The Bathroom Is Not The Only Thing Getting A Deep Clean
 

The Bathroom Is Not The Only Thing Getting A Deep Clean

Great Stuff, Ignoring & Inattentive, North Carolina, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 15, 2018


(I work at a very busy pharmacy. One evening, our men’s restroom takes a turn for the worst and I have the privilege of setting it straight. I post a sign on the door that says, “CLOSED FOR CLEANING,” in red marker, and gather my supplies. A few minutes into the job, the door opens, and a man sticks his head in and asks:)

Man: “Is the bathroom closed?”

(It has been a really long day, with a lot of stupid questions, and I just can’t help myself.)

Me: *snapping a blue glove onto my hand* “Nope, we are giving out free prostate exams. I don’t have any lube, but I do have bleach. Step on in so we can get this over with.”

(He no longer needed the restroom.)

Unfiltered Story #124979
 

Unfiltered Story #124979

Pharmacy, Providence, Rhode Island, USA | Unfiltered | November 11, 2018


(I take my nine-year-old daughter to the pharmacy because she has some pocket money to spend and wants to pick up a few treats. I enter my phone number to pull up my card number so my daughter would get any sale prices, but otherwise I am not involved in the transaction. I stand back as my daughter puts her items on the counter.)

Cashier: *looking up at me* “Would you like to donate a dollar to [charity] today?”

Me: *pointing back at my daughter* “She’s the one buying, not me.”

Cashier: *to daughter this time* “Would you like to donate a dollar to [charity] today?”

Daughter: “Sure, I’ll donate a dollar! I have the extra money, and it is for charity!”

(The cashier and her manager were shocked, but impressed, and quickly thanked my daughter!)

Renovate Or Stagnate
 

Renovate Or Stagnate

Jerk, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 10, 2018


(I work as a cashier in a popular pharmacy. Recently our store has been doing some renovations. Nothing too big, just moving some shelves around and moving all the registers to one side of the store. One night I come into work and have this conversation with a customer.)

Customer: “You guys are going to be closed within six months.”

Me: *confused* “What do you mean, sir?”

Customer: “You moved everything around. How are we supposed to find anything?! You moved the toilet paper next to the freezers! Now what sense does that make?! You be closed within a year, mark my words.”

Me: *slightly shocked but still smiling and courteous* “Well, I hope not, sir.”

Customer: “You will. YOU WILL!”

Me: “Can I get your store card, sir?”

Customer: “…”

(I ring him up and things go smoothly until I hand him the receipt.)

Me: “Okay, here’s your receipt, sir.”

Customer: “I’ve been shopping here for seven f****** years, and you go and change things like this!”

Me: “Well, thank you for shopping with us today, sir.”

Customer: *glares and walks out*

Not Buying It? Yeah, I’m Not Buying That
 

Not Buying It? Yeah, I’m Not Buying That

Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Children, Connecticut, Funny Kids, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 6, 2018


(I am a pharmacy technician. At the pharmacy where I work, we have those special shopping carts for small children, shaped like cars. I’m helping a family — a mom, teenage daughter, and a preschool girl, roughly four or five — with one such cart. They have a few items to ring out besides their prescriptions. I notice the little girl is holding something in her hands. Thinking it’s a toy her mom promised to buy her, I point it out to her sister.)

Me: *pointing at the girl* “Are you buying that, as well?”

Sister: “Buying… Oh, where did you get that?! May I see that? Thank you. We’re just going to put that over here.” *puts it on the counter, clearly not buying it*

(It was a bottle of shampoo, by the way. On closer inspection, the sister pulled out — I kid you not — over twenty more bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and other hair care products. The little girl must’ve grabbed everything when they drove through the beauty section. The sister was apologetic and everything, just glad I said something, as some of the stuff was really pricey, and everything in her car easily came out to over $100. The kid’s going to have really expensive tastes when she grows up!)

Knows How To Push Your Buttons By Not Knowing How To Push Buttons
 

Knows How To Push Your Buttons By Not Knowing How To Push Buttons

Connecticut, Extra Stupid, Ignoring & Inattentive, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 4, 2018


(We keep certain cold medicines in a locked case due to high theft and due to teenagers using them to get high. There’s a button right next to said case, clearly labeled, to press for assistance. Pressing the button sends out a message over the PA system for a front store associate to come unlock the case and bring the items to the till. It’s a Sunday morning when this happens.)

Customer #1: “Hi, your medicine case is locked; can you come unlock it for me?”

Me: “We don’t have the keys to unlock it. You just press the button and someone will come get it.”

Customer #1: “Where? I can’t find it!”

(I start to walk out of the pharmacy to show her, when she finds it and hits the button. About ten minutes later, another customer walks up.)

Customer #2: “Hey, can you guys unlock the case?”

Me: “No, but there’s a button you can press and someone with the keys can unlock it.”

(Not even five minutes later, the button sounds.)

Me: “It’s not even nine yet.”

Coupon Comeback
 

Coupon Comeback

At The Checkout, Coupon, Pharmacy, USA | Right | October 24, 2018


(I work at a very well-known pharmacy. It’s a shame how often I have this conversation.)

Me: *while handing them their receipt* “Okay, here’s your receipt. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “Oh, I have a coupon. Is it too late to use it?”

Me: “…”

The Reason Why Some Of Us Are Medicated:
 

The Reason Why Some Of Us Are Medicated:

Call Center, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Florida, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | October 24, 2018


(I work as a customer service representative. Our company manages prescription plans for a government-run insurance primarily for seniors. We also function as a mail-order pharmacy. This call takes place while I’m still in training during my first week taking calls.)

Me: “This is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah. My husband needs to start taking [drug]. I want to know if his plan will cover it.”

Me: “I can certainly check that for you, ma’am. May I have some information?”

(After I verify her husband’s account information, I look up the medication.)

Me: “Okay. Your husband’s insurance will cover that for an approximate cost of [total].”

Customer: “Well, that seems like too much, but he needs it. Can you send it to him, please?”

Me: “Let me see.”

(I check, and we do not have a prescription for it, nor has another pharmacy filed a claim.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We will need your husband’s doctor to send us a new prescription before we can fill it.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, his doctor won’t write it. You have to stop drinking for six months, and my husband likes to have a beer or two every night, so the doctor won’t write one.”

Me: “I’m sorry. But without a prescription, we cannot send a medication.”

Customer: *getting angry* “But I told you that his doctor won’t write the prescription! Can’t you just send it if we pay full price?”

Me: “Again, ma’am, I’m sorry, but we must have a prescription before we can send the medication.”

Customer: “Well, why can’t you just send it?!”

Me: *rubbing my temples at this point* “Ma’am, that would be illegal.”

It All Boils Down To This
 

It All Boils Down To This

Health & Body, Parents, Pharmacy, Singapore | Right | January 12, 2019


(A young mother pushes her baby over in a pram and tells me that her baby took some “warm” water and splashed his face with it the day before. I look at the baby and he seems bubbly and happy. There is barely any sign of redness of his skin and there are no blisters, either.)

Me: “There’s isn’t any redness at all. He seems fine.”

Mother: “There’s a mark here.” *points under his eye*

Me: “Well, it’s not that obvious. You shouldn’t need to do anything about it. It’ll go away on its own.”

Mother: “The water got in his eyes.”

(I look at the baby’s eyes. There is also no redness.)

Me: “He looks fine. He’s not crying, either.”

Mother: “He cried for ten minutes yesterday. Will it leave a scar?”

Me: “No… his skin did not even get damaged. You really don’t have to do anything.”

(The mother looked a bit relieved yet doubtful at the same time but she thanked me anyway. Later she came back and asked if sun protection was needed to prevent scarring. Just to satisfy my curiosity, I asked if she really meant “warm” water or if she meant “hot” water. She told me that it was freshly boiled water with a triumphant expression. Well, either this baby has skin made of steel… or she left the boiled water out longer than she thought and it had cooled down already!)

Behaving Poorly
 

Behaving Poorly

Criminal & Illegal, Health & Body, Pharmacy, UK | Legal | November 28, 2018


(I am full of a chest cold and have struggled to the pharmacy to stock up on decongestants, so I can go back to bed for as long as possible. My spouse has texted to ask me to pick up extra, as he’s starting with the same cold. As I look through the shelf of cold and flu medication, I notice that everything contains either paracetamol — acetaminophen — or ibuprofen. There are laws limiting the sale of those medications in the UK, which have significantly reduced intentional and accidental overdoses.)

Me: *pointing at shelf* “Excuse me. How many packets am I allowed to buy?”

Assistant: “Only two, I’m afraid.”

Me: “Oh, bother. For two of us poorly, that’s only two days’ worth. Never mind. I’ll just have to come back again.”

Assistant: “Well, unless you have a consultation with the pharmacist…”

(Fortunately, the pharmacist agrees to authorise sale of two packets each for me and my spouse, and after thanking her, I pay.)

Assistant: “People are so rude about the limit, though. You should hear what they’re like when we have to say no.”

Me: “What? But they do know it’s actually the law and not just [Pharmacy] policy?”

Assistant: “Yes. One man shouted at me for several minutes because I wouldn’t sell him ten packets of paracetamol in one go. Then he said, ‘I’m just going to come back in fifteen minutes to buy more and you won’t remember me.’”

Me: “I’m not sure that’s how that works.”

Assistant: “Yeah, he was pretty memorable by that point.”

Me: “And instead he could just have gone to [Shop twenty metres away] and [Shop fifty metres away], which both sell that kind of medicine.”

Assistant: “Exactly!”

Medication To Cure Delusions Of Self-Importance
 

Medication To Cure Delusions Of Self-Importance

Australia, Crazy Requests, Jerk, Melbourne, Pharmacy, Victoria | Right | November 28, 2018


(The phone rings.)

Me: “Good morning, [Pharmacy]. This is [My Name] speaking.”

Customer: “I need to speak to the pharmacist.”

Me: “Sorry, the pharmacist is consulting at the moment. Maybe I can help you?”

Customer: “No. It’s super urgent. Only the pharmacist can answer this question.”

(Luckily, the pharmacist has just finished consulting.)

Me: “Oh! The pharmacist has just finished consulting. I will put you on.”

Pharmacist: “Hello? [Pharmacist] speaking.”

Customer: “What time do you guys close?”

Will Never Look Back Again
 

Will Never Look Back Again

Health & Body, Language & Words, Montana, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 20, 2018


(I work on the retail side of a pharmacy, usually stocking shelves or helping customers. One day a young lady, maybe 19 or 20, approaches me, clearly embarrassed.)

Customer: *whispering* “Do you have, um, like, douches, but, um, for, like, the…” *I can now barely hear her* “…butt?”

Me: *stifling laughter* “Enema. The word you’re looking for is ‘enema,’ and yes, over this way.”

(I will forever call them “butt douches” from now on

This Story Has Some Darker Connotations
 

This Story Has Some Darker Connotations

British Columbia, Canada, Language & Words, Pharmacy, Vancouver | Right | November 19, 2018


(I’m the customer in this story. I am Caucasian, of Irish and Scottish descent, and have extremely pale skin.)

Me: “Hi. Do you have melanin?”

Pharmacy Worker: “Sorry?”

Me: “Melanin, do you guys carry it?”

Pharmacy Worker: “No, I don’t think so.”

Me: “Drat, are you sure? My doctor told me I should get some before I went on my trip.”

Pharmacy Worker: “I don’t think it works like that.”

Me: “With respect, I’m going to listen to my doctor about how to treat my jet lag.”

Pharmacy Worker: “Jet lag? OH! You mean melatonin!“

Me: “Yes! Wait, did I say, ‘melanin’? Oh, my God, oops.”

(Melatonin is a sleep-related hormone you can buy over the counter in Canada; melanin is the compound that darkens your skin when you tan. I may be a bit short on melanin, but I wasn’t expecting to buy it at the pharmacy!)

Exploring The Amazon Gets You Nowhere
 

Exploring The Amazon Gets You Nowhere

At The Checkout, California, Extra Stupid, Ignoring & Inattentive, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 15, 2018


(It’s about twenty minutes before closing and there’s one customer left in the store. This particular customer always comes in about two hours before closing every night and wanders the store until closing. He only ever buys two or three small items. He comes up to my register.)

Me: *after ringing in his items* “Your total is [total]. How would you like to pay?”

Customer: “I have a gift card.”

(We accept gift cards so I see no problem, until the customer hands me the card.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but this is an Amazon gift card. You can only use it on Amazon.”

Customer: “No. I can use it here, too. You guys accept gift cards.”

Me: “We do accept certain gift cards, but you can’t use this one here.”

Customer: “Just scan it; you’ll see that it works!”

Me: “Sir, there is no barcode or magnetic strip on this card. There’s only a number on the back that you can type in on the Amazon website. You can’t use this here. Do you have another form of payment?”

Customer: *getting irritated* “I don’t know why you won’t just use it! I’ve used it here before!”

Me: “Sir, we don’t accept these. I need another form of payment.”

Customer: “Just use this card!”

(This goes back and forth for several minutes.)

Customer: “Where in here does it say I can’t use gift cards?!”

Me: “Right here on the back of the card.” *reads where the card says it can only be used on Amazon*

Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?!”

(He grabbed his items and slammed it back down on the shelf and stormed out. By then it was twenty minutes past cl

The Bathroom Is Not The Only Thing Getting A Deep Clean
 

The Bathroom I work at a very busy pharmacy. One evening, our men’s restroom takes a turn for the worst and I have the privilege of setting it straight. I post a sign on the door that says, “CLOSED FOR CLEANING,” in red marker, and gather my supplies. A few minutes into the job, the door opens, and a man sticks his head in and asks:)

Man: “Is the bathroom closed?”

(It has been a really long day, with a lot of stupid questions, and I just can’t help myself.)

Me: *snapping a blue glove onto my hand* “Nope, we are giving out free prostate exams. I don’t have any lube, but I do have bleach. Step on in so we can get this over with.”

(He no longer needed the restroom.)
Is Not The Only Thing Getting A Deep Clean

Unfiltered Story #124979
 

Unfiltered Story #124979

Pharmacy, Providence, Rhode Island, USA | Unfiltered | November 11, 2018


(I take my nine-year-old daughter to the pharmacy because she has some pocket money to spend and wants to pick up a few treats. I enter my phone number to pull up my card number so my daughter would get any sale prices, but otherwise I am not involved in the transaction. I stand back as my daughter puts her items on the counter.)

Cashier: *looking up at me* “Would you like to donate a dollar to [charity] today?”

Me: *pointing back at my daughter* “She’s the one buying, not me.”

Cashier: *to daughter this time* “Would you like to donate a dollar to [charity] today?”

Daughter: “Sure, I’ll donate a dollar! I have the extra money, and it is for charity!”

(The cashier and her manager were shocked, but impressed, and quickly thanked my daughter!)

Renovate Or Stagnate
 

Renovate Or Stagnate

Jerk, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 10, 2018


(I work as a cashier in a popular pharmacy. Recently our store has been doing some renovations. Nothing too big, just moving some shelves around and moving all the registers to one side of the store. One night I come into work and have this conversation with a customer.)

Customer: “You guys are going to be closed within six months.”

Me: *confused* “What do you mean, sir?”

Customer: “You moved everything around. How are we supposed to find anything?! You moved the toilet paper next to the freezers! Now what sense does that make?! You be closed within a year, mark my words.”

Me: *slightly shocked but still smiling and courteous* “Well, I hope not, sir.”

Customer: “You will. YOU WILL!”

Me: “Can I get your store card, sir?”

Customer: “…”

(I ring him up and things go smoothly until I hand him the receipt.)

Me: “Okay, here’s your receipt, sir.”

Customer: “I’ve been shopping here for seven f****** years, and you go and change things like this!”

Me: “Well, thank you for shopping with us today, sir.”

Customer: *glares and walks out*

Their Knowledge Is A Bit Patchy
 

Their Knowledge Is A Bit Patchy

Australia, Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Hobart, Pharmacy, Tasmania | Right | November 7, 2018


(I am selling a customer nicotine patches to help them quit smoking.)

Customer: “So, can I still smoke when I’m wearing the patches? Someone said I can.”

Me: *head-desks internally*

Not Buying It? Yeah, I’m Not Buying That
 

Not Buying It? Yeah, I’m Not Buying That

Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Children, Connecticut, Funny Kids, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 6, 2018


(I am a pharmacy technician. At the pharmacy where I work, we have those special shopping carts for small children, shaped like cars. I’m helping a family — a mom, teenage daughter, and a preschool girl, roughly four or five — with one such cart. They have a few items to ring out besides their prescriptions. I notice the little girl is holding something in her hands. Thinking it’s a toy her mom promised to buy her, I point it out to her sister.)

Me: *pointing at the girl* “Are you buying that, as well?”

Sister: “Buying… Oh, where did you get that?! May I see that? Thank you. We’re just going to put that over here.” *puts it on the counter, clearly not buying it*

(It was a bottle of shampoo, by the way. On closer inspection, the sister pulled out — I kid you not — over twenty more bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and other hair care products. The little girl must’ve grabbed everything when they drove through the beauty section. The sister was apologetic and everything, just glad I said something, as some of the stuff was really pricey, and everything in her car easily came out to over $100. The kid’s going to have really expensive tastes when she grows up!)

Knows How To Push Your Buttons By Not Knowing How To Push Buttons
 

Knows How To Push Your Buttons By Not Knowing How To Push Buttons

Connecticut, Extra Stupid, Ignoring & Inattentive, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 4, 2018


(We keep certain cold medicines in a locked case due to high theft and due to teenagers using them to get high. There’s a button right next to said case, clearly labeled, to press for assistance. Pressing the button sends out a message over the PA system for a front store associate to come unlock the case and bring the items to the till. It’s a Sunday morning when this happens.)

Customer #1: “Hi, your medicine case is locked; can you come unlock it for me?”

Me: “We don’t have the keys to unlock it. You just press the button and someone will come get it.”

Customer #1: “Where? I can’t find it!”

(I start to walk out of the pharmacy to show her, when she finds it and hits the button. About ten minutes later, another customer walks up.)

Customer #2: “Hey, can you guys unlock the case?”

Me: “No, but there’s a button you can press and someone with the keys can unlock it.”

(Not even five minutes later, the button sounds.)

Me: “It’s not even nine yet.”

Possibly Hoping For Telepathic Texts
 

Possibly Hoping For Telepathic Texts

Boston, Extra Stupid, Massachusetts, Pharmacy, Technology, USA | Right | October 29, 2018


(I work as a pharmacy technician at one a major pharmacy chains. Recently, store management has been pushing for the pharmacy employees to try and get customers to sign up for text message alerts when their prescription is ready for pick up.)

Me: *having gone through most of the transaction* “Do you get cell phone text alerts when your scripts are ready?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Would you like to?”

Customer: “Sure!”

Me: “All right, what cell number should we have in our system for us to text to?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t have a cell phone.”

Me: “Then… you can’t receive text messages.”

(Sadly, this exchange has happened at least five times!)