Have A Heart, Use Your Brain

[florida80]

About To Be Charged For (Theft) Of Battery
PHARMACY, RETAIL | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 16, 2016
(A male customer comes in, walks up to the counter, and puts a package of batteries on the counter.)

Customer: “I want to return these.”

Me: “May I have your receipt, please?”

Customer: “I don’t have a receipt.”

Me: “Then I will need a government issued ID.”

Customer: “I have a college ID.”

Me: “I am sorry, sir. It must be a valid government issued ID.”

(He hands me the college ID.)

Me: “I am sorry, sir. This ID isn’t government issued.”

Customer: “Fine, then I won’t return ’em. Stupidest f****** rule ever.”

(The customer proceeds to wander around the store looking around, and then returns to the front counter with his hands empty.)

Customer: “I lost my batteries.”

Me: “Okay, sir, I can have an employee help you look for them.”

(I wave an employee over and assign him to help the customer look for the batteries. They head out to the floor to look. The customer selects a few items as he is looking around. Then all of a sudden, with his hands full, he casually walks right past the cashier and out the front door. I walk up to the doorway and yell.)

Me: “Sir, you need to come back in and pay for those items.”

Customer: “Why? You stole my d*** batteries!”

(I watch him get in his car. I get the license plate number and call the police and give them a general direction the customer headed. The police call me back fifteen minutes later.)

Officer: “We caught the suspect. He was trying to return the items you described as stolen to the [Drugstore] across the street from you.”

Me: “What?! Wow! Okay … uh… hmm.”

Officer: “Yeah, I know. Sometimes I can’t wrap my mind around how some people can be so stupid either.”

[florida80]

Please Leave A Message After The Snappy Tone
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 15, 2016
(My dad is the pharmacy manager and is bringing me in to job shadow him and his coworkers. My dad is well-known and well liked among most of his customers and has never shown anyone disrespect before, being an easy-going and reasonable man. He’s in the middle of unlocking the pharmacy as it is ten minutes before opening, and already there is someone at the drive-thru.)

Customer: *immediately as the technician turns on the speaker* “Why aren’t you guys answering your d*** phone?!”

Technician: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we only just opened. Can I help you with anything?”

Customer: “You can get me my prescription. How dare you keep me waiting any longer than I already have?!” *note that she only just got here, as have we*

Technician: “All right, ma’am. Just one moment.”

(The technician takes her information before turning around and give me a knowing exaggerated look. I resist giving the customer the finger as she huffs and turns to her daughter in the passenger seat who rolls her eyes as the technician talks to my dad. My dad comes over to speak with her and give her her medicine.)

Dad: “I’m really sorry for the wait, ma’am, but we haven’t opened the pharmacy yet. Here is your prescription.”

Customer: “You WOULD’VE known I was coming if you just answered your d*** phone!”

Dad: *with high level of patience and positivity that I can only ever hope to achieve* “I’m sorry ma’am, but again, we have only just started opening the pharmacy. There was no one here to answer the phone until two minutes ago. I hope you have a good day.”

Customer: “Don’t get snappy with me! You should always answer the phone!” *drives off*

Dad: *shrugs at me* “She’s not a regular. She probably doesn’t know our hours.”

(Everyone got back to work and the rest of the day went on pretty peacefully. It was only later that my dad checked the phone and found thirteen unheard messages, from 2:43 am, 3:11 am, 4:13 am, etc. All of them had no actual messages and were silent. Three guesses who they were all from and the first two don’t count.)

[florida80]

Card Barred
PHARMACY | WORKING | NOVEMBER 5, 2016
Clerk #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Do you have a loyalty card?”

Me: “No, I lost it.”

Clerk #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : *continues ringing up items* “This is on sale. If you’d had your card, you could have had the discount. Ooh, this one would have been a BIG discount if you’d had a card.”

Me: “Could you use the store’s courtesy card?”

Clerk #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “No, we don’t do that anymore.”

Me: “Well, would it be possible for me to get a new card?”

Clerk #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “No, we don’t do that either.”

Me: “Really? No customers can’t get a new card anymore.”

Clerk #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Nope.” *continues ringing up items, STILL commenting on how much money I could have saved if I’d had my card*

Me: *to different check-out clerk, a few minutes later* “Is it true that [Company] doesn’t allow customers to apply for new cards anymore?”

Clerk #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Huh? What? You can have a new card anytime you want. Do you want one right now?”

[florida80]

Teenage Boys And Smutty Mags? You Don’t Say!
EDITORS' CHOICE, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, PHARMACY, RELIGION, RUDE & RISQUE | RIGHT | MAY 19, 2008
Angry Old Woman: “Excuse me! I am very upset because you sold my young grandson p*rnography!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t sell p*rnography.”

Angry Old Woman: “Get me the manager, now!”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Angry Old Woman: “Your pervert cashier sold my grandson p*rnography!”

Manager: “Are you sure about that? We don’t sell anything like that here.”

Angry Old Woman: “Do you think I’m stupid? I saw it with my own eyes! It had naked women and he told me he bought it here with no problem!”

Manager: “Could you show me on the shelf what it was?”

(She goes over to the magazines, and points at Maxim.)

Angry Old Woman: “It was this one! See? Right here! Where any child could see!”

Manager: “Ma’am, this magazine is not p*rnography. Granted, the women are scantily clad in a few pictures but they aren’t naked and there is no age restriction on its sale.”

Angry Old Woman: “I know p*rnography when I see it, and this is very offensive. How could you sell it to young children?”

Manager: “Well, actually our store policy dictates that we won’t sell this to a young child even though it is still legal. How old is your grandson?”

Angry Old Woman: “He’s only sixteen!”

Manager: *rolls eyes* “I don’t want to offend your moral beliefs, Ma’am, but if your sixteen year old grandson wants to look at women in bikinis there is no force on earth that is going to stop it. Seriously.”

Angry Old Woman: “The power of Jesus can stop it! The power of Christ should compel you to remove this magazine from your shelves!”

Manager: “Right… Real quick, ma’am, before I get back to work, can I ask you a question? Does your grandson have Internet access?”

Angry Old Woman: “What does that have to do with anything?”

Manager: “A lot, and I think that the power of Christ should compel you to learn how to look up his browser history. Have a good day.”

[florida80]

How About Some Ritalin While You’re At It
INSURANCE, MONEY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MAY 7, 2008
(Our insurance transmitter was experiencing problems, so we were unable to transmit to any insurance companies when filling prescriptions. I explained this to one customer, who decided to sit and wait for a while to see if the transmitter would come back up. Meanwhile, another customer came in with a prescription.)

New Customer: “Hi, I’d like this filled please.”

Me: *explains transmitter problem*

New Customer: “Oh that’s okay, I don’t have insurance.”

Me: “No problem, we’ll have it ready in just a few minutes.”

Original Customer: “Wait! I was ahead of her! Why isn’t mine ready!?”

Me: “We are still waiting for the insurance transmitter to come back up, sir.”

Original Customer: “Well how did you fill hers!”

New Customer: “I pay cash, I don’t have prescription coverage.”

Original Customer: “Well I pay cash too!”

Me: “You want to just get it at retail price, and not use insurance?”

Original Customer: “Yes! I have cash! I’ll pay for it, just fill it now!”

(Five minutes later…)

Me: “Okay, sir, we’ve got you ready. The total comes to $35.99.”

Original Customer: “WHAT! My co-pay is only $3.00!”

Me: “Sir, you said you wanted to go ahead and pay cash price since the insurance transmitter is still down.”

Original Customer: “I do have cash! See?” *shows wallet with cash in it* “Why is it $35?! You people don’t know anything! I’m taking my business elsewhere!”

Me: *facepalm*

[florida80]

We Can Also Give It Lots Of Benadryl
EDITORS' CHOICE, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | APRIL 28, 2008
(Our new drugstore is assigned a phone number that had previously belonged to the animal shelter. We ALWAYS answer the phone with our store name and hours, but people don’t always listen. This becomes annoying, but one of my coworkers likes to have fun with it.)

Caller: “Uh, yeah. I have this raccoon in my backyard.”

Coworker: “Hmm… that’s nice.”

Caller: “Yeah, well it seems to be acting strangely… like it’s crazy.”

Coworker: “What do you want me to do about it?”

Caller: “Well, you should do your job and come out and get rid of it! Isn’t that why I pay my taxes?”

Coworker: “Okay, then. Give me your address.”

Caller: *gives out address*

Coworker: “All right, after I close the drugstore I’ll be over with my shotgun around midnight. There will be a loud noise, so warn your neighbors. Since I don’t work for your taxes, just tape a $20 bill inside your mailbox, more if you want a fancy burial. Have a nice day!” *click*

[florida80]

Back In My Day, Pills Fell Like Mana From The Heavens
EDITORS' CHOICE, HEALTH & BODY, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 13, 2008
(I was cashiering the closing shift on a Sunday night. The pharmacy closes earlier than the rest of the store on weekends. A customer comes in at 9:30pm.)

Customer: “Oh sh*t! The pharmacy is closed?!”

Me: “Yes, they close at 6pm on weekends. They will open again at 8am tomorrow morning.”

Customer: “But I need a prescription filled.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the pharmacist will not be here until 8am tomorrow morning.”

Customer: “Can’t you do it?”

Me: “No…”

Customer: “Why not?!”

Me: “I’m not a pharmacist.”

Customer: “Don’t be a smart a**!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Only a pharmacist can fill your prescription.”

Customer: “What is this world coming to?!” *storms out*

[florida80]

Speak For Yourself
EDITORS' CHOICE, JERK, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | AUGUST 28, 2008
Customer: “Excuse me!”

Me: “How can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “My wife sent me in here to pick up some chestnut brown and I can’t find it.”

Me: “Okay, is that makeup or hair color?”

Customer: “I don’t know; she just said chestnut brown.”

Me: “Do you happen to remember the brand name?”

Customer: “No! She just said chestnut brown. Weren’t you listening?”

Me: “Well, it sounds like hair dye to me. Let’s have a look.”

(We both go to the hair coloring aisle and I start to look through every shade in every brand. The man does not help at all; it takes me ten minutes.)

Me: “Here you go, sir. This is Garnier hair color, chestnut brown.”

Customer: “Are you sure that’s it? I don’t want to go home and have to come back.”

Me: “You could call your wife and ask her.”

Customer: “She’s not at home. Oh, wait, hold on.”

(He pulls a piece of paper from his pocket and begins to read it.)

Customer: “Yep, Garnier chestnut brown. That’s it!”

Me: “Sir, no offense, but you could have saved us a lot of time by reading that note in the first place.”

Customer: “That’s the problem with this country. Nobody wants to work anymore!”

Me: “Yeah, that’s our problem.

[florida80]

He Shoots, He Misses
PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 13, 2008
(I used to work at a drug store. From time to time, the pharmacy portion of the store wouldn’t open because there wasn’t a pharmacist to do so. A customer reads the closed sign…)

Customer: “What’s the meaning of this?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. The pharmacy is closed today because we don’t have a pharmacist.”

Customer: “People are SICK! They need their MEDICATION!”

Me: “I wish there was something I could do, sir, but–”

Customer: “You know what this is? Do you?! Two words! TWO WORDS! UN-ACCEPTABLE!”

[florida80]

Thirteen Bucks Can Buy A Lot Of Beans
EDITORS' CHOICE, HEALTH & BODY, MONEY, PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 4, 2008
Customer: “I hear there’s this stuff you can put on your food that won’t give you gas.”

Me: “Oh, yeah… it’s called Beano. Put a couple of drops on your food and the enzymes in it prevent the food from giving you gas.”

Customer: “So, you have it?”

Me: “Yep. I’ll show you.”

(We walk over to the shelf where Beano is kept. I show him the little 3 or 4 oz. bottle; a little goes a long way with that stuff.)

Me: “This is it.”

Customer: “How much?”

Me: “$12.99.”

Customer: “For THAT little bottle? S***, I’ll just fart!”

[florida80]

The Inadvertent Thief
CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, EDITORS' CHOICE, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, STUPID | RIGHT | JUNE 26, 2008
Lady: “Do you sell aloe vera gel?”

Me: “No, I’m afraid we don’t, but you might be able to get it at [Store] down the street.”

Lady: “Oh, great, thanks.”

(She leaves and ten minutes later returns wielding a tube, looking irritated.)

Me: “Hello again, did you manage to find it okay?”

Lady: “No! You told me they had aloe vera gel! All they had is the cream! I don’t want the cream!”

Me: “Um… you didn’t want the cream but you bought it anyway?”

Lady: “No, of course I didn’t BUY–”

(She suddenly stopped and looked at the tube in her hand. Her expression turned to horror and she legged it back out the door. My coworkers and I laughed for a good ten minutes at that one.)

[florida80]

Along The Way, You’ll Meet Some Hopped-Up Munchkins
EDITORS' CHOICE, FUNNY, PHARMACY, SARCASM, USA | RIGHT | MAY 23, 2008
(I live in a town where 65% of the people are 65 years old and older. When we were redoing the design of the store, they placed a large white walkway from the front door to the pharmacy.)

Customer: “Hi, I would like to pick up my prescription.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is the front of the store. Your prescription is in the back of the store, in the pharmacy.”

Customer: “How do I get there?”

Me: “Follow the white brick road.”

[florida80]

An Inconvenient List of Truths
HOSPITAL, PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 5, 2009
Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Yeah, I need you guys to fill a prescription for me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we are a hospital pharmacy. We only prepare medications for patients of the hospital.”

Caller: “Well, that’s simply discrimination. You ought to fill for everyone.”

Me: “You see, sir, we’re very different from a retail store. We issue individual, bubble-packed pills in one-day supplies to the nurses to give to their patients. We don’t have bottles, and we don’t do 30-day supplies like a store does. We don’t have a cash register, or any kind of means to ring up customers. We’re also located in an employees-only area of the hospital, near the morgue. You can’t really get to us that easily.”

Caller: “Well, those are all excuses.” *hangs up*

[florida80]

That’s Commitment
PHARMACY, RETAIL, TIME | RIGHT | JANUARY 15, 2009
Me: “Thank you for calling your local 24-hour pharmacy. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, what time do you close?”

Me: “Sir, we never close. We’re open 24 hours.”

Customer: “Well, that’s just ridiculous. How can you put up with that?”

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “So if I show up at four in the morning with a prescription, you’d be there?”

Me: “Yes, sir, we’d be open.”

Customer: “And what time do you open?”

Me: “Sir… we never close; we are always open. Think of it like a 24-hour diner; there’s always someone here to help you.”

Customer: “Oh, man, that must stink! When do you get time to go home and sleep?!”

Me: “Er… we have cots in the back.”

[florida80]

As Long As You’re Happy
DATING, MONEY, MOVIE THEATER | RIGHT | JANUARY 16, 2009
Customer: “If I buy a popcorn, can I get a drink for $2?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry; everything is full price.”

Customer: “My man that I’m dating is such a cheapskate! He only gave me $5! He’s such an a**hole! *pause* “You need to find a rich one.”

Me: “Ha ha, yeah.”

Customer: *leans across the counter and lowers her voice* “A rich one… who’s good in bed.”

Me: “…”

Customer: *as an afterthought* “I guess he should have a good heart, too.”

[florida80]

An Inconvenient List of Truths
HOSPITAL, PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 5, 2009
Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Yeah, I need you guys to fill a prescription for me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we are a hospital pharmacy. We only prepare medications for patients of the hospital.”

Caller: “Well, that’s simply discrimination. You ought to fill for everyone.”

Me: “You see, sir, we’re very different from a retail store. We issue individual, bubble-packed pills in one-day supplies to the nurses to give to their patients. We don’t have bottles, and we don’t do 30-day supplies like a store does. We don’t have a cash register, or any kind of means to ring up customers. We’re also located in an employees-only area of the hospital, near the morgue. You can’t really get to us that easily.”

Caller: “Well, those are all excuses.” *hangs up*

[florida80]

That’s Commitment
PHARMACY, RETAIL, TIME | RIGHT | JANUARY 15, 2009
Me: “Thank you for calling your local 24-hour pharmacy. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, what time do you close?”

Me: “Sir, we never close. We’re open 24 hours.”

Customer: “Well, that’s just ridiculous. How can you put up with that?”

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “So if I show up at four in the morning with a prescription, you’d be there?”

Me: “Yes, sir, we’d be open.”

Customer: “And what time do you open?”

Me: “Sir… we never close; we are always open. Think of it like a 24-hour diner; there’s always someone here to help you.”

Customer: “Oh, man, that must stink! When do you get time to go home and sleep?!”

Me: “Er… we have cots in the back.”

[florida80]

Insert Butt Crack Here
EDITORS' CHOICE, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 31, 2008
Customer: “Hi, I’m having a problem with my suppositories. They’re not working at all!”

Me: “Okay, let me get the pharmacist for you so he can help you.”

(The customer decides to just yell the same question over two counters to the pharmacist in front of at least 10 other people.)

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, would you like to come over to our consultation are so we can talk about this privately?”

Customer: “No, I just want to know why my suppositories aren’t working!”

Pharmacist: “Well, okay. Are they melting before you insert them?”

Customer: “No, nothing like that!”

Pharmacist: “Are they breaking up into pieces before you use them?”

Customer: “No, no, nothing like that! They’re all in one piece and the same shape and all that stuff! I know how to follow the d*** directions!”

Pharmacist: “Are parts of the foil wrapper sticking to it at all?”

Customer: “What wrapper?!”

(Note: the suppository wrappers are aluminum foil with sharp edges. Ouch.)

[florida80]

After This, She’s Gonna Need An Antidepressant
IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, MONEY, PHARMACY, STUPID | RIGHT | OCTOBER 26, 2008
Customer: “Hi, can I have some of those allergy medications that are behind the counter? The 24 hour kind.”

Me: “Sure thing…”

(I grab one, because law mandates that the computers only allow me to check out one 24 hour medication for a certain period of time).

Customer: “Oh, I wanted four. Can I have four, please?”

Me: “Sorry, I can only give you one. There’s a law that makes me check your ID on the computer. It won’t let me check out more than one for you, at least not in the 24 hour dose.”

Customer: “Well, can you at least try? If you’d TRY once in a while, you never know what you can do!”

Me: “All right, then…”

(I scan one and sure enough, the second won’t go through.)

Me: “Yup, it won’t let me check out the second one. Your total’s gonna be about 20 bucks.”

Customer: “Okay, now try the third one.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “If the second one didn’t work, maybe the third one will.”

Me: “Ma’am, all four of these are exactly the same. If the second one didn’t work, what makes you think if I rang up another box of the exact same thing would work?”

Customer: “JUST DO IT!”

Me: “Okay… yeah… it’s not working.”

Customer: “Okay, now try the fourth one.”

(Suffice it to say it doesn’t work; after she buys her one box, she comes back about fifteen minutes later.)

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU SELL ME THIS EXPIRED MEDICATION!”

Me: “Err… what? I can guarantee you it’s not. I checked it before I gave it to you.”

Customer: “Oh yeah? Then what’s this? It says FEB 20!”

Me: “Yes… February… of 2020. Not February 20th.”

Customer: “Uh… well, I’m older than you and I probably make way more than you anyway, so I’m right. I’m 42 and I make $[amount] an hour!”

Me: “I’ll agree with you, you’re much older than I am. I’m only 26. But, ma’am, you are talking to a pharmacist. I make twice that. Oh, wait… I’m in overtime now… three times that. Actually, in the time it took me to help you, I just made one hour’s worth of your wage. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

[florida80]

Even Managers Have A Stupid Quota
BOSSES & OWNERS, HEALTH & BODY, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, MONEY, PHARMACY, REFUND | RIGHT | OCTOBER 8, 2008
(A young, angry-looking woman is standing at the pharmacy counter with a small pile of white sticks.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, these pregnancy tests are all faulty. I want a refund.”

Me: “Okay. So, what happened? Were they broken or missing pieces?”

Customer: “No, they keep saying positive. I’m not pregnant.”

Me: “Um… okay. So, if you’re not pregnant, then why get the tests?”

Customer: “Get your manager!”

Me: *gets manager*

Manager: “What’s the problem?”

(I wander off at this point, called into the vitamins section. When I come back, security is taking the woman out of the store.)

Me: “What the…?”

Manager: “Twit. She just wanted her money back. I hope she has twins that cause a LOT of pain and are ugly. REAL ugly… and poop a lot!”

[florida80]

Bilingual Secret Shame
PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 20, 2009
Customer: “Excuse me, what are diaper couches?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Diaper couches.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not sure what you mean.”

Customer: *points to the boxes of diapers* “That box! It says ‘diaper couches’.”

Me: *suddenly understanding* “Ma’am, that box says diapers, and then it says ‘couches’. That’s the French word for diapers.”

Customer: *looks around, then whispers* “Don’t tell anyone!” *leaves*

[florida80]

Rip Van Winkle To The Extreme
IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 2, 2009
Customer: “Hi, I have a rather simple question to ask you.”

Me: “Sure thing. What can I help you with?”

Customer: “Hypothetically speaking, if I wanted to make someone sleep for a really long time, what would I use?”

Me: “Um, just how long are you talking?”

Customer: “Well, I was thinking somewhere around forever.”

Me: “…”

[florida80]

MacGyver Becomes a Dad
EDITORS' CHOICE, MEDICATION, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 26, 2009
(A man is picking up a prescription for his infant child.)

Customer: “How much did you say the prescription was?”

Me: “$49.99.”

Customer: “What’s the difference between this and what I can get over the counter?”

Me: “There’s no cough medicine you can give your eight-month-old, sir, other than this.”

Customer: “Well, what’s in it?”

(He picks up the prescription papers and starts rustling through them.)

Customer: “If I can buy everything that’s in it over the counter, I’ll just make it myself.”

Me: “…excuse me?”

[florida80]

Perhaps Multiple Choice Might Be Easier
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 20, 2009
Customer: “I’m after some cold and flu medication.”

Me: “Sure, do you take any other medication?”

Customer: “Um… no… I don’t thi-… wait, yes, but it’s… actually no, no, I don’t.”

Me: “Okay then, and are you allergic to anything?”

Customer: “God, this is too hard!” *storms out*

[florida80]

Surely, One Missed Anatomy Class Can’t Hurt…
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 19, 2009
(A woman walks in with her daughter one afternoon.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “There’s something wrong with my daughter.”

Me: “Oh?”

Customer: “Her eyes keep closing on their own!”

Me: “…ma’am, that’s called blinking.”

[florida80]

Script Stupidity
HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, STUPID | RIGHT | MAY 28, 2009
Customer: *holds up two bottles* “What’s the difference between these two medicines?”

Me: “The one on the left is a capsule; the one on the right is a tablet.”

Customer: “I mean, which one would be better?”

Me: “They’re exactly the same medicine, just in different forms. Most people buy whichever one is easier for them to swallow.”

Customer: “That’s just stupid! How can you swallow a bottle?”

[florida80]

Script Stupidity
HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, STUPID | RIGHT | MAY 28, 2009
Customer: *holds up two bottles* “What’s the difference between these two medicines?”

Me: “The one on the left is a capsule; the one on the right is a tablet.”

Customer: “I mean, which one would be better?”

Me: “They’re exactly the same medicine, just in different forms. Most people buy whichever one is easier for them to swallow.”

Customer: “That’s just stupid! How can you swallow a bottle?”

[florida80]

Where There’s A Pill, There’s A Way
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MAY 21, 2009
(A customer comes in with a prescription for a narcotic pain reliever. He says that he was at the hospital with his wife and the hospital stole his pills, which is why he needs to get this prescription filled, even though his last prescription was just filled a few days ago.)

Me: “OK, sir, I talked to your doctor and he says I can fill your prescription.”

Customer: “Great, can I wait? I have no pills left and I really need it.”

Me: “It’ll be about 10 minutes.”

(10 minutes later.)

Me: “OK sir, your prescription is ready.”

Customer: “Hey, are those pills the same as this?” *holds up pill*

Me: “I thought you didn’t have any pills left, sir.”

Customer: “Well…I bought this off the street, to be honest with you.”

Me: “Oh…good.”

[florida80]

Where The Sun Don’t Shine, Bungholio
PATIENTS, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 12, 2009
Customer: “These things don’t work! They are hard to swallow and I nearly choked to death.”

Me: “Ma’am, they are suppositories. You don’t swallow them; you insert them rectally.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “You unwrap them and insert them in your rectum.”

Customer: “What’s my rectum?”

Me: “Ma’am, please forgive me, but your rectum is your butthole.”

Customer: “Well, up yours, too!” *stalks off*

(This is not the first time someone misunderstood when we explained how to use a suppository. It’s the only time we can tell a patient, “Up yours,” and get away with it!)

[florida80]

Super Absorbent For Those Mentally Heavy Days
EDITORS' CHOICE, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 23, 2009
(An elderly man calls up to the store.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Pharmacy]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, my granddaughter came to visit me, and she bought me a birthday gift. It’s on the kitchen table, but I’m not sure what it is.”

Me: “Okay, well, what can you tell me about the product?”

Customer: “Well, the box says ‘K-O-T-E-X’. Can you tell me what that is, honey? What it’s used for? I just can’t figure it out.”

Me: Well, sir… that’s a feminine hygiene product.”

Customer: “Feminine hygiene? What’s the product for? I just can’t figure it out.”

Me: “Sir… it’s for women on their period.”

Customer: “Why would my granddaughter buy me Kotex?”

Me: “I don’t know, sir. Maybe you should ask her that.”

Customer: “So can I still use them to stir my Kool-Aid with? Because that’s what I’ve been using them for.”

[florida80]

Yeah, Definitely Contraindicated
DRUGS, EDITORS' CHOICE, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 21, 2009
(A patient walks up to the pick-up window looking like he just came from the emergency room.)

Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I wanna drop this off…” *hands me an ER prescription*

Me: “Sir, this is the pick-up window. You need to drop off the prescription at the drop off window.”

Customer: “Where’s that?”

Me: “The counter at the entrance to the room with the big sign that says “Drop Off Window’.”

Customer: “Where?”

Me: “You know, you already waited in line so I’ll just take the prescription here. Have you ever had any medication here before?”

Customer: “I don’t know; have I?”

Me: “I’ll take that as a no. Do you have any allergies to medication?”

Customer: “Well, when I mix heroin and battery acid, I get a rash.”

Me: “…I’ll make a note on that.”

[florida80]

Yeah, Definitely Contraindicated
DRUGS, EDITORS' CHOICE, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 21, 2009
(A patient walks up to the pick-up window looking like he just came from the emergency room.)

Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I wanna drop this off…” *hands me an ER prescription*

Me: “Sir, this is the pick-up window. You need to drop off the prescription at the drop off window.”

Customer: “Where’s that?”

Me: “The counter at the entrance to the room with the big sign that says “Drop Off Window’.”

Customer: “Where?”

Me: “You know, you already waited in line so I’ll just take the prescription here. Have you ever had any medication here before?”

Customer: “I don’t know; have I?”

Me: “I’ll take that as a no. Do you have any allergies to medication?”

Customer: “Well, when I mix heroin and battery acid, I get a rash.”

Me: “…I’ll make a note on that.”

[florida80]

Bilingual Secret Shame
PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 20, 2009
Customer: “Excuse me, what are diaper couches?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Diaper couches.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not sure what you mean.”

Customer: *points to the boxes of diapers* “That box! It says ‘diaper couches’.”

Me: *suddenly understanding* “Ma’am, that box says diapers, and then it says ‘couches’. That’s the French word for diapers.”

Customer: *looks around, then whispers* “Don’t tell anyone!” *leaves*

[florida80]

Rip Van Winkle To The Extreme
IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 2, 2009
Customer: “Hi, I have a rather simple question to ask you.”

Me: “Sure thing. What can I help you with?”

Customer: “Hypothetically speaking, if I wanted to make someone sleep for a really long time, what would I use?”

Me: “Um, just how long are you talking?”

Customer: “Well, I was thinking somewhere around forever.”

Me: “…”

[florida80]

MacGyver Becomes a Dad
EDITORS' CHOICE, MEDICATION, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 26, 2009
(A man is picking up a prescription for his infant child.)

Customer: “How much did you say the prescription was?”

Me: “$49.99.”

Customer: “What’s the difference between this and what I can get over the counter?”

Me: “There’s no cough medicine you can give your eight-month-old, sir, other than this.”

Customer: “Well, what’s in it?”

(He picks up the prescription papers and starts rustling through them.)

Customer: “If I can buy everything that’s in it over the counter, I’ll just make it myself.”

Me: “…excuse me?”

[florida80]

Perhaps Multiple Choice Might Be Easier
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 20, 2009
Customer: “I’m after some cold and flu medication.”

Me: “Sure, do you take any other medication?”

Customer: “Um… no… I don’t thi-… wait, yes, but it’s… actually no, no, I don’t.”

Me: “Okay then, and are you allergic to anything?”

Customer: “God, this is too hard!” *storms out*

[florida80]

TMI Mom Tries To Help
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 6, 2009
(A forty-something year old woman comes to the counter with her purchases. Amongst them is a box of condoms, which have security stickers on them. Before I scan the item, I swipe it a few times over the scanner to deactivate it.)

Customer: “Is it not scanning?”

Me: “No, I’m just deactivating the security sticker. I don’t want you to set off the alarm on the way out. Especially over condoms!”

Customer: “Oh I’m not embarrassed! They’re not for me, they’re for my son. I can’t even get an erection!”

[florida80]

Script Stupidity
HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, STUPID | RIGHT | MAY 28, 2009
Customer: *holds up two bottles* “What’s the difference between these two medicines?”

Me: “The one on the left is a capsule; the one on the right is a tablet.”

Customer: “I mean, which one would be better?”

Me: “They’re exactly the same medicine, just in different forms. Most people buy whichever one is easier for them to swallow.”

Customer: “That’s just stupid! How can you swallow a bottle?”

[florida80]

Where There’s A Pill, There’s A Way
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MAY 21, 2009
(A customer comes in with a prescription for a narcotic pain reliever. He says that he was at the hospital with his wife and the hospital stole his pills, which is why he needs to get this prescription filled, even though his last prescription was just filled a few days ago.)

Me: “OK, sir, I talked to your doctor and he says I can fill your prescription.”

Customer: “Great, can I wait? I have no pills left and I really need it.”

Me: “It’ll be about 10 minutes.”

(10 minutes later.)

Me: “OK sir, your prescription is ready.”

Customer: “Hey, are those pills the same as this?” *holds up pill*

Me: “I thought you didn’t have any pills left, sir.”

Customer: “Well…I bought this off the street, to be honest with you.”

Me: “Oh…good.”

[florida80]

Where The Sun Don’t Shine, Bungholio
PATIENTS, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 12, 2009
Customer: “These things don’t work! They are hard to swallow and I nearly choked to death.”

Me: “Ma’am, they are suppositories. You don’t swallow them; you insert them rectally.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “You unwrap them and insert them in your rectum.”

Customer: “What’s my rectum?”

Me: “Ma’am, please forgive me, but your rectum is your butthole.”

Customer: “Well, up yours, too!” *stalks off*

(This is not the first time someone misunderstood when we explained how to use a suppository. It’s the only time we can tell a patient, “Up yours,” and get away with it!)

[florida80]

Super Absorbent For Those Mentally Heavy Days
EDITORS' CHOICE, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 23, 2009
(An elderly man calls up to the store.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Pharmacy]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, my granddaughter came to visit me, and she bought me a birthday gift. It’s on the kitchen table, but I’m not sure what it is.”

Me: “Okay, well, what can you tell me about the product?”

Customer: “Well, the box says ‘K-O-T-E-X’. Can you tell me what that is, honey? What it’s used for? I just can’t figure it out.”

Me: Well, sir… that’s a feminine hygiene product.”

Customer: “Feminine hygiene? What’s the product for? I just can’t figure it out.”

Me: “Sir… it’s for women on their period.”

Customer: “Why would my granddaughter buy me Kotex?”

Me: “I don’t know, sir. Maybe you should ask her that.”

Customer: “So can I still use them to stir my Kool-Aid with? Because that’s what I’ve been using them for.”

[florida80]

Noah Already Had Two Customers On The Ark
PHARMACY, STUPID, WEATHER | RIGHT | OCTOBER 26, 2009
(Much of our area is suffering from massive flooding. A man walks into our chain pharmacy, completely drenched from the chest down.)

Me: “Wow, what happened to you?”

Customer: “I tried to go to your other location and it was closed!”

Me: “That location is flooded, sir. There’s about four feet of water surrounding it.”

Customer: “I know! I had to wade all the way up to the door before I found out it was closed! How do you think I got so wet?”

[florida80]

Not A Case Of If, But When…
ALCOHOL, PARTY, PHARMACY, POLICE, TEENAGERS | RIGHT | AUGUST 20, 2009
(While waiting in line, I overhear a conversation between a teenager and a police officer, both of whom are also waiting. The boy has red plastic cups and ping pong balls in hand.)

Officer: “Can I ask what those are for?”

Teenage Customer: “No, no questions.”

Officer: “Where’s the party?”

Teenage Customer: “No parties.”

(The kid checks out, and as he’s walking out the door yells “SODA PONG!” and flicks his wrist.)

Officer: *to me* “Yeah, I’ll get the call in a couple of hours.

[florida80]

Hard Drugs And Harder Pharmacists
CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, EDITORS' CHOICE, NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY, PHYSICAL, USA | RIGHT | JULY 31, 2009
(A teen approaches my cash register very slowly.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Give me all the f****** medicine!”

(The teen pulls out an airsoft pistol with orange tip still glued to the front.)

Me: “The pharmacy is in the back of the store.”

Customer: “Oh… okay.”

(He holsters the airsoft gun in his belt and darts down the aisles to the back of the store. My manager comes out of the back room because of the commotion.)

Manager: “Who was that?”

Me: “Some kid looking for drugs. He went back to the pharmacy.”

Manager: “Why didn’t you call the police?”

(The teen runs screaming from the back of the store, out of the front door, followed closely by the pharmacy technician, a 35-year-old boxer built like a fridge.)

Me: “Doug started working today.”

[florida80]

There’s No Pills Like Home
EDITORS' CHOICE, PHARMACY, STUPID | RIGHT | JULY 17, 2009
(A patient called in to inquire about the medication she has just picked up.)

Me: *on the phone* “Pharmacy.”

Patient: “Hi, I just picked up this medication, and I think I may have a problem.”

Me: “Is there something incorrect with how it was filled?”

Patient: “No, it’s just that the cream here says to apply locally, and I’m going out of town tonight. I was wondering if I could still use it.”

Me: “Um… yes. Yes, you can.”

Patient: “Oh, okay, good… Oh… Oh, God. I just realized… Oh, my God, just forget I asked! How stupid of me!”

[florida80]

On The Bright Side, There Are Worse Orifices
HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, STUPID | HEALTHY RIGHT | JULY 15, 2009
Me: “[Pharmacy], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, your medicine is defective.”

Me: “Sir, why don’t I get your information so I can take a look at your profile.”

Customer: *gives his name and date of birth*

Me: “I see that the last prescriptions you filled were antibiotic and drops for your ear infection. Are your symptoms still bothering you?”

Customer: “Yes, and how the h*** do you expect me to fit this giant pill in my ear?”

Me: “Sir, that’s an antibiotic tablet. It’s meant to be taken orally.”

[florida80]

Health Care(less)
HEALTH & BODY, MONEY, PHARMACY, SOUTH CAROLINA, USA | RIGHT | MAY 19, 2010
Me: “That will be $43.78, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, no, it won’t.”

Me: “I’m sorry, did you have insurance? You weren’t in the system. Do you have your card on you?”

Customer: “No, I don’t have insurance. Obama said health care is free.”

Me: “I don’t think that’s how it works, ma’am.”

[florida80]

There’s No Pills Like Home, Part 2
HEALTH & BODY, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | APRIL 19, 2010
(My phone number is one number off a nearby pharmacy. We get a lot of misdials. My father happens to actually be a pharmacist but he doesn’t work there.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hello? You just say, ‘Hello’? How dare you be so rude! You should say, ‘Thank you for calling’!”

Me: “Oh, you must be looking for [Pharmacy]. You have the wrong number.”

Caller: “Liar! How would you know what store I’m looking for? You’re just trying not to get in trouble. Give me your manager.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t have a manager. You’ve called a private residence. The number for the pharmacy is close to our number, so we get a lot of wrong calls.”

Caller: “This is outrageous! Give me your manager! I will not be treated this way!”

(The caller is rambling and being rude so I hang up the phone. She calls back, and my father answers it.)

Father: “Hello?”

Caller: “Is this the manager? Thank God! I want to know if [drug] can be taken with food! And you should fire that girl that answered before; she was very rude to me! I want to file a complaint!”

Father: “Ma’am, this is not the grocery store pharmacy. You just told off my 14-year-old daughter. I happen to be a pharmacist. That drug does not need to be taken with food. However, you should see a doctor about your ears, as you clearly can’t hear a word anyone says.”

This story is part of our Hilarious Wrong Number round

[florida80]

Seriously Bad Hair Day
AUSTRALIA, MELBOURNE, PHARMACY, TIME, VICTORIA | RIGHT | MARCH 11, 2010
(It’s 10 pm. We are in the final motions of locking up: registers closed and lights off. I’m just locking the door.)

Customer: *runs up in a panic* “Oh, no! You are closed? It’s an emergency! I really need to buy one thing!”

Me: “Sorry, we’re closed. Maybe you could come back in the morning.”

Customer: “No! I can’t wait that long-this is an emergency! Please help me!”

Me: “Okay, I suppose I can help you quickly for an emergency. Do you need antibiotics or paracetamol or something?”

Customer: “I need a packet of hair pins!”

[florida80]

How To Seize The Moment
HEALTH & BODY, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, OHIO, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MARCH 8, 2010
(An elderly woman is having a seizure and obviously 911 has been called to the scene.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but when can I get my prescription?”

Me: “Ma’am, this woman is having a seizure and needs medical attention right away.”

Customer: “But I was here before her!”

[florida80]

This One’s A No-Brainer
AUSTRALIA, NEW SOUTH WALES, PHARMACY, SYDNEY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 13, 2010
Customer: “My mother is taking some medication and it is making her sick. Can you stop giving it to her?”

Me: “I’ll have to ask the pharmacist for you. What medication is it?”

Customer: “It’s a little white pill.”

Me: “You don’t know the name of it, sir? We do have many white pills in the pharmacy.”

Customer: “I think it’s for her heart… or her brain.”

[florida80]

Don’t Hold Your Breath For This One
COLORADO, DRUGS, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | JULY 16, 2010
(I am counseling a patient on using an inhaler.)

Me: “Do you know how to use an inhaler, sir?”

Patient: “Nope, never used one.”

Me: “Okay, you’ll want to begin inhaling, and then depress the inhaler as you are breathing in. Then, hold your breath for as long as possible to allow the medication to be absorbed into your lungs.”

Patient: “Oh, sort of like smoking pot…”

[florida80]

Hollywood, M.D.
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, HEALTH & BODY, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 1, 2010
(A customer comes to the counter with a bleeding hand.)

Customer: “Have you got a first aid kit back there? I caught my hand and it’s bleeding.”

Me: “Of course. I’ll go get it.”

(I come back with the kit and take out some antibiotic ointment and some bandages.)

Customer: “Oh, I shouldn’t need the bandages.”

Me: “Are you sure? It’s bleeding quite a lot.”

Customer: “Well, that ointment will just fix it, won’t it?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “That stuff you’ve got in your hand; that’ll just heal it up, right?”

Me: “This helps it heal faster and prevents it from getting infected, but it doesn’t heal it immediately.”

Customer: “Don’t you have the stuff that just fixes it right away?”

Me: “I don’t believe they have anything that does that, ma’am.”

Customer: “They do, I saw it before!”

Me: “Where did you see it?”

Customer: “I saw it on some movie. I don’t want that stuff there. I want the stuff I saw in the movie. Just get that stuff and fix this already, will you?”

[florida80]

Medication Frustration
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, STUPID | RIGHT | JUNE 28, 2010
Customer: “I’m picking up a prescription for [Name].”

Me: “Okay. Just a second.”

(I check the drawer for the prescription and can’t find it.)

Me: “When did you order it?”

Customer: “Well, I saw the doctor on Monday.”

Me: “So you came in on Monday?”

Customer: “No, I went to the doctor’s on Monday.”

Me: “Okay, so when did you drop your prescription off?”

Customer: “What do you mean? I went to the doctor.”

Me: “And did he give you a piece of paper that said what drugs you needed?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “That’s a prescription. You need to bring it here so that we know what you need.”

Customer: “But I saw the doctor on Monday! Why didn’t he do it?”

Me: “That’s not his job. That’s what pharmacists are for.”

Customer: “So, what, he’s a doctor but he’s not a pharmacist? Look, I saw him on Monday so he probably just did it then. You’re just not looking hard enough. Look for the things done on Monday!”

[florida80]

The Truth Is A Bitter Pill To Swallow
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 25, 2010
Customer: “Why isn’t my prescription ready yet?”

Me: “We’re trying to get in contact with your doctor because of a problem with the prescription. Your profile says you’re allergic to penicillin. Is that correct?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, that stuff is really bad for me!”

Me: “The medication your doctor prescribed has penicillin in it, so we’re trying to get a hold of him to find out what he wants you to take.”

Customer: “Oh, well, he wants me to take the penicillin. That’s what he wrote down, right?”

Me: “Yes, but you said you were allergic to it.”

Customer: “But he’s a doctor, so he knows what’s best. If that’s what he wrote, then just give me that.”

Me: “Well, we’ll check with him first to make sure that it’s safe for you.”

Customer: “Of course it’s safe for me or the doctor wouldn’t have prescribed it! He probably just cured my allergies. Check my old prescriptions; I bet he prescribed me something to cure my allergy!”

[florida80]

High School Dropouts Work On The Pharm
BAD BEHAVIOR, BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | JUNE 12, 2010
(I work as a pharmacy tech at a chain pharmacy. I am also currently in pharmacy school and will be a pharmacist one day.)

Customer: “You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Me: “I’m sorry. Can I help you with something?”

Customer: “No! I refuse to be helped by a high school dropout! You should be ashamed of yourself for working where children can see you! You are going to make them think that it is okay to not have an education!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am not a high school dropout. I have a high school diploma and I am currently in pharmacy school working towards a Doctor of Pharmacy. I am going to be a pharmacist one day.”

Customer: “Stop lying! I have never heard of a pharmacist before. You are a high school dropout!”

Manager: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes! Your employee is lying to me! She says she is going to be a pharmacist! That job doesn’t exist!”

(The manager looks at our pharmacist who is near tears from laughing so hard.)

Manager: “Ma’am, see the man over there? He’s the one who filled your prescription. He is a pharmacist.”

Customer: “No, he isn’t! He just counts pills! You don’t need school for that!”

[florida80]

Discount Discounted
AT THE CHECKOUT, CALIFORNIA, JERK, MONEY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 29, 2010
Me: “And do you have a free rewards card with us, ma’am?”

Customer: “A what? I don’t know. Maybe. I don’t know.”

Me: “If you think you have one, I can look it up by your phone number?

Customer: “My what?”

Me: *louder* “Your phone number, ma’am.”

Customer: “I don’t have one of those! I don’t think I have one! I don’t have a phone number! I don’t have one!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, that’s fine. Your total today is $26.74, and just to let you know, you could have saved $5.90 if you had the rewards card.”

Customer: “A discount? My phone number is [number]!”

[florida80]

Will Power On Aisle 2
CANADA, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 28, 2010
Teenage Girl: “Do you guys sell that contraceptive ‘abstinence’?”

Me: “Abstinence?”

Teenage Girl: “Yeah! Abstinence! I read that it’s the only 100% way to not get pregnant!”

Me: “That’s right. But, abstinence is to not have sex, like, abstain from.”

Teenage Girl: “Well, that just sucks!”

[florida80]

Misunderstood “Total Coverage”
INSURANCE, MICHIGAN, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 17, 2010
Me: “Our records show you’ve never had a prescription filled here before, so I’ll need an ID and your insurance.”

Customer: “Here’s my ID. I don’t have my insurance on me, but it’s through [Car Insurance Company].”

Me: “Sir, I think that’s your car insurance. Do you have health insurance?”

Customer: “You mean there’s more than one kind?”

[florida80]

Feeling Pooped
HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, REVOLTING, SPOUSES & PARTNERS, USA, WISCONSIN | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 12, 2010
(A couple approaches the counter.)

Me: “Can I help?”

Customer: “Yes, can you give me advice about his stool?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t give medical advice. Perhaps you’d like to speak to our pharmacist, or consult your doctor?”

Customer: “No, I’m sure they’re very busy. I just want someone to tell me if it’s normal.”

Me: “The law says I can’t give advice. Let me get the pharmacist.”

Customer: “No, really, I have some here.” *whips out a clear bag of poo on the counter* “See, it’s all gritty. That’s not normal, is it? Do you have pills for that?”

Me: “Ma’am, you might want to take that to your doctor. We can’t accept biological waste.”

Customer: *to her husband* “See, Joe, I told you it was wrong. That’s why I save them.”

[florida80]

Rectify The Situation
HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, UK, WORDPLAY | RIGHT | AUGUST 12, 2010
Customer: “Hi there, do you sell rectums?”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “Rectums. I need a rectum. Do you sell them?”

Me: “Why do you need it?”

Customer: “I have some tablets here and it says ‘insert via rectum’ and as I don’t have one, I thought I better buy one.”

Me: “I think I better call the pharmacist in.”

(I called the pharmacist in who explained to the man exactly what a rectum is. He left, red-faced.)

[florida80]

Identity Theft Is Childs Play
AT THE CHECKOUT, CHILDREN, IOWA, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | JANUARY 14, 2011
(I am a customer in line. There is a woman with a four-year-old finishing up their purchase.)

Me: “Here’s your change.”

Four-Year-Old: “Mommy, can I do the scribbles?”

Customer: “No, honey. I paid with cash, not my credit card.”

[florida80]

Looking Down The Barrel Of A Smoking Gum
HEALTH & BODY, MADISON, OVERHEARD, PHARMACY, USA, WISCONSIN | RIGHT | JANUARY 3, 2011
(I hear this conversation in my checkout line.)

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Oh, my God, I love that nicotine gum! It makes my mouth feel all numb.”

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “You know that stuff’s going to get you addicted to cigarettes, right?”

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Nah! That stuff gets you un-addicted to them and I don’t smoke. I’m fine!”

[florida80]

Children Get Sick Periodically
FAMILY & KIDS, FUNNY, HEALTH & BODY, NEW YORK, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, PHARMACY, REVOLTING, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 19, 2010
(A woman walks into the store with her young daughter. Her daughter looks feverish and is sniffling.)

Customer: “Oh, look, honey. They have candy bars. Go get yourself one while mommy shops for her things.”

(The little girl walks up to the counter and takes a candy bar.)

Me: “Are you feeling okay, little girl?”

Daughter: “My mommy says as long as she gets her tampons, I’ll feel better.”

(The girl suddenly vomits all over the candy bars and on the counter.)

Daughter: “QUICK, MOMMY! GET YOUR TAMPONS!”

[florida80]

Ear-Waxing Lyrical About Bad Service
BAD BEHAVIOR, ENGLAND, FUNNY, HEALTH & BODY, LONDON, PHARMACY, UK | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 1, 2010
Customer: “I’ve come to pick up my prescription.”

Me: “Oh, I’m really sorry. Due to extenuating circumstances we don’t have a pharmacist at the moment so legally I can’t give out any prescriptions. But if you wait five minutes, a replacement pharmacist will be here and then you can take it.”

Customer: “But I need it. Give it to me!”

Me: “I understand your problem but I would be breaking the law if I gave it to you.”

Customer: “I work in the pharmaceutical industry and I know for a fact you are lying! Give it to me now!”

(The pharmacist arrives and I explain the problem.)

Pharmacist: “I’m really sorry for the inconvenience but my colleague was right, There was nothing she could do. But now that I’m here, you can take your prescription.”

Customer: “Your colleague is a cruel, moral-less b**** with the intelligence of a moron. She has endangered my life! I shall take this to court and win!” *storms out*

Me: *to pharmacist* “What was in her prescription?”

Pharmacist: “Drops for excessive ear wax.”

[florida80]

Retired & Extremely Dangerous
BAD BEHAVIOR, GEORGIA, PHARMACY, RUDE & RISQUE, USA | RIGHT | OCTOBER 18, 2010
Me: “Thank you for calling [Pharmacy]. May I help you?”

Elderly Female Customer: “I would like to get these two of my medications refilled and I want to pick them up tomorrow afternoon.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, that will be fine. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Elderly Female Customer: “Honey, you can come to my house and do me anytime.”

Me: “I, uh, oh, uh…”

Elderly Female Customer: “I hope I didn’t offend you, but I’m old so I can say things like that!”

[florida80]

Where The Sun Don’t Shine, Bungholio
PATIENTS, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 12, 2009
Customer: “These things don’t work! They are hard to swallow and I nearly choked to death.”

Me: “Ma’am, they are suppositories. You don’t swallow them; you insert them rectally.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “You unwrap them and insert them in your rectum.”

Customer: “What’s my rectum?”

Me: “Ma’am, please forgive me, but your rectum is your butthole.”

Customer: “Well, up yours, too!” *stalks off*

(This is not the first time someone misunderstood when we explained how to use a suppository. It’s the only time we can tell a patient, “Up yours,” and get away with it!)

[florida80]

Super Absorbent For Those Mentally Heavy Days
EDITORS' CHOICE, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 23, 2009
(An elderly man calls up to the store.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Pharmacy]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, my granddaughter came to visit me, and she bought me a birthday gift. It’s on the kitchen table, but I’m not sure what it is.”

Me: “Okay, well, what can you tell me about the product?”

Customer: “Well, the box says ‘K-O-T-E-X’. Can you tell me what that is, honey? What it’s used for? I just can’t figure it out.”

Me: Well, sir… that’s a feminine hygiene product.”

Customer: “Feminine hygiene? What’s the product for? I just can’t figure it out.”

Me: “Sir… it’s for women on their period.”

Customer: “Why would my granddaughter buy me Kotex?”

Me: “I don’t know, sir. Maybe you should ask her that.”

Customer: “So can I still use them to stir my Kool-Aid with? Because that’s what I’ve been using them for.”

[florida80]

Yeah, Definitely Contraindicated
DRUGS, EDITORS' CHOICE, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 21, 2009
(A patient walks up to the pick-up window looking like he just came from the emergency room.)

Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I wanna drop this off…” *hands me an ER prescription*

Me: “Sir, this is the pick-up window. You need to drop off the prescription at the drop off window.”

Customer: “Where’s that?”

Me: “The counter at the entrance to the room with the big sign that says “Drop Off Window’.”

Customer: “Where?”

Me: “You know, you already waited in line so I’ll just take the prescription here. Have you ever had any medication here before?”

Customer: “I don’t know; have I?”

Me: “I’ll take that as a no. Do you have any allergies to medication?”

Customer: “Well, when I mix heroin and battery acid, I get a rash.”

Me: “…I’ll make a note on that.”

[florida80]

Bilingual Secret Shame
PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 20, 2009
Customer: “Excuse me, what are diaper couches?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Diaper couches.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not sure what you mean.”

Customer: *points to the boxes of diapers* “That box! It says ‘diaper couches’.”

Me: *suddenly understanding* “Ma’am, that box says diapers, and then it says ‘couches’. That’s the French word for diapers.”

Customer: *looks around, then whispers* “Don’t tell anyone!” *leaves*

[florida80]

Rip Van Winkle To The Extreme
IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 2, 2009
Customer: “Hi, I have a rather simple question to ask you.”

Me: “Sure thing. What can I help you with?”

Customer: “Hypothetically speaking, if I wanted to make someone sleep for a really long time, what would I use?”

Me: “Um, just how long are you talking?”

Customer: “Well, I was thinking somewhere around forever.”

Me: “…”

[florida80]

There’s No Pills Like Home
EDITORS' CHOICE, PHARMACY, STUPID | RIGHT | JULY 17, 2009
(A patient called in to inquire about the medication she has just picked up.)

Me: *on the phone* “Pharmacy.”

Patient: “Hi, I just picked up this medication, and I think I may have a problem.”

Me: “Is there something incorrect with how it was filled?”

Patient: “No, it’s just that the cream here says to apply locally, and I’m going out of town tonight. I was wondering if I could still use it.”

Me: “Um… yes. Yes, you can.”

Patient: “Oh, okay, good… Oh… Oh, God. I just realized… Oh, my God, just forget I asked! How stupid of me!”

[florida80]

On The Bright Side, There Are Worse Orifices
HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, STUPID | HEALTHY RIGHT | JULY 15, 2009
Me: “[Pharmacy], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, your medicine is defective.”

Me: “Sir, why don’t I get your information so I can take a look at your profile.”

Customer: *gives his name and date of birth*

Me: “I see that the last prescriptions you filled were antibiotic and drops for your ear infection. Are your symptoms still bothering you?”

Customer: “Yes, and how the h*** do you expect me to fit this giant pill in my ear?”

Me: “Sir, that’s an antibiotic tablet. It’s meant to be taken orally

[florida80]

TMI Mom Tries To Help
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 6, 2009
(A forty-something year old woman comes to the counter with her purchases. Amongst them is a box of condoms, which have security stickers on them. Before I scan the item, I swipe it a few times over the scanner to deactivate it.)

Customer: “Is it not scanning?”

Me: “No, I’m just deactivating the security sticker. I don’t want you to set off the alarm on the way out. Especially over condoms!”

Customer: “Oh I’m not embarrassed! They’re not for me, they’re for my son. I can’t even get an erection!”

[florida80]

Script Stupidity
HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, STUPID | RIGHT | MAY 28, 2009
Customer: *holds up two bottles* “What’s the difference between these two medicines?”

Me: “The one on the left is a capsule; the one on the right is a tablet.”

Customer: “I mean, which one would be better?”

Me: “They’re exactly the same medicine, just in different forms. Most people buy whichever one is easier for them to swallow.”

Customer: “That’s just stupid! How can you swallow a bottle?”

[florida80]

Where There’s A Pill, There’s A Way
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MAY 21, 2009
(A customer comes in with a prescription for a narcotic pain reliever. He says that he was at the hospital with his wife and the hospital stole his pills, which is why he needs to get this prescription filled, even though his last prescription was just filled a few days ago.)

Me: “OK, sir, I talked to your doctor and he says I can fill your prescription.”

Customer: “Great, can I wait? I have no pills left and I really need it.”

Me: “It’ll be about 10 minutes.”

(10 minutes later.)

Me: “OK sir, your prescription is ready.”

Customer: “Hey, are those pills the same as this?” *holds up pill*

Me: “I thought you didn’t have any pills left, sir.”

Customer: “Well…I bought this off the street, to be honest with you.”

Me: “Oh…good.”

[florida80]

How To Seize The Moment
HEALTH & BODY, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, OHIO, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MARCH 8, 2010
(An elderly woman is having a seizure and obviously 911 has been called to the scene.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but when can I get my prescription?”

Me: “Ma’am, this woman is having a seizure and needs medical attention right away.”

Customer: “But I was here before her!”

[florida80]

This One’s A No-Brainer
AUSTRALIA, NEW SOUTH WALES, PHARMACY, SYDNEY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 13, 2010
Customer: “My mother is taking some medication and it is making her sick. Can you stop giving it to her?”

Me: “I’ll have to ask the pharmacist for you. What medication is it?”

Customer: “It’s a little white pill.”

Me: “You don’t know the name of it, sir? We do have many white pills in the pharmacy.”

Customer: “I think it’s for her heart… or her brain.”

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #212851 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=212851)
ARIZONA, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | OCTOBER 21, 2020
*At the retail pharmacy where I work, one of my patients hands out miniature wooden carvings mounted on lapel pins. I have a lovely red butterfly of his attached to my name tag. He’s also a bit of a joker.*

Patient: *coming up to the register as ‘Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer’ is playing overhead* Who’s the most famous reindeer of all?

Me: *hating the song after hearing it played about a billion times since the Christmas music started.* Oh, please don’t make me say it.

Patient: *brightly, as he hands me a reindeer pin* It’s Jimmy!

Me: *cracks up*

[florida80]

Line Up For Your Dose Of Instant Karma
INSTANT KARMA, JERK, PHARMACY, TEXAS, USA | RIGHT | OCTOBER 21, 2020
I work at a pharmacy. A few feet back from the pickup counter, there is a yellow line on the floor, marked with large letters instructing customers to wait behind this line until called. There are also large signs on each side of the line with the same instructions. This line exists so that customers picking up medications or receiving consultations at the counter will have some privacy from the customers waiting in line.

Often, people will ignore the yellow line and come up to the counter, and depending on what is happening at the counter, we may have to ask them to step back. I don’t like doing that, because while some customers don’t have a problem with it, some do, and you never know what will set someone off.

I am consulting a customer at the counter. Another customer approaches, stops behind the yellow line, and waits to be called. While he is waiting, a third customer barges up, passes the waiting customer, and stands right next to the customer I am consulting. I mentally brace myself and quickly try to think up the politest way I can tell the impatient customer to step back, when the waiting customer speaks up.

Waiting Customer: “Oh, that’s fine, sir. You can go ahead of me.”

The impatient customer turns around to see the waiting customer giving him both a smile and a glare at the same time.

Impatient Customer: “What? You weren’t in line. If you were in line you should have moved up!”

Waiting Customer: “You’re right, sir, what was I thinking? I’ll move up as far as I’m supposed to.”

The waiting customer very deliberately looks down at the yellow line, and then back up to the impatient customer, maintaining eye contact. He raises his foot dramatically and takes a tiny step forward so his toes are on the line. The impatient customer reads the line and the signs, blushes, and moves back behind the waiting customer.

Impatient Customer: “Oh, fine, you go first.”

Waiting Customer: “Oh, thank you, sir. That’s very kind of you.”

[florida80]

Being Patient Doesn’t Have To Be A Tough Pill To Swallow
AWESOME, INSPIRATIONAL, NON-DIALOGUE, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | OCTOBER 19, 2020
Today, our prescription software is upgraded. We were promised that it would be faster, easier to use and more stable.

We get none of these things. What we get is such a slowdown, that ringing out patients and customers comes to a crawl akin to about a 3,000-year-old frozen carcass and the same stability as a radioactive isotope. It constantly freezes and errors out.

We have a family that has about 15-20 medicines between three people. There’s a good reason why we have an entire space set aside for said family, and their medical bills would be absolutely astronomical if they were on any other insurance coverage.

The father comes in. We try ringing everything up together, TWICE. Both times, our POS terminals crashed, and we have to restart the entire terminal. The father takes it on the chin and sits back down, pulling his phone back out.

Finally, after a seeming six years for a register to come back (and while in the middle of a rush, no less), we try again. After checking everyone in the family out individually, we’re FINALLY able to send him on his way.

I’m absolutely flabbergasted by how understanding and patient he was. Even after thanking him about a billion times for his patience, he still embodied the virtue of patience, despite being who would have been understandable in leaving and coming back another time, or letting his frustration get ahold of him.

He didn’t ask for anything in return, even though he was probably waiting for a good hour while our registers decided to come back online, even offering me a fist bump before departing.

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #210617 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=210617)
CANADA, ONTARIO, PHARMACY | UNFILTERED | OCTOBER 12, 2020
(I work at a local pharmacy that for the couple years that I’ve worked there, and probably longer, has supported local woman’s health programs by donating some of the money we make selling our plastic bags. Just recently, I was at work and, taking a break from cash, decided to field a couple customer service calls.)

Me: Hello, customer service. This is (me), how can I help you?

Customer: My son was just at your store and he came home really upset!

Me: Oh, uh…

(I mentally start preparing a list of every worst case scenario.)

Customer: He got a bag while he was at your store and now he’s upset! Your bags say that his health is not as important as a woman’s! That he’s less of a man!

(It is at this point that I finally realize where this is going. We had just recently changed our plastic bags to reflect the contributions we’ve been making to our womans health program, but again, this is not something new for our store.)

Me: I’m sorry to hear that but there’s nothing I can do at store level to…

Customer: Are you saying that my son’s health isn’t worth anything?! Is that what you believe? This is sexism! I can’t believe (store name) would do something like this! How dare you support such a discriminatory practice!

Me: Mam, I’m sorry, but I can’t answer that, if…

Customer: Oh! So you think this is alright? You think my son isn’t as important as you?

Me: As I’ve said before my hands are tied. This isn’t something that’s decided at store level, there’s nothing….

Customer: You can stop selling them! All your doing is spreading sexism!

(At this point I’ve about had enough, I have the phone a good half a foot away from my ear and my coworker is already staring at me in confusion, as well as the customer they’re serving.)

Me: If you’d like to make a formal complaint, I can give you the number for head office to…

Customer: Of course I’ll be making a formal complaint! About how your store refuses to stop handing out sexist propaganda and discriminating against my son!

(I give her the main store number, as I don’t actually have the one for head office, and hang up.)

Coworker: What was that all about?

Me: Her son feels…. emasculated? By our plastic bags…?

Coworker: Our bags? Why?

Me: They advertise (program name).

Coworker: They do? I thought they just changed the colour? (Looks at bag) Hey, they do. Well, would you look at that…

Me: You just noticed? We’ve had had these for at least a month?

Coworker: Yeah, but it’s just a plastic bag.

Me: That woman calls back, I’m handing the phone to you and you can tell her that yourself.

Coworker: Bring it. Time for some battle of the sexes!

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #210519 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=210519)
PHARMACY, UK | UNFILTERED | OCTOBER 7, 2020
I work for a company that, among other things, sets up new stores in preparation for opening day. On this occasion, I’m at a location inside a shopping centre, working on a pharmacy/health and beauty store. It’s the day before opening, so the boards over the shopfront have been removed, but one entrance is locked and the other is on manual open only, and both have bright orange barriers in front of them. A painter is doing some touchup work on the bits the boards were previously covering. There are still cages full of excess equipment and stock scattered around the floor. There’s a sign-in log just inside the front door, with several toolboxes in plain sight just past it. It’s pretty obvious that the store isn’t open yet.

Despite all of this, several prospective customers had to be directed back out of the store by the security guard. They’d wandered in through the open doors while we were removing equipment cages, or they’d prised the doors open themselves in order to come in. Every single one of them expressed amazement that the shop wasn’t yet open. More than one said that there should be a sign up.

There were, people just weren’t reading them.

[florida80]

A Post-Credit Apology
PHARMACY, STUPID, UK, WORDPLAY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 7, 2020
Customer: “I can’t find my aftershave lotion anywhere! I can’t believe you wouldn’t sell any [Brand] aftershave!”

Me: “I’m pretty sure we do sell it. Let’s go and look.”

We walk over to the shelf.

Me: “Here you go. Is this the one you were after?”

Customer: “NO! I wanted aftershave lotion! This one says on it right here, ‘post-shave lotion,’ and that’s not what I want!”

Me: “Post actually means ‘after’, so…”

Customer: “Really? Oh, my God. It does, doesn’t it! I’m so sorry! Jeez, whatever they pay you here, it is not enough! Thank you!”

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #210465 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=210465)
CANADA, PHARMACY | UNFILTERED | OCTOBER 4, 2020
I was just off work from my department store job at the time and decided I should go out and treat myself a little bit so I went to the pharmacy nearby to get sweets, still in my uniform (which is just black clothes). Let’s note that at that pharmacy chain, the customers need to grab a key from the counter to access the bathroom. A group of teens approach me.
Teen: Do you work here?
Me: No, I’m just off work from somewhere else.
Teen: Okay. Can we have the bathroom keys?
Me: I don’t work here, but they are usually on the counter.
He stares at me blankly, wanting for me to go get the keys for them.
Teen: Where are the keys.
Me: I’m not sure, I don’t work here. They usually are on a counter, probably that one over there. *points at prescription counter which is clearly visible*
Teen: Can’t you help us?
At this point I was getting fed up.
Me: Go look if the keys are there or go ask to the cashier just over there. *points at cashier who is not seeing/hearing the situation and also just waiting for costumers to come to her cash* I don’t work here and I’m off the clock. Good luck.
They finally left on the quest for the key, looking miffed. Some people just think you HAVE to serve them, because they want to. Didn’t even ask politely,

[florida80]

A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 4
AUSTRALIA, CURRENT EVENTS, EMPLOYEES, HOBART, NON-DIALOGUE, PHARMACY, STUPID, TASMANIA | WORKING | OCTOBER 1, 2020
With the ongoing health crisis, doctors in my state are doing consultations by phone and having their receptionists fax or email the prescriptions to the patient’s preferred pharmacy.

One particular doctor’s surgery seemed to be having trouble with their fax machine. I received about ten copies of the cover page but none of the prescriptions that were meant to be faxed with it.

I called the practise and suggested they tried email, instead. Soon after, I received an email with an attached photograph of a pile of prescriptions.

Yes, instead of scanning or photographing them individually, the receptionist put the prescriptions in a nice, neat stack so that only the top one was readable.

At least they tried, I suppose? A day later we’re still trying to get those same prescriptions. Maybe tomorrow we’ll get lucky?

[florida80]

A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 3
CURRENT EVENTS, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, MEDICAL OFFICE, RECEPTION, USA | HEALTHY | JUNE 22, 2020
I have a compromised immune system, so I’ve been working from home and haven’t been going out much. My doctor has set up telehealth visits where we can video chat instead of going to the office.

A few days before my visit, I get a call from the office.

Me: “Hello?”

Receptionist #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Hi, this is [Receptionist #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] from [Doctor]’s office. Am I speaking with [My Name]?”

Me: “Yes, this is her.”

Receptionist #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Okay! I need to go over some basic information before your appointment. It’s just the check-in stuff we would normally do in person. Do you have about fifteen minutes for that?”

I glance at my schedule and see that I don’t have anything pressing coming up.

Me: “Sure.”

We go over my basic info — name, date of birth, weight, medications, etc. — and she verifies that I know how to log in to see the doctor. We hang up and I go back to work.

The next day, I get another call from their office. Unfortunately, I’m already in a call with a client, so I can’t answer. After I’m done, I listen to the voicemail.

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Hi, this is [Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] from [Doctor]’s office calling for [My Name]. I just need to go over some basic information with you before your appointment. Please call us back at [phone number] prior to your visit. Thank you.”

Thinking this is about something new, I call back.

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “[Doctor]’s office.”

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name]. I just received a call about some information before my visit?”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Okay. Let me pull up your file here… Okay, we just need to do your basic check-in before your visit. Do you have about fifteen minutes?”

Me: *Confused* “I did that yesterday. Is there something new?”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Hmm, I don’t see anything here. Are you sure it was with us?”

Me: “Yeah, same number, same appointment.”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Well, I’m not sure what happened but nothing is charted here. Can we go over it to make sure?”

Me: “I have a few minutes, yeah.”

We go through everything again, and after the receptionist assures me it’s all been documented, we hang up. The following day I get ANOTHER call from the same office. I’m still working, so I let it go to voicemail again. It’s a third receptionist, wanting to verify all of my information yet again. I call back, annoyed.

Receptionist #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “[Doctor]’s office.”

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name]. I received another call about my upcoming appointment.”

Receptionist #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “I see. Well, it looks like we’ve been trying to reach you, I see. I can go over your info now if—”

Me: “Look, I’m sorry. I’m sure this isn’t your fault, but I’ve done this twice already. Is it not being logged or something?”

Receptionist #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “I don’t see anything about us talking with you. Do you know who it was?”

Me: “Well, I have [Receptionists #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) & #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) ] in voicemails but I can’t remember the first one’s name.”

Receptionist #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “Mmhmm, I called today. I see that [Receptionists #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) & #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] also reached out. Are you sure you spoke with us, not another office?”

Me: “Yes. I’m sure. How is this not being recorded? Can you ask the other receptionists?”

Receptionist #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “I’m not sure what’s going on, but I can go over your information with you now.”

Me: *Sigh* “Fine.”

For a third time, I went through everything. I guess it finally stuck because that was the last call before the doctor’s visit. When I asked her if other people had the same problem, she said she didn’t know anything about it. Suddenly, I miss those in-person visits.

[florida80]

A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 2
EMPLOYEES, ENGLAND, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, RECEPTION, UK | WORKING | JULY 7, 2020
I’ve recently legally changed my name but haven’t quite updated it everywhere as some places require me to physically visit them, and it’s hard to keep track of everywhere.

I’m a university student home for the summer and am made a temporary patient at the local doctors. After my appointment, I notice my name is wrong and go to ask at reception about changing it. There are two receptionists.

Me: “Hey, so, uh, my name legally changed, and I’m wondering if I need to give you guys anything to update it? I have my deed poll here.”

Receptionist #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Let me see. How did you change it?”

Me: “By deed poll; I have it here.” *Holds out the paper*

Receptionist #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : *Takes the deed poll* “Is this our copy?”

Me: “No, that’s my legal copy. Do you need it?”

[Receptionist #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] goes to a cupboard; I assume that’s where a photocopier is or something.

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Wait, you’re a temporary patient. right? You need to update it with your GP up in [University City], not us.”

Me: “Oh, okay, thanks.”

I don’t move as the first receptionist is still holding my deed poll.

Receptionist #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “You really need to update your name. Legally, you have to.”

I hold out my hand for the deed poll.

Me: “I know. I just can’t afford to go up to [City] for one day.”

Receptionist #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : *With a sort of “gotcha” tone* “Then how are you getting back for university? You need to change it; it can cause problems if you don’t.”

Me: “I know.”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *Cutting in* “Their parents are probably helping them move back in; they just can’t go up a random day in summer. Hon, I’ve got it all set on the system. You’re fine. Have a good day.”

[Receptionist #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] said nothing and handed me my deed poll.

I thanked the second receptionist and left. I know updating my name is important, but it’s also expensive enough without having to travel just to hand over a piece of paper.

[florida80]

A Most Unreceptive Receptionist
JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, RECEPTION, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 17, 2020
(I have a potential diagnosis of a rare and extremely painful neurological disorder. I have to schedule with a neurologist, who lives a four-hour drive from where I live. By this point, I’ve been in severe pain for several months, and my patience for rudeness is admittedly running a bit thin.)

Me: “Hi, I’m calling to see if I need an MRI before I come down.”

Receptionist: “The doctor will inform you if you need that at the appointment.”

Me: “Yes, I understand that, but it’s a four-hour drive to see this doctor and I have to stay overnight and I’d rather not have to do it more than once.”

Receptionist: *much more snippy than is necessary* “Well, that’s not my problem, is it?”

Me: “Pardon me, but I’ve been in fairly serious pain for a while and that’s why I’m calling your office — to make sure that the appointment to get rid of my pain runs smoothly.”

Receptionist: “There’s no reason to take that tone.”

Me: “Are you f****** kidding me?!”

Receptionist: “Young lady, if you insist on using that language with me, I will disconnect the call and inform [Doctor] of your attitude, and we’ll see if you see another neurologist in this hospital.”

(I disconnected the call, had a panic attack, and then cried with my mom for an hour. No one is making a first appointment with a specialist for happy fun times. If you don’t understand that someone is probably calling because they’re in pain or sick, maybe you shouldn’t work in healthcare

[florida80]

Sit Down, Take A Break
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, MICHIGAN, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 20, 2020
I’m about ten years old and have just fractured my arm in two places. The breaks are minor enough that they don’t hurt, so I am much calmer than my parents, who have brought me to the emergency room. My mother brings me in to see an ER doctor while my father parks the car. The doctor is about as calm as I am.

Doctor: “You just have two little fractures on either side of your wrist.”

Me: “Okay.”

Doctor: “And how did you break this again?”

Me: “I tripped over a tent string in the dark.”

Doctor: *To my mother* “She seems like a bookish kid.”

Mom: “Yeah. She is.”

Doctor: “I think she’ll be okay with just a splint.”

And I was. No bulky cast for me!

[florida80]

Shout-Out To Frazzled Nurses!
CURRENT EVENTS, FUNNY, HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NURSES, USA, UTAH | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 18, 2020
In July, both my wife and I contract the illness the health crisis is centered on, and we are taken to the local hospital. However, because I have complications, it is decided that I need to be transferred to a larger hospital with a pulmonologist available.

I am transferred by ambulance to the bigger hospital where there are staff waiting to admit me. I am on a stretcher with various medical staff around me. There is one nurse doing transfer paperwork for me.

Nurse: “So, do you prefer to be called Dave or David?”

This question has me puzzled.

Me: “My name is John!

Nurse: “Oops, I really must check the paperwork properly!”

[florida80]

Testing Their Patients And Their Patience
CANADA, CURRENT EVENTS, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, STUPID | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 14, 2020
I work at a medical clinic. During the health crisis, I have variations of the following story many times.

Me: “Has the patient been tested for [illness] recently?”

Patient’s Ride: “Oh, he lives at a seniors’ facility, and they get tested regularly.”

Me: *Pause* “The actual [illness] test where they get a swab?”

Patient’s Ride: “Oh, well, they get their temperatures taken regularly.”

How people at this point don’t understand the difference between being screened and tested, I will never know.

[florida80]

What A Load Of Crap
BLOOD DONATION, NURSES, STUPID, UK | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 10, 2020
I have been giving blood for years now without issue. Being slim, a few nurses ask me to confirm my weight because the clinic will not accept donations from anyone under fifty kg.

Nurse: “What is your weight, please?”

Me: “It’s fifty-five kg.”

Nurse: “No, it’s not. You’re underweight.”

Me: “Yes, it really is fifty-five kg; I can jump on some scales right now if you like.”

Nurse: “No, we don’t have any here. You are not fifty-five kg. When did you weigh yourself?”

Me: “This morning, because I knew I was coming here.”

Nurse: “Before breakfast and undressed?”

Me: “Yes, of course.”

Nurse: “Was it before or after you went to the bathroom?”

Me: “I had already had a wee before I weighed myself.”

Nurse: “But not passed a stool? That will account for the discrepancy, then.”

Me: “Wait. What? The cut off is fifty kg; I’m five kg over that. I can’t lose that in one trip to the bathroom.”

Nurse: “Oh, you’d be surprised.”

In the end, I was allowed to donate if I promised to completely empty my bowels before the next visit — all five kg of it, apparently.

[florida80]

Thanks, Doctor Wazowski!
CURRENT EVENTS, DENTIST, FUNNY, MOVIES & TV, PENNSYLVANIA, PITTSBURGH, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 9, 2020
To make a long story short, due to the health crisis, I end up needing to get my six-month cleaning done at a dentist I’ve never been to before. As expected, a ton of precautions are in place: waiting outside, wearing a mask until they actually start working inside your mouth, the employees wearing extra protection, etc.

I get checked in, x-rayed, and seated in the chair just fine. Among the equipment in the room is a long metal arm with joints for maneuvering and a cone at the end. When the hygienist pulls the arm around and positions the cone a few inches away from my face; I assume it’s a light.

However, before the hygienist turns it on, she explains that it’s a “suction device” to prevent germs from escaping. Nice precaution, but as soon as she says “suction,” I can feel my eyes bug out because, knowing that’s its purpose, the shape suddenly looks VERY familiar.

Me: “What?! But… it looks exactly like the Scream Extractor from Monsters, Inc.!”

Hygienist: *Laughing* “Yeah, a lot of people have been saying that. I never saw that movie, so I didn’t get it, but I just watched it a few days ago and went, ‘Oh, my gosh, yeah. We have the Scream Machine.’”

So, I had my cleaning done with a loud vacuum running a few inches from my face, and I left very grateful that they had seen me and with a hilarious story to text to the siblings.

[florida80]

The Least Annoying Telemarketer Ever
AWESOME, HEALTH & BODY, INSPIRATIONAL, KIND STRANGERS, TELEMARKETING, THE NETHERLANDS | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 8, 2020
The official description of colic — or “crybaby” as is its literal translation from Dutch — is “a baby that cries at least three hours a day, at least three days a week, for at least three weeks,” and it usually passes by the fourth month.

When I was a baby, I cried for twenty hours a day, every day, for over seven months. The doctors weren’t able to find a cause. Food intolerances were tried and ruled out, my parents were accused of malingering and observed in the hospital to make sure they weren’t exaggerating and/or inducing the crying, and my parents were advised to have me sleep in the barn or have me sleep over at the home of a deaf elderly relative.

Around the seven-month mark, a telemarketer called our exhausted family to sell some kind of overpriced private health insurance.

My father picked up the phone and interrupted the sales spiel.

Father: “My baby has been crying twenty hours a day for the past seven months. She’s obviously in pain, and the doctors can’t find the cause or solve it and are still looking. You don’t want us as your customers.”

Telemarketer: “No, I totally understand. I hope I’m not overstepping, but have you tried a chiropractor? That could be KISS syndrome.”

My parents had not tried a chiropractor.

One week later, to the chiropractor I went.

That afternoon, my older brother — who didn’t know I had had any kind of appointment that day — looked at my parents in obvious concern.

Brother: “I think there’s something wrong with the baby. They’re never this quiet.”

My parents didn’t buy from the telemarketer, and they don’t remember her name. But we are all very glad a salesperson called us that day.

[florida80]

Time To Put This Working Relationship Behind You
BAD BEHAVIOR, CANADA, COWORKERS, HEALTH & BODY, OFFICE, VANCOUVER | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 7, 2020
I was in a work-related accident years ago and have a recurring neck issue. During one flareup, I head to our first aid person to note the pain in case I have to leave early from work or go to the doctor.

First Aid: “Where does it hurt?”

I point at the back of my neck and she stands behind me, poking at the spot.

First Aid: “We could try a realignment.”

Me: “No. No, thank you. This is recurring and I just need it noted. I’ll see my doctor if it gets worse.”

First Aid: “But we could just—”

Me: “No. I don’t need treatment. Just please note it.”

She starts massaging the area and pulling me to her.

Me: “Look—”

She takes my head and turns it sharply, making my neck audibly snap.

Me: “What the f***?!”

I stumbled forward away from her, suddenly lightheaded. I walked away, not looking back, furious that she snapped my neck without permission. She’s not allowed behind me ever again.

[florida80]

You Need Thick Skin To Deal With These Thick Skulls
BIZARRE, CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, EMERGENCY ROOM, HOSPITAL, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, INDONESIA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 6, 2020
I’m the attending doctor at the ER. Earlier this morning, we treated a man who crashed his bike and got a pretty nasty bruise as well as a concussion. A CT scan showed a fractured bone so he’ll need surgery. He told us he’d be using insurance, so he “wants a full record of everything you guys find.”

Later that day, a woman comes into the ER and starts banging on our table.

Woman: “EXCUSE ME! WHICH ONE OF YOU TREATED [PATIENT]?!”

Me: “Yes ma’am. I’m Doctor [My Name]. How can I he—”

Woman: “ARE YOU WEARING UNDERWEAR?!”

As you can guess, everyone in the room stops whatever they’re doing.

Me: “Pardon?”

Woman: “YES, YOU! ARE YOU WEARING UNDERWEAR?”

Me: “I don’t see how it’s— Why, yes, of course. What seems to be the matter?”

Woman: “Are you really? So why is it not stated in your uniform? Or your nametag?”

Me: “What does it have to do with [Patient], may I ask?”

Woman: “How dare you write in the report that my husband was not wearing a helmet?! I’ve just got a call from my insurance company that they’ll not pay the surgery because you wrote that he wasn’t wearing a helmet!“

Nurse: “Well, ma’am, your husband did say he wanted a full report exactly because he wants to use insurance.”

Woman: *Turns to nurse* “Well, b****, are you wearing a bra?! Now if he asks for a full report, why didn’t you also write in whether he’s wearing underwear or not? That’s not full report, is it, b****?“

Me: “Because we’re writing down things that are medically relevant. The fact he’s not wearing a helmet is, because he came in with a—”

Woman: “I don’t care! Now you’re gonna pay for his surgery because my insurance won’t pay! And it’s your fault!“

Then she stormed out of the ER, but not before yelling loudly, “THE DOCTOR IS NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR!”

[florida80]

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 8
ASSISTED LIVING, ENGLAND, HEALTH & BODY, REVOLTING, UK, YORKSHIRE | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 5, 2020
I work in a specialist nursing home for people with severe and enduring mental health problems. A female resident with South East Asian origins enjoys cooking and offers to make traditional chai tea for staff, under supervision.

Whilst being assisted by a support worker whose English is not great, she adds more than fifty teaspoons of sugar to the pan, as well as spices and other ingredients.

Me: “This tea tastes really good!”

Those of us who don’t mind the sweetness enjoy it.

Then, the support worker tells a colleague about part of the cooking process.

Support Worker: “She just crushed the walnuts by crunching them in her mouth and then spitting them into the pan.”

She hadn’t realised that people would find this revolting!

We agreed that when she made it again, she needed to use appropriate equipment to do that task. Thankfully, the support worker saw the sense of this.

I was not too concerned about this, given how many motorway service stations I ate in during my childhood in the 1970s, where I probably ingested far worse!

[florida80]

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 7
COFFEE SHOP, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, JERK, UK | RIGHT | JULY 26, 2020
I work as a cafe barista on a UK campus. One morning, a customer who is infamous among the staff for being rude comes by and orders a latte. The transaction goes on normally, and she waits for her drink while I prepare it. When she collects her drink, she decides to add syrup to it.

Customer: “I want to add chai syrup to my drink.”

Me: “Sure thing, I just need to put the request through the till.”

Customer: “Okay, no problem; I can pay. How much is it?”

Me: “That will be 50p.”

Customer: “How much?”

Me: “50 pence.”

Customer: “No, I want four extra pumps of chai syrup. How much is that?”

Me: *In bewilderment* “It will cost you 50 pence.”

Customer: “No, I come here all the time! One, two, three, four! Do you understand?!”

I reply in a raised voice but trying my best not to shout.

Me: “Yeah, it’s gonna cost 50p!”

This goes on for a while. Luckily, it’s a quiet morning so there aren’t any other customers around. Finally, she takes out her card and asks one last time.

Customer: “Fine, I just want my drink! How much is it?!”

Me: *Pause* “It’s 50p.”

I add the syrup and give her the drink. By this time, my colleague has heard the commotion and arrived to hear her parting shot.

Customer: “You don’t speak English, by any chance?”

After the customer has left:

Colleague: “How did you not hit her?!”

I am not from the UK and don’t have a local accent, but English is my native language and I haven’t had a single problem communicating with anybody while in the UK. The customer is also not local, most probably from an Eastern European country based on her accent.

[florida80]

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 6
COFFEE SHOP, EMPLOYEES, MISSOURI, STUPID, USA | WORKING | MAY 23, 2018
(My husband and I stop at a drive-thru coffee shop for drinks. I don’t drink coffee, but I love this shop’s chai lattes, so I ask for one.)

Husband: “Can we have a medium, decaf, chai vanilla latte and a small peppermint mocha?”

Worker: “Sure! That will be [price] at the window!”

(We pull forward, pay, get our drinks, and pull off. I take my first sip and taste nothing but coffee.)

Me: “This has coffee in it.”

Husband: “What? I’m sorry. Why would they put coffee in it?”

Me: “Maybe because you said, ‘latte’? I mean, that’s what it’s called, but maybe that confused her?”

(We drive back through and pull up to the window.)

Worker: *looking confused* “Can I help you?”

Me: “There was coffee in my chai.”

Worker: “Yeah. You asked for a decaf chai. Decaf means coffee, so I thought you wanted decaf espresso in it.”

Me: “No… I hate coffee. Chai is black tea which has caffeine, so I just wanted that decaf.”

Worker: “So… that’s just regular chai.”

Me: “Yes, but without caffeine?”

Worker: *still seeming confused* “So… just a regular chai?”

Me: *giving up* “Please just give me a vanilla chai, no coffee.”

(To her credit, she did upgrade me to a large, and there was no coffee in my second order. But how do you work at a coffee shop and not know that tea has caffeine?)

[florida80]

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 5
COFFEE SHOP | WORKING | APRIL 28, 2016
(I live in an area where tiny, locally owned coffee shacks are incredibly common. Darn near every establishment has one in their parking lot or built into their business one way or another. Unfortunately, this does not guarantee that whatever barista you’re ordering from knows what they are doing, so I’ve learned to ask what more experienced coffee buyers would consider no-brainer questions. Sometimes I’m still painfully disappointed. This particular shop is part of a flower shop that also hosts the weekly farmer’s market, and I stop in to get drinks while at the market to reduce my number of stops that afternoon.)

Me: “Okay, we’ll do a small hot chocolate, but for a kid so not so hot. A large quad mocha. And I see you have chai, is that in a latte or black?”

Barista: “Oh, no, sweetie. Chai is actually a kind of tea and doesn’t have coffee in it!”

Me: *taken aback slightly because while I’m not old, I’m definitely not young enough to be called “sweetie” by the early 20s barista* “I know it’s tea. I just want to know if you serve it in a latte or black?”

Barista: “I don’t get it. Are you wanting me to add a shot of coffee and make it a latte?”

Me: *confused, starting to catch on to where this is going* “Latte means it has milk in it…”

Barista: *suddenly extremely condescending* “No, it means COFFEE. Like a mocha latte is a coffee drink.”

Me: “Actually latte comes from same root word as lactose. It means it’s a drink with milk in it.”

Barista: “Well I don’t know how to tell you this, but latte means it’s a coffee drink. But, yes, our chai comes with milk in it, and I can add coffee if that’s what you want, but it’s 70 cents per shot…”

Me: *finally snapping after having a bad day, I turn and start toward the door while trying to remain as cold as possible* “You know what? I changed my mind about getting my coffee here. I’ll just go now.”

Barista: *sarcastically* “Wait! Don’t go! I was learning SO much from you!”

(While I heard she didn’t last long, I haven’t had the heart to go back there even for flowers after that exchange.)

[florida80]

When The Disability Comes From Others
OFFICE | WORKING | APRIL 29, 2016
(Our team has recently been majorly shaken up with changes. It’s also worth noting I have a number of health conditions which require me to have a desk I can sit and stand at interchangeably, I also start later in the morning (9:30) and have done for several years. I’ve been pulled into a meeting with the new manager.)

Manager: “So, I don’t see you fitting in. You’re not ‘living the team.’”

Me: “I’m sorry, what? I don’t know what you mean.”

Manager: “Well, you refuse to sit with the team.”

Me: “Yes, because I have to have a sit/stand desk. It’s an OHS requirement due to my back injury.”

Manager: “And what? That desk doesn’t exist where the team sits?”

Me: “There is one but it’s up against another desk. It’s incredibly claustrophobic to work at.”

Manager: “So, basically you refuse to sit at desks with others and insist on sitting separately.”

Me: “That’s not what I said! My desk is no more than 10m away and I regularly come over. I’m working within HR’s requirements.”

Manager: “I just don’t see you interacting. You’re not part of the team and you come in late everyday!”

Me: “You are aware I’ve had a verbal agreement with all my managers to start at 9:30 for the last four years?”

Manager: “No.”

Me: “Well, I do. My health issues are the worst in the morning so I need that extra time to get here. Are there any other reasons you think I’m not fitting in?”

Manager: “I don’t have to provide you with a list! You’re not fitting in and we need to move you to a team that can work with your limitations.”

(And that is how I realized my new boss is against people with disabilities and began looking for a new job!

[florida80]

Could Have Survived That Better
PHARMACY | WORKING | APRIL 30, 2016
(I work with a small mom and pop pharmacy for several years. Due to budget cuts it is necessary to layoff an employee. After discussing our options the owner decides to fire a technician who, though friendly, is relatively lazy. This is when Survivor first debuted.)

Boss: “So, [Coworker], you’ve been voted off the island.”

Coworker: “…”

Me: “…”

[florida80]

10 Stories About Customers Who Will Do Anything For A Discount
ROUNDUPS | RIGHT | OCTOBER 21, 2020
Dear readers,

Getting a discount is great! Times are tough and every penny counts, but when you demand a discount to the point that the customers in this roundup go to, you can’t help but feel sorry for the poor employees!

The following ten stories are about customers whose demands for discount range from entitled to moronic!



My, Aren’t We Feeling Entitled Today? – No, you don’t get a discount because you were wrong.

An Abundance Of Nuttiness, Part 3 – Lighter on the brains, heavy on the nuts.

Toothless Accusations – More than likely, you help pay for the dentist’s student loans.


I Think She Wants A Discount – Hits from the comments: “That is a Pokémon no one would want.”

The Lady Doth Go For Broke, Methinks – This is the worst kind of magic coupon.

Flaky To The 9th Degree – Nein, nein, NEIN!

Cute But Not Astute – It’s a well-known fact that Dakota Fanning never pays for anything.

Massive Fan But Sadly Not A Breeze – Baby, baby, baby… no.

Scamming In Plain Sight – You could have had it all.

Should Have Paid Attention In School – “Well, you should fix the Internet, then!” If that doesn’t sum up this website…

[florida80]

Where The Sun Don’t Shine, Bungholio
PATIENTS, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 12, 2009
Customer: “These things don’t work! They are hard to swallow and I nearly choked to death.”

Me: “Ma’am, they are suppositories. You don’t swallow them; you insert them rectally.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “You unwrap them and insert them in your rectum.”

Customer: “What’s my rectum?”

Me: “Ma’am, please forgive me, but your rectum is your butthole.”

Customer: “Well, up yours, too!” *stalks off*

(This is not the first time someone misunderstood when we explained how to use a suppository. It’s the only time we can tell a patient, “Up yours,” and get away with it!)

[florida80]

Super Absorbent For Those Mentally Heavy Days
EDITORS' CHOICE, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 23, 2009
(An elderly man calls up to the store.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Pharmacy]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, my granddaughter came to visit me, and she bought me a birthday gift. It’s on the kitchen table, but I’m not sure what it is.”

Me: “Okay, well, what can you tell me about the product?”

Customer: “Well, the box says ‘K-O-T-E-X’. Can you tell me what that is, honey? What it’s used for? I just can’t figure it out.”

Me: Well, sir… that’s a feminine hygiene product.”

Customer: “Feminine hygiene? What’s the product for? I just can’t figure it out.”

Me: “Sir… it’s for women on their period.”

Customer: “Why would my granddaughter buy me Kotex?”

Me: “I don’t know, sir. Maybe you should ask her that.”

Customer: “So can I still use them to stir my Kool-Aid with? Because that’s what I’ve been using them for.”

[florida80]

Yeah, Definitely Contraindicated
DRUGS, EDITORS' CHOICE, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 21, 2009
(A patient walks up to the pick-up window looking like he just came from the emergency room.)

Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I wanna drop this off…” *hands me an ER prescription*

Me: “Sir, this is the pick-up window. You need to drop off the prescription at the drop off window.”

Customer: “Where’s that?”

Me: “The counter at the entrance to the room with the big sign that says “Drop Off Window’.”

Customer: “Where?”

Me: “You know, you already waited in line so I’ll just take the prescription here. Have you ever had any medication here before?”

Customer: “I don’t know; have I?”

Me: “I’ll take that as a no. Do you have any allergies to medication?”

Customer: “Well, when I mix heroin and battery acid, I get a rash.”

Me: “…I’ll make a note on that

[florida80]

Bilingual Secret Shame
PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 20, 2009
Customer: “Excuse me, what are diaper couches?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Diaper couches.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not sure what you mean.”

Customer: *points to the boxes of diapers* “That box! It says ‘diaper couches’.”

Me: *suddenly understanding* “Ma’am, that box says diapers, and then it says ‘couches’. That’s the French word for diapers.”

Customer: *looks around, then whispers* “Don’t tell anyone!” *leaves*

[florida80]

Rip Van Winkle To The Extreme
IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 2, 2009
Customer: “Hi, I have a rather simple question to ask you.”

Me: “Sure thing. What can I help you with?”

Customer: “Hypothetically speaking, if I wanted to make someone sleep for a really long time, what would I use?”

Me: “Um, just how long are you talking?”

Customer: “Well, I was thinking somewhere around forever.”

Me: “…”

[florida80]

How To Seize The Moment
HEALTH & BODY, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, OHIO, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MARCH 8, 2010
(An elderly woman is having a seizure and obviously 911 has been called to the scene.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but when can I get my prescription?”

Me: “Ma’am, this woman is having a seizure and needs medical attention right away.”

Customer: “But I was here before her!”

[florida80]

This One’s A No-Brainer
AUSTRALIA, NEW SOUTH WALES, PHARMACY, SYDNEY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 13, 2010
Customer: “My mother is taking some medication and it is making her sick. Can you stop giving it to her?”

Me: “I’ll have to ask the pharmacist for you. What medication is it?”

Customer: “It’s a little white pill.”

Me: “You don’t know the name of it, sir? We do have many white pills in the pharmacy.”

Customer: “I think it’s for her heart… or her brain.”

[florida80]

Noah Already Had Two Customers On The Ark
PHARMACY, STUPID, WEATHER | RIGHT | OCTOBER 26, 2009
(Much of our area is suffering from massive flooding. A man walks into our chain pharmacy, completely drenched from the chest down.)

Me: “Wow, what happened to you?”

Customer: “I tried to go to your other location and it was closed!”

Me: “That location is flooded, sir. There’s about four feet of water surrounding it.”

Customer: “I know! I had to wade all the way up to the door before I found out it was closed! How do you think I got so wet?”

[florida80]

Not A Case Of If, But When…
ALCOHOL, PARTY, PHARMACY, POLICE, TEENAGERS | RIGHT | AUGUST 20, 2009
(While waiting in line, I overhear a conversation between a teenager and a police officer, both of whom are also waiting. The boy has red plastic cups and ping pong balls in hand.)

Officer: “Can I ask what those are for?”

Teenage Customer: “No, no questions.”

Officer: “Where’s the party?”

Teenage Customer: “No parties.”

(The kid checks out, and as he’s walking out the door yells “SODA PONG!” and flicks his wrist.)

Officer: *to me* “Yeah, I’ll get the call in a couple of hours.”

[florida80]

Hard Drugs And Harder Pharmacists
CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, EDITORS' CHOICE, NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY, PHYSICAL, USA | RIGHT | JULY 31, 2009
(A teen approaches my cash register very slowly.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Give me all the f****** medicine!”

(The teen pulls out an airsoft pistol with orange tip still glued to the front.)

Me: “The pharmacy is in the back of the store.”

Customer: “Oh… okay.”

(He holsters the airsoft gun in his belt and darts down the aisles to the back of the store. My manager comes out of the back room because of the commotion.)

Manager: “Who was that?”

Me: “Some kid looking for drugs. He went back to the pharmacy.”

Manager: “Why didn’t you call the police?”

(The teen runs screaming from the back of the store, out of the front door, followed closely by the pharmacy technician, a 35-year-old boxer built like a fridge.)

Me: “Doug started working today.”

[florida80]

The Truth Is A Bitter Pill To Swallow
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 25, 2010
Customer: “Why isn’t my prescription ready yet?”

Me: “We’re trying to get in contact with your doctor because of a problem with the prescription. Your profile says you’re allergic to penicillin. Is that correct?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, that stuff is really bad for me!”

Me: “The medication your doctor prescribed has penicillin in it, so we’re trying to get a hold of him to find out what he wants you to take.”

Customer: “Oh, well, he wants me to take the penicillin. That’s what he wrote down, right?”

Me: “Yes, but you said you were allergic to it.”

Customer: “But he’s a doctor, so he knows what’s best. If that’s what he wrote, then just give me that.”

Me: “Well, we’ll check with him first to make sure that it’s safe for you.”

Customer: “Of course it’s safe for me or the doctor wouldn’t have prescribed it! He probably just cured my allergies. Check my old prescriptions; I bet he prescribed me something to cure my allergy!”

[florida80]

High School Dropouts Work On The Pharm
BAD BEHAVIOR, BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | JUNE 12, 2010
(I work as a pharmacy tech at a chain pharmacy. I am also currently in pharmacy school and will be a pharmacist one day.)

Customer: “You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Me: “I’m sorry. Can I help you with something?”

Customer: “No! I refuse to be helped by a high school dropout! You should be ashamed of yourself for working where children can see you! You are going to make them think that it is okay to not have an education!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am not a high school dropout. I have a high school diploma and I am currently in pharmacy school working towards a Doctor of Pharmacy. I am going to be a pharmacist one day.”

Customer: “Stop lying! I have never heard of a pharmacist before. You are a high school dropout!”

Manager: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes! Your employee is lying to me! She says she is going to be a pharmacist! That job doesn’t exist!”

(The manager looks at our pharmacist who is near tears from laughing so hard.)

Manager: “Ma’am, see the man over there? He’s the one who filled your prescription. He is a pharmacist.”

Customer: “No, he isn’t! He just counts pills! You don’t need school for that!”

[florida80]

Health Care(less)
HEALTH & BODY, MONEY, PHARMACY, SOUTH CAROLINA, USA | RIGHT | MAY 19, 2010
Me: “That will be $43.78, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, no, it won’t.”

Me: “I’m sorry, did you have insurance? You weren’t in the system. Do you have your card on you?”

Customer: “No, I don’t have insurance. Obama said health care is free.”

Me: “I don’t think that’s how it works, ma’am.”

[florida80]

There’s No Pills Like Home, Part 2
HEALTH & BODY, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | APRIL 19, 2010
(My phone number is one number off a nearby pharmacy. We get a lot of misdials. My father happens to actually be a pharmacist but he doesn’t work there.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hello? You just say, ‘Hello’? How dare you be so rude! You should say, ‘Thank you for calling’!”

Me: “Oh, you must be looking for [Pharmacy]. You have the wrong number.”

Caller: “Liar! How would you know what store I’m looking for? You’re just trying not to get in trouble. Give me your manager.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t have a manager. You’ve called a private residence. The number for the pharmacy is close to our number, so we get a lot of wrong calls.”

Caller: “This is outrageous! Give me your manager! I will not be treated this way!”

(The caller is rambling and being rude so I hang up the phone. She calls back, and my father answers it.)

Father: “Hello?”

Caller: “Is this the manager? Thank God! I want to know if [drug] can be taken with food! And you should fire that girl that answered before; she was very rude to me! I want to file a complaint!”

Father: “Ma’am, this is not the grocery store pharmacy. You just told off my 14-year-old daughter. I happen to be a pharmacist. That drug does not need to be taken with food. However, you should see a doctor about your ears, as you clearly can’t hear a word anyone says.”

[florida80]

Seriously Bad Hair Day
AUSTRALIA, MELBOURNE, PHARMACY, TIME, VICTORIA | RIGHT | MARCH 11, 2010
(It’s 10 pm. We are in the final motions of locking up: registers closed and lights off. I’m just locking the door.)

Customer: *runs up in a panic* “Oh, no! You are closed? It’s an emergency! I really need to buy one thing!”

Me: “Sorry, we’re closed. Maybe you could come back in the morning.”

Customer: “No! I can’t wait that long-this is an emergency! Please help me!”

Me: “Okay, I suppose I can help you quickly for an emergency. Do you need antibiotics or paracetamol or something?”

Customer: “I need a packet of hair pins!”

[florida80]

Feeling Pooped
HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, REVOLTING, SPOUSES & PARTNERS, USA, WISCONSIN | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 12, 2010
(A couple approaches the counter.)

Me: “Can I help?”

Customer: “Yes, can you give me advice about his stool?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t give medical advice. Perhaps you’d like to speak to our pharmacist, or consult your doctor?”

Customer: “No, I’m sure they’re very busy. I just want someone to tell me if it’s normal.”

Me: “The law says I can’t give advice. Let me get the pharmacist.”

Customer: “No, really, I have some here.” *whips out a clear bag of poo on the counter* “See, it’s all gritty. That’s not normal, is it? Do you have pills for that?”

Me: “Ma’am, you might want to take that to your doctor. We can’t accept biological waste.”

Customer: *to her husband* “See, Joe, I told you it was wrong. That’s why I save them.”

[florida80]

Rectify The Situation
HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, UK, WORDPLAY | RIGHT | AUGUST 12, 2010
Customer: “Hi there, do you sell rectums?”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “Rectums. I need a rectum. Do you sell them?”

Me: “Why do you need it?”

Customer: “I have some tablets here and it says ‘insert via rectum’ and as I don’t have one, I thought I better buy one.”

Me: “I think I better call the pharmacist in.”

(I called the pharmacist in who explained to the man exactly what a rectum is. He left, red-faced.)

[florida80]

Don’t Hold Your Breath For This One
COLORADO, DRUGS, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | JULY 16, 2010
(I am counseling a patient on using an inhaler.)

Me: “Do you know how to use an inhaler, sir?”

Patient: “Nope, never used one.”

Me: “Okay, you’ll want to begin inhaling, and then depress the inhaler as you are breathing in. Then, hold your breath for as long as possible to allow the medication to be absorbed into your lungs.”

Patient: “Oh, sort of like smoking pot…”

[florida80]

Hollywood, M.D.
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, HEALTH & BODY, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 1, 2010
(A customer comes to the counter with a bleeding hand.)

Customer: “Have you got a first aid kit back there? I caught my hand and it’s bleeding.”

Me: “Of course. I’ll go get it.”

(I come back with the kit and take out some antibiotic ointment and some bandages.)

Customer: “Oh, I shouldn’t need the bandages.”

Me: “Are you sure? It’s bleeding quite a lot.”

Customer: “Well, that ointment will just fix it, won’t it?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “That stuff you’ve got in your hand; that’ll just heal it up, right?”

Me: “This helps it heal faster and prevents it from getting infected, but it doesn’t heal it immediately.”

Customer: “Don’t you have the stuff that just fixes it right away?”

Me: “I don’t believe they have anything that does that, ma’am.”

Customer: “They do, I saw it before!”

Me: “Where did you see it?”

Customer: “I saw it on some movie. I don’t want that stuff there. I want the stuff I saw in the movie. Just get that stuff and fix this already, will you?”

[florida80]

Medication Frustration
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, STUPID | RIGHT | JUNE 28, 2010
Customer: “I’m picking up a prescription for [Name].”

Me: “Okay. Just a second.”

(I check the drawer for the prescription and can’t find it.)

Me: “When did you order it?”

Customer: “Well, I saw the doctor on Monday.”

Me: “So you came in on Monday?”

Customer: “No, I went to the doctor’s on Monday.”

Me: “Okay, so when did you drop your prescription off?”

Customer: “What do you mean? I went to the doctor.”

Me: “And did he give you a piece of paper that said what drugs you needed?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “That’s a prescription. You need to bring it here so that we know what you need.”

Customer: “But I saw the doctor on Monday! Why didn’t he do it?”

Me: “That’s not his job. That’s what pharmacists are for.”

Customer: “So, what, he’s a doctor but he’s not a pharmacist? Look, I saw him on Monday so he probably just did it then. You’re just not looking hard enough. Look for the things done on Monday!”

[florida80]

Ear-Waxing Lyrical About Bad Service
BAD BEHAVIOR, ENGLAND, FUNNY, HEALTH & BODY, LONDON, PHARMACY, UK | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 1, 2010
Customer: “I’ve come to pick up my prescription.”

Me: “Oh, I’m really sorry. Due to extenuating circumstances we don’t have a pharmacist at the moment so legally I can’t give out any prescriptions. But if you wait five minutes, a replacement pharmacist will be here and then you can take it.”

Customer: “But I need it. Give it to me!”

Me: “I understand your problem but I would be breaking the law if I gave it to you.”

Customer: “I work in the pharmaceutical industry and I know for a fact you are lying! Give it to me now!”

(The pharmacist arrives and I explain the problem.)

Pharmacist: “I’m really sorry for the inconvenience but my colleague was right, There was nothing she could do. But now that I’m here, you can take your prescription.”

Customer: “Your colleague is a cruel, moral-less b**** with the intelligence of a moron. She has endangered my life! I shall take this to court and win!” *storms out*

Me: *to pharmacist* “What was in her prescription?”

Pharmacist: “Drops for excessive ear wax.”

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Retired & Extremely Dangerous
BAD BEHAVIOR, GEORGIA, PHARMACY, RUDE & RISQUE, USA | RIGHT | OCTOBER 18, 2010
Me: “Thank you for calling [Pharmacy]. May I help you?”

Elderly Female Customer: “I would like to get these two of my medications refilled and I want to pick them up tomorrow afternoon.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, that will be fine. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Elderly Female Customer: “Honey, you can come to my house and do me anytime.”

Me: “I, uh, oh, uh…”

Elderly Female Customer: “I hope I didn’t offend you, but I’m old so I can say things like that!”

[florida80]

Discount Discounted
AT THE CHECKOUT, CALIFORNIA, JERK, MONEY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 29, 2010
Me: “And do you have a free rewards card with us, ma’am?”

Customer: “A what? I don’t know. Maybe. I don’t know.”

Me: “If you think you have one, I can look it up by your phone number?

Customer: “My what?”

Me: *louder* “Your phone number, ma’am.”

Customer: “I don’t have one of those! I don’t think I have one! I don’t have a phone number! I don’t have one!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, that’s fine. Your total today is $26.74, and just to let you know, you could have saved $5.90 if you had the rewards card.”

Customer: “A discount? My phone number is [number]!”

[florida80]

Will Power On Aisle 2
CANADA, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 28, 2010
Teenage Girl: “Do you guys sell that contraceptive ‘abstinence’?”

Me: “Abstinence?”

Teenage Girl: “Yeah! Abstinence! I read that it’s the only 100% way to not get pregnant!”

Me: “That’s right. But, abstinence is to not have sex, like, abstain from.”

Teenage Girl: “Well, that just sucks!”

[florida80]

Misunderstood “Total Coverage”
INSURANCE, MICHIGAN, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 17, 2010
Me: “Our records show you’ve never had a prescription filled here before, so I’ll need an ID and your insurance.”

Customer: “Here’s my ID. I don’t have my insurance on me, but it’s through [Car Insurance Company].”

Me: “Sir, I think that’s your car insurance. Do you have health insurance?”

Customer: “You mean there’s more than one kind?”

[florida80]

So Mummy Can Have Birds Without The Bees
CHILDREN, PHARMACY, UK | RIGHT | JANUARY 30, 2011
(I am a customer in line at a pharmacy. A mother and her two young boys are ahead of me. One of the young boys is sitting on the floor pointing at random medicines.)

Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

Mother: “That’s for an itchy head.”

Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

Mother: “That’s for when you can’t sleep.”

(The boy then points at the pregnancy tests.)

Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

Mother: “That’s to see if you have a baby growing inside of you!”

(The boy then stands up and gets back in line with his mother.)

Mother: *to me and the pharmacist* “Thank god he didn’t point at the condoms!”

[florida80]

Two Pillows On The Couch, Once Daily
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, EDITORS' CHOICE, FUNNY, PHARMACY, SPOUSES & PARTNERS | RIGHT | JANUARY 26, 2011
(I need to make a new profile for the customer’s wife on our computer system, so the customer calls his wife.)

Customer: *to wife* “Hello? What’s your card number? It’s for the prescription.”

(The customer relays the card number to me. I ask for her birthday.)

Customer: *to wife* “When’s your birthday? No, of course I remember. It’s December 7th!”

(I hear his wife cry out loudly over the phone.)

Customer: *to wife* “What? It’s September 22nd?!”

(The customer ends the conversation and hangs up the phone.)

Me: “Are you going to be all right when you go back?”

Customer: “You should warn me next time you have to ask for her birthday.”

[florida80]

Identity Theft Is Childs Play
AT THE CHECKOUT, CHILDREN, IOWA, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | JANUARY 14, 2011
(I am a customer in line. There is a woman with a four-year-old finishing up their purchase.)

Me: “Here’s your change.”

Four-Year-Old: “Mommy, can I do the scribbles?”

Customer: “No, honey. I paid with cash, not my credit card.”

[florida80]

Looking Down The Barrel Of A Smoking Gum
HEALTH & BODY, MADISON, OVERHEARD, PHARMACY, USA, WISCONSIN | RIGHT | JANUARY 3, 2011
(I hear this conversation in my checkout line.)

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Oh, my God, I love that nicotine gum! It makes my mouth feel all numb.”

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “You know that stuff’s going to get you addicted to cigarettes, right?”

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Nah! That stuff gets you un-addicted to them and I don’t smoke. I’m fine!”

[florida80]

Children Get Sick Periodically
FAMILY & KIDS, FUNNY, HEALTH & BODY, NEW YORK, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, PHARMACY, REVOLTING, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 19, 2010
(A woman walks into the store with her young daughter. Her daughter looks feverish and is sniffling.)

Customer: “Oh, look, honey. They have candy bars. Go get yourself one while mommy shops for her things.”

(The little girl walks up to the counter and takes a candy bar.)

Me: “Are you feeling okay, little girl?”

Daughter: “My mommy says as long as she gets her tampons, I’ll feel better.”

(The girl suddenly vomits all over the candy bars and on the counter.)

[florida80]

Recipe For Disaster
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 14, 2011
(A customer comes up to the pharmacy counter. Keep in mind, Sudafed (pseudoephedrine) is controlled in all 50 states as it is used to make methamphetamine.)

Customer: “I need some Sudafed.”

Me: “Did you want Sudafed or [store brand]?”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “The active ingredient is the same but sometimes they change the inactive ingredients. It still works the same though. Plus, [store brand] is about 5 bucks cheaper.”

Customer: “The recipe said I need Sudafed.”

Me: “…”

Customer: *realizing what she said* “Um, s***. Never mind, I got to go.”

[florida80]

Zombies Need Lawyers Too
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 17, 2011
Me: “Ma’am, unfortunately we are waiting on your prescriber to contact the pharmacy because parts of your prescription were unclear.”

Customer: “Are you telling me my prescription is not ready?”

Me: “Yes, it is not ready.”

Customer: “Well, if I die, I’m suing you!”

[florida80]

The Purchase Was A Pre-Medicated Decision
BAD BEHAVIOR, ILLINOIS, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MAY 23, 2011
(I am closing the pharmacy curtain. A customer comes up to the counter.)

Customer: “I need to pick up my prescription for my pain medication. I’m in a lot of pain.”

Me: “Okay. Just for future reference, the pharmacy closes at 9 pm.”

Customer: “I know. I was too busy getting an iPhone to get here while you were open.”

[florida80]

This Medicine Doesn’t Really Hit The Spot
HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, REVOLTING, RUDE & RISQUE, TEXAS, USA | RIGHT | APRIL 10, 2011
Me: “Thank you for calling [pharmacy]. What can I help you with?

Caller: “I just bought some [acne medication]. I was wondering if you could, uh… use it on herpes?”

Me: “On herpes? [Acne medication] is a treatment for acne only.”

Caller: “So can I put it on my junk or not?”

[florida80]

This Customer Has Trouble Written All Over Him
FUNNY, HEALTH & BODY, LIARS/SCAMMERS, NEW YORK, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | APRIL 3, 2011
Customer: “I’d like to buy some syringes.”

Me: “Can I see some ID?”

Customer: “They’re not for me, they’re for my dad. He’s a diabetic and needs them for his insulin.”

Me: “Okay. I still need to see some ID. Do you know his date of birth?”

Customer: “I’ll never forget his date of birth. I had it tattooed on my arm the day he died.”

(The customer proceeds to show everyone in the pharmacy the tattoo of his deceased father’s DOB–the same father that he is trying to buy syringes for.)

[florida80]

Hard Drugs And Harder Pharmacists
CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, EDITORS' CHOICE, NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY, PHYSICAL, USA | RIGHT | JULY 31, 2009
(A teen approaches my cash register very slowly.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Give me all the f****** medicine!”

(The teen pulls out an airsoft pistol with orange tip still glued to the front.)

Me: “The pharmacy is in the back of the store.”

Customer: “Oh… okay.”

(He holsters the airsoft gun in his belt and darts down the aisles to the back of the store. My manager comes out of the back room because of the commotion.)

Manager: “Who was that?”

Me: “Some kid looking for drugs. He went back to the pharmacy.”

Manager: “Why didn’t you call the police?”

(The teen runs screaming from the back of the store, out of the front door, followed closely by the pharmacy technician, a 35-year-old boxer built like a fridge.)

Me: “Doug started working today.”

[florida80]

There’s No Pills Like Home
EDITORS' CHOICE, PHARMACY, STUPID | RIGHT | JULY 17, 2009
(A patient called in to inquire about the medication she has just picked up.)

Me: *on the phone* “Pharmacy.”

Patient: “Hi, I just picked up this medication, and I think I may have a problem.”

Me: “Is there something incorrect with how it was filled?”

Patient: “No, it’s just that the cream here says to apply locally, and I’m going out of town tonight. I was wondering if I could still use it.”

Me: “Um… yes. Yes, you can.”

Patient: “Oh, okay, good… Oh… Oh, God. I just realized… Oh, my God, just forget I asked! How stupid of me

[florida80]

On The Bright Side, There Are Worse Orifices
HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, STUPID | HEALTHY RIGHT | JULY 15, 2009
Me: “[Pharmacy], how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, your medicine is defective.”

Me: “Sir, why don’t I get your information so I can take a look at your profile.”

Customer: *gives his name and date of birth*

Me: “I see that the last prescriptions you filled were antibiotic and drops for your ear infection. Are your symptoms still bothering you?”

Customer: “Yes, and how the h*** do you expect me to fit this giant pill in my ear?”

Me: “Sir, that’s an antibiotic tablet. It’s meant to be taken orally.”

[florida80]

TMI Mom Tries To Help
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 6, 2009
(A forty-something year old woman comes to the counter with her purchases. Amongst them is a box of condoms, which have security stickers on them. Before I scan the item, I swipe it a few times over the scanner to deactivate it.)

Customer: “Is it not scanning?”

Me: “No, I’m just deactivating the security sticker. I don’t want you to set off the alarm on the way out. Especially over condoms!”

Customer: “Oh I’m not embarrassed! They’re not for me, they’re for my son. I can’t even get an erection!”

[florida80]

Script Stupidity
HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, STUPID | RIGHT | MAY 28, 2009
Customer: *holds up two bottles* “What’s the difference between these two medicines?”

Me: “The one on the left is a capsule; the one on the right is a tablet.”

Customer: “I mean, which one would be better?”

Me: “They’re exactly the same medicine, just in different forms. Most people buy whichever one is easier for them to swallow.”

Customer: “That’s just stupid! How can you swallow a bottle?”

[florida80]

Seriously Bad Hair Day
AUSTRALIA, MELBOURNE, PHARMACY, TIME, VICTORIA | RIGHT | MARCH 11, 2010
(It’s 10 pm. We are in the final motions of locking up: registers closed and lights off. I’m just locking the door.)

Customer: *runs up in a panic* “Oh, no! You are closed? It’s an emergency! I really need to buy one thing!”

Me: “Sorry, we’re closed. Maybe you could come back in the morning.”

Customer: “No! I can’t wait that long-this is an emergency! Please help me!”

Me: “Okay, I suppose I can help you quickly for an emergency. Do you need antibiotics or paracetamol or something?”

Customer: “I need a packet of hair pins!”

[florida80]

How To Seize The Moment
HEALTH & BODY, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, OHIO, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MARCH 8, 2010
(An elderly woman is having a seizure and obviously 911 has been called to the scene.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but when can I get my prescription?”

Me: “Ma’am, this woman is having a seizure and needs medical attention right away.”

Customer: “But I was here before her!”

[florida80]

This One’s A No-Brainer
AUSTRALIA, NEW SOUTH WALES, PHARMACY, SYDNEY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 13, 2010
Customer: “My mother is taking some medication and it is making her sick. Can you stop giving it to her?”

Me: “I’ll have to ask the pharmacist for you. What medication is it?”

Customer: “It’s a little white pill.”

Me: “You don’t know the name of it, sir? We do have many white pills in the pharmacy.”

Customer: “I think it’s for her heart… or her brain.”

[florida80]

Noah Already Had Two Customers On The Ark
PHARMACY, STUPID, WEATHER | RIGHT | OCTOBER 26, 2009
(Much of our area is suffering from massive flooding. A man walks into our chain pharmacy, completely drenched from the chest down.)

Me: “Wow, what happened to you?”

Customer: “I tried to go to your other location and it was closed!”

Me: “That location is flooded, sir. There’s about four feet of water surrounding it.”

Customer: “I know! I had to wade all the way up to the door before I found out it was closed! How do you think I got so wet?”

[florida80]

Not A Case Of If, But When…
ALCOHOL, PARTY, PHARMACY, POLICE, TEENAGERS | RIGHT | AUGUST 20, 2009
(While waiting in line, I overhear a conversation between a teenager and a police officer, both of whom are also waiting. The boy has red plastic cups and ping pong balls in hand.)

Officer: “Can I ask what those are for?”

Teenage Customer: “No, no questions.”

Officer: “Where’s the party?”

Teenage Customer: “No parties.”

(The kid checks out, and as he’s walking out the door yells “SODA PONG!” and flicks his wrist.)

Officer: *to me* “Yeah, I’ll get the call in a couple of hours.”

[florida80]

Medication Frustration
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, STUPID | RIGHT | JUNE 28, 2010
Customer: “I’m picking up a prescription for [Name].”

Me: “Okay. Just a second.”

(I check the drawer for the prescription and can’t find it.)

Me: “When did you order it?”

Customer: “Well, I saw the doctor on Monday.”

Me: “So you came in on Monday?”

Customer: “No, I went to the doctor’s on Monday.”

Me: “Okay, so when did you drop your prescription off?”

Customer: “What do you mean? I went to the doctor.”

Me: “And did he give you a piece of paper that said what drugs you needed?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “That’s a prescription. You need to bring it here so that we know what you need.”

Customer: “But I saw the doctor on Monday! Why didn’t he do it?”

Me: “That’s not his job. That’s what pharmacists are for.”

Customer: “So, what, he’s a doctor but he’s not a pharmacist? Look, I saw him on Monday so he probably just did it then. You’re just not looking hard enough. Look for the things done on Monday!”

[florida80]

The Truth Is A Bitter Pill To Swallow
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 25, 2010
Customer: “Why isn’t my prescription ready yet?”

Me: “We’re trying to get in contact with your doctor because of a problem with the prescription. Your profile says you’re allergic to penicillin. Is that correct?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah, that stuff is really bad for me!”

Me: “The medication your doctor prescribed has penicillin in it, so we’re trying to get a hold of him to find out what he wants you to take.”

Customer: “Oh, well, he wants me to take the penicillin. That’s what he wrote down, right?”

Me: “Yes, but you said you were allergic to it.”

Customer: “But he’s a doctor, so he knows what’s best. If that’s what he wrote, then just give me that.”

Me: “Well, we’ll check with him first to make sure that it’s safe for you.”

Customer: “Of course it’s safe for me or the doctor wouldn’t have prescribed it! He probably just cured my allergies. Check my old prescriptions; I bet he prescribed me something to cure my allergy!

[florida80]

High School Dropouts Work On The Pharm
BAD BEHAVIOR, BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | JUNE 12, 2010
(I work as a pharmacy tech at a chain pharmacy. I am also currently in pharmacy school and will be a pharmacist one day.)

Customer: “You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Me: “I’m sorry. Can I help you with something?”

Customer: “No! I refuse to be helped by a high school dropout! You should be ashamed of yourself for working where children can see you! You are going to make them think that it is okay to not have an education!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am not a high school dropout. I have a high school diploma and I am currently in pharmacy school working towards a Doctor of Pharmacy. I am going to be a pharmacist one day.”

Customer: “Stop lying! I have never heard of a pharmacist before. You are a high school dropout!”

Manager: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes! Your employee is lying to me! She says she is going to be a pharmacist! That job doesn’t exist!”

(The manager looks at our pharmacist who is near tears from laughing so hard.)

Manager: “Ma’am, see the man over there? He’s the one who filled your prescription. He is a pharmacist.”

Customer: “No, he isn’t! He just counts pills! You don’t need school for that!”

[florida80]

Health Care(less)
HEALTH & BODY, MONEY, PHARMACY, SOUTH CAROLINA, USA | RIGHT | MAY 19, 2010
Me: “That will be $43.78, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, no, it won’t.”

Me: “I’m sorry, did you have insurance? You weren’t in the system. Do you have your card on you?”

Customer: “No, I don’t have insurance. Obama said health care is free.”

Me: “I don’t think that’s how it works, ma’am.”

[florida80]

There’s No Pills Like Home, Part 2
HEALTH & BODY, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | APRIL 19, 2010
(My phone number is one number off a nearby pharmacy. We get a lot of misdials. My father happens to actually be a pharmacist but he doesn’t work there.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hello? You just say, ‘Hello’? How dare you be so rude! You should say, ‘Thank you for calling’!”

Me: “Oh, you must be looking for [Pharmacy]. You have the wrong number.”

Caller: “Liar! How would you know what store I’m looking for? You’re just trying not to get in trouble. Give me your manager.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t have a manager. You’ve called a private residence. The number for the pharmacy is close to our number, so we get a lot of wrong calls.”

Caller: “This is outrageous! Give me your manager! I will not be treated this way!”

(The caller is rambling and being rude so I hang up the phone. She calls back, and my father answers it.)

Father: “Hello?”

Caller: “Is this the manager? Thank God! I want to know if [drug] can be taken with food! And you should fire that girl that answered before; she was very rude to me! I want to file a complaint!”

Father: “Ma’am, this is not the grocery store pharmacy. You just told off my 14-year-old daughter. I happen to be a pharmacist. That drug does not need to be taken with food. However, you should see a doctor about your ears, as you clearly can’t hear a word anyone says.”

[florida80]

Misunderstood “Total Coverage”
INSURANCE, MICHIGAN, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 17, 2010
Me: “Our records show you’ve never had a prescription filled here before, so I’ll need an ID and your insurance.”

Customer: “Here’s my ID. I don’t have my insurance on me, but it’s through [Car Insurance Company].”

Me: “Sir, I think that’s your car insurance. Do you have health insurance?”

Customer: “You mean there’s more than one kind?”

[florida80]

Feeling Pooped
HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, REVOLTING, SPOUSES & PARTNERS, USA, WISCONSIN | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 12, 2010
(A couple approaches the counter.)

Me: “Can I help?”

Customer: “Yes, can you give me advice about his stool?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t give medical advice. Perhaps you’d like to speak to our pharmacist, or consult your doctor?”

Customer: “No, I’m sure they’re very busy. I just want someone to tell me if it’s normal.”

Me: “The law says I can’t give advice. Let me get the pharmacist.”

Customer: “No, really, I have some here.” *whips out a clear bag of poo on the counter* “See, it’s all gritty. That’s not normal, is it? Do you have pills for that?”

Me: “Ma’am, you might want to take that to your doctor. We can’t accept biological waste.”

Customer: *to her husband* “See, Joe, I told you it was wrong. That’s why I save them.”

[florida80]

Rectify The Situation
HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, UK, WORDPLAY | RIGHT | AUGUST 12, 2010
Customer: “Hi there, do you sell rectums?”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “Rectums. I need a rectum. Do you sell them?”

Me: “Why do you need it?”

Customer: “I have some tablets here and it says ‘insert via rectum’ and as I don’t have one, I thought I better buy one.”

Me: “I think I better call the pharmacist in.”

(I called the pharmacist in who explained to the man exactly what a rectum is. He left, red-faced.)

[florida80]

Don’t Hold Your Breath For This One
COLORADO, DRUGS, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | JULY 16, 2010
(I am counseling a patient on using an inhaler.)

Me: “Do you know how to use an inhaler, sir?”

Patient: “Nope, never used one.”

Me: “Okay, you’ll want to begin inhaling, and then depress the inhaler as you are breathing in. Then, hold your breath for as long as possible to allow the medication to be absorbed into your lungs.”

Patient: “Oh, sort of like smoking pot…”

[florida80]

Hollywood, M.D.
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, HEALTH & BODY, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 1, 2010
(A customer comes to the counter with a bleeding hand.)

Customer: “Have you got a first aid kit back there? I caught my hand and it’s bleeding.”

Me: “Of course. I’ll go get it.”

(I come back with the kit and take out some antibiotic ointment and some bandages.)

Customer: “Oh, I shouldn’t need the bandages.”

Me: “Are you sure? It’s bleeding quite a lot.”

Customer: “Well, that ointment will just fix it, won’t it?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “That stuff you’ve got in your hand; that’ll just heal it up, right?”

Me: “This helps it heal faster and prevents it from getting infected, but it doesn’t heal it immediately.”

Customer: “Don’t you have the stuff that just fixes it right away?”

Me: “I don’t believe they have anything that does that, ma’am.”

Customer: “They do, I saw it before!”

Me: “Where did you see it?”

Customer: “I saw it on some movie. I don’t want that stuff there. I want the stuff I saw in the movie. Just get that stuff and fix this already, will you?”

[florida80]

The Purchase Was A Pre-Medicated Decision
BAD BEHAVIOR, ILLINOIS, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MAY 23, 2011
(I am closing the pharmacy curtain. A customer comes up to the counter.)

Customer: “I need to pick up my prescription for my pain medication. I’m in a lot of pain.”

Me: “Okay. Just for future reference, the pharmacy closes at 9 pm.”

Customer: “I know. I was too busy getting an iPhone to get here while you were open.”

[florida80]

This Medicine Doesn’t Really Hit The Spot
HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, REVOLTING, RUDE & RISQUE, TEXAS, USA | RIGHT | APRIL 10, 2011
Me: “Thank you for calling [pharmacy]. What can I help you with?

Caller: “I just bought some [acne medication]. I was wondering if you could, uh… use it on herpes?”

Me: “On herpes? [Acne medication] is a treatment for acne only.”

Caller: “So can I put it on my junk or not?”

[florida80]

This Customer Has Trouble Written All Over Him
FUNNY, HEALTH & BODY, LIARS/SCAMMERS, NEW YORK, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | APRIL 3, 2011
Customer: “I’d like to buy some syringes.”

Me: “Can I see some ID?”

Customer: “They’re not for me, they’re for my dad. He’s a diabetic and needs them for his insulin.”

Me: “Okay. I still need to see some ID. Do you know his date of birth?”

Customer: “I’ll never forget his date of birth. I had it tattooed on my arm the day he died.”

(The customer proceeds to show everyone in the pharmacy the tattoo of his deceased father’s DOB–the same father that he is trying to buy syringes for.)

[florida80]

So Mummy Can Have Birds Without The Bees
CHILDREN, PHARMACY, UK | RIGHT | JANUARY 30, 2011
(I am a customer in line at a pharmacy. A mother and her two young boys are ahead of me. One of the young boys is sitting on the floor pointing at random medicines.)

Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

Mother: “That’s for an itchy head.”

Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

Mother: “That’s for when you can’t sleep.”

(The boy then points at the pregnancy tests.)

Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

Mother: “That’s to see if you have a baby growing inside of you!”

(The boy then stands up and gets back in line with his mother.)

Mother: *to me and the pharmacist* “Thank god he didn’t point at the condoms!”

[florida80]

Two Pillows On The Couch, Once Daily
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, EDITORS' CHOICE, FUNNY, PHARMACY, SPOUSES & PARTNERS | RIGHT | JANUARY 26, 2011
(I need to make a new profile for the customer’s wife on our computer system, so the customer calls his wife.)

Customer: *to wife* “Hello? What’s your card number? It’s for the prescription.”

(The customer relays the card number to me. I ask for her birthday.)

Customer: *to wife* “When’s your birthday? No, of course I remember. It’s December 7th!”

(I hear his wife cry out loudly over the phone.)

Customer: *to wife* “What? It’s September 22nd?!”

(The customer ends the conversation and hangs up the phone.)

Me: “Are you going to be all right when you go back?”

Customer: “You should warn me next time you have to ask for her birthday.”

[florida80]

Cost-Benefit Analysis
AUTO SHOP, PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 25, 2011
(A customer comes in to pick up his Viagra prescription. I’m trying not to be awkward and ring him up as if it’s any other order.)

Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Customer: “My name is [name]. I need to pick up my prescription.”

Me: “That will be just a moment.”

(I get the man’s prescription and proceed to ring him up for it.)

Me: “Your total today comes out to [price].”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: *I repeat the price*

Customer: *mumbles* “Still cheaper than a hooker, I guess.” *pays and leaves*

[florida80]

Sleepless Sleep Aids
PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 24, 2011
(A woman comes to the counter.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I see you’ve got [sleep aid]. Does it come in a non-drowsy version?”

[florida80]

Two Halves Make A Hole In Your Brain
PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 22, 2011
Me: “Thank you for calling the pharmacy, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like you to check how much my prescriptions are. My name is [name].”

Me: “You have two prescriptions waiting for you. Each one is $2.50.”

Customer: “So, how much does each one cost?”

Me: “$2.50 each.”

Customer: “So, one is $2.50. How much is the other one?”

Me: “Each of your two prescriptions is $2.50.”

Customer: “So, if I give you $5, how much will my change be?”

Me: “Nothing.”

Customer: *hangs up*

[florida80]

Recipe For Disaster
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 14, 2011
(A customer comes up to the pharmacy counter. Keep in mind, Sudafed (pseudoephedrine) is controlled in all 50 states as it is used to make methamphetamine.)

Customer: “I need some Sudafed.”

Me: “Did you want Sudafed or [store brand]?”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “The active ingredient is the same but sometimes they change the inactive ingredients. It still works the same though. Plus, [store brand] is about 5 bucks cheaper.”

Customer: “The recipe said I need Sudafed.”

Me: “…”

Customer: *realizing what she said* “Um, s***. Never mind, I got to go.”

[florida80]

Zombies Need Lawyers Too
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 17, 2011
Me: “Ma’am, unfortunately we are waiting on your prescriber to contact the pharmacy because parts of your prescription were unclear.”

Customer: “Are you telling me my prescription is not ready?”

Me: “Yes, it is not ready.”

Customer: “Well, if I die, I’m suing you!”

[florida80]

Like There’s No Tomorrow
PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 24, 2011
(A customer has called to ask if we carry an over the counter soap in our store.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am? I just checked and we do carry [brand] soap. However, we are all out of stock right now, but we could order some for you and it would come in tomorrow.”

Customer: “You don’t carry [brand]?”

Me: “We do carry it. We just don’t have it in right now.”

Customer: “Well, why not?”

Me: “Because other customers have purchased it. But we can order some for tomorrow.”

Customer: “Well, how long will that take?”

Me: “It’ll come in tomorrow.”

Customer: “So, how many days will that be?”

[florida80]

They’re Right Next To The Abacus Tablets
PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 10, 2011
(I’m working behind the counter one morning when an older customer and her son approach.)

Customer: “I’ve been really itchy lately. I need something for the itch. My son used algebra tablets last time.”

Me: “Well you could use an allergy tablet, but you can’t if you have high blood pressure.”

Customer: “I have high blood pressure but this itching is terrible. Can you show me the algebra tablets?”

Me: “I can’t recommend the allergy tablets, then. It could interact with your medicine.”

Customer: “I know, but my son had algebra tablets last time and they helped with the itching.”

Me: “Yes, the allergy tablets would interact though. So I can’t recommend those.”

Customer: “Which of these algebra tablets would you recommend?”

Me: *gives up* “The pink box.

[florida80]

One’s Green And The Other Makes You Green
PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 10, 2011
Customer: “Hi, I’m calling to see if you have cholera pills in stock.”

Me: “I beg your pardon? Cholera is a contagious disease.”

Customer: “No, it’s not! I’m looking for cholera pills!”

Me: “Um, do you mean the natural supplement Chlorella?”

Customer: “That’s what I said! Cholera! It’s spelled C-H-L-O-R-E-L-L-A. Cholera. I am looking for a large bottle if you have it.”

Me: *gives up* “Yeah, sure. We happen to have a few bottles of cholera in stock.”

Customer: “I’ll be there in five minutes!”

[florida80]

Run Artificial Stupidity Program
PHARMACY | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 27, 2011
(Our pharmacy phone system is down, so all pharmacy calls are going through the main line, which is answered by me. These calls include people trying to reach the automated prescription line.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [store], where we offer flu shots every day. This is [name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “You’re not a machine.”

Me: “No. If you were trying to reach the automated line, the phones are down. I can connect you to the pharmacist.”

Customer: “I want the automated system. People are dumb!”

[florida80]

Not So Modest Aspirations
PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 25, 2011
(I’m speaking with a three year old girl as I serve her mother.)

Me: “Do you like the pharmacy? Do you think you will be a pharmacist when you grow up?”

Girl: “No! I will be a dancer!”

Me: “Oh, a dancer! That’s nice! Like in a dance group?”

Girl: “No! On the pole!”

[florida80]

D Is For Definitely Shiny
HOLIDAYS, NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY, RETAIL, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 16, 2011
(A customer walks to my register with a Halloween decoration in tow. It’s a cheap cardboard statue of a cartoon-looking black cat covered in a shiny plastic material.)

Customer: “So, why is this 3D?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

(I peer at the tag. It says “3D Cat.”)

Me: “Oh, that’s because it’s 3D.”

Customer: “No, I mean why is it ‘D’? Is it because it’s shiny?”

(A multitude of thoughts are racing through my head at this point. I debate the prospect of explaining to her what 3D actually means. In the end, I decide it’s easier to just agree with her.)

Me: “Exactly! It’s really sparkly and that’s why it’s called a 3D cat. Would you like to purchase it?”

Customer: “Oh, definitely!”

[florida80]

What’s Your Poison
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 15, 2011
(I’m a pharmacist in a rural area. A shop assistant calls me out from the dispensary to talk to a customer, who is a slightly intoxicated middle aged woman.)

Customer: “This medicine made my partner sick! Violently sick!”

Me: “Let me see. Has he had any alcohol?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Are you sure? Not even a little?”

Customer: “He doesn’t drink. Maybe only a little, but he wasn’t drunk.”

Me: “It clearly says on the label that you must not drink any alcohol while being treated with this medicine.”

Customer: “But he didn’t drink much at all. A beer shouldn’t matter, should it?”

Me: “It contains enough alcohol to–”

Customer: “But, like, you can even drive if you only drink a beer!”

Me: “That has nothing to do with–”

Customer: “I think he’d better not take this medicine. It made him violently sick!”

Me: “I think he should–”

Customer: “Thanks, I’ll tell him what you said. This medicine is a poison!” *turns around and walks out*

[florida80]

Have You Tried Dihydrogen Monoxide, Part 3
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 9, 2011
(I am standing in line at the pharmacy counter and a man rudely cuts in front of me, stating that he has been waiting in line, just in another part of the store. He assures me he’ll be quick, but I don’t buy his excuse. The following exchange occurs between him and the pharmacist.)

Customer: “I need to speak to a pharmacist immediately.”

Pharmacist: “Do you have a question about your medication?”

Customer: “Yes, it says on the bottle to take with water. I don’t drink water. Water makes you fat.”

Pharmacist: “Um, water is essential for your body, especially with those pills.”

Customer: “What about water retention? Will I just pee it out, then?”

Pharmacist: “Yeah, your body will eventually eliminate it. You should drink water, though. Your body needs plenty of water to work well, and you really don’t want to be dehydrated while on this drug.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll try it. Oh, and one more question. What about alcohol? Can I still have my alcohol?”



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Take Two Werewolves And Call Me In The Morning
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 8, 2011
(I have just given a customer his prescription and am explaining to him the directions.)

Me: “So, just take two of these with water at night.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks. Wait, I work at night…should I take these in the day time?”

Me: “Yes, just take them before bed.”

Customer: “Okay, so they aren’t activated by the moon or anything?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: *slight disbelief* “Hmm, okay…” *turns around and leaves*

[florida80]

I’ll Take An Album Cover For 7000
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 4, 2011
(I work in the OTC section of a well-known pharmacy chain. I’m stocking the shelves in an aisle when a customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I’ve looked all over here. Where are your hemorrhoid wipes?”

Me: “Oh, those are actually down on Aisle 20.”

Customer: “Really? Why are they over there and not in this aisle with the rest of the anal care?”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “Anal care!” *points at the aisle’s sign*

(The sign she was pointing at? “Analgesics”.)

[florida80]

It’s The Small Victories
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 21, 2012
(I’ve been working for a quite a while, so my voice is scratchy. Near the end of my shift, an old man comes to the counter.)

Customer: “Hm. You’re losing your voice there, eh?”

Me: “Haha. A little bit, I suppose.”

Customer: “Well, that’s the end of the world for a woman.”

Me: “Ha ha…” *confused as to where he’s going with this*

Customer: “HAHAHA, YOU CAN’T YELL AT ME!” *does a victory dance*

[florida80]

The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 5
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 2, 2012
Customer: “Do you have any fecal heart monitors?”

Me: “Uh…what?”

Customer: “You know, to hear the baby while it’s still in the womb?”

Me: “That would be a fetal heart monitor. Right this way…”

[florida80]

Photo-synthesise A Cure
PHARMACY | RELATED | DECEMBER 17, 2011
(A mother has her sick three-year-old with her. She needs help finding medicine.)

Me: “What symptoms are you trying to treat?”

Mother: “Well, her nose…and, um, her eyes, uh… Hang on.”

(The customer digs in her purse and pulls out a photo.)

Mother: “Here’s a picture of what my daughter normally looks like, and look at her now. She’s really sick. What do you recommend?”

[florida80]

A Real Pain In The Rear
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 14, 2011
(An elderly gentleman approaches me at the counter.)

Me: “How may I help you, sir?”

Customer: “My butt hurts! I need medicine!”

Me: “All right, do you have a prescription? Or, can you tell me what exactly is wrong so that I can recommend you something that doesn’t need one?”

Customer: “I don’t know what’s wrong. But my butt hurts!”

Me: “Please go see a doctor then, sir. Without knowing what causes your pain, there’s little I can do.”

Customer: “But I don’t want to wait at the doctor’s together with all the sick people! I’ll catch a disease or something!”

Me: “That’s understandable. Maybe you could go early in the morning when fewer people are there?”

Customer: “No! I don’t want to! I want you to tell me what’s wrong! Look at my butt!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but we don’t do that–”

(The man doesn’t listen. In front of me and three other customers, he drops his pants and underwear, turns around and sticks out his butt in my direction.)

Me: “Sir, please pull up your pants again! I can’t tell what’s wrong and you will have to leave if you don’t stop that!”

Customer: “Nonsense! If you can’t tell what’s wrong from over there, come closer and get a better look!”

(My boss then comes to look at what’s going on and ends up kicking the guy out.)

Customer: *on the way out the door* “Why will no one look at my butt?!”

[florida80]

A Warm And Full(filling) Night In
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 9, 2011
(A man in his mid-30’s approaches the register. I notice that he looks a little grumpy about something.)

Me: “Hello!”

Customer: “Hi.”

(It is at this point that I notice that he only has two items to ring up: a 20oz bottle of soda and an enema.)

Me: “How are you today?”

Customer: “I’m holding an enema, what do you think?!”

Me: *speechless*

(I ring him up silently. Poor guy, I hope he feels better!)

[florida80]

Not So Modest Aspirations
PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 25, 2011
(I’m speaking with a three year old girl as I serve her mother.)

Me: “Do you like the pharmacy? Do you think you will be a pharmacist when you grow up?”

Girl: “No! I will be a dancer!”

Me: “Oh, a dancer! That’s nice! Like in a dance group?”

Girl: “No! On the pole!”

[florida80]

Cost-Benefit Analysis
AUTO SHOP, PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 25, 2011
(A customer comes in to pick up his Viagra prescription. I’m trying not to be awkward and ring him up as if it’s any other order.)

Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Customer: “My name is [name]. I need to pick up my prescription.”

Me: “That will be just a moment.”

(I get the man’s prescription and proceed to ring him up for it.)

Me: “Your total today comes out to [price].”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: *I repeat the price*

Customer: *mumbles* “Still cheaper than a hooker, I guess.” *pays and leaves*

[florida80]

Sleepless Sleep Aids
PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 24, 2011
(A woman comes to the counter.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I see you’ve got [sleep aid]. Does it come in a non-drowsy version?”

[florida80]

Two Halves Make A Hole In Your Brain
PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 22, 2011
Me: “Thank you for calling the pharmacy, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like you to check how much my prescriptions are. My name is [name].”

Me: “You have two prescriptions waiting for you. Each one is $2.50.”

Customer: “So, how much does each one cost?”

Me: “$2.50 each.”

Customer: “So, one is $2.50. How much is the other one?”

Me: “Each of your two prescriptions is $2.50.”

Customer: “So, if I give you $5, how much will my change be?”

Me: “Nothing.”

Customer: *hangs up*

[florida80]

Recipe For Disaster
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 14, 2011
(A customer comes up to the pharmacy counter. Keep in mind, Sudafed (pseudoephedrine) is controlled in all 50 states as it is used to make methamphetamine.)

Customer: “I need some Sudafed.”

Me: “Did you want Sudafed or [store brand]?”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “The active ingredient is the same but sometimes they change the inactive ingredients. It still works the same though. Plus, [store brand] is about 5 bucks cheaper.”

Customer: “The recipe said I need Sudafed.”

Me: “…”

Customer: *realizing what she said* “Um, s***. Never mind, I got to go.”

[florida80]

Thinking Too Highly Of Those Eye Drops
BAD BEHAVIOR, DRUGS, IOWA, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 14, 2020
I am a cashier at a large chain pharmacy. A customer comes up to my register with a bag of chips, a Mountain Dew, and a box of eye drops, specifically eye-whitening eye drops. He is very clearly stoned.

Me: “Did you find everything okay?”

Customer: “Yeeaaaahhhh…”

I finish the transaction and then turn to a coworker.

Me: “I don’t know who he thinks he’s fooling, buying those eye drops.”

Coworker: “Yeah, his eyes aren’t the only giveaway!”

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #207931 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=207931)
CONNECTICUT, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | SEPTEMBER 10, 2020
(At the pharmacy I work at, we sell cold medicines that contain pseudophedrine (PSE) behind the counter. The reason is because the PSE in the medicine can be used to make meth, and we have a special statewide system in place, just for the sale of PSE cold medicine. This involves scanning a license, entering work ID number, and having the customer sign a statement they will not use it to make meth. A woman approaches the counter while I’m ringing, with groceries. We also do regular store items at the pharmacy registers.)
Woman: **points to a box of cold medicine off to the side** That one’s mine, I’m ready to check out now (occasionally, a pharmacist or store associate will put a restricted item aside until they’re ready to check out, this itself isn’t so weird.)
me: sure, do you have your ID on you?
Woman: Yes, here it is **hands me her ID**
(I scan the medicine, and her ID, and I get a system down error. This occasionally happens, and we’re not allowed to sell it until the systems back up)
Me: I’m sorry, our system’s acting up today. I’ll try it again in a few minutes.
(I scan her groceries, and try the cold medicine again. I get a little further in the process, but it still comes up system down.)
Me: Sorry, it’s still acting weird, do you have a [rewards member card] while we’re here? (I scan the card, the cold medicine, and it finally appears to be going through)
Me: Alright ma’am, it went through, you can pay with your card now. (As soon as I hit the buttons to run her debit card, the final check for authorization, it says system error and refuses the sale.)
Me: I’m sorry ma’am, but our system is still down, I’m afraid I can’t sell it to you right now. (the woman, who has been fairly patient up to this point, suddenly gets very irritable).
Woman: What do you mean you can’t sell it?
me: The system we use to sell cold medicine is down right now, we can try again later.
Woman: I’m sick right now, I need this medicine, my doctor said I could get this medication in place of a script, what am I supposed to do now?! (note: even if the doctor did write a prescription for her, we would still be doing the same process, as most insurance companies don’t cover over-the-counter supplies, and writing a script would be useless.)
Me: I understand ma’am, but our system is still down. you could come back in say an hour, and we might be back up by then.
**The woman rolls her eyes and scowls as I suggest waiting**
Woman: Can’t you get the pharmacist to do something about it?
Me: It’s a system error, they don’t have the power to override something like this.
Woman: cant they ring me up out front? (This is illegal, by the way, and I could lose my job by ringing it out upfront)
Me: No, they don’t have the system required to sell this.
woman: Can’t you do ANYTHING to override it? Maybe sell it outside the system? (What she’s suggesting is even more illegal, and is considered a felony in some states)
Me: I’m sorry, but there really isn’t anything I can do besides trying again later.
Woman: I can’t try again later, this has been a waste of my time! Cancel everything else, except the milk.
(As I’m removing the other groceries from her sale, she keeps going on about how I wasted her time. It took longer to void out her items than it did for me to explain that our system wasn’t working. I finally finish removing the items from her order, and ring her out for the milk.)
Me: *handing her the receipt* thank you have a- *she snatches the receipt out of my hand and walks away*

[florida80]

Three’s Company, But It’s Also A Family
AUSTRALIA, HOBART, INSPIRATIONAL, NON-DIALOGUE, PHARMACY, TASMANIA | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 7, 2020
It’s a busy morning and we have multiple customers waiting for prescriptions.

Once one of them is ready, I call out the surname on it. Three women simultaneously step forward to claim it, and immediately, all three look confused. I then call out the first name and one of the women steps back. I now have two confused women laying claim to the prescription, which is marginally better than three.

After a few moments of conversation, we work out what is happening.

Of the three women, two shared a surname but not a first name, and two shared a first name but not the surname. Additionally, the third lady’s surname was similar enough to the other two that it was easily mistaken if you weren’t paying close enough attention, e.g. if two of the women were named Smith, the third was named Smits.

As if this wasn’t enough of a coincidence, the two women who shared a surname (who had never met) realised that they were distantly related by marriage and quickly struck up a new friendship, agreeing to meet later on for coffee.

In well over a decade of working in the industry, I’ve never had such a coincidence!

And yes, all three ladies eventually got their own correct prescription and they all went on their merry ways.

[florida80]

Be The Change
AT THE CHECKOUT, CURRENT EVENTS, GERMANY, JERK, MONEY, NON-DIALOGUE, PHARMACY | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 3, 2020
It’s the beginning of the health crisis in 2020. The employees are wearing masks and there are signs posted everywhere to please pay by card instead of cash. In this pharmacy, there is only one line, but there are multiple employees, so usually, you don’t have to worry about a line, but today it’s packed.

My customer is a sweet old lady. Everything about her medication is fine, so we proceed to paying. Her total is something like 17.56€. The lovely old lady starts digging in her purse, of course paying cash, like always. She looks at every single coin, puts it back, takes out another one, and so on. After a few long minutes, she finally manages to find 17.55€ and has the last missing cent in her hand.

This is the moment she looks up from her purse, sees the sign, and says, “Oh, you like it better if I pay by card, don’t you?” Before I can tell her that it’s fine, she puts all the money back in her purse and begins searching for her card. I hand her the card reader and the real struggle begins. In the fourth attempt, she inserts the card the right way round, yay! Who guessed: she doesn’t know her PIN!

Eventually, after about ten minutes, she pays with a 20€ note. I am so glad I am wearing a mask today.

[florida80]

More Like “Harmacist”
EMPLOYEES, NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 30, 2020
My boyfriend and I decide to have sex one night, so we grab a condom, but it breaks halfway through, and we don’t realize until we finish.

I decide to go to the pharmacy to get a morning-after pill. I don’t look particularly young. When I arrive at the pharmacy, the pharmacist comes right up to the counter.

Me: “Hi. Can I get the morning-after pill?”

Pharmacist: “Did you speak with your doctor?”

Me: “Um, no.”

Pharmacist: “You need to speak with your doctor, first, sweetheart. And I need your parents’ consent.”

Me: “Um, first of all, no, you don’t. Even if I was underage, you don’t need their consent. And I should get the pill if I ask for it right here; I shouldn’t have to speak to my doctor.”

Pharmacist: “Underage? How old are you?”

Me: “Twenty-four.”

The pharmacist looks surprised before consulting with another pharmacist. They both come over, the first pharmacist watching from behind the second pharmacist. The second pharmacist hands me the package with the pill.

Second Pharmacist: “Sorry about that. She’s never acted like that before. I’ll have a talk with her.”

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #205788 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=205788)
PHARMACY, SINGAPORE | UNFILTERED | AUGUST 23, 2020
I work in a retail pharmacy and my colleagues told me what happened. I saw the product in question as well. The product involved was an antiseptic spray that had the label “dry powder”on top. But as powders don’t simply spray out of a bottle like an aerosol, it was suspended in oil. Thus when it is sprayed out, it looks like a liquid spray but will dry into a powder.

A customer came to my store with her colleagues and she picked up the product. The product was packaged in a box so the customer roughly ripped open the box, tearing the lid open and took the spray out. Then she proceeded to use the spray. My colleague saw what happened and told the customer that the item was not a tester. The customer said that she knows it’s not and she wanted to see what it was like.

My colleague, stunned at the customer’s reply, came to me and showed me the damaged box. She then went back to the customer and told her that she had to pay for the product. The customer asked if the product was something we could just exchange with the supplier after it’s damaged to which my colleague said it was not. The customer then reluctantly paid for the product.

And here is where is gets even more ridiculous.

The customer called my store shortly after and asked to speak with the “lady who was wearing all black.” She wanted to know if she was our manager. I said she was not. Truthfully speaking, this colleague of mine was a product promoter who was not employed directly under my company. Most people look down on product promoters and treat them like pests. I knew this woman was the one who damaged our product but I didn’t want her to belittle my colleague so I just said that the “lady in black” was also a staff member here. I then handed the phone to my colleague and told her “no matter what happens, we will support you.”

The customer then proceeded to say things like she was protected by the Lemon Law because the product was defective (it’s not, it’s meant to be an oil – to – powder spray but she thought it would spray out as a powder. She also did not ask any of the staff what it was supposed to be like.) She also said that she was nice enough not to make a fuss in the store because her colleagues were with her and my staff should not have “embarrassed” her by telling her to pay.

My staff decided to try to make her see things more logically and told her that we have some customers who use our products without paying and we cannot sell them if they have been used so we have to make customers pay up. The customer then argued that that’s our company’s problem. My staff then tried to diffuse the situation by telling the customer that if she really cannot find any use for the product, she can come back and refund it (it was cheap anyway). The customer retorted that she had no time and she was going to complain about the store and sue the company.

I really cannot understand the logic of such a person. If you ran a store and several customers just opened and damaged the products…the store would probably close down from all the losses made. Also, I cannot understand why her colleagues did not stop her. If my colleague did such a thing, I would have slapped his/her hand before he/she opened the box.

[florida80]

This Patient Needs A Patience Refill
JERK, OREGON, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 21, 2020
I’m at a drive-thru for my local pharmacy. There are two lanes: one for drop-off, one for pickup. I’m in the pickup lane when a lady pulls up to the drop-off lane. It’s currently Saturday afternoon.

Pharmacy Tech: “Good afternoon. Are you dropping off today?”

Lady: “Actually, I need to get a refill on a prescription. I’ve been unable to reach you guys by phone for a week and a half.”

Pharmacy Tech: “Okay, can I get your info?”

The information is passed and a minute or so passes.

Pharmacy Tech: “We do not have the prescription in stock, but we’ll have this filled for you by Monday afternoon.”

Lady: “I can’t wait that long! I need my prescription. Can you see if any other location has it?”

Pharmacy Tech: “Just a couple of minutes.”

A couple of minutes go by.

Pharmacy Tech: “The other pharmacies in this area also don’t have it; it’s not a common prescription. If you had called it in prior to now, we’d have it all ready for you.”

Lady: “This is unacceptable!”

Pharmacy Tech: “We didn’t know you needed a refill. We do have an automatic refill service.”

Lady: “I don’t like those automatic refill things.”

Pharmacy Tech: “If you needed the prescription today, you should have called it in a couple days ago, or you could have done it online.”

Lady: “I don’t have time for this. You should have my prescription ready. It’s not my fault I didn’t call for a refill.”

The lady speeds off.

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #205751 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=205751)
CALIFORNIA, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | AUGUST 21, 2020
I’m a cashier at a well known pharmacy. This happened one day when a woman comes in to return some medicine that her daughter had bought for her. Everything is going smoothly despite the customers slight attitude at having to come do the return instead of her daughter coming down. Until I go to put the money back on her card.
Me: ma’am is this the same card on the receipt?
Customer: *sighs heavily* no. My daughter used her card. Can’t you just put it back on this one?
Me: I’m sorry ma’am we can only out the money back on the card used to pay.
Customer:*getting angry* i came all the way down her and you can’t just put the money back on this card? She then took her medicine snatched the card off the counter and started to storm away.
Me: ah I love my job so much.
My coworker the manager, even a couple of people in line and checking out laughed. Apparently though the customer heard the laughing but not what I said. She storms back over while I’m ringing up another customer and snapped at me.
Customer: and I don’t appreciate the laughter. I was just trying to make a return. There was no need for that!
Everybody looks at her annoyed with her behavior.
Me: … you have a nice day ma’am. I turned my back on her and finished ringing out the customer.

[florida80]

When They Realize The World Doesn’t Revolve Around Them It Can Be A Struggle
DRUG STORE, JERK, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | AUGUST 17, 2020
I’m a pharmacy technician at a national chain drug store. We are a little short-staffed and I am the only tech working this morning for several hours. I am doing my best to handle the line at the front counter, the line in the drive-thru, and the multiple incoming phone calls. The next tech is due to clock in shortly.

I have just finished helping the last person in the drive-thru, turned around to check that no one was at the front counter, and then picked up one of the three phone calls I had on hold at the moment. Not even a minute into the conversation, with a very nice lady who is inquiring about the shingles vaccine, I hear a woman very loudly behind me.

Customer: *Very rudely* “Umm, hello? You know you’ve got people waiting over here? There’s a line forming!”

I turn around to see the woman glaring at me over the counter and a single elderly gentleman behind her. I respond in my customer service voice.

Me: “Okay, I’ll be with you shortly. I’m on the phone with another patient.”

Customer: “Yeah, I can see that. Why don’t you just tell her no and hang up?!”

The pharmacist steps in, speaking very firmly.

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, she will be with you shortly.”

Customer: *Sarcastically* “Yeah, I got that! Where’s your hydrogen peroxide?!”

The pharmacist tells her where to find it… directly on the wall behind her. I have turned my attention back to the phone call, trying to ignore the lady, whom I can still hear complaining to the elderly man behind her that “apparently, we’re less important than the shingles.” I finish the phone call and go to the counter to finish ringing up the woman, who is also picking up her prescription. I am still in customer service mode.

Me: “Do you have a phone number for rewards?”

Customer: “Oh no, I’m never coming back here again! I only came here because you had the better price for my prescription. But I’m not coming back after this!”

Me: “Okay… have a good day.”

A few minutes after she left, the second tech came in. Apparently, as she was walking back to the pharmacy, the angry customer saw her in her uniform and confronted her, telling her that she needed to hurry up and get back to work because there was a line of people waiting! Still don’t know what line this lady imagined was there. The gentleman behind her was very nice.

[florida80]

Falling For Tricky Wording Doesn’t Make You Self-Centered
EMPLOYEES, JERK, PHARMACY, TEXAS, USA | WORKING | AUGUST 17, 2020
I am seventeen but many think I look several years older. I am at the grocery store helping my mom when we stop by the pharmacy to pick up a prescription for her. It is less than a week before July fourth. It seems that both my mom and the pharmacist are talkative people. After he hands my mom her prescription, he calls me up.

Pharmacist: “Your mom tells me you are in school. Is it true?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Looking back, he thought she meant college.

Pharmacist: “Okay, you are clearly smart, so I have a question for you: does Europe have a fourth of July?”

Me: “I mean, the day is still July fourth, but they don’t celebrate US independence. Are you asking what day is their Independence Day?”

Pharmacist: *Looking sad* “I have asked dozens of young people this question; you are the first one to answer right. Most young people just don’t understand these types of things. They’re too self-centered.”

My mom and I decided to ignore his rude comments because he couldn’t trick me and just left.

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #205589 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=205589)
PHARMACY, SINGAPORE | UNFILTERED | AUGUST 13, 2020
(I can see a customer taking Nurofen (a painkiller) off the shelf from where I was standing. Take note that Panadol (yet another pain killer) are next to each other.)

Customer walks over to me.

Customer: Where is the Panadol?

Me: *confused for a moment because she should have seen the medicine* It’s next to the Nurofen. Nevermind, I’ll show you where it is. (tries to step out of my dispensary)

Customer: Nevermind! I just wanted to tell you what I wanted to get!

Me: ???? Well, it’s next to where you got the Nurofen in case you were wondering.

Customer then wanders around the store a bit more, stopped in from of my insect repellents and said “Michael Jackson was here.”

I am officially confused.

[florida80]

Sex For Anything Besides Reproduction? How Dare You!
BIZARRE, BRAZIL, IN-LAWS, PHARMACY, RIO DE JANEIRO, RUDE & RISQUE | RELATED | AUGUST 11, 2020
I was raised in a very open household, where I was encouraged to talk about all subjects, so I don’t really get embarrassed easily. My sister-in-law, on the other hand, is bizarrely prudish, to the point that she refers to pregnancy as being in a “delicate condition.” It’s particularly weird because she’s not even religious.

We are both in our late twenties, and at the time of this story, I am being treated for a health issue which means I can’t take the pill. My husband and I are not ready for children yet, but we have slipped, so I am at a pharmacy and convenience store getting a pregnancy test and a large box of condoms. My mom is also somewhere in the store buying her own things, while I’m already at the register.

My sister-in-law enters the store, sees me and my items, turns an interesting shade of red, and makes a beeline for me. Her side of the conversation is done in an angry whisper that’s still audible to other people in line, while mine is at my normal voice tone.

Sister-In-Law: “[My Name], what are you doing?! Why are you buying this trash, and at a local family store? Don’t you care about our family reputation?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Sister-In-Law: “You’re a married woman! People are going to think you’re cheating. And are you? What do you need this for? Married couples don’t need condoms, and a whole box is just scandalous. And if you thought you were in a delicate condition, you’d see a doctor, unless you’re trying to hide your infidelity!”

Me: “I need condoms because I like sex and so does [Husband]. I’m pretty sure a whole box of condoms make us prepared, and hopefully very lucky. And I need the test because, well, I like sex and so does [Husband]!”

I wiggle my eyebrows.

Sister-In-Law: “You’re just shameful! I’m ashamed to even know you! Would you be buying this if your mother could see you? Of course not, you—”

In one of those benevolent-universe coincidences, my mom chooses this moment to come to the register.

Mom: “Hey, [My Name], did you finish buying your stuff already? I found a box of the [different condoms] you prefer if you want to switch.”

Sister-In-Law: *Screaming* “You’re all shameful!”

As she stormed out of the store, the cashier and the couple behind me in line were dying of laughter, I had laughing tears rolling down my eyes, and my mom was just super confused. To this day, my sister-in-law barely speaks to me at family functions, which I still consider a double win!

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #204297 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=204297)
PHARMACY, SINGAPORE | UNFILTERED | AUGUST 6, 2020
(Basically one of the medications that we have called ‘Zyrtec’ was repackaged to the name ‘Zyrtec-R’. As it became an over-the-counter item, the indications were listed in more detail.)

Customer: I want ‘Zyrtec’ for allergies.

Pharmacist: The tablet version?

Customer: Yes.

Pharmacist points to Zyrtec-R.

Pharmacist: It’s actually this item. It has been repackaged.

Customer: Why does it have so many uses? (Seeing that instead of just ‘allergies’, it included indications like ‘skin itch, runny nose, sneezing.’)

Pharmacist: All those are symptoms of allergies. It’s the same thing. But since it became an over-the-counter item, its company had to list its uses in more details.

Customer: I want the other one!

Pharmacist: It has been repackaged. You cannot find the old one that says “allergies” anymore. Don’t worry, they are the same thing.

Customer still looks confused. Says “never mind” and walks off.

(This kind of incident actually happens very often. There are some people who just cannot accept change!)

[florida80]

It’s Time You Flu Back To A Simpler Time
HEALTH & BODY, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, JERK, MARYLAND, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | AUGUST 5, 2020
I am standing in line at a drug store pharmacy waiting for the pharmacy tech to finish with another customer. A woman barges past the line up to the counter.

Customer: “You do free flu shots here, right?”

Tech: “I’m helping another customer at the moment, ma’am.”

Customer: “But flu shots are free here?”

Tech: *Forcing a smile* “Through your insurance, they are generally free, yes.”

Customer: “You have to have insurance?”

The tech looks at the first customer apologetically, but he nods for her to deal with the woman.

Tech: “You can still get one without insurance, ma’am, but it won’t be free.”

Customer: “You’re what’s wrong with this country. If I get sick, I’ll miss work!”

Tech: “I’m sorry, ma’am. There’s nothing I can do about that.”

Customer: “Give me my flu shot!”

Tech: “I can see how much it would cost for you, if you would like, once I’m done with this customer.”

Customer: “You give it to everyone else free! Give me my flu shot!”

Tech: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We can’t do that.”

Customer: “You just don’t want to! You want me to get fired! You’re what’s wrong with this country!”

Tech: *Giving a tight smile* “If you say so, ma’am.”

Customer: “If I get sick, I’m coming and coughing on you!”

The customer storms off as suddenly as she came and we all look at each other in shock. The customer at the counter gives the tech a sympathetic smile.

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “At least you’ll have had your flu shot!”

[florida80]

We Need No Further Evidence Regarding Her Sanity
BIZARRE, JERK, NEW YORK, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | JULY 31, 2020
I work in a pharmacy and I get a call from an older customer.

Me: “[Pharmacy], how can I help you?”

Customer: “You gave me the wrong pills!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am; did the bag have your name on it?”

Customer: “It’s my name, but the wrong pills are in the bottle!”

Me: “It’s possible we refilled one of your other prescriptions on fi—”

Customer: “No! The wrong pills are in the bottle!”

Me: “All right, can I have the number on the bottle?”

Customer: “Oh, no, you don’t! I’m not giving that to you.”

Me: “All right, can I have your name, please?”

Customer: “No! I’m on to your tricks!”

Me: “Ma’am, I need to look up your file so I can figure out what the problem is.”

Customer: “No, you don’t! I know your sly ways. You’re just going to change my file so you can cover up your mistake!”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t have that ability. I’d like to help give you the proper medication. Can you please tell me your name?”

Customer: “No! You’re going to change the names of the medications on my chart to hide your screwup!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, can you come back to the store so I can verify the wrong pills were given?”

Customer: “No! I’m holding onto this bottle! It’s evidence!”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t change any ‘evidence,’ since you have a printed label on the bottle. Can you tell me the name of the medication?”

Customer: “No! Do you think I’m stupid? I’m not telling you anything!”

Me: *Sigh* “Okay, ma’am, if you won’t let me see your file or the pills, and you won’t bring it back, then what would you like me to do?”

Customer: “I want you to know that you’re a horrible pharmacy. And you are a terrible person!”

Me: “Excuse me? I’m trying to help—”

Customer: “No, you are an awful person! You don’t deserve to be in business, trying to poison me with the wrong pills!”

Me: “Well, can you describe them to me? Are they white? Oval?”

Customer: “I’m not telling! You are a bad person!”

Me: “Ma’am, I would really like to help you, if you could give me some informati—”

Customer: “No, you don’t! Shame on you for trying to kill me and then hiding the evidence!”

She hung up.

[florida80]

Probably Should Have Asked Beforehand
PATIENTS, PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | JULY 28, 2020
My mom works as a night pharmacist in a retail chain.

Patient: “Hi, I had surgery the other day, and I just wanted to know what I had removed.”

Mom: “You would have to call your surgeon’s office. I can’t look that up.”

Patient: “But he’s so hard to get a hold of, and everyone always says if you have a question to ask your pharmacist!”

Mom: “That’s not really how it works.”

Everyone always says she should have just said “lobotomy.”

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #201607 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=201607)
FLORIDA, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | JULY 27, 2020
Working at a pharmacy store is rewarding way to help customers with their questions or assist their needs. However, it can be a big ouch for those that are just bored & very selfish simply because all they want is to feel pity for them. This is my real experience that I recently had with this elderly woman at the dental care section. When she pressed a button for assistance:
Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”
Customer: “I’m looking for the brush replacement of Philips (sonicare) company.”
Me: “We have them here.” (I point to the section where it exactly was.) “Do you know what type of Philips sonicare brush replacement you’re looking for?”
Customer: (Hands me a wrong replacement brush, I put it back.) “You’re no help at all.” (Gives me a retarded, dirty look attitude.)
Me: “Well, I’m sorry for your situation have a nice day, bye.”
Seriously, then there was no point to ask me or others for about it. Customers can be pain in the brain & a**. This person was clearly got more issues than vogue, and I’m pretty sure she never had a one positive life or to be grateful for. These bad or negative customers are not welcome and certainly gives a sick vibe to our staff & good valued customers a toothache!

[florida80]

The Only Drugs Needed Here Are For Anger Management, Part 2
IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, JERK, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA, VIRGINIA | RIGHT | JULY 26, 2020
I work at a twenty-four-hour pharmacy, working the drive-thru. A person comes through our outer lane so I get on the phone to speak with them.

Me: “Good afternoon! Thank you for choosing [Pharmacy]; are you picking up or dropping off?”

Patient: “Picking up!”

Me: “Great! Can I get the name and date of birth?”

The patient gives me their information. I put that information in and get no results; this is not uncommon.

Me: “Okay can you spell that for me?”

The patient pauses and then does so.

Me: “Okay, I’m not seeing anything ready for you.”

Patient: “I JUST CALLED AND YOU SAID YOU HAD IT!”

Me: “Well, let me check our system.”

This isn’t uncommon, as people will sometimes call the wrong store. I check our computers — nothing.

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I’m not seeing you in our system.”

Patient: “IT’S [DRUG]! YOU ALL SAID YOU HAD IT!”

She’s shouting so loud the entire pharmacy can hear her from outside.

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not seeing you in our system; we have not received anything at any of our stores…”

Patient: “WHATEVER! JUST TRANSFER IT TO THE STORE AT [SHOPPING CENTER]!”

Me: *Pause* “Ma’am, we don’t have a store at [Shopping Center].”

Patient: “What?”

Me: “[Shopping Center] has a [Competitor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] and a [Competitor #2].”

Patient: “Then where am I right now?”

Me: “[Pharmacy].”

Patient: “Oh. I’m at the wrong store, then.”

Related:
The Only Drugs Needed Here Are For Anger Management

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #201569 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=201569)
PHARMACY, UK, WALES | UNFILTERED | JULY 26, 2020
A couple of months previously to this I’d fractured my ankle and as a result was wearing a huge black boot to protect it and help it heal. A customer calls to say she’s not had her husbands medication and I realised that I had thought it was Monday, when it was Tuesday (I had a day off) and not sent it out. She calls at ten to six and lives in a village twenty minutes away. My pharmacist for the day is already in his coat and half way out the door

Me: I’m really sorry, it got missed on the delivery list today. I can send it out tomorrow.
Customer: I need it. This isn’t good enough. Things have been going down hill since [old pharmacist who was fired two months ago] left. I can come and get it, why can’t I come and get it.
Me: I’m sorry but we close at six.
Customer: Then wait, [old pharmacist] would’ve waited.
Me: I’m very sorry but our pharmacist can’t wait, he lives in [city two hours away] and needs to leave immediately.

At this point I haven’t even asked if he’ll stay. He always moves his car to a spot outside the shop, spends all day obsessing about getting a spot outside the shop so he can make a quick getaway. I don’t need to ask.

Customer: [old pharmacist] would’ve stayed open. Customer: This is a man with a heart condition, this medication is very important.
Me: I’m very sorry. I will send it out tomorrow.
Customer: Why can’t you drive it to me? Or wait for it.
Me: I;m sorry but I don’t drive and my bus leaves just after six. It’s the only one for another hour or I would. But I need a pharmacist here.
Customer: [old pharmacist] would’ve waited. this never happened when [old dispenser whose job I took when she left] did it.
Me: I really am very sorry but there is nothing more I can do. I will send it out tomorrow.
Customer: You better or you’ll be walking here with it.

I look down at my boot and almost tell her that I won’t be walking anywhere for a while. Instead I apologise again and hang up. The next day I send the tray out. The day after I find out that I’m the talk of the village, as she’s complained to all her neighbours about how bad things are at my pharmacy since the old pharmacist left.

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #201557 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=201557)
PHARMACY, UK, WALES | UNFILTERED | JULY 25, 2020
Our pharmacy is located across the road from the town’s main bus stop. We have one particular customer who is pretty entitled. She’s sometimes in a mobility scooter, or on crutches but she’s not really disabled. She has her medication weekly, either delivered or she picks it up herself. She calls to say she’s going to the dentist and she’ll come and pick her medication up on the way through. My pharmacist has already said we can’t come out and give her the medication on the bus. She calls again.

Customer: I’m just passing [village close by].
Me: Okay, your script is ready for you.
Customer: Can someone bring it out to me on the bus.
Me: Sorry, we’re really busy today, no one can come out. We can’t leave the shop.
Customer: Not for a second.
Me: Sorry, the shop is full.
Customer: okay, I’ll ask the bus driver.

I say okay, and goodbye and we hang up. Thirty seconds she calls back and speaks to my pharmacist again. The bus driver has told her he’s running behind and can’t get her prescription for her. I’m not surprised and go back to work.

Around three pm we get another call. It’s the customer again, and she’s on her way back from the dentist.

Customer: Can someone bring it out to me?
Me: Sorry, we’re really busy still.
Customer: Oh…*silence*. I’ll be in tomorrow then.
Me: Okay! we’ll see you tomorrow [name]!

She comes in the next day in her scooter and the rest of the staff tell me to deal with her. They’re always surprised when she doesn’t ask me any questions or only has me get her a couple of things. I think she’s finally realised I’m not the soft touch my predecessor was, and won’t bow down to her demands.

[florida80]

Time To Change Your Name And Move To Siberia
AUSTRALIA, EMPLOYEES, FUNNY, NON-DIALOGUE, PHARMACY, REVOLTING, TASMANIA, WORDPLAY | WORKING | JULY 24, 2020
Today at work, I was tidying up a basket of junk that was under my desk and I found a large, black paper number two that had been nicely cut out for an old display and not thrown away afterward.

I held it up to show my coworker and said, “I found a number two in my basket! Wait…”

Definitely gotta find a new job now. Can never go back there again. Nope. Definitely not.

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #201397 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=201397)
NEW HAMPSHIRE, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | JULY 24, 2020
The phone rings. I answer.
Me: Thank you for calling [pharmacy], how may I help you?
Patient: Who am I speaking to?
Me: You’re speaking to [name], one of the technicians.
Patient: [vaguely similar female name]?
Me: [name].
Patient: [vaguely similar female name]?
Me: Not quite. The Irish male name, not the English female name.
Patient: I’m not understanding.
Me: Don’t worry about it sir. How can I help you today?
Patient: You can’t. I’ll call back when I can talk to somebody with some sense in their head! *click*
Me: (putting the phone down) What the hell?
Pharmacist: What just happened?
Me: I’m not quite sure. He had trouble with my name and then accused me of having no sense in my head and hung up on me when I said not to worry about it and asked what I could do for him.

[florida80]

People Are Waiting Longer And Longer To Have Kids
HOSPITAL, NURSES, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | JULY 23, 2020
My dad is a clinical pharmacist before retirement. One hospital he works in for about thirty years has some nurses that are clearly in need of some extra training. The pharmacists can see the entire profile for the patient, including medications currently prescribed, what they are in the hospital for at the moment, etc.

Dad receives a prescription marked “urgent” that does not correlate with the patient’s diagnosis, and he immediately calls the nurse.

Dad: “Hi, this is [Dad] from the pharmacy. I am unable to fill the script you just sent me. Please double-check and resend it.”

Nurse: “Um, no. I sent it to you; you fill it. Do your d*** job!”

Dad: “Not happening. Have the doctor call me immediately if you won’t comply.”

Nurse: “What the f***?! How dare you insinuate I can’t do my job?!”

Dad: “Because you just requested a drug to induce labor for an eighty-five-year-old patient here for a heart attack. I’m not going to kill her.”

My dad hung up and dialed the doctor directly to get it handled.

Luckily, it was something my dad could start on while waiting on the doctor to send the CORRECT prescription and had already done so based on the semi-close names of the drugs, and the lady was okay. Unluckily, the nurse reported my dad for “unprofessional ism” and he had a long investigation started. The nurse didn’t last long.

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #200749 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=200749)
MEXICO, PHARMACY | UNFILTERED | JULY 17, 2020
(I’m on a fairly known pharmacy chain in Mexico which also has a doctor’s office attached. This particular doctor tends to have at least some patients waiting during the day because he has some fame in our town, so I sit in the waiting room. Almost immediately, the door opens and an older man and his wive are yelling at the doctor)

Man: (Irate) No! I will not tolerate that you disrespect my wife like that!

Doctor: Sir, calm down. I didn’t disrespect your wife.

Wife: Yes you did!

Doctor: No, it’s just the rules, and it says so in the waiting room: only the person getting the consultation can enter.

Man: I don’t care! You were disrespectful! How about if I disrespected you, eh? Like this? (He proceeds to take the doctor’s booklet where he writes prescriptions). Eh? How do you like that?!

(At this point, a middle-aged woman sitting next to this big and burly young man playing a portable videogame speaks up)

Woman: Sir, please, can you calm down? It’s the rules of the business.

Man: You stay out of this, b****!

(When hearing this, the young man sitting next to her stands up. While he was sitting he looked pretty calm and like he didn’t care about the world outside his game, but right now he looks downright scary)

Young Man: YOU WATCH YOUR TONGE WHEN SPEAKING TO MY MOM, D*****BAG!

(The man and his wife go pale and get out of there. But they still take the doctor’s booklet with them)

Woman: Wow, sorry about that.

Doctor: Well, at least there’s plenty of people here to help out in case they try to follow with their threats to sue me.

(He goes to the main desk of the pharmacy and asks for another booklet. In the meanwhile, the woman’s son has gone back to his videogame, looking just as calm as before. I didn’t expect to see such a scene when I just went to get the doc look at mysore throat!)

[florida80]

You’re Denying His Right To Be A Basket-case
BAD BEHAVIOR, CURRENT EVENTS, PHARMACY, THE NETHERLANDS | RIGHT | JULY 11, 2020
I have to clean every shopping basket the customers use. It’s mandatory to use a shopping basket because it’s a method to check how many customers are in the store. I’m cleaning baskets when a man comes in.

Me: “Excuse me, sir, please take one basket when you enter the store.”

Customer: “I don’t want to do that.”

Me: “Sir, unfortunately, it’s mandatory. If you refuse to bring a basket, I can’t allow you in the store.”

As I’m saying this, the man comes really close, which is also not allowed.

Customer: “I don’t want to do that!”

Me: “Sir, if you don’t keep your distance and don’t take one basket, I cannot allow you in the store.”

The customer refuses to listen and comes even closer when he says:

Customer: “I hate these new rules; they can’t make me keep my distance!”

A few other customers saw it happen and stepped in. The man eventually walked out without buying anything. If the customers hadn’t helped, I would’ve brought my manager into this, but fortunately, it wasn’t necessary.

[florida80]

Dressed Up For Your Non-Birthday
GOLDEN YEARS, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | JULY 9, 2020
An old gentleman with a walker comes up to me.

Old Gentleman: “Is it your birthday?”

Me: “Um… no? Mine was in the spring.”

Old Gentleman: “Oh. The last two ladies I talked to in the photo department, it was their birthday.”

Me: “Nice timing!”

Later, after I punch out and head for the door, he asks where to find a specific candy he likes. I lead him to it.

Me: “So, all jazzed up. What’s the occasion?”

He has on a dark suit and a tie.

Old Gentleman: “Well, today I went to the doctor, then I got a haircut, and now I’m here at [Store] on my way home.”

Me: *Confused* “A suit, to get your haircut?”

Old Gentleman: “No, the doctor’s office, for the nurses!” *Sly wink*

Very sweet customer!

[florida80]

Will Tell You Until You’re Black And White In The Face
AUSTRALIA, PHARMACY, STUPID | RIGHT | JULY 6, 2020
Customer: “I need some vitamins but I can’t remember the name.”

Me: “Okay, do you know what colour the packaging is?”

Customer: “Yes, the label was black and white.”

None of the vitamins we sell come in black and white bottles. I spend quite a while showing him what we do have, but he’s adamant the ones he wants are in a black and white bottle.

Customer: “Look, I’ve got a picture in the car; let me go get it.”

The customer returned with the picture. It was printed in black and white. We did have the product after all; it comes in a blue bottle.

[florida80]

I Wonder If That Was His Final Form?
AWESOME, GEEKS RULE, JERK, PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | JULY 5, 2020
I’m a pharmacy technician who greatly enjoys video games. My head pharmacist does not. Still, she sometimes tries to use “gaming terms” to better motivate me during the crazier shifts, although she usually ends up asking, “Was that right?” Today was one of those days.

Just before the end of my shift, a very intimidating customer drops off a script for a controlled item and stays at the counter for several minutes to instruct me on how it is to be done. For the record, as far as I have been taught, if certain controlled items are only partially dispensed, then the remainder is void and a new script would need to be written for more. This is one such item.

Customer: “The last time I was here, your other pharmacist denied me this prescription because you did not have enough in stock. The time before that, they only gave me half and never the rest. I never had this problem in [County next to ours]. I don’t know why doctors in this backwoods county have no balls, but you will fill this today. If you do not have it all today, then you will give me what you have and then the rest of the script next week.”

I make sure to keep eye contact and say little more than “okay” as they rant about government prescription coverage and more about medical professionals “not having balls,” including something about another pharmacy wanting to overcharge them this morning, which is why they are back to “deal with us.” They are practically shaking with restrained anger by this point.

Customer: “Also, you will never give me one of those stickers again! I have been taking [medication] for over twenty years. I worked at [Nearby Hospital]. I know how to use it!”

Me: “My apologies. We are now required to add those stickers to the bottles of all [medications].”

Seeing they are about to explode in another tirade, all 5’2″ of me cringes and I hastily continue.

Me: “But I will add a note to your profile today.”

The customer is seemingly placated for now.

Customer: “Fine! Make sure they never give me another safety cap again, too!”

Me: “Okay. I will get started on this with my pharmacist.”

The customer stalks off to wait. I assure my pharmacist and a coworker, who have both been listening in, that I will be fine, and we all agree to get the customer out as soon as possible. After filling them in, we actually get to work on the script, as corporate has been breathing down our necks about any customer complaints, and refusing this person would very well end up giving us one. My pharmacist says she will ring up the sale, but I insist, telling her I can finish this. As I call the customer back up, I can see that they have had time to cool off and have visibly deflated a little.

Customer: “Look, I’m sorry for my tone. This whole government system has me so fed up!”

They continue to, more politely at least, repeat their previous rant about Medicare and doctors with “no balls” as I quietly ring up the sale. At one point, they even notice they forgot an item, and I go the extra mile by heading out to grab it for them. By the end of the transaction, we are actually having a partially civil conversation.

Customer: “Anyway, thank you for the help.”

We wait until the customer is gone before I turn to my pharmacist.

Me: “That is what we call a Boss Battle, and I just pwned its a**!”

Looking back, I added all the notes, including a warning for future shifts, but forgot to double-check the safety cap. I’m going to need some hi-potions and phoenix downs if they show back up tomorrow. Still taking the win tonight!

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #199915 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=199915)
ALABAMA, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | JULY 5, 2020
(I was working the drive thru in a chain retail Pharmacy alone. There are two lanes, and I as fairly as possible switch and juggle between the lanes when their are multiple cars. After finishing one car in lane one I juggle back to lane two, who was next, as a woman riding in a taxi comes to lane one.)

Me: *to lady in lane one* Just a second please ma’am. *proceeds to close the window and address lane two*
Woman: Ma’am I’m in a cab!
Me: *holds up one finger to ask for a second as I’m entering lane two’s information*
Woman: *practically wailing* Ma’am I’m in a cab! Ma’am I’m in a CAB! MA’AM I’m in a CAB!
Me: *finishes lane two and reopen the window* How may I help you ma’am?
Woman: You should take care of people in a cab first! *tosses her stuff at me and drives off before I can get any relevant information, such as pick up time, for her prescription.*

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #199879 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=199879)
AUSTRALIA, PHARMACY, QUEENSLAND | UNFILTERED | JULY 4, 2020
I have a service dog due to an invisible medical condition. She wears a beige and red coat and has a bright blue collar, leash and head harness that read SERVICE DOG in two-inch letters all over them. Because she is a very large dog and an unconventional breed, she gets a lot of attention when we go out and it’s usual to have questions about her role and training. On this day, it was only our third outing in public and I was feeling confident because I hadn’t been challenged all day. I was in a pharmacy to pick up my medication.
Sales assistant: *running down the corridor* Excuse me!
Me: Yes?
Sales assistant: I don’t want to be mean, but next time you come you need to leave your dog outside.
(I look at [dog] standing beside me in all her gear, then at the door which is fifty meters away, then at my medication held plainly in my hands)
Me: Um, no. I’m not going to do that.
Sales assistant: It’s fine this time, but next time you really need to leave her outside. We can’t have dogs in here.
Me: I can’t leave her behind. She’s an assistance dog. MY assistance dog. I need her.
Sales assistant *nastily*: Well I wasn’t aware of that! And we don’t let dogs in here.
(I look at [dog] again to be sure – she is still clearly marked. Literally the only parts of her that don’t have some kind of identifying equipment are her tail and her paws. I’m confused by the hostility in the woman’s tone, and starting to feel anxious because I’d never faced being sent out of a store before. I really need my medicine, so I stand my ground.)
Me: But she is a service dog. She’s legally allowed to go anywhere I can go. It’s not safe for me to leave her behind.
Sales assistant: *throwing her hands up* Ugh! I know that! I wasn’t aware that she was an assistance dog! *glares*
Me: I – I don’t know what you want me to say here. She is one.
Sales assistant: Ugh! *storms away*
(I completed the rest of my shopping and left as soon as possible. It wasn’t a big deal but for someone relatively new to my condition and just learning to be independent again with the help of a dog, it was a devastating thing. It was very difficult to be brave enough to go into the next shop that I needed to, although the people working there were totally kind and absolutely appalled at the behaviour when I asked if there would be a problem bringing my dog inside.)

[florida80]

Drive Up, Slide Out, Make Up
EMPLOYEES, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, MASSACHUSETTS, PHARMACY, USA | WORKING | JULY 1, 2020
I go to my pharmacy’s drive-up window to pick up a prescription. I give the pharmacy technician my information and put my HSA card — medical debit card — in a cup in the slide-out drawer provided for that purpose.

A few minutes later, she hands me a small bag.

Technician: “Here is your prescription; your card is in the bag.”

Me: “Thank you.”

I start to drive away.

Technician: “WAIT! YOUR CARD IS IN THE CUP!”

Me: *Stops* “I thought you said my card was in the bag?”

Technician: “I made that up.”

[florida80]

A Dizzying Ordeal
EMPLOYEES, HEALTH & BODY, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, PHARMACY, UK | HEALTHY | JULY 1, 2020
I have had vertigo on and off since I caught a bug in 2017. I usually bed rest and it goes away after a few hours. I have a bout of it in May 2019; it’s just not going after two days and my anxiety over it is making it worse.

I call the doctor and his receptionist says as it’s an existing condition I can have a telephone consult. Two minutes after I put the phone down, the doctor calls back and says he’ll send an electronic prescription to the local pharmacy. I can’t drive. I can only just stand, but the pharmacy is seven minutes’ walk, so I figure I’ll stagger up to the pharmacy, get the meds, and then stagger next door to the tea room, take the tablets with a drink there, and wait for them to kick in so I can walk home. My friend runs the tea room and will let me sit quietly in the corner.

So, the plan is made, and after fifteen minutes of stumbling up the road with the world spinning, I get to the pharmacy and hang off a display unit for another ten minutes until it’s my turn.

Assistant: “How can I help you?”

Me: “I’ve come to collect a prescription that the doctor has just sent through electronically as urgent for me.”

Assistant: “I’ll go look.”

She disappears for ten minutes. By the time she returns, I’m almost lying on the counter as my head is spinning so much.

Assistant: “No, there’s no prescription for you.”

Me: “Can you check, please? The doctor said he would send it through as urgent.”

Assistant: “Well, if you insist.”

Me: *Through gritted teeth* “Yes, I do!”

She goes away again and comes back after another ten minutes, by which time I’m starting to feel nauseous.

Assistant: “No prescription. When did the doctor send it through?”

Me: “As I said, he has just sent it through as urgent. Just now.”

Assistant: “Why didn’t you say?”

Me: “I did.”

Assistant: “Oh, we don’t look at the electronic ones until the afternoon. Can you come back in two days?”

Me: “I have chronic vertigo. I can’t see too well, and I can’t stand up, walk, or lie down. The doctor has prescribed these as urgent. No, I can’t come back in two days!”

Assistant: “Are you insisting that you have your prescription made up now?”

Me: “You think?”

She looks blankly at me.

Me: “Yes, I am. Please make it up now or I will throw up and collapse here.”

Assistant: *Sighs* “If you insist. Can you go sit over there?” *Points at a chair behind a pillar* “You are stopping other people getting their prescriptions.”

I looked at her as if she had lost the plot and went to sit in the chair and lean on the pillar which was nice and cold on my head.

After another thirty minutes, still no prescription. I staggered over and asked the assistant how much longer it would be as it was now nearly an hour since I’d gotten there. She told me to go sit down and wait.

I stumbled back. After another thirty minutes, a different assistant came over with a clipboard and asked me to fill out a customer satisfaction surgery. I must have looked shocked and possibly homicidal at this point, as she said in a caring way, “Are you okay, love?”. I explained that I’d been there all morning waiting for my urgent prescription. She grabbed the clipboard out of my hands and dashed off. She came straight back with my prescription made up.

She explained that the pharmacist had started to make it up but had been called to the telephone. Then, it was given to the assistant pharmacist who started it, too, and then went to early lunch. The assistant I’d been dealing with had gone out on her break and it had been forgotten, and because I was behind the pillar, they had forgotten me.

This different assistant had been filling a display up, saw what looked like a dead woman on the chair, and brought over the survey as a way to talk to me. I dry-swallowed two of the tablets as she spoke, staggered home hours after I had left, and finally collapsed in bed. About thirty minutes later, the tablets kicked in and I filled the survey out in line with very honest replies.

Two days later, I moved to having my prescriptions filled by post — they come three days after you request them — and for urgent, I now send my husband.

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #199825 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=199825)
PHARMACY, USA, UTAH | UNFILTERED | JULY 1, 2020
(A young man in his late teens or early twenties came to the pharmacy to pick up his prescription. He didn’t have enough money for them, so he called his mom, who called our store and I picked up. It should be noted that the pharmacy I work in is inside a chain of grocery stores.)

Woman: Okay, so first of all, can you take payment over the phone?

Me: No, it’s corporate policy to not do that.

Woman: Well, here’s my problem. I’m down in [City about 40 miles away], and he needs to get those. Your stores are all linked, right? Can I find a [Store Name] down here and pay for them and then have him pick them up?

Me: You mean you pay for them at a different store and he picks them up here?

Woman: Yeah!

Me: …No. You can’t pay for them at one [Store Name] and pick them up at another.

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #198676 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=198676)
COLORADO, DENVER, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | JUNE 25, 2020
(I am waiting to pick up a prescription at a pharmacy. As I’m waiting, I hear this very loud, very off key singing. From the sound of it, it’s some kind of country love song. Looking up, I see an overweight man with ear buds walking towards me.)

Man: *unintelligible, very loud, off key singing* . . .OH MANDY!

Me: *stares, thinking this kind of thing only happened in the stories I read on the internet, and trying very hard not to laugh*

Me: *sits down and continues singing, oblivious to the stares. He continued to sing for a couple minutes before he left.*

[florida80]

How To Counter Their Arguments
IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, JERK, PHARMACY, THE NETHERLANDS | RIGHT | JUNE 19, 2020
I have received an email that I can pick up my medication from my pharmacist. I go to pick them up. There is only one girl in the waiting room who doesn’t even notice me because she’s absorbed with her phone.

The waiting room is for both the pharmacist and general practitioner who works in the same building. I walk up to the counter and tell the pharmacist why I’m there. Within two minutes, the pharmacist has found my medication, bagged it, and handed to me.

At the moment I take the medication and start to leave, the girl looks up from her phone and starts to rage and yell because I have cut the line and she has been waiting there for at least forty minutes to get her prescription filled.

The pharmacist immediately intervenes:

Pharmacist: “Hey, stop it. You haven’t even given me your prescription. You came in and sat down, and you were constantly busy with your phone. If you had taken the trouble to give me your prescription here at the counter, you would have been away with your medication at least thirty-five minutes ago. I thought that you were waiting to see the doctor. So, either you keep your mouth shut or you can go to the pharmacist on the other side of the city. It’s your choice.”

Apparently, this is the first time that someone has spoken to her in this way. She starts crying and stomps out of the waiting room yelling that she will never come in here again.

The pharmacist shakes his head and says to me:

Pharmacist: “Would you believe it? This is the seventh time this week that some spoiled brat pulled some stunt like this. I even had one girl who sat here from eleven until five texting and phoning and complaining on the phone that it took so long. But she never came to the counter to tell us what she was here for. I had to call her to the counter and ask her or she’d still be here. I’m going to order a big flashing sign: “’No service if you don’t tell us what you want.’ But I doubt if it will work.”

I doubt it, too, after reading the stories on NAR.

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #197483 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=197483)
CONNECTICUT, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | JUNE 19, 2020
(The pharmacy that I work for has drive-thru service. I’m servicing a middle-aged woman, customer 1, who is on a phone call via bluetooth while I’m processing her order. The person on the other end of the line is another, louder, woman, customer 2. The first woman is trying to get her to stop talking so she can finish checking out. She’s made at least 2 attempts to get her to stop talking so I can get the necessary information.)
Me: Ok, so just this prescription?
Customer 1: yes and… [customer 2], I’m trying to pick up my order at the pharmacy. Please.
Customer 2**suddenly realizing she’s at the pharmacy**:Oh, you’re at [pharmacy name] on [address]? Can you pick up [customer’s 2 husband’s] prescriptions?
Customer 1:I don’t really have any money to pay for his prescriptions (note: she doesn’t have a co-pay through the insurance, so she wouldn’t necessarily need money to pick up her prescriptions.)
Customer 2: That’s fine, he doesn’t have a co-pay on them anyways
Customer 1: I don’t know if I can combine the orders together **looking at me** can I?
Me: Yes, I didn’t check you out yet, so I can add on his prescriptions.
Customer 1: Do you have his info?
(Customer 2 gives me the necessary personal information. Customer 1 just sort of sits back while I’m collecting the info from customer 2, giving up at trying to control her friend.)
Me: Ok, so that’s everything, anything else?
Customer 2: no, thank you! [Customer 1], thanks for picking them up!
Customer 1: **tiredly** No problem **to me** I’m sorry about her…
(The customer finally leaves, and a pharmacist who has been in the vicinity speaks up.)
Pharmacist: All the crazy people come out at night…

[florida80]

A Typical Good Versus Evil Story
AWESOME, CANADA, INSPIRATIONAL, JERK, PHARMACY | RIGHT | JUNE 17, 2020
I work for a popular drugstore in an upper-class neighbourhood, where customers are usually snotty and entitled. Thirty minutes into my shift, while I am speaking in Spanish to my supervisor, a customer yells at me.

Bad Customer: “I am going to call the head office because you were speaking in Spanish about me!”

After that situation, about an hour before the store closes, a guy comes to buy four chocolate bars. He pays and tells me to pick two.

Good Customer: “I saw everything go down earlier and thought you could use some sweets in your life.”

He came back just to do that. I was so amazed by his kindness.

[florida80]

The Babyface Will Get You Every Time
EMPLOYEES, JERK, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | JUNE 14, 2020
I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder as a pre-teen and have been on meds ever since. I’m in my late twenties but have a babyface.

My doctor has just called in a new prescription for me, as I’ve run out of refills. I’m at the pharmacy and the tech has just brought up my meds.

Tech: “Oh, this is a new prescription. You have to do a consult with the pharmacist.”

Me: “That’s not necessary. I’ve been taking this for a long time.”

Tech: “He wants to speak with you. There’s a note here. I’ll be right back.”

He calls the pharmacist, an older man, over. He gives me a look and starts talking to me in a very patronizing tone.

Pharmacist: “Okay, [My Name]. Now, for [Medicine], you have to take this every day. You can’t skip this. Okay? Do you understand? Because—”

Me: “I’m going to stop you right there. I’ve had [Autoimmune Disorder] for fifteen years and have been taking daily meds for it that entire time. I know exactly what [Medicine] does and how sick I get if I don’t take it.”

Pharmacist: “But this is listed as a new prescription. You haven’t taken this before.”

Me: “Yes, I have. I ran out of refills and my doctor called in a new one. I’ve been on the same dosage for years. Check my fill history. Why do I need a consult, anyway? I’ve never needed one before.”

Pharmacist: “Um… [Tech] will get you rung up now.”

He exited. I didn’t see that pharmacist after that.

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #195948 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=195948)
CONNECTICUT, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | JUNE 8, 2020
(Pharmacy worker here. On some prescriptions, especially high cost prescriptions or ones deemed a controlled substance, the insurance will put a block on the prescription and the phrase “Prior Authorization needed,”or PA, will pop up. This means the prescribing doctor has to call the insurance company and explain the need of the medication for the insurance company to cover the cost. It’s a hassle, especially if it’s a maintenance medication, and usually takes a few business days to clear. Though once a PA is acquired, it’s deemed good for 3-6 months, so is only really necessary a few times a year. I’m working at the register one day when this happens to a woman.)
me: I’m sorry ma’am, but your [prescription] has a PA, and we can’t fill it right now.
Customer: what’s a PA?
(I explain what it means)
Customer: So can’t I just pay for it out of pocket? How much is it?
Me: I don’t have the price, but if you go to drop-off, they can help you with that. Though the PA will only take a couple days to work, and it lasts for a few months.
Customer: So does that mean I have to call the doctor?
Me: No, we’ve already contacted the doctor, but if you want to talk to him to speed things up, that’s your decision.
Customer: Can’t you just tell me the price and I pay it here?
Me: I physically can’t process the prescription here, this is a register computer, it only does what’s filled as of right now.
(We go back and forth like this about PAs, price quotes, insurance, at least 2 more times)
Customer: But why do I need a PA for this? I take it all the time!
Me: I don’t know why the insurance company decided to, but possibly your previous PA ran out, and we just have to renew it.
Customer: So do I call the insurance company?
Me: No, the doctor should be fine. Really, it goes through in less than 3 days most of the time.
Customer: This happens all the time! They NEVER fill my PAs!
(Note: I just had to explain to her what a PA was a few minutes ago, so I highly doubt this happens as often as she makes it out to be.)
Me **exasperated and I want out at this point** then you might want to take that up with your insurance company.
(She seems to get what she wanted to hear at that point, we finish checking out her prescriptions, and she goes presumably to yell at the insurance company. The line has gotten long at this point, and the customer behind her, who has heard the whole thing, rolls his eyes and gives me a sympathetic look.)

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #195926 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=195926)
CONNECTICUT, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | JUNE 7, 2020
(I work in a pharmacy that has a drive thru. We have 2 lanes, and while we can service just about everything from the first lane, the second lane we can only do certain things, due to size limitations on the carrier tube. Another major rule we have is that everyone has to stay in their cars in the drive thru for safety reasons. This is a Sunday afternoon, and my co-worker is servicing a pregnant woman with children in the second lane. Unfortunately, half way through the transaction, we realize we won’t be able to send the prescription by the tube, because it’s a glass bottle. Note: The first lane is empty, as the car that was there previously has jus)
Co-worker: Ma’am, I’m sorry to inform you, but we can’t send your medication through the drive thru, as it’s a glass bottle and could break. If you could just pull into the first lane, we can serve you there.
(The customer instead gets out of the car, runs ACROSS the barrier, and into the first lane. The pharmacist, listening to the exchange while she’s mixing the prescription, panics and runs to the window to meet her)
Pharmacist: Ma’am, please get out of the lane!
Customer: (annoyed) What are you talking to me like that for? But he just told me to come to the first lane.
Pharmacist: He meant to DRIVE into the first lane. It’s dangerous for you to be standing in the first lane.
Customer: Why can’t I be in the first lane?
Pharmacist: If a car comes around the corner, they won’t see you. Could you please at least wait with your car while we finish the prescription?
(The customer walks back across the lane, and waits on the barrier, but doesnt move while we finish her prescription.)
Pharmacist: For god’s sake, that psycho b**** is crazy! She can’t even really run while pregnant.
Me: Never mind she left the car full of kids unattended…
(We finish her prescription, nervously checking that there aren’t any cars coming, and that she’s staying on the barrier. She’s glaring at us annoyed the whole time, and walks up to the first window AGAIN, even though we’ve now told her twice not to do that.)
Pharmacist: Okay, here’s your [prescription], remember to shake it before dosing, and refridgerate.
Customer: You didn’t have to talk like that to me.
Pharmacist: I was just worried, I didn’t want you getting hit by a car.
(She’s still glaring at her when she finally walks away, get’s back in the car, and drives away)

[florida80]

A Rewarding Reveal
AT THE CHECKOUT, PHARMACY, RETAIL, USA | RIGHT | JUNE 6, 2020
I am ringing up a customer and her husband. Our chain’s rewards card gives customers the sale prices and points they can redeem like cash on purchases.

Me: “Are you a rewards card member, ma’am?”

Wife: *Makes a face* “No.”

Husband: “I am!”

He fishes our blue card from his pocket.

Wife: “Why do you have that?!”

The wife turns back to me. I am a little confused.

Wife: “I work for [Competitor]. We’re from Florida.”

Me: “Oh!” *Laughing* “Well, there are three of [My Chain] and just one [Competitor] in our city.”

I gave them directions to “her” chain, describing how close it was to the newest location of my chain; they left while discussing the closeness of the two chains’ stores to each other across the country.

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #195875 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=195875)
PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | JUNE 5, 2020
I work at a well known pharmacy as a cashier. This happened last night before we were about to close. Note the store and pharmacy hours are different for every store. And our hours are listed on the front door as you walk in AND on our website. our pharmacy closes at 9 during the week. A customer comes in and heads straight back to the pharmacy. She’s back there for a few minutes then comes up to the cash register. She asks me to fetch a manager. Here’s their conversation.
Manager: yes can I help you?
Customer: (in an annoyed tone) yes I just wanted to let you know your falsely advertising your store hours and I don’t think that’s right. I needed to pick up some medicine but the pharmacy is closed!
Manager: well our store hours are listed on our website.
Customer: she holds up her phone for my manager to see) that’s where I was looking!
Manager: (looks at the phone) ma’am this isn’t our website. Our hours are listed on our website.
Me: and every store closes at different times. Did you look up this store?
Customer:but this says you close at-!
Manager: we can’t control what other websites say. You can only go by our website.
The customer glares at us and storms out
Me: (to my manager when the customer is gone) don’t you love it when they argue with is about what times we close?

[florida80]

That Flu Right Over Their Head
PHARMACY, USA, WORDPLAY | RIGHT | JUNE 3, 2020
I am a front store supervisor in a popular pharmacy chain, and part of my job is asking each customer if they need help finding anything.

Me: “Can I help you find anything?”

Customer: “I’m looking for Tamiflu.”

Me: “Tamiflu is actually by prescription only, but we have Theraflu over the counter, if that’s what you’re looking for.”

Customer: “Nope, I’m pretty sure it’s Tamiflu.”

Me: *Pause* “Okay, well, all the Theraflu is right here.”

Customer: “Yes, Tamiflu! That’s just what I was looking for.”

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #195828 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=195828)
CONNECTICUT, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | JUNE 3, 2020
(So I work in a high volume pharmacy. We’ve recently gotten a new pharmacy manager, who is trying to problem solve our pharmacy moreso than our previous managers. One of our regulars comes in. For background, he’s often rude to pharmacy workers, and doesn’t call his doctor to get his prescriptions called in, so he either has to wait a few minutes to a few days to get his prescriptions filled which causes him to complain. This particular time, I’m not working the registers, but a newer co-worker is. He’s just told the guy that his prescriptions aren’t in yet, but we’re calling the doctor)
Customer: You guys never have the medicine in! I’m always waiting, you guys just don’t want to call the doctor. Are you trying to kill me?
Manager: Sir, we told you when you came in yesterday that this could take a few days. If you want to talk to your doctor to speed it up, you’re more than welcome to.
Customer: Where’s [male pharmacist]? I want to talk to him! (Note: our manager is female, and the pharmacist he’s requested is not in for the day; she can’t call him in to talk to a customer)
Manager: Sir, I’m the manager, and I have the doctorate that [other pharmacist] doesn’t. If you have a problem, you talk to me, not him.
Customer: Well, he listens better than you guys do, you always screw it up.
(At this point, our manager has had it with this guy as he keeps ranting about”poor service” and “us trying to kill him”. He often complains about how a different pharmacy does prescriptions faster than us, so she uses this info to her advantage.)
Manager: I’m sorry you feel that way. Do you want us to send your prescriptions to [other pharmacy chain]? Since yesterday you said that they do prescriptions quicker, maybe we should just put them there.
(Customer is obviously upset at us calling his bluff, and he’s noticabely deflated instantly. he argues a little more, not half as bad before)
Customer: You’re lucky my sister isn’t here. She’d bust you guys! ( Note: This guy is in his 50s. Pulling the relation card is nothing short of pathetic. He walks off at this point, without prescriptions.)
Me: It’s ok, that guy’s always a jerk.
Manager: If he’s not going to listen to us trying to help, he can go somewhere else. If he doesn’t want to listen, that’s his problem.
(At this point, a co-worker comes back from her break)
Co-worker: I just ran into [Customer]. He was really p****** off, what happened?
(we relate what happened to her, including the sister threat. Everyone is a bit relieved at the idea this guy won’t be coming back soon, and manager gains a new level of respect.)
Co-worker: I’m sure if we do get a cal from his sister, she’s going to be the one apologizing and transfer the prescriptions. (It’s been over a month, and we haven’t seen the guy since)

[florida80]

This Call Gets More Costly The Longer It Goes On
JERK, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA, WISCONSIN | RIGHT | JUNE 1, 2020
We sell reloadable debit cards. You can put $20 to $500 on a card and it has a purchase fee depending on what card you buy. I’m working the front register when this lady calls.

Caller: “How much is the purchase fee on the cards?”

Me: “It’s $2 to $5, depending on the card you buy.”

She pauses for around thirty seconds.

Caller: “Thanks… but that’s not what I’m asking. I’m asking what is the fee on buying one of your reloadable cards.”

I don’t know what to say because that’s literally what I answered. I just say the same thing because I honestly don’t know what to do. She sighs angrily.

Caller: “Thanks, but that’s not what I’m asking! I’m asking what it would cost to buy one of your reloadable cards!”

Me: “Ma’am, the cost to buy them is the amount you want to put on the card, plus a purchase fee of $2 to $5 depending on what card you buy.”

She’s silent for another minute and I honestly think she has hung up, but then she starts yelling again.

Caller: “THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM ASKING! I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT WOULD COST TO PUT $70 ON A RELOADABLE CARD! IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE F***** TALKING ABOUT, THEN JUST GET ME A MANAGER!”

I asked her to please hold and paged a manager to pick up the call. I got to watch as my manager had the exact same phone call I dealt with, and to my knowledge, the lady never got the answer she wanted.

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #195033 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=195033)
PHARMACY, TEXAS, USA | UNFILTERED | MAY 31, 2020
A woman aged at around 40 came to pick up her prescription. I asked for the last name so I could find her in the system. It was a long complex last name, and our system requires full perfect spelling for it to bring it up. She spelled it out slowly and condensing like. I brushed it off and got her prescription from our bin. When I walk back to the counter she throws a coupon at me. I had noticed her prescription was already billed to insurance AND coupon, so I ask her what’s it for.
She rudely says “if you read it, you’d know.”
Me: “the reason I ask is because there is already a coupon applied.”
She says, “Oh, well it must’ve been automatically applied.” (That isn’t possible, we bill them like insurance and it is somewhat a long process, especially when it’s a coordination of benefits).
I say nothing to that and ask her to type in the last 4 digits of her phone number as one of our verification methods.
Rudely again, she snaps “why would I do that?”
I say: “If you want your perscription, you must verify your number.”
Woman: “Well that’s an invasion of my privacy.”
Me: “it’s to ensure the perscription goes to the correct person.”
She reluctantly agrees and she dramatically covers the pin pad all while grumbling as it as if it was a debit pin. (Note: her perscription is in my hand and it contains her full name, address, and the full phone number she partially typed.)
She then begins to make small talk as she hands me her cash. I give her the change, and she stands at the counter staring at the receipt and recounting her change for literally 15 minutes. (Me and my coworkers counted.)
Since I am fairly new, my coworkers explained that she is notorious for being rude. When she comes through drive through, apparently she doesn’t speak a single word. She just throws her credit card into the drawer and expects us to know that she’s picking up.)

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #195023 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=195023)
PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | MAY 30, 2020
(I’m working in the front end of the pharmacy on the evening shift. It’s been pretty slow, and most of the customers around this time are pretty low matinence, so I’m pretty much just recalling a script.)

Customer: *Swipes his card, then begins struggling to get out his ID*

(Unless the register prompts us, we’re not required to see ID, so I interupt)

Me: “Oh, I don’t need to see your ID.

Customer: “Yes you do.” *Presents his card to me; in lue of a signature, he’s written ‘See ID’* “Personal safety, bub.”

(I humored him and examined the card and ID, and let him on his way. This ‘See ID’ thing has become somewhat common recently, but his cocky comment about ‘Personal safety’ really irked me. If anyone unathorized had actually been using his card, I wouldn’t have asked for ID. In fact, I wouldn’t have even had the opportunity to see the signature space, as the customers swipe their own cards. He’s just making it harder for himself for no reason!)

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #195015 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=195015)
PHARMACY, TEXAS, USA | UNFILTERED | MAY 30, 2020
I work as a pharmacy clerk, checking out patients with their prescriptions. Our card readers are a little behind schedule, only being updated to take debit in 2015, and the lack of card reader for the new chips cards come with has caused some confusion. A coworker made some bright pink signs reading “Sorry no chip” and taped them over the card slots at each card reader. Despite this, customers still asked daily:

“‘Sorry no chip.’ What does that mean?”

“No chip? Does that mean you can’t take cards?”

*trying to lift the pink note and insert their card* “So do y’all take the chip yet?”

[florida80]

Maybe She Should Take Half The Normal Dose Of That?
FRANCE, PARIS, PHARMACY, WORDPLAY | RIGHT | MAY 29, 2020
I’m a customer, waiting to have my prescription filled. One of my medicines is called UVdose.

Near me, another customer, an elderly lady, is asking for the same one.

Lady: “Oh, yes, I forgot! I need a box of overdose!”

[florida80]

We Know A Few People Who Could Use That Procedure
IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, JERK, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 27, 2020
I’m a pharmacy technician at a national pharmacy chain. On this particular morning, it’s just me and the pharmacist working. About two minutes after opening, an old woman comes up to the register.

Me: “Good morning. Could I get your name and date of birth, please?”

She gives me her name and birthday. I punch her information into the register and see that we have a prescription ready for her. I grab her prescription from the bin.

Me: “Okay, so, I’ve got your [commonly used blood pressure medication] ready for you.”

Customer: “No, no, no! I don’t need that; I need my Valium!”

From having entered her information into the register, I know we do not have any Valium ready for her, nor are we currently working on any for her. However, if a patient’s medication is on hold, or if we’ve just received it from the doctor and haven’t entered it yet, it won’t show up on the register. I inform the woman there’s no Valium in process for her but that I will check my computer to see if we have any for her.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t have any Valium in my system for you anywhere. It’s possible that the doctor’s office hasn’t sent it to us yet; I would recommend that you give the office a call.”

Customer: *Now furious with me* “No! You’re lying! I know they sent it to you! They sent it to you yesterday and I need it now because I’m having brain surgery in forty-five minutes at [Hospital in a town thirty minutes away]!”

I’m just dumbstruck that someone would plan this poorly, but I maintain my professional composure.

Me: “I’m so sorry, ma’am, but I have not received any Valium prescription for you.”

Customer: “Well, this is just f****** ridiculous. This kind of s*** is why I changed pharmacies months ago.”

Me: *Slight pause* “Well, then… perhaps your prescription was sent to your current pharmacy?”

Customer: “No! I know for a fact that it was sent to you because I was standing right there when the doctor called you!”

I know this is a lie because of two things. First, doctors never call prescriptions in themselves; they have a nurse or receptionist do it. And second, Valium is a class IV controlled substance and therefore, in our state, it can only be sent to the pharmacy electronically, not over the phone.

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but again, I don’t have any prescription here for you. My best recommendation would be that you call the doctor and ask them to send it again as soon as possible.”

Customer: “No, there’s no time for that. When I get there, I’m gonna tell them it’s your fault that I have to postpone this operation!”

The woman storms off and I walk back to my workstation, almost in a daze.

Pharmacist: “Well, if she’s having brain surgery, I hope that means they’re going to install one.”

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #194923 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=194923)
IOWA, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | MAY 25, 2020
(I’m a Certified Pharmacy Technician. It’s a pretty busy day at the Pharmacy. An older –but not elderly– woman walks up to pick up her prescriptions. I start taking care of her and then she explains she needs to get her insulin syringes refilled as well. I look at her profile to get the syringes refilled. As it turns out, it’s about 17 days too soon to get them refilled. I explain this to her)

Customer: No, that’s not right! I’m all out.

ME: Well, you’re using them once a day, correct?

Customer: No, the doctor told me to use them twice a day.

ME: Right, well, we need that as a new prescription from him.

Customer: But he told me..

ME: Yes, ma’am, I understand that he told you that, but your insurance won’t let us put it through until we have the new prescription with the correct instructions. So we just sent a fax requesting the new prescription from your doctor with new instructions.

Customer: Well, what am I supposed to do until he approves it? I’m all out!

ME: Well, we sell a ten pack of insulin syringes for $7 if you’d like to buy some.

Customer: Yeah, I’ll take the box then.

ME: No, ma’am, I can’t sell you the entire box without a prescription. I can only sell you a ten-pack from the box. That’s ten syringes for $7.

Customer: No! That’s too expensive!

ME: (obviously weary. shrugs)

Customer: Well, what am I supposed to do?!

ME:(weary smile) Buy a ten-pack for $7? (Customer leaves after paying for her other prescriptions which she also gave me a hard time about. Claiming that they needed to be paid for on separate cards even though she had not informed me of this. I’m so sorry ma’am. I must have forgotten to turn on my telepathic abilities for you!)

Pharmacist: $7 too expensive for 10 syringes?

ME: The tweakers that come in here never gripe about paying $7 for clean needles.

[florida80]

Five Little Cents Of Pure Evil
AT THE CHECKOUT, CANADA, JERK, PHARMACY | RIGHT | MAY 24, 2020
It’s seniors day at the drug store where I work. Usually, the worst customers are on seniors day, and this one is no exception. I am serving an older woman at the cash register.

Me: “Did you need a bag at all?”

Customer: “Do you charge for bags?”

Me: “Yes, 5¢ a bag.”

Customer: “Hmph, I knew when I saw you; some people are just evil.”

Me: “All the money from the bags goes to [Store] foundation!”

I finished serving her and she left without a bag, but she continued to rant at me about being evil as she left and as she got her stuff together on a bench in the mall just outside the store.

[florida80]

Sometimes People Forget Things — Like How To Be Nice
CHILE, EMPLOYEES, JERK, PHARMACY, SANTIAGO | WORKING | MAY 15, 2020
I’m at the pharmacy of an organization that sells medications for specific conditions at a slightly lower price than regular pharmacies. Most of the employees are friendly, or at least polite, but this day is a little different.

Employee: “How can I help you?”

Me: “I need to buy some medications. My ID number is [number].”

Employee: “[My Name]?”

Me: “Yep!”

Employee: “Okay, so, you need [Medication #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ], right? That’s the only one on here.”

Me: *Thinking* “Oh, no… I forgot again!”

Employee: “Because the prescription for [Medication #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] is expired—”

I’m about to say, “Oops, I forgot.”

Employee: “—so did you remember or did you not even do anything about it?”

He does not say this in a friendly tone. He isn’t joking or anything. It seems pretty harsh.

Me: “Umm… Okay, I’ll come back later.”

I left and texted my doctor to get another script. She wrote it up quickly and I was able to get the medication the same day, luckily from a different employee. It wasn’t like he yelled at me or anything; I was just really surprised at how judgemental he seemed, especially considering the issues that my medications are usually used to treat. Sigh.

[florida80]

A Little Flu Jab Of Kindness
AWESOME, HEALTH & BODY, INSPIRATIONAL, MONEY, NON-DIALOGUE, PHARMACY, RHODE ISLAND, USA | RIGHT | MAY 15, 2020
I am seventeen, living away from home during high school. I contract the flu, so I go to the pharmacy and they prescribe me Tamiflu.

Because I am out of state, my insurance doesn’t cover it. The woman behind the counter says it will cost $100. I am already emotional because I am sick and away from home. I know my mom would pay for the medication, but it would be tight. I start crying by the counter.

The lady who filled my prescription hands me tissues and says she is sorry, but she can’t do anything about the cost. I fill the prescription and sit down in the waiting area.

A couple of minutes later, the woman comes over to me and says, “I went looking in our database, and I found a coupon for your medication. It will only cost you $40.”

I will never forget her kindness in my time of need.

[florida80]

The Flu Shot Isn’t Hazardous, But The Nurses Might Be!
IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, JERK, NURSES, PHARMACY, UK | HEALTHY | MAY 10, 2020
I have just had a flu shot. As I have a fear of needles, I tend to get quite dizzy and sweaty beforehand, and it takes me a couple of minutes for me to recover afterward. I’m sitting in a chair when the woman who gave me the shot comes over.

Woman: “You didn’t say you were allergic to eggs?”

Me: “I’m not.”

Woman: “Well, you are. It’s very stupid that you didn’t tell the truth. Now I’m going to have to phone for an ambulance.”

Me: “No, I’m just feeling a bit sickly. I’m not allergic to eggs.”

She is already on the phone talking to someone saying “how stupid” I am. By the time an ambulance arrives, I’m already better and trying to leave, but the woman is refusing to let me. When the paramedics come in, I’m forced onto a gurney while the woman talks over me.

Paramedic: “Okay, the pharmacist says you have an egg allergy. Did you know before having your shot?”

Me: “I do not have an egg allergy!”

Paramedic: “Are you certain?”

Me: “Do I look like I’m having a reaction? I’ve had these shots every year of my life, and if you don’t believe me, I had three eggs in the cafe next door for breakfast. Ask them!”

The paramedic checked me over just to be sure before leaving. I was left alone with the woman. She tutted at me and disappeared through a door. I’m never going back.

[florida80]

This Parent Is Way Out Of Line
AT THE CHECKOUT, BAD BEHAVIOR, CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, INDIANA, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MAY 5, 2020
I regularly stop by a specific drugstore after I get off work around 10:00 pm. I stop to get milk because it’s really cheap, and I always just want to get in and out because I’m tired.

Tonight, there is seemingly no one in the store until I go to the register, where there are five people in line. It’s a store that doesn’t really have a designated line area; you just kind of step up to the counter, so lines can form awkwardly around displays.

I wait and have to step back for a father and daughter in front of me to pick out candy for the rest of the family; no big deal. As soon as they check out, I step up to the counter and put the gallon of milk on it. Suddenly, a woman with wild, ratty hair comes bursting in the store and shoves into me.

Me: “Excuse me!”

Wild Lady: “I was here first! You cut me!”

Me: “Um…”

The cashier, a really sweet teenage girl, steps up and speaks to the wild lady.

Cashier: “No, ma’am, I’m sorry. She was here first. You just walked in.”

Wild Lady: “Shut it. You cut. Anyway, I need less stuff than you, so I get to go first!”

The cashier is ringing me out the entire time, scanning my store card, telling me to swipe my debit. We are both trying to ignore her. My transaction usually only takes a minute anyway.

Me: “Ma’am, I’m almost finished. The receipt is printing. And, anyway, it’s not possible to actually buy something and have less stuff than me. I have one thing.”

Wild Lady: “I left my car running! I should go first!”

The cashier and I exchange wide-eyed looks and just ignore her.

Wild Lady: “Well, I left my kid in the car so you need to let me go!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m done now anyway, but this is a low-income, urban area, and it’s 10:00 at night. I would definitely never leave my car running, and I would never even consider leaving my kid in it. I have half a mind to call CPS now.”

Wild Lady: “Whatever!”

The wild lady turns to the cashier.

Wild Lady: “I need seven cartons of [Cigarettes], girl. Be quick!”

I left, wild-eyed. I checked, and there really was a three-year-old in the car with no one else, and it was running and unlocked.

Not three minutes later, as I was going through an intersection, she blazed through the red light and almost T-boned me. To come from that direction, she also had to turn left illegally at another intersection.

I followed her home and called the cops. I hope that poor child is okay.

[florida80]

Within Striking Distance
CURRENT EVENTS, HEALTH & BODY, INDIANA, JERK, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MAY 4, 2020
With social distancing in full swing, we have spaces on the carpet in front of the counter indicating every six feet so customers can keep their distance. One customer comes up to the pickup area and squirts several applications worth of hand sanitizer on her hands to the point of dripping.

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Hi. Do you have any thermometers in stock?”

Me: “I’m sorry; we’re sold out.”

The customer grumbles and goes to turn around to leave but sees another customer about four feet behind her. She waves her dripping, sanitizer-covered hands around in surprise, causing some sanitizer to fling into the face of the customer behind her, hitting her eye.

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Social distancing! Social distancing! You need to stand back!”

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Lady, you just got hand sanitizer in my eye!”

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “I don’t care! You could have killed me!”

[Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] stormed off. [Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] was fine but obviously confused as to why she was yelled at for basically standing there.

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A Life-Long Member Of The Hoarding Club
CURRENT EVENTS, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, JERK, PHARMACY, SWEDEN | RIGHT | APRIL 27, 2020
Most people are hoarding stuff they think they absolutely must have during a possible quarantine, while some people don’t seem to understand that the stores don’t have unlimited stocks.

Older Lady: “I need hand sanitizer!”

Pharmacy Staff: “I’m sorry, but we are sold out.”

Older Lady: “But I’m a MEMBER!”

Yes, lady, you and the rest of this country’s population.

[florida80]

Did You Try Reading The Directions?
PHARMACY, RHODE ISLAND, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 25, 2020
A customer comes up to me with a book and a pair of reading glasses.

Customer: “Hi. I have a question. Maybe you can help me.”

Me: “Okay. I can try.”

Customer: “My doctor told me I should get reading glasses, but I don’t understand. Do I put the glasses on over my others? I asked my doctor and he didn’t answer me.”

Me: “Um… no. You just put the reading glasses on.”

Customer: “Oh. Okay. I mean, I can see the writing better this way, but I don’t know why my doctor wouldn’t answer when I asked him. I mean, how am I supposed to wear two pairs of glasses?”

[florida80]

“Opportunistic” Might Be Less Harsh
CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, FINLAND, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | APRIL 23, 2020
Customer: “To whom can I give this medical waste?”

I notice that the product contains a mild opiate.

Me: “You can give it to me; I’ll make sure it’s properly discarded.”

Customer: “Yeah, I figured that I could have made some money selling it on the street, but that would have been too much of a hassle!”

Me: “Not to mention illegal…”

[florida80]

Definitely The Wrong Call
ALBERTA, CANADA, EMPLOYEES, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | APRIL 19, 2020
I see a missed call on my phone and recognize the number from a store where I used to work over ten years ago. I check my voicemail and it’s from the pharmacy.

Pharmacy: “Hi, [My Name], it’s [Store Pharmacy]. We aren’t able to get your prescription in; can you call us back?”

I moved my prescriptions since I quit and haven’t been to the doctor recently, so I call back, confused.

Pharmacy: “Hello, [Story Pharmacy], how can I help you?”

Me: “My name is [My Name] and I just had a missed call about a prescription?”

Pharmacy: “Yes, we aren’t able to order the cream in but we called [Doctor] to ask about an alternative.”

Me: “That’s not my prescription; I haven’t had anything filled there in years. It must be for someone else?”

Pharmacy: “Is your name [Full Name]?”

Me: “Yes.”

Pharmacy: “Is your phone number [number I called from]?”

Me: “Yes.”

Pharmacy: “Is your birthdate June 2—”

I cut them off.

Me: “That is not my birthdate; I’m not allowed to hear that information. This is someone else’s prescription.”

Pharmacist: “Oh, sorry about that, then!”

Am I glad I switched pharmacies…

[florida80]

Birth Control Doesn’t Just Control Birth
EMPLOYEES, ILLINOIS, JERK, PHARMACY, USA | WORKING | APRIL 15, 2020
(I am on birth control due to uncontrollable periods. I have it set on autofill. I get a notice that my autofill is delayed. I call the pharmacy to find out when it will be ready.)

Rep: *in a snotty tone* “The birth control? Well, probably about a week.”

Me: “Come again?”

Rep: *sighs* “A week. We have to get it from another location.”

Me: “It takes a week to do that?”

Rep: “Yes.”

Me: “Uh… is there any chance of getting it sooner?”

Rep: “Well, instead of us having them drive it here, you could go get it yourself.”

Me: “Where’s the closest pharmacy that has it?”

Rep: “Nearest available fill is [Town two hours north]. They can get it for you today.”

(This particular town and the surrounding area are under an ice storm warning.)

Me: “That’s the area that’s getting that ice storm.”

Rep: “Yep.”

Me: “Are you telling me that there is no [Medicine] in the entire city and I have to drive two hours into an ice storm?!”

Rep: “Yes.”

Me: “Look, I know this is birth control, but I use it to control my cycle. Otherwise, I get very sick when my period shows up. Now, are you sure there’s none in town, anywhere?”

Rep: *pause* “Well, there’s some at [Location ten minutes away]. They can have it here tonight.”

Me: “THANK YOU!”

(I filed a complaint with the store. They claimed that the rep was in the call center and they couldn’t do anything about it. I switched my prescriptions to their main competitor after that. Haven’t had an issue since!)

[florida80]

Harmacist
AUSTRALIA, BAD BEHAVIOR, EMPLOYEES, PHARMACY | WORKING | APRIL 14, 2020
Pharmacist: “[My Name], come here now.“

Me: “*immediately scared knowing I’ve done nothing wrong* “Yes?”

Pharmacist: “Care to explain why you did the stocktake of [Manager]’s area incorrectly and why on [Day I don’t work] the wall display isn’t complete like I asked?”

Me: “Sorry? Well, firstly, I don’t work on [Day] and was not here on [Day], and secondly, the wall display did not get done because, as you would have seen in my note, we had a gentleman come in with a severe concussion, his head was bleeding non-stop, and he was confused and dizzy, so we called an ambulance. [Other Pharmacist] and I were both by ourselves during a busy period so we had to prioritise the customer. By the time we had called the ambulance and assisted the gentleman and paramedics, and cleared the customers who said they were okay to wait and [Other Pharmacist] and I were doing really good and the right thing, it was time to go. [Other Pharmacist] had to leave on time so I was unable to stay back. As you would know, an assistant cannot stay back if there is no pharmacist present.”

Pharmacist: “That is no excuse! Do you have some sort of brain disorder? You should have left the patient and done what you were told! As for the stocktake, everyone else here denies doing it incorrectly. So it must have been you. You must have snuck in without us knowing.”

(I ended up leaving shortly after this incident. This was the last straw from years of bullying. To this day, I’m still scared by the bullying I received from these people)

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #191460 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=191460)
CALIFORNIA, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | APRIL 3, 2020
(I am standing AT the register RINGING and BAGGING a customer when another customer walks up to the register)
Customer: “excuse me! Do you work here?!”