Out Of Control On Animal Control
Fast Food, Restaurant | Working | December 11, 2013
(I’m waiting to order when I hear a scream from a few tables over.)
Customer: “Aaah! Rat! No… raccoon!”
(Sure enough, there’s a small but well-fed raccoon sitting calmly on an empty table and eating crumbs.)
Customer: “Careful! It could be rabid!”
(A waiter and waitress come over, not looking overly concerned.)
Waiter: “Naw, that’s Jerry. He’s usually out back getting into the dumpster, but he’s friendly.”
(The waiter flaps his hands at the raccoon.)
Waiter: “Hey, Jerry, f*** off! You live outside!”
Waitress: “He ain’t leaving. Want me to call animal control?”
Waiter: “Yeah, better call. I don’t want to get bit. I think we have the number written down.”
Waitress: “Don’t worry! I got it on speed dial!”
Owner: *shouting from the kitchen* “What did I say about saying that near customers?!”
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