As Sick As A Parrot
FAMILY & KIDS, PETS & ANIMALS, WORDPLAY, ZOO | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 10, 2014
(My friend is a small-mammal handler at a zoo. Today, she’s taken a particularly docile ferret out to let visitors encounter it first-hand. A couple comes in with a young child. I’m standing in the background.)
Mother: “Ooh, look, the zoo lady’s got a baby raccoon!”
Father: “That’s some sort of weasel!”
Child: “Mom, I wanna see the octopus.”
Mother: “Let’s go see the nice lady with the raccoon.”
Father: “Weasel.”
(The mother gives the father a look and then approaches my friend.)
Mother: “‘Excuse me, miss, what kind of animal is that?”
Friend: “This is a ferret. Her name is [Name] and she’s very friendly. You can pet her if you take care to avoid—”
Father: “Parrot?! That’s a weasel!”
Friend: “It’s a ferret. They’re in the weasel family, like—”
Father: “You sure?”
Friend: “Yes, very sure. Ferrets are among—”
Father: “Let’s go see the octopus, [Child].”
(They leave in a hurry. Curious, I follow them outside.)
Father: “D*** thing must have been sick. Pretty irresponsible of them to expose us to a sick parrot.”
Child: “Ferret.”
Father: “We just saw the parrot. I thought you wanted to see the octopus.”
Child: “Daddy, is your hearing aid on?”
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