Not Quite What They Meant By “Immaculate Conception”
EMERGENCY ROOM, HEALTH & BODY, LGBTQ, MINNESOTA, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 26, 2020
I’ve been in the ER enough to know that there is no avoiding the “you’re a woman; you must be pregnant” song and dance, despite the multiple variables that stand in the way of me personally conceiving. I’ve started having fun with my answers.
Nurse: “Is there any chance you might be pregnant?”
Me: “Nope.”
Nurse: “Are you sure?”
Me: “Positive. Unless… babe, did your lack of penis knock me up again?”
Wife: “I’ve gotta stop doing that.”
On another occasion:
Nurse: “Is there any chance you might be pregnant?”
Me: “I’m on a few different birth controls, so I really hope not.”
Nurse: “What method of birth control do you use?”
Me: “An IUD and lesbianism. I really hope that second one still works.”
On one memorable occasion, the nurse replied, “Girl, me, too!”
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