Did… Did It Work?
Bizarre, Current Events, Doctor/Physician, Malaysia, Religion, Silly | Healthy | March 14, 2021
This is a story my colleague told me about his uncle. His uncle is rather superstitious and believes in a lot of weird things. When he tests positive for a certain rapidly spreading illness, his first reaction is to go to a bomoh — Malaysian witch-doctor — for an exorcism. For various reasons, my colleague is stuck accompanying his uncle to the bomoh.
Bomoh: “Okay, I can exorcise you. Hold still, please.”
Uncle: “Okay.”
Bomoh: “Begone, evil spirits!”
He pulls out a toy laser gun and points it at [Uncle]’s head.
Bomoh: “All-laaah!”
Typing this out does not give it justice. The way my colleague repeated it, it sounded like a mix of singsong, bombastic, and high.
He pulls the trigger and the gun lights up.
Bomoh: “Fire, fire, fire! Pew, pew, pew! Fire, fire, fire!”
My colleague’s jaw drops, [Uncle]’s jaw drops, and they sit there, stunned.
Bomoh: “Not enough? Okay. Duaaal wieeld!”
He says that last bit the same way he said, “Allah!” previously.
He pulls out another toy gun and fires it at [Uncle].
My colleague didn’t tell me what happens next, but when the exorcism is over…
Uncle: “Uh, maybe we should go to the hospital.”
Colleague: “You think?”
Once he finished his quarantine, my colleague returned to work and told me all about it.
Colleague: “Like, the man was hip. I didn’t think that bomohs were so advanced these days.”
Me: “He sounded like he was high on something.”
Colleague: “Oh, he probably was. But that was just silly, man.”
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