His Application Was Like A Slap In The Face
OFFICE | WORKING | APRIL 27, 2017
(I am in the reception while our usual receptionist is on leave. There is a small window against the wall opposite the main entrance to the building, so we can see if anyone is coming in. Half of it is sliding glass which I have left open to create a breeze. I hear someone come into the building and look through the window. A man comes up and glares at me through the glass.)
Me: “Can I help you, sir?”
(He continues to glare. I assume he’s waiting for someone and get on my work, but when I notice he hasn’t moved and still glaring I turn my back to him. He then screams.)
Man: “ISN’T ANYONE GOING TO OPEN THE WINDOW AND F**KING TALK TO ME?!”
(I spin around, but before I can say anything a manager, whose office has full view of the entrance, speaks up.)
Manager: “Move over to the right, just a smidgen.”
(The man does as he is told and jumps back when he realises there isn’t glass there.)
Manager: “There you go! That wasn’t hard was it?”
(The man glares at the manager before telling me he is here for an interview. He also whispers that the manager is a b***h who should get slapped.)
Me: *sarcastically* “I’ll take that under advisement. Okay, Mr [Man], for a senior safety advisor position?”
(He nods.)
Me: *loudly* “If you’ll just wait, I’ll go and tell the ‘b***h’ you’re here, and I’ll give her a slap, too, just for good measure.”
(I see him blush as I leave the room, stand right next to him and shout.)
Me: “B***H, YOUR 12 O’CLOCK IS HERE! DO YOU WANT YOUR SLAP NOW OR LATER?”
(He goes into her office and you can feel the tension emanating from the room. About five minutes later he flies past the window mumbling thanks. The manager follows.)
Manager: *handing me his CV* “Could you shred this for me, please?”
Me: “No chance?”
Manager: “Well, you can’t expect a ‘b****’ to take on every man who suggests they need a good slapping. At least he attempted a half-a**ed apology, before suggesting he could take on my role when I decide to ‘pop one out.’”
(Some of us men just don’t know when to shut up.)
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