You’re A Cabron
CALIFORNIA, HOSPITAL, USA, WORDPLAY | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 10, 2017
(I, and two friends, go to visit a friend in the hospital. We know his room number, but it doesn’t correlate to the floor he is on, so we head back down to reception to find that out. When we get there, there are people ahead of us. One of them rips into the receptionist (who is in a security guard uniform) because they hadn’t been speaking English. At least half the population of Orange County speaks Spanish, if not natively, very fluently, like most of southern California. I offer my opinion
Me: “I think the basic problem here is that you’re an a**-hole.”
Man: “You think I’m an a**-hole because I think they should speak English?”
Me: “Yes. That’s why I think you’re an a**-hole.”
(He tries to offer up every racist justification in the book, and in reply to each one, I say
Me: “And you’re an a**-hole.”
(After about 30 seconds of being reminded just what part of the human anatomy he was, he got disgusted and left. I didn’t notice it at the time, but apparently the receptionist/security guard spent the entire time trying desperately not to laugh, and nearly succeeding. I sincerely hope she went home and told her family the story over dinner — in Spanish.)