Have A Heart, Use Your Brain

Lying Is All Relative(s), Part 3
PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 5, 2015
(I’m in high school, and work at my father’s pharmacy during the summer. One day a woman who looks to be in her mid-twenties rushes up to my line, cutting several people. She dumps multiple boxes of prescription medication on the counter, as well as about $50 worth of make-up, hair dye, and jewelry.)

Customer: “I’m the owner’s daughter, so I get all this stuff for free, okay?”

Me: “Ma’am, please get to the back of the line.”

Customer: “For the love of God, just ring me up! I’m the owner’s daughter! I don’t have time to wait!”

Me: “You’re the owner’s daughter?”

Customer: “Yes! What are you, f****** deaf? Just f****** ring my stuff up so it won’t set off the alarm!”

Me: “Wow, that’s such a coincidence.”

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: *smiling widely* “I’m the owner’s daughter, too!”

(The customer stared at me for a second, then turned beet red and ran out of the store, leaving her items on the counter. She hasn’t been back since!)

A Legal Standing
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 6, 2015
(Just the pharmacist and I are working the late shift, around 2:00 am. at a popular 24-hour pharmacy. An elderly woman, who has a reputation for getting prescriptions early, hands me a script for painkillers.)

Elderly Customer: “Hi, I need this filled.”

Me: *for narcotics, our store requires we ask vague questions to help weed out fraudulence* “All righty, is this from today?”

Elderly Customer: “Yes, but I want it dated for three days ago.”

Me: “Forgive me?”

Elderly Customer: “Yes. You all cheated me out of my pills, so I had to wait three days for my refill. So you will date it three days early so that i can get it early from now on.”

(The pharmacist, a 65-year-old man who’s so close to retirement he’s not afraid of being fired, hears the conversation and comes over.)

Pharmacist: “Hello, I’m the pharmacist. Can I help you with something?”

Elderly Customer: “Yes. Your technician refuses to fill my prescription. I want you to fill it and date it for three days ago.”

Pharmacist: “No. It is against the law to do so. I will fill and date it for today.” *turns to leave*

Elderly Customer: “Hey, a**-hole! I’m not done with you!”

(At this point, the pharmacist turns slowly around. I am searching for cover.)

Elderly Customer: “You’re gonna fill my d*** pills for how I want! I’m the customer!”

Pharmacist: “What you are asking is so illegal, it isn’t even physically possible to do with our software.”

Elderly Customer: “It’s not illegal where I’m standing.”

(The elderly customer gives a big grin like she has won. The pharmacist proceeds to walk around the counter, out of the pharmacy, and stands next to the customer.)

Pharmacist: “Ehhh. Nope! It’s illegal over here, too. Good luck getting that filled, though.”

(He handed her the prescription, and she stormed away screaming curses.)

A Multidirectional Question
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 23, 2015
(This took place a few years ago when Mum and I were at a pharmacy. We are stocking up on some over-the-counter medications and witness this gem of a conversation between the busy pharmacist and another customer

Customer: *in a low voice, clearly embarrassed* “I, umm… need some medicine for the toilet.”

Pharmacist: “For diarrhea or constipation?”

Customer: *with a confused look on his face* “What does that mean?”

Pharmacist: “You wanna make it stop or make it go?”

When The Register Is Frozen, Let It Go
PHARMACY | WORKING | SEPTEMBER 24, 2015
(This happens on my second trip to the pharmacy in the same day. Note, I have plenty of experience as a cashier and actually own a small shop, but I generally pretend to be ignorant as a customer so as not to offend cashiers who do not know what they are doing.)

Pharmacy Tech: *referring to the Point of Sale machine* “It’s going to tell you to sign before you swipe your card.”

Machine: *displays words* “Please swipe card.”

Me: *swipes card without waiting for the screen I am supposed to sign*

Machine: *flashes rapidly between the screen I was supposed to sign and the total, then says* “Processing, please wait.”

Me: “Oops! I was supposed to sign first.”

Pharmacy Tech: “On my end, it says it is waiting for you.”

Me: *turning POS around so he can read it* “On my end, it says, “Processing, please wait.””

Pharmacy Tech: “Well, these are new. I have no idea what to do about that! Try hitting cancel.”

Me: *hits cancel*

(The pharmacy tech hits cancel about twenty times, which any cashier who has used a POS before should know causes the system to freeze. He calls to another employee behind him.)

Pharmacy Tech: “She swiped her card before signing. It’s frozen. What am I supposed to do now?”

Pharmacy Tech #2 : “I don’t know. Just shut it down and move to another register.”

(I left wondering how long it would take before they froze all three of their registers.)

Needs An Urgent Prescription Of Common Decency
PHARMACY | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 16, 2015
(My wife is a pharmacist for a large chain. She works overnight shifts. A woman comes in with a prescription from the ER. She notes that there are allergies on the patient’s record which may be present in the medication.)

Pharmacist: “There is a possible allergy with this; I’ll need to check the ingredients for this manufacturer.”

Customer: “You don’t need to check that. I’ve taken this before. I have twins at home and I’m in a hurry.”

Pharmacist: “What kind of reactions do you get?”

Customer: “Well, my tongue and throat swell up, and I get bad rashes on my feet.”

(What she is describing is anaphylaxis and Stevens-Johnson Syndrome respectively, both serious and potentially lethal reactions even on their own. Unsurprisingly my wife feels the patient’s assurance isn’t sufficient and decides to check the ingredients to be sure it won’t kill her. The customer is obviously pissed that she has to wait. Unfortunately the ingredients show the allergens are present.)

Pharmacist: “I’m sorry, there are [allergens] present in this medication and I can’t fill it. However, I will try to contact the ER doctor to get a substitute.”

(The patient begins to give death looks and muttering angrily. The medication in question is a narcotic and a controlled substance. The laws which control the filling of the medications require a hard copy, and cannot usually be taken over the phone at all. The only way around this is to use certain emergency protocols which require the doctor to get the prescription hard copy to the pharmacy in a very short time. This is always a risky business for pharmacists in case the hard copy doesn’t make it. Most of the time a pharmacy will just refuse to fill the script, which they are within their rights to do. Against the odds, my wife manages to get the ER doctor on the phone. He agrees to switch the medication to Percoset and says he will personally deliver the hard copy in a couple hours after his shift ends.)

Pharmacist: “We got the prescription changed to Percoset, and the doctor will bring—”

Customer: “I don’t want Tylenol.”

(The customer begins getting even louder and more surly and increases the death stare. My wife knows that this customer has just decided to be angry and will just escalate it from here.)

Pharmacist: “Please, just stop. I can’t fill something that might hurt you. I’ll contact the doctor again to try to get something else.”

(She gets a hold of him and they switch it to Oxycodone. The doctor will still bring the new prescription over. During the call another doctor calls in on the second line. My wife briefly switches over to speak to them before resuming the original call. This takes about a minute. At this point not only has the patient been saved from a possible allergic reaction, but a doctor who has been who-knows-how-long at the ER is going to make a special trip on his own time to make sure she can get her prescription.)

Pharmacist: “Okay, we’ve got it switched to Oxy—”

Customer: “I don’t want to hear what you have to say.”

(She holds up her hand like a mouth and does a movement which clearly indicates “shut up”. My wife is livid at this point, but tries to focus on what she’s doing. She goes to ring her up.)

Pharmacist: “I think it might be better if [coworker from the front end] rang you out.”

Customer: “I think it might be.”

(My wife stepped away and tried to calm down and get her focus back on her other work. While Coworker was ringing the customer out she could hear her complaining about her. One of her complaints was that she took a minute to talk to on the phone to the other doctor. The punchline to all this is that the patient was given some pills at the ER and could have gone straight home with the meds if she was really in such a hurry, and filled the prescription the next day.)

This Joke Has Been Used
PHARMACY | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 7, 2015
(I overhear the following conversation in the pharmacy

Customer: “I’d, um, like some, er, suppositories, please. Sorry, but I’m not really sure which ones. They’re for my wife, who called out for me to get some when I was half-way out the door on an errand to do something else.”

Pharmacist: “Certainly, sir, let’s go and look for some. Here: would they be these?” *offering him a particular brand*

Customer: “Pff. Not sure. Could be; I know she suffers from the H word, but on the other hand…”

Pharmacist: “You can bring them back for a refund and replace them with the other kind.”

Customer: “What, even if…” *at this point he cracks up laughing* “Even if…” *and he’s laughing so hard he can’t say what he’s trying to say*

Pharmacist: *knowing exactly what he’s trying to say; it’s an old joke, but so funny she can’t help laughing herself* “…even if they’ve been used?”

(Both customer and pharmacist laughed like grade school children.)

Not That Kind Of Store
PHARMACY | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 7, 2015
(I’m a female pharmacist finishing up business with a male customer

Customer: “Oh, I’d also like a woman; can you please get me one?”

Me: “I’m sorry, what do you mean?”

Customer: “I want a woman, the cheap kind!”

(He looks at me dead serious.)

Me: “I’m not quite sure I understand…”

Customer: *slower* “I want a woman! But it has to be the cheap kind.”

(I keep looking at him in complete disbelief.)

Customer: *sighs* “How hard can it be? My wife asked me to get her one box of woman or whatever they are called. Where do you keep it? I can get it myself if you tell me where I can find it.”

Me: “Oh… you must mean the multi-vitamin. Wait, I’ll get it for you.”

Customer: *yells after me* “It has to be the cheap kind!”

(We have two kinds of multi-vitamin pill intended for women and both are labeled WOMAN. Apparently that was what he wanted.)

And Don’t Watch ‘Final Destination’ Before Boarding Either
PHARMACY | WORKING | AUGUST 21, 2015
(I am waiting for my prescription and happen to overhear a conversation between a customer and cashier

Customer: “Oh, I’m going travelling round Europe.”

Cashier: “Oooh, have you ever seen the film Hostel?”

Customer: “No…”

Cashier: “Don’t watch it.”

Weeding Out The Irresponsible Users
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 6, 2015
(I am working the closing shift one evening, with my only other company being my boss, the head pharmacist. A man comes in to pick up a fairly mundane prescription.)

Me: “Before I ring this up, do you have any questions for the pharmacist?”

Customer: “Yeah, will this have any interactions with marijuana?”

Me: *looking to the pharmacist* “Um…”

(My boss comes over to the registers and makes a show of looking through the printed information pamphlet that comes with every prescription.)

Pharmacist: “I don’t believe so…”

Customer: *picking up on our unease* “Oh, don’t worry. I don’t go out on the road or anything when I get high. I just stay home until my trip ends.”

(He then paid his bill and left.)

Me: *to pharmacist* “…Well, at least he’s being responsible about it.”

Cutting Straight To The Point
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 3, 2015
(I have been waiting on line for a long time, but am finally next. Just as the person in front is finishing up their transaction, a woman cuts right in front of me.)

Me: “Excuse me.”

Woman: “Are you next?”

Me: *in an annoyed tone* “Yes.”

Woman: “And are you a total b****?”

Me: “…Also yes, but I don’t see what that has to do with it.”

Unsanitary Behavior
PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 27, 2015
(I am checking out a woman’s prescriptions. She had just finished paying and signing for them when this happens.)

Customer: “Hey there is a big spot of something here on the counter.”

Me: “Oh, yeah, so there is. It’s probably someone who dripped some of the hand sanitizer from the bottle over there on the counter. But to be on the safe side I have some alcohol in a spray bottle and I will clean that right up.”

(I walk over to the other side of the counter grab the bottle and some paper towels to clean it up. When I get over there she had taken the pump out of the bottle of sanitizer and dumped almost the entire bottle on the counter and spread it over almost 2/3 of the counter. See looks at me all smiles.)

Customer: “There, all better. Nice and clean for you!”

(She then just walked away leaving me to have to clean up the GIANT puddle of goop off the counter.)

This Is Not The Android You Are Looking For
PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 2, 2015
(I’m working the register when I overhear this interaction between a customer and my coworker.)

Customer: “Can I get a cord to connect my iPhone to your photo kiosk?”

Coworker: “Sure! What kind of iPhone is it?”

Customer: “Samsung.”

Burning Your Bridges With Midnight Oil
PHARMACY | WORKING | SEPTEMBER 28, 2015
(When I was hired at this store, it was under the condition that I will not have to work midnight shifts because the last bus I can take home leaves at nine. I am not the only special case when it comes to scheduling, but I am the only one in the store who takes the bus. About six months later, the store goes through a change in management. Throughout the change and the holiday season that year, the majority of the store employees realize the new manager is not so great and is firing people for arbitrary and possibly illegal reasons. After the holiday season he stops scheduling me entirely unless it is to cover sick call outs. Then I get this phone call.)

Manager: “Hi, [My Name], this is [Manager]. I’m calling because you never filled out this paperwork.”

Me: “I didn’t know I had any paperwork to fill out. I’m sorry.”

Manager: “Well, you have to do it on the store computer and it was due three weeks ago. Everyone had to do it, but you didn’t.”

Me: “So, you do know you haven’t scheduled me in the last two months, right? I call every week.”

Manager: “Right, but this was due three weeks ago.”

Me: “How was I supposed to do it on the store computer if you never have me in the store? Why didn’t anyone tell me about it when I called to see if I was on the schedule?”

Manager: “Yeah, it was due three weeks ago.”

Me: “I didn’t know about it and you haven’t scheduled me in months. Why are you calling me now if it was due three weeks ago?”

Manager: “Well, you should just come in sometime and we’ll talk in person.”

(A couple days later, I go in to talk to him. After repeating that I should have known about something I had no way of knowing, I ask why I haven’t been scheduled.)

Manager: “Well, can you work midnight shifts?”

Me: “No. I take the bus and the last bus home for me leaves at nine.”

Manager: “Everyone has to work at least one midnight shift a week. You can get someone to give you a ride home.”

Me: “I’m not really comfortable with that. I don’t want to have to ask a different person for a ride home every night and have the entire store know where I live. I take the bus. When I was hired, I was told I did not have to work until midnight because of the bus schedule.”

Manager: “Everyone has to do it.”

(At this point I ask if several employees who have only ever worked one specific shift in the ten-plus years they had been there were now working midnights. He says no to each one.)

Manager: “Everyone has to work until midnight at least once a week, so you’ll just have to get a ride home or get a car.”

Me: “I would love to get a car, but I don’t have enough money for one. It’s hard to make money when you’re not on the schedule.”

Manager: “What about the people you live with?”

Me: “They have a newborn and jobs they wake up early for. I can’t ask them to pick me up. As for the people here, I am not comfortable asking perpetual strangers to take me home. When I was hired [Old Manager] promised I would not be forced to work beyond the bus schedule.”

Manager: “Well, if you won’t work midnights, I’ll have to fire you.”

Me: “Let me get this straight. You’re firing me for not having a car?”

Manager: “For refusing to work.”

Me: “I can’t work midnights. I was hired on the condition I would never have to work midnights. There are no buses past nine. I can work any other shift up to 8:50 pm. I want to work. I need a paycheck.”

Manager: “Okay, well, I’m just going to have to let you go. If you want, I can put a note in your file that this was a mutual decision so you can work for the company again in the future.”

Me: “Absolutely not. This is NOT a mutual agreement. You are FIRING me. And don’t worry. After my experience in the last year with you, I would never try to work for the company again. They clearly do not care about their employees!”

(I was friends with several of the shift managers and heard that over the next year, more than half the store had either quit because of his policies or had been fired for similarly flimsy reasons.)

Discharged And Distasteful
PHARMACY | WORKING | JANUARY 26, 2016
(I work in the call center of a pharmacy that takes care of long term facilities such as nursing homes. As such, we speak mostly with the nurses taking care of the patients.)

Me: “Hello, I am calling from [Pharmacy] and need to know if a patient was discharged from your facility. We see another patient has been admitted into their room.”

Nurse: “All right, who was the patient?”

Me: “[Name of patient].”

Nurse: “Oh, yes she was discharged to the hospital this morning. She isn’t doing too well.”

Me: *typing her answer without thinking* “Oh, wonderful, thank you so much!”

(The nurse was silent until I said goodbye and I didn’t even think about my response until I had hung up. I promise I am not that cold!)

An Anxiety-Inducing Fact
PHARMACY | WORKING | JANUARY 21, 2016
(An extremely rude customer has just left our pharmacy after we refused to fill his prescription. We legally couldn’t fill it without his doctor’s permission because another pharmacy had filled the same medication the day before. The tech who helped him is telling us what happened.)

Tech: “…and so then he said, ‘I make more money in a day than you do in a month!’”

Pharmacist: “Well, what you should have said is, ‘Yeah, but I have ninety Xanax back here and you don’t.’”

No Pain For This Refill
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 20, 2016
(I work as a pharmacy technician. A lady needs her medication refilled but has no refills left. I offer to call the doctor for her but she is mad that we won’t just fill her prescription then and there. Her medication is used for blood pressure.)

Customer: “Since you won’t give me my medication, can I just take this in the meantime?” *holds up aspirin*

Me: “Uhm… no. Aspirin is not the same as your [blood pressure medication].”

Customer: “Why? It’s the same size and color as my medication.”

Sick Of Your Parenting Assumptions
PHARMACY | WORKING | JANUARY 4, 2016
(I’m a 23-year-old woman who moved away from home over four years ago. I have no significant other or kids, so I’m only fending for myself. Because I rarely get sick, I have never gotten around to buying a thermometer. Finally I do catch a cold, so I decide to pick one up. I’m not feeling entirely clearheaded because of my cold.)

Pharmacy Assistant: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Me: “Hi! I’m looking for a thermometer. Where can I find them?”

Pharmacy Assistant: “They’re here.” *shows me a baby thermometer* “This one is really good if your kids are really young, because it has a soft tip and it gives results fast.” *shows me two more baby thermometers* “These are also good for kids.”

(A long silence follows, as I try to figure out in my woozy head why I should be using it on kids, not myself.)

Pharmacy Assistant: “Oh, and here’s our basic model. But those are all really good for kids!” *looks at me expectantly*

(Feeling like a bad mother to my non-existent children, I picked up the basic model and thanked her. Don’t adults take their own temperature any more?)

Not Thinking Inside The Box
PHARMACY | WORKING | NOVEMBER 26, 2015
(My wife has a bad eye infection and after a trip to the doctor, we take her prescription for antibiotic eye-drops to a pharmacy to be filled. They tell us we can pick it up in an hour. A little more than an hour later I go back to pick it up.)

Me: “Hi, I’m picking up a prescription for [Wife].”

Pharmacist: “We don’t seem to have that here. When did you drop it off?”

Me: “About an hour ago.”

Pharmacist: “Oh, here’s the record… This won’t be ready for three days. We don’t have it here.”

Me: “What? She has an infection and needs her medicine now, not three days from now. Why didn’t you tell us it would take so long when we dropped it off so we could go to another pharmacy?”

Pharmacist: “Well, we just got the shipment in today, but we haven’t opened the boxes yet to take out the medicine.”

Me: “It takes three days to open a box?”

Pharmacist: “Well, I guess if you want to wait 10 or 15 minutes, I can get it for you.”

Me: “…Yes. Do that, please.”

Pharmacist: *sighing* “Fine, I’ll go get it. I hate having to open the boxes.”

Didn’t See The Smoke Signals, Part 2
PHARMACY, RETAIL | RIGHT | MARCH 12, 2016
(I work in the front end of a pharmacy retailer that recently stopped selling cigarettes in an effort to promote customer health. It’s been almost two years, but exchanges like this still happen regularly.)

Customer: “Hi, I’ll have a carton of [Brand] cigarettes.”

(I look behind me to where the cigarettes used to be stored, where there is now a large sign with a crossed out cigarette and a slogan that reads: “Quitting starts here.”)

Customer: “…You don’t sell cigarettes, do you?”

Needs Change And A Change Of Cashier
PHARMACY | WORKING | FEBRUARY 19, 2016
(My mom has gone to a well-known pharmacy for a prescription. Her co-pay is $74 dollars. She’s given the cashier four twenties.)

Cashier: “Ma’am, I need another twenty.”

Mom: “No. I gave enough.”

Cashier: “No, I need another twenty.”

(After minutes of bickering the cashier calls her manager over.)

Cashier: “This woman refuses to pay for her medication.”

Mom: “What? I gave her enough money.”

Cashier: “No, you owe me another twenty!”

(The cashier is flustered by this point and giving my mom an evil look.)

Manager: “Let me count this.”

(He counts the twenties to find that my mom is indeed correct.)

Manager: “Uh, actually this woman needs $6 back.”

(The cashier looks at him and smiles.)

Cashier: “Oh, my math is simply awful.”

(My mom never got an apology.)