View Full Version : Healthcare stories
florida80
10-09-2019, 20:34
(Regrettably, our local university is the main reason that county STD rates are the second-highest in the state (the highest-ranking county is home to a naval base). Outbreaks are common and rather a grim joke with local healthcare providers. The county has purchased a new emergency radio system and one of their officers has arrived to train our staff on how to use the equipment.)
https://i.imgur.com/qjCoBbZ.gif
Instructor: “The great thing about this system is that it is linked to over two hundred towers, state-wide. This means that if you need to, you can communicate not only throughout the county, but with other jurisdictions as well. For example; let’s say you have to set up some kind of emergency clinic at the University for… I don’t know, what’s an epidemic that the students might experience there?”
Me: *without thinking* “Probably chlamydia.”
(My boss shushed me, but our director of nursing almost fell off her chair from laughing so hard.)
florida80
10-09-2019, 20:35
Who Prescribed Some Madness?
England, Pharmacy, Reading, UK | Healthy | January 4, 2018
(We have a new member of staff at the pharmacy and we’ve got a number of regulars who come in to get their weekly medications, often quite a few items. This employee somehow gets it into her head that anyone with a weekly prescription is a drug abuser. One of our regulars is on a lot of different pain medications.)
Regular: “Good morning! I’m here to pick up my prescriptions. My name is [Regular].”
(The new staff member goes out to the back of the store and comes back out a few minutes later.)
New Staff: “No, there isn’t anything.”
Regular: “I pick this up every week, and I know I have at least three months’ worth of repeats for all these from the doctor.”
New Staff: “No. No, we have nothing.”
Regular: *spotting our pharmacist who knows her very well* “Hi, [Pharmacist]! Got my weekly meds?”
Pharmacist: “Oh, yeah. I did them yesterday—”
New Staff: “No! No, you didn’t. We have nothing!” *to Regular* “You need to leave; we have nothing for you!”
Pharmacist: “Don’t be daft. I’ll go fetch them.” *heads to the back and comes out with a large bag* “Can I just check your address and date of birth?”
Regular: *gives details*
Pharmacist: “Yup, here you go. See you next week!”
New Staff: “I told her we had nothing! Why did you make me look like a liar?!”
Pharmacist: “Because you were lying? [Regular] comes in every week and I always have her meds done.”
New Staff: “I saw what she’s on. She’s a f****** druggie. You shouldn’t enable these people.”
Regular: “I beg your pardon?”
Pharmacist: “Okay, we do not treat customers like that. Whatever personal views you have on certain medications, you leave those views at home.”
New Staff: “She’s a druggie. Why would anyone else need [strong pain medication]?”
Regular: “Because half my lower spine was smashed in an accident and I live in constant, agonising pain?”
New Staff: “Shut up, druggie.”
Pharmacist: “Right. That’s it. Go home.”
(She was fired that day, and officially cautioned by the police when for two weeks afterward she kept hanging around the pharmacy entrance waiting for our regular customer so she could yell at them some more. We know this because she told EVERY other customer entering our store. Luckily, our regular has a good sense of humour and just laughed off the whole episode
florida80
10-09-2019, 20:36
This Diagnosis Is Heading For A Fall
Colorado, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | January 3, 2018
(I am a below-the-knee amputee and have to visit my doctors quite frequently, so it gets a little funny when they ask their questions.)
Nurse: “Do you have a fear of falling?”
Me: *looks at her, looks at missing leg* “Um, yes.”
Nurse: “Do you have trouble walking?”
Me: “Um… That would also be a yes.”
(Somehow it never occurs to them that I am missing my leg, yet the information is right in front of them.)
florida80
10-09-2019, 20:36
Should Give Them Paws For Thought
Massachusetts, USA, Vet | Healthy | January 3, 2018
(I work at the front desk of a veterinary hospital. The Saturday right before Thanksgiving, a man approaches me.)
Me: “How can I help you today, sir?”
Customer: “Yeah, I need new food for my cat.” *he hands me an old prescription diet card that looks to have expired months ago*
Me: “Okay. Are you a client of ours or do you have an outside vet?”
Customer: “Outside vet.”
Me: “Did you bring a note from your vet to renew the prescription?”
Customer: “No, I didn’t.”
Me: *after a second, I look up his pet in our system* “Well, we have their phone number on file. Let me just give them a ring and confirm.”
(After a minute or so, I get a message saying that the other hospital is closed for the day.)
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t renew this prescription without authorization from your vet.”
Customer: *visibly annoyed* “You seriously can’t help me with this?”
Me: “I’m sorry.”
Customer: “I guess my cat will just have to starve then.”
Me: “I guess. Or you could feed it regular food.”
florida80
10-09-2019, 20:37
At A Hair-Loss For Words
Finland, Health & Body, Pharmacy | Healthy | January 3, 2018
(The men in my family tend to start suffering from hair loss in their mid-20s, and mine seems to have started, so I go to a nearby pharmacy to buy certain shampoo recommended by my stepfather. Note that I have grown my hair for a few years and it’s currently some 18 to 20 inches long.)
Employee: “Hello, can I help you with anything?”
Me: “Yes, I was looking for certain shampoo but don’t remember the name of the product.”
Employee: “What kind of shampoo? For dry hair, or–”
Me: “For hair loss.”
Employee: *goes silent and stares at my long hair, then grabs a bottle off a shelf* “Well, we have this one.”
Me: “That’s the product; thank you!”
(I only realized what had happened after I got back home.)
florida80
10-09-2019, 20:43
Students Learning A Hard Lesson In Patients
Canada, Hospital, New Brunswick | Healthy | January 2, 2018
(I am a student nurse doing a placement in a teaching hospital. As it is a teaching hospital, patients are told that they may have a student and an RN caring for them at some point in their stay, and usually they are okay with that as they get more attention. I go in to introduce myself at the start of my shift.)
Me: “Hi, my name is [My Name] and I am a student nurse with [University]. I am working with [RN] today, so you’ll see us both in and out of your room tonight. Is there anything I can get you?”
Patient: “You’re a student? That means you don’t know what you’re doing! You’re going to mess something up and I’m going to die!”
Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you that I do know what I am doing; this is my fifth week on this unit and I have completed four other placements in different areas of the hospital already. I also have my instructor and [RN] to assist me if I am unsure of something.”
Patient: “Get me [RN]! I don’t want a student! Get out of my room before you kill me!”
(I went to find my instructor and explained the situation, and after speaking with the RN I was assigned a new patient. I later heard from another nurse on the floor that the first patient told the nurse that she was taking too long to get her a glass of water, and said they really needed to get the students to help out more!)
florida80
10-09-2019, 20:47
Dancing Around The Subject
Clinic, USA | Healthy | January 2, 2018
(Our county health department is holding a special flu vaccination clinic at a local senior center. There are a number of other activities going on in different parts of the building, so I’m staffing the desk, checking in clients and giving directions. A very small, fragile-looking but smartly dressed gentleman walks in, leaning on a cane. He appears to be ninety if he’s a day.)
Me: “Good afternoon, sir; are you here for the flu clinic?”
Gentleman: “No, I’m here for the square dancing class
florida80
10-09-2019, 20:48
Making You Pregnant With Sarcasm
Hospital, Sarcasm, USA | Healthy | January 2, 2018
(For a quite number of days now, I’ve had terrible stomach pains with a fluctuating appetite. I go to the doctor. I’m a virgin.)
Doctor: *after hearing me talk about my stomach problems* “So, it says here on your sheet that you’re not pregnant.”
Me: “Yes.”
Doctor: “Are you sure?”
Me: “Yes.”
Doctor: “Is there a possibility you could be pregnant?”
Me: “No.”
(He makes a face at this. I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m an idiot who can’t accept the fact I could be pregnant. Later on after he runs some tests.)
Doctor: “Well, you’re not pregnant.”
Me: *thinking* “No s***, Sherlock.”
florida80
10-09-2019, 20:49
You’re In Deep Heat Now
Medical Office, Time, UK | Healthy | January 1, 2018
(A woman waddles into the building.)
Woman: “I need to see a doctor.”
Me: “Do you have an appointment?”
Woman: “No, I need to see one now.”
Me: “I’m sorry, emergency appointments ended at 11. I can make you an appointment, however, for next week?”
Woman: “NO! IT HAS TO BE NOW!”
Me: “If it’s an emergency you need to go to A&E. Should i call an ambulance?”
Woman: *jumping on the desk* “I RUBBED ‘DEEP HEAT’ ON MY GARDEN PATCH. IT F****** KILLS!”
Me: “Oh, umm. Like I said, if it’s an emergency, you need to go to A&E.”
(She huffed and waddled out, screaming about how incompetent we all were. I haven’t seen her personally since, but a letter came through from the local hospital for her, with a prescription for something which treats chemical burns. I’m fairly certain Deep Heat wasn’t involved in whatever she was doing.)
florida80
10-09-2019, 20:50
Might Need Brain Surgery, Too
Medical Office, USA | Healthy | January 1, 2018
(My mid-60s father was recently goofing off and pulled a stunt where he rode a luggage cart down a hill and wiped out hard. The injuries are mostly scrapes and bruises but he also has a small break in his wrist. There is lots of back-and-forth over whether he needs to do a re-aligning surgery. He is in the doctor’s office consulting with the surgeon, who he said was barely 30.)
Doctor: “So how did this happen?”
Dad: “You want the real story or a version that makes me look better?”
Doctor: “…how about the real version?”
Dad: *recounts story*
Doctor: “I see. Well, to be honest with you, we don’t like to do these kinds of surgeries on patients over the age of 60 because [reasons].”
Dad: “Well, yes, I’m over that age, but if you’ll recall the story, I was clearly thinking like a 16-year-old.”
Doctor: “That’s a good point. We’ll schedule the surgery for tomorrow morning.”
florida80
10-09-2019, 20:52
Flipping Out Over This
California, Hospital, Los Angeles, USA | Healthy | January 1, 2018
(I accidentally remove most of the tip of my middle finger with a gardening tool and am getting fixed up in the ER.)
Nurse: “There you go. Would you like me to tape your middle finger to the one next to it?”
Me: “Um, no. Why would you?”
Nurse: “Well, sometimes with a injury to the middle finger people ask us to tape an adjacent finger too so that they don’t inadvertently flip other people off.”
Me: “Are you kidding? This is the opportunity I’ve been waiting for!”
florida80
10-09-2019, 20:52
Acerbic Allergic
Alberta, Canada, Medical Office | Healthy | December 31, 2017
(I am 15. In my family, most of the women on my mom’s side have a condition called Restless Leg Syndrome, which is a brutally frustrating tic where your muscles in your thigh and calf feel like they are in spasm, like a small electric shock. It comes randomly, and nothing seems to help it stop once an episode starts; you just have to ride it out. I’ve been dealing with this myself since I was a kid. What my mom thought were growing pains turned out to be RLS. I’ve been referred to a specialist to see what my options are. Part of the process is conducting a nerve path function test. I have small needles pointed into the tips of my fingers, with electrical simulation higher up my arms to track if the signal is flowing properly. The test is uncomfortable to say the least.)
Specialist: “The results seem to be okay for your arms, which is a good indication that your legs would reveal the same.”
Me: “No short circuit, then? Bonus!”
(I am trying to lighten the mood as my mom is stressed at seeing me in such discomfort, and I am trying to take my mind off of it as well.)
Specialist: *stares blankly at me* “Your RLS is likely caused by poor diet and lack of exercise and in many cases, alcohol.”
Me: “Well, geeze, Mom, if you had just laid off the whiskey at bedtime, we wouldn’t be here now!”
Specialist: *blank stare* “In the event we have to do a minor surgery to explore nerve function, is there anything you’re allergic to in terms of medication?”
Me: “Penicillin.”
Specialist: “And what happens when you take it?”
Me: “I get a terrible rash over my stomach and chest and become very sick to my stomach.”
Specialist: “So you’re not allergic to it.”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Specialist: “You’re not allergic to it. You wouldn’t die if it was given to you.”
Me: “Well, no, I guess not but—”
Specialist: “That’s an intolerance. You shouldn’t say you are allergic to penicillin. What if it was required to save your life from an infection?”
Mom: “Well, there are plenty of alternatives out there, I think it’s a semi-common allergy? She’s had to have antibiotics for various infections, and they always seem to find something else.”
Specialist: *to my mom* “Do you have allergies?”
Mom: “Yes, I’m allergic to strawberries.”
Specialist: “And what happens if you eat them?”
Mom: “Well I go into anaphylactic shock very fast.”
Specialist: “THAT, is an allergy. I’m not writing on your chart that you’re allergic to penicillin. See the front reception to re-book when you’re ready.”
(He promptly leaves, with my mom and I sitting in stunned silence. I suppose he was right — I wouldn’t die if I was given penicillin in an emergency, but the marvel’s of modern medicine mean I don’t have to when there are so many alternatives. I am careful to tell other doctors now, that it’s not a life threatening allergy, but to avoid it if possible!)
florida80
10-09-2019, 20:53
It Takes More Than Money To Clear A Bill, Part 2
Insurance, Nebraska, Non-Dialogue, Omaha, USA | Healthy | December 30, 2017
Several years ago, I started to receive bills at my home in Nebraska, from an insurance agency on a policy that I no longer had, denying payment for psychiatric care/services. When I got the first bill, I called the number listed for the practice — in North Carolina. It turns out that they had a patient with the same name, down to the middle initial, and the same birthday. The doctor’s office agreed that I was not their patient, but said that it was up to the insurance carrier to sort out.
Three weeks after I contacted the insurance company letting them know I was not the right person, I got a letter in the mail telling me that according to their records, I *was* the right person, and could I please pay the bill. So I contacted them again. I was assured that it would be straightened out.
Sure enough, I got another letter in the mail from the insurance company telling me that their “investigation” is complete, and that I am the “right” person after all, in spite of living half-way across the country.
This back and forth with the insurance company went on for SIX MONTHS, each time the insurance people coming back telling me that I had made these appointments for psychiatric care, and increasingly nasty demands for payment.
Finally, I contacted a college buddy who was a lawyer for [Insurance Company], where upon he taught me the magic words: Violation of HIPAA.
Finally after nearly seven months, the magic words did the trick. I later found out that the insurance billing department was looking up patient information by name and birth date instead of social security number, and that my name was apparently the first one listed, in spite of the fact that my policy had been cancelled over four years prior due to a job change.
florida80
10-09-2019, 20:54
The Solution Is As Clear As Glass
England, Manchester, Optometrist/Optician, UK | Healthy | December 29, 2017
(I need to get new spectacles, so I get assessed. During the sight test, the optometrist notices I have the start of macular degeneration in one eye, tells me it isn’t serious at the moment, but warns me to watch out for lines appearing wavy when they should be straight. She gives me a leaflet to put on my fridge door, so that I’ll look at it several times a day and be aware of the need to check. She also instructs me to come straight back for another test if anything changes. This all freaks me out a bit because I’ve never heard of macular degeneration, so I dutifully put the leaflet on my fridge door and inspect that thing every time I go in the fridge, for about a month. I start noticing the sight in my left eye is quite blurry. So, off I trot back to the optometrist. I explain everything to the receptionist, then the optometrist, a different one to my first visit. He sight-checks me then leaves the room for a few minutes. He comes back in and asks if I mind him checking again. I don’t mind, but by now I’m sweating and my imagination’s working overtime. He does the same tests and asks me to explain again what the problem is.)
Me: “Look. I cover up my right eye…” *demonstrates* “… and you’re blurry. I cover up my left eye instead…” *demonstrates* “… and you’re not blurry.”
Optometrist: “Well, Mrs [My Name], both sight tests we’ve conducted today show no changes to the other test we did recently.”
Me: “Seriously? But I’ve definitely got strange vision in my left eye? How is that, if the test results are the same? Look, doctor, if it’s psychosomatic, tell me. If you think I’m dreaming it up because I’m so worried about losing my sight and I need a psychiatrist, just tell me straight. I really can handle it.”
(By this time, I’m near tears. I don’t know whether I’m losing my sight or my marbles.)
Optometrist: “Show me again.”
(Demonstrates covering up the eyes, etc.)
Optometrist: “I… might be a bit off course here but… did we provide your glasses?”
Me: “Of course, yes.”
Optometrist: “It looks like the common denominator is your glasses. Let’s get them realigned and see.”
(Aaaand I felt a fool. Mind you, so should they, too. My ‘demonstrations ’ of blurry vs normal sight were done wearing my specs. The sight tests had been done WITHOUT my specs. It turned out there was a minuscule adjustment needed for the left lens. He brought my specs back and the blurred vision was gone. At least I know I haven’t lost my marbles yet. Not about that, at least
florida80
10-09-2019, 20:54
Your Blood Or Your Wallet
Hospital, USA | Healthy | December 29, 2017
(The phlebotomists in our blood draw station are completely tired of the vampire jokes. They’re just overused. But not wanting to be jerks, and also realizing that the joke is a way for some people to deal with their discomfort over blood draws, our phlebotomists mostly politely laugh. One of our phlebotomists found a way to do one better.)
Patient: “Is this where the vampires are?”
Phlebotomist: “Nah. They’re all down in billing. You here for a blood draw?”
florida80
10-09-2019, 20:55
Taking Regular Checkups To The Next Level
Family & Kids, Medical Office, Pennsylvania, USA | Healthy | December 29, 2017
(We’ve had a horrific week. My toddler came down with chicken pox, then an ear infection. My husband had an accident, causing first, second, and third degree burns all over one hand. I am also seven-months pregnant, and joke that the only thing that HASN’T gone wrong is my going into premature labor.)
Monday Morning: Trip to doctor’s office to confirm chicken pox.
Monday Afternoon: Trip to doctor’s office. We went there instead of the ER for the burn.
Tuesday Morning: Recheck on nasty burn.
Tuesday Afternoon: ‘Well Baby’ check for me.
Thursday Morning: Toddler earache visit.
(We walk into the examination room. A few minutes later, our doctor walks in.)
Doctor: “It’s the [Our Last Name]s! My favorite family!”
florida80
10-09-2019, 21:00
There’s A Slight Baby Bump In That Diagnosis
Medical Office, UK | Healthy | December 28, 2017
(I am a female in my late 20s. I was in a serious car accident after which some of my organs were damaged and some had to be removed. As a result I am on a cocktail of drugs to keep me functioning. I’ve gone to the doctor’s office as I have been suffering from dizzy spells and sickness, which could be problems with my current medication. I don’t get my usual doctor but this doctor — who is male — seems fairly friendly. He’s asking me questions about what I’m experiencing and is making notes. He has asked about my medication as well, which I’ve told him about, including my hormone replacement ones, but doesn’t ask me why and I don’t volunteer that information.)
Me: “Will I need to come back for tests?”
Doctor: “You won’t. I know what’s wrong”
Me: *somewhat glad* “Oh, really? Is it [Medication Brand]? I was warned—”
Doctor: *shaking his head but smiling warmly* “Oh, no, no, no. Nothing serious. In fact quite a happy diagnosis! You’re pregnant!”
(There’s a pause, whilst he grins at me and I feel myself getting irritated.)
Me: “That’s impossible.”
(He gives me a funny look and gets snappy.)
Doctor: “You’re using something that boosts probability to get pregnant, and you’re shocked. Birth control methods like condoms aren’t 100%, and if you didn’t want to get pregnant I’d suggest you got a coil, which is a bit late now.”
Me: “Did you even look at my notes?”
Doctor: “I don’t need to look to know what this is. Dizziness and sickness are common during early pregnancy.”
Me: “If you did, you’ll see the hormone therapy is because I no longer have my reproductive system.”
(He goes very quiet and turns to his computer.)
Doctor: “There’s a slot open in a fortnight for blood draw. Same time but on Wednesday. Is that okay?”
Me: “Fine.”
(I didn’t get an apology from him. The tests did show that one of my medications is thinning my blood, so with a few tweaks I was feeling okay again. I didn’t get, though, why doctors have full notes but don’t consult them before making a diagnosis. I never wanted kids so I was more annoyed than anything but some would have been devastated with that gaff.)
florida80
10-09-2019, 21:00
Building A Wall Between Them And Common Sense
Insurance, Minnesota, Politics, USA | Healthy | December 28, 2017
(I work for an insurance nurse-line helping people with injury and illness questions. We are required by HIPAA to fully verify a member before discussing any specific issues or giving specific information on their health plan. There have been a number of people who object to HIPAA law, but this one takes the cake. The member in question doesn’t have her ID card on her and doesn’t want to use alternative methods to verify who she is.)
Member: “But I didn’t know I’d need to identify myself. Why can’t you just give me the information I need?”
Me: “Federal privacy law, called HIPAA, does not allow us to discuss or give out information to unauthorized people.”
Member: “But that’s a dumb law and President Trump doesn’t allow dumb laws, so you need to give me the information I asked for!”
florida80
10-09-2019, 21:01
Have A Bad Feeling About This
Maryland, Medical Office, Non-Dialogue, USA | Healthy | December 28, 2017
I have a regular gynecologist who I’ve been seeing for several years. Usually before she begins the exam, she’ll touch the speculum to my thigh, and move it up my leg, saying ‘Feel this, feel this,’ to get me used to the feel and temperature before she begins the exam. Today, she’s asked me if it’s all right if an intern does my exam while she supervises, and I agree.
The intern is super nervous, and admits to me that I’m the first patient today that’s agreed to it. When she begins the exam, she picks up the speculum and starts tapping it to the side of my knee. “Um, so… You’ll feel this…”
My doctor and I both burst out laughing, and my doctor had to correct her. I hope I didn’t break her confidence!
florida80
10-09-2019, 21:01
Addicted To This Routine
Scotland, Supermarket, UK | Healthy | December 27, 2017
(Our supermarket has a resident addict. Somewhere in there is a nice guy who made some very bad decisions some time ago. He is permanently off his face on whatever he can get his hands on. Some variant on this conversation takes place at least daily:)
Member Of Staff: “Right, [Addict], you’ll need to go. You’re barred, remember?”
Addict: “Am I? Why?”
Member Of Staff: “Because you keep trying to nick stuff.”
Addict: “Well, yes, I do, but I don’t remember being barred for it.”
Member Of Staff: “You were off your face at the time, so you probably wouldn’t, but you are. Trust me.”
Addict: “Well, if you say so. Will I remember this conversation tomorrow?”
Member Of Staff: “Probably not.”
Addict: “Right, well. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.” *leaves*
florida80
10-09-2019, 21:02
Ignoring The Sticking Point
Hospital, Montana, USA | Healthy | December 27, 2017
(My husband has sliced his thumb open at work and after an hour of convincing him, I manage to get him into the ER. The doctor looks at it and determines it needs stitches, plus he needs a tetanus booster, and so the nurse gets the shot ready. This happens with me and [Nurse #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] talking to him on his right, and [Nurse #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] on his left prepping for the injection.)
Husband: “Okay, just… I don’t know… Let me get a deep breath before you inject me.”
Nurse #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Are you afraid of needles? It’ll be a quick pinch and done, way less than slicing your thumb open.”
Me: “Exactly. It’s so quick. Remember all of the times you donated plasma? The needle is smaller and you barely feel it.”
(In the meantime, [Nurse #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] has prepped him and has uncapped the needle. She gives us a little nod and sticks him while we continue talking.)
Husband: “I know; it’s just irrational and my thumb hurts and it’s just overwhelming!”
Nurse #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “You used to give plasma? That’s awesome! What do they use, like 15 gauge?”
(The other nurse is done now and cleaning up.)
Me: “No, 12. The needles are HUGE!”
Nurse #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Oh, geez. Well these are only 25 gauge, so super tiny compared to what you’re used to.”
Husband: “Yeah. I suppose. It wasn’t so bad, I just hated that cold feeling when they put the blood back into you.” *deep breath before turning to [Nurse #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ]* “Okay, I should be good now. Go ahead.”
Nurse #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Dude, I’ve been done for like a minute now. You did fine.”
florida80
10-09-2019, 21:02
To Call It A Scar Is A Bit Of A Stretch
Hospital, Massachusetts, USA | Healthy | December 27, 2017
(I have dislocated my shoulder.)
Doctor: *looking at a mark on my shoulder* “I see you’ve previously had your shoulder operated on.”
Me: “No.”
Doctor: “Yes, there’s the surgical scar right there.”
Me: “No, it’s a stretch mark.”
Doctor: “No, it’s a surgical scar.”
Me: “Unless somebody kidnapped me, drugged me, then operated on me while I was unconscious, I think I would remember surgery.”
Doctor: “…”
(A few years later, I was being examined by a dermatologist, and I told him the story. He said that it did indeed look like a surgical scar, and would I care to come by the hospital during rounds so he could fool his interns?)
florida80
10-09-2019, 21:03
If I Leave It’s Your Floss
Dentist, Maryland, USA | Healthy | December 26, 2017
(I am at the same dentist I’ve been going to for the past five years without issue. I brush my teeth twice a day and frequently use dental floss wands. While I do take really good care of my dental hygiene, my teeth aren’t bright white, as whitening toothpaste hurts my sensitive teeth. However, I’ve gotten nothing but glowing reviews from my dental hygienists and dentists the past few years. I haven’t even had a cavity since I was in elementary school. As the dental hygienist is looking at my teeth, she asks me various questions about my dental hygiene.)
Hygienist: “How often do you brush your teeth?”
Me: “Twice daily.”
Hygienist: “Oh, good! Do you floss?”
Me: “I don’t use dental floss, but I use floss wands.”
Hygienist: “Oh, that counts! Good on you for using those.”
(The dentist stops by to do his inspection of my mouth. I have never seen this dentist before, but I’m not worried, since I’ve had nothing but good experiences with this dental practice. It is an uneventful few minutes, until he jabs me unnecessarily hard in one of my back molars with his sharp tool. Keep in mind, I’ve been going to the dentist twice a year for 25 years, so I’m used to the mild pains of getting my teeth inspected and cleaned. This pain is far out of the ordinary and almost feels deliberately hard. I have never had a dental professional cause that kind of pain in my mouth, even from cavities.)
Me: “Ow!”
(I begin to taste blood, which has me really concerned.)
Me: “I taste blood.”
(I say this with his tools still in my mouth, as he has not stopped his inspection at all.)
Dentist: “Well, that wouldn’t have happened if you actually flossed. See, this is why flossing is so important.”
Me: “I do floss.”
(Again, I mumble, as his tools are still in my mouth and I don’t want to be hurt again. He then finishes his inspection, stands up, and quickly speaks to the dental hygienist. While this is happening, I sit up to check on my tooth. I reach into my mouth and pull out a finger with blood on it.)
Dentist: “Schedule a follow-up appointment in one month, due to her poor flossing habits. It would seem she’s caused herself extremely sensitive teeth and gums. She’ll have permanent dental damage if she doesn’t start taking better care of her teeth.”
(The dentist then walks away, leaving me completely speechless.)
Hygienist: “I’m so sorry about that, honey. Let me get you some cotton balls for that blood. I’ll clean that up and try to finish your teeth cleaning.”
Me: *as I’m fighting back tears* “I swear, I do floss! I even have a pack of floss wands in my purse right over there!”
Hygienist: “I’m so sorry, sweetie. You’re fine; I promise. I didn’t see any inflammation or signs of apparent sensitivity. You also didn’t react to my inspection at all, so I don’t think you have overly sensitive teeth from poor dental care. Again, I’m so sorry. He’s the head dentist’s son, and he’s right out of dental school. He’s only temporarily hired until he finds a job at another dental practice. From what we’ve seen so far, he likes to give an excuse why a patient needs an immediate follow-up appointment so he can try to make more money through more appointments. His father has promised that he won’t be here much longer. I’m so sorry you were here on a day that he was scheduled to fill in for his father.”
(The nurse gave me an over-packed goodie bag with stickers, a new toothbrush, three new toothpastes, a small toy, and a new set of floss wands. She also continued to apologize many more times. She told me I wouldn’t need to come in again until my next dental check-up in six months, when she assured me the dentist’s son wouldn’t be employed there anymore. I’ve never had an issue with this dental practice, but if he’s still there when I come back in six months, I’ll be finding a new dentist.)
florida80
10-09-2019, 21:03
When Your Doctor Is Gravely Concerned
British Columbia, Canada, Medical Office | Healthy | December 26, 2017
(My GP has referred me to a dermatologist in the nearest large city because of a rash on my hands. A couple of months later, I’m in his office for a regular check-up.)
Doctor: “Did that dermatologist ever get in touch with you?”
Me: “Not a word.”
Doctor: “Maybe you had better call her. Here, I’ll look up her phone number.” *fiddles with his computer for a bit* “Oh, dear, I just found her obituary.”
Me: “I guess that explains why she never contacted me.”
Doctor: “But doesn’t it make you feel good to know you’re doing better than your doctor?”
florida80
10-09-2019, 21:04
Obviously Not Stressing It Enough
Oregon, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | December 26, 2017
(My doctor has prescribed me a four-month supply of a new medicine, to see if it will help with my migraines. I get it filled for the first two months at my local pharmacy without a problem, but the third month I am told I have to call my insurance to sort out a problem. After fighting my way through the automated system and identifying myself:)
Me: “My pharmacy told me that I need to call you about one of my meds.”
Operator: “Yes, it looks like that has been flagged as a ‘maintenance medication’ in our system, so it can only be filled at a regular pharmacy twice. After that it needs to be filled as a three-month supply via mail order.”
(This is news to me, but then again, it is a new insurance plan, so I am not that familiar with it.)
Me: “Okay, but I only have two more months on this medication; my doctor just gave me a four-month script to see if it works for me.”
Operator: “Yes, you just need to get set up on our online system to get it in a three-month supply.”
Me: “That’s the problem: I don’t have three months left on it. Can I get a two-month supply?”
Operator: No, it has to be a three-month supply because it is a ‘maintenance medication.'”
Me: “But I only have two more months on this prescription; it’s a trial to see if it works.”
Operator: “That’s fine; just get set up on our online system and you can get a three-month supply from now on.”
Me: “No, I can’t. I probably won’t be on this that long, and my prescription is only for two more months. Are you saying I need to go to my doctor and get a new three-month prescription in order to fill my last two months?”
Operator: “No, you keep the same prescription; just order a three-month supply online. Do you need the website address?”
Me: “No, I think I need a new prescription, because mine is only for another two months.”
Operator: “No, it must be three months.”
Me: “So, I need to get a new prescription from my doctor for three-months’ worth, or stop taking it now?”
Operator: “No, just enter your prescription online and select ‘three-month supply.'”
Me: “But I don’t have three months left on this medication.”
Operator: *sighs loudly* “I can give you a one-time exception to pick up this month from your pharmacy, but after that you really need to start getting it in a three-month supply via mail order.”
(I decided three months would have to be enough of a trial on that medication; it wasn’t working anyway, and that phone call to get more definitely triggered a stress migraine.)
florida80
10-09-2019, 21:04
The Tale Is In The Yelling
Alabama, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | December 25, 2017
(I’m at a local pharmacy. Twenty minutes ago I dropped off a prescription and now I am picking it up.)
Pharmacist: “Yes, sir?”
Me: “Prescription for [My Name]?”
Pharmacist: “It’s not ready yet, but it should be in just a few minutes.”
Me: “Sure, that’s fine.”
(I go and sit down in the waiting area. The pharmacist walks over to another employee and whispers something to her, which I happen to overhear:)
Pharmacist: “Can you believe it? He actually didn’t yell at me!”
florida80
10-09-2019, 21:05
About To Be (Dis)Appointed
Hospital, Maine, USA | Healthy | December 25, 2017
(I do appointment scheduling for the hospital. The following takes place on a daily basis with different patients.)
Patient: “I need to reschedule my appointment for next week.”
(I take their name and date of birth, and I look up the appointment.)
Me: “Okay, so, the only appointment I have in June is for the 18th at 7:30 am; then I am going into the middle of July.”
Patient: “Oh, no! I can’t wait that long; do you have anything Tuesday?”
Me: “No, I’m sorry. The only opening I have is June 18th.”
Patient: “How about Wednesday?”
Me: “No. Like I said, the only opening I have in June is the 18th; then I am going into July.”
(This goes on a few more times.)
Patient: “Okay, I will just take June 18th. You don’t have anything a little later in the day, though, do you?”
florida80
10-09-2019, 21:05
A Sinus Of The Times
Hospital, Lafayette, Louisiana, USA | Healthy | December 25, 2017
(I suffer from chronic sinus infections, having experienced ear infections with regularity since I was a toddler. However, the word “suffer” is actually quite a stretch. I’m chatting about it with the doctor checking me out; who initially doesn’t seem convinced anything is wrong.)
Me: “They never really bothered me, though. I was in for a check-up when I was two, and the doctor kept asking my mom if I’d been fussy, crying, sleeping badly, rubbing at my ears or anything. She said I’d been fine and asked why I’d be doing anything like that, and the doctor said I had the worst ear infection he’d EVER seen!”
Doctor: *giving me an are-you-serious look* “You have the worst sinus infection I’ve ever seen.”
Me: *cheerfully* “Told ya!”
florida80
10-09-2019, 21:06
Choking On All That ‘Drama’
Canada, Dentist, Ontario | Healthy | December 24, 2017
(I’ve never liked going to the dentist, but this incident really made me hate it more than usual. It’s just a normal annual teeth cleaning, uncomfortable but bearable, but when the hygienist was using the polish, a chunk of it broke off and went down my throat. I started choking and the hygienist had to stop the cleaning for a moment to let me clear my airway.)
Hygienist: “Quit being such a drama queen.”
(I was furious, and made sure to tell my mom about it when I was done. I don’t know if she told the dentist about what happened, but I never saw that hygienist again.)
florida80
10-09-2019, 21:06
Hospital, USA, Washington | Healthy | December 23, 2017
(After our son is born:)
Nurse: *to my wife* “And I’m just confirming that the baby is covered by your insurance for at least 21 days?”
Wife: “Yes, that’s correct.”
(Later:)
Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Hi, Mom & Dad! Congratulations! I’m [Doctor] and just here to look over the little guy. Oh, he’s a cutie!” *examines the baby for five minutes* “Well, everything looks good. Congratulations again!”
(Even later:)
Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Hello! I’m [Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ]. I’m here to examine [something else] with your son. Congratulations, by the way! Oh, he’s a handsome guy!” *examines baby for five minutes* “Well, everything looks good. He seems to be doing great!”
(Later still:)
Doctor #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “He’s doing great, but his levels aren’t quite where we would really like them to be. I’m going to keep you guys here for another night to monitor him.”
(Months later we start seeing bills from pediatricians whose names we didn’t recognize at all for “neonatal exam” and other odd things. Two years later our daughter is born in the same hospital.)
Nurse: *to my wife* “And I’m just confirming that the baby is covered by your insurance for at least 21 days?”
Wife: “No, I’m on a self-funded plan so that isn’t the case. We’ll be putting her on the state-based Medicaid plan with her brother and coverage will be retroactive to her birthday.”
(Later, as in less than 24 hours after the birth:)
Nurse: “Looks like you guys get to go home today! Just so you know, her levels aren’t quite where we would want them to be so you’ll need to set up an appointment with your primary care pediatrician to have her checked within the next day. Congratulations again!”
(The next day at our pediatrician’s office:)
Pediatrician: “Why in the world would they discharge you with her levels like this? This is very concerning to me. She needed another night in the hospital. Did any pediatricians at the hospital look at her?”
Wife: “Just one. Weird, because last time we saw like four or five; they’d just pop in and we’d never see them again.”
Pediatrician: “These numbers are not good. We need to get her to the ER today.”
(Off to the ER (at a different hospital) and our new-born daughter had to stay the night for some urgent treatment. She’s fine now but the lesson is learned that we mention Medicaid to the hospital with extreme caution.)
florida80
10-10-2019, 23:08
Overstayed Your Medicaid
Hospital, USA, Washington | Healthy | December 23, 2017
(After our son is born:)
Nurse: *to my wife* “And I’m just confirming that the baby is covered by your insurance for at least 21 days?”
Wife: “Yes, that’s correct.”
(Later:)
Doctor #1: “Hi, Mom & Dad! Congratulations! I’m [Doctor] and just here to look over the little guy. Oh, he’s a cutie!” *examines the baby for five minutes* “Well, everything looks good. Congratulations again!”
(Even later:)
Doctor #2: “Hello! I’m [Doctor #2]. I’m here to examine [something else] with your son. Congratulations, by the way! Oh, he’s a handsome guy!” *examines baby for five minutes* “Well, everything looks good. He seems to be doing great!”
(Later still:)
Doctor #3: “He’s doing great, but his levels aren’t quite where we would really like them to be. I’m going to keep you guys here for another night to monitor him.”
(Months later we start seeing bills from pediatricians whose names we didn’t recognize at all for “neonatal exam” and other odd things. Two years later our daughter is born in the same hospital.)
Nurse: *to my wife* “And I’m just confirming that the baby is covered by your insurance for at least 21 days?”
Wife: “No, I’m on a self-funded plan so that isn’t the case. We’ll be putting her on the state-based Medicaid plan with her brother and coverage will be retroactive to her birthday.”
(Later, as in less than 24 hours after the birth:)
Nurse: “Looks like you guys get to go home today! Just so you know, her levels aren’t quite where we would want them to be so you’ll need to set up an appointment with your primary care pediatrician to have her checked within the next day. Congratulations again!”
(The next day at our pediatrician’s office:)
Pediatrician: “Why in the world would they discharge you with her levels like this? This is very concerning to me. She needed another night in the hospital. Did any pediatricians at the hospital look at her?”
Wife: “Just one. Weird, because last time we saw like four or five; they’d just pop in and we’d never see them again.”
Pediatrician: “These numbers are not good. We need to get her to the ER today.”
(Off to the ER (at a different hospital) and our new-born daughter had to stay the night for some urgent treatment. She’s fine now but the lesson is learned that we mention Medicaid to the hospital with extreme caution.)
florida80
10-10-2019, 23:08
Unhealthy Expectations
Crazy Requests, Louisiana, Office, USA | Healthy | December 22, 2017
(I work in home health and we get calls like this a lot surprisingly:)
Me: “Thank you for calling [Agency]. This is [My Name]; how may I help you?”
Caller: “Hi, I’m a nurse, and my [family member] needs care, but they only want me to take care of them. Is there any way we could go through you and have only me take care of them?”
Me: “Yes, if you fill out an application and we hire you. But you would have to see more patients in a week than just your [family member].”
Caller: “Oh, no, I just want to take care of [family member] and no one else. I have a job already. I would just need to be paid for my [family member]. How would they be able to request me after being admitted to your agency?”
Me: “The only way is to be hired here to see patients.”
Caller: “But I have a job already; I don’t need to be hired. And I can’t see other patients, only my [family member].”
Me: “So you want to use our facility, our resources and supplies, see no one else, AND you want us to pay you?”
Caller: “Yes, exactly.”
Me: “Sorry, we don’t do that here. Try [Other Home Health Agency].”
(No other home health agency does that either.)
florida80
10-10-2019, 23:09
This Service Is Lumpy At Best
Arkansas, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | December 22, 2017
(Over the last two years I’ve had two breast lumps, which were both biopsied, and have been suffering pain, from what I suspect is a third, over the last 5 months. The pain used to only bother me when I tried to wear a bra with an underwire, but over the last 2 months it has gotten to the point where it just hurts all the time. My primary care physician does indeed find a lump in the area and has ordered a diagnostic ultrasound of the area, which thankfully I get scheduled within the week.)
Sonographer: *going though the normal medical questions* “Do you smoke?”
Me: “No.”
Sonographer: “Have you ever been pregnant?”
Me: “No.”
Sonographer: “Have you had previous breast surgeries or biopsies?”
Me: “Yes, both on the left. One was in May of 2015 and was excisional, and one just eight months ago and was a fine needle aspiration.”
Sonographer: “Have you ever been pregnant?”
Me: *doubting her listening skills* “…I believe you just asked me that. No, I have never been pregnant.”
Sonographer: “Is there a lump?”
Me: “Yes. [Doctor] found it based on the location of my pain over the last several months.”
Sonographer: “And when was your appointment with her?”
Me: “Last week on the 25th.”
(The sonographer quietly finishes her paperwork and does the ultrasound. After completing the imaging she steps out of the room to speak to the radiologist, which takes approximately 20 minutes. I spend the entire time hoping that this time is merely a cyst and I can have it drained to relieve my pain and be done with it. Finally the sonographer comes back into the room, sans radiologist.)
Sonographer: “So, it’s indicated to be benign. We’re going to schedule a follow up for you in six months.”
Me: *I’m slightly taken aback by both the abruptness and that they apparently expect me to suffer increasing pain for another six months* “Wait, what? Even though I’m in pain and haven’t been able to wear a real bra in several months?”
Sonographer: “We’ll give you a pamphlet on pain management. Do you want to set your appointment up now?”
(By this point I’m both ticked off and nearing tears, as I feel I’m just being dismissed because I’m young, and am not being given any information.)
Me: “Can you at least tell me anything about the spot? What are the dimensions? Is it a cyst like [Doctor] said it might be? Or is it solid? What do the edges look like?”
Sonographer: *looks like I’ve just deeply offended her by asking questions about my own health* “It’s like what you had last time. But it’s teeny tiny. You just have very dense tissue around it so it feels bigger. So do you want to set up your appointment now?”
(After several rounds of asking her the same questions and her not providing the answers in exact terms but pushing for the follow-up appointment, she finally told me that the lump was about 8mm, which wasn’t as large as one of the previous ones, but was not “teeny tiny,” and at least had edges that are the indicator for it being benign. She pushed the pain management pamphlet on me, got my follow-up set up, and practically shoved me out the door. I relayed all my concerns about how little was addressed to my primary doctor, and she at least reviewed my results and gave a referral to a surgeon for me to move forward. The most annoying part? The sonographer apparently put down that I’d only been presenting the issue for a week, which was when I received confirmation of a lump, not that it’d been going on for several months as I’d told her. Listening is an active skill, everyone!)
florida80
10-10-2019, 23:09
Your Reaction Has You In Stitches
Connecticut, Health & Body, Office, USA | Healthy | December 22, 2017
(Due to living through some really messed up stuff, I have an incredibly high pain tolerance, and avoid asking for help if it’s something I can do myself. Combine that with the fact that I am a massive klutz, and you get someone that consistently injures themselves (frequently at work), fixes it as best they can, and just shrugs it off as nothing. I have once again managed to hurt myself, resulting in about a two-inch long gash on my forearm. It’s not too deep, but it needs stitches. I can and have stitched myself up from similar injuries in the past, using sewing needles and fishing line. I am in the middle of doing this, when a coworker I will refer to as “Work Mom” walks into my office.)
Work Mom: “Hey, [My Name], my computer is having iss— WHAT THE H*** ARE YOU DOING?!”
(I do not stop stitching as I speak with her.)
Me: “Oh, I just got a little cut, and am sewing myself back up. I’ll be right as rain in a minute. So what’s going on with your computer?”
Work Mom: “No. No, no, no. How are you not screaming? You are coming with me to the walk-in right now!”
Me: *stops stitching* “I really don’t think that’s necessary. I’ve done this before, and I’ll be fine.”
Work Mom: “I’m calling medical, then you are going to the doctor. You do not have a choice in this, you crazy b****!”
(I give up, as arguing at this point is futile. I walk down the hall to medical, and sit in a chair after speaking to the onsite medical person. As Work Mom’s back is turned, I finish stitching up the cut, and cut the needle free. Work Mom gets permission to take me knowing I won’t go by myself, and we go to the walk-in clinic. We wait for a bit, and get called into a room. The doctor walks in about 10 minutes later.)
Doctor: “So, what’re you here for today?”
Me: “I think it’s a bit of an overrea—”
Work Mom: “This crazy person got a cut, and decided that it would be easiest to stitch it up herself!”
Doctor: “…what? You’re kidding me.”
Me: “No. I’ve done this before, and had no trouble.” *I hold out my arm for the doctor to inspect*
Doctor: “Jesus, woman! Didn’t that hurt?”
Me: “Eh.”
Doctor: “I’ll have to remove this… What did you use?”
Me: “Fishing line.”
Doctor: *mutters something under his breath* “I’ll get the proper tools for this.”
Me: *knowing I will never get another chance to ask this* “So, how’s my stitching?”
Doctor: “What? Did you just really ask me that?”
Me: “Yeah, come on. I’m curious.” *I have a massive s***-eating grin on my face at this point*
Doctor: *mumbles something*
Me: “Sorry, I didn’t catch that?”
Doctor: *exasperated* “You’re stitching is fine, but seriously, don’t do this again!”
florida80
10-10-2019, 23:10
In Closed Quarters
Health & Body, Office, Ohio, USA | Healthy | December 21, 2017
(The entire staff is having an end of the fall quarter meeting in a large conference room. Since it’s flu season, there’s frequently the sound of coughing and sniffling because management made this meeting mandatory and refuses to let anyone call off sick. I’m sitting to the side, and the director has just called the meeting to start when one employee from the very back walks forward, crossing the entire very large room. Everyone falls silent to watch her. She props open one of the doors halfway (which just leads to a hallway) and then walks all the way back to her seat, pass dozens of coworkers, some of which are clearly feverish.)
Employee: “I just HAD to open a door! I couldn’t stand the thought of being stuck inside a closed room with all these sick people! I don’t want to get sick myself!”
(She was sitting next to another coworker who was surrounded by a pile of used tissues. As if opening a door part-way in a giant conference room halts the transmission of viruses and bacteria.)
florida80
10-10-2019, 23:11
A Prescription By Any Other Name
Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | December 21, 2017
(I go to my local pharmacy to drop off a prescription. As most pharmacies are, it is very busy with a full waiting area and they tell me there will be a wait for my medication. I browse the store for a while until I hear my name called over the intercom, and then get back in line to pick up the prescription. An elderly man who is also waiting for a prescription gets up from his chair and approaches me.)
Patient: “Are you Veronica? They just called a Veronica; are you her?”
(They definitely did not just call anyone named Veronica, and my name sounds nothing like Veronica, although they both do end in the letter ‘A.’)
Me: “Uh, no, sir, I’m not Veronica but my prescription is ready.”
Patient: “Well, if you’re not Veronica then your prescription is not ready so get out of line and wait like the rest of us!”
Me: “Sir, they called my name and I am going to pick up my prescription. Even if they didn’t I’m not cutting anyone in line or making anyone else wait longer, so please don’t shout at me.”
(At this point he started telling the whole waiting room that I was not Veronica and I was trying to steal Veronica’s prescription, but he was actually speaking very calmly so no one really paid him any mind. They called me up to the desk and I got my medication, and let them know the man seemed slightly agitated and might need some help. As I was leaving I heard him arguing with the pharmacy technician, saying “But she’s NOT VERONICA!”)
florida80
10-10-2019, 23:11
Not Getting A Good Drug Deal
Medical Office, Scotland, UK | Healthy | December 21, 2017
(I am working as a receptionist in a GP surgery. As part of my job, I have to take orders for and print out repeat prescriptions, as well as note down any special requests to pass on to the doctors. Patients are aware of this and will often try to bypass the 48-hour wait time between ordering and collection by asking me to “just print it,” apparently unaware that I need a doctor to sign it first. On this day, a late-30ish man approaches my desk:)
Patient: “Hi, I need a prescription for [opiate].”
Me: “You usually need a doctor’s appointment for that; do you want me to book you in in two day’s time?”
Patient: “No, I’ve run out. It should be on as a repeat prescription.”
(I’m suspicious, because this drug rarely if ever is put on repeat. Nevertheless, I check his file. Not only is it not down on his repeats, but there is a pop-up note saying DO NOT SUPPLY THIS PATIENT WITH [OPIATE] DUE TO HISTORY OF ABUSE.)
Me: *trying to be tactful* “Well, sir, it looks like the doctor has taken you off of this medication. If you like, I can give you a phone appointment this afternoon?
Patient: *suddenly aggressive* “DO YOU WANT ME TO SUFFER? IS THAT IT?”
Me: “No, sir. I simply can’t give you the prescription without a doctor’s approval.”
Patient: “PRINT IT OUT!”
Me: *refusing to show that I’m feeling intimidated* “I can’t. And even if I could, I’d need a doctor to sign it for me, and they’re all in with patients.”
Patient: “Well, you’d better f****** interrupt one, shouldn’t you, you stupid little b****?”
Me: “No doctor is going to sign this prescription right now. I’m asking you once to stop using abusive language and allow me to try to help, or I will have to ask you to leave.”
Patient: “Well then, you f****** sign it!”
Me: “I’m not a doctor.”
Patient: “Just sign it!”
Me: “You’re asking me to break the law and put my signature to your prescription.”
Patient: “Yes.”
Me: “You want me to put my name to a prescription which, if caught, will land me in jail, cause legal trouble to the doctors here, and probably not even get you the medicine you want?”
Patient: “I NEED MY [OPIATE]!”
Me: “I’m not going to do that. Either take one of the appointments I’ve offered you, or leave.”
Patient: “WELL, MAYBE I’LL F****** MAKE YOU DO IT!”
(Thankful for the plastic barrier between us, I pressed the security button, and he was escorted from the building by two of my other coworkers, cursing the whole time.)
florida80
10-10-2019, 23:12
Whether You’re A Brother Or Whether You’re A Mother You Should Learn CPR
Medical Office, Non-Dialogue, USA, Vancouver | Healthy | December 20, 2017
I am sitting in the waiting room of my doctor’s office waiting to be called back. They have a TV playing some health network with short tips and tricks to being healthy.
One of the tips was to perform CPR to the beat of the song ‘Staying Alive’ by the Bee Gees. I laugh out loud in the quiet waiting room imagining passing out only to be revived by someone singing that song.
I got quite a few weird looks before I was able to get my giggles under control. But I guess I won’t forget the beat if I ever have to perform CPR now because I will want them to be ‘Staying Alive’!
florida80
10-10-2019, 23:12
My Case Against You Is Swelling
Hospital, USA, Washington DC | Healthy | December 20, 2017
(I have been suffering from a cough and breathing problems for a few days. Thinking it is just a passing cold, I don’t worry too much about it until one night I notice that my neck is noticeably swollen. Concerned, I go to my mother, who is a nurse, and ask her opinion. She decides to take me to the ER due to the swelling and my issues with breathing. After arriving, I am taken to a room to wait for the doctor to evaluate me.)
Nurse: “I hear you’re having some trouble breathing.”
Me: “Yes, I’ve been coughing, and I thought it was just a cold, but now my neck is swollen.”
Nurse: “Well, let’s just listen to your chest for a minute.”
(She listens to me breathe for a few moments, makes a note on her chart, and leaves. Several minutes later, the attending physician enters the room.)
Doctor: “So you’re having issues with breathing?”
Me: “Yes. I told the nurse I thought I had a cough, but now my neck is swollen and my mom was concerned it could be something else.”
Doctor: “Well, let’s just listen to your chest.”
(He also checks my lungs, the same as the nurse.)
Doctor: “Well, you seem to have some labored breathing, so we’re going to give you a breathing treatment to help with that.”
Me: “What about the swelling?”
Doctor: “I don’t really see any swelling.”
(My mother and I both stare at the doctor in disbelief. Full disclosure, I am overweight, and because of that, I do have somewhat of a ‘double-chin’. However, this is far beyond double-chin territory; it was noticeable enough for both me and my nurse mother to be concerned.)
Mom: “Her neck is obviously swollen. This isn’t normal. I know what normal is for her, and this isn’t it.”
Doctor: *dismissing her* “I’ll be back with the breathing treatment.”
(My mother and I are completely irritated by his behavior. My mom, in a stroke of genius, pulls out her phone. Not a week before, we had been on vacation, and had taken many pictures; my mom pulls up a picture of me, facing forward, that shows how I usually look. When the doctor returns, she shows him this picture as evidence that my neck does not normally look as it does now.)
Doctor: *taken aback* “Oh, your neck IS swollen! Let’s get you in for an MRI!”
(Thankfully, I just had bronchitis. However, neither my mother nor I were pleased that one of my symptoms was ignored, simply because the doctor assumed that it was irrelevant!)
florida80
10-10-2019, 23:13
I Know First Aid And Last Rites
England, London, Office, UK | Healthy | December 20, 2017
(I’m a shift supervisor on break with someone, tending to a swollen ankle.)
Colleague: “You’re a doctor, though, aren’t you [My Name]?”
Me: “I wouldn’t be here if I was; I’m a first aider.”
Colleague: “Which means you know medical stuff right?”
Me: *deadpan* “It means I know enough that a patient has a higher chance of staying alive until paramedics arrive.”
Colleague: “Whoa, that’s rather…”
Me: “Cynical?”
Colleague: “…yeah.”
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:06
Whether You’re A Brother Or Whether You’re A Mother You Should Learn CPR
Medical Office, Non-Dialogue, USA, Vancouver | Healthy | December 20, 2017
I am sitting in the waiting room of my doctor’s office waiting to be called back. They have a TV playing some health network with short tips and tricks to being healthy.
One of the tips was to perform CPR to the beat of the song ‘Staying Alive’ by the Bee Gees. I laugh out loud in the quiet waiting room imagining passing out only to be revived by someone singing that song.
I got quite a few weird looks before I was able to get my giggles under control. But I guess I won’t forget the beat if I ever have to perform CPR now because I will want them to be ‘Staying Alive’!
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:07
My Case Against You Is Swelling
Hospital, USA, Washington DC | Healthy | December 20, 2017
(I have been suffering from a cough and breathing problems for a few days. Thinking it is just a passing cold, I don’t worry too much about it until one night I notice that my neck is noticeably swollen. Concerned, I go to my mother, who is a nurse, and ask her opinion. She decides to take me to the ER due to the swelling and my issues with breathing. After arriving, I am taken to a room to wait for the doctor to evaluate me.)
Nurse: “I hear you’re having some trouble breathing.”
Me: “Yes, I’ve been coughing, and I thought it was just a cold, but now my neck is swollen.”
Nurse: “Well, let’s just listen to your chest for a minute.”
(She listens to me breathe for a few moments, makes a note on her chart, and leaves. Several minutes later, the attending physician enters the room.)
Doctor: “So you’re having issues with breathing?”
Me: “Yes. I told the nurse I thought I had a cough, but now my neck is swollen and my mom was concerned it could be something else.”
Doctor: “Well, let’s just listen to your chest.”
(He also checks my lungs, the same as the nurse.)
Doctor: “Well, you seem to have some labored breathing, so we’re going to give you a breathing treatment to help with that.”
Me: “What about the swelling?”
Doctor: “I don’t really see any swelling.”
(My mother and I both stare at the doctor in disbelief. Full disclosure, I am overweight, and because of that, I do have somewhat of a ‘double-chin’. However, this is far beyond double-chin territory; it was noticeable enough for both me and my nurse mother to be concerned.)
Mom: “Her neck is obviously swollen. This isn’t normal. I know what normal is for her, and this isn’t it.”
Doctor: *dismissing her* “I’ll be back with the breathing treatment.”
(My mother and I are completely irritated by his behavior. My mom, in a stroke of genius, pulls out her phone. Not a week before, we had been on vacation, and had taken many pictures; my mom pulls up a picture of me, facing forward, that shows how I usually look. When the doctor returns, she shows him this picture as evidence that my neck does not normally look as it does now.)
Doctor: *taken aback* “Oh, your neck IS swollen! Let’s get you in for an MRI!”
(Thankfully, I just had bronchitis. However, neither my mother nor I were pleased that one of my symptoms was ignored, simply because the doctor assumed that it was irrelevant!)
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:07
I Know First Aid And Last Rites
England, London, Office, UK | Healthy | December 20, 2017
(I’m a shift supervisor on break with someone, tending to a swollen ankle.)
Colleague: “You’re a doctor, though, aren’t you [My Name]?”
Me: “I wouldn’t be here if I was; I’m a first aider.”
Colleague: “Which means you know medical stuff right?”
Me: *deadpan* “It means I know enough that a patient has a higher chance of staying alive until paramedics arrive.”
Colleague: “Whoa, that’s rather…”
Me: “Cynical?”
Colleague: “…yeah.”
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:08
There’s Nothing They Can’t Do
Hospital, Texas, USA | Healthy | December 19, 2017
(For whatever reason, several of my friends have been taking turns in the hospital recently. My husband and I are bringing food to the third one in the past month, at a different hospital than the others, who is admitted with an extremely damaged hand after an accident. His wife meets us at the door and walks back with us to the room, but becomes lost in the process. The hallways have letter flags on them, but she is unable to locate the one we need. Fortunately, nearby staff take turns stepping in to help.)
Friend’s Wife: “Oh, no. I don’t know where ‘J’ hall is…”
Nurse #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : *on another hall and out of view* “Take a right at ‘H’!”
Friend’s Wife: “Thanks!”
(We get to the end of ‘H’ and become lost again.)
Friend’s Wife: “I don’t see ‘J’ hall. Did we go the right way?”
Nurse #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *passing behind us* “Through the double doors.”
Husband: “They’re good.”
(We walk through the doors and pass a few doctors.)
Friend’s Wife: “Now we just need room J123.”
Doctor: “Just there on your left.”
Me: “Why can’t every hospital be this easy to navigate? It’s like we have a GPS with us.”
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:09
You Keep Using That Word. I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means
Medical Office, Michigan, USA | Healthy | December 19, 2017
(I am waiting for an appointment in a medical office. The office shares a waiting room with a medical laboratory. Those there for the lab take a number, while those seeing a specialist have appointments. Several other patients, including the rude patient, are waiting to be seen.)
Medical Person #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Number 32?”
Patient #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “That’s me”
Rude Patient: “I was here first! I am number 34. You need to see me now!”
Medical Person #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Ma’am, he has a lower number than you do. I’ve told you twice already, I can’t skip you forward in the line. We see people in the order they show up, and this man was here before you. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have a lower number than you do.”
Rude Patient: “I have another appointment before [time half an hour from now]. You need to see me right now.”
Medical Person #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Ma’am, we see people in the order of their numbers. You will be seen when it is your turn,and not before then. If you need to leave before that, you can go, and come back when you have more time. I can’t guarantee how soon you’d be seen.”
([Medical Person #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] goes through the door with [Patient #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ].)
Rude Patient: “She is very rude!”
(Rude patient pulls open the sliding window where the receptionist for the medical office sits, and launches into her complaint.)
Rude Patient: “That woman is very rude! It is my turn, and she’s seeing other people. You need to make sure that I am next!”
Receptionist: “Ma’am, I’ve already explained this to you. I have nothing to do with the lab. I am the receptionist for [Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] and [Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ]. The lab is a separate thing, and I have no control over that. But people at the lab are always seen in order of their numbers.”
Rude Patient: “You! What is your number?”
Me: “I have an appointment to see [Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ]. I don’t have a number.”
Rude Patient: “You! What is your number?”
Patient #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “I am number 36.” *points to the man next to her* “He is number 37.”
(While rude patient keeps muttering about how rude [Medical Person #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] is, [Medical Person #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] comes out wearing scrubs but limping out the door in a cast. She is immediately accosted by the rude patient.)
Rude Patient: “The other girl is very rude! I had an appointment downstairs, and they sent me to get lab work done, but that woman is seeing everyone else first and not letting me go. I have another appointment!”
([Medical Person #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] spends several minutes confirming that everyone else had lower numbers than the rude patient, and explaining that people are always seen in order in the lab. While this happens, another patient comes out.)
Rude Patient: “You! What was your number?”
Patient #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “Um, 30, I think? I threw it out as soon as they called me.”
Medical Person #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “It sounds like you’re probably next, ma’am. You can either wait here for her to be ready for you, or you can go to any of our locations later today if you have somewhere else you need to be.”
Rude Patient: “But she is so rude!”
Me: “Ma’am, she wasn’t rude. She was frustrated. From what everyone has said, everyone who has been seen before you has had a lower number than you. That means they were here before you. And she said that she had already explained that she couldn’t jump you ahead of other people in the line, which means you were probably demanding that before I showed up. You just don’t like being told that. Frankly, you need to either sit down and wait your turn, or go to your other appointment and then either come back here or go to one of the other lab locations when you have the time and won’t yell at people for doing their job. But the fact that you didn’t get your way doesn’t make someone else rude.”
Rude Patient: “That’s very rude of you. You need to respect your elders!”
(I shake my head and go back to my book.)
Medical Person #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Number 33?… If there’s no number 33, number 34?”
Rude Woman: “Finally!”
(I really don’t think the rude patient understood the meaning of the word rude.)
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:09
Chewed Through Half Of Your High School Fun
Dentist, Florida, USA | Healthy | December 19, 2017
(I have to get all four wisdom teeth removed just before starting my senior year of high school, and one of them gives me trouble. When we cut the small stitches out, we find the space where that tooth had been still has a little bit open, but don’t think it warrants another stitch. My dentist is explaining safety rules for food and drinks, considering the small hole in my gums.)
Dentist: “Don’t chew on that side if you can avoid it; don’t have anything with alcohol—”
Me: “Well, there goes my entire high school career.”
Dentist: *chuckling* “Smart-a**.”
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:10
That’s Clot What That Sounded Like
Canada, Hospital, Kingston, Ontario | Healthy | December 18, 2017
(I’m in the hospital for debilitating migraines. The pain is vomit-inducing and has no discernible cause. After a slight abnormality shows on the CAT, they send me for an MRI.)
Doctor: “So, we didn’t find the cause of the headaches, but we did find a blood clot, so we’ll be giving you some new medications.”
(My mom and I are horrified at the idea of a blood clot in my brain, of course, and before we can come to terms with what that means the doctor is gone.)
Mom: “Okay, you are NOT moving from this bed! One bad move and the clot could shift, so you have to be INCREDIBLY careful!”
(For two days I barely leave my bed, even to go to the bathroom. They book more tests, but none to do with blood clots. Finally, two days later…)
Mom: *interrupting Doctor* “Okay, a lumbar punctures will help the blood clot how exactly?!”
Doctor: *surprised* “Oh, the clot is old and in a drainage artery. There’s no danger of that hurting the brain!”
(If we hadn’t been so relieved I think my mom would have throttled that doctor for making her think her daughter was on death’s door for two days!)
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:10
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Jesus, It’s Just Gallstones!
Florida, Hospital, USA | Healthy | December 18, 2017
(I’m in the ER with severe stomach pain and bloating. I’ve just been put in a room, and the ER doctor is asking questions. I’m in my early 20s.)
Doctor: “Is there any chance you could be pregnant?”
Me: “Nope, no chance. I’m not even dating anyone right now.”
Doctor: “Are you absolutely SURE?”
(She’s pushing on my stomach, which makes the pain worse. At this point, I no longer have a filter on my mouth.)
Me: “Lady, if I’m pregnant, you’d better start looking outside for shepherds, angels, three wise men, and a star.”
Doctor: “…noted. I’ll get you into imaging.”
(I had gallstones and pancreatitis.)
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:11
A Large Dose Of Laziness
Arizona, Medical Office, Phoenix, USA | Healthy | December 18, 2017
(I am diagnosed with a rare neurological condition and go to the Mayo Clinic. My medication doses have to be adjusted continuously for several months and I am now on a combination of both the regular and extended release for the best effect. Since Mayo does not accept my insurance and I had to pay for their evaluation out of pocket, I am now transferring to an in-network neurologist for follow-up care.)
Me: “So I’m on [Medication] and I take 1000 mg extended and 500 regular in the morning, and then 1000 mg extended and 250 mg regular in the evening.”
Doctor: “Oh, that’s too complicated. I’m just going to write your prescription for 1000 mg twice a day.”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Doctor: “I don’t know why you ended up on such a complicated dose.”
Me: “Because the neurologist at Mayo Clinic carefully adjusted my dose over several months, and we determined that this was what worked best to control my symptoms. You have all the records from Mayo.”
Doctor: “Yes, but it’ll be so much easier for you to just take 1000 mg twice a day.”
(I didn’t go back.)
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:12
Suffering From Temporal Displacement
Arizona, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | December 17, 2017
(I’m headed to a doctor’s appointment that I scheduled two weeks prior. The appointment time is 3:30 and that was confirmed twice while talking to the receptionist, and I was left a voicemail the day before my appointment again confirming my 3:30 check in. I always like to arrive early because I work in the medical field myself and I know how important it is to be in time. I show up at a very prompt 3:10.)
Me: “Hi, I’m early but I’m here to check in for my 3:30 appointment.”
Receptionist: *very blankly* “Name.”
Me: *says name*
Receptionist: *SIGH* “Let me ask the doctor is she can see you because you’re really late.”
(The receptionist walks away before I can say anything. She comes back and rolls her eyes.)
Receptionist: “I guess she’ll see you, but you’re late.”
Me: “I’m twenty minutes early. My appointment is 3:30.”
Receptionist: “No, you’re twenty minutes late. Fill this out so she can take you back.”
(It’s not worth the fight, so I sit down and finish the paperwork. Soon after, the door swings open and the doctor calls my name.)
Doctor: “Hurry back. I need to rush because you’re very late and now my schedule is behind.”
Me: “My appointment was 3:30. I’m early.”
Doctor: “That’s not what my schedule says. You’re holding up my day.”
Me: “I have a voicemail even confirming my time!”
Doctor: *rolls eyes* “Sure you do. Hurry up.”
(I’m so annoyed with being called a liar I play the voicemail on speaker.)
Doctor: “Oh. They did say to check in at 3:30. But you’re still late; now hurry up.”
(I was so annoyed but the wait on this appointment was forever and I just quickly did the appointment. She was terrible and I never went back after that.)
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:12
Would Have Been Ice To Know
Hospital, Idaho, USA | Healthy | December 16, 2017
(I’ve just had major surgery on my leg and have been taken to my room. I begin to feel chilled, so I press the call button. The nurse who responds covered me with an additional blanket, but after a short time I am so cold I was shivering, so another blanket is added. Within about an hour two more blankets are added but I am colder than ever. Then the charge nurse comes in on her rounds.)
Me: *violently shivering* “C-c-cold!”
Nurse: *having just taken my vitals* “You’re practically hypothermic. Let me check your leg and then I’ll see what else we can do to warm you up.” *checks my leg* “Oh. How long has your leg been packed in ice?!”
Me: “Ice?”
(Neither of us knew, so it must have been done before I awoke from anesthesia which means it had been there for at quite some time. Each blanket that was added sealed in the cold that much more, so of course I was freezing! The ice was quickly removed and with five or six blankets covering me I warmed up pretty fast.)
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:13
They Need To Carb-Load Their Medical Degree
Food & Drink, Medical Office, Pennsylvania, USA | Healthy | December 15, 2017
(I’ve been a diabetic for over 42 years, so I’m a bit “old school” when it comes to caring for my diabetes. Still, I must be doing something right, as my control has been fairly tight up until recently. Because of new issues, I go to see an endocrinologist and am discussing my diet with her. And as dismayed as I am to say it, I’m about 60 lbs overweight.)
Doctor: “How many carbs do you eat per meal?”
Me: “Oh, three, sometimes four. If I’m feeling particularly crazy, I’ll have up to five, but that’s my limit.”
Doctor: *looking at me in horror* “How many?!”
Me: “Three or four.”
Doctor: “Grams?”
Me: *holding my arms wide* “Do I look like a mouse? I’m talking about the diabetic exchange, doc. Fifteen grams is one carb, and I eat three or four carbs per meal, with two carbs being a snack.”
Doctor: “Oh, God! I thought you were eating only three or four grams per meal.”
Me: “Yes… and I have a blood glucose of zero.”
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:13
Diagnoses That Leave You Breathless
Canada, Medical Office, Ontario, Toronto | Healthy | December 15, 2017
(I was just recently diagnosed with pretty severe asthma. This winter, I start feeling odd in my chest whenever I breathe, and it’s causing me great anxiety, so I go to my GP.)
Me: “Whenever I breathe my chest feels odd, and it’s difficult to get deep breaths.”
Doctor: “So, don’t breathe; problem solved.”
Me: *awkward laugh* “Yeah, I guess so, but I was hoping for a more permanent solution.”
Doctor: “Take your inhaler.”
Me: “Yes, I am, but it doesn’t help.”
Doctor: “So, don’t breathe.”
(I ended up walking out and going to the ER. It wasn’t life-threatening and they just told me to take something over-the-counter medicine for a month, and to avoid going outside in extremely cold weather.)
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:14
Honesty Is Always The Best Medicine
England, Kent, Pharmacy, UK | Healthy | December 14, 2017
(I am waiting patiently for a prescription to be filled in a quiet pharmacy.)
Pharmacist: “Found it; here you go!”
Me: *takes bagged item* “Thanks.”
Pharmacist: “No problem, bye!”
Me: “Uhh… I still need to pay for this.”
Pharmacist: “Oh! I’m so sorry. Thank you for your honesty.” *rings up the transaction*
Me: “Well, not that I would anyway, but it would be kind of stupid for me to run off, seeing as you know exactly who I am and where I live.” *gestures to my address printed on the bag*
Pharmacist: “You wouldn’t believe what some people try.”
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:14
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 14
Retail | Right | September 21, 2016
(I manage a retail store that does engravings. When customers want something done we go to a little counter, stand opposite the customer, and explain pricing. I am due to have my daughter any day when this happens. I’m tall and have always been really skinny.)
Nice Young Couple: “We want to get [Item] with [Name] on it.”
Me: “Oh, that’s such a cute name!”
(I explain the pricing. All is going well.)
Woman: “I’m six months along and feel like a whale! How far are you?”
Me: “I’m nine months. Actually, the doctor said I should have popped a week ago. When I’m done working, I walk the Mall of America like a crazy person because a manager over there swears it helps induce labor!”
Woman: “You’re nine months!? Why are you so small?!”
Me: “I don’t know. I’m just naturally skinny but the doctor predicted that she would at least be seven pounds or more.”
Woman: *suddenly incredibly angry* “I’m only six months and bigger than you! That’s not fair!”
(At that point the woman went savage and actually tried to climb over the counter to hit me. Her boyfriend grabbed her and dragged her out of the store kicking and screaming “It’s not fair!” while giving me a look that said “I’m so sorry!” Two days later I got my doctor to give me a note saying I couldn’t work anymore while pregnant because of blood pressure issues. I had my baby a week later and quit when my maternity leave was up. I have never, and will never, go back to retail. I have a lot of respect for people that stick it out. You don’t get paid enough
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:15
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 15
home improvement | Right | August 2, 2017
(I am pregnant, quite close to my due date, and obviously showing it even through my boxy work uniform. This occurs during a (so far) normal transaction as I am returning an item for a customer approximately in his fifties.)
Customer: “So, you’re pregnant?”
Me: *smiling* “Yup!”
Customer: “How’d that happen?”
Me: “Uh… well… um…”
Customer: *cheerfully* “You’d be surprised, the different answers I get with that one.”
Me: *speechless*
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:15
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 16
Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Medical Office, USA, Washington | Right | November 2, 2017
(I’m having a pregnancy test done at a local clinic. After I get a positive result, they go over some things with me. The nurse is asking me basic questions about daily habits and my lifestyle.)
Nurse: “All right, do you smoke?”
Me: “Nope.”
Nurse: “Drink alcohol?”
Me: “Not at all.”
Nurse: “Do you plan on starting?”
Me: “Not anytime soon.”
Nurse: “Oh, thank God! I don’t have to try to talk sense into you.”
Me: “Do people really think they can smoke and drink during pregnancy?”
Nurse: “More than you’d think.”
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:16
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 17
Hospital, USA, Washington | Healthy | December 15, 2017
(My sister goes to the hospital due to her appendix rupturing. Because of the amount of pain she is in, I answer all the questions for her, fill out forms, etc. While she is in the ER, nurses continue to ask if she is pregnant. The first couple times are different nurses that I assume aren’t talking to each other, but it gets annoying. This all happens before they confirm it’s her appendix.)
Nurse #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Is there a chance you’re pregnant?”
Me: “No, there’s no chance.”
Nurse # 2: *later, crouching in front of my sister, who’s writhing in pain* “Are you pregnant, sweetie?”
Me: “No, there’s absolutely no chance.”
Nurse #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *glares at me and leaves*
Nurse #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : *later, as the painkillers are starting to kick in, causing my sister to slur her speech slightly and not be quite present* “Is there any chance you’re pregnant?”
Me: *frustrated* “There is no chance she’s pregnant!”
Nurse #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “Let her answer for herself!”
Me: *points at the insurance cards I’d pulled out of her wallet and laid on the counter* “If you idiots had taken half a second to look at these, you’d see she doesn’t have a uterus!”
(My sister was in an accident when she was a kid and had to have her uterus removed, and carries a card with that information on it, because the pregnancy question always comes up. The nurse left quickly and we soon had yet another nurse, who didn’t ask the pregnancy question. I apologize to the nurse at the desk later for yelling, but she waved me off and said it was a quick way to learn a lesson.)
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:17
Honesty Is Always The Best Medicine
England, Kent, Pharmacy, UK | Healthy | December 14, 2017
(I am waiting patiently for a prescription to be filled in a quiet pharmacy.)
Pharmacist: “Found it; here you go!”
Me: *takes bagged item* “Thanks.”
Pharmacist: “No problem, bye!”
Me: “Uhh… I still need to pay for this.”
Pharmacist: “Oh! I’m so sorry. Thank you for your honesty.” *rings up the transaction*
Me: “Well, not that I would anyway, but it would be kind of stupid for me to run off, seeing as you know exactly who I am and where I live.” *gestures to my address printed on the bag*
Pharmacist: “You wouldn’t believe what some people try.”
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:18
Some Real Blocks To Common Sense
Clinic, Parents/Guardians, USA | Healthy | December 14, 2017
(A mother comes into our blood-draw station with her non-verbal, autistic adult son. He is at least 350 pounds, and probably about 6′. I am 5’1” and about 120 pounds, mostly lower body and core muscle as I’m a competitive Irish dancer. The mother proceeds to explain to me his special needs and his abilities and limitations.)
Me: “Okay. Is he likely to try and hit me?” *the mother gives me an odd look* “I’ll still draw him if he is, it’s just easier for me to block if I’m expecting it.”
Mother: *incredulous* “You’re going to block him hitting you?!”
Me: *looking at her son* “Yes. If he tries to hit me, I will block the hit.”
Mother: “You can’t hurt my son.”
Me: “Don’t worry. I’m trained to block physical attacks without harming the attacker; it’s a training that many healthcare workers have.”
Mother: “I don’t want you to block it.”
Me: “Let me get this straight. Look at me. Look at him. I am a 5’1” woman. You want me to just let him hit me?”
Mother: “Yes.”
(Luckily, he didn’t try to hit me.)
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:18
A Breath Of Death Air
Clinic, Houston, Texas, USA | Healthy | December 14, 2017
(I recently got home from an overseas trip. On the flight back I caught a fever and started having stomach issues. A few days later, I had to switch out with my father when driving because I didn’t feel like I could both drive and focus on breathing. I’ve always had asthma, but usually only have had issues when exercising and breathing very cold air. However, this is the second event in around a month where I couldn’t identify a trigger and the breathing problems lasted for a long time. The first time I went to the emergency room, was told it was a panic attack, and was sent home. When things didn’t clear up, I went to the school clinic where they said it was my asthma — not a spasm like I was used to, but inflammation — and gave me medication. Things cleared up. Because it is only a little after New Year’s, my mom doesn’t think our GP can fit us in quickly enough, so we head to an emergency clinic. Our new insurance only allows us to go to one chain in the area, and it’s 30 minutes away. There isn’t a doctor available, so we confirm we are fine with seeing the head nurse. I’m used to journalling some aspects of my health due to things like adult onset allergies, and have written specifics of the start and stop of the symptoms in a notebook, along with details from the other attack. Sometimes I also have difficulty speaking because of my focusing on my breathing.)
Mom: “She’s been having trouble breathing. We were here a couple days ago because she had a stomach bug.”
Nurse: “Can you describe when this started?”
Me: “Um, I noticed I had to focus to breathe. I was really aware of my breathing. It started last night, I guess? Um— I wrote it down, if it’s easier.”
(I hand her the notebook. She looks through it, but she looks skeptical.)
Nurse: “Okay, I know what’s going on here. Honey, you’re having a panic attack.”
Me: “I don’t think it’s a panic attack! It happened before around a month ago. I have asthma—”
Nurse: “The emergency guys thought that was a panic attack, too. Listen, I know you don’t want to hear this, but this is in your brain.”
(This sets me off for multiple reasons, one of which being that I DO have anxiety, but it is controlled and not the kind that results in panic attacks. Another being that I’ve been misdiagnosed with “stress pains” by my father’s urologist, who was checking for kidney stones, when we later found out I had some muscle issues in that area that were easily taken care of with physical therapy. I should also note my mother has been making some comments, but I can’t exactly remember them. She’s mostly worried.)
Me: “But the other doctor said it was asthma! I’ve had people dismiss things like this before! But when it was checked out by someone else they found something! I have anxiety, but I get those! I don’t have this problem!”
Nurse: “So you just keep going to doctors till they say what you want to hear. But I’m telling you, this is a panic attack. You said in your notes that talking is difficult, but you’re talking fine now. You seem fine. You just need to accept this. Maybe call your therapist or psychiatrist.”
(She ended the appointment. I was pretty hysterical once we returned home. I have been well functioning for years and even though I didn’t believe the nurse, she put the idea in my head that I was as well off as I thought. I should also note my mom is of the generation that often writes things off as stress, and seemed to be taking the nurse’s side, or at least playing devil’s advocate, adding to my stress. I blubbered to my mom and eventually my psychiatrist’s hotline. [Psychiatrist] quickly wrote a prescription for anxiety, but was very firm in telling me most of her patients didn’t end up using it and that often having it in their possession helped. She also said that if I felt I needed it to only take half and assess how I felt. Honestly, I didn’t feel any different. Later, my mom apologized that she helped upset me and called our GP. )
Mom: “[Doctor] made an opening for you tomorrow. Guess what she said, though, when I told her everything that happened?”
Me: “…what?”
Mom: “In her experience asthmatics usually have panic attacks because they can’t f****** breathe.”
(My GP gave me a steroid inhaler and I started breathing better in a few days. I later went to my asthma and allergy doctor and found out I have a new severe allergy to dust mites, something that aggravates asthma. F*** you, nurse.)
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:19
Allergic To Listening
Medical Office, New York, USA | Healthy | December 13, 2017
(I have been getting flu like symptoms for a week or so every month for about a year and finally made myself an appointment to see the doctor. I had to switch primary care physicians for insurance reasons. This is my first appointment with a new doctor. When I go to see him, I also happen to have some mild allergy symptoms including a stuffy nose, which I am used to.)
Doctor: “So, what can we do for you today?”
Me: “Well, for the past year or so I have been getting flu like symptoms about a week out of each month.” *my voice is sort of muffled and you can tell I have a stuffy nose*
Doctor: “Seems like you have a cold there.”
Me: “No, it’s just allergies. I’m always like this this time of year.”
Doctor: “There’s really not much I can do for a cold. I can prescribe you some antihistamines.”
Me: “I’m fine, thanks. I already take them, and this is just normal allergies.”
Doctor: “You know, with your asthma, allergies can worsen your breathing.”
Me: “Yeah, I know, that’s why I am on three medications for it. Anyway, for like a week each month I get a mild fever and body aches, sometimes headaches. This has been going on for a year.”
Doctor: “I am going prescribe you a Z-Pak just in case, so your cold doesn’t get worse.”
(Writes out a prescription.)
Me: “No, that’s okay. Like I said, this is allergies, I am not here for that.”
Doctor: “Here you go.” *hands me prescription* “Come back in a week if you’re not better.” *leaves the room*
(Needless to say I left angry and never went back to that practice. Oh, and it turned out I had Lyme disease.)
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:19
No Bald Announcements
Medical Office, New York, USA | Healthy | December 13, 2017
(I have noticed a small bald spot at the top of my hairline. Concerned, I make an appointment with a dermatologist to get it looked at.)
Nurse: “Okay, what seems to be the problem?”
Me: “I noticed I have a small bald spot on my head and am concerned about it.”
Nurse: *looks at the spot* “Oh, that doesn’t look to bad. Don’t worry about it, hon. I’ll have the doctor come in and help you.”
Me: “Okay, thank you.”
(I then wait about half an hour on the exam table until the doctor finally comes in to the room. He sits down in a chair without acknowledging me and reads my chart. He then stands up and leaves the room. About five minutes later he comes back in and walks towards me without speaking. I see a large syringe in his hand. He reaches up to my head with the syringe and is about to inject me when I back away from him.)
Me: “Okay, wait. What are you doing? What’s the syringe for?”
Doctor: “I need to give you an injection.”
Me: “Why, what’s the problem?”
Doctor: “You have a spot of alopecia. This will help it.”
Me: “What is in the syringe?”
Doctor: “Steroids. It’s fine.”
(The doctor then proceeded to grab my head and injected the area with the huge syringe. He disposed of it, took off his gloves, and left the room giving me no information about the condition, what caused it, or if it would go away. I left there pretty angry and worried. Thank god for the Internet because I was able to do enough research on it to not freak out. It cleared up and hasn’t been a problem since but, Jesus Christ, talk to your patients before stabbing them in the head with a needle.)
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:20
A Needling Suspicion They Did That On Purpose
Dentist, Texas, USA | Healthy | December 13, 2017
(The dentist’s assistant has treated me like a child the whole time because I said I have a needle phobia. Important note: I am in therapy for this, and the coping mechanism I learned was to steel myself for it, to watch it. I know most nurses think that it’s better not to watch, but I got the phobia from a bunch of medical students practicing on me at age 10, and not letting me say no or have any control over the situation at all. They practiced until my parents came in and threatened them. Since then, I have needed to prepare and watch.)
Assistant: “So we’re going to give you some numbing, okay, sweetie?”
Me: “Okay. Just tell me when you’re using the needle. I need to know.”
Assistant: “Of course, honey. Now I’m just going to make sure your teeth are squeaky clean for the procedure.”
(She starts using different tools, and I let my mind wander… until I feel a needle pierce my gums. I jump.)
Me: *mumbling because of her hand* “Hey! I told you to tell me!”
Assistant: “Tell you what, sweetie?”
Me: “When you used the needle!”
Assistant: “There’s no needle, silly!”
(I push my tongue against the side. I can also feel it on my lips. This is freaking me out worse than if she had told me.)
Me: “Uh-huh!”
Assistant: “Stop being ridiculous!” *finishes the injection, pulls out the needle* “There. That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
(I started having flashbacks so I couldn’t even respond. I got up and ran into the bathroom, barricading the door. The dental assistant acted confused and surprised and asked me what’s wrong. I didn’t answer her. The dentist ended up rescheduling my appointment, but brushed it off when I told him what she did. I didn’t let her touch me again
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:21
Death-Defying Expectations
School, USA | Healthy | December 12, 2017
(An EMT has come to our school to train us on how to use the new defibrillator. He’s not impressed with our skills.)
Me: “So after it’s done shocking, do we take the pads off their chest?”
EMT: “No, just let the coroner do that.” *pause* “I mean the doctor
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:21
Will Have To Reorient Your Understanding On Lifestyle
Canada, Medical Office, Ontario | Healthy | December 12, 2017
(My husband is an RNA, and the doctor asks him to explain the procedure going forward to a patient who is experiencing symptoms relating to diet and lack of exercise.)
Husband: “So, the doctor has told you that many of your symptoms are related to diet and lack of exercise. I’m going to go over some programs you can take advantage of to help change your lifestyle.”
Patient: *startled* “I have to change my lifestyle?!”
Husband: “Yes, your going to have to change it completely if you want to start feeling better. I have some brochures here for the various programs we are going to offer to get you signed up for. They all offer professionals in various fields who can help you learn how to incorporate these changes into your routine so they became a natural part of your life.”
Patient: *getting up, trying to gather her jacket and purse to leave, while shaking and clearly outraged* “I can’t believe you are asking me to join these programs! I always told my husband he was being silly, no one was trying to change lifestyles and that he was just wrong, but he’s right! I can’t believe this is happening. The news is going to hear about this!”
(Then she stormed out. My poor confused husband told the doctor what happened, and the doctor called the patient later in the day to try to find out what set her off. It turned out she didn’t understand that the doctor’s office was trying to set her up with a dietician, a charity-supervised walking group, a swim aerobics class, and publicly-offered healthy cooking classes. She legitimately thought that the ‘professional services’ would help her seamlessly change her ‘lifestyle’ to gay
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:22
I’m Gonna Go With Time-Travel
Colorado, Denver, Phone, Time, USA | Healthy | December 12, 2017
(I am calling my doctor’s office to make an appointment and she is asking for basic information like my name and date of birth.)
Receptionist: “And when is your date of birth?”
Me: “February first, ‘94.”
Receptionist: “Is that 1994?”
Me: “Well, unless I’m from the future or look great for 123, yes, 1994.”
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:22
Mouth Wide Shut
Dentist, Louisiana, USA | Healthy | December 11, 2017
(For some reason, all of my baby teeth didn’t come out on their own, so at 13 I had to have all four of my canines removed. The dentist removes the ones on the left side without issue and I go back a few weeks later to have the ones on the right removed. The bottom one comes out easily enough but when the dentist tries to pull out the top one, he winds up roughly yanking my head forward.)
Me: *yelps but keeps mouth open* “Ow! That hurt!”
Dentist: *grasps my tooth again and tries to wiggle it* “Hmm, looks like it’s still got the root. That’s weird.”
Me: “Does it need cutting out?”
Dentist: “Nah, it just means you have to open your mouth wider.”
Me: *frowning* “It doesn’t get wider than that.”
Dentist: “Sure, you can.”
(He then proceeds to put one hand in my mouth and tries to force my mouth open wider than is physically possible. My jaw makes a loud, clicking sort of pop as he does and I shout in pain then, without thinking, I bite down on his hand. HARD. He screams and he and his assistant pry my mouth open. I’m given another shot of Novocaine and he finally RIPS my tooth out. He gives me the tooth as a souvenir and his assistant packs the holes in my mouth then sends me on my way. I can’t get out to my mom out fast enough and refuse to let her schedule a follow-up or the cleaning I’m due.)
Mom: *as we’re getting in the car* “What was that screaming? Was that you?”
Me: “Nope, I bit the dentist. And I bit him good, too.”
Mom: *shocked* “Oh, my god, [My Name]! Why?!”
(I relate what happened and she stares at me with her mouth hanging open.)
Mom: *muttering as we drive off* “We are NOT coming back here. Ever. And I’m telling everyone I know to never come here.”
(About a year later the dentist closed his practice.)
florida80
10-11-2019, 18:23
A Pathological Vapo-Rub User
Chicago, Grocery Store, USA | Healthy | December 11, 2017
(I’m out grocery shopping, and I’m having trouble finding something, so I go to find a store employee. It’s worth noting that I’m a very petite blond woman in my early thirties.)
Me: “Excuse me, do you happen to know where the VapoRub is?”
Stocker: “Oh, yeah, it’s over here.”
(He hands me a tub of the stuff formulated for babies, and I thank him and immediately swap it out for a jar of the menthol mint formula.)
Stocker: “Ma’am, you don’t want to use that stuff with your kids. It’ll be too strong for them.”
Me: “Well, that’s good, because I don’t have kids.”
Stocker: “What’s it for, then?”
Me: “Cadavers. I’m a pathologist, and peppermint oil just doesn’t last through the workday. Water deaths, especially; you would not believe the smell…”
(The guy went sheet-white, and hurried away as fast as he could without running. I felt kind of bad, but it was definitely the funniest part of my day! My mentor always said that pathologists have the weirdest sense of humor…)
florida80
10-12-2019, 21:09
A Pathological Vapo-Rub User
Chicago, Grocery Store, USA | Healthy | December 11, 2017
(I’m out grocery shopping, and I’m having trouble finding something, so I go to find a store employee. It’s worth noting that I’m a very petite blond woman in my early thirties.)
Me: “Excuse me, do you happen to know where the VapoRub is?”
Stocker: “Oh, yeah, it’s over here.”
(He hands me a tub of the stuff formulated for babies, and I thank him and immediately swap it out for a jar of the menthol mint formula.)
Stocker: “Ma’am, you don’t want to use that stuff with your kids. It’ll be too strong for them.”
Me: “Well, that’s good, because I don’t have kids.”
Stocker: “What’s it for, then?”
Me: “Cadavers. I’m a pathologist, and peppermint oil just doesn’t last through the workday. Water deaths, especially; you would not believe the smell…”
(The guy went sheet-white, and hurried away as fast as he could without running. I felt kind of bad, but it was definitely the funniest part of my day! My mentor always said that pathologists have the weirdest sense of humor…)
florida80
10-12-2019, 21:09
Scream Bloody Murder At The Sight Of Blood
Canada, Daycare, Ontario | Healthy | December 11, 2017
(My son is 18 months old. I am planning on entering him in daycare and returning to work. I check around, and choose a daycare in part because of the above and beyond training the staff all have, including comprehensive (instead of emergency only) first aid training, annually. About three weeks after I enroll him, I get a call at work from a frantic daycare worker, who speaks perfect English, despite what happens next.)
Worker: “Your son was climbing on a chair and fell. He hit his head quite badly. There is a lot of blood coming out of his ear, and he hasn’t moved in 15 minutes!”
Me: “Is he talking or doing anything!”
Worker: “No, he hasn’t done anything at all since he fell. Maybe you should come pick him up.”
Me: “Call an ambulance. That’s very serious. Call right away. I’ll be there soon!”
(I throw my keys at my boss, barely tell him that my son is hurt and I have to go, run out of work, and drive like an idiot, all while picturing the most horrible things, and arrive just as the ambulance gets there. The ambulance attendants and I rush inside to find my son calmly lying in a staff member’s lap, getting read to, trying to reach up and grab the book closer to himself. When he sees me he gets up and runs over to me, gabbing away the whole time. The staff member I talked to originally turns to me and the ambulance attendants.)
Worker: “That’s the first time he’s gotten up since he fell. He’s been lying in her lap reading books for the last half hour. We checked him over and he’s nicked his earlobe, which HAS bled quite a lot. That’s why I thought his mom should pick him up, but she insisted I call the ambulance, so I thought I better comply. Lawsuits, you know.” *stupid giggle*
(The ambulance attendants were extremely disgruntled to be called out for something that clearly wasn’t an emergency of any sort, and the worker keeps trying to blame me (‘New parents! Always overreacting to normal childhood bumps and bruises. Insisted I call an ambulance, etc.’) I may have lost it a little bit, yelling at her that her wildly inaccurate description of his injuries is why I insisted on her calling the ambulance, and that she had caused not only a huge waste of time for emergency services, but also extreme anxiety for me in her effort to make the story seem more interesting, or whatever her problem was.)
florida80
10-12-2019, 21:10
Pumpkin Season Finally Turned Deadly
Canada, Farm, Ontario | Healthy | December 10, 2017
(I am working at a pumpkin patch and we have to move the rotting pumpkins to a huge garbage bin. I and two coworkers have the pumpkins in a ranger, a huge garbage bin, and are throwing them into the dumpster. [Coworker #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] throws the pumpkin and it hits [Coworker #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] on the head, like, smack dab in the middle of the head.)
Coworker #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “OH, MY GOD, ARE YOU OKAY?!”
Coworker #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Yeah, I blacked out for a bit but I’m fine.”
Me: “Oh, god, hold on; let me get someone!”
Coworker #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “I’m fine; I’ve had a concussion before I know the drill. Let’s finish this!”
Me: “What? No, I need to get someone! You said you blacked out!”
Coworker #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “It’s fine; I’ll have my sister wake me up every few hours.”
Coworker #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “She says she’s fine. I didn’t mean to hit her anyway.”
(Against my better judgment, we finished the pumpkins and all signed out and went home. [Coworker #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] called in the next day and I saw she posted on her FB wall she was in the hospital with, guess what? A concussion!)
florida80
10-12-2019, 21:11
Prescribing Some Business Advice
home, USA | Healthy | December 9, 2017
(I’ve just gotten back from the pharmacy, having filled a new prescription for some anti-anxiety medication. The prescription was for a much larger supply than I’m used to. Also, my boyfriend works in mental health, and as such is fairly familiar with psych pharmaceuticals.)
Me: “So, do you think they gave me enough?” *showing him the huge prescription bottle*
Boyfriend: “Whoa. They’re tiny, too. Is that, like, a year’s supply?!”
Me: “Not really. See, look: they’re in little bars. It just looks like lots of tiny pills.”
Boyfriend: “So it’s Xanax?”
Me: “Um, the doctor said it’s BuSpar.”
Boyfriend: “BuSpar is a Xanax analogue. Not one-to-one, but still, you could sell those for $15 a pop!”
(He gives a thoughtful pause, then turns on the voice chat with his friends on his computer, which he’d muted to talk to me.)
Boyfriend: “Hey! Anyone wanna buy some Xanax?”
(He was joking, of course.)
florida80
10-12-2019, 21:11
Their Medical Opinion Is Not Abs-olute
Hospital, Non-Dialogue, USA | Healthy | December 8, 2017
When I was in grad school I was hit by a car while walking home one night. At the time it appeared all I suffered was road rash and bruises and I was sent home from the ER pretty quickly, but over the next several months internal symptoms started manifesting, culminating in me being unable to eat or drink anything without suffering severe abdominal pain.
I’m home with my parents for the summer when it gets so bad they call me an ambulance and accompany me to the ER. Before anyone can tell the first person who sees me not to do so, they’ve put morphine in my IV, which I do NOT get along with, so when the doctor arrives to check me out I’m being terribly sick while my poor mother holds the bucket. The doctor takes one look at me (female, age 22) and starts lecturing me about the evils of binge drinking and really, if I’m going to drink enough beer to make me sick I deserve the consequences. By the time I could lift my head enough to see what was going on, two nurses and an orderly were holding back my dad from wreaking grave bodily injury on this idiot. (As it happens, never before or since have I ever had enough to drink that it made me sick.)
Turned out the impact trauma had caused intestinal adhesions which needed to be surgically cut loose so peristalsis would function normally again. No thanks to that idiot doc, or the four after him — the first doctor who actually listened to me and who performed the surgery that fixed everything was, not coincidentally, the only female doctor I saw through the whole ordeal. I have not seen a male doctor since!
florida80
10-12-2019, 21:12
Find An Opening For The Explanation
Chicago, Family & Kids, Illinois, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | December 8, 2017
(My daughter is six years old and takes everything literally. For example, when saying something stinks such as “Oh, well, that stinks; you can come out for the day” she will ask me, “How does it smell?” Today I had to take her to her pediatric cardiologist, to have her heart murmur checked. I explained to her that it wasn’t going to hurt and that the doctor was just going to listen to her heart. She said okay and I thought nothing more of it. But when the nurse came in.)
Nurse: “All right, we are going to look at your heart.”
Daughter: “Okay. I took my shirt off, but how are you going to open my body to see my heart? Because Mommy said this wouldn’t hurt.”
(I will admit, the nurse’s eyes only bugged out for a second before she pulled herself together and explained that she had a special camera to look at it without having to “open her body.” Next time I will try to remember to explain a bit better!)
florida80
10-12-2019, 21:12
X-Dentist
Dentist, Minnesota, USA | Healthy | December 8, 2017
(After looking for a good long while, I finally find a dentist that takes my insurance. I’ve only been to a dentist twice in my life — I grew up very poor — but I’ve been having bad pain in my jaw. An older gentleman, the dentist, ushers me behind a curtain and sits me on the dentist chair.)
Dentist: “So, how long since your last dental appointment?”
Me: “About six years ago I went to a free dental clinic. Before that, I think I was in second grade. That’s it.”
Dentist: *flatly* “Ah. So you probably have bad teeth. Open up; let me see the damage. Do you even brush your teeth?”
(My wife and I make significant eye contact around the curtain. The dentist puts on gloves and pokes my teeth a couple of times with a finger.)
Dentist: “Huh. You’ve actually got great teeth. Did you grow up in a third world country?”
Me: “I grew up in Tennessee.”
Dentist: “Oh, so THAT’S why. Southern people don’t take care of their teeth. Well, your teeth look really good actually, except for that overlap in the front.” *he pokes my top front teeth, one of which overlaps the slightest bit onto the other* “That’s unfortunate because without it you’d have perfect teeth. I’m not sure why you came in today. You don’t have any cavities.”
Me: “…what about that jaw pain?”
Dentist: “Right, that. Well, I guess I could take X-rays if you want. I’m not sure why you’d want them. You’re just grinding your teeth.”
Me: “I’ve never had dental X-rays done, though. Shouldn’t we get an X-ray to check?”
Dentist: *massive sigh* “Fine, fine, we’ll do them. I think you just want to waste some time.”
(Lo and behold, the X-rays showed my bottom wisdom teeth needed to come out ASAP. They grew sideways and are pushing the roots of the teeth next to them, shifting the teeth and causing my pain. The dentist was surprised, and then tried to sell me a $100 mouth guard that would stop the pain, because he thought I’m grinding my teeth and that my wisdom teeth had nothing to do with it. We did not take him up on the offer and are looking for a new dentist.)
florida80
10-12-2019, 21:13
Some Heart-Warming Explanations
Hawaii, Hospital, USA | Healthy | December 7, 2017
(I have visited the cardiologist for EKGs and echoes every two years since I was born, and one year I am old enough to ask my doctor why I have to.)
Doctor: “You have a heart murmur. Arrhythmia and mitral valve prolapse.”
Me: “What’s that mean?”
Doctor: “Well, most people’s hearts have a steady two-beat. BUMP-bump, BUMP-bump, BUMP-bump, like a drummer. Your heart is like a jazz drummer, who just does whatever: BUMP-bump-bump, BUMP-bump-bump, BUMP, bump-BUMP, no bump. There’s extra beats and missed beats, with no pattern to it.”
Me: “What’s the other one?”
Doctor: “Imagine the hood of a Japanese convertible. The roof goes up, and when it comes back down, it fits perfectly into its base without problems, and is completely sealed. Now imagine the hood of an American convertible. When the roof comes back down, it doesn’t quite fit into the base; it’s off-center, and the air-conditioning will leak out and rain can get in. Your heart is an American car, and the valve is the convertible roof.”
(Two decades later, and I still love this doctor’s explanations to a confused kid.)
florida80
10-12-2019, 21:13
Their Behavior Is Not Hole-Hearted
Hawaii, Hospital, USA | Healthy | December 7, 2017
(I’m a young woman who was born with an innocent heart murmur that gets checked every few years; arrhythmia and mitral valve prolapse. I have recently suffered some strong heart palpitations that lasted an hour and left me exhausted and terrified that something’s wrong. After spending the night at the hospital, and the X-ray, EKG, and echo tests showing nothing new, I’m sent to a cardiologist for a stress test. After being stuck with enough wires that I look like a cyborg and 20 hellish “Now a little bit faster” minutes on the treadmill, I float light-headedly over to the exam table and lie down while they check the scans.)
Nurse #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Oh, wow. [Nurse #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ], come look at this.”
Nurse #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Wow. I’ve never seen that outside of textbooks.”
Nurse #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Me, too! Hey, look at this part–”
(While the nurses are ‘oohing’ and ‘aahing’ at the picture on the screen, I’m staring at them with rising concern. My worry spikes when the doctor herself comes into the room, sees what they’re looking at, and proceeds to talk about it to them like she’s teaching a university lesson. Finally, I raise one of my trembling cyborg arms.)
Me: *weakly* “Um… excuse me?”
Doctor: *looking at me with surprise* “Yes?”
Me: “Is… is something wrong?”
Doctor: “Oh, no. You just have a hole in your heart.”
Me: “…I have a WHAT?”
Doctor: “But that’s not what’s causing your palpitations.”
Me: “It’s… not?”
Doctor: “Nope. It’s small and near the top of your heart; it shouldn’t be affecting you at all. It just happens sometimes when your heart muscle sinks to the bottom.”
Me: “Oh… okay. So there’s a hole in my heart, but… it’s not a problem. So it’s okay.
Doctor: “Yep. You can come back to keep an eye on it, though, just to make sure it doesn’t get any bigger.”
Me: “?!”
(That did not fill me with confidence, surprisingly. They never found a physical source for the palpitations, so eventually decided they were panic attacks, and I got to add ‘hole in the heart’ to my heart murmur repertoire.)
florida80
10-12-2019, 21:14
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Doesn’t Have 20/20 Psychiatry
Psychiatrist, USA | Healthy | December 7, 2017
(I’ve suffered from mental health issues since I was young, but I wasn’t able to do anything about it because my family has issues believing that mental illness is real. A few years ago, while I was in college, things got really bad so I finally tried to tell my parents about it. It took a few months of frustration and arguing, but I eventually managed to convince them it was actually an issue. They found a psychiatrist I could see and I was excited at first. I thought I’d be able to get some help! I’d hardly walked in the door before I realized there would be a problem.)
Psychiatrist: *shaking my hand* “So, how old are you?”
Me: “I’m turning 20 next month.”
Psychiatrist: *laughs* “20? You’re far too young to have any problems! Why are you even here?”
Me: “Young or not, I actually do have a lot of symptoms I’m worried about.”
(I hand her a list I’d made of symptoms I’d been struggling with, including some rather severe ones. She sets it aside after barely glancing at it.)
Psychiatrist: “Why don’t you just tell me about yourself? Do you have a boyfriend?”
Me: “Um… no, I don’t?”
Psychiatrist: “Why don’t we talk about that. It might be causing some of your ‘issues.’”
(It was only downhill from there. She dismissed all my symptoms, including my suicidal ideation and dissociation, as nothing more than school stress or lacking a boyfriend. I was told I just needed to get out of the house more often and make a few friends, something my parents insisted was a cure-all as well. Ever since that day, nothing I’ve said has been able to convince them otherwise. The only reason I’ve improved at all — and mostly stopped being suicidal — is because of my college’s psychologist. I’d only found out there was a doctor on campus afterwards, and after meeting him, he was shocked I’d managed to make it as far as I had without any help at all. I’m living back at home now that I’ve graduated, only until I can find work, but he helped me immensely while I was still enrolled. I don’t think I would have survived school without his help.)
florida80
10-13-2019, 20:37
Doesn’t Have 20/20 Psychiatry
Psychiatrist, USA | Healthy | December 7, 2017
(I’ve suffered from mental health issues since I was young, but I wasn’t able to do anything about it because my family has issues believing that mental illness is real. A few years ago, while I was in college, things got really bad so I finally tried to tell my parents about it. It took a few months of frustration and arguing, but I eventually managed to convince them it was actually an issue. They found a psychiatrist I could see and I was excited at first. I thought I’d be able to get some help! I’d hardly walked in the door before I realized there would be a problem.)
Psychiatrist: *shaking my hand* “So, how old are you?”
Me: “I’m turning 20 next month.”
Psychiatrist: *laughs* “20? You’re far too young to have any problems! Why are you even here?”
Me: “Young or not, I actually do have a lot of symptoms I’m worried about.”
(I hand her a list I’d made of symptoms I’d been struggling with, including some rather severe ones. She sets it aside after barely glancing at it.)
Psychiatrist: “Why don’t you just tell me about yourself? Do you have a boyfriend?”
Me: “Um… no, I don’t?”
Psychiatrist: “Why don’t we talk about that. It might be causing some of your ‘issues.’”
(It was only downhill from there. She dismissed all my symptoms, including my suicidal ideation and dissociation, as nothing more than school stress or lacking a boyfriend. I was told I just needed to get out of the house more often and make a few friends, something my parents insisted was a cure-all as well. Ever since that day, nothing I’ve said has been able to convince them otherwise. The only reason I’ve improved at all — and mostly stopped being suicidal — is because of my college’s psychologist. I’d only found out there was a doctor on campus afterwards, and after meeting him, he was shocked I’d managed to make it as far as I had without any help at all. I’m living back at home now that I’ve graduated, only until I can find work, but he helped me immensely while I was still enrolled. I don’t think I would have survived school without his help.)
florida80
10-13-2019, 20:37
You Might Need To Sit Down For This
Hospital, Pennsylvania, Pittsburgh, USA | Healthy | December 6, 2017
(My mom and I have just arrived at the emergency room after being sent from a local fast ER over possible appendicitis. While we are getting checked in, an older man arrives.)
Man: “I’m having chest pain and pain in my arm.”
Nurse: “We’re taking you back immediately, sir. Please get in this wheelchair.”
Man: “No thanks; I’m good to walk.”
Nurse: “Please, sir, take a seat in the wheelchair.”
Man: “No, I insist I’m good to walk.”
Mom: “Take a d*** seat in the chair. If you’re having a heart attack do you really want to be walking right now?”
(He sat in the chair and grumbled while they took him away.)
florida80
10-13-2019, 20:38
One Bjorn Every Minute
Family & Kids, Funny Names, home, New York, USA | Healthy | December 6, 2017
(My husband and I have chosen a name for our child that is rare in our area. We’ve also gone with an older variant of its spelling which has a near silent letter. For the sake of the story let’s say it is Bjorn. Our doctor’s office does confirmation calls for our newborn visits.)
Receptionist: “This is a reminder call from [Family Doctor]’s office that ‘Bejorn’ has an appointment tomorrow at nine am.”
Me: *repeating back as an excuse to give pronunciation* “Bjorn—” *j sounds like a y* “—appointment tomorrow at nine am. Got it. Thank you.”
(At the appointment the receptionist calls for ‘Bejorn.’ I ponder a moment if it is better to correct the pronunciation or let it go. I smile and decide to say something so it doesn’t continue to pop up.)
Me: “It’s actuality Bjorn with the j being a y sound.”
(The receptionist doesn’t seem put off and the rest of the visit goes smoothly. Our family doctor is already familiar with the name having also been the one to deliver him. I’m getting a rare moment of sleep when the office calls to confirm my newborn’s next appointment. The voicemail made me laugh.)
Receptionist: “Hi this is [Receptionist] from [Family Doctor]’s office calling to remind you that…” *long pause where you could almost hear them thinking* “…your SON has an appointment tomorrow at 11 am.”
(Well played.)
florida80
10-13-2019, 20:39
Hungary For Some Medicine
Budapest, Hospital, Hungary | Healthy | December 6, 2017
(When I left Germany for a semester abroad people warned me that every foreign student has at least one horror story to tell from their experience. This one is mine. I go to Hungary. All my classes are in English, and most of the people I interact with are fluent in either English or German, so while I only know the most basic Hungarian — introduction phrases, greetings, how to order food — my Hungarian is not good and I communicate in English most of the time. Two months into my stay, I wake up with massive pain in my ears, and they are wet, like liquid is coming out of them. I call my mother, a nurse, who tells me it might be a middle-ear inflammation and that I need to go see a doctor immediately. But since my European insurance only covers emergencies, I have not been to a doctor so far and have no GP in town. I start searching online for an English-speaking doctor I can go to. I eventually find out that my best bets are the so-called “emergency centres” of each town district, apparently some kind of doctors’ offices where you pay cash and later are reimbursed by your insurance company. I decide to call the centre of my district. The person who answers the phone hands me over to the doctor on call. I describe my symptoms and my suspected diagnosis and she tells me to come to them right away. I take a cab to the office, where I only find a nurse unable to speak English.)
Me: “Hi! I called earlier; I am here to see the doctor.”
Nurse: “No doctor!”
(With both of us using translator apps, we end up establishing that the doctor is not here and I will have to wait two hours. So, I wait in pain, cold, with my nose running like crazy, in the “waiting room,” a room completely empty except for one metal bench. The doctor arrives more than 90 minutes later. While she gathers her tools, I describe my symptoms again. As soon as I mention pain in the ears, she stops and turns around.)
Doctor: “You are in the wrong place. You need to see a specialist.”
Me: “I’m sorry, what? I told you all that on the phone; you told me to come here!”
Doctor: “No, you need to go to the hospital.”
(She gives me a paper that I hope describes the reason she is sending me away, and the name of a hospital. The hospital is way closer to my place than the emergency centre is and I am quite angry, sick and miserable as I am, that I wasted more than two hours when she could have told me to go there on the phone. But it is already past noon by now, on a Friday, so I hurry, as normal business hours will end soon. I reach the hospital. The receptionist, again not an English speaker, motions for me that I am in the wrong place.)
Me: *using my translator app* “I was told to come here!”
(The receptionist brings me inside where a nurse can translate for me that I need to go to another entrance, two buildings down. I thank them and am on my way. By now, I am suffering even worse. My head feels like it will split open, my ears just radiate pain, and my nose is basically dripping like a faucet. I reach the right entrance and hand the paper I got at the emergency centre to the receptionist.)
Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *pushes the paper back to me and talks fast Hungarian*
Me: “Please, I do not speak Hungarian. Beszelek nincs magyarul!”
(She turns around and ignores me. I use my translator, type in, “Hello. I think I have an middle ear infection. I need a doctor; can you help me?” and hope the app will not mess it up too bad. I show the result to her, but she just looks away. I try to hand her my phone so she can type an answer in the translator, but she pushes it away, too. She ignores all my other attempts of communication. In my desperation, I use my last resort: I call the emergency number. As I am in a European capital, they should have some people speaking English. I finally end up talking to someone that understands me. By now, I am desperate and crying.)
Me: “Hello! I hope you can help me; I need an English-speaking doctor. I went to the emergency centre in [District];they refused to treat me and sent me to [Hospital]. But here, they won’t treat me either, and no one can tell me why! Please, I am in pain; I need a doctor!”
Operator: “That is no problem. I will find the closest doctor! Hmm… Yes… Okay! You need to go to the emergency centre in [District].”
Me: “STOP! I WAS THERE! I JUST TOLD YOU THEY REFUSED TO TREAT ME!”
(I am full-on crying now. I collapse to the floor, sobbing. The foyer is empty except for the receptionist that still ignores me.)
Operator: *sounding angry* “You need to calm down! I cannot understand you when you shout! I told you where to go, so go there! Emergency centre in [District]!”
(Finally, someone notices me. While I disconnect the call, a young med student runs to me, offering her help, and asking me what is wrong. I hand her my paper, explain what I have just been through, and tell her that the receptionist refuses to tell me where to go or to communicate at all. She goes and talks to the receptionist and returns with another piece of paper.)
Student: “Everything is all right. Your doctor sent you here because the ENT-walk-in clinic is here. But the clinic closed at noon. So, you need to go to the surgical ENT-ward. It is really close. I’ll write down the address for you. You go in there, hand the receptionist there your papers, and they will bring you to a doctor.”
(The address is just around the corner from my building. I go there, but when I see the building I lose all hope. I am not standing in front of a hospital; I am standing in front of a fast food place. I just want to go home, but I know that I need pain meds and antibiotics, and the search for a doctor will not get easier on the weekend. So, I enter the next pharmacy I see.)
Me: “I am so sorry, but can you help me? I have been searching for a doctor for more than four hours now. I am in pain, but everyone refuses to treat me! They gave me this address at the hospital, but there is only [Fast Food Place] there! And I know what they say about antibiotics in cow-meat, but I’m pretty sure I need more than a burger right now!”
(The pharmacists rush into action. One leads me to a chair and brings me water while the other one starts using the phone.)
Pharmacist: “Okay, I just talked to the hospital and found out what’s wrong. You need to go to [Address] Square, not [Address] Street. It is about 200 meters down the road. They can help you. Come by after and let us know you were taken care of, sweetie!”
(I finally find the right building. The nurses of the ward won’t talk in English, but with the help of my papers they find me a doctor. He is amazing; he even types up my medical papers twice, one time in Hungarian and one time in English. He even allows me to come back to the ENT-ward the next week for my checkup, so I will not have to go through that trouble again. I go back to the pharmacy to get my meds and the pharmacists hug me and tell me to go home and rest. Sadly, that is not the end of the story. I feel way better after a while. Next Friday I return to the ward for my checkup 20 minutes after they open. I hand the nurses the papers the last doctor gave me, but they seem confused. My translator app message, “Hello, I am here for my checkup with [Doctor]!” is ignored again. A man in scrubs notices me.)
Man: “Can I help you?”
Me: “Yes, I was here last week, [Doctor] told me to come back for my checkup.”
(He talks to the nurses and turns back to me.)
Man: “Someone will be with you in a minute.”
(I sit down in front of the window of the cubicle the nurses sit in and start reading a book. I am in plain sight all the time. I eventually even finish my book. More than two hours have passed. Further communication with the nurses seems futile and I am considering what to do when the man from before comes around the corner again. He sees me, turns red, and starts shouting at the nurses in Hungarian.)
Man: “I am so sorry; a doctor will be with you in a second.”
(As it turns out, that man was the chief resident. My doctor from my last visit had been called out of the ward and the nurses were supposed to tell a different doctor to see to my checkup, but they did not. The other doctor was there in two minutes. I know that I cannot expect all locals to understand English when I am the foreigner in a country whose language I do not speak. But even if you do not have a common language, try to help. Get someone to translate, try to use translator apps, or even use hand movements. But please, do not just ignore a crying girl that is asking for your help!)
florida80
10-13-2019, 20:39
Acting Narcotic Robotic
North Carolina, Pharmacy, Raleigh, USA | Healthy | December 5, 2017
(I have an invisible chronic illness, Chronic Pancreatitis, that was caused by complications from gallbladder surgery a few years back. I am on tons of medication on a daily basis just so I can function normally and work a demanding full-time job. One of these medications is a narcotic; because of the multitudes who abuse it, a lot of judgement is passed on those who legitimately need it.)
Me: “Hi there! Just need to get this filled.”
(I hand my prescription over to a pharmacist that I don’t recognize. These prescriptions are very specific for when you can fill them, and are dated accordingly. Everything on mine is legit, as I literally just left the doctor’s office.)
Pharmacist: *takes a long time to look at it, and keeps looking back up at me* “Are you sure it’s time to fill this again?”
Me: “Um… Well, yeah. I just picked that up from my doctor, and the fill date is listed. You can also check your system, because this is the only pharmacy I use.”
(The pharmacist gives me a weird look and says it’ll be ten minutes, so I go sit down to wait. A few minutes later I hear her on the phone, and I don’t really pay any attention until I hear her say my name. Turns out she is calling my doctor’s office to verify it, the whole time shooting nasty sideways looks at me. Okay, totally fine; I know they have to be careful and check these things, so I brush it off. A couple minutes later when I walk up to the counter to pick it up:)
Pharmacist: “You know, this stuff is really bad for you. You shouldn’t be taking this.”
Me: *stunned* “Well, it helps me stay upright so I can work. Haha.”
Pharmacist: “My sister was on this and it was horrible. I would have to tell her all the time about how bad it was and that she had to get off of it, and she was addicted. It was really bad and she had such a hard time. You shouldn’t be taking this!”
Me: “Well, I’m going to let my doctor decide that. Can I check out now, please?”
(I understand how many people get hooked on narcotics, and the rising epidemic in this country, but they do have benefits that people like myself need. I don’t even think this lady was worried about the bigger social issue; I think she just got it into her head that it was a horrible medication from her bad experience with her sister. I’m sorry, lady; you are a pharmacist who should know better, and until you gain your medical doctorate and start practicing gastroenterology, keep your opinions about my treatment to yourself!)
florida80
10-13-2019, 20:40
Will Be Getting Ribbed About That Forever
Health & Body, Medical Center, Physical, The Netherlands | Healthy | December 5, 2017
(My uncle has some work-related back pains for which his GP refers him to a physical therapist. The therapy he needs is pretty painful, so when he comes home from a session one day saying the therapist has gotten him good, his wife — my aunt — thinks nothing of it and goes out running errands. When she gets home after a few hours and calls to my uncle to help her with the groceries, she notices he’s moving very carefully, wincing, and not breathing well. When she asks what’s wrong, my uncle tells her his ribs on one side have been hurting bad since therapy, and it isn’t getting better despite taking some painkillers. My aunt gently prods his ribs, eliciting a yelp. Knowing my uncle is pretty tough, my aunt gets worried and pulls up his shirt, uncovering a HUGE blossoming bruise on one side of his back. My aunt freaks out and orders my uncle to get in the car NOW because they’re going to the hospital. On the way there, she gives my uncle the third degree: What did he do? Did he fall? Did he get into a fight? What is he hiding from her? My uncle swears nothing happened; he went to therapy and came back, his ribs have been hurting since, and that’s that. The doctor at the hospital takes one look at the bruise and orders an x-ray, which reveals several BROKEN ribs. The doctor also interrogates my uncle, but gets the same response: all he did was go to physical therapy for his back pains.)
ER Doctor: “Did the therapist work on your ribs as well?”
Uncle: “Well, yes. Wait, are you saying…?”
ER Doctor: “That you should get a different therapist? Yes.”
(My uncle made a full recovery and got a different therapist who cured his back pains. The therapist who broke his ribs is still in practice and also coaches a youth sports team. I was on that team for several years and now hate sports. The guy received a Royal Ribbon for his investment in youth sports.)
florida80
10-13-2019, 20:40
That’s One Ticked Off Dog
Illinois, Non-Dialogue, USA, Vet | Healthy | December 5, 2017
I was working the other day when a client called in frantically about her dog having a tick on it’s leg. I asked the doctor if we had time to fit her in and he agreed to see the dog.
The client arrives on time and we get her and her dog into an examination room. I happen to overhear her telling the vet that she had tried burning the tick off, tweezing it, and pulling it off.
The doctor looked at it for a few moments, looked up, and said, “Ma’am, this is a mole.”
florida80
10-13-2019, 20:41
Not Insured Against Bad Attitudes
Medical Office, Norfolk, USA, Virginia | Healthy | December 4, 2017
(I am currently working front desk at a private practice doctor’s office. I answer phones, schedule patients, do referrals, etc. This exchange occurs over the phone.)
Me: “Thank you for calling [Doctor]’s office. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you?”
Patient: *with a snarky attitude* ”My name is [Patient] and I need to know if my medication has been approved by my insurance.”
(Sometimes certain medications need a prior authorization in order for the pharmacy to dispense the med. I tell the woman no problem and get her info so I can pull up her chart.)
Me: “Okay, ma’am, it looks like it’s still being processed right now.”
Patient: *with even nastier attitude* “This is ridiculous. I need my medication.”
(I then look to see what medication she is talking about and it turns out it’s Zantac. This is an over-the-counter medicine that you can buy at any grocery or drug store.)
Me: “I’m sorry about that, ma’am, but PAs can take anywhere from one to six weeks. Sometimes medications that can be purchased over-the-counter take longer.”
Patient: *yelling* “I KNOW IT’S OVER THE COUNTER BUT I WILL NOT SPEND MONEY WHEN I CAN GET MY INSURANCE TO PAY FOR IT! I NEED MY MEDICATION NOW AND YOU BETTER DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS.”
(I then forwarded the call to the doctor’s nurse who informed her that she would get to it as soon as possible, but since the patient’s medication was available over-the-counter, she has to work on the others that aren’t. She also gave her a list of stores and other medications that will help her problem if she needs it immediately. Seriously, just go to the store and get some.)
florida80
10-13-2019, 20:44
When Your Biggest Headache Is The Doctor
Hospital, Ohio, USA | Healthy | December 4, 2017
(I have chronic, crippling migraines. Sometimes I have to go the ER for a shot. On one such visit, the doctor came in, saw me in my floppy hat and sunglasses, and says:)
Doctor: “Don’t you think that’s a little ridiculous?”
(The migraine has my brain muddled. All I can say is:)
Me: “What?”
(He went into a rather long rant about the dark room, my hat, and my sunglasses. Then he left the room.)
Me: *to my husband* “What just happened?”
Husband: “I don’t know. He’s doing something at the desk now.”
(The doctor returned after about twenty minutes.)
Doctor: “I just checked your record. You’ve been here seventeen times in the last month.”
Me: “No. I haven’t been here for two months at least.”
Doctor: “Don’t lie. I saw the record. It’s obvious you just want the drugs.”
(He continued berating me for being a drug-seeker until I was crying hard. Then, he told me to get out. I had a physical therapy appointment two days later. After what the ER doctor had said to me, I was nervous about interacting with people, but finally got the courage to ask:)
Me: “When someone checks my record on the computer can they see what a visit was for?”
Therapist: “What do you mean?”
Me: “I was in the ER a couple of days ago. The doctor looked at my record and accused of making seventeen visits to the ER seeking drugs. The only thing at [Medical Complex] that I’ve used recently was my physical therapy. Doesn’t my record say what the visits were for?”
Therapist: *in shock* “Yes! It will definitely say if it was physical therapy, your doctor, or the ER.”
(Then, she showed me my record on the computer with physical therapy listed eighteen times, including that day’s visit. I didn’t tell her how bad the ER doc made me feel or how sick I was before the migraine went away on its own, but she decided to report him anyway. It must have been the final straw because when I had to go to the ER about four months later I discovered that doctor had been fired.)
florida80
10-13-2019, 20:45
Getting Hysterical-ectomy
Maryland, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | December 4, 2017
(I am a lesbian, and I occasionally experience extremely severe symptoms when on my period, for up to 5 days, such as a complete inability to eat without vomiting, severe pain, and on a couple occasions, seizures. After talking it over with my wife, I decide to go in to speak to my gynecologist and ask her about how to go about getting a hysterectomy. The trouble starts right from when I attempt to book an appointment. After getting through hold and basic introductions.)
Me: “I would like to schedule a consultation with [Doctor] about having a hysterectomy.”
Receptionist: “Okay! Just so you know, if you have a hysterectomy, you won’t be able to have children afterwards!”
Me: “I know. That’s fine.”
(The receptionist then schedules the consultation without any more fuss. On the day of the appointment, I arrive with my wife so that we can both talk to the gynecologist.)
Doctor: “I don’t think that this is a bad idea given your symptoms, but you need to understand that if you go through with this you will never, ever be able to have babies. There is no way to undo it if you decide you want kids.”
Me: “I know. That’s fine.”
Doctor: “We could schedule it a year or two out so you could have one last baby before your surgery.”
Me: “I have never had children.”
Doctor: “So you want to wait—”
Me: “Shut up and listen to me. I am gay. The only penises that ever go inside me are made of plastic. I will not be having children either way. I don’t care. We can adopt. [Wife] could have artificial insemination. It doesn’t matter.”
Doctor: “If you say so…”
(My gynecologist continued to flare at me and mention children several times, and even tried to show me pictures of her own kids, while she was recommending surgeons to me and helping me schedule with one of them. With the surgeon, he also listed all the possible side effects, but a simple “I understand” was all it took to convince him, luckily.)
florida80
10-13-2019, 20:45
Discharging Hard Truths
Hospital, Non-Dialogue, Ohio, USA | Healthy | December 3, 2017
I was in an ER cubicle patiently waiting for a doctor to be free to treat my migraine, which is considered low-priority in triage. It was a very busy night, but amazingly quiet so my headache wasn’t exacerbated by sounds. And then, HE arrived in an ambulance.
We were able to hear that he had gotten drunk, climbed onto the bar’s roof, and fallen through a skylight.
Though he was at least 40 yards from me, his continual yells were overwhelming, causing me pain, confusion, and dizziness. Because of that, I couldn’t understand most of what he yelled, but did manage to hear him demanding more alcoholic drinks and trying to get out of bed, and that they had to restrain him.
By the time a doctor went to examine him, I was crying from pain and at the end of my ability to cope. The doctor began talking to the drunk: “And what’s going on with you tonight?”
I snapped and yelled, “HE’S DRUNK AND STUPID!”
The entire ward went silent and then we heard giggles. The doctor bustled into my cubicle, followed in minutes by a nurse with a syringe.
Within fifteen minutes of my outburst, I had been medicated and discharged
florida80
10-13-2019, 20:46
Let’s Not Split Hairs About Who It Is For
Medical Office, Non-Dialogue, Ohio, USA | Healthy | December 2, 2017
Because of family history, I need a specific medical test every five years. My husband always accompanies me to the pre-test appointments. The doctor is mostly bald and does not like jokes about it.
Please note that my husband has been balding for quite a few years. A few years before this appointment, I had made my husband a baseball hat, which said, “Wish you were hair.” I hadn’t realized he was wearing it.
The doctor took one look at the hat, got a sour face, and said, “Is that meant for me?”
At first we were too startled to say anything. Then my husband removed his hat to show his own balding head. He and I burst out laughing. After his own startled pause, the doctor joined in.
florida80
10-13-2019, 20:47
Thyroid Void
Medical Office, USA | Healthy | December 1, 2017
(I have hypothyroidism, which has been successfully controlled with medication for several years. Over a couple months, however, I notice that some of my symptoms are returning. I call my doctor, and she says she will do a blood test. I go to her office for the results.)
Doctor: “Okay, so your thyroid level is at 4.9.”
(The maximum is five.)
Me: “Well, no wonder I’ve been feeling sick! That’s very high.”
Doctor: “Oh, no. You’re fine. Five is the top of the normal range. You’re still under that.”
Me: “But a lot of my old symptoms are coming back. I can’t sleep at night, I’m tired during the day, I’m freezing cold all the time—”
Doctor: “You’re under stress. It’s normal.”
Me: “I HAVE GAINED 20 POUNDS IN TWO MONTHS!”
Doctor: “Well, you just need to go on a diet.”
Me: “I exercise five days a week, and I eat my fruits and veggies! I don’t feel like myself. I know my body, and I need a medication change!”
Doctor: “Well, I’m not giving you one, because you’re normal.”
(She tells me to exercise more and gives me a vitamin supplement. I fume, but take it. A couple months later, I move to a different state. I go in for an appointment with my new doctor.)
New Doctor: “I’ve been reviewing your test results from your previous doctor, and I noticed your thyroid is at 4.9. That’s very high. Are you feeling okay at that number?”
Me: “Not at all! I tried to tell her, but she wouldn’t listen. She kept saying it was normal.”
New Doctor: “I’m not surprised. Older guidelines allow it to get that high, but I’ve found that my patients feel better when their thyroid is at three or under. I’m going to order some more blood work.”
(The new blood test shows that my number skyrocketed to a six. My new doctor changes my medication immediately. It takes a year and three medicine changes to get it right. It turned out that my thyroid number had been creeping up for a couple years, and my old doctor had just ignored it. I’m happy to report that I’m much better now!)
florida80
10-13-2019, 20:48
It Takes More Than Money To Clear A Bill
Columbia, Medical Office, South Carolina, USA | Healthy | December 1, 2017
(I get about a $3,000 bill from a doctor I had seen several months prior. I am confused because I know my insurance had paid it. I call the billing dept. but get no answer and leave a message. I forget about it until the next month when the bill comes again. Once again, I call, leave a message, and forget about it. Then I get a letter threatening to send me to a collection agency. I call my insurance company to double check. They tell me that not only have they paid it, but had a duplicate charge under a different account number that was of course denied. I start calling every other day. The office phones aren’t open until 10 am and they shut them down at 3:30 pm. I either get a recording and leave a message or the receptionist tells me everyone is in a meeting. This goes on for over three weeks. Then I get another threatening letter. I even go to the office in person but am told everyone is in a meeting and no one can talk to me. At this point I have had it. I wait until 10 pm at night. I call and get the voicemail system. When it says press “1” for nurse, I do so and leave a detailed, angry message that NO ONE will return my calls, I am being threatened with being sent to a collection agency for a bill that was paid, and someone better call me back or I am filing fraud charges with the insurance company and talking to a lawyer. I hang up and call back and do it again after pressing a number for a different department. I go through the entire employee directory. I do this for almost two hours and leave dozens of messages on EVERY SINGLE EMPLOYEE’S voicemail. I then call the doctor’s emergency after-hours line and leave the same message there. The next morning, at 10:01, I call the office. The receptionist recognizes my voice.)
Receptionist: “Yes, ma’am, I have the office manager here for you” *transfers me*
Manager: “Good morning, Mrs. [My Name]. I was just about to call you.”
Me: “Yeah, I bet you were.”
Manager: *sheepishly* “Yeah, everyone is talking about the messages you left, especially the doctor.”
Me: “Well, it’s not like you left me much choice.”
(She apologizes and explains. The guy who was handling the bills was creating fake patient accounts and double billing the insurance companies. Most didn’t catch it, paid the doctor, and then the guy stole the money. They fired him but have such a paperwork mess to clean up and had to gather the evidence to convict him that they didn’t have time to call the patients.)
Me: “I understand, but that is no excuse. You are sending me letters threatening to send me to a collection agency.”
Manager: “What?! Crap, the computers are printing those out automatically. We didn’t know any had been mailed out.”
Me: “Yeah, well they are and you better start answering these calls because you have some very peeved off patients who, like me, are calling lawyers.”
(She apologized again and told me that my account had been cleared up. I wonder, though, about all the others who just kept calling and getting nowhere.)
florida80
10-13-2019, 20:50
A Relaxed Attitude To Drugs
England, Hospital, UK | Healthy | December 1, 2017
(I am a medical student. This is my first ever interaction in a hospital setting. The patient has been admitted for a serious lung issue, and is due to return home. It proceeds well, until it is time to round off the conversation:)
Me: “So, I’ve been told you’re being discharged today; is that correct?”
Patient: “Yes, that’s right. I’m going to go and see my friend when I get out. She’s really stressed.”
Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Do you have anything nice planned?”
Patient: “We’re going to bake some weed brownies. That should help us relax!” *laughs*
Me: “Well, at least you’re not smoking it!” *nervous laughter*
(Interesting start to medicine. I’m glad she took my comment well. I just wasn’t expecting it!)
florida80
10-13-2019, 20:51
Going Toe-To-Toe With The GP
Medical Office, Oklahoma, Tulsa, USA | Healthy | November 30, 2017
(I have a horrible ingrown toenail. My GP determines that surgery is necessary. He is right, as after half of it is cut away, I still have a normal toenail remaining. The surgery is done under general anesthesia, a move I thought was overkill, but it is a success. Some years later I am seeing a podiatrist about the same problem with the other foot and the doctor concludes the same treatment. I tell him about the first surgery.)
Doctor: “They gave you general anesthesia? That’s ridiculous. Was it a GP?”
Me: “I thought it was extreme. Yes, he was my GP.”
Doctor: “Figures. GP’s don’t know how to anesthetize a toe. Okay, let’s get this taken care of today.”
(He sets me up for surgery, sticks a needle in the base of my toe and injects me. After a bit he uses something pointy to test my toe.)
Doctor: “There, you shouldn’t be feeling anything.”
Me: “I can feel that quite easily. Try again.” *I look away so he knows I’m no cheating by watching* “Yeah, I can still feel it.”
Doctor: “Hmm. Let’s get you some more anesthesia.”
(After a bit, it’s still not numb. I’m suddenly feeling a great lack of confidence after hearing his short diatribe about GPs.)
Doctor: “Well, on a few rare individuals, the main nerve for that part of the toe runs up the wrong side of the toe. Let me see if that’s it.”
(Lucky for him (and me) that turned out to be exactly the case. I still get a wry grin thinking about him complaining that another doctor couldn’t just numb my toe.)
florida80
10-13-2019, 20:54
Expecting A Faint Chance
Hospital, Israel, Tel Aviv | Healthy | November 30, 2017
(I recently fractured my wrist and hand in a bad fall. I am seeing my doctor and a follow-up appointment. Due to being unable to drive myself, my boyfriend drives me and stays while they draw blood. It’s important to note I’m only 1.60 m and he is a large man, over 2 m tall.)
Doctor: “Well, the results look good, no infections, and the x-rays show your hand and wrist are healing well. Oh, and congratulations.”
Me: “For being clumsy? Or having good bones?”
Doctor: “No… congratulations.”
Boyfriend: “For what?”
Doctor: “You’re expecting, or did you not know?”
Me: “Expecting what?”
Doctor: “A baby. You’re pregnant. We ran the results twice. You’re going to have a baby.”
(While I tried to process being pregnant, my boyfriend stood up, then promptly fainted, landing face first on the floor and leaving a nasty bruise on his forehead. Now we have a great story to tell our future child about how their big, strong father fainted when he heard the news!)
florida80
10-13-2019, 20:55
Truly Acting The Part
College & University, England, Essex, UK | Healthy | November 30, 2017
(I am a paramedic student. As part of my training, we run simulated scenarios with one, two, or four students and actor(s) to be the patient (and bystanders). We have a scenario where I and another student have to respond to a man who has attempted suicide and slit both his wrists. While we’re treating him I drop a bandage and a few members of my class giggle. The actor, being the little legend he is, responds by saying:)
Actor: “All those people are laughing at me.”
(I had to struggle not to laugh while my partner, a seasoned EMT who is getting her UK cert, reassured him that he was just seeing things.)
florida80
10-13-2019, 20:56
Anti-Antibiotics
Massachusetts, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | November 29, 2017
(I have a mild immune deficiency. This makes me highly susceptible to severe sinus infections. This also means that only antibiotics administered within the first week of symptoms will quickly cure my sinus infections. Anything else does nothing and it will take several months for my immune system to fight off the infection. This is well-documented.)
Doctor: “It seems your daughter’s infections are chronic. I’m going to prescribe your daughter [Medication that relies on and boosts the immune cells already present] and ask that you check back to tell me if it helped.”
Mom: “No. You have prescribed my daughter this medication and those like it before and it does nothing. She needs antibiotics.”
Doctor: “Can you try this medication for a few days? We ought not to jump right to antibiotics.”
Mom: “This is another thing you have told us to do that we have tried. No, it does not help at all.”
Doctor: “You cannot just press me for antibiotics! They’re not good for long-term health.”
Mom: “Listen to me. I know that you think I am one of those parents who just demands that doctors give my kid antibiotics for every little sniffle. I am not. I am insisting on antibiotics because they are the only thing that will stop my daughter from having to go through months of misery, pain, and exhaustion from sinus infections! This is not an exaggeration; it really does take that long. And your immune booster medication does not help much because hers is too compromised for the effect to make a difference! I would love to go through the documentation proving all of this, if you require it. But I am absolutely not leaving here having wasted my daughter’s and my time to go spend my money on a medication that will not help her avoid a long term and awful illness.”
Doctor: “Oh. Um… I have to step out for a bit. Um… you really shouldn’t over-rely on antibiotics. Be careful.”
Mom: *shoots [Doctor] a death glare*
(Fortunately, this was enough to get [Doctor] to prescribe me antibiotics. Sure enough, I was ready to go back to school by the next day and was totally free of infection after three days. My mom soon requested to never see that doctor again, which was honored. Since being guaranteed to get the medication I need as soon as possible, I have not needed to take antibiotics often and also get sick much less than before.)
florida80
10-13-2019, 20:57
Symptoms May Include Death And Sarcasm
Clinic, Russia, Sarcasm, St. Petersburg | Healthy | November 29, 2017
(Back in college I spent a summer living in Russia. Midway through my stay I came down with strep throat. This is the first time I’ve had it since I was a kid, when I got it yearly. My program director takes me to a clinic that specializes in treating foreigners. After diagnosing me, the doctor comes back into my room with a pile of medication, none of which I recognize. Since I take other medications, I ask him if there are drug interactions I should be aware of. He proceeds to take the paper inserts out of every box he has and read them. After a few minutes he looks up and says:)
Doctor: “I don’t know; if the reaction is bad, stop taking them?”
Me: “Great. So, if I die, I’ll stop taking them.”
(Thankfully I never had a reaction but I still have no idea what it was that he gave me. Bonus? My host mother was convinced I got sick from drinking cold beverages in the hot weather
florida80
10-13-2019, 20:59
Got More Than A Chip On Your Shoulder
Dentist, Maryland, USA | Healthy | November 29, 2017
(I go to my routine semi-annual dental check-up, and tell my dentist that I think I have chipped a molar, as there is a rough patch on my tooth that keeps catching my tongue, causing it to blister and bleed on a regular basis.)
Dentist: “Oh, yes, there is a small chip.”
Me: “Can we get it fixed?”
Dentist: “Insurance won’t cover the procedure as it’s ‘cosmetic.’”
Me: “It’s literally causing my tongue to bleed. This chip is painful, and it’s actually causing injury to me. I think it’s more than cosmetic.”
Dentist: “Oh, you’ll be fine. Just don’t play with it.”
(This went on for months. I kept asking him to fix the chip, and he kept refusing. I also got opinions from other dentists that said the chip needed to be filled, but my dentist still refused. Ultimately I switched to a new dentist due to a change in insurance; the new dentist took one look at the chip and had me scheduled for an appointment to get it filled a few days later.)
New Dentist: “Yeah, let’s get this taken care of; you shouldn’t have to suffer with this chip causing you pain and open sores. Plus, it’s deep enough that your dentin is exposed. If we leave this open any longer, your whole tooth would be in danger of forming an abscess, which would need a root canal to fix.”
Me: *in shocked disbelief* “My tooth could have rotted away from the inside out because my old dentist couldn’t be bothered to give me a filling the size of a pin-head?!”
New Dentist: “Yep.”
florida80
10-13-2019, 21:00
Cancer Is A Crime
California, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | November 28, 2017
(I’ve been diagnosed with cancer and am on numerous medications, including morphine and oxycodone for the pain I am in. I’m pretty skinny and pale and not looking healthy after six months of chemotherapy. I go to my normal pharmacy with my paper prescription to get filled and a new pharmacy tech, or at least one I’ve never seen in the six months I’ve frequented this place, greets me. I hand him my paperwork, and he starts to type in into his computer, and then looks at me and says:)
Pharmacy Tech: “I see you’ve been getting these pills for a few months now, and you’re refilling them on the same date every month. You can’t fill this if you’re just going to sell them on the street for your drug money.”
(My jaw drops, and he hands my prescription back to me.)
Pharmacy Tech: “I’m calling the police now, sir, so don’t run off.”
(He then goes to the phone and starts dialing. The pharmacist sees me through their little window and waves at me, I see her a lot when I’m there and she’s helped consult me on the timing of taking my meds so I don’t make myself sick. I wave her over.)
Pharmacist: “Hi!”
Me: “You may want to talk to your new guy. He’s calling the cops on me.”
(She turns around and sees him on the phone.)
Pharmacist: “What are you doing?”
Pharmacy Tech: *covers the receiver* “This junkie is trying to get pills to sell. I’m calling the cops.”
(She rips the phone out of his hand and yells at him.)
Pharmacist: “He has cancer, you idiot!”
(He went pale. She sent him away and hung up the phone. I got my refills, and I never saw that guy again.)
florida80
10-13-2019, 21:01
Digger-ing Yourself Into A Hole
Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | November 28, 2017
(I am at the pharmacy to pick up a prescription that was called in.)
Tech: “Can I help you?”
Me: “I need to pick up for [Last Name].”
Tech: *types into computer* “First name?”
Me: “Digger.”
Tech: “Digger?”
Me: “Yes.”
(The tech give me a funny look and goes into the back. He returns with the medicine in hand.)
Tech: “So, you can’t drive while taking this. Also, you cannot drink alcohol while taking this. I will need you to sign saying you understand those restrictions.”
Me: *laughing* “No problem.”
Tech: “I need a date of birth.”
Me: “October 2015. I don’t know the day.”
Tech: “You don’t know your child’s birthdate?”
Me: “It’s not my child.”
Tech: “I’m not going to be able to fill this.”
Me: “I need the pharmacist. Now.”
(The pharmacist comes out and asks what the problem is.)
Tech: “She’s picking up this medicine but she doesn’t know the birthdate and then she says it isn’t her child.”
Pharmacist: *takes bag and reads label* “Look at this name.”
(The tech looks and still doesn’t seem to understand.)
Pharmacist: “The patient is named Digger K9 [Last Name]. That means it’s for her dog. Lots of people don’t know their dog’s birthday.”
Tech: “How was I supposed to know?”
Pharmacist: “I’ll finish this. Go wait in the office for me.”
(When I went to get his refill, the same tech handled the transaction. He commented that it was a really big dose for a toddler. Pretty sure whatever the pharmacist said — it didn’t help.)
florida80
10-13-2019, 21:01
You Suck(tion)!
Clinic, North Carolina, USA | Healthy | November 28, 2017
(I have a rare disease for which I have to have blood work done every few months. I always get it done at the local health department because I don’t have insurance and labs are too expensive elsewhere. They used to have a phlebotomist on staff who was quite good at her job, but she retired around a year before this incident. After she retired, for a while, my tests were done by whichever nurse happened to be available. On this day, one of the nurses who has drawn my blood a few times before is training a different nurse on lab procedures, so the trainee nurse is actually the one doing the draw. I’m often a problematic draw because my veins are small, and sometimes my blood doesn’t come out. This happens after several other mishaps, including the trainee nurse not noticing all of the tests I need to have done, having to remind both of them that one of my samples has to be frozen, and the trainee nurse failing to draw from my left arm and having to try my right arm instead. As the trainee nurse is drawing my blood, she’s pulling up on the needle in a way that makes it hurt like h***, but I’m kind of used to it, so I’m just responding to the talkative trainer nurse and not looking at my arm. Finally the trainee nurse finishes filling the last vial and removes the needle. Something feels a little odd, so I look down to see blood POURING from my arm. I’ve been getting labs done regularly for about 13 years at this point, and I’ve never seen anything like that, so I’m a bit alarmed.)
Me: “What the h***?!
Trainee Nurse: “…”
Trainer Nurse: “Oh! *to trainee nurse* “Looks like you broke the suction…” *to me* “Uh, she broke the suction… But that’s okay! It’s perfectly fine, just looks bad. Don’t worry!”
Me: “Uh…”
Trainee Nurse: “It happens sometimes.”
Me: “That has NEVER happened to me before. But okay, sure.”
(That’s not something that just “happens sometimes”; that’s something you DO.)
florida80
10-13-2019, 21:02
Extra Nerve-ous
Costa Rica, Dentist | Healthy | November 27, 2017
(I’m deadly afraid of dentists, but one day I finally get the courage to go see one for a routine check up. They tell me I need to get my wisdom teeth removed and we set up an appointment.)
Me: “Please be patient.”
Dentist: “This will not hurt at all in a few minutes, after the anaesthetic kicks off.”
(He gives me three injections. A few minutes later he pokes me with an instrument.)
Me: “Aaaah!”
Dentist: “Okay, more anaesthetic.”
(He gives me another injection, waits a few more minutes, then pokes me with an instrument.)
Me: “OUCH, OUCH, OUCH!”
Dentist: “Don’t lie; it doesn’t hurt.”
Me: “Please, I swear it does.”
Dentist: “I can’t give you any more anaesthetic. Go home and come back next week. Take a valium.”
(One week and one valium later:)
Dentist: “I gave you all the anaesthetic I can. Stop crying for nothing.”
(In extreme pain, I manage to get to the opening of the area around the tooth, then he begins pulling.)
Me: “No more! Please stop!”
Dentist: “Just a bit more. Let me pull some more. It doesn’t hurt.”
Me: *refusing to open my mouth any more* “No.”
(The dentist even called my mom, and she screamed at me to stop being a wuss. Still, I refused to get anything else and he was forced to close the gap and let me go. He was kind enough to recommend another dentist with access to morphine. Thankfully the new dentist thought that my problem was probably that I had an extra nerve around that area. He gave me a normal anaesthetic where he thought it was and took out the tooth without so much as a peep from me. The lesson is: trust yourself.)
florida80
10-13-2019, 21:02
Insulin And Out
Hospital, UK | Healthy | November 27, 2017
(I have been admitted to hospital for fainting spells. I am also diabetic and use injections. I am currently on my period, and for whatever reason I tend to bruise more often from the injections during this time.)
Nurse: *coming in while I’m getting changed* “Okay, this shouldn’t take very long. At most you should be— What are those?”
Me: “What are what?”
Nurse: *now angry and pointing at my thighs* “THOSE!”
Me: “Bruises, from insulin injections.”
(It looks like she doesn’t believe me as she turns and leaves. I have an MRI and CT scan, and now they need to do some blood tests. I am given some forms, which have already been filled out, but I’m asked to check to see if there is anything that has been missed. After the blood has been taken, a new medical officer comes in with my forms.)
Medical Officer: “Are you all right, dear? We just need to make sure everything is right before we do the tests.”
Me: “I already checked them and they’re fine.”
Medical Officer: “Yes, but we need more than just the medication you have been prescribed. We also need other drugs you may have taken recently.”
Me: “Again, already on the form.”
Medical Officer: “Any not-necessarily-legal drugs.”
Me: “What do you mean?”
Medical Officer: “I may as well be open. Now, there’s no need to be ashamed, but we really need to know what drugs you are addicted to, and for how long. They could be what is causing your condition.”
Me: “I’m not on anything like that. What is this– Oh. Have any of the nurses spoken to you about my legs?”
Medical Officer: “There was an observation made that you use your legs for the injection site, yes.”
Me: “And did they also tell you that I’m diabetic as well, and that’s where I administer my insulin?” *shows her my legs*
Medical Officer: *doubtful* “That’s a lot of bruising for mere insulin injections.”
Me: “If I had been admitted a week ago, they wouldn’t be there. I’m on my period, and my injections always cause bruising while I’m on my period.”
(She still looks doubtful, but leaves me in peace. I’m really shook up by it and despite these two being the only people who think I’m a drug addict, I opt to leave and be seen elsewhere. I never find out the cause of my fainting, but it disappears within a month. Six months later, I’m back at said hospital for retinal screening. Lo and behold, the woman who sees me is the second one mentioned above. She recognises me.)
Medical Officer: “Oh, small world. How have you—”
Me: *lifting my skirt* “Do you see any bruises now? Do I look like a junkie now?”
Medical Officer: *blushing* “Oh, umm. No. I’m sorry about jumping to—”
Me: “Just save it. If you’ve been given this responsibility, after how you treated me, you can stuff it!”
(I then left and arranged to have all future screening done at a hospital nearly an hour away. It really makes you wonder why these two women, out of all the people who saw me that day, believed I was a drug addict because of bruising on one of the most common areas diabetics inject.)
florida80
10-13-2019, 21:03
Calibrations Always Go Up And Down
Hospital, USA, Utah | Healthy | November 27, 2017
(It’s the night shift in the hospital lab. I’m the scientist doing the nightly calibrating of our analyzers’ drug screen when the ER requests a drug screen, which I can’t run until I finish my calibrations; once I start, I can’t stop. We tell them it will be done as soon as possible, and we’ll rush the sample, which they’re okay with. Meanwhile, some plumbers are working on one of our sinks. The lead scientist comes to my bench to check on my progress and get a better ETA to tell the doctors.)
Lead Scientist: “How’s it coming over here?”
Me: “I’m almost ready. I just need to do cocaine and marijuana.”
Lead Scientist: *without missing a beat* “[My Name], you know better than to mix uppers and downers.”
(The plumbers all went silent and turned to look at us. I hope they didn’t think we were actually doing drugs.)
florida80
10-13-2019, 21:03
Something Doesn’t Clicky
Hospital, UK | Healthy | November 26, 2017
(I am fifteen and fortunate enough to be able to attend the birth of my baby sister with my dad. This takes place only an hour after she is born.)
Doctor: “Now, Mrs. [Mum], is it all right if a student doctor does the examination on your baby?”
Mum: “Yes, of course; they have to practice!”
Doctor: “[Student]! You can come in now!
Student: *examines my baby sister and then looks worried* “I’m going to refer [Sister] here. She is exhibiting signs of clicky hips.”
Mum: “Should we be worried? [My Name] didn’t have any of that. Is it going to affect her as she gets older?!”
Student: “It’s likely she’ll just have a little fabric harness. It’s easily corrected.”
(Two weeks later we are sitting in a clinic room in the hospital waiting for the doctor. My mum sits next to a lady with a toddler and a baby not much older than my sister.)
Lady: “Hello, why are you here?”
Mum: “We’ve been referred. Apparently, [Sister] has clicky hips.”
Lady: *looks surprised* “Same here! Did you have [Student] examine her?”
Mum: “Yes, that was him!”
Lady: “I’ve talked to three other ladies who’ve been referred, and each of their babies have absolutely nothing wrong. I’m betting it’s the same for our two!”
(It turned out the student had referred about twenty mothers over the two days he’d been in the department, and none of their babies had clicky hips!)
florida80
10-13-2019, 21:04
Has To Be Some Kind Of Record
Hospital, USA, Wisconsin | Healthy | November 25, 2017
Customer: “I need my birth record in order to request a new Social Security card, because I don’t have a copy of my birth certificate.”
(This is a fairly common request, so I nod as I look over his Release of Information to make sure all the fields have been completed. Before I get to the end, he adds:)
Customer: “I wasn’t actually born at this hospital. Does that matter?”
(Yes, it matters. He left empty-handed.)
florida80
10-13-2019, 21:04
County The Ways
California, Clinic, USA | Healthy | November 24, 2017
(I work for a non-profit medical clinic. Because the county we operate in provides a pretty broad range of services, we have a lot of patients who labor under the belief that we are associated with the county. We are not and never have been. I overhear my colleague who is working the front desk engaging with a patient.)
Patient: “So you’re part of the county, right?”
Colleague: “No, we are in no way associated with the county.”
Patient: “Oh, so you contract with them?”
Colleague: “No. We are not contracted by, subcontract with, or in any way work for or answer to the county.”
Patient: “So, you’re subcontracted with the county.”
Colleague: “No, we are not. We are in no way, shape, or form any part of the county services.”
Patient: *sounding confused* “Oh.”
(A moment later.)
Patient: “So can you send [paperwork] through this fax machine?” *gestures at printer*
Colleague: “That isn’t a fax machine.”
Patient: “Can you fax it from here?”
Colleague: “No, we do not have a fax machine here.”
Patient: *confused* “Oh.”
(After the patient has been called in to see the provider.)
Me: *to Colleague, teasing* “So hey, [Colleague], aren’t we part of the county?”
Colleague: *throws hands in the air* “Apparently!”
Me: “Someone should tell [Boss]. He won’t have to worry about that [specific] grant anymore!”
florida80
10-13-2019, 21:05
Millennial Problems Don’t Have Legs To Stand On
Grocery Store, Ohio, USA | Healthy | November 24, 2017
(I’m 20, and I use a wheelchair because my leg muscles can’t support me. I’m at the grocery store with my boyfriend and talking to someone at the bakery who we know personally when a woman walks up to us.)
Woman: “Oh, another lazy teen. Why can’t you just walk normally?”
Me: “Uhm, because I have a medical condition?”
Woman: “Don’t you lie! You just don’t wanna walk like everyone else!”
Boyfriend: “She can’t even stand up without assistance. She’s not lazy.”
Woman: “Oh, so you’re in on this, too?!” *looks at bakery clerk* “Do you see what this generation is doing?!”
Clerk: “Yeah, people who regularly see a doctor about their medical problems. She’s been in a wheelchair since I met her.”
Woman: “UGH! LAZY ENTITLED BRATS!” *storms off*
(We laugh after she leaves. The bakery clerk gives us a couple baked goods for half off for the trouble.)
florida80
10-13-2019, 21:05
An Acute Case Of A**-holery
Hospital, Israel | Healthy | November 24, 2017
(I work at a hospital. It’s my lunch break, so I go to sit with a friend, who works as a secretary for the hematology clinic. We’re just talking about stuff; there aren’t many clients when this one guy comes in.)
Client: “My name is [Client].”
Friend: “Just a second…” *goes through the appointment list*
(Should be noted that he should’ve brought a referral with him, which he didn’t. Nevertheless, we find the appointment on the list.)
Client: “My case.”
Friend: “Okay, I know. I’ll give it to the doctor—”
Client: “My case, now.”
Friend: “Okay, I get it, I’ll bring it to him now.”
(This guy then followed my friend around to the doctor’s room. When he left an hour later, he didn’t even acknowledge us. He just talked loudly on his phone until my friend gave him his next appointment date and then he just left. That’s an a**-hole, if you ask me…)
florida80
10-13-2019, 21:06
Doctor, You Pain Me
Hospital, USA | Healthy | November 23, 2017
(I’m talking to my doctor about a procedure that will prevent future pain. He is familiar with my medical history.)
Doctor: “The surgery will really hurt.”
Me: “But it will be temporary right?”
Doctor: “Yes. But it will REALLY hurt.”
Me: “I’m fine with that if it stops the current pain.”
Doctor: “I don’t think you understand. This will be horrible pain. You’ll have to lie in bed for at least a week.”
Me: “Doctor. I’ve been run through. Do you think it’ll be worse than that?”
Doctor: “No.”
Me: “Then I want to do it.”
Doctor: “But it will hurt!”
(He didn’t let me do it.)
florida80
10-13-2019, 21:06
It’s Halal, Not Ha-LOL
Hospital, North Carolina, Religion, USA | Healthy | November 23, 2017
(I am a white teenage girl, just admitted to a ward and I am asleep. The nurse saw me come in with a t-shirt and jeans even though now I’m in a normal hospital gown.)
Dad: “Can my daughter get special meals?”
Nurse: “What kind? Is it an allergy?”
Dad: “She’s Muslim and needs halal food.”
Nurse: *odd look* “Muslim?”
Dad: “Yes.”
Nurse: “That’s ridiculous. She didn’t wear a hijab.”
Dad: “She rarely does, but she is Muslim.”
Nurse: “Then she isn’t really Muslim. She just plays dress up and has a fad diet like all teenagers.” *starts leaving*
Dad: “Oi! She is Muslim and needs halal food. She’s strict about that.”
Nurse: “Yeah, right.”
(My dad gave up and found another nurse who understood and made sure I got halal meals. It could have been much worse
florida80
10-13-2019, 21:07
Graduated Up To A Personalized Service
Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | November 23, 2017
(I am picking up my medicine and in order to do so, you must give your name and birth date, including year.)
Clerk: “Name?”
Me: “[My Name].”
Clerk: “Birthday?”
Me: “[Date].”
Clerk: “That’s the same day I graduated. To the day.”
Me: “And year. Next time you ask, I’m just going to say, ‘the exact day you graduated.’”
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:16
Graduated Up To A Personalized Service
Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | November 23, 2017
(I am picking up my medicine and in order to do so, you must give your name and birth date, including year.)
Clerk: “Name?”
Me: “[My Name].”
Clerk: “Birthday?”
Me: “[Date].”
Clerk: “That’s the same day I graduated. To the day.”
Me: “And year. Next time you ask, I’m just going to say, ‘the exact day you graduated.’”
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:16
Sickening Lack Of Attentiveness
Hospital, Switzerland | Healthy | November 22, 2017
(I’m staying at the hospital because of an exploded appendix. Unfortunately, the surgery goes wrong and I end up with several complications. One of them includes not being able to hold any liquid, not even the liquid my stomach produces. So despite not eating or drinking anything, I spend several days (around a week) vomiting up green goo until I finally manage to get that under control. A few days later, I’m chatting with a nurse when I suddenly feel the need to barf again! Thankfully, there’s a vomit-bag sitting right next to the nurse.)
Me: *with some urgency* “Can you please give me the vomit bag?”
Nurse: *shocked* “What? I thought you were done with that?”
(At this point I’m afraid that if I talk any more I will just start projectile vomiting so I just stare at her, hoping she’ll get the hint. But the nurse just stares back at me for what seems like an eternity, expecting me to answer the question.)
Me: “Quickly!”
(The nurse finally scrambled to get the bag, but by the time she got it, I’d already started vomiting all over the floor. I sure hope she’ll be more attentive in the future!)
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:17
The Sad Estate Of This Family
Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | November 22, 2017
(I work at a long-term care pharmacy. We service patients in nursing homes, assisted living, etc. and bill prescription costs monthly. Of course, this means we have trouble with people not paying their bill. Part of my job is to make collections calls. I hear all kinds of excuses, but this was a first.)
Man: “Hello?”
Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] calling from [Pharmacy]. Is [Person #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] available?”
Man: “Nope, he’s in jail over in [County].”
Me: *not sure how to respond* “I’m sorry to hear that… I also have [Person #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] listed as an authorized contact. May I speak with her?”
Man: “Nope, can’t talk to her either. She’s dead.”
Me: *now REALLY not sure how to respond* “I’m sorry to hear that, too. I’m calling in reference to [Patient]’s account. Who could I speak with that handles [Patient]’s finances?”
Man: “Not him. He’s dead now, too. His wife’s still living but she’s got ‘all-timers’ disease so she won’t be much help.”
Me: *basically at a loss for words at this point* “There must be someone handling [Patient]’s estate. Who would that be?”
Man: “Couldn’t tell you. The only one I know of that’s not dead, locked up, or crazy is [Person #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) ]. She’s probably the best you’re going to get.”
(Turned out [Person #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) ] was extremely nice and helpful, and promptly sent a check for the full balance. She must have been the shining star in a family of “dead, locked up, and crazy!”)
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:17
Making Sure You All (Co)Pay Dearly
Extra Stupid, Money, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | November 22, 2017
(I work at a long-term care pharmacy. We bill prescriptions monthly, and always get angry phone calls a few days after statements go out.)
Me: “[Pharmacy], this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”
Angry Man: “What kind of scam are you all running out there?”
Me: “Sir?”
Angry Man: “Do you think you’re going to get away with charging these outrageous prices? I should report you for robbery!”
Me: “If you have questions about any charges, I’d be happy to explain them to you.”
Angry Man: “As a matter of fact you can! I’d like to know why you’re charging me $50 for a month’s worth of [medication]!”
(I pull up the claim and go through my normal spiel of how we submit a claim to the insurance company, they respond with how much they’ll pay and how much of a copay we need to collect from the patient, and how we have no influence over the cost of the copay, as this is determined by the plan, etc.)
Angry Man: “Well then, how come I can go to [Other Pharmacy] and get three months’ worth for $150?”
Me: “Sir, that’s the same price.”
Angry Man: “You’re trying to tell me that $50 and $150 are the same thing? How stupid can you be to have your job?”
Me: *remembering to be professional and not sarcastic* “No, sir. I’m telling you that $50 for a 30 day supply and $150 for a 90 day supply is exactly the same price.”
Angry Man: “I can’t pay $50 every month for one prescription! I’ll go broke! I’m going to be using [Other Pharmacy] from now on so I can get more for a decent price! And I’m going up to [Nursing Home] and telling everyone there that you’re robbing them!”
Me: *slowly losing professionalism* “You have the right to use whatever pharmacy you like. If you feel the need to tell them that, I can’t stop you. But if they can do basic math, they’ll realize that copays are no different with us than they are anywhere else.”
Angry Man: “I know the tactics you people use to try to confuse me. You talk over my head hoping I’ll give up and pay your ridiculous price! You’re not going to fool me. I’m no dumb-a**!”
(At this point I was contemplating whether it would be worth the complaint I’d get if I said “Well, sir, you certainly could’ve fooled me,” but he slammed the phone down, making my decision for me. People are unbelievably dumb!)
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:18
Doctor Nose Best
Boston, Family & Kids, Massachusetts, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | November 21, 2017
(I am a pediatrician. A woman has come in with her little girl who is suffering from a rather infected finger. He diagnoses her with a staph infection, prescribes some antibiotics, and sends them home. At the end of the antibiotics the woman is back in his office, and the infection has spread to several areas; a spot on the little girl’s face, the inside of her nose, and a spot on her leg. She demands that I run a million tests because I’m clearly a “failure of a doctor.”)
Me: “Ma’am, it appears that your daughter has spread the infection to other areas of her body, most likely through scratches or by touching a scratch that was already there.”
Mother: “That’s impossible! How would she get one in her nose? You’re just making excuses because you don’t want to run any tests!”
Me: “I can assure you, ma’am, that’s not the case. If I felt the need to, I would certainly run more tests, but there is no need for all that time, effort, and money when I can clearly see what the cause is. It’s more than 99% certain that she spread it through her nose by a scratch as the bacteria causing the infection is located under her fingernails. She picked her nose, scratched it, and spread the infection there.”
Mother: *turns bright red* “That’s ridiculous! My little princess would never do anything so disgusting as pick her nose! We’re just going to go and get a second opinion! You’ll be run out of business, you’ll see!”
(We turn around to see her “little princess” with a finger very far up her nose indeed. The mother grows nearly purple at this point and swats her daughter’s hand away from her face.)
Me: “So I’ll be prescribing that next round of antibiotics, then?”
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:18
His Humor Is Straight As An Arrow
England, Hospital, Non-Dialogue, United Kingdom | Healthy | November 21, 2017
Before I retired, I spent many years working permanent nights in operating theatres, giving skilled assistance to the anaesthetist. We performed emergency surgery in quite a few fields but our main area of expertise was plastic surgery.
One night, a young man was brought into the anaesthetic room conscious, calm, and pain-free. We started to talk about what had happened to him. He was a competitive archer and he presented with a carbon fibre arrow through his left hand! On one side there was about a foot of gleaming black arrow with a perfect flight and on the other side there was a hideous splay of fractured carbon fibre. He explained that the only problem with carbon fibre arrows is that they are susceptible to damage if one strikes another in the target. He simply didn’t notice that this particular arrow had been weakened and when he released it the torque caused it to fracture and it punched through his hand.
I started to formally check him in: looking at his wristband I asked him to state his name and date of birth. Both tallied. “When did you last have anything to eat or drink?” Quite a few hours, so no problem. “Are you allergic to anything, especially any drugs or medicines?” No allergies. “Do you have any jewellery or body piercings?” He gestured towards his left hand: “Oh, just the one…”
I felt myself going bright red and we both giggled. We sent him off to sleep and the surgeon removed the arrow, cleaned up and debrided the wound, and carefully checked to see if he’d damaged any of the structures inside his hand. Fortunately, nothing significant had been affected – he was very lucky.
On nights we multitask, so I had to supervise his recovery from the anaesthetic. Before discharging him to the ward, I made sure that he could remember his snappy reply. “You’ll be dining out on that one, I’m sure
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:19
The ‘Feeling’ Is Mutual
California, Phone, USA | Healthy | November 21, 2017
(I’ve had some pain for several weeks, but recently had a medical test that found nothing wrong. After telling me this result, the doctor left and sent me on my way without any recommendations about how to feel better. I was frustrated so I asked her assistant to have the doctor call me back as soon as possible. I don’t get the call for a few days, and when the doctor finally does call, she sounds annoyed and uninterested.)
Doctor: *on the phone* “So there’s really nothing I can do for you. This sort of thing happens to everyone as they get older…” *stops listening to me and launches into a long standard spiel about aging and health*
Me: *struggling to get a word in edgewise, I finally have an idea* “So, how are you feeling?”
Doctor: “Wha… what?”
Me: *trying not to laugh at how I finally stopped her in her tracks* “I said, how are you feeling?”
Doctor: “You… you’re not supposed to ask me that! I’m supposed to tell you what to do!”
Me: “Well, you must feel one way or another. You are human, right?”
Doctor: *speechless*
(When she finally got her brain back on track, she humbly recommended a doctor at a different hospital who might actually be able to help me!)
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:19
Flu Right Past The Diagnosis
Hospital, Las Vegas, Nevada, USA | Healthy | November 20, 2017
(I am in so much pain that I have a friend drive me to the ER. Note: I commonly have stomach problems and this pain is certainly NOT in my stomach. I get seen fairly quickly and given pain medicine but am still in some pain in spite of it.)
Doctor: “Did you recently have the flu?”
Me: “Yes, but this isn’t the flu.”
Doctor: “Yes, it is; it is causing you more pain because you’ve gotten it two times in a row. The pain is in your colon.”
Me: “I’ve had issues like that before. This is not it. Digestive pain does not happen on one side. Check your tests again.”
(The doctor leaves. I continue to experience pain and walk around to try to relieve it as sitting down seems to make it worse. Finally a nurse comes and tells me they are taking me to get an ultrasound.)
Me: “So what happened? Did he finally believe me?”
Nurse: “Yes, your pee sample came back and you had blood in it. You probably have a kidney stone.”
(Guess what was confirmed by the ultrasound? Never have I wanted to punch a doctor so badly. The flu indeed!)
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:20
Bleeding Puns
Hospital, Iowa, Punny, USA | Healthy | November 20, 2017
(I’m in the ER with some potential heart issues. At one point, I get a very nice lady in to draw some blood, and she’s joined by a coworker who’s about to go off shift. My elbow veins aren’t cooperating, so I have to get blood drawn from the back of my hand as well. It goes faster after that, and soon, the lady who’s leaving heads out, then pokes her head back in the door.)
Phlebotomist: “Thanks for letting me stick around!”
(My mom and I couldn’t stop laughing. Definitely made the whole visit bearable!)
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:21
MRI = Milk Restrictive Invention
Australia, Hospital, New South Wales, Sydney | Healthy | November 20, 2017
(It took my husband and me several years to conceive. I wasn’t overly impressed with my induced labour of 48 hours that resulted in emergency C-section, and I struggle with breastfeeding that can’t be resolved by any method. I am feeling pretty down about not being able to do anything unassisted and am not 100% happy about having to top up every meal with formula but I am determined to keep going with breastfeeding. I’ll admit this is probably out of stubbornness, but it means a lot to me. Meanwhile, I have to have an MRI that I had to reschedule while pregnant and when I make the appointment, I ask if it is safe while breastfeeding. I am assured it is and though I am dubious, I will admit that I don’t look into it further, assuming they know better than I do. The appointment comes up and I leave my six-week-old baby for the first time with my husband and drive myself (also for the first time since the operation) to the radiologist.)
Receptionist: “Yes?”
Me: “Hello, I have an appointment for an MRI. My name is [My Name].”
Receptionist: “Here.”
(She thrusts paperwork at me. I fill it out, listing my allergies and so on, and note that there’s a question asking if I might be pregnant or breastfeeding. I put a tick next to it and finish the form. Handing it back to the receptionist, I ask about the question. She says it’s fine and tells me to sit down. Since I am the last patient of the day, I am taken in before I have a chance to ask her more and I figure it’s better to ask the tech anyway. The radiologist technician glances briefly at my form and sprints off down the corridor with me struggling to keep up. He obviously wants to get out for the day because he’s saying all his introductory explanation spiel to me similar to the squirrel from Hoodwinked. When he comes up for air, I manage to talk.)
Me: “The form asked me if I am breastfeeding.”
Tech: *casually* “Yes, you can’t breastfeed.”
Me: *thinking over his poor choice of words*
Tech: “…are you breastfeeding?”
Me: “Yes, I am breastfeeding. I did ask about this when I booked the appointment. They said it’s fine.”
Tech: “We have to put the dye in you and it’s toxic so you can’t breastfeed for three days after the MRI.”
Me: “That doesn’t explain why they didn’t tell me this when I booked.”
Tech: *looks confused*
Me: “I asked reception today, too. She said it’s fine.”
Tech: “What would they know?”
Me: “Actually, I’d imagine they’d know who can and cannot come for an MRI since it’s their job to book and take appointments.”
Tech: “Oh, yeah, probably then. Well, I can’t answer for them but the dye is toxic. You can’t breastfeed for three days. So just don’t breastfeed and you’ll be all right.”
Me: “That’s okay. I will just reschedule.”
Tech: “Can’t you just stop for a few days?”
Me: *feeling pretty crappy* “I am sorry but I can’t just casually stop breastfeeding.”
Tech: “Just breastfeed more and store up milk for three days.”
Me: “…”
Tech: *cheerfully* “You know you can freeze it, right?”
Me: “It would take me at least a month to build up three days worth.”
Tech: “Okay, we’ll reschedule for a month. That will give you time.”
Me: “…”
Tech: *getting irritated* “Or, just go buy formula. It’s really not that bad.”
Me: “Of course formula isn’t bad, but that’s not the point. If I stop I might not be able to keep going at all.”
Tech: *getting angry* “Then go buy a pump and just throw it away for three days. But make sure you wash it properly because it’s toxic.”
(I am thinking this is not his business and I don’t want to talk about it, but also as I am now teetering on a cliff between furious and devastated, I go on.)
Me: “I need to physically feed her and I can’t just stop. Yes, I pump, but I need to do both. It’s not your business but I have been through too much to throw it away casually like you want me to. Forget the MRI. I am leaving.”
Tech: *cheerful as his work day has ended sooner than he expected* “No worries. We can book you in when you’re ready.”
Me: “Thanks, but I will go somewhere else, with properly trained staff who know what services they can and cannot provide and give proper information in an understanding way, when I am no longer breastfeeding.”
(I was temporarily impressed with my own ability to string more that three words together because I never stick up for myself and I was shaking like a leaf, and I made my way back down the maze like corridors without getting lost. I also managed to get my referral back from the receptionist who talked to the tech in front of me about how I couldn’t get the MRI because I am breastfeeding, to which the receptionist asked “so when do you want to rebook?” and I responded “like h*** I will be,” before leaving and getting in my car. I cried in the car and they never knew it. For that, I was thankful.)
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:22
Oh The Eye-rony
Canada, Marriage & Partners, Ontario, Optometrist/Optician, Toronto | Healthy | November 19, 2017
(I walk into my optometrist’s office and find a new secretary. I’m curious about what happened to “Jane,” the last one, especially since “Jane” and the doctor were married! I’m the only one in the office right now so I decide to be nosey:)
Me: *after the preliminary sign in conversation* “So, Jane is no longer here?”
New Secretary: “No, she’s gone.”
Me: “I’m surprised considering her relationship with the Doctor.”
New Secretary: “It was all very awkward, Jane needed to start wearing glasses but she refused to. The doctor had to fire her because she was giving out the wrong prescriptions to people and messing up things like that.”
Me: “Ooh, that’s not good. Wait, she was married to an optometrist and worked in an optometrist’s office and refused to wear glasses?”
New Secretary: “Yup. I shouldn’t say this but I believe it was a case of vanity gone wrong. They’re getting divorced now, too.”
Me: “Gee, I wonder why?”
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:22
Let’s Hope It Was A Clean Break
Australia, home, Ignoring & Inattentive, Queensland | Healthy | November 18, 2017
(Our two storey house has a lot of windows, many of them quite high up, so we use a window cleaning service. We’ve used the same guy every time. One day, he brings a coworker with him. He introduces me to the coworker, who responds to my greeting by saying curtly:)
Coworker: “Yeah, hi. Where are your taps? We need to get started.”
(I’m working in my home office, which is upstairs. I see the ladder resting against the side of the house and our window cleaner ascending it. He gives me a friendly smile and wave and right then, the ladder wobbles and he falls. I race outside and he’s lying on the grass unconscious. I rush into the house for the phone and as I do, I pass the coworker.)
Me: “[Window Cleaner] has just fallen from his ladder; he’s out cold! I’m calling an ambulance!”
Coworker: “You do that.”
(He doesn’t make a move to check on his colleague; he just carries on cleaning. I call the ambulance and rush back outside.)
Me: “Didn’t you hear what I said? [Window Cleaner] has had a bad fall. Why aren’t you checking on him?”
Coworker: “You just said you’d called the ambulance. What do you want me to do about it? Do you want your windows cleaned or not?!”
(I’m not about to stand there arguing with him and I rush round the house to open the gate for the paramedics and to stay with my window cleaner until they arrive. As they are assessing him he starts to come round, but is later revealed to have a broken ankle, a broken collarbone, and a concussion. After the paramedics have taken him away, I go back to the coworker.)
Me: “I think he’ll be okay. They’ve taken him to [Hospital]. Shouldn’t you follow the ambulance or let his wife know or SOMETHING?”
Coworker: *after a long pause in which he just stares at me* “That’ll be $160.00.”
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:23
Using His Outdoor Voice Inside
Australia, Medical Office | Healthy | November 17, 2017
(I am opening the clinic, getting to work at 8:30 am when we open at 9:00 am. I am an avid believer of keeping the shutters closed and main lights off until I am completely ready to accept people. I leave the back-door unlocked for the remainder of staff to come in, as not everyone has a key. The back door has a ‘Staff Only’ sign. Walking around the department in the dark, paper-like bed sheets in my arms, I hear a strange yelling sound. Outside it is incredibly windy and the back door is unlocked so I assume it has something to do with that. While replacing toilet paper in the bathrooms, there is another yell. This time I poke my head out the back door and see nothing. I am finally behind the desk logging into the systems when a loud slamming sound makes me jump and in full view of the back room across the hall I see an unhappy older man march in. The lights are still off. The shutters out front are closed. There are no escape doors for me. The setting made it seem terrifying, but I really only stood there in shock. It is 8:40 am.)
Patient: *yelling as he walks up* “Your doors are closed! I have an appointment at nine!”
Me: “Y-Yes. We don’t open for another twenty minutes, sir.”
Patient: “I have an appointment! Do you expect me to wait outside in the cold? I’m not waiting outside!”
(I am still genuinely scared and consider calling the police because he is being very aggressive and I fear for my safety. Then I think, why is he not waiting in his car? Did he expect everyone to open twenty minutes early just because he was there?)
Me: “I’m not prepared to take anyone yet. That’s why everything is still closed. My computer hasn’t finished signing in.”
Patient: “FINE! I’ll wait here! I’m not waiting outside!”
(Still scared, but somewhat mad now, I left the desk and made myself busy. Then I went to the tea room and waited until 8:50. Meanwhile, the techs had come in with strange looks, wanting to know what the man’s situation was. After that, I returned, turned on the lights, and opened the shutters. His car was parked outside. Point of the story: patients genuinely scare staff when they get like this. When it comes to people’s health, they are capable of anything. I thought he was going to hit me!)
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:23
It’s Our Morning Period
Arizona, Medical Office, Phoenix, USA | Healthy | November 17, 2017
(Our office is only open a half-day on Friday. This takes place at about 11:00 am.)
Patient: “So, today is your half-day, right?”
Me: “Right; we’re only open half the day on Fridays.”
Patient: “Are you open in the morning or the afternoon?”
Me: *looks around at the waiting room full of patients, including her* “Uh… Morning.”
Patient: “Oh, that would make sense.”
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:24
Vets Need To Vet Their Pharmacists
New York, Pharmacy, USA, Vet | Healthy | November 17, 2017
(I take my sick dog to the vet and they don’t have the medicine he needs, so they send me to a store to pick it up from their pharmacy.)
Me: “Hi, I’m here to pick up medicine for my dog.”
Rep: “What’s the name?”
Me: “Well, my name is [My Name], but my dog is named Austin.”
Rep: “The medicine is for Austin? What’s Austin’s date of birth?”
Me: “I honestly don’t know what they would have for that; he is a rescue.”
Rep: “Do you have a phone number for Austin?”
Me: “My number is [number].”
Rep: “I don’t need your number. I need the patient’s number.”
Me: “He’s a golden retriever. He doesn’t have a number.”
Rep: “Look, I need information or I can’t give you anything. I can’t even find the prescription.”
Me: “It was called in by [Vet Hospital, with ‘Veterinary’ in the name].”
(The rep yells to the people behind him:)
Rep: “Did we get a call from a [Vet Hospital, but without the word ‘Veterinary’]?”
(I try to correct him, but he brushes me off and the other employees tell him no.)
Rep: “Look, try talking to someone at the drop off window. Right now, you can’t prove you even have a prescription.”
Me: “I don’t have a prescription, but my dog, Austin, does from his veterinarian.”
(The rep glares at me and points to the drop off window. I go over.)
Me: “Hi, I’m here to pick up medicine for my dog, Austin, that my veterinarian called in.”
Drop-Off Pharmacist: “I have that here. What’s your phone number so I can verify?” *I provide it* “Okay, our customer service rep at the main register will check you out.”
(I get back in the first line with the same rep.)
Rep: “What’s this? They found it? Well, I still need you to verify Austin’s information, or call him to get it.”
Me: “Again, Austin is a dog. See? The medicine is listed for veterinary; there’s even a picture of a dog on the package.”
Rep: “Okay, you need to talk to the pharmacist.”
(He puts the medicine on the back counter. I wait five minutes and the pharmacist comes out.)
Pharmacist: “What questions do you have?”
Me: “None, actually. The vet said just to give him a pill twice a day.”
Pharmacist: “Okay. [Rep], why did you call me up?”
Rep: “Is it even legal to give this to her? She doesn’t have the patient’s information.”
Pharmacist: “The patient is a dog. It’s fine.”
Rep: “A dog? Who needs medicine for a dog? Whatever, here.”
(He hands me the bag with the medication.)
Me: “I haven’t paid.”
Rep: “Yeah, you did; I rang you out.”
Me: “No.”
Pharmacist: “This wasn’t paid for. Let me personally ring you out over here. I’m going to write down my information and the name of the other employee who helped you. If you have any questions, comments, or complaints, please send them to this email address. Please send them. We need to have a certain number of complaints before we can let an employee go.”
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:27
Screaming For A New Nurse
Hospital, Mississippi, USA | Healthy | November 16, 2017
(This occurs when I am 19 years old, and in the hospital giving birth. I am a fairly tiny person, my baby is pretty huge, and I’m in my 23rd hour of labor, so you can see how I might be stressed out. The first time I let out a pained scream…)
Nurse: *disgustedly* “You know the screaming doesn’t actually help, right?”
(My mom and boyfriend gawk at her.)
Boyfriend: “Are you kidding? Did you seriously just say that?”
Nurse: *defensively* “Look, I’m just saying that it’s 3:00 am; people are trying to sleep. She’s being really loud.”
Mom: “GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE!”
(She huffed and walked out of the room without a word, leaving another nurse to scramble in to help. I saw her a few more times during my stay, and thankfully she kept her mouth shut.)
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:27
Cold-Blooded Humor
Alberta, Canada, Hospital | Healthy | November 16, 2017
(I received a call from my doctor after having some blood work done, telling me to get to the ER immediately for a blood transfusion, as my hemoglobin levels were critically low. A friend of mine takes me and stays with me for support. She likes to try and lighten the mood with a sarcastic sense of humor. This occurs when the nurse brings in the first bag of blood and hooks it up to my IV…)
Me: “Oh, wow… that’s a strange sensation!”
Nurse: “What? It’s not burning is it? Does it hurt?”
Me: “Not at all… It’s just really cold! I’ve never felt cold inside my body before.”
Friend: “Cold? Geez, Nurse! Can’t ya warm it up a little for her?”
Nurse: “…umm.”
Friend: “Just throw it in the microwave for a few minutes! My friend says it’s too cold here!”
Nurse: *mouth agape with a look of horror*
Me: “[Friend]… I don’t think she knows you’re joking.”
Friend: “Oh… Oh, my god! I’m totally joking! Just trying to lighten the mood!”
Nurse: “Oh, thank goodness! I mean, whatever you want to do on your own time, sure… but I’m not wasting precious O negative in this hospital for your little experiment here!”
(We had a good laugh after that. And after two bags of the red stuff my hemoglobin levels were back up to normal!)
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:30
Addicted To Death
Alberta, Canada, Hospital | Healthy | November 16, 2017
(I am eleven years old. My mother works in the kitchen of the local hospital and sometimes her duties involve delivering food trays to the patients. I remember her talking about the times on one floor where she would hear people moaning and crying, begging for morphine, as they lay painfully dying from whatever cancer was taking them from this world. One day, when I am out front of the hospital, I begin talking with a nurse who is waiting for the bus. We touch on a few topics until I remember my mother’s worlds about the terminally ill patients.)
Me: “My mother works in the kitchen and delivers food trays. She has told me about the dying people begging for morphine. Why don’t you give them what they need?”
Nurse: “Because they could become addicted, of course!”
Me: *I pondered her words for a few moments then replied* “Well, why don’t you give them the morphine they need, and then when they die, cut them off?”
Nurse: *giving me the stink-eye* “Little smart-a**!” *walks away in a huff*
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:31
Too Bad You Can’t Transfuse Out Racism
Bigotry, Hospital, USA | Healthy | November 16, 2017
(This happened to one of my professors in the 1970s while they were working in a hospital’s blood bank dispensary. It wasn’t uncommon at that time for people to be somewhat fixated on the concept of receiving blood from their own race only. Some people falsely believed that “black blood” would “turn you black,” and all sorts of other ridiculous racist things. A patient who has recently received a blood transfusion somehow gets their number.)
Caller: “What color was the blood you gave me?”
Professor: *knowing what they’re asking, but refusing to play* “Red.”
Caller: “No. Where did it come from?”
Professor: “From someone’s veins, out of the goodness of their hearts.”
Caller: “No, I mean, what type of person did it come from?”
Professor: “A generous, kind, and loving one. Look, I don’t know their race, and it doesn’t matter anyway, and I wouldn’t tell you if I did know.”
Caller: “F*** you!”
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:31
Leaving You High And Dry
Awesome Workers, England, Hospital, Inspirational, Kind Strangers, London, UK | Healthy | November 15, 2017
(I’ve gone to the hospital for an ultrasound scan. On my way to the hospital, I am caught in a flash rainstorm and have no umbrella, so I am completely soaked through by the time I arrive.)
Doctor: “Ms. [Surname]?
Me: “Hi.”
Doctor: “Oh, you poor thing; you’re soaked though.”
Me: “Yeah, it was raining really hard out there.”
(We enter the ultrasound room.)
Sonographer: “Hi. I’m [Sonographer], and I’ll be doing your scan today. If I could ask you to lie on the bench…”
Me: “Sure. Uh, I’m sorry; I’m going to make it a little damp, I think.”
Doctor: “Don’t apologise; we’re just sorry you’re so wet. Wait, hold on. We have spare hospital gowns somewhere.”
Sonographer: “In the waiting room. I’ll grab one. Hopefully your clothes can dry a little when we do the scan.”
(She goes out.)
Doctor: “Right. Let’s see if I can switch the air-conditioner off in here, or get it to run hot.”
Me: “Thanks!”
Doctor: “Not a problem.”
(The sonographer comes back with a hospital gown, so I get changed. After the scan is done…)
Doctor: “All done. Do you have to be anywhere? Otherwise, maybe we could see if there’s somewhere for you to sit so your clothes can dry.”
Me: “That’s very kind, but I have to go back home and carry on working.”
Doctor: “Hmm, I wonder if we can get you a hairdryer for a quick solution, then.”
Sonographer: “Let me think…” *pause* “I’m pretty sure we don’t have any we can use, but if you take the first left, there are some toilets with a pretty good hand-dryer, which you might be able to stand under.”
(I ended up having to rush back, but I was extremely grateful to the doctor and sonographer for trying to find a way to dry me off!)
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:32
Will Come Down With Swine Flu
Medical Office, Montana, USA | Healthy | November 15, 2017
(I work at a small clinic which has a break room right next to my desk, so I smell everyone’s reheated lunch. I don’t eat pork.)
Me: “Do you have to eat that at my desk? It smells awful!”
Coworker: “Oh, you’ll be fine. Your hot cop is coming in today.”
(I have a regular patient who is a cop.)
Me: “He’s not ‘my hot cop.’ He’s twice my age.”
Coworker: “Whatever.” *walks away, taking her rancid lunch with her*
Me: *yelling* “Oh, sick! NOW IT SMELLS LIKE BACON IN HERE! I FREAKING HATE PIGS!”
(Right then my “hot cop patient” walked around the corner, and if looks could kill… Needless to say, when he came in for follow-up, I just happened to come down with the flu that day.)
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:32
Take (Medi)Care To Stay Alive
Grandparents, home, Rhode Island, USA | Healthy | November 15, 2017
(I am with my grandmother, who gets tons of sales calls, which everyone in the house finds obnoxious. One day, I answer the phone for her.)
Salesperson: “Hello, this is Medicare. Can I speak to [Grandmother]?”
Me: “She’s dead.”
Salesperson: “Okay, I’ll make a note of that on her file. Goodbye.”
(He hangs up. My grandmother is staring at me in shock.)
Grandma: “DID YOU JUST TELL MEDICARE THAT I DIED?! I’LL LOSE MY INSURANCE!”
(Naturally, I freak out. I’m near hysterical as I call the company and tell them what I had done.)
Medicare Person: “Did someone call the house? Because Medicare only calls if you have made an appointment in advance. We still have her alive on here.”
(So luckily they were scammers. However, I will never do that again. Ever.)
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:33
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 12
Health & Body, Restaurant, USA, Washington DC | Healthy | November 15, 2017
(I’m a manager for a popular casual restaurant. I receive a phone call from an upset customer.)
Caller: “Why don’t you offer allergy menus? My daughter almost died from eating calamari! Why would you serve her something that she is allergic to, and she’s pregnant!”
Me: “I do apologize for your daughter’s condition and we do offer a dozen different types of menus which do include an allergen menu, nutritional menus, large print menus, etc.”
Caller: “How am I supposed to know you have these menus?!”
Me: “Did you ask? Also, if your daughter knew she was allergic to calamari, why would she order it?”
Caller: “She didn’t know she was allergic to it! That’s why I was asking about the allergen menu!”
Me: “Okay, so, if she doesn’t know that she is allergic to calamari, how are we supposed to know?”
Caller: *realizes the paradox* “Well, she’s pregnant and I am really scared.”
(I’m a mom of two.)
Me: “I understand you are scared and when a person is pregnant their body goes through a lot of changes; consult with the doctor and I hope she will be okay.”
(I never got a call back I wonder if she still thinks we should automatically know if someone is allergic to something.)
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:34
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 11
Restaurant | Right | February 22, 2017
(I work in a southwestern-themed restaurant, and many of our recipes include similar spices, just in different amounts. Onion is one of the most prominent ingredients in our recipes, and we sometimes get a request for ‘no onion’ in certain items. We can make some things, but it’d be pretty much just lettuce, cheese, and any number of fresh chopped vegetables that aren’t onion or mixed with anything that has onion in it. As such, I get this man in line.)
Customer: “I’d like a burrito.”
Me: “Okay, would you like that with or without guacamole today?”
Customer: “With.”
(The guacamole has onion in it.)
Me: “What kind of meat on your burrito?”
Customer: “Chicken.”
(The chicken has onion in the seasoning.)
Me: “Any rice or beans?”
Customer: “Sure, I’ll take [rice with onion in it], and [beans with onion in them].”
Me: “Any grilled vegetables?”
Customer: “Ooh, no, thank you. I’m allergic to onion.”
Me: “Sir… if you’re allergic to onions then I highly suggest you don’t eat this burrito. There is a load of onion in it already.”
Customer: “Oh, no, I’m only allergic to onion that I can see.”
(Eight years of culinary experience, and this is the first time I’ve heard that excuse. I made him his burrito – leaving off anything with visible onion – and he went on his way. No complaints yet.)
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:34
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 10
Restaurant | Right | September 27, 2016
(I am a cashier at a restaurant. We are a small business and the owners are still working on the perfect way to run the business. A couple walks in and orders at the counter as usual. After finding a table, the woman returns to the counter.)
Customer: “Excuse me; do you have any larger chairs? My husband is too large to fit in these.”
(I know we don’t have any, but I go in the back to ask the owner for advice anyway. I return to the counter with no real solution.)
Me: *”No, ma’am. We don’t have any larger chairs; I’m sorry for your husband’s discomfort.”
Customer: “Okay, thanks anyway.”
(She goes back to her table, visibly upset. The husband returns to fill his drink, and I notice he is wearing an adult bib. They eat all their food with seemingly no complaints. They talk for a few minutes, and then the wife returns to the counter.)
Customer: “Excuse me, I’m having an allergic reaction. Is the manager around?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am. Let me go grab the owner for you.”
Owner: “What’s wrong, ma’am ?”
Customer: “My throat is itchy. I’m allergic to something in your food. Could you name the ingredients for me?”
Owner: *names every ingredient in the food she and her husband has eaten*
Customer: “I’m not allergic to any of that.”
Owner: “I’m sorry, ma’am, then you didn’t have an allergic reaction here.”
Customer: *becoming more angry by the second* “I said my throat is itchy and I’m having an allergic reaction! Don’t you care at all about your customers?”
Owner: “Would you like me to call an ambulance?”
Customer: “No! I’m fine! We were just leaving!”
(She pulled her husband out the door. He seemed indifferent to her “allergic reaction.” He even waved to us on the way out.)
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:35
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 9
Sandwich Shop | Right | June 24, 2016
(I work in a busy sandwich shop in a retail centre. It’s relatively quiet when a man and his two sons enter. They are regulars, but are usually rude. The father ignores us and plays with his phone while the kids order.)
Me: “And what salad would you like?”
Son #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : *reels off salads* “…and onions. And [burger sauce].”
Me: *wraps his sandwich for him and hands it over before moving on*
(A few minutes after the father has paid, he storms back to the counter with Son #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ’s sandwich.)
Father: “There are onions in here. He cannot eat onions. He is allergic!”
Me: *worried about the allergy* “I’m so sorry! Do you need me to call emergency services?!
Father: “What? No. He’s just allergic!”
Me: *I’m confused, but relieved more than anything* “Okay, I’m very sorry! I’ll make you a new one straight away.”
(I make the new sandwich as before, and ask the boy over to tell me his salad items again.)
Son #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : *reels off his salads* “And onion.”
Me: *hesitates* “I’m sorry, but your father asked me not to add onions.”
Father: *from other side of restaurant* “NO ONIONS!”
Son #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : *sighs* “Fine. But I want the [burger sauce]!”
Me: “I’m afraid that sauce has onions—”
Father: “NO ONION!”
Me: “—is there anything else I can offer you?”
Son #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “I just want the d*** [burger sauce]!”
Father: *storms up to counter* “He can have the sauce!”
Me: “The [burger sauce] contains onions so I’m not comf—”
Father: “Just give him the sauce!”
Me: *shrugs and puts the sauce on, adding extra when asked before wrapping the sandwich up*
Father: *snatches sandwich before I can bag it* “No onion! Was that so hard to understand?” *storms off again*
(They spent the rest of their meal glaring at me while I worked and left their mess all over the table, including the original sandwich they rejected. When I went to clean up, I find all of the onion had been removed from the sandwich and was nowhere to be seen.)
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:35
Pokémon Go To The Doctors
Finland, Medical Office, Pokemon | Healthy | November 15, 2017
(It is right around the time when Pokémon Go has come out. I take a fairly serious fall and injure my hip. When it doesn’t improve after a few days, I go to a doctor who specializes in sports injuries.)
Doctor: “How did you injure your hip?”
Me: “I fell off a stepladder.”
Doctor: “Oh, thank goodness! You’re the first patient I’ve had all week who didn’t injure themselves playing Pokémon Go.”
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:36
Enough To Make You Slap Your Forehead
Pharmacy, Sweden | Healthy | November 15, 2017
(I work at a pharmacy. A patient is complaining about a spray she had bought a couple of days ago.)
Patient: “It did absolutely not work! It is a nasal spray for sinusitis! Since it contains cortisone, it should work!”
Me: “How do you use it?”
(I ask, since the biggest problem with stuff like this is that you usually use maybe too little, too much, or just plain wrong. She looks at me, a little offended.)
Patient: *sounding annoyed* “Well, I use it as the description says! Two sprays once a day!”
(I think long and hard about how it couldn’t have made any difference for her.)
Patient: “Besides, it gets so messy, and it doesn’t dry quickly at all!”
Me: *can’t wrap my brains about what she meant* “Can you please explain?”
(She took out the spray with a annoyed sigh and held it up against her forehead. She had used the nasal spray on her forehead. I tried my absolute hardest not to laugh and explained as professionally as I could that the spray for sinusitis is to be sprayed in your nose, and not on your forehead.)
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:52
Man, What A Mistake!
The Netherlands, Vet | Healthy | November 14, 2017
(I am 18 years old and have recently moved out on my own and finally bought my very first pet, a golden hamster. I bring the hamster to the vet because I notice quite a large lump near the hind quarters and I want to check it out.)
Me: “Yes, see, the lump is quite big.”
Vet: “You mean here?”
Me: “Yes, I hope it is not serious.”
Vet: *nearly dying of laughter* “Those are his male genitals. He seems to be quite healthy.”
Me: “Oh, my god! I am so sorry! Really? The sales person at the store said she was a girl!”
Vet: “Well, it’s a healthy boy.”
Me: “I feel really stupid, but thanks!”
(Don’t worry for my hamster. He lived quite a healthy happy life until nearly three-and-a-half years old, even though he went through life named “Rose.”)
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:52
Ensuring The Insulin Is Insul-out
Hospital, Mississippi, USA | Healthy | November 14, 2017
(I work in the satellite pharmacy at my hospital. A triage technician is always on hand to answer calls and messages from doctors, nurses, and other pharmacists. It’s a difficult job that requires deft technicians: some of the calls they get raise issues that are difficult to resolve, and others are just plain goofy. D5W is short for a stock solution of 5% dextrose sugar in water.)
Triage Tech: *picking up the phone* “Pharmacy, how can I help you?” *pause* “No, ma’am, I don’t believe those two are compatible with each other. ” *pause* “What? No, no, I don’t actually know offhand if the drug would precipitate out or react with the D5W in any way. I could look that up for you, but in this case I really don’t think it’s necessary. ” *pause* “You’re asking me if you can add insulin to D5W” *pause* “You want to infuse your patient with both sugar and insulin at once. Just… please… don’t.”
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:53
Kindness In Death
England, Hospital, London, Non-Dialogue, UK | Healthy | November 14, 2017
I used to work in an oncology unit specialising in gastrointestinal cancers – the sort of thing that, by the time it got to us, all we could do was arrange for palliative treatment to make the time the patient had left longer and more comfortable. I handled phone calls from the patients and families, all of whom were obviously upset and as a result not as thoughtful as they might have been.
Sometimes, they had a right to be abrasive, though. One man whose mother needed an urgent chemotherapy booking had been left hanging for weeks, and the registrar who was supposed to be handling the booking hadn’t done anything despite the fact that her prognosis was dwindling all the time. Eventually, I got fed up; I grabbed the patient file and the documentation that he hadn’t signed yet, interrupted the consultant at lunch, stood over him until he checked and signed the document, delivered everything to the ward personally, and, apologising to the still-furious son of the patient, told him his mother had an appointment the following day.
Less than a month later, I got word that the patient in that story had died. Two days after that, reception told me that said patient’s son was on his way to my office. I was sure he was coming to berate me to my face… but when he turned up, it was with a small silk rose and a small box of chocolates. He told me that he wanted to apologise for losing his temper, and tell me how grateful he was for how hard I’d worked to see that his mother got proper care.
I am never going to forget the man who managed to be so thoughtful of someone else even with such a recent bereavement. It’s the yardstick to which I hold my behaviour to this day.
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:53
Getting Your Religion With Surgical Precision
Hospital, Religion, Texas, USA | Healthy | November 13, 2017
(I get a phone call from the hospital where I’ll be having outpatient surgery at in a few days. The nurse is asking me personal questions about my medical history, medicines, and gets to questions about religion. I’m atheist.)
Nurse: “Do you have any spiritual or religious objections that interfere with this surgery?”
Me: “No, ma’am.”
Nurse: “Do you go to church?”
Me: “No, ma’am.”
Nurse: *pauses* “Well, that’s okay. What religion are you?”
Me: “None.”
Nurse: “None?”
Me: “Yes, none. I’m atheist.”
Nurse: *takes long pause*
Me: “Are you there, ma’am?”
Nurse: “Do you need prayer?”
Me: “…what?”
Nurse: “Would you like prayer before the surgery?”
Me: “No…? I’m fine without prayer. But thanks.”
Nurse: “Have you ever been to church?”
Me: “Yes.”
Nurse: *long pause, then whispered* “Well, that’s okay.”
(We continued after that without any problems or weird pauses.)
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:54
When Patients Aren’t
Australia, Hospital, Non-Dialogue | Healthy | November 13, 2017
It’s a Friday night, and my dad has been really sick all week. It eventually gets to the point where he needs to go to the emergency room. Being a Friday night, the ER is relatively full.
Once he gets there, and speaks to the nurse, he is immediately given a wheelchair and taken straight through. The looks of disgust and just pure hatred he got from everyone in the waiting room was astonishing.
He had pneumonia, and had he arrived even an hour later, chances are he would have died.
Seriously, if someone is taken straight through at the emergency room, chances are their problems are probably worse than yours
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:56
Making A Point About The Time To Appoint
Hospital, USA | Healthy | November 13, 2017
(My doctor’s appointment is at two pm. The nearest bus stop is an hour from my house, so I have to catch a ride with my mom at seven am. Her work has a bus stop right next to it. By eleven am, I have finally made it to the hospital. I go to the front desk to check in.)
Me: “Hi! I know I’m early, sorry, but I can just wait.”
Nurse: *loud sigh* “I’ll see if I can have him see you earlier.”
Me: “No, it’s really fine. I ride the bus, so I’m always early because I’m afraid of being late. It’s fine. I’m sorry I’m so early.”
Nurse: “Just sit down.”
(I went to sit down and listened as she called the doctor. Even though I didn’t want her to, she fiddled with the schedule until the doctor could see me early. The vitals nurse and doctor told me how inconsiderate I was for wanting to be seen early. It is a miserable appointment.)
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:57
They’re Massaging The Truth
Chicago, Illinois, Spa, USA | Healthy | November 12, 2017
(Where I work the hands-on part of the massage is 50 minutes. There is a client who knows this, as I and others have told him several times, yet he always pretends to be surprised and mad about it. He has been coming in two or three times a month for over a year. It always goes something like this:)
Me: *after discussing what he wants worked on* “Okay, you can undress and start face down, I’ll be back in a couple minutes.”
Client: “A couple minutes?! Why? I’ll only be ten seconds! Don’t go anywhere.”
Me: “I need to return your file up front and wash my hands. I’ll be two minutes.”
Client: “I only need ten second to undress.”
Me: “Okay. I’ll see you in a couple minutes.” *closes door*
(Often when I’m in the break room washing my hands I can hear his voice out in the hall saying: “I’m ready! Hello? Hello?” I give him his 50 minutes hands-on massage, and end at, say, 6:55.)
Me: “Okay, thank you. I’ll go get you some water and—”
Client: “Done?! Already?”
Me: “I’m afraid so!”
Client: “Why?”
Me: “Well, that’s all of our time. I have another client at seven.”
Client: “Yes, so we have five more minutes.”
Me: “The hands on portion of our massage is 50 minutes.” *as you’ve been told several times, you idiot!*
Client: “Why?”
Me: “I’ll go get you your water and meet you in the hall.”
(He is sometimes grumpy when he meets me in the hall, or sometimes he thanks me and says he feels great. Either way, he always complains to the front desk that I ended five minutes early, and they always tell him that I did not and that he paid for a 50 minute hands-on massage!)
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:57
They Don’t Nose What They’re Doing
Hospital, Montana, Non-Dialogue, USA | Healthy | November 11, 2017
In a matter of two days, what I thought was a pimple in my nostril turned into something horrific. I wake up in the middle of the night to the entire lower half of my face swollen. I have a high fever. I have no choice but to venture to the ER.
The whole time the ER nurses are questioning me, I’m feeling condescended to. They seem to think that since I’m not in a great deal of pain that the swelling can be written off as basically nothing. They give me three pills to send me on my way. The next night the swelling is worse, I’m throwing up and in a great deal of pain. I return to the ER. They “lance” my nose but hardly try to get anything out. They give me more of the same pills and Percocet. They claim the swelling will go away in 24 hours and not to worry; it’s nothing serious.
My aunt and mother grow extremely concerned. My aunt calls around and finds a nose specialist/surgeon. I talk to him on the phone. He wants to see me immediately — also, it’s his day off! My mother ends up flying in because she is so worried. She makes it just in time and goes in the room with me to see the specialist. He takes one look at me and says, “We need to perform surgery immediately.”
He essentially had to cut open my nose, drain it, and put a tube in it. He got about a cup’s worth of infection out. After the surgery, he pulls my mother aside and asks what the emergency room tried to do help me to get better. To sum it up they essentially gave me the wrong type of medicine and overlooked my condition. He tells my mother that if I waited another couple days to see him I might have died. The infection could have traveled in my blood stream to my brain and become deadly. This happens frequently due to the location of the infection, and people die from ERs overlooking it.
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:58
You Walked Right Into That One
Hospital, Non-Dialogue, Oklahoma, USA | Healthy | November 10, 2017
My boyfriend is away on a trip for several days. On the first day he scrapes his leg on something, but the cut isn’t deep and he doesn’t think anything about it. By the end of his trip, his leg is swollen, sore, and hot to the touch. When he gets home he can barely put weight on it, and once we get ice on it and the swelling goes down, we see that his calf muscle is knotted up, creating a huge ‘dent’ in his leg. Worried that it could be something like a blood clot, I insist on rushing him to the ER.
We get there, and my boyfriend insists on walking in, though I drop him off as close to the doors as I can, so he doesn’t have to limp too far. He almost doesn’t make it through signing all of the paperwork because standing hurts so much. We get to the back quickly, and a doctor sees us and states that they will do an ultrasound to rule out a clot. All good so far.
After the ultrasound tech leaves we wait. And wait. For about an hour.
Finally a nurse comes in and asks if we’re ready to leave. After some confused glances, we point out that we were never given a diagnosis. The nurse apologizes, saying she thought we’d already spoken to the doctor because our paperwork was up for discharge, but she’ll go get him right away.
Okaaay…
The doctor comes in, tells us it isn’t a clot, and that it must be an infection. What kind of infection is not stated (they didn’t test to find out), and she bids us goodbye after stating that there will be a prescription for antibiotics for him at our pharmacy.
Then my boyfriend tries to get up… but can’t. After an hour and a half of having his leg elevated, bringing it below waist level is incredibly painful and he can’t manage it. Note: I am 5’3″ and 170 lbs; he is 6’4″ and 260 lbs. I cannot help him out alone.
I go out into the main hall and explain the situation to the doctor, and how we need some way to get my boyfriend up and out of the ER. He says, okay, we’ll get him some pain medication. Cool. Sounds like a plan. So we wait again.
For. Another. HOUR.
Finally I venture out again and flag down a nurse. Guess what: THEY FORGOT WE WERE STILL THERE. Like, just completely forgot a patient was still in a room.
The nurse has to go flag down the doctor again, and I go back to the room. Not too long after, a new nurse comes in and hands my boyfriend a piece of paper. It’s a scrip for pain medication, to be filled at our pharmacy. So… you know… not helpful in the least with our current predicament.
We explain to the nurse the problem, and she responds, in the most condescending voice possible, ‘Well, you walked INTO the ER, so clearly you CAN walk.’
Both my boyfriend and myself are just stunned by the audacity of the statement. When he came in at triage he gave his pain as an eight. We are now telling them it has gotten worse, and the response we’re getting is basically ‘walk it off, p****.’
Attempts to reason with her are fruitless — she just repeats the same thing to us and even implies that we are being ungrateful for the better prescription for pain medicine (‘Originally, we were only prescribing you ibuprofen, but we were nice enough to write you this prescription, too’). After arguing in circles with her for a few minutes, my boyfriend builds up enough rage-adrenaline to heave himself out of bed and just grit through the pain, though he turns bright red in doing it. The nurse seems to take this as a victory and flounces off — no offer for a wheelchair or crutches, even just to get to the car.
On the way to the car we agreed that unless one of us is actively dying, we’re going to the next town over for ER care from now on.
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:58
Numb To Death
Hospital, Kansas, USA | Healthy | November 10, 2017
(Earlier this year I have cataract surgery on my right eye, and I am very nervous about it, never having had eye surgery before. The nurse knows this and is doing her best to keep me calm while waiting for the surgeon. Then this happens:)
Me: “Will I feel anything during surgery?”
Nurse: “Oh, no, your eye will be dead!”
Me: “…”
Nurse: “Sorry, numb! Your eye will be numb!”
(Whew.)
florida80
10-14-2019, 18:59
You’re A Cabron
California, Hospital, Language & Words, USA | Healthy | November 10, 2017
(I, and two friends, go to visit a friend in the hospital. We know his room number, but it doesn’t correlate to the floor he is on, so we head back down to reception to find that out. When we get there, there are people ahead of us. One of them rips into the receptionist (who is in a security guard uniform) because they hadn’t been speaking English. At least half the population of Orange County speaks Spanish, if not natively, very fluently, like most of southern California. I offer my opinion:)
Me: “I think the basic problem here is that you’re an a**-hole.”
Man: “You think I’m an a**-hole because I think they should speak English?”
Me: “Yes. That’s why I think you’re an a**-hole.”
(He tries to offer up every racist justification in the book, and in reply to each one, I say:)
Me: “And you’re an a**-hole.”
(After about 30 seconds of being reminded just what part of the human anatomy he was, he got disgusted and left. I didn’t notice it at the time, but apparently the receptionist/security guard spent the entire time trying desperately not to laugh, and nearly succeeding. I sincerely hope she went home and told her family the story over dinner — in Spanish.)
florida80
10-14-2019, 19:03
It’s A Gay Mole-Hunt
LGBTQ, Medical Office, UK | Healthy | November 9, 2017
(I have gone to the doctor’s about a mole I am suspicious of. I have spent close to five minutes with the doctor going over what seems different about it, and showing her pictures of it before I noticed the change. I keep pictures of my moles because my mum was diagnosed earlier in life, and it has made me rather paranoid about them. The doctor has done nothing but listen, smile, and “hmm…” every now and again. She stops me mid-sentence.)
Doctor: “Are you gay?”
Me: “What?”
Doctor: “Are you gay?”
Me: “Yes. Does that have something to do with my mole?”
Doctor: “No, it’s just my family thinks my nephew might be gay, and I’m wondering if you want to help me find out.”
Me: *stunned* “No, I don’t. I want to find out whether my mole changing means I have cancer.”
Doctor: “That’s a shame. We really want to know.”
(She sits there not focusing on anything for a few seconds.)
Me: “My mole?”
Doctor: *sitting upright* “Look, will you help me or not?”
(I didn’t answer and left the room. I made a complaint before leaving and ended up signing with a new doctor. I got a letter from the old doctor apologising for her behaviour, but my mum tells me she still works there, and is still trying to find out if her nephew is gay.)
florida80
10-14-2019, 19:03
Your Wisdom Is Toothless
Dentist, Massachusetts, USA | Healthy | November 9, 2017
(I am visiting an oral surgeon for the first time after getting a referral from my dentist for severe jaw pain that has been an issue for years.)
Me: “My jaw clicks when I open my mouth, and it hurts a lot if I try to keep my mouth open for a long time.”
Doctor: “Okay, let’s take some X-rays.”
(We take the X-rays and the doctor comes back to me.)
Doctor: “This issue is not something that I would recommend surgery for; it won’t fix the problem. But you do have impacted wisdom teeth.”
Me: “Okay, what would you recommend for the jaw pain? And I know the top right wisdom tooth has been causing me a lot of pain as well. I was going to get a referral for that.”
Doctor: “I won’t operate on your jaw for the jaw pain. It won’t help.”
Me: “Okay, but is there anything you can recommend that might help?”
Doctor: “I won’t do surgery unless I think it will help, and in this case it won’t help.”
(Repeat me asking for something besides surgery a few more times with the same answer.)
Doctor: “Okay, I’m going to see if we can get approval from the insurance for the wisdom teeth. You should hear back from us in a few weeks to schedule an appointment.”
(Fast forward a few weeks. I get a letter in the mail saying I have been approved to have three of my wisdom teeth removed, with no mention of the fourth (the only one that was bothering me). Never went back. Why would I trust someone to do surgery on me when they are incapable of listening to anything I said?)
florida80
10-14-2019, 19:04
That’s The Worst Tasting Peanut Butter Ever
California, Medical Office, Sacramento, USA | Healthy | November 8, 2017
(I’m working with the nephrologist at our clinic when I read an exchange between her and a lab tech in our EMR system.)
Lab Tech: “Patient was given a jug for collecting the 24-hour urine test but was unable to fit the total volume in the jug, so she put the rest in a peanut butter jar. Please re-order test as this is an unacceptable container and will have to be re-done. We will give her two jugs.”
Nephrologist: “Test re-ordered. Hopefully no more peanut butter jars this time…”
(The 24-hour urine test comes with patient instructions that say in big bold letters not to use any container but the jugs provided, and to get another jug if needed.)
florida80
10-15-2019, 21:28
That’s The Worst Tasting Peanut Butter Ever
California, Medical Office, Sacramento, USA | Healthy | November 8, 2017
(I’m working with the nephrologist at our clinic when I read an exchange between her and a lab tech in our EMR system.)
Lab Tech: “Patient was given a jug for collecting the 24-hour urine test but was unable to fit the total volume in the jug, so she put the rest in a peanut butter jar. Please re-order test as this is an unacceptable container and will have to be re-done. We will give her two jugs.”
Nephrologist: “Test re-ordered. Hopefully no more peanut butter jars this time…”
(The 24-hour urine test comes with patient instructions that say in big bold letters not to use any container but the jugs provided, and to get another jug if needed
florida80
10-15-2019, 21:29
You’ve Got Things Back To Front
Canada, Manitoba, Pharmacy, Winnipeg | Healthy | November 8, 2017
(At our pharmacy we have cashiers who run the till when customers pick up their prescriptions. The cashiers have no pharmacy school education. A woman is picking up an antibiotic for a urinary tract infection.)
Customer: *in a loud voice* “I keep getting these urinary tract infections!”
Cashier: *awkwardly* “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”
Customer: *still very loud* “Do you think it’s because I wipe from back to front? They say you shouldn’t but I’ve done it all my life!”
Cashier: *trying very hard to remain professional* “Er… I really couldn’t say.”
(Meanwhile the rest of the staff are trying very hard not to laugh out loud.)
florida80
10-15-2019, 21:29
And Every Male Reader Just Crossed His Legs
Bookstore, Pennsylvania, USA | Healthy | November 8, 2017
(A lady calls into our bookstore. We are a private, Christian, non-profit organization. She wants to know about circumcision and any materials pertaining to that subject. I am confused as to why she wants it.)
Lady: “Hi, do you guys have any books on circumcision?”
Me: “Uh… no. That is mainly a Jewish practice, started in the Old Testament by Abraham and his family as a holy covenant with God.”
Lady: “That’s fascinating! Well, my nephew has just been born and the family was talking about it, and I didn’t know what it was. Every time I ask they avoid the subject with me.”
(After explaining to her what it was and why people did it, I told her that the practice today is done by a trained professional called the Mohel or by a medical professional.)
Lady: “So, it’s not as bad as it sounds! So do you think I could do it on my boyfriend? Here he is now!”
(Her boyfriend apparently walked into the room. She proceeded to check his penis to see if he was circumcised and tell me the gory details over the phone.)
Lady: “Can it be done with some scissors?”
Me: “Um… no… you would have to go to the hospital for that.”
Lady: “But you said it was not that bad!”
Me: “Yes, but if it’s not done right you can seriously hurt your boyfriend.”
Lady: “Oh. But Abraham did it with a knife!”
Me: “That was a long time ago and I’m sure he had divine intervention to help him!”
florida80
10-15-2019, 21:30
A Miscarriage Of Justice
Medical Office, Texas, USA | Healthy | November 7, 2017
(My husband and I have recently found out we’re pregnant. We’re excited but also nervous since a year before I had a traumatizing and painful miscarriage. We’re at the clinic where three weeks prior they did an ultrasound but said it was too early. But upon our return this ultrasound showed a fetus but no growth or heartbeat. We’re devastated to say the least. My husband had to step out for a few minutes. The doctor comes back in with blood test results.)
Doctor: “Your choices are to miscarry naturally or have a procedure for it to get taken out. My schedule is tight so we may need to try naturally first.”
Me: “Isn’t it… dangerous for me to try naturally, given my history?”
Doctor: *heavy sigh* “All right, we’ll schedule you for next week when I have an opening. [Nurse] will give you a packet of the information. You’ll be put under so as usual, no food or drink after midnight and no alcohol or recreational drugs 48 hours before. So for the next few days PARTAY IT UP! It’ll probably make you feel better.”
(He then puts his hand on my leg, which I’ve made clear I can’t stand people touching me.)
Me: *trying to keep from bawling* “You are a psychopath. Come near me and I will take your stethoscope and shove it so far up your a** you can hear your own heartbeat, if you have one. I’m going to go find a real doctor.”
(I ran out of there as fast as I could, found my now confused, then angry, husband, and left. I spent an hour in the car crying my eyes out, which might have been eased had I a doctor with empathy. I later found a different doctor that handled the situation properly and discovered the first doctor’s practice was eventually shut down due to fraud and malpractice. Good riddance.)
florida80
10-15-2019, 21:31
Idiot Number One
Medical Office, Tennessee, USA | Healthy | November 7, 2017
(I’m a nurse and am bringing a patient back to do blood pressure, temperature, and a urine check before they see the doctor.)
Me: “All right, ma’am, this is going to be your room, but do you feel as if you could pee in a cup for me real quick?”
Patient: “No, not right now.”
Me: “That all right! I’ll be right back with my blood pressure cuff to check your blood pressure, okay? We can get you some water to drink after that.”
Patient: “Okay, but I really need to pee, and do you need me to save any of it to check for infection?”
florida80
10-15-2019, 21:31
Inject A Little Compassion
Hospital, USA | Healthy | November 7, 2017
(My 12-year-old friend has many physical health problems, so she has to be at the hospital a lot. She has had many surgeries and medical procedures, and therefore has built up a bit of pain tolerance as well as being able to go for longer periods of time without food. My friend and her mom get onto the elevator. My friend has eaten nothing for over a day; she is very tired, and we all had a long day at school with lots of work and homework. Before the operation, she has to take a medication. She has a fear of needles, so she always takes medication via pill when she can. This takes longer, as the pill needs longer to work, but they are scheduled accordingly.)
Doctor: “Let me get the shot.”
Friend’s Mom: “Actually, she request—”
Doctor: “Ugh, she doesn’t need to do that. She’s not a little kid!”
Nurse #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Actually, they requested the pill, because [Friend] has anxiety and we don’t want her to have a panic attack before surgery.”
Doctor: “She needs to stop being a special snowflake and grow up!”
Friend: “I was diagnosed by Dr. [Name] seven years ago. Do you think I want panic attacks?”
Doctor: “Fine.”
(The doctor goes to get the medication. My friend’s mom and the nurse leave the room. Suddenly the doctor rushes out and sticks her with the needle.)
Friend: *is taken by surprise and tenses up, making the shot hurt more, and starts to have a panic attack*
Friend’s Mom & Nurses: “What’s going on?!”
([Nurses #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) and #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] rush to help [Friend].)
Friend’s Mom: “What the f*** are you doing?!”
Doctor: “She’s just a stupid kid! You don’t know anything about medicine anyway!”
Friend’s Mom: “I’m a nurse! I WORK here!”
(They did the surgery, and it turned out the pain medication didn’t work too well because the doctor injected it wrong.)
florida80
10-15-2019, 21:32
Juiced Up On Idiocy
Hospital, New Jersey, USA | Healthy | November 6, 2017
(I’m a nurse working on a medical-surgical floor. One night, I am assigned to a certain patient who is known to be extremely difficult, and honestly, a bit of an idiot. He is very uncooperative, and won’t even let us put an IV in him. He has a mess of medical problems, particularly uncontrolled diabetes. We check all diabetics’ blood sugar levels throughout the day in order to control their levels with insulin shots.)
Me: “Good morning. I have to check your blood sugar.”
Patient: “Whatever.”
(I check the level and it’s shockingly low. A normal blood sugar level is 60 – 120. His is 40.)
Me: “Sir, your sugar is very low. Let me get you some juice to boost it up.”
Patient: “I can’t drink juice. I’m diabetic.”
Me: “Yes, but in this case, juice will help boost your sugar quickly. We don’t want it to drop any lower. Lemme get you orange juice, okay?”
Patient: “Fine.”
Me: *comes back later with a cup of OJ* “Here.”
Patient: “I don’t want that.”
Me: “Sir, I just told you that you need to take some juice for your sugar.”
Patient: “I don’t like OJ.”
Me: *a little annoyed that he didn’t tell me so in the first place* “All right. What will you take?”
Patient: *after a few minutes thinking* “I want apple juice.”
Me: “Fine.” *leaves and comes back with apple juice* “Here. Drink this.”
Patient: “I don’t want that.”
Me: *at this point, I’m in complete disbelief* “Sir, you just told me you would drink if I got you apple juice instead of OJ!”
Patient: “I’m diabetic. I can’t drink juice.”
Me: “But your sugar is low and we really need to boost it up. It’s dangerous to have low blood sugar.”
Patient: *getting angry* “You can’t force me to do what I don’t wanna do! Don’t try to trick me into taking that juice! I don’t even like apple juice!”
(At this point, I’m about ready to throw the juice in his face. I leave the room just as the doctor passes by with some surgical students, asking what’s up. I explain the situation to the doctor.)
Doctor: “Let us talk to him.” *takes the juice from me and walks in with the students*
(I leave to take care of another patient. Five minutes later, I return to see the students coming out of the room one by one, all of them shaking their heads and chuckling. Finally the doctor comes out and I ask him if he took the juice.)
Doctor: *shakes his head* “That man is an absolute idiot. Just make sure he gets breakfast. If he passes out, let us know.”
florida80
10-15-2019, 21:32
A Cereal Snacker
Hospital, New Jersey, USA | Healthy | November 6, 2017
(I’m a hospital nurse. In my experience, some patients tend to see the hospital as some sort of medical hotel, where they’re allowed to ask for whatever they like whenever they like just because they’re sick.)
Patient: *at two in the morning, at the other end of the unit* “HEY! HEY! SOMEBODY HELP ME OUT!”
Me: *coming in, resisting the urge to smack him for waking up the d*** unit instead of just using his call bell* “Yes, sir, how can I help you?”
Patient: “I want cereal.”
Me: *utter disbelief* “Sir, it’s two in the morning. We don’t have any cereal.”
Patient: “Then go to the kitchen and get me some cereal.”
Me: “The kitchen is closed and won’t open until morning. You’ll have to wait until breakfast.”
Patient: “But I’m hungry now!”
(Keep in mind that this patient has a history of uncontrolled diabetes and has even lost a foot. He usually keeps a stash of food in his room against our advice, and his blood sugar is always extremely high due to snacking and refusing medications. We always try to limit his snacks to better control his sugar.)
Me: “Sir, you already had your dinner and your snack for tonight. You need to wait until morning. We don’t have any more snacks for you.”
Patient: “This is the worst hospital ever. First you try to poison me with your whacked drugs and then you wanna starve me all night long? Why can’t you give me any cereal?”
Me: *already past my limit and trying to keep an even tone* “Because this is a hospital, not a hotel. I’m not your maid; I’m your nurse. I’m not here to enable your bad habits and give you whatever you want just because you want it. I’m here to help you maintain your health. But you’ve been uncooperative, rude, and downright disrespectful. You don’t like how things are here? You have the right to refuse. And you have the right to leave. But you can guarantee that you will be back. And you keep heading down this path, you can also bet that you’re gonna have more problems, too.”
Patient: “…”
Me: “…”
Patient: “…I’ll go to sleep and wait for breakfast, then.”
florida80
10-15-2019, 21:33
Pink Eye To Your Red Face
British Columbia, Canada, College & University, Medical Office | Healthy | November 6, 2017
(I’m in my second year of university, working part time and in full courses for science with labs. I don’t exactly have free time at convenient hours, so I decide to go to the doctor on campus to confirm my suspicion. They ask me to fill out a form covering the basics, including pregnancy, STDs, allergies, and a list of symptoms. I make it quite clear what my issue is.)
Doctor: “Hello, [My Name]. How are you feeling?”
Me: “Not bad.”
Doctor: “Do you need a pregnancy test?”
Me: “Uh… no.”
Doctor: “Well, we can screen for STDs. It will take about a week to get results back.”
Me: “That’s… that’s not what I came in for.”
Doctor: “Oh.” *looks at chart* “Why are you here, then?”
Me: *points to my swollen closed eye and slightly swollen face* “I think I have pink eye?”
(I don’t really know how he missed it, but he wrote me the prescription for antibiotics and I went on my way.)
florida80
10-15-2019, 21:34
The Situation Is Agonizingly Fluid
Medical Office, Non-Dialogue, Pennsylvania, USA | Healthy | November 5, 2017
I had some issues with ovarian cysts when I was in high school, so I had to go in for a pelvic ultrasound. In the instructions we received prior the appointment I was told I needed to drink 32 oz of water before coming in so that my bladder would be full, which helps them to get better images. Now, I was 15 and very skinny. I had just gone through a growth spurt and at 5’5″ I weighed in around 100 pounds. I drank the water and immediately had to pee; I looked down, my pelvic area was bulging already. This was 10 minutes after I drank the water, right as we were leaving, and it was a 30 minute drive to the office.
Needless to say, that drive, through a bumpy, uneven construction site, was miserable. I was in such physical pain by the time we got to the doctor that I was in tears sitting in the waiting room. When I finally got called back to the ultrasound room and I lay down on the table, the ultrasound tech gave my visibly full bladder, by this point halfway to a pregnant belly, a bit of a side eye, but continued with her explanation of the procedure. I heard none of this, as all of my energy and focus were tied up in not urinating all over that table.
She begins the ultrasound, poking at the watery skin ball that is my pelvis, until after a few moments she stops. She can’t see anything. There’s too much liquid.
I ask her what to do and she tells me that I need to go to the bathroom (which was luckily adjacent to the exam room) and “pee a little, then stop” so that there would be a good amount of liquid for her. By this point, I have been in intense physical pain because of this full bladder for roughly an hour, so these instructions felt more than a little impossible. But, being a determined kid, I went in there and against all odds, I did it. So the rest of the ultrasound goes off without a hitch, and afterward I am finally able to fully relax my bladder for the first time that day.
As I was getting ready to leave, the technician asked me how much water I had been instructed to drink, and was appalled when I told her 32 oz. She went off about how they should’ve looked at my chart to see my height and weight because they would’ve been able to tell just from that that the amount should’ve been lower, and it was lucky that I was able to control my bladder so well; otherwise, the whole appointment would’ve been a waste.
A few days later my mom gets a call from the doctor’s office and guess what? Turns out the whole appointment was, in fact, a waste, since the notes were wrong in my file and the ultrasound tech performed an abdominal ultrasound instead of a pelvic one. I was less than pleased.
At least I knew not to drink so much water for the next one
florida80
10-15-2019, 21:34
A Significant Shift In Moods
Hospital, USA | Healthy | November 4, 2017
(I work night shift in a hospital lab. On night shift, there are three working at a time with my same job title, which is the highest level of certification in the department, other than our medical director. In all, there are six night shifters with that certification for the entire fairly large specialty hospital, and if we can’t work, we figure it out with one of the three who are off. One night, due to family emergencies, sickness, and a coworker who “wasn’t in the mood to come to work today” (they were fired weeks later), I and one other end up working a night shift. I am filling in unexpectedly, and have just gotten off a flight that morning and haven’t slept in thirty hours by the time morning comes. The other coworker has a fever of 103; we make the executive decision that I’ll do anything requiring patient contact and if his fever goes above 104, we’ll call the ER downstairs. It also turns out to be what we call a “must be a full moon” night. By morning, we’re both almost crying from sheer exhaustion, sleep deprivation, and misery. Come morning, there is an employee appreciation breakfast.)
Day Shifter: “How was the night?”
Me: “I haven’t slept in thirty hours, [Coworker] has a fever of 103, four analyzers broke, the ICU is literally out of beds, they’re tripling up patients into the double rooms in MedSurg, and the ER is using the hallway as overflow for the waiting room.”
Day Shifter: “Well, we were wondering if you two could stay maybe an hour late so all the day shift could go to the breakfast?”
(We told them no way. They weren’t happy. At that point, we didn’t care.)
florida80
10-15-2019, 21:35
NovoPAIN!
Arkansas, Dentist, USA | Healthy | November 3, 2017
(I am having a filling in my tooth replaced with a new material.)
Me: “So, doctor, I’ve had problems in the past with Novocain not really working with the standard dose. I may need a slightly larger dose to fully numb the area up.”
Dentist: “It’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”
(I do worry, but I decide maybe he’s using something a little stronger than I’ve been given before. He begins to drill out the current filling and I jump, because I can clearly feel the vibrations, when I know I shouldn’t.)
Me: “No, stop! It’s not numbed!”
Dentist: “No, that’s normal. Don’t worry.”
(He continues to drill, and I can FEEL IT. I squirm and yell and try to smack his arm with my free hand, but he just tells me to be still. He continues on, and for a brief moment, the pain is so intense, everything looks silver. So, I do the only thing I know that will stop him at this point. I bite him, which tears his latex glove.)
Dentist: “What was that for?!”
Me: “PAIN IS F****** SILVER!”
(In the end, I got my larger dose of Novocain to fully numb the area, and a note in my file that I need at least a dose and a half.)
florida80
10-15-2019, 21:35
A Needling Suspicion You Did That Wrong
Blood Donation, New Hampshire, USA | Healthy | November 3, 2017
(I am donating blood at a traveling clinic that has come to my college. I have a rather intense needle phobia and like to use donating blood as a way to get over this fear just as much as an opportunity to help others. However, when the needle is in me I become visibly tense and my breathing quickens. Sometimes the nurses worry that I am going to pass out or go into shock, so I always warn them about my fear, assure them that I will NOT pass out, that I’m just anxious, and ask them to count to three before they stick me, which reduces my anxiety. They are usually very understanding of this request.)
Nurse: “Okay, we’re all set now. You’re just going to feel a pinch and a sting.”
Me: “Can you please count before you do it?”
Nurse: *legitimately confused about this request* “Count? Why?”
Me: “I have a bit of a needle phobia. I’m not going to pass out; I just don’t want to be surprised by the needle.”
Nurse: *still with a confused expression* “Okay…”
(She then proceeds to count to three as fast as she can… WHILE she is already sticking me with the needle. Lo and behold, I panic, push myself several inches up in the chair, and feel tears begin to stream from my eyes involuntarily.)
Nurse: “Oh! Well, I didn’t know you were gonna jump up in your chair like that!”
(She leaves to tend to other donors. I begin to calm down, but tears are still streaming down my face as a result of the unpleasant surprise.)
Nurse: *coming back to check on me, notices my face* “Is… is something sad going on in your life right now?”
Me: “Nothing other than the nightmares I’m gonna have tonight…”
florida80
10-15-2019, 21:36
Maybe Dying Doesn’t Seem So Bad
Clinic, USA | Healthy | November 2, 2017
(I live in a small town in the middle of nowhere. There is a small hospital, as well as a holistic health clinic. The answering machine for the holistic health clinic says:)
Clinic: “You have reached [Clinic]. We are open from [time] to [time]. If it’s an emergency, go to the hospital in [City a little over an hour away]. If you cannot make it to that hospital, go to the hospital in [Smaller City around 40 minutes away]. ONLY IF YOU WILL NOT LIVE to get to that hospital should you go to the local hospital. In that case, good luck… Please leave a message after the beep.”
(The unfortunate thing is they are quite right. While the staff seem nice enough, they have so little practice that they really aren’t any good. I got a small gash in my knee once, and needed stitches. Somehow the remaining scar is now double the size of the original gash. Since then I’ve always made a point to go to a different hospital if I need medical care.)
florida80
10-16-2019, 21:13
Maybe Dying Doesn’t Seem So Bad
Clinic, USA | Healthy | November 2, 2017
(I live in a small town in the middle of nowhere. There is a small hospital, as well as a holistic health clinic. The answering machine for the holistic health clinic says:)
Clinic: “You have reached [Clinic]. We are open from [time] to [time]. If it’s an emergency, go to the hospital in [City a little over an hour away]. If you cannot make it to that hospital, go to the hospital in [Smaller City around 40 minutes away]. ONLY IF YOU WILL NOT LIVE to get to that hospital should you go to the local hospital. In that case, good luck… Please leave a message after the beep.”
(The unfortunate thing is they are quite right. While the staff seem nice enough, they have so little practice that they really aren’t any good. I got a small gash in my knee once, and needed stitches. Somehow the remaining scar is now double the size of the original gash. Since then I’ve always made a point to go to a different hospital if I need medical care.)
florida80
10-16-2019, 21:13
A Meat Coochie Would Have Just Been Too Much
Food & Drink, Hospital, Language & Words, USA, Washington | Healthy | November 2, 2017
(I work at a hospital, and it’s my job to get the food orders for all the patients. This occurs one morning during the breakfast rush.)
Me: “Hi, thank you for calling room service. My name is [My Name]. Can I get your name and room number, please?”
(The patient tells me their name and room number.)
Me: “All right, what can I get for you this morning!”
Patient: “I want the coochie!”
Me: “I’m sorry… you want what?”
Patient: “The coochie! The vegetable coochie!”
Me: “The… quiche?”
Patient: “Yeah, that!”
(The rest of the order went on normally, but I had to mute myself because I was laughing so hard.)
florida80
10-16-2019, 21:14
A Surgeon Seriously Lacking In Wisdom
Connecticut, Dentist, USA | Healthy | November 2, 2017
(I was born with what is called lateral incisors anodontia, which means I am missing lateral incisors, the teeth in my upper jaw on either side of my front teeth. It’s all over my dental records and quite clear from X-rays or just looking inside my mouth that thing’s aren’t quite normal.)
Oral Surgeon: *looking at an X-ray* “The lower wisdom teeth are impacted, so they definitely have to come out. I see the uppers have come through, but we should take those out as well.”
Me: “Are you sure the uppers need to come out? I was born without lateral incisors, so the wisdom teeth came in fine are far enough forward to meet the lower molars.”
Oral Surgeon: *looks in my mouth for a few seconds* “Yes, they still need to come out.”
Me: “Okay, fine. How much will this cost?”
Oral Surgeon: “Extracting the impacted teeth is covered by your insurance, but it will cost $300 to extract the other two.”
(My family and I are royally ticked off about the out of pocket cost, but don’t see any way to avoid it. We decide to pay for the extraction up front and return in a week for the surgery. I choose not to get put under so I am (thankfully) awake and aware when, after the oral surgeon injects Novocaine into the root of an upper wisdom tooth and starts to grip it with a tool, this happens.)
Oral Surgeon: “What the h***? What the f*** is going on here?”
Nurse: “What is it?”
Oral Surgeon: “Are there missing teeth?”
Nurse: “Let me count.”
Me: *through the tools and the drugs* “Yes.” *I reach up and tap where my lateral incisors would be* “These.”
(The nurse and oral surgeon walk a way for a moment to talk. When they come back:)
Oral Surgeon: “It looks like you are missing your lateral incisors. Your wisdom teeth are far enough forward that they meet your lower molars. There is clear wear on them so you’re obviously using them when you chew. Since they are being used, would you prefer to keep them in?”
Me: “Yes! I told you all this during the consultation.”
(On the plus side I got to keep two wisdom teeth. On the down side, we still had to deal with this office for over a month, since they were very reluctant to give back the money we paid for extractions that never happened despite telling us immediately after surgery that everything would be refunded in full!)
florida80
10-16-2019, 21:14
Your Plan Doesn’t Have A Leg To Stand On
Florida, Hospital, USA | Healthy | November 1, 2017
(My aunt is pregnant with my cousin after years of miscarriages and a stillbirth. She’s at one of her ultrasounds when the doctor notices something weird.)
Doctor: “I think your baby is malformed.”
Aunt: “What are you talking about?”
Doctor: “I mean she isn’t developing properly. She might be born disfigured.”
Aunt: “How bad are we talking? She’s not going to die, is she?”
Doctor: “I can’t tell for certain, but it looks like she’s missing a leg.”
Aunt: “What?! What do you mean my baby is missing a leg?!”
Doctor: “I mean unless it’s hidden somewhere, it’s gone.”
(Over the next few weeks the doctor subtly implied over and over again that she should terminate the pregnancy due to the malformation. She ended up switching doctors when he got fed up and straight up told her to terminate because apparently allowing a child to exist with a deformity was akin to abuse. When she gave birth, my cousin indeed only had one leg. She learned how to walk with a prosthetic at a very young age and is now 23, athletic, and happy, and you wouldn’t know she only had one leg if she didn’t show you her prosthetic. We’re all still horrified that the doctor thought terminating her in the name of “protecting” her was the only course of action, especially after my aunt and uncle had suffered so many previous losses.)
florida80
10-16-2019, 21:15
When Collecting Becomes A Disease
Canada, Hospital, Ontario | Healthy | November 1, 2017
(I’m the weird one here. I’m speaking to my doctor about getting caught up on my vaccines.)
Doctor: “So, what brings you in today?”
Me: *off the top of my head* “I have measles, mumps, rubella, tetanus, and meningitis. Should I get hepatitis or HPV next?”
Doctor: *giving me a strange look* “I’m sorry, what do you mean?”
Me: *realizing how I just worded that* “VACCINES! I want to get all my immunizations.”
florida80
10-16-2019, 21:17
Hard To Swallow That He Doesn’t Realize
Medical Office, New York, Rude & Risque, USA | Healthy | November 1, 2017
(I am getting X-rays done because I’m going to have a procedure done soon. Beforehand they make you drink this thick gooey liquid that supposedly makes it easier to take the X-rays. Before the doctor comes in, the nurse is asking me some preliminary questions.)
Nurse: “Do you have any difficulty swallowing?”
(Being as immature as I am, I have to try really hard to contain my laughter in order to answer no. Then the doctor comes in:)
Doctor: “Do you have any difficulty swallowing?”
(I try really hard not to laugh and say no.)
Doctor: “Are you sure? I’m gonna give you this thick liquid to swallow; it’s gonna feel a little slimy as it goes down your throat.”
(I can’t help it and crack up.)
Doctor: “Oooookay, I guess I’m going to have to describe this a different way. You’re the fifth person today that laughs when I explain this process, and that’s not even including the new nurse in training.”
florida80
10-16-2019, 21:18
The Workforce Is Strong With This One
Drug Store, Pharmacy | Healthy | October 31, 2017
(We have a giant inflatable ghost on display for Halloween. It doesn’t quite sit right and tends to lean to the side, so we frequently adjust it.)
Coworker: “[My name]! The ghost is falling again.”
Me: “Okay…”
(We spend about five minutes fiddling with it, until we get it to sit up right.)
Coworker: “Oh, no. His ascot got flipped backwards.”
(We proceed to grab boxes and stick-like things, trying to flip the ascot back around to no avail.)
Me: “OH! I’ve got it!”
(I run away with no explanation and return with a toy extendable lightsaber. I make the “vwing” noise and I flick it and extend the lightsaber. I succeed in straightening the ghost’s tie on the first attempt.)
Coworker: “…You just fixed the ascot of an inflatable ghost with a lightsaber.”
Me: “I love this job.”
florida80
10-16-2019, 21:18
He’ll Be In The Afterlife After The Birth
Hospital | Healthy | October 31, 2017
(It is Halloween. The hospital staff have put up decorations, but they’re minimal. I’m trying to wheel a patient who is in labor, to the room she was assigned, along with her husband.)
Patient’s Husband: “We should put her in the room with the witch hanging over the door.”
Me: “I’m sorry. That room’s actually a different size. I’m supposed to take you to room 79.”
Patient’s Husband: “But that room has a ghost. She wants a witch.”
Me: “The only room we have with that decoration is half the size of this one, and doesn’t have all the same equipment in it. This is the room you paid for.”
Patient’s Husband: “It has to be a witch. She’s been real nasty all week.”
(As she hears her husband say this, the wife is looking less and less pleased. She is a week overdue, and has been in for false labor pains the past two weeks.)
Me: “That’s interesting, but there aren’t any decorations inside the room anyway. What is inside this room is a much wider space for the doctor and nurses to provide her with better care.”
Patient’s Husband: “She wants a witch, so put her in the room with the witch.”
(Finally, the patient has had enough and speaks up.)
Patient: “Shut up. I want to get this kid out in whatever room the people who know what they’re doing think is best, you dumb troll!”
florida80
10-16-2019, 21:19
The Trouble With Trekkies
Clinic | Healthy | October 31, 2017
(During Halloween at my clinic, my boss allows us to dress up a little. Being a Star Trek fan, I wear a Starfleet medical uniform and download a Star Trek soundboard app on my phone.)
Patient: “Hello, sir, I am [name] and I’m here to see Dr. [name].”
Me: “Oh, yes, I have you here right on time. Just have a seat and we’ll call you soon.”
Patient: “Well, while you’re here, I don’t suppose you can scan me with your tricorder to see?”
Me: “Well, if you want me to!”
(I open my soundboard and start playing the tricorder sound as I start scanning him.)
Patient: “Hahaha! Oh, my god! I am laughing so hard, my chest is hurting!”
Coworker: “[My name], you’re such a nerd.”
Me: “I believe that goes with the uniform I’m wearing.”
florida80
10-16-2019, 21:19
How To Expline This To You
Australia, Hospital, Language & Words | Healthy | October 30, 2017
(Making bookings for patients is very easy. All I need is name, phone, modality, body part, and doctor name. I’ve been on the phone for a few minutes, the patient telling me a rather detailed explanation why she needs a scan of her back, yet not telling me anything I need to know. I’m polite, don’t interrupt, but I am spending too much time on this call and my coworker needs help with patients lined up.)
Me: “Okay. That doesn’t sound good. Did your doctor want an x-ray, ultrasound, or CT?”
Patient: “Scan of my back. My back.”
Me: “On your form your doctor gave you, did they write X.R., C.T. or U.S. anywhere?”
anguMe: “The paper the doctor gave you. Can you read it to me?”
Patient: “I have a paper. It says nothing.”
Me: *still very polite* “It doesn’t have your name on it? Not the doctor’s name and signature?”
Patient: “Yes. My name is [Patient].”
Me: *I can’t take it down until I know what they need and what room to start in, so I make a mental note for later* “Okay. Now the paper has nothing on it?” *I know it’s repetitive, but I have to confirm for what I have to say next if it’s true*
Patient: “Nothing. There’s nothing!”
Me: “Okay. So that means it’s invalid. You’d need to go to the doctors and get him to write you a referral.”
Patient: “It’s here!” *she’s now livid* ‘No! No. No. It says here!”
Me: “I’m sorry?”
Patient: “It says X.R. spline—” *yes, s.p.l.i.n.e.* “—Lubosac; my back!”
(I gathered it was an x-ray lumbosacral spine, but don’t you just love how information materialises?)
florida80
10-16-2019, 21:20
Radiating Pure Incompetence
Health & Body, Office, Text/Chat/Email, UK | Healthy | October 30, 2017
(I work for the safety department overseeing several sites that my company is working on. I mainly focus on radiation exposure. We receive daily reports of exposure for all men working in radioactive areas with personal dosimeters that record in real time. Each site has one person who collates the information before passing it on. One site has recently had to employ a new person. He has sent the information through and I notice a problem. I reply to his email.)
Me: “[Person], is this information correct?”
Person: “Yes. It is correct.”
Me: “Okay. I thought I would check as many of your workers have far exceeded the legal limit in just one day. Has there been an incident?”
Person: “No. No incident. The information is correct. I have checked with dosimetry on site, and they confirm.”
(I don’t believe him, so I email the safety manager on site just to double check, but he doesn’t respond. I decide to pry further.)
Me: “[Person], can I assume that the workers have been sent home with pay? I will need to report this.”
Person: “No. They’re still working. I won’t be able to reach them until they finish.”
Me: “Well, you’re going to have to. They have far exceeded the legal limit for a year’s worth of exposure. As per policy, this will have to be reported and they will need to be monitored. Can you please check with [Safety Manager]?”
Person: “It’s just one Sievert! And no, [Safety Manager] is in a meeting.”
Me: “[Person], a Sievert is a large dose. We work in micro and millisieverts. Are you absolutely certain this information is correct?”
Person: “The information IS correct. That is the end of it!”
(I was even less convinced and spoke to my manager. He contacted the site manager and it was decided that the workers be sent home and everyone pulled off until the matter was resolved. It turned out no one there thought it necessary to train the new person, despite him having no experience with ionising radiation. The workers were only exposed to a few microseiverts and they were allowed to return to work. This incident reflected so badly on us it risked our contract with the site, and the manager, safety manager, and the new person were relocated. I got landed with the new person, and he’s made it his life goal to make my life miserable, as payment for his and his managers’ mistake.)
florida80
10-16-2019, 21:20
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A Disheartening Way To Treat The Issue
Australia, Car, Health & Body, New South Wales, Parents/Guardians | Healthy | October 30, 2017
(I have a day off so I wasn’t planning on doing much other than sleeping in. At about 9:30 am I get a call from my dad.)
Dad: “Hey, sweetie, are you doing anything at the moment?”
Me: *lying in bed* “No, not anything important. Whats up?”
Dad: “The coolant hose has come loose on the car again. Could I get you to come pick me up to get some more coolant?”
Me: “Yeah, sure, no problem.”
(I go and get him, chatting about inconsequential things, asking about each others’ weekends. We get the coolant and we are heading back to his car. This happens about half an hour after I pick him up.)
Dad: “Yeah, I wasn’t feeling that great this morning… About an hour ago I started getting chest pain and was thinking I should go to the hospital, but I’m feeling okay now so maybe I should just go home.”
Me: *being sceptical in my head* “Nah, if you were worried, Dad, I’d go up there. I will go with you if you’d like. I’ll stay with you. It can get kinda boring up there by yourself.”
Dad: “Oh, well, only if you’re not doing anything. It might be a good idea.”
Me: “Sure thing; it’s better to be safe than sorry.”
Dad: “Only if you’re sure you’re not doing anything
Me: “I’m sure; I will meet you up there.”
(I follow him up only to find a parking space at the bottom of the hill, so we walk up to the top and get admitted into ED. Long story short, Dad had had a minor heart attack, three in fact, the last one as we were walking up the hill, and he just wanted to go home. I spent five hours with him, him asking me not to tell any family members because he didn’t want to stress them out. Mum nearly had a heart attack herself when she found out, mainly because he waited five hours to tell her! Please, please, people — get it checked out sooner rather than later!)
florida80
10-16-2019, 21:21
Drugs Make You Quackers
Chicago, Illinois, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | October 29, 2017
(My mom is a nurse practitioner at a health clinic primarily for homeless people. Naturally she has some interesting exchanges with her patients. Her favorite one to tell is about a patient who had come in for the first time, and she was asking all the preliminary questions.)
Mom: “Do you have any allergies?”
Patient: “I’m allergic to penicillin.”
Mom: “What sort of reaction do you have when you take it?”
Patient: “It makes me talk like Donald Duck.”
(After trying to hold in laughter, my mom had to explain to him that while his “reaction” was more of a mild mutation, it was not considered a harmful allergy. It’s her favorite story to tell next to the woman who referred to the lice on her head as “movable dandruff.”)
florida80
10-16-2019, 21:21
BerEFT Of Paying
Australia, Hospital, Reception | Healthy | October 28, 2017
(At the end of a visit patients return to the front desk to settle accounts. Our EFT Machine likes to be difficult sometimes so I do as much as I can on it so the patient doesn’t get confused.)
Me: “Okay, was that cheque, savings, or credit?”
Patient: “Credit.”
(I select credit and put the EFT Machine in front of them.)
Me: “Pin, please.”
(I look away. After hearing only four beeps, each button pressed beeps — four for the pin and one for enter — I go ahead and visually see only three buttons of the pin were entered. I press the yellow button once to erase it.)
Me: “Pin again, please. The buttons tend to stick.”
(Again I hear only four beeps and visually check. I repeat pressing the yellow button once.)
Me: “Once more, please. Really press down.”
(I hear four beeps again, but before I can press the yellow button the patient notices and presses it three times quickly. The machine makes an error beep and a big cross comes on the screen that cancels the payment.)
Me: “Okay. We only need to press that once. Let’s start again.”
(Little things like this that tend to be unnecessary mistakes and use more time than it should. Another example:)
Me: “Was that cheque, savings, or credit?”
(I notice on the screen it says debit, but debit and credit can be selected as the same thing. Debit cards are used in place of credit cards when ordering online and such. The patient looks at me wide-eyed.)
Patient: “I don’t have credit!”
(They panic faster than I can explain. It was a slip of the tongue, habitual, and not really a fuss.)
Patient: “Don’t put it on credit! It’s not credit!”
(I internally sighed.)
florida80
10-16-2019, 21:22
Their Lack Of Professionalism Is An Eye-Sore
Insurance, Medical Office, Pennsylvania, USA | Healthy | October 27, 2017
(My eye insurance changes when I got a new job, so I need to find a new doctor for my contacts exam. I choose one in the same building as my previous job at a pharmacy, as I’ve met [Doctor], who is a really nice guy, and call to make an appointment.)
Me: “Hi, before I make an appointment, I want to confirm that you take my insurance?”
Receptionist: “Oh, the plan offered by the local hospital? Of course we do.”
(I’m scheduled for the next open appointment, three months away. Fast forward to the day of the appointment. She copies my insurance cards, and I wait for my exam.)
Nurse: “[My Name]. Good afternoon, the doctor will be in to see you shortly.”
(In walks a short, bald, bearded man, not the tall, thin, bespectacled fellow I knew from the pharmacy, but I figure perhaps [Doctor] has expanded his practice or has a fill-in today. He proceeds to do my exam and tells me my script will be up front, no niceties, no introduction.)
Me: “Thank you! And I’m sorry, but I didn’t catch your name.” *primarily so I know not to schedule an appointment with him again*
Doctor: “[Doctor], of course!”
Me: “Oh, I apologize. I mistook the taller gentleman with glasses for you.”
Doctor: “He’s just the optician.”
(Cue the end of the awkwardness, and I go up front to pay my copay and get my script.)
Receptionist: “That will be [amount nearly $300].”
Me: “What? Shouldn’t it be $50 with my insurance and deductible?”
Receptionist: “Oh, we only take your insurance for eye emergencies.”
Me: *pays with mouth agape*
(She knew they only took my insurance for emergencies and scheduled me for an obviously non-emergent appointment. Then she copied my cards, again not pointing out that it wouldn’t cover my visit. And the doctor was an unfriendly, cold fellow to boot. Needless to say I never went back, even though my insurance has now changed to something they universally accept.)
florida80
10-16-2019, 21:22
A Labor-Intensive Work Environment
Colorado, Fast Food, Health & Body, USA, Westminster | Healthy | October 27, 2017
(I am working the cash register at a fast food restaurant. A pregnant woman comes up to me.)
Woman: “Hi, I’m in labor right now. Can I get a big glass of ice water?”
Me: *not sure I heard her correctly* “I… what?”
Woman: “Yeah, I just had a big contraction. Can I get some water?”
Me: “Uh… yeah, totally. Of course.”
(I grab her a cup and begin filling it with ice and water.)
Me: *jokingly* “So you’re not going to have the kid here, are you? I don’t know how to do that.”
Woman: *smirking* “No, I’m not going to have it here. Though you would not believe how backed up the highway is.”
(I give her the water and she rushes out. Her voice was strained throughout the conversation which makes total sense. I later told a coworker what I’d just gone through.)
Coworker: “Yeah, it happens. I had a woman in labor go through the drive-thru once.” *confused* “So you’ve been working food service for ten years and you’ve never had that happen once?”
Me: “Uh… no!”
florida80
10-16-2019, 21:23
A Few Needling Problems
Dentist, UK | Healthy | October 27, 2017
(I have an appointment with the dentist.)
Dentist: “Okay, please sit down and we will get to it!”
(I sit down and she looks in my mouth. I see a syringe just out of my view.)
Me: “What’s the syringe for?”
Dentist: Don’t worry. It won’t hurt a bit, and then we can get to work.”
Me: “No, what is the syringe for?”
(She sticks her thumb in my mouth, feeling my gums. She lifts the syringe and I push hard against her.)
Dentist: “What’s wrong? We won’t be able to get that tooth out unless you’re numbed up!”
Me: “I’m not getting a tooth out!”
Dentist: *angry* “THEN WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR?!”
(I don’t answer and just leave the room. As I leave the building I see her running up to me.)
Dentist: “Oh, you’re my 11 am! I can do your whitening. I’ll just need to get set up.”
Me: “I’m not letting you near my mouth again!”
(I registered with another dentist that week.)
florida80
10-16-2019, 21:23
There Are Prescribed Lunch Breaks
California, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | October 26, 2017
(I work in a pharmacy as an intern, and on the weekends, we only have one pharmacist on duty. It is company policy that employees have to take their unpaid lunch by the fifth hour on the clock. This happens when our pharmacist is out to lunch.)
Tech: “Hello there. Are you picking up or dropping off?”
Patient: “Picking up.”
Tech: “I’m sorry, but our pharmacist is on lunch. We can’t sell any prescriptions without a pharmacist here.”
Patient: “Why the h*** not?!”
Tech: “I’m sorry, but it is against the law for us to do that.”
Patient: “Just give it to me! I drove all the way here!”
Tech: “I can’t; it’s against the law, and we have to have a pharmacist here.”
Patient: “There should always be a pharmacist here; it’s a pharmacy! Why the h*** aren’t they here?!”
Tech: “She’s on her lunch right now. She’ll be back at 1:30, but I can’t do anything until then.”
Patient: “I want to talk to a manager!”
Tech: *calls manager*
Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t do anything until the pharmacist comes back from lunch. She has to take her lunch, too.”
Patient: “I’m complaining to corporate. What is their number? This is ridiculous!”
Manager: “It’s [number].”
(The patient storms off as the manager just shrugs.)
Manager: “Call all you want. What are they gonna do? Fire me for following the law?”
florida80
10-16-2019, 21:24
Check Comes With A Teleportation Fee
Illinois, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | October 26, 2017
(We get requests from companies requesting medical charts. We charge a fee to print and mail them. Charts are only mailed after receiving payment.)
Caller: “Hi, I’m calling from [Company] regarding the 25 chart review.”
Me: “Yes?”
Caller: “I was just wondering if you received the check yet?”
Me: *thinking maybe it came in today’s mail, which we hadn’t gotten yet* “When did you mail it?”
Caller: “Today.”
Me: “…then, no. We didn’t get it yet.”
florida80
10-16-2019, 21:24
Suddenly Anti-Antibiotic
Canada, Montreal, Pharmacy, Quebec | Healthy | October 26, 2017
Customer: “Hi, I’d like to fill this prescription, please.”
Me: “Very well, I’ll need your birthdate.”
Customer: “[Birthdate]. Hurry up, please.”
Me: “Any known allergies?”
Customer: “What? No! Look, it’s not my first time taking these pills. Just give it to me.”
Me: *taken aback* “Okay, sir, you may go in the waiting room.”
(A few minutes later the pharmacist explains the treatment to the customer.)
Pharmacist: “So, those pills are penicillin combined with another antibiotic—”
Customer: “Penicillin? What? I can’t take this! I’m deathly allergic to penicillin
florida80
10-17-2019, 22:25
Check Comes With A Teleportation Fee
Illinois, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | October 26, 2017
(We get requests from companies requesting medical charts. We charge a fee to print and mail them. Charts are only mailed after receiving payment.)
Caller: “Hi, I’m calling from [Company] regarding the 25 chart review.”
Me: “Yes?”
Caller: “I was just wondering if you received the check yet?”
Me: *thinking maybe it came in today’s mail, which we hadn’t gotten yet* “When did you mail it?”
Caller: “Today.”
Me: “…then, no. We didn’t get it yet.”
florida80
10-17-2019, 22:26
Suddenly Anti-Antibiotic
Canada, Montreal, Pharmacy, Quebec | Healthy | October 26, 2017
Customer: “Hi, I’d like to fill this prescription, please.”
Me: “Very well, I’ll need your birthdate.”
Customer: “[Birthdate]. Hurry up, please.”
Me: “Any known allergies?”
Customer: “What? No! Look, it’s not my first time taking these pills. Just give it to me.”
Me: *taken aback* “Okay, sir, you may go in the waiting room.”
(A few minutes later the pharmacist explains the treatment to the customer.)
Pharmacist: “So, those pills are penicillin combined with another antibiotic—”
Customer: “Penicillin? What? I can’t take this! I’m deathly allergic to penicillin
florida80
10-17-2019, 22:26
1 Part Bleach To 100 Parts Stupidity, Part 2
Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, Pittsburgh, USA | Healthy | October 25, 2017
(I am a pharmacy technician, not qualified to recommend drugs or dispense advice. Any questions about actual medicine, I am required to pass off to a pharmacist, even if I think I know the answer.)
Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”
Customer: *mumbling* “Um, I think I—” *mumbles* “—contact with bleach…”
Me: “I’m sorry, what? Could you repeat that?”
Customer: “I think I might have swallowed some bleach and was wondering if the pharmacist could recommend anything.”
Me: *trying not to look alarmed* “Well, if I were you, I would call the Poison Control Center, but I’ll check with the pharmacist.”
(I go back to the counter where the pharmacist is working.)
Me: “This guy says he might have ingested bleach and wants to know if you can recommend anything. I told him he should call the Poison Control Center.”
Pharmacist: “Yeah, that’s about it.”
(I go up to the front counter and repeat this advice to the customer.)
Customer: “Well, I drank some fluids and I’m feeling better now. I had some [soda], and some water, and some lemonade. My chest was hurting before but now it’s better. Do you know if bleach can make your chest hurt?”
Me: “Um… probably. If you swallowed bleach, it could hurt on the way down. You should probably call the Poison Control Center.”
Customer: “Eh, maybe I’ll call them tomorrow. If I’m not feeling better then, I can go to the emergency room, too.”
Me: “I would call them tonight if I were you, just to be safe. Do you want their number?”
(I write it down on the nearest piece of paper and hand it to him.)
Customer: “Yeah, thanks. I might call them tomorrow.”
(He wanders away, but comes back later. My coworker is an intern, studying to become a pharmacist, and gets to the counter first. I overhear their conversation.)
Customer: “I was wondering about water pills. What do they do?”
Coworker: “Um, they make you urinate.”
Customer: “Can I get some of those?”
Coworker: *realizing why he’s asking* “They don’t flush out your system; they’re used to lower blood pressure. And you would need a prescription.”
Customer: “Can I get one of those?”
Coworker: *bewildered* “We don’t give prescriptions here; we just fill them. You would need to go to a doctor.”
(The customer wanders away, apparently still confused about a lot of things.)
Me: “I hope he’s going to be okay.”
Pharmacist: “If he had really swallowed bleach, his throat would be burned. I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but there’s nothing else we can do.”
florida80
10-17-2019, 22:27
Your Boss Can Be A Real Swine
Bosses & Owners, Health & Body, Kentucky, Nursing Home, USA | Healthy | October 25, 2017
(I call in to my job as a certified nursing assistant at a nursing home. It is 2009.)
Me: “Hey, I can’t come in today because I have a fever of 104 and other flu symptoms.”
Nurse #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “I can’t let you call in unless you come here and have a nurse take your temperature.”
Me: “What? I live 15 miles away. My fever is really high and I have really bad cold chills.”
Nurse #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “You’ll probably get fired if you don’t come and let us take your temperature.”
(I drive the 15 miles to let them take my temperature. At this point, I’m almost hallucinating from the fever.)
Nurse #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Oh, your fever is 105 now.” *to other nurse* “Should she go home? We are kind of short today.”
Nurse #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “I don’t know. She could probably work.”
(I then collapse onto the chair, barely hearing them in a fever haze.)
Nurse #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Well, maybe she should go home?”
Nurse #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “I guess so.” *to me* “You can go home, I guess. But get a doctor’s note.”
(I then drove home, barely coherent. After going to the doctor I found out that I had SWINE FLU, or H1N1. And they wanted me to come to work, endangering both myself and the elderly residents! I quit a few months later.)
florida80
10-17-2019, 22:27
Could Be Better
Medical Office, USA | Healthy | October 25, 2017
(I have a chronic illness and find myself going to the office where my GP, the walk-in clinic, and phlebotomy lab are all located. There are two attendants at the front doors that help patients in and out of vehicles and bring wheelchairs. Here in the South, it’s pretty typical for strangers to greet you as you walk past or even ask how you are. “Pretty good,” is the expected answer, no matter what.)
Attendant: “Mornin’. How’re you doing today?”
Me: “Eh. I’m here, aren’t I?”
Attendant: *beat* “Fair enough.”
florida80
10-17-2019, 22:28
The Uninsured Dead
Insurance, New Zealand, Pets & Animals, Text/Chat/Email, Zombies | Healthy | October 24, 2017
(A few months ago we signed up for pet insurance for all four of our animals. This month, we got caught by surprise by the payment and as a result, one of the payments did not process correctly. This is the email we got regarding the payment that did not process:)
Email: “Please call us on [number] or email us quoting [policy number] in regards to your insurance payment for your pet Zombie.”
(Punctuation is EVERYTHING.)
florida80
10-17-2019, 22:28
Gauze And Effect
Canada, Health & Body, home, Marriage & Partners | Healthy | October 24, 2017
(I have a minor surgery on my foot. By chance, the only gauze the doctor has to wrap it is bright red. I head home after, and my husband is already home. He has some emergency first aid experience.)
Me: “Ugh, it hurts. I guess I should take my sock off, see if that eases some pressure.”
(I take my sock off slowly.)
Me: *fake surprise* “Whoah, that’s red!”
Husband: *stares blankly*
Me: “Aww, you’re no fun. I thought the red gauze would freak you out.”
Husband: “So it’s gauze?”
Me: “Yep. It’s all the doctor had. It startled me so I thought I’d try and get you, too. You’re not as surprised as I thought you’d be.”
Husband: *calmly* “I was screaming internally.”
(He was actually really upset. Whoops!)
florida80
10-17-2019, 22:29
About To Make A (Dis)Appointment
California, Medical Office, Sacramento, Time, USA | Healthy | October 24, 2017
(My multi-specialty medical office has an audiologist who does hearing tests for patients. I assist the ENT [Ear/Nose/Throat] doctors so I handle calls from his patients, since he doesn’t have his own assistant. One of our phone operators calls me at the nurses’ station with an audiology patient on the other line.)
Operator: “Dr. [Audiologist]’s 4:00 says she’s going to be ten minutes late. Is that okay?”
(We allow a 15-minute window to show up for appointments, and a check of the schedule reveals she’s the last patient of the day.)
Me: “Yes, that’s fine, as long as it’s no more than 15 minutes.”
(The operator relays the message and I go about my day. Later, I realize it’s 4:45 and the patient isn’t showing up as checked in on the schedule. I’m about to call up to the front desk to see if they’ve forgotten to check her in when the receptionist calls me.)
Receptionist: “Hi… did you tell Dr. [Audiologist]’s 4:00 that we’d ‘just work her in’ when she got here? Because she just got here.” *I can practically hear the air quotes*
Me: “I most certainly did not. I said no more than 15 minutes late. She needs to reschedule.”
Receptionist: “Yeah… that’s what I thought. Okay. I’m gonna go talk to [Audiologist]. Bet he’ll say the same thing.”
(He did. When the receptionist politely relayed to the patient that he was unable to stay 45 minutes late to accommodate her, she threw a hissy fit and ranted at our poor receptionist for several minutes before storming out in a snit. Her best line, as the receptionist later conveyed, was that she’d told our phone operator she was “on 50” and he should have known how far away she was. Highway 50 runs from West Sacramento to Maryland…)
florida80
10-17-2019, 22:29
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 12
Medical Office, UK | Healthy | October 23, 2017
(This was a few years ago. I have made an appointment with a new GP to give me a contraceptive implant since I keep forgetting to take my pills and I want to be safe. This is my first time at this particular office.)
Doctor: “So I’m just going to numb the area first and then we’ll get the implant in there.”
Me: “Okay.”
(I roll up my sleeve and turn my head away.)
Doctor: “Are you all right?”
Me: “Oh, yeah, I just don’t like watching the needle go in. So I’m gonna look at that wall there.”
Doctor: “All right, then.”
(She then stuck the needle in and lifted the skin of my arm up with the needle as she removed it. When she apologized she attempted to do it again. Both times were quite painful but thankfully the needle didn’t break and the rest of the appointment went fine.)
Doctor: “Again, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened there. Maybe if you didn’t have such tiny arms!”
(Three years later I went to get my implant replaced. This time I got a nurse to do it. She did it completely pain-free on the first try. I guess my tiny arms weren’t a problem for the nurse.)
florida80
10-17-2019, 22:30
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 11
Health & Body, home, Nurse, Religion | Right | November 14, 2016
(I am an RN that goes around to people’s homes. I get an order to obtain a blood draw from a particularly religious patient who refuses to let me try anywhere except the tiny blood vessels in her hand. As I’m on my second attempt, apparently she thinks I need a little help…)
Patient: *loudly, with eyes closed* “Lord Jesus, help her find that blood! Send the blood to her Jesus; she needs your help! Draw her to that vein, oh Lord, and show your power!”
Me: *as I finally hit a vein* “Got it!”
Patient: “Thank you!”
Me: “You’re welcome!”
Patient: “Not you.”
Me: “A little bit me…”
florida80
10-17-2019, 22:30
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 10
Health & Body, Inspirational, Kind Strangers, Popular | Hopeless | June 13, 2016
(It’s my first day commuting to work off campus during summer term and I have a bike to get there. I’m feeling pretty good until three miles in, when it gets harder to keep going. All of a sudden, a van pulls over.)
Stranger: “Get in.”
Me: “I’m going to work and I really don’t—”
Stranger: “I’m a registered nurse and you’re showing signs of heat exhaustion. Get in now.”
(After stammering a bit, I let the RN put my bike in back and get me a water bottle.)
Me: “Thanks! I’m an out-of-state student so I’m not used to this heat.”
Stranger: “I get it. Do you need a ride home?”
(She showed up after my work and drove me home. I never saw her again, but I loved her.)
florida80
10-17-2019, 22:31
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Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 9
Awesome, Health & Body, Inspirational, Kind Strangers, Popular | Healthy | May 17, 2016
(My family is visiting my grandma, and we like renting bicycles to ride around the gated community where she lives. My mom and two younger siblings are just on our way back to the house. It’s a very hot day and I’m wearing a dark shirt.)
Me: “Hold up a minute. I feel woozy.”
(I pull onto the grass and sit down, panting, as my vision swirls with purple-green clouds. Usually they clear in a few moments, but they’re not going away. I can’t get back on the bike until I can see, so Mom is about to send my brother on ahead to bring Dad back with the car, when a car pulls up next to us.)
Little Old Lady: “Do you need help?”
(I’m a little fuzzy on the details after that point, but it turned out that she was a retired nurse! She offered to drive me back to Grandma’s house. I was doing a little better in the air-conditioned car, but I was still woozy and she talked to me to keep me awake. When we got to the house, I had to lean on her shoulder to get inside; my dad told me later that he thought I was helping her at first! She helped me into a reclining chair and got a cool, damp washcloth to put on my forehead before she left, with instructions to drink lots of water and not move for a while. She left before I could thank her, but I sent a thank-you note when I was better. Even after they retire, nurses are awesome people!)
florida80
10-17-2019, 22:32
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 8
Medical Office | Working | March 4, 2016
(During first full week of Advanced Placement and IB tests of my junior year in high school I find myself struck with a particularly nasty illness called norovirus, which causes nearly non-stop vomiting and diarrhea. I am home alone, as my father is out the whole week for business, and I am taking the bus to and from school for exams. Since I knew I cannot miss any of these tests on such short notice, I manage to tough it out for four days, but at that point I have not been able to eat or drink anything that remains in my stomach for more than five minutes. Severely dehydrated and weak, I finally decide to go to a close-by clinic for IV fluids after school. Since they need a doctor on-site to legally be able to give fluids, I call ahead.)
Nurse: “Hello, [Clinic]. This is [Nurse]. How may I help you?”
Me: *very quietly as my throat has started to develop acid sores* “Hi… Do you have the… Do you do IV fluids?”
Nurse: “What’s that, sweetie? I didn’t quite catch that.”
Me: “I need IV fluids… I really need them.”
Nurse: “Unfortunately we don’t have a doctor with us right now, hun.” *I start crying, since at this point I’m worried I will not be able to get out of bed tomorrow for my next exam* “Sweetie, what’s the matter? Are you hurt?”
Me: “No… I think I got norovirus from that restaurant that was shut down last week and I’m home alone and I have my AP tests that I can’t miss and I haven’t been able to eat or drink anything for days and I’m getting too weak to do anything! I can’t go to the ER because my dad didn’t leave me enough money to cover anything and I really need to go to my exam tomorrow!”
Nurse: “All right, sweetie, give me one second.” *the line is silent for about five minutes* “Okay, hun, here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to go out to you and pick you up, then we’re going to go to the [Clinic] downtown and get you your fluids. After that I’ll take you home and you give me your exam schedule. Is tomorrow your last day for exams until next week?”
Me: *shocked at her kindness* “Yes, ma’am.”
Nurse: “All righty. Then I’ll take you to your exam tomorrow morning and then we do need to check you into the hospital, all right, sweetie? Give me your address and I’ll be there in a few minutes. Call your dad and tell him what is going on, okay?”
(This nurse had negotiated with her supervisor to get the next two days off work so she could make sure I was taken care of and safe. After my exam the next day she picked me up and took me to the hospital, used a few personal favors to get me in quickly and hold off on payment, and stayed with me until my father could get there. We have since become good friends, and I am currently working on my own MD while volunteering at her clinic. This woman is why nurses really should rule the world!)
florida80
10-17-2019, 22:33
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 7
Hospital | Working | October 30, 2015
(I am pregnant and suffering from toxaemia, which is a form of blood poisoning. My blood pressure is extremely high and I have been admitted to hospital. I have been there for two weeks when my blood pressure goes even higher.)
Matron: “You have been scheduled for an emergency induction tomorrow morning; we can’t leave you like this for any longer.”
(Very early the next morning, she comes in and starts the preparation for the induction when a doctor comes in.)
Doctor: “[Matron], I need you to stop what you are doing. I need to speak to the patient. Please leave us alone.”
Matron: “Yes, doctor.” *leaves*
Doctor: *to me* “We are postponing your induction.”
Me: “But I’ve been told I have to have it.”
Doctor: “We’ve decided not to do it right now. It doesn’t really matter, seeing as this is elective.” *meaning I chose to have it done*
(He says nothing to reassure me and leaves. Later one of the nurses comes by.)
Nurse: “[My Name], what are you still doing here? I was sure you would have had your baby by now.”
Me: “Dr [Doctor] told me that it wasn’t being done, and told me it was elective.”
Nurse: “He said what? Did you elect to get pre-eclampsia? I’ll go and see what’s going on.”
(A few minutes later she is back.)
Nurse: “I found out why they postponed you. We only have four birthing rooms and there are a dozen screaming women down there waiting to get into them. You were considered stable enough to wait one more day”.
Me: “I would have understood if he said that.”
Nurse: “Yeah, doctors don’t think.”
florida80
10-17-2019, 22:33
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 6
Awesome Workers, Health & Body, Medical Office, Nurse | Working | December 9, 2013
(I’ve been sick this past week and I go to the clinic at nine am. They tell me they will call in the prescription at ten am. At two pm, I go to check the prescription.)
Pharmacist: “I have no prescription here under your name.”
Me: “The clinic said it would be ready by ten am. Let me call them.”
(I call the clinic.)
Me: “Hello. I have a prescription that hasn’t been put through yet. I need to make sure I am at the right pharmacy.”
(I am promptly transferred without a word to the women’s clinic line, which is the incorrect department. I am instructed to leave a message, as the nurses are out to lunch.)
Me: “Um, hi. I am [My Name]. I was just wondering where my prescription was sent. It’s not at the pharmacy and—” *I cough and my head immediately begins to ache terribly. I sniffle and tear up* “—if you could please help me that’d be nice.”
(I hang up and go home. At three pm I go to the clinic to verify the location of the pharmacy. They tell me the order has been sent, and to wait a couple hours. I go home yet again. At five pm I get a call from the women’s clinic number at which I left the message.)
Nurse: “Hello, is this [My Name]? You left a message a couple hours ago.”
Me: “Yes. I’m sorry, I was trying to find out where my prescription was. I already checked back with the clinic and they told me where the prescription would be.”
Nurse: “Everything’s all right, though? This is the wrong department for your call, but since you’ve had the prescription filled…”
Me: “Well… no… I called the pharmacy and the prescription still hasn’t been ordered yet.”
Nurse: “Oh. Let me get on that. I’ll make sure they get it filled out.”
Me: “Okay.”
Nurse: “I will call you back in a minute, sweetie.”
(The nurse hangs up and calls back a few minutes later.)
Nurse: “Okay, I’ve gotten them to fill out your prescription and the pharmacy should have it soon. You are taking [Medicine], which is two pills twice a day. No matter how bad it is, take all of them. You can take decongestants and ibuprofen to deal with the congestion and pain. And, honey, popsicles are your best friends. Drink lots of fluids and warm tea, and get plenty of rest.”
(At this point, the nurse’s concern has caused me to tear up.)
Me: “Thank you so much! I’ve been dealing with this for a week.”
Nurse: “You just sound so sick, sweetie. I called the pharmacy and told them to work extra quick on your order. The pharmacist’s name is [Name]. She’ll have your prescription ready as soon as she can.”
Me: “Thank you.”
Nurse: “You feel better, honey.”
(To that nurse: You had me sobbing. You cared so much and it wasn’t even your department. You helped me and told me more about my medicine than the doctor in the CORRECT department did. I’m so grateful there are people as nice as you working in the women’s clinic!)
florida80
10-17-2019, 22:34
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 5
Bullies, Hospital, Nurse, Parents/Guardians, Wild & Unruly | Right | August 13, 2013
(I’m 18, and have been hospitalized for a severe case of mono. As a result of the illness, my throat is badly swollen and I can hardly speak. I’m on lots of painkillers. I’m sharing a room with a boy who swallowed a rock. The boy has been screaming since his mother left and his father can’t quiet him down.)
Nurse: “Okay, [My Name], I’m just going to check your vitals.”
Me: *whispering* “How much longer until I can have more pain medication?”
Nurse: “Not for a while, sweetie.”
(The nurse leaves. The boy’s father has been watching us the whole time.)
Boy’s Father: “Listen, you little b****! Don’t you f****** gossip about me to the f****** nurses! You keep your f****** mouth shut, or I’ll shut it for you!”
(I’m stunned, as I haven’t said a word to or about him. As I can’t move and can barely speak, I’m in tears and terrified. Not long after, my mom comes in to visit.)
Mom: “Hey, [My Name]. How are you doing?”
Me: *crying and whispering* “Mom, the dad of that boy screamed at me. He said to shut up, or he’d shut me up.”
(My mom is silent, but clearly fuming. She leaves for a moment.)
Boy’s Father: “WHAT DID I SAY?!”
(Just then, my mom comes back with security in tow.)
Mom: “Escort him from hospital grounds NOW.”
Boy’s Father: “B****! You can’t tell me what to do! You aren’t the boss here! I’m twenty-f******-five!”
Mom: “Actually, I AM the boss here! It’s my day off, but I’m head nurse on this floor, and if you EVER speak to my daughter ever again, I will have you arrested so fast that you won’t ever hear the sirens! And by the way, I’m forty-freaking-eight and I have the good sense not to let my kids eat rocks!”
(The man was removed from hospital grounds and was banned from re-entering for 48 hours unless it was an emergency. I have the best mom in the world.)
florida80
10-17-2019, 22:34
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 4
Restaurant | Right | June 14, 2013
(My mother takes my younger brother and me out to a restaurant for dinner. As we are eating we witness a car crash in the road. My mother, being an LPN (licensed practical nurse), leaves her meal to rush across the street to offer help. We are seated by an elderly couple right next to a window.)
Elderly Man: “Did your mom just go out there to help them?”
Me: “Oh, well, she’s a nurse. Pretty much anytime an accident occurs and she’s there, she tries to help.”
Restaurant Proprietor: “That’s your mother out there?”
Little Brother: “Yeah. Our mom’s a nurse, so she went to help out.”
Restaurant Proprietor: “Wow! How cool!”
(My mother spends the next 30 minutes out in the middle of traffic, helping both drivers with their injuries, and waiting until EMTs arrive. She comes back in, and we resume our meal like nothing has happened.)
Elderly Woman: “Are they okay?”
Mom: “Yeah, but the poor girl — her parents are out of town. She has to wait in the hospital for them to come and see her. She pulled out, and that guy pulled out in front of her and rammed her car.”
Elderly Woman: “Well, at least they’re okay.”
(Another 20 minutes pass while my mother finishes her meal and the check is brought out to us. As the proprietor from earlier leaves the check, the couple next to us get up to leave.)
Elderly Man: “Let me tell you something…”
(He quickly snatches the check off of our table.)
Elderly Man: “If I were in an accident like that and needed help, I would want you to come and help me. Anyone who selflessly dodges traffic to help someone like that deserves to have their meal paid for. I hope that if one day I’m in an accident I have you there for me.”
(Despite my mother’s protests, the man pays the bill without even glancing at the total. When we go to the front to explain ourselves, the cashier isn’t surprised.)
Cashier: “Oh, that’s Bill. He’s a regular here. I’m not surprised he did that. He’s a real sweetheart. He was actually on his first date with that girl!”
(If you ever read this, Bill, you moved my mom to tears that day. You have forever made me want to be a better person! It’s people like you that re-instill my hope in humanity.)
florida80
10-17-2019, 22:35
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 3
Fast Food, Jerk | Right | February 26, 2013
(I arrive at work an hour and a half early because I forgot what time I start. I decide to sit in the lobby and have lunch before my shift. I notice that the trash can is in dire need of being emptied and that the front counter is busier than usual. I start to tie the bag up, when a customer screeches at me.)
Customer: “What do you think you’re doing?”
Me: “Just changing the garbage, ma’am. It was full to overflowing and it was too busy for someone to leave their post and do it.”
Customer: “You don’t have to do that, young man! You’re not one of these dropouts that lives in their parent’s basements who can’t do anything better with their lives! What are you taking?”
Me: “I’m planning on becoming an licensed practical nurse. But, ma’am, I don’t just go to school. I work to pay my bills. As a matter of fact, I live in a condo my mother owns. She does not live with me, and I pay rent to her. I pay for my electricity, my Internet, and my heating. How do I earn the money for this, you ask?”
(At this point I remove my hat from my bag, put it on and remove my coat, revealing that I am dressed in my work uniform.)
Me: “I work here, taking whatever hours I can get. A student without anything on their resume will take any job they can. ”
(I point to one of my coworkers who is mopping the floors at the back of the store.)
Me: “She’s a neuroscience student. Just like me she has bills to pay. In the future, please remember that people who work in fast food are not always drop outs, but more often than not students trying to fund their education. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take out this trash, unless you would like me to help extract your foot from your mouth first.”
(Flustered and obviously embarrassed, the customer leaves the store in a hurry. My manager, who is also a classmate of mine, speaks with me once I return from the dumpsters.)
Manager: “Technically, you could be fired for badmouthing a customer while on the job like that.”
Me: “Technically, I’m not working right now! I haven’t clocked in, and my shift’s not for another half hour.”
Manager: “Well then, brave citizen, how does free apple pie sound?”
(I accepted, of course. You just don’t say no to free pie!)
florida80
10-17-2019, 22:35
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 2
Restaurant | Right | February 8, 2013
(I am out to breakfast with some friends from work.)
Me: “Excuse me, do you know if the cook uses milk to make the omelets or just eggs?”
Waitress: “Just eggs. Are you allergic to milk?”
Me: “No, but I am lactose intolerant and I forgot to bring my meds.”
(We all order our food. However, after the waitress leaves, I overhear someone from the table next to us asking for a manager.)
Other Customer: *loudly* “I want to complain about that waitress. I heard her interrogating that poor woman about her personal medical issues! I’m a doctor and I know you can’t just ask people about things like that! It’s against the law! She could sue you!”
Me: *to the other customer* “Excuse me, before things get out of hand here, I’m the person she’s talking about. First of all, our waitress asked if I had an allergy to milk. It was a good question considering I made a point of asking if some of your foods have milk in it. If I was really allergic, the kitchen would have to take extra precautions to avoid anaphylaxis. Secondly, there’s no such law that I know of unless you’re talking about the laws in place to protect your private health information from being accessed by other people without your permission. I don’t see how those would apply in this case.”
Other Customer: “What the h*** are you talking about? What are you, some kind of lawyer, smarta**?”
My Friend: “No, ‘doctor,’ she’s some kind of nurse.”
(We all pulled out our hospital IDs. The “doctor” shut up after that. The manager thanked us for clearing things up and left, and our waitress gave us a free round of cheesecake with a free lactose-free muffin for me!)
florida80
10-17-2019, 22:36
Why Nurses Should Rule The World
Adorable Children, Medical Office, Nurse | Right | October 29, 2012
(My five-year-old son has received a serious injury to his eye. After a pediatrician recommends us to an eye doctor, we are referred to a specialist that works out of a university two hours away from home.)
Nurse: “These are all the contact numbers you should need. I also went online for some directions, and called ahead to let them know it should only be a few hours.”
Son: “I don’t want to.”
Nurse: “What’s the matter?”
Son: *visibly getting upset* “I’m scared.”
Nurse: “But you’ve been so brave this whole time! How about this: if you go see the new doctor, I’ll give you my phone number and you can call me if you get too upset, okay?”
(The nurse writes down her work extension and cell phone number on a piece of paper and adds it to my paperwork, insisting that I feel free to call if I have any problems or questions. My son stays calm all the way to the university and through the appointment with the specialist until we’re told he’s going to need surgery. Crying and upset, he begs me to call the nurse from the clinic.)
Me: *on the phone* “I’m so sorry to bother you, I know you’re still working, but he’s really upset and asked to talk to you.”
(I put the phone on speakerphone so my son, crying on the exam table, can hear.)
Nurse: “Hey, buddy! What’s wrong?”
Son: *crying* “The doctor here wants to give me surgery!”
Nurse: “There’s nothing wrong with that. It’ll make your eye all better. You’ll be able to see again, like we talked about.”
Son: “But I’m scared! It’s going to hurt!”
Nurse: “Of course it’s not going to hurt. That nice doctor wouldn’t hurt you!”
Son: “Have you been given surgeries?”
Nurse: “Yeah, kiddo, a few.”
Son: “And you came back to life?”
Nurse: “Every single time.”
Son: “Promise?”
Nurse: “Swear.”
(My son has calmed down considerably throughout the conversation, and there’s not a dry eye in the room.)
Son: “Okay…”
Nurse: “See? I knew you were brave.”
Son: “Thank you! Love you!”
Nurse: *laughing* “Love you, too.”
(I thanked the nurse a thousand times, and she insisted I call her ASAP to let her know how the surgery went. Later that day, she texted us a picture of herself and her family with a ‘GET WELL SOON’ sign they made for my son!)
florida80
10-17-2019, 22:37
Making Some Piercing Assumptions
Health & Body, Medical Office, Parents/Guardians, USA | Healthy | October 23, 2017
(My mother and I are out for lunch on my twentieth birthday. I’ve been wanting to get my navel pierced for a while, so when we pass a tattoo and piercing parlor I go in to check it out. It’s very clean and on the up and up, so Mom offers to pay for the piercing right then and there, and we get it done. Around this same time, I have to go in for an MRI on my right knee to see why it’s hurting so much lately. Mom and I are currently attending the same college, so I’m living at home to save money. Mom drives me to the appointment. She brings her homework and spreads it out all over the table and the surrounding seats, as there are a lot of seats and almost no people.)
Doctor: “[My Last Name]?”
Me: *jumping up* “Right here!”
(Mom begins to pack up her schoolwork.)
Me: *quickly* “Oh, no, that’s fine; you don’t need to come back! Just keep working on your project.”
Mom: *laughs* “I keep forgetting you’re an adult now.”
(I go back with the doctor and, all of a sudden, remember that I’m now pierced.)
Me: “Oh. Oh, jeeze.”
Doctor: “What?”
Me: “Well… see, I know the rules about MRIs and metal, but I just realized that I have a fresh piercing that I can’t take out yet… uh… this is going to be a problem, isn’t it?”
Doctor: “Not if we only scan your knee. May I see it?”
(I lift up my shirt to show him my piercing.)
Doctor: “Are you cleaning it?”
Me: “Twice a day with soap, water, and hydrogen peroxide.”
Doctor: *starts going through his desk* “We get a lot of kids with piercings that they don’t take care of and it can get real ugly, you know.”
Me: “Oh, I know. I got my ears done when I was six. And eight.”
(The doctor gives me a handful of individually wrapped sanitary wipes.)
Doctor: “Here, you can use these to keep the area clean.” *pause* “So, does your mother know about the piercing?”
Me: “What? Oh! Yes; yes, she does. She’s the one who got it for me. I only told her to stay because I didn’t want her to have to pack everything up, that’s all.”
(The doctor looks suspicious.)
Me: “Honest!”
(I change into the hospital gown and the procedure goes well. I get a little more lecturing about how to clean a piercing, and to always make sure to go to a reputable place that uses sterile equipment, before the doctor leads me out. When we’re both in the waiting room, I turn to Mom.)
Me: “Hey, Mom, tell the doctor who bought my navel piercing.”
Mom: “Um… I did?”
(The doctor laughed. Then believed me, and sent me home to await the results.)
florida80
10-18-2019, 22:27
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 12
Medical Office, UK | Healthy | October 23, 2017
(This was a few years ago. I have made an appointment with a new GP to give me a contraceptive implant since I keep forgetting to take my pills and I want to be safe. This is my first time at this particular office.)
Doctor: “So I’m just going to numb the area first and then we’ll get the implant in there.”
Me: “Okay.”
(I roll up my sleeve and turn my head away.)
Doctor: “Are you all right?”
Me: “Oh, yeah, I just don’t like watching the needle go in. So I’m gonna look at that wall there.”
Doctor: “All right, then.”
(She then stuck the needle in and lifted the skin of my arm up with the needle as she removed it. When she apologized she attempted to do it again. Both times were quite painful but thankfully the needle didn’t break and the rest of the appointment went fine.)
Doctor: “Again, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened there. Maybe if you didn’t have such tiny arms!”
(Three years later I went to get my implant replaced. This time I got a nurse to do it. She did it completely pain-free on the first try. I guess my tiny arms weren’t a problem for the nurse.)
florida80
10-18-2019, 22:27
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 11
Health & Body, home, Nurse, Religion | Right | November 14, 2016
(I am an RN that goes around to people’s homes. I get an order to obtain a blood draw from a particularly religious patient who refuses to let me try anywhere except the tiny blood vessels in her hand. As I’m on my second attempt, apparently she thinks I need a little help…)
Patient: *loudly, with eyes closed* “Lord Jesus, help her find that blood! Send the blood to her Jesus; she needs your help! Draw her to that vein, oh Lord, and show your power!”
Me: *as I finally hit a vein* “Got it!”
Patient: “Thank you!”
Me: “You’re welcome!”
Patient: “Not you.”
Me: “A little bit me…”
florida80
10-18-2019, 22:28
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 10
Health & Body, Inspirational, Kind Strangers, Popular | Hopeless | June 13, 2016
(It’s my first day commuting to work off campus during summer term and I have a bike to get there. I’m feeling pretty good until three miles in, when it gets harder to keep going. All of a sudden, a van pulls over.)
Stranger: “Get in.”
Me: “I’m going to work and I really don’t—”
Stranger: “I’m a registered nurse and you’re showing signs of heat exhaustion. Get in now.”
(After stammering a bit, I let the RN put my bike in back and get me a water bottle.)
Me: “Thanks! I’m an out-of-state student so I’m not used to this heat.”
Stranger: “I get it. Do you need a ride home?”
(She showed up after my work and drove me home. I never saw her again, but I loved her.)
florida80
10-18-2019, 22:29
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 9
Awesome, Health & Body, Inspirational, Kind Strangers, Popular | Healthy | May 17, 2016
(My family is visiting my grandma, and we like renting bicycles to ride around the gated community where she lives. My mom and two younger siblings are just on our way back to the house. It’s a very hot day and I’m wearing a dark shirt.)
Me: “Hold up a minute. I feel woozy.”
(I pull onto the grass and sit down, panting, as my vision swirls with purple-green clouds. Usually they clear in a few moments, but they’re not going away. I can’t get back on the bike until I can see, so Mom is about to send my brother on ahead to bring Dad back with the car, when a car pulls up next to us.)
Little Old Lady: “Do you need help?”
(I’m a little fuzzy on the details after that point, but it turned out that she was a retired nurse! She offered to drive me back to Grandma’s house. I was doing a little better in the air-conditioned car, but I was still woozy and she talked to me to keep me awake. When we got to the house, I had to lean on her shoulder to get inside; my dad told me later that he thought I was helping her at first! She helped me into a reclining chair and got a cool, damp washcloth to put on my forehead before she left, with instructions to drink lots of water and not move for a while. She left before I could thank her, but I sent a thank-you note when I was better. Even after they retire, nurses are awesome people!)
florida80
10-18-2019, 22:29
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 8
Medical Office | Working | March 4, 2016
(During first full week of Advanced Placement and IB tests of my junior year in high school I find myself struck with a particularly nasty illness called norovirus, which causes nearly non-stop vomiting and diarrhea. I am home alone, as my father is out the whole week for business, and I am taking the bus to and from school for exams. Since I knew I cannot miss any of these tests on such short notice, I manage to tough it out for four days, but at that point I have not been able to eat or drink anything that remains in my stomach for more than five minutes. Severely dehydrated and weak, I finally decide to go to a close-by clinic for IV fluids after school. Since they need a doctor on-site to legally be able to give fluids, I call ahead.)
Nurse: “Hello, [Clinic]. This is [Nurse]. How may I help you?”
Me: *very quietly as my throat has started to develop acid sores* “Hi… Do you have the… Do you do IV fluids?”
Nurse: “What’s that, sweetie? I didn’t quite catch that.”
Me: “I need IV fluids… I really need them.”
Nurse: “Unfortunately we don’t have a doctor with us right now, hun.” *I start crying, since at this point I’m worried I will not be able to get out of bed tomorrow for my next exam* “Sweetie, what’s the matter? Are you hurt?”
Me: “No… I think I got norovirus from that restaurant that was shut down last week and I’m home alone and I have my AP tests that I can’t miss and I haven’t been able to eat or drink anything for days and I’m getting too weak to do anything! I can’t go to the ER because my dad didn’t leave me enough money to cover anything and I really need to go to my exam tomorrow!”
Nurse: “All right, sweetie, give me one second.” *the line is silent for about five minutes* “Okay, hun, here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to go out to you and pick you up, then we’re going to go to the [Clinic] downtown and get you your fluids. After that I’ll take you home and you give me your exam schedule. Is tomorrow your last day for exams until next week?”
Me: *shocked at her kindness* “Yes, ma’am.”
Nurse: “All righty. Then I’ll take you to your exam tomorrow morning and then we do need to check you into the hospital, all right, sweetie? Give me your address and I’ll be there in a few minutes. Call your dad and tell him what is going on, okay?”
(This nurse had negotiated with her supervisor to get the next two days off work so she could make sure I was taken care of and safe. After my exam the next day she picked me up and took me to the hospital, used a few personal favors to get me in quickly and hold off on payment, and stayed with me until my father could get there. We have since become good friends, and I am currently working on my own MD while volunteering at her clinic. This woman is why nurses really should rule the world!)
florida80
10-18-2019, 22:30
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 7
Hospital | Working | October 30, 2015
(I am pregnant and suffering from toxaemia, which is a form of blood poisoning. My blood pressure is extremely high and I have been admitted to hospital. I have been there for two weeks when my blood pressure goes even higher.)
Matron: “You have been scheduled for an emergency induction tomorrow morning; we can’t leave you like this for any longer.”
(Very early the next morning, she comes in and starts the preparation for the induction when a doctor comes in.)
Doctor: “[Matron], I need you to stop what you are doing. I need to speak to the patient. Please leave us alone.”
Matron: “Yes, doctor.” *leaves*
Doctor: *to me* “We are postponing your induction.”
Me: “But I’ve been told I have to have it.”
Doctor: “We’ve decided not to do it right now. It doesn’t really matter, seeing as this is elective.” *meaning I chose to have it done*
(He says nothing to reassure me and leaves. Later one of the nurses comes by.)
Nurse: “[My Name], what are you still doing here? I was sure you would have had your baby by now.”
Me: “Dr [Doctor] told me that it wasn’t being done, and told me it was elective.”
Nurse: “He said what? Did you elect to get pre-eclampsia? I’ll go and see what’s going on.”
(A few minutes later she is back.)
Nurse: “I found out why they postponed you. We only have four birthing rooms and there are a dozen screaming women down there waiting to get into them. You were considered stable enough to wait one more day”.
Me: “I would have understood if he said that.”
Nurse: “Yeah, doctors don’t think.”
florida80
10-18-2019, 22:30
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 6
Awesome Workers, Health & Body, Medical Office, Nurse | Working | December 9, 2013
(I’ve been sick this past week and I go to the clinic at nine am. They tell me they will call in the prescription at ten am. At two pm, I go to check the prescription.)
Pharmacist: “I have no prescription here under your name.”
Me: “The clinic said it would be ready by ten am. Let me call them.”
(I call the clinic.)
Me: “Hello. I have a prescription that hasn’t been put through yet. I need to make sure I am at the right pharmacy.”
(I am promptly transferred without a word to the women’s clinic line, which is the incorrect department. I am instructed to leave a message, as the nurses are out to lunch.)
Me: “Um, hi. I am [My Name]. I was just wondering where my prescription was sent. It’s not at the pharmacy and—” *I cough and my head immediately begins to ache terribly. I sniffle and tear up* “—if you could please help me that’d be nice.”
(I hang up and go home. At three pm I go to the clinic to verify the location of the pharmacy. They tell me the order has been sent, and to wait a couple hours. I go home yet again. At five pm I get a call from the women’s clinic number at which I left the message.)
Nurse: “Hello, is this [My Name]? You left a message a couple hours ago.”
Me: “Yes. I’m sorry, I was trying to find out where my prescription was. I already checked back with the clinic and they told me where the prescription would be.”
Nurse: “Everything’s all right, though? This is the wrong department for your call, but since you’ve had the prescription filled…”
Me: “Well… no… I called the pharmacy and the prescription still hasn’t been ordered yet.”
Nurse: “Oh. Let me get on that. I’ll make sure they get it filled out.”
Me: “Okay.”
Nurse: “I will call you back in a minute, sweetie.”
(The nurse hangs up and calls back a few minutes later.)
Nurse: “Okay, I’ve gotten them to fill out your prescription and the pharmacy should have it soon. You are taking [Medicine], which is two pills twice a day. No matter how bad it is, take all of them. You can take decongestants and ibuprofen to deal with the congestion and pain. And, honey, popsicles are your best friends. Drink lots of fluids and warm tea, and get plenty of rest.”
(At this point, the nurse’s concern has caused me to tear up.)
Me: “Thank you so much! I’ve been dealing with this for a week.”
Nurse: “You just sound so sick, sweetie. I called the pharmacy and told them to work extra quick on your order. The pharmacist’s name is [Name]. She’ll have your prescription ready as soon as she can.”
Me: “Thank you.”
Nurse: “You feel better, honey.”
(To that nurse: You had me sobbing. You cared so much and it wasn’t even your department. You helped me and told me more about my medicine than the doctor in the CORRECT department did. I’m so grateful there are people as nice as you working in the women’s clinic!)
florida80
10-18-2019, 22:31
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 5
Bullies, Hospital, Nurse, Parents/Guardians, Wild & Unruly | Right | August 13, 2013
(I’m 18, and have been hospitalized for a severe case of mono. As a result of the illness, my throat is badly swollen and I can hardly speak. I’m on lots of painkillers. I’m sharing a room with a boy who swallowed a rock. The boy has been screaming since his mother left and his father can’t quiet him down.)
Nurse: “Okay, [My Name], I’m just going to check your vitals.”
Me: *whispering* “How much longer until I can have more pain medication?”
Nurse: “Not for a while, sweetie.”
(The nurse leaves. The boy’s father has been watching us the whole time.)
Boy’s Father: “Listen, you little b****! Don’t you f****** gossip about me to the f****** nurses! You keep your f****** mouth shut, or I’ll shut it for you!”
(I’m stunned, as I haven’t said a word to or about him. As I can’t move and can barely speak, I’m in tears and terrified. Not long after, my mom comes in to visit.)
Mom: “Hey, [My Name]. How are you doing?”
Me: *crying and whispering* “Mom, the dad of that boy screamed at me. He said to shut up, or he’d shut me up.”
(My mom is silent, but clearly fuming. She leaves for a moment.)
Boy’s Father: “WHAT DID I SAY?!”
(Just then, my mom comes back with security in tow.)
Mom: “Escort him from hospital grounds NOW.”
Boy’s Father: “B****! You can’t tell me what to do! You aren’t the boss here! I’m twenty-f******-five!”
Mom: “Actually, I AM the boss here! It’s my day off, but I’m head nurse on this floor, and if you EVER speak to my daughter ever again, I will have you arrested so fast that you won’t ever hear the sirens! And by the way, I’m forty-freaking-eight and I have the good sense not to let my kids eat rocks!”
(The man was removed from hospital grounds and was banned from re-entering for 48 hours unless it was an emergency. I have the best mom in the world
florida80
10-18-2019, 22:31
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 4
Restaurant | Right | June 14, 2013
(My mother takes my younger brother and me out to a restaurant for dinner. As we are eating we witness a car crash in the road. My mother, being an LPN (licensed practical nurse), leaves her meal to rush across the street to offer help. We are seated by an elderly couple right next to a window.)
Elderly Man: “Did your mom just go out there to help them?”
Me: “Oh, well, she’s a nurse. Pretty much anytime an accident occurs and she’s there, she tries to help.”
Restaurant Proprietor: “That’s your mother out there?”
Little Brother: “Yeah. Our mom’s a nurse, so she went to help out.”
Restaurant Proprietor: “Wow! How cool!”
(My mother spends the next 30 minutes out in the middle of traffic, helping both drivers with their injuries, and waiting until EMTs arrive. She comes back in, and we resume our meal like nothing has happened.)
Elderly Woman: “Are they okay?”
Mom: “Yeah, but the poor girl — her parents are out of town. She has to wait in the hospital for them to come and see her. She pulled out, and that guy pulled out in front of her and rammed her car.”
Elderly Woman: “Well, at least they’re okay.”
(Another 20 minutes pass while my mother finishes her meal and the check is brought out to us. As the proprietor from earlier leaves the check, the couple next to us get up to leave.)
Elderly Man: “Let me tell you something…”
(He quickly snatches the check off of our table.)
Elderly Man: “If I were in an accident like that and needed help, I would want you to come and help me. Anyone who selflessly dodges traffic to help someone like that deserves to have their meal paid for. I hope that if one day I’m in an accident I have you there for me.”
(Despite my mother’s protests, the man pays the bill without even glancing at the total. When we go to the front to explain ourselves, the cashier isn’t surprised.)
Cashier: “Oh, that’s Bill. He’s a regular here. I’m not surprised he did that. He’s a real sweetheart. He was actually on his first date with that girl!”
(If you ever read this, Bill, you moved my mom to tears that day. You have forever made me want to be a better person! It’s people like you that re-instill my hope in humanity.)
florida80
10-18-2019, 22:32
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 3
Fast Food, Jerk | Right | February 26, 2013
(I arrive at work an hour and a half early because I forgot what time I start. I decide to sit in the lobby and have lunch before my shift. I notice that the trash can is in dire need of being emptied and that the front counter is busier than usual. I start to tie the bag up, when a customer screeches at me.)
Customer: “What do you think you’re doing?”
Me: “Just changing the garbage, ma’am. It was full to overflowing and it was too busy for someone to leave their post and do it.”
Customer: “You don’t have to do that, young man! You’re not one of these dropouts that lives in their parent’s basements who can’t do anything better with their lives! What are you taking?”
Me: “I’m planning on becoming an licensed practical nurse. But, ma’am, I don’t just go to school. I work to pay my bills. As a matter of fact, I live in a condo my mother owns. She does not live with me, and I pay rent to her. I pay for my electricity, my Internet, and my heating. How do I earn the money for this, you ask?”
(At this point I remove my hat from my bag, put it on and remove my coat, revealing that I am dressed in my work uniform.)
Me: “I work here, taking whatever hours I can get. A student without anything on their resume will take any job they can. ”
(I point to one of my coworkers who is mopping the floors at the back of the store.)
Me: “She’s a neuroscience student. Just like me she has bills to pay. In the future, please remember that people who work in fast food are not always drop outs, but more often than not students trying to fund their education. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take out this trash, unless you would like me to help extract your foot from your mouth first.”
(Flustered and obviously embarrassed, the customer leaves the store in a hurry. My manager, who is also a classmate of mine, speaks with me once I return from the dumpsters.)
Manager: “Technically, you could be fired for badmouthing a customer while on the job like that.”
Me: “Technically, I’m not working right now! I haven’t clocked in, and my shift’s not for another half hour.”
Manager: “Well then, brave citizen, how does free apple pie sound?”
(I accepted, of course. You just don’t say no to free pie!)
florida80
10-18-2019, 22:32
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 2
Restaurant | Right | February 8, 2013
(I am out to breakfast with some friends from work.)
Me: “Excuse me, do you know if the cook uses milk to make the omelets or just eggs?”
Waitress: “Just eggs. Are you allergic to milk?”
Me: “No, but I am lactose intolerant and I forgot to bring my meds.”
(We all order our food. However, after the waitress leaves, I overhear someone from the table next to us asking for a manager.)
Other Customer: *loudly* “I want to complain about that waitress. I heard her interrogating that poor woman about her personal medical issues! I’m a doctor and I know you can’t just ask people about things like that! It’s against the law! She could sue you!”
Me: *to the other customer* “Excuse me, before things get out of hand here, I’m the person she’s talking about. First of all, our waitress asked if I had an allergy to milk. It was a good question considering I made a point of asking if some of your foods have milk in it. If I was really allergic, the kitchen would have to take extra precautions to avoid anaphylaxis. Secondly, there’s no such law that I know of unless you’re talking about the laws in place to protect your private health information from being accessed by other people without your permission. I don’t see how those would apply in this case.”
Other Customer: “What the h*** are you talking about? What are you, some kind of lawyer, smarta**?”
My Friend: “No, ‘doctor,’ she’s some kind of nurse.”
(We all pulled out our hospital IDs. The “doctor” shut up after that. The manager thanked us for clearing things up and left, and our waitress gave us a free round of cheesecake with a free lactose-free muffin for me!)
florida80
10-18-2019, 22:33
Why Nurses Should Rule The World
Adorable Children, Medical Office, Nurse | Right | October 29, 2012
(My five-year-old son has received a serious injury to his eye. After a pediatrician recommends us to an eye doctor, we are referred to a specialist that works out of a university two hours away from home.)
Nurse: “These are all the contact numbers you should need. I also went online for some directions, and called ahead to let them know it should only be a few hours.”
Son: “I don’t want to.”
Nurse: “What’s the matter?”
Son: *visibly getting upset* “I’m scared.”
Nurse: “But you’ve been so brave this whole time! How about this: if you go see the new doctor, I’ll give you my phone number and you can call me if you get too upset, okay?”
(The nurse writes down her work extension and cell phone number on a piece of paper and adds it to my paperwork, insisting that I feel free to call if I have any problems or questions. My son stays calm all the way to the university and through the appointment with the specialist until we’re told he’s going to need surgery. Crying and upset, he begs me to call the nurse from the clinic.)
Me: *on the phone* “I’m so sorry to bother you, I know you’re still working, but he’s really upset and asked to talk to you.”
(I put the phone on speakerphone so my son, crying on the exam table, can hear.)
Nurse: “Hey, buddy! What’s wrong?”
Son: *crying* “The doctor here wants to give me surgery!”
Nurse: “There’s nothing wrong with that. It’ll make your eye all better. You’ll be able to see again, like we talked about.”
Son: “But I’m scared! It’s going to hurt!”
Nurse: “Of course it’s not going to hurt. That nice doctor wouldn’t hurt you!”
Son: “Have you been given surgeries?”
Nurse: “Yeah, kiddo, a few.”
Son: “And you came back to life?”
Nurse: “Every single time.”
Son: “Promise?”
Nurse: “Swear.”
(My son has calmed down considerably throughout the conversation, and there’s not a dry eye in the room.)
Son: “Okay…”
Nurse: “See? I knew you were brave.”
Son: “Thank you! Love you!”
Nurse: *laughing* “Love you, too.”
(I thanked the nurse a thousand times, and she insisted I call her ASAP to let her know how the surgery went. Later that day, she texted us a picture of herself and her family with a ‘GET WELL SOON’ sign they made for my son!)
florida80
10-18-2019, 22:34
Making Some Piercing Assumptions
Health & Body, Medical Office, Parents/Guardians, USA | Healthy | October 23, 2017
(My mother and I are out for lunch on my twentieth birthday. I’ve been wanting to get my navel pierced for a while, so when we pass a tattoo and piercing parlor I go in to check it out. It’s very clean and on the up and up, so Mom offers to pay for the piercing right then and there, and we get it done. Around this same time, I have to go in for an MRI on my right knee to see why it’s hurting so much lately. Mom and I are currently attending the same college, so I’m living at home to save money. Mom drives me to the appointment. She brings her homework and spreads it out all over the table and the surrounding seats, as there are a lot of seats and almost no people.)
Doctor: “[My Last Name]?”
Me: *jumping up* “Right here!”
(Mom begins to pack up her schoolwork.)
Me: *quickly* “Oh, no, that’s fine; you don’t need to come back! Just keep working on your project.”
Mom: *laughs* “I keep forgetting you’re an adult now.”
(I go back with the doctor and, all of a sudden, remember that I’m now pierced.)
Me: “Oh. Oh, jeeze.”
Doctor: “What?”
Me: “Well… see, I know the rules about MRIs and metal, but I just realized that I have a fresh piercing that I can’t take out yet… uh… this is going to be a problem, isn’t it?”
Doctor: “Not if we only scan your knee. May I see it?”
(I lift up my shirt to show him my piercing.)
Doctor: “Are you cleaning it?”
Me: “Twice a day with soap, water, and hydrogen peroxide.”
Doctor: *starts going through his desk* “We get a lot of kids with piercings that they don’t take care of and it can get real ugly, you know.”
Me: “Oh, I know. I got my ears done when I was six. And eight.”
(The doctor gives me a handful of individually wrapped sanitary wipes.)
Doctor: “Here, you can use these to keep the area clean.” *pause* “So, does your mother know about the piercing?”
Me: “What? Oh! Yes; yes, she does. She’s the one who got it for me. I only told her to stay because I didn’t want her to have to pack everything up, that’s all.”
(The doctor looks suspicious.)
Me: “Honest!”
(I change into the hospital gown and the procedure goes well. I get a little more lecturing about how to clean a piercing, and to always make sure to go to a reputable place that uses sterile equipment, before the doctor leads me out. When we’re both in the waiting room, I turn to Mom.)
Me: “Hey, Mom, tell the doctor who bought my navel piercing.”
Mom: “Um… I did?”
(The doctor laughed. Then believed me, and sent me home to await the results.)
florida80
10-18-2019, 22:35
Allergic To Your Attitude
England, Medical Office, Teenagers, UK | Healthy | October 23, 2017
(I have an itchy, raised lump on my leg, surrounded by a rash that is not getting better, so I go to see my doctor. I am 22.)
Doctor: “It looks to me like an allergy. I’ll give you these [Allergy Tablets] and if it is not better in a few days, come back.”
Me: “Don’t those tablets contain cetirizine dihydrochloride? I’m allergic to it.”
Doctor: “Don’t be ridiculous! Cetirizine dihydrochloride STOPS allergies. It’s impossible to be allergic to it!”
Me: “I was diagnosed by the allergy clinic at [Hospital]. It should be on my file? I know it sounds counter intuitive but I was tested for every ingredient in the tablets and that is the only one that came back positive. I can’t take it.”
Doctor: “You CANNOT be allergic to it. That isn’t physically possible.”
Me: “I took a hay fever tablet with cetirizine dihydrochloride in it and had a rash on my face and my neck. I was referred to the allergy clinic and they said that’s what caused it.”
Doctor: “I know you’re just trying to be special, but fine, I’ll look.”
(The doctor looks at my file and finds the letter saying I’m allergic to cetirizine dihydrochloride. He then prints and signs the prescription and gives it to me.)
Doctor: *leans right in to my face* “Just take the tablets and stop making such a fuss! You little girls, you stupid BABIES, and your little made up illnesses. Teenagers! Can’t do anything, the idiots. Get a grip and take the tablets. It is impossible to be allergic to the medication that stops allergies. Grow up and stop wasting my time!”
(I took the prescription as proof and reported what happened to the receptionist, who was very angry at the doctor. The doctor was reported to the GMC (General Medical Council). Another doctor treated my itchy leg without giving me cetirizine dihydrochloride. I was eventually diagnosed with a bee-sting allergy.)
florida80
10-18-2019, 22:35
The Puppy Is Cat-ching On
home, Illinois, Inspirational, Pets & Animals, USA | Healthy Related | September 18, 2017
One of my friends works for the local vet’s office. It’s a small town with no animal shelter, so if strays are found, the vet will usually take them for a few days until they can find the owner, or place them in a home. My friend knew we’d lost our dog a few months before, and called me up one day to say that they’d just been brought a litter of stray puppies that they needed to find homes for, and if my family wanted one, she’d bring one over that night.
My family talked it over, and even though we weren’t really ready to move on from our other dog’s death, we knew the vet’s office would have trouble finding homes for a full litter of puppies and didn’t have the room to take care of them, and decided it was better for us to take one. So, that night, my friend brought over a tiny golden retriever puppy.
She’d warned us that the puppies they’d found were too young to be away from the mother, which is part of why they were so worried about being able to find good homes for them, but we hadn’t realized just how young they were until she showed up. We fed and cleaned the puppy and made a bed for her where she’d be warm, but the poor thing was clearly stressed out, and started crying as soon as we walked away. We were worried that we’d have to stay up with her all night, when our rather elderly male cats, who’d been very curious about the new arrival, decided to step in.
After sniffing her and touching noses, both of our cats decided that this tiny little thing was probably some kind of strange kitten, and it was their job to take care of her. They curled up on either side of her and started grooming her, and the puppy immediately stopped crying, and snuggled in. My dad had set an alarm to remind him to get up and feed her, but shortly before the alarm went off, one of the cats came and woke him up. For the week or so after that, the cats continued to let us know when the puppy needed to be fed or taken outside, until she was old enough to eat solid food and let us know herself.
As the puppy grew up, the cats continued to take care of her. They taught her how to go up and down stairs, how to find the best spots to nap in the sun, that she should stay away from the road, to come when the humans called her, how to groom herself, and where the treats were kept. The puppy never did get the hang of climbing trees, but she’s surprisingly adept at stalking mice and chipmunks!
The cats were a bonded pair, and they died within a few months of each other when the puppy was three. A few years later, she found our kitten, and happily carried on what her foster parents had started, cuddling and comforting the new arrival and teaching her all the important things. So, our dog thinks she’s a cat. Our cat thinks she’s a dog. Our animals may be a little confused, but they all get along beautifully, and no one seems to mind when the new kitten plays fetch!
florida80
10-18-2019, 22:36
That Is ‘Pretty’ Awesome
Adorable Children, Australia, Awesome Workers, Health & Body, Inspirational, Melbourne, Photography Studio, Victoria | Healthy Related Right | August 15, 2017
(I am a photographer running a studio in the inner city. We are well known for our children’s portraits, and we range from high-end portraits for modelling jobs to fun sibling photos and birth announcements. We do a bit of everything; as such, we are extremely busy, and it states on our website that we do not accept walk-ins. We are usually booked up six months in advance. One day, ten minutes before closing, a mum walks in with a young girl around six or seven behind her. I internally groan.)
Mother: “Hello. I know you’re closing soon, but I have a special favour to ask.”
(At this point the little girl peeks around her mother’s legs and I’m lost for words. Under her thick winter coat and hat, she is skeletally thin with huge dark circles under her eyes. From what I can tell, she has no hair, and a tube taped to her cheek that feeds into her nose. It is immediately clear this kid is very, very sick.)
Mother: *near tears* “My daughter saw one of your photos taped to the wall at the hospital. She REALLY loves unicorns and the photo had a girl photo-shopped onto a horse. I know you’re booked up, and it’s months before the next appointment, but…”
(At this point she actually starts crying. I realise that our next available appointment is probably way too far away for this particular kid. The little girl squeezes her mother’s hand. I am a very big dude, covered in tattoos and a beard, but I’m not ashamed to say I needed a minute before I spoke.)
Me: “Aww, that’s just for regular customers! I’ve been waiting all day to take a photo of someone as beautiful as you! What’s your name, sweetheart?”
(I lock the front door and spend the next three hours taking photos of this kid in every princess costume I have in my closet. She is the sweetest, most well-behaved kid I have ever worked with. Once we’re done she curls up on the couch in my office and falls asleep while I load up the photos for her mum to see and choose the ones she likes best, and ask her what kind of retouching she’d like done. She’s adamant that I leave her daughter as is — apparently the little girl has been worried for the past month that she is no longer “pretty.”)
Me: “All right, so we’ve settled on these. I can have them edited and all finished in two days. If you give me your email I can send you the link to the website and the password to download them when they’re ready.”
(The mother thanks me over and over and comes up front, carrying her sleeping daughter, and holds out her credit card.)
Me: “Nope. No way.”
Mother: “Please, I insist. You stayed open so late and your shoots are listed for [amount] online. Please at least charge me that.
Me: “Absolutely not. I am not taking money for this. No way in h***.”
(A few days later I send the link through and hear nothing. I see she’s downloaded the photos and I think nothing of it, hoping my sweet little friend loved her photos. Almost six months later I’m once again closing up when a very familiar face pops up at my window, grinning and waving frantically.)
Me: *throwing open the door* “Hey, you!”
Little Girl: “Hi! I’m better! Look, I’m better!”
(Sure enough, she’d put on some weight, was flushed and pink, and had a fine fuzz of hair over her head. Her mother was a few steps behind her, grinning. She once again tried to force an envelope full of money into my hand, and again I refused. She got frustrated and eventually in her exasperation said, “at least let us take you to dinner!” which I happily accepted. Seven years later that photo of a sick little girl astride a giant pink unicorn is in a frame in my lounge room. My now-step-daughter groans every time I point it out to the friends she brings home!)
florida80
10-19-2019, 20:28
That Is ‘Pretty’ Awesome
Adorable Children, Australia, Awesome Workers, Health & Body, Inspirational, Melbourne, Photography Studio, Victoria | Healthy Related Right | August 15, 2017
(I am a photographer running a studio in the inner city. We are well known for our children’s portraits, and we range from high-end portraits for modelling jobs to fun sibling photos and birth announcements. We do a bit of everything; as such, we are extremely busy, and it states on our website that we do not accept walk-ins. We are usually booked up six months in advance. One day, ten minutes before closing, a mum walks in with a young girl around six or seven behind her. I internally groan.)
Mother: “Hello. I know you’re closing soon, but I have a special favour to ask.”
(At this point the little girl peeks around her mother’s legs and I’m lost for words. Under her thick winter coat and hat, she is skeletally thin with huge dark circles under her eyes. From what I can tell, she has no hair, and a tube taped to her cheek that feeds into her nose. It is immediately clear this kid is very, very sick.)
Mother: *near tears* “My daughter saw one of your photos taped to the wall at the hospital. She REALLY loves unicorns and the photo had a girl photo-shopped onto a horse. I know you’re booked up, and it’s months before the next appointment, but…”
(At this point she actually starts crying. I realise that our next available appointment is probably way too far away for this particular kid. The little girl squeezes her mother’s hand. I am a very big dude, covered in tattoos and a beard, but I’m not ashamed to say I needed a minute before I spoke.)
Me: “Aww, that’s just for regular customers! I’ve been waiting all day to take a photo of someone as beautiful as you! What’s your name, sweetheart?”
(I lock the front door and spend the next three hours taking photos of this kid in every princess costume I have in my closet. She is the sweetest, most well-behaved kid I have ever worked with. Once we’re done she curls up on the couch in my office and falls asleep while I load up the photos for her mum to see and choose the ones she likes best, and ask her what kind of retouching she’d like done. She’s adamant that I leave her daughter as is — apparently the little girl has been worried for the past month that she is no longer “pretty.”)
Me: “All right, so we’ve settled on these. I can have them edited and all finished in two days. If you give me your email I can send you the link to the website and the password to download them when they’re ready.”
(The mother thanks me over and over and comes up front, carrying her sleeping daughter, and holds out her credit card.)
Me: “Nope. No way.”
Mother: “Please, I insist. You stayed open so late and your shoots are listed for [amount] online. Please at least charge me that.
Me: “Absolutely not. I am not taking money for this. No way in h***.”
(A few days later I send the link through and hear nothing. I see she’s downloaded the photos and I think nothing of it, hoping my sweet little friend loved her photos. Almost six months later I’m once again closing up when a very familiar face pops up at my window, grinning and waving frantically.)
Me: *throwing open the door* “Hey, you!”
Little Girl: “Hi! I’m better! Look, I’m better!”
(Sure enough, she’d put on some weight, was flushed and pink, and had a fine fuzz of hair over her head. Her mother was a few steps behind her, grinning. She once again tried to force an envelope full of money into my hand, and again I refused. She got frustrated and eventually in her exasperation said, “at least let us take you to dinner!” which I happily accepted. Seven years later that photo of a sick little girl astride a giant pink unicorn is in a frame in my lounge room. My now-step-daughter groans every time I point it out to the friends she brings home!)
florida80
10-19-2019, 20:28
Getting Hysterectical
Bad Behavior, Canada, Employees, Health & Body, Hospital | Healthy | June 25, 2017
(I got a hysterectomy because I hate my period and never want to have children. When I wake up from the anaesthetic, there’s a nurse standing over my bed.)
Nurse: “Don’t you ever want kids?”
(That was literally the first thing she said. I thought of so many responses later, but at the time I was too stunned and groggy to say anything. Also: period-free life is awesome. 10/10 highly recommend.)
florida80
10-19-2019, 20:29
The Importance Of Life-Saving Sandwiches
Family & Kids, Health & Body, Inspirational | Healthy Working | April 27, 2017
I work at a large mine in an isolated area. As a member of our Technical Rescue Team, I have been called many times to assist the local sheriff’s Search and Rescue.
One day in late May, when wildfires less than 20 miles away are suffusing the air with smoke, we receive a page to proceed to a canyon near the state line. This canyon has a highway carved into a steep rock wall, with the debris pushed down into the chasm. In the past, our team had been called to the area to remove the remains of drivers who crashed through the guardrails, so we are ready for the worst.
When we arrive, the SO officers tell us a father and his three sons have “hiked” to the bottom of the canyon and are stranded. They actually scrambled down approximately 600 feet of broken rock, and then found that climbing back up was impossible. It is after 5:00 pm when we arrive.
By the time we manage to get rescuers to the bottom and formulate an extraction plan, darkness has set in. I am the first down, making contact and bringing water and flashlights. Other team members follow close behind, and we move the group (father with sons 6, 7, and 9 years old) to the raise point. One of the team members brought a backpack with sandwiches, granola bars, and water. The boys agree to wait for the sandwiches until we reach the top and gobble up the granola bars (I’ll admit, the one I had was the best ever).
The trip back up the fractured rock pile takes nearly two hours, most of the time at least partially suspended on the main-line rope. There are several small incidents (lost cell phones and tennis shoes, rolling rocks, etc.) on the way up, but topping out and disconnecting was one of the best feelings I’ve ever had. The family is rushed to a waiting ambulance for evaluation, and my team leader and incident commander examine the other rescuers and me carefully before allowing us to stow our gear and get ready to leave.
I remembered that I had the sunglasses of one of the children in my pack, so I went to the back of the ambulance and opened the door to return them. That’s when the youngest asked, in one of the smallest, most plaintive voices I’ve ever heard, “But what about our sandwiches?”
When we drove away into the dawn, the father and three boys were standing in front of the ambulance eating sandwiches.
florida80
10-19-2019, 20:30
The Patient Isn’t The Only One With Patience
Awesome, Employees, Health & Body, Inspirational | Healthy Working | March 25, 2017
The hospital I work for lets patients leave comments about something good that happened to them during their stay. Once a month, the best stories are picked and shared with everyone. This story really stuck with me.
A patient who was doing an extended stay at the hospital came running out of her room in tears, screaming for help. [Nurse #1] happened to be nearby and ran to the patient’s side checking for injuries; she seems to be okay, but she is begging the nurse for help. The patient explains that she’s just gotten off the phone with her sister and it is her sister that needs help. Her sister had been having a rough go at life recently and could no longer take it; she had called to say goodbye. [Nurse #1] immediately calls for another nurse for help as she helps the patient back her her room. She briefly explains the situation to the second nurse who pulls out his phone and dials 911 as the patient attempt to get her sister back on the line.
For the next 20-30 minutes the two nurses never leave the patient’s side. [Nurse #1] is keeping a close look at the patient’s health while giving her suggestions on things to say to keep her sister on the line, as it would mean more coming from a loved one rather than a stranger. Meanwhile, [Nurse #2] is on the phone covertly getting the sister’s information from the patient and passing it along to the dispatcher.
Unfortunately, it seems that the sister catches on and swallows a handful of pills before hanging up the phone… mere minutes before the paramedics pull into her drive. Since [Nurse #2] is still on the phone with dispatch, he is able to convey to them exactly what had happened inside the house — they even know what kind of pills she’d taken! The paramedics rush the sister to the emergency room where they are able to save her life. The paramedics and dispatch are in constant contact with [Nurse #2], relaying information through him to our patient, up until the point when the sister is admitted.
The nurses went above and beyond for the patient. They could have simply called 911 and reported the situation, but they stayed by the patient’s side and treated her sister, who lives in a completely different city. A huge thank you also has to go out to the paramedics and 911 dispatcher who kept the patient informed through the entire ordeal.
I am happy to report that at the time of me writing this, both sisters are doing well.
florida80
10-19-2019, 20:31
That’s A-Meow-****!
Awesome, Inspirational, Money, Pets & Animals | Healthy | February 6, 2017
(I was in the car driving when this came on the radio. A cat had been shot repeatedly in the head by someone with an airsoft gun and had been brought into a veterinary clinic. The cat had no owner that the clinic knew of, and they were using a very popular radio station to advertise the cat’s plight and raise money to try and save it. They needed a grand total of £4,000 as the clinic has decided to foot half the bill. People call up to donate, or go into the clinic, and it’s very quick that they managed to get £500 when this call comes through.)
Host: “You’re through to [Radio Channel]; can I take your name?”
Caller: “I don’t want to give it. I want to donate, though.”
Host: “Okay, that’s great! How much do you want to donate?”
Caller: “I want to pay £7,500.”
(The host and vet representative are clearly shocked, and explain how much they’re looking for because of the split.)
Caller: “I understand that, but I don’t want the clinic to do that. It’s a nice thing to do, but they have other animals to save and I don’t want them to suffer with this. I don’t have children. I lost my husband. I don’t have to worry about overheads but I have a LOT of money. I want to pay for the entirety of the cat’s surgery. And, if no-one claims that poor cat, I’d like to give that cat a home.”
(It moved the host, the representative, me, and I’m sure a lot more listeners to tears. We later found out that the lady who donated did take the cat, and she calls up now and then to keep them posted on how he’s doing.)
florida80
10-19-2019, 20:31
Making Sure The Survivors Are Surviving
Hall of Fame, Health & Body, Inspirational, Language & Words, Popular | Healthy Right | May 19, 2016
(My family is 100% German, and came to the US around 1900. Shortly after WW II ended, my grandma, who was working on getting her nursing certification, decided to volunteer at an aid center for recently arrived Holocaust survivors. My grandma was born in Chicago, and English was and is her first language, but she spoke German because her parents and grandparents spoke it, and had a slight accent. She’d been bullied about it all through the war, and was worried it’d be the same at the center, but decided to volunteer anyway. Sure enough, some of the other nurses started making snide comments, until one of the patients, a woman in a wheelchair, beckoned her over.)
Patient: *in halting English* “You… German?”
Grandma: “No.”
Patient: *disappointed* “You no speak German?”
Grandma: *in German* “Ja. I speak German. My parents are from Germany.”
Patient: *in German* “Oh, thank the Lord! English is such a hard language, and everyone here is so brusque, and there are no trees anywhere! I miss the mountains! What part of Germany are your parents from? Do they miss it? Have you ever been?”
(As soon as they found out my grandma spoke German, all of the other survivors came right over and started chatting away, completely dumbfounding the rest of the nurses! To my grandma’s relief, none of them held it against her that her family was German; most of them just wanted to talk about their homes and families, and were relieved to find someone who spoke their language. It wasn’t long before some of the other nurses and the aid center director asked her for help learning German themselves!)
florida80
10-19-2019, 20:32
Kindness Has Real Staying Power
Health & Body, Inspirational, Popular | Healthy | May 17, 2016
(After avoiding any kind of surgery for the 35 years of my life I end up in the ER on Monday with appendicitis. I am very, very scared because of the aforementioned lack of surgeries. One of my roommates comes with me and intends to stay with me all night.)
Nurse: “We like people to go home and not stay here all night. It’s not comfortable.”
Roommate: “That’s okay. I want to stay.”
Nurse: “Well, in a shared room you have to get the permission of the person in the other room.”
Roommate: “Well, then, ask them. I want to stay.”
Other Person: “Let her stay! If I had someone here with me I’d want them to stay.”
(I was so out of it, and so scared, but the other person, also there with appendicitis, was so kind to let my roommate stay with me and it helped a lot. My roommate literally held my hand all night so every time I woke up I could feel it. If she hadn’t been there I think I’d have been inconsolable. I’m healing fine, and the other person in my room was able to go home without needing surgery at all!)
florida80
10-19-2019, 20:32
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 9
Awesome, Health & Body, Inspirational, Kind Strangers, Popular | Healthy | May 17, 2016
(My family is visiting my grandma, and we like renting bicycles to ride around the gated community where she lives. My mom and two younger siblings are just on our way back to the house. It’s a very hot day and I’m wearing a dark shirt.)
Me: “Hold up a minute. I feel woozy.”
(I pull onto the grass and sit down, panting, as my vision swirls with purple-green clouds. Usually they clear in a few moments, but they’re not going away. I can’t get back on the bike until I can see, so Mom is about to send my brother on ahead to bring Dad back with the car, when a car pulls up next to us.)
Little Old Lady: “Do you need help?”
(I’m a little fuzzy on the details after that point, but it turned out that she was a retired nurse! She offered to drive me back to Grandma’s house. I was doing a little better in the air-conditioned car, but I was still woozy and she talked to me to keep me awake. When we got to the house, I had to lean on her shoulder to get inside; my dad told me later that he thought I was helping her at first! She helped me into a reclining chair and got a cool, damp washcloth to put on my forehead before she left, with instructions to drink lots of water and not move for a while. She left before I could thank her, but I sent a thank-you note when I was better. Even after they retire, nurses are awesome people!)
florida80
10-19-2019, 20:33
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 8
Medical Office | Working | March 4, 2016
(During first full week of Advanced Placement and IB tests of my junior year in high school I find myself struck with a particularly nasty illness called norovirus, which causes nearly non-stop vomiting and diarrhea. I am home alone, as my father is out the whole week for business, and I am taking the bus to and from school for exams. Since I knew I cannot miss any of these tests on such short notice, I manage to tough it out for four days, but at that point I have not been able to eat or drink anything that remains in my stomach for more than five minutes. Severely dehydrated and weak, I finally decide to go to a close-by clinic for IV fluids after school. Since they need a doctor on-site to legally be able to give fluids, I call ahead.)
Nurse: “Hello, [Clinic]. This is [Nurse]. How may I help you?”
Me: *very quietly as my throat has started to develop acid sores* “Hi… Do you have the… Do you do IV fluids?”
Nurse: “What’s that, sweetie? I didn’t quite catch that.”
Me: “I need IV fluids… I really need them.”
Nurse: “Unfortunately we don’t have a doctor with us right now, hun.” *I start crying, since at this point I’m worried I will not be able to get out of bed tomorrow for my next exam* “Sweetie, what’s the matter? Are you hurt?”
Me: “No… I think I got norovirus from that restaurant that was shut down last week and I’m home alone and I have my AP tests that I can’t miss and I haven’t been able to eat or drink anything for days and I’m getting too weak to do anything! I can’t go to the ER because my dad didn’t leave me enough money to cover anything and I really need to go to my exam tomorrow!”
Nurse: “All right, sweetie, give me one second.” *the line is silent for about five minutes* “Okay, hun, here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to go out to you and pick you up, then we’re going to go to the [Clinic] downtown and get you your fluids. After that I’ll take you home and you give me your exam schedule. Is tomorrow your last day for exams until next week?”
Me: *shocked at her kindness* “Yes, ma’am.”
Nurse: “All righty. Then I’ll take you to your exam tomorrow morning and then we do need to check you into the hospital, all right, sweetie? Give me your address and I’ll be there in a few minutes. Call your dad and tell him what is going on, okay?”
(This nurse had negotiated with her supervisor to get the next two days off work so she could make sure I was taken care of and safe. After my exam the next day she picked me up and took me to the hospital, used a few personal favors to get me in quickly and hold off on payment, and stayed with me until my father could get there. We have since become good friends, and I am currently working on my own MD while volunteering at her clinic. This woman is why nurses really should rule the world!)
florida80
10-19-2019, 20:33
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 7
Hospital | Working | October 30, 2015
(I am pregnant and suffering from toxaemia, which is a form of blood poisoning. My blood pressure is extremely high and I have been admitted to hospital. I have been there for two weeks when my blood pressure goes even higher.)
Matron: “You have been scheduled for an emergency induction tomorrow morning; we can’t leave you like this for any longer.”
(Very early the next morning, she comes in and starts the preparation for the induction when a doctor comes in.)
Doctor: “[Matron], I need you to stop what you are doing. I need to speak to the patient. Please leave us alone.”
Matron: “Yes, doctor.” *leaves*
Doctor: *to me* “We are postponing your induction.”
Me: “But I’ve been told I have to have it.”
Doctor: “We’ve decided not to do it right now. It doesn’t really matter, seeing as this is elective.” *meaning I chose to have it done*
(He says nothing to reassure me and leaves. Later one of the nurses comes by.)
Nurse: “[My Name], what are you still doing here? I was sure you would have had your baby by now.”
Me: “Dr [Doctor] told me that it wasn’t being done, and told me it was elective.”
Nurse: “He said what? Did you elect to get pre-eclampsia? I’ll go and see what’s going on.”
(A few minutes later she is back.)
Nurse: “I found out why they postponed you. We only have four birthing rooms and there are a dozen screaming women down there waiting to get into them. You were considered stable enough to wait one more day”.
Me: “I would have understood if he said that.”
Nurse: “Yeah, doctors don’t think.”
florida80
10-19-2019, 20:34
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 6
Awesome Workers, Health & Body, Medical Office, Nurse | Working | December 9, 2013
(I’ve been sick this past week and I go to the clinic at nine am. They tell me they will call in the prescription at ten am. At two pm, I go to check the prescription.)
Pharmacist: “I have no prescription here under your name.”
Me: “The clinic said it would be ready by ten am. Let me call them.”
(I call the clinic.)
Me: “Hello. I have a prescription that hasn’t been put through yet. I need to make sure I am at the right pharmacy.”
(I am promptly transferred without a word to the women’s clinic line, which is the incorrect department. I am instructed to leave a message, as the nurses are out to lunch.)
Me: “Um, hi. I am [My Name]. I was just wondering where my prescription was sent. It’s not at the pharmacy and—” *I cough and my head immediately begins to ache terribly. I sniffle and tear up* “—if you could please help me that’d be nice.”
(I hang up and go home. At three pm I go to the clinic to verify the location of the pharmacy. They tell me the order has been sent, and to wait a couple hours. I go home yet again. At five pm I get a call from the women’s clinic number at which I left the message.)
Nurse: “Hello, is this [My Name]? You left a message a couple hours ago.”
Me: “Yes. I’m sorry, I was trying to find out where my prescription was. I already checked back with the clinic and they told me where the prescription would be.”
Nurse: “Everything’s all right, though? This is the wrong department for your call, but since you’ve had the prescription filled…”
Me: “Well… no… I called the pharmacy and the prescription still hasn’t been ordered yet.”
Nurse: “Oh. Let me get on that. I’ll make sure they get it filled out.”
Me: “Okay.”
Nurse: “I will call you back in a minute, sweetie.”
(The nurse hangs up and calls back a few minutes later.)
Nurse: “Okay, I’ve gotten them to fill out your prescription and the pharmacy should have it soon. You are taking [Medicine], which is two pills twice a day. No matter how bad it is, take all of them. You can take decongestants and ibuprofen to deal with the congestion and pain. And, honey, popsicles are your best friends. Drink lots of fluids and warm tea, and get plenty of rest.”
(At this point, the nurse’s concern has caused me to tear up.)
Me: “Thank you so much! I’ve been dealing with this for a week.”
Nurse: “You just sound so sick, sweetie. I called the pharmacy and told them to work extra quick on your order. The pharmacist’s name is [Name]. She’ll have your prescription ready as soon as she can.”
Me: “Thank you.”
Nurse: “You feel better, honey.”
(To that nurse: You had me sobbing. You cared so much and it wasn’t even your department. You helped me and told me more about my medicine than the doctor in the CORRECT department did. I’m so grateful there are people as nice as you working in the women’s clinic!)
florida80
10-19-2019, 20:34
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 5
Bullies, Hospital, Nurse, Parents/Guardians, Wild & Unruly | Right | August 13, 2013
(I’m 18, and have been hospitalized for a severe case of mono. As a result of the illness, my throat is badly swollen and I can hardly speak. I’m on lots of painkillers. I’m sharing a room with a boy who swallowed a rock. The boy has been screaming since his mother left and his father can’t quiet him down.)
Nurse: “Okay, [My Name], I’m just going to check your vitals.”
Me: *whispering* “How much longer until I can have more pain medication?”
Nurse: “Not for a while, sweetie.”
(The nurse leaves. The boy’s father has been watching us the whole time.)
Boy’s Father: “Listen, you little b****! Don’t you f****** gossip about me to the f****** nurses! You keep your f****** mouth shut, or I’ll shut it for you!”
(I’m stunned, as I haven’t said a word to or about him. As I can’t move and can barely speak, I’m in tears and terrified. Not long after, my mom comes in to visit.)
Mom: “Hey, [My Name]. How are you doing?”
Me: *crying and whispering* “Mom, the dad of that boy screamed at me. He said to shut up, or he’d shut me up.”
(My mom is silent, but clearly fuming. She leaves for a moment.)
Boy’s Father: “WHAT DID I SAY?!”
(Just then, my mom comes back with security in tow.)
Mom: “Escort him from hospital grounds NOW.”
Boy’s Father: “B****! You can’t tell me what to do! You aren’t the boss here! I’m twenty-f******-five!”
Mom: “Actually, I AM the boss here! It’s my day off, but I’m head nurse on this floor, and if you EVER speak to my daughter ever again, I will have you arrested so fast that you won’t ever hear the sirens! And by the way, I’m forty-freaking-eight and I have the good sense not to let my kids eat rocks!”
(The man was removed from hospital grounds and was banned from re-entering for 48 hours unless it was an emergency. I have the best mom in the world.)
florida80
10-19-2019, 20:35
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 4
Restaurant | Right | June 14, 2013
(My mother takes my younger brother and me out to a restaurant for dinner. As we are eating we witness a car crash in the road. My mother, being an LPN (licensed practical nurse), leaves her meal to rush across the street to offer help. We are seated by an elderly couple right next to a window.)
Elderly Man: “Did your mom just go out there to help them?”
Me: “Oh, well, she’s a nurse. Pretty much anytime an accident occurs and she’s there, she tries to help.”
Restaurant Proprietor: “That’s your mother out there?”
Little Brother: “Yeah. Our mom’s a nurse, so she went to help out.”
Restaurant Proprietor: “Wow! How cool!”
(My mother spends the next 30 minutes out in the middle of traffic, helping both drivers with their injuries, and waiting until EMTs arrive. She comes back in, and we resume our meal like nothing has happened.)
Elderly Woman: “Are they okay?”
Mom: “Yeah, but the poor girl — her parents are out of town. She has to wait in the hospital for them to come and see her. She pulled out, and that guy pulled out in front of her and rammed her car.”
Elderly Woman: “Well, at least they’re okay.”
(Another 20 minutes pass while my mother finishes her meal and the check is brought out to us. As the proprietor from earlier leaves the check, the couple next to us get up to leave.)
Elderly Man: “Let me tell you something…”
(He quickly snatches the check off of our table.)
Elderly Man: “If I were in an accident like that and needed help, I would want you to come and help me. Anyone who selflessly dodges traffic to help someone like that deserves to have their meal paid for. I hope that if one day I’m in an accident I have you there for me.”
(Despite my mother’s protests, the man pays the bill without even glancing at the total. When we go to the front to explain ourselves, the cashier isn’t surprised.)
Cashier: “Oh, that’s Bill. He’s a regular here. I’m not surprised he did that. He’s a real sweetheart. He was actually on his first date with that girl!”
(If you ever read this, Bill, you moved my mom to tears that day. You have forever made me want to be a better person! It’s people like you that re-instill my hope in humanity.)
florida80
10-19-2019, 20:35
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 3
Fast Food, Jerk | Right | February 26, 2013
(I arrive at work an hour and a half early because I forgot what time I start. I decide to sit in the lobby and have lunch before my shift. I notice that the trash can is in dire need of being emptied and that the front counter is busier than usual. I start to tie the bag up, when a customer screeches at me.)
Customer: “What do you think you’re doing?”
Me: “Just changing the garbage, ma’am. It was full to overflowing and it was too busy for someone to leave their post and do it.”
Customer: “You don’t have to do that, young man! You’re not one of these dropouts that lives in their parent’s basements who can’t do anything better with their lives! What are you taking?”
Me: “I’m planning on becoming an licensed practical nurse. But, ma’am, I don’t just go to school. I work to pay my bills. As a matter of fact, I live in a condo my mother owns. She does not live with me, and I pay rent to her. I pay for my electricity, my Internet, and my heating. How do I earn the money for this, you ask?”
(At this point I remove my hat from my bag, put it on and remove my coat, revealing that I am dressed in my work uniform.)
Me: “I work here, taking whatever hours I can get. A student without anything on their resume will take any job they can. ”
(I point to one of my coworkers who is mopping the floors at the back of the store.)
Me: “She’s a neuroscience student. Just like me she has bills to pay. In the future, please remember that people who work in fast food are not always drop outs, but more often than not students trying to fund their education. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take out this trash, unless you would like me to help extract your foot from your mouth first.”
(Flustered and obviously embarrassed, the customer leaves the store in a hurry. My manager, who is also a classmate of mine, speaks with me once I return from the dumpsters.)
Manager: “Technically, you could be fired for badmouthing a customer while on the job like that.”
Me: “Technically, I’m not working right now! I haven’t clocked in, and my shift’s not for another half hour.”
Manager: “Well then, brave citizen, how does free apple pie sound?”
(I accepted, of course. You just don’t say no to free pie!)
florida80
10-19-2019, 20:36
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 2
Restaurant | Right | February 8, 2013
(I am out to breakfast with some friends from work.)
Me: “Excuse me, do you know if the cook uses milk to make the omelets or just eggs?”
Waitress: “Just eggs. Are you allergic to milk?”
Me: “No, but I am lactose intolerant and I forgot to bring my meds.”
(We all order our food. However, after the waitress leaves, I overhear someone from the table next to us asking for a manager.)
Other Customer: *loudly* “I want to complain about that waitress. I heard her interrogating that poor woman about her personal medical issues! I’m a doctor and I know you can’t just ask people about things like that! It’s against the law! She could sue you!”
Me: *to the other customer* “Excuse me, before things get out of hand here, I’m the person she’s talking about. First of all, our waitress asked if I had an allergy to milk. It was a good question considering I made a point of asking if some of your foods have milk in it. If I was really allergic, the kitchen would have to take extra precautions to avoid anaphylaxis. Secondly, there’s no such law that I know of unless you’re talking about the laws in place to protect your private health information from being accessed by other people without your permission. I don’t see how those would apply in this case.”
Other Customer: “What the h*** are you talking about? What are you, some kind of lawyer, smarta**?”
My Friend: “No, ‘doctor,’ she’s some kind of nurse.”
(We all pulled out our hospital IDs. The “doctor” shut up after that. The manager thanked us for clearing things up and left, and our waitress gave us a free round of cheesecake with a free lactose-free muffin for me!)
florida80
10-19-2019, 20:38
Why Nurses Should Rule The World
Adorable Children, Medical Office, Nurse | Right | October 29, 2012
(My five-year-old son has received a serious injury to his eye. After a pediatrician recommends us to an eye doctor, we are referred to a specialist that works out of a university two hours away from home.)
Nurse: “These are all the contact numbers you should need. I also went online for some directions, and called ahead to let them know it should only be a few hours.”
Son: “I don’t want to.”
Nurse: “What’s the matter?”
Son: *visibly getting upset* “I’m scared.”
Nurse: “But you’ve been so brave this whole time! How about this: if you go see the new doctor, I’ll give you my phone number and you can call me if you get too upset, okay?”
(The nurse writes down her work extension and cell phone number on a piece of paper and adds it to my paperwork, insisting that I feel free to call if I have any problems or questions. My son stays calm all the way to the university and through the appointment with the specialist until we’re told he’s going to need surgery. Crying and upset, he begs me to call the nurse from the clinic.)
Me: *on the phone* “I’m so sorry to bother you, I know you’re still working, but he’s really upset and asked to talk to you.”
(I put the phone on speakerphone so my son, crying on the exam table, can hear.)
Nurse: “Hey, buddy! What’s wrong?”
Son: *crying* “The doctor here wants to give me surgery!”
Nurse: “There’s nothing wrong with that. It’ll make your eye all better. You’ll be able to see again, like we talked about.”
Son: “But I’m scared! It’s going to hurt!”
Nurse: “Of course it’s not going to hurt. That nice doctor wouldn’t hurt you!”
Son: “Have you been given surgeries?”
Nurse: “Yeah, kiddo, a few.”
Son: “And you came back to life?”
Nurse: “Every single time.”
Son: “Promise?”
Nurse: “Swear.”
(My son has calmed down considerably throughout the conversation, and there’s not a dry eye in the room.)
Son: “Okay…”
Nurse: “See? I knew you were brave.”
Son: “Thank you! Love you!”
Nurse: *laughing* “Love you, too.”
(I thanked the nurse a thousand times, and she insisted I call her ASAP to let her know how the surgery went. Later that day, she texted us a picture of herself and her family with a ‘GET WELL SOON’ sign they made for my son!)
florida80
10-19-2019, 20:52
An Anti-Depressing Turn Of Events
Awesome, Employees, Health & Body, Inspirational, Popular | Healthy Right | April 22, 2016
(This happened during what was one of the worst times in my life. I’ve just transferred to a new college and it is a rough transition. I am lonely, self-conscious, have about a million doubts about myself and my life. My anxiety has gotten so bad that I am literally sobbing in the doctor’s office just by attempting to discuss it with him. This man has been my whole family’s doctor for most of my life.)
Doctor: “I know you’re reluctant to try medication, a lot of people are, but sometimes it’s just brain chemistry. And seeing you here like this, hearing that you’ve already tried therapy, I just want to help you find something that will help you.”
Me: “I just don’t want that to mean that there’s something wrong with me.”
Doctor: “That’s not what this means. It means that you’re doing what you need to do in order to live a happy, healthy life. And if it doesn’t work for you, you can stop whenever you want. Look, there’s this new anti-depressant that’s still in trial stages but it’s doing really well and has minimal side effects. How about I give you some of the free samples and you just try it out?”
(I eventually, reluctantly, agreed to this. As I left, I was handed a cardboard box, definitely bigger than I’d anticipated for just a few free samples. It turned out that my doctor had given me ten bottles of the stuff, all free samples, so that I would have enough that I could take back to college with me if I decided to use it, plus some free samples of an allergy spray that he knew I sometimes had trouble affording, and a prescription for another anti-depressant just in case this one didn’t work for me. This doctor honestly saved me. I took those anti-depressants for just about a year and they worked. I don’t take them anymore; I’ve changed enough in mind and body and lifestyle that I don’t need them now. But I never would have gotten to this point without them. My doctor took the time and effort to think of me as a person as well as a patient and went the extra mile to make sure I’d be ok. THANK YOU. This, to me, is what all doctors should strive to be.)
florida80
10-19-2019, 20:53
A Friendly Bill Of Health
Hall of Fame, Inspirational, Kind Strangers, Money, Pets & Animals, Popular | Healthy | April 5, 2016
(When I was 19 I had just moved into my first apartment. I got a kitten from a friend’s cat that had kittens. I suffered from severe (suicidal) depression at the time, barely leaving the house or doing anything. Once I had a kitten to care for, I had a lot more motivation to care for myself. It was a huge step in getting myself into therapy and recovering. No matter how bad things got, I always had my baby kitty who always loved me. She lives with me for 18 years in reasonably good health but eventually, her kidneys give out and it is her time. Unfortunately, I have just lost my job and we are pretty broke. As we are long time, reliable clients of the vet, they agree to let us pay in installments. I sell some crafts I make online so I make social media posts promoting my craft site to help cover the costs of my baby kitty’s euthanasia and cremation. About a week later of stressful, sad job-hunting and desperate crafting, I get a phone call from the vet:)
Vet: ” I have some news for you”
Me: *confused* “Okay…”
Vet: “Someone called in and anonymously paid your bill.”
Me: “What…?”
Vet: “They made us swear to keep it anonymous, but your entire vet bill has been cleared up. You don’t have to worry about it anymore.”
Me: *sobbing uncontrollably*
(I don’t think I will ever be able to thank that anonymous donor enough. My kitty was a literal lifesaver. Losing her (even after having her for 18 years) was crushing to me. I worried the stress was going to push me back into the depression again, but this act of kindness brought me back. Thank you.)
florida80
10-19-2019, 20:57
Totally Plastered
Extra Stupid, Great Stuff, Health & Body, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive | Healthy Right | October 30, 2009
Me: “All right, your cast is on nice and secure. It should heal within four to six weeks.”
Patient: “Really? Only four to six minutes?”
Me: “No, four to six weeks.”
Patient: “Okay, four to six minutes.”
Me: “Sir, it’s impossible for it to heal within four to six minutes. It takes about four to six weeks.”
Patient: “Oh, all right.”
(I turn around to fill out his form. When I turn back around, he has taken off his cast.)
Me: “Sir, why did you take off your cast?!”
Patient: “Well, you said it heals within four to six minutes, but you said it was too short. I waited seven minutes… but it still hurts.”
Me: “Sir, your arm is still broken. Four to six weeks is around a month and a half.”
Patient: “Well, why didn’t you tell me that in the first place?! A month and a half is five weeks! Why did you say four to six minutes?”
Me: “I never said…” *I pause and compose myself* “…Okay, nevermind. Let’s put on a new cast.”
Patient: “Oooh! Can I have a pink one?”
florida80
10-19-2019, 20:58
Loosely Based On A True Story
Dentist, Health & Body | Healthy Right | October 28, 2009
Patient: “I think there’s something wrong with my tooth.”
Me: “Can you describe the problem?”
Patient: “Well, I think it’s loose.”
(The patient suddenly spits his tooth onto the counter in front of me.)
Me: “Yes… Yes, I think you’re right.”
florida80
10-19-2019, 20:58
They Call Me Doctor DIY
Call Center, Dentist, Doctor/Physician, Great Stuff | Healthy Right | October 22, 2009
(We sell dental surgical products and sometimes have to give instructions on their usage. A doctor calls in from the operating room and has me on speakerphone while they’re operating on a patient, who may or may not be under anesthesia.)
Doctor: “The screw is not going in. Which way do I turn it?”
Me: “Clockwise.”
Doctor: “Clockwise from above or below?”
Me: “If you are looking at the head of the screw, then clockwise… to the right.”
Doctor: “What do you mean to the right? Move the wrench to the right?”
Me: “As the screw turns, and you are looking at the head, the top part will go to the right.”
Doctor: “Okay, I think I got it.”
Me: “Good. Righty tighty, lefty loosey.”
Doctor: “What was that?”
Me: “Uh, righty tighty, lefty loosey? That’s one way to remember. You go to the right to tighten, and the left to loosen.”
Doctor: “Oh, I see. Righty tighty, lefty loosey!” *noise of wrench turning* “Righty tighty, lefty loosey. It’s working!”
Me: “Great. All finished?”
(The doctor suddenly speaks up much louder than before. It’s clear they’re not talking to me.)
Doctor: “You’re all done then!”
Patient: *in the distance* “Uh, thank you, doctor.”
florida80
10-19-2019, 20:59
If The Zits Don’t Kill You, The Angst Will
Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Medical Office, Teenagers | Healthy Right | October 6, 2009
Me: Hello this is [Doctor’s Office]. How may I help you?”
Caller: “Help! I’ve sprouted a nipple on my forehead!”
(From the caller’s voice, I could tell that it was a female teenager.)
Me: “Excuse me? If this is a prank, I can report you–”
Caller: “No, this is not a prank! This morning I got up, and there was this huge, red lump on my forehead… and now I’ve poked it and this milk is coming out!”
Me: “Hon, that’s a pimple, not a nipple.”
Caller: “Oh…” *gasps* “Is it deadly?”
florida80
10-19-2019, 20:59
Getting On Your Nerves
Dentist, Health & Body | Healthy Right | September 22, 2009
(I am a dentist about to give a patient a shot of local anesthetic).
Patient: “I hate needles. Will this hurt?”
Me: “Just concentrate on taking nice, deep breaths. It’ll be over before you know it.”
Patient: “Could you please tell me when you’re ready to give the shot? I need to know!”
Me: “Sure. I’ll give it on the count of three. Ready? One, two–”
Patient: *screams* “You’re killing me! It hurts so much!”
Me: “I haven’t actually given you the shot yet.”
Patient: “Oh. Well, um, I was just practicing for when you did.”
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