Have A Heart, Use Your Brain

[florida80]

Have A Heart, Use Your Brain
ESTONIA, HOSPITAL, JERK, PATIENTS, STUPID | HEALTHY | AUGUST 17, 2020
This story was told by my neighbour. She is waiting at the hospital for an appointment with an orthopaedist. Her number is called, but before she can stand up and go to the correct office, another woman quickly runs in before her. Puzzled, my neighbour goes to the receptionist.

Neighbour: “Excuse me, could you please help me? I have an appointment with [Doctor], but another lady ran in when my number was called. I have been waiting for that appointment and I would hate to miss it.”

Receptionist: “What? Please, come with me.”

She marches to the doctor’s office with my neighbour following her and opens the door to the office where the doctor is just starting with the woman who stormed in.

Receptionist: “Is your name Mrs. [Neighbour]? And was your number [number #1]?”

Woman: “No, my name is [Woman]. And my number is [number #2].”

Receptionist: *Looking puzzled* “[Number #2]? Isn’t that a number used in a different building? Cardiology?”

Woman: “Look, I found a parking spot closer to here and I’m in a hurry. Do I really have to go to a different building? Couldn’t this doctor look at me now?”

Orthopaedist: “Given that my office is not equipped for diagnosing heart issues, it would be useless. Please leave.”

[florida80]

Doctor Obvious Is Afoot
CURRENT EVENTS, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, MEDICAL OFFICE, NON-DIALOGUE, USA, VANCOUVER, WASHINGTON | HEALTHY | AUGUST 14, 2020
I’ve had severe pain in both of my feet on and off for two years. I’ve been diagnosed with tendonitis, mild tendon tears, plantar fasciitis, Morton’s neuroma, and arthritis. I’ve tried everything that two doctors have suggested, plus a few things I learned about doing my own research. I’ve also had an MRI.

I’m getting pretty desperate for relief. This means that I’m willing to see a doctor despite the rapidly spreading illness going around, even though I’m at extremely high risk for it.

At my most recent appointment, the doctor proudly announced that I had metatarsalgia. This was a fancy way of saying that the bones in my feet hurt. No kidding, doc! He recommended highly cushioned shoes — which is all I’d been able to wear for two years — and that’s it.

I’ll be seeking out yet another doctor for this.

[florida80]

They Might Be Coming On To Something…
ARIZONA, CURRENT EVENTS, HEALTH & BODY, HOSPITAL, PHOENIX, RUDE & RISQUE, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 10, 2020
A bit of backstory for anyone reading old stories years from now: there’s a global health crisis going on, and a lot of people are acting like it’s either fake or no big deal. I’m waiting for an x-ray, and I overhear some medical workers talking.

Worker #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Did you hear that [disease] causes a loss of ability to orgasm?”

Worker #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “No! Where did you hear that?”

Worker #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “My girlfriend and I made it up, but if we spread that around, maybe people would actually care.”

[florida80]

Check Yourself Before You Wreck Someone Else
ENGLAND, FRIENDS, GYM, HEALTH & BODY, INSTANT KARMA, JERK, NON-DIALOGUE, SPORTS, SPORTS CENTER, UK | HEALTHY | AUGUST 6, 2020
This took place about eight years ago. My younger brother and I join a group of guys for a game of indoor football — soccer — at our local sports centre every weekend. Everyone else is college age, seventeen or eighteen, while I am the eldest at twenty.

Things go by smoothly. One of the guys is a friend of ours, and there is a clear mix of ability so there is little in the way of unbalanced teams. Nonetheless, one of the guys is super competitive and continually body-checks others into the walls in order to tackle them. As the eldest in the group, I have de facto responsibility to ensure everyone’s health and safety, so I gently ask him at the end of the session to tone down his tackling, since he could seriously injure or be injured in doing so. As I feared, he simply brushes it off and says everything will be fine.

Cut to a few weeks later. My brother is unable to come with so it is just me this time. Everything goes fine until a harsh tackle from me on another guy causes me to roll my ankle, causing me to fall hard on my lower back. As play stops, the idiot I mentioned has the brilliant idea of grabbing me by the arms and ankles and carrying me away from the playing area!

While they carry on their game without a care in the world, I am lying there in agony. Between the now worsened ankle injury, they also jarred my lower back by unceremoniously dumping me on the floor. My friend stops playing and comes over to see if I’m okay. I immediately order him to get a member of staff, which he does. When the on-duty first aider — also the manager — arrives, the guys laugh and tell me to “stop acting like a p****,” to which my friend replies that this is serious.

An ambulance is called and my mother arrives after my friend used my phone to call her. About six hours later, I leave the local hospital on crutches with a severe high ankle sprain and strained lower lumbar muscles, and a metric crapload of various prescription painkillers. The following morning, my ankle has swelled to twice the size and looks the colour of a ripe blackberry. I take a photo for my university as proof — I commute to the uni and will be in no shape to get there for at least a week, maybe even two — and settle in to working out how to use my crutches effectively.

Six months later, I start training again to get my fitness back, and my brother and I go back to the football group. Naturally, they laugh that I took half a year off for “diving”…

…until I wordlessly walk up to the idiot in charge and show him the photo of my blackberry-coloured, inflated ankle. I stress my warning back to him from way before, and I swear I have never seen the colour fade so fast from someone seeing consequences of their actions.

Nowadays, my ankle is fully functional, if slightly more tender, while my lower back has developed into full-on sciatica. Still enjoy football, though!

[florida80]

Just Call Him Hal
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, NEW HIRES, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 2, 2020
I’m a nurse on a busy med surge floor. Shift change has just occurred. My CNA calls me to let me know one of my patients’ blood pressure readings is high. I pull up the chart, check the newest results, and realize their drug test is positive for absolutely everything drug we test for and they also have a very high alcohol score. I go into the room to access my patient and as soon as I get in, I know they are starting to go through withdrawals.

I call the doctor immediately to get a drug and alcohol withdrawal medication bundle on. I end up getting a brand-new resident. I introduce myself and explain the issue.

Me: “…and I need a stat order on the drug and alcohol withdrawal med bundle. Thanks!”

Resident: “I’m new; I don’t know what that is.”

Me: “No problem.”

I list the meds I need, the dosages, frequency, etc.

Resident: “I can’t write those orders; those are controlled medications.”

Some of them are, but most are anti-nausea and anti-diarrhea meds.

Me: “You’re a doctor; you can write controlled meds. This is a standard medication bundle for this issue.”

Resident: “I don’t think I can write those.”

Me: “Is [Doctor] there? Can you put him on speaker, please?”

He does and I repeat the request.

Doctor: *To the resident* “Start typing what the nurse tells you.”

Resident: “But I can’t write those orders; they are controlled.”

Doctor: “I’m only going to tell you this once more. Put in all the orders the nice nurse tells you right now. We have a patient who is about to go into severe drug withdrawals. She is trying to avoid the massive projectile vomiting, diarrhea, and seizures that are about to happen. Nurse [My Name], how long do you think we have?”

Me: “Thirty minutes, maybe less. They are already starting to sweat and look a bit green around the gills.”

The new resident was still arguing with the doctor that he couldn’t write those orders. The doc got fed up with him and told him that from then on he was to write every effing order I told him. I got my orders.

A few days later, the new resident was on the floor. I went up to get a med order and he started again with the “I don’t think I’m allowed to write that.” I smiled and let him know that I was nurse [My Name], and that he might remember that the doctor in charge of him told him not to argue with me about med orders. I did have to show him how to put them on, but it got done.

The other nurses asked how I managed to get orders out of him because he’d been pulling the same garbage with all of them. The doctor ended up giving him blanket orders that he was to listen to the nurses, and if he really wasn’t sure to call him or the pharmacist, but he was not allowed to utter “I don’t think I can write that” ever again.

We are wondering if he’ll last through the end of the month.

[florida80]

Whatever She Saw, They Had It Comin’
AWESOME, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, MEDICAL OFFICE, NON-DIALOGUE, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 1, 2020
I’m usually pretty chatty with my doctors; I’ve learned that they have seen and heard much more shocking stories than mine since I live a pretty boring and standard life. Every time I get a new doctor, I’m sure to be honest and unashamed because they kind of need to know things like that.

I start rambling this point to a new doctor and point out how she’s probably dealt with more embarrassing things than someone being a virgin when asked about their sexual history.

She gives me a knowing look and then says, “I was an ER doctor in Chicago.”

Now I definitely know that there’s no scaring her!

[florida80]

We Need No Further Evidence Regarding Her Sanity
BIZARRE, JERK, NEW YORK, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | JULY 31, 2020
I work in a pharmacy and I get a call from an older customer.

Me: “[Pharmacy], how can I help you?”

Customer: “You gave me the wrong pills!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am; did the bag have your name on it?”

Customer: “It’s my name, but the wrong pills are in the bottle!”

Me: “It’s possible we refilled one of your other prescriptions on fi—”

Customer: “No! The wrong pills are in the bottle!”

Me: “All right, can I have the number on the bottle?”

Customer: “Oh, no, you don’t! I’m not giving that to you.”

Me: “All right, can I have your name, please?”

Customer: “No! I’m on to your tricks!”

Me: “Ma’am, I need to look up your file so I can figure out what the problem is.”

Customer: “No, you don’t! I know your sly ways. You’re just going to change my file so you can cover up your mistake!”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t have that ability. I’d like to help give you the proper medication. Can you please tell me your name?”

Customer: “No! You’re going to change the names of the medications on my chart to hide your screwup!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, can you come back to the store so I can verify the wrong pills were given?”

Customer: “No! I’m holding onto this bottle! It’s evidence!”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t change any ‘evidence,’ since you have a printed label on the bottle. Can you tell me the name of the medication?”

Customer: “No! Do you think I’m stupid? I’m not telling you anything!”

Me: *Sigh* “Okay, ma’am, if you won’t let me see your file or the pills, and you won’t bring it back, then what would you like me to do?”

Customer: “I want you to know that you’re a horrible pharmacy. And you are a terrible person!”

Me: “Excuse me? I’m trying to help—”

Customer: “No, you are an awful person! You don’t deserve to be in business, trying to poison me with the wrong pills!”

Me: “Well, can you describe them to me? Are they white? Oval?”

Customer: “I’m not telling! You are a bad person!”

Me: “Ma’am, I would really like to help you, if you could give me some informati—”

Customer: “No, you don’t! Shame on you for trying to kill me and then hiding the evidence!”

She hung up.

[florida80]

A Pathological Need To Be Cautious
AUSTRALIA, CURRENT EVENTS, HEALTH & BODY, MEDICAL OFFICE, NEW SOUTH WALES | HEALTHY | JULY 30, 2020
I finally have an in-person appointment with a psychologist after having several phone appointments during the global health crisis. The secretary calls me the day before to do what is now the usual health check.

Secretary: “Hello, [My Name], is now a good time to ask you a few questions before your appointment tomorrow with [Psychologist]?”

Me: “Yes, absolutely.”

Secretary: “Oh, great. Have you had any coughs, fevers, sore throat, or body aches and pains?”

Me: “No, to the cough, fever, and sore throat, but the body aches and pains are common with my fibromyalgia.”

Secretary: “That should be fine. Have you been overseas or in Victoria in the last fourteen days?”

Me: “No.”

Secretary: “Okay, and have you been in contact with anyone who could have [spreading illness] recently?”

Me: “I work in a pathology lab.”

Secretary: “Oh. Um… I don’t know what to say to that.”

She laughs awkwardly.

Me: “I was tested a week ago and I was clear. But I also appreciate it if you don’t want me in the building; I can have a phone appointment again.”

Secretary: “Um, do you mind if I go and ask?”

Me: “Go for it. Just call me back. This isn’t the first time I have flustered people.”

Secretary: “Thank you for being so understanding! I will call you back soon.”

Me: “All good.”

They are going to let me in.

[florida80]

Need Something Stronger To Deal With This Doctor
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, SINGAPORE | HEALTHY | JULY 29, 2020
I suffer from chronic gastritis. Most doctors who do not realise the severity of my condition will prescribe a mild drug that is not strong enough. I often have to request something stronger.

At the clinic, I get a very condescending doctor who looks down her nose on the patients, as though she thinks she’s too good to waste her time on us. She doesn’t even look at me the entire time while I describe my symptoms but stares somewhere to my right, and she talks to me as though I am a five-year-old kid.

Doctor: “This is just a stomach ache. I’ll give you [Drug #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ].”

Me: “I’ve taken that before; it’s too mild. Can I have [Drug #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ], instead?”

Doctor: “You don’t need that. [Drug #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] is good enough.”

Me: “I have a history of chronic gastritis. I’ve taken [Drug #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] before; it’s not strong enough.”

Doctor: *Even more condescendingly* “Oh, what medicine do you want to take, then?”

Me: “I’ve taken [Drug #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ]; it’s more effective.”

Doctor: “I’ve never heard of that medicine. Are you sure of the name?”

I figure I may be mispronouncing the name because, after all, I’m not a doctor. I try to describe it.

Me: “I’m not sure if I’m mispronouncing it. It’s by the same company as [Drug #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] but with three active ingredients instead of two. It comes in a green bottle.”

Doctor: *More condescendingly than ever* “Well, girl, I can give you something else, but I can’t guarantee it will come in a green bottle.”

Me: “Do you think I’m two years old? Wanting a medicine for the colour of the bottle like candy? I’m describing it to you in simple terms since you don’t seem to know which drug it is.”

The doctor looked stunned like she didn’t think I was smart enough to know the difference. She sputtered something and changed the prescription. I ignored her, checked the prescription to see that she did give me the stronger drug, and left without saying another word to her.

[florida80]

When Patients Have No Patience
EMERGENCY SERVICES, GERMANY, HOME, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS | HEALTHY | JULY 29, 2020
Sometimes, when we go to patient’s homes to get them to the hospital, we can’t bring them to the closest one because it’s full. This patient was set to go to the closest, but it was not possible.

Patient’s Wife: “So, you’ll bring him to [Hospital], right?”

Colleague: “Ma’am, [Hospital] is currently full.”

He opens the website that shows the availability of hospitals in the area.

Colleague: “See? It’s red. We could bring your husband to [List Of Different Hospitals in the area].”

Patient’s Wife: “But he has always been treated at [Hospital]! They know him there!”

Colleague: “They might know him, but that doesn’t mean they can magically fit him in the already full hospital.”

Patient’s Wife: “This is outrageous! My husband’s sick and you refuse to get him to the hospital!”

Me: “No, ma’am. We simply can’t get him to [Hospital]. But we’re offering you hospitals in the area that’ll surely treat him just as well. Just give us the physician letters from the hospital and the other hospital will surely know how to proceed and properly treat him.”

Patient’s Wife: “I demand you call the hospital and ask if you can bring him!”

My colleague and I look at each other and sigh. He starts calling the hospital. He explains the situation to the woman sitting at the ER desk. He then puts her on speaker.

Woman At The ER Desk: “Ma’am, we are pretty busy here. The paramedics could bring him here, but he would have to wait a very long time until he’s being treated.”

Patient’s Wife: “I don’t care! He has to be at [Hospital]!”

My colleague and I shrugged and decided to just drive the patient to the hospital. We dropped him off, apologizing quietly to the ER staff for giving them more work. A few hours later, as we passed by the ER to pick a patient up to drive them home again, we saw the woman loudly complaining to the ER desk and asking why it was taking so long for her husband to be treated. My colleague and I just looked at each other, shook our heads, and moved on with our days.

[florida80]

Probably Should Have Asked Beforehand
PATIENTS, PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | JULY 28, 2020
My mom works as a night pharmacist in a retail chain.

Patient: “Hi, I had surgery the other day, and I just wanted to know what I had removed.”

Mom: “You would have to call your surgeon’s office. I can’t look that up.”

Patient: “But he’s so hard to get a hold of, and everyone always says if you have a question to ask your pharmacist!”

Mom: “That’s not really how it works.”

Everyone always says she should have just said “lobotomy.”

[florida80]

She Blinded Me With Science! Kind Of.
COLLEGE & UNIVERSITY, HEALTH & BODY, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NON-DIALOGUE, STUDENTS, TEACHERS, USA | HEALTHY | JULY 27, 2020
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

I am an exercise science major. For one of my classes, we have to perform a treadmill test on one student and use the data collected for a lab write-up.

The day of the lab, my class prior to this is also in the exercise science laboratory, so I am sitting in a chair inside when my professor walks in. She asks me to come and help her set up the lab because I did the same lab with the same professor last semester for a different class.

I go in and start to put together the headpiece that will monitor the subject’s breathing. The rest of the small class walks in — only five people — and they stand around talking amongst themselves until the professor asks them who is going to be the subject. They decide to use “nose goes” to determine who the subject will be.

I do not participate because I have gloves on to keep the headpiece sanitary — it goes inside of the subject’s mouth — and I kind of assume I am exempt from this because I am basically setting up the whole lab by myself. The only things that have to be done after this are connecting the headpiece to a tube and writing down the data that a computer collects for us.

The other students don’t care about this and tell me that I have to be the subject because I lost “nose goes.” I agree because I’m not a confrontational person due to my severe anxiety. So, the professor and one other student help me put on the headpiece. As they are putting it on, the professor tells me she is taking off my glasses to get it on, but she’ll put them back on before the test starts. The professor then gets distracted because my heart rate monitor is not working and forgets about my glasses.

This is a very big problem because I am almost legally blind with my glasses, and I try to tell her this, but I can’t speak due to the headpiece. So, they start the treadmill and I quickly realize how bad this is. The treadmill is all black, so I am unable to tell the difference between the belt and the plastic siding. During the first minute of the test, I step too far forward, partway onto the front plastic, and almost trip.

This sends me into panic mode, because I know I am going to fall, hurt myself, and completely embarrass myself by the end of this fifteen-minute test. I try to hold onto the sides of the treadmill for security, but the professor hits my hands away and tells me I can’t do this. So, I start to flap my hands, one of my stims that I use to calm myself when I get incredibly anxious.

At the three-minute mark, another student holds a paper in front of my face to determine my rating of perceived exertion, or how hard I feel the test is at this point. I try to tell them I can’t see the words on the paper, but they take me gesturing towards the paper as pointing at a specific rating and then tell me not to talk so I don’t mess up the data.

I get seven minutes into the test. My vision is going black and my heart is beating so fast I feel like I’m about to have a heart attack. I later find out that I was way above my maximum healthy heart rate and the test should have been stopped, but the students were not paying any attention to my heart rate so it went unnoticed.

I finally decide that I can no longer go on with the test and give them the indication that I need to stop. My professor asks me to go “one more minute” but then notices my heart rate and tells the other students that I need to get off the treadmill immediately. The test is stopped, the headpiece is removed, and I am able to sit in a chair. I’m shaking and hyperventilating, still feel like I’m about to have a heart attack, and am incredibly embarrassed that I was unable to complete the test and that I’m having a full-blown panic attack in front of my class.

The professor looks over the data and sees the ratings of perceived exertion that were collected when I was wildly gesturing towards the paper. She asks me, “Why did you rate these so low; wasn’t the test hard for you? You were having a hard time.”

I manage to basically hiss out between my gasps for breath, “I couldn’t see. You didn’t give me my glasses back. I’m almost blind.”

The professor shuts up and the other students get me to re-rate the test. After this, I am able to go home, thinking that this will be the end of it.

However, the professor proceeds to mention how I was unable to complete the test every week, assuming it was because I was out of shape, not because I was having a panic attack. This is so embarrassing that I end up having minor panic attacks before I go to this class every day, fearing that she is going to mention it again.

I wish there was some sort of incredible ending to this story where I stood up for myself and yelled at the professor, but due to a certain illness outbreak, I ended up having to complete the class online and did not have to deal with that professor for the rest of the semester.

[florida80]

People Are Waiting Longer And Longer To Have Kids
HOSPITAL, NURSES, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | JULY 23, 2020
My dad is a clinical pharmacist before retirement. One hospital he works in for about thirty years has some nurses that are clearly in need of some extra training. The pharmacists can see the entire profile for the patient, including medications currently prescribed, what they are in the hospital for at the moment, etc.

Dad receives a prescription marked “urgent” that does not correlate with the patient’s diagnosis, and he immediately calls the nurse.

Dad: “Hi, this is [Dad] from the pharmacy. I am unable to fill the script you just sent me. Please double-check and resend it.”

Nurse: “Um, no. I sent it to you; you fill it. Do your d*** job!”

Dad: “Not happening. Have the doctor call me immediately if you won’t comply.”

Nurse: “What the f***?! How dare you insinuate I can’t do my job?!”

Dad: “Because you just requested a drug to induce labor for an eighty-five-year-old patient here for a heart attack. I’m not going to kill her.”

My dad hung up and dialed the doctor directly to get it handled.

Luckily, it was something my dad could start on while waiting on the doctor to send the CORRECT prescription and had already done so based on the semi-close names of the drugs, and the lady was okay. Unluckily, the nurse reported my dad for “unprofessionalism” and he had a long investigation started. The nurse didn’t last long.

[florida80]

Caution Is Important, But Um…
CURRENT EVENTS, HEALTH & BODY, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, STUPID, TEXAS, USA | HEALTHY | JULY 21, 2020
Me: “This is [Heart Clinic]; how can I help you?”

Patient: “I have an appointment tomorrow, and I really need to come, but I found out my aunt had [rapidly spreading illness].”

Me: “I’m so sorry to hear that! Did you have contact with your aunt?”

Patient: “No, I haven’t seen her in months.”

Me: “You had contact with someone who has seen her recently, then?”

Patient: “I haven’t had contact with anyone lately. I get my groceries delivered, even.”

Me: “Okay. So, you have to go see her, then?”

Patient: “What? No! She’s in the hospital. I can’t go see her.”

Me: “Are you having any of these symptoms?”

I read off a list of symptoms.

Patient: “As far as I know, I’m healthy as can be, except for the heart issues.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m confused. If you need the appointment, then why are you cancelling?”

Patient: “Because my aunt has [illness].”

[florida80]

Parenthood Doesn’t Come With Clairvoyance
IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, INSURANCE, NON-DIALOGUE, PENNSYLVANIA, PITTSBURGH, USA | HEALTHY | JULY 19, 2020
My son was born with a very slight heart murmur. The pediatrician said he needed to see a cardiologist so they called one in right away. He was only an hour old.

One month later, I got a letter saying the insurance wouldn’t pay because it needed a pre-authorization twenty-four hours before the visit. I called the insurance company and said that twenty-four hours before the visit, my son was negative twenty-three hours old. They paid the claim.

He’s eighteen now, and he’s fine.

[florida80]

Do They Teach Entitlement In Medical School?
CALIFORNIA, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, JERK, USA | HEALTHY | JULY 18, 2020
I work in central supply at a hospital. Besides individual items, we carry prepackaged kits.

One evening, I’m returning to the department after making my deliveries. I find a man in scrubs trying to force the door open.

Me: “Can I help you?”

Doctor: “Why is this door locked?!”

Me: “Because it’s after hours and I’m the only one here.”

I unlock the door and he follows me inside.

Doctor: “I need [Specific Brand Kit we don’t carry].”

Me: “We don’t carry [Specific Brand]; we only have [Our Brand].”

Doctor: “I don’t like [Our Brand]! I ordered [Specific Brand]! You’re supposed to have it!”

Me: “I’m sorry. We haven’t received any new products in a while.”

Doctor: “How do you know?”

Me: “Any time we get something new, my manager puts one on the dry erase board. She writes the item number and the location where it’s kept here in the department.”

He’s still not convinced, so I show him the shelves where the kits are stored. Of course, he doesn’t find the one he wants.

Doctor: “Fine. I’ll have to take one of these. I’ll need a couple of other things, too.”

He grabs a few more things and starts to leave when I stop him.

Me: “I need to know where that stuff is going.”

Doctor: *Rolling his eyes* “It’s going with me.”

Me: “You’re taking it home?”

Doctor: “No! I’m going to use it on a patient.”

Me: “Then I need the location of the patient. I have to log it in the book so the correct floor is charged.”

Doctor: “Oh. It’s going to [floor].”

I got everything logged in the book and he finally left.

We never did carry that other brand of kit.

[florida80]

Too Bad Money Doesn’t Spread Like Disease
CURRENT EVENTS, EMPLOYEES, HEALTH & BODY, HOSPITAL, NON-DIALOGUE, NURSES, THE NETHERLANDS | HEALTHY | JULY 12, 2020
I have to visit my local hospital. At this moment, the health crisis is still ongoing, but it is not really spreading fast or causing many deaths in my country anymore.

When you enter the hospital, there are people there who ask you what your business is and if you have any symptoms related to the illness. The way this hospital is set up is that you have a big open space right after the doors. During this time, they have taped off a section for people entering so they catch everybody going in and are able to ask them questions.

The way they set this up is that they have a couple of tables surrounded by plexiglass screens about two meters in height and U-shaped. The area for employees is further restricted by tables which sort of create corridors for people to go through. These tables are not protected by the plexiglass. The employees are standing behind those tables, calling us through. Luckily, it is not very busy and I get through easily.

When you exit, you get close to that area again. I linger a bit when I exit because I have to get some stuff in and out of my bag. As I do, I overhear a conversation.

One man asks why the hospital staff has plexiglass screens but doesn’t stand behind them, instead choosing to stand behind the unprotected tables. I take a look at the setup again and I realise that the way these areas are set up, they clearly meant for patients and visitors to go up to the front of the screens, answer the questions required, and then pass through the little artificial corridors to enter the hospital. This way, the employee would be protected at all times and never get close enough to the visitor/patient without a barrier in between them.

However, as it turns out, in order for plexiglass to stand on its own, it has to be quite thick. And what happens if you’re standing behind thick plexiglass? Well… predictably, they will have trouble hearing each other. Apparently, after trying it out, the employees realised that communication was impossible through these screens and that is why they abandoned them. I guess they still managed to stay far enough away from the patients and visitors, at least as far away as required by our laws — 1.5 meters — but it amazed me that the hospital didn’t think of the communication problem.

And for everyone asking if they couldn’t have used microphones and speakers to communicate, here’s a couple of reasons why they didn’t. This setup is in the middle of a big open space. There are no plugs anywhere near. And it is too dangerous to put a wire over that floor. On top of that, the more important reason I guess is that hospitals already don’t get much funding and, as such, are notorious cheapskates.

[florida80]

That Instant Karma Can Be Hard To Swallow
AUSTRALIA, CURRENT EVENTS, HEALTH & BODY, INSTANT KARMA, MEDICAL OFFICE, NON-DIALOGUE, NURSES, PRANKS | HEALTHY | JULY 11, 2020
I’m a nurse working in a drive-thru screening clinic for a widespread illness.

Getting swabbed for this illness involves a throat and nasal swab and it is not a pleasant experience at all. I try my absolute best to be friendly, courteous, gentle, and comforting to make the best of a bad situation for our patients.

And most patients are lovely.

But some are not.

I have one guy drive up with two peers in the car, and he is clearly trying to impress them with bravado.

After ranting at me that “all this s***” is just a scam and how I must like hurting people if I do this job, giving me fake, rude names, etc., we finally get around to taking his throat swab.

I have the swab in his mouth when he lets out a sudden, loud shriek, obviously with the intention of frightening me and making me jump as a “hilarious” joke.

However, due to the fact that I have the swab in his mouth, when I do jump slightly, I end up jabbing his throat with the swab.

“Mate, maybe don’t do that when I have a stick deep down in your throat, okay?” I suggest.

With his eyes downcast, looking humbled and like someone who just got poked sharply in the back of the throat, he says in a small voice, “I’m sorry.”

[florida80]

Ears Are Becoming Vestigial Organs These Days
CANADA, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, MEDICAL OFFICE | HEALTHY | JULY 6, 2020
I work at a clinic where we frequently send people for surgery. Sometimes we send people to the hospital for emergency surgery right from the clinic, but most often, we have their surgery scheduled anywhere between a week from when we saw them up to a few months in the future.

In these cases, we give the patient a quick explanation of the paperwork they need to fill out, as well as how the process works. When we are able to tell patients what day their surgery will be, we explain that we get the time for their surgery right from the hospital but we won’t get that information until the day before their surgery day.

One day, I am answering phones at work when I get the following call.

Caller: “Hi, I was just at the clinic and they said my dad is going to have surgery on [date], but they didn’t give us the time!” *Laughs*

Me: “We always call patients the day before their surgery in the afternoon to inform them of their surgery time.”

Caller: “Oh, that’s what the girl at the desk said.”

Me: “…”

I get that people are a little nervous and preoccupied when they are told they will need to have surgery. However, we get calls like this every single day! Some people just don’t listen, I guess.

[florida80]

Giving Your Children A Time-Release Heart Attack
HEALTH & BODY, HOME, NON-DIALOGUE, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, USA | HEALTHY | JULY 5, 2020
My father contacts me to let me know he is in the hospital. Something is going on with his heart; they are not sure what yet. After a lot of testing, and a lot of panic on my end, he is released with some new medication. He says they are not exactly sure what happened; he didn’t have a heart attack, though.

Fast forward several months, and the topic comes up. I ask him if they have figured out what happened that day.

“No,” he says. “Just that it was some kind of myocardial infarction.”

Cue my bio-nerdy stare of disbelief. That was the day I got to tell my engineer father that “myocardial infarction” is the technical term for a freaking heart attack!

[florida80]

Giving Your Children A Time-Release Heart Attack
HEALTH & BODY, HOME, NON-DIALOGUE, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, USA | HEALTHY | JULY 5, 2020
My father contacts me to let me know he is in the hospital. Something is going on with his heart; they are not sure what yet. After a lot of testing, and a lot of panic on my end, he is released with some new medication. He says they are not exactly sure what happened; he didn’t have a heart attack, though.

Fast forward several months, and the topic comes up. I ask him if they have figured out what happened that day.

“No,” he says. “Just that it was some kind of myocardial infarction.”

Cue my bio-nerdy stare of disbelief. That was the day I got to tell my engineer father that “myocardial infarction” is the technical term for a freaking heart attack!

[florida80]

A Most Receptive Receptionist
AWESOME, HEALTH & BODY, MEDICAL OFFICE, NON-DIALOGUE, PATIENTS, RECEPTION, SWEDEN | HEALTHY | JULY 4, 2020
I suffer from recurring bouts of erysipelas and have had it twelve times for the past nine years. Each time, I amass a lot of fluids in my body and gain twenty to twenty-five kilograms in a couple of days, which is great fun. I then work hard to shed the unwanted weight and drop back to the original weight, only to get erysipelas again. It’s rather draining mentally.

The first time I got sick, I didn’t understand what was happening. My legs were so filled with fluid that they stopped working, and it took me four hours to drag myself from the living room out to the phone in the hallway to call for an ambulance. I ended up spending four months isolated in the hospital, and I lost all skin on my right leg, from the hip and all the way down to under my feet and around my toes. Instead, green gunk gushed out from the open wound.

It took me six months before I could walk again and I became a “frequent flyer” at my local health clinic during this time, when I also battled cancer.

About eighteen months ago, it was my best friend’s birthday and I was looking forward to visiting her. When I woke up that morning, I felt unwell, but since I had called out sick the two previous times we were supposed to meet, I didn’t want to disappoint her again. She picked me up, we went to her home, and she gushed over her gifts as I started shaking more and more violently. I fell off my chair as I couldn’t stop shuddering. My friend got this huge blanket and wrapped me in it, but I couldn’t speak as I was shaking too much. She dragged me out to her car and drove me home, where I called the health clinic.

I knew from the shaking and the state of my leg that I had erysipelas again.

I was informed by an automated message that they had filled their daily quota for walk-ins, but I was welcome to try again the next day. I knew it was erysipelas but it also felt different as it was progressing much faster than normal.

I called the national health helpline and talked to a rather snotty lady. She told me to call an ambulance right away.

I refused, as I had had erysipelas eleven times before. I knew that I just needed antibiotics and I would get better in a few days — no need for an ambulance or clogging up the emergency room with something unimportant.

So, barely conscious and shaking violently, I went out into the kitchen and made schnitzels. After all, it was what I had planned to cook that day. They were delicious, but… it was not the most logical action. I was rather delirious, though, which might excuse my lack of logical thinking.

I then called the health clinic again and spoke to the receptionist. I knew I would only need a five-minute appointment to come in, show my glaringly red leg, and get a prescription for antibiotics. Could they possibly squeeze me in?

“Yes, if you can get here at 12:45, we can fit you in.”

“Great! I’ll take the bus in ten minutes, at 12:20. See you!”

By now, my legs were swollen, filled with fluid, and horribly infected, and it was difficult to lift my feet. I used my distance walking sticks as crutches to stumble to the bus stop.

It’s only a three-minute bus ride to the health clinic.

When I entered the health clinic, the reception was deserted. A woman was seated in the waiting area but not waiting for the receptionist; I don’t know if she was the companion of another patient or waiting for her ride home. I sat down by the receptionist with my identification ready and more or less lost consciousness. I was shaking so badly. After a while, the receptionist returned. I was too ill to notice, but the other woman went up for me.

“You have to see her immediately!” the woman told the receptionist. “She’s really sick.”

She handed over my ID and my wallet to the receptionist, who ran me through the computer, and together they managed to shake some life into me and I managed to hop on my own to the waiting room.

My leg hurt so badly that I couldn’t sit properly, and I had to place it on the table. It was pretty disgusting, but the leg hurt so bad.

The nurse came over and said, “Hi, [My Name]! Oh, my! Wait here!”

She rushed over to the doctor’s office; I could hear her urge him to come out right away.

“Hi, [My Name],” the doctor said. “Wow, you have erysipelas. When did it start?”

“Two hours ago,” I said.

“Two hours? No, that can’t be. Can I check your arm?”

Yeah, of course, he could. I wasn’t going to use it myself, so check away.

“Wait here! There’s no need for any exam or testing.” Off he went for a couple of minutes before he returned, chatting on a cell phone. “It’s urgent! You have to rush!” he begged on the phone. Then, he turned back to me. “Okay, [My Name]. You have erysipelas, which you already know, because you know this disease better than any of us doctors here. But… you’re going into sepsis. In two hours, the sepsis has spread from your calves to your elbows. It’s really, really bad. I’ve called an ambulance.”

The ambulance arrived in less than ten minutes. I was quickly treated at the hospital and made a full recovery.

If the receptionist hadn’t squeezed me in, I would have gone to bed, instead. Considering how fast the sepsis was spreading, the outcome would not have been good. I am eternally grateful for the wonderful treatment I got that day.

[florida80]

A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 3
CURRENT EVENTS, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, MEDICAL OFFICE, RECEPTION, USA | HEALTHY | JUNE 22, 2020
I have a compromised immune system, so I’ve been working from home and haven’t been going out much. My doctor has set up telehealth visits where we can video chat instead of going to the office.

A few days before my visit, I get a call from the office.

Me: “Hello?”

Receptionist #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Hi, this is [Receptionist #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] from [Doctor]’s office. Am I speaking with [My Name]?”

Me: “Yes, this is her.”

Receptionist #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Okay! I need to go over some basic information before your appointment. It’s just the check-in stuff we would normally do in person. Do you have about fifteen minutes for that?”

I glance at my schedule and see that I don’t have anything pressing coming up.

Me: “Sure.”

We go over my basic info — name, date of birth, weight, medications, etc. — and she verifies that I know how to log in to see the doctor. We hang up and I go back to work.

The next day, I get another call from their office. Unfortunately, I’m already in a call with a client, so I can’t answer. After I’m done, I listen to the voicemail.

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Hi, this is [Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] from [Doctor]’s office calling for [My Name]. I just need to go over some basic information with you before your appointment. Please call us back at [phone number] prior to your visit. Thank you.”

Thinking this is about something new, I call back.

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “[Doctor]’s office.”

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name]. I just received a call about some information before my visit?”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Okay. Let me pull up your file here… Okay, we just need to do your basic check-in before your visit. Do you have about fifteen minutes?”

Me: *Confused* “I did that yesterday. Is there something new?”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Hmm, I don’t see anything here. Are you sure it was with us?”

Me: “Yeah, same number, same appointment.”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Well, I’m not sure what happened but nothing is charted here. Can we go over it to make sure?”

Me: “I have a few minutes, yeah.”

We go through everything again, and after the receptionist assures me it’s all been documented, we hang up. The following day I get ANOTHER call from the same office. I’m still working, so I let it go to voicemail again. It’s a third receptionist, wanting to verify all of my information yet again. I call back, annoyed.

Receptionist #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “[Doctor]’s office.”

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name]. I received another call about my upcoming appointment.”

Receptionist #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “I see. Well, it looks like we’ve been trying to reach you, I see. I can go over your info now if—”

Me: “Look, I’m sorry. I’m sure this isn’t your fault, but I’ve done this twice already. Is it not being logged or something?”

Receptionist #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “I don’t see anything about us talking with you. Do you know who it was?”

Me: “Well, I have [Receptionists #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) & #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) ] in voicemails but I can’t remember the first one’s name.”

Receptionist #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “Mmhmm, I called today. I see that [Receptionists #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) & #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] also reached out. Are you sure you spoke with us, not another office?”

Me: “Yes. I’m sure. How is this not being recorded? Can you ask the other receptionists?”

Receptionist #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “I’m not sure what’s going on, but I can go over your information with you now.”

Me: *Sigh* “Fine.”

For a third time, I went through everything. I guess it finally stuck because that was the last call before the doctor’s visit. When I asked her if other people had the same problem, she said she didn’t know anything about it. Suddenly, I miss those in-person visits.

[florida80]

A Most Unreceptive Receptionist, Part 2
EMPLOYEES, ENGLAND, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, RECEPTION, UK | WORKING | JULY 7, 2020
I’ve recently legally changed my name but haven’t quite updated it everywhere as some places require me to physically visit them, and it’s hard to keep track of everywhere.

I’m a university student home for the summer and am made a temporary patient at the local doctors. After my appointment, I notice my name is wrong and go to ask at reception about changing it. There are two receptionists.

Me: “Hey, so, uh, my name legally changed, and I’m wondering if I need to give you guys anything to update it? I have my deed poll here.”

Receptionist #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Let me see. How did you change it?”

Me: “By deed poll; I have it here.” *Holds out the paper*

Receptionist #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : *Takes the deed poll* “Is this our copy?”

Me: “No, that’s my legal copy. Do you need it?”

[Receptionist #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] goes to a cupboard; I assume that’s where a photocopier is or something.

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Wait, you’re a temporary patient. right? You need to update it with your GP up in [University City], not us.”

Me: “Oh, okay, thanks.”

I don’t move as the first receptionist is still holding my deed poll.

Receptionist #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “You really need to update your name. Legally, you have to.”

I hold out my hand for the deed poll.

Me: “I know. I just can’t afford to go up to [City] for one day.”

Receptionist #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : *With a sort of “gotcha” tone* “Then how are you getting back for university? You need to change it; it can cause problems if you don’t.”

Me: “I know.”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *Cutting in* “Their parents are probably helping them move back in; they just can’t go up a random day in summer. Hon, I’ve got it all set on the system. You’re fine. Have a good day.”

[Receptionist #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] said nothing and handed me my deed poll.

I thanked the second receptionist and left. I know updating my name is important, but it’s also expensive enough without having to travel just to hand over a piece of paper.

Related:
A Most Unreceptive Receptionist

[florida80]

A Most Unreceptive Receptionist
JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, RECEPTION, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 17, 2020
(I have a potential diagnosis of a rare and extremely painful neurological disorder. I have to schedule with a neurologist, who lives a four-hour drive from where I live. By this point, I’ve been in severe pain for several months, and my patience for rudeness is admittedly running a bit thin.)

Me: “Hi, I’m calling to see if I need an MRI before I come down.”

Receptionist: “The doctor will inform you if you need that at the appointment.”

Me: “Yes, I understand that, but it’s a four-hour drive to see this doctor and I have to stay overnight and I’d rather not have to do it more than once.”

Receptionist: *much more snippy than is necessary* “Well, that’s not my problem, is it?”

Me: “Pardon me, but I’ve been in fairly serious pain for a while and that’s why I’m calling your office — to make sure that the appointment to get rid of my pain runs smoothly.”

Receptionist: “There’s no reason to take that tone.”

Me: “Are you f****** kidding me?!”

Receptionist: “Young lady, if you insist on using that language with me, I will disconnect the call and inform [Doctor] of your attitude, and we’ll see if you see another neurologist in this hospital.”

(I disconnected the call, had a panic attack, and then cried with my mom for an hour. No one is making a first appointment with a specialist for happy fun times. If you don’t understand that someone is probably calling because they’re in pain or sick, maybe you shouldn’t work in healthcare.)

[florida80]

Becoming The Butt Of An Insult-To-Injury Situation
FRIENDS, MILITARY, NON-DIALOGUE, PATIENTS, PRANKS, VIETNAM | HEALTHY | JUNE 27, 2020
My dad served in Vietnam between 1969 and 1972. During this time, he saw many of his fellow soldiers injured.

One drew the lucky straw in a firefight and wasn’t fatally injured. The bullet went in one side and out the other side — of his buttocks.

While he was laid up in the hospital, my dad and a few friends visited him.

They all very solemnly entered the guy’s hospital room and very seriously informed him that the doctors had told them that the patient’s bottom was going to have to be amputated due to the injury.

But they were going to get him a nice wooden replacement from the resident local crafters, all shiny and polished, with a belt to hold it on. And they might even be able to afford a pink plastic one for Sundays!

About that time, the patient cottoned on that this was a prank.

Dad and his friends managed to duck out before the bedpan hit them.

[florida80]

Hopefully, Those Weeks Just Flu By
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | JUNE 26, 2020
My sister and I vacation together in Florida, and we come back sick as dogs. We’re both sneezing and coughing uncontrollably plus feverish chills, but mine’s worse. I get so bad that I lose control of my body so I soil myself, clumps of my hair fall out, and I have hallucinations of shadowy figures. I’m naturally fat but I can’t eat, so my stomach caves in. I drool uncontrollably the time, and I get an earache so bad that I can’t hear anything. Plus, my eyes puff up so much that I can’t see either. Ever been deaf and blind? It’s NOT fun.

I figure I got a bad flu, but it’s never been like this, so I figure I have the flu AND maybe something else. Finally, weeks later, I go the see a doctor, I’ve no insurance but I’m desperate for relief. Over-the-counter medicine does nothing.

I tell the doctor everything, and he runs tests. Flu: negative. Strep throat: negative. Pneumonia: negative.

Doctor: “It must be bronchitis. A mild case of it.”

Me: “A mild case? If this is mild, I don’t want to ever experience a severe case!”

He gave me a prescription for my cough. My sister went, too, and she got a flu diagnosis. She still blames me for giving it to her, even though I told her I didn’t! I lost twenty-five pounds at least.

[florida80]

No Particular Emphasis On “Assisted” Living
ASSISTED LIVING, CALIFORNIA, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, NON-DIALOGUE, NURSES, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | JUNE 24, 2020
A few years ago, I — a sixty-four-year-old male — had a bad bicycle accident. The damages included a concussion, broken right collarbone, broken right elbow, four broken ribs on my right side, and three fractures in my left pelvis; if you can explain the physics of that, I’m all ears.

Four days in the hospital got me stabilized, but then I needed rehab and was sent to a nursing home. That’s when the fun began.

I was transported to the home at about 6:00 pm. After intake, I struggled for a few hours to find a comfortable position and finally got to sleep, only to be awakened at 11:30 pm (!) to have them take pictures of my bare backside to see if I had bedsores already. Two days later, I was awakened at 4:45 am (!!) because the traveling technician was going to take my blood and wanted to get done early.

I was getting both physical and occupational therapy from the same outsourced company. The routine was to do the PT first at one end of the building and then get wheeled back to my room for the OT. The third day, the occupational therapist was taking me back to my room and one of the physical therapists came with us. The two men were discussing a barbeque they were going to have that weekend.

No problem, except that when we got to my room they stopped in the hallway and talked over me for five minutes. I called out the OT when we were alone; to his credit, he apologized and said that I wasn’t their typical patient, meaning I had no dementia.

I was on a schedule where I was given two assisted showers a week. This wouldn’t have been too bad, except that the home had no air conditioning and we had a heatwave in the nineties the second week. I was waiting for the aide to take me when I noticed five young women hanging around the door to my room. When I asked, they told me they were going to watch my shower as part of their training. I informed them that no, they weren’t, so they waited outside the shower area with my wheelchair.

By that point, I could walk slowly with a cane, so after getting dressed, I limped to my chair with help from the aide. One of the women was standing behind the chair with her hands on the grips. I let go of the cane, grabbed a handrail on the chair, and almost fell on my face as the chair moved out from under me! She hadn’t set the brakes on the wheels and hadn’t held on to the chair. I was lucky there was no damage but it hurt like crazy.

In addition to the therapy for my hip, I needed to wait until the swelling in my broken elbow went down before surgery. When it was ready for the procedure, I went to the hospital having had no food or drink for over twelve hours. I was lying on the gurney about to go into the prep room when I was approached by a young doctor I’d never met. She wanted me to give her permission to perform a “nerve block” on me after the operation. In her telling, this would keep me from feeling pain afterward.

This had not been discussed before, I had no knowledge of what a nerve block entailed, it sounded dangerous, and this person was a total stranger. She was persistent, I’ll give her that, but she finally took the hint when I told her to get the h*** away from me.

The surgery went fine and I had no real discomfort afterward, even to the point where I never filled the prescription for the opioid painkiller I was given. So much for the nerve block. I was not, however, forewarned about another side effect of the anesthesia. It is common that urination is inhibited after the procedure, and by 6:00 pm, I was in real pain.

The nurses’ aides didn’t have the authority to give me a catheter and had to get permission. An hour later, I got my first experience with the process. Then, they took it out. And a few hours later, the pressure built up again.

This time, they didn’t want to put the tube back in; their training said they had to wait four hours. My wife had to yell that she’d take me to the emergency room and file charges against them before they fixed the problem. This time they left it in, and by the following evening, the plumbing worked.

As to the home itself, my stay confirmed my fear of the places, even without a contagion situation. Most of the other long-term residents had some degree of dementia and there was lots of moaning and shouting at all hours. And the food was just as bland as the stereotype; luckily, my wife brought me meals a couple of times a day — including the occasional illicit cold beer.

I got out three days after the elbow surgery and was able to navigate my house, including the stairs, immediately. In another week, I rarely used the cane and have a story for my grandkids.

[florida80]

Don’t Bypass The Signs
BELGIUM, COWORKERS, HEALTH & BODY, OFFICE, STUPID | HEALTHY | JUNE 21, 2020
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

I’m sitting across from [Coworker #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] and [Coworker #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] comes up to him.

Coworker #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “I need you to drive [Coworker #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) ] home; he is not feeling well. He has chest paint, is short of breath, his left arm hurts…”

Basically, insert all symptoms of a heart attack here.

Me: *A bit incredulously* “I’m no doctor, but that sounds as if he needs to go to the ER instead of home.”

Coworker #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : *Looks at me assessingly* “I think [My Name] is right. He needs a doctor.”

Coworker #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “No, no, he wants to go home.”

[Coworker #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] went to check on [Coworker #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) ] and I saw them leaving. An hour later, [Coworker #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) ] was on the operating table, having a triple bypass.

[florida80]

Some Doctors Have Their Heads Up Their… Well, You Know
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA | HEALTHY | JUNE 20, 2020
TMI warning! I have severe rectal bleeding. As a woman, it’s extremely hard to get care for it.

Several Doctors: “Are you sure the blood isn’t from your period?”

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “One drop of blood can make the whole bowel look red.”

Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “The surgery is painful, and you’re so young! Why put you through unnecessary risk?”

Doctor #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “Most women are anemic. I wouldn’t worry about it. Just gain a little weight.”

Doctor #4 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=4) : “I’m sure it’s not as bad as you say.”

Female Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “That sounds awful! I just need to check a simple thing, and then I can recommend you for surgery.”

[florida80]

A Vampire Has Better Bedside Manner
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, FLORIDA, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | JUNE 19, 2020
As part of my work’s health insurance, all employees need to get basic blood work done each year. It’s a minor inconvenience, and it’s fully paid for by the company. However, I have a bad needle phobia. The year before last, my best friend came with me so I could hold his hand. Last year, I decided to go alone, since I was going to the same phlebotomist and she was very nice, but I ended up having a low-key panic attack and tremors for the rest of the day regardless.

This year, I go to a new clinic and need a bit more blood drawn for my personal doctor, so my best friend thankfully agrees to let me crush his hand again. We’re seen to quickly enough and go into the room to wait. Then, the phlebotomist enters and the trouble starts.

My friend is sitting on my right side and has his phone and earbuds out so he can distract me with silly videos. The phlebotomist — who entered from the door on my left, mind — crosses over to my right side and looks down at him.

Phlebotomist: “You need to move.”

Me: “Sorry, I’m actually more comfortable having my blood drawn from my left arm. I have a severe needle phobia and tend to tense up.”

She just huffs and moves to my left. She ties the rubber cuff around my arm VERY TIGHTLY and I feel my fingers start to tingle and throb in a matter of seconds, so I reach over to loosen it just a little bit.

Phlebotomist: “Don’t touch that!”

Me: “It was too tight! My hand was going numb!”

She huffs again and then comes up to my side and grabs my arm. I immediately jerk forward and tense up, and the phlebotomist pushes me back against the chair.

Phlebotomist: “You need to stay still or I’m going to hurt you.”

I was so keyed up I could only whimper, so I squeezed my friend’s hand for all it was worth after he passed me the earbuds and started playing a video that I think had cats being cute or something.

The phlebotomist stuck me and I whimpered some more while my leg bounced with nervous energy. I heard her tutting over the noise of the video, like I was some rambunctious child, and the draw felt like it took forever. Eventually, all the vials were filled and the phlebotomist dismissed us with the scowl she’d had on the entire time.

My friend had to lead me out of the clinic, as I was dizzy from stress by that point, and it took a good few minutes for him to bring me down enough to be safe to drive home.

People like that phlebotomist are part of the reason I developed this phobia in the first place, and she certainly did her part to make sure I don’t conquer it any time soon!

[florida80]

Crappy Vision Leads To Crappy Situations
CANADA, HEALTH & BODY, NON-DIALOGUE, OPTOMETRIST/OPTICIAN, PATIENTS, REVOLTING | HEALTHY | JUNE 18, 2020
I work at a specialty ophthalmologist clinic. Patients, who are often already visually impaired, often see worse than they usually do right after their appointment, especially if they’ve had their eyes dilated or had treatment.

We have an older patient population, as well, and unfortunate bathroom explosions are prone to happen from time to time, although thankfully they’re usually confined to the bathroom stalls.

One day, a patient comes to check out with me and is mumbling about needing directions and how they’re not able to see well. I lead them to the elevator — assuming she is leaving after her appointment — and as the doors open, she says, “Is this the toilet?”

“Oh, no, no!” I exclaim and lead her the proper way to the bathrooms, picturing the disaster we could have had on our hands.

[florida80]

Some Doctors Should Be Dislocated From Their Professions
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, GYM, HOSPITAL, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, MIDDLE SCHOOL, USA, WASHINGTON | HEALTHY | JUNE 17, 2020
When I am in middle school, I do gymnastics through the school. During the last meet of my last year at the school, I dislocate my shoulder doing a cartwheel while I am warming up. Looking back, this is all pretty hilarious. At the time, not so much.

I’m slightly in shock but I know something’s wrong. I’m crumpled against the practice beam.

Me: “[Coach], [Coach]!”

My coach was watching the current student perform her routine and thought I just had questions, so she’s shushing me. Up in the stands, my mom saw me fall but thought that I’d just bumped the beam when I went down.

Mom: *Jokingly to a family friend* “I know she’s had worse. She just needs to shake it off; she’ll be fine.”

Back on the floor, a couple of teammates and one of the other coaches have realized that there’s a problem. They get me upright and the coach signals my mom to get down to the floor. By this time, the initial shock has worn off and I’m in massive amounts of pain — when my shoulder dislocates, my arm gains about three inches in length and what feels like 1000 pounds — so there is some minor crying going on on my part. My mom gets into the locker room, gets a hold of my dad, and tells him to stay in the car because we need to get to urgent care.

We get ice on my shoulder and my mom uses an ace bandage to immobilize things and we get in the car. We get down to urgent care and I remember this guy who sees me and lets me go ahead of him — not sure what his issue was, but thank you so much for letting the screaming and crying teenager jump the line!

We get into the exam room and the doctor comes in and starts examining things. Keep in mind that, A, I’m in a gymnastics leotard and, B, there’s a noticeable divot at my shoulder. He starts poking where my shoulder is supposed to be and asking if it hurts. At that point, not really, and I tell him so. He then starts probing my arm and gets to where my shoulder actually is, and of course, there’s a ton more pain and I tell him so.

The doctor looks up at both my parents.

Doctor: “So, this isn’t a dislocation; she’s broken her humerus. I’m going to order X-rays to be sure, and then we’ll get this fixed.”

Both my parents just stare at him, because it’s obvious that it’s a dislocation. Honestly, my dad was a medic when he was in the army, but the only reason he didn’t reduce my shoulder himself was that he didn’t want to risk something getting pinched. The X-rays get developed, and what do you know, my shoulder is dislocated.

Doctor: “Well, uh, I’m going to send you to the ER. They’ll have better drugs to give her. We’ll give her something to help for now and call ahead to get you guys checked in.”

A nurse comes in and gives me a shot of Demerol — I think; it might have been Dilaudid — and then we’re off to the ER. We get to the ER and they get us checked in, get vitals, and give me the exact same dose of Demerol. Then, they get me into a waiting gurney in the hallway.

We wait there for a while — I don’t remember much of it because I was so drugged up — but my mom finally goes out and asks what’s going on, so then they move me to a bed behind a curtain. I get hooked up to monitors and then to morphine, as well.

Looking back, there were an awful lot of drugs onboard that night. Again, hindsight humor: I thought I was asleep 90% of the time, but apparently, I wasn’t; my parents never mentioned if I said anything weird, but I’m sure I was entertaining.

There is more waiting and my mom finally goes out to the nurses’ station where they are just hanging around.

Mom: “Hi. Excuse me. Could we get some assistance back here? I know this probably isn’t exactly a high priority, but my daughter is fourteen and in pain and a little scared. Can someone please take a look?”

There was a flurry of activity and, within a few minutes, my shoulder was reduced. The doctor then had to pin me to the bed because I immediately tried to put my arms over my head. I suddenly felt better; why wouldn’t I try to use my arm?

My mom called urgent care a few days later to complain about the doctor we’d seen there and it turns out the guy was an allergist! He’d been covering the on-call because they’d had to make a run to help a patient. Mom thinks he was just scared to reduce it which is why he’d sent us to the ER.

[florida80]

A Birthday Balm For Your Birthday Break
AWESOME, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, NURSES, OREGON, USA | HEALTHY | JUNE 16, 2020
I have just fractured my wrist for the third time. Just for you curious people, I was rollerskating and I fell backward and landed on it. We get to the ER and, lo and behold, the same ER doctor that assisted us last time is the one assisting us now, so my parents chat and catch up a bit while the ER doctor examines my wrist.

Then, this conversation happens. It is the seventh of December.

ER Doctor: *After asking some questions* “So, when is your birthday?”

Me: *Eyeroll* “The fourteenth of December.”

ER Doctor: “Oh, happy early birthday!”

Me: “Thanks.”

I’m thinking that my party is tomorrow and requires some physical work and I am just worried I can’t do it. They confirm that my wrist is broken with X-rays and such, and all I want to do is go home, but they still have to put a cast on my wrist.

All of a sudden, some nurses come in, and they have some little presents with them: a toy car, a lavender chapstick, and some other goodies.

Nurses: “We heard it was your birthday next week and we thought we could start it off with some little presents.”

My Parents & Me: “Oh, my goodness, thank you so much!”

I was so happy I just sat there, shocked.

I still have the lip balm to this day, and it just reminds me how awesome nurses and healthcare people can be. They literally took time out of their day just to make a sad almost-fourteen-year-old happy.

[florida80]

The Cat’s Meow Isn’t Worse Than Its Bite
AUSTRALIA, HOSPITAL, NON-DIALOGUE, PATIENTS, PETS & ANIMALS, QUEENSLAND | HEALTHY | JUNE 15, 2020
I consider myself a bit of a medical disaster; if something goes wrong, it does so in the most spectacular or strange manner.

This story begins the day before I head to the ER. My indoor cat makes a mad dash for the front door while I am taking rubbish out and disappears for a few minutes. As he is a black cat, and it is 1:00 am, he’s practically invisible.

His presence is made known when he starts getting his a** handed to him by a cat half his size across the road. I sigh, knowing that separating them will get me scratched up, but as a lifelong cat owner, I decide it’s worth it just to get him safely indoors.

What I am not expecting is my cat latching onto my hand, violently. He bites my hand and digs his claws up my arm! I get him back home and begin to clean the wound. It’s deep, but not bad enough for me to realise it needs medical attention. It’s late at night but I wake my parents to let them know what’s happened because I know how dangerous cat bites can be. With copious amounts of disinfectant, and closing up the most suspect scratches, I head to bed.

During my shift at work the next day, it becomes apparent it needs further attention. I get out of my shift at 9:00 pm, call a nurse hotline, and am told that I really need to be at the hospital within twenty-four hours of the initial bite. Off to the ER I go, much at the dismay of my parents. They’re convinced I’ll be given a prescription of antibiotics and sent home.

Funnily enough, the reception nurse is a lady I assisted at work during the day, and we have a chat while waiting for the doctor. She asks me to take the bandage off my hand, and her face falls. I haven’t really looked at it for a few hours, but it has clearly swollen to almost twice the size of my other hand.

I get taken out back, but there are no beds available. I apologise for taking up valuable time and resources, but they say that they trust my judgment and that it was the right call to come in. The doctor finally makes it in and starts preparing me for an IV. I’m kind of shocked because at this stage I was still just expecting them to clean it and send me home with a prescription. I call my dad, who has been sitting in the car waiting for this “inevitable” outcome, but when he sees the situation, he is shocked, too.

I have terrible veins, which is great fun for all the blood tests I’ve needed in my time. They try to get one into my left arm, the one without injury, and fail. I’m informed it’s really against all best interests to have the injured arm stuck, but they have to go for it anyway. I receive the first round of antibiotics, and some painkillers, too. I’m asked when my last tetanus shot was. I think for a second, and then laugh.

My last tetanus shot was in 2012 when I was hospitalised… for a cat bite that pierced a hole through my skull! (Different cat!)

I’m admitted overnight and placed in the children’s ward, despite being an adult, as they really need to monitor my situation. I also need my arm suspended above my head, which is very uncomfortable with the attached drip. A sleepless night ensues.

The next day, as I’m about to be discharged, four rounds of antibiotics later, I hear the doctor speaking to the patient in the bed beside me. He mentions an animal bite, and I think that he may have the wrong patient.

Nope! The lady beside me, who was admitted mere minutes before me, is there for a snake bite! We end up laughing over it and realise that my situation is actually worse; I am genuinely at risk of losing my hand, but Snake Bite Lady is comparatively fine!

Although I now have a few scars up my hand and arm, it was almost worth the pain when the hilarity of the situation hit realising that my house cat bite was worse than a venomous snake bite!

[florida80]

The Babyface Will Get You Every Time
EMPLOYEES, JERK, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | JUNE 14, 2020
I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder as a pre-teen and have been on meds ever since. I’m in my late twenties but have a babyface.

My doctor has just called in a new prescription for me, as I’ve run out of refills. I’m at the pharmacy and the tech has just brought up my meds.

Tech: “Oh, this is a new prescription. You have to do a consult with the pharmacist.”

Me: “That’s not necessary. I’ve been taking this for a long time.”

Tech: “He wants to speak with you. There’s a note here. I’ll be right back.”

He calls the pharmacist, an older man, over. He gives me a look and starts talking to me in a very patronizing tone.

Pharmacist: “Okay, [My Name]. Now, for [Medicine], you have to take this every day. You can’t skip this. Okay? Do you understand? Because—”

Me: “I’m going to stop you right there. I’ve had [Autoimmune Disorder] for fifteen years and have been taking daily meds for it that entire time. I know exactly what [Medicine] does and how sick I get if I don’t take it.”

Pharmacist: “But this is listed as a new prescription. You haven’t taken this before.”

Me: “Yes, I have. I ran out of refills and my doctor called in a new one. I’ve been on the same dosage for years. Check my fill history. Why do I need a consult, anyway? I’ve never needed one before.”

Pharmacist: “Um… [Tech] will get you rung up now.”

He exited. I didn’t see that pharmacist after that.

[florida80]

Like Taking Candy From A Baby… Or Not…
COLORADO, FUNNY KIDS, HOSPITAL, NON-DIALOGUE, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | JUNE 13, 2020
While still an infant, I contract rotavirus, an illness that causes severe diarrhea.

In my case, the sickness is severe enough that eating or drinking causes almost immediate diarrhea. I’m taken to the hospital and put on an IV for fluid and nutrients.

I’m absolutely miserable and desperately want something to eat, but I’m not allowed anything to avoid further irritation of my bowels. To try and calm me down, I’m given an empty bottle to suck on.

At one point, a nurse comes in to check on the IV. As she’s adjusting it, I hold up my empty bottle to her and start whining for her to fill it. The nurse takes the bottle and pretends to fill it from the IV and hands it back. I start sucking only to realize I’ve been deceived.

As my mom tells it, I proceed to chuck the bottle across the room in protest.

[florida80]

That’s Generally Uncomfortable…
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, INDIANA, JERK, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | JUNE 7, 2020
I’m getting a vasectomy, and my doctor asks if I want a local or general anesthetic. Since I have problems with general anesthetics, I opt for the local.

After supposedly numbing the target area, he begins the procedure.

Doctor: “Let me know if you feel anything.”

Me: “I can feel that!”

Doctor: “You were the one that opted for a local anesthetic!”

Me: “You were the one that said to tell you if I felt anything!!”

The next day, a stitch popped and I had some very minor bleeding. I gave his office a call because, you know, that doesn’t seem like something that’s supposed to happen. The nurse said, “Well, that’s what they do!”

This doctor had a history of being jerky, but my philosophy at the time was “better the devil you know…”

[florida80]

So Much For Birth Control
BIZARRE, FAMILY & KIDS, GERMANY, HOSPITAL, PATIENTS | HEALTHY | JUNE 6, 2020
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

I’m a doctor working at the surgical emergency ward on a calm Saturday afternoon when a very large woman is brought in via ambulance. I’m wrapping up my last case at the computer but can hear her wailing from behind her curtain; we, unfortunately, don’t have separate rooms.

Another surgeon is with her within minutes.

Doctor: “All right, I’ve heard you called an ambulance for abdominal pain. Have you experienced similar symptoms before?”

Patient: “No! Help! Please, do something!”

Doctor: “Sure, give me just a minute. I need to find out the cause of your pain first to give you the right medication. Could you describe your symptoms a bit more in detail?”

Patient: “I have these cramps. They started early this morning and keep getting worse! Sometimes it’s a bit better but it keeps coming back! Oh, please do something!”

The doctor puts a hand on her belly, frowns, and then looks at her sharply.

Doctor: “Ma’am, is it possible that you’re pregnant?”

Patient: “Aaauuuugh! Ah… No… I don’t think so? I didn’t get my period for some time due to stress…”

The doctor motions for a nurse to get him an ultrasound.

Doctor: “Ma’am, when was your last period?”

Patient: *Winces* “I don’t know? Some months ago… December? No, earlier, I think.”

The nurse comes back with the ultrasound and the doctor finishes his examination. When he puts the probe on her belly…

Doctor: “Wow. I don’t usually get to see this, but it’s quite clear. See here? This is a head, and there’s the spine. With the periodic contractions you’re describing, I’m fairly sure you’re in labour.”

Patient: “What?! No! I can’t!”

Doctor: “Oh. I’m sorry; it seems I was wrong.”

Patient: “Praise the Lord. Don’t scare me like that!”

Doctor: “Sorry, that’s not what I meant. There’s another head. It’s twins.” *To the nurse* “Please inform the gynecologists and call a transport to get her to the labour room.”

Patient: “Noooooooooooo!” *Screams unintelligibly*

Not even half an hour later, we got a call from the gynecologists. It was two healthy babies, seemingly on term, and which blood tests did we already order?

I’m glad they were delivered safely and healthily, but judging by their mom’s reaction to her pregnancy… I can’t help but worry for their future.

[florida80]

Might Be Time To Change Doctors
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, GRAND RAPIDS, MEDICAL OFFICE, MICHIGAN, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 31, 2020
I work for a doctor’s emergency answering service. A frantic woman calls in at three am.

Me: “Hello, [Service].”

Woman: “I need [Doctor] to call me ASAP! My son has swallowed a nickel!”

Me: “Certainly. Just let me get some information and I’ll have [Doctor] call you right back.”

The woman gives me all the pertinent info. I call [Doctor] and wake him up from a very obvious sound sleep.

Me: “Sorry to wake you, [Doctor]. I’ve got a call from [Woman]; she says her son has swallowed a nickel.”

There’s a five-second pause.

Doctor: “So, is he choking or does she want me to make change?”

[florida80]

What A Heartless Joke!
BIZARRE, MALAYSIA, MEDICAL OFFICE, PRANKS, SCHOOL, STUDENTS | HEALTHY | MAY 29, 2020
My friend’s dad is a lecturer at a medical school. He has a friend with a rare condition called situs inversus, meaning his internal organs are mirror images of the usual configuration. He likes to pull a prank on first-year students.

Lecturer: “Is it possible for a person to have their organs the wrong way around and still be alive and healthy?”

Students: “No, sir!”

At some point later he brings his friend in as a model patient and has a student try to find his heartbeat.

After muddling around with a stethoscope, one particularly confused student responded, “Sir, this man has no heart!”

[florida80]

The Editors Thank You For This “Life Hack”!
CALIFORNIA, FRIENDS, HEALTH & BODY, HOME, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 28, 2020
I’m visiting a friend who is very fit and an avid hiker. As we’re both middle-aged, we’re commiserating over the usual aches and pains.

Friend: “Since my last hike, my lower back has been hurting. It’s not injured, just sore.”

Me: “That happens to me, too. Try stretching your hamstrings.”

Friend: “What? No, my legs are fine. My back hurts.”

Me: “Yeah, but sometimes tight hamstrings can pull on your lower back.”

Friend: “That doesn’t make any sense. My hamstrings are probably tight from hiking, but it has nothing to do with my back.”

Me: “Another woman in my ballet class didn’t believe me, either. But when she stretched out her hamstrings, her back felt better.”

Friend: “I just don’t see how it can work.”

Me: “Look. It’s safe and easy to try; just do it.”

Friend: “I don’t know.”

After about ten minutes of this back and forth, my friend finally puts her leg on a surface about hip height and gently stretches the back of the leg. Then, she does the other side. When she’s done, she tests her back.

Friend: “Hey! The pain’s mostly gone!”

Me: “Great!”

Friend: “Hamstrings affecting the back… Who knew?”

Me: “Me! I knew!”

[florida80]

We Know A Few People Who Could Use That Procedure
IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, JERK, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 27, 2020
I’m a pharmacy technician at a national pharmacy chain. On this particular morning, it’s just me and the pharmacist working. About two minutes after opening, an old woman comes up to the register.

Me: “Good morning. Could I get your name and date of birth, please?”

She gives me her name and birthday. I punch her information into the register and see that we have a prescription ready for her. I grab her prescription from the bin.

Me: “Okay, so, I’ve got your [commonly used blood pressure medication] ready for you.”

Customer: “No, no, no! I don’t need that; I need my Valium!”

From having entered her information into the register, I know we do not have any Valium ready for her, nor are we currently working on any for her. However, if a patient’s medication is on hold, or if we’ve just received it from the doctor and haven’t entered it yet, it won’t show up on the register. I inform the woman there’s no Valium in process for her but that I will check my computer to see if we have any for her.

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t have any Valium in my system for you anywhere. It’s possible that the doctor’s office hasn’t sent it to us yet; I would recommend that you give the office a call.”

Customer: *Now furious with me* “No! You’re lying! I know they sent it to you! They sent it to you yesterday and I need it now because I’m having brain surgery in forty-five minutes at [Hospital in a town thirty minutes away]!”

I’m just dumbstruck that someone would plan this poorly, but I maintain my professional composure.

Me: “I’m so sorry, ma’am, but I have not received any Valium prescription for you.”

Customer: “Well, this is just f****** ridiculous. This kind of s*** is why I changed pharmacies months ago.”

Me: *Slight pause* “Well, then… perhaps your prescription was sent to your current pharmacy?”

Customer: “No! I know for a fact that it was sent to you because I was standing right there when the doctor called you!”

I know this is a lie because of two things. First, doctors never call prescriptions in themselves; they have a nurse or receptionist do it. And second, Valium is a class IV controlled substance and therefore, in our state, it can only be sent to the pharmacy electronically, not over the phone.

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but again, I don’t have any prescription here for you. My best recommendation would be that you call the doctor and ask them to send it again as soon as possible.”

Customer: “No, there’s no time for that. When I get there, I’m gonna tell them it’s your fault that I have to postpone this operation!”

The woman storms off and I walk back to my workstation, almost in a daze.

Pharmacist: “Well, if she’s having brain surgery, I hope that means they’re going to install one.”

[florida80]

PLEASE Keep Washing Your Hands
CURRENT EVENTS, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, REVOLTING, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 26, 2020
I have a job that requires frequent handwashing, even prior to a certain global health crisis. A combination of the handwashing, stress, and weather results in what I suspect is eczema on my hands. I’ve never dealt with it before, and regular moisturizer isn’t cutting it, so eventually I go to see a dermatologist.

The doctor does a quick exam and determines that it is, in fact, eczema.

Dermatologist: “I’d recommend [Hand Cream] and I’ll prescribe you [Steroid Cream]. What did you say you did for a living? Is it possible you could wash your hands less often?”

Me: “I’m… not sure that’s really possible. I work in a lab, studying [bacteria known to cause flesh-eating disease].”

The doctor was speechless for a second and then laughed. I doubt she’d gotten that answer before.

Thanks to the prescription cream and a better moisturizing regimen, my hands are much improved, though I still need to wash them frequently!

[florida80]

Still A Dangerous Question
FAMILY & KIDS, MEDICAL OFFICE, MISSOURI, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 22, 2020
I’m at the doctor’s. One of the nurses is obviously very pregnant.

Me: “So, when are you due?”

Nurse: *Stares daggers at me* “I’m not pregnant.”

Me: “Nice try, but I heard you talking to the other nurse about being pregnant.”

Nurse: *Smiling* “Dang.”

[florida80]

This Should Have You In Stitches
ADORABLE CHILDREN, HEALTH & BODY, INSPIRATIONAL, KIND STRANGERS, MASSACHUSETTS, NON-DIALOGUE, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 21, 2020
I got in a minor motorcycle accident and I was in an emergency room to get stitches for a gash in my forehead. They told me they had a little girl, maybe six or seven, who needed stitches but was completely flipping out about it and asked if it would be okay to let her watch me.

So, basically, I had a little girl on a stool standing over me next to the doctor, and I chatted with her about how you can’t feel anything except some tugging, which doesn’t hurt after they give you anesthetics, as they stitched me up

[florida80]

Weighing Your Options
IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, LIARS/SCAMMERS, MICHIGAN, USA, VET | HEALTHY | MAY 20, 2020
I am a veterinarian working at a hospital, performing a routine examination on an animal. Falsifying any medical records, no matter how small, puts me at risk of losing my license.

Me: “Fluffy looks really good except for some dental tartar. We’re just here to update the rabies vaccine, right? I don’t believe he’s due for anything else.”

Owner: “Yes, and if you wouldn’t mind, I need you to change his weight on the rabies certificate; my new apartment won’t let dogs live there who weigh over fifty pounds.”

I look down at the dog, who is pushing eighty pounds.

Me: “I don’t think I’m going to be able to do that today for you. Is there anything else you need, though? Heartworm prevention?”

Owner: *Sighs heavily* “Well, they’ll kick me out if you don’t put down a lower weight, and I just recently got divorced, and all of this has just been a huge hassle.”

Me: *Gives the vaccines* “Yes, I understand. That sounds like a difficult time you’re going through. Well, Fluffy did really well! My assistant will check you out at the front desk.”

I proceed to leave the room and a moment later, I hear from the receptionist that the lady is getting pushier about changing the weight so I go up there.

Me: “It really isn’t possible. The certificate is a legal document and your dog is nowhere near fifty pounds.”

Owner: “Well, that’s just really not helpful. You’re making a difficult time even harder for me!”

I reiterated myself several times before the lady left fuming. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the only time I’d been asked to falsify things.

[florida80]

The Right Dentist Can Make You Smile In So Many Ways
AWESOME, COLORADO, DENTIST, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, INSPIRATIONAL, JERK, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 19, 2020
Like a lot of people, I hate going to the dentist. My first memory of going to the dentist was traumatic and growing up I inherited my parent’s bad teeth, which made dental visits painful and embarrassing. Unfortunately, my attempts at better dental hygiene ended up ruining my teeth; it got to the point where every single tooth was rotting and needed to be pulled.

The first dentist I went to for a checkup and to discuss my options insisted on pulling my teeth that day. He went on and on about how the infection was going to spread to my brain and kill me. The staff insisted my insurance would cover it, but only the novocaine. He didn’t pull all my teeth — ten or less — and it lasted two hours. Later, I received a bill for all the little fees that the staff conveniently didn’t go over. I decided infection and potential death wasn’t too bad if it meant avoiding bills.

A couple of years later, after I had to switch insurance, and at the insistence of my therapists and case manager, I went to the dentist again — a different place this time.

The first visit was a check-up and only that. We talked about my options, and there was no pressure on what I should do or that I needed to get it done right then and there. The assistant even expressed sympathy when she saw how bad my teeth were instead of being judgmental. I set up several appointments to get my teeth pulled and get dentures.

Despite having to do everything in stages, the process was quick. My insurance would cover the surgery, but only the basics. The dentist, who had a heart of gold, gave me laughing gas anyway, no charge.

They made dentures on-site, so I was able to get dentures fitted as soon as I was healed. For the first time since I was a child, I smiled without covering my face and the staff was thrilled. I can’t thank them enough for all the kindness they showed me.

[florida80]

When A Date Leaves You Cold
CALIFORNIA, DATING, NON-DIALOGUE, SKATING RINK, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 18, 2020
Back in January of this year, I went on a date with a guy I had met on a popular dating app — the one where the girl has to make the first move.

We met up for dinner and drinks and things were going very well! He was nice and funny and I was enjoying his company. He was an EMT; this is important later in the story.

After dinner, he suggested we go to an ice rink to go ice skating. I was skeptical, as I’m a very clumsy person and can barely stand up on my own two feet on solid ground, and I knew I was going to thoroughly embarrass myself at the rink. But I said yes anyway.

For the first hour, things went well. We were both hobbling along the side of the wall and making fun of each other’s form, but I got cocky, pushed away from the wall, and ate it. I landed on my butt and tried to catch myself with my arm. I landed so hard my ears were ringing and I was woozy.

My date had to help me off the ice and he immediately went into EMT mode, rolling up my sleeve and feeling around my arm to see if he could feel any breaks.

Besides the numbness in my arm, we both agreed that it probably wasn’t broken, and I turned down his offer to take me to the emergency room.

We spent the next six hours on a cliff overlooking the beach, with me flinching at the slightest touch to my arm.

When I woke up the next day, I was in tears. My entire arm was black and blue and swollen beyond belief; I couldn’t even put a shirt on without crying out in pain. I had to have my brother take me to Urgent Care.

While at Urgent Care, the doctor on call told me that not only was my elbow broken, but that I had fractured my wrist, as well, when I tried to stop myself from falling. The impact of me landing on my wrist fractured it and broke my elbow almost immediately, but the massive swelling that immediately took place is what made my date unable to tell that my arm was broken.

There was so much fluid in my arm that it felt like a normal arm.

I was immediately taken off work for the next four months, as I am a barista while finishing school, and I teased my date about my arm all the time. We dated for a month but decided we were better off as friends.

We’re still friends to this day, and I still give him crap about my elbow.

It still hurts when the weather gets cold, too, even after having it out of a sling for six weeks.

[florida80]

Nurses Aren’t Always Faithful To Listen To Their Patients
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, MEDICAL OFFICE, MINNESOTA, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 16, 2020
Unfortunately, I have notoriously difficult veins to hit when I need blood drawn. Many, many seasoned medical professionals have tried and failed to hit the veins in my arm. Usually after poking me up to six times — ouch! — they find a vein in my hand they can use that I have started calling Old Faithful.

Doctor: “We’re going to draw some blood for labs.”

Me: “Okay, but I have really, really bad veins despite all the water I drink. Send in your best vein finder — it’ll save everyone a lot of time — and tell them to go for this vein in my hand.”

Doctor: *Chuckles* “Oh, I’m sure it’s not that bad. People always say they have bad veins but usually it’s because they had a bad experience. You’ll be fine.”

Me: “I had cancer two years ago. My blood is drawn all the time at every doctor I visit. My veins are so bad people have had to use ultrasound machines to find them. Whoever is drawing my blood needs to go through my hand after using a warming pack. I cannot stress enough just how hard my veins are to hit.”

Doctor: “It’s more painful when we stick your hand instead of your arm.”

Me: “Usually, it’s more painful, yes, but I have Old Faithful here, and someone hitting her on the first or second try is much better than them trying four or five times on each arm before going through my hand anyway.”

The doctor leaves, shaking his head, and sure enough, the nurse who comes in ten minutes later tries my arm first despite my pleading. She tries twice before I say anything more.

Me: *Pained* “Please just use my hand.”

Nurse #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Oh, but it’s so painful through the hand! I’ll go get [Nurse #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ]; she’s very good at hitting veins!”

[Nurse #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] enters and sticks my arm three more times before switching to my other arm, despite my protests. My entire forearm hurts at this point, and I’m annoyed that three different people have ignored me. [Nurse #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] misses yet again.

Me: “Go through my hand, please; you’ll hit Old Faithful so much faster.”

Nurse #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *Trying my arm yet again* “The hand is more—”

Me: *Snappy* “More painful! Yes, I know! Everyone keeps saying that, but you know what really hurts? Being jabbed seven times in the wrong place because no one will listen when I tell them I have bad veins! Just go through my hand, please!”

Nurse #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Fine, fine, I’ll give it a try. It’s gonna hurt.”

She hit Old Faithful easily and immediately and got the blood needed in less than two minutes. The arm that was jabbed five times predictably had four large bruises — two had merged into one huge super-bruise — where the vein finding attempts were made, and now I refuse to let anyone touch me until they confirm they’ll try my hand first. Old Faithful hasn’t let me down yet.

[florida80]

“Patient Presented With Symptoms Of Not Being Dead”
HEALTH & BODY, HIGH SCHOOL, NURSES, TEACHERS, USA, WISCONSIN | HEALTHY | MAY 15, 2020
In gym class, we are learning how to check our pulse by placing our index and middle fingers on the carotid artery, on the neck to the side of the windpipe. The teacher is having the class run laps and take our pulse.

My friend is having a hard time finding her carotid artery and can’t take her pulse. She approaches the gym teacher for help. The teacher tries to find her carotid artery on her neck.

Teacher: “I don’t know… Go see the nurse.”

Friend: “Seriously? I have a pulse. I’m fine.”

Teacher: “Well, I can’t find it. Go see the nurse.”

My friend reported to the very puzzled school nurse who confirmed that she did, in fact, have a pulse and helped her find it. I sometimes wonder if that nurse had to keep medical records for students, and what on earth she wrote for that patient encounter.

[florida80]

Preventative Procedures Protect Patients And Pets
CURRENT EVENTS, JERK, PATIENTS, PENNSYLVANIA, USA, VET | HEALTHY | MAY 14, 2020
Because of the recent health crisis, our vet has decided not to allow people in the building. This is made clear when you make the appointment. You call to say you’ve arrived and someone comes out to take your pet. Then, the vet calls to discuss the visit and payment is taken when your pet is returned. It’s extra work and wait time, but I understand their caution.

I am waiting in my car for my vet to run my bank card when a woman pulls up and gets out of her car. She has a small dog in a blanket in her arms. She approaches the door and pushes, but it is locked. She looks through the window, knocks, and then steps back. I think that is when she notices the sign on the door, explaining the new procedure. The woman takes a picture of the sign using her phone camera and then knocks again, harder this time.

Finally, the receptionist comes to the door. Before unlocking it, the receptionist pulls her mask over her face. The woman on the outside — who is not wearing a mask — rolls her eyes and twirls her free hand in a “hurry up” motion.

Receptionist: “Yes, ma’am?”

Woman: “We have an appointment.”

She tries to push the door open but the receptionist holds her ground.

Receptionist: “Okay, I’ll get your paperwork together if you’ll just head back to your vehicle and—”

Woman: “No, just move. This is ridiculous.”

Receptionist: “I know it’s strange, but we have adapted a new protocol because of—”

Woman: “I don’t care. You can’t deny me entry when you’re expecting me.” *Pushes again* “Move!”

The receptionist does not move but pushes the door shut and locks it. The woman pounds on the glass so hard it shakes. A moment later, the receptionist returns with the vet. This time they do not unlock the door.

Woman: “Finally! This girl won’t let me in!”

Vet: “I am sorry, but we cannot allow you in the building.”

Woman: “This is illegal!”

Vet: “No, ma’am, I assure you it’s not.”

Woman: “How can you do this?”

The vet explains how things are currently being run.

Woman: *With her nose in the air* “Well, I’ll just go to another vet!”

Vet: “Have your new veterinarian call me for your dog’s medical history.”

The vet and receptionist walk away, leaving the woman fuming at the door. She stands there for a little while before getting back in her car and driving off. The receptionist then comes out with my bank card and receipt.

Receptionist: “Hi, sorry for the wait. I was coming out to you before… but… that woman…”

Me: “Totally understandable. I wouldn’t have come out, either.”

I don’t know what happened with that woman, but I do know that every vet office in the area is run by the same medical staff and operating under the same protocol.

[florida80]

Revenge Served Cold And With A Side Of Cotton Swabs
AUSTRALIA, CURRENT EVENTS, HOSPITAL, NEW SOUTH WALES, NURSES, PATIENTS, SILLY | HEALTHY | MAY 12, 2020
As part of the world outbreak, the hospital that I work for is doing a free drive-thru clinic that you have to ring and make an appointment for. The swabs are nasopharyngeal, which means throat first and then up the nose to an unpleasant degree.

One of the nurses taking the samples is looking through the list of people coming.

Nurse #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Oh! [Patient]! I call dibs on him.”

Nurse #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Um, sure, but can we ask why?”

Nurse #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Sure. Thirty years ago, he broke my nose at a school dance. I can finally get payback!”

Sure enough, when he arrives, she goes to his door.

Nurse #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Hello! [Patient], do you remember me?”

Patient: “You are covered head to toe in PPE; I can’t see you!”

Nurse #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Oh, right. I’m [Nurse #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ]; you broke my nose thirty years ago.”

Patient: “Oh, my goodness!” *Starts laughing* “Yes, I remember that. I’m still sorry. Get on with it, then!”

She does. He coughs and splutters and, with tears in his eyes, he asks:

Patient: “Are we even?”

Nurse #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Yup! Good luck with your results!”

[florida80]

Patient Patients Make The World (And Not Illnesses) Go Around
CURRENT EVENTS, HOSPITAL, INSPIRATIONAL, KIND STRANGERS, PATIENTS, UK | HEALTHY | MAY 11, 2020
My new job is booking appointments for radiology services, and work is split into modalities — obstetrics, x-ray, fluoroscopy, CT, MRI, etc. So, they start me on an easy modality: obstetrics.

I have to work out twelve-week scan dates, book the appointments, and let the women know that due to the recent global health crisis, they must attend their appointments alone to reduce visitors to the hospital and reduce risk of infecting mother, baby, and other patients and staff.

Most are so polite; some even ask how our day is.

The best patient I’ve spoken to was a foreign lady.

Me: “Hi. Can I speak to [Patient], please?”

Patient: “Speaking.”

Me: “Hi. It’s [My Name] calling from [Hospital] appointment centre.”

Patient: “Oh, hi! How are you?”

Me: “I’m good, thanks, and you? You have an appointment, and we just need to check. You have no symptoms of the recent outbreak?”

Patient: “No, no, love.”

Me: “Great. Unfortunately, you do have to attend your scan on your own…”

Patient: “That’s fine. I’ll just leave him at home.”

Me: *Laughs* “Okay, we just wanted to check.”

Patient: “No problem. You have a wonderful day, [My Name]!”

Me: “You, too! We’ll see you then!”

This was the best call I ever made.

However, some pregnant women don’t like being told what to do. One tried to bend the rules by asking if her husband could attend in full Personal Protective Equipment!

She wasn’t happy to hear no.

[florida80]

The Flu Shot Isn’t Hazardous, But The Nurses Might Be!
IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, JERK, NURSES, PHARMACY, UK | HEALTHY | MAY 10, 2020
I have just had a flu shot. As I have a fear of needles, I tend to get quite dizzy and sweaty beforehand, and it takes me a couple of minutes for me to recover afterward. I’m sitting in a chair when the woman who gave me the shot comes over.

Woman: “You didn’t say you were allergic to eggs?”

Me: “I’m not.”

Woman: “Well, you are. It’s very stupid that you didn’t tell the truth. Now I’m going to have to phone for an ambulance.”

Me: “No, I’m just feeling a bit sickly. I’m not allergic to eggs.”

She is already on the phone talking to someone saying “how stupid” I am. By the time an ambulance arrives, I’m already better and trying to leave, but the woman is refusing to let me. When the paramedics come in, I’m forced onto a gurney while the woman talks over me.

Paramedic: “Okay, the pharmacist says you have an egg allergy. Did you know before having your shot?”

Me: “I do not have an egg allergy!”

Paramedic: “Are you certain?”

Me: “Do I look like I’m having a reaction? I’ve had these shots every year of my life, and if you don’t believe me, I had three eggs in the cafe next door for breakfast. Ask them!”

The paramedic checked me over just to be sure before leaving. I was left alone with the woman. She tutted at me and disappeared through a door. I’m never going back.

[florida80]

Humans Aren’t The Only Creatures Capable Of Drama
CALIFORNIA, EDITORS' CHOICE, PETS & ANIMALS, POLICE, USA, VET | HEALTHY | MAY 8, 2020
The office I work at has a contract with the city police department. We take and treat all sick and injured strays and anything the animal control officers feel needs medical care before going to the shelter. We are open late nights for emergencies, and we get calls fairly regularly from police dispatch saying an officer is bringing in something.

One night, we are running short-staffed due to family emergencies with the people scheduled. Thankfully, it’s a slow night. Then, we get a phone call.

Me: “This is [Clinic]; how can I help you?”

Dispatch: “This is [Police Department] dispatch. We have an officer-involved shooting, officer injured, in route, eta ten minutes.”

Me: “Um, this is the veterinarian.”

Dispatch: “I know; it’s a K9 officer.”

Me: “Oh, um, okay. How bad is he hurt?”

Dispatch: “Unknown. All I know is that they are on their way to you and I was told to call and give you a heads-up.”

Me: “Okay, then, thanks”

I go tell the doctor, he freaks out, thinking this officer has been shot in the chest or something and is going to die on our table because we are really not equipped to handle a gunshot right now. We get the surgery room as ready as we can and wait until they pull up.

The officers all get out of the car. The K9 is limping but walking on his own, and we all let out a sigh of relief.

The K9’s partner can’t tell us much for confidentiality reasons, but this is what he could tell us. There was a suspect with a knife, an officer with a gun, and an officer with a dog. During the capture of the suspect, the dog was released and the gun was fired. While the other officers were booking the suspect, the K9’s partner noticed that the K9’s paw was covered in blood, and the K9 would not let his partner touch his foot. So, they came to us.

We get the officers inside and get the K9 on the exam table, and then it takes a muzzle, his partner, both our techs, and me all holding onto different parts of the dog to keep him on the table while the doctor tries to look at his paw. The paw is soaked in blood. Step one is to pour hydrogen peroxide on it to clean it up and find the wound.

After a while, the doc asks a question.

Doctor: “Are we sure this isn’t transfer from the suspect?”

Partner: “Suspect was not injured.”

Doctor: “Are you 100% sure about that? I’m not seeing any cuts or anything”

The partner called in over the radio to confirm that the only injury involved was to the K9.

The doc had a completely clean paw in his hands and was looking between toes and not finding any broken skin. And then, we saw it: a single drop of blood forming midway down a toenail.

Big brave police dog chipped a nail and acted like his foot had been shot off.

[florida80]

Watch Your Mouth, Or I’ll Call Your Father!
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, CURRENT EVENTS, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, INSPIRATIONAL, PATIENTS, SILLY | HEALTHY | MAY 6, 2020
I have injured the inside of my mouth to the point where I am drooling a copious amount of blood. I text my parents telling them what’s happening before I head to the emergency room. While I wait, I text back and forth with my mother until I’m seen by the doctor.

Due to the current global health crisis, the emergency room is practically empty and I am admitted almost ten minutes later.

Doctor: “Your name is [My Name], and your birthdate is [date], correct?”

I nod, as it’s hard for me to speak.

Doctor: “All right, I’m going to have a look at your mouth here.”

She begins my exam and chuckles slightly.

Doctor: “You know, you share the same last name as one of the doctors here. What a small world, huh?”

My last name, though somewhat common, is uncommon in the area we live in. I type on my phone so she can see.

My Text: “My dad is the chief of emergency medicine; [Father]. Please treat me like a normal patient and just let him know what your action plan is, or he’ll worry.”

Doctor: *Reading* “Oh! I thought your mouth looked familiar!”

I try my best not to smile as she finishes her exam, which ends with me gaining seven stitches at the back of my mouth. The doctor disappears for a few minutes, returning with a lollipop for me for being “such a brave boy.”

Doctor: “Well, since you were such a good boy, I got you a lollipop, and there is a surprise waiting for you at the front door. Have a good night and take care of yourself, [My Name]!”

I thanked her and began to leave, walking through the deserted lobby. I suddenly heard my name being called from behind one of the doors to the emergency department, and there was my father, who I hadn’t seen in three weeks due to the crisis.

[florida80]

Red Paint In A Hospital Ward Is Just Asking For Trouble
ART/DESIGN, AUCKLAND, HOSPITAL, NEW ZEALAND, NON-DIALOGUE, PATIENTS, SILLY | HEALTHY | MAY 4, 2020
I was in hospital for a severe illness. Because doctors were unable to identify what was causing it at my age, given I was in my twenties, I was in a ward for many weeks while they did multiple tests.

Being a fairly active person prior, I didn’t take sitting idle very well. So, after a few days, I was restless, despite being unwell.

I really enjoy crafty activities. The hospital happened to be holding an in-house competition where each individual ward got a theme, with the best decorated getting a prize.

Being absolutely bored out of my mind, I asked if I could help them out with making decorations, which they agreed to. They provided the crafting gear and paints, and we made some pretty cool decorations.

However, I will never forget the poor cleaners that came to do their rounds through the ward one afternoon and found me cross-legged on my bed, arms and gown covered in red paint, because I had dropped a large painted piece of decoration on myself.

One emergency call to nurses later, and I ended up not doing most of the painting activities following that.

That ward won the competition, and after an emergency surgery, I’m doing much better.

[florida80]

Phoning In The Excuses
CANADA, CURRENT EVENTS, LIARS/SCAMMERS, OPTOMETRIST/OPTICIAN, PATIENTS, RECEPTION, VANCOUVER | HEALTHY | MAY 3, 2020
I work as a medical receptionist for a retinal specialist. The medical building where our office is located has nineteen floors and each floor has up to five medical offices in it.

Due to the current health crisis, the main door of the building is closed; for the patients to get access, someone has to physically let them in. For the last month, this has been my task. When someone approaches the door, I have to greet them, ask them to step back six feet as required by CDC and WHO, and ask them about their recent travel and health history.

There are still quite a few of the specialists in the building that need to see their patients in person, but not all of them have enough staff on payroll to have a greeter. I am only authorized to let my own doctor’s patients in after they have passed the screening and check them off my list. I am forbidden from letting anyone else in unless they are an employee that I recognize or has a valid pass.

A lot of the people stopping by do not feel that they have to be inconvenienced by the rules meant to protect them.

One of the doctors I don’t work for requires that once their patients arrive, they call their office so one of the staff can come down and collect their patients. I am the one that has to explain this to them. The majority comply but quite a few give me trouble. One particular lady, though, takes the cake.

Me: “I am sorry, but due to the current crisis, I can only let my own patients in and no one else.”

Lady: “I do not have my phone with me.”

Me: “I am unable to help you since I do not work for your doctor.”

Lady: “YOU HAVE TO LET ME IN! I AM ALREADY LATE!”

She moves very close to me, less than two feet. I quickly close the door. She starts banging on the glass. I gesture for her to move further for nearly five minutes before she will comply. I look around for the security guard but do not see him.

The lady moves away from the door. I open the door and repeat the rules to her. She screams at me that she does not have her phone with her. I repeat that, in that case, I am unable to help her since I can’t leave my station.

A few minutes later, as I escort a leaving patient out — both because said patient has mobility issues and to prevent the lady from sneaking in — I spot her staring at her phone.

Me: *Somewhat smugly* “I was under the impression that you did not have your phone with you?”

The lady turned bright red and glared at me.

[florida80]

Time To Terminate Your Relationship With This Receptionist
JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, RECEPTION, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 2, 2020
I recently found out that I am pregnant. After discussing it with my husband and taking into account our extensive family history of medical problems along with our own, we decide to terminate the pregnancy.

I call a well-known health and wellness center to schedule a date for the procedure and am told that, due to my health history, I have to go to my gynecologist before I can terminate. I call to schedule that appointment.

Receptionist: “[Doctor]’s office.”

Me: “Hi. My name is [My Name]. I’d like to schedule an appointment with [Doctor].”

Receptionist: “Okay, is this an annual review?”

Me: “Um, no, I’m pregnant.”

Receptionist: “Oh, [Doctor] only deals with exams. She doesn’t do anything with pregnancies.”

Me: “Oh. I was told to meet with her—”

Receptionist: “Who said that?”

Me: “[Wellness Center].”

Receptionist: *With an attitude* “Why are you going there?”

Me: “That’s something I’ll be discussing with the doctor, thank you.”

Receptionist: “Are you having an abortion?”

Me: “Again, that is something I will discuss with the doctor.”

Receptionist: “Well, like I said, she doesn’t do those appointments.”

Me: “Fine. I’d like a wellness visit, then.”

Receptionist: “No, we can’t see you.”

She hangs up on me. Unfortunately for her, the doctor’s office has recently started using an app to help patients get in touch with their doctor and track their health. I send a message to my doctor, detailing my interaction with the receptionist.

The next day, I get a call from the office. It is the same receptionist.

Me: “Hello?”

Receptionist: *Huffy* “[My Name]?”

Me: “Yes.”

Receptionist: “The doctor will see you on [date] at [time]. Will that work for you?”

Me: “Yes, that’s fine.”

Receptionist: “Fine.”

She hung up again. At my appointment, the doctor apologized for the receptionist and said she was dealt with. I don’t know if she was fired or they just had a conversation. My doctor supported my decision and I had no complications.

[florida80]

Always Be Honest At The Doctor’s
EDITORS' CHOICE, HEALTH & BODY, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, PENNSYLVANIA, PITTSBURGH, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 1, 2020
I have to go get routine blood work and I am not required to fast. I normally get lightheaded and dizzy when doing blood work but only when I have to fast. Still, I’m not the best with needles so I always try to warn the phlebotomist ahead of time.

Me: “Hey, just so you know, I’m not good with getting blood drawn and I have nearly fainted in the past once.”

Phlebotomist: “Nope, not again. Stand up.”

She has me get up off the chair so she can recline it so I’m less likely to get woozy.

Me: “What did you mean not again?”

Phlebotomist: “I’ve had three appointments already today where people have fainted because they neglected to tell me they had issues with getting blood drawn until after they were on the ground.”

[florida80]

Feeling A Little Sore About This Nurse
EMERGENCY ROOM, ILLINOIS, NURSES, SILLY, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 30, 2020
I’m working on a project at home and slice my thumb pretty bad. Don’t play with Exacto knives, kids! After forty-five minutes, the bleeding still hasn’t stopped, so my husband and I decide to head to the ER to see if I need stitches.

Fortunately, the doctor is able to glue it back together and I don’t need stitches after all, but I do need a Tetanus shot. The doctor leaves the room and the nurse comes in.

Nurse: “Which arm would you like it in, sweetie?”

Me: “Is it going to cause any muscle soreness tomorrow?”

I ask her this because I’m a photographer and need to use my right arm. I know some shots have this side effect but can’t remember for sure. If it’s not going to cause soreness, then I prefer it in my right arm since I cut my left thumb and don’t want to double up on the discomfort, but if it is going to be sore, then I do want it in my left so my right arm can still be functional for work the next day.

I probably should explain all that, but it’s 1:00 am and I’m tired.

Nurse: “Oh, no, you’ll be fine!”

Me: “Okay, right arm, then.”

She gives me the shot and is cleaning up and getting ready to leave when the doctor comes back in with my discharge instructions.

Doctor: “Okay, so, your arm is going to be pretty sore tomorrow from the shot, but don’t worry; that’s completely normal.”

The nurse freezes in the doorway when he says this, and I look at her in shock.

Nurse: *Muttering* “Rats, almost made it.”

Me: *Incredulous* “You dirty liar!”

I say this very jokingly because we’ve been lighthearted all along and in the grand scheme of things this doesn’t really matter much.

Nurse: “If I had told you that you’d be sore, you would have refused the shot!”

I sigh over-dramatically, turning to the doctor.

Me: “I’m gonna need a work note.”

[florida80]

Leave The Medicine To The Medical Professionals
CURRENT EVENTS, CUSTOMER SERVICE, FLORIDA, PATIENTS, POLITICS, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 29, 2020
I work for a mail-order pharmacy that also manages pharmacy benefits. I work in our Medicare division, so 95% of my customers are over 65. This is just after the president has started to praise a certain medication for Lupus as a treatment for this recent widespread illness.

I get a call from a woman nearly sobbing.

Me: “This is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, this is [Caller]. I saw on the news that the president was saying [Drug] could treat the outbreak.”

As I am pulling up our scripting about this, I look at her account and see she is already taking the medication and has claims going back a couple of years.

Me: “Well, ma’am, we understand the concern—”

Caller: “Is there going to be a shortage? What if I can’t get my Lupus medication? I’ve been taking this for ten years!”

This poor woman is sobbing.

Me: “Ma’am, I certainly understand your concern. And we are keeping up with the reports coming out. At this time, I want to assure you that we are prioritizing our patients who already have a valid prescription. If you’re still worried, then when it’s time to renew the prescription, have your doctor state the reason it’s being prescribed. At this time, we have not received word of a shortage, but we are monitoring the situation daily.”

Caller: “Oh, thank you! I just heard the president saying it on TV and now I’m afraid everyone is going to buy it up!”

Me: “Again, I can understand, ma’am. Please know that if there is an issue, we will let you know right away! Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Caller: “No. Oh, God bless you! Thank you!”

She was one of eight that week. Do these politicians not realize their words have effects on people?

[florida80]

Nonagenarians Living On The Edge
ASSISTED LIVING, HEALTH & BODY, HOME, PENNSYLVANIA, PITTSBURGH, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 28, 2020
I am an aide for the elderly. I’ve been sick for a few days and since all of my clients are high-risk — as am I because of asthma — I decide to call in sick for a week, just to make sure it isn’t anything serious.

One of my clients has managed to get my personal number and gives me a call.

Client: “[My Name]? Hello!”

Me: “Hello, Miss [Client], how are you?”

Client: “I’m fine. Listen, I was just talking to my son and he is worried about all this nonsense. He wants to cancel your appointments for the month.”

Me: “Oh, that’s actually a great idea! You’re very high-risk because you’re in your nineties and on oxygen. I’m glad you listened to him. Plus, I’m sick, too, so I was really worried about infecting you if this is more serious. “

Client: “You know I don’t care. If I get this disease, then it’s a good day.”

I’m used to her talking like this.

Me: “No, no, no, you don’t want to die from this; it’s pretty bad. You want to go peacefully in bed, remember?”

Client: “Right, right. So, I won’t see you during this month. But you can stop by anytime if you’re in the neighborhood!”

I’m trying not to laugh.

Me: “Miss [Client], I can’t. The whole purpose is to keep you safe.”

She is one of my favorite clients. She’s one of those tough cookies but has a good heart. I’m sure she’s going to be super lonely this month but I told her to call me anytime she wanted to! Also, for those curious, I am feeling a little better but still coughing and having trouble breathing. Yay, asthma.

[florida80]

Pussies Playing Possum
AUSTRALIA, BIZARRE, NEW SOUTH WALES, PETS & ANIMALS, VET | HEALTHY | APRIL 27, 2020
I have a cat who had a rough life before she came to me. She was wandering around in the bushland for most of her life and leaving her kittens with people who worked in a building in the area. She was eventually trapped and brought to me as a feral for my barn program. However, we discovered she was friendly and I adopted her and named her Possum.

Possum has some health problems which means a trip to the vet every six months or so. She’s had to have most of her teeth removed, and she has skin problems, pre-cancerous nodules on her throat, and arthritis.

Possum has a purr that sounds roughly like a cross between a demented kookaburra and a lawnmower with a broken blade. She’s also incredibly loud to the point where it’s difficult to hold a conversation in the same room with her when she’s stressed, which means most of this conversation is carried by yelling over the top of her.

I’m leaving the consult room with Possum in a carrier.

Me: “Thanks again for everything. I’ll see you soon.”

Possum: “BRAAAAAAAAAP!”

Me: “How much do I owe?”

Vet Nurse: “It’s [price]. We’ll just get the tablets for you.”

Possum: “BRAAAAAAAAP!”

Other Client: “What do you have in there?”

Me: “Possum.”

Possum: “BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!”

Other Client: “You have a possum in there?”

Me: “What? No, she’s a cat. Her name is Possum.”

The other client looks into the carrier. Possum chokes on her purr and squawks like a dying chicken.

Other Client: “What the f***?”

Possum: “BRAAAAAAAAP!”

I laughed so hard I had to put the carrier down and hang on to the counte

[florida80]

Suffocating Under The Weight Of Lazy Doctors
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, EMERGENCY ROOM, HOSPITAL, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, USA, WASHINGTON | HEALTHY | APRIL 26, 2020
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

I have a medical condition that makes colds and the flu very dangerous for me. I could die from either. I catch the flu despite having gotten vaccinated; the shot doesn’t always work 100%. I am prescribed antiviral medication and actually start feeling better.

But then, I wake up in the middle of the night feeling like I am trying to breathe through Jello. The flu has triggered bronchitis, so I pack a bag and go to the ER.

The doctor there isn’t taking it seriously at all but I know I am in no shape to go home with oral antibiotics. The ER doc has been on the phone with my specialist.

ER Doctor: “Doctor [Specialist] said to send you home with oral antibiotics.”

Me: “Absolutely not. This is probably the sickest I’ve ever been. You never even listened to my lungs, so how can you give my doctor an accurate picture of what’s going on? I’ve had doctors listen to my lungs when I come in for a sprained ankle!”

ER Doctor: “Well, the hospital is pretty full right now, so we’re not going to admit you.”

Me: “Yes, you are! Figure it out, because I’m not going home!”

ER Doctor: “Uh, well… I’ll see what I can do.”

He had a nurse come in and put a pulse-ox monitor on me to measure my pulse and oxygen level and then had me walk. I didn’t make it twenty feet before my oxygen tanked. The doctor was shocked. He thought that everything would be fine and it would prove to me that I was healthy enough to go home. But I obviously wasn’t fine, so they admitted me.

I had a room upstairs about an hour later. He never did listen to my lungs which infuriated my specialist. I spent a week in the hospital and another month recovering at home. I also filed a grievance against that ER doc.

[florida80]

Did You Try Reading The Directions?
PHARMACY, RHODE ISLAND, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 25, 2020
A customer comes up to me with a book and a pair of reading glasses.

Customer: “Hi. I have a question. Maybe you can help me.”

Me: “Okay. I can try.”

Customer: “My doctor told me I should get reading glasses, but I don’t understand. Do I put the glasses on over my others? I asked my doctor and he didn’t answer me.”

Me: “Um… no. You just put the reading glasses on.”

Customer: “Oh. Okay. I mean, I can see the writing better this way, but I don’t know why my doctor wouldn’t answer when I asked him. I mean, how am I supposed to wear two pairs of glasses?”

[florida80]

Hope You Like Puppies
PETS & ANIMALS, STUPID, USA, VET | HEALTHY | APRIL 24, 2020
I work in a veterinary hospital. A client walks up to the desk.

Client: “I want to give the vaccine to my dog to make her have no more babies.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Client: “You know! The vaccine you give so she can’t have babies.”

Me: “Unfortunately, there is no vaccine that can do that.”

Client: “Oh, then how do you do it?!”

Me: “It’s a surgery; we remove their uterus and their ovaries.”

Client: “Dios mío, no. I’ll leave now. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Me: “Have a good day.”

[florida80]

“Opportunistic” Might Be Less Harsh
CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, FINLAND, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | APRIL 23, 2020
Customer: “To whom can I give this medical waste?”

I notice that the product contains a mild opiate.

Me: “You can give it to me; I’ll make sure it’s properly discarded.”

Customer: “Yeah, I figured that I could have made some money selling it on the street, but that would have been too much of a hassle!”

Me: “Not to mention illegal…”

[florida80]

Mass Decapitations Means It’s Christmas!
BAD BEHAVIOR, OREGON, PHARMACY, PORTLAND, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 27, 2018
(I get a call from a lady who is very upset about some photos she sent to be printed.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. My name is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Caller: “You ruined my Christmas! All of the photos I just ordered today have the heads cut off! I can’t use these as Christmas cards! I want a refund or a reprint!”

Me: “No problem. Let me look up your order real quick.” *looks up order* “I’m sorry, miss, but it seems you ordered these through our app or online. Unfortunately, if you want these to be cropped the way you want them, I’m going to need you to come into the store; we would be happy to redo them for free.”

Caller: “This is ridiculous! I don’t have time for this! I can’t believe you guys can’t do your f****** job!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but if that’s not something you would like, I’m sure my manager would be okay with us giving you a refund.”

Caller: “I don’t have time to come back to that store! I can’t believe you won’t remake them! This is ridiculous!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’d be happy to help you remake them or give you a refund. But for either one you have to be at our store.”

(After another five minutes of her screaming at me, I get my manager to talk to her.)

Manager: “Thank you for holding. How may I help you?”

(The lady is screaming through the phone the same things she has told me already.)

Manager: “I’m so sorry that this happened. I would be willing to help you remake them or give you a full refund if you come back in.”

(The lady on the phone is now screaming so loud I can hear from next to my manager.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but unfortunately, unless you’re present in our store, I can’t give you a refund or remake your photos.”

(This continues for a good ten minutes.)

Manager: “Ma’am, what would you like us to do for you?”

(The lady is still screaming something about how we can’t do our jobs correctly.)

Manager: “Ma’am, what would you like us to do for you? I’ve given you your two choices; if you’re not satisfied with that then I can give you our 1-800 number.”

(The lady continues to scream at her for not being helpful.)

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but if you’re going to continue to scream at me then I’m going to have to hang up. I’ve given you your two choices in what we can do for you. If you’re not satisfied, then you can call our 1-800 number and leave a complaint.”

(The lady continues to scream at her.)

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but that’s all I can do. I’m going to hang up now.”

(The lady continues to scream.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m going to hang up now. We hope to see you in soon. Have a good day.”

(The manager hangs up phone.)

Me: “Wow… she was not happy.”

Manager: “She said she was driving on her way to our store, anyway. Guess it wasn’t too much of an issue for her to come over. I’m just glad I don’t have to talk to her anymore.”

[florida80]

Proving He Is The Biggest P***k
HARASSMENT, MICHIGAN, PHARMACY, RUDE & RISQUE, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 26, 2018
I am a cashier at a pharmacy chain. A man comes in to the store and immediately asks where to find condoms. It is company policy to walk each customer to the product they are looking for if at all possible. Being a good employee, I walk the man to the “Family Planning” aisle, and show him where to find the condoms.

Rather than leaving our encounter to a minimum, he decides to ask me which condoms I like. Not only am I a woman, but I’m very uncomfortable discussing sex with anyone, especially strangers.

After explaining that I have no preference, and that it’s all up to him, he asks, “Which are the biggest ones? I need the biggest, because I am the biggest.” I am mortified.

I leave him in the aisle by himself, and he chooses a brand for purchase. No more than two minutes after ringing him out, he comes back in to the store, with the package opened, and one condom missing. He slaps the package on the counter and yells, “They’re too tight! I’m returning these, and I need your number… You single?”

I have my manager run the return as I go to the stock room to hide.

[florida80]

Will Never Look Back Again
HEALTH & BODY, MONTANA, PHARMACY, USA, WORDPLAY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 20, 2018
(I work on the retail side of a pharmacy, usually stocking shelves or helping customers. One day a young lady, maybe 19 or 20, approaches me, clearly embarrassed.)

Customer: *whispering* “Do you have, um, like, douches, but, um, for, like, the…” *I can now barely hear her* “…butt?”

Me: *stifling laughter* “Enema. The word you’re looking for is ‘enema,’ and yes, over this way.”

(I will forever call them “butt douches” from now on.)

[florida80]

This Story Has Some Darker Connotations
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, PHARMACY, VANCOUVER, WORDPLAY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 19, 2018
(I’m the customer in this story. I am Caucasian, of Irish and Scottish descent, and have extremely pale skin.)

Me: “Hi. Do you have melanin?”

Pharmacy Worker: “Sorry?”

Me: “Melanin, do you guys carry it?”

Pharmacy Worker: “No, I don’t think so.”

Me: “Drat, are you sure? My doctor told me I should get some before I went on my trip.”

Pharmacy Worker: “I don’t think it works like that.”

Me: “With respect, I’m going to listen to my doctor about how to treat my jet lag.”

Pharmacy Worker: “Jet lag? OH! You mean melatonin!“

Me: “Yes! Wait, did I say, ‘melanin’? Oh, my God, oops.”

(Melatonin is a sleep-related hormone you can buy over the counter in Canada; melanin is the compound that darkens your skin when you tan. I may be a bit short on melanin, but I wasn’t expecting to buy it at the pharmacy!)

[florida80]

Exploring The Amazon Gets You Nowhere
AT THE CHECKOUT, CALIFORNIA, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 15, 2018
(It’s about twenty minutes before closing and there’s one customer left in the store. This particular customer always comes in about two hours before closing every night and wanders the store until closing. He only ever buys two or three small items. He comes up to my register.)

Me: *after ringing in his items* “Your total is [total]. How would you like to pay?”

Customer: “I have a gift card.”

(We accept gift cards so I see no problem, until the customer hands me the card.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but this is an Amazon gift card. You can only use it on Amazon.”

Customer: “No. I can use it here, too. You guys accept gift cards.”

Me: “We do accept certain gift cards, but you can’t use this one here.”

Customer: “Just scan it; you’ll see that it works!”

Me: “Sir, there is no barcode or magnetic strip on this card. There’s only a number on the back that you can type in on the Amazon website. You can’t use this here. Do you have another form of payment?”

Customer: *getting irritated* “I don’t know why you won’t just use it! I’ve used it here before!”

Me: “Sir, we don’t accept these. I need another form of payment.”

Customer: “Just use this card!”

(This goes back and forth for several minutes.)

Customer: “Where in here does it say I can’t use gift cards?!”

Me: “Right here on the back of the card.” *reads where the card says it can only be used on Amazon*

Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?!”

(He grabbed his items and slammed it back down on the shelf and stormed out. By then it was twenty minutes past closing.)

[florida80]

The Bathroom Is Not The Only Thing Getting A Deep Clean
EDITORS' CHOICE, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NORTH CAROLINA, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 15, 2018
(I work at a very busy pharmacy. One evening, our men’s restroom takes a turn for the worst and I have the privilege of setting it straight. I post a sign on the door that says, “CLOSED FOR CLEANING,” in red marker, and gather my supplies. A few minutes into the job, the door opens, and a man sticks his head in and asks:)

Man: “Is the bathroom closed?”

(It has been a really long day, with a lot of stupid questions, and I just can’t help myself.)

Me: *snapping a blue glove onto my hand* “Nope, we are giving out free prostate exams. I don’t have any lube, but I do have bleach. Step on in so we can get this over with.”

(He no longer needed the restroom.)

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #124979 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=124979)
PHARMACY, PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND, USA | UNFILTERED | NOVEMBER 11, 2018
(I take my nine-year-old daughter to the pharmacy because she has some pocket money to spend and wants to pick up a few treats. I enter my phone number to pull up my card number so my daughter would get any sale prices, but otherwise I am not involved in the transaction. I stand back as my daughter puts her items on the counter.)

Cashier: *looking up at me* “Would you like to donate a dollar to [charity] today?”

Me: *pointing back at my daughter* “She’s the one buying, not me.”

Cashier: *to daughter this time* “Would you like to donate a dollar to [charity] today?”

Daughter: “Sure, I’ll donate a dollar! I have the extra money, and it is for charity!”

(The cashier and her manager were shocked, but impressed, and quickly thanked my daughter!)

[florida80]

Renovate Or Stagnate
JERK, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 10, 2018
(I work as a cashier in a popular pharmacy. Recently our store has been doing some renovations. Nothing too big, just moving some shelves around and moving all the registers to one side of the store. One night I come into work and have this conversation with a customer.)

Customer: “You guys are going to be closed within six months.”

Me: *confused* “What do you mean, sir?”

Customer: “You moved everything around. How are we supposed to find anything?! You moved the toilet paper next to the freezers! Now what sense does that make?! You be closed within a year, mark my words.”

Me: *slightly shocked but still smiling and courteous* “Well, I hope not, sir.”

Customer: “You will. YOU WILL!”

Me: “Can I get your store card, sir?”

Customer: “…”

(I ring him up and things go smoothly until I hand him the receipt.)

Me: “Okay, here’s your receipt, sir.”

Customer: “I’ve been shopping here for seven f****** years, and you go and change things like this!”

Me: “Well, thank you for shopping with us today, sir.”

Customer: *glares and walks out*

[florida80]

Their Knowledge Is A Bit Patchy
AUSTRALIA, HEALTH & BODY, HOBART, PHARMACY, STUPID, TASMANIA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 7, 2018
(I am selling a customer nicotine patches to help them quit smoking.)

Customer: “So, can I still smoke when I’m wearing the patches? Someone said I can.”

Me: *head-desks internally*

[florida80]

Not Buying It? Yeah, I’m Not Buying That
BAD BEHAVIOR, BIZARRE, CHILDREN, CONNECTICUT, FUNNY KIDS, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 6, 2018
(I am a pharmacy technician. At the pharmacy where I work, we have those special shopping carts for small children, shaped like cars. I’m helping a family — a mom, teenage daughter, and a preschool girl, roughly four or five — with one such cart. They have a few items to ring out besides their prescriptions. I notice the little girl is holding something in her hands. Thinking it’s a toy her mom promised to buy her, I point it out to her sister.)

Me: *pointing at the girl* “Are you buying that, as well?”

Sister: “Buying… Oh, where did you get that?! May I see that? Thank you. We’re just going to put that over here.” *puts it on the counter, clearly not buying it*

(It was a bottle of shampoo, by the way. On closer inspection, the sister pulled out — I kid you not — over twenty more bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and other hair care products. The little girl must’ve grabbed everything when they drove through the beauty section. The sister was apologetic and everything, just glad I said something, as some of the stuff was really pricey, and everything in her car easily came out to over $100. The kid’s going to have really expensive tastes when she grows up!)

[florida80]

Knows How To Push Your Buttons By Not Knowing How To Push Buttons
CONNECTICUT, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 4, 2018
(We keep certain cold medicines in a locked case due to high theft and due to teenagers using them to get high. There’s a button right next to said case, clearly labeled, to press for assistance. Pressing the button sends out a message over the PA system for a front store associate to come unlock the case and bring the items to the till. It’s a Sunday morning when this happens.)

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Hi, your medicine case is locked; can you come unlock it for me?”

Me: “We don’t have the keys to unlock it. You just press the button and someone will come get it.”

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Where? I can’t find it!”

(I start to walk out of the pharmacy to show her, when she finds it and hits the button. About ten minutes later, another customer walks up.)

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Hey, can you guys unlock the case?”

Me: “No, but there’s a button you can press and someone with the keys can unlock it.”

(Not even five minutes later, the button sounds.)

Me: “It’s not even nine yet.”

[florida80]

Possibly Hoping For Telepathic Texts
BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS, PHARMACY, STUPID, TECHNOLOGY, USA | RIGHT | OCTOBER 29, 2018
(I work as a pharmacy technician at one a major pharmacy chains. Recently, store management has been pushing for the pharmacy employees to try and get customers to sign up for text message alerts when their prescription is ready for pick up.)

Me: *having gone through most of the transaction* “Do you get cell phone text alerts when your scripts are ready?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Would you like to?”

Customer: “Sure!”

Me: “All right, what cell number should we have in our system for us to text to?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t have a cell phone.”

Me: “Then… you can’t receive text messages.”

(Sadly, this exchange has happened at least five times!)

[florida80]

Is There A Prescription For Stupidity?
CONNECTICUT, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY RIGHT | OCTOBER 29, 2018
(I’m a pharmacy tech at a chain pharmacy. I’m working the drive-thru. A truck pulls up blaring loud metal music, and the driver is smoking. He does not turn down the music like most people do when at the window, and I’m having a hard time hearing him.)

Customer: “I’m trying to get one prescription. I need the [Brand Antibiotic], but NOT the–” *indecipherable due to the music*

Me: “I’m sorry, which one do you want?”

Customer: *a little louder* “The [Brand Antibiotic].”

(I take down his information into the computer. I have to re-ask several times because of the music, which he still hasn’t turned down. He’s also still smoking, and flicking ash out of the window, ON MY SIDE.)

Me: “There’s only one prescription here.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: *louder* There’s only one prescription.”

Customer: “Is it the [Brand Antibiotic]?”

Me: *still loud* “I will check with the pharmacist.”

(I grab the script, which is NOT an antibiotic. I’ve shut the window to keep the smoke from getting in; the music is loud enough to be heard on the other end of the pharmacy. The pharmacist confirms this is not an antibiotic, but is a specially requested one he’d been calling to transfer over from a different pharmacy.)

Me: “Sir, this is the only one we have.”

(I show him the prescription, so he can see what it is.)

Customer: “Ok, I’ll take it.”

(I finish up the transaction; he pays and drives away. About ten minutes later, he’s back in my lane, blaring the same loud music.)

Customer: “This isn’t the one I requested. I specifically told you NOT to give me this prescription. Where’s the one that the doctor transferred over?”

Me: “This is the only one that was called in.”

Customer: “I’m not taking this prescription anymore. Why was this called in? I want to speak to the manager.”

(The manager is busy. He’s been listening to the customer and is fed up with him. I use this time to double check his profile. There’s still no record of an antibiotic being called in before, during, or after the transaction.)

Me: “Sir, nothing else has been called in.”

Customer: “I don’t want this one. I told you I didn’t want this one.”

(I apologize at least twice, and return his medication, and he drives away, with my ears ringing.)

Manager: “So what happened with [Customer]?”

(I explained the ordeal, and he was obviously annoyed at the customer’s behavior. Less than a half hour later, we received a call from an associate of the customer. The pharmacist, who had had enough of the guy, took the call personally and explained what happened. Still not sure if the guy has gotten the antibiotic yet…)

[florida80]

Coupon Comeback
AT THE CHECKOUT, COUPON, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | OCTOBER 24, 2018
(I work at a very well-known pharmacy. It’s a shame how often I have this conversation.)

Me: *while handing them their receipt* “Okay, here’s your receipt. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “Oh, I have a coupon. Is it too late to use it?”

Me: “…”

[florida80]

The Reason Why Some Of Us Are Medicated:
CALL CENTER, FLORIDA, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 24, 2018
(I work as a customer service representative. Our company manages prescription plans for a government-run insurance primarily for seniors. We also function as a mail-order pharmacy. This call takes place while I’m still in training during my first week taking calls.)

Me: “This is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah. My husband needs to start taking [drug]. I want to know if his plan will cover it.”

Me: “I can certainly check that for you, ma’am. May I have some information?”

(After I verify her husband’s account information, I look up the medication.)

Me: “Okay. Your husband’s insurance will cover that for an approximate cost of [total].”

Customer: “Well, that seems like too much, but he needs it. Can you send it to him, please?”

Me: “Let me see.”

(I check, and we do not have a prescription for it, nor has another pharmacy filed a claim.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We will need your husband’s doctor to send us a new prescription before we can fill it.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, his doctor won’t write it. You have to stop drinking for six months, and my husband likes to have a beer or two every night, so the doctor won’t write one.”

Me: “I’m sorry. But without a prescription, we cannot send a medication.”

Customer: *getting angry* “But I told you that his doctor won’t write the prescription! Can’t you just send it if we pay full price?”

Me: “Again, ma’am, I’m sorry, but we must have a prescription before we can send the medication.”

Customer: “Well, why can’t you just send it?!”

Me: *rubbing my temples at this point* “Ma’am, that would be illegal.”

[florida80]

Impatient Patient, Party Of One
JERK, MINNESOTA, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | OCTOBER 18, 2018
(I am waiting in line for my prescription to be ready when I see this take place.)

Cashier: “Sir, we are trying to get a hold of the number on your file, but we are unable to reach them at the moment—”

Customer: “I have been waiting, and you’re letting all these other people go. Call the number again!”

Cashier: “Again, sir, I am sorry. We’ll try the number again and let you know.”

(The cashier goes back to the phone while the customer paces and keeps calling someone.)

Cashier: “Sorry, sir, we are still trying to get a hold of someone on that number, but we’re unable to get through.”

Customer: “Well, this is bulls***. I want your name and the manager’s name.”

(The cashier sends him off with the information and he walks away grumbling. The cashier calls me up and informs me that they are bit behind, but it will be filled shortly.)

Me: “That’s no problem; I can wait.”

Cashier: “You have time to wait?”

Me: “Yeah, I understand, and I am not going to be like that guy. He was just plain rude.”

(We laughed and she walked away with a smile.)

[florida80]

Don’t Go (Down) There
PATIENTS, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 14, 2018
(I stop by my local pharmacy to pick up my prescription of birth control pills and to talk to my buddy who is a pharmacist. I notice on the package it says, “To be taken orally.” I point it out to my friend.)

Me: *with a laugh* “Well, what idiot doesn’t know that?”

(My buddy’s eyes grow big and she says:)

Buddy: “Oh, no. You would be surprised! The reason that is now on there is we actually had a woman sue us because she claimed we didn’t properly instruct her on how the pills had to be taken orally, and she got pregnant.”

Me: “Well, then, how the heck did she use them? Where did she put them?”

(Then, it dawns on me where she must have put the pills.)

Me: “Ohhhh, never mind. I didn’t ask.”

[florida80]

The Pharmacy Version Of “I’m Looking For A Book That’s Red”
AUSTRALIA, HEALTH & BODY, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, MELBOURNE, PHARMACY | HEALTHY RIGHT | OCTOBER 10, 2018
Customer: “I need to get a repeat on my medication. I’ve ran out of the script so can you give me an owning? I’ve been here many times.”

Me: “Sure, that shouldn’t be a problem. Can you give me your name and the name of the medication you want owning?”

Customer: “My name is [Customer] and I don’t know what the medication is called.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Do you know what the medication is for?”

Customer; “No. Just look up the medication I’m on.”

Me: “You’re on a few different medications.”

Customer: “It’s a little white tablet.”

Me: “All but one of the five medications you are on are white. Box or bottle?”

Customer: “No idea. Just give me an owing.”

Me: “Sir, sorry, but without know what the medication is for or what it is called, I cannot give you an owing. But would you know what it is if I showed you the packages it comes in?.”

(I quickly grab a few bottles and boxes of medications that the customer is on, hoping it jogs his memory.)

Customer: “Nope. I don’t know which one it is. Just give me an owing. It’s a little white pill! You’re suppose to know what I want!”

Me: “Sir, as I said, a few of your medications you are on are small white pills., I’m sorry but I want to make sure I am giving you the right medication. Are you sure you don’t know what the medication is called or what it is used for?”

Customer: “You’re no help. You’re suppose to know what I want!” *leaves the store*

[florida80]

Prescribing Them Some Anti-Mean Pills
AWESOME, CONNECTICUT, JERK, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | OCTOBER 8, 2018
(I work at a pharmacy as a technician. We have the ability to request certain prescription refills for patients at the doctor’s discretion. Notes appear on a patient’s profile when we make requests, giving us the status of the request — waiting for response, denied, or approved. It usually takes two or three days to hear back from a doctor, so we generally make the requests within a week or two of when the patient will be out of medication to avoid issues with insurance companies filling too soon. It is about nine in the morning on a weekday when a middle-aged man walks up to the pickup counter:)

Me: “Hi. Welcome to [Pharmacy]. How can I help?”

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “I’m here to pick up a prescription.”

(I take his name and birthdate to pull up his profile. There are no prescriptions ready, but there is a note that we’ve sent a request to a doctor for a refill.)

Me: “It appears that you don’t have any prescriptions ready, sir, but we did send out a request to your doctor for a refill of [Prescription].”

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Yes, I know that. I was here yesterday and you guys told me the exact same thing. I have to drive a long way to get here. Why isn’t it ready yet?”

Me: “Well, it often takes a couple of days for a doctor to respond. Are you out of medication?”

(Occasionally, we will give patients a few extra pills if we’re having issues reaching the doctor, and they’re entirely out of medication. The customer gets angrier.)

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Why hasn’t it been filled yet? He always responds quickly! Haven’t you checked your messages yet? What kind of place is this?”

(At nine in the morning, not all doctor’s offices in our area are even OPEN, let alone writing prescriptions. We usually recommend calling in the afternoon to hear back from doctors.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the doctor still hasn’t sent us the refills yet. If you really need the medication, you can try calling the doctor’s office, as well.”

(This sometimes does help to speed up a doctor’s refills and authorizations, and we reach out to the patient to tell them if we don’t hear back in three days of a request to recommend getting in touch with the doctor. This also causes a note on a profile, which is not on this customer’s profile.)

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Why do I need to call the doctor when that’s clearly your job?”

(At this point I’m shocked speechless in anger. It takes me a few seconds to recover.)

Me: “You could also call us to make sure we have the prescription before coming.”

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “You people never pick up the phone! I always end up on hold when I call.”

(The customer walks away, muttering about how we never have the prescriptions ready and don’t know what we’re doing. The customer behind him, who was waiting for her prescriptions to be refilled, has heard the whole exchange, and is equally as shocked at this guy.)

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Wow… I don’t know how you can put up with someone like that; I couldn’t handle being yelled at by someone with an attitude.”

Me: “Unfortunately, that’s not the worst of it. Sometimes they’re even meaner.”

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “I’m sorry. I hope you don’t have any more like him today.”

(She was very polite throughout the rest of the exchange, and whatever upset I was feeling at the first customer was erased by her. She made my day. Whoever you are, thank you; I needed it.)

[florida80]

Wish You Could Take The Blue Pill And Forget
IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, IOWA, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 8, 2018
(I’m a Certified Pharmacy Technician at a midwest grocery and pharmacy chain. I’m not exaggerating when I say I get far too many of these calls EVERY DAY.)

Me: *answers phone with usual friendly attitude* “This is [My Name] at [Pharmacy]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “I need a refill on my prescriptions.”

Me: *pulls up profile after asking for name and birthdate* “Okay, which ones did you need refilled today?”

Customer: “Oh… I don’t know the names.” *describing various pills*

Me: *sighs and facepalms* “Right, let me get you on with the pharmacist.”

(Long story short, folks: you, as the customer, are personally responsible for knowing exactly what goes into your body and what prescriptions need to be refilled. WE DON’T HAVE ALL DRUGS MEMORIZED JUST BY HOW THEY APPEAR IN OUR HEADS!)

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=122275) 22275
PHARMACY, TEXAS, USA | UNFILTERED | OCTOBER 2, 2018
Note: I’m a customer in a long line at [national pharmacy chain], they are obviously very busy for this time of night. I have a basket of stuff to purchase and pick up a prescription. I was a waiter for 3 years.
Technician: Just want to make sure you know your Rx discount card has expired.
Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) (flipping out): What?! That’s ridiculous, how come no one told me? What do I need to do to renew?!
Technician: Just pay the $9 fee.
Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : Oh, OK. (walks away like nothing happened)
Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) (dramatically): I came from another pharmacy that closes at 10 and I need to fill this nooooow!
Technician (calmly): We close at 10 too, and will not have time to fill this tonight.
Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) (oblivious to the long line): But, Whyyyyy not?
Technician: Because we are very busy. The nearest 24-hour [pharmacy chain] is located at [address].
Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *Walks away in a huff*
Customer #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : Why isn’t my prescription ready?!
Technician (somehow still calm, despite this line of rude people): Because of *unintelligible*, but let me look… Ah, I’ve fixed it and your prescription will be ready in a few minutes.
Customer #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : Oh, OK. (Steps away, but lingers nearby creepily).
Me: I need to pick up [prescription], but I can check-out up front since you’re so busy.
Technician (loudly enough for lingering customer #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) to overhear): Oh, I’ll check you out. I don’t mind at all. We all talk about how you and your wife are always nice when you come in.
Me: If you’re sure… You catch more flies with honey you know!
Technician: Of course, no problem.
Pharmacist: Hey Mr. [my name], how’s the wife?
See d-bags of the world, being a jerk for no reason doesn’t get you anywhere. Being nice to service workers is a win-win for everybody!

[florida80]

In The Sun But Not Very Bright
CANADA, HEALTH & BODY, ONTARIO, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, STUPID | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 1, 2018
(I’m a pharmacist. I’m counselling a client on how to apply the rosacea cream his doctor has prescribed for him.)

Me: “…and remember, even if you use this regularly, the most important way to prevent rosacea flares is to stay out of the sun.”

Patient: “I’m in the sun all the time!”

Me: “May I suggest sunscreen?”

Patient: “Oh, no, I don’t wear sunscreen. I don’t want to put chemicals on my face.”

(I looked at the box of expensive prescription face chemicals and died a little inside.)

[florida80]

Constants Of Life: Grumbling Customers And Taxes
AT THE CHECKOUT, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NORTH CAROLINA, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 27, 2018
(I’m a customer in this story, getting into line to check out my items. I’m directly behind an older gentleman reading through a tabloid. This exchange happens when he gets to the checkout counter.)

Customer: “Can you tell me how much this costs? I can’t read it.”

Cashier: “Yes, it is $4.99. Would you like to purchase it?”

Customer: *thinks for a few seconds* “Yes.”

Cashier: *scans tabloid* “Sir, that will be $5.35, would you like a bag?”

Customer: *hands cashier a $5, grabs the magazine*

Cashier: “Sir, I need $0.35 more.”

Customer: “What, why?”

Cashier: “The total is $5.35.”

Customer: *points to magazine, shouts* “YOU SAID FOUR! FOUR! NOT FIVE!”

Cashier: “Yes, it’s $4.99, plus tax. The tax makes it $5.35.”

Customer: “NO.”

Cashier: “Yes, sir, you need to pay the tax.”

Customer: “WHY?! YOU SAID FOUR! FOUR!“

Cashier: “It’s $4.99, plus the tax, so the total is $5.35.”

(This goes on for a minute, so I grab 35 cents from my pocket and hand it to the cashier. The cashier puts it into the till.)

Cashier: “It’s been paid for; you can leave now.”

Customer: *still shouting* “NO, YOU SAID FOUR! I am giving you this $5 and no more!”

Cashier: “Sir, the woman behind you paid the rest of it; you can take the magazine.”

(This surprisingly still goes on for another minute, as the customer either didn’t notice me paying for it or doesn’t believe the cashier.)

Cashier: *gives up* “Sir, please take the magazine and leave.”

Customer: *walks away, still grumbling*

Me: “You’re welcome, sir.”

(The customer ignored me and walked toward the door, still grumbling. I approached the counter, and the cashier and I shared a look that said, “Did that really happen?” As I paid for my items and turned to leave, the customer actually came back toward the counter, and I’m not sure what happened after that. That poor cashier. I hope the rest of his day went well.)

[florida80]

Taxing Faxing, Part 24
EMPLOYEES, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PHARMACY, USA, VIRGINIA | WORKING | SEPTEMBER 19, 2018
It’s the end of the day, and I need to fax a prescription into the pharmacy for a patient. I call the main phone and get transferred to the pharmacy line. After five minutes of loud, obnoxious music, I hang up and call again, choosing the regular line. I thought any person working there would know the fax.

The guy who answers sounds like Ted from Bill & Ted, and when I tell him I couldn’t get through to the pharmacy and ask for the fax, he immediately transfers me… to the pharmacy.

Another long wait.

I try the main number again, and Ted picks up again. I repeat my story, telling him not to put me through to the pharmacy, as no one is picking up. He hands me off to the manager standing there. I explain the situation again: I need the fax, waiting five minutes on hold, could I just get the info?

She says she’s going to run to the pharmacy and get it. Could I hang on a second? Sure! She transfers me to the pharmacy again. Really?

I call a third time and a very young woman answers. I explain my problem and she rattles off the fax number in a second. Should have taken a minute. Wish I’d called her first.

[florida80]

Taxing Faxing, Part 23
CALL CENTER, JERK, NEW ZEALAND | RIGHT | MARCH 17, 2018
(Our company doesn’t have a fax machine anymore. Instead, any faxes that people send to our line come through as email attachments. Unfortunately, the sender doesn’t get anything saying that we have received their fax. Usually, this isn’t a problem, but sometimes things go wrong, and we just don’t get the fax. Generally, when this happens, they call us to check, and we tell them to either resend, or scan and email, which is a bit more reliable.)

Me: “[Company], [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I sent you a fax on the 28th, and it still hasn’t been actioned!”

Me: “Oh, gosh. I’m so sorry! I will double-check and see where that request is for you, right away!”

Caller: “You do that! I sent it at [time] on the 28th!”

Me: *looking through our inbox* “I’m really sorry, but we haven’t received anything from you since [date well before the 28th].”

Caller: “But I sent it!”

Me: “Okay, let me just check one more place; it might have been misfiled.” *checks, nothing there* “No, sorry. It doesn’t look like anything came through. I do apologise, but we just didn’t receive it.”

Caller: “But I sent it!”

Me: “Again, I am sorry, but since we didn’t receive it, we didn’t action it. If you resend it to us now, I can make sure we do it for you immediately.”

Caller: “But I sent it!”

Me: “I realise that, but unfortunately, our system never received it.”

Caller: “BUT I SENT IT!”

(I had no idea what else I could say, at least not without getting fired. I just kept on apologising, and lost another ten minutes of my life with her saying, “BUT I SENT IT!” in reply to everything I said. She did eventually get off the phone, and we ended up getting multiple copies of her next request, with the note, “I SENT IT!” attached as a cover letter.)

[florida80]

Taxing Faxing, Part 22
MASSACHUSETTS, REAL ESTATE, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | MARCH 9, 2018
(I work as an admin at a real estate office, and we often get documents faxed to us. On this particular day, though, I check the fax, and someone’s medical records have been faxed to us. It’s not anyone related to the company, and being trained in medical privacy laws from my previous job, I immediately call the facility the records came from and tell them what happened.)

Woman: “Oh! I’m so sorry. I don’t know how that happened.”

Me: “It’s fine; I just wanted to make sure you knew so you could get them to the right person.”

Woman: “Okay, well, do you think you can fax us back the records?”

Me: *confused* “I could. Do you guys not have them anymore?”

Woman: “No, we have them. But if you fax them back to us, that way you won’t have them anymore.”

Me: *trying really hard not to laugh* “That’s… That’s really not how that works.”

Woman: “It’s not? What?”

Me: “No. You know how you faxed over the documents but still have the originals? That’s what would happen if I faxed them back over; you’d just get a copy of what I sent you. How about I just shred them?”

(She agreed but still didn’t seem to understand what I was saying. Here’s hoping everyone’s medical records got to where they needed to be.)

[florida80]

Taxing Faxing, Part 21
BAD BEHAVIOR, CALL CENTER, FLORIDA, STUPID, TECHNOLOGY, USA | WORKING | NOVEMBER 9, 2017
(I work as a customer service representative answering for a government assistance program. In the last six months, I’ve dealt with some very interesting people.)

Me: “Thank you for calling. My name is [My Name]. May I have your social and name?”

Client: “Yeah, no need. I just need a fax number.”

Me: “Not a problem, sir. The fax number is [number].”

Client: “Well, I hope this works. And I need you to tell my caseworker I’ll need them to send my papers back to me when they’ve finished with them.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir?”

Client: “Are you stupid? I said I’ll need them back. It’s already going to cost me $5 to send them over, but I still need them for my records, and I’ll be d***ed if you’re going to keep my social security card!”

Me: “Sir, I do apologize, but you just informed me that you will be faxing these documents over. We only receive copies of what you’re sending, not the originals. The originals stay with you.”

Client: “Young lady, I don’t know how old you are, but I can tell you right now, I’ve been alive for 45 years, and I know how a d*** fax works! Send them a message now!” *click*

(Not only did I start laughing at his ignorance, I also felt bad for the next person who would need to deal with him. He didn’t provide me any information, therefore his account was never accessed, and his worker could not be notified of this. Sure enough, two days later he called in wanting to know why he had to stand there for so long waiting for his papers to be faxed back.)

1 Thumbs
424
Share on FacebookShare on Reddit
81

[florida80]

Taxing Faxing, Part 20
CANADA, COPY SHOP, ONTARIO, STUPID, TECHNOLOGY | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 8, 2017
Customer: “Can you fax something for me?”

Me: “It’s actually a self-serve fax, but I can show you how it works.”

Customer: “Okay.”

Me: “It’s really easy. You don’t have to press any special buttons first, or pick up the phone or anything. All you have to do first is dial the number. If it’s toll free or long distance, you need to dial the one first, just like a phone.”

Customer: “I’m confused.”

Me: “All you have to do is dial the number.”

Customer: “I’m still confused.”

Me: “Just dial the number.”

Customer: “Well, how do I do that when the number’s on the paper I’m faxing!?”

Me: “You don’t have to put the paper in first, you can do that after you’ve dialed.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Right now, all you need to do is dial the number.”

(I swear people are this ignorant on purpose.)

[florida80]

Mass Decapitations Means It’s Christmas!
BAD BEHAVIOR, OREGON, PHARMACY, PORTLAND, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 27, 2018
(I get a call from a lady who is very upset about some photos she sent to be printed.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. My name is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Caller: “You ruined my Christmas! All of the photos I just ordered today have the heads cut off! I can’t use these as Christmas cards! I want a refund or a reprint!”

Me: “No problem. Let me look up your order real quick.” *looks up order* “I’m sorry, miss, but it seems you ordered these through our app or online. Unfortunately, if you want these to be cropped the way you want them, I’m going to need you to come into the store; we would be happy to redo them for free.”

Caller: “This is ridiculous! I don’t have time for this! I can’t believe you guys can’t do your f****** job!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but if that’s not something you would like, I’m sure my manager would be okay with us giving you a refund.”

Caller: “I don’t have time to come back to that store! I can’t believe you won’t remake them! This is ridiculous!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’d be happy to help you remake them or give you a refund. But for either one you have to be at our store.”

(After another five minutes of her screaming at me, I get my manager to talk to her.)

Manager: “Thank you for holding. How may I help you?”

(The lady is screaming through the phone the same things she has told me already.)

Manager: “I’m so sorry that this happened. I would be willing to help you remake them or give you a full refund if you come back in.”

(The lady on the phone is now screaming so loud I can hear from next to my manager.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but unfortunately, unless you’re present in our store, I can’t give you a refund or remake your photos.”

(This continues for a good ten minutes.)

Manager: “Ma’am, what would you like us to do for you?”

(The lady is still screaming something about how we can’t do our jobs correctly.)

Manager: “Ma’am, what would you like us to do for you? I’ve given you your two choices; if you’re not satisfied with that then I can give you our 1-800 number.”

(The lady continues to scream at her for not being helpful.)

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but if you’re going to continue to scream at me then I’m going to have to hang up. I’ve given you your two choices in what we can do for you. If you’re not satisfied, then you can call our 1-800 number and leave a complaint.”

(The lady continues to scream at her.)

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but that’s all I can do. I’m going to hang up now.”

(The lady continues to scream.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m going to hang up now. We hope to see you in soon. Have a good day.”

(The manager hangs up phone.)

Me: “Wow… she was not happy.”

Manager: “She said she was driving on her way to our store, anyway. Guess it wasn’t too much of an issue for her to come over. I’m just glad I don’t have to talk to her anymore.”

[florida80]

Taxing Faxing, Part 2017
OFFICE, SILLY, TECHNOLOGY, UK | WORKING | NOVEMBER 20, 2017
(I take a phone call:)

Me: “Good morning, [Company].”

Client: “Good morning. I’m calling from [Client Company] and I’m trying to set up an invoice, but I need to enter a fax number for you.”

Me: “We don’t actually have a fax machine.”

Client: “Well, that’s just silly.”

Me: *internally* “It’s 20-f******-17.”

[florida80]

Behaving Poorly
CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, UK | LEGAL | NOVEMBER 28, 2018
(I am full of a chest cold and have struggled to the pharmacy to stock up on decongestants, so I can go back to bed for as long as possible. My spouse has texted to ask me to pick up extra, as he’s starting with the same cold. As I look through the shelf of cold and flu medication, I notice that everything contains either paracetamol — acetaminophen — or ibuprofen. There are laws limiting the sale of those medications in the UK, which have significantly reduced intentional and accidental overdoses.)

Me: *pointing at shelf* “Excuse me. How many packets am I allowed to buy?”

Assistant: “Only two, I’m afraid.”

Me: “Oh, bother. For two of us poorly, that’s only two days’ worth. Never mind. I’ll just have to come back again.”

Assistant: “Well, unless you have a consultation with the pharmacist…”

(Fortunately, the pharmacist agrees to authorise sale of two packets each for me and my spouse, and after thanking her, I pay.)

Assistant: “People are so rude about the limit, though. You should hear what they’re like when we have to say no.”

Me: “What? But they do know it’s actually the law and not just [Pharmacy] policy?”

Assistant: “Yes. One man shouted at me for several minutes because I wouldn’t sell him ten packets of paracetamol in one go. Then he said, ‘I’m just going to come back in fifteen minutes to buy more and you won’t remember me.’”

Me: “I’m not sure that’s how that works.”

Assistant: “Yeah, he was pretty memorable by that point.”

Me: “And instead he could just have gone to [Shop twenty metres away] and [Shop fifty metres away], which both sell that kind of medicine.”

Assistant: “Exactly!”

[florida80]

Medication To Cure Delusions Of Self-Importance
AUSTRALIA, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, JERK, MELBOURNE, PHARMACY, VICTORIA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 28, 2018
(The phone rings.)

Me: “Good morning, [Pharmacy]. This is [My Name] speaking.”

Customer: “I need to speak to the pharmacist.”

Me: “Sorry, the pharmacist is consulting at the moment. Maybe I can help you?”

Customer: “No. It’s super urgent. Only the pharmacist can answer this question.”

(Luckily, the pharmacist has just finished consulting.)

Me: “Oh! The pharmacist has just finished consulting. I will put you on.”

Pharmacist: “Hello? [Pharmacist] speaking.”

Customer: “What time do you guys close?”

[florida80]

Mass Decapitations Means It’s Christmas!
BAD BEHAVIOR, OREGON, PHARMACY, PORTLAND, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 27, 2018
(I get a call from a lady who is very upset about some photos she sent to be printed.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. My name is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Caller: “You ruined my Christmas! All of the photos I just ordered today have the heads cut off! I can’t use these as Christmas cards! I want a refund or a reprint!”

Me: “No problem. Let me look up your order real quick.” *looks up order* “I’m sorry, miss, but it seems you ordered these through our app or online. Unfortunately, if you want these to be cropped the way you want them, I’m going to need you to come into the store; we would be happy to redo them for free.”

Caller: “This is ridiculous! I don’t have time for this! I can’t believe you guys can’t do your f****** job!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but if that’s not something you would like, I’m sure my manager would be okay with us giving you a refund.”

Caller: “I don’t have time to come back to that store! I can’t believe you won’t remake them! This is ridiculous!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’d be happy to help you remake them or give you a refund. But for either one you have to be at our store.”

(After another five minutes of her screaming at me, I get my manager to talk to her.)

Manager: “Thank you for holding. How may I help you?”

(The lady is screaming through the phone the same things she has told me already.)

Manager: “I’m so sorry that this happened. I would be willing to help you remake them or give you a full refund if you come back in.”

(The lady on the phone is now screaming so loud I can hear from next to my manager.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but unfortunately, unless you’re present in our store, I can’t give you a refund or remake your photos.”

(This continues for a good ten minutes.)

Manager: “Ma’am, what would you like us to do for you?”

(The lady is still screaming something about how we can’t do our jobs correctly.)

Manager: “Ma’am, what would you like us to do for you? I’ve given you your two choices; if you’re not satisfied with that then I can give you our 1-800 number.”

(The lady continues to scream at her for not being helpful.)

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but if you’re going to continue to scream at me then I’m going to have to hang up. I’ve given you your two choices in what we can do for you. If you’re not satisfied, then you can call our 1-800 number and leave a complaint.”

(The lady continues to scream at her.)

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but that’s all I can do. I’m going to hang up now.”

(The lady continues to scream.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m going to hang up now. We hope to see you in soon. Have a good day.”

(The manager hangs up phone.)

Me: “Wow… she was not happy.”

Manager: “She said she was driving on her way to our store, anyway. Guess it wasn’t too much of an issue for her to come over. I’m just glad I don’t have to talk to her anymore.”

[florida80]

Proving He Is The Biggest P***k
HARASSMENT, MICHIGAN, PHARMACY, RUDE & RISQUE, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 26, 2018
I am a cashier at a pharmacy chain. A man comes in to the store and immediately asks where to find condoms. It is company policy to walk each customer to the product they are looking for if at all possible. Being a good employee, I walk the man to the “Family Planning” aisle, and show him where to find the condoms.

Rather than leaving our encounter to a minimum, he decides to ask me which condoms I like. Not only am I a woman, but I’m very uncomfortable discussing sex with anyone, especially strangers.

After explaining that I have no preference, and that it’s all up to him, he asks, “Which are the biggest ones? I need the biggest, because I am the biggest.” I am mortified.

I leave him in the aisle by himself, and he chooses a brand for purchase. No more than two minutes after ringing him out, he comes back in to the store, with the package opened, and one condom missing. He slaps the package on the counter and yells, “They’re too tight! I’m returning these, and I need your number… You single?”

I have my manager run the return as I go to the stock room to hide.

[florida80]

Will Never Look Back Again
HEALTH & BODY, MONTANA, PHARMACY, USA, WORDPLAY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 20, 2018
(I work on the retail side of a pharmacy, usually stocking shelves or helping customers. One day a young lady, maybe 19 or 20, approaches me, clearly embarrassed.)

Customer: *whispering* “Do you have, um, like, douches, but, um, for, like, the…” *I can now barely hear her* “…butt?”

Me: *stifling laughter* “Enema. The word you’re looking for is ‘enema,’ and yes, over this way.”

(I will forever call them “butt douches” from now on.)

[florida80]

This Story Has Some Darker Connotations
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, PHARMACY, VANCOUVER, WORDPLAY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 19, 2018
(I’m the customer in this story. I am Caucasian, of Irish and Scottish descent, and have extremely pale skin.)

Me: “Hi. Do you have melanin?”

Pharmacy Worker: “Sorry?”

Me: “Melanin, do you guys carry it?”

Pharmacy Worker: “No, I don’t think so.”

Me: “Drat, are you sure? My doctor told me I should get some before I went on my trip.”

Pharmacy Worker: “I don’t think it works like that.”

Me: “With respect, I’m going to listen to my doctor about how to treat my jet lag.”

Pharmacy Worker: “Jet lag? OH! You mean melatonin!“

Me: “Yes! Wait, did I say, ‘melanin’? Oh, my God, oops.”

(Melatonin is a sleep-related hormone you can buy over the counter in Canada; melanin is the compound that darkens your skin when you tan. I may be a bit short on melanin, but I wasn’t expecting to buy it at the pharmacy!)

[florida80]

Exploring The Amazon Gets You Nowhere
AT THE CHECKOUT, CALIFORNIA, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 15, 2018
(It’s about twenty minutes before closing and there’s one customer left in the store. This particular customer always comes in about two hours before closing every night and wanders the store until closing. He only ever buys two or three small items. He comes up to my register.)

Me: *after ringing in his items* “Your total is [total]. How would you like to pay?”

Customer: “I have a gift card.”

(We accept gift cards so I see no problem, until the customer hands me the card.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but this is an Amazon gift card. You can only use it on Amazon.”

Customer: “No. I can use it here, too. You guys accept gift cards.”

Me: “We do accept certain gift cards, but you can’t use this one here.”

Customer: “Just scan it; you’ll see that it works!”

Me: “Sir, there is no barcode or magnetic strip on this card. There’s only a number on the back that you can type in on the Amazon website. You can’t use this here. Do you have another form of payment?”

Customer: *getting irritated* “I don’t know why you won’t just use it! I’ve used it here before!”

Me: “Sir, we don’t accept these. I need another form of payment.”

Customer: “Just use this card!”

(This goes back and forth for several minutes.)

Customer: “Where in here does it say I can’t use gift cards?!”

Me: “Right here on the back of the card.” *reads where the card says it can only be used on Amazon*

Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?!”

(He grabbed his items and slammed it back down on the shelf and stormed out. By then it was twenty minutes past closing.)

[florida80]

The Bathroom Is Not The Only Thing Getting A Deep Clean
EDITORS' CHOICE, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NORTH CAROLINA, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 15, 2018
(I work at a very busy pharmacy. One evening, our men’s restroom takes a turn for the worst and I have the privilege of setting it straight. I post a sign on the door that says, “CLOSED FOR CLEANING,” in red marker, and gather my supplies. A few minutes into the job, the door opens, and a man sticks his head in and asks:)

Man: “Is the bathroom closed?”

(It has been a really long day, with a lot of stupid questions, and I just can’t help myself.)

Me: *snapping a blue glove onto my hand* “Nope, we are giving out free prostate exams. I don’t have any lube, but I do have bleach. Step on in so we can get this over with.”

(He no longer needed the restroom.)

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #124979 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=124979)
PHARMACY, PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND, USA | UNFILTERED | NOVEMBER 11, 2018
(I take my nine-year-old daughter to the pharmacy because she has some pocket money to spend and wants to pick up a few treats. I enter my phone number to pull up my card number so my daughter would get any sale prices, but otherwise I am not involved in the transaction. I stand back as my daughter puts her items on the counter.)

Cashier: *looking up at me* “Would you like to donate a dollar to [charity] today?”

Me: *pointing back at my daughter* “She’s the one buying, not me.”

Cashier: *to daughter this time* “Would you like to donate a dollar to [charity] today?”

Daughter: “Sure, I’ll donate a dollar! I have the extra money, and it is for charity!”

(The cashier and her manager were shocked, but impressed, and quickly thanked my daughter!)

[florida80]

Renovate Or Stagnate
JERK, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 10, 2018
(I work as a cashier in a popular pharmacy. Recently our store has been doing some renovations. Nothing too big, just moving some shelves around and moving all the registers to one side of the store. One night I come into work and have this conversation with a customer.)

Customer: “You guys are going to be closed within six months.”

Me: *confused* “What do you mean, sir?”

Customer: “You moved everything around. How are we supposed to find anything?! You moved the toilet paper next to the freezers! Now what sense does that make?! You be closed within a year, mark my words.”

Me: *slightly shocked but still smiling and courteous* “Well, I hope not, sir.”

Customer: “You will. YOU WILL!”

Me: “Can I get your store card, sir?”

Customer: “…”

(I ring him up and things go smoothly until I hand him the receipt.)

Me: “Okay, here’s your receipt, sir.”

Customer: “I’ve been shopping here for seven f****** years, and you go and change things like this!”

Me: “Well, thank you for shopping with us today, sir.”

Customer: *glares and walks out*

[florida80]

Their Knowledge Is A Bit Patchy
AUSTRALIA, HEALTH & BODY, HOBART, PHARMACY, STUPID, TASMANIA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 7, 2018
(I am selling a customer nicotine patches to help them quit smoking.)

Customer: “So, can I still smoke when I’m wearing the patches? Someone said I can.”

Me: *head-desks internally*

[florida80]

Not Buying It? Yeah, I’m Not Buying That
BAD BEHAVIOR, BIZARRE, CHILDREN, CONNECTICUT, FUNNY KIDS, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 6, 2018
(I am a pharmacy technician. At the pharmacy where I work, we have those special shopping carts for small children, shaped like cars. I’m helping a family — a mom, teenage daughter, and a preschool girl, roughly four or five — with one such cart. They have a few items to ring out besides their prescriptions. I notice the little girl is holding something in her hands. Thinking it’s a toy her mom promised to buy her, I point it out to her sister.)

Me: *pointing at the girl* “Are you buying that, as well?”

Sister: “Buying… Oh, where did you get that?! May I see that? Thank you. We’re just going to put that over here.” *puts it on the counter, clearly not buying it*

(It was a bottle of shampoo, by the way. On closer inspection, the sister pulled out — I kid you not — over twenty more bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and other hair care products. The little girl must’ve grabbed everything when they drove through the beauty section. The sister was apologetic and everything, just glad I said something, as some of the stuff was really pricey, and everything in her car easily came out to over $100. The kid’s going to have really expensive tastes when she grows up!)

[florida80]

Knows How To Push Your Buttons By Not Knowing How To Push Buttons
CONNECTICUT, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 4, 2018
(We keep certain cold medicines in a locked case due to high theft and due to teenagers using them to get high. There’s a button right next to said case, clearly labeled, to press for assistance. Pressing the button sends out a message over the PA system for a front store associate to come unlock the case and bring the items to the till. It’s a Sunday morning when this happens.)

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Hi, your medicine case is locked; can you come unlock it for me?”

Me: “We don’t have the keys to unlock it. You just press the button and someone will come get it.”

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Where? I can’t find it!”

(I start to walk out of the pharmacy to show her, when she finds it and hits the button. About ten minutes later, another customer walks up.)

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Hey, can you guys unlock the case?”

Me: “No, but there’s a button you can press and someone with the keys can unlock it.”

(Not even five minutes later, the button sounds.)

Me: “It’s not even nine yet.”

[florida80]

Possibly Hoping For Telepathic Texts
BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS, PHARMACY, STUPID, TECHNOLOGY, USA | RIGHT | OCTOBER 29, 2018
(I work as a pharmacy technician at one a major pharmacy chains. Recently, store management has been pushing for the pharmacy employees to try and get customers to sign up for text message alerts when their prescription is ready for pick up.)

Me: *having gone through most of the transaction* “Do you get cell phone text alerts when your scripts are ready?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Would you like to?”

Customer: “Sure!”

Me: “All right, what cell number should we have in our system for us to text to?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t have a cell phone.”

Me: “Then… you can’t receive text messages.”

(Sadly, this exchange has happened at least five times!)

[florida80]

Is There A Prescription For Stupidity?
CONNECTICUT, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY RIGHT | OCTOBER 29, 2018
(I’m a pharmacy tech at a chain pharmacy. I’m working the drive-thru. A truck pulls up blaring loud metal music, and the driver is smoking. He does not turn down the music like most people do when at the window, and I’m having a hard time hearing him.)

Customer: “I’m trying to get one prescription. I need the [Brand Antibiotic], but NOT the–” *indecipherable due to the music*

Me: “I’m sorry, which one do you want?”

Customer: *a little louder* “The [Brand Antibiotic].”

(I take down his information into the computer. I have to re-ask several times because of the music, which he still hasn’t turned down. He’s also still smoking, and flicking ash out of the window, ON MY SIDE.)

Me: “There’s only one prescription here.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: *louder* There’s only one prescription.”

Customer: “Is it the [Brand Antibiotic]?”

Me: *still loud* “I will check with the pharmacist.”

(I grab the script, which is NOT an antibiotic. I’ve shut the window to keep the smoke from getting in; the music is loud enough to be heard on the other end of the pharmacy. The pharmacist confirms this is not an antibiotic, but is a specially requested one he’d been calling to transfer over from a different pharmacy.)

Me: “Sir, this is the only one we have.”

(I show him the prescription, so he can see what it is.)

Customer: “Ok, I’ll take it.”

(I finish up the transaction; he pays and drives away. About ten minutes later, he’s back in my lane, blaring the same loud music.)

Customer: “This isn’t the one I requested. I specifically told you NOT to give me this prescription. Where’s the one that the doctor transferred over?”

Me: “This is the only one that was called in.”

Customer: “I’m not taking this prescription anymore. Why was this called in? I want to speak to the manager.”

(The manager is busy. He’s been listening to the customer and is fed up with him. I use this time to double check his profile. There’s still no record of an antibiotic being called in before, during, or after the transaction.)

Me: “Sir, nothing else has been called in.”

Customer: “I don’t want this one. I told you I didn’t want this one.”

(I apologize at least twice, and return his medication, and he drives away, with my ears ringing.)

Manager: “So what happened with [Customer]?”

(I explained the ordeal, and he was obviously annoyed at the customer’s behavior. Less than a half hour later, we received a call from an associate of the customer. The pharmacist, who had had enough of the guy, took the call personally and explained what happened. Still not sure if the guy has gotten the antibiotic yet…)

[florida80]

Coupon Comeback
AT THE CHECKOUT, COUPON, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | OCTOBER 24, 2018
(I work at a very well-known pharmacy. It’s a shame how often I have this conversation.)

Me: *while handing them their receipt* “Okay, here’s your receipt. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “Oh, I have a coupon. Is it too late to use it?”

Me: “…”

[florida80]

The Reason Why Some Of Us Are Medicated:
CALL CENTER, FLORIDA, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 24, 2018
(I work as a customer service representative. Our company manages prescription plans for a government-run insurance primarily for seniors. We also function as a mail-order pharmacy. This call takes place while I’m still in training during my first week taking calls.)

Me: “This is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah. My husband needs to start taking [drug]. I want to know if his plan will cover it.”

Me: “I can certainly check that for you, ma’am. May I have some information?”

(After I verify her husband’s account information, I look up the medication.)

Me: “Okay. Your husband’s insurance will cover that for an approximate cost of [total].”

Customer: “Well, that seems like too much, but he needs it. Can you send it to him, please?”

Me: “Let me see.”

(I check, and we do not have a prescription for it, nor has another pharmacy filed a claim.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We will need your husband’s doctor to send us a new prescription before we can fill it.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, his doctor won’t write it. You have to stop drinking for six months, and my husband likes to have a beer or two every night, so the doctor won’t write one.”

Me: “I’m sorry. But without a prescription, we cannot send a medication.”

Customer: *getting angry* “But I told you that his doctor won’t write the prescription! Can’t you just send it if we pay full price?”

Me: “Again, ma’am, I’m sorry, but we must have a prescription before we can send the medication.”

Customer: “Well, why can’t you just send it?!”

Me: *rubbing my temples at this point* “Ma’am, that would be illegal.”

[florida80]

Impatient Patient, Party Of One
JERK, MINNESOTA, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | OCTOBER 18, 2018
(I am waiting in line for my prescription to be ready when I see this take place.)

Cashier: “Sir, we are trying to get a hold of the number on your file, but we are unable to reach them at the moment—”

Customer: “I have been waiting, and you’re letting all these other people go. Call the number again!”

Cashier: “Again, sir, I am sorry. We’ll try the number again and let you know.”

(The cashier goes back to the phone while the customer paces and keeps calling someone.)

Cashier: “Sorry, sir, we are still trying to get a hold of someone on that number, but we’re unable to get through.”

Customer: “Well, this is bulls***. I want your name and the manager’s name.”

(The cashier sends him off with the information and he walks away grumbling. The cashier calls me up and informs me that they are bit behind, but it will be filled shortly.)

Me: “That’s no problem; I can wait.”

Cashier: “You have time to wait?”

Me: “Yeah, I understand, and I am not going to be like that guy. He was just plain rude.”

(We laughed and she walked away with a smile.)

[florida80]

Don’t Go (Down) There
PATIENTS, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 14, 2018
(I stop by my local pharmacy to pick up my prescription of birth control pills and to talk to my buddy who is a pharmacist. I notice on the package it says, “To be taken orally.” I point it out to my friend.)

Me: *with a laugh* “Well, what idiot doesn’t know that?”

(My buddy’s eyes grow big and she says:)

Buddy: “Oh, no. You would be surprised! The reason that is now on there is we actually had a woman sue us because she claimed we didn’t properly instruct her on how the pills had to be taken orally, and she got pregnant.”

Me: “Well, then, how the heck did she use them? Where did she put them?”

(Then, it dawns on me where she must have put the pills.)

Me: “Ohhhh, never mind. I didn’t ask.”

[florida80]

The Pharmacy Version Of “I’m Looking For A Book That’s Red”
AUSTRALIA, HEALTH & BODY, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, MELBOURNE, PHARMACY | HEALTHY RIGHT | OCTOBER 10, 2018
Customer: “I need to get a repeat on my medication. I’ve ran out of the script so can you give me an owning? I’ve been here many times.”

Me: “Sure, that shouldn’t be a problem. Can you give me your name and the name of the medication you want owning?”

Customer: “My name is [Customer] and I don’t know what the medication is called.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Do you know what the medication is for?”

Customer; “No. Just look up the medication I’m on.”

Me: “You’re on a few different medications.”

Customer: “It’s a little white tablet.”

Me: “All but one of the five medications you are on are white. Box or bottle?”

Customer: “No idea. Just give me an owing.”

Me: “Sir, sorry, but without know what the medication is for or what it is called, I cannot give you an owing. But would you know what it is if I showed you the packages it comes in?.”

(I quickly grab a few bottles and boxes of medications that the customer is on, hoping it jogs his memory.)

Customer: “Nope. I don’t know which one it is. Just give me an owing. It’s a little white pill! You’re suppose to know what I want!”

Me: “Sir, as I said, a few of your medications you are on are small white pills., I’m sorry but I want to make sure I am giving you the right medication. Are you sure you don’t know what the medication is called or what it is used for?”

Customer: “You’re no help. You’re suppose to know what I want!” *leaves the store*

[florida80]

Prescribing Them Some Anti-Mean Pills
AWESOME, CONNECTICUT, JERK, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | OCTOBER 8, 2018
(I work at a pharmacy as a technician. We have the ability to request certain prescription refills for patients at the doctor’s discretion. Notes appear on a patient’s profile when we make requests, giving us the status of the request — waiting for response, denied, or approved. It usually takes two or three days to hear back from a doctor, so we generally make the requests within a week or two of when the patient will be out of medication to avoid issues with insurance companies filling too soon. It is about nine in the morning on a weekday when a middle-aged man walks up to the pickup counter:)

Me: “Hi. Welcome to [Pharmacy]. How can I help?”

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “I’m here to pick up a prescription.”

(I take his name and birthdate to pull up his profile. There are no prescriptions ready, but there is a note that we’ve sent a request to a doctor for a refill.)

Me: “It appears that you don’t have any prescriptions ready, sir, but we did send out a request to your doctor for a refill of [Prescription].”

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Yes, I know that. I was here yesterday and you guys told me the exact same thing. I have to drive a long way to get here. Why isn’t it ready yet?”

Me: “Well, it often takes a couple of days for a doctor to respond. Are you out of medication?”

(Occasionally, we will give patients a few extra pills if we’re having issues reaching the doctor, and they’re entirely out of medication. The customer gets angrier.)

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Why hasn’t it been filled yet? He always responds quickly! Haven’t you checked your messages yet? What kind of place is this?”

(At nine in the morning, not all doctor’s offices in our area are even OPEN, let alone writing prescriptions. We usually recommend calling in the afternoon to hear back from doctors.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the doctor still hasn’t sent us the refills yet. If you really need the medication, you can try calling the doctor’s office, as well.”

(This sometimes does help to speed up a doctor’s refills and authorizations, and we reach out to the patient to tell them if we don’t hear back in three days of a request to recommend getting in touch with the doctor. This also causes a note on a profile, which is not on this customer’s profile.)

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Why do I need to call the doctor when that’s clearly your job?”

(At this point I’m shocked speechless in anger. It takes me a few seconds to recover.)

Me: “You could also call us to make sure we have the prescription before coming.”

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “You people never pick up the phone! I always end up on hold when I call.”

(The customer walks away, muttering about how we never have the prescriptions ready and don’t know what we’re doing. The customer behind him, who was waiting for her prescriptions to be refilled, has heard the whole exchange, and is equally as shocked at this guy.)

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Wow… I don’t know how you can put up with someone like that; I couldn’t handle being yelled at by someone with an attitude.”

Me: “Unfortunately, that’s not the worst of it. Sometimes they’re even meaner.”

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “I’m sorry. I hope you don’t have any more like him today.”

(She was very polite throughout the rest of the exchange, and whatever upset I was feeling at the first customer was erased by her. She made my day. Whoever you are, thank you; I needed it.)

[florida80]

Wish You Could Take The Blue Pill And Forget
IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, IOWA, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 8, 2018
(I’m a Certified Pharmacy Technician at a midwest grocery and pharmacy chain. I’m not exaggerating when I say I get far too many of these calls EVERY DAY.)

Me: *answers phone with usual friendly attitude* “This is [My Name] at [Pharmacy]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “I need a refill on my prescriptions.”

Me: *pulls up profile after asking for name and birthdate* “Okay, which ones did you need refilled today?”

Customer: “Oh… I don’t know the names.” *describing various pills*

Me: *sighs and facepalms* “Right, let me get you on with the pharmacist.”

(Long story short, folks: you, as the customer, are personally responsible for knowing exactly what goes into your body and what prescriptions need to be refilled. WE DON’T HAVE ALL DRUGS MEMORIZED JUST BY HOW THEY APPEAR IN OUR HEADS!)

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=122275) 22275
PHARMACY, TEXAS, USA | UNFILTERED | OCTOBER 2, 2018
Note: I’m a customer in a long line at [national pharmacy chain], they are obviously very busy for this time of night. I have a basket of stuff to purchase and pick up a prescription. I was a waiter for 3 years.
Technician: Just want to make sure you know your Rx discount card has expired.
Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) (flipping out): What?! That’s ridiculous, how come no one told me? What do I need to do to renew?!
Technician: Just pay the $9 fee.
Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : Oh, OK. (walks away like nothing happened)
Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) (dramatically): I came from another pharmacy that closes at 10 and I need to fill this nooooow!
Technician (calmly): We close at 10 too, and will not have time to fill this tonight.
Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) (oblivious to the long line): But, Whyyyyy not?
Technician: Because we are very busy. The nearest 24-hour [pharmacy chain] is located at [address].
Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *Walks away in a huff*
Customer #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : Why isn’t my prescription ready?!
Technician (somehow still calm, despite this line of rude people): Because of *unintelligible*, but let me look… Ah, I’ve fixed it and your prescription will be ready in a few minutes.
Customer #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : Oh, OK. (Steps away, but lingers nearby creepily).
Me: I need to pick up [prescription], but I can check-out up front since you’re so busy.
Technician (loudly enough for lingering customer #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) to overhear): Oh, I’ll check you out. I don’t mind at all. We all talk about how you and your wife are always nice when you come in.
Me: If you’re sure… You catch more flies with honey you know!
Technician: Of course, no problem.
Pharmacist: Hey Mr. [my name], how’s the wife?
See d-bags of the world, being a jerk for no reason doesn’t get you anywhere. Being nice to service workers is a win-win for everybody!

[florida80]

In The Sun But Not Very Bright
CANADA, HEALTH & BODY, ONTARIO, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, STUPID | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 1, 2018
(I’m a pharmacist. I’m counselling a client on how to apply the rosacea cream his doctor has prescribed for him.)

Me: “…and remember, even if you use this regularly, the most important way to prevent rosacea flares is to stay out of the sun.”

Patient: “I’m in the sun all the time!”

Me: “May I suggest sunscreen?”

Patient: “Oh, no, I don’t wear sunscreen. I don’t want to put chemicals on my face.”

(I looked at the box of expensive prescription face chemicals and died a little inside.)

[florida80]

Constants Of Life: Grumbling Customers And Taxes
AT THE CHECKOUT, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NORTH CAROLINA, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 27, 2018
(I’m a customer in this story, getting into line to check out my items. I’m directly behind an older gentleman reading through a tabloid. This exchange happens when he gets to the checkout counter.)

Customer: “Can you tell me how much this costs? I can’t read it.”

Cashier: “Yes, it is $4.99. Would you like to purchase it?”

Customer: *thinks for a few seconds* “Yes.”

Cashier: *scans tabloid* “Sir, that will be $5.35, would you like a bag?”

Customer: *hands cashier a $5, grabs the magazine*

Cashier: “Sir, I need $0.35 more.”

Customer: “What, why?”

Cashier: “The total is $5.35.”

Customer: *points to magazine, shouts* “YOU SAID FOUR! FOUR! NOT FIVE!”

Cashier: “Yes, it’s $4.99, plus tax. The tax makes it $5.35.”

Customer: “NO.”

Cashier: “Yes, sir, you need to pay the tax.”

Customer: “WHY?! YOU SAID FOUR! FOUR!“

Cashier: “It’s $4.99, plus the tax, so the total is $5.35.”

(This goes on for a minute, so I grab 35 cents from my pocket and hand it to the cashier. The cashier puts it into the till.)

Cashier: “It’s been paid for; you can leave now.”

Customer: *still shouting* “NO, YOU SAID FOUR! I am giving you this $5 and no more!”

Cashier: “Sir, the woman behind you paid the rest of it; you can take the magazine.”

(This surprisingly still goes on for another minute, as the customer either didn’t notice me paying for it or doesn’t believe the cashier.)

Cashier: *gives up* “Sir, please take the magazine and leave.”

Customer: *walks away, still grumbling*

Me: “You’re welcome, sir.”

(The customer ignored me and walked toward the door, still grumbling. I approached the counter, and the cashier and I shared a look that said, “Did that really happen?” As I paid for my items and turned to leave, the customer actually came back toward the counter, and I’m not sure what happened after that. That poor cashier. I hope the rest of his day went well.)

[florida80]

Taxing Faxing, Part 24
EMPLOYEES, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PHARMACY, USA, VIRGINIA | WORKING | SEPTEMBER 19, 2018
It’s the end of the day, and I need to fax a prescription into the pharmacy for a patient. I call the main phone and get transferred to the pharmacy line. After five minutes of loud, obnoxious music, I hang up and call again, choosing the regular line. I thought any person working there would know the fax.

The guy who answers sounds like Ted from Bill & Ted, and when I tell him I couldn’t get through to the pharmacy and ask for the fax, he immediately transfers me… to the pharmacy.

Another long wait.

I try the main number again, and Ted picks up again. I repeat my story, telling him not to put me through to the pharmacy, as no one is picking up. He hands me off to the manager standing there. I explain the situation again: I need the fax, waiting five minutes on hold, could I just get the info?

She says she’s going to run to the pharmacy and get it. Could I hang on a second? Sure! She transfers me to the pharmacy again. Really?

I call a third time and a very young woman answers. I explain my problem and she rattles off the fax number in a second. Should have taken a minute. Wish I’d called her first.

[florida80]

Taxing Faxing, Part 23
CALL CENTER, JERK, NEW ZEALAND | RIGHT | MARCH 17, 2018
(Our company doesn’t have a fax machine anymore. Instead, any faxes that people send to our line come through as email attachments. Unfortunately, the sender doesn’t get anything saying that we have received their fax. Usually, this isn’t a problem, but sometimes things go wrong, and we just don’t get the fax. Generally, when this happens, they call us to check, and we tell them to either resend, or scan and email, which is a bit more reliable.)

Me: “[Company], [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I sent you a fax on the 28th, and it still hasn’t been actioned!”

Me: “Oh, gosh. I’m so sorry! I will double-check and see where that request is for you, right away!”

Caller: “You do that! I sent it at [time] on the 28th!”

Me: *looking through our inbox* “I’m really sorry, but we haven’t received anything from you since [date well before the 28th].”

Caller: “But I sent it!”

Me: “Okay, let me just check one more place; it might have been misfiled.” *checks, nothing there* “No, sorry. It doesn’t look like anything came through. I do apologise, but we just didn’t receive it.”

Caller: “But I sent it!”

Me: “Again, I am sorry, but since we didn’t receive it, we didn’t action it. If you resend it to us now, I can make sure we do it for you immediately.”

Caller: “But I sent it!”

Me: “I realise that, but unfortunately, our system never received it.”

Caller: “BUT I SENT IT!”

(I had no idea what else I could say, at least not without getting fired. I just kept on apologising, and lost another ten minutes of my life with her saying, “BUT I SENT IT!” in reply to everything I said. She did eventually get off the phone, and we ended up getting multiple copies of her next request, with the note, “I SENT IT!” attached as a cover letter.)

[florida80]

Taxing Faxing, Part 22
MASSACHUSETTS, REAL ESTATE, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | MARCH 9, 2018
(I work as an admin at a real estate office, and we often get documents faxed to us. On this particular day, though, I check the fax, and someone’s medical records have been faxed to us. It’s not anyone related to the company, and being trained in medical privacy laws from my previous job, I immediately call the facility the records came from and tell them what happened.)

Woman: “Oh! I’m so sorry. I don’t know how that happened.”

Me: “It’s fine; I just wanted to make sure you knew so you could get them to the right person.”

Woman: “Okay, well, do you think you can fax us back the records?”

Me: *confused* “I could. Do you guys not have them anymore?”

Woman: “No, we have them. But if you fax them back to us, that way you won’t have them anymore.”

Me: *trying really hard not to laugh* “That’s… That’s really not how that works.”

Woman: “It’s not? What?”

Me: “No. You know how you faxed over the documents but still have the originals? That’s what would happen if I faxed them back over; you’d just get a copy of what I sent you. How about I just shred them?”

(She agreed but still didn’t seem to understand what I was saying. Here’s hoping everyone’s medical records got to where they needed to be.)

[florida80]

Taxing Faxing, Part 21
BAD BEHAVIOR, CALL CENTER, FLORIDA, STUPID, TECHNOLOGY, USA | WORKING | NOVEMBER 9, 2017
(I work as a customer service representative answering for a government assistance program. In the last six months, I’ve dealt with some very interesting people.)

Me: “Thank you for calling. My name is [My Name]. May I have your social and name?”

Client: “Yeah, no need. I just need a fax number.”

Me: “Not a problem, sir. The fax number is [number].”

Client: “Well, I hope this works. And I need you to tell my caseworker I’ll need them to send my papers back to me when they’ve finished with them.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir?”

Client: “Are you stupid? I said I’ll need them back. It’s already going to cost me $5 to send them over, but I still need them for my records, and I’ll be d***ed if you’re going to keep my social security card!”

Me: “Sir, I do apologize, but you just informed me that you will be faxing these documents over. We only receive copies of what you’re sending, not the originals. The originals stay with you.”

Client: “Young lady, I don’t know how old you are, but I can tell you right now, I’ve been alive for 45 years, and I know how a d*** fax works! Send them a message now!” *click*

(Not only did I start laughing at his ignorance, I also felt bad for the next person who would need to deal with him. He didn’t provide me any information, therefore his account was never accessed, and his worker could not be notified of this. Sure enough, two days later he called in wanting to know why he had to stand there for so long waiting for his papers to be faxed back.)

[florida80]

You Better Beer-lieve It!
ALABAMA, AWESOME, CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, PHARMACY, USA | LEGAL | SEPTEMBER 14, 2018
(I am 17, and a cashier at a big pharmacy store. I work at the front registers, while the pharmacy and pharmacy registers are in the back of the store, out of view. If people are purchasing items in the store and also picking up a prescription, then the pharmacy is allowed to ring up their purchases, as well, with the exception of alcohol. A man walks from the back of the store carrying two large cases of beer. I start to move away from the door and head to a register to ring him up; however, before I even make it two steps, I stop, as the guy is still walking straight towards me. Without thinking, I put out my hand and stop him; it seems to surprise him that a small girl would physically stop him, especially as he is more than twice my size. Instead of faltering or backing down, I stand firm.)

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but I have to get you to go over to the register to check you out before I can allow you to leave with that.”

Man: “Oh, don’t worry, little lady; I already paid for this in the pharmacy.”

Me: “Sir, if that is the case, then I do apologize, but I will need to look at your receipt just to verify. I hope you understand.”

Man: “Well, I don’t have my receipt; I told them they could keep it.”

(I’ve already broken one rule by physically touching the man, but I’m not going to break another by outright accusing him of theft.)

Me: “In that case, please let me walk back there with you so that we can clear this up with them. You see, it’s against store policy to ever ring up alcohol back at the pharmacy, so I really need to know who rang you up so that they can be dealt with appropriately. If you are still unwilling to do this, then I am going to have to ask you to either let me ring you up for a second time, or you can leave the beer here, but without actual proof of purchase I cannot allow you to leave the store with the beer.”

(The man just kind of looks at me for about twenty seconds and then glances over to my supervisor, who is still standing next to the door. However, she is in her 60s, and I’m sure this man could probably overpower both of us. Luckily, things end rather well. The man looks back at me and sits both cases of beer on the floor.)

Man: “All right, here you go. I’ll go ahead and leave now.”

(With that, the man actually just walks out of the store. After he is gone, my supervisor turns to me with the most shocked expression on her face, and I can feel my heart about to explode out of my chest.)

Me: “Oh, no. Did I actually just physically stop a man and then keep him from shoplifting?! I can’t believe that just happened.”

Supervisor: “Yeah, I’ve never seen something like that before, but please, next time, just let him walk out of the store. It’s not worth your life trying to stop someone from getting a couple of cases of beer. You never know if someone is crazy, or drunk, or just doesn’t care.”

[florida80]

Doesn’t Have A (Catho)Lick Of Charm
NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY, RELIGION, USA | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 10, 2018
(I work at the register at the pharmacy portion of a pharmacy chain.)

Customer: “So, what do you want to be when you grow up? A pharmacist?”

Me: *taken aback that my working at all isn’t good enough for her* “I’m not sure…”

Customer: “How old are you?”

Me: “23.”

Customer: *shakes her head* “The clock is ticking… Are you Catholic?”

Me: *eyes wide* “No. I’m not.”

Customer: “Well, if you were I would say for you to say ‘Holy Spirit, inspire me!’ And then you’d have your answer!” *takes prescription and leaves*

Me: *in utter state of disbelief*

Next Customer: “What the h*** was her problem?!”

[florida80]

Never Sausage An Unhealthy Thing Before
AUSTRALIA, COWORKERS, HEALTH & BODY, JERK, PHARMACY, TASMANIA | FRIENDLY | SEPTEMBER 4, 2018
One of my colleagues is a naturopath and health nut. She’s noticed that I have a certain fondness for hot chips/fries and often buy them for lunch, and she’s taken to telling me how unhealthy, fatty, salty, etc. they are, in a vain attempt to improve my diet.

One day, just for a change, I decide to buy a sausage roll for lunch. My colleague notices this and proceeds to lecture me on how much worse this is for me, because of how many carbs are in the pastry and how much fat is in the meat.

The next day I buy chips again. I show them to my colleague and tell her that I went with the healthier option.

The horrified and appalled look on her face was priceless, and was well worth the earful she gave me!

[florida80]

The Last Time The Medicine Was A Steal
GEORGIA, JERK, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 2, 2018
(I work in a retail pharmacy. One day a patient brings in a prescription for a blood pressure monitor. My coworker is taking prescriptions.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t fill this. We sell them over the counter but we can’t bill them to insurance.” *tries to hand it back*

Patient: *upset* “Yes, you can fill them. I had one filled here a few years ago.”

Coworker: “We have never been able to fill blood pressure monitors; our company isn’t authorized to dispense medical equipment.”

Patient: *angry* “Then it must have been before you started here, but I had one filled at this store!”

Coworker: *getting frustrated* “I have worked at this store since it opened eleven years ago, and have been in the pharmacy for seven years, and we have never dispensed blood pressure monitors.”

Patient: “Yes, you have! The first time I brought a prescription in, the pharmacist showed me where they were, handed me one, and I walked out with it!”

Coworker: *shocked* “If you walked out with it, then you just walked out with it.”

Patient: “I am not a thief! I have never stolen anything in my life!” *stomps off*

(She called corporate on my coworker for “calling her a thief,” but we had already sent an email to our district manager detailing the incident, so nothing came of it.)

[florida80]

Getting Into The Spirit Of This Parenting Thing
CHILDREN, ENGLAND, OVERHEARD, PHARMACY, UK | RIGHT | AUGUST 24, 2018
(I am at the pharmacy queuing at the checkout. A woman behind me is also queuing with what I presume are her grandchildren. They are screaming, asking for a DVD which said she no to. We go to separate checkouts at the same time, where I overhear this.)

Cashier: “Do you want bags with those?”

Women: “I want some alcohol. It’s the children’s school holiday.”

(It definitely made my being in a shop with screaming kids worth it.)

[florida80]

Time To Prescribe Some Patience
JERK, PHARMACY, STRANGERS, USA | FRIENDLY | AUGUST 19, 2018
(I have just left the doctor’s office and walked to the pharmacy to wait for a prescription to be sent over. The young girl at the register is on the phone, so I wait for her to acknowledge me.)

Cashier: “I’ll be right with you.”

Me: “Okay, thank you.”

(A few minutes pass.)

Cashier: “Okay, picking up?”

Me: “Yes, it was just sent over from [Doctor]. Last name, [Last name]. Born [birthday].”

Cashier: “Hmm, doesn’t look like it’s here yet. You can have a seat and wait, if you’d like.”

Me: “I’ll do that. Thank you.”

(I take a seat and begin scrolling through Facebook while I wait. The phone rings again. A woman comes in and goes right to the register.)

Cashier: “I’ll be right with you, ma’am.”

Woman: “I just left [Doctor], and she sent a medicine order over for me.”

Cashier: *nods, covers phone receiver* “Just a moment.”

Woman: “It’s under [Woman].”

Cashier: *nods, holds up one finger* “As soon as I’m done on the phone, ma’am.”

Woman: “It should be ready.”

Cashier: *nods*

Woman: “Ugh.” *turns to me* “Can you believe this service?”

Me: “I can.”

Woman: “What?”

Me: “Well, she’s clearly busy, and you were told many times that she would be with you after her phone call.”

Woman: “Why don’t you mind your own business?”

Me: “You asked.”

Woman: “The youth of today are so disrespectful! If you were my daughter, I’d have you over my knee for talking to me like that!”

Me: “Guess I’m lucky you’re irrelevant.”

Woman: “How dare you?!”

(I return to my Facebook browsing. The woman sits directly beside me, continuing her rant about disrespectful youth and poor customer service. The cashier hangs up and takes the woman’s information. Of course, it isn’t ready. She resumes her rant, pacing in front of the register.)

Cashier: “[My Name], your order is ready.”

Woman: “Where is mine?”

Cashier: “I’ll let you know as soon as yours is ready.”

Woman: “I’ve half a mind to take my business elsewhere!”

Me: “Don’t use it all in one place.”

Cashier: *trying to keep a straight face* “No copay, [My Name]. Have a good day.”

[florida80]

Some Sick Mannerisms
AUSTRALIA, AWESOME, HEALTH & BODY, MELBOURNE, PHARMACY, VICTORIA | RIGHT | AUGUST 14, 2018
(I’m working the front register at a large pharmacy when a woman comes up from the pharmacist’s desk with her items. She looks like a zombie with bleary, watering eyes and a red nose. I try to speak gently.)

Me: “Hello there.”

Customer: *clearly super congested* “Ngehh.”

(She dumps painkillers, nasal decongestants, cough medicine, and an inhaler on the counter, and then sniffles and gives me a glum look.)

Me: “Not feeling well today? I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Mrrr..”

Me: “Hopefully some of these will help you feel better!”

Customer: *coughs and whimpers*

(She pays, and then picks up and cuddles the bag of medicine.)

Customer: *sniffle* “Egh.” *sniffle* “Ehh… thangks. Have a dice day.”

Coworker: *to me* “Wow. So, her manners were the only thing not broken? What a nice change.”

[florida80]

Some Sick Mannerisms
AUSTRALIA, AWESOME, HEALTH & BODY, MELBOURNE, PHARMACY, VICTORIA | RIGHT | AUGUST 14, 2018
(I’m working the front register at a large pharmacy when a woman comes up from the pharmacist’s desk with her items. She looks like a zombie with bleary, watering eyes and a red nose. I try to speak gently.)

Me: “Hello there.”

Customer: *clearly super congested* “Ngehh.”

(She dumps painkillers, nasal decongestants, cough medicine, and an inhaler on the counter, and then sniffles and gives me a glum look.)

Me: “Not feeling well today? I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Mrrr..”

Me: “Hopefully some of these will help you feel better!”

Customer: *coughs and whimpers*

(She pays, and then picks up and cuddles the bag of medicine.)

Customer: *sniffle* “Egh.” *sniffle* “Ehh… thangks. Have a dice day.”

Coworker: *to me* “Wow. So, her manners were the only thing not broken? What a nice change.”

[florida80]

Getting Into The Spirit Of This Parenting Thing
CHILDREN, ENGLAND, OVERHEARD, PHARMACY, UK | RIGHT | AUGUST 24, 2018
(I am at the pharmacy queuing at the checkout. A woman behind me is also queuing with what I presume are her grandchildren. They are screaming, asking for a DVD which said she no to. We go to separate checkouts at the same time, where I overhear this.)

Cashier: “Do you want bags with those?”

Women: “I want some alcohol. It’s the children’s school holiday.”

(It definitely made my being in a shop with screaming kids worth it.)

[florida80]

Time To Prescribe Some Patience
JERK, PHARMACY, STRANGERS, USA | FRIENDLY | AUGUST 19, 2018
(I have just left the doctor’s office and walked to the pharmacy to wait for a prescription to be sent over. The young girl at the register is on the phone, so I wait for her to acknowledge me.)

Cashier: “I’ll be right with you.”

Me: “Okay, thank you.”

(A few minutes pass.)

Cashier: “Okay, picking up?”

Me: “Yes, it was just sent over from [Doctor]. Last name, [Last name]. Born [birthday].”

Cashier: “Hmm, doesn’t look like it’s here yet. You can have a seat and wait, if you’d like.”

Me: “I’ll do that. Thank you.”

(I take a seat and begin scrolling through Facebook while I wait. The phone rings again. A woman comes in and goes right to the register.)

Cashier: “I’ll be right with you, ma’am.”

Woman: “I just left [Doctor], and she sent a medicine order over for me.”

Cashier: *nods, covers phone receiver* “Just a moment.”

Woman: “It’s under [Woman].”

Cashier: *nods, holds up one finger* “As soon as I’m done on the phone, ma’am.”

Woman: “It should be ready.”

Cashier: *nods*

Woman: “Ugh.” *turns to me* “Can you believe this service?”

Me: “I can.”

Woman: “What?”

Me: “Well, she’s clearly busy, and you were told many times that she would be with you after her phone call.”

Woman: “Why don’t you mind your own business?”

Me: “You asked.”

Woman: “The youth of today are so disrespectful! If you were my daughter, I’d have you over my knee for talking to me like that!”

Me: “Guess I’m lucky you’re irrelevant.”

Woman: “How dare you?!”

(I return to my Facebook browsing. The woman sits directly beside me, continuing her rant about disrespectful youth and poor customer service. The cashier hangs up and takes the woman’s information. Of course, it isn’t ready. She resumes her rant, pacing in front of the register.)

Cashier: “[My Name], your order is ready.”

Woman: “Where is mine?”

Cashier: “I’ll let you know as soon as yours is ready.”

Woman: “I’ve half a mind to take my business elsewhere!”

Me: “Don’t use it all in one place.”

Cashier: *trying to keep a straight face* “No copay, [My Name]. Have a good

[florida80]

Misunderstanding Of A Dollar-Printing Factory
IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, MONEY, PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, PITTSBURGH, USA | RIGHT | AUGUST 14, 2018
(I am working a morning shift behind my register when a disheveled man walks in and approaches the counter. He mumbles and slurs his words together when he talks, making him very difficult to understand.)

Customer: “I need a—” *incomprehensible*

Me: “Sorry, what was that?”

Customer: “I said I need a dollar!”

Me: *thinking he needs to exchange some bills or coins* “Okay, what do you have on you? And how would you like that?”

Customer: “Nooo, I need a dollar.”

Me: *now thinking he might need cash back* “Okay, you just have you buy something small, like a pack of gum or something. I can’t give out money directly from the register.”

Customer: *growing more frustrated* “NO! You see, I have four dollars. And I need five dollars. So, I need a dollar.”

Me: “Sir, I can’t just give out money from the register.”

Customer: *stares at me with a mixture of anger and confusion*

Me: “I can give you cash back or exchange money, but I can’t just give you a dollar. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “I can’t give you money out of my register.”

Customer: *stares at me again and finally leaves*

(I’m not sure why that dollar was so important, or why it’s so hard to understand that stores don’t just give money out to people who ask.)

[florida80]

Prescribe Some Common Sense And Anger Management
JERK, NON-DIALOGUE, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA, VERMONT | WORKING | AUGUST 13, 2018
I work in a pharmacy and we have the store divided into sections: Front Store and Pharmacy. When you give us a call, the prompts will tell you to press one number to talk to Pharmacy, and to press another number for general store questions.

I have just finished helping a customer find an item, and my coworker is on break, which means that I’m all alone up front, and that’s when I get a line of customers and the phone starts ringing.

I pick up the phone while one customer is paying and ask if it’s all right if I put them on hold for a moment. The customer yells, “No, you cannot! I’ve been waiting twenty minutes for my prescription and that is unacceptable!”

The woman tries to keep ranting at me, but I firmly interrupt her to tell her that she’s called the front part of the store and that I’ll have to transfer her to the Pharmacy.

Later, I catch one of the Pharmacy techs and apologize for sending the irate customer their way. The tech looks at me and laughs, and tells me that the woman on the phone wasn’t even in our system, and that her friend who dropped off her prescription dropped it off at another pharmacy altogether.

So, not only did that woman reach the wrong part of the store, but also she didn’t even get the right store!

[florida80]

Prescribing You The Ability To Listen
JERK, MINNESOTA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 9, 2018
(It’s Memorial Day, and my pharmacy is one of the few within a twenty-mile radius that is open. My coworker is on break and I am managing the front of the pharmacy.)

Me: “Hi, sir. How I can help you today?”

Customer: “I’m here to pick up two prescriptions for [Customer].”

Me: “All right, sir, it looks like I have one prescription ready for you, but the other prescription — your [Prescription] — we’re still waiting to hear back from your doctor for more refills.”

Customer: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THEY’RE NOT DONE?!”

Me: “There is one prescription done and ready for you to pick up, sir. The other prescription you requested — [Prescription] — isn’t, because we haven’t heard back from your doctor yet.”

Customer: “I HATE THIS PLACE! YOU GUYS NEVER HAVE ANYTHING DONE! I BROUGHT TWO PRESCRIPTIONS IN ON FRIDAY, AND YOU’RE TELLING ME THEY’RE STILL NOT DONE?!”

Me: “Sir, I have one prescription ready for you right now.” *pause* “The other one is still waiting on your doctor for approval, and since it’s Memorial Day, we may not hear back from your doctor until tomorrow.”

Customer: “You guys are horrible! You never have anything done for me! I hate it here!” *walks off*

(After he walked away, I looked back at the screen to see when he brought in the prescriptions. And turns out, he brought them in yesterday, not Friday. But either way, we still had one he could have taken home with him.)

[florida80]

Clearly They Need Drugs
IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, NEW YORK, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | AUGUST 2, 2018
(A customer comes up through my pharmacy drive-thru and hands me a script for Oxycontin, 30mg, which we do not carry.)

Customer: “I’d like to fill this script here.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t carry this particular medication.”

Customer: “But I want it.”

Me: “We don’t carry this, though. There’s a pharmacy a few blocks from here that does carry this; have you tried filling there?”

Customer: “I don’t want to fill it there. I want it here. You know what? I’m not going to argue with you morons. I’ll come back in an hour to pick it up.”

(I have had no chance to verify any information for this patient — no date of birth, no phone number. The patient comes back in about twenty minutes:)

Customer: “Is it ready yet?”

Me: “No, and we don’t carry this medication.”

Customer: “But I want it now! You had a whole hour to figure it out! Let me speak to your manager!”

(I bring my manager over, and she tells him the exact same thing.)

Customer: “Oh, really? I didn’t know that. Maybe your employee should have told me that before wasting my time.”

[florida80]

No Spoonful Of Sugar Is Helping This Medicine Go Down
BAD BEHAVIOR, FLORIDA, JERK, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | JULY 31, 2018
(When you come to pick up a prescription, I have to make sure it’s going to the right person or I get written up and, if I get written up enough times, lose my job. This particular pharmacy asks that we verify the address on file, but if they don’t know it, I’ll usually take some other manner of verification if necessary. It’s late, and there’s an hour and a half left to go of a seven-hour day, and all I want to do is go home, so I admit I’m a bit tired. A guy comes up who couldn’t be more than 22, I’d guess, and I smile and go to the register, asking him who he’s picking up for.)

Guy: “My girlfriend.”

Me: “Okay. What’s her name?”

Guy: “[First Name].”

(I need a last name in particular to search, and unfortunately most of the younger crowd usually never give their last name unless prompted. I have no idea why.)

Me: “What’s her last name?”

Guy: “[Last Name].”

(I go over to get it, which doesn’t take long, and return.)

Me: “And what’s her address, please?”

(He gives me this look like I’ve told him that the sky is green or that he’s standing on his head.)

Guy: “I’ve picked up before and they’ve never, ever asked me for her address before.”

(Then he clearly hasn’t picked up for her before at this pharmacy, because we always ask for the address. I say it so often that even when I’m doing things that don’t require it, I sometimes end up saying the words. Sometimes I end up asking them their address before I ask their name, before I can stop myself.)

Me: “Um… We always ask for the address.”

Guy: “No one has ever asked me before!”

Me: “Well, sometimes if you don’t know it, we’ll try another way to verify. Do you know it?”

Guy: “No!”

Me: “Okay, what’s her date of birth?”

(That, he knows. He tells that to me and I’m assured that I have the right person. A new law was passed in July that on certain types and classes of medicines, I now have to ask for a form of ID and enter it into the computer. What he’s picking up falls into that class.)

Me: “I need to see your ID, please.”

Guy: “Why?”

Me: “It’s the law as of the first of July. I have to have an ID.”

Guy: “Does that mean I have to get hers from the car?”

Me: “No, I need yours, since you’re picking it up.”

Guy: “But… does that mean I have to get hers?”

Me: “Um… No. I need yours.”

Guy: “I don’t have mine.”

Me: “Then she has to come in and pick it up.”

Guy: “Why can’t I just go get hers and give it to you?”

(Now I can understand his hesitancy. There’s a big storm that has been going on all day, but neither weather nor annoying teenagers are going to make me break the law.)

Me: “Because it’s her license. Whatever license I have has to be for the person picking up. It’s the law.”

(We go back and forth about this for another minute, to the point that my pharmacist has to come over and back me up, telling him that we have to follow all rules and regulations, and if it’s her license, it has be her. He finally goes out to get her and comes back in. I think this is a wonderful opportunity to do my job right now that she’s here.)

Me: “What’s your address?”

Girl: *throws her ID on the counter* “On file.”

Me: *blink*

(I’ve never had a customer refuse to give their address. Sometimes they’ll pretend to give me a hard time or forget some of the numbers, but I’ve never had someone give me a smart a** remark about it being “on file,” because most have the intelligence to realize that there’s a reason I’m asking for it and it’s most certainly not to hear myself talk. I want to keep my job.)

Me: “I’m sorry; we ask that for verification. If you don’t know yo—”

Girl: *interrupts snottily* “I know my address. It’s [address].”

(She picked up her license from the counter and proceeded to throw it again. I decided I’d had enough of dealing with the twat that was clearly just too lazy to come in and sent her boyfriend in for her, since I could see no legitimate reason for her not to come in besides the rain. And part of me wanted a little bit of revenge for these people half my age giving me a hard time, so I took my time, every bit of it that I could, prolonging the transaction just because they were antsy. As they left, she shot me a glare, snatched up her prescription, and then went to the industrial scale nearby that people use to measure weight and proceeded to jump up and down on it once or twice before leaving.)

[florida80]

This Policy Has Gone To The Dogs
CANADA, EMPLOYEES, GROCERY STORE, JERK, ONTARIO, PETS & ANIMALS, PHARMACY, REVOLTING | WORKING | JULY 31, 2018
(I’m at common, nationwide pharmacy and grocery store when I see a woman walking a small dog down one of the aisles. While the woman is distracted, I watch the dog pee on a shelf filled with cereal boxes. The woman never seems to notice, so as I am heading to the cash, anyway, I decide to tell the cashiers about the dog. There are two cashiers and a supervisor at the front when I get up there.)

Me: “Hi, do you guys know you have a lady in here walking around with a dog?”

Supervisor: “Yeah, it’s fine.”

Me: “Really? So, I can bring my dog in with me next time?”

(Pointing at my dog sitting outside the glass window watching for me.)

Supervisor: “Ah, no. She’s just a friend, so it’s okay.”

Me: “Not really. Your company policy says no dogs except service dogs, so I should be allowed to bring my dog in if that woman can; it’s clearly not a service dog.”

Supervisor: “No, but it’s a really good dog! So, it’s okay for her, but uh, your dog can’t come in. “

(I see nothing wrong with dogs in stores as long as the owners are responsible, clean up if there’s an accident, and carefully watch them. I also have this view of parents with kids. My dog loves her pet store and hardware store walking trips, but this attitude annoyed me. Guess what I didn’t tell them?)

[florida80]

Trying To Pay With A Photo Finish
LEBANON, MATH & SCIENCE, PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | JULY 30, 2018
Customer: “Excuse me, can you help me with this photo machine?”

Me: “Yes, what’s the problem?”

Customer: “It printed all of my photos, but it’s telling me to bring the receipt to the counter, and it’s not printing a receipt.”

(Our kiosk’s receipt printer hasn’t worked in years, so we frequently have to give this explanation.)

Me: “The summary it printed after the last photo is what we use. It tells you how many pictures were in the order, and we can figure the price out from that.”

Customer: “But I don’t know how much photos cost!”

Me: “Well, they’re 29 cents each, and it says here there were 13 photos, so with that—”

Customer: “But it doesn’t tell me how much it’ll cost, or how many photos there are!”

(She begins counting the photos by hand, so I grab the calculator and work out the cost.)

Customer: “…twelve, thirteen. Now to get the cost. Thirteen times 29 cents…”

Me: “It’ll be $3.77 before tax, ma’am.”

(The customer ignores me and continues to write out the multiplication.)

Customer: “Okay, it’s $3.77! By the way, you don’t sell photo postcards here, do you? Or any of the stores in this square?”

Me: “I’m afraid we don’t; if anyone here does, it would probably be [Other Store], so I’d check there first.”

Customer: “Thank you. I’ll do that!”

(The customer immediately turns from the counter and starts toward the exit.)

Me: “Ma’am, you need to— Ma’am, you need to pay for those!”

Customer: “I did!”

Me: “No… you didn’t.”

Customer: “I paid it right over there, you can check my balance and see!”

(Fearful that she might have tried jamming her card into a slot on the kiosk, I rush around… only to find her pointing at the ATM next to it.)

Customer: “I slid it right here, and it says here you can check my balance to see.”

Me: “This is the store’s ATM, not part of the photo machine.”

Customer: “Well, can I check my balance?”

Me: “Uh… Yes?”

(With another customer waiting, I leave to ring them up while keeping the first customer in earshot while she uses the ATM.)

Customer: “It wants a PIN? It’s never asked for that before!”

(I finish checking the second customer out, right as the first customer walks back up to the counter.)

Customer: “Since when does it want a PIN for anything? Anyway, I guess I’ll trust that I still need to pay for these. But I’m using cash this time, not a card!”

Me: “All right, after tax, that’ll be four dollars even!”

(The customer pulls out a small wad of bills with a twenty and three ones visible. She returns to her purse, and I assume she’s getting a fourth dollar bill.)

Customer: “Feels like it’s been forever since I paid with cash!”

(She does pull out another wad of cash with another dollar bill, only to drop it and continue digging for two more handfuls. By the time she stops, I can see a five, a ten, a twenty, and far more ones than needed to pay for the pictures.)

Me: “Ma’am, you… have enough to pay for this…”

(Paying no attention to me, she begins straightening out some of the ones, the five, and the twenty. After she’s stacked twelve of them up, she sighs and slides me the ten.)

Customer: “Oh, just take it out of the ten, then.”

Me: “Um… Okay… And six dollars is your change!”

Customer: “Whew, never a dull moment, is there?”

Me: “Nope!”

[florida80]

The Couponator 7: The Forgotten Coupon
AT THE CHECKOUT, COUPON, KENTUCKY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | JULY 24, 2018
(I’m a cashier at a pharmacy. Unfortunately, due to its rewards program, our chain is a haven for “Coupon Queens” to come buy a cartload of products for $3.00. I mean, do what you gotta do, but sometimes, the couponers get way out of hand. The customer in this story is a notorious regular, and he and his wife always make my coworkers and me go running when they come into the store. The customer, sans his wife, has been chatting to me while I ring him up, going on about saving this and saving that, occasionally snapping at me if I even look at one of the items he’s set aside for a third or fourth transaction. It takes fifteen minutes before I finally get it all rang up.)

Customer: “I’ll bring your cart back in when I get these out to my car. I just… Oh, s***!”

Me: “Is everything all right, sir?”

Customer: “I forgot to use my coupons on this stuff. Oh, my God, my wife is going to kill me. Here, you need to refund all of these so I can do it again and use my coupons.”

Me: “I… I’m sorry, sir. I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Well, why the h*** not? I have the coupons right here; there’s no one else in line right now.”

Me: “Sir, it’s against company policy. I cannot refund your items for full price, and then sell them back to you when you’re using coupons.”

Customer: “Well, I’m going to tell my wife you did this!” *storms out*

[florida80]

On A Check Trek
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, EMPLOYEES, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, PHARMACY | WORKING | JULY 16, 2018
(I am at the pharmacy picking up my prescriptions, when the pharmacy technician gestures to the bag of syringes that come with.)

Pharmacy Technician: “Are you wanting these, too?”

Me: “They are part of the order, so yes, please.”

Pharmacy Technician: “I’ll have to check on the price.”

Me: “Okay.” *waits for her to go, she stands there*

Pharmacy Technician: “Do you want me to check the price?”

Me: “Um… Yes?”

Pharmacy Technician: “Okay.” *goes to check price and comes back holding the bag* “$1.49!”

Me: “For all of them?”

Pharmacy Technician: “No, only for one.”

Me: “What’s the price on them all?”

Pharmacy Technician: “I’ll have to check that.”

Me: “Okay.” *waits as she stands there*

Pharmacy Technician: “Do you want me to check that?”

Me: “Um… Yes.”

Pharmacy Technician: “Okay.” *grabs calculator* “$17.88.”

Me: “Total price?”

Pharmacy Technician: “Excluding taxes.”

Me: *really don’t want to ask this* “What is the total, please?”

Pharmacy Technician: “I’ll have to check that.”

Me: *wanting to cry, bang head, scream* “Of course you do.” *waits as she stands there*

Pharmacy Technician: “Do you want me to check that?”

Me: *thinks* “NO, I WANT YOU TO DANCE FOR ME! ENTERTAIN ME! ON YOUR HEAD!” *saying* “Yes, please.”

[florida80]

Going To Have A Date Of Death If You Don’t Get It Right
BAD BEHAVIOR, COLUMBUS, OHIO, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | JULY 14, 2018
(I work in the pharmacy of a regional grocery chain. We require the person picking up a prescription order to give us the patient’s name and date of birth; if they don’t give us the date of birth, we cannot release the prescription order to them. I am doing my scheduled counter rotation when a baby boomer who looks like a redneck Santa approaches. He is talking away on his cell phone.)

Me: “Hi there. Picking up?”

Customer: *pulls his phone away from his face* “Yeah I’m picking up for my mother-in-law. Wife’s after me to get this stuff.”

Me: “Sure thing. What’s her name?”

Customer: “Her name is [Mother-In-Law].”

Me: “And her date of birth?”

Customer: *scoffs* “I don’t know. She’s my mother-in-law. I don’t pay attention to that s***.”

Me: “Unfortunately, our system requires we enter the patient’s date of birth to help prevent prescription theft.”

(The customer quite literally turns very red. I steel myself for an angry tirade.)

Customer: “This is bulls***. Simple mother-f*****…” *storms off, ranting and raving to his wife*

Boss: “[My Name]… what was that all about?”

Me: “He didn’t react very well to me telling him I needed his mother-in-law’s birthdate to release her meds to him.”

Boss: “He was on the phone with his wife, wasn’t he?”

Me: “Yep. Don’t know why he didn’t just ask her.”

[florida80]

How Dare You Stop To Eat?!
ILLINOIS, INSTANT KARMA, JERK, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | JULY 6, 2018
(I go to the pharmacy department of a larger than normal location of a major retailer. It’s about 2:25 pm, and the gates to the pharmacy counter are down with a sign apologizing for being closed for lunch. There are about four people ahead of me in line. Though I am in a hurry, I decide to stay since the sign states that they will reopen in five minutes. Four minutes later, the gates reopen, and the pharmacist is at the counter alone, since her support staff hasn’t returned yet. She greets the first man in line.)

Pharmacist: “Thank you for waiting. How may I help you, sir?”

Man: “I’m here to pick up my prescription, under [Man].”

(The pharmacist verifies personal information with the man.)

Man: *as the pharmacist is ringing up the order* “I had to wait ten minutes for you guys to open! It’s just ridiculous that—”

Pharmacist: *cutting the man off, in a tone that is both mockingly concerned, and professional* “Yes, sir, it is ridiculous that I have to work a ten-hour shift, and am only allowed twenty minutes to sit down and eat in the back of this store. I’m so sorry that you had to wait that short amount of time. Your total is [amount].”

(The man said nothing further, refused to make eye contact with anyone, paid, and left. By then, her staff had returned, and the pharmacist went to the back of the work area, immediately answering the phone. The staff made short work of the rest of the people in line, who all were friendly to the workers. I was out the door before 2:40 pm.)

[florida80]

How To Treat Dog-Breath
CANADA, ONTARIO, PHARMACY, STRANGERS, STUPID, TORONTO | HEALTHY | JULY 6, 2018
(I am a veterinary technician and sometimes I leave work still wearing scrubs.)

Cashier: “So, you work at the dental office in this plaza, right?”

Me: “Nope, I’m a veterinary technician. I work at the vet clinic over there.” *gesturing*

Other Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “I’m a nurse for animals.”

Other Customer: “Oh. There’s this mouth-wash I’ve been meaning to try. The stuff from [Human Brand]. Can you tell me if it’s any good?”

Me: “Um… I’m a veterinary technician. I nurse animals.”

Other Customer: “It’s all the same. So, can you tell me if the mouthwash is any good?”

[florida80]

They Need New Glasses As Well As Their Drugs
DALLAS, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, TEXAS, USA | HEALTHY | JULY 5, 2018
(I pull into a drive-thru pharmacy to pick up my prescription, and there’s just one car in front of me. It’s ten full minutes before the car in front of me drives off and I can pull up to the window, but I’m not in a hurry, so I don’t really mind.)

Me: “I’m picking up a prescription for [My Last Name].”

Pharmacist: “Okay, let me just pull that up.”

(She’s gone for a few minutes, and I’m starting to think that this is why the line was slow. Obviously, I think, they must have new people there who don’t know what they’re doing. When she comes back:)

Pharmacist: “I’m sorry, but I don’t have any filled prescriptions listed under your name.”

Me: “But I got an email saying my prescription was ready.”

Pharmacist: “I don’t know what to say. We have you in our system from about two years ago, but there’s nothing recent.”

Me: “Can you check again? I got the email, so I know it’s ready.”

(The pharmacist is gone even longer this time, and I’m starting to feel pretty righteously indignant.)

Pharmacist: “No, we don’t have anything ready for you.”

Me: “Look, that just doesn’t make sense. I don’t understand how I can have an email from Walgreens right here saying that my prescription is ready, but you guys apparently don’t have it.”

Pharmacist: *blank stare* “Ma’am, this is CVS.”

(I felt like such a complete moron that I just drove away in embarrassment. Pharmacist, if you’re out there, I’m really sorry I didn’t apologize!)

[florida80]

They Must Get Lost Driving To The AMC
NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | JULY 3, 2018
(My aunt works at the pharmacy in a CVS, and often comes home with hilarious stories about customers or doctor offices. This one in particular I find incredibly stupid.)

Aunt: “Hello, this is [Aunt] from CVS. I need to order a refill for [Medication] for [Patient].”

Doctor’s Office: “Where are you calling from?”

Aunt: “CVS.”

Doctor’s Office: “Can you spell that?”

Aunt: “Um… C-V-S.”

Doctor’s Office: “Where? Spell it?”

Aunt: “C as in ‘cat,’ V as in ‘Victor,’ S like in ‘Sam.’”

Doctor’s Office: “Where?”

(According to her, this went on for five minutes before she finally got the medication ordered. The customer even warned her that the office was awful before she made the call.)

[florida80]

You’re Boxing Me In Here
AUSTRALIA, HOBART, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, STUPID, TASMANIA | HEALTHY | JUNE 27, 2018
(At my pharmacy, we commonly take orders by phone so that a customer’s medications can be ready to collect when they arrive. This phone order, however, is a little different.)

Me: “Good afternoon. This is [Pharmacy]. [My Name] speaking. How can I help?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to order some medications, please.”

Me: “Sure. What do you need?”

Customer: “I can’t remember what they’re called, sorry.”

Me: “That’s okay. We can figure it out. Do you remember what they’re for?”

Customer: “No, sorry. But they come in a box…”

[florida80]

Mayor Of Candyland Shouldn’t Mix Up His Candies
BIZARRE, EMPLOYEES, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, PITTSBURGH, USA | RIGHT | JUNE 26, 2018
(I work in a pharmacy. I have a regular customer who is rather eccentric, and usually wears the same clothing: a raccoon fur cap — complete with tail — and a denim jacket covered in buttons and patches depicting his niche interests. He also usually rides a store-provided mobility scooter. This day, he comes in wearing a pinstripe suit, a faux velvet top hat, and a plastic pendant on a red ribbon of the sort you might find in a child’s Dracula Halloween costume. He is also walking with a cane, not riding the scooter. It’s the end of a long day, and his outfit is so different from usual that I don’t recognize him at first.)

Me: “Hello, sir. May I have your name?”

Regular: *stares at me for a second* “[Regular].”

Me: “Oh! Mr. [Regular]! Sorry, I didn’t recognize you at first. You’re wearing a different hat!”

(I pull up his profile on the computer while exchanging pleasantries.)

Me: “I’m afraid you don’t have any prescriptions ready. Was there one you were expecting?”

Regular: “I just thought I’d stop by and see if any of my automatic refills were ready.”

Me: “Well, let me see…”

(I look at the relevant page of his profile and see that all of his maintenance medications are indeed set to auto-fill, but it’s still a few weeks before they’re due to be filled again.)

Me: “Looks like you should be good for a while. You should get a call when your prescriptions are filled. Do we have your correct phone number on file?” *repeats number*

Regular: “Yep, that’s the one.”

Me: “All right, then you’ll get a call letting you know when your prescriptions are ready. Thanks for stopping by, Mr. [Regular]. It was good to see you!”

(The regular walks away, making quite the picture with his top hat and suit. The next customer in line comes up to my register and stares after the regular for a moment.)

Customer: “Is he the mayor of Candyland?!”

[florida80]

Teenage Scream
CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, PHARMACY, SOUTH CAROLINA, TEENAGERS, USA | RIGHT | JUNE 22, 2018
(I work in a pharmacy. I am filling in as an over-the-counter floor manager while our salaried management is out to meetings. Since I am an hourly supervisor, I am not allowed to do some things, like cash pulls or theft stops, but everything has been smooth throughout the day. It should be noted that at the time of this story, I am several months pregnant, but I am still getting around normally. I am crouching behind the counter for supplies when I hear a customer walk by.)

Me: *popping my head just over the counter* “Good morning!”

Teenage Boy: “Jesus! Uh… hi…”

(The kid looks a bit startled, but I don’t think much of it since I kind of came out of nowhere. I come out from behind the counter to see him flipping through the pegs of condoms. He is acting very sketchy, so I try to stay out of sight but where I can still watch him. Sure enough, he pockets a small pack of condoms. I cut the corner just as he is about to put another pack of condoms in his coat pocket. He drops them on the floor and I exaggeratedly struggle to bend over picking them up.)

Me: *poking my belly out* “Man, let me tell you from experience, I would not recommend this kind.”

(The kid practically ran out of the store, ditching the condoms in his pocket onto a nearby display on the way out.)

[florida80]

Big Spender Is Actually Big Whiner
BAD BEHAVIOR, MASSACHUSETTS, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | JUNE 20, 2018
(It is a somewhat quiet evening. A customer comes in, and I greet her. My manager is standing nearby, and once the customer is out of earshot, she informs me that the customer is well-known for being rude and to call her if I need help. Sure enough, once the customer finishes shopping, she starts.)

Customer: *slams the first of many items onto the counter* “You need to get the manager up here now, because I need a discount.”

Me: *surprised* “Yeah, sure, let me page her now.”

(I page her and ring out the rest of the customer’s items as quickly as I can. My manager walks up from the back.)

Manager: “Hi, what can I help you with?”

Customer: “I need a discount. I have a coupon on my card, but it doesn’t show up when I try to print it, and you need to do something about it.”

(When this happens, it is almost always customer error; either the wrong email is linked to their store card, or they never set one up at all. We will generally input the coupon as long as the customer can show us the email that contains the coupon. Even if the customer can’t get the email up, we will still put it in under special circumstances — if they are buying a decent amount of stuff, are a regular customer, etc.)

Manager: “Okay, that’s fine. Can you pull up the coupon on your phone? I need to see the coupon to be able to put it in.”

Customer: *raising her voice* “WELL, I can try but I don’t know if it’ll work. You need to give me a discount because I spend a lot of money here, and this is unacceptable!”

Manager: *I can tell she is getting agitated* “All right, well, just try to pull that up, because we cannot give discounts without actually seeing the coupon in some form.”

Customer: “Well, I spend a lot of money here!”

(She clicks around on her phone for a minute or two and is able to bring the coupon up, and my manager puts it in and the customer finally pays and leaves.)

Manager: “You know, it’s a good thing she had her coupon, because I wasn’t going to give her the discount if she didn’t. She could have flipped out all she wanted, but I’ll be d***ed if I’m going to reward her s***ty behavior. Oh, and as for spending a lot of money here, she comes in maybe once a month…”

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #114601 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=114601)
NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | JUNE 15, 2018
(More often than not, customers come in through our registers wearing headphones or talking on the phone. As such, communicating with them becomes a hassle, but it’s tolerable. This is not the case this time. This customer is not wearing headphones, nor is he on his phone.)

Me: How can I help you, sir?

Customer: (says nothing, but drops his items for me to scan)

Me: Do you have your rewards card?

Customer: Yes I do. (He immediately swipes his credit card even though I have not yet started scanning his items)

Me: Sorry sir, the register isn’t ready for that yet.

(I scan his items fairly quickly and he swipes his card once more, again the register isn’t ready to accept payment yet, at this point I can see it’s a chip card so swiping won’t do it any good either way)

Me: Would you like to use your rewards card for this purchase first?

Customer: Oh! Yes. (at this point he puts in his phone number, bringing up his rewards membership, discounts, etc.)

Me: Okay sir, there we go! Now if you could just put the chip in the reader down below

(The customer AGAIN swipes his card through, prompting the card reader to display the “PLEASE INSERT CHIP” message for him to see. He’s not paying attention and I am screaming internally)

Me: Sir, please use the chip reader below.

Customer: Oh okay. (He puts the chip in, and the machine takes his payment)

Me: Thank you very much, sir, and have a good night

(He ignores me once again as he walks out with his purchases)

[florida80]

Medical Bills Paid By Friends’ Bills
ALBERTA, CALGARY, CANADA, INSPIRATIONAL, KIND STRANGERS, PHARMACY | HOPELESS | MAY 30, 2018
(I stop in the pharmacy to get some medications for my husband, who recently lost his job because of a medical condition. We were already on income support because I am physically disabled and this has been a hard hit to our income. We just found out the income support system is about to revoke our benefits unless we can prove that he does not willfully leave his job by the end of the month. With a toddler and both of us needing the medical coverage, this is terrifying. Our normal doctor is on maternity leave until January of next year and her covers won’t help us because they don’t want to deal with the system. The same story goes with every doctor we see. They all insist they need to have been seeing us for at least three months before they’ll even consider it. Neither of us have any family or support, as we were both runaways from abuse. By this point, I am counting change, trying to figure out if I have enough to get the medication we both desperately need.)

Stranger: *taps me on the shoulder* “Hey, let me get that for you.” *tries to shove a ten dollar bill in my hand*

Me: *close to tears* “Oh, no! I really can’t. Thanks, anyway.” *tries to give it back*

Stranger: “Nah, keep it. Or, hey, tell you what…” *hands me a twenty and takes the ten back* “There. Fair trade.”

(By now I was seriously crying and didn’t notice the older man’s mother coming up beside me. Gently she took me by the elbow and they both lead me away from the pharmacy counter. They started asking me questions and I admitted that we were struggling and how scared I was. They started brainstorming between the two of them and gave me numbers to doctors they trusted. They took my email and gave me their phone numbers just in case. As a last thing, they took the twenty-dollar bill, and the man shoved a bunch of money into my bag, saying he wouldn’t take no for an answer and just to pass it on when I had the chance to help someone else. I realized that yes, I needed that help right then. I stopped fighting, figuring it was at most forty bucks but would help pay my kid’s school fees. When I got home and took the money out, I was shocked to see that instead of just a small amount, he’d put five hundred dollars into my bag. That money did help keep us afloat for the next week as we paid bills. We finally found a doctor willing to help us and our income has since stabilized. I told the stranger, who is now a supporter and friend, that we’d pay him back. He refused and told me to help others, instead. I plan to.)

[florida80]

Those Poor, Poor, Dolphins
BIZARRE, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 28, 2018
(It’s my second day working for a pharmacy at a local grocery store. We have a display near the register that has animal-themed thermometers like dolphins, seals, whales, etc. A woman walks up and picks up a dolphin thermometer, looking at it for a good minute or so.)

Me: “Hi, did you need help with anything?”

Woman: “Yeah, are these for rectal use?”

[florida80]

Butt-Hurt About The Butt-Cream
BAD BEHAVIOR, OHIO, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 26, 2018
(I work in a pharmacy in a large box store. On Sundays, when only one pharmacist is on duty, the pharmacy shuts down for them to take a lunch break. This story is related to me by one of the pharmacists. The gate is down, but can sort of be seen through, and the pharmacist can be glimpsed through the holes.)

Lady: *at the top of her voice* “HEY! HEY, YOU! ARE YOU OPEN?!”

Pharmacist: “Uh, no, ma’am, we reopen in ten minutes. Please come back then.”

Lady: “IT’LL ONLY TAKE A MINUTE! I NEED SOME BUTT CREAM!”

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, we’re closed! Please come back in ten minutes.”

Lady: “BUTT! CREAM! JUST GIVE ME SOME G**D*** BUTT CREAM!”

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, we’re closed! We’ll reopen in ten minutes!”

Lady: “THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I JUST NEED SOME BUTT CREAM!”

(She finally stormed off… two minutes before we reopened for business.)

[florida80]

What A Baka!
BOSSES & OWNERS, CANADA, JERK, MONTREAL, PHARMACY, WORDPLAY | WORKING | MAY 21, 2018
(My supervisor is known for being quite a nit-pick and strictly following rules that don’t actually exist. Also, I’ve taken a few years of Japanese classes. One day, I get a Japanese customer at my register while my supervisor is filling a display right behind me. The customer and I chat in Japanese while I scan his items, and he asks to pay with his credit card. By company policy, we have to check an ID for every foreign credit card. The customer complies and hands me his Japanese driver license, because he forgot his passport at the hotel. I confirm that the credit card is his, and I am about to hand him his license back.)

Supervisor: “Wait! What are you doing?” *snatches the license from my hand* “You can’t accept this!”

Me: “Why is that? I know that it isn’t a passport, but this is a government-issued ID, and his picture is on it, so I don’t see why I can’t accept it.”

Supervisor: “Well, this ID is not in our alphabet! You can only accept IDs written in our alphabet.”

Me: “First, since when is this a rule? Second, you’ve heard me speak with him for the past two minutes; you know that I speak the language. I can read this, and confirm that the credit card is his.”

Supervisor: “It has to be in our alphabet! You have to be able to read it to accept it.”

Me: “But… [Supervisor], I can read it!”

Supervisor: “Hmph, I’ll let it slide for today, but don’t do that again!”

(I asked the store manager the next day. That rule doesn’t exist.)

[florida80]

Smoking Puts You Out Of Sync
LAZY/UNHELPFUL, NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MAY 21, 2018
(At the pharmacy where I work, we sell cigarettes, among other things. This exchange happens more often than I’d like to admit.)

Customer: “Can I get [Brand] cigarettes?”

(The customer does not specify which strength or flavor of the cigarettes, as we have many.)

Me: “Which kind?”

Customer: “[Brand].”

Me: “Which type of [Brand]?”

Customer: “Oh! [Strength].”

Me: “Okay, would you like the box, soft pack, or 100s?”

Customer: “[Strength].”

Me: “Box it is.”

Customer: “I want 100s!”

Me: *screaming internally*

[florida80]

Spells Something Else Entirely
CALIFORNIA, FUNNY NAMES, PHARMACY, SACRAMENTO, USA, WORDPLAY | RIGHT | MAY 19, 2018
(I’m the customer in this story. I’ve just seen my doctor for the first time, and she’s sent down a prescription for me to the pharmacy downstairs. I make it up to the window, and there are a ton of people down there, so it’s a little noisy.)

Clerk: “It looks like your prescription isn’t ready yet, but I’m going to write down your name so we can call you when it’s ready. Can you give me your name?”

Me: *gives name*

Clerk: “And who’s your doctor?”

Me: “Dr. Fu.”

Clerk: “Sorry, it’s a little loud, I didn’t quite hear that. Can you spell your doctor’s name for me?”

Me: “Sure. It’s F-U.” *pause* “Oh, my God, that’s not what I meant!”

Clerk: *laughs*

[florida80]

When Double Trouble Is Not Enough
FUNNY KIDS, PHARMACY, SIBLINGS, USA | RELATED | MAY 11, 2018
(I’m waiting in line for the cashier when a woman walks up behind me with two boys. They’re junior-high-aged and alike as two peas in a pod.)

Woman: “[Boy #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ], you keep our place in line while I take [Boy #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] over to look at the braces.”

(She walks off with the other lad.)

Me: “So, is it fun being a twin?”

Boy #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : *grinning* “We aren’t twins.”

Me: “…”

Boy #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : *grinning even more hugely* “We’re triplets!“

[florida80]

Spoon-Feeding You Some Advice
HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | MAY 9, 2018
(Sadly, I’m the stupid customer in this one. I have bronchitis and have just made it home from the pharmacy with my cough syrup. When I open the bag, I notice the cup that you use to take the medicine isn’t in there, so I call the pharmacy.)

Pharmacist: “Thank you for calling [Pharmacy]. This is [Pharmacist]. How can I help you?”

Me: “Hi. This is [My Name]. I just picked up my prescription for [cough syrup], and when I got home I saw that it didn’t have the cup thing you use to take it with.”

Pharmacist: “I’m sorry, [My Name]. Do you want to come back and pick one up?”

Me: “Well, I have to take the bus, and I don’t want to get everyone else sick, too.”

Pharmacist: “Okay, well, do you bake?”

Me: *slightly confused* “Yes?”

Pharmacist: “Then you can use the teaspoon measuring spoon from your baking set.”

Me: “But… but… I need medicine teaspoons, not baking teaspoons.”

(She then proceeded to calmly explain to me that teaspoons were teaspoons, no matter what they were used for.)

[florida80]

Prescribing Some Honesty
CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, OHIO, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MAY 4, 2018
(I work in the pharmacy of a large drug store chain. A few weeks prior to this incident, a man came in and was acting twitchy. He eventually shoved some greeting cards down his pants and put a beer in his pocket before leaving. Shoplifting is hard to prove, but we got it on camera. On a day I am working, he comes back in with some prescriptions. I start putting them in; I have no idea about the previous incident.)

Lead Tech: “Stop! Don’t fill his stuff. [Manager] said since we got him stealing on camera, we can ask him to leave.”

(He goes to alert the pharmacist of the situation.)

Pharmacist: “[Shoplifter]! I am sorry, but I can’t fill this prescription for you.”

Shoplifter: “Why not? I need my medicine.”

Pharmacist: “Sir, last time you were in, we caught you stealing on camera, and we are choosing not to serve you. Please take your prescriptions elsewhere.” *hands him back his papers*

Shoplifter: *takes them* “It was only a beer!”

(He did end up taking his prescriptions and leaving, and the pharmacist filled me in on the previous incident. We were all so shocked that he admitted to stealing, and then also tried to act like it was okay!)

[florida80]

Name Change Approved
AUSTRALIA, HOBART, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, TASMANIA, WORDPLAY | HEALTHY | MAY 4, 2018
(A customer is picking up a regular prescription medication but he also wants something else.)

Customer: “Can I also have some ‘Stuffy Nose Squirts’?”

(He wanted a decongestant nasal spray.)

[florida80]

Looks Like They Already Had Their Drugs
NEW YORK, PHARMACY, RUDE & RISQUE, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 19, 2018
(I have just started my first job at a local pharmacy and convenience store, and it is my third day of training. I am standing behind the counter with an older coworker of mine. We hear the door open, and look over.)

Customer: *quickly walks through the doors and to the other end of the floor, where the pharmacy is*

Me: *looking at my coworker* “Was she…”

Coworker: *taking a sip of an energy drink* “…not wearing any pants? Welcome to the job, kid.”

Me: “…”

[florida80]

At Least You Know The Medicine Is Kosher
NEW YORK, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | APRIL 16, 2018
(I am the dumb customer in this instance. The store that I work at has a pharmacy in it, where I get all of my medications. The store has a policy in the pharmacy where the first three letters of the customers names are printed on the bags you pick up your prescriptions in. The first time I go to pick up a prescription there, I have never seen this before. Upon picking up my prescription, I see the first three letters of my last name.)

Prescription: “JEW.”

Me: *in genuine confusion* “No, I’m not?”

[florida80]

When You Work For Them You’re Branded
BOSSES & OWNERS, INDIANA, NEW HIRES, PHARMACY, USA | WORKING | APRIL 9, 2018
(I get hired for [Popular Pharmacy Chain] and go through their training. It’s all through their computer system, with videos and quizzes. There’s a thirty-minute session on “branded greetings,” which explains how I have to say the same things during every transaction so customers always have a uniform experience at every store in the chain. I feel like a robot doing this, but I’m good at the spiel after about a week. Then, my manager pulls me aside.)

Manager: “Why are you using branded greetings?”

Me: *thinking this is a test* “Um… so that every customer gets the same treatment at every store and we deliver a uniform experience.”

Manager: “We haven’t used those in years. People said we sounded like robots, and corporate made us stop.”

Me: “Well, it’s still in the training.”

Manager: “Oh, well, you don’t have to do that anymore. I apparently have to update the training software.” *runs off*

Me: *facepalm*

[florida80]

Not Passing With Flying Colors
DUBLIN, EMPLOYEES, IRELAND, JERK, PHARMACY | WORKING | APRIL 3, 2018
(I am in a well-known UK-based pharmacy and drugstore, looking for a hand cream. I am wearing ripped jeans, combat boots, and a leather jacket, and have very short hair. I smile at the staff as I walk in and set off in search of the right aisle, minding my own business. As I open a tube to smell the cream, the worker beside the door rushes up and snatches the bottle out of my hand.)

Worker: “Can you not open the products? What are you looking for?”

Me: “Oh, sorry, I was just smelling it. I’m fine, thanks.”

(I think that’s the end of it, as she stalks off. I pick up my items and turn the corner, checking out the makeup. As I swatch a lipstick tester, the same worker storms up and glares at me.)

Worker: “I said don’t open the products! You’ll have to pay for it now!”

Me: “Excuse me? This is a tester, and I haven’t even touched it yet!”

Worker: “Fine. Sit down. I’ll match a colour to you. You clearly need it; whoever matched your current foundation must be colour-blind.”

Me: *taken aback by the sheer rudeness of this woman* “Er. No, thanks.”

(I walked away, irritated, but still with some time to kill before my bus home, so I browsed some other items. I could see the worker following me closely and glaring if I so much as reached out towards a product. Eventually, I had enough. I went to the till, with her following. The girl at the checkout scanned my items and my loyalty card and told me my total. As I handed her my money, the rude worker stormed over and grabbed the iodine pen, scribbling all over my note, a smug grin on her face. I waited as nothing happened to my money, and silently fumed as I was handed my receipt. I felt her glare boring into my back as I left the shop, seriously having to bite down on my tongue to stop myself from yelling at her. I get that workers are supposed to upsell and offer assistance, but judging me outright by my appearance, being incredibly rude about my makeup, and being convinced I’m a thief with no reason is taking it a bit far.)

[florida80]

Would You Like A Cosmo With Your Allergy Bran?
HOLIDAYS, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, LOUISIANA, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | APRIL 1, 2018
(It’s Easter Sunday. My parents, my grandmother, and I are coming back from an early dinner out at an uptown restaurant and we stop to pick up some prescriptions for my grandmother at an old pharmacy where the restroom is in the back room. This exchange occurs just as I exit the back room after using the restroom.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I’m looking for [Specific Allergy Brand], but I can’t find it, and this is the allergy aisle. Would it be anywhere else?”

Me: “I have no idea, sorry. Um, good luck.”

(The customer muttered something under her breath that I couldn’t hear as I was walking away. During this exchange I was wearing a cocktail dress and heels, and she looked right at me as she was asking her question.)

[florida80]

It’s A Man’s World Of Pain
AUSTRALIA, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, MELBOURNE, NON-DIALOGUE, PHARMACY, VICTORIA | HEALTHY | MARCH 12, 2018
I have an eight-and-a-bit-month-old child, and I’ve been having some pain during sex, so I book in to see my OB-GYN.

The appointment is really straightforward and I’m told to go get a cream. I also have a birth control rod inserted whilst I’m there. I wander over to the pharmacy and hand over my script. I’m not asked for my Medicare card, but I’m asked if I have concession.

I reply no, with no more thought into the answer. I wait and collect my script and note that I’ve been charged a concession price. Not thinking too much into it, and thinking that I must have one linked to my Medicare card, I pay the $12.80 instead of $50 to $80 for my items and head back across the road.

I get the rod implanted and continue about my day, a bit perplexed how I got charged concession. It’s not until later that night when I’m reading the script again that I realise they’ve put it under the wrong name. I’m a Mrs. [My Name], and they put it under a Mr. [Same Name].

I burst out laughing that they have given a man vaginal cream and contraception, at an OB-GYN.

[florida80]

A Picture Of Bad Parenting
BAD BEHAVIOR, BIZARRE, KENTUCKY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MARCH 8, 2018
(I go into the store to pick up some photo prints I ordered online. Unfortunately, before I can get to the counter another customer beats me to the unmanned counter. As she approaches she immediately begins yelling.)

Customer: “CAN SOMEONE COME OVER HERE AND HELP ME?!”

(An employee approaches the counter.)

Customer: “I ordered these prints online; I need them.”

Employee: “Okay, what name are they under?”

Customer: “I don’t know; I don’t know if they made it.”

Employee: “You don’t know?”

Customer: “I used this app and it won’t send. You need to just do it.”

Employee: “I’m sorry. We aren’t allowed to—”

Customer: *sighs dramatically* “Well, what am I supposed to do?”

Employee: “You need to click on—”

Customer: “I already did that.”

Employee: “Well, try it again.”

Customer: “There, see? Now what?!”

Employee: “So, now, you need to—”

Customer: “This is stupid! I’m just going to go back to the main menu. So, what do I do from here?”

(The employee attempts several times to guide the customer through the process, and she continues to cut her off and ignore her suggestions. The customer appears to be in a huge hurry, and is obviously aggravated. Finally, after a few minutes.)

Customer: *about the app* “This is a joke. This is a total joke. Fine. Whatever. We’ll do this on Facebook.” *she takes a few minutes to find the picture she wants, all the while muttering* “I left those kids at the park. I left those d*** kids at the park… There, this picture. Can I just crop everyone out except this one person?”

Employee: “Well, what that will do is it will still be the same size and—”

Customer: “Is there any other way we can do this?!”

Employee: “You can hook your phone up to the photo kiosk, but it will download all of your photos.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I can’t get this Internet to work. My man is going to kill me; I left those d*** kids at the park.”

Employee: “We don’t get a good connection in the store.”

Customer: “I HAVE WI-FI.”

Employee: “We don’t have Wi-Fi here.”

Customer: “YOU MEAN I’M GOING TO HAVE TO GO OUT TO MY CAR TO GET ON THE INTERNET?!”

Employee: “You probably would have better luck in the back of the parking lot, yes.”

Customer: *stomps out while muttering* “I left those kids at the park.”

(I still can’t understand what could possibly be so important about this picture that she had to leave her children at the park to go get it!)

[florida80]

Vie For A Vial
CALIFORNIA, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, JERK, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MARCH 6, 2018
(I just started working at a small, independent pharmacy. It’s located in the downtown area of a small town that is predominantly upper-middle-class families. And with that population, we get patients in that ask for a bit more specific requests than what I’m used to. I have just started and am being trained when I overhear this conversation with my technician. Note: since we are small pharmacy, profit margins are tight, so for expensive medications, we don’t open the bottles and fill them until the patient has come to pick up and paid. We pride ourselves on customer service, doing almost anything for the customer.)

Customer: “I’m here to pick up for [Customer].”

Tech: “All right, just give me a few moments to pour these bottles into the vial.”

(She is getting over 400 tablets of the medication.)

Customer: “Let me see what you’re putting it in.”

Tech: *shows the vial* “Will this one be good for you?”

Customer: “No! That one is too tall; I’m going to spill it.

Tech: *shows different vial* “What about this one?”

Customer: “No! It’s too short; I’m going to lose it.”

Tech: *shows another vial* “This one? I can fit it in two of them.”

Customer: “I don’t want to; that’s too much!”

(This repeats for a couple minutes, going over various vials, usually the same one, multiple times, the customer making up some random excuse.)

Tech: *showing her the first vial* “What about this one?”

Customer: “Yes! That one is perfect!”

(The tech finishes up putting her medications together and the patient leaves.)

Me: “How did you handle that without freaking out?”

Tech: “I was about to punch her in her face if she said no to another one of these stupid bottles.”

[florida80]

Needs To Prescribe Some Anger-Management
GERMANY, JERK, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | MARCH 3, 2018
(I work at a call centre for a German online pharmacy. Unlike other pharmacies, we allow customers to pre-order medicines which requires prescriptions. It should go without saying, but we’re not allowed to ship orders that contain a prescription, until the original is sent to us by a postal service. There are also no shipping costs for our customer, if there is a prescription.)

Me: “Your [Pharmacy]. You are speaking with [My Name].”

Customer: “I placed an order last week at your store and it still hasn’t arrived. Where is it?”

Me: “Oh, that doesn’t sound so good. Could you please tell me your order number?”

(The customer doesn’t have it, so I search for her by name. It takes me a while to find her, as she has a very common name and doesn’t want to give me her postal code.)

Me: “Ah, there we have you. I’m afraid your prescription for [Medicine] hasn’t arrived yet.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! I do not need a prescription for that order! Send them to me at once!”

(I try to stay cool.)

Me: “Ma’am, [Medicine] requires a prescription, by law. We cannot deliver this order until we have the original prescription.”

Customer: “Then you should at least have told me so!”

Me: “Our online store has classified this item as one that requires a prescription. You have also received an order confirmation that asks you for your prescription.”

Customer: “No, I never received a confirmation, so don’t dare lie to me!”

Me: “Uh… Ma’am, I do not understand; you received the confirmation on [date and time].”

Customer: “No, I never did; I’ll show you!”

(I can hear her typing and the sound of a mail program opening. She waits for a moment, and then she starts mumbling to herself.)

Customer: “’Dear Mrs. [Name], thank you for your order. Please send us your your original prescription by mail, so we can continue with that order.’”

(The customer wheezes angrily.)

Customer: “This is way too complicated with your store! Other pharmacies will send them to me immediately!”

Me: “Ma’am, even other pharmacies have to wait for your prescription, as [Medicine] requires one.”

Customer: “I will never order at your store ever again! I’ve never been insulted this badly in my entire life!”

(The customer called the next day. She made a new order without the prescription and asked if that was all right.)

[florida80]

Sarah Connor’s Pharmacy Job
BOSSES & OWNERS, CANADA, EMPLOYEES, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, JERK, ONTARIO, PHARMACY | WORKING | FEBRUARY 21, 2018
(I get a job at a small pharmacy as a cashier. The job involves a lot more than just simple cashiering, but I catch on quite quickly, and within a month the possibility of increasing my hours is discussed. The store then goes under new owners, but all the cashiers are kept on staff, and assured that their jobs are secure. Fast forward to my next shift. This takes place in July.)

Owner: “[My Name], can you come into the office for a minute? I just want to have a quick word.”

Me: “Sure!” *thinking the uniforms he ordered for us had come in*

Owner: “I’ve been thinking it over, and this really isn’t a job that can be done part-time. In order to stay up to date on all the policies and information, everyone really has to be here full-time. With all the students leaving soon to go back to school, I’ve decided that it would be easiest to let all the students go now.”

Me: “Okay…” *thinking I’m about to be offered the full-time position, as I’m not a student*

Owner: “I’m sorry; I just find it easiest to terminate people before their shift starts.”

Me: “Wait. What?”

Owner: “As of right now, you’re terminated.”

Me: “But I’m not a student.”

Owner: *shocked* “What?! You’re not?”

Me: “No. I’ve been out of high school for a few years, and am holding off on going to college.”

Owner: “Oh, nobody told me that.”

Me: “So, is there any way I could be kept on, full-time?”

Owner: “I would have to think about it.”

Me: *blank look*

Owner: “You see, I already filled the full-time positions, and filed the termination paperwork. If you want to reapply, I’ll consider rehiring you if something falls through with one of the new employees, but all but one have already accepted the job, and I already offered it to the other one.”

Me: “Okay, then. When does the termination take effect?”

Owner: “Right now. I did it now because it’s easiest to do it, and get it done within the first three months.”

(I was too shocked in the moment to say anything, but once I processed what had happened, I was — and still am — livid. How incompetent must one be to skip something so basic as reading employee files BEFORE terminating them, to ensure they’re actually being fired for a legitimate reason?)

[florida80]

Seriously Off Her Meds
BAD BEHAVIOR, BIZARRE, MASSACHUSETTS, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 14, 2018
(I’m a pharmacist at a small, but very busy, chain store. I am working the register along with one of the technicians, due to us being understaffed.)

Me: “Hi! How are you doing today, ma’am?”

Customer: “Israel!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Israel!”

(At the pharmacy register, in order to pick up a prescription, we must be provided with the first and last name, along with the date of birth.)

Me: “Is that your name, ma’am?”

Customer: “Israel!”

Me: *getting frustrated since there is a line behind her going up two aisles* “May I please have your name?”

Customer: “Israel! My name is Israel!”

Me: “Okay, thank you. May I please have your last name?”

Customer: “Israel!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I misunderstood. I thought your first name was Israel. Could I please have your first name, then?”

Customer: “Israel! My name is Israel! What do you not understand? This is ridiculous! I demand to speak to the pharmacist!”

Me: *trying not to scream* “I’m very sorry, ma’am. I am the pharmacist. I just need your first and last name in order to view your profile. Could you please give me your first name followed by your last?”

Customer: *she is now screaming at this point* “This is unbelievable!”

(She looks at the people in line behind her for support. They all give me a sympathetic look, instead.)

Customer: “From now on, I’m taking my business to [Other Retail Chain Pharmacy]!”

Me: “I’m very sorry for the inconvenience, ma’am. Could I please have your first and last name, in order to speed up the transaction? We are quite busy today.”

Customer: “Israel! My name is Israel! Israel [Last Name].”

(Now that I finally have her first and last name in the system, I am prompted with the screen that asks for the date of birth.)

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. And could I have your date of birth, please?”

Customer: “What kind of pharmacy is this?! What will you want next? My social security number?!”

Me: “That won’t be necessary, ma’am.”

(By this time, the technician at the register next to me has gone through about three patients, while I am still with this lady.)

Customer: “My birthday is [date]!”

Me: “All right, thank you. It looks like we have three prescriptions ready for you. Let me go get those for you.” *I fetch the prescriptions and finish the transaction fairly normally* “All right, ma’am. Before you leave, do you have any questions about the medications?”

Customer: “Yes. I would like to speak to the pharmacist!”

Me: “I am the pharmacist, ma’am.”

Customer: “No, you’re not!”

Me: “I can assure you that I am, in fact, the pharmacist, ma’am.”

Customer: *all disgruntled* “Well… Well… I want to speak to the pharmacist who was here yesterday! Where is he?!”

Me: “That was our other pharmacist.”

Customer: “Well, I demand to speak to him! Go fetch him!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. He isn’t here today.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I have nothing but trouble at this store!”

Me: “I’m sorry that you feel that way, ma’am. I can answer any questions that you have about the medication, though.”

Customer: “No! I’ll just die! No one can tell me how to take this medication! You don’t even have a pharmacist here! I’m going to die because of your incompetence!”

Me: “Ma’am, as I’ve said, I am the pharmacist, and I would be more than happy to walk you through the proper way to take your medications. If you would like, you can come back tomorrow, too, and the other pharmacist will be here.”

Customer: “Fine! Show me, since you think I’m too stupid to take my own medications!”

Me: “I never said you were too stupid, ma’am.”

Customer: “Yes, you did! But whatever. Show me!”

(I instructed the lady on how to take her medications, and she finally walked away. Shortly after, the store manager came down to the pharmacy asking what happened. I asked what he was referring to and he stated that a lady was complaining that I “verbally and mentally abused her.”)

[florida80]

Stop And Think For A Period
HOBART, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PHARMACY, TASMANIA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 5, 2018
(In Australia, purchasing certain medications requires the cashier, by law, to ascertain for whom the medication is intended and whether or not they’ve used the medication before. It’s about half an hour before closing time and it’s been a busy day, so I’m running on autopilot, when a man comes up to the counter.)

Male Customer: “Can I have some [period pain medication], please?”

Me: “Sure. That’s just for yourself, and you’ve used it before?”

[florida80]

Not Banking On That Pharmacy
JERK, MONEY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | JANUARY 31, 2018
(I work in a regional pharmacy and convenience store chain. One of the services we offer is check cashing, but with a hefty fee, since we are not a bank. The minimum fee is $3, and it shifts to 2% of the check for any amount over $150. The fee is automatically deducted from the check total, and we give the customer the difference. A woman comes in on a Sunday afternoon, demanding we cash her check. Instead of going to customer service, she heads to the pharmacy counter and tries to give them her check. The head pharmacist calls down to me that I will have a customer soon.)

Me: “Hello! You want a check cashed?”

(The customer, an elderly woman, pushes the check at me with a humph.)

Customer: “Yes, that one. My daughter is in town from DC, and I have to take her out to dinner.”

Me: *punching in the check total to get the fee amount* “All right, the fee for check cashing is 2% of the check, so for $259.50, it’s going to be a $5.19 fee.”

Customer: “You’re kidding! Well! This is the last time I do this; I’m pulling out all my prescriptions!”

Me: *thinking that’s a weird knee-jerk reaction* “Okay. Did you still want to cash this check?”

Customer: “Well, yes! I have to take my daughter out to dinner! She came up here from DC! This is ridiculous; I want to talk to a manager! You don’t do this to loyal customers. I’m going to pull out all my prescriptions, and I have a lot!”

(I page the manager while she fumes, repeatedly going back to her prescriptions and how she is going to take them all out first thing tomorrow morning. The manager walks in, and she starts berating him, too.)

Customer: “I have been a customer here for years. You don’t charge loyal customers $5 for cashing checks! I’m going to pull out my prescriptions!”

Manager: “That’s not our fee; the check cashing company sets that. It’s the fee they charge for using their services.”

(The customer humphs for a bit while the manager goes through the procedure, which is tedious and done on a separate machine. She goes silent for a moment before perking back up, turning to me while pointing at the manager.)

Customer: “No! Who’s above him? Who’s the highest manager?!”

Manager: “The store manager.”

Customer: “And who is that?”

Me: “[Store Manager].”

Customer: “Is he here?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Is he here tomorrow?!”

Manager: “Yes, [Store Manager] will be in tomorrow.”

Customer: “Good! I’m going to get my money back and pull out all my prescriptions!”

(We hand her the keypad to put in her social security number, and she acts like it’s the most complex device she’s ever used. It’s a nine-digit keypad with a green button and a red button. All you have to do is type the number, hit the green button, type the number again for confirmation, and hit the green button again. It takes a lot of prodding, interspersed with, “What do I do now?!” We also have to key in her driver’s license, the confirmation code from the receipt, the state, the day of the transaction, and so forth.)

Customer: “Why is this taking so long?!“

Me: “It’s a process. We have to go through extra steps and security, since we aren’t a bank.”

Customer: “Well, who do I talk to about pulling out my prescriptions?”

Me: “The pharmacy.”

(She goes strangely quiet after that, letting us complete the transaction with minor grumbling. I count out the amount of the check, minus the fee, making sure I am on camera as I do. I proceed to lay it flat on the counter to show her while I count it again, but she snatches it from me.)

Customer: “No! I’ll count it! I can’t wait to come in tomorrow and talk to your manager! I’m going to pull out all my prescriptions!”

(She finally takes her money and storms off. The head pharmacist pokes his head in.)

Pharmacist: “So, how’d that go?”

(I relay the whole story and he just laughs, shaking his head. He goes on to tell me how she’s been a chronic pain in the pharmacy’s neck for years.)

Pharmacist: “She always says that. If I had a dollar for every time she threatened to pull out her prescriptions, I’d be a lot closer to retirement.”

[florida80]

At Least It’s Still Just A Penny For Your Thoughts
MONEY, OVERHEARD, PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 24, 2018
(I am in line waiting to pick up a prescription. The customer at the register is taking longer than usual. The worker tells him to step to the side while they try to sort out the problem. I overhear this between the man who is picking up the prescription and his friend.)

Friend: “It’s only three dollars.”

Man: “I ain’t got that kind of money. Do you know anybody with that kind of money? These is crazy times we live in.”

[florida80]

Going For The Condom Minimum
BIZARRE, GROCERY STORE, MISSOURI, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 22, 2018
(A woman comes up to our night cashier.)

Customer: “I need assistance at the pharmacy case.”

(The cashier pages me to the pharmacy case, as I’m the only one with the key after the pharmacist leaves. I arrive at the case.)

Me: “What items do you need?”

Customer: *hesitates for a moment* “I need condoms.”

Me: *opens the case* “You’re welcome to pick out any of the boxes that you’d like.”

(She picks up a few different boxes, shakes each one, then sets it back down. Then, she turns to me and asks:)

Customer: “Do you know which one of these feels the best for guys?”

Me: *more confused than surprised by the question* “I’m sorry. I’m afraid I can’t help you there.”

Customer: “Do you know which one fits best, then?”

Me: “I can’t help you with that. I’ve never used any of those.”

Customer: *exasperated sigh* “Oh, well. Better safe than sorry.”

(She put the condoms down, grabbed a pregnancy test, and walked away without another word.)

[florida80]

Hey, Google, What Kind Of Cancer Do I Have?
CONNECTICUT, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 18, 2018
(I stop in a pharmacy to pick up some medication. I hear the following from a lady next to me.)

Woman: “I want to buy this!”

(She points at medicine on the shelf behind the pharmacist.)

Pharmacist: “That’s prescription medication. You can’t buy that. I’m sorry.”

Woman: “I NEED IT!”

Pharmacist: “Okay, well, we still can’t give you the medication. You need a prescription.”

Woman: “No! WEBMD SAID I HAVE CANCER AND I NEED THIS!”

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, I recommend you see your doctor before you get a self-diagnosis off of the Internet.”

Woman: “You’re a doctor! And I KNOW I HAVE CANCER!”

Pharmacist: “Actually, I’m not a—”

Woman: “YOU ALL WANT ME TO DIE OF CANCER! I AM REPORTING YOU TO THE POLICE!”

(She then proceeds to run out of the store, knocking down several displays and screaming “I NEED PENICILLIN! I HAVE CANCER!”)

Me: *mumbling* “How does she think penicillin will cure cancer, anyway?”

Pharmacist: “That’s not even penicillin.”

[florida80]

That’s What I (N)Said
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | JANUARY 14, 2018
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

Customer: *holding a box of OTC medication* “Excuse me. My wife is allergic to the Niacide family.”

Me: “Pardon? Do you mean NSAIDs?”

Customer: “No! NIACIDES!”

(I give him a puzzled look.)

Customer: “You know, ibuprofen and stuff!”

Me: “Right… NSAIDs.”

Customer: “Oh, whatever. Can she take this or not?”

(Then he showed me a box of acetaminophen.)

[florida80]

Benzo Combo No No
PHARMACY, USA, VIRGINIA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 11, 2018
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(I work in a popular chain pharmacy/convenience store as a pharmacy technician. It is a week before Christmas and patients are swarming in to get medications refilled before they depart for the holidays. I’m currently working at a prescription filling station that is directly across from where the pharmacist verifies them, allowing us to talk as we work. Another technician takes in a couple of prescriptions and preps them for data entry; however, when the pharmacist spots them, he immediately sees a problem.)

Pharmacist: “Whoa, I am not filling this.”

Other Technician: “Why, what’s up?”

Pharmacist: “This drug combo, carisoprodol, benzo, and an opiate…”

Me: “Bad combo?”

Pharmacist: “It’s outright lethal. I need to speak with the patient.”

(We try to page the patient back to the pharmacy via the store intercom, but it appears that they’ve already left. The pharmacist decides to contact the doctor who prescribed the drug trio to alert them to the potentially fatal consequences. He immediately identifies this doctor as being a sketchy one that he has dealt with in the past. Nonetheless, he steels himself for the call and gets him on the line.)

Pharmacist: “Hi, I’m calling because of a couple of prescriptions that you’ve prescribed for [Patient]. When taken together these drugs are a potentially lethal combo. I wanted to see if perhaps we could if we could get the carisoprodol switched to, say Flexeril.”

Doctor: “There’s been no issues in the past.”

Pharmacist: “Right… but you are aware that is THE Unholy Trinity of drugs, correct? If nothing has happened previously then great, but all it takes is a single time or misstep and the patient is going to die. I highly suggest a switch here.”

Doctor: “I don’t want to do that.”

Pharmacist: *blinks* “So, just so we’re on the same page, you want to knowingly prescribe this potentially deadly combo to the patient, rather than switching?”

Doctor: “I’ve already discussed it with the patient. It’s fine.”

Pharmacist: “Okay, well, I’m going to notify the patient of your decision and make them aware of what’s going on here. I need to cover my bases.”

Doctor: “All right, sure.”

(The pharmacist was shocked by the nonchalant nature of the doctor, but decided to follow his gut instinct and not fill all three scripts. While there are noted instances of patients taking these drugs together, they are few and far between, and the benefits do not outweigh the risks; finally, the sketchy nature of the doctor meant that the pharmacist was less than comfortable doing so. He notified the patient of the situation (who seemed more disappointed with the fact that we wouldn’t fill all three drugs than with the fact that the combo was lethal) and wrote a note on the prescription stating that it was denied as well as our contact number should the patient try to have it filled elsewhere.)

[florida80]

Benzo Combo No No
PHARMACY, USA, VIRGINIA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 11, 2018
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(I work in a popular chain pharmacy/convenience store as a pharmacy technician. It is a week before Christmas and patients are swarming in to get medications refilled before they depart for the holidays. I’m currently working at a prescription filling station that is directly across from where the pharmacist verifies them, allowing us to talk as we work. Another technician takes in a couple of prescriptions and preps them for data entry; however, when the pharmacist spots them, he immediately sees a problem.)

Pharmacist: “Whoa, I am not filling this.”

Other Technician: “Why, what’s up?”

Pharmacist: “This drug combo, carisoprodol, benzo, and an opiate…”

Me: “Bad combo?”

Pharmacist: “It’s outright lethal. I need to speak with the patient.”

(We try to page the patient back to the pharmacy via the store intercom, but it appears that they’ve already left. The pharmacist decides to contact the doctor who prescribed the drug trio to alert them to the potentially fatal consequences. He immediately identifies this doctor as being a sketchy one that he has dealt with in the past. Nonetheless, he steels himself for the call and gets him on the line.)

Pharmacist: “Hi, I’m calling because of a couple of prescriptions that you’ve prescribed for [Patient]. When taken together these drugs are a potentially lethal combo. I wanted to see if perhaps we could if we could get the carisoprodol switched to, say Flexeril.”

Doctor: “There’s been no issues in the past.”

Pharmacist: “Right… but you are aware that is THE Unholy Trinity of drugs, correct? If nothing has happened previously then great, but all it takes is a single time or misstep and the patient is going to die. I highly suggest a switch here.”

Doctor: “I don’t want to do that.”

Pharmacist: *blinks* “So, just so we’re on the same page, you want to knowingly prescribe this potentially deadly combo to the patient, rather than switching?”

Doctor: “I’ve already discussed it with the patient. It’s fine.”

Pharmacist: “Okay, well, I’m going to notify the patient of your decision and make them aware of what’s going on here. I need to cover my bases.”

Doctor: “All right, sure.”

(The pharmacist was shocked by the nonchalant nature of the doctor, but decided to follow his gut instinct and not fill all three scripts. While there are noted instances of patients taking these drugs together, they are few and far between, and the benefits do not outweigh the risks; finally, the sketchy nature of the doctor meant that the pharmacist was less than comfortable doing so. He notified the patient of the situation (who seemed more disappointed with the fact that we wouldn’t fill all three drugs than with the fact that the combo was lethal) and wrote a note on the prescription stating that it was denied as well as our contact number should the patient try to have it filled elsewhere.)

[florida80]

Who Prescribed Some Madness?
ENGLAND, PHARMACY, UK | HEALTHY | JANUARY 4, 2018
(We have a new member of staff at the pharmacy and we’ve got a number of regulars who come in to get their weekly medications, often quite a few items. This employee somehow gets it into her head that anyone with a weekly prescription is a drug abuser. One of our regulars is on a lot of different pain medications.)

Regular: “Good morning! I’m here to pick up my prescriptions. My name is [Regular].”

(The new staff member goes out to the back of the store and comes back out a few minutes later.)

New Staff: “No, there isn’t anything.”

Regular: “I pick this up every week, and I know I have at least three months’ worth of repeats for all these from the doctor.”

New Staff: “No. No, we have nothing.”

Regular: *spotting our pharmacist who knows her very well* “Hi, [Pharmacist]! Got my weekly meds?”

Pharmacist: “Oh, yeah. I did them yesterday—”

New Staff: “No! No, you didn’t. We have nothing!” *to Regular* “You need to leave; we have nothing for you!”

Pharmacist: “Don’t be daft. I’ll go fetch them.” *heads to the back and comes out with a large bag* “Can I just check your address and date of birth?”

Regular: *gives details*

Pharmacist: “Yup, here you go. See you next week!”

New Staff: “I told her we had nothing! Why did you make me look like a liar?!”

Pharmacist: “Because you were lying? [Regular] comes in every week and I always have her meds done.”

New Staff: “I saw what she’s on. She’s a f****** druggie. You shouldn’t enable these people.”

Regular: “I beg your pardon?”

Pharmacist: “Okay, we do not treat customers like that. Whatever personal views you have on certain medications, you leave those views at home.”

New Staff: “She’s a druggie. Why would anyone else need [strong pain medication]?”

Regular: “Because half my lower spine was smashed in an accident and I live in constant, agonising pain?”

New Staff: “Shut up, druggie.”

Pharmacist: “Right. That’s it. Go home.”

(She was fired that day, and officially cautioned by the police when for two weeks afterward she kept hanging around the pharmacy entrance waiting for our regular customer so she could yell at them some more. We know this because she told EVERY other customer entering our store. Luckily, our regular has a good sense of humour and just laughed off the whole episode.)

[florida80]

At A Hair-Loss For Words
FINLAND, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | JANUARY 3, 2018
(The men in my family tend to start suffering from hair loss in their mid-20s, and mine seems to have started, so I go to a nearby pharmacy to buy certain shampoo recommended by my stepfather. Note that I have grown my hair for a few years and it’s currently some 18 to 20 inches long.)

Employee: “Hello, can I help you with anything?”

Me: “Yes, I was looking for certain shampoo but don’t remember the name of the product.”

Employee: “What kind of shampoo? For dry hair, or–”

Me: “For hair loss.”

Employee: *goes silent and stares at my long hair, then grabs a bottle off a shelf* “Well, we have this one.”

Me: “That’s the product; thank you!”

(I only realized what had happened after I got back home.)

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #102197 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=102197)
AUSTRALIA, MELBOURNE, PHARMACY | UNFILTERED | DECEMBER 27, 2017
(The centre has lost power but we are still trading, doing everything manually)

Customer: “Can i have my repeat?”

Me: “I’m sorry but as i said, we have lost power and are able to print repeats but we will mail it out to you once the power comes back”

Customer: “But i want my repeat”

Me: “I’m sorry but we can’t print it”

(The customer rolls their eyes then proceedes to the checkout where we clearly state “Cash only” because of the power outage)

Customer: “I want to pay by card.”

Co worker: “I’m sorry but we have no power so we can’t use EFTPOS”

Customer: “But I want to pay by card”

Co worker: “I’m sorry, but the power is out so we can’t use the ETFPOS.”

Customer: “But I WANT to pay by card. Why did you cut the power on me. Put it back on”

Co worker: “We didn’t cut the power. The whole centre is out of power. We aren’t sure when the power will come back.”

Customer: “Well that’s your problem.”

(The customer storms off, without getting their items)

[florida80]

Obviously Not Stressing It Enough
OREGON, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 26, 2017
(My doctor has prescribed me a four-month supply of a new medicine, to see if it will help with my migraines. I get it filled for the first two months at my local pharmacy without a problem, but the third month I am told I have to call my insurance to sort out a problem. After fighting my way through the automated system and identifying myself:)

Me: “My pharmacy told me that I need to call you about one of my meds.”

Operator: “Yes, it looks like that has been flagged as a ‘maintenance medication’ in our system, so it can only be filled at a regular pharmacy twice. After that it needs to be filled as a three-month supply via mail order.”

(This is news to me, but then again, it is a new insurance plan, so I am not that familiar with it.)

Me: “Okay, but I only have two more months on this medication; my doctor just gave me a four-month script to see if it works for me.”

Operator: “Yes, you just need to get set up on our online system to get it in a three-month supply.”

Me: “That’s the problem: I don’t have three months left on it. Can I get a two-month supply?”

Operator: No, it has to be a three-month supply because it is a ‘maintenance medication.'”

Me: “But I only have two more months on this prescription; it’s a trial to see if it works.”

Operator: “That’s fine; just get set up on our online system and you can get a three-month supply from now on.”

Me: “No, I can’t. I probably won’t be on this that long, and my prescription is only for two more months. Are you saying I need to go to my doctor and get a new three-month prescription in order to fill my last two months?”

Operator: “No, you keep the same prescription; just order a three-month supply online. Do you need the website address?”

Me: “No, I think I need a new prescription, because mine is only for another two months.”

Operator: “No, it must be three months.”

Me: “So, I need to get a new prescription from my doctor for three-months’ worth, or stop taking it now?”

Operator: “No, just enter your prescription online and select ‘three-month supply.'”

Me: “But I don’t have three months left on this medication.”

Operator: *sighs loudly* “I can give you a one-time exception to pick up this month from your pharmacy, but after that you really need to start getting it in a three-month supply via mail order.”

(I decided three months would have to be enough of a trial on that medication; it wasn’t working anyway, and that phone call to get more definitely triggered a stress migraine.)

[florida80]

The Tale Is In The Yelling
ALABAMA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 25, 2017
(I’m at a local pharmacy. Twenty minutes ago I dropped off a prescription and now I am picking it up.)

Pharmacist: “Yes, sir?”

Me: “Prescription for [My Name]?”

Pharmacist: “It’s not ready yet, but it should be in just a few minutes.”

Me: “Sure, that’s fine.”

(I go and sit down in the waiting area. The pharmacist walks over to another employee and whispers something to her, which I happen to overhear:)

Pharmacist: “Can you believe it? He actually didn’t yell at

[florida80]

A Prescription By Any Other Name
PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 21, 2017
(I go to my local pharmacy to drop off a prescription. As most pharmacies are, it is very busy with a full waiting area and they tell me there will be a wait for my medication. I browse the store for a while until I hear my name called over the intercom, and then get back in line to pick up the prescription. An elderly man who is also waiting for a prescription gets up from his chair and approaches me.)

Patient: “Are you Veronica? They just called a Veronica; are you her?”

(They definitely did not just call anyone named Veronica, and my name sounds nothing like Veronica, although they both do end in the letter ‘A.’)

Me: “Uh, no, sir, I’m not Veronica but my prescription is ready.”

Patient: “Well, if you’re not Veronica then your prescription is not ready so get out of line and wait like the rest of us!”

Me: “Sir, they called my name and I am going to pick up my prescription. Even if they didn’t I’m not cutting anyone in line or making anyone else wait longer, so please don’t shout at me.”

(At this point he started telling the whole waiting room that I was not Veronica and I was trying to steal Veronica’s prescription, but he was actually speaking very calmly so no one really paid him any mind. They called me up to the desk and I got my medication, and let them know the man seemed slightly agitated and might need some help. As I was leaving I heard him arguing with the pharmacy technician, saying “But she’s NOT VERONICA!”)

[florida80]

Honesty Is Always The Best Medicine
ENGLAND, PHARMACY, UK | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 14, 2017
(I am waiting patiently for a prescription to be filled in a quiet pharmacy.)

Pharmacist: “Found it; here you go!”

Me: *takes bagged item* “Thanks.”

Pharmacist: “No problem, bye!”

Me: “Uhh… I still need to pay for this.”

Pharmacist: “Oh! I’m so sorry. Thank you for your honesty.” *rings up the transaction*

Me: “Well, not that I would anyway, but it would be kind of stupid for me to run off, seeing as you know exactly who I am and where I live.” *gestures to my address printed on the bag*

Pharmacist: “You wouldn’t believe what some people try.”

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #101515 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=101515)
NORTH CAROLINA, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | DECEMBER 8, 2017
(I work at a pharmacy. It’s just me and two other people today, so I am in charge of customer initial contact.)

Me: *standing at the computer, hears heavy breathing come my way from the other side of the store*

Customer: *leans in the counter exhausted and breathing heavy* “Hey, hold on let me rest right quick.” *breathing heavy and sweating and smells like wet dog*

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “Can I get my pain pills filled?”

Me: “Yeah, I can get it filled.”

(My manager immediately comes over.)

Manager: “Ma’am, you’re not allowed in this store. I watched you stealing just last week.”

Customer: *appalled* “It wasn’t me, it was my daughter. She looks exactly like me with her hair tied up.”

Manager: “Ma’am, I watched YOU steal it. Your daughter came to you to ask to take it and you put it in your purse.”

Customer: “I’m going to kick her a**! The same thing happened to me at the other store; it is always happening to me.”

(She walks out cursing while all three of us are watching her leave to make sure she doesn’t go off.)

Me: “If you keep getting caught, stop stealing. Easy fix.”

Manager: “She is an a** anyway.”

[florida80]

Acting Narcotic Robotic
NORTH CAROLINA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 5, 2017
(I have an invisible chronic illness, Chronic Pancreatitis, that was caused by complications from gallbladder surgery a few years back. I am on tons of medication on a daily basis just so I can function normally and work a demanding full-time job. One of these medications is a narcotic; because of the multitudes who abuse it, a lot of judgement is passed on those who legitimately need it.)

Me: “Hi there! Just need to get this filled.”

(I hand my prescription over to a pharmacist that I don’t recognize. These prescriptions are very specific for when you can fill them, and are dated accordingly. Everything on mine is legit, as I literally just left the doctor’s office.)

Pharmacist: *takes a long time to look at it, and keeps looking back up at me* “Are you sure it’s time to fill this again?”

Me: “Um… Well, yeah. I just picked that up from my doctor, and the fill date is listed. You can also check your system, because this is the only pharmacy I use.”

(The pharmacist gives me a weird look and says it’ll be ten minutes, so I go sit down to wait. A few minutes later I hear her on the phone, and I don’t really pay any attention until I hear her say my name. Turns out she is calling my doctor’s office to verify it, the whole time shooting nasty sideways looks at me. Okay, totally fine; I know they have to be careful and check these things, so I brush it off. A couple minutes later when I walk up to the counter to pick it up:)

Pharmacist: “You know, this stuff is really bad for you. You shouldn’t be taking this.”

Me: *stunned* “Well, it helps me stay upright so I can work. Haha.”

Pharmacist: “My sister was on this and it was horrible. I would have to tell her all the time about how bad it was and that she had to get off of it, and she was addicted. It was really bad and she had such a hard time. You shouldn’t be taking this!”

Me: “Well, I’m going to let my doctor decide that. Can I check out now, please?”

(I understand how many people get hooked on narcotics, and the rising epidemic in this country, but they do have benefits that people like myself need. I don’t even think this lady was worried about the bigger social issue; I think she just got it into her head that it was a horrible medication from her bad experience with her sister. I’m sorry, lady; you are a pharmacist who should know better, and until you gain your medical doctorate and start practicing gastroenterology, keep your opinions about my treatment to yourself!)

[florida80]

Cancer Is A Crime
CALIFORNIA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 28, 2017
(I’ve been diagnosed with cancer and am on numerous medications, including morphine and oxycodone for the pain I am in. I’m pretty skinny and pale and not looking healthy after six months of chemotherapy. I go to my normal pharmacy with my paper prescription to get filled and a new pharmacy tech, or at least one I’ve never seen in the six months I’ve frequented this place, greets me. I hand him my paperwork, and he starts to type in into his computer, and then looks at me and says:)

Pharmacy Tech: “I see you’ve been getting these pills for a few months now, and you’re refilling them on the same date every month. You can’t fill this if you’re just going to sell them on the street for your drug money.”

(My jaw drops, and he hands my prescription back to me.)

Pharmacy Tech: “I’m calling the police now, sir, so don’t run off.”

(He then goes to the phone and starts dialing. The pharmacist sees me through their little window and waves at me, I see her a lot when I’m there and she’s helped consult me on the timing of taking my meds so I don’t make myself sick. I wave her over.)

Pharmacist: “Hi!”

Me: “You may want to talk to your new guy. He’s calling the cops on me.”

(She turns around and sees him on the phone.)

Pharmacist: “What are you doing?”

Pharmacy Tech: *covers the receiver* “This junkie is trying to get pills to sell. I’m calling the cops.”

(She rips the phone out of his hand and yells at him.)

Pharmacist: “He has cancer, you idiot!”

(He went pale. She sent him away and hung up the phone. I got my refills, and I never saw that guy again.)

[florida80]

Digger-ing Yourself Into A Hole
PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 28, 2017
(I am at the pharmacy to pick up a prescription that was called in.)

Tech: “Can I help you?”

Me: “I need to pick up for [Last Name].”

Tech: *types into computer* “First name?”

Me: “Digger.”

Tech: “Digger?”

Me: “Yes.”

(The tech give me a funny look and goes into the back. He returns with the medicine in hand.)

Tech: “So, you can’t drive while taking this. Also, you cannot drink alcohol while taking this. I will need you to sign saying you understand those restrictions.”

Me: *laughing* “No problem.”

Tech: “I need a date of birth.”

Me: “October 2015. I don’t know the day.”

Tech: “You don’t know your child’s birthdate?”

Me: “It’s not my child.”

Tech: “I’m not going to be able to fill this.”

Me: “I need the pharmacist. Now.”

(The pharmacist comes out and asks what the problem is.)

Tech: “She’s picking up this medicine but she doesn’t know the birthdate and then she says it isn’t her child.”

Pharmacist: *takes bag and reads label* “Look at this name.”

(The tech looks and still doesn’t seem to understand.)

Pharmacist: “The patient is named Digger K9 [Last Name]. That means it’s for her dog. Lots of people don’t know their dog’s birthday.”

Tech: “How was I supposed to know?”

Pharmacist: “I’ll finish this. Go wait in the office for me.”

(When I went to get his refill, the same tech handled the transaction. He commented that it was a really big dose for a toddler. Pretty sure whatever the pharmacist said — it didn’t help.)

[florida80]

Graduated Up To A Personalized Service
PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 23, 2017
(I am picking up my medicine and in order to do so, you must give your name and birth date, including year.)

Clerk: “Name?”

Me: “[My Name].”

Clerk: “Birthday?”

Me: “[Date].”

Clerk: “That’s the same day I graduated. To the day.”

Me: “And year. Next time you ask, I’m just going to say, ‘the exact day you graduated.’”

[florida80]

The Sad Estate Of This Family
PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 22, 2017
(I work at a long-term care pharmacy. We service patients in nursing homes, assisted living, etc. and bill prescription costs monthly. Of course, this means we have trouble with people not paying their bill. Part of my job is to make collections calls. I hear all kinds of excuses, but this was a first.)

Man: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] calling from [Pharmacy]. Is [Person #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] available?”

Man: “Nope, he’s in jail over in [County].”

Me: *not sure how to respond* “I’m sorry to hear that… I also have [Person #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] listed as an authorized contact. May I speak with her?”

Man: “Nope, can’t talk to her either. She’s dead.”

Me: *now REALLY not sure how to respond* “I’m sorry to hear that, too. I’m calling in reference to [Patient]’s account. Who could I speak with that handles [Patient]’s finances?”

Man: “Not him. He’s dead now, too. His wife’s still living but she’s got ‘all-timers’ disease so she won’t be much help.”

Me: *basically at a loss for words at this point* “There must be someone handling [Patient]’s estate. Who would that be?”

Man: “Couldn’t tell you. The only one I know of that’s not dead, locked up, or crazy is [Person #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) ]. She’s probably the best you’re going to get.”

(Turned out [Person #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) ] was extremely nice and helpful, and promptly sent a check for the full balance. She must have been the shining star in a family of “dead, locked up, and crazy!”)

[florida80]

Making Sure You All (Co)Pay Dearly
MONEY, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 22, 2017
(I work at a long-term care pharmacy. We bill prescriptions monthly, and always get angry phone calls a few days after statements go out.)

Me: “[Pharmacy], this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Angry Man: “What kind of scam are you all running out there?”

Me: “Sir?”

Angry Man: “Do you think you’re going to get away with charging these outrageous prices? I should report you for robbery!”

Me: “If you have questions about any charges, I’d be happy to explain them to you.”

Angry Man: “As a matter of fact you can! I’d like to know why you’re charging me $50 for a month’s worth of [medication]!”

(I pull up the claim and go through my normal spiel of how we submit a claim to the insurance company, they respond with how much they’ll pay and how much of a copay we need to collect from the patient, and how we have no influence over the cost of the copay, as this is determined by the plan, etc.)

Angry Man: “Well then, how come I can go to [Other Pharmacy] and get three months’ worth for $150?”

Me: “Sir, that’s the same price.”

Angry Man: “You’re trying to tell me that $50 and $150 are the same thing? How stupid can you be to have your job?”

Me: *remembering to be professional and not sarcastic* “No, sir. I’m telling you that $50 for a 30 day supply and $150 for a 90 day supply is exactly the same price.”

Angry Man: “I can’t pay $50 every month for one prescription! I’ll go broke! I’m going to be using [Other Pharmacy] from now on so I can get more for a decent price! And I’m going up to [Nursing Home] and telling everyone there that you’re robbing them!”

Me: *slowly losing professionalism* “You have the right to use whatever pharmacy you like. If you feel the need to tell them that, I can’t stop you. But if they can do basic math, they’ll realize that copays are no different with us than they are anywhere else.”

Angry Man: “I know the tactics you people use to try to confuse me. You talk over my head hoping I’ll give up and pay your ridiculous price! You’re not going to fool me. I’m no dumb-a**!”

(At this point I was contemplating whether it would be worth the complaint I’d get if I said “Well, sir, you certainly could’ve fooled me,” but he slammed the phone down, making my decision for me. People are unbelievably dumb!)

1 Thumbs
419
Share on FacebookShare on Reddit
0

[florida80]

Hoping It Was Some Off-Brand Humor
HEALTH & BODY, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PHARMACY, UK | WORKING | NOVEMBER 20, 2017
(My mother has recently moved to a new area. Unfortunately, a week after moving she gets a bad bout of thrush. She goes to the local parade of shops where she has been told there is a pharmacy. Behind the counter is a younger woman dressed in the white coat of a pharmacist.)

Mother: *quietly, as she’s a little embarrassed* “Hello, I was wondering if I could buy some clotrimazole?”

Cashier: “Sorry, madam, I didn’t quite catch that. What were you after?”

Mother: “Clotrimazole, please?”

(The cashier is looking very confused at this point.)

Cashier: “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that.”

Mother: “Clotrimazole, generic [Brand]?”

(The cashier at this point turns to her older colleague. My mother is getting frustrated as she is already embarrassed, and thrush is a fairly common problem, so she should be aware of at least the branded version.)

Older Colleague: “[Brand]? I don’t believe I’m familiar with that.”

Younger Cashier: “Is it for cats or dogs?”

(My mother just turned and walked out, too embarrassed to explain. The pharmacy was next door!)

[florida80]

Vets Need To Vet Their Pharmacists
NEW YORK, PHARMACY, USA, VET | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 17, 2017
(I take my sick dog to the vet and they don’t have the medicine he needs, so they send me to a store to pick it up from their pharmacy.)

Me: “Hi, I’m here to pick up medicine for my dog.”

Rep: “What’s the name?”

Me: “Well, my name is [My Name], but my dog is named Austin.”

Rep: “The medicine is for Austin? What’s Austin’s date of birth?”

Me: “I honestly don’t know what they would have for that; he is a rescue.”

Rep: “Do you have a phone number for Austin?”

Me: “My number is [number].”

Rep: “I don’t need your number. I need the patient’s number.”

Me: “He’s a golden retriever. He doesn’t have a number.”

Rep: “Look, I need information or I can’t give you anything. I can’t even find the prescription.”

Me: “It was called in by [Vet Hospital, with ‘Veterinary’ in the name].”

(The rep yells to the people behind him:)

Rep: “Did we get a call from a [Vet Hospital, but without the word ‘Veterinary’]?”

(I try to correct him, but he brushes me off and the other employees tell him no.)

Rep: “Look, try talking to someone at the drop off window. Right now, you can’t prove you even have a prescription.”

Me: “I don’t have a prescription, but my dog, Austin, does from his veterinarian.”

(The rep glares at me and points to the drop off window. I go over.)

Me: “Hi, I’m here to pick up medicine for my dog, Austin, that my veterinarian called in.”

Drop-Off Pharmacist: “I have that here. What’s your phone number so I can verify?” *I provide it* “Okay, our customer service rep at the main register will check you out.”

(I get back in the first line with the same rep.)

Rep: “What’s this? They found it? Well, I still need you to verify Austin’s information, or call him to get it.”

Me: “Again, Austin is a dog. See? The medicine is listed for veterinary; there’s even a picture of a dog on the package.”

Rep: “Okay, you need to talk to the pharmacist.”

(He puts the medicine on the back counter. I wait five minutes and the pharmacist comes out.)

Pharmacist: “What questions do you have?”

Me: “None, actually. The vet said just to give him a pill twice a day.”

Pharmacist: “Okay. [Rep], why did you call me up?”

Rep: “Is it even legal to give this to her? She doesn’t have the patient’s information.”

Pharmacist: “The patient is a dog. It’s fine.”

Rep: “A dog? Who needs medicine for a dog? Whatever, here.”

(He hands me the bag with the medication.)

Me: “I haven’t paid.”

Rep: “Yeah, you did; I rang you out.”

Me: “No.”

Pharmacist: “This wasn’t paid for. Let me personally ring you out over here. I’m going to write down my information and the name of the other employee who helped you. If you have any questions, comments, or complaints, please send them to this email address. Please send them. We need to have a certain number of complaints before we can let an employee go.”

[florida80]

Enough To Make You Slap Your Forehead
PHARMACY, SWEDEN | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 15, 2017
(I work at a pharmacy. A patient is complaining about a spray she had bought a couple of days ago.)

Patient: “It did absolutely not work! It is a nasal spray for sinusitis! Since it contains cortisone, it should work!”

Me: “How do you use it?”

(I ask, since the biggest problem with stuff like this is that you usually use maybe too little, too much, or just plain wrong. She looks at me, a little offended.)

Patient: *sounding annoyed* “Well, I use it as the description says! Two sprays once a day!”

(I think long and hard about how it couldn’t have made any difference for her.)

Patient: “Besides, it gets so messy, and it doesn’t dry quickly at all!”

Me: *can’t wrap my brains about what she meant* “Can you please explain?”

(She took out the spray with a annoyed sigh and held it up against her forehead. She had used the nasal spray on her forehead. I tried my absolute hardest not to laugh and explained as professionally as I could that the spray for sinusitis is to be sprayed in your nose, and not on your forehead.)

[florida80]

You’ve Got Things Back To Front
CANADA, MANITOBA, PHARMACY, WINNIPEG | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 8, 2017
(At our pharmacy we have cashiers who run the till when customers pick up their prescriptions. The cashiers have no pharmacy school education. A woman is picking up an antibiotic for a urinary tract infection.)

Customer: *in a loud voice* “I keep getting these urinary tract infections!”

Cashier: *awkwardly* “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

Customer: *still very loud* “Do you think it’s because I wipe from back to front? They say you shouldn’t but I’ve done it all my life!”

Cashier: *trying very hard to remain professional* “Er… I really couldn’t say.”

(Meanwhile the rest of the staff are trying very hard not to laugh out loud.)

[florida80]

“Good Morning” – There’s An App For That
CALIFORNIA, JERK, PHARMACY, STRANGERS, USA | FRIENDLY | NOVEMBER 4, 2017
(I’m at the pharmacy in my doctor’s office with my mom. I’m 26, and my mom is in her late 50s. We are waiting for my name to be called, chatting and doing work on our phones, when a man who seems to be in his late 50s to mid 60s approaches us.)

Man: “Excuse me, ladies.” *sounding affronted* “You put those down now!”

Mom: “What?”

Man: “If you’re on those, then you won’t be able to say, ‘Good morning.’”

Me: “Good morning.”

(He nodded and walked off, looking smug. My mom and I shared a look. It irked us that he thought he could make insinuating comments to strangers like that, as if we were being totally frivolous and inattentive to people around us just because we were using our phones. For sure, people use them more than they should, but why does that give you the right to police others’ phone use? It was patronizing and totally weird.)

[florida80]

Failed The Pregnancy Test
HEALTH & BODY, JERK, LGBTQ, PHARMACY, UK | WORKING | NOVEMBER 1, 2017
(I’m picking up a prescription along with a couple of purchases.)

Cashier: “Here you are, sir. Also, would you be interested in our pregnancy tests?”

Me: “Uh, I’m male, so, no.”

Cashier: “Perhaps for your girlfriend?”

Me: “No?”

Cashier: “Come on, now. A strapping young man like yourself? It’s always good to be safe.”

Me: “I’m really not interested. I doubt a pregnancy test would even be effective with me. A condom sounds more reliable.”

Cashier: “Ah, but they can fail!”

Me: “It’s still a no.”

Cashier: *suddenly furious* “WELL, WHY NOT?”

Me: “Because I think it’s doubtful my boyfriend will come up to me and say he might be pregnant.”

Cashier: *pauses* “Oh, well, you didn’t have to be so rude!”

(After I paid and before the receipt printed, the cashier just walked away. The kicker: I go there every year for gay sexual health checkups. He actually knows my boyfriend and me well, and he has always known that I’m gay.)

[florida80]

The Workforce Is Strong With This One
DRUG STORE, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 31, 2017
(We have a giant inflatable ghost on display for Halloween. It doesn’t quite sit right and tends to lean to the side, so we frequently adjust it.)

Coworker: “[My name]! The ghost is falling again.”

Me: “Okay…”

(We spend about five minutes fiddling with it, until we get it to sit up right.)

Coworker: “Oh, no. His ascot got flipped backwards.”

(We proceed to grab boxes and stick-like things, trying to flip the ascot back around to no avail.)

Me: “OH! I’ve got it!”

(I run away with no explanation and return with a toy extendable lightsaber. I make the “vwing” noise and I flick it and extend the lightsaber. I succeed in straightening the ghost’s tie on the first attempt.)

Coworker: “…You just fixed the ascot of an inflatable ghost with a lightsaber.”

Me: “I love this job.”

[florida80]

How To Be A Divorcee By Five
BIZARRE, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | WORKING | OCTOBER 28, 2017
(We have just switched to my husband’s insurance. He provides our information to HR, and it’s HR that actually provides it to the insurance company. I have a monthly-renewing prescription for birth control and this is the first time trying to pick it up under the new insurance.)

Me: “Hi, I’m [My Name] here to pick up a prescription.”

Pharmacist: *looks at computer* “Okay. Can I get you to verify the address for me?”

Me: “It’s [address].”

Pharmacist: “Um… I’ll go ahead and give it to you today, since I see you all the time, but you need to contact your insurance, ASAP. They listed your date of birth as [correct month and day], 2016.”

(I have no idea how his HR managed to list me as his spouse at less than one year old.)

[florida80]

There Are Prescribed Lunch Breaks
CALIFORNIA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 26, 2017
(I work in a pharmacy as an intern, and on the weekends, we only have one pharmacist on duty. It is company policy that employees have to take their unpaid lunch by the fifth hour on the clock. This happens when our pharmacist is out to lunch.)

Tech: “Hello there. Are you picking up or dropping off?”

Patient: “Picking up.”

Tech: “I’m sorry, but our pharmacist is on lunch. We can’t sell any prescriptions without a pharmacist here.”

Patient: “Why the h*** not?!”

Tech: “I’m sorry, but it is against the law for us to do that.”

Patient: “Just give it to me! I drove all the way here!”

Tech: “I can’t; it’s against the law, and we have to have a pharmacist here.”

Patient: “There should always be a pharmacist here; it’s a pharmacy! Why the h*** aren’t they here?!”

Tech: “She’s on her lunch right now. She’ll be back at 1:30, but I can’t do anything until then.”

Patient: “I want to talk to a manager!”

Tech: *calls manager*

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t do anything until the pharmacist comes back from lunch. She has to take her lunch, too.”

Patient: “I’m complaining to corporate. What is their number? This is ridiculous!”

Manager: “It’s [number].”

(The patient storms off as the manager just shrugs.)

Manager: “Call all you want. What are they gonna do? Fire me for following the law?”

[florida80]

Suddenly Anti-Antibiotic
CANADA, MONTREAL, PHARMACY, QUEBEC | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 26, 2017
Customer: “Hi, I’d like to fill this prescription, please.”

Me: “Very well, I’ll need your birthdate.”

Customer: “[Birthdate]. Hurry up, please.”

Me: “Any known allergies?”

Customer: “What? No! Look, it’s not my first time taking these pills. Just give it to me.”

Me: *taken aback* “Okay, sir, you may go in the waiting room.”

(A few minutes later the pharmacist explains the treatment to the customer.)

Pharmacist: “So, those pills are penicillin combined with another antibiotic—”

Customer: “Penicillin? What? I can’t take this! I’m deathly allergic to penicillin!”

[florida80]

1 Part Bleach To 100 Parts Stupidity, Part 2
PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, PITTSBURGH, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 25, 2017
(I am a pharmacy technician, not qualified to recommend drugs or dispense advice. Any questions about actual medicine, I am required to pass off to a pharmacist, even if I think I know the answer.)

Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Customer: *mumbling* “Um, I think I—” *mumbles* “—contact with bleach…”

Me: “I’m sorry, what? Could you repeat that?”

Customer: “I think I might have swallowed some bleach and was wondering if the pharmacist could recommend anything.”

Me: *trying not to look alarmed* “Well, if I were you, I would call the Poison Control Center, but I’ll check with the pharmacist.”

(I go back to the counter where the pharmacist is working.)

Me: “This guy says he might have ingested bleach and wants to know if you can recommend anything. I told him he should call the Poison Control Center.”

Pharmacist: “Yeah, that’s about it.”

(I go up to the front counter and repeat this advice to the customer.)

Customer: “Well, I drank some fluids and I’m feeling better now. I had some [soda], and some water, and some lemonade. My chest was hurting before but now it’s better. Do you know if bleach can make your chest hurt?”

Me: “Um… probably. If you swallowed bleach, it could hurt on the way down. You should probably call the Poison Control Center.”

Customer: “Eh, maybe I’ll call them tomorrow. If I’m not feeling better then, I can go to the emergency room, too.”

Me: “I would call them tonight if I were you, just to be safe. Do you want their number?”

(I write it down on the nearest piece of paper and hand it to him.)

Customer: “Yeah, thanks. I might call them tomorrow.”

(He wanders away, but comes back later. My coworker is an intern, studying to become a pharmacist, and gets to the counter first. I overhear their conversation.)

Customer: “I was wondering about water pills. What do they do?”

Coworker: “Um, they make you urinate.”

Customer: “Can I get some of those?”

Coworker: *realizing why he’s asking* “They don’t flush out your system; they’re used to lower blood pressure. And you would need a prescription.”

Customer: “Can I get one of those?”

Coworker: *bewildered* “We don’t give prescriptions here; we just fill them. You would need to go to a doctor.”

(The customer wanders away, apparently still confused about a lot of things.)

Me: “I hope he’s going to be okay.”

Pharmacist: “If he had really swallowed bleach, his throat would be burned. I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but there’s nothing else we can do.”

Related:
1 Part Bleach To 100 Parts Stupidity

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #98659 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=98659)
PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | OCTOBER 23, 2017
I work as a cashier in a somewhat conservative town. I often dye my hair, sometimes even brighter colors like blue and green and there are no rules against it at my job. As always when working retail, people will find anything they can to be mean about and I get picked on a lot because I dye my hair. I don’t have any noticeable tattoos or wild piercings but I do enjoy having the freedom to dye my hair different colors. One day was particularly brutal and after kindly explaining to customers that my hair choice wasn’t permanent and that there are no company regulations against it, a man came up to purchase an item with a young boy and immediately start to harass me about my hair. “HAHAHA, is it Halloween!” he said to me (it was definitely March and he knew it wasn’t anywhere near Halloween.) After already having a hard day, I was at the end of my rope and explained to him about there being no company policy against it and told him that bullying people for their looks while having a young child with them was a very bad precedent and that he should be ashamed of himself for being so rude. He turned red and stammered and got out of the store as fast as he could.

[florida80]

Spare A Nickel Of Charity?
JERK, MONEY, PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | OCTOBER 17, 2017
(Our chain has implemented a “roundup” feature; customers are asked if they want to round their total up to the nearest dollar, with the extra cents being donated to a children’s charity. The outcome means that it is impossible for the donation to ever be more than 99 cents.)

Customer: “What’s this prompt asking me?”

Me: “It’s asking if you want to round the total of your purchase up to the next dollar, and donate the extra to charity.”

(The customer hits yes before proceeding with her question.)

Customer: “Oh, now I remember. I think I donated two or three dollars with it the last time I was here. How much is it this time?”

Me: “Less than a dollar, ma’am.”

(The transaction proceeds normally, until we finally reach the end.)

Me: “All right, your total is $28.00.”

Customer: “It’s how much? Oh, no. That can’t be right!”

(She begins rummaging around in her wallet, still thinking aloud.)

Customer: “I’m sure I added everything up correctly, but I didn’t bring enough for that with me… Wait, I know! It was that donation! How much did you say it was?”

Me: “Less than a dollar?”

Customer: “Well, take it off. I’m sorry; I didn’t realize it was going to be so much.”

(I go ahead and cancel it, displaying her new total without the rounding.)

Me: “All right, your total is… $27.95, ma’am.”

(The customer promptly pulled out $28 in cash, and I handed her the nickel in change.)

[florida80]

A Case Of System-atic Failure
AT THE CHECKOUT, JERK, PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, SARCASM, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | OCTOBER 12, 2017
(I’m more than halfway through a seven-hour shift, running on five hours of sleep, after a 17-hour day between school and work the previous day. I am supposed to have a cashier to run register, but the cashier hasn’t shown up for any of his shifts this week and we haven’t gotten a hold of him at all, so I am running the front end of the store myself for the entire time. This is right before a snowstorm, so we are unusually busy for a weekend morning. By the time this customer comes up, I am tired, frazzled from trying to help so many different customers at once, almost out of patience, and have more than fulfilled my daily requirement of idiocy. A lady walks up to my register and places a bag of [Store] brand candy and a package of [Popular Brand] Easter marshmallows.)

Customer: “Both of these items are on sale, two for three dollars. They should ring up that price. Make sure they ring up that price.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t believe they will ring up like that; these are two different brands, so they are two different sales. They don’t—”

Customer: “I don’t care if they are two different brands! They should ring up two-for-three!”

Me: “Let me ring them up and see how they ring up, but I’m just letting you know that is not typically how the sales work.”

(I ring up the items and run the customer’s store card.)

Me: “It looks like they both ran up at $1.59 each, so it’s close to the two-for-three deal.”

Customer: *slams hands on counter* “They should be two-for-three! What kind of store doesn’t honor their sales?”

Me: “Ma’am, we do honor our sales; however, the sale tags do say that the single purchase price is more than if you buy two and—”

Customer: “I have two!”

Me: “Yes, but they are two different brands. I know it can be confusing, and we get this sometimes with makeup. Like if [Makeup Brand #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] and [Makeup Brand #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] are both on sale, buy one get one half off, and you bought an eyeshadow from both, would you expect to get one of them half off?”

Customer: *nods emphatically* “Yes!”

Me: “Okay. What if there is that same sale on hair dye and [brand] macaroni and cheese? Would you expect to get one of them half off?”

Customer: “Of course!”

(By this time there are about five people behind her that are starting to get impatient. After a couple more tries of explaining it to her…)

Me: “That, unfortunately, is not how the system works. Would you still like both of the products?”

Customer: *throws card at me* “Yes, fine, whatever. And don’t tell me how the system works! I’ve been in the system for fifty years! I know how the system works.”

Me: “Wow, you must have been a loyal customer from the start! The company has only recently celebrated our 50th anniversary! We appreciate your loyalty!” *slight sarcasm*

(She finally grabbed her bags and left, and I was able to greet the next customer. But not before hitting my head against the wall first.)

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #97694 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=97694)
NEW YORK, PHARMACY, RETAIL, USA | UNFILTERED | OCTOBER 11, 2017
(Certain Allergy medicines have to be purchased back in the pharmacy due to New York State law. You can get a script for them, but most people just buy it over the counter. At this time, Allegra-D 24 hr is completely unavailable.)

Customer: “I need to get Allegra-D 24-hour for my daughter.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but it’s currently unavailable right now. All we have is the 12 hour.”

Customer: “Really? You don’t have any?”

Cashier: “Yes. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “What is my daughter going to do? She needs it!”

(The Cashier shrugs sympathetically. The customer starts to walk away, but turns around.)

Customer: “If I call her doctor and get a script for it, will you have the Allegra-D ready for her then?”

Cashier: “No. It’s unavailable.”

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #97624
CALIFORNIA, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | OCTOBER 10, 2017
(I am around eight months pregnant, well into my last trimester and am dealing with a bad cold. Needless to say, I am miserable. I go to my doctor and she prescribes me pseudo-ephedrine. I go downstairs with my husband to the pharmacy. I give my prescription to the pharmacist.)
Pharmacist: “I can’t give this to you.”

Me: “Why?”

Pharmacist: “Because you are pregnant.”

Me: “But the doctor prescribed it to me. I am sick and can’t get any relief from [popular brand].”

Pharmacist: “I am sorry but I can’t give you something that might cause you to miscarry.”

(My husband at this point is getting fed up and goes upstairs to talk with the doctor. I continue to argue with the pharmacist who keeps on insisting the doctor didn’t give me the right prescription. He pulls down this War and Peace book of pharmaceuticals. He flips to the section showing the medication we have been arguing about.)

Pharmacist: “See, read right here.”

(He helps another customer while I read the section. When he gets finished, I flag him over.)

Me: “It says right here that it is dangerous for woman who are in the first trimester, not their third which I am in. Please, can I have my medication?”

(He reads the book and agrees with me.)

Pharmacist: “Sorry about that, I didn’t read this section. I’ll call you up when it is ready.”

Me: “Thank you.”
(I go and sit down to wait for it and my husband who has yet to come back from talking with the doctor. He finally hands me my prescription and I sit down to wait for my husband. My son is seven now but I still remember that pharmacist who had good intentions but didn’t take into account that his timing was way off and that the doctor approved prescription.

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #96667 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=96667)
PHARMACY, TEXAS, USA | UNFILTERED | OCTOBER 6, 2017
A woman approaches the counter and asks for a consultation from the pharmacist. The patient inquires about vitamins, and the pharmacist counsels her for about 15 minutes, and ensures there are no interactions with her medications. She proceeds to shop more, then asks to check out with me. She proceeds to throw her items on the counter, and drops a 12 can coke pack on my left hand. I say nothing, since no damage was done. I finish the transaction and notice she has 2 other packs on the bottom of her cart out of my sight until she started to retreat. I call after her and she proceed to say “Seriously, you didn’t ring these up?”
Me: “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t know those were in the bottom of your cart. I can ring them through really quick, one moment.”
Her: “This is ridiculous, I’d assume you’d knew I’d have three since they’re on sale.”
Me: “I didn’t know they were on sale. It isn’t a good idea to charge you for items I don’t know you are purchasing. Your total for the 2 packs is (amount).”
The woman scoffs and says: “What? You mean I OWE you money?!”
Me: “Yes ma’am, if you want the additional two packs, you have to pay for them.”
She mutters under her breath and reluctantly puts in her chip card. I bid her a good day and she goes on her way. I heard from the manager that she caused a scene up front claiming that I overcharged her (I didn’t) and that the pharmacist didn’t help her in any way with vitamins. She also claimed that we refused to write her a rain check which she didn’t ask for.

[florida80]

Just Slide Right Past Your Instructions
CALIFORNIA, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, MONEY, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 25, 2017
(I work at a pharmacy where patients are asked to give their signature for insurance purposes, indicating that they have picked up their prescriptions, before they make their payment. Here is the basic conversation, all day, every day, at the pick-up counter.)

Cashier: “Before you swipe your card, can you please press ‘next’ on the screen and sign that you are picking up your medications?”

Customer: “Okay!” *swipes card anyway, then presses ‘next’ and signs*

Cashier: *annoyed* “Okay, you can slide your card now.”

Customer: *angry* “I already slid my card!”

Cashier: *rolls eyes* “Yes, but as I was saying, you need to press ‘next’ and sign first, and then slide your card. If you slide before signing, the terminal will not read your card.”

Customer: “Oh, okay! Well, I hope I don’t get charged twice!”

Cashier: *even more annoyed* “You won’t; trust me.”

(Customer slides card.)

Cashier: “Okay, now I need your signature for the purchase.”

Customer: “But I already signed!”

Cashier: *deep sigh*

[florida80]

Not Sure If They Need Less Medication Or More
HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 21, 2017
Me: “Good evening, and thank you for calling [Big Name Pharmacy]. How can I help you?

Customer: “I need to identify a pill.”

Me: “Absolutely. Can you give me a description?”

Customer: “It’s a yellow, round pill with an ‘A’ on it. It’s pretty dirty, though.”

Me: “Oh, I really wouldn’t take any medication that appears damaged or contaminated.”

Customer: “No, it’s okay. I found it on the ground outside.”

Me: *professionalism waning* “Uh… what? You found it where?”

Customer: “I found it on the… the street just now, and I want to make sure it’s okay to take.”

Me: *professionalism out the window* “Do you usually eat random s*** off the street?!”

Customer: *hangs up*

[florida80]

Raising A Monster Versus Monster Parenting
BAD BEHAVIOR, CHILDREN, PHARMACY, USA, WILD & UNRULY | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 21, 2017
(Around the holidays, the tension is really high for people to get their prescriptions on time before going on vacation, so the pharmacy area is packed with close to forty people. I overhear this exchange as I’m ringing up a customer with an especially rude son.)

Me: “That will be $4.50, please.”

Customer: *digs in her purse for her wallet*

Customer’s Son: “Geez, stupid b****. Can’t you hurry up!? I want to go home, now!”

(A lady a few people back snaps her head towards him with a face that is the essence of “Oh, HELL no!”)

Customer’s Son: “God, Mom. Every time we go somewhere, it takes you for-f***ing-ever!”

(The lady a few people back is now breathing very loudly through her nose.)

Customer: “Sweetie, if you wait a minute, we can go get you a burger.”

Customer’s Son: “You bet like hell you are.” *points finger in her face* “You owe me big, woman. I could have been home hours ago out of this s*** heap with you. I’m bored out of my f***ing skull.”

(The lady a few people back is now looking anywhere but at the teenager, shaking her head violently, tapping the side of her purse, and muttering, “Mm-mm, mm-mmmm,” to herself.)

Customer: “Okay, look, honey. We’re done.”

Customer’s Son: “ABOUT D*** TIME, B****!”

(The customer and her son just pass around the corner, when the lady a few people back suddenly swings around, grabs both her teenage sons with one hand, and starts hitting them both with her purse.)

Lady: “DON’T.” *smack* “YOU.” *smack* “EVER.” *smack* “TALK.” *smack* “TO.” *smack* “ME.” *smack* “LIKE.” *smack* “THAT!” *smack*

(Some people are staring open-mouthed, others are cheering her on, but I am face-down on the counter, laughing hysterically. When it is the lady’s turn, I am still choking down tears.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am. How can I help you?”

Lady: “You’re laughing, but I’ll do the same to you if I ever hear you talking like that.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. You’re a great woman.”

Lady: “That’s because I was taught how to respect my parents.”

(Faith in humanity restored. Thank you, purse lady!)

[florida80]

Won’t “Let It Go” To Delivery
MOVIES & TV, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 14, 2017
(I work as a pharmacy technician and, as part of verifying a patient’s identity, I ask them to verify the address we have on file. A man with three rows of skulls tattooed on his forearm is picking up for someone else.)

Me: “Can you verify the address?”

Customer: “[Street number], uh, gosh, it’s the snowman from that Frozen movie!”

(The street was Olaf. I laughed and sold him the prescription.)

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #93136 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=93136)
PHARMACY | UNFILTERED | SEPTEMBER 8, 2017
Unfortunately, the postcode of where I live doesn’t always show up correctly with all the auto-address fill-in databases in common use. I live on a small private road (let’s call it Minor Avenue) just off a main road (let’s call it Main Road). My address is 6 Minor Avenue, Main Road, Coventry, Postcode. Some databases have it as 6 Main Road, Coventry, which does not exist. Where there should be a building is actually an open plot of land sometimes used as a temporary car park.

When I give my details over the phone, I always double check the person filling in the details has the correct information.

A few months ago, I wasn’t very well, and could foresee me needing a lot of medicine. As such, it was necessary to buy myself a pre-payment prescription card, which I did at the pharmacy. It was them that contacted the company that issues the cards, rather than me, by using their website.

Two weeks later, and I still hadn’t received my card through the post, so I rang up the prepayment people. My card had been dispatched, and when the person I was talking to double checked the details, he saw the problem and burst out laughing.

Him: I see the problem – your card has been sent to the address 6 Coventry. That was all they put!

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #91985 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=91985)
PHARMACY, WISCONSIN | UNFILTERED | AUGUST 29, 2017
This woman pulls up to the drive through pharmacy and says there is a prescription ready for her. I look up her name and when I find nothing, I then verify her address and date of birth to see if it has been filled at a different location. There is nothing.
Me: “Sorry ma’am, I do not currently see anything ready for you. What were you expecting?”
Woman: “Well, I got a text message saying that I have something ready.”
Me: “I understand that ma’am, however as I don’t see anything in the system it may have been sent in error. We do not have control over the automated system unfortunately so this happens every now and then.”
Woman: “Well I got a text message so I have a prescription here!”
Me: “Ma’am, I currently do not see anything that is ready at any location.”
Woman: (snarling) “Then WHY would I get a text message?! It HAS to mean I have something ready. I’ll even show you!”
Me: “Alright, I’ll gladly take a look at the message for you.”
She thrusts her phone into the drawer we use to hand out prescriptions through the drive-through and looks smug as I pull it back in to look.
Me: “Ma’am, it reads “Prescription due for refill. Reply “REFILL” to submit request.” I do not see your reply.”
Her demeanor changes all of a sudden like she wasn’t just snapping at me. I return her phone.
Woman: “Oh, well, it must happen all the time! (*laughs*) Can I get a refill?”
She didn’t have any refills left on her prescription anyway.

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #91955 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=91955)
NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY | UNFILTERED | AUGUST 26, 2017
(I work in a popular drug store full time. I also have PTSD and an anxiety disorder, and one of the effects of this is that Im extremely touch averse: people touching me makes me extremely nervous, and if I cant see them before they touch me it often triggers a panic attack. This particular day I am building an endstand display with my back tutned to the center aisle of the store)

Customer- *comes up behind me and roughly grabs me by the shoulder* Hey, can you help me-

Me- *Immediately panics and jetks away from her, loosing my balance and falling backwards into thr display I was building*

(At this point, while I was on the floor trying not to have a full- blown anxiety attack, the woman starts laughing.)

Customer- “Awww, I scared you!” *Laughs*

Me- *Speechless*

(As luck would have it, it was me and my manager at the register when she comes up to pay.)

Customer- (to my manager) “You know, I scared her in the aisle. I thought she was gonna cry!” *laughs*

(My manager was livid and, thankfully I was allowed to go on my break after that…)

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #91908 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=91908)
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, PHARMACY | UNFILTERED | AUGUST 21, 2017
I drop off a prescription at the pharmacy counter.

Pharmacist: We’re pretty busy. Do you want to wait or come back in about an hour?

Me: I have some other errands to run. I’ll come back around 1:30.

Pharmacist: That should be fine.

I come back about 1:40. The woman ahead of me in line at the pick-up counter is obviously angry and snarking at the shy young pharmacist. Eventually she steams off.

Me: Hi, do you have a prescription ready for (my name)?

Pharmacist: I’m so sorry. We’ve been really busy. It will probably be another 15 minutes or so. Would you like us to deliver it to your home?

Me: Oh, no. That’s fine. I’ll just run over to (supermarket) and come back.

About 20 minutes later:

Pharmacist: We’re just getting your order together. Do you mind having a seat for a couple of minutes?

Me: No problem.

A few minutes later, she calls me up to get my prescription.

Pharmacist: Thank you so much for being so patient. I’ve already had two people yell at me today.

Me: No problem. It’s not like it was your fault.

Pharmacist: They don’t seem to care about that. Thank you so much again.

Me: Hope your day gets better.

1 Thumbs
60
Share on FacebookShare on Reddit
5
Getting Stupider By The Generation
OHIO, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, PHARMACY, RETAIL, USA | RELATED | AUGUST 9, 2017
(I’m pregnant and recently started showing, which has lead to many comments from customers. Also, the pregnancy has lead me to make lots of silly mistakes which I largely blame on pregnancy brain.)

Me: “Sorry about that. My daughter stole my brain cells and she won’t give them back.”

Customer: “I’m sure she’ll give them back eventually. I feel like I’ve just started to get back some brain power from my daughter.”

Me: “Oh? How old is she?”

Customer: “14.”

Me: “…”

[florida80]

Get A Load Of This!
PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 3, 2017
(I am a customer in this story, and was in the process of picking up a few prescriptions. I grabbed a small, much-needed item as well to be wrung up.)

Me: *places item on the counter* “Is it all right if I add this to the purchase? If it’s too much trouble I can take it to the front registers.”

Pharmacist: “Nah. This is one tiny item that can fit into the prescription bag. You wouldn’t believe how much people try to pack their cart at pick-up to avoid the line. We don’t have the bags or the means to properly checkout full loads back here.”

(As if on cue, a woman with a full shopping cart and a hand-basket moves in line behind me, hitting my leg in the process.)

Customer: “Hurry up! I don’t have all day.”

Me: “Sadly, I think I do.”

[florida80]

No ID, No Idea, Part 28
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 5, 2017
(In response to one of our competitors ceasing to sell cigarettes, our chain has adopted a policy of requiring ID for any sales of cigarettes or paraphernalia, no matter how old someone looks. This goes for everything down to tobacco pipe cleaners, which is what a customer is trying to buy.)

Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”

Customer: “You’re kidding, right? I’m 35. You don’t need to see my ID if I look like I’m over 27.”

Me: “No, it’s a new pol—”

Customer: “This is ridiculous.” *she starts telling me her birthday to enter manually*

Me: “I can’t type in—”

Customer: “What do you need, my driver’s license number?!”

Me: “I can’t sell anything having to do with smoking unless I can see photo ID—”

Customer: “What, you want me to go back home and get my driver’s license?! This is f****** ridiculous. I want to talk to your manager. I’ve been driving around all f****** day looking for these f****** cleaners. I’ve been at two f****** shops in just this f****** plaza already!”

(She continues ranting as I go get my manager and tell him the issue. At no point does she stop being audible.)

Manager: “Ma’am, we can’t sell you those unless you have photo ID.”

Customer: “Are you kidding?! I’m thirty-f******-five. You don’t need to see my f****** ID if I look like I’m over twenty-seven. It’s the law!”

Manager: “It’s a new policy, ever since [Competitor] stopped selling cigarettes.”

(I hand her a small flyer about the new policy, an exact copy of the sign that is on our door and at various places around the store.)

Customer: “Then I don’t want any of these.”

(She continues ranting as she walks toward the door.)

Customer: “I drive around for two f****** hours, just going all over god’s f****** creation just to find these f******—”

Me: “Have a great evening!”

Customer: “F*** you!”

[florida80]

Dollars To Donuts
AT THE CHECKOUT, EMPLOYEES, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, USA | WORKING | JUNE 30, 2017
(I have gone to the pharmacy to refill a prescription. The transaction goes completely normal until the very end after I’ve checked out.)

Worker: “Can I interest you in a free doughnut?”

(I look at her in confusion. I wasn’t expecting being offered a doughnut at 12:30 pm from my pharmacy tech, so my brain takes a bit to process that I did hear those words. After a moment, I shake my head.)

Me: “No, thank you!”

Worker: “…that was rather silly to offer someone picking up diabetes medication, huh?”

[florida80]

The Key To Avoiding Overtime
CONNECTICUT, OVERTIME, PHARMACY, USA | WORKING | JUNE 28, 2017
(I work as a pharmacy technician. As a rule, we aren’t allowed to carry non-clear bags (i.e. purses, backpacks, etc.) into the pharmacy, and as a result hand carry in valuables like phones, keys, and wallets. Early on, the lead technicians and managers had figured out I would stay later if asked, sometimes up to two hours after my shift had ended. This would usually end in my girlfriend or some other friend calling me at the pharmacy worried to see if I was still there or had gotten home yet. To stop from being asked to stay later, I start sneaking out of the pharmacy through the side door, which is one way. It is after a shift with at least one coworker who has a reputation of trying to talk me into staying later, and it is a busy night. I slip out the side door, am grabbing my things to leave, when I realize I left my keys in the pharmacy. Unfortunately, the only way to get into the pharmacy is through the front half-door. I try to get back in unnoticed by my coworkers, which doesn’t work at all. As I’m grabbing my keys, my coworkers stop me.)

Coworker #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “What, you left without saying goodbye?” *standard procedure so that we know which areas of the pharmacy aren’t covered*

Manager: “Yeah, we were just discussing that. You do that a lot.”

Me: “If I say I’m leaving, you guys usually try to make me stay later.”

Coworker #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “See? I told you she’d say that!”

Coworker #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Yeah… I probably would’ve asked you to stay later.”

(I can’t say I wasn’t asked to stay later after that night, but at least since saying something in front of the manager, the lead techs would give me at least a few hours notice of wanting me to stay later.)

[florida80]

Keep A Watchful Eye On That One
BIZARRE, PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, TIME, USA | RIGHT | JUNE 22, 2017
Customer: “Hi, I was in here earlier and I left my watch here. I called corporate, and they said I could just come back and get a new one.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “I was in sometime between 5 and 5:30 today when I left my watch.”

(This is taking place at 1:30 pm.)

Me: “We… wouldn’t have been open.”

Customer: “I have to track everywhere I go for my work. I can show you.”

(Customer begins pulling something up on her phone.)

Me: “This store opens at 8:00 am.”

Customer: “Okay, it was at 3:30 pm that I was in.”

Me: “…Today?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “It’s 1:30; it hasn’t been 3:30 yet.”

Customer: “Is there a manager I could talk to about this?”

(While I call for the manager, she continues to talk.)

Customer: “Look, I know that you try your hardest, but I think it would be better if I talked this over with a manager.”

(After I hang up the phone, she gestures to the back of the store.)

Customer: “I’ll just take care of it meanwhile. Are they back there?”

Me: “No, that’s our pharmacy. The manager will be up here soon—”

Customer: “No, I mean your watches.”

Me: “We… don’t sell watches.”

Customer: “I can show you that I got it here. I have the bag in my car.”

(The customer walks out of the store just as my manager reaches the front.)

Manager: “Did you still need me?”

Me: “I’m really not sure…”

(If she ever returned, it wasn’t before the end of my shift a half hour later, so I can only guess at what she was talking about!)

[florida80]

Lipstuck On That Punchline
PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 20, 2017
(I have gone to my local pharmacy to see if they have a cream suitable to put on a small insect bite on my 8-month-old’s face. They do not. I have also picked up some formula, and a lipstick for myself. The assistant has already been very confrontational with me, telling me off for not taking the baby to see a doctor about the bite. I am feeling very uncomfortable as she puts the rest of my items through the till, so I try and lighten the mood.)

Me: *to baby, in a joking voice* “Don’t worry, little man, a bit of concealer and you’ll be ready to impress the ladies in no time!”

Assistant: “What?! You can’t do that!”

Me: “Of course I won’t. I was joking.”

Assistant: “Do you have any idea how dangerous that could be? You have no idea what’s in those sort of products! Besides, babies are already beautiful!”

Me: “Yes, I’m sorry; I should not have made a joke about it.”

(She pulls the lipstick I have bought out of the basket.)

Assistant: “See! I knew you weren’t joking! You can’t put this on your child’s face!”

Me: “That’s for me. That’s bright red lipstick!”

Assistant: “Lipstick! That’s even worse! Why would you put lipstick on a baby?!”

Me: “I’m not going to put lipstick on my baby!”

Assistant: “I’m not going to sell this to you. Go home and take your baby to the doctor as you are supposed to.”

(I hurried out, feeling pretty tearful. I dutifully went to the doctor, who quite frankly was perplexed why I was there for such a minor problem! My son’s face cleared up within a day, and at no point did he wear the lipstick — it just wasn’t his colour!)

[florida80]

What A Diabeetus
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MAY 19, 2017
(I am talking to a regular customer, who is looking to lose some weight before her wedding, about a fitness professional I follow on YouTube who posts workouts and meal plans for free to help people. There is a customer next to me who is being helped by my coworker.)

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *to me and [Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ]* “Are you calling her fat?”

Me: *startled* “No, I am not. We’re just talking about fitness and—”

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “You should love your body. Don’t go telling her to change it to fit YOUR standards!”

Me: “I’m not telling her to—”

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *to [Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ]* “Don’t you love yourself?”

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “I do; I do. I just want to lose five pounds before my wedding.”

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “No! That’s the media talking! You’re being brainwashed.”

Customer: “No, it’s my doctor talking. I’m all for body positivity but a health professional is telling me to lose weight.”

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “When you die from diabetes, don’t come looking for help then!”

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “I couldn’t because I’d be hypothetically dead.”

(Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) sputtered and walked out without her change.)

[florida80]

Not Engaging The Way They Should
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MAY 2, 2017
(I recently got engaged to my boyfriend and while working I have had people comment on my ring. Usually people just say congratulations…)

Customer: “Hi there, I’d like to drop off this prescription.”

Me: “Sure thing. Did you want to wait while I fill this for you?”

Customer: *noticing my ring* “Oooh, look at that ring!”

Me: “Oh, thank you! Yes, I just recently got engaged.”

Customer: “You should ask him to trade that in and get you a ring from the Vera Wang collection instead. I like those the best.”

Me: “Um, no…”

[florida80]

A Cancer On Society
PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 11, 2017
(Since it’s nearing the Christmas season, we are currently doing donations for a cancer foundation. I lost my grandfather to lung cancer earlier this year.)

Me: “Your total is $[total]. Would you like to donate a dollar to [Cancer Foundation] today?”

Customer: “No, I would not.”

Me: “Okay, no problem.” *hits ‘no’ to proceed to payment screen and am about to tell the customer she can swipe her card*

Customer: “I won’t donate because there’s already a cure for cancer. It’s the biggest conspiracy out there.” *laughs*

(All I could do was just fake laugh, smile, and wish her a good day. If you don’t want to donate, just say no. That’s it!)

[florida80]

Out-Of-Controlled Substance
PHARMACY | WORKING | MARCH 30, 2017
(A few years ago, I was with a friend at a local pharmacy. She was looking for water-based lubricant, but could find none on the shelf. I told her that she should ask the pharmacist, since they would know if they stocked the item, and if not they could call other stores to find out. She expressed nervousness that the pharmacist would judge her, and I assured her that it would be entirely unprofessional to do such a thing, but that if it bothered her I would go and ask in her stead. After waiting in line the following exchanged took place.)

Me: “Hello, could you tell me if this, or one of your affiliated stores, carries water-based lubricant?”

Young Pharmacist: “What?”

Me: “Water-based lubricant.”

Young Pharmacist: *looks uneasy* “Why do you need it?”

Me: *confused at the question* “Personal use.”

Young Pharmacist: *becoming irritated* “I need to know exactly what you plan to do with it!”

Me: “Why?”

Young Pharmacist: *suddenly looking upset* “Because it is a controlled substance!”

Me: *thinks he is joking* “No, it’s not.”

Young Pharmacist: *more upset* “Yes, it is!”

Me: *now getting irritated at this very unprofessional behavior* “No! It’s not!”

Young Pharmacist: *now irate* “Yes, it is, and unless you tell me what you plan to do with it I will not sell it to you!”

Me: *now very irate* “For f******!”

Young Pharmacist: *now suddenly pale and uneasy looking* “What?”

Me: *still upset* “For f******! Probably with sex toys involved as well! Anal and vaginal fucking! Now, do you have it or not?!”

Young Pharmacist: *looking very uncomfortable* “I’ll need to get my manager to approve that.” *runs to the backs and has a heated sounding conversation just out of earshot*

(At this point, an older woman who is clearly the head pharmacist comes up to the counter, looking clearly annoyed to be pulled away from whatever she was doing.)

Older Pharmacist: “Hello, I am the head pharmacist here. Would you explain to me what you need the controlled substance for?”

Me: “F******! Sex! Fornication! Probably involving sex toys since certain ones melt if you use the wrong personal lubricant.”

Older Pharmacist: *looking confused* “Personal lubricant is not a controlled substance…”

Me: “That’s what I told him!” *points to Younger Pharmacist* “But he refused to believe me, then demanded to know what I was using it for, then dragged you up here, and now here we are!”

Older Pharmacist: *looks at Younger Pharmacist* “Seriously? You seriously dragged me up here for this?” *turns to the computer* “What kind were you looking for?”

Me: “I need a water-based lubricant; nothing fancy. Do you or any other store in the chain close by carry it?”

(The older pharmacist types for a while, and the younger pharmacist looks uncomfortable.)

Older Pharmacist: “I’m not seeing anything; you probably have to get it online.”

Me: “Thank you very much for all of your help.”

(As I turn to walk back to my friend I hear this exchange between the Older and Younger Pharmacists.)

Older Pharmacist: “If you are going to work in this field you have to stop being this way about sexual and reproductive items or you will not last long.”

(I went back to my friend, informed them of the outcome, and we left. I am so happy that they dealt with me instead of her, as she would have left the pharmacy in tears with no answers.)

[florida80]

Out-Of-Controlled Substance, Part 2
PHARMACY | WORKING | MARCH 30, 2017
(I am at the pharmacy, picking up several medications. To pick up any medications, you have to give the address they have on file. Further, one of the medications is Schedule II, which means I need to have my ID. I pull out my ID and have it ready, waiting for the pharmacy tech to ask for it.)

Tech: “All right, your total is [price]. You can scan your card now!”

Me: *thinking they may have forgotten one of my medications* “Um… is my [controlled substance] in there?”

Tech: “Oh! Yeah, it is! I’ll need to see your ID.”

Me: *hands over the ID*

Tech: *finishes ringing me up, and starts handing me the bag, before pausing* “Oh, what’s your address?”

Me: “[Address].”

Tech: “All right, here you go!”

(As I left, I remembered I’m usually supposed to give my date of birth as well. Kinda takes the “controlled” out of controlled substances when I could’ve gotten it with nothing but a name… I’m just glad I caught it before the person got in big trouble.)

[florida80]

The Customer Is Sometimes Right
AWESOME, CANADA, ONTARIO, PHARMACY, TORONTO | RIGHT | MARCH 29, 2017
(I’m the customer in this one, calling into the store. I have worked in customer service for years and as such I tend to get a lot of “oh, thank heavens!” reactions from staff. This is one.)

Me: “Hi, I’d like to get a refill on [Medication].”

Pharmacist: *in trepidation* “Uhh… let me just check if we have your three-months’ refill.”

Me: “No worries.”

Pharmacist: *sounding even more worried* “Ma’am, I am so sorry, but it doesn’t appear we have the full supply. When do you need them by?”

Me: “I’m out as of tomorrow, but that’s no problem; it wouldn’t be the first time I get a week’s supply and come back for more when you have it.”

Pharmacist: “I can try calling another… Do you think… Wait, what? Really?”

Me: “Sure. Happens at least half the time. You only have a few customers on this medication and apparently we all like to refill at about the same time.”

Pharmacist: “And you’re not… You’re okay?”

Me: *laughing* “I’m not cranky-customer-type. My goal is never to be the one you go home complaining about!”

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, you are my favourite customer today. Possibly this month.”

[florida80]

Deleted Defeated
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 25, 2017
(It’s already been a long day as I answer a patient’s phone call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store] pharmacy; how can I help you?”

Female Customer: “I want you to delete [medication] from my file! I don’t want it to ever be filled there again. I get my medications in the mail now, and I don’t want you to screw it up.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, I’ll leave it here in your profile but we won’t fill it. We will only fill it if you ask us to.”

Female Customer: “No, I want it deleted!”

Me: “Okay, I will delete it.”

(I don’t delete it because patients who get their medications in the mail always run into a problem sooner or later and need to get a few pills from us until their order arrives from the mail.)

Female Customer: “Great! Oh, and can you fill [supposedly deleted medication] for a few tablets? My mail order will be late this month.”

[florida80]

Suffering From Prescription Dysfunction
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 15, 2017
(I am helping a customer whose prescription for Cialis 20mg has expired. The customer only has Cialis 5mg still on file, which someone has filled for him instead of the 20mg.)

Me: “Were you wanting to wait until your doctor faxed back about the 20mg Cialis?”

Customer: “No, I’ll just pop four of the 5mg. Although I really want the 20mg ones since they do the work!”

Me: “Do you only take one of the 20mg Cialis?”

Customer: “OH, YA! Except if I’m at a crazy party, and then I pop a few.”

Me: “…”

[florida80]

Like They Were Born Yesterday
PHARMACY | WORKING | FEBRUARY 26, 2017
(I go to the pharmacy I have been going to for the last three years. I am on their computer system, which is listed by name and birthdate. My doctor’s office tells me to pick up my prescription. I usually don’t have any problems.)

Me: “Hello, I have a prescription for myself. My name is [First Name] [Last Name] and my birthday is January 20, 195X.”

Clerk: “Okay, what’s your name?”

Me: “[First Name] [Last Name].”

Clerk: “How do you spell your last name?”

Me: *spells last name*

Clerk: “Your birthdate?”

Me: “January 20, 195X.”

Clerk: “January 15, 195X?”

Me: “January 20.”

Clerk: “January 15?”

Me: “No, January 20.”

Clerk: “January 15?”

Me: “January 20. Two-Zero. Twenty.”

Clerk: “Oh, I keep on thinking you said fifteen. Okay, January 20, 2015?”

Me: “Do I look one year old to you?”

[florida80]

It’s Going To Be One Of Those Months
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 25, 2017
(I work in a dispensary (basically a pharmacy) and we’re only allowed to give out one month’s supply of medication at any given time. This isn’t by our choice; it’s a standard set by the board. One patient comes in to get her medication. I go and get her prescription and she pays when this happens:)

Patient: “Excuse me, this is only a month’s supply. The doctor told me I was on a three month course.”

Me: “Yes, that’s right. We’re only allowed to give out a month’s worth of medication at a time.”

Patient: “But the doctor told me I was on this for three months.”

(At this point, one of the older dispensers behind me chimes in.)

Colleague: “It’s a three month course, meaning that you’re on that medication for three months, but we can only give out one month at a time.”

Patient: “Can I speak to the doctor about this?”

Colleague: “You could but this isn’t a standard set by us. It’s a nation-wide standard.”

Patient: “So I have to come in once a month and pay?!”

Colleague: “Yes.”

Patient: “This is extortion! I would like a complaint form!”

(After about another five minutes of this back and forth, the patient finally went on her way. Do you know what our ‘extortionate’ price is for keeping people alive? £8.05.)

[florida80]

Numb Thumb Dum Dum
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 9, 2017
(A customer comes into the pharmacy and approaches the back desk.)

Pharmacist: “Good afternoon. How can I help you?”

(The customer raises their hand and shows the pharmacist their hand, their thumb is blue and turning a dark colour.)

Customer: “Oh, hi. The other day I accidentally smacked my thumb with a hammer and it’s gone blue and I can’t feel anything… Should I go see a doctor?”

[florida80]

That Request Doesn’t Have A Leg To Stand On
PHARMACY | WORKING | JANUARY 13, 2017
(A customer had called our store about a discrepancy with a price from her insurance. The pharmacist thinks he found the issue and is relaying the information to the customer.)

Pharmacist: “All right, cross your fingers and toes and hope that this works!”

(I didn’t think much of it and went back to my work. When he hangs up, he starts laughing.)

Me: “What’s up?”

Pharmacist: “You know the customer I was on the phone with? Mrs. [Name]?”

Me: “Yeah?”

Pharmacist: “I told her to cross her fingers and toes that her insurance would work.”

Me: “What about it?”

Pharmacist: “I just remembered she doesn’t have legs!”

[florida80]

Splitting Hairs Over The Definition
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 11, 2017
Customer: “I have a question about the dry shampoo. It says here on the can that it’s flammable. Does that mean if I spray too much on my hair and go out in the sun my hair will catch fire?”

(Speechless, not sure if she was joking, I quickly reassured her that the flammable message was about leaving the actual can near heat, and her hair wouldn’t catch fire when she went out into the sun.)

[florida80]

Acting Like She Was Born Yesterday
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 3, 2017
(I’m waiting in line at the pharmacy; there’s one other gentleman in front of me, and then a fairly stereotypical “little old lady” up at the counter. I try not to judge, but…)

Lady: “I’m sorry, I just don’t understand.”

Pharmacist: “I just need you to give me your birth date for the system.”

Lady: “But those are my pills.”

Pharmacist: “I know, but I need to be able to type your birth date into the computer.”

Lady: “I don’t understand. I gave you my name.”

Pharmacist: “Yes, ma’am, but I need both your name AND your birth date.”

Lady: “Do I look like I’m too young to get pills?”

Pharmacist: “It’s not how old you are, ma’am. We just need the confirmation so we don’t give the wrong pills to the wrong person.”

Lady: “But they’re MY pills.”

Pharmacist: “Yes, ma’am. Please, just tell me the month and day you were born on…”

(This goes in a loop for about seven minutes, with the line getting longer and longer. Finally she relents and gives her birthdate… And takes another ten minutes trying to sort out how to use the credit card reader, refusing to let either the pharmacist or anyone else help her. Finally, she gets done, shuffles away, and the gentleman in front of me is called up.)

Man: “I’m picking up for [Man], my birthday is [Date], my phone number is [Number], my address is [Address], my first born’s name is [Son], and you can HAVE him if it speeds this up!”

(The rest of us, including the pharmacist, burst out laughing!)

[florida80]

The Grinch Who Can’t Accept Checks
PHARMACY, RETAIL | RIGHT | DECEMBER 27, 2016
(It’s Christmas Day, and I work at a pharmacy retail store that is part of a very large chain. We are a 24 hour store, and we don’t close on Christmas, so we’re usually the only place open. Christmas Day sales are mostly batteries and last minute gift cards, and there’s been a steady stream of customers all morning. During a lull, an older woman walks in.)

Woman: “Hello! I would like to purchase six [Store] gift cards, each one for $10.”

Me: “Okay!”

(I grab the gift cards from next to the till, and count them quickly to make sure I have the right amount.)

Woman: “Now, should I make this out to [Store]?”

(At this point, I realize that she’s writing a check, which my register won’t let me accept as payment for gift cards, so I speak up.)

Me: “Oh, unfortunately, I can’t take a check.”

Woman: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Yeah, sorry, it’s a store policy. [Chain Store #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] and [Chain Store #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] don’t either. I can take cash, credit, or debit, but that’s it.”

Woman: “Well, I don’t have a debit card, and I don’t have any cash!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I still can’t accept a check.”

Woman: “You, young man, have just ruined Christmas!”

(I told my manager about what the customer said, and was known as “The Grinch” for the rest of the holiday season!)

[florida80]

Google: Old School
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 14, 2016
(I’m a pharmacy technician. One day I’m working the phones when I get this interesting call. I pick up and it’s an elderly woman on the other end.)

Me: “[Company], [My Name] speaking. How can I help?”

Customer: “Yes, do you do pneumonia vaccines?”

Me: “Actually we do. Did you want to come in for one?”

Customer: “How many types do you have?”

Me: “There’s two different vaccines, [Vaccine #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ], and [Vaccine #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ]. They’re good for about five years each.”

Customer: “Okay, and how do you spell that?”

Me: *confused* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “How do you spell the vaccine names?”

(I spell out the vaccine names for her.)

Customer: “So do I add pneumonia after the name of the vaccine?”

Me: *finally putting together that she’s trying to type in the names for an Internet search* “No, just the names should be fine.”

Customer: “Okay, thank you!”

Me: “No problem. Have a good day now.”

Coworker: “What was that about?”

Me: “I think I just did an over-the-phone Google search.”

[florida80]

Suddenly Thankful For Health Insurance
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 13, 2016
(I work as a pharmacist in a pharmacy inside a department store. This takes place on Black Friday and the entire store has massive sales going on; however, the pharmacy is just running under normal business hours. This is the first but not last occurrence this entire day.)

Patient: “You guys are open today?”

Me: “Yes, we are. Just normal hours today, though.”

Patient: “So that means I get my prescriptions half off, right?”

Me: “No, that’s not how it works.”

Patient: “But the entire store is on sale. You guys should be, too!”

Me: “Well, there’s no Black Friday in the pharmacy.”

Patient: “YOU SHOULD!”

Me: “Tell you what; I can give you 30% off the cash price of your prescription. I can’t discount insurance, but I can work with the cash price. Just don’t tell anyone I’m doing this.”

Patient: “Sure!”

Me: “Okay, the cost of your prescription with the discount is… [price around $3000].”

Patient: “What?! I pay $5 normally!”

Me: “Well, that’s the cost of the prescription, so take it or leave it.”

[florida80]

Your Pick’N’Mix Selection Is Depressing
PHARMACY | WORKING | NOVEMBER 25, 2016
(I’m in the pharmacy waiting to pick up my regular prescription, which is two-month’s worth of anti-depressant. Unfortunately, the pharmacy only has one box left of my dosage that day, so I’m about to ask for a ticket to come back tomorrow to finish my order, when the woman serving me – not the chemist – leaves me dumbfounded. )

Worker: “Oh, we only have one box left; do you just want to try something else?”

Me: *after a couple of stunned seconds* “Um, what?”

Worker: “Since we only have one box left, do you want to just take something else?”

Me: *after another few seconds of staring blankly at her* “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I can’t just mix and match anti-depressants like that. Doesn’t sound like a good idea.”

Worker: “Oh. Right, then.”

(I was still stunned when the actual chemist came over to give me my medication and the ticket to pick up my other box I was owed. You would think an employee handling medication would be aware switching up and mixing anti-depressants like that would do more harm than good!)

[florida80]

Minimum Wage Gets Minimum Recognition
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 18, 2016
(A man has come to the registers and is buying some travel sized shampoos.)

Customer: “I’m going overseas for a while. Thought I’d stock up.”

Me: “Oh, that’s exciting. Where are you heading?”

Customer: “India, Spain, and then Morocco for a year. It should be good.”

Me: “I’m so jealous! I’d love to go travelling when I can find the money.”

Customer: “You already have the money. You’re just spending it on other things.”

Me: *deadpan* “Yes, like rent. And food.”

(The man didn’t seem to comprehend that not everyone can afford to go overseas at all, much less for a year!)