He Gin-uinely Tried It
Friends, Health & Body, Home, New York, New York City, Stupid, USA | Healthy | August 27, 2019
(I am a student nurse, about a year from graduation. A friend of mine calls.)
Me: “Hello?”
Friend: “So, you’re a nurse, right?”
Me: “I already don’t like where this is going, and I’m a student nurse. Not–”
Friend: “Okay, well, I have some gravel deep in my hand. Can I just pour some gin on it and be fine?”
(Gin also happens to be his favorite alcohol.)
Me: “What?! Hang on; how did you get gravel in your hand and how deep is it?”
Friend: “I was on my bike and some a**hole opened their car door right in front of me and I went down pretty hard. And here, let me just take a picture.”
(He sends me a picture of his hand, showing that the gravel is dug in pretty deep and firmly stuck in so rinsing it with anything won’t get it out.)
Me: “You need to get tweezers and pull out the gravel, rinse it with water, put something like Neosporin on it, and cover it with a bandaid.”
Friend: “Well, I don’t have tweezers or any of that, really.”
Me: “You live in NYC. There’s definitely some kind of drug store or corner store you can get this stuff in.”
Friend: “I don’t want to spend money on things I already have at home, so can I just pour gin on it?”
Me: *sighs* “I cannot condone this at all but rinsing it with water is probably the best option.”
Friend: “So, gin is okay?”
Me: “If you’re intent on using alcohol, use straight vodka, instead, BUT I CANNOT CONDO–”
Friend: “Okay, thanks, bye!” *hangs up*
(He texts me a picture of his hand. He has used a prong of his watch to dig out the gravel, causing himself to bleed more and making the entire area fairly red. He texts me an hour or so later.)
Friend: “The barkeeper wouldn’t just give me some vodka, so I had to buy it and go into the bathroom to rinse it. Thanks again!”
Me: “This still was not your best option and I cannot condone this behavior.”
(He never replied.)
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