It’s An Emergency! But It Can Wait. JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 7, 2020

[florida80]

Doesn’t Have The Drive To Study Geography
PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 21, 2016
(As I ring up a customer’s purchases, she gets chatty.)

Customer: “My neighbor is from Puerto Rico.”

Me: “That’s neat!”

Customer: “Yeah. Have you ever been to Puerto Rico?”

Me: “No, I haven’t. It would be nice to visit, though.”

Customer: “I think I’m going to try to go with them to visit sometime.”

Me: “That sounds fun.”

Customer: “How long do you think it takes to drive to Puerto Rico?”

Me: *thinking she’s kidding* “Oh, about as long as it takes to invent a floating car.”

Customer: “Oh. So, like, a long time?”

Me: “Yeah…”

[florida80]

Understands The Condom Minimum
PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 21, 2016
(Working in a busy pharmacy, a teenage boy and his girlfriend came up to the counter.)

Boy: “I’m looking for the condoms.” *smiling at his girlfriend, she’s looking embarrassed*

Me: “Aisle 10, right hand side.”

Boy: “Yeah, but you see, I need some extra-large condoms. The regular ones are way too small for me.” *smirking at his girlfriend*

Me: “Seriously?”

(I stand back, heave my leg up on the counter and point to it.)

Me: “See this ankle? I recently broke it, and had a cast on. I used regular-sized condoms on it to waterproof it when I had showers. If your penis is larger than this—” *pointing to my leg still up on the counter* “—then I seriously suggest you keep it away from her—” *pointing to girlfriend* “—as it’s going to do some serious damage!”

(Both boy and girlfriend walked away without saying another word.)

[florida80]

Trash-Talking Hits The Bottom Of The Barrel
CONVENIENCE STORE, PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 8, 2016
(I work in a city where the people have to buy city trash-bags that are expensive. We had to get rid of our trash barrel from outside the store because people started throwing away their home trash in it.)

Customer: *walking in with bag full of trash* “Do you have a barrel so I can throw away my trash?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we had to get rid of it.”

Customer: “Well, why?”

Me: “Because people started to bring their home trash to our store and leave it around our barrel because they didn’t want to buy city bags.”

Customer: “Well, that’s stupid. Where am I supposed to throw away my trash?”

Me: “At home with your city bags?”

[florida80]

You’ve Got Me In A Box Here…
PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 7, 2016
Customer: “Hi. I need some tablets. You know the one I got last time? I didn’t come here but it comes in a box.”

Me: “…”

[florida80]

I Can Hear You Dumb And Clear
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 29, 2016
(I have just started working at my local pharmacy. It’s my first time answering the phone and I’m really nervous.)

Me: “Pharmacy, this is [My Name]. Can I help you?”

Caller: “HELLO?? HELLLOOOO?”

Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

Caller: “HELLOOOOOOOOO. ”

Me: “Hello… ma’am?”

Caller: “CAAAAAN YOUUU HEEEAR MEEEE?”

Me: *holding phone away from my ear at this point* “Loud and clear, ma’am.”

Caller: “Oh, good. I just wanted to make sure my phone was working.” *click*

Me: *stares at phone*

[florida80]

Drive-Thru Is Not Your Calling
PHARMACY | WORKING | MARCH 27, 2016
(At our store we have a voice over that is triggered when someone pulls up to the drive-thru. To stop it from repeating, you have to pick up the phone and press the drive-thru button. This button is next to the regular phone button.)

Me: *after hearing someone pull up at drive-thru* “Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help— You know what? Never mind. I’m on my way.”

[florida80]

Didn’t See The Smoke Signals, Part 2
PHARMACY, RETAIL | RIGHT | MARCH 12, 2016
(I work in the front end of a pharmacy retailer that recently stopped selling cigarettes in an effort to promote customer health. It’s been almost two years, but exchanges like this still happen regularly.)

Customer: “Hi, I’ll have a carton of [Brand] cigarettes.”

(I look behind me to where the cigarettes used to be stored, where there is now a large sign with a crossed out cigarette and a slogan that reads: “Quitting starts here.”)

Customer: “…You don’t sell cigarettes, do you?”

[florida80]

Needs Change And A Change Of Cashier
PHARMACY | WORKING | FEBRUARY 19, 2016
(My mom has gone to a well-known pharmacy for a prescription. Her co-pay is $74 dollars. She’s given the cashier four twenties.)

Cashier: “Ma’am, I need another twenty.”

Mom: “No. I gave enough.”

Cashier: “No, I need another twenty.”

(After minutes of bickering the cashier calls her manager over.)

Cashier: “This woman refuses to pay for her medication.”

Mom: “What? I gave her enough money.”

Cashier: “No, you owe me another twenty!”

(The cashier is flustered by this point and giving my mom an evil look.)

Manager: “Let me count this.”

(He counts the twenties to find that my mom is indeed correct.)

Manager: “Uh, actually this woman needs $6 back.”

(The cashier looks at him and smiles.)

Cashier: “Oh, my math is simply awful.”

(My mom never got an apology.)

[florida80]

Needs Poster-Board To Smash Your Head Through
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 19, 2016
(A customer is making a purchase, which has been going normally until the end.)

Me: “All right, that’ll be [amount].”

Customer: “What? That poster-board was supposed to be $4.99.”

(I go with her to check the price marked on the shelf.)

Me: “This is where it was supposed to go; someone put it in the wrong place.”

(I indicate the $8.99 shelf tag; assuming that she wants a $4.99 pack, I grab one and return to the front, to which she does not object. I void out the more expensive pack and ring up the other. After I finish ringing it up…)

Customer: “That’s not the poster-board I want.”

Me: “It’s the pack that’s $4.99.”

Customer: “Well, you don’t have to be so rude about it. Just void that and I’ll pick out the poster-board.”

Me: “All right, your other items will be six—”

(I’m cut off by the customer walking away to pick out her poster-board without finishing the sale for her other items, with three customers waiting in line behind her, and no other cashiers on duty. Fortunately, the other register hasn’t been closed out yet, so I can still ring them up somewhere. She finally returns with the poster-board she wants, but I need manager approval because of all the voided items.)

Me: *over the PA, right in front of her* “Manager approval at the front, please.”

Customer: “Why isn’t the sale going through?!”

Me: “I need approval because of all the voids.”

Customer: “You could have said something!”

(Finally, my manager can pass the sale through, with the customer complaining about my service the whole time; my manager promises to have a talk with me over it. Once the store is empty…)

Manager: “So… from how she was acting, I’m guessing she was already in a b***h-fit when she came in?”

[florida80]

Talking Out Of Their Asthma
PHARMACY | WORKING | FEBRUARY 6, 2016
(It is just after daylight savings and the clock in our work room has not been changed yet. My coworker decides to take matters into her own hands and stacks up boxes to be able to reach it. She then makes a face about how dusty it is.)

Coworker: “Oh my! I’m gonna have an asthma attack. I don’t have asthma but I’m gonna catch it from this!”

(This coming from someone who works in a pharmacy and knows how this stuff works!)

[florida80]

Not A Very Product-ive Answer
PHARMACY | WORKING | JANUARY 29, 2016
(Our store has recently been purchased by another independent chain and has undergone a massive remodel. All of our stock has been moved to different locations and some things we used to have are not available anymore. As the staff is learning the new layout, we inevitably have this conversation with customers three times a day…)

Customer: “I’m trying to find [Product].”

Staff: “Well if you need any help finding it, let us know and we’ll be just as lost as you are!”

[florida80]

Discharged And Distasteful
PHARMACY | WORKING | JANUARY 26, 2016
(I work in the call center of a pharmacy that takes care of long term facilities such as nursing homes. As such, we speak mostly with the nurses taking care of the patients.)

Me: “Hello, I am calling from [Pharmacy] and need to know if a patient was discharged from your facility. We see another patient has been admitted into their room.”

Nurse: “All right, who was the patient?”

Me: “[Name of patient].”

Nurse: “Oh, yes she was discharged to the hospital this morning. She isn’t doing too well.”

Me: *typing her answer without thinking* “Oh, wonderful, thank you so much!”

(The nurse was silent until I said goodbye and I didn’t even think about my response until I had hung up. I promise I am not that cold!)

[florida80]

An Anxiety-Inducing Fact
PHARMACY | WORKING | JANUARY 21, 2016
(An extremely rude customer has just left our pharmacy after we refused to fill his prescription. We legally couldn’t fill it without his doctor’s permission because another pharmacy had filled the same medication the day before. The tech who helped him is telling us what happened.)

Tech: “…and so then he said, ‘I make more money in a day than you do in a month!’”

Pharmacist: “Well, what you should have said is, ‘Yeah, but I have ninety Xanax back here and you don’t.’”

[florida80]

No Pain For This Refill
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 20, 2016
(I work as a pharmacy technician. A lady needs her medication refilled but has no refills left. I offer to call the doctor for her but she is mad that we won’t just fill her prescription then and there. Her medication is used for blood pressure.)

Customer: “Since you won’t give me my medication, can I just take this in the meantime?” *holds up aspirin*

Me: “Uhm… no. Aspirin is not the same as your [blood pressure medication].”

Customer: “Why? It’s the same size and color as my medication.”

[florida80]

Sick Of Your Parenting Assumptions
PHARMACY | WORKING | JANUARY 4, 2016
(I’m a 23-year-old woman who moved away from home over four years ago. I have no significant other or kids, so I’m only fending for myself. Because I rarely get sick, I have never gotten around to buying a thermometer. Finally I do catch a cold, so I decide to pick one up. I’m not feeling entirely clearheaded because of my cold.)

Pharmacy Assistant: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Me: “Hi! I’m looking for a thermometer. Where can I find them?”

Pharmacy Assistant: “They’re here.” *shows me a baby thermometer* “This one is really good if your kids are really young, because it has a soft tip and it gives results fast.” *shows me two more baby thermometers* “These are also good for kids.”

(A long silence follows, as I try to figure out in my woozy head why I should be using it on kids, not myself.)

Pharmacy Assistant: “Oh, and here’s our basic model. But those are all really good for kids!” *looks at me expectantly*

(Feeling like a bad mother to my non-existent children, I picked up the basic model and thanked her. Don’t adults take their own temperature any more?)

[florida80]

Not Thinking Inside The Box
PHARMACY | WORKING | NOVEMBER 26, 2015
(My wife has a bad eye infection and after a trip to the doctor, we take her prescription for antibiotic eye-drops to a pharmacy to be filled. They tell us we can pick it up in an hour. A little more than an hour later I go back to pick it up.)

Me: “Hi, I’m picking up a prescription for [Wife].”

Pharmacist: “We don’t seem to have that here. When did you drop it off?”

Me: “About an hour ago.”

Pharmacist: “Oh, here’s the record… This won’t be ready for three days. We don’t have it here.”

Me: “What? She has an infection and needs her medicine now, not three days from now. Why didn’t you tell us it would take so long when we dropped it off so we could go to another pharmacy?”

Pharmacist: “Well, we just got the shipment in today, but we haven’t opened the boxes yet to take out the medicine.”

Me: “It takes three days to open a box?”

Pharmacist: “Well, I guess if you want to wait 10 or 15 minutes, I can get it for you.”

Me: “…Yes. Do that, please.”

Pharmacist: *sighing* “Fine, I’ll go get it. I hate having to open the boxes.”

[florida80]

Weeding Out The Irresponsible Users
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 6, 2015
(I am working the closing shift one evening, with my only other company being my boss, the head pharmacist. A man comes in to pick up a fairly mundane prescription.)

Me: “Before I ring this up, do you have any questions for the pharmacist?”

Customer: “Yeah, will this have any interactions with marijuana?”

Me: *looking to the pharmacist* “Um…”

(My boss comes over to the registers and makes a show of looking through the printed information pamphlet that comes with every prescription.)

Pharmacist: “I don’t believe so…”

Customer: *picking up on our unease* “Oh, don’t worry. I don’t go out on the road or anything when I get high. I just stay home until my trip ends.”

(He then paid his bill and left.)

Me: *to pharmacist* “…Well, at least he’s being responsible about it.”

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #219137 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=219137)
CONNECTICUT, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | DECEMBER 25, 2020
(I work as a pharmacy technician, and usually am working the pick up counter. It’s slow one day, so I start answering the phones, as the phones are ringing off the hook. This is one of the calls)
Me:[pharmacy name], [My name] speaking, how can I help?
Customer: Hi my name is [gives name and address] and I want you to stop calling me.
(Our pharmacy is known for sending out a lot of calls, both automated and in person, so this isn’t an unusual complaint. As a result we mark certain profiles with a non-outreach message so techs and pharmacists will know not to call)
Me; I’m sorry to hear that, now what’s your date of birth so I can make a note not to call?
Customer: It’s not for me, you keep calling for a foreign name, **says some odd and long name, that I have no hope of spelling**, and that person has never lived here, and I haven’t used your pharmacy in years!
(Due to HIPPAA laws, I can’t just look up the patient profile, since that would be giving out personal health information, and is against the law.)
Me: Alright, so I can’t access the patient profile, but if you call [helpline that deals with customer service, including automated calls], they’d be able to remove your number from the calling list.
Customer:**now irritated** why do I have to call, when you’re the ones making the mistake?
Me: because we can’t just look up a profile based on a phone number, especially where you don’t have a full name, or date of birth, that’s accessing unnecessary personal health information, and it’s against the law.
Customer: But why can’t you just remove the number from the calling list?
Me:**realizing I’m not getting anywhere** because even if you did have the personal health information, it still wouldn’t stop any automated calls, the only way to stop those would be to call [customer helpline]
Customer:**groans** fine, I guess I’ll have to answer the phone and tell them I don’t use their drugs anymore. (note, answering the phone would only stop non-automated calls, this wont remove all calls. I also glance at pick up, and realize there’s a line forming.)
Me: Alright sir, have a good day.
Customer: Thanks for nothing! **hangs up**
(Fortunately, most other people I’ve dealt with this problem have been more understanding, and do call the helpline).

[florida80]

Let’s Hope This Isn’t A Repeat Problem
EMPLOYEES, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PHARMACY, STUPID, UK | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 21, 2020
Our general practitioner sends any prescriptions straight to our local pharmacy for us to pick up. For repeat prescriptions, we pop the request into the GP and then the medications are ready for pickup three days later.

Today, I have a telephone appointment and my GP prescribes some medication to start taking straight away and sends the prescription over to the pharmacy. I dropped a repeat prescription request into the GP two days ago, but I know those meds should not be ready yet.

Me: “I’m here to pick up a prescription for [My Name].”

The pharmacist assistant checks the computer.

Pharmacist Assistant: “I’ve got a few different items on here for you. Did you put in a repeat?”

Me: “Yes, but I don’t mind if they’re not ready. I just need [medication].”

Pharmacist Assistant: “Did you see your GP today?”

Me: “Yes, I had an appointment about two hours ago; he said he’d send the prescription over.”

Pharmacist Assistant: “Okay, hold on.”

She goes to speak to the pharmacist.

Pharmacist: “[My Name]? Your repeat prescription has only just been sent to us. It takes three days.”

Me: “Yes, I know. I saw my GP today and he gave me [medication]; that’s what I need to pick up.”

Pharmacist: “We can’t issue your prescriptions today, I’m afraid. We haven’t processed them yet.”

Me: “I don’t want my repeat prescriptions today. I’ll come back for them. I just want [medication].”

Pharmacist: “Your repeat will be ready tomorrow. If you’d like to come back we can issue everything together.”

Me: “Look, I spoke to my GP today, he sent the prescription for [medication] today, and he wants me to start taking it today. Can I please just pick up [medication]?”

Pharmacist: “You don’t want to wait for the repeat to be ready?”

Me: “No. I want [medication]. I do not want to wait for the repeat. I will come back tomorrow for the repeat. I want [medication] today. Can I pick up [medication], just [medication], only [medication], right now? And I will pick up my repeat tomorrow!”

Pharmacist: “Uh… let me get that for you.”

A few minutes later, the assistant calls me over.

Pharmacist Assistant: “[My Name]? I’ve got a prescription for you here. Would you like to pick it up now or add it to your repeat for pickup tomorrow?”

Me: “Really?!”

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #219021 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=219021)
PHARMACY, USA, WISCONSIN | UNFILTERED | DECEMBER 20, 2020
(Phone call)

Me: Thank you for calling [pharmacy], how may I help you?

Pt: (obviously already angry) you messed up my prescription. You didn’t give me enough.

Me: okay, let me take a look at your file. (There are several reasons they may not get the full quantity, due to insurance, doctor restrictions, short stock, etc…) What is your date of birth and name?

Pt: (give me his info and while one looking home up) I was supposed to get 60 pills but you didn’t give me enough [sounding angrier]

Me: okay which prescription?

Pt: you didn’t give me enough [medication]. I was supposed to get two weeks worth.

Me: (find the medication on his list, and sure enough he got 2 weeks worth) yes, we gave you two weeks worth.

Pt: no you didn’t I only got 56 pills.

(Now I am super confused as 56 pills is a two week supply of his medication)

Me: yes that is two weeks worth.

Pt: no I should have gotten 60. If I get 120 for a month I should get 60 for two weeks.

Me: well you get 4 pills per day and there are 14 days in two week. Which mean 56 pills.

Pt: no it a 15 day because there are 30 days in a month.

Me: sir a month had more that 4 weeks typically.

(I explained math to him for 5 minutes before he hung up)

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #218527 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=218527)
NORWAY, PHARMACY | UNFILTERED | DECEMBER 15, 2020
I’m ringing up my next customer at work, who immediately seems to get annoyed when realizing she forgot her ID. (Nescessary for all non-paper prescriptions in Norway)

Customer: Well, can you at least check if I have [Medicine]?
Me: I can’t do that without your ID.
Customer: Why? It’s not like I’m taking out a million!
Me: It’s because- (immediately cuts me off)
Customer: You guys are the most difficult pharmacy in the entire city, you know that!?
Me: Well, we-
Customer: I never have this problem at [other pharmacy]!
Me: Yeah, but-
Customer: Just forget it! (and so she storms off)

She later came back with her ID, though I wasn’t the one helping her out this time. I asked the coworker who had afterwards, and it went fine until she was asked wether she wanted generica (same active ingredient in same amount)

Customer: I obviously want the one the doctor wrote down! You guys are such nazis about it, you always want to force it on me!
Coworker: Well, you’re getting exactly what you want, so there’s really no reason for you to complain about it!

[florida80]

Her Bra Size Is 5G
MONEY, PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, RUDE & RISQUE, USA | RIGHT | DECEMBER 14, 2020
I’m helping a lady at the register and we are wrapping up her sale. I hand her the change and she looks in both directions.

Customer: “I’ll just put this in the drawers.”

She stuffs the money down her bra.

Customer: “I keep my phone on the other side.”

I was totally blank for a minute.

[florida80]

Should Keep Their Hopes Low About Getting High
PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 1, 2016
(I’m working the Sunday shift on my own at the counter, when three young boys in their teens walk in.)

Me: “Good morning, how can I help you today?”

Customer #1: “We’re looking for some salvia.”

Me: “Excuse me… what? Could you repeat that?”

Customer #1: “Salvia.”

Me: *having never heard of this* “I… I’m not sure…”

Customer #2: “SALVIA, you dumb b****! SAL-VEEEE-AAAA!”

Me: “What is it used for?”

Customer #1: *sighs* “I thought you were meant to know all about this stuff? It’s a drug, to get you high, like weed or heroin and stuff.”

Me: “…”

Customer #2: “It’s legal. They haven’t banned it yet!”

Me: “We… we don’t sell recreational drugs here.”

Customer #3: “Well, then, where the h*** are we meant to get it?”

Me: “You could try your local dealer…”

(To this day I still don’t know what possessed them into thinking that a pharmacy would sell recreational drugs!)

[florida80]

A Cent-less Complaint
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 17, 2016
Me: “Ma’am, your copay for your prescription is five cents.”

Customer: “You selfish little c***! My copay should be zero! Does it look like I have that kind of money on me!?”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s a nickel. I think you can find one in the cup holder of your car. I’m sorry, but I can’t sell you your prescription without it being paid for.”

Customer: “Well f*** you and this f****** store! I’m calling your management!”

(Two hours later.)

Boss: “We had a complaint about you today. Care to explain?”

Me: “She couldn’t pay for her five cent prescription.”

Boss: *rolling eyes* “Go home.”

[florida80]

Throw In Some Stress Pills While You’re At It
PHARMACY | WORKING | JULY 17, 2016
(I go to a podiatrist because I have a fungal infection, and he wrote me a prescription for some pills and says that he will send it to the pharmacy. I go to the pharmacy for the medicine.)

Me: “Hello, I’m here to pick up this prescription?”

Clerk: “Okay.”

Me: “Here it is.”

(I hand what the doctor gave me over. It has the pharmacy name and address, and the doctor’s name and address. She frowns and squints at it, looks at the computer, and frowns again.)

Clerk: “This is your doctor?”

Me: “Yes, Dr. [Name].”

Clerk: “Okay…”

(She gives me a narrow-eyed suspicious look and leaves. I figure that she went to give it to the pharmacist to fill. I wait a minute, and then ask again.)

Me: “Hello, I’m trying to pick up my prescription?”

Same Clerk: “Name?”

Me: “Name.”

(She goes and gets it, but doesn’t hand it over.)

Same Clerk: “ID?”

Me: *gives it*

Same Clerk: “Address?”

Me: *gives it*

Same Clerk: *scowls suspiciously, frowning at computer*

(At this point, I’m getting annoyed. It’s been over 15 minutes.)

Me: “It’s me! That’s my prescription!”

Same Clerk: “Well… okaaay.”

(She hands it over, along with my ID, still unsure. Not all of us are drug abusers, lady.)

[florida80]

Hot-Blooded Versus Low-Blooded
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 15, 2016
(I am a pharmacy student currently working as a technician at a local pharmacy. A patient who is on a blood-pressure lowering medication is now starting a new lowered dose.)

Me: “Hi, Mr. [Patient]. I just wanted to make sure that you’re aware the doctor is changing the dose for your medication?”

Patient: “Yup, I was getting lightheaded and passing out from the medication.”

Me: “Oh, that’s unfortunate. Well, hopefully this new dose works out better for you!”

Patient: “Yeah, so I was on top of my wife and then suddenly I blacked out and I fell on top of her, and it just really killed the mood, y’know? After that, the moment was just over…”

[florida80]

Not Tip-Toeing Around It
PHARMACY | WORKING | JULY 5, 2016
(I work at a pharmacy as a cashier. The pharmacist on duty has been working here for years and knows all of our regulars. A customer has a question for him so I forward it over to him without much of a thought.)

Pharmacist: “All right, we’ll try that. Cross your fingers and toes!” *pause* “Okay, it worked. Have a good day!”

(He hangs up the phone and bursts out laughing.)

Pharmacist: “Well, I feel like an a** right now.”

Me: “What happened?”

Pharmacist: “Mrs. [Name]? The one I just got off the phone with? I told her to cross her fingers and toes and she doesn’t have legs.”

[florida80]

I Prescribe Some Patience
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 29, 2016
Customer: “I’d like to fill a prescription but I also wanted to ask about this medicine.” *puts two boxes of OTC painkillers on the counter* “Can I use this for my migraine?”

(I start by asking her various questions about the migraine to see whether she should get something OTC or if she should see a doctor. I also ask about contraindications for the particular drug. From the answers I get I explain to her that the drug she chose on the shelf is not suitable for her and I go to the shelf to get a different medicine. All in all this has not taken more than a few minutes, and going to the shelf and back a maximum of 15 seconds. As I return she’s really upset with me and snaps.)

Customer: “How come you got so preoccupied with this? I told you I was here to fill a prescription!”

[florida80]

“Birth” Defect
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 22, 2016
Customer: “Where do you keep your ‘birth checkers’?”

Me: “If by ‘birth checkers’ you actually mean our pregnancy tests… aisle eight, right-hand side, top shelf.”

Customer: “Okay. Do you know if an ultrasound can tell if the baby is white or black?”

Me: “…”

[florida80]

Too Much Meth, Not Enough Math
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 10, 2016
Me: “Okay, just so you know, sir, a three-month supply of this medication is going to cost you about $400.”

Customer: “What?! No. You’re wrong. When I picked it up last it was a third of that!”

(I look up his payment and pick up history in the system.)

Me: “It looks like this new prescription is the same medication as the last but you’re allowed to pick up three months at a time instead of just one. Is that correct?”

Customer: “Yes! But it’s never this expensive!”

Me: “Well, you’re picking up more at one time which is why it is a higher cost.”

Customer: “No! You’re wrong. It’s not supposed to be this expensive!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t set the prices. Your insurance company tells us what to charge you based on your plan.”

(This commences a 10 minute rant about how this medication is too expensive and he KNOWS he shouldn’t owe this much because he has been in the industry for 20 years and has a PhD.)

Customer: “When I picked it up last month it was only $133! It shouldn’t be $400!”

Me: “So… you previously picked up a one month supply for $133? And you’re upset because this three-month supply is three times the cost of the one-month supply?”

Customer: “YES!”

(Sadly this man did not see the math and proceeded to stay for the next 45 minutes and tell me exactly what was wrong with the entire industry and why it was my fault. Unfortunately, I have more stories about this guy from this 45 minute encounter alone.)

[florida80]

Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 8
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 8, 2016
Customer: “Excuse me; can I use this coupon here?”

(The coupon looks like a standard buy-one-get-one coupon, and I see that she has some of the items depicted.)

Me: “Yes, you should be able to!”

(I ring up the items, but end up having trouble with the coupon.)

Me: “Oh, I’m very sorry; I didn’t look at the coupon closely. You need to buy two [Brand] items to get these items free.”

Customer: “But I did buy them!”

Me: “Were they on the counter? I don’t think I rang any up…”

Customer: “No, I bought them at [Store next door].”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “I have the receipt; I can show you that I’m not lying…”

Me: “No, no, that’s not… To use the coupon, you usually have to buy them in the same purchase… at the same store.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I don’t think the coupon says that.”

Me: “I don’t think they felt it needed to…”

[florida80]

Puntassium
PHARMACY | WORKING | JUNE 1, 2016
Customer: “Do you sell potassium over the counter?”

Me: “Nope. Sorry. It’s by prescription only.”

Customer: “You sell all of these vitamins, but no potassium; Unbelievable!”

Me: “Yeah. I know. It’s bananas!”

[florida80]

Obama-Careless, Part 3
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MAY 30, 2016
(I work in a pharmacy where I hear about how awful the new healthcare laws are at least four times a day. I personally have Marketplace coverage and keep my mouth shut all the time, but this one is too stupid to overlook:)

Customer: “I need refills on my medication.”

Me: “Okay, let me look it up… I’m sorry, sir, you have no refills left. I can fax the doctor to ask for more.”

Customer: *stares at me like I just committed murder* “See! This is that d*** Obamacare! I need my medication!”

Me: *in the calmest voice possible* “Sir, do you understand how pharmacy works? You used all your refills already. If you would like I can try to call the White House and see if President Obama can authorize a new prescription.”

(I pick up the phone and call information and ask to be connected to the White House.)

Customer: “Don’t be rude to me! You’re obviously an Obama lover.”

Me: “No, I just wanted you to see how uneducated and ridiculous you sound. By the way Obama is not in the office right now so you’ll have to wait on those refills. Have a great day!”

(I walked away.)

[florida80]

You’ll Have The Devil To Pay, Part 2
AT THE CHECKOUT, PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, RELIGION, USA | WORKING | MAY 24, 2016
(I am at a local pharmacy.)

Cashier: *ringing me up* “Okay, ma’am, your total today comes to—” *pauses a moment and looks like a deer in the headlights* “—$6.66.”

(I calmly get my money to pay and the cashier finishes bagging my items, still looking like a deer in the headlights. Finally, my receipt is being printed out.)

Cashier: “Do you, uh, want your receipt?”

Me: “Yes, please!”

Cashier: *takes the receipt and crumples it into a ball and TOSSES it onto the counter* “Here you go.”

Me: *shocked* “Uh, thanks…” *takes the receipt and straightens it out*

Cashier: “Don’t let the Devil get you!”

[florida80]

That’s One For The Books
PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 23, 2016
Me: “Can I get a book of stamps, please?”

(The clerk opens the drawer under the counter where they keep the stamps. She takes out a book of stamps…and another…and another…and another until every book of stamps in the drawer is on the counter.)

Clerk: “These are all we have. Is this enough for a whole book?”

[florida80]

Maybe You Didn’t Say What You Thought You Said
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MAY 17, 2016
(We have a lot of multicultural customers come into our store and as I love languages I like to ask about their accents and learn a phrase or two if I can. A young woman and her elderly mother have been talking in another language before coming to my register.)

Me: “Hi there, did you find everything okay? And do you mind me asking what language that was?”

Daughter: “It’s a dialect of Italian.”

Me: “How would I say ‘have a nice day’?”

Mother: “Fi una bella giornata.”

(As I hand them their purchases.)

Me: “Well, then, fi una bella giornata!”

Daughter: “Very good!”

(The mother then says something in Italian before slapping me in the rear.)

Mother: “Maybe I find you boyfriend!”

[florida80]

Could Have Survived That Better
PHARMACY | WORKING | APRIL 30, 2016
(I work with a small mom and pop pharmacy for several years. Due to budget cuts it is necessary to layoff an employee. After discussing our options the owner decides to fire a technician who, though friendly, is relatively lazy. This is when Survivor first debuted.)

Boss: “So, [Coworker], you’ve been voted off the island.”

Coworker: “…”

Me: “…”

[florida80]

Doesn’t Have The Drive To Study Geography
PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 21, 2016
(As I ring up a customer’s purchases, she gets chatty.)

Customer: “My neighbor is from Puerto Rico.”

Me: “That’s neat!”

Customer: “Yeah. Have you ever been to Puerto Rico?”

Me: “No, I haven’t. It would be nice to visit, though.”

Customer: “I think I’m going to try to go with them to visit sometime.”

Me: “That sounds fun.”

Customer: “How long do you think it takes to drive to Puerto Rico?”

Me: *thinking she’s kidding* “Oh, about as long as it takes to invent a floating car.”

Customer: “Oh. So, like, a long time?”

Me: “Yeah…”

[florida80]

Understands The Condom Minimum
PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 21, 2016
(Working in a busy pharmacy, a teenage boy and his girlfriend came up to the counter.)

Boy: “I’m looking for the condoms.” *smiling at his girlfriend, she’s looking embarrassed*

Me: “Aisle 10, right hand side.”

Boy: “Yeah, but you see, I need some extra-large condoms. The regular ones are way too small for me.” *smirking at his girlfriend*

Me: “Seriously?”

(I stand back, heave my leg up on the counter and point to it.)

Me: “See this ankle? I recently broke it, and had a cast on. I used regular-sized condoms on it to waterproof it when I had showers. If your penis is larger than this—” *pointing to my leg still up on the counter* “—then I seriously suggest you keep it away from her—” *pointing to girlfriend* “—as it’s going to do some serious damage!”

(Both boy and girlfriend walked away without saying another word.)

[florida80]

Trash-Talking Hits The Bottom Of The Barrel
CONVENIENCE STORE, PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 8, 2016
(I work in a city where the people have to buy city trash-bags that are expensive. We had to get rid of our trash barrel from outside the store because people started throwing away their home trash in it.)

Customer: *walking in with bag full of trash* “Do you have a barrel so I can throw away my trash?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we had to get rid of it.”

Customer: “Well, why?”

Me: “Because people started to bring their home trash to our store and leave it around our barrel because they didn’t want to buy city bags.”

Customer: “Well, that’s stupid. Where am I supposed to throw away my trash?”

Me: “At home with your city bags?”

[florida80]

You’ve Got Me In A Box Here…
PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 7, 2016
Customer: “Hi. I need some tablets. You know the one I got last time? I didn’t come here but it comes in a box.”

Me: “…”

[florida80]

I Can Hear You Dumb And Clear
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 29, 2016
(I have just started working at my local pharmacy. It’s my first time answering the phone and I’m really nervous.)

Me: “Pharmacy, this is [My Name]. Can I help you?”

Caller: “HELLO?? HELLLOOOO?”

Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

Caller: “HELLOOOOOOOOO. ”

Me: “Hello… ma’am?”

Caller: “CAAAAAN YOUUU HEEEAR MEEEE?”

Me: *holding phone away from my ear at this point* “Loud and clear, ma’am.”

Caller: “Oh, good. I just wanted to make sure my phone was working.” *click*

Me: *stares at phone*

[florida80]

Drive-Thru Is Not Your Calling
PHARMACY | WORKING | MARCH 27, 2016
(At our store we have a voice over that is triggered when someone pulls up to the drive-thru. To stop it from repeating, you have to pick up the phone and press the drive-thru button. This button is next to the regular phone button.)

Me: *after hearing someone pull up at drive-thru* “Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help— You know what? Never mind. I’m on my way.”

[florida80]

Didn’t See The Smoke Signals, Part 2
PHARMACY, RETAIL | RIGHT | MARCH 12, 2016
(I work in the front end of a pharmacy retailer that recently stopped selling cigarettes in an effort to promote customer health. It’s been almost two years, but exchanges like this still happen regularly.)

Customer: “Hi, I’ll have a carton of [Brand] cigarettes.”

(I look behind me to where the cigarettes used to be stored, where there is now a large sign with a crossed out cigarette and a slogan that reads: “Quitting starts here.”)

Customer: “…You don’t sell cigarettes, do you?”

[florida80]

Needs Change And A Change Of Cashier
PHARMACY | WORKING | FEBRUARY 19, 2016
(My mom has gone to a well-known pharmacy for a prescription. Her co-pay is $74 dollars. She’s given the cashier four twenties.)

Cashier: “Ma’am, I need another twenty.”

Mom: “No. I gave enough.”

Cashier: “No, I need another twenty.”

(After minutes of bickering the cashier calls her manager over.)

Cashier: “This woman refuses to pay for her medication.”

Mom: “What? I gave her enough money.”

Cashier: “No, you owe me another twenty!”

(The cashier is flustered by this point and giving my mom an evil look.)

Manager: “Let me count this.”

(He counts the twenties to find that my mom is indeed correct.)

Manager: “Uh, actually this woman needs $6 back.”

(The cashier looks at him and smiles.)

Cashier: “Oh, my math is simply awful.”

(My mom never got an apology.)

[florida80]

Needs Poster-Board To Smash Your Head Through
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 19, 2016
(A customer is making a purchase, which has been going normally until the end.)

Me: “All right, that’ll be [amount].”

Customer: “What? That poster-board was supposed to be $4.99.”

(I go with her to check the price marked on the shelf.)

Me: “This is where it was supposed to go; someone put it in the wrong place.”

(I indicate the $8.99 shelf tag; assuming that she wants a $4.99 pack, I grab one and return to the front, to which she does not object. I void out the more expensive pack and ring up the other. After I finish ringing it up…)

Customer: “That’s not the poster-board I want.”

Me: “It’s the pack that’s $4.99.”

Customer: “Well, you don’t have to be so rude about it. Just void that and I’ll pick out the poster-board.”

Me: “All right, your other items will be six—”

(I’m cut off by the customer walking away to pick out her poster-board without finishing the sale for her other items, with three customers waiting in line behind her, and no other cashiers on duty. Fortunately, the other register hasn’t been closed out yet, so I can still ring them up somewhere. She finally returns with the poster-board she wants, but I need manager approval because of all the voided items.)

Me: *over the PA, right in front of her* “Manager approval at the front, please.”

Customer: “Why isn’t the sale going through?!”

Me: “I need approval because of all the voids.”

Customer: “You could have said something!”

(Finally, my manager can pass the sale through, with the customer complaining about my service the whole time; my manager promises to have a talk with me over it. Once the store is empty…)

Manager: “So… from how she was acting, I’m guessing she was already in a b***h-fit when she came in?”

[florida80]

Talking Out Of Their Asthma
PHARMACY | WORKING | FEBRUARY 6, 2016
(It is just after daylight savings and the clock in our work room has not been changed yet. My coworker decides to take matters into her own hands and stacks up boxes to be able to reach it. She then makes a face about how dusty it is.)

Coworker: “Oh my! I’m gonna have an asthma attack. I don’t have asthma but I’m gonna catch it from this!”

(This coming from someone who works in a pharmacy and knows how this stuff works!)

[florida80]

Not A Very Product-ive Answer
PHARMACY | WORKING | JANUARY 29, 2016
(Our store has recently been purchased by another independent chain and has undergone a massive remodel. All of our stock has been moved to different locations and some things we used to have are not available anymore. As the staff is learning the new layout, we inevitably have this conversation with customers three times a day…)

Customer: “I’m trying to find [Product].”

Staff: “Well if you need any help finding it, let us know and we’ll be just as lost as you are!”

[florida80]

Discharged And Distasteful
PHARMACY | WORKING | JANUARY 26, 2016
(I work in the call center of a pharmacy that takes care of long term facilities such as nursing homes. As such, we speak mostly with the nurses taking care of the patients.)

Me: “Hello, I am calling from [Pharmacy] and need to know if a patient was discharged from your facility. We see another patient has been admitted into their room.”

Nurse: “All right, who was the patient?”

Me: “[Name of patient].”

Nurse: “Oh, yes she was discharged to the hospital this morning. She isn’t doing too well.”

Me: *typing her answer without thinking* “Oh, wonderful, thank you so much!”

(The nurse was silent until I said goodbye and I didn’t even think about my response until I had hung up. I promise I am not that cold!)

[florida80]

An Anxiety-Inducing Fact
PHARMACY | WORKING | JANUARY 21, 2016
(An extremely rude customer has just left our pharmacy after we refused to fill his prescription. We legally couldn’t fill it without his doctor’s permission because another pharmacy had filled the same medication the day before. The tech who helped him is telling us what happened.)

Tech: “…and so then he said, ‘I make more money in a day than you do in a month!’”

Pharmacist: “Well, what you should have said is, ‘Yeah, but I have ninety Xanax back here and you don’t.’”

[florida80]

No Pain For This Refill
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 20, 2016
(I work as a pharmacy technician. A lady needs her medication refilled but has no refills left. I offer to call the doctor for her but she is mad that we won’t just fill her prescription then and there. Her medication is used for blood pressure.)

Customer: “Since you won’t give me my medication, can I just take this in the meantime?” *holds up aspirin*

Me: “Uhm… no. Aspirin is not the same as your [blood pressure medication].”

Customer: “Why? It’s the same size and color as my medication.”

[florida80]

No Pain For This Refill
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 20, 2016
(I work as a pharmacy technician. A lady needs her medication refilled but has no refills left. I offer to call the doctor for her but she is mad that we won’t just fill her prescription then and there. Her medication is used for blood pressure.)

Customer: “Since you won’t give me my medication, can I just take this in the meantime?” *holds up aspirin*

Me: “Uhm… no. Aspirin is not the same as your [blood pressure medication].”

Customer: “Why? It’s the same size and color as my medication.”

[florida80]

Sick Of Your Parenting Assumptions
PHARMACY | WORKING | JANUARY 4, 2016
(I’m a 23-year-old woman who moved away from home over four years ago. I have no significant other or kids, so I’m only fending for myself. Because I rarely get sick, I have never gotten around to buying a thermometer. Finally I do catch a cold, so I decide to pick one up. I’m not feeling entirely clearheaded because of my cold.)

Pharmacy Assistant: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Me: “Hi! I’m looking for a thermometer. Where can I find them?”

Pharmacy Assistant: “They’re here.” *shows me a baby thermometer* “This one is really good if your kids are really young, because it has a soft tip and it gives results fast.” *shows me two more baby thermometers* “These are also good for kids.”

(A long silence follows, as I try to figure out in my woozy head why I should be using it on kids, not myself.)

Pharmacy Assistant: “Oh, and here’s our basic model. But those are all really good for kids!” *looks at me expectantly*

(Feeling like a bad mother to my non-existent children, I picked up the basic model and thanked her. Don’t adults take their own temperature any more?

[florida80]

Not Thinking Inside The Box
PHARMACY | WORKING | NOVEMBER 26, 2015
(My wife has a bad eye infection and after a trip to the doctor, we take her prescription for antibiotic eye-drops to a pharmacy to be filled. They tell us we can pick it up in an hour. A little more than an hour later I go back to pick it up.)

Me: “Hi, I’m picking up a prescription for [Wife].”

Pharmacist: “We don’t seem to have that here. When did you drop it off?”

Me: “About an hour ago.”

Pharmacist: “Oh, here’s the record… This won’t be ready for three days. We don’t have it here.”

Me: “What? She has an infection and needs her medicine now, not three days from now. Why didn’t you tell us it would take so long when we dropped it off so we could go to another pharmacy?”

Pharmacist: “Well, we just got the shipment in today, but we haven’t opened the boxes yet to take out the medicine.”

Me: “It takes three days to open a box?”

Pharmacist: “Well, I guess if you want to wait 10 or 15 minutes, I can get it for you.”

Me: “…Yes. Do that, please.”

Pharmacist: *sighing* “Fine, I’ll go get it. I hate having to open the boxes.”

[florida80]

Weeding Out The Irresponsible Users
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 6, 2015
(I am working the closing shift one evening, with my only other company being my boss, the head pharmacist. A man comes in to pick up a fairly mundane prescription.)

Me: “Before I ring this up, do you have any questions for the pharmacist?”

Customer: “Yeah, will this have any interactions with marijuana?”

Me: *looking to the pharmacist* “Um…”

(My boss comes over to the registers and makes a show of looking through the printed information pamphlet that comes with every prescription.)

Pharmacist: “I don’t believe so…”

Customer: *picking up on our unease* “Oh, don’t worry. I don’t go out on the road or anything when I get high. I just stay home until my trip ends.”

(He then paid his bill and left.)

Me: *to pharmacist* “…Well, at least he’s being responsible about it.”

[florida80]

Cutting Straight To The Point
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 3, 2015
(I have been waiting on line for a long time, but am finally next. Just as the person in front is finishing up their transaction, a woman cuts right in front of me.)

Me: “Excuse me.”

Woman: “Are you next?”

Me: *in an annoyed tone* “Yes.”

Woman: “And are you a total b****?”

Me: “…Also yes, but I don’t see what that has to do with it.”

[florida80]

Unsanitary Behavior
PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 27, 2015
(I am checking out a woman’s prescriptions. She had just finished paying and signing for them when this happens.)

Customer: “Hey there is a big spot of something here on the counter.”

Me: “Oh, yeah, so there is. It’s probably someone who dripped some of the hand sanitizer from the bottle over there on the counter. But to be on the safe side I have some alcohol in a spray bottle and I will clean that right up.”

(I walk over to the other side of the counter grab the bottle and some paper towels to clean it up. When I get over there she had taken the pump out of the bottle of sanitizer and dumped almost the entire bottle on the counter and spread it over almost 2/3 of the counter. See looks at me all smiles.)

Customer: “There, all better. Nice and clean for you!”

(She then just walked away leaving me to have to clean up the GIANT puddle of goop off the counter.)

[florida80]

This Is Not The Android You Are Looking For
PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 2, 2015
(I’m working the register when I overhear this interaction between a customer and my coworker.)

Customer: “Can I get a cord to connect my iPhone to your photo kiosk?”

Coworker: “Sure! What kind of iPhone is it?”

Customer: “Samsung.”

[florida80]

Burning Your Bridges With Midnight Oil
PHARMACY | WORKING | SEPTEMBER 28, 2015
(When I was hired at this store, it was under the condition that I will not have to work midnight shifts because the last bus I can take home leaves at nine. I am not the only special case when it comes to scheduling, but I am the only one in the store who takes the bus. About six months later, the store goes through a change in management. Throughout the change and the holiday season that year, the majority of the store employees realize the new manager is not so great and is firing people for arbitrary and possibly illegal reasons. After the holiday season he stops scheduling me entirely unless it is to cover sick call outs. Then I get this phone call.)

Manager: “Hi, [My Name], this is [Manager]. I’m calling because you never filled out this paperwork.”

Me: “I didn’t know I had any paperwork to fill out. I’m sorry.”

Manager: “Well, you have to do it on the store computer and it was due three weeks ago. Everyone had to do it, but you didn’t.”

Me: “So, you do know you haven’t scheduled me in the last two months, right? I call every week.”

Manager: “Right, but this was due three weeks ago.”

Me: “How was I supposed to do it on the store computer if you never have me in the store? Why didn’t anyone tell me about it when I called to see if I was on the schedule?”

Manager: “Yeah, it was due three weeks ago.”

Me: “I didn’t know about it and you haven’t scheduled me in months. Why are you calling me now if it was due three weeks ago?”

Manager: “Well, you should just come in sometime and we’ll talk in person.”

(A couple days later, I go in to talk to him. After repeating that I should have known about something I had no way of knowing, I ask why I haven’t been scheduled.)

Manager: “Well, can you work midnight shifts?”

Me: “No. I take the bus and the last bus home for me leaves at nine.”

Manager: “Everyone has to work at least one midnight shift a week. You can get someone to give you a ride home.”

Me: “I’m not really comfortable with that. I don’t want to have to ask a different person for a ride home every night and have the entire store know where I live. I take the bus. When I was hired, I was told I did not have to work until midnight because of the bus schedule.”

Manager: “Everyone has to do it.”

(At this point I ask if several employees who have only ever worked one specific shift in the ten-plus years they had been there were now working midnights. He says no to each one.)

Manager: “Everyone has to work until midnight at least once a week, so you’ll just have to get a ride home or get a car.”

Me: “I would love to get a car, but I don’t have enough money for one. It’s hard to make money when you’re not on the schedule.”

Manager: “What about the people you live with?”

Me: “They have a newborn and jobs they wake up early for. I can’t ask them to pick me up. As for the people here, I am not comfortable asking perpetual strangers to take me home. When I was hired [Old Manager] promised I would not be forced to work beyond the bus schedule.”

Manager: “Well, if you won’t work midnights, I’ll have to fire you.”

Me: “Let me get this straight. You’re firing me for not having a car?”

Manager: “For refusing to work.”

Me: “I can’t work midnights. I was hired on the condition I would never have to work midnights. There are no buses past nine. I can work any other shift up to 8:50 pm. I want to work. I need a paycheck.”

Manager: “Okay, well, I’m just going to have to let you go. If you want, I can put a note in your file that this was a mutual decision so you can work for the company again in the future.”

Me: “Absolutely not. This is NOT a mutual agreement. You are FIRING me. And don’t worry. After my experience in the last year with you, I would never try to work for the company again. They clearly do not care about their employees!”

(I was friends with several of the shift managers and heard that over the next year, more than half the store had either quit because of his policies or had been fired for similarly flimsy reasons.)

[florida80]

When The Register Is Frozen, Let It Go
PHARMACY | WORKING | SEPTEMBER 24, 2015
(This happens on my second trip to the pharmacy in the same day. Note, I have plenty of experience as a cashier and actually own a small shop, but I generally pretend to be ignorant as a customer so as not to offend cashiers who do not know what they are doing.)

Pharmacy Tech: *referring to the Point of Sale machine* “It’s going to tell you to sign before you swipe your card.”

Machine: *displays words* “Please swipe card.”

Me: *swipes card without waiting for the screen I am supposed to sign*

Machine: *flashes rapidly between the screen I was supposed to sign and the total, then says* “Processing, please wait.”

Me: “Oops! I was supposed to sign first.”

Pharmacy Tech: “On my end, it says it is waiting for you.”

Me: *turning POS around so he can read it* “On my end, it says, “Processing, please wait.””

Pharmacy Tech: “Well, these are new. I have no idea what to do about that! Try hitting cancel.”

Me: *hits cancel*

(The pharmacy tech hits cancel about twenty times, which any cashier who has used a POS before should know causes the system to freeze. He calls to another employee behind him.)

Pharmacy Tech: “She swiped her card before signing. It’s frozen. What am I supposed to do now?”

Pharmacy Tech #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “I don’t know. Just shut it down and move to another register.”

(I left wondering how long it would take before they froze all three of their registers.)

[florida80]

Needs An Urgent Prescription Of Common Decency
PHARMACY | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
(My wife is a pharmacist for a large chain. She works overnight shifts. A woman comes in with a prescription from the ER. She notes that there are allergies on the patient’s record which may be present in the medication.)

Pharmacist: “There is a possible allergy with this; I’ll need to check the ingredients for this manufacturer.”

Customer: “You don’t need to check that. I’ve taken this before. I have twins at home and I’m in a hurry.”

Pharmacist: “What kind of reactions do you get?”

Customer: “Well, my tongue and throat swell up, and I get bad rashes on my feet.”

(What she is describing is anaphylaxis and Stevens-Johnson Syndrome respectively, both serious and potentially lethal reactions even on their own. Unsurprisingly my wife feels the patient’s assurance isn’t sufficient and decides to check the ingredients to be sure it won’t kill her. The customer is obviously pissed that she has to wait. Unfortunately the ingredients show the allergens are present.)

Pharmacist: “I’m sorry, there are [allergens] present in this medication and I can’t fill it. However, I will try to contact the ER doctor to get a substitute.”

(The patient begins to give death looks and muttering angrily. The medication in question is a narcotic and a controlled substance. The laws which control the filling of the medications require a hard copy, and cannot usually be taken over the phone at all. The only way around this is to use certain emergency protocols which require the doctor to get the prescription hard copy to the pharmacy in a very short time. This is always a risky business for pharmacists in case the hard copy doesn’t make it. Most of the time a pharmacy will just refuse to fill the script, which they are within their rights to do. Against the odds, my wife manages to get the ER doctor on the phone. He agrees to switch the medication to Percoset and says he will personally deliver the hard copy in a couple hours after his shift ends.)

Pharmacist: “We got the prescription changed to Percoset, and the doctor will bring—”

Customer: “I don’t want Tylenol.”

(The customer begins getting even louder and more surly and increases the death stare. My wife knows that this customer has just decided to be angry and will just escalate it from here.)

Pharmacist: “Please, just stop. I can’t fill something that might hurt you. I’ll contact the doctor again to try to get something else.”

(She gets a hold of him and they switch it to Oxycodone. The doctor will still bring the new prescription over. During the call another doctor calls in on the second line. My wife briefly switches over to speak to them before resuming the original call. This takes about a minute. At this point not only has the patient been saved from a possible allergic reaction, but a doctor who has been who-knows-how-long at the ER is going to make a special trip on his own time to make sure she can get her prescription.)

Pharmacist: “Okay, we’ve got it switched to Oxy—”

Customer: “I don’t want to hear what you have to say.”

(She holds up her hand like a mouth and does a movement which clearly indicates “shut up”. My wife is livid at this point, but tries to focus on what she’s doing. She goes to ring her up.)

Pharmacist: “I think it might be better if [coworker from the front end] rang you out.”

Customer: “I think it might be.”

(My wife stepped away and tried to calm down and get her focus back on her other work. While Coworker was ringing the customer out she could hear her complaining about her. One of her complaints was that she took a minute to talk to on the phone to the other doctor. The punchline to all this is that the patient was given some pills at the ER and could have gone straight home with the meds if she was really in such a hurry, and filled the prescription the next day.)

[florida80]

Not That Kind Of Store
PHARMACY | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 7, 2015
(I’m a female pharmacist finishing up business with a male customer:)

Customer: “Oh, I’d also like a woman; can you please get me one?”

Me: “I’m sorry, what do you mean?”

Customer: “I want a woman, the cheap kind!”

(He looks at me dead serious.)

Me: “I’m not quite sure I understand…”

Customer: *slower* “I want a woman! But it has to be the cheap kind.”

(I keep looking at him in complete disbelief.)

Customer: *sighs* “How hard can it be? My wife asked me to get her one box of woman or whatever they are called. Where do you keep it? I can get it myself if you tell me where I can find it.”

Me: “Oh… you must mean the multi-vitamin. Wait, I’ll get it for you.”

Customer: *yells after me* “It has to be the cheap kind!”

(We have two kinds of multi-vitamin pill intended for women and both are labeled WOMAN. Apparently that was what he wanted.)

[florida80]

This Joke Has Been Used
PHARMACY | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 7, 2015
(I overhear the following conversation in the pharmacy:)

Customer: “I’d, um, like some, er, suppositories, please. Sorry, but I’m not really sure which ones. They’re for my wife, who called out for me to get some when I was half-way out the door on an errand to do something else.”

Pharmacist: “Certainly, sir, let’s go and look for some. Here: would they be these?” *offering him a particular brand*

Customer: “Pff. Not sure. Could be; I know she suffers from the H word, but on the other hand…”

Pharmacist: “You can bring them back for a refund and replace them with the other kind.”

Customer: “What, even if…” *at this point he cracks up laughing* “Even if…” *and he’s laughing so hard he can’t say what he’s trying to say*

Pharmacist: *knowing exactly what he’s trying to say; it’s an old joke, but so funny she can’t help laughing herself* “…even if they’ve been used?”

(Both customer and pharmacist laughed like grade school children.)

[florida80]

And Don’t Watch ‘Final Destination’ Before Boarding Either
PHARMACY | WORKING | AUGUST 21, 2015
(I am waiting for my prescription and happen to overhear a conversation between a customer and cashier:)

Customer: “Oh, I’m going travelling round Europe.”

Cashier: “Oooh, have you ever seen the film Hostel?”

Customer: “No…”

Cashier: “Don’t watch it.”

[florida80]

In Need Of Some Dedication Medication
PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 17, 2015
(I work at a busy pharmacy; we usually look up patients by name, then confirm date of birth. A customer walks up.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m here to pick up medication.”

Me: “All righty, for who?”

Customer: “For my dad.”

Me: “Name?”

Customer: “John.”

Me: “Last name…”

Customer: “Smith.”

Me: “All right, and birthday?”

Customer: “John Smith!”

Me: “No, date of birth.”

Customer: “I don’t know; it’s my dad.”

Me: “Address?”

Customer: “Something, something, street…”

[florida80]

Systematic Failure
PHARMACY | WORKING | AUGUST 5, 2015
(I make a quick stop to pick up an over the counter allergy medication, and after a minute or two of choosing between two brands it’s finally my turn.)

Me: “I’ll take two boxes of the Claritin D, please.”

Tech: “Certainly. I just need your ID.”

(After a few minutes she still hasn’t given it back, and is looking confused.)

Me: “Um, is something wrong?”

Tech: “Well, the computer isn’t finding you in the system.”

Me: “Oh! I’ve never been here before. I’m not in the system.”

Tech: “Don’t worry, I’ll find you in it. This is your correct birth date?”

Me: “Yes, but I’ve never—”

Tech: “Don’t worry! I’ll find you!”

(This continues for TWELVE MINUTES before she goes to speak with the pharmacist, and I quickly cut in.)

Me: “I AM NOT IN THE SYSTEM. I have never been to this store before. You can’t look me up!”

Pharmacist: “…[Tech], you need to enter her in as a new patient, not try to look her up.”

(It took me almost twenty minutes to check out!)

[florida80]

Lying Is All Relative(s), Part 3
PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 5, 2015
(I’m in high school, and work at my father’s pharmacy during the summer. One day a woman who looks to be in her mid-twenties rushes up to my line, cutting several people. She dumps multiple boxes of prescription medication on the counter, as well as about $50 worth of make-up, hair dye, and jewelry.)

Customer: “I’m the owner’s daughter, so I get all this stuff for free, okay?”

Me: “Ma’am, please get to the back of the line.”

Customer: “For the love of God, just ring me up! I’m the owner’s daughter! I don’t have time to wait!”

Me: “You’re the owner’s daughter?”

Customer: “Yes! What are you, f****** deaf? Just f****** ring my stuff up so it won’t set off the alarm!”

Me: “Wow, that’s such a coincidence.”

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: *smiling widely* “I’m the owner’s daughter, too!”

(The customer stared at me for a second, then turned beet red and ran out of the store, leaving her items on the counter. She hasn’t been back since!)

[florida80]

A Legal Standing
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 6, 2015
(Just the pharmacist and I are working the late shift, around 2:00 am. at a popular 24-hour pharmacy. An elderly woman, who has a reputation for getting prescriptions early, hands me a script for painkillers.)

Elderly Customer: “Hi, I need this filled.”

Me: *for narcotics, our store requires we ask vague questions to help weed out fraudulence* “All righty, is this from today?”

Elderly Customer: “Yes, but I want it dated for three days ago.”

Me: “Forgive me?”

Elderly Customer: “Yes. You all cheated me out of my pills, so I had to wait three days for my refill. So you will date it three days early so that i can get it early from now on.”

(The pharmacist, a 65-year-old man who’s so close to retirement he’s not afraid of being fired, hears the conversation and comes over.)

Pharmacist: “Hello, I’m the pharmacist. Can I help you with something?”

Elderly Customer: “Yes. Your technician refuses to fill my prescription. I want you to fill it and date it for three days ago.”

Pharmacist: “No. It is against the law to do so. I will fill and date it for today.” *turns to leave*

Elderly Customer: “Hey, a**-hole! I’m not done with you!”

(At this point, the pharmacist turns slowly around. I am searching for cover.)

Elderly Customer: “You’re gonna fill my d*** pills for how I want! I’m the customer!”

Pharmacist: “What you are asking is so illegal, it isn’t even physically possible to do with our software.”

Elderly Customer: “It’s not illegal where I’m standing.”

(The elderly customer gives a big grin like she has won. The pharmacist proceeds to walk around the counter, out of the pharmacy, and stands next to the customer.)

Pharmacist: “Ehhh. Nope! It’s illegal over here, too. Good luck getting that filled, though.”

(He handed her the prescription, and she stormed away screaming curses.)

[florida80]

A Multidirectional Question
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 23, 2015
(This took place a few years ago when Mum and I were at a pharmacy. We are stocking up on some over-the-counter medications and witness this gem of a conversation between the busy pharmacist and another customer:)

Customer: *in a low voice, clearly embarrassed* “I, umm… need some medicine for the toilet.”

Pharmacist: “For diarrhea or constipation?”

Customer: *with a confused look on his face* “What does that mean?”

Pharmacist: “You wanna make it stop or make it go?”

[florida80]

Urine For A Shock
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 19, 2015
Customer: “Hey, do you guys sell drug tests?”

Me: “Yes! I’ll show you where they are.”

(I show him where the drug tests are, and he comes up to the pharmacy counter to pay for it.)

Customer: “Do you have a cup I could use?”

Me: “…Sure. Let me go get one.”

(I go grab one of the paper cups the pharmacy staff uses.)

Me: “Here you go!”

Customer: “Thanks! Where’s your bathroom?”

(I tell him where the restrooms out in the store are and he goes on his way. Several minutes later he walks back up to the counter and puts his cup on the counter.)

Customer: “So do I just stick the test in here?”

(I look in his cup. Yep. It’s full of pee.)

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Okay! Thanks!”

(Customer walked away. I frantically disinfected myself and the entire counter.)

[florida80]

Not Enough ‘G-Force’
PHARMACY | WORKING | JUNE 4, 2015
(I am calling my pharmacy regarding a mail order sent to me at college. It is routed through a call center rather than a local pharmacy.)

Employee: “May I please have the name the prescription is under?”

Me: “Gregory [Last Name].”

Employee: “I’m sorry, I’m not seeing that. Is there another name it might be under?”

Me: “Try ‘Greg’ instead of ‘Gregory.’ My doctor might have used that.”

Employee: “Is that Greg with one ‘G’ or two?”

Me: “One.”

Employee: “I’m still not seeing that in our system.”

Me: “You’re spelling my last name [spelling], correct?”

Employee: “Yes.”

Me: “And you’re spelling ‘Greg’ as G-R-E-G?”

Employee: “No, sir, we are spelling it with one ‘G.'”

Me: “That’s correct. There is only one ‘G’ at the end, not two.”

Employee: “So the ‘G’ is at the end, not the beginning?”

Me: “No, there’s one ‘G’ at the beginning and one G at the end.”

Employee: “So then there are two ‘G’s?”

Me: *giving up* “Yes, I suppose so.”

[florida80]

The Pranks Are Heating Up
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MAY 11, 2015
(My sister is a pharmacist. This happens to her boss while on duty. The phone rings at the beginning of the afternoon.)

Boss: “[Pharmacy], how may I help you?”

Child: “Do you have any thermometers?”

Boss: “Yes, we do sell some.”

Child: “WELL, YOU CAN STICK THEM UP YOUR A**! *hangs up*

(Her boss laughs at the prank call and tells her, and thinks nothing of it. Two hours later, the phone rings, and he’s the one answering it again.)

Boss: “[Pharmacy], how may I help you?”

Caller: “Oh, hello. So you’re a pharmacy?”

Boss: “Yes, we are [Pharmacy] from [Place]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Well, sorry to disturb you. I just went back home from work and forgot my cellphone at home. I just noticed my son used it to call this number, and I thought I called back to know who you were.”

Boss: “No problem, sir.”

Caller: “I apologize for the inconvenience, I will teach my son a lesson he will not forget.”

Boss: “Oh, no, no, no ! No need for it!”

Caller: “Why? He used my phone and bothered you while you were busy!”

Boss: “No, we just opened. We had no customers yet, and it wasn’t a problem at all. It was a short call. Nothing happened!”

Caller: *angrily* “What did he tell you?”

Boss: “Oh, it was just a small prank call.”

Caller: “OH, MY GOD, THAT LITTLE S***! And I just offered to buy him a video game! I’ll take it back; he doesn’t deserve it.”

Boss: “No, wait, no! I told you, don’t worry. It was nothing!”

Caller: “Yes, it was! I must teach him some people are working and that he f***ing needs to grow up!”

Boss: “But it was just a fun joke, you know? Nothing to worry about.”

Caller: “What did he tell you?”

Boss: “Well, er… He only asked if we had thermometers…”

Caller: “And…?”

Boss: “And… well… he said I could stick them up my a**.”

Caller: “WELL, I THINK IT’S ABOUT TIME YOU PULL THEM OUT NOW!” *hangs up*

(Her boss burst into laughter and told the whole staff about it. Whoever this was, it put them in a good mood for the rest of the day!)

[florida80]

Failing Medication
PHARMACY | WORKING | APRIL 28, 2015
(I’m trying to change to a pharmacy that’s closer to my place. I go up to the closest desk. It looks like they’ve just hired some new staff.)

Me: “Hi. I need to pick up my prescription, but I usually get it at a different place. Can I get it done here instead?”

Woman: “Over at the other desk. You’ll need to give them your information.”

Me: “Okay…”

(I go over to the other desk, only to be ignored by the trainees. The pharmacist tells one of them to help me. The same woman walks over.)

Woman: “So, I need your last name and first name.”

Me: “It’s [spelled out Last Name] and [spelled out First Name].”

Woman: “Oh, wait, I’m not in the system! Help!”

(She gets help getting in, and then gets my information again.)

Woman: “So, your first name is C-A-S-E-N-D-R-A?”

Me: “No. C-A-S-S-A-N-D-R-A.”

Woman: “….No ‘E’, two ‘S’?”

Me: “Yes.”

Woman: “And your address?”

Me: “[1-2-3-4] N-O-”

Woman: “Wait! Too fast! [1-2-2-3]?”

Me: *starting to doubt this place* “[1-2-3-4) N-O-”

Woman: “‘N’ as in Norma?”

Me: “…Yes. [Rest of address].”

Woman: “Phone number?”

Me: “YYY-ZZZ-AAAA”

Woman: “It’s not showing up.”

Me: *thinking I gave the wrong number* “What about YYY-WWW-AAAA?”

Woman: “No… Help!”

(The pharmacist comes over and clicks a button.)

Woman: “Phone number?”

Me: *looking up number to be sure* “YYY-ZZZ-AAAA.”

Woman: “Hey, it worked! And the location to transfer from?”

Me: “It’s [Location].”

Woman: “Oh, I don’t know that one… Wait, is it in [same location, different name]?”

Me: “Yes.”

Woman: “And the medication?”

Me: “It’s [Medication].”

Woman: *blank look*

Me: “…It’s a birth control pill.”

Woman: “OH! Oh, yes, that!”

Me: “When can I get it?”

Woman: “What?”

Me: “I usually get it in three month packs. I’m on my last month. When can I get it?”

Woman: “Well, we need to call it in…. You get it as three month doses?”

Me: “Yeah. I just opened my last pack. I need another three months worth. When can I get it?”

Woman: “Try… later.”

Me: “Thanks.”

(Here’s hoping I get it!)

[florida80]

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 9
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 31, 2015
(I’m a cashier working the closing shift one night, and as with many places we are not allowed to close out our drawers until all the customers in the store have been checked out and left. However we always lock the doors five minutes before closing to deter anyone else from entering. It is time for me to lock the doors and there is still one customer left in the store, so I go to lock the doors so that no one else can come in. As I am locking up a woman runs up to the doors.)

Customer: “Oh, no; are you guys closing?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we are. I am sorry but you will have to come back tomorrow or you can head over to our 24-hour facility.”

Customer: “Oh, please, I really only need some laundry detergent.”

(I think for a second and knowing that there is still another customer inside I won’t be able to close up anyway so I decide to be charitable.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am since you really only need one item I can let you run and grab it real quick.”

Customer: “Oh, thank you so much.”

(I let her in and promptly close and lock the doors. I turn off the automatic doors and close and lock them. I turn around just in time to see the woman grab a shopping cart and head to the back of the store. I don’t think anything of it at first; I’ve seen people get a shopping carts for a pack of pencils. A few seconds later my manager comes running up to the front.)

Manager: “When did that other woman get here?”

Me: “She came up as I was just about to lock the doors. She said she just had to grab some laundry detergent and then she would be done.”

Manager: “Yeah, well, she’s back there right now just browsing through the shelves. She’s not even near the laundry detergent yet.”

Me: “Please tell me you are joking! This is seriously what I get for trying to be nice?!”

Manager: “Yeah, well, I’m about to follow her around until she gets the hint.”

(My manager turns around and heads in the direction the woman went. The other person that was already inside comes and checks out and leaves. I start cleaning everything up, and before I know it 15 minutes have gone by. All the sudden all the store lights except for the front area lights go out. My manager comes back up front.)

Manager: “I have literally been following this woman around pretty much just standing right next to her and she’s just going as slow as ever. So I turned the lights out. She should be up here soon to check out.”

(Another 20 minutes go by before the woman comes up to the register, her cart is completely full of various items, yet she has no laundry detergent.)

Customer: “I noticed your lights went out at the back of the store. Are you guys closing?”

Me: “…Umm, yes, ma’am. We are…”

Customer: “I wish I would have known. I figured you were when the lights went off so I hurried to finish my shopping. I still didn’t quite finish so I will just have to come back tomorrow for the rest.”

(I pretty much just don’t say anything else except for her total and then walk her out of the store and lock up. It is now an hour after we are supposed to close. The topping on the cake, the woman came back the very next night, once again as I was locking up.)

Customer: “Oh, are you guys closing?”

Me: “Yes, we are. You’ll have to come back tomorrow.”

Customer: “Please, all I need is some toilet paper. I won’t be but a few seconds.”

(I actually start to laugh and just close the doors on her and lock them right in front of her. She starts yelling at me but I just turned around and went inside to close out my drawer. My manager is at the front with me.)

Manager: “What the heck is that yelling?”

Me: “Same woman from last night wanted back in just for some toilet paper. Swore she would only be a second. I started laughing and locked her out.”

Manager: “I’m glad it was you and not me; I probably would have been less polite!”

[florida80]

Has An Asian Dissuasion
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 28, 2015
(I work as an intern pharmacist at a pharmacy. Even though I’m still in school, I’m comfortable enough to consult patients on common prescriptions. A woman comes up to pick up some antibiotics and my supervising pharmacist asks me to consult with her on the medication. I am Asian, raised speaking Chinese, but born in Canada and moved to California when I was young, so I speak English and Chinese fluently.)

Woman: “Hi, I’m picking up for [Woman].”

(I find the prescription, and bring it to the counter.)

Me: “All right, I have it here. Have you ever taken this medication before?”

Woman: *screaming behind me at the pharmacist, who is white* “CAN I HAVE YOU HELP ME?”

Me: “Ma’am, I can help you.”

Woman: *still waving at the pharmacist*

(Giving up, I walk behind the counter, and tell my pharmacist what happened. She moves up to take care of the woman. I stay behind the counter, but I can still hear their conversation.)

Pharmacist: “How can I help you?”

Woman: “I’m just picking up my medication.”

(My pharmacist finishes the consultation as usual. When she finishes…)

Woman: *speaking at normal volume* “I don’t know why you have him back there. How do you know if he can even speak English?”

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, he speaks English fluently. He is a current pharmacy student.”

Woman: “But he’s Chinese. No one could understand his English.”

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, his English is fine. Just a good as mine.”

Woman: “I don’t think you should have him here…”

(She walks out like nothing happened. My pharmacist walks back behind the counter.)

Me: “What was she talking about?”

Pharmacist: “I don’t know. I guess she’s either new to the city or she never noticed how many Chinese people are in San Francisco.”

[florida80]

Prescribe Me Whatever They’re Having!
PHARMACY | WORKING | MARCH 14, 2015
(I am a home health aide picking up a prescription for my client.)

Me: “Hello, I’m picking up a prescription for [Client].”

Pharmacist: “All right, and what is the date of birth?”

Me: “It’s [birth date].” *note that I’m twenties and my client is in her sixties*

Pharmacist: “So, is this you?”

Me: “What do you think?”

[florida80]

Needs To Prescribe Themselves Some Attentiveness
PHARMACY | WORKING | FEBRUARY 28, 2015
(I’ve been going to the same chain drugstore for a while now. Having moved and been diagnosed with diabetes, taking medication has become a fairly standard part of my life. I am picking some prescriptions when I am told that they can’t find one I had refilled the night before.)

Clerk: “Huh, that’s strange. It says it was filled this morning by [Pharmacist] but I can’t find it.”

Me: “Well, I really kinda need it. It’s a diabetic medication and I really can’t go skipping a day.”

(The clerk tells me if I’m willing to wait 20 minutes that they can refill it. I pay for my other medications and he bags them.)

Clerk: “Okay, that’s all done if you’ll just step to the side at that window they’ll let you know when it’s ready.”

(I am confused but do as he says as he makes a motion to move my bag of prescriptions to wait with me. The woman behind me, a snobby soccer mom if there was one, immediately steps up as I edge away from the counter. She states her name loudly and starts complaining about how long she’s had to wait and how they really need more staff. After 15 minutes, the people at the other counter confirm what I need and have me sit down. When my prescription is ready I am once again called to the clerk to pay for the last one.)

Clerk: “Okay and your total is [total]. Would you like to add this to your other bag?”

(He offers the prescription towards me and I give him a hard look.)

Me: “You can put it in with the rest of my medications you have.”

Clerk: “Ma’am, I already gave you your medications.”

(I look at him and gesture towards my t-shirt, jeans and non-existent purse.)

Me: “And where exactly do you think I have them? You kept my medications. You never handed them to me.”

Clerk: “You took your prescriptions. I bagged them and handed them to you.”

Me: “You did bag them, and then you told me to move to the other window. You never handed them to me.”

(It was at this time one of the actual pharmacists stepped over.)

Pharmacist: “Ma’am. Is there something wrong?”

Me: “Yes. Your clerk is trying to claim that I have given me my meds but I never got them. I have the one.” *I hold up the one he just rang* “But I don’t know what he did with the other three.”

(The clerk has now given up and is completely ignoring me, ringing up other customers behind me.)

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, would you like me to call a manager?”

Me: “Yes, please do. I want you to watch the security footage and find out where my medications went.”

(I am asked to wait and within a minute a manager shows up. He’s one I’ve dealt with before and have gotten fairly friendly with.)

Manager: “Don’t worry, [My Name]. We’ll get this all sorted out.”

Me: “You know I hadn’t thought about it till now, but the girl behind me was named [Name]. You may need to call her.”

(Another 30 minutes and four missing refills later, it was discovered that the clerk had indeed bagged my medication, and then proceeded to bag the snobby lady’s meds on top of mine and hand her the entire bag. I haven’t seen that clerk at that store since.)

[florida80]

Medicated And Dedicated
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 26, 2015
(It has been a quiet day, and I happen to overhear this conversation between my coworker and the customer. I decided to intervene at one point.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to buy a packet of [Medication].”

Coworker: “Sure, what packet size did you want? We have 84, or 168.”

Customer: “Don’t you have the smaller pack? The 28 pack?”

Coworker: “Sorry, I don’t think we do. I’ll go check the back if we might have stock.”

(Whilst my coworker went to the back to check, I decide to converse with the customer to keep the sale.)

Me: “I’m sorry that we don’t have the smaller pack in stock, but the larger packs do work out cheaper than the small pack in the long run. Especially if you need to take them long term.”

Customer: *angrily* “I know that! I’d prefer getting the small pack so I know what I’m taking! And I do need to watch what I spend to be able to put food on my plate each month.”

(My coworker returns.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry but we didn’t have any small packs at the back.”

Customer: *in a huff* “Oh fine, I’ll just take the 84s.”

(While my coworker is processing the sale:)

Customer: “Oh, and these as well.”

(She placed three chocolate bars on the counter.)

[florida80]

Pleasantness Is The Best Medicine
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 22, 2015
(I’m at the pharmacy and they have been having issues with my medication: not in yet, not the right amount, or not in stock. Today it is a misread order, and I did not get the amount I am supposed to, so they ask if I can come back on Monday.)

Pharmacist: “Haven’t you been here almost every day for one thing or another?”

Me: “All but Friday.”

Pharmacist: “I’m sorry we keep having to have you come back in.”

Me: “That’s okay.”

Pharmacist: “And you’re still so nice about it?”

Me: “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Pharmacist: *shakes my hand* “Bless you.”

Me: “Anyone who works behind a counter deserves respect until they show me otherwise.”

Pharmacist: “Can you teach our other customers that?”

Me: “I wish I could.”

[florida80]

I’m Over Your Hangover
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 20, 2015
(I’m another customer waiting for my prescription. A young hungover male customer is talking to the pharmacy staff. She is asking him some questions to be sure he’s not drug seeking.)

Customer: “I need some strong headache stuff.”

Pharmacist: “Okay sir, just a couple of questions. Are you allergic to anything?”

Customer: “No.”

Pharmacist: “Okay, are you taking any other medications?”

Customer: *annoyed sigh* “NO! D*** it, I had too much to drink last night and my head f****** hurts; just give me the f***** tablets.”

(I hadn’t noticed the head pharmacist hovering till the man got aggravated. He is a 6 foot tall, usually quietly spoken, older man.)

Head Pharmacist: “Sir, there is absolutely no need to swear at [Pharmacist]. She has to ask these questions for your safety.” *hands over some headache tablets* “Here you go, sir.”

Customer: “Whatever.”

(He pays and leaves. The pharmacist turns to her coworker.)

Pharmacist: “I should’ve given him the strongest laxatives we have.”

(I couldn’t help but giggle.)

[florida80]

Ensuring A Lack Of Insuring
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 19, 2015
Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I would like to pick up my prescription.”

Me: “Okay, what is your last name?”

Customer: “[Name].”

Me: “I notice that we have not run insurance on this. Let me look into that.”

(I pull her up on the computer and notice we do not have any insurance information on file.)

Me: “We do not have insurance on file for you. Do you have insurance you would like us to bill?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(Usually the customer gets a card out so I give her some time, but she just stares at me waiting, so I ask:)

Me: “Do you have the card with you?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Right now this costs $89.75, but your insurance should bring that down. We will need the insurance information located on your card to bill them. Would you like some time to go get it?”

Customer: “It has never cost more than $5 before.”

Me: “Okay, hold on.”

(I look to see if we have another file for her that may have her insurance listed but none come up.)

Me: “I’m sorry we don’t have your insurance information. Have you filled with us or at another location? Or could it be under a different last name?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: *frustrated at this point* “Okay, then, there are a few options. You can find your insurance card and we can run it through, or you can pay the $89.75 and come back later with the insurance card for a refund. We have seven days to do a refund in store. After that we would have to send it to corporate and it could take several weeks.”

Customer: “”But it has never cost more than $5.”

Me: “I understand. I am sure the price will go down as soon as we get your insurance information. Would you like to go get your card?”

Customer: “I don’t have a card. I’ve never had a problem before.”

Me: “Where did you get your prescription last?”

Customer: “[Different pharmacy].”

Me: “We are not connected with them and cannot access their files.” *I give her the two options again*

Customer: “This is ridiculous; it should only be $5! You should have my insurance!”

Me: “Actually it is your responsibility to carry your insurance card. Most people carry them in their wallet.”

Customer: *walks away*

Coworker: “She must think your name tag says magician not technician.”

[florida80]

Calling For Backup Without Actually Calling For Backup
PHARMACY | WORKING | FEBRUARY 13, 2015
(I have a stuttering problem that is often under control, except for when I have to talk for an extended period of time. Being put on register, repeating the same phrases, makes this stutter worse and I begin to flub my words, or say the wrong phrases. I am assigned to register duty for my entire shift, even though I normally work stock. We have a code we use over the intercom to request for backup if the lines get too long.)

Me: *going to the speaker so I can call for backup* “Next customer, please! Wow…”

(I immediately catch myself as to what I have just said, and start laughing INTO the speaker while paging for backup.)

Coworker & Manager: *both come up to the register to see me and several customers on the line laughing; they themselves are laughing as well*

Me: “Can you tell I’ve been up here for too long?”

[florida80]

The Test Is Inconclusive
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 6, 2015
(I work as a headmaster and one day drive to the local mall during lunch. One of the teachers asks to ride with me as she has an errand to run. When we get to the mall we split up, and then we meet up at the car a little later to go back to the school. The teacher is nine months pregnant when this happens.)

Teacher: *suddenly laughs, apparently for no reason*

Me: “What?”

Teacher: “I just realized why the shop assistant at the chemist was looking at me as if I am completely nuts!”

Me: “Why?”

Teacher: “Well, one of the girls in my class was really worried that she might be pregnant, and I offered to get a pregnancy test for her. So there I came, waddling in with my huge belly, and I asked where the pregnancy tests were. The look the guy gave me was priceless!”

[florida80]

Can’t Stretch To Accommodate This Call
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 28, 2015
Customer: “Hi, I needed to ask you some questions about condoms.”

Me: “Okay, go ahead.”

Customer: “Well, you see I have a problem. All the condoms seem to be too small and are very tight.”

Me: “Okay, well they do make larger condoms such as Trojan Magnums.”

Customer: “Well, I’ve tried those and even those are too small for me.”

Me: “Well, I’ve never really heard of that, since condoms are designed to be very stretchy.”

Customer: “I’ve just tried all sorts of condoms. What I really need is for you to help me try on the condom.”

Me: *click*

[florida80]

Pretty In Pink-Orange
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 24, 2015
(Last year I dyed my hair bright red, and by October it was starting to fade out to a pink-orange. I was used to getting a lot of comments about my hair and most were positive so I was taken by surprise when I was ringing up an older customer a few days before Halloween.)

Husband: “Is that your real hair?”

Me: “Yes. it is.”

Husband: “Well. I like it. It’s nice. You look very pretty.”

Me: “Thank you.”

(His wife looks at him with a face that says she doesn’t appreciate him complimenting me.)

Husband: *to his wife* “Well, she’s Halloween pretty, anyway.”

Me: “…here’s your receipt. Have a nice night…”

(My manager and I still haven’t figured out if I should take that as a compliment or insult, yet.)

[florida80]

Methadone And Done
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 30, 2014
(I work behind the chemist counter and a lot of addicts come in to get their methadone. This one turns up five minutes before closing.)

Customer: “Here you go.” *hands over her prescription*

Me: “Thanks, I’ll just go get the pharmacist for you.”

(Whilst she’s waiting she notices the slides we used to detach our counter-caches which store all of the notes.)

Customer: “What are those?”

Colleague: “Those get the counter-caches off for us, for cashing up.”

(The customer picks one up and starts playing with it.)

Me: “The pharmacist will be right out.”

Customer: “No problem. In the meantime I’d like one of these.” *hands me the slide for the counter-caches*

Me: *thinking she’s joking* “Um, sorry, I don’t think that’s allowed.”

Customer: “Don’t laugh at me! GIVE ME THE F****** COUNTER THING!”

(It escalated from there. She refused to leave the shop or take her methadone, and we had to call the police and stand there whilst she trashed the store. We ended up staying an hour late to clean it all up. The pharmacist rang her doctor and asked for her to be sent somewhere else for her methadone and possibly be given a stronger dose.)

[florida80]

Pretty In Pink-Orange
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 24, 2015
(Last year I dyed my hair bright red, and by October it was starting to fade out to a pink-orange. I was used to getting a lot of comments about my hair and most were positive so I was taken by surprise when I was ringing up an older customer a few days before Halloween.)

Husband: “Is that your real hair?”

Me: “Yes. it is.”

Husband: “Well. I like it. It’s nice. You look very pretty.”

Me: “Thank you.”

(His wife looks at him with a face that says she doesn’t appreciate him complimenting me.)

Husband: *to his wife* “Well, she’s Halloween pretty, anyway.”

Me: “…here’s your receipt. Have a nice night…”

(My manager and I still haven’t figured out if I should take that as a compliment or insult, yet.)

[florida80]

Methadone And Done
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 30, 2014
(I work behind the chemist counter and a lot of addicts come in to get their methadone. This one turns up five minutes before closing.)

Customer: “Here you go.” *hands over her prescription*

Me: “Thanks, I’ll just go get the pharmacist for you.”

(Whilst she’s waiting she notices the slides we used to detach our counter-caches which store all of the notes.)

Customer: “What are those?”

Colleague: “Those get the counter-caches off for us, for cashing up.”

(The customer picks one up and starts playing with it.)

Me: “The pharmacist will be right out.”

Customer: “No problem. In the meantime I’d like one of these.” *hands me the slide for the counter-caches*

Me: *thinking she’s joking* “Um, sorry, I don’t think that’s allowed.”

Customer: “Don’t laugh at me! GIVE ME THE F****** COUNTER THING!”

(It escalated from there. She refused to leave the shop or take her methadone, and we had to call the police and stand there whilst she trashed the store. We ended up staying an hour late to clean it all up. The pharmacist rang her doctor and asked for her to be sent somewhere else for her methadone and possibly be given a stronger dose.)

[florida80]

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 2
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 30, 2014
Customer: “I’m allergic to tree pollen, but I don’t have hay fever, so don’t try to sell me any hay-fever medication!”

New Colleague: “Sir, an allergy to tree pollen is hay fever. If you take these it will help.”

Customer: “It say’s trainee on your badge. You don’t know what you’re talking about! I’d like to speak to a more senior member of staff!”

(The new colleague fetches me. I am 20 years younger than my colleague.)

Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

Customer: “I asked to speak to a senior member of staff! Why are you getting involved?!”

Me: “As I’ve been here the longest. I am more than capable of answering any problems you may have.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! You’re a child. You can’t possibly be able to deal with the responsibility! Get me someone more senior!”

(I go and get the pharmacist who has been listening to the whole thing.)

Customer: “Finally, an adult who knows what they’re doing! How can you leave a child in charge of your chemist counter?”

Pharmacist: “Well, sir, [My Name] has passed all of her courses with the highest mark we’ve ever seen in this store, so I’m perfectly happy to let her deal with any queries, but as I’m here – what’s the problem?

Customer: *looking sheepish* “I’m allergic to tree pollen and want something for it.”

Pharmacist: “That’s called hay fever; try an antihistamine.”

[florida80]

Needs A Prescription Of Common Sense
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 3, 2014
(I work in the mail order branch of a popular pharmacy chain. On my way to work I stop by a local retail branch of the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. I happen to be wearing a company t-shirt which, while having the variant of the company name used by the mail order branch, is nothing at all like the uniforms worn by retail employees nor is it at all professional-looking. A woman comes up next to me while I’m waiting at the pharmacy counter.)

Customer: “Excuse me, where are allergy medicines?”

Me: *looking around* “Over there, I think.”

Customer: “What, don’t you know where things are in your own store?”

Me: “Oh, I don’t work here. I actually work at [Mail Order Branch] on [Road].”

Customer: “Oh, ok. So, which kind is safest for my son to use?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “Which allergy medicine is safest for my son? He’s ten.”

Me: “You would really have to ask a pharmacist.”

Customer: “But you said you work for [Company].”

Me: “I just package orders. I’m not a pharmacist.”

Customer: “So why are you at the pharmacy counter?”

Me: “I’m picking up a prescription…”

Customer: “So you can stand here but you can’t help a customer?”

(The pharmacy tech tells me my prescription is ready. I get it and pay, all while the woman stares at me. As I walk away the tech notices the woman standing behind me.)

Pharmacy Tech: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Apparently no one else around here can!”

[florida80]

Pest Control Out Of Control
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 26, 2014
(I work at a local pharmacy.)

Customer: “I need to buy some Raid.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, let’s go look at the display.”

(We walked to the display, and I began showing her various items.)

Me: “Here’s something for ants—”

Customer: “No, I don’t need that.”

Me: “Okay. Um, here’s something for roaches.”

Customer: “No, I don’t have roaches.”

Me: “Do you have hornets or wasps or something?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Ma’am, can you tell me a little more about what, exactly, you need the Raid for?”

Customer: “My son has lice.”

Me: “Oh! Oh, God. No, ma’am, you don’t want Raid. You want Rid. Please don’t spray Raid on your son’s head!”

[florida80]

Dolled Up And Priced Down
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 21, 2014
(I work at a small mom and pop pharmacy. We are having a buy-one-get-one sale on some collectible dolls. A middle-aged female customer is browsing the collectibles. There are six different dolls, each a different color. I happen to be at the counter where they are displayed.)

Me: “Hello, I see you are interested in these dolls.”

Customer: “Yes, but I’m unsure which one to get.”

Me: “Well, we are having a sale on them.”

Customer: “I see.”

Me: “Well, just inform me which ones you decide on.”

Customer: *eyes light up* “I can get more than one!?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “How much for one?”

Me: “$14.50.”

(The customer starts counting on her fingers, then sighs.)

Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I only have enough money for three of them.”

(I am confused.)

Customer: “Even with your sale, I would only get be able to get four.”

(I figure out what is the misunderstanding in her logic.)

Me: “How about this, you buy three and I’ll give you the other three on the house?”

Customer: “You will won’t you get in trouble for that?”

Me: “I won’t tell if you won’t tell.”

(I got her dolls and rang her up. She kinda skipped out of the store.)

[florida80]

Automated And Medicated
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 20, 2014
(We are the busiest pharmacy in the area, and this day is no exception. To make matters worse, we are short-staffed and our delivery truck is several hours late. I am running the drive-thru at about 6 pm, which is about 10 cars deep.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m here to pick up a prescription for [Name].”

Me: “It looks like we were out of stock of that medication, but let me check to see if it arrived on the truck.”

(I check the delivery record and we did receive the medication. However, because none of the boxes are put up, and it is the middle of the evening rush, we won’t be able to fill the order for a few hours.)

Me: “Ma’am, we did receive the medication on the truck, but we haven’t had a chance to unload the boxes yet, so if you would like to check back this evening…”

Customer: “I was told it would be ready this afternoon!”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am. Normally we would have it ready then but our truck just arrived less than an hour ago and we haven’t been able to put away the medication yet.”

Customer: “Well, someone should have called me to tell me it wasn’t ready! I drove all the way from [20 minutes away] to get my medicine and it’s not even ready!”

Me: “Are you signed up for our automated calls and text messages?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “…and you got a call or text telling you your prescription was ready?”

Customer: “Well… no…”

Me: “…”

(The customer gave me a dirty look as she angrily drove away.)

[florida80]

Their Attitude Stinks
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 14, 2014
(An order comes to my pharmacy for a well-known antibiotic. This antibiotic is known to smell exactly like rotten eggs, so most of us just hold our breath while we count it and try not to think about it too much. We dispense it to a woman who is picking it up for her teenage son. Everything is normal and she leaves with the prescription, but about 10 minutes later she comes stomping back into the pharmacy, pretty much shoves the person that I am currently helping out of the way, and throws the bottle of medication on the counter.)

Customer: “I want to speak to your manager right now! You guys gave me rotten medication!”

Me: “Really? Let me look at the expiration date on your bottle. Normally we don’t keep anything that has one less than a year away.”

(I look at the bottle and see that the pharmacist wrote a date of over a year away, and I go over to our stock bottle and check and the numbers correspond with each other.)

Me: “Hmm. Well, ma’am, it doesn’t look like this medication is expired but I will have the phar—”

Customer: “You are just lying! I mean, come on and open that bottle! It smells totally rotten! I can’t believe that you would ever give someone bad medication! My son is very very ill!”

Me: “Oh, that’s just because the active chemical that is in this medication has a bad smell. Trust me, I wish there was something that we could do about it back here, too. Most of us hold our breath while we count it.”

Customer: “Stop ****** lying to me. You just don’t want to admit you did something wrong! I will have your job for this, b****!

(At this point the pharmacist who has been listening the whole time walks over.)

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, while I don’t like the fact that you are calling my staff names like that I will let you know two things. One is, certain chemicals have a bad smell. It’s just a fact of life. So, while I know that smell is unpleasant, it’s just one of those side effects that come with being able to take medications that will help your sick son. I assure you it’s supposed to smell that bad. If it didn’t, it wouldn’t work right. Two, since you don’t seem to want to listen to my employees and call them awful names, this will be the last time that you or any members of your family can shop or fill any type of medication here. Maybe in the future you can learn how to treat people the way you want to be treated.”

(The woman proceeded to turn bright red with embarrassment and tried to apologize, but my boss wouldn’t hear it. That was almost two years ago and he still will not allow her or her family to fill their prescriptions at his pharmacy.)

[florida80]

Allergic Overreaction
PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 27, 2014
(I work at a large chemist’s shop in North Yorkshire. I am about halfway through my shift when a woman comes running into the shop and up to the register. She is scratching herself really fast and making weird faces.)

Me: “Good morning, ma’am. How can I help you?”

Customer: “ALLERGIC REACTION!”

Me: “I’m sorry…?”

Customer: “ALLERGIC REACTION!”

Me: “Okay… what about it?”

Customer: “ARE YOU STUPID OR WHAT? I NEED MEDICINE! ALLERGIC REACTION!”

(I was quite alarmed by this point and other customers in the shop were starting to stare.)

Me: “Right, what caused your reaction? Is it animal related, or—”

Customer: *scratching like mad* “I DON’T KNOW! ALLERGIC REACTION!”

Me: “Yes, but to give you the correct medication we need to know what caused your reaction. What—”

Customer: “I DON’T F****** KNOW WHAT CAUSED IT! ALLERGIC REACTION! GIVE ME SOMETHING TO MAKE IT STOP ITCHING!”

Me: “But, ma’am…”

(The customer was now running around the store pulling items from the shelves before throwing them to the ground.)

Customer: “WHERE IS THE F****** ALLERGIC REACTION MEDICINE? I NEED IT NOW!”

(The manager, hearing the commotion, runs out from the back room.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I NEED MEDICATION FOR AN ALLERGIC REACTION AND THIS F****** S*** WON’T GIVE ME IT!”

Manager: “What caused your reaction, ma’am?”

Customer: “I. DON’T. F******. KNOW!”

Manager: “In that case we can’t help you. Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Customer: “F*** YOU! WHEN I DIE I’M GONNA COME GET YOU FIRED!”

(The customer runs out of the store screaming ‘ALLERGIC REACTION!’)

[florida80]

No Follicular Coupon Is A Folly
PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 21, 2014
(A man comes up to the pharmacy registers to purchase a bottle of hair growth product. These items come with coupons attached to the box so customers receive instant savings.)

Customer: “I’d like to purchase this, and I have a coupon for it.”

Me: “Excellent. I’ll ring this up for you.”

Customer: “I also have two coupons from previous boxes that I forgot to use before but I don’t have them with me. You can just take the ten dollars off my purchase now, though.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but unfortunately I can only use one coupon per purchase of this item as it says here at the bottom of the coupon.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t get to use them before so I would like to use them now.”

Me: “So you would like me to give you a discount for coupons that you do not currently have with you today?”

Customer: “Yes. I don’t see what the problem is.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that’s not the way it works.”

Customer: “Well what do you expect me to do with the coupons, then?”

Me: “Give them to your friends or relatives?”

Customer: “They won’t use them. They have hair!”

[florida80]

Hopefully His First Name Isn’t John
PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 13, 2014
(I work in a well-known national chain pharmacy. The particular store that I work in provides medicine to at least half of our well-sized county, so we stay rather busy and have a lot of customers. This exchange happens far more often than it really should:)

Customer: “I’m here to pick up a prescription.”

Me: “All right, what’s the name?”

Customer: “Johnson.” *or some other common last name*

Me: “Okay, and the first name?”

Customer: “There’s more than one?!”

Me: “…”

[florida80]

A Thought For Your Pennies
PHARMACY | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 24, 2014
(I’m a pharmacy tech working the drive thru. An older customer pulls up, and we go through getting her prescriptions.)

Me: “Okay, your total will be $67.29.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(I go and grab her prescriptions from our waiting bin and come back to finish the transaction.)

Customer: “Was that $68?”

Me: “$67.29.”

Customer: “$67.34?”

Me: *now trying to not laugh* “$67.29”

Customer: “Oh, 29.”

(I looked back at my pharmacist and he’s trying to not crack up while in view of the customer. I finish the transaction and close the window.)

Pharmacist: “Where on earth did she get 34 from?!”

[florida80]

Countering Those At The Counter
PHARMACY | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 21, 2014
(I’m in line at the pharmacy. It’s been a long day, and I just want to pick up my prescription and go home. The customer in front of me has a basket full of groceries.)

Customer: “I need to pick up my medicine! And I want to pay for my groceries here. I only have six things.”

Pharmacist: “Sure, let me get those for you.”

(The customer puts way more than six grocery items on the counter. I am beyond irritated at this point since she’s making me wait. As the pharmacist scans the groceries, however, I decide not to let it get to me. The wait isn’t that much longer, and I’m next in line anyway.)

Pharmacist: “… and there you go. You’re all set. Have a nice evening!”

Customer: “You too.”

(The customer turns to go and notices me standing in line behind her.)

Customer: *to me* “Excuse me.”

Me: “Oh, it’s no problem—”

Customer: “I SAID, EXCUSE ME. THE SIGN SAYS YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO WAIT FOR THE PHARMACIST, NOT CROWD AROUND THE PEOPLE AT THE COUNTER. YOU ARE IN MY WAY!”

(She grabs her stuff and storms off in a huff, leaving both me and the pharmacist speechless.)

[florida80]

The High Point Of My Night
PHARMACY, RETAIL | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 9, 2014
(I work as a cashier and am finally at the end of a long, frustrating split-shift. About 10 minutes to closing a group of guys in their early 20s come in and head straight for the confection aisle. They seem to be having a hard time deciding, and become panicked when my supervisor makes the closing announcement. They shove their candy, chips, and pop into the arms of one guy, and push him toward the cash. They leave the store, leaving their friend to pay. He places the items very slowly on the counter, blinking with confusion a number of times, swaying a little on his feet. I ring his items through.)

Me: “That’s $14.59. How will you be paying?”

Customer: “Uh… debit?”

(He slowly pulls out his wallet and fumbles for his card. He finally places it in the debit machine, and then stares at it, unmoving. The machine times-out, so I reset it. He manages, with some difficulty to make it through the rest of the transaction. When I place his bag in front of him, he looks confused.)

Customer: “Is this mine?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Customer: “These are the things I bought?”

Me: “Uh… yes. Are you all right?”

Customer: “Huh? Oh, yeah, don’t mind me, I’m just really fried.”

(He pulls a 2 dollar coin out of his pocket and puts it on the counter.)

Customer: “Don’t tell; my parents know the owner.”

(He left, marveling at the automatic doors as he did. He has been back to the store a number of times, in the same state, and makes my day whenever he shows up.)

[florida80]

Not Good For Your Blood Pressure
PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 31, 2014
(The pharmacy that I work at has a very standard closing time of 7:00 pm. We’ve had this for years, much longer than I’ve worked there. If a customer comes in around 6:58 or so they usually purchase their items quickly and leave. This customer comes in at 6:59.)

Customer: “Whoo! Made it in the knick of time!”

Me: “You certainly did! You picking up a prescription today?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s [Name].”

(The transaction goes smoothly and he heads for the door. It’s 7:01 pm and he turns and goes to the blood pressure machine which usually takes a couple minutes to finish the measurement. My boss tells me to turn the lights off because we’re technically closed.)

Customer: “Hey! Can you turn the lights back on? I can’t see my reading!”

Me: “The display is LED; you don’t need the lights on, sir.”

[florida80]

Those Who Can’t Be The Easter Bunny, Teach
PHARMACY | RELATED | AUGUST 13, 2014
(I am checking out a woman and her young daughter while I overhear their conversation.)

Daughter: “Mom, can I be a teacher when I grow up?”

Mother: “You can be whatever you want when you grow up sweetie.”

Daughter: “Can I be the Easter Bunny?”

Mother: “No… you can’t be the Easter Bunny.”

[florida80]

A Spoonful Of Violence Helps The Medicine Go Down
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 15, 2014
(I am on quite a few prescription medicines, one of which costs $170. I am picking up four refills.)

Pharmacy Clerk: “This one is $1.17. The second is $7.79. And the third is…”

(He trails off and takes a few steps back from the counter separating us.)

Pharmacy Clerk: “Uh… do you know how much this costs?”

Me: “If it’s the [Brand Name Medicine], then it will be about $170.”

(He looks relieved and returns to the register.)

Pharmacy Clerk: “Sorry. On my first week on the job, a customer assaulted me after hearing the price of his medicine.”

[florida80]

You Are Eavesdropping On I
PHARMACY | RELATED | JULY 11, 2014
(I’m out with my parents, running some errands. During one stop, my dad picks up a prescription while my mom and I wait in the car, since it’ll be quick. She cracks the windows, though, since it’s warm. Two women exit the store.)

Woman #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Now, this is just between you and I…”

(She continues talking unaware as Mom sighs dramatically.)

Mom: “People misuse ‘I’ and ‘me’ so often. It’s so annoying!”

Me: “So is eavesdropping…”

[florida80]

Looking For A Needle In A Haystack Of Stupid
PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 25, 2014
(I’m in the pharmacy picking up my prescription for insulin.)

Pharmacy Tech: “We are currently out of the insulin pens, so we’ve substituted a bottle of insulin that you can use until we get the pens back in stock in a few days.”

Me: “That’s fine, but I don’t have any syringes at home any more so I’ll need to buy some.”

Pharmacy Tech: “You’ll need to get a doctor to send us a prescription for the syringes.”

Me: “So, you are saying you don’t have the insulin pens. So you are giving me a bottle of insulin, but you won’t give me the syringes to use them?”

Pharmacy Tech: “We can’t give you syringes without a doctor’s prescription.”

Me: “Can I please talk to the pharmacist?”

Pharmacy Tech: “She’s very busy right now, and she’s going to tell you the same thing.”

Me: “I will wait.”

(The pharmacy tech huffs, and I go sit down in the waiting area. About 10 minutes later, after I’ve seen the pharmacist give several consultations, I walk up to the consultation window.)

Pharmacist: *very pleasantly* “Hi. Do you need a consultation?”

Me: “Actually, the lady at the register said that you were substituting a bottle of insulin instead of the pens because you are out.”

Pharmacist: “Oh, you need to know how to use the syringes?”

Me: “No, I know how to do that, but I don’t have any syringes.”

Pharmacist: “Oh, no problem. We’ll give you some since we are out of the pens.”

Me: “The lady at the register is refusing to give them to me without a prescription.”

(The pharmacist looks towards the registers and glares.)

Pharmacist: “She’s been doing that all day. I don’t know why I have to keep explaining it to her. At least she goes home in half an hour.”

(The pharmacist rang me up and I was on my way with syringes. I never saw the pharmacy tech there again.)

[florida80]

On A Stool’s Errand
PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 22, 2014
(I am working in a public health clinic pharmacy. A worker from another department walks in the door and drops a baggie on the counter.)

Worker: “Hi. Here’s the stool sample you wanted.”

Me: *attempting to hide my intense feelings of alarm* “Um, this is the pharmacy. I think you want the lab. It’s across the hall.”

Worker: *snatches bag off counter* “Okay.”

(The woman left. I immediately began frantically sanitizing the counter.)

[florida80]

Not As Easy As ABC, 123
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MAY 5, 2014
Patient: “I’m picking up some meds. My name is [Name].”

Me: “I have three prescriptions here for you today. Is that correct?”

Patient: “I think so. Can you show them to me?”

Me: “Sure”

(I pull out three bottles from the bag and show all three to the patient.)

Patient: “Okay, where’s the third one?”

Me: “I just showed you all three. What are you talking about?”

(I hold each one up and count as I go along. I get to three and he still looks confused.)

Patient: “I thought you said I had three… I don’t see the third one!”

Me: “I just showed you three bottles! What are you talking about?! Do you know how to count?!”

Patient: “Oh… okay. I’ll take your word for it but I still don’t think there’s three here”

[florida80]

Not A Hire Level Of Professionalism
BAD BEHAVIOR, GERMANY, JOB SEEKERS, PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 2, 2014
(I get a call on the first of April, one day after a job interview.)

Caller: “HEY! HEY! Guess what!”

Me: “Who is this?”

Caller: “It’s [Name] from [Company] from yesterday! You’re hired! All the other applicants were total f****** idiots! That’s why we want you!”

Me: “Uhm, thanks? That’s—”

Caller: “You know what I did? Do you want to hear it?”

Me: “What did you do?”

Caller: “I called all the other applicants and told them they’re hired! And when they got all excited I screamed ‘April Fools!’ Haha, I would have loved to see their faces. The first guy told me he’d sue me! Isn’t that funny?”

Me: “So… is this a joke? Or am I hired?”

Caller: “You’re actually hired. As I said, all the others were total f****** idiots! Welcome to [Company]!”

(I’m not sure if I’m going to take this job…)

[florida80]

Likes To Party Hard
PHARMACY, RETAIL | RIGHT | MAY 1, 2014
(I am the cashier at a convenience store that also has a pharmacy on the back. It is a slow day and my pharmacy coworker asks me to watch his station for a minute. A mustached, gallon-hat wearing cowboy (boots and all) comes up to me and asks in a very deep voice:)

Cowboy: “Do you carry generic Viagra?”

Me: *stunned* “I’m sorry. If you could just wait for a minute?”

(Thankfully my coworker heard him and took over. I went back to my station and then the same customer appeared. His purchases? Generic Viagra, a tequila bottle, and a 25-pack of lollipops…)

[florida80]

Please Keep Customer Interaction To A Condominimum, Part 2
PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 29, 2014
(It is a Friday late afternoon. I am mechanically ringing up sales adding “have a nice weekend” to my normal “here’s your receipt” spiel. I realized after saying this to a male customer that he is buying several high-quantity boxes of condoms. I also remember he had a work shirt on with his name sewn on it. I stepped into the pharmacy and talk to my coworkers.)

Me: “Oh, my God!”

Coworker: “What is it?”

Me: “I just told a customer to have a good weekend, before noticing he was buying nothing but condoms! He obviously has plans to do so!”

(About thirty minutes later the phone rings, and the pharmacist picks it up.)

Coworker: “[My Name], you have a phone call.”

(I answer.)

Caller: “Hi, I’m [Customer With Named Shirt]. I’m calling because I want to go out with you this weekend!”

(Um, that would be ‘NO,’ creepy condom dude!)

[florida80]

Seeing Eye Dog
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 19, 2014
(I am serving on the counter of a small pharmacy on a busy Saturday. A middle aged lady approaches my desk.)

Customer: “Hi. Can I get something for infected eyes, please?”

Me: “Of course. When did the problems with your eyes begin?”

Customer: “Oh, it’s not for me. It’s for my dog. His eyes looked really sore this morning!”

Me: *slightly alarmed* “We don’t sell medicines for pets here, unfortunately. You would have to go a vet to get something for your dog.”

Customer: “No, it’s fine. I give him human medicines all the time!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell you anything for your dog. I’m not allowed to do that, and what’s more, I wouldn’t want to cause him any harm.”

Customer: “But… his eyes are the same size as human eyes!”

[florida80]

Your Ears Must Deceive You
PHARMACY | WORKING | JANUARY 25, 2014
(It’s eight in the morning on a Saturday, at a very small shop that’s located by a big shopping centre. There’s literally nobody in the car park or in the shops of this place. The only people in the area are the pharmacist and the cashier.)

Me: “Could I get my ears pierced, please?”

Pharmacist: “Sorry. We’re too busy on weekends to pierce ears.”

(There’s a moment of awkward silence as I look around the empty, silent shop.)

Me: “You’re too busy?”

Pharmacist: “Yes. We only pierce ears on weekdays because weekends are too busy.”

(I’m lost for words for a moment, as I stand alone in the customer area where not even all the aisles have their lighting on.)

Me: “Could you make an exception?”

Pharmacist: “What if ten people with prescriptions were to suddenly arrive? Then what would we do? There’s only two of us behind the counter.”

(I end up leaving pretty soon after without getting anything, as the pharmacist continued to insist that ten people with prescriptions would materialise from the empty car-park.)

[florida80]

A Gross Grocery Error
EDITORS' CHOICE, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | JANUARY 2, 2014
(The customer in front of me is dropping off a prescription. She’s on her phone.)

Customer: “…and then can you pick up [Child] from school, or do you want me— Hang on, I’m at the front of the line.” *to pharmacist* “Here’s my prescription, ID, insurance data. Need anything else?”

Pharmacist: “Just give me a minute to read through this.”

Customer: *on phone* “So, anyway, about the groceries. Why is taking—”

Pharmacist: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Oh, hang on.” *to pharmacist* “Sorry, I know it’s rude to talk on the phone, but—”

Pharmacist: “No, no. Your prescription. It says ‘cheese, yogurt, chunky peanut butter.'”

(There is a pause.)

Customer: *on phone* “I think I know why it’s taking you so long at the grocery store.”

[florida80]

Doesn’t Have A Glue
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 29, 2013
(We have bottles of hand sanitizer at the pick-up and drop off counters for customers to use if they please.)

Me: “Hi. Can I help you?”

Customer: “WHAT DID I JUST PUT ON MY HANDS?”

Me: “Er, what?”

Customer: *waving hands frantically* “What’s in that bottle? It’s not glue is it? My hands aren’t going to stick to my cart when I touch it?”

Me: “No, ma’am. It’s just hand sanitizer.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Thanks! Have a good day!”

(The customer leaves without getting anything from the dispensary.)

Me: *to coworker* “Why the h*** would we have glue in squirt bottles?”

[florida80]

Can’t Pin Him Down To A Number, Part 2
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 10, 2013
(It’s Friday afternoon, and I am a customer waiting for my prescriptions in the waiting area of my pharmacy. The customer ahead of me, a gruff older man, is getting upset with the cashier over a problem with the card reader.)

Customer: “I’m telling you, it’s not my card. It’s your machine!”

Cashier: “Sir, you have to enter your PIN correctly—”

Customer: “I KNOW how to enter my PIN! Your machines are wrong! This doesn’t happen to me anywhere else.”

Cashier: “I don’t know what to tell you, sir. My machine has been functioning properly all day. Your transaction failed after you entered your PIN. Would you like to try it again?”

Customer: “If I try it again, you better MAKE it work right! [Financial Institution] is going to freeze my card if I keep trying. I’m going away for the weekend so I NEED my card to work!”

Cashier: “Well, I can’t put in your PIN for you, sir. So I can’t guarantee you it will work.”

Customer: “This has happened the last two times I’ve been in here! I’ve been a customer here for 30 years and you’re saying it’s MY fault? Your machines are wrong! And now my card is going to be frozen until Monday!”

Cashier: “I don’t know what else to tell you, sir. Let me get my manager.”

(The cashier pages the manager, who arrives promptly.)

Manager: “I understand there’s some trouble with your card, sir?”

Customer: “The machine is messing up. It’s NOT my PIN. My card is going to be frozen and I’m going away this weekend!”

Manager: “I understand, sir. If you have time to wait, I’ll call [Financial Institution, which is also responsible for card reader] and try to find out what’s going on.”

(My manager dials the phone and explains the situation to tech support.)

Manager: *on phone* “Uh-huh. I see.”

Customer: “Ask them if my card is frozen!”

Manager: *on phone* “So there’s no problem with our system? Alright. Thank you.”

Customer: “Oh, wait. My PIN on this card is five digits. I only entered four!”

[florida80]

Intelligence Is Not The Flavor Of The Month
PHARMACY | WORKING | DECEMBER 3, 2013
(In the UK, you get your prescriptions for free if you’re age 16, 17, or 18, and in full-time education, which I am. Your age in years and months is written on your collection form. Mine reads 16 years and 9 months.)

Me: “Hello. I need to pick up a prescription. Could you show me what I need to sign?”

Pharmacist: *glances at the form* “Are you working?”

Me: “No.”

Pharmacist: “Are you in full-time education?”

Me: “Yes.”

Pharmacist: “Are any of these applicable?”

(The pharmacist points to war veterans benefits and low income benefits, as well as two others that definitely don’t apply.)

Me: “Uh. No.”

Pharmacist: “Well, I’m afraid you’re going to have to pay for this medicine. It’ll be £7.88.”

Me: “What? It’s always been free in the past! I haven’t got any money on me.”

Pharmacist: “It’s £7.88, I’m afraid. If you want, I can hold it for you and you can pick it up later when you’ve got some money. We close at 5:45.”

Me: “Alright, I guess I could do that. I’ve never had to pay before. Are you sure that’s right?”

Pharmacist: “Have you? You should’ve been charged. Anyway, you have to pay now.”

(I leave, knowing I won’t be able to return home and back in time. I call my dad and ask him to collect it for me. He does so and gets it to me when he gets home from work.)

Dad: “Want to know why they wouldn’t give it to you?”

Me: “Why?”

Dad: “The other pharmacist was serving me. She read over your prescription and asked the woman who’d served you why she’d charged you, as your prescription form clearly said you’re 16. She looked mortified. Turns out, she’d misread the ‘9’ in your 9 months as ’19’!”

(Good to know these are the people handling our medicine!)

[florida80]

A Bitter Pill To Swallow
PHARMACY | WORKING | NOVEMBER 23, 2013
Me: “Hi, I’m here to pick up my prescription.”

Pharmacist: “What’s the name?”

Me: “[Name], that’s [N-A-M-E].”

Pharmacist: “[N-A-M-E]?”

Me: “Yes.”

Pharmacist: “We don’t have a prescription under that name.”

Me: “Could you look again? It should have been sent over from [School] this morning.”

Pharmacist: *without checking* “We don’t have it.”

Me: “Could you check your computers to see if you got the order?”

Pharmacist: *checks computer* “Oh! Yeah, we got the order. [Medicine] has been backordered for weeks, so no one has it.”

Me: “I see. So, you just didn’t fill the order?”

Pharmacist: “Yeah. We couldn’t.”

Me: “And you didn’t call the number in my file or my doctor to let them know the medication wasn’t available?”

Pharmacist: “We can’t just call EVERY person who orders this! That would take forever!”

Me: “So it’s better that EVERY person who needed that medication should come all the way down here just to hear that their prescription can’t be filled?”

Pharmacist: “Yeah.”

Me: *furious*

[florida80]

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 5
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 19, 2013
(I’m a pharmacist, and one day at work, a young woman comes up to the counter to pick up a script. I notice she is wearing one of those insertable birth control rings around her wrist.)

Me: “Ma’am, you know that’s not how those work, right?”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “Your birth control ring. Those are meant to be worn… you know… internally.”

Customer: “Oh, shoot, really? I… I didn’t know that. Excuse me.”

(She walks away and returns with a pregnancy test, clearly worried and very embarrassed.)

Customer: “I guess I’ll be needing this, too.”

[florida80]

The Pharmacist Calls The Shots
PHARMACY | WORKING | NOVEMBER 7, 2013
(I have numerous health problems, and have to take 10 different prescription medications. Because of the risk of drug interactions, I don’t take as much as a vitamin without running it past a pharmacist. I’m in the pharmacy to buy an over-the-counter drug allergy tablet.)

Me: “Before I get that, I’d like to speak to the pharmacist please.”

Assistant: “The pharmacist is very busy. What’s the problem?”

Me: “I take several prescription drugs. I’d like to make sure this tablet’s not going to cause a bad interaction.”

Assistant: *rolling eyes* “I shouldn’t think it would.”

Me: “I would like to speak to the pharmacist, please.”

Assistant: “The pharmacist is very busy. I’m sure I can answer your questions.”

Me: “I’m concerned about drug interactions and I WOULD LIKE TO SPEAK TO THE PHARMACIST, PLEASE.”

Assistant: “Well, it’s just Lipitor or something, isn’t it? That’s no problem.”

(Instead of answering, I place on the counter the bag I carry my meds in; I bring it to new pharmacies so there’s no possibility of mistaken dosages or anything forgotten. I open the bag and begin to take out my various medications, including the injectible, and the ones plastered with warning labels. The assistant’s eyes get bigger with each new box.)

Assistant: “…I’ll just go get the pharmacist.”

Me: “You do that.”

[florida80]

Drive Flu
PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 30, 2013
(I work at a pharmacy that has a drive-thru. We do flu shots and they are in high demand. We have never administered a flu shot at the drive-thru. A customer drives up to the window in her mini-van.)

Me “Good afternoon! What can I help you with today?”

Customer: “I would like to get the flu shot. Can you hurry because I have things to do.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but you will have to come inside for us to administer the shot. It won’t take more than five minutes.”

Customer: “No! I don’t want to get out of my car. I’m in a hurry; I’m the customer and you have to do what I say, so you have to do it from here!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s against the rules to do it at the drive-thru. I don’t think it would be very sanitary and I wouldn’t even be able to reach you from this window. You will need to come in. I promise it won’t take long.”

(The customer puts her car into gear, so I figure she is coming inside so I close the window and walk away. As I walk away I hear a blaring car horn so I go back to the window.)

Customer: “You have no right to deny me the shot! Are you trying to kill me? What if I get the flu and die? It would be your fault and you will go to jail for MURDER!”

Me: “I’m not denying you the shot, ma’am. Like I said you will have to come inside; it’s the rules. Please move so I can help the other customers.”

Customer: “NO, B****! I WANT THE SHOT RIGHT NOW AND I’M NOT COMING INSIDE! I’M NOT MOVING MY CAR UNTIL YOU HELP ME! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU ARE WASTING MY TIME! I HAVE THINGS TO DO! I AM THE CUSTOMER AND YOU HAVE TO HELP ME! GIVE IT TO ME NOW YOU LAZY B****!”

Me: “No, you need to come inside. We can not administer a shot at a drive-thru window. We have never done it that way. If you come inside I will be able to help you and it will only take minutes. Please move your car so I can help other customers.”

Customer: “NO! I’M NOT MOVING AND YOU BETTER NOT HELP ANYONE ELSE! I WAS HERE FIRST AND I DEMAND YOU GIVE ME THE SHOT FROM HERE! IF YOU DON’T GIVE ME THE SHOT I’M GOING TO HAVE YOU FIRED AND I WILL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER GET ANOTHER JOB IN THIS CITY!”

Me: “For the last time, NO! If you don’t move your car, I’m going to call the police.”

(I start helping the other customers. The customer continues to yell, flips me off and hits the gas. That’s when I hear a loud crash. I look to see that she had put her car in reverse by accident and slammed into the car behind her!)

[florida80]

No ID, No Idea, Part 13
PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 3, 2013
(I have recently been hired at a pharmacy a few towns over from mine. It’s my second day as cashier, when a teen girl comes to my register. I’m 22 and wearing a name tag.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like a pack of [Brand] cigarettes, please.”

Me: “No problem. I just need to see your ID.”

Customer: “Oh, well it’s at my house and I don’t have time to run back and get it. Can’t you let me go this time?”

Me: “Sorry, it’s not worth my job.”

Customer: “But you know me!”

Me: “I can’t say that I do.”

Customer: “Dude, [My Name], we go to high school together.”

Me: “Oh, really? What high school do you go to?”

Customer: “[Local High School]. We totally have English together.”

Me: “Yeah, no. First of all I went to [Rival High School]. Second, I was in AP English, the scores of which I used to go to [University], which I just graduated from. So, no, I don’t know you. Show me ID or move along.”

Customer: “You suck.”

(She left and asked the next few visibly older customers to buy her cigarettes. No one bought them, and one even threatened to call the cops if she didn’t leave!)

[florida80]

Doing A Real Job On Doing A Real Job
PHARMACY | WORKING | OCTOBER 3, 2013
(I have just gotten off of a split shift, during my second seven-day work week. My children have joined me for the last part of my second shift to help me out and we are heading home. It’s just after 8:30 pm, and I’ve been at it since 6 am. We go to the pharmacy next to my store to buy some ibuprofen, and I go up to the pharmacy desk to pay since the main cash has a huge lineup of people buying toilet paper and snack foods. After waiting about two minutes the pharmacy technician, who’s been looking at me and sighing deeply, finally comes to serve me.)

Employee: “Are you here to pick up a prescription?”

Me: “No, I’d just like to pay for these.”

Employee: *as she’s scanning my pills* “Okay, well this cash is only for prescription medication purchases. You should really have gone to the main cash.”

(I’ve often seen customers paying for everything from band aids to makeup at this cash without buying prescriptions, as long as they had some sort of medication with them from the pharmacy area where I picked up my pills.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that. I just assumed that you pay for medicine at the pharmacy counter. I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”

Employee: “Yeah, well we’re really busy you know, and this takes me away from doing all my work. Now it’s going to take me even longer to finish up and get out of here tonight.”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize. I work in retail myself, I know how frustrating it is when you’re busy and you have to stop to help a customer or coworker. It can be—”

Employee: “And you know, just because it doesn’t look like we’re doing anything, it doesn’t mean we’re not busy. We have a lot to do here and this is really annoying! You know, people are just leaving us with their prescriptions all the time.”

Me: “Well, that is your job but still I can understand—”

Employee: “When customers like you waste our time like this it’s really annoying. It’s going to take us even longer to finish up now.”

(The pharmacist finally hands me my change. My children are clinging to me nervously and the customers around me are all shuffling around awkwardly, trying not to look our way. I’ve had enough.)

Me: “Look, I’ve literally been working since 6am. I worked seven days in the last week, I have one day off this week, and I’ll be working from home, and then I work another seven days. I am exhausted, and I regularly have to stop what I’m doing to help my customers, coworkers and employees even when they really could have managed without me. I regularly have to work late or start early due to these interruptions, and my job is 90% physical work on the floor doing heavy lifting and going up and down ladders in a dusty stockroom. You are preaching to the choir here lady. And I’ll tell you, I have never spoken to a customer the way you just spoke to me, or made them feel guilty about coming in to shop and making me do my JOB! Thank you and good night.”

[florida80]

No ID, No Idea, Part 13
PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 3, 2013
(I have recently been hired at a pharmacy a few towns over from mine. It’s my second day as cashier, when a teen girl comes to my register. I’m 22 and wearing a name tag.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like a pack of [Brand] cigarettes, please.”

Me: “No problem. I just need to see your ID.”

Customer: “Oh, well it’s at my house and I don’t have time to run back and get it. Can’t you let me go this time?”

Me: “Sorry, it’s not worth my job.”

Customer: “But you know me!”

Me: “I can’t say that I do.”

Customer: “Dude, [My Name], we go to high school together.”

Me: “Oh, really? What high school do you go to?”

Customer: “[Local High School]. We totally have English together.”

Me: “Yeah, no. First of all I went to [Rival High School]. Second, I was in AP English, the scores of which I used to go to [University], which I just graduated from. So, no, I don’t know you. Show me ID or move along.”

Customer: “You suck.”

(She left and asked the next few visibly older customers to buy her cigarettes. No one bought them, and one even threatened to call the cops if she didn’t leave!)

[florida80]

Cold And Uncaring
PHARMACY | WORKING | SEPTEMBER 12, 2013
(Our pharmacy has recently switched to a new manufacturer of Lorazepam, which requires refrigeration. I overhear a conversation between a patient’s caregiver, and the pharmacist.)

Caregiver: “So I was told this stuff has to be kept cold? Is it still good if it wasn’t?”

Pharmacist: “No, you’re going to have to get it replaced. If it’s been left in room temperature for more than a few hours, I cannot recommend you giving it to your patient.”

Caregiver: “Well nobody told me it had to be kept cold! I want a free replacement.”

Pharmacist: “We put ‘REFRIGERATE’ on every label; don’t you read your patient’s labels?”

Caregiver: “I don’t have time to read all the labels.”

Pharmacist: “Then how do you know you’re giving the drugs properly to the patient?”

Caregiver: “…”

Pharmacist: “That’ll be $30 for a new bottle.”

[florida80]

Drugs Can Make You See Things
PHARMACY | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 2, 2013
(I am at the pharmacy picking up my prescription. I am standing in line behind a very elderly lady.)

Pharmacist: “Hello, ma’am. What can I do for you?”

Elderly Lady: “I am picking up my prescription. It’s under Mrs. [last name].”

(I overhear the elderly lady, and realize that she has the same last name as I do. This is not a totally uncommon name, but it doesn’t happen too often.)

Pharmacist: “Okay! Here we go I think it’s… huh…”

(The pharmacist looks confused as she picks up some pills.)

Pharmacist: “Can you tell me your first name please? I don’t think I grabbed the right one.”

Elderly Lady: “Sure, it’s [first name].”

(By a crazy coincidence, this is my first name too! At this point the pharmacist widens her eyes in shock as she stares at the pill box in her hand. She starts to stammer.)

Pharmacist: “But… um… I don’t… uhh… how?”

Me: “Um, I think those might be mine. I have the same first name and last name. Those are my birth control pills.”

Pharmacist: “Oh thank GOD! I thought I was in the twilight zone!”

Elderly Lady: “Oh dear! No wonder! No I don’t want THOSE!”

[florida80]

Stupidity Is Its Own Reward, Part 2
PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 23, 2013
(I’m about to ring a customer up. I’m supposed to ask if they have our rewards card, and if they say no, I offer them to sign up for it, as it’s free of charge and relatively quick to do.)

Me: “Good evening, ma’am. Do you have a rewards card?”

Customer: “No. What’s the benefit of it?”

Me: “The rewards card allows you to get the sale prices of whatever’s on sale for the week, and with certain sale items and over the counter medications. You build up rewards points, which you can use to save money later on.”

Customer: “Okay. Do I need anything for it?”

Me: “All we need is some basic info, just for identification purposes. Would you like to sign up? It’s free of charge.”

Customer: *says nothing, fumbles around her purse*

Me: “Ma’am? Would you like to sign up for the card?”

(The customer takes out her credit card and swipes it, paying for the purchase.)

Me: “Okay.”

(I hand her the receipt and her bags.)

Me: “Have a good night.”

Customer: “So, do I get the rewards now?”

Me: *screaming internally*

[florida80]

Misconceiving The Point
PHARMACY | WORKING | AUGUST 21, 2013
(I am a 20-year-old female, but I guess I look younger. This occurs the first time I am buying condoms. I feel a little awkward, since it is my only item, and I’ve never bought them before.)

Cashier: *holding up the box of condoms* “Will this be all?”

Me: “Yep.”

Cashier: “I don’t think I can sell these to you.”

Me: “W-why?”

Cashier: “I think you’re too young to be having sex.”

Me: “That’s absurd! I’m 20 years old!”

Cashier: “Yeah, okay. Prove it! Let me see your driver’s license.”

(I start to go through my purse, when an old lady in line behind me speaks up towards the cashier.)

Old Lady: “Hey, you pimply a**-hole! Just let the girl buy her stuff. She’s trying to buy contraception to have safe sex instead of risking an STD or a pregnancy. Even if she was younger than 20, and I believe she is telling the truth, you should still sell them to her to prevent another teenage pregnancy! On top of it, we are on a college campus! How many young teenagers do you see around here? Most of the people who shop here are 17 or older! Just give her the d*** condoms!”

(The cashier wordlessly scans my items and bags them, and takes my cash.)

Me: “Have a nice day, jack-a**! Oh, and I’m paying for her stuff, too.”

[florida80]

Make His Life A Living Bell
PHARMACY | ROMANTIC | AUGUST 13, 2013
(I am a cashier at a small town pharmacy. An older customer walks in making a jingling sound, and I see that he has bells tied to his shoelaces. It is August, and he appears anything but jolly, so I am perplexed by the bells.)

Me: “Sir, if you don’t mind my asking: why the bells?”

Customer: “My wife is going deaf, and she gets mad when I ‘sneak up on her.’ This was her solution.”

[florida80]

In Need Of Valium
PHARMACY | RELATED | AUGUST 7, 2013
(I am eight years old. My mom and I are shopping, and we pass the drug store.)

Mom: “I need to go there.”

Me: “Mommy, no, I’m tired! I wanna go home; let’s go home!”

Mom: “No. It’ll be quick.”

(Mom pulls me into the drug store.)

Me: “Why do we have to go here? It’s a bad place!”

Mom: “Oh, really? Why do you say that.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s called a drug store, and I heard that drugs are bad! On TV!”

Mom: “Uh huh.”

Me: *to other customers* “DRUGGIES! You’re bad people! Drugs are BAD—”

(My mom hustles me out of there and never takes me back!)

[florida80]

You Really Don’t Want That On An Open Wound
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 17, 2013
(I’m currently doing inventory at the local pharmacy where I work. An older customer comes up to me with her friend, in a panic.)

Customer: “Can you help me?! I need some ‘Polysperm’!”

(I assume she means ‘Polysporin’, the topical ointment that treats infections.)

Me: “Did you mean ‘Polysporin’?”

Customer: “Oh, no! I DEFINITELY need some ‘Polysperm’!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I haven’t heard of that product. May I ask what you are using it for?”

Customer: “Oh, I scraped my elbow, and want to put that ‘Polysperm’ on it!”

Me: “Okay, let me show you where it’s stocked.”

(I point to the display of ‘Polysporin’.)

Customer: *to her friend* “Young kids these days! They don’t know anything!”

[florida80]

An Impatient Patient
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 11, 2013
(It is a Sunday, so not many pharmacies are open. I’ve come in with my friend, who is rather unwell. The staff know my husband and I quite well, as we’re in there for our regular medication. Additionally, I have multiple piercings, a rather large tattoo on my nape of my neck, and teal green hair.)

Pharmacist: “Won’t be long; please take a seat.”

(We do, and I give the tech I know well a smile and a nod in greeting. Another customer enters.)

Customer: “How long will it be for my medication?”

Pharmacist: “About 20 minutes. We have a few people in front of you.”

Customer: “Fine. I wouldn’t come here if you weren’t the only pharmacy open on a bloody Sunday; you’re always slow!”

(The pharmacist brushes it off and goes to make up medications.)

Customer: “I’m only having to wait this long because of stupid drug freaks.”

(My friend turns to say something, but I put my hand on her arm and shake my head.)

Customer: “Yeah, I mean you, green freak! What, come in for your methadone early, and they won’t give it to you?”

(I’ve deliberately turned my back on him at this point.)

Customer: “F****** druggies! We pay for you to get f****** high.”

Pharmacy Tech: “Sir, can you watch your language please?”

Customer: “No I f****** won’t! That stupid b**** is the reason I have to wait so f****** long! She’s strung out, look at the f****** circles under her eyes; they’re all bloodshot!”

Pharmacy Tech: “I’ll have you know that young lady there is a full-time carer for her husband, who is disabled. And all this whilst being disabled herself. She looks like she hasn’t slept in a week because she probably hasn’t; between caring for him, volunteering with [national advice organization], and helping out her friend here who is rather unwell. And I don’t personally care if my taxes are being used to help her out; I wish there were more people like her out there!”

Customer: “I… I… I demand to see a pharmacist!”

Pharmacist: “Sir, I am not going to reprimand my tech for handling that much better than I would have. Do not insult my customers. Here is your prescription back; please fill it somewhere else.”

(The customer stomps out.)

Me: “I’m really sorry I caused that.”

Pharmacist: “Eh, don’t worry; he’s always an a** when he comes in here. Besides, he has an exemption certificate, which means our taxes are paying for his meds too!”

[florida80]

A Leftist Agenda
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 29, 2013
(I am filling out a form to refill my medication. A fellow customer, here for a flu shot, sits down next to me. Note that I’m left-handed.)

Customer: “Woah! How are you doing that with your left hand?”

Me: “I’m left-handed.”

Customer: “Don’t you people like, flip around letters?”

Me: “No, can’t say I do. I think you’re thinking of dyslexia, which some left-handed people have.”

Customer: “Huh…”

(The customer notices that I’m writing with a gel pen.)

Customer: “Wait… you people can’t use gel pens! How do you write with that?”

Me: “Carefully.”

Customer: “What would happen if you used your right hand? Would it, like, work?”

Me: “Well, for most of us, no. My left hand is like your right hand, and my right hand is like your left hand. You could probably use your left hand if you had to, but it’s not ideal. The same goes for me with my right hand.”

Customer: “That’s so weird! I’ve never seen anything like this!”

[florida80]

Diabetes Meets Rabies
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 27, 2013
(A customer is picking up some diabetic test-strips, and I am ringing him up.)

Me: “How are you doing today, sir?”

Customer: “I’m alright; how about yourself?”

Me: “I’m doing great, thanks. Did you have any questions for the pharmacist?”

(The customer gestures at the test strips, jokingly.)

Customer: “Yeah, do I really have to poke myself for these to work?”

Me: “Yep, I’m afraid so.”

Customer: “Can’t I just poke you instead?”

Me: *laughing* “Sorry, I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way, sir.”

(The customer gestures at my multiple facial piercings.)

Customer: “You look like the type that would enjoy that, though.”

Me: “Your doctor might have a problem with that, though.”

(When a customer picks up a prescription, they’re required by law to sign, stating that they’ve received it. Our pharmacy does this through an electronic prompt. The customer looks at it.)

Customer: “What’s this?”

Me: “It’s just a way to say that you’ve gotten your prescription. That way there’s no confusion later. It’s as much for your protection as ours really.”

Customer: “Well what happens if I don’t sign it?”

Me: “Then unfortunately, we’re not allowed to give you your prescriptions.”

Customer: “WELL I GUESS I’M NOT GETTING ANYTHING TODAY!”

(The customer THROWS the electronic pen across the counter, hitting me in the face. He turns, and practically skips away. The pharmacist and I aren’t sure if he is joking, but by the end of the day he still hasn’t come back!)

[florida80]

The Opposite Of Disappearing Ink
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 21, 2013
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it looks like this prescription is expired.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “The law says we can’t take prescriptions this old.”

Customer: “But you said it’s expired. Where does it say that?”

Me: “It doesn’t, but see the date? That’s several months old. We couldn’t fill it now if we tried.”

Customer: “You’re telling me if I’d brought this in exactly as it is just a few months ago, you’d have been able to take it?”

Me: “Theoretically, yes.”

Customer: “So why won’t you take it now? Nothing’s changed!”

Me: “Except today’s date, sir. The prescription expired a few weeks after it was written. You can even see the disclaimer written at the bottom.”

Customer: “So why doesn’t it notify me when it expires? It ought to say ‘expired’ on it!”

Me: “Um… the paper isn’t going to magically print the word ‘expired’ if you wait too long to bring it in.”

Customer: “Well, it should!”

[florida80]

This Cashier’s Number Is Up
PHARMACY | WORKING | JUNE 9, 2013
(I am 20 years old at this time. Valentine’s Day is approaching, so I go out to the store to buy some fake wine and chocolates for my boyfriend.)

Cashier: “Oooh, a date for Valentine’s Day?”

Me: “Yep! We’re going out to dinner, and I thought I’d buy this stuff for dessert.”

Cashier: “Nice! Can I see some ID for the wine?”

Me: “Oh, that’s grape juice. It doesn’t have alcohol.”

Cashier: “No, I need to see your ID for the wine. I can’t sell it to you if you’re under 21.”

Me: “No, it’s sparkling grape juice. I’m 20 and I’ve bought it before. It doesn’t have any alcohol in it.”

Cashier: “I suppose I can let it slide for a pretty girl like you.”

Me: “Excuse me? First off, that would be illegal if this was real wine, and second, I just mentioned I have a boyfriend. It’s fake wine. Please just let me buy this and leave.”

Cashier: “No need to be like that. I’ll sell it to you.”

Me: “Thank you! What’s my total?”

Cashier: “Your phone number.”

Me: “What?”

Cashier: “I’ll give this to you for your phone number! I can take you out someplace really nice to eat, and then we can go back to my place if you know what I mean. I get free condoms for working here!”

Me: “Here’s $10. This should cover my purchases. I’m going to leave and pretend you didn’t just ask me to have sex with you in exchange for dinner and my groceries.”

[florida80]

Needs To Take A Chill Pill, Part 2
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 4, 2013
Me: “Thank you for calling [Pharmacy], how can I—”

Customer: “So I just requested a refill, and I want to know when it will be ready.”

Me: “Okay, what is your name?”

(The customer gives her name. I see that no refill was requested. The medication is out of refills, and needs approval from the doctor.)

Me: “I am very sorry, but we must not have gotten your refill request. I see that there are no refills available. I am going to have to fax the doctor.”

Customer: “I did that. I went to their site and asked the doctor to do that. It should have just given my request to you, and it should be ready by now.”

Me: “So, which website did you go to? Was it ours, or your doctor’s site?”

Customer: “His, duh! How can you be that stupid? I requested it, and you see that request, and then you just fill out the paper to give me refills. All the doctor does is sign it. It should take like all of five minutes to get that done. So when the h*** is my prescription going to be ready?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am sorry. We are in no way connected to your doctor’s office. They have their own software, and we have ours. We cannot in any way see what you have requested with your doctor’s office. We have to wait until he contacts us, and sometimes that can take up to three days for a response. Now if you are out of this medica—”

Customer: “This is unacceptable! I know how these computer things work. You can look up any person’s prescriptions anywhere and anytime, no matter what pharmacy they are at! Now fill my f****** prescription!”

Me: “Ma’am, there is no way I can do that. That would be in direct violation of federal law. There is a privacy act that means that we cannot share medical information with anyone else without your direct consent. Would you like it if I could access your medical record right now and see things like what you went to the ER for?”

(Note: this customer is a notorious drug seeker, and is well known at ERs and Urgent Cares throughout the area. She also knows that we know.)

Customer: “…uh, no.”

Me: “That’s why we can’t see anything your doctor may have on you, or what requests you may have made to him. It’s to protect your privacy. Now since this isn’t a narcotic, I can ask the pharmacist if we can advance you some of your medication until we hear back from the doctor.”

Customer: “Uh yeah, okay. That will be fine then.”

(My pharmacist later pulls me to the side and tells me that I did a great job with a difficult customer, and with keeping my cool. Come Christmas time, I got a few extra bucks in my bonus!)

[florida80]

Doing More Pharm Than Good
CALIFORNIA, EMPLOYEES, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, PHARMACY, SACRAMENTO, USA | WORKING | MAY 31, 2013
(My daughter has a seizure disorder. We are a low-income family, and we get low-cost insurance through the state for her. However, because of this disorder, she has separate insurance through the state; the pharmacy knows this.)

Tech: “Um, okay, so we tried to run your daughter’s medication and it won’t go through. We have to contact [Regular] insurance to see why it won’t go through.”

Me: “Wait, no… you have to run it through [Other] insurance. I called this in like three days ago, and you are now just calling me?! That is the medication she takes for her seizures. I am out, too, and I can’t have her miss a dose.”

Tech: “We did and it didn’t work. You can pay cash for it. That’s $54.99.”

Me: “Look, I am low income. I can’t afford something that expensive. Are you sure you ran it through the right insurance?”

Tech: “Uh, yeah. It’s not my fault you let your insurance lapse or something. You need to call [Regular] insurance and take care of it on your end or else pay cash.”

(I call my daughter’s regular insurance, who confirms my side of things. They call the pharmacy and get them to approve the medication. I call back but request to speak with a pharmacist directly.)

Me: “So, did it work this time?”

Pharmacist: “Yeah, it did. I’m sorry [Tech] was acting that way. She just didn’t want to run it on the other insurance because it takes a few more steps to make.”

Me: “Yeah, I know. I’ve heard this song and dance every month for the last three months and nothing has changed. Look, my kid was totally out of her seizure meds! She could have had a seizure because of your lack of calling me about it in a timely manner and making jump through hoops I don’t need to.”

Pharmacist: “Well, I’m really busy, and I can’t watch everything they do all the time.”

Me: “Wow, you just inspired me to take my business elsewhere and call corporate to complain.”

(Within two hours, my daughter’s prescriptions were transferred to another pharmacy where they DO take the time to run it correctly and call me if/when there is a problem. I recently went back into that first store to return something and there was an entirely new staff in the pharmacy. I hope these ones do actually care!)

[florida80]

One Good Deed Job-Leads To Another
PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 28, 2013
(I am working late at night in a 24-hour pharmacy. There are only three customers in the store: a scruffy but clean young couple and another gentleman. The woman in the young couple is very heavily pregnant, and her partner is picking up the range of baby hats we carry and holding them up against her stomach, then looking at the prices and sadly putting them back. They pick up a packet of the cheapest pain medication we carry and bring it to the counter.)

Female Customer: “I’m sorry, but can you please ask the pharmacist if these are safe for me to take?”

Me: “Of course!”

(While we’re waiting for the pharmacist to come out, they tell me they’re expecting their daughter any day now. The pharmacist has been watching the young couple since they came in.)

Pharmacist: “These are fine, but can I ask why you need them?”

Female Customer: “Oh, I have a horrible cough that’s making my back ache even worse. I can’t get to sleep.”

(The pharmacist goes through a list of cough medicines safe for her to take, before the young man shakes his head with tears in his eyes.)

Male Customer: “I’m sorry, I’ve just lost my job and we really can’t afford any of those. Sorry for wasting your time.”

Pharmacist: “That’s okay, but this packet is damaged, and legally I can’t let you take it. Seeing as it was the last one, let me and [my name] go look in the back for some more.”

(The pharmacist takes me out the back, where he puts three packets of name brand painkillers, four bottles of name brand cough syrup, a wheat bag for her back, a tin of formula, a packet of newborn nappies and a few of the hats the couple was looking at into a box. He hands me the box and tells me to take it out to them. I do and they both burst into tears, thanking us over and over again. They leave with huge smiles on their faces.)

Female Customer: “Thank you again!”

Other Customer: “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but over hear. Did you say you just lost your job at [local company]?”

Male Customer: “Yes, I was an IT tech.”

Other Customer: “I own [other computer store in the area], and I’m looking for a new tech. Can you start tomorrow?”

(There were tears all round that night. A week later, the young woman brought in her beautiful daughter and a giant batch of cupcakes for the pharmacy staff. Best night at work ever!)

[florida80]

Probably Needs Some Valium Too
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MAY 17, 2013
(A customer comes into the drive thru.)

Me: “Hello, how are you, ma’am?”

Customer: “I want my Nexium.”

(She provides her information, but I see that nothing has been filled.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; I don’t see that we have anything ready for you.”

Customer: “This always f****** happens! I’ve been trying to get my f****** Nexium for a month! I dropped it off here a month ago!”

Me: “You dropped it off at this location?”

(I ask this, as there are many branches of our chain within a 10 mile radius of each other.)

Customer: “Yes, I only fill here!”

Me: “Ma’am, there is no Nexium in your profile.”

Customer: “Yes their f****** is! This always f****** happens!”

(My coworker takes over, trying to calm her down. My manager has had enough of her mouth, and he goes to tell her off.)

Manager: “Ma’am! You have never filled here! It is not here! We have nothing for you!”

(The customer continues to curse up a storm. Another customer stares at the drive thru window, looking between it and me.)

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “That b**** be crazy.”

Me: “I agree, sir.”

(I suddenly hear the drive thru window slam, and the car speed away.)

Me: “Sorry you had to hear all that, sir.”

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Nah it’s cool. Hey if something happens, I heard everything!”

[florida80]

It’s Apparent He’s A Parent
PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 13, 2013
(My first child is sick and has been up all night crying with a fever. Before the store even opens, I am in the parking lot staring through the store window at the medicine I need with my sick, screaming baby. I can see and hear two employees nearby watching and making fun of me.)

Rude Employee #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Oh my god, do you see that? That crack w**** is here with her crack baby so early in the morning! I thought those kinds of people only came out at night.”

Rude Employee #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “I guess you can never tell. I wonder what’s so important that she has to bring her screaming brat with her before we even open?”

(I ignore them as I wait patiently, but after another ten minutes my patience is wearing thin. I am about to tell them off when another employee walks up to the front doors and opens them.)

Nice Employee: “Ma’am, I know the store isn’t open for another twenty minutes, but I wanted to check on you.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. My baby has had a fever all night and just won’t sleep! I only need something to help her fever so she’ll stop crying.”

Nice Employee: “I see. Would you come with me, please?”

(He opens the door for me and lets me into the store.)

Nice Employee: “Get what you need and I’ll meet you on register one to ring you out.”

Rude Employee #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Hey! Don’t let that crack w**** in here. Her baby’s not sick! She’s just scamming you so she can shoplift!”

(Fortunately, the nice employee ignores them and helps me find what I need and walks me to the front of the store)

Nice Employee: “I’m sorry we let you wait out there so long. If I had known I would have gotten to you sooner. Unfortunately the registers are still not open, so I can’t ring you in, but I can let you go home with the medicine.”

Me: “But I have to pay for it. Let me at least leave some money here. You’ve been so nice; you can keep the extra as a tip.”

Nice Employee: “Ma’am, that’s very sweet of you, but I must insist you take your medicine and your sweet little girl home. As a single father, I have been in your shoes before, so I would like to pay for your baby’s medicine.”

Me: “Thank you. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you so much!”

(I always go back to that store just because of that one nice employee. He totally makes up for the rude ones.)

[florida80]

Makes A Difference When Cashiers Are Minus A Few Brain Cells
PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 8, 2013
(I’m buying a common cold medicine that is OTC, but you have to be 18 to buy. At the time, I’m 19.)

Cashier: “I need to see your ID.”

(I hand it to her.)

Cashier: “Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t sell this to you.”

Me: “What? Why not? ”

Cashier: “Well, I have to be able to verify you’re over 18.”

Me: “Is there a problem with my ID?”

Cashier: “You were born in 1989.”

Me: “Yes, and it’s 2008, so I’m 19.”

Cashier: “But you could be lying because I don’t know how to figure out how old you are if you were born in 1989. It’s too hard to subtract!”

[florida80]

Making The Best Of Uncomfortable Situations
AWESOME, CURRENT EVENTS, EMPLOYEES, MASSACHUSETTS, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 1, 2021
My town has put together a free test site for the health crisis for residents. I heard that the morning was swamped. People were in line for hours. I have pre-registered and I go as soon as I get out of work. Fortunately, the lines have died down significantly, and I am the second car in my line.

Unfortunately, when I check in, they have just run out of tubes. I don’t have any plans for the rest of the evening, so I don’t mind waiting. We chat a bit about how the lines have been, it being a successful event, and whatnot. Not three minutes later, another worker drives our way with another box of tubes. The two check-in workers start cheering.

Worker #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Woo-hoo!”

Worker #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Go, Dave! You’re awesome, Dave!”

Me: “Not all heroes wear capes!”

Worker #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “You’re a hero, Dave!”

They set me up and send me off to the testing station.

Me: “Hello!”

Worker #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “Welcome! Have you done this before?”

Me: “Yeah… Once… A while ago.”

Worker #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “You nervous?”

Me: “Ehhh…”

Worker #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “Here’s what I like to tell people. We don’t go in any further than you would when you pick your nose… and we both know you pick your nose.”

I burst out laughing. Thanks, test site workers! You sure know how to ease tension!

[florida80]

Scarlet Fever Once In An Azure Moon
BIZARRE, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, FLORIDA, HOSPITAL, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 30, 2020
I’m a nurse on a medical surgical floor. I have a new patient with an odd rash all over.

Doctor: “I’m stumped. I’ve put in a consult with infectious disease and dermatology. Have you ever seen anything like this?”

Me: “Well, yeah, but the patient isn’t a toddler.”

Doctor: “What does being a toddler have to do with anything?”

Me: “Well, if this patient was a toddler, I’d swear he had scarlet fever.”

Doctor: “Crap! I didn’t even think of that for a forty-something-year-old.”

Swabs came back positive for strep and yes, a forty-something-year-old can apparently get scarlet fever.

[florida80]

Hard To Remember Life In The Before Times
ARIZONA, CURRENT EVENTS, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 27, 2020
It’s Wednesday and I have been sick for a couple of days. I try to be seen at urgent care, but due to the health crisis, they have nothing available until Friday afternoon. I take the Friday slot. Since some of my symptoms could also be symptoms of the current spreading illness, I also schedule a free screening at a county test site on Thursday. I get the results on Friday morning before my urgent care visit.

An hour and a half after my slot, the provider is able to see me. I describe my symptoms.

Me: “I have a cough, sore throat, fatigue, and a little shortness of breath. I did get a [illness] test and it was negative.”

Provider: “It was negative?”

Me: “Yes, thankfully.”

Provider: “Then why are you here?”

Me: *Taken a little aback* “Because I’m sick?”

The provider finished the exam and diagnosed me with an upper respiratory infection.

[florida80]

A Very Thorough Bath
ASSISTED LIVING, CURRENT EVENTS, EDITORS' CHOICE, FUNNY, HEALTH & BODY, PATIENTS, USA, WORDPLAY | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 24, 2020
I have a friend who works in an assisted living facility; her job includes cleaning patients. One day, my friend was giving a sponge bath to a male patient when she heard him say something from under his mask.

Patient: “I think my testicles are black.”

She peeked under the towel.

Friend: “No, they look fine.”

She then proceeded to clean him and he continued to ask her about his testicles, and each time, she would respond by lifting the towel and reassuring him that they were fine.

Finally, the patient took off his mask.

Patient: “I think my tests should be back.”

[florida80]

Let’s Hope This Isn’t A Repeat Problem
EMPLOYEES, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PHARMACY, STUPID, UK | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 21, 2020
Our general practitioner sends any prescriptions straight to our local pharmacy for us to pick up. For repeat prescriptions, we pop the request into the GP and then the medications are ready for pickup three days later.

Today, I have a telephone appointment and my GP prescribes some medication to start taking straight away and sends the prescription over to the pharmacy. I dropped a repeat prescription request into the GP two days ago, but I know those meds should not be ready yet.

Me: “I’m here to pick up a prescription for [My Name].”

The pharmacist assistant checks the computer.

Pharmacist Assistant: “I’ve got a few different items on here for you. Did you put in a repeat?”

Me: “Yes, but I don’t mind if they’re not ready. I just need [medication].”

Pharmacist Assistant: “Did you see your GP today?”

Me: “Yes, I had an appointment about two hours ago; he said he’d send the prescription over.”

Pharmacist Assistant: “Okay, hold on.”

She goes to speak to the pharmacist.

Pharmacist: “[My Name]? Your repeat prescription has only just been sent to us. It takes three days.”

Me: “Yes, I know. I saw my GP today and he gave me [medication]; that’s what I need to pick up.”

Pharmacist: “We can’t issue your prescriptions today, I’m afraid. We haven’t processed them yet.”

Me: “I don’t want my repeat prescriptions today. I’ll come back for them. I just want [medication].”

Pharmacist: “Your repeat will be ready tomorrow. If you’d like to come back we can issue everything together.”

Me: “Look, I spoke to my GP today, he sent the prescription for [medication] today, and he wants me to start taking it today. Can I please just pick up [medication]?”

Pharmacist: “You don’t want to wait for the repeat to be ready?”

Me: “No. I want [medication]. I do not want to wait for the repeat. I will come back tomorrow for the repeat. I want [medication] today. Can I pick up [medication], just [medication], only [medication], right now? And I will pick up my repeat tomorrow!”

Pharmacist: “Uh… let me get that for you.”

A few minutes later, the assistant calls me over.

Pharmacist Assistant: “[My Name]? I’ve got a prescription for you here. Would you like to pick it up now or add it to your repeat for pickup tomorrow?”

Me: “Really?!”

[florida80]

That’s Not Innie Problem At All
CONNECTICUT, FUNNY, PETS & ANIMALS, USA, VET | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 19, 2020
This happens many years ago with my first cat. I’ve already had her as part of the family for several years, but when I move out on my own, she becomes my sole responsibility.

One day, I am rubbing her belly like usual and I feel a strange lump. I can’t figure out what it could be, so I call the vet in order to have her checked out, worried it might be a tumor. I take her in the next day and the vet looks her over.

Me: “Is she going to be okay?”

Vet: *Giggles* “Yes, she’s totally fine. That’s her belly button.”

And that’s how I found out my cat had an outie!

[florida80]

Scarlet Fever Once In An Azure Moon
BIZARRE, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, FLORIDA, HOSPITAL, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 30, 2020
I’m a nurse on a medical surgical floor. I have a new patient with an odd rash all over.

Doctor: “I’m stumped. I’ve put in a consult with infectious disease and dermatology. Have you ever seen anything like this?”

Me: “Well, yeah, but the patient isn’t a toddler.”

Doctor: “What does being a toddler have to do with anything?”

Me: “Well, if this patient was a toddler, I’d swear he had scarlet fever.”

Doctor: “Crap! I didn’t even think of that for a forty-something-year-old.”

Swabs came back positive for strep and yes, a forty-something-year-old can apparently get scarlet fever.

[florida80]

Hard To Remember Life In The Before Times
ARIZONA, CURRENT EVENTS, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 27, 2020
It’s Wednesday and I have been sick for a couple of days. I try to be seen at urgent care, but due to the health crisis, they have nothing available until Friday afternoon. I take the Friday slot. Since some of my symptoms could also be symptoms of the current spreading illness, I also schedule a free screening at a county test site on Thursday. I get the results on Friday morning before my urgent care visit.

An hour and a half after my slot, the provider is able to see me. I describe my symptoms.

Me: “I have a cough, sore throat, fatigue, and a little shortness of breath. I did get a [illness] test and it was negative.”

Provider: “It was negative?”

Me: “Yes, thankfully.”

Provider: “Then why are you here?”

Me: *Taken a little aback* “Because I’m sick?”

The provider finished the exam and diagnosed me with an upper respiratory infection.

[florida80]

A Very Thorough Bath
ASSISTED LIVING, CURRENT EVENTS, EDITORS' CHOICE, FUNNY, HEALTH & BODY, PATIENTS, USA, WORDPLAY | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 24, 2020
I have a friend who works in an assisted living facility; her job includes cleaning patients. One day, my friend was giving a sponge bath to a male patient when she heard him say something from under his mask.

Patient: “I think my testicles are black.”

She peeked under the towel.

Friend: “No, they look fine.”

She then proceeded to clean him and he continued to ask her about his testicles, and each time, she would respond by lifting the towel and reassuring him that they were fine.

Finally, the patient took off his mask.

Patient: “I think my tests should be back.”

[florida80]

Let’s Hope This Isn’t A Repeat Problem
EMPLOYEES, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PHARMACY, STUPID, UK | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 21, 2020
Our general practitioner sends any prescriptions straight to our local pharmacy for us to pick up. For repeat prescriptions, we pop the request into the GP and then the medications are ready for pickup three days later.

Today, I have a telephone appointment and my GP prescribes some medication to start taking straight away and sends the prescription over to the pharmacy. I dropped a repeat prescription request into the GP two days ago, but I know those meds should not be ready yet.

Me: “I’m here to pick up a prescription for [My Name].”

The pharmacist assistant checks the computer.

Pharmacist Assistant: “I’ve got a few different items on here for you. Did you put in a repeat?”

Me: “Yes, but I don’t mind if they’re not ready. I just need [medication].”

Pharmacist Assistant: “Did you see your GP today?”

Me: “Yes, I had an appointment about two hours ago; he said he’d send the prescription over.”

Pharmacist Assistant: “Okay, hold on.”

She goes to speak to the pharmacist.

Pharmacist: “[My Name]? Your repeat prescription has only just been sent to us. It takes three days.”

Me: “Yes, I know. I saw my GP today and he gave me [medication]; that’s what I need to pick up.”

Pharmacist: “We can’t issue your prescriptions today, I’m afraid. We haven’t processed them yet.”

Me: “I don’t want my repeat prescriptions today. I’ll come back for them. I just want [medication].”

Pharmacist: “Your repeat will be ready tomorrow. If you’d like to come back we can issue everything together.”

Me: “Look, I spoke to my GP today, he sent the prescription for [medication] today, and he wants me to start taking it today. Can I please just pick up [medication]?”

Pharmacist: “You don’t want to wait for the repeat to be ready?”

Me: “No. I want [medication]. I do not want to wait for the repeat. I will come back tomorrow for the repeat. I want [medication] today. Can I pick up [medication], just [medication], only [medication], right now? And I will pick up my repeat tomorrow!”

Pharmacist: “Uh… let me get that for you.”

A few minutes later, the assistant calls me over.

Pharmacist Assistant: “[My Name]? I’ve got a prescription for you here. Would you like to pick it up now or add it to your repeat for pickup tomorrow?”

Me: “Really?!”

[florida80]

Let’s Hope This Negative Becomes A Positive
PHARMACY | WORKING | OCTOBER 3, 2013
(My sister and her husband are having trouble conceiving. It’s been four long and emotional years for all of us. She forgot to buy pregnancy tests last time she was out, so I offer to get some on my way over to her house. I hand over my items to the cashier.)

Cashier: *picking up pregnancy test with a gleeful smile* “Oooh! Is this a good thing or a bad thing?”

Me: “…what?”

Cashier: “Are you hoping you are or hoping you aren’t?”

Me: “That is a pretty personal question.”

Cashier: “Yeah, but I’m stuck here all day with nothing to do. So I’m thinking you cheated on your boyfriend and hope you aren’t carrying some random guy’s kid!” *huge grin* “Am I right?”

Me: “They’re not for me, but that’s really none of your business.”

Cashier: *offended and hostile* “Y’know, it’s people like YOU who make the world a terrible place! Try being friendly instead of such a b****!”

Me: “Just finish ringing me up, please.”

Cashier: “I HOPE YOUR B****** KID HAS A.D.D.!”

[florida80]

Doing A Real Job On Doing A Real Job
PHARMACY | WORKING | OCTOBER 3, 2013
(I have just gotten off of a split shift, during my second seven-day work week. My children have joined me for the last part of my second shift to help me out and we are heading home. It’s just after 8:30 pm, and I’ve been at it since 6 am. We go to the pharmacy next to my store to buy some ibuprofen, and I go up to the pharmacy desk to pay since the main cash has a huge lineup of people buying toilet paper and snack foods. After waiting about two minutes the pharmacy technician, who’s been looking at me and sighing deeply, finally comes to serve me.)

Employee: “Are you here to pick up a prescription?”

Me: “No, I’d just like to pay for these.”

Employee: *as she’s scanning my pills* “Okay, well this cash is only for prescription medication purchases. You should really have gone to the main cash.”

(I’ve often seen customers paying for everything from band aids to makeup at this cash without buying prescriptions, as long as they had some sort of medication with them from the pharmacy area where I picked up my pills.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that. I just assumed that you pay for medicine at the pharmacy counter. I’ll keep that in mind for next time.”

Employee: “Yeah, well we’re really busy you know, and this takes me away from doing all my work. Now it’s going to take me even longer to finish up and get out of here tonight.”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize. I work in retail myself, I know how frustrating it is when you’re busy and you have to stop to help a customer or coworker. It can be—”

Employee: “And you know, just because it doesn’t look like we’re doing anything, it doesn’t mean we’re not busy. We have a lot to do here and this is really annoying! You know, people are just leaving us with their prescriptions all the time.”

Me: “Well, that is your job but still I can understand—”

Employee: “When customers like you waste our time like this it’s really annoying. It’s going to take us even longer to finish up now.”

(The pharmacist finally hands me my change. My children are clinging to me nervously and the customers around me are all shuffling around awkwardly, trying not to look our way. I’ve had enough.)

Me: “Look, I’ve literally been working since 6am. I worked seven days in the last week, I have one day off this week, and I’ll be working from home, and then I work another seven days. I am exhausted, and I regularly have to stop what I’m doing to help my customers, coworkers and employees even when they really could have managed without me. I regularly have to work late or start early due to these interruptions, and my job is 90% physical work on the floor doing heavy lifting and going up and down ladders in a dusty stockroom. You are preaching to the choir here lady. And I’ll tell you, I have never spoken to a customer the way you just spoke to me, or made them feel guilty about coming in to shop and making me do my JOB! Thank you and good night.”

[florida80]

Cold And Uncaring
PHARMACY | WORKING | SEPTEMBER 12, 2013
(Our pharmacy has recently switched to a new manufacturer of Lorazepam, which requires refrigeration. I overhear a conversation between a patient’s caregiver, and the pharmacist.)

Caregiver: “So I was told this stuff has to be kept cold? Is it still good if it wasn’t?”

Pharmacist: “No, you’re going to have to get it replaced. If it’s been left in room temperature for more than a few hours, I cannot recommend you giving it to your patient.”

Caregiver: “Well nobody told me it had to be kept cold! I want a free replacement.”

Pharmacist: “We put ‘REFRIGERATE’ on every label; don’t you read your patient’s labels?”

Caregiver: “I don’t have time to read all the labels.”

Pharmacist: “Then how do you know you’re giving the drugs properly to the patient?”

Caregiver: “…”

Pharmacist: “That’ll be $30 for a new bottle.”

[florida80]

Drugs Can Make You See Things
PHARMACY | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 2, 2013
(I am at the pharmacy picking up my prescription. I am standing in line behind a very elderly lady.)

Pharmacist: “Hello, ma’am. What can I do for you?”

Elderly Lady: “I am picking up my prescription. It’s under Mrs. [last name].”

(I overhear the elderly lady, and realize that she has the same last name as I do. This is not a totally uncommon name, but it doesn’t happen too often.)

Pharmacist: “Okay! Here we go I think it’s… huh…”

(The pharmacist looks confused as she picks up some pills.)

Pharmacist: “Can you tell me your first name please? I don’t think I grabbed the right one.”

Elderly Lady: “Sure, it’s [first name].”

(By a crazy coincidence, this is my first name too! At this point the pharmacist widens her eyes in shock as she stares at the pill box in her hand. She starts to stammer.)

Pharmacist: “But… um… I don’t… uhh… how?”

Me: “Um, I think those might be mine. I have the same first name and last name. Those are my birth control pills.”

Pharmacist: “Oh thank GOD! I thought I was in the twilight zone!”

Elderly Lady: “Oh dear! No wonder! No I don’t want THOSE!”

[florida80]

Stupidity Is Its Own Reward, Part 2
PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 23, 2013
(I’m about to ring a customer up. I’m supposed to ask if they have our rewards card, and if they say no, I offer them to sign up for it, as it’s free of charge and relatively quick to do.)

Me: “Good evening, ma’am. Do you have a rewards card?”

Customer: “No. What’s the benefit of it?”

Me: “The rewards card allows you to get the sale prices of whatever’s on sale for the week, and with certain sale items and over the counter medications. You build up rewards points, which you can use to save money later on.”

Customer: “Okay. Do I need anything for it?”

Me: “All we need is some basic info, just for identification purposes. Would you like to sign up? It’s free of charge.”

Customer: *says nothing, fumbles around her purse*

Me: “Ma’am? Would you like to sign up for the card?”

(The customer takes out her credit card and swipes it, paying for the purchase.)

Me: “Okay.”

(I hand her the receipt and her bags.)

Me: “Have a good night.”

Customer: “So, do I get the rewards now?”

Me: *screaming internally*

[florida80]

Misconceiving The Point
PHARMACY | WORKING | AUGUST 21, 2013
(I am a 20-year-old female, but I guess I look younger. This occurs the first time I am buying condoms. I feel a little awkward, since it is my only item, and I’ve never bought them before.)

Cashier: *holding up the box of condoms* “Will this be all?”

Me: “Yep.”

Cashier: “I don’t think I can sell these to you.”

Me: “W-why?”

Cashier: “I think you’re too young to be having sex.”

Me: “That’s absurd! I’m 20 years old!”

Cashier: “Yeah, okay. Prove it! Let me see your driver’s license.”

(I start to go through my purse, when an old lady in line behind me speaks up towards the cashier.)

Old Lady: “Hey, you pimply a**-hole! Just let the girl buy her stuff. She’s trying to buy contraception to have safe sex instead of risking an STD or a pregnancy. Even if she was younger than 20, and I believe she is telling the truth, you should still sell them to her to prevent another teenage pregnancy! On top of it, we are on a college campus! How many young teenagers do you see around here? Most of the people who shop here are 17 or older! Just give her the d*** condoms!”

(The cashier wordlessly scans my items and bags them, and takes my cash.)

Me: “Have a nice day, jack-a**! Oh, and I’m paying for her stuff, too.”

[florida80]

Make His Life A Living Bell
PHARMACY | ROMANTIC | AUGUST 13, 2013
(I am a cashier at a small town pharmacy. An older customer walks in making a jingling sound, and I see that he has bells tied to his shoelaces. It is August, and he appears anything but jolly, so I am perplexed by the bells.)

Me: “Sir, if you don’t mind my asking: why the bells?”

Customer: “My wife is going deaf, and she gets mad when I ‘sneak up on her.’ This was her solution.”

[florida80]

In Need Of Valium
PHARMACY | RELATED | AUGUST 7, 2013
(I am eight years old. My mom and I are shopping, and we pass the drug store.)

Mom: “I need to go there.”

Me: “Mommy, no, I’m tired! I wanna go home; let’s go home!”

Mom: “No. It’ll be quick.”

(Mom pulls me into the drug store.)

Me: “Why do we have to go here? It’s a bad place!”

Mom: “Oh, really? Why do you say that.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s called a drug store, and I heard that drugs are bad! On TV!”

Mom: “Uh huh.”

Me: *to other customers* “DRUGGIES! You’re bad people! Drugs are BAD—”

(My mom hustles me out of there and never takes me back!)

[florida80]

You Really Don’t Want That On An Open Wound
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 17, 2013
(I’m currently doing inventory at the local pharmacy where I work. An older customer comes up to me with her friend, in a panic.)

Customer: “Can you help me?! I need some ‘Polysperm’!”

(I assume she means ‘Polysporin’, the topical ointment that treats infections.)

Me: “Did you mean ‘Polysporin’?”

Customer: “Oh, no! I DEFINITELY need some ‘Polysperm’!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I haven’t heard of that product. May I ask what you are using it for?”

Customer: “Oh, I scraped my elbow, and want to put that ‘Polysperm’ on it!”

Me: “Okay, let me show you where it’s stocked.”

(I point to the display of ‘Polysporin’.)

Customer: *to her friend* “Young kids these days! They don’t know anything!”

[florida80]

An Impatient Patient
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 11, 2013
(It is a Sunday, so not many pharmacies are open. I’ve come in with my friend, who is rather unwell. The staff know my husband and I quite well, as we’re in there for our regular medication. Additionally, I have multiple piercings, a rather large tattoo on my nape of my neck, and teal green hair.)

Pharmacist: “Won’t be long; please take a seat.”

(We do, and I give the tech I know well a smile and a nod in greeting. Another customer enters.)

Customer: “How long will it be for my medication?”

Pharmacist: “About 20 minutes. We have a few people in front of you.”

Customer: “Fine. I wouldn’t come here if you weren’t the only pharmacy open on a bloody Sunday; you’re always slow!”

(The pharmacist brushes it off and goes to make up medications.)

Customer: “I’m only having to wait this long because of stupid drug freaks.”

(My friend turns to say something, but I put my hand on her arm and shake my head.)

Customer: “Yeah, I mean you, green freak! What, come in for your methadone early, and they won’t give it to you?”

(I’ve deliberately turned my back on him at this point.)

Customer: “F****** druggies! We pay for you to get f****** high.”

Pharmacy Tech: “Sir, can you watch your language please?”

Customer: “No I f****** won’t! That stupid b**** is the reason I have to wait so f****** long! She’s strung out, look at the f****** circles under her eyes; they’re all bloodshot!”

Pharmacy Tech: “I’ll have you know that young lady there is a full-time carer for her husband, who is disabled. And all this whilst being disabled herself. She looks like she hasn’t slept in a week because she probably hasn’t; between caring for him, volunteering with [national advice organization], and helping out her friend here who is rather unwell. And I don’t personally care if my taxes are being used to help her out; I wish there were more people like her out there!”

Customer: “I… I… I demand to see a pharmacist!”

Pharmacist: “Sir, I am not going to reprimand my tech for handling that much better than I would have. Do not insult my customers. Here is your prescription back; please fill it somewhere else.”

(The customer stomps out.)

Me: “I’m really sorry I caused that.”

Pharmacist: “Eh, don’t worry; he’s always an a** when he comes in here. Besides, he has an exemption certificate, which means our taxes are paying for his meds too!”

[florida80]

A Leftist Agenda
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 29, 2013
(I am filling out a form to refill my medication. A fellow customer, here for a flu shot, sits down next to me. Note that I’m left-handed.)

Customer: “Woah! How are you doing that with your left hand?”

Me: “I’m left-handed.”

Customer: “Don’t you people like, flip around letters?”

Me: “No, can’t say I do. I think you’re thinking of dyslexia, which some left-handed people have.”

Customer: “Huh…”

(The customer notices that I’m writing with a gel pen.)

Customer: “Wait… you people can’t use gel pens! How do you write with that?”

Me: “Carefully.”

Customer: “What would happen if you used your right hand? Would it, like, work?”

Me: “Well, for most of us, no. My left hand is like your right hand, and my right hand is like your left hand. You could probably use your left hand if you had to, but it’s not ideal. The same goes for me with my right hand.”

Customer: “That’s so weird! I’ve never seen anything like this!”

[florida80]

Diabetes Meets Rabies
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 27, 2013
(A customer is picking up some diabetic test-strips, and I am ringing him up.)

Me: “How are you doing today, sir?”

Customer: “I’m alright; how about yourself?”

Me: “I’m doing great, thanks. Did you have any questions for the pharmacist?”

(The customer gestures at the test strips, jokingly.)

Customer: “Yeah, do I really have to poke myself for these to work?”

Me: “Yep, I’m afraid so.”

Customer: “Can’t I just poke you instead?”

Me: *laughing* “Sorry, I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way, sir.”

(The customer gestures at my multiple facial piercings.)

Customer: “You look like the type that would enjoy that, though.”

Me: “Your doctor might have a problem with that, though.”

(When a customer picks up a prescription, they’re required by law to sign, stating that they’ve received it. Our pharmacy does this through an electronic prompt. The customer looks at it.)

Customer: “What’s this?”

Me: “It’s just a way to say that you’ve gotten your prescription. That way there’s no confusion later. It’s as much for your protection as ours really.”

Customer: “Well what happens if I don’t sign it?”

Me: “Then unfortunately, we’re not allowed to give you your prescriptions.”

Customer: “WELL I GUESS I’M NOT GETTING ANYTHING TODAY!”

(The customer THROWS the electronic pen across the counter, hitting me in the face. He turns, and practically skips away. The pharmacist and I aren’t sure if he is joking, but by the end of the day he still hasn’t come back!)

[florida80]

The Opposite Of Disappearing Ink
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 21, 2013
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it looks like this prescription is expired.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “The law says we can’t take prescriptions this old.”

Customer: “But you said it’s expired. Where does it say that?”

Me: “It doesn’t, but see the date? That’s several months old. We couldn’t fill it now if we tried.”

Customer: “You’re telling me if I’d brought this in exactly as it is just a few months ago, you’d have been able to take it?”

Me: “Theoretically, yes.”

Customer: “So why won’t you take it now? Nothing’s changed!”

Me: “Except today’s date, sir. The prescription expired a few weeks after it was written. You can even see the disclaimer written at the bottom.”

Customer: “So why doesn’t it notify me when it expires? It ought to say ‘expired’ on it!”

Me: “Um… the paper isn’t going to magically print the word ‘expired’ if you wait too long to bring it in.”

Customer: “Well, it should!”

[florida80]

This Cashier’s Number Is Up
PHARMACY | WORKING | JUNE 9, 2013
(I am 20 years old at this time. Valentine’s Day is approaching, so I go out to the store to buy some fake wine and chocolates for my boyfriend.)

Cashier: “Oooh, a date for Valentine’s Day?”

Me: “Yep! We’re going out to dinner, and I thought I’d buy this stuff for dessert.”

Cashier: “Nice! Can I see some ID for the wine?”

Me: “Oh, that’s grape juice. It doesn’t have alcohol.”

Cashier: “No, I need to see your ID for the wine. I can’t sell it to you if you’re under 21.”

Me: “No, it’s sparkling grape juice. I’m 20 and I’ve bought it before. It doesn’t have any alcohol in it.”

Cashier: “I suppose I can let it slide for a pretty girl like you.”

Me: “Excuse me? First off, that would be illegal if this was real wine, and second, I just mentioned I have a boyfriend. It’s fake wine. Please just let me buy this and leave.”

Cashier: “No need to be like that. I’ll sell it to you.”

Me: “Thank you! What’s my total?”

Cashier: “Your phone number.”

Me: “What?”

Cashier: “I’ll give this to you for your phone number! I can take you out someplace really nice to eat, and then we can go back to my place if you know what I mean. I get free condoms for working here!”

Me: “Here’s $10. This should cover my purchases. I’m going to leave and pretend you didn’t just ask me to have sex with you in exchange for dinner and my groceries.”

[florida80]

Needs To Take A Chill Pill, Part 2
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 4, 2013
Me: “Thank you for calling [Pharmacy], how can I—”

Customer: “So I just requested a refill, and I want to know when it will be ready.”

Me: “Okay, what is your name?”

(The customer gives her name. I see that no refill was requested. The medication is out of refills, and needs approval from the doctor.)

Me: “I am very sorry, but we must not have gotten your refill request. I see that there are no refills available. I am going to have to fax the doctor.”

Customer: “I did that. I went to their site and asked the doctor to do that. It should have just given my request to you, and it should be ready by now.”

Me: “So, which website did you go to? Was it ours, or your doctor’s site?”

Customer: “His, duh! How can you be that stupid? I requested it, and you see that request, and then you just fill out the paper to give me refills. All the doctor does is sign it. It should take like all of five minutes to get that done. So when the h*** is my prescription going to be ready?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am sorry. We are in no way connected to your doctor’s office. They have their own software, and we have ours. We cannot in any way see what you have requested with your doctor’s office. We have to wait until he contacts us, and sometimes that can take up to three days for a response. Now if you are out of this medica—”

Customer: “This is unacceptable! I know how these computer things work. You can look up any person’s prescriptions anywhere and anytime, no matter what pharmacy they are at! Now fill my f****** prescription!”

Me: “Ma’am, there is no way I can do that. That would be in direct violation of federal law. There is a privacy act that means that we cannot share medical information with anyone else without your direct consent. Would you like it if I could access your medical record right now and see things like what you went to the ER for?”

(Note: this customer is a notorious drug seeker, and is well known at ERs and Urgent Cares throughout the area. She also knows that we know.)

Customer: “…uh, no.”

Me: “That’s why we can’t see anything your doctor may have on you, or what requests you may have made to him. It’s to protect your privacy. Now since this isn’t a narcotic, I can ask the pharmacist if we can advance you some of your medication until we hear back from the doctor.”

Customer: “Uh yeah, okay. That will be fine then.”

(My pharmacist later pulls me to the side and tells me that I did a great job with a difficult customer, and with keeping my cool. Come Christmas time, I got a few extra bucks in my bonus!)

[florida80]

Doing More Pharm Than Good
CALIFORNIA, EMPLOYEES, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, PHARMACY, SACRAMENTO, USA | WORKING | MAY 31, 2013
(My daughter has a seizure disorder. We are a low-income family, and we get low-cost insurance through the state for her. However, because of this disorder, she has separate insurance through the state; the pharmacy knows this.)

Tech: “Um, okay, so we tried to run your daughter’s medication and it won’t go through. We have to contact [Regular] insurance to see why it won’t go through.”

Me: “Wait, no… you have to run it through [Other] insurance. I called this in like three days ago, and you are now just calling me?! That is the medication she takes for her seizures. I am out, too, and I can’t have her miss a dose.”

Tech: “We did and it didn’t work. You can pay cash for it. That’s $54.99.”

Me: “Look, I am low income. I can’t afford something that expensive. Are you sure you ran it through the right insurance?”

Tech: “Uh, yeah. It’s not my fault you let your insurance lapse or something. You need to call [Regular] insurance and take care of it on your end or else pay cash.”

(I call my daughter’s regular insurance, who confirms my side of things. They call the pharmacy and get them to approve the medication. I call back but request to speak with a pharmacist directly.)

Me: “So, did it work this time?”

Pharmacist: “Yeah, it did. I’m sorry [Tech] was acting that way. She just didn’t want to run it on the other insurance because it takes a few more steps to make.”

Me: “Yeah, I know. I’ve heard this song and dance every month for the last three months and nothing has changed. Look, my kid was totally out of her seizure meds! She could have had a seizure because of your lack of calling me about it in a timely manner and making jump through hoops I don’t need to.”

Pharmacist: “Well, I’m really busy, and I can’t watch everything they do all the time.”

Me: “Wow, you just inspired me to take my business elsewhere and call corporate to complain.”

(Within two hours, my daughter’s prescriptions were transferred to another pharmacy where they DO take the time to run it correctly and call me if/when there is a problem. I recently went back into that first store to return something and there was an entirely new staff in the pharmacy. I hope these ones do actually care!)

[florida80]

One Good Deed Job-Leads To Another
PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 28, 2013
(I am working late at night in a 24-hour pharmacy. There are only three customers in the store: a scruffy but clean young couple and another gentleman. The woman in the young couple is very heavily pregnant, and her partner is picking up the range of baby hats we carry and holding them up against her stomach, then looking at the prices and sadly putting them back. They pick up a packet of the cheapest pain medication we carry and bring it to the counter.)

Female Customer: “I’m sorry, but can you please ask the pharmacist if these are safe for me to take?”

Me: “Of course!”

(While we’re waiting for the pharmacist to come out, they tell me they’re expecting their daughter any day now. The pharmacist has been watching the young couple since they came in.)

Pharmacist: “These are fine, but can I ask why you need them?”

Female Customer: “Oh, I have a horrible cough that’s making my back ache even worse. I can’t get to sleep.”

(The pharmacist goes through a list of cough medicines safe for her to take, before the young man shakes his head with tears in his eyes.)

Male Customer: “I’m sorry, I’ve just lost my job and we really can’t afford any of those. Sorry for wasting your time.”

Pharmacist: “That’s okay, but this packet is damaged, and legally I can’t let you take it. Seeing as it was the last one, let me and [my name] go look in the back for some more.”

(The pharmacist takes me out the back, where he puts three packets of name brand painkillers, four bottles of name brand cough syrup, a wheat bag for her back, a tin of formula, a packet of newborn nappies and a few of the hats the couple was looking at into a box. He hands me the box and tells me to take it out to them. I do and they both burst into tears, thanking us over and over again. They leave with huge smiles on their faces.)

Female Customer: “Thank you again!”

Other Customer: “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but over hear. Did you say you just lost your job at [local company]?”

Male Customer: “Yes, I was an IT tech.”

Other Customer: “I own [other computer store in the area], and I’m looking for a new tech. Can you start tomorrow?”

(There were tears all round that night. A week later, the young woman brought in her beautiful daughter and a giant batch of cupcakes for the pharmacy staff. Best night at work ever!)

[florida80]

Probably Needs Some Valium Too
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MAY 17, 2013
(A customer comes into the drive thru.)

Me: “Hello, how are you, ma’am?”

Customer: “I want my Nexium.”

(She provides her information, but I see that nothing has been filled.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; I don’t see that we have anything ready for you.”

Customer: “This always f****** happens! I’ve been trying to get my f****** Nexium for a month! I dropped it off here a month ago!”

Me: “You dropped it off at this location?”

(I ask this, as there are many branches of our chain within a 10 mile radius of each other.)

Customer: “Yes, I only fill here!”

Me: “Ma’am, there is no Nexium in your profile.”

Customer: “Yes their f****** is! This always f****** happens!”

(My coworker takes over, trying to calm her down. My manager has had enough of her mouth, and he goes to tell her off.)

Manager: “Ma’am! You have never filled here! It is not here! We have nothing for you!”

(The customer continues to curse up a storm. Another customer stares at the drive thru window, looking between it and me.)

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “That b**** be crazy.”

Me: “I agree, sir.”

(I suddenly hear the drive thru window slam, and the car speed away.)

Me: “Sorry you had to hear all that, sir.”

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Nah it’s cool. Hey if something happens, I heard everything!”

[florida80]

It’s Apparent He’s A Parent
PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 13, 2013
(My first child is sick and has been up all night crying with a fever. Before the store even opens, I am in the parking lot staring through the store window at the medicine I need with my sick, screaming baby. I can see and hear two employees nearby watching and making fun of me.)

Rude Employee #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Oh my god, do you see that? That crack w**** is here with her crack baby so early in the morning! I thought those kinds of people only came out at night.”

Rude Employee #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “I guess you can never tell. I wonder what’s so important that she has to bring her screaming brat with her before we even open?”

(I ignore them as I wait patiently, but after another ten minutes my patience is wearing thin. I am about to tell them off when another employee walks up to the front doors and opens them.)

Nice Employee: “Ma’am, I know the store isn’t open for another twenty minutes, but I wanted to check on you.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. My baby has had a fever all night and just won’t sleep! I only need something to help her fever so she’ll stop crying.”

Nice Employee: “I see. Would you come with me, please?”

(He opens the door for me and lets me into the store.)

Nice Employee: “Get what you need and I’ll meet you on register one to ring you out.”

Rude Employee #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Hey! Don’t let that crack w**** in here. Her baby’s not sick! She’s just scamming you so she can shoplift!”

(Fortunately, the nice employee ignores them and helps me find what I need and walks me to the front of the store)

Nice Employee: “I’m sorry we let you wait out there so long. If I had known I would have gotten to you sooner. Unfortunately the registers are still not open, so I can’t ring you in, but I can let you go home with the medicine.”

Me: “But I have to pay for it. Let me at least leave some money here. You’ve been so nice; you can keep the extra as a tip.”

Nice Employee: “Ma’am, that’s very sweet of you, but I must insist you take your medicine and your sweet little girl home. As a single father, I have been in your shoes before, so I would like to pay for your baby’s medicine.”

Me: “Thank you. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you so much!”

(I always go back to that store just because of that one nice employee. He totally makes up for the rude ones.)

[florida80]

Makes A Difference When Cashiers Are Minus A Few Brain Cells
PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 8, 2013
(I’m buying a common cold medicine that is OTC, but you have to be 18 to buy. At the time, I’m 19.)

Cashier: “I need to see your ID.”

(I hand it to her.)

Cashier: “Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t sell this to you.”

Me: “What? Why not? ”

Cashier: “Well, I have to be able to verify you’re over 18.”

Me: “Is there a problem with my ID?”

Cashier: “You were born in 1989.”

Me: “Yes, and it’s 2008, so I’m 19.”

Cashier: “But you could be lying because I don’t know how to figure out how old you are if you were born in 1989. It’s too hard to subtract!”

[florida80]

Don’t Ask What He Puts In His Granola
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MAY 3, 2013
(A customer comes in, and looks confused for several minutes.)

Me: “Sir, can I help you find something?”

Customer: “Where is the yogurt?”

Me: “All of our dairy products are in the cooler.”

Customer: “No, yogurt. You know, yogurt that you put under your arms.”

Me: “…you mean deodorant?”

Customer: “Yes, yogurt!”

Me: “…aisle four.”

[florida80]

Herd Behavior, Part 2
PHARMACY | ROMANTIC | APRIL 26, 2013
(I’m a 25-year-old Brony. I use a Brony lanyard with several Pony buttons on it to wear my name tag, and a wallet that has a short leather Rainbow Dash tail sticking out of my back pocket. I also have looks that some consider girly, and am often confused for a girl. I am serving a male customer who appears to be around my age.)

Customer: “Hi… I’m here to pick up my Dad’s prescriptions.”

Me: “Certainly, I just need the name and date of birth.”

Customer: “So, when do you get off?”

Me: “Uh… why?”

Customer: “Well, I was wondering if you might want to go out for drinks a little later.”

Me: “Whoa, buddy, stop right there. I’m probably not your type, anyway, since I’m a guy.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, I can tell. I like your wallet by the way.”

Me: “Thanks. I’m a Brony, but, uh… I don’t really swing that way, man. I have a girlfriend; she actually gave me the bracelet as a gift.”

(I take out my wallet, and show him the picture of us in the front.)

Customer: “Oh! That’s a cute picture. That’s too bad.”

Me: “No big deal, though. I’m actually kind of flattered; you’re the first guy to hit on me thinking I’m a guy. Usually it’s some pervert that thinks I’m a girl. It’s usually one of those ‘anything that moves and has boobs’ types.”

Customer: “Hah! No way! Have a good one. Gimme a brohoof, and tell your girlfriend she’s lucky.”

(We brohoof, and he leaves. Thank Celestia for people who can take ‘no’ for an answer!)

[florida80]

Coworkers-In-Arms
PHARMACY | WORKING | APRIL 22, 2013
(When we get truck, they normally try and schedule it so at least one male is working to help, since the boxes are stacked up very high and often quite heavy. On this particular day however it’s me and the store manager who is notoriously lazy. I’m only five feet tall and he’s well over six feet.)

Store Manager: “[My name], I need you to start sorting the totes.”

Me: “I’m going to need some help.”

Store Manager: “There’s no reason you can’t do it!”

Me: “So, you think I should be able to scale the ladder, lift a bulky 35 pound tote and make my way safely back down?”

Store Manager: “Yes, why is that so hard?”

Me: “It’s not safe.”

Store Manager: “I don’t care how you do it. Just get it done!”

(He stalks off while I try and figure out how to do this. One of our pharmacy techs cuts through the backroom and sees me; I’m visibly upset at this point.)

Pharmacy Tech: “Hey, what are you doing?”

Me: “[Store manager] left me alone to try and get all these totes down.”

Pharmacy Tech: “Right, like that’s totally safe.”

Me: “He doesn’t care. I’m just trying to figure out the best way to do it to avoid not only hurting myself, but breaking anything.”

Pharmacy Tech: “Yeah, hang on…”

(He goes back into the pharmacy before reappearing and shucking his vest.)

Pharmacy Tech: “We’re slow, and like h*** I’m letting you do this by yourself. The pharmacist told me to go ahead and help you.”

Me: “Won’t you get in trouble?”

Pharmacy Tech: “I’d like to see him try and get me in trouble.”

(The tech helps me get the down so I can more easily sort the totes. After we’ve finished, the store manager shows back up.)

Store Manager: “I can’t believe you’ve only gotten this much done!”

Me: “Well, maybe if you were actually halfway competent you would have realized that you were supposed to be helping me! I’m one person, what exactly have you been doing all this time? Sit around on your butt texting in the office, most likely!”

Store Manager: “You can’t talk to me that way! I’m your boss!”

Me: “Not anymore!”

(I threw my name tag at him and walked out. Several other members of management called to try and get me to come back, but I refused. I found a job at another pharmacy and shortly later, my pharmacy tech buddy joined me there!)

[florida80]

Prescribing Perspective
PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 16, 2013
Me: “How may I help you, ma’am?”

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “I’m picking up a script for [name].”

(I proceed to look it up. However, the system alerts me that we do not have anything ready.)

Me: “I don’t see that we have anything ready for you, ma’am.”

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “What do you mean, you don’t have anything! They called two days ago!”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am. If a prescription sits on our shelf for too long, we have to put it back on our stock shelf.”

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “It’s only been a week! That’s just stupid! Give me back my script! I’ll go to [rival store]! Only one week! Absurd!”

(I escort her to my co-worker, so that I may help the other customers in line.)

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Oh, honey, I think I may have done the same thing and waited too long; can you check?”

Me: “Certainly, sir.”

(I check, and indeed his was placed back to stock as well.)

Me: “Yes, sir, I’m afraid so.”

(Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) speaks loud enough for everyone to hear.)

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Oh, shoot. IT’S PURELY MY FAULT FOR FORGETTING, EVEN AFTER Y’ALL WERE SO NICE TO CALL ME TWICE. Thank you, sugar; I’ll go talk to [co-worker].”

[florida80]

Prescription Affliction
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 27, 2013
(I am a pharmacy technician. The pharmacist receives a call.)

Caller: “This is Lisa; I am calling from Dr. [Name]’s office. I need to call in a prescription for a patient.”

Pharmacist: “Sure, what is the patient’s name?”

Caller: “It is [Patient].”

Pharmacist: “And the prescription?”

Caller: “It’s [narcotic], 90 pills, three times a day.”

Pharmacist: “Okay, thanks.”

(The pharmacist hangs up and turns to me, frowning.)

Pharmacist: “Do you know anything about this?”

Me: “What? No, why?”

(The pharmacist shows me the called-in prescription.)

Me: “Oh! Lisa was fired months ago. You had better call the police.”

(When Lisa came in to pick up the narcotic prescription for her boyfriend, the police were there to arrest her. The doctor she used to work for is my father; she was trying to use his license number to get pills from a dozen nearby pharmacies.)

[florida80]

You Got Dad’s Back
HEALTH & BODY, JERK, PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 26, 2013
(I am eight years old. My mother, father, and I are all in the chemist to get some medication. My father has a rare spinal condition which is causing him to wobble when he walks, even with a frame. We’re waiting at the counter and hear a customer behind us make a remark under their breath; deliberately loud enough for us to hear.)

Customer: “Drunk at nine am; you should be ashamed.”

(We try to ignore it.)

Customer: “This is disgusting; you should be so embarrassed.”

(I don’t like this person being rude to my father.)

Me: “Watch your tone lady. If you’d bother to be polite and ask if my father is okay, you’d know he has a special illness that makes him this way. He’s not drunk; he’s my father, and I love him. Now apologize for being so mean about him.”

(She went red, stammered, and went down an aisle. The pharmacist gave me a lollipop.)

[florida80]

He Came First
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 19, 2013
(Two customers enter at the same time. One is a woman, and the other is a man in his 70s. I get their scripts ready. As the woman is done first, I send her up to the tills while I finish with the man. Since there is another customer at the tills, I end up putting the man through before the woman is served.)

Woman: “I was here first! How come he is served before me? What does he have that I don’t?

(The man responds without a second thought.)

Man: “Raw sex appeal.”

(If I was allowed to discount scripts, I would have given him his for free.)

[florida80]

High School Dropouts Work On The Pharm
PHARMACY | LEARNING | MARCH 12, 2013
(I work as a pharmacy tech at a chain pharmacy. I am also currently in pharmacy school and will be a pharmacist one day.)

Customer: “You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Me: “I’m sorry. Can I help you with something?”

Customer: “No! I refuse to be helped by a high school dropout! You should be ashamed of yourself for working where children can see you! You are going to make them think that it is okay to not have an education!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am not a high school dropout. I have a high school diploma and I am currently in pharmacy school working towards a Doctor of Pharmacy. I am going to be a pharmacist one day.”

Customer: “Stop lying! I have never heard of a pharmacist before. You are a high school dropout!”

Manager: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes! Your employee is lying to me! She says she is going to be a pharmacist! That job doesn’t exist!”

(The manager looks at our pharmacist who is near tears from laughing so hard.)

Manager: “Ma’am, see the man over there? He’s the one who filled your prescription. He is a pharmacist.”

Customer: “No he isn’t! He just counts pills! You don’t need school for that!”

[florida80]

You Can’t Make This Advice Up
PHARMACY | WORKING | MARCH 11, 2013
(I am buying some make-up for myself. I have oily skin and very mild acne, so my dermatologist has recommended using powder foundations. I’m a student working part-time so I can’t afford the high range stuff, but I still buy reliable branded products.)

Cashier: “Are you wearing this now?” *screws up her nose at my powder*

Me: “Um yeah, I always get that one.”

Cashier: “Well, you should get [famous brand] matte foundation instead. We’ve got it for like $80. I bought some myself.”

Me: “Oh thanks, but I can’t really afford it! I like this powder because I just want some light coverage for blemishes and it looks quite natural. And it’s on special for $38, which sounds good to me!”

Cashier: “Ugh, but you’re so pale, and I can see you’ve got some gross little pimples by your chin! This stuff is way better. See?”

(The cashier points at her own face. True, she doesn’t seem to have any acne showing, but she hasn’t blended it to her neck and consequently looks like she is wearing a mask. On top of this, she seems to have applied several layers of the stuff and a load of bronzer, so the makeup resembles orange cake mix, set off nicely with false eyelashes and bright blue eyeshadow.)

Me: “Oh, yeah it is quite nice… but I think I’ll stick with my powder.”

Cashier: “Whatever…” *rolls eyes* “You’ll find the cheap tanning sprays over in the corner!”

[florida80]

Mistaken Shaken Medication
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 17, 2013
(I am counseling a customer who is receiving a prescription for her child’s strep throat. As she’s signing for the prescription, I give her directions on the medication.)

Me: “It needs to be shaken well.”

(All of a sudden, she starts shaking the electronic pen that is attached to the signature pad. After a moment she stops.)

Customer: “You meant shake the medicine, didn’t you?”

[florida80]

They’re Obviously Married To That Idea
PHARMACY | WORKING | FEBRUARY 17, 2013
(I am a college student and picking up my inhaler from a local pharmacy. I’ve just gotten a new prescription insurance card and need to have the information changed. Since I’m under my parents’ insurance, the card is in my father’s name.)

Me: “I’d like to pick up my prescription and update my insurance.”

(I hand the pharmacy tech the insurance card.)

Tech: “This is under a guy’s name. You’re a girl.”

Me: “Yes, that’s my father’s name. I’m included under his insurance.”

Tech: “So, you’re under your husband’s insurance. Let me see if I can update that.”

Me: “Father, not husband.”

Tech: “What’s your husband’s date of birth?”

Me: “That’s my father, not my husband, and it’s [date].”

Tech: “Wow! You look young to be married to someone that old.”

Me: “For the third time, I am under my father’s insurance. I’m not married.”

Tech: “Oh. Okay. Well, I need to show this to the pharmacist on duty.”

(She walks over to the pharmacist, who is still within my earshot.)

Tech: “Hey, this girl is under her husband’s insurance and I need help updating her info…”

Me: *facepalm*

[florida80]

A Mother’s Duty
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 12, 2013
Me: “Thank you for calling the pharmacy. How may I help you?

Customer: “Hi, my fiancè’s mother is incompetent, and I am going to be helping out with her medicines.”

(When she says ‘incompetent,’ I am thinking she might want to transfer the woman’s meds to our pharmacy, has a question about her drugs, or something of the sort.)

Me: “Okay, what can I help you with?”

Customer: “Since she is incompetent, I think she is going to need some kind of diaper or underwear. So, what do y’all sell there?”

[florida80]

This Story Just Drugs On And On And On
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 9, 2013
(I work at a pharmacy, both as a tech and at the till when necessary. It is a Sunday, so the pharmacy is not heavily staffed. The sole customer waiting is a man, late 20s to early 30s, wearing a pink button-up shirt.)

Me: “Hello, sir. How can I help you?”

Pink Guy: “Six for [Name].”

(I search the current container and find five prescriptions. It’s not uncommon for a prescription to be put in adjacent containers if the proper one is too full, which this one likely was. I search the other containers but don’t find anything.)

Me: “One sec, I have to check the computer.”

(I check the computer. I do verify he has six prescriptions to pick up.)

Me: “Sorry about that. Can I verify the date of birth, please?”

Pink Guy: “What is this? You want my date of birth now?”

Me: “Yes sir, to verify the prescription.”

Pink Guy: “You guys never asked for that before.”

(I am roughly two years’ tenure in the pharmacy, and that has been a part of policy since day one.)

Me: “If I could just verify the date of birth to make sure there isn’t another person with the same name?”

Pink Guy: “It’s not very likely you’d have two people with the same exact name. I suppose you want me to verify my social security number in case someone has both my name and my birthday?”

(We actually do have two people with the same name and birthday.)

Me: “Not necessarily. I would go by address or phone number first.”

Pink Guy: “I’m not comfortable giving you my date of birth.”

Me: “I already have a date of birth here. I just need you to verify at least the month and the day.”

Pink Guy: *crossing his arms* “Fine. But just know that you’ve never asked me for this before and I’ve been coming here for years. It’s [birthday].”

Me: “Thank you, sir.” *check each of the prescriptions* “Okay. And I have all six prescriptions.”

Pink Guy: “Six?”

Me: “Yes, sir, six prescriptions.”

Pink Guy: “Not seven?”

Me: “Was there more?”

Pink Guy: “There should be one more.”

Me: “Okay, let me check the computer.”

(I go back to the computer, and re-enter him just to refresh the data. I verify each prescription that I have and make sure he doesn’t have another one that he usually refilled; none pop out.)

Me: “I only have six prescriptions for you, sir.”

Pink Guy: *with an inflection implying I’m a moron* “And there aren’t any for my wife?”

Me: “Oh, I see. It’s under another name.” *without asking him, I query by address, and find his wife. I see that she does have a pending prescription, but there’s a catch* “Did you call it in today?”

Pink Guy: “Yeah, I called it in this morning. It said it’d be ready tomorrow but I figured you guys would have it ready by now.”

Me: *explaining casually* “Well, not exactly. You see, when you call it in it actually gets picked up by an outside pharmacy and they fill it and ship it to us next-day. You did it through the automated system, right?”

Pink Guy: “Well, yeah. I’ve done it before and you guys had it ready.”

Me: “Well… I’m not sure about that time, but I do know the automated system tells you when the pickup is and then asks if you want it earlier; if you select that you want it earlier it sends it to us. Maybe that just didn’t go through this time.”

Pink Guy: “No, I just assumed you’d have it ready by now.”

(Well, at least he’s honest.)

Me: “Well, I’m sorry but we don’t. But I can pull it and we can fill it here. The pharmacist is out to lunch, but when he gets back in about ten minutes he’ll fill it right away. Do you have some shopping you could do or would you like to wait in the waiting area?”

(The pharmacist is behind the counter, but I’m not going to bother him unless I absolutely have to.)

Pink Guy: “No! I don’t have time for all of this crap! If you guys aren’t ready I’ll just waste my time and gas and get it tomorrow! I’m in a hurry!”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, sir.”

(I start scanning and bagging the prescriptions. He reaches across the counter at me to tear the bag away from me.)

Me: “Excuse me, just a sec, sir. I need you to verify the information on the screen.”

Pink Guy: “I thought you already verified everything. That’s why I gave you my date of birth!”

Me: “I need you to verify everything on the screen. Make sure all of the information is correct and hit ‘next’ in the lower-right of the screen.”

(Without looking at the screen, he hits the ‘back’ button at the lower-left.)

Me: *re-initializing the verification phase* “It’s the ‘next’ button on the lower-right, sir.”

(Second time’s the charm. He still doesn’t look at the screen.)

Me: “And if you could sign to verify you’ve picked up the prescriptions.”

Pink Guy: *mutters a signing-my-life-away cliche* “There. Are we done?” *extends his hand, expectantly*

Me: “Not quite. Your total comes to $20.”

Pink Guy: “Are you kidding me!? You make me go through all that and then you expect me to fork over $20? I have insurance! It covers everything! You must not have run it through, you idiots. Go check your little computer and you’ll see. I have never had to pay anything for my meds!”

(I go to the computer and refresh his information.)

Me: “It shows here we ran it through [Insurance]. They paid [amount] toward the prescription, leaving you with a co-pay of $20. The last time you got it, on [date], they paid [amount minus $20] and therefore you had a $40 co-pay. And you’ve had a $40 co-pay the last 3 times you picked this medication up.”

Pink Guy: “This is ridiculous! Whatever.” *pulls out his checkbook* “Can I get $100 cash-back?”

Me: “No, sir, the limit is $50. And, I’m sorry, but I don’t have enough in my till.”

Pink Guy: “Well… can’t you get more?”

Me: “I could, but it’d be faster for you if you just got a bottle of water and get cash-back up at the front.”

Pink Guy: *standing up defiantly* “I’m not making two transactions. I’ll wait.”

Me: “Okay. Your total is $70, and the date is [date].”

Pink Guy: “You said it was $20 before!”

Me: “Right. $20, plus $50 cash-back is $70.”

(He proceeds to write his check.)

Pink Guy: “Can I have my cash-back?”

Me: “I need to run the check first.”

(With a great show of impatience and contempt he tears the check out and hands it to me. It’s policy to verify the check by hand before running it through the feeder. Before even turning it my direction, I see he hasn’t signed it.)

Me: “Could you please sign the check?”

(He clicks his pen and makes a very dramatic and flourish display of signing the check.)

Me: “Thank you.” *I start to validate the check, the date is wrong by a few days* “I’m going to change it to today’s date and initial it, okay?”

Pink Guy: “Fine, whatever.”

(I check everything, saving the amount for last since I know it’s cash-back and I want to verify they match properly. But… there’s a problem.

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid I’ll need you to write a new check.”

Pink Guy: “What the he-why!?”

Me: “Because. You wrote the amount for $120, but the limit for cash-back is $50, and that’s how much I asked for.”

Pink Guy: “Well here!” *takes the check from me, scribbles all over it, and writes the new amounts in as tiny as he can above the errata* “There. You need my driver’s license?”

Me: “No, sir, I need you to write a new check. This one is illegible and I can’t accept it into my till.”

Pink Guy: “Screw you! Fine, forget the cash-back. I’ll just pay with my card.”

(He pulls the card out, and swipes it. But it’s too fast, I have to hit a button first.)

Me: “Okay, your card is ready to swipe.”

Pink Guy: “I already swiped it.”

Me: “I wasn’t ready in time, sorry. I have to hit a button for it to take. It’s ready now, though.”

Pink Guy: “The machine said it was ready!”

Me: “That’s the default screen. It always says that. I know it’s irritating. I wish they’d change it.”

(He swipes his card again, and poises with his pen. I expect him to start with the card transaction, but notice he’s still standing there after a second.)

Pink Guy: “Well?”

(I look at my screen, and realize it hasn’t taken the card still. I clear it and prime it again.)

Me: “Try it again, please?”

Pink Guy: “No! You’ll charge me twice!”

Me: “It won’t charge you twice. I promise. It only charges when you approve the amount and sign.”

Pink Guy: “If it charges me twice I’ll get you fired.”

Me: “I promise. It won’t charge you twice.”

(He poises with the card and practically stares me down as if judging the worth of my soul as he slides the card through. It’s then I notice the magnet strip is in his fingers.)

Me: “May I see your card, sir?”

Pink Guy: *apparently giving up, he responds less angrily than I expected* “Take it.”

(I take the card and swipe it through the correct way, setting it on the counter. Once again he poises with the pen, waiting for the prompt, and again, I notice it’s taking him a tad longer than other people. I look at the screen just as he comments.)

Pink Guy: “It’s still not doing anything.”

(I pick up his card, and take in a breath. It’s a ditch effort, but I enter the card number manually. No dice. I hand his card back.)

Me: “I’m sorry sir, your card won’t go through. Do you have another method of payment?” (It has been rejected.)

Pink Guy: “What the h***!” *literally throws the card at me, hitting my chest, and I catch it* “That’s a new f****** card! Of course it’ll take! Your computer is stupid!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir.”

(He leaves, and I continue the day setting any emotions aside to deal with for later. I put his credit card in with one of the scripts and make a note of it for whoever has to handle it. Later that week, the pharmacist, who had been sitting behind the counter that whole time, talks to me during a slow hour.)

Pharmacist: “Hey, [My Name], you remember Mr. [Pink Guy] from the other day?”

Me: “Yeah, what about him?”

Pharmacist: “His wife came by the next day. I did the transaction. She picked up all seven scripts. She didn’t say anything about the price. Paid with a perfect check, and got the $50 cash-back.”

Me: “So, she didn’t give you any trouble?”

Pharmacist: “No, not at all.”

Me: “Well, good. At least that whole thing happened on a slow day.”

Pharmacist: “Yeah. Anyway, here.” *takes a Barnes & Noble gift card from his smock pocket and sets it on the counter* “Consider this an apology from Mr. [Pink Guy].”

(The gift card was for $75.)

[florida80]

Needs To Take A Chill Pill
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 29, 2013
(I’m at a chain company pharmacy/mini-stores getting a bottle of water. As I pass by the pharmacy, I witness an exchange between a very burly, muscular customer and a short, skinny female clerk.)

Customer: “I need to refill my prescription.”

Clerk: “Well, I’m sorry, but according to our systems, you have no refills left. You’ll need to contact your doctor and get a new prescription.”

Customer: “What?! I want my pills. Give me my pills!”

(The exchange continues for a while, with the customer getting more and more agitated. The clerk appears to be frightened and close to tears. The commotion is drawing the attention of the people around.)

Customer: “You dumb b****, are you f***ing stupid? Give me my pills or there will be a problem.”

(At this point, I step between him and the clerk behind the counter.)

Me: “Look buddy, she already said that she’s not giving you pills and told you what to do. So you better just listen to her, leave, and stop making an a** of yourself.”

(For a moment he looks like he is going to hit me, then just stomps away swearing under his breath.)

Me: *to the clerk* “I’m sorry you had to deal with that.”

Clerk: “It’s alright. Thank you for that. Here, that water is on me, okay?”

[florida80]

Paging Charlotte On Aisle 5
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 16, 2013
(I am at the cashier, ringing up a long line of people. I notice when customers walk in, they suddenly skirt around the theft detectors. A lady approaches the counter.)

Lady: “There is a big spider in the entrance!”

(Note: I don’t want to leave the counter because of the enormous line.)

Me: “Okay, cool.”

Lady: “You have to kill it. You work here.”

Me: “It’s not hurting anyone.”

(The lady’s husband chimes in.)

Husband: “Kill it, she’s right!”

(Everyone in the line seems to agree with the lady and her husband.)

Me: “Okay, I’ll just move it outside.”

Husband: “No, kill it!”

Me: “No, it wont do any harm out there in the parking lot.”

(I move the spider outside.)

Lady: “I can’t take it anymore!”

Me: “Can’t take what?”

(Suddenly, the lady grabs a basket made for carrying products outside and finds the spider. She starts violently smashing the red basket on the spider.)

Lady: “Why is it not dying?!”

(It turns out the basket has little legs on the bottom, preventing it from making contact with the spider. She eventually figures this out and kills it, but not before it charges her one last time and causes her to flip out!)

[florida80]

Paging Insecurity
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 16, 2013
(I am a customer in this pharmacy store late at night. As I walk up to the counter, a male customer is loudly complaining to a male cashier about ‘the gays.’ Being a lesbian, I’m gathering up the courage to say something when the following happens.)

Male Customer: “The gays keep trying to turn everyone!”

Male Cashier: “It must be rough.”

Male Customer: “How do you mean?”

Male Cashier: “I have a handful of gay friends, and no matter how much time I’ve spent with them, I’ve never wanted to have sex with other dudes. I’m just saying it must be rough to have such a tenuous hold on your sexuality that you’re always worried about being turned by the slightest contact. I feel for you.”

(It takes a moment, but the male customer realizes what the male cashier is saying.)

Male Customer: “…Hey, f*** you, buddy!”

Male Cashier: “You want to f*** me? Oh god, it’s happening now! There must be a gay in the store! Run!”

Customer: *screaming* “Go to h***!”

(The customer then runs out of the store. As I put my stuff up on the counter, the manager runs up from one of the aisles.)

Manager: “What the h*** was that?”

Cashier: “Oh, I’m probably just getting a customer complaint in the morning. Totally worth it… I’ll explain later.” *to me* “Sorry about all that. How are you tonight?”

Me: “If I was straight, I would totally be giving you my number right now

[florida80]

Antisocial Behavior Is Its Own Reward
PHARMACY | WORKING | JANUARY 9, 2013
(About three months prior, we hired some new help since we were severely understaffed at our pharmacy. Two of the workers are doing very well. One, on the other hand, is not. Today, it’s a bit busier than normal, and unfortunately the not-so-good worker is the only one I have to back me up on the register. Note: In October we switched our rewards cards.)

Coworker: “Do you have [Rewards Card]?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s right here.” *pulls out our current rewards card*

Coworker: “Sorry, but we have a new one now that we switched to.”

Customer: “I was told this is the new one.”

Coworker: “Yeah, but we have a newer new card.”

Customer: “Well, what’s going to happen to my points?”

Coworker: “I can switch you, but I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

Customer: “Well, this is stupid! Why do you keep changing it up?!”

(By this point, I finish cashing out my own customer and speak up.)

Me: *to the customer* “Ma’am, I can assure you, the card you’re holding is our current rewards card. I have no idea why he’s lying to you.” *to my coworker* “For God’s sake, don’t do that.”

(My coworker shuts up for the rest of the transaction. After all the customers are cashed out and gone, I confront him.)

Me: “You cannot do that to the customers! What the h*** are you thinking?”

Coworker: “Man, I been doing that, and I’m gonna keep doing it! It’s what keeps me sane here!”

[florida80]

Kids Will Send Any Parent To The Funny Pharm
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 1, 2013
(I am taking a refill order over the phone.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [pharmacy]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I need to refill a couple of prescriptions. This one I have the number for.”

(She proceeds to give me the number, and while I am running the prescription through her insurance I hear some kids playing in the background.)

Me: “Okay, so that one went through just fine. What is the next one?”

Customer: “I don’t have the number, but can you look it up for me? It’s my birth control.”

(I look in the customer’s file and sure enough it’s there. But while I am running it, the playing in the background has turned into a serious screaming and fighting match.)

Customer: *embarrassed* “And this is why I am refilling the birth control. Can’t you tell?”

[florida80]

Super-flu-ous Advice
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 10, 2012
(It’s currently flu season, and we are offering flu shots.)

Me: “Alright, sir. We got you all set. Have you gotten your flu shot yet?”

Customer: “Ah, no. I don’t get a flu shot. I don’t get the flu, sweetie.”

Me: “Wow, you must be lucky.”

Customer: “You want to know my secret, dear?”

Me: “What’s your secret, sir?”

Customer: *leans in close* “You see now, chickens, cows, pigs: they get the flu. So, if you don’t eat them, you don’t get the flu! You remember that now!”

Me: “Um, okay, sir. I will. Have a nice day.”

[florida80]

Their Problems Will Only Multiply From Here
PHARMACY | WORKING | DECEMBER 10, 2012
(I am training a new girl. One basic of our job involves 3rd-4th grade level math. We are both in our twenties.)

Me: “Okay. They are taking two, four times a day. How long will it last?”

New Girl: “Uh…”

Me: “What’s 2 times 4?”

New Girl: “…12?”

[florida80]

A Paucity Of Verbosity
PHARMACY | WORKING | NOVEMBER 25, 2012
(I need to get some prescription medication, and decide to use the opportunity to get some exfoliating cream, which helps remove dead skin.)

Me: “Hi, this is a prescription I need filled. Can you also tell me where you keep the exfoliating creams?”

Cashier: “…The what?”

Me: “Exfoliating creams?”

Cashier: *slowly* “Ex-fooo-liating creams…” *turns to her manager* “What’s exfoliating creams?”

Manager: *to me* “They’re right this way.”

Cashier: “Sorry, I haven’t learnt big words yet!”

[florida80]

Might We Prescribe A New Job
PHARMACY | WORKING | NOVEMBER 22, 2012
(I’ve just come from the emergency department of the hospital, with instructions to fill two prescriptions immediately. I’m obviously sick and having difficulty breathing. It’s about 9:30 PM, which is 30 minutes before closing.)

Me: “I have a severe corn allergy, so can you please double-check the ingredients on those before filling them?”

Pharmacist: “No.”

Me: “…Pardon? ”

Pharmacist: “Almost all medications are made with corn starch, you know. I don’t think I can fill them.”

Me: “My understanding is that very few prescriptions meds have corn in the them. Can you check them please?”

Pharmacist: “No. I don’t have the ingredients.”

Me: “Aren’t they on the bottle?”

Pharmacist: “No.”

Me: “Can you look them up somewhere? Online or in a compendium?”

Pharmacist: “No.”

Me: “I really need these medications immediately.”

Pharmacist: *sighs* I guess I could leave them for someone tomorrow, and they could call the company.”

Me: “I need them tonight. I’m not sure what to do.”

Pharmacist: “I’m sure you’ll be fine. There’s only a little bit of corn starch in a pill.”

My Husband: “NO! Didn’t you hear her? She’s ALLERGIC!”

Pharmacist: “Well, there’s nothing I can do tonight. I guess I can keep these until tomorrow and someone else will deal with it.” *wanders off*

(I called another pharmacy in the same chain, and they were able to check the ingredients immediately. We retrieved my prescriptions from the unhelpful pharmacist, and my husband made a complaint the next day. It turned out he was a temp and was fired.)

[florida80]

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 13, 2012
Customer: “Excuse me, miss? I’d like a $20 iTunes card, but there are none here.”

Me: “Oh, yes. Unfortunately we haven’t received that shipment yet. But we do have the $10 cards.”

Customer: *frustrated* “But I want a $20 card.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, you could always buy two $10 cards instead.”

Customer: *yelling* “That doesn’t equal 20 dollars!” *storms out of the store*

[florida80]

Discretion Is The Better Part Of Disclosure
PHARMACY | WORKING | OCTOBER 10, 2012
Coworker: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Customer: “I need… um…”

(The customer is clearly too embarrassed to speak, so she pulls out a piece of paper and writes what she wants down.)

Coworker: *reads the paper and looks over at me* “HEY, [my name], WHERE DO WE KEEP THE THRUSH CREAM?”

Me: *facepalm*

[florida80]

Contraception Misperceptions
PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 5, 2012
(I am a pharmacist working at 24-hour pharmacy. This takes place on a late Sunday evening.)

Female Caller: “Hello, um… I… um… you know the morning after pill?”

Me: “Yes, certainly. What would you like to know about it?”

Female Caller: “Is there an anti-morning after pill?”

Me: “Sorry? An anti-morning after pill?”

Female Caller: “Yes. You see, this guy, he came around today, and he brought some flowers and everything, so now I’m kind of regretting taking that pill. So is there an anti-morning after pill I could take?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, there isn’t such a thing.”

Female Caller: “Oh, that is a shame. Do you think they will make one?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, but I really don’t think they will.”

Female Caller: “Really? Oh, that is a bummer.” *hangs up*

[florida80]

Not Quite Registering
PHARMACY | WORKING | AUGUST 25, 2012
(A customer pays with a fifty dollar bill. Spotting it, the pharmacist on duty grabs his wallet and asks the cashier to give him the fifty for two twenties and a ten.)

Coworker: “I can’t do that!”

Me: “Why not? He’s giving you $50 for $50.”

Coworker: “But my till will be wrong!”

Me: “How? You take out the fifty, and put in two twenties and the ten. The totals are still the same.”

Coworker: “But I won’t have the fifty, and the register will KNOW!”

[florida80]

Good Things Come In Small Dosages
PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 15, 2012
(My coworker at the pharmacy has been working with a customer who seems to be having the worst day. Unfortunately, my coworker is the victim of the customer’s mood, and he has reduced the poor girl to tears. Behind this customer is a young father in his mid-20s and his three sons, aged probably six, two, and less than a year old. The young father is clearly upset with the behavior of the customer in front of him, but, probably for the sake of his children, is keeping his mouth shut. Out of nowhere, his six-year-old son speaks up.)

Six-year-old Son: “‘Scuse me, sir? I think you’ll probably get what you need easier in life if you’re nice to people. You’re making the pretty lady sad and she didn’t do anything wrong.”

Customer: *clearly shocked* “Didn’t your father here teach you to mind your own business, son?!”

(The young father is actually grinning proudly, and reaches over to high-five his son.)

Father: “Actually, I taught him not to raise his voice at good, honest people.”

Customer: *clearly embarrassed, pays and leaves quickly*

Six-year-old Son: *to my coworker* “Can I give you a hug? If anyone gives you trouble, call me!”

(My coworker was very impressed by the brave little boy’s actions, while his father proudly teared up. I doubt the family will ever have to pay at our pharmacy again, and my coworker has a new best friend!)

[florida80]

There’s No Business Like My Business
PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 9, 2012
(I work at a well-known retail pharmacy. One night while I’m still new on the job, I’m manning one of the cash registers.)

Woman: “Hi, where is your baking soda?”

Me: “Um, I can’t guarantee that we have baking soda, but if we do, it would be in Aisle 3.”

Woman: *goes off to look for it*

(15 minutes later, the customer comes through my line with her baking soda.)

Me: “Oh, I see you found it! I’m glad we carry it.”

Woman: “If you hadn’t, I would have been very frustrated, and I would never have come here again!”

(I think she’s joking and laugh a bit.)

Me: “Well, I’m certainly glad you found it!”

Woman: *completely serious* “I did that to [other retail store] when they didn’t have lettuce, and they went out of business within a week!”

Me: *pause* “Um… I’m REALLY glad you found the baking soda, then.”

[florida80]

A Knight In Patrolling Armor
PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 2, 2012
Me: “So, your total is going to be of 30 thousand colones (60 USD). Here you go, and have a nice day.”

Customer: “Oh, you’re so nice. Thank you, too. I was wondering if you could do something else for me?”

Me: “Sure, what is it?”

Customer: “I was told at my church that they needed more members, and I was asked to bring a few. Would you mind to come?”

Me: “Well, I apologize, but I wouldn’t like to.”

Customer: *gets defensive* “Why? Don’t tell me you think we’re all cultists that don’t care about God!”

Me: “I’m sure you’re not, but I don’t want to go.”

Customer: “Why the h*** not, then? I already told you we’re nice people, so why don’t you go?!”

Me: “Ma’am, if I offended you I apologize, however I don’t want to go. It’s not because you’re nice people or not; it’s because I’m an atheist.”

Customer: “So, you don’t believe in God, is that it? Well, f*** you! You’re going to Hell! What are you going to tell me next, that you’re a f***ing queer?”

Me: “In fact, I am a homosexual, but—”

Customer: “That’s all I needed to know! Being gay is a sin!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Customer: “F*** no! You’re kicking me out because I’m a Christian! That’s illegal, and it’s bulls***!”

(At this point, a man behind her speaks up. Note that he is a police officer in full uniform.)

Officer: “No, he’s kicking you because you already paid and you’re disturbing the peace. So, I’m going to give you my recommendation: Leave now, or I’ll arrest you.”

Customer: *suddenly pales and leaves without saying a word*

Me: “Thank you very much, Officer. Now, how may I help you?”

Officer: “Actually I didn’t need anything. I was just patrolling when I heard the conflict. However, now that you mention it…” *he blushes a little* “…I need to ask, would you go out in a date with me?”

Me: “…Of course!”

(The officer and I have now dating for nearly half a year.)

[florida80]

Never Say No To La Novia
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 10, 2012
(I am watching my girlfriend’s two-year-old sister near the counter while she does her shopping. Her sister is learning to talk in Spanish, so I’m quizzing her with colors. While we’re playing, a seven-year-old girl approaches us and asks to play because she takes Spanish at school. Everything is fine until the girl’s mother comes.)

Mother: “Leona, what are you doing? You know not to bother people.”

Me: “Oh, she’s not, ma’am. She just asked to play with me and my girlfriend’s sister.”

Mother: “Girlfriend?” *thinks for a few moments* “Oh, a close friend! Sorry, I was thinking you meant a girl you were dating.”

Me: “I did. I am dating a girl. This little girl is her sister and your daughter was just playing with us. She wasn’t bothering us.”

Mother: “What?! Leona, you were playing with a homo?!? Come over here, right now!”

(In tears, the girl slowly approaches her mother, who yells at her about how she knows better than to interact with “h***-bound sinners” like me. She then chides me for “sinning” around such a small child, referring to my girlfriend’s sister. While I’m speechless, a man comes up, who I assume is the girl’s father.)

Father: *to the mother* “I got the rest of the stuff. What are you yelling about?”

Mother: *to her daughter* “Tell Daddy what you did!”

(In hysterics, the girl tells her father what happened, ending her telling by clinging to his leg and apologizing over and over. I’m feeling dreadful and very guilty and am near tears myself. But to my surprise, this happens.)

Father: *to the mother* “Are you serious?! What is wrong with you?! I don’t even know why I came out with you! Just go wait in the car! Sheesh!”

(The mother, now apparently embarrassed, exits the store. The father calms his daughter down and apologizes to her and me before leaving. Right after they leave, my girlfriend comes up, having seen the whole thing.)

My Girlfriend: “I actually know that family. The father moved in next door to me two weeks ago. That girl’s parents are divorced and her parents have joint custody of her, but today is her birthday and she wanted to be with both of them together. They said yes to make her happy, but I don’t think that’ll happen again.”

(A few weeks later, my girlfriend tells me the father got full custody of his daughter. Now, she and my girlfriend’s sister play together on a daily basis, and I occasionally help her with her Spanish homework.)

[florida80]

No Scan, No Scam
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 10, 2012
(I work in a store in a small town where most of the customers are elderly and sweet. If a price doesn’t come up, I will generally trust a customer if they say they know the exact price.)

Me: “Oh, there’s no bar code on this.”

Customer: “Well, it was $39.99, but I guess that doesn’t help you.”

Me: “Well, I can enter it manually. You’re sure it was $39.99?”

Customer: “Actually, it was…$19.99.”

Me: “Sir, do you really want me to call for a price check and make you and all the people behind you wait ten minutes for someone to come up here?”

Customer: *defeated* “…It was $39.99.”

[florida80]

Not Ever Working
PHARMACY | WORKING | JULY 9, 2012
(The pharmacy I work at has just lost several techs at once, so we’ve hired a few new people. One of these new coworkers isn’t working out at all.)

Pharmacist: “Hey, could you help out in the front for a minute? I think [coworker who isn’t working out] could use a hand.”

Me: “Sure. Hi, [regular customer], what can I do for you?”

Regular Customer: “Oh good, I’m trying to get a refill.”

New Coworker: *to Regular Customer* “I keep telling you, you don’t have any!”

Me: *to Regular Customer* “Let me just check on it for you.”

New Coworker: *to me* “Why? I already told him he didn’t have one.”

Me: “Actually, he has enough refills for the rest of the year. What are you looking at?”

New Coworker: “No, you’re wrong. I know what I saw!”

Regular Customer: “I knew I had some..I was starting to think I was going to have to call my doctor. Thank you so much, [my name]!”

New Coworker: *to Regular Customer* “You need to leave right now. GET OUT!”

Me: *to New Coworker* “Whoa, what do you think you’re doing? You do not have ANY authority to kick a patron out.”

New Coworker: “He’s being unruly.”

Me: “What? No, he’s not. You’re just being rude.”

New Coworker: “No, you’re just trying to make me look stupid. I know exactly what I saw.”

(I examine my new coworker’s computer screen.)

Me: “You were looking at the wrong person.”

New Coworker: “No, I wasn’t!”

Me: “Sorry, but the name on your screen is a woman’s. [Regular Customer] is a man. It happens.”

New Coworker: “You changed it!”

Regular Customer: “Are you kidding me? Listen kid, you were wrong. It’s not that big of a deal. It happens. Just man up already.”

New Coworker: “You, shut up! I’m not talking to you, old man!”

(The pharmacist has been listening to the entire conversation. He decides he’s had enough.)

Pharmacist: *to New Coworker* “Get over here, right now!”

New Coworker: *rudely* “I’m BUSY! I’m trying to work, but—”

Pharmacist: “Get your stuff. You’re fired.”

New Coworker: “You can’t fire me!”

(At this point, the store manager also comes over.)

Store Manager: “I can. Get your stuff. You are not longer employed here.”

New Coworker: “YOU CAN’T FIRE ME! I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG! YOU PEOPLE ARE JUST TRYING TO MAKE ME LOOK STUPID!”

Regular Customer: “No one has to try and make you look stupid, son. You’re doing a fine job of that all by yourself.”

(My coworker carried on and screamed obscenities. We ended up having to call the police to remove him from the store!)

[florida80]

Plz Change Abbrev, Stat
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 9, 2012
(If a customer gets regular medication from a pharmacy, they can have a Medicine Use Review (MUR). It’s basically talking through their meds with a pharmacist. I answer this call from a sweet elderly caller.)

Me: “Hello, pharmacy.”

Customer: “Um hello, someone just delivered my medicine. The bag has a sticker on it that says “Patient eligible for MUR.” What it is MUR?”

Me: “It stands for “Medicine Use Review,” which involves discussing your medicines with the pharmacist. However, those labels are meant for our reference, so I apologise that it’s been put on your bag by mistake. Sorry if it caused confusion.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s alright, dear. I just thought MUR might be short for murder!”

Me: “Er no, ma’am! Don’t worry, no one is going to murder you!”

Customer: “Oh, good! Thank you very much!”

[florida80]

Feeling Man-strual
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 24, 2012
(I am working the prescription counter when a big, burly 6-foot or so tall man comes to the counter. Note: I am a female.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Um, I think…” *trails off*

Me: “I’m sorry, sir…could you say that again?”

Customer: *leans in close* “I think I got my first period.”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “I’m bleeding down there, and I’m really hurting in my stomach.”

Me: “Sir, men don’t get those. You need to go to the hospital.”

Customer: “I knew you girls would be insensitive! I’m leaving!”

(I didn’t see him again. I still hope he got to a hospital!)

[florida80]

Employees Are Sharper Than You Think
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 20, 2012
(Pharmacy law in Utah says that it’s up to the pharmacist’s discretion if they want to sell insulin needles/syringes without a prescription. Our store has the policy that the patient either has to have a prescription for the syringes or for an injectable medication on file.)

Customer: “I need to get some syringes.”

Me: “Okay, I need your name so I can look up the prescription.”

Customer: “Actually, they’re not for me. They’re for my mom.”

Me: “Okay, what’s her name?”

Customer: “Well, not my mom. My best friend’s mom who’s like a mom to me.”

Me: “What’s her name?”

Customer: “Actually, it’s for her dog.”

Me: “What’s the dog’s name?”

Customer: “I…don’t know.”

Me: “Then I’m not selling you any syringes.”

Customer: *walks away in defeat*

[florida80]

Contextual Innuendos
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 19, 2012
(I’m at work on a Saturday with a clerk and a pharmacist. I notice the clerk speaking with an elderly woman out front but don’t think much of it. A few minutes later, the clerk comes back with a strange expression on her face and tells me I have to go help the woman.)

Me: “What can I help you with?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a vibrator.”

Me: “A…vibrator?”

Customer: “Yes. I had one, but I used it too much and it wore out.”

Me: “I don’t think we have anything like that. Where did you buy the first one?”

Customer: “At another pharmacy, but I want one with a long handle so it can reach better.”

(At this point I’m biting the inside of my cheek in an effort not to laugh.)

Me: “What kind of vibrator are you looking for, exactly?”

Customer: “You know! One of those that rub your feet!”

Me: “OH! Sorry, we don’t have anything like that.”

[florida80]

Not Lacking For Laxatives
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 17, 2012
Me: “**** Pharmacy, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I gotta question for you: I drank a whole thing of prune juice like water, and now I’m s***ing my brains out.”

Me: “Okay, and what did you need to know?”

Customer: “Is your generic of ducolax the same thing?”

Me: “Yes. Same thing.”

Customer: “Okay, good, because I’m gonna need a plug soon or something!”

[florida80]

Getting Burned Can Be A Pain In The Butt
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 15, 2012
(It is a very windy day during summer, and a power line has blown over in the field behind our store.)

Me: “Hello, [pharmacy] how may I help you?”

Customer: “I need to see if you have [hemorrhoid cream] in stock.”

Me: “Alright, let me check…”

(At this point, I put him on hold to check our stock when a fireman walks in. He tells us they are evacuating all the buildings in the area, and that we have 5 minutes to get out. I go back to pick up the phone so the customer isn’t on hold forever.)

Me: “Sir, we do have it in stock. However, I can’t help you right now. I’m being told to evacuate the building.”

Customer: “Does it have aloe vera in it?”

Me: “I don’t know. As I said, I need to hang up. Please call back tomorrow.”

Customer: “Can you see if you can order it for me?”

Me: “Sir, there is a field fire right behind the pharmacy and I really can’t answer your questions right now. I was told by the fire department to evacuate. Please, call back another time.”

Customer: “Well, fine then. I’ll just get it somewhere else!” *hangs up*

[florida80]

Out Of Brain Cells
PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 22, 2012
(At the pharmacy where I work, I do a lot of training of new employees. This day’s trainee is particularly slow on the uptake.)

Me: *to new employee* “Now, when the customer pays in cash and just hands you a bill, you should repeat back to them how much they gave you. For example, when a customer gives you a $20 bill, you say, ‘Out of $20,’ as you make change.”

(This is a technique to help avoid after-the-fact disputes about the denomination of the bills customers hand over.)

New Employee: “Got it.”

(The customer walks up and pays cash, handing him a $20. The new employee says nothing.)

Me: *to new employee* “What are you forgetting?”

New Employee: “Um…”

Me: “Say the amount they gave you.”

New Employee: “Oh, right…”

(The next three customers all pay cash, and as they each fork over a crisp clean $20 bill, the new employee performs flawlessly, verifying that it is indeed “Out of $20” with each transaction. I think he’s finally gotten it down until the fourth customer.)

New Employee: “That will be [price].”

Customer #4 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=4) : *hands over credit card*

New Employee: “Out of $20!”

Me: *facepalm*

[florida80]

Time To Start Screening Customers
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MAY 19, 2012
(A customer slams a bottle of sunblock on the counter.)

Customer: “This is worthless! I can’t believe you sell this!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir.” *examines the empty bottle* “But this is the highest protection factor we have.”

Customer: “Well, it’s crap! I want a refund!”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t refund an empty bottle; it’s store policy.”

Customer: “Well, what do you expect?! I have two large windows!”

[florida80]

A Game Of Kat And Birdie
PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 5, 2012
(I work at a pharmacy and we are very busy, causing a few customers having to wait. The last woman in line finally steps up.)

Me: “I apologize for your wait. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Does your name tag say your name is Kat?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Did you have some crazy new age parents or something? Why would they name you after an animal? That’s just dumb! You should have a good sturdy name, like mine!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but what can I help you with?”

Customer: “I need a refill.”

Me: “Of course. Can I get your date of birth?”

Customer: *gives me her date of birth* “And the prescription is under Birdie.”

Me: “Okay, it’s put in and will be ready in 15 minutes.”

Customer: “Thank you. I’m sorry you have such a foolish name.”

Pharmacist: “Did that woman just tell you your name was foolish and complain about people with “animal” names?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Pharmacist: “But her name was Birdie…”

[florida80]

Less Is More, More Or Less, Part 3
DRUG STORE, PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 30, 2012
(Our store regularly runs a promotion on the various vitamin brands for ‘BOGO’, buy 1, get 1 free. A customer comes up to the register with a bottle of a brand on the BOGO promotion. I am also an avid couponer and I regularly take in coupons for items we carry that I won’t use so that I can give them to customers.)

Me: “Sir, I see you’re buying a [brand] item. This week we currently have this whole line at Buy One, Get One Free. If you do get another one, I also have a coupon I can give you which is good for $2 off two items. So instead of getting one for $9.99 you can get 2 for eight bucks and change.”

Customer: *quite angrily* “What the h*** is wrong with you people? I just want my vitamins. Why are you always trying to push me to buy extra stuff and give you more money!?”

Me: “I’m…sir, I apologize. I probably wasn’t clear you’ll get twice as many vitamins and spend two dollars less—”

Customer: “Oh f*** this. You’re all scam artists!” *storms off without paying*

Me: *stares in disbelief*

Next Customer:“So…can I use that coupon?”

[florida80]

No Pain, No Vain
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 29, 2012
(A customer comes in to return a home leg waxing kit.)

Me: “Can I ask why you are unsatisfied with this product?”

Customer: “It hurts!”

Me: “Yes, because waxing involves ripping the hair out by the roots.”

Customer: “Well, it shouldn’t hurt!”

[florida80]

You Better Belize It
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 19, 2012
(I live in Belize. A lot of tourists think they can get away with anything in my country. One day, a foreigner walks into the store.)

Customer: “Can I get some Diazepam?”

Me: “Do you have a prescription?”

Customer: *tries to look bewildered* “Do I need one?”

Me: “Yes, especially since it’s a controlled substance.”

Customer: “It is?” *scoffs* “Well I didn’t know that. Some Xanax, then.”

Me: “That is a controlled substance too. Valium, Xanax, alprazolam, lorazepam, diazepam…they’re all controlled.”

Customer: “Well, then!” *hurriedly walks out of the store*

[florida80]

Why You Always Bring Your Own Dinnerware
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 3, 2012
(An elderly lady approaches the counter.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I need some dish bags.”

(Unaware of what dish bags are, I assume she means dish rags.)

Me: “I’m not sure what that is and if we carry it. I would look in the cleaning section.”

Customer: “Well, my doctor said I could get it here.”

Me: “Okay, well I would check that aisle.”

(The customer leaves and returns after a couple minutes.)

Customer: “I didn’t find them!”

Me: “Can you tell me again what it is you need?”

Customer: “Dish bags.”

Me: “And you say your doctor told you to get them here?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry. I’ve never heard of dish bags and I don’t believe I’ve seen anything like that here.”

Customer: “Well, this is ridiculous! What am I going to do?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, would you like me to ask our pharmacist about them?”

Customer: “Yes!”

(I go get the pharmacist to assist me.)

Pharmacist: “So, what is a dish bag used for?”

Customer: “Jeeze! You clean your lady parts with it!”

[florida80]

Perhaps There’s Insufficient Blood To Your Brain
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 24, 2012
(We have a free self-use blood pressure machine in our pharmacy.)

Customer: “When are you going to fix your blood pressure machine?”

Pharmacist: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Your blood pressure machine is broken. Every time I come in here, it doesn’t work! You should really take care of it. Lots of old people need to check their blood pressure, you know!”

Me: “Are you sure? I just filled the paper roll the other day. It was working fine.”

Customer: “No, it’s not! I’ve been trying to use it for days. It’s not working. You should really take care of it!”

(I take a look at the machine and try to troubleshoot the problem. I sit in the seat, roll up my sleeve, put it in the cuff, and push the big green “Start” button. The cuff inflates normally.)

Customer: “You mean you’re suppose to push that button?!”

[florida80]

Weekend Roundup: Don’t Mess With Employees
FAST FOOD, GUN STORE, PHARMACY, TECH SUPPORT | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 19, 2012
Introducing Weekend Roundups: each week, we’ll be featuring some of our favorite stories from the Not Always Right archives.

Don’t Mess With Employees! This week, we feature five stories that teach misbehaving customers the consequences of messing with employees.

In Real Hot Sauce Now:
A young teenage employee decides her dignity is worth more than £3.71 and dealing with a cowardly manager.
A Good Ol’ Fashioned A** Whoopin’:
A customer tries to rough up an employee, but ends up getting roughed up by the manager instead.
Hard Drugs And Harder Pharmacists:
Teenage robber, meet Doug. Doug is our new pharmacy tech. Doug is also built like a fridge.
Who’s Got The Power Now:
Tech support is happy to support your technology. Supporting your potty mouth, not so much.
Your Prank Got Spanked:
A prank caller picks the wrong, well-armed store to call.

[florida80]

Who’s Got The Power Now
BAD BEHAVIOR, CALL CENTER, EDITORS' CHOICE, TECH SUPPORT, UK | RIGHT | JULY 11, 2008
Me: “How can I help you?”

Irate Caller: “Yes, I just purchased one of your wireless routers and your stupid tech support in India just told me I have to plug it into an outlet.”

Me: “Uh… yes, ma’am. It needs to be plugged into an outlet to get electrical power.”

Irate Caller: “I purchased a WIRELESS router, so it shouldn’t require wires! Doesn’t it use batteries or something?”

Me: “No, ma’am, ‘wireless’ means you don’t need wires between the computer and the router.”

Irate Caller: “Wireless means WIRE-LESS! If this thing has to be plugged in with a wire, I want a full refund!”

Me: “If the product isn’t what you expected, I suggest you return the device to your local retailer.”

Irate Caller: “NO! That’s not good enough! They won’t take it back because it’s been opened! I want you to give me a refund!”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t provide refunds unless a product’s functionality is grossly mis-advertised. You need to speak to–”

Irate Caller: “NO! You’ll give me a refund right now, you f****** son of a b****, and you’ll do it right f****** now!”

Me: “Ma’am, throwing a temper tantrum like a five-year-old is not going to get you something that we’re incapable of giving you.”

Irate Caller: “You can’t speak to me like that! Transfer me to your manager at once!”

Me: “No.”

Irate Caller: “What?”

(Contrary to popular belief, most companies don’t REQUIRE techs to transfer to supervisors simply because they’re told to by a customer).

Me: “I said no. I will not transfer you to my supervisor. This is a non-escalatable issue.”

Irate Caller: “But you have to!”

Me: “No, I really don’t, and since you already blasted me with profanity, technically, I could have disconnected the call already.”

Irate Caller: “Well, I’m sorry… Can I have my refund now?”

Me: “I told you, I can’t give you a refund for this product. You need to contact your retailer.”

Irate Caller: “F*** you! You f****** r****ds are ripping me the f*** off! F*** you!”

Me: “Thank you for contacting tech support and have a nice day!”

Irate Caller: “Wait! I’m sorry!”

Me: *click*

[florida80]

A Dose By Any Other Name
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 3, 2012
Customer: “Hey, I want some Tylenol.”

Me: “For children or for adults?”

Customer: “For adults.”

Me: “At the moment, we only have the generic kind available. You know, paracetamol, also known as acetaminophen?”

Customer: “No! I don’t want any acetaminophen! Give me the other one!”

Me: “Ma’am, they are the same thing, just different names for the same ingredient.”

Customer: “Well, I just want the first one you named. Just don’t give me the other one.”

[florida80]

Harvested From The Great Nyquil Tree
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 25, 2012
Patient: “Hi, my 6-month-old grandson has some congestion in his nose and a fever. I gave him some NyQuil yesterday and that seemed to help. Is there anything you would recommend?”

Me: “For the congestion, you can use these saline drops, they’re–”

Patient: “No! I don’t wanna use that medicated stuff.”

Me: “All right. Well, for the fever you can try this Tylenol. Do you know the wei–”

Patient: “No! I don’t want to use that! It has acetaminophen in it! That’s not safe for babies.”

Me: “Actually, acetaminophen is quite safe for infants.”

Patient: “You’re a pharmacist. You would say that!”

Me: “Well, the only other option is the Advil.”

Patient: “That has acetaminophen too!”

Me: “No, that has ibuprofen. Which is also saf–”

Patient: “No, it isn’t!”

Me: “Are you aware that NyQuil has acetaminophen in it?”

Patient: “You lie! NyQuil has NyQuil in it! Isn’t there anything more natural I can give?!”

Me: “No.”

Patient: “You’re useless!” *storms off*

[florida80]

It’s The Small Victories
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 21, 2012
(I’ve been working for a quite a while, so my voice is scratchy. Near the end of my shift, an old man comes to the counter.)

Customer: “Hm. You’re losing your voice there, eh?”

Me: “Haha. A little bit, I suppose.”

Customer: “Well, that’s the end of the world for a woman.”

Me: “Ha ha…” *confused as to where he’s going with this*

Customer: “HAHAHA, YOU CAN’T YELL AT ME!” *does a victory dance*

[florida80]

The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 5
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 2, 2012
Customer: “Do you have any fecal heart monitors?”

Me: “Uh…what?”

Customer: “You know, to hear the baby while it’s still in the womb?”

Me: “That would be a fetal heart monitor. Right this way…

[florida80]

Photo-synthesise A Cure
PHARMACY | RELATED | DECEMBER 17, 2011
(A mother has her sick three-year-old with her. She needs help finding medicine.)

Me: “What symptoms are you trying to treat?”

Mother: “Well, her nose…and, um, her eyes, uh… Hang on.”

(The customer digs in her purse and pulls out a photo.)

Mother: “Here’s a picture of what my daughter normally looks like, and look at her now. She’s really sick. What do you recommend?”

[florida80]

A Real Pain In The Rear
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 14, 2011
(An elderly gentleman approaches me at the counter.)

Me: “How may I help you, sir?”

Customer: “My butt hurts! I need medicine!”

Me: “All right, do you have a prescription? Or, can you tell me what exactly is wrong so that I can recommend you something that doesn’t need one?”

Customer: “I don’t know what’s wrong. But my butt hurts!”

Me: “Please go see a doctor then, sir. Without knowing what causes your pain, there’s little I can do.”

Customer: “But I don’t want to wait at the doctor’s together with all the sick people! I’ll catch a disease or something!”

Me: “That’s understandable. Maybe you could go early in the morning when fewer people are there?”

Customer: “No! I don’t want to! I want you to tell me what’s wrong! Look at my butt!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but we don’t do that–”

(The man doesn’t listen. In front of me and three other customers, he drops his pants and underwear, turns around and sticks out his butt in my direction.)

Me: “Sir, please pull up your pants again! I can’t tell what’s wrong and you will have to leave if you don’t stop that!”

Customer: “Nonsense! If you can’t tell what’s wrong from over there, come closer and get a better look!”

(My boss then comes to look at what’s going on and ends up kicking the guy out.)

Customer: *on the way out the door* “Why will no one look at my butt?!”

[florida80]

A Warm And Full(filling) Night In
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 9, 2011
(A man in his mid-30’s approaches the register. I notice that he looks a little grumpy about something.)

Me: “Hello!”

Customer: “Hi.”

(It is at this point that I notice that he only has two items to ring up: a 20oz bottle of soda and an enema.)

Me: “How are you today?”

Customer: “I’m holding an enema, what do you think?!”

Me: *speechless*

(I ring him up silently. Poor guy, I hope he feels better!)

[florida80]

D Is For Definitely Shiny
HOLIDAYS, NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY, RETAIL, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 16, 2011
(A customer walks to my register with a Halloween decoration in tow. It’s a cheap cardboard statue of a cartoon-looking black cat covered in a shiny plastic material.)

Customer: “So, why is this 3D?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

(I peer at the tag. It says “3D Cat.”)

Me: “Oh, that’s because it’s 3D.”

Customer: “No, I mean why is it ‘D’? Is it because it’s shiny?”

(A multitude of thoughts are racing through my head at this point. I debate the prospect of explaining to her what 3D actually means. In the end, I decide it’s easier to just agree with her.)

Me: “Exactly! It’s really sparkly and that’s why it’s called a 3D cat. Would you like to purchase it?”

Customer: “Oh, definitely!”

[florida80]

What’s Your Poison
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 15, 2011
(I’m a pharmacist in a rural area. A shop assistant calls me out from the dispensary to talk to a customer, who is a slightly intoxicated middle aged woman.)

Customer: “This medicine made my partner sick! Violently sick!”

Me: “Let me see. Has he had any alcohol?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Are you sure? Not even a little?”

Customer: “He doesn’t drink. Maybe only a little, but he wasn’t drunk.”

Me: “It clearly says on the label that you must not drink any alcohol while being treated with this medicine.”

Customer: “But he didn’t drink much at all. A beer shouldn’t matter, should it?”

Me: “It contains enough alcohol to–”

Customer: “But, like, you can even drive if you only drink a beer!”

Me: “That has nothing to do with–”

Customer: “I think he’d better not take this medicine. It made him violently sick!”

Me: “I think he should–”

Customer: “Thanks, I’ll tell him what you said. This medicine is a poison!” *turns around and walks out*

[florida80]

Have You Tried Dihydrogen Monoxide, Part 3
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 9, 2011
(I am standing in line at the pharmacy counter and a man rudely cuts in front of me, stating that he has been waiting in line, just in another part of the store. He assures me he’ll be quick, but I don’t buy his excuse. The following exchange occurs between him and the pharmacist.)

Customer: “I need to speak to a pharmacist immediately.”

Pharmacist: “Do you have a question about your medication?”

Customer: “Yes, it says on the bottle to take with water. I don’t drink water. Water makes you fat.”

Pharmacist: “Um, water is essential for your body, especially with those pills.”

Customer: “What about water retention? Will I just pee it out, then?”

Pharmacist: “Yeah, your body will eventually eliminate it. You should drink water, though. Your body needs plenty of water to work well, and you really don’t want to be dehydrated while on this drug.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll try it. Oh, and one more question. What about alcohol? Can I still have my alcohol?”

[florida80]

Take Two Werewolves And Call Me In The Morning
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 8, 2011
(I have just given a customer his prescription and am explaining to him the directions.)

Me: “So, just take two of these with water at night.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks. Wait, I work at night…should I take these in the day time?”

Me: “Yes, just take them before bed.”

Customer: “Okay, so they aren’t activated by the moon or anything?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: *slight disbelief* “Hmm, okay…” *turns around and leaves*

[florida80]

I’ll Take An Album Cover For 7000
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 4, 2011
(I work in the OTC section of a well-known pharmacy chain. I’m stocking the shelves in an aisle when a customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I’ve looked all over here. Where are your hemorrhoid wipes?”

Me: “Oh, those are actually down on Aisle 20.”

Customer: “Really? Why are they over there and not in this aisle with the rest of the anal care?”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “Anal care!” *points at the aisle’s sign*

(The sign she was pointing at? “Analgesics”.)

[florida80]

Like There’s No Tomorrow
PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 24, 2011
(A customer has called to ask if we carry an over the counter soap in our store.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am? I just checked and we do carry [brand] soap. However, we are all out of stock right now, but we could order some for you and it would come in tomorrow.”

Customer: “You don’t carry [brand]?”

Me: “We do carry it. We just don’t have it in right now.”

Customer: “Well, why not?”

Me: “Because other customers have purchased it. But we can order some for tomorrow.”

Customer: “Well, how long will that take?”

Me: “It’ll come in tomorrow.”

Customer: “So, how many days will that be?”

[florida80]

No Scan, No Scam
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 10, 2012
(I work in a store in a small town where most of the customers are elderly and sweet. If a price doesn’t come up, I will generally trust a customer if they say they know the exact price.)

Me: “Oh, there’s no bar code on this.”

Customer: “Well, it was $39.99, but I guess that doesn’t help you.”

Me: “Well, I can enter it manually. You’re sure it was $39.99?”

Customer: “Actually, it was…$19.99.”

Me: “Sir, do you really want me to call for a price check and make you and all the people behind you wait ten minutes for someone to come up here?”

Customer: *defeated* “…It was $39.99.”

[florida80]

Not Ever Working
PHARMACY | WORKING | JULY 9, 2012
(The pharmacy I work at has just lost several techs at once, so we’ve hired a few new people. One of these new coworkers isn’t working out at all.)

Pharmacist: “Hey, could you help out in the front for a minute? I think [coworker who isn’t working out] could use a hand.”

Me: “Sure. Hi, [regular customer], what can I do for you?”

Regular Customer: “Oh good, I’m trying to get a refill.”

New Coworker: *to Regular Customer* “I keep telling you, you don’t have any!”

Me: *to Regular Customer* “Let me just check on it for you.”

New Coworker: *to me* “Why? I already told him he didn’t have one.”

Me: “Actually, he has enough refills for the rest of the year. What are you looking at?”

New Coworker: “No, you’re wrong. I know what I saw!”

Regular Customer: “I knew I had some..I was starting to think I was going to have to call my doctor. Thank you so much, [my name]!”

New Coworker: *to Regular Customer* “You need to leave right now. GET OUT!”

Me: *to New Coworker* “Whoa, what do you think you’re doing? You do not have ANY authority to kick a patron out.”

New Coworker: “He’s being unruly.”

Me: “What? No, he’s not. You’re just being rude.”

New Coworker: “No, you’re just trying to make me look stupid. I know exactly what I saw.”

(I examine my new coworker’s computer screen.)

Me: “You were looking at the wrong person.”

New Coworker: “No, I wasn’t!”

Me: “Sorry, but the name on your screen is a woman’s. [Regular Customer] is a man. It happens.”

New Coworker: “You changed it!”

Regular Customer: “Are you kidding me? Listen kid, you were wrong. It’s not that big of a deal. It happens. Just man up already.”

New Coworker: “You, shut up! I’m not talking to you, old man!”

(The pharmacist has been listening to the entire conversation. He decides he’s had enough.)

Pharmacist: *to New Coworker* “Get over here, right now!”

New Coworker: *rudely* “I’m BUSY! I’m trying to work, but—”

Pharmacist: “Get your stuff. You’re fired.”

New Coworker: “You can’t fire me!”

(At this point, the store manager also comes over.)

Store Manager: “I can. Get your stuff. You are not longer employed here.”

New Coworker: “YOU CAN’T FIRE ME! I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG! YOU PEOPLE ARE JUST TRYING TO MAKE ME LOOK STUPID!”

Regular Customer: “No one has to try and make you look stupid, son. You’re doing a fine job of that all by yourself.”

(My coworker carried on and screamed obscenities. We ended up having to call the police to remove him from the store!)

[florida80]

Plz Change Abbrev, Stat
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 9, 2012
(If a customer gets regular medication from a pharmacy, they can have a Medicine Use Review (MUR). It’s basically talking through their meds with a pharmacist. I answer this call from a sweet elderly caller.)

Me: “Hello, pharmacy.”

Customer: “Um hello, someone just delivered my medicine. The bag has a sticker on it that says “Patient eligible for MUR.” What it is MUR?”

Me: “It stands for “Medicine Use Review,” which involves discussing your medicines with the pharmacist. However, those labels are meant for our reference, so I apologise that it’s been put on your bag by mistake. Sorry if it caused confusion.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s alright, dear. I just thought MUR might be short for murder!”

Me: “Er no, ma’am! Don’t worry, no one is going to murder you!”

Customer: “Oh, good! Thank you very much!”

[florida80]

Feeling Man-strual
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 24, 2012
(I am working the prescription counter when a big, burly 6-foot or so tall man comes to the counter. Note: I am a female.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Um, I think…” *trails off*

Me: “I’m sorry, sir…could you say that again?”

Customer: *leans in close* “I think I got my first period.”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “I’m bleeding down there, and I’m really hurting in my stomach.”

Me: “Sir, men don’t get those. You need to go to the hospital.”

Customer: “I knew you girls would be insensitive! I’m leaving!”

(I didn’t see him again. I still hope he got to a hospital!)

[florida80]

Employees Are Sharper Than You Think
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 20, 2012
(Pharmacy law in Utah says that it’s up to the pharmacist’s discretion if they want to sell insulin needles/syringes without a prescription. Our store has the policy that the patient either has to have a prescription for the syringes or for an injectable medication on file.)

Customer: “I need to get some syringes.”

Me: “Okay, I need your name so I can look up the prescription.”

Customer: “Actually, they’re not for me. They’re for my mom.”

Me: “Okay, what’s her name?”

Customer: “Well, not my mom. My best friend’s mom who’s like a mom to me.”

Me: “What’s her name?”

Customer: “Actually, it’s for her dog.”

Me: “What’s the dog’s name?”

Customer: “I…don’t know.”

Me: “Then I’m not selling you any syringes.”

Customer: *walks away in defeat*

[florida80]

Contextual Innuendos
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 19, 2012
(I’m at work on a Saturday with a clerk and a pharmacist. I notice the clerk speaking with an elderly woman out front but don’t think much of it. A few minutes later, the clerk comes back with a strange expression on her face and tells me I have to go help the woman.)

Me: “What can I help you with?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a vibrator.”

Me: “A…vibrator?”

Customer: “Yes. I had one, but I used it too much and it wore out.”

Me: “I don’t think we have anything like that. Where did you buy the first one?”

Customer: “At another pharmacy, but I want one with a long handle so it can reach better.”

(At this point I’m biting the inside of my cheek in an effort not to laugh.)

Me: “What kind of vibrator are you looking for, exactly?”

Customer: “You know! One of those that rub your feet!”

Me: “OH! Sorry, we don’t have anything like that.”

[florida80]

Not Lacking For Laxatives
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 17, 2012
Me: “**** Pharmacy, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I gotta question for you: I drank a whole thing of prune juice like water, and now I’m s***ing my brains out.”

Me: “Okay, and what did you need to know?”

Customer: “Is your generic of ducolax the same thing?”

Me: “Yes. Same thing.”

Customer: “Okay, good, because I’m gonna need a plug soon or something!”

[florida80]

Getting Burned Can Be A Pain In The Butt
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 15, 2012
(It is a very windy day during summer, and a power line has blown over in the field behind our store.)

Me: “Hello, [pharmacy] how may I help you?”

Customer: “I need to see if you have [hemorrhoid cream] in stock.”

Me: “Alright, let me check…”

(At this point, I put him on hold to check our stock when a fireman walks in. He tells us they are evacuating all the buildings in the area, and that we have 5 minutes to get out. I go back to pick up the phone so the customer isn’t on hold forever.)

Me: “Sir, we do have it in stock. However, I can’t help you right now. I’m being told to evacuate the building.”

Customer: “Does it have aloe vera in it?”

Me: “I don’t know. As I said, I need to hang up. Please call back tomorrow.”

Customer: “Can you see if you can order it for me?”

Me: “Sir, there is a field fire right behind the pharmacy and I really can’t answer your questions right now. I was told by the fire department to evacuate. Please, call back another time.”

Customer: “Well, fine then. I’ll just get it somewhere else!” *hangs up*

[florida80]

Out Of Brain Cells
PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 22, 2012
(At the pharmacy where I work, I do a lot of training of new employees. This day’s trainee is particularly slow on the uptake.)

Me: *to new employee* “Now, when the customer pays in cash and just hands you a bill, you should repeat back to them how much they gave you. For example, when a customer gives you a $20 bill, you say, ‘Out of $20,’ as you make change.”

(This is a technique to help avoid after-the-fact disputes about the denomination of the bills customers hand over.)

New Employee: “Got it.”

(The customer walks up and pays cash, handing him a $20. The new employee says nothing.)

Me: *to new employee* “What are you forgetting?”

New Employee: “Um…”

Me: “Say the amount they gave you.”

New Employee: “Oh, right…”

(The next three customers all pay cash, and as they each fork over a crisp clean $20 bill, the new employee performs flawlessly, verifying that it is indeed “Out of $20” with each transaction. I think he’s finally gotten it down until the fourth customer.)

New Employee: “That will be [price].”

Customer #4 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=4) : *hands over credit card*

New Employee: “Out of $20!”

Me: *facepalm*

[florida80]

Time To Start Screening Customers
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MAY 19, 2012
(A customer slams a bottle of sunblock on the counter.)

Customer: “This is worthless! I can’t believe you sell this!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir.” *examines the empty bottle* “But this is the highest protection factor we have.”

Customer: “Well, it’s crap! I want a refund!”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t refund an empty bottle; it’s store policy.”

Customer: “Well, what do you expect?! I have two large windows!”

[florida80]

A Game Of Kat And Birdie
PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 5, 2012
(I work at a pharmacy and we are very busy, causing a few customers having to wait. The last woman in line finally steps up.)

Me: “I apologize for your wait. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Does your name tag say your name is Kat?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Did you have some crazy new age parents or something? Why would they name you after an animal? That’s just dumb! You should have a good sturdy name, like mine!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but what can I help you with?”

Customer: “I need a refill.”

Me: “Of course. Can I get your date of birth?”

Customer: *gives me her date of birth* “And the prescription is under Birdie.”

Me: “Okay, it’s put in and will be ready in 15 minutes.”

Customer: “Thank you. I’m sorry you have such a foolish name.”

Pharmacist: “Did that woman just tell you your name was foolish and complain about people with “animal” names?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Pharmacist: “But her name was Birdie…”

[florida80]

Less Is More, More Or Less, Part 3
DRUG STORE, PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 30, 2012
(Our store regularly runs a promotion on the various vitamin brands for ‘BOGO’, buy 1, get 1 free. A customer comes up to the register with a bottle of a brand on the BOGO promotion. I am also an avid couponer and I regularly take in coupons for items we carry that I won’t use so that I can give them to customers.)

Me: “Sir, I see you’re buying a [brand] item. This week we currently have this whole line at Buy One, Get One Free. If you do get another one, I also have a coupon I can give you which is good for $2 off two items. So instead of getting one for $9.99 you can get 2 for eight bucks and change.”

Customer: *quite angrily* “What the h*** is wrong with you people? I just want my vitamins. Why are you always trying to push me to buy extra stuff and give you more money!?”

Me: “I’m…sir, I apologize. I probably wasn’t clear you’ll get twice as many vitamins and spend two dollars less—”

Customer: “Oh f*** this. You’re all scam artists!” *storms off without paying*

Me: *stares in disbelief*

Next Customer:“So…can I use that coupon?”

[florida80]

No Pain, No Vain
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 29, 2012
(A customer comes in to return a home leg waxing kit.)

Me: “Can I ask why you are unsatisfied with this product?”

Customer: “It hurts!”

Me: “Yes, because waxing involves ripping the hair out by the roots.”

Customer: “Well, it shouldn’t hurt!”

[florida80]

You Better Belize It
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 19, 2012
(I live in Belize. A lot of tourists think they can get away with anything in my country. One day, a foreigner walks into the store.)

Customer: “Can I get some Diazepam?”

Me: “Do you have a prescription?”

Customer: *tries to look bewildered* “Do I need one?”

Me: “Yes, especially since it’s a controlled substance.”

Customer: “It is?” *scoffs* “Well I didn’t know that. Some Xanax, then.”

Me: “That is a controlled substance too. Valium, Xanax, alprazolam, lorazepam, diazepam…they’re all controlled.”

Customer: “Well, then!” *hurriedly walks out of the store*

[florida80]

Why You Always Bring Your Own Dinnerware
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 3, 2012
(An elderly lady approaches the counter.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I need some dish bags.”

(Unaware of what dish bags are, I assume she means dish rags.)

Me: “I’m not sure what that is and if we carry it. I would look in the cleaning section.”

Customer: “Well, my doctor said I could get it here.”

Me: “Okay, well I would check that aisle.”

(The customer leaves and returns after a couple minutes.)

Customer: “I didn’t find them!”

Me: “Can you tell me again what it is you need?”

Customer: “Dish bags.”

Me: “And you say your doctor told you to get them here?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry. I’ve never heard of dish bags and I don’t believe I’ve seen anything like that here.”

Customer: “Well, this is ridiculous! What am I going to do?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, would you like me to ask our pharmacist about them?”

Customer: “Yes!”

(I go get the pharmacist to assist me.)

Pharmacist: “So, what is a dish bag used for?”

Customer: “Jeeze! You clean your lady parts with it!”

[florida80]

Perhaps There’s Insufficient Blood To Your Brain
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 24, 2012
(We have a free self-use blood pressure machine in our pharmacy.)

Customer: “When are you going to fix your blood pressure machine?”

Pharmacist: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Your blood pressure machine is broken. Every time I come in here, it doesn’t work! You should really take care of it. Lots of old people need to check their blood pressure, you know!”

Me: “Are you sure? I just filled the paper roll the other day. It was working fine.”

Customer: “No, it’s not! I’ve been trying to use it for days. It’s not working. You should really take care of it!”

(I take a look at the machine and try to troubleshoot the problem. I sit in the seat, roll up my sleeve, put it in the cuff, and push the big green “Start” button. The cuff inflates normally.)

Customer: “You mean you’re suppose to push that button?!”

[florida80]

Weekend Roundup: Don’t Mess With Employees
FAST FOOD, GUN STORE, PHARMACY, TECH SUPPORT | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 19, 2012
Introducing Weekend Roundups: each week, we’ll be featuring some of our favorite stories from the Not Always Right archives.

Don’t Mess With Employees! This week, we feature five stories that teach misbehaving customers the consequences of messing with employees.

In Real Hot Sauce Now:
A young teenage employee decides her dignity is worth more than £3.71 and dealing with a cowardly manager.
A Good Ol’ Fashioned A** Whoopin’:
A customer tries to rough up an employee, but ends up getting roughed up by the manager instead.
Hard Drugs And Harder Pharmacists:
Teenage robber, meet Doug. Doug is our new pharmacy tech. Doug is also built like a fridge.
Who’s Got The Power Now:
Tech support is happy to support your technology. Supporting your potty mouth, not so much.
Your Prank Got Spanked:
A prank caller picks the wrong, well-armed store to call.

[florida80]

A Dose By Any Other Name
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 3, 2012
Customer: “Hey, I want some Tylenol.”

Me: “For children or for adults?”

Customer: “For adults.”

Me: “At the moment, we only have the generic kind available. You know, paracetamol, also known as acetaminophen?”

Customer: “No! I don’t want any acetaminophen! Give me the other one!”

Me: “Ma’am, they are the same thing, just different names for the same ingredient.”

Customer: “Well, I just want the first one you named. Just don’t give me the other one.”