You’re In Deep Heat Now
MEDICAL OFFICE, TIME, UK | HEALTHY | JANUARY 1, 2018
(A woman waddles into the building.)
Woman: “I need to see a doctor.”
Me: “Do you have an appointment?”
Woman: “No, I need to see one now.”
Me: “I’m sorry, emergency appointments ended at 11. I can make you an appointment, however, for next week?”
Woman: “NO! IT HAS TO BE NOW!”
Me: “If it’s an emergency you need to go to A&E. Should i call an ambulance?”
Woman: *jumping on the desk* “I RUBBED ‘DEEP HEAT’ ON MY GARDEN PATCH. IT F****** KILLS!”
Me: “Oh, umm. Like I said, if it’s an emergency, you need to go to A&E.”
(She huffed and waddled out, screaming about how incompetent we all were. I haven’t seen her personally since, but a letter came through from the local hospital for her, with a prescription for something which treats chemical burns. I’m fairly certain Deep Heat wasn’t involved in whatever she was doing.)
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