Surgery For Dummies
Friends, Health & Body, Home, Michigan, Silly, USA | Healthy | August 6, 2019
(I have a strange sense of humor and enjoy talking about ordinary events in outlandish ways. I am texting a good friend of mine who shares my sense of humor and regularly exchanges joking threats with me. She also happens to be the daughter of a nurse. I am in no way a healthcare professional.)
Me: “Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you something. I performed gastric surgery today!”
Friend: “Oh…”
Me: “I’ve been meaning to get around to it for a while, but there was never a time when I could do it. Well, I did it today and the patient was just fine. Didn’t even want anesthetic.”
Friend: “I… I’m curious but scared.”
Me: “Here she is!” *sends a picture of a stuffed dog*
(The stuffed dog in question is very precious to me and sustained a long rip along a seam running down its stomach. I have sewn it up before the inner netting can break, too, and spill plastic pellets everywhere.)
Friend: “Holy crap, I was terrified, [My Name]!”
Me: *laughing way too hard*
Friend: “We’re gonna get that freaking cosplay blade we were talking about earlier and I’m going to find a way to stab you with it.”
(I was not stabbed.)
|