(Regrettably, our local university is the main reason that county STD rates are the second-highest in the state (the highest-ranking county is home to a naval base). Outbreaks are common and rather a grim joke with local healthcare providers. The county has purchased a new emergency radio system and one of their officers has arrived to train our staff on how to use the equipment.)
Instructor: “The great thing about this system is that it is linked to over two hundred towers, state-wide. This means that if you need to, you can communicate not only throughout the county, but with other jurisdictions as well. For example; let’s say you have to set up some kind of emergency clinic at the University for… I don’t know, what’s an epidemic that the students might experience there?”
Me: *without thinking* “Probably chlamydia.”
(My boss shushed me, but our director of nursing almost fell off her chair from laughing so hard.)
Crazy Requests, Emergency Services, Hospital, Jerk, Montana, Patients, USA | Healthy | March 13, 2018
(I work in an emergency room. It’s late morning when a well-dressed woman of late middle-age registers. She states that she was just in a serious accident and must be seen immediately. Although we know that we hear about serious in-town accidents right away, sometimes a serious accident does occur in the country and the victims may be brought in by private vehicle. They usually have on outdoor-appropriate clothing rather than clean high heels, but we still hustle the patient back quickly. Once in a bed, she relates that the “serious accident” occurred hours ago, in town, at a speed she calls “much less than 20 miles per hour.” She has driven here in the car involved. She gets an exam and a neck x-ray. Then, she complains
Patient: “This is taking too long. I am diabetic and haven’t eaten breakfast. You have to feed me.”
(It’s about 11:30 am.)
Me: “What have you been doing since the accident?”
Patient: “I went to see a lawyer first, then came straight to the hospital.”
Me: *sighs* “We’ll get you some crackers and peanut butter.”
Patient: “No, I’m in the mood for an egg salad sandwich.”
Me: *finally had enough* “This is not a restaurant, and we don’t have egg salad sandwiches lying around to give out!”
Delaware, Emergency Services, Jerk, Lazy/Unhelpful, Pets & Animals, USA | Healthy | March 11, 2018
(I am in high school, and I come home to one of my two dogs having had a severe stroke. I hold her the entire way to the vet and stay at the office while they put her down. My remaining dog is my favorite dog of all time. One day, around five am, I go downstairs to find him having a seizure. I can’t drive, my parents are at work an hour away, and no vet offices are open around me. I am panicking so badly that I decide to call 911.)
Operator: “You have reached a 911 operator. What is your emergency?”
Me: *through panic and tears* “My dog is having a seizure and I don’t know what to do!”
Operator: “You will have to dial a vet. This is for emergencies.”
Me: “There are no vets open around me! Please tell me what I should do. Is there anywhere I can call? Anyone who can help me?”
Operator: “Look. You need to calm down and just call a vet. This is an emergency service.”
(I ended up hanging up and repeatedly calling my parents until one of them answered. Eventually an adult arrived and comforted my dog for the three hours until a vet opened. My dog died that day. People still joke about me calling 911 over a dog having a seizure
Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Emergency Services, Georgia, Revolting, USA | Healthy | March 10, 2018
(I am a brand new EMT; I’ve had my license less than six months. I am working for a non-emergency transport service that specializes in psych patients. I go to a hospital to pick up a patient going to a mental health facility for a court-mandated 72-hour hold. The nurse advises me that the patient tried to overdose on some pills after a family crisis, but has been calm and cooperative since being in the ER. My partner and I introduce ourselves to the patient, get her on the stretcher, and load her into the ambulance. I begin to assess her.)
Me: “Do you have any pain anywhere?”
Patient: “Yeah, my stomach is hurting from my cycle. Can you give me anything for that?”
Me: “No, ma’am. I’m sorry, but I cannot give medications.” *pain medication is not within my scope of practice*
(I finish my assessment and start on my patient care report. All the while, the patient continues to complain about her pain. I advise her that I will tell the receiving facility about it as soon as we get there so the doctor can give her something, but in the meantime I get a heat pack out of the cabinet and give it to her with a towel. At about the halfway point of a two-hour trip, the patient announces that she has to use the restroom.)
Patient: “I have real bad diarrhea and I need to go now.”
Me: “Well, I don’t have a bedpan, and we cannot stop, so I need you to hold it.”
Patient: “I can’t hold it.”
Me: *to partner* “Hey, we are in [Town], right? I need you to divert to [Hospital] so I can take her into the ER. She needs to use the bathroom.”
Partner: “Can’t she hold it?”
Me: “She said no, and I would rather not have to deal with the smell.”
Partner: “Okay.”
(We get another five minutes down the road and the patient manages to slip out of all restraints and stands up.)
Me: “Ma’am, I need you to sit on the stretcher and put your seatbelts back on. If we were to get in a wreck or if my partner made a sharp turn you could be hurt.”
Patient: “I can’t hold it anymore. I’m going to s*** my pants.” *begins to undo her pants*
Me: *to partner* “Hey, pull over. She is off of the stretcher and she is about to s*** on the floor.”
Partner: “What?! Put a sheet down first.”
(As I put a sheet down I plead with the patient to reconsider, to no avail. The patient proceeds to force herself to defecate, urinate, and menstruate on the sheet. She does not have diarrhea and definitely could have held it. After the patient finishes, she uses her clothes to wipe herself and sits back down, half-naked, on my stretcher. I cover her with a sheet, re-secure her belts, turn on the exhaust fan, and try not to breath any more than absolutely necessary.)
Me: *to partner* “Hey, I need you to get there fast; I can’t take this.”
(For the next thirty minutes, the patient sits silently on the stretcher. When she realizes her previous attempt for pain meds was unsuccessful, she decides to up the ante.)
Patient: “My stomach is still hurting so bad. Can you please give something now?”
Me: “No. Like I said before, I can’t give pain medications.”
(The patient goes on a rant for several minutes before becoming silent again. Just when I think we might get to the destination without further excitement, the patient puts her fingers in her mouth and causes herself to vomit all over the floor.)
Me: “Seriously? What makes you think this is helping your cause?”
Patient: “Why don’t you just give me something for pain?”
Me: “I am an EMT basic. I can assess you, take vitals, and do CPR. Only a paramedic can give pain medications, and they still would not give you any, because menstrual cramps don’t qualify for narcotics use.”
(The patient continues to complain, but we have no further trouble until we get to the mental health facility. The patient tries to beat up the orderly after they tell her she will have to be seen by the doctor before she can get anything for pain. As we are decontaminating the truck, my partner looks at me.)
Partner: “I have been in EMS for 12 years, and I have to say, that was a first.”
Australia, Criminal & Illegal, Harassment, New South Wales, Retail, Rude & Risque, Sydney | Right | October 20, 2017
(I am working in a two-storey men’s clothing store. It is almost closing time, and I am the only one working on the bottom floor, when an elderly man shuffles in and approaches me.)
Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”
Customer: “Uh…” *stares at me for a while*
Me: “Yes? Is there anything you were looking for?”
Customer: *continues staring*
Me: *slightly creeped out, but keeps smiling* “Okay, well, let me know if you need anything!”
Customer: *suddenly points to a pair of display pants* “Get me those in XL.”
(I tell the customer to stay while I run upstairs to fetch the requested pants. However, when I come back down, the man’s pants are down and his family jewels are on full display.)
Customer: *still staring creepily at me* “You’re pretty.”
Clothing Store, Crazy Requests, Golden Years, Revolting, USA, Utah | Right | October 13, 2017
(It’s a quiet Sunday morning, and I’m the only cashier. An older man who looks at least 70 hobbles up to my register and places a shirt on the counter.)
Customer: “I’d like to get this shirt, and I was told you could also take the sensor tag off these pants I’m wearing so I can buy them.”
Me: “Uh, the pants you have on right now? They’re from here?”
Customer: “Yes. Trying them on tuckered me out, and the girl in the fitting room said you could remove the sensor tag up here at the register.”
(Our sensor-removers are secured to the counter, and I know for a fact that there’s no way this man could manage holding his leg up to get the sensor tag taken off. I stammer for a moment before remembering an unattached sensor tag remover we used for our express lane on Black Friday months ago.)
Me: “Right! Let me just see if someone can get us the sensor-remover we need.”
(I ask over the radio and receive some confusion over why I would need it, but eventually my manager says she’ll go to the lock box in the back and get it.)
Me: “All right, [Manager] is just grabbing that sensor-remover, and then you’ll be good to go!”
Customer: “But I was told that you could remove the sensor tag.”
Me: “Yeah, we can; it’s just that our normal removers are attached to the counter. [Manager] is grabbing the unattached one right now.”
Customer: “Well, I’ve already stood here longer than I can handle. If I have to go take the pants off, I just won’t buy them.”
Me: “No, it’s all right. The sensor-remover is on its way up right now; don’t worry.”
Customer: “This is ridiculous. I was told the sensor could be removed. I won’t buy the pants if I have to go take them off.”
(I’m taken aback by how angry the customer is getting, but thankfully my confused manager arrives at that moment with the unattached remover. I go around the counter and have to crouch down to try and remove the sensor at the bottom of the customer’s pants leg. It’s a tricky process, and I notice the man is balancing on one foot, so I tell him he can put his foot down if it would make him more comfortable.)
Customer: “Actually, I have an open sore on that foot.”
Me: *freezes* “Uh, where is that exactly, so I don’t bump it?”
Customer: “Oh, it’s just on the bottom of my foot.”
(With that gross image in mind, I was finally able to get the sensor removed from the pants. I then had to pull all the tags and stickers off of the pants, getting much closer and more touchy-feely with the customer than I would have ever wanted to. He left without so much as a “thank you,” and I promptly took a much needed break to shake off the heebie-jeebies the whole interaction gave me.)
Books & Reading, Library, Rude & Risque, USA | Right | August 22, 2017
(I am a reference librarian at a public library. We get a number of reference questions by phone. In particular, there is one elderly woman who as far as we know has never been in the library, but calls nearly every day to ask a question that is usually related to something in pop culture — for example, the name of an actor on a TV show she has watched. She’s a very sweet lady, so we always do our best to help her. One Saturday afternoon, my supervisor and I are together at the desk in the reference room, which is full of people but still fairly quiet. Anyone in the room could easily hear us on the phone. Our friend calls and my supervisor answers the phone.)
Supervisor: “Oh, hello, Mrs. Smith. How are you? How can we help you today?”
(She pauses to listen and her eyes get huge. She looks at me, looks around the room, and then suddenly GETS DOWN UNDER THE DESK and speaks very quietly into the phone, while I stare in astonishment. A moment later, she re-appears and hangs up the phone.)
Me: *confused*
Supervisor: *whispers* “She’s reading a book and wanted to know what a strap-on is.”
Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Reception, USA, Vet | Healthy | March 9, 2018
(I come home to find that one of my pet snake’s eyes appears to be injured in some way. Since this is my first pet reptile, and I am not sure if this is something that needs immediate attention, I call the veterinary hospital of a very prestigious vet school nearby. Since it’s relatively late in the day, all the vets have left, but there are receptionists on call 24 hours a day.)
Receptionist: “Hi, you’ve called [Vet Hospital]. How can I help you?”
Bosses & Owners, California, Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Jerk, Los Angeles, Office, USA | Healthy | March 8, 2018
(I work Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. My daughter has been having some health issues and recently started having grand mal seizures which require the school to call me to come pick her up. All my coworkers know this. My boss is trying to cover some shifts and asks me
Boss: “Can you cover some of the Monday, Wednesday, and Friday shifts?”
Me: “Sorry, I don’t think that’s a good idea. My daughter has been having seizures; she had to be picked up Thursday and Friday last week.”
Boss: “So, Friday is the only day you can’t work?”
Me: “No, I don’t have an emergency person to pick her up Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.”
Boss: “So, she’s scheduled to have seizures on every Thursday and Friday?”
Me: “No. We don’t schedule her seizures.”
Boss: “Well, can you schedule them, then? We really need these shifts covered.”
Ignoring & Inattentive, Medical Office, Psychiatrist, South Carolina, USA | Healthy | March 7, 2018
(I have severe ADD and take Ritalin. I have been seeing a psychiatrist every six months for over a decade because it’s necessary to keep my prescription up, but normally we don’t do anything else. He asks me if I’m having side effects, I say no, he asks how school, work, or whatever is going, I tell him, he writes me a new prescription, and we’re done.)
Doctor: “And how are your classes going?”
Me: “Pretty well, except for this one lab where the whole grade is based on group work and my groupmates have disappeared…”
(I’m very frustrated with my classmates, and as I explain the problem with the lab, I start crying.)
Doctor: “Here, take these tissues! I had no idea you were so depressed. I’m going to prescribe you some medicine, and I want you to come back in a week for a follow-up.”
Me: “What? No, I’m just sleep-deprived! Your office is an hour from my house, and you get behind schedule so fast that my mom insists I book an appointment at seven am. I had to get up at 5:30 to be here! I’m a night owl; I get up at 10 or 11 if I don’t have anything I have to do earlier. I always cry too easily when I’m tired.”
(He doesn’t believe me and prescribes the medication, anyway. A week later, I’m back in his office.)
Doctor: “How are you feeling? If we need to, we can adjust the dosage before your next follow-up next week.”
Me: “Fine, like I was before, when I had slept. I know antidepressants take a while to kick in, but I don’t think these are ever going to affect me, because I’m not depressed. And I really can’t afford to keep experimenting with them; you know I don’t have insurance.”
Doctor: “I tried to find the cheapest antidepressants I could. I thought these were only about $10 a bottle.”
Me: “Come here. I want to tell you a secret.”
(He comes closer.)
Me: “You know those nice ladies behind the window in your lobby? They make people give them money before we can talk to you.”
(It had never occurred to him that visiting a psychiatrist every week instead of every six months might be a little pricey! I went off the antidepressants and am fine, as long as I don’t have to get up before dawn. Doctors, I know that lots of people really are depressed and it’s a serious problem, but people also know their own bodies, minds, and situations. It helps to listen.)
Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals, USA, Vet | Healthy | March 6, 2018
(I work as a veterinary technician. We are preparing to perform a blood draw on a dog to test for a specific disease that affects the production of hormones from the adrenal glands. The dog in question is not neutered and is likely used as a show dog.)
Owner: “So, this disease you’re testing for, is it hereditary?”
Me: “Yes, the factors that cause this disease can be passed on in a dog’s genes.”
Owner: “So, like… If he tests positive, would you recommend not breeding him?”
Me: “If he does test positive, then we don’t recommend that you breed him, as there is a chance he could pass the gene onto his offspring.”
Owner: “But it’s only a recommendation, right? I could still breed him, regardless of the results?”
Me: “Sir, as a medical professional, it’s a very, very strong recommendation that you should not breed a dog if it is certain that he has a specific hereditary disease. There is a very high chance he would produce more dogs predisposed to developing the disease. It would also ruin your reputation as a breeder if you did this knowingly. So, let’s just hope he comes back negative.”
(The owner seemed satisfied with the answer, but it troubles me that he was still considering breeding the dog if the test came back positive.)
Doctor/Physician, Hong Kong, Language & Words, LGBTQ, Medical Office | Healthy | March 4, 2018
(I am a foreign college student and I need to see a gynecologist for the first time. I also need to fill out a medical information form that’s all in Chinese.)
Receptionist: “Can you read Chinese?”
Me: “The basics, but I have trouble with medical vocab.”
Receptionist: “Okay, start filling what you can and come back when there’s no line.”
(I do so and the receptionist translates while I answer.)
Receptionist: “Okay, this says, ‘Are you sexually active?’”
Me: *circles yes*
Receptionist: “Okay, and this says, ‘What protection do you use? Check all applicable.’”
Me: “Okay, does it say, ‘dental dam,’ somewhere?”
Receptionist: “Huh?”
Me: “Um… for oral protection.”
Receptionist: “This is asking what you do to not get pregnant.”
Me: “So, it’s ‘contraceptive,’ not ‘protection’?”
Receptionist: “Same thing.”
Me: “No… It isn’t. Okay, where does it ask for the gender of my partner?”
Receptionist: “Gender?”
Me: “Yes. I’m sexually active with women, not men.”
Receptionist: *long pause, looks around as if for help* “Then you put, ‘No,’ for sexually active and skip these questions.”
Me: “Don’t you care about me getting STDs?”
Receptionist: “Huh?”
Me: “It means I can still get STDs, as I’m sexually active, but you want me to put, ‘No,’ for being sexually active.”
Receptionist: *blank stare* “Uh. Let me talk to the doctor.”
(I am not called back for a while, and when I am, it’s for the actual appointment.)
Doctor: “I’m sorry about the form. We never get people like you. Let’s continue.” *hands form back to me*
(I noticed next to the line asking about being sexually active, “lesbian” was written in, in English. She helped me fill the rest of the form, adding — in English — the details it didn’t support, with no further issues.)
(I work at a call centre for a German online pharmacy. Unlike other pharmacies, we allow customers to pre-order medicines which requires prescriptions. It should go without saying, but we’re not allowed to ship orders that contain a prescription, until the original is sent to us by a postal service. There are also no shipping costs for our customer, if there is a prescription.)
Me: “Your [Pharmacy]. You are speaking with [My Name].”
Customer: “I placed an order last week at your store and it still hasn’t arrived. Where is it?”
Me: “Oh, that doesn’t sound so good. Could you please tell me your order number?”
(The customer doesn’t have it, so I search for her by name. It takes me a while to find her, as she has a very common name and doesn’t want to give me her postal code.)
Me: “Ah, there we have you. I’m afraid your prescription for [Medicine] hasn’t arrived yet.”
Customer: “This is outrageous! I do not need a prescription for that order! Send them to me at once!”
(I try to stay cool.)
Me: “Ma’am, [Medicine] requires a prescription, by law. We cannot deliver this order until we have the original prescription.”
Customer: “Then you should at least have told me so!”
Me: “Our online store has classified this item as one that requires a prescription. You have also received an order confirmation that asks you for your prescription.”
Customer: “No, I never received a confirmation, so don’t dare lie to me!”
Me: “Uh… Ma’am, I do not understand; you received the confirmation on [date and time].”
Customer: “No, I never did; I’ll show you!”
(I can hear her typing and the sound of a mail program opening. She waits for a moment, and then she starts mumbling to herself.)
Customer: “’Dear Mrs. [Name], thank you for your order. Please send us your your original prescription by mail, so we can continue with that order.’”
(The customer wheezes angrily.)
Customer: “This is way too complicated with your store! Other pharmacies will send them to me immediately!”
Me: “Ma’am, even other pharmacies have to wait for your prescription, as [Medicine] requires one.”
Customer: “I will never order at your store ever again! I’ve never been insulted this badly in my entire life!”
(The customer called the next day. She made a new order without the prescription and asked if that was all right.)
Canada, Hospital, Jerk, Lazy/Unhelpful, Ontario, Toronto | Healthy | March 2, 2018
(I volunteer in the emergency room of a very large hospital. I’ve volunteered in other departments as well, so I’m quite familiar with the layout. I notice a woman wandering around looking lost, so I greet her and ask if I can help her find where she’s going.)
Patient: “Yeah, I have some questions about some medical treatment I’m going to be receiving.”
Me: “Sure. Which department do you need?”
Patient: “I’m not telling you my personal medical information!”
Me: “You don’t have to, ma’am. I only need to know the category of treatment so I know where to direct you.”
Patient: “Isn’t there some kind of central information desk?”
Me: “Yes, but you’ll have to tell them the same thing.”
Patient: “Well, my medical information is confidential. Just tell me where I can get my questions answered.”
Me: “In order to do that, I need some idea of what you’re here for.”
Patient: “This is a very disorganized hospital.” *walks away*
(I probably should have just directed her to Psych.)
Bosses & Owners, Health & Body, Jerk, Office, The Netherlands | Healthy | March 1, 2018
(It is evening. I feel I am getting the flu, and that it won’t be better in the morning. I let my team manager know that I will call in sick tomorrow. I stay home for two days and show up at work again. In the stand-up meeting, my manager addresses me.)
Manager: “[My Name], I want to talk about how you called in sick recently. It’s a pity you did so in the evening. It was too early. You should have waited until the morning, like always, and decided then.”
(Everyone in the circle nods and sighs.)
Me: “I don’t understand. I mean, it is good to know it up front, so you can plan ahead with my colleagues.”
Manager: “No, that is not how it works. You showed yourself weak by calling in early. Never do that again.”
(As a result, from then on, those few days a year I was actually sick, I always waited until at least eleven in the morning until I called in, despite HRM wanting to know it as soon as possible every day
Dentist, Jerk, Liars/Scammers, USA | Healthy | February 27, 2018
(I’ve been visiting the same dentist for about five years, and never had any issues. I’m also over thirty and have never had a cavity, so I consider myself fortunate. I go in for my six-month cleaning and let him know that as a result of a new job, I’ll be moving to a town about an hour away.)
Me: “So, this is the last time I’ll see you!”
Dentist: “Oh, we’ll miss you!”
Me: “I’ll miss you guys, too.”
Dentist: “You know, you could keep coming here. It’s not like we’re that far away, and you’ll be in town to visit your parents, since they live nearby.”
Me: “Um… Well, no, I think I’d like to find a dentist closer to where I’ll be living. You know, just in case I have an emergency.”
(The dentist tries for a few more minutes to convince me to keep visiting him, before giving up. He’s finally done with the exam.)
Dentist: “Oh, bad news. You have eleven cavities.”
Me: *completely shocked* “ELEVEN? Did you say eleven cavities? As in ten plus one?”
Dentist: *sorrowfully* “Yes. Eleven. You’ll need to get those filled right away. Let’s go up front and have my receptionist schedule the first appointment; I think we should do at least two, one side of your mouth and then the other…”
Me: *interrupting* “Wait a minute. I’ve never even had one cavity in thirty-one years! I brush and floss three times a day. You’ve always said how great my teeth look. Six months ago you said everything was fine, and now I have eleven cavities?”
Dentist: “I know. It’s very bad. Come on. Let’s get your next appointment scheduled and [Receptionist] can tell you out-of-pocket costs.”
Me: “You know, I think I’m going to hold off and get a second opinion on this. No offense, but it just seems really extreme. One or two, maybe, but eleven?”
(The dentist was adamant that I needed to get it taken care of right away, but I didn’t budge, and left without making a follow-up. I moved to my new town and found a great dentist who was surprised when I told him my last dentist found eleven cavities. He didn’t find any! Ten years later, I’ve still never had one. The worst part was that a friend of mine worked for that shady dentist; I had to call and tell him what happened and he was so embarrassed. He quit a few months later.)
Medical Office, Nurses, Pennsylvania, Pets & Animals, Silly, USA | Healthy | February 26, 2018
(I’m the customer in this story. It’s my first day at a new doctor, so they’re asking me standard questions.)
Nurse: “Do you have any pets?”
Me: “Yes. I have eight of them.”
Nurse: “What kind?”
Me: “Three cats, three dogs, and they probably don’t matter, but I also have a goldfish and a betta.” *pause* “Oh, wait. Actually, I have nine. I just remembered that I have a little sister.”
(The nurse laughed for a good minute and a half before she could continue her questions.)
home, Parents/Guardians, Pennsylvania, USA | Healthy | February 24, 2018
(My mother is in her sixties, and while not incredibly vain, she can’t help but be a little interested in various plastic surgical procedures. Since she has gotten to know a plastic surgeon through the ballroom dance club she helps run with my dad, she goes to his office one day for a consultation. I happen to call her the afternoon after her appointment. Also note that my three siblings and I were all born via medically necessary C-sections, and my mom is ten years in remission for a mild form of lymphoma.)
Me: “So, how did it go?”
Mother: “It was fine. But I have to tell you, I don’t think this is for me.”
Me: “Oh? What makes you say that?”
Mother: “Probably the fact that I’m not in the mood to have a more extensive medical procedure just to look pretty than I did to beat cancer or have four children!”
(I have no problem with anyone who chooses to have plastic surgery — it’s your body, after all — but I couldn’t fault my mom’s rationale, and it did make me laugh. Just one of the many reasons I love this lady so much!)
Hospital, Jerk, Nurse, Parents/Guardians, USA, Washington | Healthy | February 23, 2018
(I’m a nurse. I’ve been assigned to a young girl who just had emergency surgery to save her life. She has a long incision down her stomach, which will end up as a scar. Her parents come to me about a week after the surgery, but before the wound has closed or the staples have been removed, clearly upset.)
Father: “When are we going to talk about reducing that scar?”
Me: “I’m sorry, but your daughter has barely started to heal. Let’s get her healthy before we worry about appearances.”
Father: “Excuse me? It’s bad enough she has [large birthmark]; now you’re going to add this, too?”
Mother: “What about covering it in Vitamin E oil?”
Me: “Ma’am, right now we’re worried about infections and how well she’s healing. We can talk about—”
Father: “No! You will fix her now!”
(I made up something about talking to the doctor about it and left. I truly pity this child, if that was their concern.)
Extra Stupid, Medical Office, Texas, USA | Healthy | February 23, 2018
(I work at a disability law office and part of my job is to send out requests for medical records for our clients. We routinely get calls from the records departments of the doctors and hospitals we deal with, saying they don’t have the records requested. My favorite, though, is one from a clinic down the road whose record keeper has worked there for over five years. This conversation leaves me stunned to this day.)
Employee: “Hi, this is [Employee] from [Clinic], calling about the medical request you guys sent us. It says here you’re needing records from May 6th, 2016 to present date. What is present date?”
Me: “Um, present date would be now. Today.”
Employee: “Oh. Well, we don’t have any records for May 6th.”
Me: “Okay. What about after that? The client said she had been there three times since we last requested records. Was she there June 4th?”
Employee: “Let me check. Yeah, she was here.”
Me: “Okay, what about August 12th and September 17th?”
Employee: “Yeah, we have records for those days, but we don’t have any for May 6th.”
Me: “That’s fine. We just need any records that are there between May 6th and now.”
Employee: “But there aren’t any records for May 6th. She wasn’t here that day. There’s no records I can give you.”
Me: “No. Look: she was there on May 5th, okay? That’s the last date of service we got here in our records. So, we are sending for records from the day after May 5th, which is May 6th, all the way up to now. We need any records the doctor put in there within that time frame. It doesn’t have to be on May 6th, just anything after that time that’s there, okay?”
Records: “Okay… She wasn’t here after May 6th, though.”
Me: “You just told me that she was there in June, August, and September!”
Records: “Yeah, she was here on those days.”
Me: “Then, clearly, I need those records, since they are all after May 6th!”
Records: “Oh. Oh! You need all the records between the dates of May 6th and today?”
Me: “Yes, that is what I need!”
Records: “Okay, I’ll have them done today and brought over to you.”
(It took her another month to get us the records, and the clinic is right down the road.)
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