Have A Heart, Use Your Brain

Getting Stupider By The Generation
OHIO, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, PHARMACY, RETAIL, USA | RELATED | AUGUST 9, 2017
(I’m pregnant and recently started showing, which has lead to many comments from customers. Also, the pregnancy has lead me to make lots of silly mistakes which I largely blame on pregnancy brain.)

Me: “Sorry about that. My daughter stole my brain cells and she won’t give them back.”

Customer: “I’m sure she’ll give them back eventually. I feel like I’ve just started to get back some brain power from my daughter.”

Me: “Oh? How old is she?”

Customer: “14.”

Me: “…”

Get A Load Of This!
PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 3, 2017
(I am a customer in this story, and was in the process of picking up a few prescriptions. I grabbed a small, much-needed item as well to be wrung up.)

Me: *places item on the counter* “Is it all right if I add this to the purchase? If it’s too much trouble I can take it to the front registers.”

Pharmacist: “Nah. This is one tiny item that can fit into the prescription bag. You wouldn’t believe how much people try to pack their cart at pick-up to avoid the line. We don’t have the bags or the means to properly checkout full loads back here.”

(As if on cue, a woman with a full shopping cart and a hand-basket moves in line behind me, hitting my leg in the process.)

Customer: “Hurry up! I don’t have all day.”

Me: “Sadly, I think I do.”

No ID, No Idea, Part 28
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 5, 2017
(In response to one of our competitors ceasing to sell cigarettes, our chain has adopted a policy of requiring ID for any sales of cigarettes or paraphernalia, no matter how old someone looks. This goes for everything down to tobacco pipe cleaners, which is what a customer is trying to buy.)

Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”

Customer: “You’re kidding, right? I’m 35. You don’t need to see my ID if I look like I’m over 27.”

Me: “No, it’s a new pol—”

Customer: “This is ridiculous.” *she starts telling me her birthday to enter manually*

Me: “I can’t type in—”

Customer: “What do you need, my driver’s license number?!”

Me: “I can’t sell anything having to do with smoking unless I can see photo ID—”

Customer: “What, you want me to go back home and get my driver’s license?! This is f****** ridiculous. I want to talk to your manager. I’ve been driving around all f****** day looking for these f****** cleaners. I’ve been at two f****** shops in just this f****** plaza already!”

(She continues ranting as I go get my manager and tell him the issue. At no point does she stop being audible.)

Manager: “Ma’am, we can’t sell you those unless you have photo ID.”

Customer: “Are you kidding?! I’m thirty-f******-five. You don’t need to see my f****** ID if I look like I’m over twenty-seven. It’s the law!”

Manager: “It’s a new policy, ever since [Competitor] stopped selling cigarettes.”

(I hand her a small flyer about the new policy, an exact copy of the sign that is on our door and at various places around the store.)

Customer: “Then I don’t want any of these.”

(She continues ranting as she walks toward the door.)

Customer: “I drive around for two f****** hours, just going all over god’s f****** creation just to find these f******—”

Me: “Have a great evening!”

Customer: “F*** you!”

Not Sure If They Need Less Medication Or More
HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 21, 2017
Me: “Good evening, and thank you for calling [Big Name Pharmacy]. How can I help you?

Customer: “I need to identify a pill.”

Me: “Absolutely. Can you give me a description?”

Customer: “It’s a yellow, round pill with an ‘A’ on it. It’s pretty dirty, though.”

Me: “Oh, I really wouldn’t take any medication that appears damaged or contaminated.”

Customer: “No, it’s okay. I found it on the ground outside.”

Me: *professionalism waning* “Uh… what? You found it where?”

Customer: “I found it on the… the street just now, and I want to make sure it’s okay to take.”

Me: *professionalism out the window* “Do you usually eat random s*** off the street?!”

Customer: *hangs up*

Raising A Monster Versus Monster Parenting
BAD BEHAVIOR, CHILDREN, PHARMACY, USA, WILD & UNRULY | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 21, 2017
(Around the holidays, the tension is really high for people to get their prescriptions on time before going on vacation, so the pharmacy area is packed with close to forty people. I overhear this exchange as I’m ringing up a customer with an especially rude son.)

Me: “That will be $4.50, please.”

Customer: *digs in her purse for her wallet*

Customer’s Son: “Geez, stupid b****. Can’t you hurry up!? I want to go home, now!”

(A lady a few people back snaps her head towards him with a face that is the essence of “Oh, HELL no!”)

Customer’s Son: “God, Mom. Every time we go somewhere, it takes you for-f***ing-ever!”

(The lady a few people back is now breathing very loudly through her nose.)

Customer: “Sweetie, if you wait a minute, we can go get you a burger.”

Customer’s Son: “You bet like hell you are.” *points finger in her face* “You owe me big, woman. I could have been home hours ago out of this s*** heap with you. I’m bored out of my f***ing skull.”

(The lady a few people back is now looking anywhere but at the teenager, shaking her head violently, tapping the side of her purse, and muttering, “Mm-mm, mm-mmmm,” to herself.)

Customer: “Okay, look, honey. We’re done.”

Customer’s Son: “ABOUT D*** TIME, B****!”

(The customer and her son just pass around the corner, when the lady a few people back suddenly swings around, grabs both her teenage sons with one hand, and starts hitting them both with her purse.)

Lady: “DON’T.” *smack* “YOU.” *smack* “EVER.” *smack* “TALK.” *smack* “TO.” *smack* “ME.” *smack* “LIKE.” *smack* “THAT!” *smack*

(Some people are staring open-mouthed, others are cheering her on, but I am face-down on the counter, laughing hysterically. When it is the lady’s turn, I am still choking down tears.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am. How can I help you?”

Lady: “You’re laughing, but I’ll do the same to you if I ever hear you talking like that.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. You’re a great woman.”

Lady: “That’s because I was taught how to respect my parents.”

(Faith in humanity restored. Thank you, purse lady!)

Won’t “Let It Go” To Delivery
MOVIES & TV, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 14, 2017
(I work as a pharmacy technician and, as part of verifying a patient’s identity, I ask them to verify the address we have on file. A man with three rows of skulls tattooed on his forearm is picking up for someone else.)

Me: “Can you verify the address?”

Customer: “[Street number], uh, gosh, it’s the snowman from that Frozen movie!”

(The street was Olaf. I laughed and sold him the prescription.)

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Unfiltered Story #93136
PHARMACY | UNFILTERED | SEPTEMBER 8, 2017
Unfortunately, the postcode of where I live doesn’t always show up correctly with all the auto-address fill-in databases in common use. I live on a small private road (let’s call it Minor Avenue) just off a main road (let’s call it Main Road). My address is 6 Minor Avenue, Main Road, Coventry, Postcode. Some databases have it as 6 Main Road, Coventry, which does not exist. Where there should be a building is actually an open plot of land sometimes used as a temporary car park.

When I give my details over the phone, I always double check the person filling in the details has the correct information.

A few months ago, I wasn’t very well, and could foresee me needing a lot of medicine. As such, it was necessary to buy myself a pre-payment prescription card, which I did at the pharmacy. It was them that contacted the company that issues the cards, rather than me, by using their website.

Two weeks later, and I still hadn’t received my card through the post, so I rang up the prepayment people. My card had been dispatched, and when the person I was talking to double checked the details, he saw the problem and burst out laughing.

Him: I see the problem – your card has been sent to the address 6 Coventry. That was all they put!

Unfiltered Story #91985
PHARMACY, WISCONSIN | UNFILTERED | AUGUST 29, 2017
This woman pulls up to the drive through pharmacy and says there is a prescription ready for her. I look up her name and when I find nothing, I then verify her address and date of birth to see if it has been filled at a different location. There is nothing.
Me: “Sorry ma’am, I do not currently see anything ready for you. What were you expecting?”
Woman: “Well, I got a text message saying that I have something ready.”
Me: “I understand that ma’am, however as I don’t see anything in the system it may have been sent in error. We do not have control over the automated system unfortunately so this happens every now and then.”
Woman: “Well I got a text message so I have a prescription here!”
Me: “Ma’am, I currently do not see anything that is ready at any location.”
Woman: (snarling) “Then WHY would I get a text message?! It HAS to mean I have something ready. I’ll even show you!”
Me: “Alright, I’ll gladly take a look at the message for you.”
She thrusts her phone into the drawer we use to hand out prescriptions through the drive-through and looks smug as I pull it back in to look.
Me: “Ma’am, it reads “Prescription due for refill. Reply “REFILL” to submit request.” I do not see your reply.”
Her demeanor changes all of a sudden like she wasn’t just snapping at me. I return her phone.
Woman: “Oh, well, it must happen all the time! (*laughs*) Can I get a refill?”
She didn’t have any refills left on her prescription anyway.

Unfiltered Story #97694
NEW YORK, PHARMACY, RETAIL, USA | UNFILTERED | OCTOBER 11, 2017
(Certain Allergy medicines have to be purchased back in the pharmacy due to New York State law. You can get a script for them, but most people just buy it over the counter. At this time, Allegra-D 24 hr is completely unavailable.)

Customer: “I need to get Allegra-D 24-hour for my daughter.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but it’s currently unavailable right now. All we have is the 12 hour.”

Customer: “Really? You don’t have any?”

Cashier: “Yes. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “What is my daughter going to do? She needs it!”

(The Cashier shrugs sympathetically. The customer starts to walk away, but turns around.)

Customer: “If I call her doctor and get a script for it, will you have the Allegra-D ready for her then?”

Cashier: “No. It’s unavailable.”

Unfiltered Story #97624
CALIFORNIA, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | OCTOBER 10, 2017
(I am around eight months pregnant, well into my last trimester and am dealing with a bad cold. Needless to say, I am miserable. I go to my doctor and she prescribes me pseudo-ephedrine. I go downstairs with my husband to the pharmacy. I give my prescription to the pharmacist.)
Pharmacist: “I can’t give this to you.”

Me: “Why?”

Pharmacist: “Because you are pregnant.”

Me: “But the doctor prescribed it to me. I am sick and can’t get any relief from [popular brand].”

Pharmacist: “I am sorry but I can’t give you something that might cause you to miscarry.”

(My husband at this point is getting fed up and goes upstairs to talk with the doctor. I continue to argue with the pharmacist who keeps on insisting the doctor didn’t give me the right prescription. He pulls down this War and Peace book of pharmaceuticals. He flips to the section showing the medication we have been arguing about.)

Pharmacist: “See, read right here.”

(He helps another customer while I read the section. When he gets finished, I flag him over.)

Me: “It says right here that it is dangerous for woman who are in the first trimester, not their third which I am in. Please, can I have my medication?”

(He reads the book and agrees with me.)

Pharmacist: “Sorry about that, I didn’t read this section. I’ll call you up when it is ready.”

Me: “Thank you.”
(I go and sit down to wait for it and my husband who has yet to come back from talking with the doctor. He finally hands me my prescription and I sit down to wait for my husband. My son is seven now but I still remember that pharmacist who had good intentions but didn’t take into account that his timing was way off and that the doctor approved prescription.

Unfiltered Story #96667
PHARMACY, TEXAS, USA | UNFILTERED | OCTOBER 6, 2017
A woman approaches the counter and asks for a consultation from the pharmacist. The patient inquires about vitamins, and the pharmacist counsels her for about 15 minutes, and ensures there are no interactions with her medications. She proceeds to shop more, then asks to check out with me. She proceeds to throw her items on the counter, and drops a 12 can coke pack on my left hand. I say nothing, since no damage was done. I finish the transaction and notice she has 2 other packs on the bottom of her cart out of my sight until she started to retreat. I call after her and she proceed to say “Seriously, you didn’t ring these up?”
Me: “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t know those were in the bottom of your cart. I can ring them through really quick, one moment.”
Her: “This is ridiculous, I’d assume you’d knew I’d have three since they’re on sale.”
Me: “I didn’t know they were on sale. It isn’t a good idea to charge you for items I don’t know you are purchasing. Your total for the 2 packs is (amount).”
The woman scoffs and says: “What? You mean I OWE you money?!”
Me: “Yes ma’am, if you want the additional two packs, you have to pay for them.”
She mutters under her breath and reluctantly puts in her chip card. I bid her a good day and she goes on her way. I heard from the manager that she caused a scene up front claiming that I overcharged her (I didn’t) and that the pharmacist didn’t help her in any way with vitamins. She also claimed that we refused to write her a rain check which she didn’t ask for.

A Clear Stamp Of Admitting Their Mistake
AUSTRALIA, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NORTHERN TERRITORIES, PHARMACY, STUPID | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 29, 2017
(I work in a small pharmacy that is located about three shops away from a post office. Despite being small, it has obvious advertising.)

Customer: *walks straight up to the counter* “Hi. I can’t find your stamps.”

Me: “Uh, sorry, ma’am; we don’t sell stamps here.”

Customer: *immediately becomes frustrated* “What kind of post office doesn’t sell stamps!?”

Me: *indicates to medications surrounding the entire counter* “This is a pharmacy. The post office is just down the hall.”

Customer: “SO?!”

(She then stormed out the door as though we had offended her.)

Just Slide Right Past Your Instructions
CALIFORNIA, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, MONEY, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 25, 2017
(I work at a pharmacy where patients are asked to give their signature for insurance purposes, indicating that they have picked up their prescriptions, before they make their payment. Here is the basic conversation, all day, every day, at the pick-up counter.)

Cashier: “Before you swipe your card, can you please press ‘next’ on the screen and sign that you are picking up your medications?”

Customer: “Okay!” *swipes card anyway, then presses ‘next’ and signs*

Cashier: *annoyed* “Okay, you can slide your card now.”

Customer: *angry* “I already slid my card!”

Cashier: *rolls eyes* “Yes, but as I was saying, you need to press ‘next’ and sign first, and then slide your card. If you slide before signing, the terminal will not read your card.”

Customer: “Oh, okay! Well, I hope I don’t get charged twice!”

Cashier: *even more annoyed* “You won’t; trust me.”

(Customer slides card.)

Cashier: “Okay, now I need your signature for the purchase.”

Customer: “But I already signed!”

Cashier: *deep sigh*

Suddenly Anti-Antibiotic
CANADA, MONTREAL, PHARMACY, QUEBEC | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 26, 2017
Customer: “Hi, I’d like to fill this prescription, please.”

Me: “Very well, I’ll need your birthdate.”

Customer: “[Birthdate]. Hurry up, please.”

Me: “Any known allergies?”

Customer: “What? No! Look, it’s not my first time taking these pills. Just give it to me.”

Me: *taken aback* “Okay, sir, you may go in the waiting room.”

(A few minutes later the pharmacist explains the treatment to the customer.)

Pharmacist: “So, those pills are penicillin combined with another antibiotic—”

Customer: “Penicillin? What? I can’t take this! I’m deathly allergic to penicillin!”

1 Part Bleach To 100 Parts Stupidity, Part 2
PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, PITTSBURGH, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 25, 2017
(I am a pharmacy technician, not qualified to recommend drugs or dispense advice. Any questions about actual medicine, I am required to pass off to a pharmacist, even if I think I know the answer.)

Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Customer: *mumbling* “Um, I think I—” *mumbles* “—contact with bleach…”

Me: “I’m sorry, what? Could you repeat that?”

Customer: “I think I might have swallowed some bleach and was wondering if the pharmacist could recommend anything.”

Me: *trying not to look alarmed* “Well, if I were you, I would call the Poison Control Center, but I’ll check with the pharmacist.”

(I go back to the counter where the pharmacist is working.)

Me: “This guy says he might have ingested bleach and wants to know if you can recommend anything. I told him he should call the Poison Control Center.”

Pharmacist: “Yeah, that’s about it.”

(I go up to the front counter and repeat this advice to the customer.)

Customer: “Well, I drank some fluids and I’m feeling better now. I had some [soda], and some water, and some lemonade. My chest was hurting before but now it’s better. Do you know if bleach can make your chest hurt?”

Me: “Um… probably. If you swallowed bleach, it could hurt on the way down. You should probably call the Poison Control Center.”

Customer: “Eh, maybe I’ll call them tomorrow. If I’m not feeling better then, I can go to the emergency room, too.”

Me: “I would call them tonight if I were you, just to be safe. Do you want their number?”

(I write it down on the nearest piece of paper and hand it to him.)

Customer: “Yeah, thanks. I might call them tomorrow.”

(He wanders away, but comes back later. My coworker is an intern, studying to become a pharmacist, and gets to the counter first. I overhear their conversation.)

Customer: “I was wondering about water pills. What do they do?”

Coworker: “Um, they make you urinate.”

Customer: “Can I get some of those?”

Coworker: *realizing why he’s asking* “They don’t flush out your system; they’re used to lower blood pressure. And you would need a prescription.”

Customer: “Can I get one of those?”

Coworker: *bewildered* “We don’t give prescriptions here; we just fill them. You would need to go to a doctor.”

(The customer wanders away, apparently still confused about a lot of things.)

Me: “I hope he’s going to be okay.”

Pharmacist: “If he had really swallowed bleach, his throat would be burned. I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but there’s nothing else we can do.”

Related:
1 Part Bleach To 100 Parts Stupidity

Unfiltered Story #98659
PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | OCTOBER 23, 2017
I work as a cashier in a somewhat conservative town. I often dye my hair, sometimes even brighter colors like blue and green and there are no rules against it at my job. As always when working retail, people will find anything they can to be mean about and I get picked on a lot because I dye my hair. I don’t have any noticeable tattoos or wild piercings but I do enjoy having the freedom to dye my hair different colors. One day was particularly brutal and after kindly explaining to customers that my hair choice wasn’t permanent and that there are no company regulations against it, a man came up to purchase an item with a young boy and immediately start to harass me about my hair. “HAHAHA, is it Halloween!” he said to me (it was definitely March and he knew it wasn’t anywhere near Halloween.) After already having a hard day, I was at the end of my rope and explained to him about there being no company policy against it and told him that bullying people for their looks while having a young child with them was a very bad precedent and that he should be ashamed of himself for being so rude. He turned red and stammered and got out of the store as fast as he could.

Spare A Nickel Of Charity?
JERK, MONEY, PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | OCTOBER 17, 2017
(Our chain has implemented a “roundup” feature; customers are asked if they want to round their total up to the nearest dollar, with the extra cents being donated to a children’s charity. The outcome means that it is impossible for the donation to ever be more than 99 cents.)

Customer: “What’s this prompt asking me?”

Me: “It’s asking if you want to round the total of your purchase up to the next dollar, and donate the extra to charity.”

(The customer hits yes before proceeding with her question.)

Customer: “Oh, now I remember. I think I donated two or three dollars with it the last time I was here. How much is it this time?”

Me: “Less than a dollar, ma’am.”

(The transaction proceeds normally, until we finally reach the end.)

Me: “All right, your total is $28.00.”

Customer: “It’s how much? Oh, no. That can’t be right!”

(She begins rummaging around in her wallet, still thinking aloud.)

Customer: “I’m sure I added everything up correctly, but I didn’t bring enough for that with me… Wait, I know! It was that donation! How much did you say it was?”

Me: “Less than a dollar?”

Customer: “Well, take it off. I’m sorry; I didn’t realize it was going to be so much.”

(I go ahead and cancel it, displaying her new total without the rounding.)

Me: “All right, your total is… $27.95, ma’am.”

(The customer promptly pulled out $28 in cash, and I handed her the nickel in change.)

A Case Of System-atic Failure
AT THE CHECKOUT, JERK, PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, SARCASM, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | OCTOBER 12, 2017
(I’m more than halfway through a seven-hour shift, running on five hours of sleep, after a 17-hour day between school and work the previous day. I am supposed to have a cashier to run register, but the cashier hasn’t shown up for any of his shifts this week and we haven’t gotten a hold of him at all, so I am running the front end of the store myself for the entire time. This is right before a snowstorm, so we are unusually busy for a weekend morning. By the time this customer comes up, I am tired, frazzled from trying to help so many different customers at once, almost out of patience, and have more than fulfilled my daily requirement of idiocy. A lady walks up to my register and places a bag of [Store] brand candy and a package of [Popular Brand] Easter marshmallows.)

Customer: “Both of these items are on sale, two for three dollars. They should ring up that price. Make sure they ring up that price.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t believe they will ring up like that; these are two different brands, so they are two different sales. They don’t—”

Customer: “I don’t care if they are two different brands! They should ring up two-for-three!”

Me: “Let me ring them up and see how they ring up, but I’m just letting you know that is not typically how the sales work.”

(I ring up the items and run the customer’s store card.)

Me: “It looks like they both ran up at $1.59 each, so it’s close to the two-for-three deal.”

Customer: *slams hands on counter* “They should be two-for-three! What kind of store doesn’t honor their sales?”

Me: “Ma’am, we do honor our sales; however, the sale tags do say that the single purchase price is more than if you buy two and—”

Customer: “I have two!”

Me: “Yes, but they are two different brands. I know it can be confusing, and we get this sometimes with makeup. Like if [Makeup Brand #1 ] and [Makeup Brand #2 ] are both on sale, buy one get one half off, and you bought an eyeshadow from both, would you expect to get one of them half off?”

Customer: *nods emphatically* “Yes!”

Me: “Okay. What if there is that same sale on hair dye and [brand] macaroni and cheese? Would you expect to get one of them half off?”

Customer: “Of course!”

(By this time there are about five people behind her that are starting to get impatient. After a couple more tries of explaining it to her…)

Me: “That, unfortunately, is not how the system works. Would you still like both of the products?”

Customer: *throws card at me* “Yes, fine, whatever. And don’t tell me how the system works! I’ve been in the system for fifty years! I know how the system works.”

Me: “Wow, you must have been a loyal customer from the start! The company has only recently celebrated our 50th anniversary! We appreciate your loyalty!” *slight sarcasm*

(She finally grabbed her bags and left, and I was able to greet the next customer. But not before hitting my head against the wall first.)

“Good Morning” – There’s An App For That
CALIFORNIA, JERK, PHARMACY, STRANGERS, USA | FRIENDLY | NOVEMBER 4, 2017
(I’m at the pharmacy in my doctor’s office with my mom. I’m 26, and my mom is in her late 50s. We are waiting for my name to be called, chatting and doing work on our phones, when a man who seems to be in his late 50s to mid 60s approaches us.)

Man: “Excuse me, ladies.” *sounding affronted* “You put those down now!”

Mom: “What?”

Man: “If you’re on those, then you won’t be able to say, ‘Good morning.’”

Me: “Good morning.”

(He nodded and walked off, looking smug. My mom and I shared a look. It irked us that he thought he could make insinuating comments to strangers like that, as if we were being totally frivolous and inattentive to people around us just because we were using our phones. For sure, people use them more than they should, but why does that give you the right to police others’ phone use? It was patronizing and totally weird.)

Failed The Pregnancy Test
HEALTH & BODY, JERK, LGBTQ, PHARMACY, UK | WORKING | NOVEMBER 1, 2017
(I’m picking up a prescription along with a couple of purchases.)

Cashier: “Here you are, sir. Also, would you be interested in our pregnancy tests?”

Me: “Uh, I’m male, so, no.”

Cashier: “Perhaps for your girlfriend?”

Me: “No?”

Cashier: “Come on, now. A strapping young man like yourself? It’s always good to be safe.”

Me: “I’m really not interested. I doubt a pregnancy test would even be effective with me. A condom sounds more reliable.”

Cashier: “Ah, but they can fail!”

Me: “It’s still a no.”

Cashier: *suddenly furious* “WELL, WHY NOT?”

Me: “Because I think it’s doubtful my boyfriend will come up to me and say he might be pregnant.”

Cashier: *pauses* “Oh, well, you didn’t have to be so rude!”

(After I paid and before the receipt printed, the cashier just walked away. The kicker: I go there every year for gay sexual health checkups. He actually knows my boyfriend and me well, and he has always known that I’m gay.)

The Workforce Is Strong With This One
DRUG STORE, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 31, 2017
(We have a giant inflatable ghost on display for Halloween. It doesn’t quite sit right and tends to lean to the side, so we frequently adjust it.)

Coworker: “[My name]! The ghost is falling again.”

Me: “Okay…”

(We spend about five minutes fiddling with it, until we get it to sit up right.)

Coworker: “Oh, no. His ascot got flipped backwards.”

(We proceed to grab boxes and stick-like things, trying to flip the ascot back around to no avail.)

Me: “OH! I’ve got it!”

(I run away with no explanation and return with a toy extendable lightsaber. I make the “vwing” noise and I flick it and extend the lightsaber. I succeed in straightening the ghost’s tie on the first attempt.)

Coworker: “…You just fixed the ascot of an inflatable ghost with a lightsaber.”

Me: “I love this job.”