Had The Gall To Feed You
Florida, Hospital, Nurses, Stupid, USA | Healthy | June 3, 2019
(I’ve just had gallbladder surgery. They want to keep me overnight for observation. A nurse brings me a dinner tray. I am surprised to find a full meal plus a soda.)
Me: “Um, hey… They said I wasn’t supposed to have solid food yet.”
Nurse
#1 : “No, you can have this. It’s been approved. No worries.”
(I’m slightly confused, but I figure I must’ve misheard while I was still loopy from anesthesia. I get a couple sips of soda in and a bite of food before I feel the urge to empty my stomach. Thankfully, another nurse is walking by and runs in to get a bucket.)
Nurse
#2 : “Yep, that sometimes happens after gallbladder surgery. No worries, hon. Glad I was walking by, eh?”
(She glances over at the tray of food and raises an eyebrow.)
Nurse
#2 : “Where did that come from?”
Me: “Someone brought it in ten minutes ago. They said I could have it.”
Nurse
#2 : *calmly* “No. No. Absolutely not. You get clear liquids tonight. No carbonation, either. Let me get this out of here, and I’ll find you some Jello.”
(She picks up the tray and walks out the door. I hear the following as she disappears down the hallway.)
Nurse
#2 : “ALL RIGHT! WHO WAS THE DUMBA** THAT GAVE A GALLBLADDER PATIENT REAL FOOD? TELL ME NOW!”