Hey, Google, What Kind Of Cancer Do I Have?
CONNECTICUT, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 18, 2018
(I stop in a pharmacy to pick up some medication. I hear the following from a lady next to me.)
Woman: “I want to buy this!”
(She points at medicine on the shelf behind the pharmacist.)
Pharmacist: “That’s prescription medication. You can’t buy that. I’m sorry.”
Woman: “I NEED IT!”
Pharmacist: “Okay, well, we still can’t give you the medication. You need a prescription.”
Woman: “No! WEBMD SAID I HAVE CANCER AND I NEED THIS!”
Pharmacist: “Ma’am, I recommend you see your doctor before you get a self-diagnosis off of the Internet.”
Woman: “You’re a doctor! And I KNOW I HAVE CANCER!”
Pharmacist: “Actually, I’m not a—”
Woman: “YOU ALL WANT ME TO DIE OF CANCER! I AM REPORTING YOU TO THE POLICE!”
(She then proceeds to run out of the store, knocking down several displays and screaming “I NEED PENICILLIN! I HAVE CANCER!”)
Me: *mumbling* “How does she think penicillin will cure cancer, anyway?”
Pharmacist: “That’s not even penicillin.”
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