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Old 07-16-2022   #1841
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Wrap This Person In Bubble Wrap! Part 2
Bizarre, Health & Body, Home, Northern Ireland, UK | Healthy | February 6, 2021
CONTENT WARNING: Major Injury



All through my life, I have been accidentally injuring myself in spectacular ways. The fact that I have balance and coordination problems as a result of ASD and Dyspraxia doesn’t help. At school, the teachers knew me as “the girl who’s always getting hurt.” I have so many stories about me getting injured that it would be impossible to share them all here, but here’s one of the worse ones.

This was about two years ago when I was nineteen years old, on the night of my sister’s sixteenth birthday. My sister and I don’t get on, so my mother and I agreed that I could spend the evening in my room. I was happy enough, as I don’t really cope well with lots of people around, and anyway, none of my sister’s friends liked me.

I was sitting in my room playing a game on my computer, and I got up to use the bathroom. As I slid out from between my desk and my chair, my foot must have gotten caught in a cable, because I tripped. I fell and smacked face-first into a set of bookshelves, smashing my glasses. My hands, forearms, and knees hit the wooden floor with full force. My mother, hearing the loud crash, came rushing in to find me sprawled on the floor, blood pouring from my nose, unable to use my arms to push myself upright. She did her best to stop the bleeding from my nose and then decided that it would be prudent to take me to the hospital.

A couple of x-rays later and the extent of my injuries was shocking. I’d broken my nose in three places; the pain was so bad that I felt sick. I’d broken my left radius and ulna in six places and shattered my left thumb. I’d broken my right wrist in two places and three fingers on my right hand. After an overnight stay in hospital, I went for surgery the following morning and was kept in again overnight.

My mother came to pick me up from the hospital and, according to her, I “looked a real sight.” I had two black eyes and bruising on my cheeks, and my nose was in a cast. My left arm was casted from my fingers up past my elbow, and I had a cast on my thumb. My right arm had a cast covering my three broken fingers and running along my arm until just before my elbow. My knees were bruised, and although not broken, it was painful to bend them.

As I walked out of the hospital with my two arms in slings, it occurred to me that I wouldn’t be able to do much for myself for the next few weeks. Plus, I’ve been deaf and non-speaking since birth and I use sign language, so I knew I’d have to get by with nodding and shaking my head. I hated needing my mother to feed me, wash me, and dress me, but what could I do? I told myself that at least I could still walk…

And then two weeks later, I fell down the stairs, broke my leg, and ended up confined to bed anyway!
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Old 07-16-2022   #1842
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Wrap This Person In Bubble Wrap!
Australia, Bizarre, Fast Food, Health & Body | Healthy | January 21, 2021
CONTENT WARNING: Major Injury



I am accident-prone. I mean, REALLY accident-prone. I have broken most of the bones in my body at least once — some, in the case of my nose and fingers, multiple times. I have screws and plates all through my body. There’s nothing wrong with my bones, either, if you need further proof of what a disaster magnet I am.

In the highlights of my list of “big injuries”:

I was hit by a drunk driver and dragged two blocks when I was eight years old. It took me months to learn how to walk again. I fell down a set of stairs in high school and broke both my legs. I was ADJACENT to a car crash as a pedestrian and had all my ribs broken by a flying tyre. I was attacked by a pack of dogs when I was a toddler that somehow got past two locked six-foot gates. I was the only one injured when my first workplace burned down, despite being one of the first out the door. I was standing in the evacuation area with thirteen other people when the gas canister exploded, and guess who was the only person hit with glass and shrapnel? Me.

I am not exaggerating the disaster magnet thing. My husband is well versed in emergency rooms and surgery waiting areas.

I start working at a fast food place. My husband waits for the inevitable call that I have been horrifically burned by the fryer or somehow run over in the drive-thru.

One night, I’m working overnight. My husband is peacefully sleeping when he gets a call from my manager. He groggily answers the phone.

Husband: “Hello?”

Manager: “Hey, man. Um, [My Name] has just left here in an ambulance. She asked me to ask you to meet her at the hospital and bring her emergency bag?”

My husband gets out of bed and starts to grab my always packed emergency bag.

Husband: “Yep, on it, mate. Hey, what happened?”

Manager: “She, uh… She broke her hip.”

Husband: *Pause* “I gotta say, out of everything I expected, that wasn’t it.”

Yep. I had slipped on a puddle of grease and slid the exact wrong way with my leg twisted. It had dislocated, and then I landed on it full force and rolled. After surgery and rehab, I was okay, but my husband LOVES to tell people I broke my hip flipping burgers.
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Old 07-16-2022   #1843
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Taking “Sharing Is Caring” To Another Level
Awesome, Children, Hospital, Inspirational, Maryland, USA | Healthy | January 21, 2021
About a decade ago, I decided to donate my kidney as a non-directed donor, meaning I didn’t know the person who would get the kidney; the hospital picked him. Knowing that I volunteered with children and had a real soft spot for them, the hospital recommended a twenty-two-month-old child as the person to receive the kidney.

The surgery went fine and I got to meet the child for the first time a month after the surgery. I thought this would be the only time I would meet the child.

A number of years later, I get a surprise call from the pediatric department of the hospital where I donated. They are doing a reunion party where they get together kidney donors and kidney recipients, and they want to know if I would like to attend. Excited at the chance to meet the child again, I agree to attend.

When they finally arrive at the party, while their mother is busy signing in, the boy and his twin brother wander into the party and apparently recognize me. The one that I actually donated the kidney to is a bit shy at first about meeting me, not so much his brother.

Twin Brother: “Are you the one that gave my brother the kidney?”

Me: “Yes, I was.”

Without saying anything else, he runs up to me and gives me a gigantic hug.

Twin Brother: “Thank you!”

His brother seems a bit unsure how he is supposed to interact with his kidney donor at first, but I have enough experience with kids that I am able to get him to open up soon enough. Eventually, the brothers are excitedly dragging me around to face painting and all the other activities they have for the party.

Boy: “Where did you get the extra kidney from?”

Me: “Everyone is born with two kidneys, but we only really need one, so they took my left kidney out of me and put it in you, and I keep using my right kidney.”

Boy: “How did they get it out?”

Me: “They cut a hole in my belly button and then stuck a machine in through it which they used to cut my kidney out and pull it out through my belly button. Then they did the same thing to you to put the kidney into you.”

Brother: “Did it hurt?”

Me: “They put me asleep when they cut the kidney out, so I didn’t feel anything then. It did hurt a few days after, but it got much better after the third day. It was worth it to help.”

Kid: “Oh.”

The kid stands there, clearly thinking about that for a few more seconds.

Kid: “Thank you.”

By the end of the party, both twins were asking if I could come visit them again. Since I love kids anyway, I told them I’d be willing to, but I didn’t want to impose, so I told them I could only if their mother wanted to invite me. I heard the kids tell their mother that they wanted me to visit, but I never did get an invite to visit them from her. It’s been many years since then, but I hope, wherever they are, both kids are still as happy and healthy as they were the last time we met.
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Old 07-16-2022   #1844
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Order Matters Word!
Funny, Medical Office, USA, Wordplay | Healthy | January 22, 2021
Our electronic medical records program has a screen where we fill in details regarding prescriptions and it puts together the sig from that information. Sometimes the providers don’t pay attention to the output. Here’s an actual prescription I caught that had been sent several times before I did:

Prescription: “Take one tablet to make it easier to urinate orally, once a day.”

I’m sure the pharmacists got a laugh every few months when that came through!
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Old 07-16-2022   #1845
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Good Thing Bad Parenting Isn’t Contagious
Health & Body, Lazy/Unhelpful, Parents/Guardians, School, USA | Healthy | January 23, 2021
I work for a school for students with special needs. Most of the parents are great, but some are idiots.

I am working in a first-grade classroom. One of the teachers takes one of the kids to the bathroom while I am helping the other teacher hand out breakfast. We suddenly hear a small scream, and the teacher comes out, holding the kid under the armpits.

Teacher: “He’s got ringworm! Get him to the nurse, quick!”

I grab the kid and take him to the nurse’s office, which is a closed-off area of the main admin office. The nurse is just about to go on her medication rounds but quickly checks the student, confirming it is ringworm, and goes to call his mother. It’s a small office so I hear the whole conversation while I keep the kid entertained.

Nurse: “Hello, [Mother], we just discovered that your son has ringworm. Could you please come get him?”

Mother: “Yes, I know. I saw it this morning.”

Nurse: “Excuse me?!”

Mother: “I put a bandaid on it. Didn’t you see?”

Nurse: “Ma’am, you cannot cure ringworm with a bandaid. You need to pick up your son and bring him home. He cannot return to school until a doctor confirms that the ringworm is gone.”

Mother: “I’m at work.”

Nurse: “You still need to come pick him up and take him home. How soon can you be here?”

Mother: “I’m at work; I can’t get him. He has to stay there for today.”

Nurse: “No, you need to pick him up. He has a contagious fungal infection and cannot stay here!”

Mother: “I’m at work.” *Hangs up*

The nurse turns back to me in shock.

Nurse: “Can you believe this?!”

Me: “Yes, but good news: she doesn’t work. She brings [Student] a hot lunch every day, so she’ll be here in a few hours.”

The nurse just looks at me, incredulous, but then goes out to the secretary and talks to her before coming back in and filling me in on the plan. She then leaves for her rounds, leaving me to watch the student and keep him isolated.

After two hours, when it’s almost time for our class’s lunchtime, the student’s mother drives up. The nurse has just returned, and she and the secretary leap into action.

The secretary lets the mother in but then stands by the door to the outside. The nurse comes out of her office, leading the student. I stand by the door leading into the school, blocking anyone from getting in.

The nurse marches up to the mother, who is dressed in a T-shirt, yoga pants, and flip-flops — definitely NOT a working uniform — and holds the student out to her.

Nurse: “Your son has a fungal infection that is contagious via skin contact and he cannot return here until you have a doctor’s note stating that the infection is one-hundred percent cleared up. It will be at least a week. Make sure your doctor includes a phone number because I will be calling to check and be sure [Student] was cleared. You may go now.”

The mother silently took her son and exited via the door the secretary was holding open for her. The student did return fully healed, but she never tried to pull that trick again!

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Old 07-16-2022   #1846
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Inject A Little Patience For Your Patients
Florida, Instant Karma, Jerk, Medical Office, Nurses, USA | Healthy | January 24, 2021
I have an injectable maintenance medication which is administered every three months. Once I began nursing school and was signed off on injection administration, my doctor said it was stupid to have me come into the office to get this medication administered since I routinely did it for others as part of my clinicals. I was ordered to call in with the date, location given, and lot/expiration date. For three years, I did not have any issues doing this. That is, until the doctor hired a new nurse.

I call in.

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name], born [Date Of Birth]. I’m calling in with the information on my injection.”

Nurse: “What do you mean, ‘calling in with the information’?”

Me: “Oh, the doc allows me to self-administer at home and call the information in.”

The nurse goes BALLISTIC.

Nurse: “What the h*** do you mean self-administer?! You aren’t allowed to do that! You must come in to have a nurse give that! I’m going to report you to the doctor and he’s going to fire you as a patient.”

Me: “I’m a nurse. I literally work in the building next door to your office. [Doctor] thinks it’s stupid for me to come in for this. It wastes my time and your office’s time.”

Nurse: “Don’t you lie to me, girlie!”

She continued screaming at me.

At this, I’d had enough and told her I was hanging up. I went to work early the next day to go speak to the nurse manager for that office. I was informed that it wasn’t an issue any longer as the doctor had heard her screaming at me. He waited and then informed her that I was indeed a fellow nurse and he didn’t allow his nurses to treat patients or fellow colleagues like that.

A nurse I work with told me about watching security unceremoniously removing a nurse from the building next door the previous day.

It’s not often that instant Karma occurs, but when it does, it’s glorious.
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Old 07-16-2022   #1847
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Everyone Has Two Voice Settings: “Normal” And “Customer Service”
Medical Office, Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, Reception, Siblings, USA | Healthy | January 25, 2021
When I need to find a new primary care physician, my sister, who’s a medical assistant, strongly recommends one of the doctors she works for. I accept — and she turns out to be the greatest PCP I’ve ever had, but I digress.

I don’t know if this is the law or their office’s policy, but my sister explains to me from the beginning that she’s not allowed to have anything to do with my treatment; she can’t look at my chart, she can’t room me when I come in, she can’t talk to me on the phone, etc.

Okay, rules are rules. I almost never have to call the office anyway — you call the network’s central line to make appointments, not the office directly — but I figure if she ever answers, I’ll simply say, “It’s [My Name],” and wait for her to put someone else on the line.

There comes a day where I call the office with some questions for my doctor about a course of treatment I recently began. A female voice I don’t recognize at all answers.

Assistant: “Thank you for calling [Office]. We’re on a recorded line. How may I help you?”

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name]. I saw [Doctor] earlier this week and just had some questions for her about [treatment].”

Assistant: “[My Name], it’s [Sister].”

Me: *Stunned* “Oh! I’m sorry, I—”

Assistant: “Here, let me get [Coworker].”

Another employee took care of me. For the record, the health issue was neither embarrassing nor something I hadn’t already told my sister about in typical family conversation.

When we hung up, I texted my sister, “I’m so sorry! I know you can’t help me, and had I known, I would’ve waited for you to get someone else, but I swear, I had no idea that was you! Your voice sounded so much deeper and more mature.”

When she was free, she simply texted back, “Customer service voice.”

And now I know what voice to listen for!
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Old 07-16-2022   #1848
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The Uterus Knows All
Doctor/Physician, Ignoring & Inattentive, Jerk, Medical Office, USA, Utah | Healthy | January 27, 2021
When I was pregnant with my first child, I 100% knew that it was a girl, and she was, but had no idea with my second baby, who happened to be a boy. When I got pregnant with my third child, I was once again sure that it was a girl. We are living in a different city so this is my first experience with this particular doctor.

We go in to check for the baby’s sex.

Doctor: “Are we hoping for a girl or for a boy?”

Me: “I know this baby is a girl.”

Doctor: “Congratulation s! It’s a boy!”

Me: “Nope.”

Doctor: “Um, what?”

Me: “I know that this is a girl.”

Doctor: “Noooo… it’s a boy. You can see why right here.”

Me: “No. It’s for sure a girl.”

The doctor has clearly never been in this situation before.

Doctor: “Um, well, I guess that could be the umbilical cord but I’m 97% sure that it isn’t.”

Me: “I’m sorry to challenge you, but I seriously know that this baby is a girl.”

Doctor: *Grumbling* “I guess we can wait a few weeks and do another ultrasound. But it will be a waste of time, for you and me.”

Me: “Let’s do that.”

Two weeks later, we went back and did another ultrasound. It was a girl. We didn’t use him for delivery. I couldn’t use a doctor who wouldn’t at least entertain the possibility that I was right.
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Old 07-16-2022   #1849
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Nope, Still Terrifying
Bizarre, Dentist, Maryland, Patients, USA | Healthy | January 28, 2021
My wife has had some persistent issues with gum infections ever since having an extremely severe jaw injury. It was probably about as bad as a jaw could be injured. Despite this, she had relatively minor scarring, and many people do not immediately realize that she has major injuries just when looking at her.

The two of us go to the dentist together, each with our own appointments. I just have a basic cleaning, but my wife will be having a root canal done. The dentist, who we have been going to for years now, has a new assistant. She finishes with me fairly quickly, just in time to witness the dentist go straight from talking to drilling into my wife’s tooth, without the use of any anesthetic whatsoever.

She is immediately horrified. I think the dentist decides to mess with her a bit, as he just tells her:

Dentist: “[Wife] is pretty tough. She can handle it.”

My wife responded with a thumbs-up.

The dentist initially just went back to work, but relented after a few seconds and let the assistant know that my wife actually had no use for local anesthetic for this because she’s actually already completely numb. The root canal was in her lower jaw. The jaw has a nerve running through the bone on each side, and her injury had completely destroyed these nerves, leaving a complete lack of any sensation from her lower jaw including gums, lower lip, and part of her cheeks and chin.
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Old 07-16-2022   #1850
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His Frustration Level Is Rising…
Editors' Choice, Impossible Demands, Pharmacy, USA, Utah | Healthy | January 29, 2021
It’s a couple of days before New Year’s, and our pharmacy has a ton of requests to doctors from everyone trying to get their prescriptions refilled before the new year starts. My coworker is telling us about a phone call she’s just had with a patient.

Coworker #1 : “Oh, man, he was mad. He wanted a refill and the prescription is expired. We’ve already sent three or four requests to the doctor, but they haven’t responded yet. I don’t know what else he wanted me to do! I can’t make your doctor refill your [medication for erectile dysfunction]!”

Coworker #2 : “I guess his year isn’t going out with a bang!”
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Old 07-16-2022   #1851
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Third Nurse Is The Charm!
Ignoring & Inattentive, Illinois, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, Nurses, USA | Healthy | January 30, 2021
This story is pre-health crisis. One morning, I wake up with a sore throat. I assume I have the beginning of a cold and go on with my day. However, the sore throat does not go away. It gets worse over a twenty-four-hour period to the point where I can hardly swallow, and I develop a fever. I call my doctor’s office because in the past, this has indicated strep, and I make sure to tell the receptionist this. They tell me to come in right away.

I do so, and they take me into an exam room. I’m met by a nurse I’ve never seen before. This is normal, as there’s a nursing college nearby, and my doctor gets a lot of their recent grads.

Nurse #1 : “Okay, we’re gonna do some bloodwork to check you for mono.”

Me: “Mono?”

Nurse #1 : “You have all the symptoms.”

Me: “I have a history of strep. Isn’t [Doctor] gonna check my throat?”

Nurse #1 : “We’re checking for mono.”

The nurse preps me for bloodwork. I am used to needles, as I have a chronic illness that requires frequent labs. However, this is a disaster. She attempts to stick me and misses the vein. Then, she starts digging around UNDER THE SKIN with the needle to attempt to hit the vein. I whimper.

Nurse #1 : “Not used to bloodwork?”

Me: “Oh, I get plenty of bloodwork. Check my chart. I’m not used to someone digging under my skin with a needle. Ow! Can you stop?! I don’t think you’re gonna find the vein that way!”

She finally pulls it out and bandages it up.

Nurse #1 : “I guess that vein wasn’t big enough! Let me get [Nurse #2 ].”

[Nurse #2 ], whom I’ve also never seen before, walks in, and with no warning, attempts to stick me in the same arm. She also misses the vein. She pulls the needle out of my arm and jabs me again in the same spot, harder. I shriek.

Me: “Ouch! Seriously?!”

Nurse #2 : “Have you ever had blood drawn before, sweetie?”

I shoot her a look.

Me: “I have [chronic illness], so I have labs twice a year. Did any of you look at my chart?”

Nurse #2 : “Oh. Your veins are very stubborn. Have they had trouble getting blood from you before?”

Me: “No. Never. Is there someone else that can help me?”

They get a third nurse, who has done my labs several times.

Nurse #3 : “Oh, hey, [My Name]. How’s it going?”

Me: “Bad.”

Nurse #2 : “Her veins are stubborn. What should we do?”

[Nurse #3 ] examines my arm and rolls her eyes.

Nurse #3 : “You stuck her three times in one arm?! The answer is obvious. Use her other arm, and don’t stab her, either! I heard her scream down the hall!”

She leaves, grumbling under her breath. Thankfully, they take her advice. [Nurse #1 ] and [Nurse #2 ] then decide to test me for the flu which, as many of us know, is a very long swab up the nose. And they JAM it up my nose. So, now my nose, arm, and throat are throbbing.

Me: “Hey, um, is [Doctor] gonna look at my throat at all?”

Nurse #1 : “He wants to start with this. Test results should be in tomorrow. You can go home now.”

I go home. The next day, I feel worse. The doctor’s office calls and says that both tests were negative.

Me: “Okay, but I’m still sick. Can I come back for a strep test?”

Nurse #2 : “[Doctor] says that if you’re still sick after ten days, call us. Then he’ll talk about an antibiotic.”

Me: “But I can barely swallow.”

Nurse #2 : “He said ten days.”

I live off soft foods, warm liquids, cough drops, and Aleve until day six when I can’t take it anymore. I can swallow a bit more, but I still have a high fever and my throat still hurts. I’ve also developed joint pain. I call the doctor back in tears. I finally get [Nurse #3 ], who apologizes and says she will speak with the doctor. She calls back a couple of hours later.

Nurse #3 : “Okay, [My Name], [Doctor] has recommended an antibiotic. I called it in and put a rush on it. I know you’re feeling pretty miserable and you’ve been waiting a long time. I’m so sorry about that. I’m not sure why they made you wait.”

Me: “Thank you!”

I felt A LOT better within a couple of days of starting the antibiotic.
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Old 07-16-2022   #1852
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You’d Butter Forget Those Old Wives’ Tales
Advice, Doctor/Physician, Friends, Home, Illinois, Stupid, USA | Healthy | January 31, 2021
One Christmas Eve, when I was eleven, I decided to make myself some tea. I put a pan of water on the stove and tried to turn on the burner on our gas stove. The burner wasn’t igniting and so I moved the pan and bent over to check if the pilot went out. Just as I bent over, the burner flared to life and caught my hair and my ear on fire.

I panicked and ran screaming into our front room where my mom was visiting with a friend. My mom stood up and literally smacked the fire out with her hand.

Mom’s Friend: “Put butter on it!”

My mom ignored her and got a wet, cool washcloth for me to put on it.

Mom’s Friend: “[Mom], you should put butter on it.”

After about a minute, my mom took a look at my ear and made the decision to take me to the hospital.

Mom’s Friend: “She doesn’t need a hospital, just butter.”

No butter was used and we went to the hospital. I was seen fairly quickly and it turned out that I had second- and third-degree burns on my ear. Normally, they would want to admit someone with the burns I had, just to be safe, but since it was a holiday and I was a kid, they let me go home with some special burn cream and painkillers.

Before we left, my mom mentioned to the doctor how her friend kept telling her to put butter on the burn. He was aghast. He wrote a note on the paper they used for sick notes for my mom’s friend detailing why not to put butter on a burn. I was kind of out of it when I got home, so I don’t know if my mom ever gave her friend that note, but I don’t remember her ever saying to put butter on a burn again.
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Old 07-16-2022   #1853
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A Stroke Of Brilliance
Date, England, Hospital, London, Stupid, UK | Healthy | February 2, 2021
After a transient event, I end up being investigated for stroke. I receive a letter from the neurology department about my next appointment.

Letter: “Unfortunately, we have had to change your outpatient clinic appointment. It was previously scheduled for 16 May at 15:00. We are very sorry we had to do this. Your new appointment is: Date: 16 May, Time: 15:00.”

And they are investigating ME for a stroke?

Seriously, it’s a good thing I hadn’t had one. I don’t know how someone struggling with a cognitive deficit might deal with this.

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Old 07-16-2022   #1854
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By The Pricking Of My Thumbs, Something Hilarious This Way Comes
England, Funny, Hospital, London, Rude & Risque, UK, Wordplay | Healthy | February 4, 2021
Back in the 1960s, when I am a young man of seventeen going on eighteen, I work in the medical laboratory of the local teaching hospital. One of my regular jobs is to go round the wards collecting blood samples for pre-op testing.

I am in the day-room of the gynaecological ward collecting blood from twenty to thirty ladies. One of the younger ones is very obviously extremely nervous. One of the older ladies speaks up.

Older Lady: “Don’t worry about him, love; it’s only a little prick.”

I blushed the colour of a beetroot and suddenly everyone, except me, was much more relaxed.
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Old 07-16-2022   #1855
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Wrap This Person In Bubble Wrap! Part 2
Bizarre, Health & Body, Home, Northern Ireland, UK | Healthy | February 6, 2021
CONTENT WARNING: Major Injury



All through my life, I have been accidentally injuring myself in spectacular ways. The fact that I have balance and coordination problems as a result of ASD and Dyspraxia doesn’t help. At school, the teachers knew me as “the girl who’s always getting hurt.” I have so many stories about me getting injured that it would be impossible to share them all here, but here’s one of the worse ones.

This was about two years ago when I was nineteen years old, on the night of my sister’s sixteenth birthday. My sister and I don’t get on, so my mother and I agreed that I could spend the evening in my room. I was happy enough, as I don’t really cope well with lots of people around, and anyway, none of my sister’s friends liked me.

I was sitting in my room playing a game on my computer, and I got up to use the bathroom. As I slid out from between my desk and my chair, my foot must have gotten caught in a cable, because I tripped. I fell and smacked face-first into a set of bookshelves, smashing my glasses. My hands, forearms, and knees hit the wooden floor with full force. My mother, hearing the loud crash, came rushing in to find me sprawled on the floor, blood pouring from my nose, unable to use my arms to push myself upright. She did her best to stop the bleeding from my nose and then decided that it would be prudent to take me to the hospital.

A couple of x-rays later and the extent of my injuries was shocking. I’d broken my nose in three places; the pain was so bad that I felt sick. I’d broken my left radius and ulna in six places and shattered my left thumb. I’d broken my right wrist in two places and three fingers on my right hand. After an overnight stay in hospital, I went for surgery the following morning and was kept in again overnight.

My mother came to pick me up from the hospital and, according to her, I “looked a real sight.” I had two black eyes and bruising on my cheeks, and my nose was in a cast. My left arm was casted from my fingers up past my elbow, and I had a cast on my thumb. My right arm had a cast covering my three broken fingers and running along my arm until just before my elbow. My knees were bruised, and although not broken, it was painful to bend them.

As I walked out of the hospital with my two arms in slings, it occurred to me that I wouldn’t be able to do much for myself for the next few weeks. Plus, I’ve been deaf and non-speaking since birth and I use sign language, so I knew I’d have to get by with nodding and shaking my head. I hated needing my mother to feed me, wash me, and dress me, but what could I do? I told myself that at least I could still walk…

And then two weeks later, I fell down the stairs, broke my leg, and ended up confined to bed anyway!
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Old 07-16-2022   #1856
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Wrap This Person In Bubble Wrap!
Australia, Bizarre, Fast Food, Health & Body | Healthy | January 21, 2021
CONTENT WARNING: Major Injury



I am accident-prone. I mean, REALLY accident-prone. I have broken most of the bones in my body at least once — some, in the case of my nose and fingers, multiple times. I have screws and plates all through my body. There’s nothing wrong with my bones, either, if you need further proof of what a disaster magnet I am.

In the highlights of my list of “big injuries”:

I was hit by a drunk driver and dragged two blocks when I was eight years old. It took me months to learn how to walk again. I fell down a set of stairs in high school and broke both my legs. I was ADJACENT to a car crash as a pedestrian and had all my ribs broken by a flying tyre. I was attacked by a pack of dogs when I was a toddler that somehow got past two locked six-foot gates. I was the only one injured when my first workplace burned down, despite being one of the first out the door. I was standing in the evacuation area with thirteen other people when the gas canister exploded, and guess who was the only person hit with glass and shrapnel? Me.

I am not exaggerating the disaster magnet thing. My husband is well versed in emergency rooms and surgery waiting areas.

I start working at a fast food place. My husband waits for the inevitable call that I have been horrifically burned by the fryer or somehow run over in the drive-thru.

One night, I’m working overnight. My husband is peacefully sleeping when he gets a call from my manager. He groggily answers the phone.

Husband: “Hello?”

Manager: “Hey, man. Um, [My Name] has just left here in an ambulance. She asked me to ask you to meet her at the hospital and bring her emergency bag?”

My husband gets out of bed and starts to grab my always packed emergency bag.

Husband: “Yep, on it, mate. Hey, what happened?”

Manager: “She, uh… She broke her hip.”

Husband: *Pause* “I gotta say, out of everything I expected, that wasn’t it.”

Yep. I had slipped on a puddle of grease and slid the exact wrong way with my leg twisted. It had dislocated, and then I landed on it full force and rolled. After surgery and rehab, I was okay, but my husband LOVES to tell people I broke my hip flipping burgers.
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Old 07-16-2022   #1857
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Taking “Sharing Is Caring” To Another Level
Awesome, Children, Hospital, Inspirational, Maryland, USA | Healthy | January 21, 2021
About a decade ago, I decided to donate my kidney as a non-directed donor, meaning I didn’t know the person who would get the kidney; the hospital picked him. Knowing that I volunteered with children and had a real soft spot for them, the hospital recommended a twenty-two-month-old child as the person to receive the kidney.

The surgery went fine and I got to meet the child for the first time a month after the surgery. I thought this would be the only time I would meet the child.

A number of years later, I get a surprise call from the pediatric department of the hospital where I donated. They are doing a reunion party where they get together kidney donors and kidney recipients, and they want to know if I would like to attend. Excited at the chance to meet the child again, I agree to attend.

When they finally arrive at the party, while their mother is busy signing in, the boy and his twin brother wander into the party and apparently recognize me. The one that I actually donated the kidney to is a bit shy at first about meeting me, not so much his brother.

Twin Brother: “Are you the one that gave my brother the kidney?”

Me: “Yes, I was.”

Without saying anything else, he runs up to me and gives me a gigantic hug.

Twin Brother: “Thank you!”

His brother seems a bit unsure how he is supposed to interact with his kidney donor at first, but I have enough experience with kids that I am able to get him to open up soon enough. Eventually, the brothers are excitedly dragging me around to face painting and all the other activities they have for the party.

Boy: “Where did you get the extra kidney from?”

Me: “Everyone is born with two kidneys, but we only really need one, so they took my left kidney out of me and put it in you, and I keep using my right kidney.”

Boy: “How did they get it out?”

Me: “They cut a hole in my belly button and then stuck a machine in through it which they used to cut my kidney out and pull it out through my belly button. Then they did the same thing to you to put the kidney into you.”

Brother: “Did it hurt?”

Me: “They put me asleep when they cut the kidney out, so I didn’t feel anything then. It did hurt a few days after, but it got much better after the third day. It was worth it to help.”

Kid: “Oh.”

The kid stands there, clearly thinking about that for a few more seconds.

Kid: “Thank you.”

By the end of the party, both twins were asking if I could come visit them again. Since I love kids anyway, I told them I’d be willing to, but I didn’t want to impose, so I told them I could only if their mother wanted to invite me. I heard the kids tell their mother that they wanted me to visit, but I never did get an invite to visit them from her. It’s been many years since then, but I hope, wherever they are, both kids are still as happy and healthy as they were the last time we met.
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Old 07-16-2022   #1858
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Order Matters Word!
Funny, Medical Office, USA, Wordplay | Healthy | January 22, 2021
Our electronic medical records program has a screen where we fill in details regarding prescriptions and it puts together the sig from that information. Sometimes the providers don’t pay attention to the output. Here’s an actual prescription I caught that had been sent several times before I did:

Prescription: “Take one tablet to make it easier to urinate orally, once a day.”

I’m sure the pharmacists got a laugh every few months when that came through!
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Old 07-16-2022   #1859
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Good Thing Bad Parenting Isn’t Contagious
Health & Body, Lazy/Unhelpful, Parents/Guardians, School, USA | Healthy | January 23, 2021
I work for a school for students with special needs. Most of the parents are great, but some are idiots.

I am working in a first-grade classroom. One of the teachers takes one of the kids to the bathroom while I am helping the other teacher hand out breakfast. We suddenly hear a small scream, and the teacher comes out, holding the kid under the armpits.

Teacher: “He’s got ringworm! Get him to the nurse, quick!”

I grab the kid and take him to the nurse’s office, which is a closed-off area of the main admin office. The nurse is just about to go on her medication rounds but quickly checks the student, confirming it is ringworm, and goes to call his mother. It’s a small office so I hear the whole conversation while I keep the kid entertained.

Nurse: “Hello, [Mother], we just discovered that your son has ringworm. Could you please come get him?”

Mother: “Yes, I know. I saw it this morning.”

Nurse: “Excuse me?!”

Mother: “I put a bandaid on it. Didn’t you see?”

Nurse: “Ma’am, you cannot cure ringworm with a bandaid. You need to pick up your son and bring him home. He cannot return to school until a doctor confirms that the ringworm is gone.”

Mother: “I’m at work.”

Nurse: “You still need to come pick him up and take him home. How soon can you be here?”

Mother: “I’m at work; I can’t get him. He has to stay there for today.”

Nurse: “No, you need to pick him up. He has a contagious fungal infection and cannot stay here!”

Mother: “I’m at work.” *Hangs up*

The nurse turns back to me in shock.

Nurse: “Can you believe this?!”

Me: “Yes, but good news: she doesn’t work. She brings [Student] a hot lunch every day, so she’ll be here in a few hours.”

The nurse just looks at me, incredulous, but then goes out to the secretary and talks to her before coming back in and filling me in on the plan. She then leaves for her rounds, leaving me to watch the student and keep him isolated.

After two hours, when it’s almost time for our class’s lunchtime, the student’s mother drives up. The nurse has just returned, and she and the secretary leap into action.

The secretary lets the mother in but then stands by the door to the outside. The nurse comes out of her office, leading the student. I stand by the door leading into the school, blocking anyone from getting in.

The nurse marches up to the mother, who is dressed in a T-shirt, yoga pants, and flip-flops — definitely NOT a working uniform — and holds the student out to her.

Nurse: “Your son has a fungal infection that is contagious via skin contact and he cannot return here until you have a doctor’s note stating that the infection is one-hundred percent cleared up. It will be at least a week. Make sure your doctor includes a phone number because I will be calling to check and be sure [Student] was cleared. You may go now.”

The mother silently took her son and exited via the door the secretary was holding open for her. The student did return fully healed, but she never tried to pull that trick again!

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Old 07-16-2022   #1860
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Inject A Little Patience For Your Patients
Florida, Instant Karma, Jerk, Medical Office, Nurses, USA | Healthy | January 24, 2021
I have an injectable maintenance medication which is administered every three months. Once I began nursing school and was signed off on injection administration, my doctor said it was stupid to have me come into the office to get this medication administered since I routinely did it for others as part of my clinicals. I was ordered to call in with the date, location given, and lot/expiration date. For three years, I did not have any issues doing this. That is, until the doctor hired a new nurse.

I call in.

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name], born [Date Of Birth]. I’m calling in with the information on my injection.”

Nurse: “What do you mean, ‘calling in with the information’?”

Me: “Oh, the doc allows me to self-administer at home and call the information in.”

The nurse goes BALLISTIC.

Nurse: “What the h*** do you mean self-administer?! You aren’t allowed to do that! You must come in to have a nurse give that! I’m going to report you to the doctor and he’s going to fire you as a patient.”

Me: “I’m a nurse. I literally work in the building next door to your office. [Doctor] thinks it’s stupid for me to come in for this. It wastes my time and your office’s time.”

Nurse: “Don’t you lie to me, girlie!”

She continued screaming at me.

At this, I’d had enough and told her I was hanging up. I went to work early the next day to go speak to the nurse manager for that office. I was informed that it wasn’t an issue any longer as the doctor had heard her screaming at me. He waited and then informed her that I was indeed a fellow nurse and he didn’t allow his nurses to treat patients or fellow colleagues like that.

A nurse I work with told me about watching security unceremoniously removing a nurse from the building next door the previous day.

It’s not often that instant Karma occurs, but when it does, it’s glorious.
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