Have A Heart, Use Your Brain

[florida80]

Benzo Combo No No
PHARMACY, USA, VIRGINIA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 11, 2018
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(I work in a popular chain pharmacy/convenience store as a pharmacy technician. It is a week before Christmas and patients are swarming in to get medications refilled before they depart for the holidays. I’m currently working at a prescription filling station that is directly across from where the pharmacist verifies them, allowing us to talk as we work. Another technician takes in a couple of prescriptions and preps them for data entry; however, when the pharmacist spots them, he immediately sees a problem.)

Pharmacist: “Whoa, I am not filling this.”

Other Technician: “Why, what’s up?”

Pharmacist: “This drug combo, carisoprodol, benzo, and an opiate…”

Me: “Bad combo?”

Pharmacist: “It’s outright lethal. I need to speak with the patient.”

(We try to page the patient back to the pharmacy via the store intercom, but it appears that they’ve already left. The pharmacist decides to contact the doctor who prescribed the drug trio to alert them to the potentially fatal consequences. He immediately identifies this doctor as being a sketchy one that he has dealt with in the past. Nonetheless, he steels himself for the call and gets him on the line.)

Pharmacist: “Hi, I’m calling because of a couple of prescriptions that you’ve prescribed for [Patient]. When taken together these drugs are a potentially lethal combo. I wanted to see if perhaps we could if we could get the carisoprodol switched to, say Flexeril.”

Doctor: “There’s been no issues in the past.”

Pharmacist: “Right… but you are aware that is THE Unholy Trinity of drugs, correct? If nothing has happened previously then great, but all it takes is a single time or misstep and the patient is going to die. I highly suggest a switch here.”

Doctor: “I don’t want to do that.”

Pharmacist: *blinks* “So, just so we’re on the same page, you want to knowingly prescribe this potentially deadly combo to the patient, rather than switching?”

Doctor: “I’ve already discussed it with the patient. It’s fine.”

Pharmacist: “Okay, well, I’m going to notify the patient of your decision and make them aware of what’s going on here. I need to cover my bases.”

Doctor: “All right, sure.”

(The pharmacist was shocked by the nonchalant nature of the doctor, but decided to follow his gut instinct and not fill all three scripts. While there are noted instances of patients taking these drugs together, they are few and far between, and the benefits do not outweigh the risks; finally, the sketchy nature of the doctor meant that the pharmacist was less than comfortable doing so. He notified the patient of the situation (who seemed more disappointed with the fact that we wouldn’t fill all three drugs than with the fact that the combo was lethal) and wrote a note on the prescription stating that it was denied as well as our contact number should the patient try to have it filled elsewhere.)

[florida80]

Who Prescribed Some Madness?
ENGLAND, PHARMACY, UK | HEALTHY | JANUARY 4, 2018
(We have a new member of staff at the pharmacy and we’ve got a number of regulars who come in to get their weekly medications, often quite a few items. This employee somehow gets it into her head that anyone with a weekly prescription is a drug abuser. One of our regulars is on a lot of different pain medications.)

Regular: “Good morning! I’m here to pick up my prescriptions. My name is [Regular].”

(The new staff member goes out to the back of the store and comes back out a few minutes later.)

New Staff: “No, there isn’t anything.”

Regular: “I pick this up every week, and I know I have at least three months’ worth of repeats for all these from the doctor.”

New Staff: “No. No, we have nothing.”

Regular: *spotting our pharmacist who knows her very well* “Hi, [Pharmacist]! Got my weekly meds?”

Pharmacist: “Oh, yeah. I did them yesterday—”

New Staff: “No! No, you didn’t. We have nothing!” *to Regular* “You need to leave; we have nothing for you!”

Pharmacist: “Don’t be daft. I’ll go fetch them.” *heads to the back and comes out with a large bag* “Can I just check your address and date of birth?”

Regular: *gives details*

Pharmacist: “Yup, here you go. See you next week!”

New Staff: “I told her we had nothing! Why did you make me look like a liar?!”

Pharmacist: “Because you were lying? [Regular] comes in every week and I always have her meds done.”

New Staff: “I saw what she’s on. She’s a f****** druggie. You shouldn’t enable these people.”

Regular: “I beg your pardon?”

Pharmacist: “Okay, we do not treat customers like that. Whatever personal views you have on certain medications, you leave those views at home.”

New Staff: “She’s a druggie. Why would anyone else need [strong pain medication]?”

Regular: “Because half my lower spine was smashed in an accident and I live in constant, agonising pain?”

New Staff: “Shut up, druggie.”

Pharmacist: “Right. That’s it. Go home.”

(She was fired that day, and officially cautioned by the police when for two weeks afterward she kept hanging around the pharmacy entrance waiting for our regular customer so she could yell at them some more. We know this because she told EVERY other customer entering our store. Luckily, our regular has a good sense of humour and just laughed off the whole episode.)

[florida80]

At A Hair-Loss For Words
FINLAND, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | JANUARY 3, 2018
(The men in my family tend to start suffering from hair loss in their mid-20s, and mine seems to have started, so I go to a nearby pharmacy to buy certain shampoo recommended by my stepfather. Note that I have grown my hair for a few years and it’s currently some 18 to 20 inches long.)

Employee: “Hello, can I help you with anything?”

Me: “Yes, I was looking for certain shampoo but don’t remember the name of the product.”

Employee: “What kind of shampoo? For dry hair, or–”

Me: “For hair loss.”

Employee: *goes silent and stares at my long hair, then grabs a bottle off a shelf* “Well, we have this one.”

Me: “That’s the product; thank you!”

(I only realized what had happened after I got back home.)

[florida80]

Seriously Off Her Meds
BAD BEHAVIOR, BIZARRE, MASSACHUSETTS, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 14, 2018
(I’m a pharmacist at a small, but very busy, chain store. I am working the register along with one of the technicians, due to us being understaffed.)

Me: “Hi! How are you doing today, ma’am?”

Customer: “Israel!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Israel!”

(At the pharmacy register, in order to pick up a prescription, we must be provided with the first and last name, along with the date of birth.)

Me: “Is that your name, ma’am?”

Customer: “Israel!”

Me: *getting frustrated since there is a line behind her going up two aisles* “May I please have your name?”

Customer: “Israel! My name is Israel!”

Me: “Okay, thank you. May I please have your last name?”

Customer: “Israel!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I misunderstood. I thought your first name was Israel. Could I please have your first name, then?”

Customer: “Israel! My name is Israel! What do you not understand? This is ridiculous! I demand to speak to the pharmacist!”

Me: *trying not to scream* “I’m very sorry, ma’am. I am the pharmacist. I just need your first and last name in order to view your profile. Could you please give me your first name followed by your last?”

Customer: *she is now screaming at this point* “This is unbelievable!”

(She looks at the people in line behind her for support. They all give me a sympathetic look, instead.)

Customer: “From now on, I’m taking my business to [Other Retail Chain Pharmacy]!”

Me: “I’m very sorry for the inconvenience, ma’am. Could I please have your first and last name, in order to speed up the transaction? We are quite busy today.”

Customer: “Israel! My name is Israel! Israel [Last Name].”

(Now that I finally have her first and last name in the system, I am prompted with the screen that asks for the date of birth.)

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. And could I have your date of birth, please?”

Customer: “What kind of pharmacy is this?! What will you want next? My social security number?!”

Me: “That won’t be necessary, ma’am.”

(By this time, the technician at the register next to me has gone through about three patients, while I am still with this lady.)

Customer: “My birthday is [date]!”

Me: “All right, thank you. It looks like we have three prescriptions ready for you. Let me go get those for you.” *I fetch the prescriptions and finish the transaction fairly normally* “All right, ma’am. Before you leave, do you have any questions about the medications?”

Customer: “Yes. I would like to speak to the pharmacist!”

Me: “I am the pharmacist, ma’am.”

Customer: “No, you’re not!”

Me: “I can assure you that I am, in fact, the pharmacist, ma’am.”

Customer: *all disgruntled* “Well… Well… I want to speak to the pharmacist who was here yesterday! Where is he?!”

Me: “That was our other pharmacist.”

Customer: “Well, I demand to speak to him! Go fetch him!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. He isn’t here today.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I have nothing but trouble at this store!”

Me: “I’m sorry that you feel that way, ma’am. I can answer any questions that you have about the medication, though.”

Customer: “No! I’ll just die! No one can tell me how to take this medication! You don’t even have a pharmacist here! I’m going to die because of your incompetence!”

Me: “Ma’am, as I’ve said, I am the pharmacist, and I would be more than happy to walk you through the proper way to take your medications. If you would like, you can come back tomorrow, too, and the other pharmacist will be here.”

Customer: “Fine! Show me, since you think I’m too stupid to take my own medications!”

Me: “I never said you were too stupid, ma’am.”

Customer: “Yes, you did! But whatever. Show me!”

(I instructed the lady on how to take her medications, and she finally walked away. Shortly after, the store manager came down to the pharmacy asking what happened. I asked what he was referring to and he stated that a lady was complaining that I “verbally and mentally abused her.”)

[florida80]

Stop And Think For A Period
HOBART, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PHARMACY, TASMANIA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 5, 2018
(In Australia, purchasing certain medications requires the cashier, by law, to ascertain for whom the medication is intended and whether or not they’ve used the medication before. It’s about half an hour before closing time and it’s been a busy day, so I’m running on autopilot, when a man comes up to the counter.)

Male Customer: “Can I have some [period pain medication], please?”

Me: “Sure. That’s just for yourself, and you’ve used it before?”

[florida80]

Not Banking On That Pharmacy
JERK, MONEY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | JANUARY 31, 2018
(I work in a regional pharmacy and convenience store chain. One of the services we offer is check cashing, but with a hefty fee, since we are not a bank. The minimum fee is $3, and it shifts to 2% of the check for any amount over $150. The fee is automatically deducted from the check total, and we give the customer the difference. A woman comes in on a Sunday afternoon, demanding we cash her check. Instead of going to customer service, she heads to the pharmacy counter and tries to give them her check. The head pharmacist calls down to me that I will have a customer soon.)

Me: “Hello! You want a check cashed?”

(The customer, an elderly woman, pushes the check at me with a humph.)

Customer: “Yes, that one. My daughter is in town from DC, and I have to take her out to dinner.”

Me: *punching in the check total to get the fee amount* “All right, the fee for check cashing is 2% of the check, so for $259.50, it’s going to be a $5.19 fee.”

Customer: “You’re kidding! Well! This is the last time I do this; I’m pulling out all my prescriptions!”

Me: *thinking that’s a weird knee-jerk reaction* “Okay. Did you still want to cash this check?”

Customer: “Well, yes! I have to take my daughter out to dinner! She came up here from DC! This is ridiculous; I want to talk to a manager! You don’t do this to loyal customers. I’m going to pull out all my prescriptions, and I have a lot!”

(I page the manager while she fumes, repeatedly going back to her prescriptions and how she is going to take them all out first thing tomorrow morning. The manager walks in, and she starts berating him, too.)

Customer: “I have been a customer here for years. You don’t charge loyal customers $5 for cashing checks! I’m going to pull out my prescriptions!”

Manager: “That’s not our fee; the check cashing company sets that. It’s the fee they charge for using their services.”

(The customer humphs for a bit while the manager goes through the procedure, which is tedious and done on a separate machine. She goes silent for a moment before perking back up, turning to me while pointing at the manager.)

Customer: “No! Who’s above him? Who’s the highest manager?!”

Manager: “The store manager.”

Customer: “And who is that?”

Me: “[Store Manager].”

Customer: “Is he here?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Is he here tomorrow?!”

Manager: “Yes, [Store Manager] will be in tomorrow.”

Customer: “Good! I’m going to get my money back and pull out all my prescriptions!”

(We hand her the keypad to put in her social security number, and she acts like it’s the most complex device she’s ever used. It’s a nine-digit keypad with a green button and a red button. All you have to do is type the number, hit the green button, type the number again for confirmation, and hit the green button again. It takes a lot of prodding, interspersed with, “What do I do now?!” We also have to key in her driver’s license, the confirmation code from the receipt, the state, the day of the transaction, and so forth.)

Customer: “Why is this taking so long?!“

Me: “It’s a process. We have to go through extra steps and security, since we aren’t a bank.”

Customer: “Well, who do I talk to about pulling out my prescriptions?”

Me: “The pharmacy.”

(She goes strangely quiet after that, letting us complete the transaction with minor grumbling. I count out the amount of the check, minus the fee, making sure I am on camera as I do. I proceed to lay it flat on the counter to show her while I count it again, but she snatches it from me.)

Customer: “No! I’ll count it! I can’t wait to come in tomorrow and talk to your manager! I’m going to pull out all my prescriptions!”

(She finally takes her money and storms off. The head pharmacist pokes his head in.)

Pharmacist: “So, how’d that go?”

(I relay the whole story and he just laughs, shaking his head. He goes on to tell me how she’s been a chronic pain in the pharmacy’s neck for years.)

Pharmacist: “She always says that. If I had a dollar for every time she threatened to pull out her prescriptions, I’d be a lot closer to retirement.”

[florida80]

At Least It’s Still Just A Penny For Your Thoughts
MONEY, OVERHEARD, PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 24, 2018
(I am in line waiting to pick up a prescription. The customer at the register is taking longer than usual. The worker tells him to step to the side while they try to sort out the problem. I overhear this between the man who is picking up the prescription and his friend.)

Friend: “It’s only three dollars.”

Man: “I ain’t got that kind of money. Do you know anybody with that kind of money? These is crazy times we live in.”

[florida80]

Going For The Condom Minimum
BIZARRE, GROCERY STORE, MISSOURI, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 22, 2018
(A woman comes up to our night cashier.)

Customer: “I need assistance at the pharmacy case.”

(The cashier pages me to the pharmacy case, as I’m the only one with the key after the pharmacist leaves. I arrive at the case.)

Me: “What items do you need?”

Customer: *hesitates for a moment* “I need condoms.”

Me: *opens the case* “You’re welcome to pick out any of the boxes that you’d like.”

(She picks up a few different boxes, shakes each one, then sets it back down. Then, she turns to me and asks:)

Customer: “Do you know which one of these feels the best for guys?”

Me: *more confused than surprised by the question* “I’m sorry. I’m afraid I can’t help you there.”

Customer: “Do you know which one fits best, then?”

Me: “I can’t help you with that. I’ve never used any of those.”

Customer: *exasperated sigh* “Oh, well. Better safe than sorry.”

(She put the condoms down, grabbed a pregnancy test, and walked away without another word.)

[florida80]

It’s A Man’s World Of Pain
AUSTRALIA, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, MELBOURNE, NON-DIALOGUE, PHARMACY, VICTORIA | HEALTHY | MARCH 12, 2018
I have an eight-and-a-bit-month-old child, and I’ve been having some pain during sex, so I book in to see my OB-GYN.

The appointment is really straightforward and I’m told to go get a cream. I also have a birth control rod inserted whilst I’m there. I wander over to the pharmacy and hand over my script. I’m not asked for my Medicare card, but I’m asked if I have concession.

I reply no, with no more thought into the answer. I wait and collect my script and note that I’ve been charged a concession price. Not thinking too much into it, and thinking that I must have one linked to my Medicare card, I pay the $12.80 instead of $50 to $80 for my items and head back across the road.

I get the rod implanted and continue about my day, a bit perplexed how I got charged concession. It’s not until later that night when I’m reading the script again that I realise they’ve put it under the wrong name. I’m a Mrs. [My Name], and they put it under a Mr. [Same Name].

I burst out laughing that they have given a man vaginal cream and contraception, at an OB-GYN.

[florida80]

A Picture Of Bad Parenting
BAD BEHAVIOR, BIZARRE, KENTUCKY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MARCH 8, 2018
(I go into the store to pick up some photo prints I ordered online. Unfortunately, before I can get to the counter another customer beats me to the unmanned counter. As she approaches she immediately begins yelling.)

Customer: “CAN SOMEONE COME OVER HERE AND HELP ME?!”

(An employee approaches the counter.)

Customer: “I ordered these prints online; I need them.”

Employee: “Okay, what name are they under?”

Customer: “I don’t know; I don’t know if they made it.”

Employee: “You don’t know?”

Customer: “I used this app and it won’t send. You need to just do it.”

Employee: “I’m sorry. We aren’t allowed to—”

Customer: *sighs dramatically* “Well, what am I supposed to do?”

Employee: “You need to click on—”

Customer: “I already did that.”

Employee: “Well, try it again.”

Customer: “There, see? Now what?!”

Employee: “So, now, you need to—”

Customer: “This is stupid! I’m just going to go back to the main menu. So, what do I do from here?”

(The employee attempts several times to guide the customer through the process, and she continues to cut her off and ignore her suggestions. The customer appears to be in a huge hurry, and is obviously aggravated. Finally, after a few minutes.)

Customer: *about the app* “This is a joke. This is a total joke. Fine. Whatever. We’ll do this on Facebook.” *she takes a few minutes to find the picture she wants, all the while muttering* “I left those kids at the park. I left those d*** kids at the park… There, this picture. Can I just crop everyone out except this one person?”

Employee: “Well, what that will do is it will still be the same size and—”

Customer: “Is there any other way we can do this?!”

Employee: “You can hook your phone up to the photo kiosk, but it will download all of your photos.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I can’t get this Internet to work. My man is going to kill me; I left those d*** kids at the park.”

Employee: “We don’t get a good connection in the store.”

Customer: “I HAVE WI-FI.”

Employee: “We don’t have Wi-Fi here.”

Customer: “YOU MEAN I’M GOING TO HAVE TO GO OUT TO MY CAR TO GET ON THE INTERNET?!”

Employee: “You probably would have better luck in the back of the parking lot, yes.”

Customer: *stomps out while muttering* “I left those kids at the park.”

(I still can’t understand what could possibly be so important about this picture that she had to leave her children at the park to go get it!)

[florida80]

Vie For A Vial
CALIFORNIA, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, JERK, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MARCH 6, 2018
(I just started working at a small, independent pharmacy. It’s located in the downtown area of a small town that is predominantly upper-middle-class families. And with that population, we get patients in that ask for a bit more specific requests than what I’m used to. I have just started and am being trained when I overhear this conversation with my technician. Note: since we are small pharmacy, profit margins are tight, so for expensive medications, we don’t open the bottles and fill them until the patient has come to pick up and paid. We pride ourselves on customer service, doing almost anything for the customer.)

Customer: “I’m here to pick up for [Customer].”

Tech: “All right, just give me a few moments to pour these bottles into the vial.”

(She is getting over 400 tablets of the medication.)

Customer: “Let me see what you’re putting it in.”

Tech: *shows the vial* “Will this one be good for you?”

Customer: “No! That one is too tall; I’m going to spill it.

Tech: *shows different vial* “What about this one?”

Customer: “No! It’s too short; I’m going to lose it.”

Tech: *shows another vial* “This one? I can fit it in two of them.”

Customer: “I don’t want to; that’s too much!”

(This repeats for a couple minutes, going over various vials, usually the same one, multiple times, the customer making up some random excuse.)

Tech: *showing her the first vial* “What about this one?”

Customer: “Yes! That one is perfect!”

(The tech finishes up putting her medications together and the patient leaves.)

Me: “How did you handle that without freaking out?”

Tech: “I was about to punch her in her face if she said no to another one of these stupid bottles.”

[florida80]

Needs To Prescribe Some Anger-Management
GERMANY, JERK, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | MARCH 3, 2018
(I work at a call centre for a German online pharmacy. Unlike other pharmacies, we allow customers to pre-order medicines which requires prescriptions. It should go without saying, but we’re not allowed to ship orders that contain a prescription, until the original is sent to us by a postal service. There are also no shipping costs for our customer, if there is a prescription.)

Me: “Your [Pharmacy]. You are speaking with [My Name].”

Customer: “I placed an order last week at your store and it still hasn’t arrived. Where is it?”

Me: “Oh, that doesn’t sound so good. Could you please tell me your order number?”

(The customer doesn’t have it, so I search for her by name. It takes me a while to find her, as she has a very common name and doesn’t want to give me her postal code.)

Me: “Ah, there we have you. I’m afraid your prescription for [Medicine] hasn’t arrived yet.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! I do not need a prescription for that order! Send them to me at once!”

(I try to stay cool.)

Me: “Ma’am, [Medicine] requires a prescription, by law. We cannot deliver this order until we have the original prescription.”

Customer: “Then you should at least have told me so!”

Me: “Our online store has classified this item as one that requires a prescription. You have also received an order confirmation that asks you for your prescription.”

Customer: “No, I never received a confirmation, so don’t dare lie to me!”

Me: “Uh… Ma’am, I do not understand; you received the confirmation on [date and time].”

Customer: “No, I never did; I’ll show you!”

(I can hear her typing and the sound of a mail program opening. She waits for a moment, and then she starts mumbling to herself.)

Customer: “’Dear Mrs. [Name], thank you for your order. Please send us your your original prescription by mail, so we can continue with that order.’”

(The customer wheezes angrily.)

Customer: “This is way too complicated with your store! Other pharmacies will send them to me immediately!”

Me: “Ma’am, even other pharmacies have to wait for your prescription, as [Medicine] requires one.”

Customer: “I will never order at your store ever again! I’ve never been insulted this badly in my entire life!”

(The customer called the next day. She made a new order without the prescription and asked if that was all right.)

[florida80]

Sarah Connor’s Pharmacy Job
BOSSES & OWNERS, CANADA, EMPLOYEES, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, JERK, ONTARIO, PHARMACY | WORKING | FEBRUARY 21, 2018
(I get a job at a small pharmacy as a cashier. The job involves a lot more than just simple cashiering, but I catch on quite quickly, and within a month the possibility of increasing my hours is discussed. The store then goes under new owners, but all the cashiers are kept on staff, and assured that their jobs are secure. Fast forward to my next shift. This takes place in July.)

Owner: “[My Name], can you come into the office for a minute? I just want to have a quick word.”

Me: “Sure!” *thinking the uniforms he ordered for us had come in*

Owner: “I’ve been thinking it over, and this really isn’t a job that can be done part-time. In order to stay up to date on all the policies and information, everyone really has to be here full-time. With all the students leaving soon to go back to school, I’ve decided that it would be easiest to let all the students go now.”

Me: “Okay…” *thinking I’m about to be offered the full-time position, as I’m not a student*

Owner: “I’m sorry; I just find it easiest to terminate people before their shift starts.”

Me: “Wait. What?”

Owner: “As of right now, you’re terminated.”

Me: “But I’m not a student.”

Owner: *shocked* “What?! You’re not?”

Me: “No. I’ve been out of high school for a few years, and am holding off on going to college.”

Owner: “Oh, nobody told me that.”

Me: “So, is there any way I could be kept on, full-time?”

Owner: “I would have to think about it.”

Me: *blank look*

Owner: “You see, I already filled the full-time positions, and filed the termination paperwork. If you want to reapply, I’ll consider rehiring you if something falls through with one of the new employees, but all but one have already accepted the job, and I already offered it to the other one.”

Me: “Okay, then. When does the termination take effect?”

Owner: “Right now. I did it now because it’s easiest to do it, and get it done within the first three months.”

(I was too shocked in the moment to say anything, but once I processed what had happened, I was — and still am — livid. How incompetent must one be to skip something so basic as reading employee files BEFORE terminating them, to ensure they’re actually being fired for a legitimate reason?)

[florida80]

Looks Like They Already Had Their Drugs
NEW YORK, PHARMACY, RUDE & RISQUE, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 19, 2018
(I have just started my first job at a local pharmacy and convenience store, and it is my third day of training. I am standing behind the counter with an older coworker of mine. We hear the door open, and look over.)

Customer: *quickly walks through the doors and to the other end of the floor, where the pharmacy is*

Me: *looking at my coworker* “Was she…”

Coworker: *taking a sip of an energy drink* “…not wearing any pants? Welcome to the job, kid.”

Me: “…”

[florida80]

At Least You Know The Medicine Is Kosher
NEW YORK, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | APRIL 16, 2018
(I am the dumb customer in this instance. The store that I work at has a pharmacy in it, where I get all of my medications. The store has a policy in the pharmacy where the first three letters of the customers names are printed on the bags you pick up your prescriptions in. The first time I go to pick up a prescription there, I have never seen this before. Upon picking up my prescription, I see the first three letters of my last name.)

Prescription: “JEW.”

Me: *in genuine confusion* “No, I’m not?”

[florida80]

When You Work For Them You’re Branded
BOSSES & OWNERS, INDIANA, NEW HIRES, PHARMACY, USA | WORKING | APRIL 9, 2018
(I get hired for [Popular Pharmacy Chain] and go through their training. It’s all through their computer system, with videos and quizzes. There’s a thirty-minute session on “branded greetings,” which explains how I have to say the same things during every transaction so customers always have a uniform experience at every store in the chain. I feel like a robot doing this, but I’m good at the spiel after about a week. Then, my manager pulls me aside.)

Manager: “Why are you using branded greetings?”

Me: *thinking this is a test* “Um… so that every customer gets the same treatment at every store and we deliver a uniform experience.”

Manager: “We haven’t used those in years. People said we sounded like robots, and corporate made us stop.”

Me: “Well, it’s still in the training.”

Manager: “Oh, well, you don’t have to do that anymore. I apparently have to update the training software.” *runs off*

Me: *facepalm*

[florida80]

Not Passing With Flying Colors
DUBLIN, EMPLOYEES, IRELAND, JERK, PHARMACY | WORKING | APRIL 3, 2018
(I am in a well-known UK-based pharmacy and drugstore, looking for a hand cream. I am wearing ripped jeans, combat boots, and a leather jacket, and have very short hair. I smile at the staff as I walk in and set off in search of the right aisle, minding my own business. As I open a tube to smell the cream, the worker beside the door rushes up and snatches the bottle out of my hand.)

Worker: “Can you not open the products? What are you looking for?”

Me: “Oh, sorry, I was just smelling it. I’m fine, thanks.”

(I think that’s the end of it, as she stalks off. I pick up my items and turn the corner, checking out the makeup. As I swatch a lipstick tester, the same worker storms up and glares at me.)

Worker: “I said don’t open the products! You’ll have to pay for it now!”

Me: “Excuse me? This is a tester, and I haven’t even touched it yet!”

Worker: “Fine. Sit down. I’ll match a colour to you. You clearly need it; whoever matched your current foundation must be colour-blind.”

Me: *taken aback by the sheer rudeness of this woman* “Er. No, thanks.”

(I walked away, irritated, but still with some time to kill before my bus home, so I browsed some other items. I could see the worker following me closely and glaring if I so much as reached out towards a product. Eventually, I had enough. I went to the till, with her following. The girl at the checkout scanned my items and my loyalty card and told me my total. As I handed her my money, the rude worker stormed over and grabbed the iodine pen, scribbling all over my note, a smug grin on her face. I waited as nothing happened to my money, and silently fumed as I was handed my receipt. I felt her glare boring into my back as I left the shop, seriously having to bite down on my tongue to stop myself from yelling at her. I get that workers are supposed to upsell and offer assistance, but judging me outright by my appearance, being incredibly rude about my makeup, and being convinced I’m a thief with no reason is taking it a bit far.)

[florida80]

Would You Like A Cosmo With Your Allergy Bran?
HOLIDAYS, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, LOUISIANA, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | APRIL 1, 2018
(It’s Easter Sunday. My parents, my grandmother, and I are coming back from an early dinner out at an uptown restaurant and we stop to pick up some prescriptions for my grandmother at an old pharmacy where the restroom is in the back room. This exchange occurs just as I exit the back room after using the restroom.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I’m looking for [Specific Allergy Brand], but I can’t find it, and this is the allergy aisle. Would it be anywhere else?”

Me: “I have no idea, sorry. Um, good luck.”

(The customer muttered something under her breath that I couldn’t hear as I was walking away. During this exchange I was wearing a cocktail dress and heels, and she looked right at me as she was asking her question.)

[florida80]

Spells Something Else Entirely
CALIFORNIA, FUNNY NAMES, PHARMACY, SACRAMENTO, USA, WORDPLAY | RIGHT | MAY 19, 2018
(I’m the customer in this story. I’ve just seen my doctor for the first time, and she’s sent down a prescription for me to the pharmacy downstairs. I make it up to the window, and there are a ton of people down there, so it’s a little noisy.)

Clerk: “It looks like your prescription isn’t ready yet, but I’m going to write down your name so we can call you when it’s ready. Can you give me your name?”

Me: *gives name*

Clerk: “And who’s your doctor?”

Me: “Dr. Fu.”

Clerk: “Sorry, it’s a little loud, I didn’t quite hear that. Can you spell your doctor’s name for me?”

Me: “Sure. It’s F-U.” *pause* “Oh, my God, that’s not what I meant!”

Clerk: *laughs*

[florida80]

When Double Trouble Is Not Enough
FUNNY KIDS, PHARMACY, SIBLINGS, USA | RELATED | MAY 11, 2018
(I’m waiting in line for the cashier when a woman walks up behind me with two boys. They’re junior-high-aged and alike as two peas in a pod.)

Woman: “[Boy #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ], you keep our place in line while I take [Boy #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] over to look at the braces.”

(She walks off with the other lad.)

Me: “So, is it fun being a twin?”

Boy #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : *grinning* “We aren’t twins.”

Me: “…”

Boy #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : *grinning even more hugely* “We’re triplets!“

[florida80]

Spoon-Feeding You Some Advice
HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | MAY 9, 2018
(Sadly, I’m the stupid customer in this one. I have bronchitis and have just made it home from the pharmacy with my cough syrup. When I open the bag, I notice the cup that you use to take the medicine isn’t in there, so I call the pharmacy.)

Pharmacist: “Thank you for calling [Pharmacy]. This is [Pharmacist]. How can I help you?”

Me: “Hi. This is [My Name]. I just picked up my prescription for [cough syrup], and when I got home I saw that it didn’t have the cup thing you use to take it with.”

Pharmacist: “I’m sorry, [My Name]. Do you want to come back and pick one up?”

Me: “Well, I have to take the bus, and I don’t want to get everyone else sick, too.”

Pharmacist: “Okay, well, do you bake?”

Me: *slightly confused* “Yes?”

Pharmacist: “Then you can use the teaspoon measuring spoon from your baking set.”

Me: “But… but… I need medicine teaspoons, not baking teaspoons.”

(She then proceeded to calmly explain to me that teaspoons were teaspoons, no matter what they were used for.)

[florida80]

Prescribing Some Honesty
CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, OHIO, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MAY 4, 2018
(I work in the pharmacy of a large drug store chain. A few weeks prior to this incident, a man came in and was acting twitchy. He eventually shoved some greeting cards down his pants and put a beer in his pocket before leaving. Shoplifting is hard to prove, but we got it on camera. On a day I am working, he comes back in with some prescriptions. I start putting them in; I have no idea about the previous incident.)

Lead Tech: “Stop! Don’t fill his stuff. [Manager] said since we got him stealing on camera, we can ask him to leave.”

(He goes to alert the pharmacist of the situation.)

Pharmacist: “[Shoplifter]! I am sorry, but I can’t fill this prescription for you.”

Shoplifter: “Why not? I need my medicine.”

Pharmacist: “Sir, last time you were in, we caught you stealing on camera, and we are choosing not to serve you. Please take your prescriptions elsewhere.” *hands him back his papers*

Shoplifter: *takes them* “It was only a beer!”

(He did end up taking his prescriptions and leaving, and the pharmacist filled me in on the previous incident. We were all so shocked that he admitted to stealing, and then also tried to act like it was okay!)

[florida80]

Name Change Approved
AUSTRALIA, HOBART, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, TASMANIA, WORDPLAY | HEALTHY | MAY 4, 2018
(A customer is picking up a regular prescription medication but he also wants something else.)

Customer: “Can I also have some ‘Stuffy Nose Squirts’?”

(He wanted a decongestant nasal spray.)

[florida80]

Medical Bills Paid By Friends’ Bills
ALBERTA, CALGARY, CANADA, INSPIRATIONAL, KIND STRANGERS, PHARMACY | HOPELESS | MAY 30, 2018
(I stop in the pharmacy to get some medications for my husband, who recently lost his job because of a medical condition. We were already on income support because I am physically disabled and this has been a hard hit to our income. We just found out the income support system is about to revoke our benefits unless we can prove that he does not willfully leave his job by the end of the month. With a toddler and both of us needing the medical coverage, this is terrifying. Our normal doctor is on maternity leave until January of next year and her covers won’t help us because they don’t want to deal with the system. The same story goes with every doctor we see. They all insist they need to have been seeing us for at least three months before they’ll even consider it. Neither of us have any family or support, as we were both runaways from abuse. By this point, I am counting change, trying to figure out if I have enough to get the medication we both desperately need.)

Stranger: *taps me on the shoulder* “Hey, let me get that for you.” *tries to shove a ten dollar bill in my hand*

Me: *close to tears* “Oh, no! I really can’t. Thanks, anyway.” *tries to give it back*

Stranger: “Nah, keep it. Or, hey, tell you what…” *hands me a twenty and takes the ten back* “There. Fair trade.”

(By now I was seriously crying and didn’t notice the older man’s mother coming up beside me. Gently she took me by the elbow and they both lead me away from the pharmacy counter. They started asking me questions and I admitted that we were struggling and how scared I was. They started brainstorming between the two of them and gave me numbers to doctors they trusted. They took my email and gave me their phone numbers just in case. As a last thing, they took the twenty-dollar bill, and the man shoved a bunch of money into my bag, saying he wouldn’t take no for an answer and just to pass it on when I had the chance to help someone else. I realized that yes, I needed that help right then. I stopped fighting, figuring it was at most forty bucks but would help pay my kid’s school fees. When I got home and took the money out, I was shocked to see that instead of just a small amount, he’d put five hundred dollars into my bag. That money did help keep us afloat for the next week as we paid bills. We finally found a doctor willing to help us and our income has since stabilized. I told the stranger, who is now a supporter and friend, that we’d pay him back. He refused and told me to help others, instead. I plan to.)

[florida80]

Those Poor, Poor, Dolphins
BIZARRE, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 28, 2018
(It’s my second day working for a pharmacy at a local grocery store. We have a display near the register that has animal-themed thermometers like dolphins, seals, whales, etc. A woman walks up and picks up a dolphin thermometer, looking at it for a good minute or so.)

Me: “Hi, did you need help with anything?”

Woman: “Yeah, are these for rectal use?”

[florida80]

Butt-Hurt About The Butt-Cream
BAD BEHAVIOR, OHIO, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 26, 2018
(I work in a pharmacy in a large box store. On Sundays, when only one pharmacist is on duty, the pharmacy shuts down for them to take a lunch break. This story is related to me by one of the pharmacists. The gate is down, but can sort of be seen through, and the pharmacist can be glimpsed through the holes.)

Lady: *at the top of her voice* “HEY! HEY, YOU! ARE YOU OPEN?!”

Pharmacist: “Uh, no, ma’am, we reopen in ten minutes. Please come back then.”

Lady: “IT’LL ONLY TAKE A MINUTE! I NEED SOME BUTT CREAM!”

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, we’re closed! Please come back in ten minutes.”

Lady: “BUTT! CREAM! JUST GIVE ME SOME G**D*** BUTT CREAM!”

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, we’re closed! We’ll reopen in ten minutes!”

Lady: “THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I JUST NEED SOME BUTT CREAM!”

(She finally stormed off… two minutes before we reopened for business.)

[florida80]

What A Baka!
BOSSES & OWNERS, CANADA, JERK, MONTREAL, PHARMACY, WORDPLAY | WORKING | MAY 21, 2018
(My supervisor is known for being quite a nit-pick and strictly following rules that don’t actually exist. Also, I’ve taken a few years of Japanese classes. One day, I get a Japanese customer at my register while my supervisor is filling a display right behind me. The customer and I chat in Japanese while I scan his items, and he asks to pay with his credit card. By company policy, we have to check an ID for every foreign credit card. The customer complies and hands me his Japanese driver license, because he forgot his passport at the hotel. I confirm that the credit card is his, and I am about to hand him his license back.)

Supervisor: “Wait! What are you doing?” *snatches the license from my hand* “You can’t accept this!”

Me: “Why is that? I know that it isn’t a passport, but this is a government-issued ID, and his picture is on it, so I don’t see why I can’t accept it.”

Supervisor: “Well, this ID is not in our alphabet! You can only accept IDs written in our alphabet.”

Me: “First, since when is this a rule? Second, you’ve heard me speak with him for the past two minutes; you know that I speak the language. I can read this, and confirm that the credit card is his.”

Supervisor: “It has to be in our alphabet! You have to be able to read it to accept it.”

Me: “But… [Supervisor], I can read it!”

Supervisor: “Hmph, I’ll let it slide for today, but don’t do that again!”

(I asked the store manager the next day. That rule doesn’t exist.)

[florida80]

Smoking Puts You Out Of Sync
LAZY/UNHELPFUL, NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MAY 21, 2018
(At the pharmacy where I work, we sell cigarettes, among other things. This exchange happens more often than I’d like to admit.)

Customer: “Can I get [Brand] cigarettes?”

(The customer does not specify which strength or flavor of the cigarettes, as we have many.)

Me: “Which kind?”

Customer: “[Brand].”

Me: “Which type of [Brand]?”

Customer: “Oh! [Strength].”

Me: “Okay, would you like the box, soft pack, or 100s?”

Customer: “[Strength].”

Me: “Box it is.”

Customer: “I want 100s!”

Me: *screaming internally*

[florida80]

They Must Get Lost Driving To The AMC
NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | JULY 3, 2018
(My aunt works at the pharmacy in a CVS, and often comes home with hilarious stories about customers or doctor offices. This one in particular I find incredibly stupid.)

Aunt: “Hello, this is [Aunt] from CVS. I need to order a refill for [Medication] for [Patient].”

Doctor’s Office: “Where are you calling from?”

Aunt: “CVS.”

Doctor’s Office: “Can you spell that?”

Aunt: “Um… C-V-S.”

Doctor’s Office: “Where? Spell it?”

Aunt: “C as in ‘cat,’ V as in ‘Victor,’ S like in ‘Sam.’”

Doctor’s Office: “Where?”

(According to her, this went on for five minutes before she finally got the medication ordered. The customer even warned her that the office was awful before she made the call.)

[florida80]

You’re Boxing Me In Here
AUSTRALIA, HOBART, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, STUPID, TASMANIA | HEALTHY | JUNE 27, 2018
(At my pharmacy, we commonly take orders by phone so that a customer’s medications can be ready to collect when they arrive. This phone order, however, is a little different.)

Me: “Good afternoon. This is [Pharmacy]. [My Name] speaking. How can I help?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to order some medications, please.”

Me: “Sure. What do you need?”

Customer: “I can’t remember what they’re called, sorry.”

Me: “That’s okay. We can figure it out. Do you remember what they’re for?”

Customer: “No, sorry. But they come in a box…”

[florida80]

Mayor Of Candyland Shouldn’t Mix Up His Candies
BIZARRE, EMPLOYEES, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, PITTSBURGH, USA | RIGHT | JUNE 26, 2018
(I work in a pharmacy. I have a regular customer who is rather eccentric, and usually wears the same clothing: a raccoon fur cap — complete with tail — and a denim jacket covered in buttons and patches depicting his niche interests. He also usually rides a store-provided mobility scooter. This day, he comes in wearing a pinstripe suit, a faux velvet top hat, and a plastic pendant on a red ribbon of the sort you might find in a child’s Dracula Halloween costume. He is also walking with a cane, not riding the scooter. It’s the end of a long day, and his outfit is so different from usual that I don’t recognize him at first.)

Me: “Hello, sir. May I have your name?”

Regular: *stares at me for a second* “[Regular].”

Me: “Oh! Mr. [Regular]! Sorry, I didn’t recognize you at first. You’re wearing a different hat!”

(I pull up his profile on the computer while exchanging pleasantries.)

Me: “I’m afraid you don’t have any prescriptions ready. Was there one you were expecting?”

Regular: “I just thought I’d stop by and see if any of my automatic refills were ready.”

Me: “Well, let me see…”

(I look at the relevant page of his profile and see that all of his maintenance medications are indeed set to auto-fill, but it’s still a few weeks before they’re due to be filled again.)

Me: “Looks like you should be good for a while. You should get a call when your prescriptions are filled. Do we have your correct phone number on file?” *repeats number*

Regular: “Yep, that’s the one.”

Me: “All right, then you’ll get a call letting you know when your prescriptions are ready. Thanks for stopping by, Mr. [Regular]. It was good to see you!”

(The regular walks away, making quite the picture with his top hat and suit. The next customer in line comes up to my register and stares after the regular for a moment.)

Customer: “Is he the mayor of Candyland?!”

[florida80]

Teenage Scream
CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, PHARMACY, SOUTH CAROLINA, TEENAGERS, USA | RIGHT | JUNE 22, 2018
(I work in a pharmacy. I am filling in as an over-the-counter floor manager while our salaried management is out to meetings. Since I am an hourly supervisor, I am not allowed to do some things, like cash pulls or theft stops, but everything has been smooth throughout the day. It should be noted that at the time of this story, I am several months pregnant, but I am still getting around normally. I am crouching behind the counter for supplies when I hear a customer walk by.)

Me: *popping my head just over the counter* “Good morning!”

Teenage Boy: “Jesus! Uh… hi…”

(The kid looks a bit startled, but I don’t think much of it since I kind of came out of nowhere. I come out from behind the counter to see him flipping through the pegs of condoms. He is acting very sketchy, so I try to stay out of sight but where I can still watch him. Sure enough, he pockets a small pack of condoms. I cut the corner just as he is about to put another pack of condoms in his coat pocket. He drops them on the floor and I exaggeratedly struggle to bend over picking them up.)

Me: *poking my belly out* “Man, let me tell you from experience, I would not recommend this kind.”

(The kid practically ran out of the store, ditching the condoms in his pocket onto a nearby display on the way out.)

[florida80]

Big Spender Is Actually Big Whiner
BAD BEHAVIOR, MASSACHUSETTS, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | JUNE 20, 2018
(It is a somewhat quiet evening. A customer comes in, and I greet her. My manager is standing nearby, and once the customer is out of earshot, she informs me that the customer is well-known for being rude and to call her if I need help. Sure enough, once the customer finishes shopping, she starts.)

Customer: *slams the first of many items onto the counter* “You need to get the manager up here now, because I need a discount.”

Me: *surprised* “Yeah, sure, let me page her now.”

(I page her and ring out the rest of the customer’s items as quickly as I can. My manager walks up from the back.)

Manager: “Hi, what can I help you with?”

Customer: “I need a discount. I have a coupon on my card, but it doesn’t show up when I try to print it, and you need to do something about it.”

(When this happens, it is almost always customer error; either the wrong email is linked to their store card, or they never set one up at all. We will generally input the coupon as long as the customer can show us the email that contains the coupon. Even if the customer can’t get the email up, we will still put it in under special circumstances — if they are buying a decent amount of stuff, are a regular customer, etc.)

Manager: “Okay, that’s fine. Can you pull up the coupon on your phone? I need to see the coupon to be able to put it in.”

Customer: *raising her voice* “WELL, I can try but I don’t know if it’ll work. You need to give me a discount because I spend a lot of money here, and this is unacceptable!”

Manager: *I can tell she is getting agitated* “All right, well, just try to pull that up, because we cannot give discounts without actually seeing the coupon in some form.”

Customer: “Well, I spend a lot of money here!”

(She clicks around on her phone for a minute or two and is able to bring the coupon up, and my manager puts it in and the customer finally pays and leaves.)

Manager: “You know, it’s a good thing she had her coupon, because I wasn’t going to give her the discount if she didn’t. She could have flipped out all she wanted, but I’ll be d***ed if I’m going to reward her s***ty behavior. Oh, and as for spending a lot of money here, she comes in maybe once a month…”

[florida80]

On A Check Trek
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, EMPLOYEES, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, PHARMACY | WORKING | JULY 16, 2018
(I am at the pharmacy picking up my prescriptions, when the pharmacy technician gestures to the bag of syringes that come with.)

Pharmacy Technician: “Are you wanting these, too?”

Me: “They are part of the order, so yes, please.”

Pharmacy Technician: “I’ll have to check on the price.”

Me: “Okay.” *waits for her to go, she stands there*

Pharmacy Technician: “Do you want me to check the price?”

Me: “Um… Yes?”

Pharmacy Technician: “Okay.” *goes to check price and comes back holding the bag* “$1.49!”

Me: “For all of them?”

Pharmacy Technician: “No, only for one.”

Me: “What’s the price on them all?”

Pharmacy Technician: “I’ll have to check that.”

Me: “Okay.” *waits as she stands there*

Pharmacy Technician: “Do you want me to check that?”

Me: “Um… Yes.”

Pharmacy Technician: “Okay.” *grabs calculator* “$17.88.”

Me: “Total price?”

Pharmacy Technician: “Excluding taxes.”

Me: *really don’t want to ask this* “What is the total, please?”

Pharmacy Technician: “I’ll have to check that.”

Me: *wanting to cry, bang head, scream* “Of course you do.” *waits as she stands there*

Pharmacy Technician: “Do you want me to check that?”

Me: *thinks* “NO, I WANT YOU TO DANCE FOR ME! ENTERTAIN ME! ON YOUR HEAD!” *saying* “Yes, please.”

[florida80]

Going To Have A Date Of Death If You Don’t Get It Right
BAD BEHAVIOR, COLUMBUS, OHIO, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | JULY 14, 2018
(I work in the pharmacy of a regional grocery chain. We require the person picking up a prescription order to give us the patient’s name and date of birth; if they don’t give us the date of birth, we cannot release the prescription order to them. I am doing my scheduled counter rotation when a baby boomer who looks like a redneck Santa approaches. He is talking away on his cell phone.)

Me: “Hi there. Picking up?”

Customer: *pulls his phone away from his face* “Yeah I’m picking up for my mother-in-law. Wife’s after me to get this stuff.”

Me: “Sure thing. What’s her name?”

Customer: “Her name is [Mother-In-Law].”

Me: “And her date of birth?”

Customer: *scoffs* “I don’t know. She’s my mother-in-law. I don’t pay attention to that s***.”

Me: “Unfortunately, our system requires we enter the patient’s date of birth to help prevent prescription theft.”

(The customer quite literally turns very red. I steel myself for an angry tirade.)

Customer: “This is bulls***. Simple mother-f*****…” *storms off, ranting and raving to his wife*

Boss: “[My Name]… what was that all about?”

Me: “He didn’t react very well to me telling him I needed his mother-in-law’s birthdate to release her meds to him.”

Boss: “He was on the phone with his wife, wasn’t he?”

Me: “Yep. Don’t know why he didn’t just ask her.”

[florida80]

How Dare You Stop To Eat?!
ILLINOIS, INSTANT KARMA, JERK, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | JULY 6, 2018
(I go to the pharmacy department of a larger than normal location of a major retailer. It’s about 2:25 pm, and the gates to the pharmacy counter are down with a sign apologizing for being closed for lunch. There are about four people ahead of me in line. Though I am in a hurry, I decide to stay since the sign states that they will reopen in five minutes. Four minutes later, the gates reopen, and the pharmacist is at the counter alone, since her support staff hasn’t returned yet. She greets the first man in line.)

Pharmacist: “Thank you for waiting. How may I help you, sir?”

Man: “I’m here to pick up my prescription, under [Man].”

(The pharmacist verifies personal information with the man.)

Man: *as the pharmacist is ringing up the order* “I had to wait ten minutes for you guys to open! It’s just ridiculous that—”

Pharmacist: *cutting the man off, in a tone that is both mockingly concerned, and professional* “Yes, sir, it is ridiculous that I have to work a ten-hour shift, and am only allowed twenty minutes to sit down and eat in the back of this store. I’m so sorry that you had to wait that short amount of time. Your total is [amount].”

(The man said nothing further, refused to make eye contact with anyone, paid, and left. By then, her staff had returned, and the pharmacist went to the back of the work area, immediately answering the phone. The staff made short work of the rest of the people in line, who all were friendly to the workers. I was out the door before 2:40 pm.)

[florida80]

How To Treat Dog-Breath
CANADA, ONTARIO, PHARMACY, STRANGERS, STUPID, TORONTO | HEALTHY | JULY 6, 2018
(I am a veterinary technician and sometimes I leave work still wearing scrubs.)

Cashier: “So, you work at the dental office in this plaza, right?”

Me: “Nope, I’m a veterinary technician. I work at the vet clinic over there.” *gesturing*

Other Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “I’m a nurse for animals.”

Other Customer: “Oh. There’s this mouth-wash I’ve been meaning to try. The stuff from [Human Brand]. Can you tell me if it’s any good?”

Me: “Um… I’m a veterinary technician. I nurse animals.”

Other Customer: “It’s all the same. So, can you tell me if the mouthwash is any good?”

[florida80]

They Need New Glasses As Well As Their Drugs
DALLAS, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, TEXAS, USA | HEALTHY | JULY 5, 2018
(I pull into a drive-thru pharmacy to pick up my prescription, and there’s just one car in front of me. It’s ten full minutes before the car in front of me drives off and I can pull up to the window, but I’m not in a hurry, so I don’t really mind.)

Me: “I’m picking up a prescription for [My Last Name].”

Pharmacist: “Okay, let me just pull that up.”

(She’s gone for a few minutes, and I’m starting to think that this is why the line was slow. Obviously, I think, they must have new people there who don’t know what they’re doing. When she comes back:)

Pharmacist: “I’m sorry, but I don’t have any filled prescriptions listed under your name.”

Me: “But I got an email saying my prescription was ready.”

Pharmacist: “I don’t know what to say. We have you in our system from about two years ago, but there’s nothing recent.”

Me: “Can you check again? I got the email, so I know it’s ready.”

(The pharmacist is gone even longer this time, and I’m starting to feel pretty righteously indignant.)

Pharmacist: “No, we don’t have anything ready for you.”

Me: “Look, that just doesn’t make sense. I don’t understand how I can have an email from Walgreens right here saying that my prescription is ready, but you guys apparently don’t have it.”

Pharmacist: *blank stare* “Ma’am, this is CVS.”

(I felt like such a complete moron that I just drove away in embarrassment. Pharmacist, if you’re out there, I’m really sorry I didn’t apologize!)

[florida80]

Clearly They Need Drugs
IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, NEW YORK, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | AUGUST 2, 2018
(A customer comes up through my pharmacy drive-thru and hands me a script for Oxycontin, 30mg, which we do not carry.)

Customer: “I’d like to fill this script here.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t carry this particular medication.”

Customer: “But I want it.”

Me: “We don’t carry this, though. There’s a pharmacy a few blocks from here that does carry this; have you tried filling there?”

Customer: “I don’t want to fill it there. I want it here. You know what? I’m not going to argue with you morons. I’ll come back in an hour to pick it up.”

(I have had no chance to verify any information for this patient — no date of birth, no phone number. The patient comes back in about twenty minutes:)

Customer: “Is it ready yet?”

Me: “No, and we don’t carry this medication.”

Customer: “But I want it now! You had a whole hour to figure it out! Let me speak to your manager!”

(I bring my manager over, and she tells him the exact same thing.)

Customer: “Oh, really? I didn’t know that. Maybe your employee should have told me that before wasting my time.”

[florida80]

No Spoonful Of Sugar Is Helping This Medicine Go Down
BAD BEHAVIOR, FLORIDA, JERK, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | JULY 31, 2018
(When you come to pick up a prescription, I have to make sure it’s going to the right person or I get written up and, if I get written up enough times, lose my job. This particular pharmacy asks that we verify the address on file, but if they don’t know it, I’ll usually take some other manner of verification if necessary. It’s late, and there’s an hour and a half left to go of a seven-hour day, and all I want to do is go home, so I admit I’m a bit tired. A guy comes up who couldn’t be more than 22, I’d guess, and I smile and go to the register, asking him who he’s picking up for.)

Guy: “My girlfriend.”

Me: “Okay. What’s her name?”

Guy: “[First Name].”

(I need a last name in particular to search, and unfortunately most of the younger crowd usually never give their last name unless prompted. I have no idea why.)

Me: “What’s her last name?”

Guy: “[Last Name].”

(I go over to get it, which doesn’t take long, and return.)

Me: “And what’s her address, please?”

(He gives me this look like I’ve told him that the sky is green or that he’s standing on his head.)

Guy: “I’ve picked up before and they’ve never, ever asked me for her address before.”

(Then he clearly hasn’t picked up for her before at this pharmacy, because we always ask for the address. I say it so often that even when I’m doing things that don’t require it, I sometimes end up saying the words. Sometimes I end up asking them their address before I ask their name, before I can stop myself.)

Me: “Um… We always ask for the address.”

Guy: “No one has ever asked me before!”

Me: “Well, sometimes if you don’t know it, we’ll try another way to verify. Do you know it?”

Guy: “No!”

Me: “Okay, what’s her date of birth?”

(That, he knows. He tells that to me and I’m assured that I have the right person. A new law was passed in July that on certain types and classes of medicines, I now have to ask for a form of ID and enter it into the computer. What he’s picking up falls into that class.)

Me: “I need to see your ID, please.”

Guy: “Why?”

Me: “It’s the law as of the first of July. I have to have an ID.”

Guy: “Does that mean I have to get hers from the car?”

Me: “No, I need yours, since you’re picking it up.”

Guy: “But… does that mean I have to get hers?”

Me: “Um… No. I need yours.”

Guy: “I don’t have mine.”

Me: “Then she has to come in and pick it up.”

Guy: “Why can’t I just go get hers and give it to you?”

(Now I can understand his hesitancy. There’s a big storm that has been going on all day, but neither weather nor annoying teenagers are going to make me break the law.)

Me: “Because it’s her license. Whatever license I have has to be for the person picking up. It’s the law.”

(We go back and forth about this for another minute, to the point that my pharmacist has to come over and back me up, telling him that we have to follow all rules and regulations, and if it’s her license, it has be her. He finally goes out to get her and comes back in. I think this is a wonderful opportunity to do my job right now that she’s here.)

Me: “What’s your address?”

Girl: *throws her ID on the counter* “On file.”

Me: *blink*

(I’ve never had a customer refuse to give their address. Sometimes they’ll pretend to give me a hard time or forget some of the numbers, but I’ve never had someone give me a smart a** remark about it being “on file,” because most have the intelligence to realize that there’s a reason I’m asking for it and it’s most certainly not to hear myself talk. I want to keep my job.)

Me: “I’m sorry; we ask that for verification. If you don’t know yo—”

Girl: *interrupts snottily* “I know my address. It’s [address].”

(She picked up her license from the counter and proceeded to throw it again. I decided I’d had enough of dealing with the twat that was clearly just too lazy to come in and sent her boyfriend in for her, since I could see no legitimate reason for her not to come in besides the rain. And part of me wanted a little bit of revenge for these people half my age giving me a hard time, so I took my time, every bit of it that I could, prolonging the transaction just because they were antsy. As they left, she shot me a glare, snatched up her prescription, and then went to the industrial scale nearby that people use to measure weight and proceeded to jump up and down on it once or twice before leaving.)

[florida80]

This Policy Has Gone To The Dogs
CANADA, EMPLOYEES, GROCERY STORE, JERK, ONTARIO, PETS & ANIMALS, PHARMACY, REVOLTING | WORKING | JULY 31, 2018
(I’m at common, nationwide pharmacy and grocery store when I see a woman walking a small dog down one of the aisles. While the woman is distracted, I watch the dog pee on a shelf filled with cereal boxes. The woman never seems to notice, so as I am heading to the cash, anyway, I decide to tell the cashiers about the dog. There are two cashiers and a supervisor at the front when I get up there.)

Me: “Hi, do you guys know you have a lady in here walking around with a dog?”

Supervisor: “Yeah, it’s fine.”

Me: “Really? So, I can bring my dog in with me next time?”

(Pointing at my dog sitting outside the glass window watching for me.)

Supervisor: “Ah, no. She’s just a friend, so it’s okay.”

Me: “Not really. Your company policy says no dogs except service dogs, so I should be allowed to bring my dog in if that woman can; it’s clearly not a service dog.”

Supervisor: “No, but it’s a really good dog! So, it’s okay for her, but uh, your dog can’t come in. “

(I see nothing wrong with dogs in stores as long as the owners are responsible, clean up if there’s an accident, and carefully watch them. I also have this view of parents with kids. My dog loves her pet store and hardware store walking trips, but this attitude annoyed me. Guess what I didn’t tell them?)

[florida80]

Trying To Pay With A Photo Finish
LEBANON, MATH & SCIENCE, PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | JULY 30, 2018
Customer: “Excuse me, can you help me with this photo machine?”

Me: “Yes, what’s the problem?”

Customer: “It printed all of my photos, but it’s telling me to bring the receipt to the counter, and it’s not printing a receipt.”

(Our kiosk’s receipt printer hasn’t worked in years, so we frequently have to give this explanation.)

Me: “The summary it printed after the last photo is what we use. It tells you how many pictures were in the order, and we can figure the price out from that.”

Customer: “But I don’t know how much photos cost!”

Me: “Well, they’re 29 cents each, and it says here there were 13 photos, so with that—”

Customer: “But it doesn’t tell me how much it’ll cost, or how many photos there are!”

(She begins counting the photos by hand, so I grab the calculator and work out the cost.)

Customer: “…twelve, thirteen. Now to get the cost. Thirteen times 29 cents…”

Me: “It’ll be $3.77 before tax, ma’am.”

(The customer ignores me and continues to write out the multiplication.)

Customer: “Okay, it’s $3.77! By the way, you don’t sell photo postcards here, do you? Or any of the stores in this square?”

Me: “I’m afraid we don’t; if anyone here does, it would probably be [Other Store], so I’d check there first.”

Customer: “Thank you. I’ll do that!”

(The customer immediately turns from the counter and starts toward the exit.)

Me: “Ma’am, you need to— Ma’am, you need to pay for those!”

Customer: “I did!”

Me: “No… you didn’t.”

Customer: “I paid it right over there, you can check my balance and see!”

(Fearful that she might have tried jamming her card into a slot on the kiosk, I rush around… only to find her pointing at the ATM next to it.)

Customer: “I slid it right here, and it says here you can check my balance to see.”

Me: “This is the store’s ATM, not part of the photo machine.”

Customer: “Well, can I check my balance?”

Me: “Uh… Yes?”

(With another customer waiting, I leave to ring them up while keeping the first customer in earshot while she uses the ATM.)

Customer: “It wants a PIN? It’s never asked for that before!”

(I finish checking the second customer out, right as the first customer walks back up to the counter.)

Customer: “Since when does it want a PIN for anything? Anyway, I guess I’ll trust that I still need to pay for these. But I’m using cash this time, not a card!”

Me: “All right, after tax, that’ll be four dollars even!”

(The customer pulls out a small wad of bills with a twenty and three ones visible. She returns to her purse, and I assume she’s getting a fourth dollar bill.)

Customer: “Feels like it’s been forever since I paid with cash!”

(She does pull out another wad of cash with another dollar bill, only to drop it and continue digging for two more handfuls. By the time she stops, I can see a five, a ten, a twenty, and far more ones than needed to pay for the pictures.)

Me: “Ma’am, you… have enough to pay for this…”

(Paying no attention to me, she begins straightening out some of the ones, the five, and the twenty. After she’s stacked twelve of them up, she sighs and slides me the ten.)

Customer: “Oh, just take it out of the ten, then.”

Me: “Um… Okay… And six dollars is your change!”

Customer: “Whew, never a dull moment, is there?”

Me: “Nope!”

[florida80]

The Couponator 7: The Forgotten Coupon
AT THE CHECKOUT, COUPON, KENTUCKY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | JULY 24, 2018
(I’m a cashier at a pharmacy. Unfortunately, due to its rewards program, our chain is a haven for “Coupon Queens” to come buy a cartload of products for $3.00. I mean, do what you gotta do, but sometimes, the couponers get way out of hand. The customer in this story is a notorious regular, and he and his wife always make my coworkers and me go running when they come into the store. The customer, sans his wife, has been chatting to me while I ring him up, going on about saving this and saving that, occasionally snapping at me if I even look at one of the items he’s set aside for a third or fourth transaction. It takes fifteen minutes before I finally get it all rang up.)

Customer: “I’ll bring your cart back in when I get these out to my car. I just… Oh, s***!”

Me: “Is everything all right, sir?”

Customer: “I forgot to use my coupons on this stuff. Oh, my God, my wife is going to kill me. Here, you need to refund all of these so I can do it again and use my coupons.”

Me: “I… I’m sorry, sir. I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Well, why the h*** not? I have the coupons right here; there’s no one else in line right now.”

Me: “Sir, it’s against company policy. I cannot refund your items for full price, and then sell them back to you when you’re using coupons.”

Customer: “Well, I’m going to tell my wife you did this!” *storms out*

Related:

[florida80]

The Couponator 6: The Coupon Awakens
COUPON, FLORIDA, JERK, RETAIL, USA | RIGHT | MAY 24, 2018
(Just 30 minutes from closing time, a last customer comes into the store with a few items. They want to use a special store coupon that requires a person to spend a certain amount of money to earn the discount.)

Me: “Hello, sir, welcome to [Store]. Are you enrolled in our rewards program.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “All right, then.”

(I then begin to scan the customer’s items, and turn the monitor toward him to see the prices as they ring up. He stops me as I hit a pair a glasses.)

Customer: “Uh, that’s not the right price; those glasses are supposed to be 30% off.”

Me: “Okay, just give me one second to check that.”

(I leave the register to where the glasses are located, and find out he is correct. I then head back to the register without a word and adjust the price.)

Customer: “Oh! I also have this $30-off coupon that I got, but I didn’t realise it expired on the third.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir.”

Customer: “Is their any way you can see if it will still accept it?”

(Scanning the coupon, I try to see if our system will still accept it, but it does not.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, but the system won’t take it anymore.”

Customer: “All right, I want to speak to a manager, then.”

(Agitated, I grab a nearby radio, and call for a manager to my department. I discover my radio has died, so I leave to the nearby jewelry counter to ask an associate to call a manager for me and head back to wait for my manager.)

Manager: “What’s going on here?”

(The customer proceeds to explain the current situation to him.)

Manager: “All right, just take ten dollars off the three items, anyway.”

(Frustrated, I manually adjust the prices of the items and my manager leaves.)

Me: “Okay. Your new total is $43.75.”

Customer: “Hmm, that’s still not right.”

(Manually adjusting the price automatically removes any sales prices on them. So I tinker even further on the prices. By this point, the system is denying my price changes.)

Me: “Your new total is $35.25.”

Customer: “Still not the right price.”

(Frustrated, I throw in a manual twenty dollar discount.)

Me: “Total… is $15.25.”

Customer: “That’s better, thank you.”

(He swiped his card. I bagged his items and handed him his receipt

[florida80]

The Couponator 5: Online Decline
ALBERTA, AT THE CHECKOUT, CANADA, COUPON, RETAIL | RIGHT | APRIL 21, 2018
(A woman comes up to my register to pay for her items.)

Me: “Hi, is that all for you today?”

Customer: “Yes. I have a $5 coupon on my phone; I just need to pull it up.”

Me: “Okay, great, no problem.”

(I see her struggle to load the page; after a few moments she shows me a blank screen.)

Customer: “It’s not loading, but it’s right here.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Since that’s just a blank page and there’s no barcode or sku number, there’s no way I can actually put the coupon into the system.”

Customer: “There has to be a way you can honour it! Can I speak to a manager?”

Me: “She’s not in right now; it’s just me. But even if she was, there’s no way our system will let us use the coupon since we can’t actually see it.”

(I spend a few more minutes trying to help her get the page to load. After a moment, I realize she’s connected to a Wi-Fi hotspot several blocks away.)

Me: “Do you have LTE?”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “Do you have mobile Internet on your smartphone? If you do, you’ll be able to connect to the Internet, as we don’t have Wi-Fi here.”

Customer: “I don’t have that.”

Me: “Okay, then, I’m sorry. It’s not possible for me to take your coupon today.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! What good is a coupon if I can’t even use it?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Next time be sure to print the coupon, or take a screenshot next time you are connected to the Internet.”

Customer: “This isn’t fair! You should be able to honour it!”

Me: “It’s not our fault that you don’t have Internet, ma’am. I’m sorry that you feel inconvenienced.”

(I ring up her purchase.)

Me: “Thank you. Have a nice day.”

Customer: *mumbles incoherently, snatches her bag, and storms off*

[florida80]

The Couponator 4: Deadly Discounts
AT THE CHECKOUT, DEPARTMENT STORE, HAWAII, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, JERK, USA | RIGHT | MARCH 9, 2018
(I’ve worked part-time at this location of a nation-wide department store for several years, and by now I am the most senior employee in the women’s clothing department. I’m good at customer service, and a lot of our customers know and like me, which has its upsides and downsides. I am serving [Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ], a woman in her 60s who talks about all the trips she takes abroad, and the souvenirs she buys for hundreds to thousands of dollars, while she won’t buy anything from us that runs over $15. She is also incredibly picky about her purchases and the way they’re folded and bagged, and she refuses to ring up with anybody but me, since I’m the only one who “does it right.” Standing in line behind her is [Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ], a woman in her 40s for whom I once tracked down a $20-off coupon, who has also insisted I be the one to ring her up ever since. She has a habit of coming to me to check prices on everything she finds, walking right past the price scanner, and several times has asked me to wait in the middle of a transaction so she can grab more of a cheap item, even if the item is on the second floor and there are several people in line behind her. This is the first time I’ve had to deal with these two customers one after the other.)

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Hi, my dear. How are you?” *she sets six clearance shirts on the register* “These should all be $9.99.”

(I smile even while dreading this transaction, because that’s the classic line customers give when they KNOW that stuff isn’t the price they think it “should” be. This customer acts like a sweet grandmother when kept happy, but turns instantly mean when she doesn’t get what she wants.)

Me: “Let’s see… Oh, it looks like these two that say $9.99 on the tag are okay, but these four that say, ‘75% off,’ are from the clearance rack next to it.”

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : *suddenly scowls* “That’s it. Get me your manager. I’ve told them time and time again: I won’t put up with this here. This is ridiculous; nothing is ever in its proper place—”

Me: “I apologize for that; we just had our big sale yesterday, and unfortunately, we haven’t been able to finish putting back everything that was misplaced. Let me go ahead and adjust those for you.”

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : *smiling again* “Oh, thank you, my dear. You’re always so kind.”

(She talks about her last expensive trip while I ring her up, changing all the clearance items that were already only $10 to $17 to $9.99.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, your total is $58. Do you have your coupons with you?”

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Can I use a $20-off coupon?”

Me: “Sure!”

(I wait for her to hand me the coupon.)

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Don’t you have one with you?”

(We usually don’t, as those are mailed directly to the customer, but I check around the register, anyway.)

Me: “I’m afraid not. I have an extra 20%-off I can use, though.”

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : *gesturing to the customer being rung up at the register behind me* “Well, does she have one?”

(I pause for a moment, but manage to keep my smile up as I politely ask two other customers waiting in line if they have a coupon I can scan. No one does, and [Customer 1#] decides to put her things on hold until she can get a $20-off coupon. [Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] comes up to the register, rolling her eyes and shaking her head.)

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “I’ve done her nails before. She’s always like that. So, do you have a $20-off coupon?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. I just looked for one a minute ago.”

(I start ringing up her items.)

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Wait. All these pants should be $4.99!”

Me: “…”

(I look down at her pants, one of which has a $4.99 tag, while all the rest have 75%-off tags.)

Me: “You know what? I’ll just adjust those for you.”

(I finish ringing her up, and after she leaves, I turn to one of my managers who came to stand by me a few minutes ago, still smiling brightly.)

Me: “Shoot me.”

Manager: “What? Why? They’re both really nice women…”

Me: “…”

Manager: “…most of the time.”

([Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] comes running back to the register, waving a coupon above her head.)

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “I got a $20-off one!”

[florida80]

The Couponator 3: Rise Of The Coupons
BAD BEHAVIOR, CANADA, COUPON, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, JERK, ONTARIO, RESTAURANT | RIGHT | OCTOBER 24, 2017
(I am working at the cash register during our supper hour when we get a lot of customers coming through. Note that very recently, we have released coupons to arrive in the mail for every household, as well as printable versions. Customers are allowed to use more than one coupon at a time.)

Me: “Hi, I can help you over here.”

Customer: “I have multiple coupons today.” *pulls out her purse and proceeds to pull out five printed coupons*

(These coupons are “Buy one, get one free.” So, with a sandwich and a medium fry, one can get a second sandwich for free. She starts giving me her order, consisting of four burgers, four orders of nuggets, two chicken burgers, one large wrap, two small wraps, and five orders of fries.)

Me: “So that’ll be $51.95. Is this for here or to go?”

Customer: “That’ll be to go, dear.” *sits down and waits for her order*

(A coworker helps me deal with the rest of the customers in line. While they come and go, the first customer patiently waits for a while, staring at her remaining coupons, before coming back up to the counter. She calls me over to help her.)

Customer: “I would like to remake my order, using these coupons instead.” *she presents five printed coupons for a “two can dine for $10.49” deal*

Me: “Um… Let me ask a manager to see if they can help out.”

(I find the closest manager and explain the situation, and my manager refunds the order and hands her back her money. She then proceeds to put in the same order, using the new coupons. These coupons come with two sandwiches, two medium fries, and two medium drinks per coupon, so her order now also includes ten orders of fries and ten drinks. When asked if this is all right with the customer, she responds that it was fine.)

Manager: “So, after putting in the new coupons, your total is now $70.08.”

Customer: “But each coupon is $10; that can’t be right.”

Manager: “It’s $10 per coupon, but this is also with your drinks and extra fries, plus your wraps.”

Customer: *slams down her refund money from earlier* “Well, this is unacceptable! I want my order done the way it was before!”

(My manager had to redo the order once again, leaving my coworker to deal with the rest of the crowded lobby. Our line-up didn’t get any smaller as long as she was there, who kept us busy for about 20 minutes to make sure her order was done correctly.)

[florida80]

These Paramedics Never Cry Uncle
AUSTRALIA, EMERGENCY SERVICES, FAMILY & KIDS, HEALTH & BODY, HOME, WILD & UNRULY | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 13, 2020
A friend who used to live on my street moved out rather suddenly and then moved house again quite a bit thereafter. It was a little strange, but eventually, we found out that her parents divorced and the housing situation was a bit screwed up because it’s Australia and our welfare system is a bit… stupid.

Her dad has finally settled into a place more permanently and decides to host New Year’s. My friend invites me along, and despite having not really met that side of her family, I agree to come and join in the festivities.

On arrival, I’m introduced to an uncle who is probably only five to seven years our senior at best and who has been drinking rather heavily since yesterday afternoon. He gets to chatting and we learn that he has only recently recovered from a nasty car accident that shattered his legs. He’s all healed up and ready to celebrate the New Year, loudly proclaiming to all who’ll listen that next year will be his year since everything has gone so wrong in this one. I’m sympathetic to the poor guy; the accident was 100% not his fault and it was a horrendous and intense path to recovery. With a small child in his care, I can only imagine how hard the recovery must have been, so I don’t begrudge his drinking. Out of everyone present, he probably has the best reason to be overindulging, and he isn’t an angry drunk by any stretch of the imagination.

The night wears on, and we are about an hour away from midnight. The local sports grounds is hosting a fireworks display, and from the backyard, we will have a great seat for the show. Suddenly, the drunken uncle staggers over to the trampoline and claps enthusiastically at the kids all doing little tricks. One of those kids asks uncle if he ever did tricks and the uncle puffs with pride and declares that he used to be part of his high school’s gymnastics team. The kids all ooh and ahh in admiration, and it isn’t long before they vacate the trampoline and start coaxing [Uncle] to show them some tricks. Bad idea.

He climbs up and starts to bounce. My friend’s dad rushes over and tries to convince the uncle not to do anything silly, but [Uncle] is too caught up in nostalgia and alcohol to listen to reason and decides that trampolining couldn’t be that much different from doing flips on a gym floor. He then jumps super high and starts a backflip; sadly, he isn’t very well in control of the bounce and the trajectory sends him off the mark and he hits the ground hard. There is a sickening, cracking crunch on impact, the kind of sound that reverberates in your teeth and reminds you of nails on a chalkboard.

The ambulance is called immediately and they arrive extremely quickly. They pull up and rush over to [Uncle], who is still very much in a good mood; apparently, he didn’t feel a thing and has spent the time waiting trying to convince us all he is fine and attempting to stand up. The paramedics assess his injuries and gather information from the surrounding family, hand the poor guy a painkiller, and set up a stretcher. Just as they heave him up to slide the stretcher under his prone form, another horrible crunch is heard, and the paramedics lower him carefully to the ground again. A female paramedic feels about his waist and hips and realises that there is more than likely some pelvic bone damage and asks the host for a set of scissors.

[Uncle] is still happy as a clam and suddenly seems to register that there is a beautiful young lass attending to his pants line and becomes very flirty. The paramedic allows the flirting as uncle isn’t being belligerent and it seems to be keeping him relatively still while my friend’s dad runs for the scissors.

Uncle: “So, what’s a sweet young thing like you need scissors for? I hope we aren’t doing surgery here.” *Laughs* “Though, if it’s you, I guess I wouldn’t mind so much. You’re lovely!”

Female Paramedic: *Laughs* “Oh, no need to worry, sir. No surgery here in the grass. I just need to see your hips a bit better in case there’s more damage we couldn’t see through your clothes. I hope you’re not attached to these shorts, though; we need the scissors to cut them off.”

[Uncle] suddenly starts blushing madly, and the flirty tone is now a little fearful and embarrassed.

Uncle: “Oh, um… It’s just, well, it’s a rather unpleasant job… that is… would your partner here approve of removing my pants?! And… and there are children here! Oh, God! Someone take the children away; I don’t want to be a flasher!!”

The male paramedic lost it, and through his laughter, he assured [Uncle] that it wasn’t a problem, that they were both trained professionals, and that the kids would be fine as they weren’t planning to cut them off in full view of spectators. [Uncle] was blushing and stammering objections the entire time as a screen was set up and his pants were removed in moderate privacy.

Finally, they got [Uncle] loaded into the ambulance. The female paramedic was gathering some last bits of information from the family and organising a support person to ride along with them to the hospital. I couldn’t help but ask if this kind of thing was routine for New Year’s. The paramedic laughed and said that, sadly, it was their busiest time of year, but if it’s for someone like [Uncle], she didn’t mind so much. He’s lovely.

[Uncle] just blushed all the harder and covered himself more with the blankets piled on top of him. It was an exciting New Year’s, that’s for sure, and the timing was brilliant, as the ambulance pulling away coincided with the fireworks starting.

The poor guy had re-shattered the old injuries and done some rather significant damage to both hips and pelvic bone. I think he needed pins and plates, and unfortunately, the recovery was a lot longer this time around. It was not exactly the best way to ring in the New Year, but at least he had wonderful paramedics who possessed a great sense of both humour and duty of care.

[florida80]

Flu Right Over Their Head
EMPLOYEES, ILLINOIS, INSTANT KARMA, JERK, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 10, 2020
This happens during a year when the flu shot isn’t particularly effective. I get the shot, but I still come down with the flu a couple of months later. My doctor has called in Tamiflu, and I drag myself over to the pharmacy to pick it up, along with a giant Gatorade and some painkillers. The pharmacist is ringing me out.

Pharmacist: “Tamiflu, huh?”

Me: “Yep.”

Pharmacist: *Smirks* “That’s why you get your flu shot, dear. You’ll get it next year, won’t you?”

Me: “Actually, I got the flu shot two months ago in this pharmacy. I’m pretty sure you gave it to me. Now, can I have my medicine without the commentary?”

The pharmacist’s face turned red and he completed my transaction silently.

[florida80]

Russian To Conclusions
COLLEGE & UNIVERSITY, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, MEDICAL OFFICE, TEXAS, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 7, 2020
I’m a college student who’s been accepted to a Russian study-abroad program. The next major step for me is to get a visa, which requires one unusual step: a negative HIV test. Russia has a major HIV issue, and one way they try to manage the spread is by restricting visas to people who test negative for it. So, I call my campus clinic to set up a free HIV screening test.

Receptionist: “Hello, this is [Campus Clinic]. How may I help you?”

Me: “Hello! I need to set up an appointment for an HIV test, please.”

Receptionist: “Oh, an STD panel? Sure, I can set you up for that.”

Me: “Sorry, no, just an HIV test.”

Receptionist: “Um…” *Sounding confused* “Okay, are you sure? You don’t want any other tests?”

Me: “Yes, just the HIV test, please.”

Receptionist: “All right…”

She sets me up for an appointment, sounding a little miffed throughout the rest of the exchange. I go in for my appointment the next day.

Doctor: “Good afternoon! So you’re here for an HIV test?”

Me: “Yes, that’s right. I do get a little dizzy sometimes when my blood gets drawn, though, just a heads-up.”

Doctor: “Ah, is that why you only wanted the one test? Because, you know, it’s a good idea to get a full STD panel.”

Me: “Hmm? Oh, no, I don’t need a full STD panel. I only need the HIV one.”

Doctor: “There are a lot of other diseases you’re at risk for when you’re sexually active. The responsible thing to do, if you’re worried you may have been exposed to something, is to get tested for everything.”

Me: “Oh, I’m not worried. I’m a virgin. I just want to go to Russia.”

Doctor: “What?”

I explained everything to the doctor and we had a bit of a laugh. And I got my visa!

[florida80]

None Of This Qualifies As Helpful
COLORADO, DENVER, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 5, 2020
I send an email to my doctor’s office, through the HMO system, detailing my symptoms and asking for advice.

Nurse’s Email: “Dear Mrs. [My Name], I am [Nurse] working with your doctor. I have read your email. I am not qualified to respond to this email. Someone else will get in touch with you.”

When I stop laughing, I call the official HMO Medical Advice Line and list my symptoms.

Medical Advice Person: “Do you want a [widely-spreading illness] test?”

Me: “I don’t think so, but I’m not medically trained, so…”

Medical Advice Person: “Oh, I’m not medically trained, either! I just answer the phones.”

I gave up, had some chicken soup, and went to bed.

[florida80]

Dental Health Isn’t Their Only Area Of Expertise
AWESOME, DENTIST, INSPIRATIONAL, NORTH CAROLINA, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 4, 2020
I do not like shots. I don’t faint while getting them, but I turn into a nervous wreck. I also have a lowered pain tolerance, which doesn’t help matters.

I have to get a cavity filled. The first time this happened, I was knocked out since, as I said, I hate needles. Between that filling and this one, my periodontist pulled my last three baby teeth. He’s really good at what he does, so it didn’t hurt. Because of that, I decide to go with the novocaine shot.

I am told beforehand by my parents and other people that there’ll be pressure. I don’t expect much out of it. But I am still a nervous wreck when the day arrives. My dentist knows this and genuinely reassures me.

I shut my eyes. They warn me before the needle goes in, and when it does, I start screaming my head off. I’m not crying, just screaming from unexpected pain probably heightened by nerves.

Someone wordlessly squeezes my hand until I calm down. The rest of the procedure goes without incident, though I am on edge the whole time. I apologize to the dentist and hygienists afterward for screaming.

Dentist & Hygienists: “Don’t worry about it.”

Then, this exchange happens afterward.

Me: “Mom, did you come back and hold my hand?”

Mom: “No? Dad and I heard you screaming, but we didn’t come back.”

It was at that moment that I realized one of the hygienists held my hand. So, nameless hygienist, thank you so much for helping me.

[florida80]

Another Exhibit In The Case Of “Why Nurses Should Rule The World”
AUSTRIA, AWESOME, HOSPITAL, INSPIRATIONAL, NURSES, VIENNA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 3, 2020
My parents are with my severely disabled sister who is being prepped for an operation. We take care of her at home and have a live-in nurse, but she still ends up in the hospital every few months, so the nurses are quite familiar with my family.

Nurse: “Would you like to remove your daughter’s nail polish?”

Mother: “Is it really necessary?”

Nurse: “Well, yes. We need to be able to see her nails during the operation to make sure she’s getting enough oxygen.”

Mother: “Oh, I see. It’s only that my other daughter painted her nails before going to college, and she won’t be back home for months. She went all the way to America and we can’t afford to bring her back every time [Sister] is hospitalized.”

Nurse: “Ach, I’m very sorry.”

She makes small talk with my parents while removing the nail polish. There are no comments about how my sister wouldn’t understand or even notice the nail polish, just reassuring chatter.

When they wheeled my sister back after the operation, my mother broke down in tears; they’d repainted my sister’s nails. When my mother told me about it, I teared up, too.

I still think of that nurse’s kindness — how she must’ve left the hospital to get nail polish of a similar shade and then painted my sister’s tiny nails. It sounds like such a small thing, but it was so completely outside her job scope and so sweet of her. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.

[florida80]

We’re Expecting A Baby! But It Could Be A Velociraptor…
CANADA, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, MANITOBA, MEDICAL OFFICE, WINNIPEG, WORDPLAY | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 2, 2020
I’m pregnant with my second daughter. My general practitioner is very nice but has a little trouble with English. He sends me for an ultrasound and this conversation happens at our next visit.

General Practitioner: “I have results from your ultrasound here.”

Me: “How does it look?”

General Practitioner: “You are having a monster.”

Me: *Horrified* “WHAT?”

General Practitioner: “Yes. Very big baby. Probably ten pounds.”

Me: “Oh… Thank goodness.”

I probably should have told him that “monster” is NOT the word to use when describing a baby-to-be.

[florida80]

This Hospital Is Really Going Down The Toilet
HOSPITAL, JERK, NORTHERN IRELAND, PATIENTS | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 1, 2020
When I am a student, I take a summer job working as a temporary admin person in a local hospital. The first week or so involves just sitting in a file room sorting through old files, but then I am taken off this job and put on the outpatients’ reception, as the regular receptionist is going on holiday.

A couple of days into my stint as receptionist, one of the medical secretaries comes to see me.

Secretary: “[Gastroenterologist] is off sick today with gastroenteritis and his clinic has therefore been cancelled. I’ve phoned all his patients and told them, but one or two slipped through the net due to their contact details being out of date. If any patients do turn up for [Gastroenterologists]’s clinic, please explain that the doctor was off sick, apologise for the inconvenience, reassure them that they will be given a replacement appointment when the doctor returns to work, and then try to update their contact details.”

The first couple of patients who arrive for this clinic are really understanding. They accept my apology, acknowledge that “these things happen,” and happily allowed me to take their up-to-date contact details. Then, I have THIS patient.

She is an older lady, probably in her early to mid-seventies, and she turns up with her daughter. She hands me her letter, and when I see she’s arrived for the gastroenterology clinic, I begin my usual spiel.

Me: “Ah, I’m very sorry, but we’ve actually had to cancel the clinic today. The doctor has phoned in sick, so he’ll not be back to work for a couple of days at least.”

Daughter: “Oh, dear!”

Her mother looks crestfallen. I apologise again for the inconvenience, reassure her that we’ll be giving her a replacement appointment as soon as the doctor is back to work, and explain that the reason we didn’t tell her about the cancellation was that we were unable to get hold of her. She gives me her up-to-date address and telephone number, which I put in her file, and then she starts complaining about being badly treated.

Woman: “I don’t understand how you people can do this to me! I’m an elderly lady! I can’t just travel up and down to the hospital for appointments!”

Me: *Staying calm* “Yes, I really do understand. To be honest, if I was in your position, I’d be upset, too, but unfortunately, there isn’t anything else we can do.”

The daughter still looks completely calm.

Daughter: “We’re getting another appointment though, right?”

I reassure her that her mother WILL be getting another appointment because it isn’t her fault the clinic was cancelled and it is up to us to make sure she gets the treatment she needs. The daughter seems satisfied, so she thanks me for being so understanding and turns to her mother.

Daughter: “Let’s go, Mum.”

The elderly lady turns to walk away and then changes her mind and stops. She turns to face me again.

Woman: “So [Gastroenterologist] is off sick today, is he?”

Me: “Yes, unfortunately, he is.”

She looks around and then leans in close to me and screams.

Woman: “WELL, HE F****** DESERVES IT!”

And she stormed out!

I worked in the reception for another two weeks and then was moved on to other duties. I really enjoyed working in the hospital, and years later, I still vividly remember this elderly lady leaning forward to scream, “WELL, HE F****** DESERVES IT!” all because her clinic was cancelled due to illness.

[florida80]

I Just Can’t Wait For You To Stab Me With A Needle!
CHILDREN, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, NEW JERSEY, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 30, 2020
When my son is seven years old, I move to a new town. The school system has some different regulations for vaccines than where we have just come from. As it turns out, my son needs a shot before joining school in the new town. Unfortunately, my son is extremely needle-phobic. I have previously assisted holding him still in instances where he needed a shot or stitches. I know, as a nurse and a mom, that what needs to be done needs to be done.

As I am new to the area and do not have a pediatrician yet, I ask the school for the name of the school doctor. The following happens when my son and I arrive at his appointment for his shot.

Me: *To the receptionist* “Hi, I’m [My Name] and this is [Son]. We are here for his [shot].”

Receptionist: “Sure, have a seat in exam room one. Someone will be with you shortly.”

Me: “Thank you.”

[Son] and I wait for a few minutes. He knows he is there for a shot and starts to get a bit anxious. I do my best to distract him and calm him down. Soon, the doctor arrives in the room.

Doctor: “Good afternoon, ma’am, [Son]. So, you’re here for a [shot]?”

Me: “Yes, we are.”

Doctor: “Okay, I’ll get that ready for you and I’ll be back in a minute.”

The doctor leaves the room and arrives back a few minutes later with the needle and syringe on a tray.

Doctor: “All right, so here we are.” *Addresses my son directly* “So, [Son], are you ready for your shot now?”

My jaw drops; I cannot believe what I just heard. Why would you ever ask a child if they are ready to receive a shot? My son immediately indicates that he is not ready.

Doctor: “Okay, I’ll give you a few minutes. I’ll be back.”

I sit trying to calm my son as he grows increasingly anxious. Twenty minutes later, the doctor returns.

Doctor: “All right, big guy, are you ready yet?”

Son: “No.”

Doctor: “Well, then, you just let me know when you are.”

The doctor leaves the room again. I am so shocked that I am not able to verbalize my thoughts. My son begins to panic. He is wringing his hands and pulling at his hair. It is difficult to watch. Imagine a needle-phobic seven-year-old being told that he is the one who has to actually ask to be given a shot. He just isn’t going to be able to do it.

Another twenty minutes go by before the doctor returns.

Doctor: “So, [Son], do you want me to give you that [shot] now?”

Me: “Okay, hold on, doc. We have been here for an hour, during which time you have been tormenting a young child by telling him he needs to ask to be given a shot. This ends now. I am the mother. I make the medical decisions, not him. He is getting this shot, and he is getting it now. Go get your receptionist and have her come in to help me hold him still. You have got him worked so into a frenzy that I cannot do it by myself. When she comes in here, this is going to go one, two, three: you give him the shot, we leave, this trauma is over. Go get her. Now.”

And that is what happened. To this day, I am still unhappy with myself that I allowed the torture to go on as long as it did. I later followed up with a complaint to the school system about their “school doctor.” I also put it in writing that for any school health screenings that might come up, that doctor was not to come within twenty feet of my son.

[florida80]

I Hear Peru Is Lovely This Time Of Year
FUNNY NAMES, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, USA, WASHINGTON | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 29, 2020
When my oldest son is a baby, I take him to the doctor for one of his early checkups. A nurse comes out to the lobby and announces a name.

Nurse: “Leema?”

My appointment time has passed, so I am paying close attention and wonder if that could be for my son, whose name is Liam. I don’t think anyone could mess it up that much, so I wait until the nurse has announced the name multiple times and no one has responded.

Finally:

Me: “Do you mean Liam?”

She looks at the paper.

Nurse: “No, it’s Leema.”

I figure I was wrong and she continues to call out “Leema” a few more times. Finally, she comes up to me.

Nurse: “What name did you say earlier?”

Me: “It’s Liam.”

It was for us. She was quite a scatterbrain; in the following years I had a few more kids and took them all to the same doctor, and that nurse was always a little different. I still sometimes call my son Leema.

[florida80]

They Don’t Pussyfoot With Pet Safety
HEALTH & BODY, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 28, 2020
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

My girlfriend has a cat, and I’m allergic to it; I get incredibly itchy. I treat these allergies with promethazine, and it works perfectly.

I queue up at the pharmacy, and it comes to my turn to order.

Me: “Hi, could I get the [Promethazine Brand], please?”

Dispenser: “Of course. Can I ask what you’re using it for, sir?”

Me: “My cat allergies.”

Dispenser: *Frowning slightly* “Excuse me for a moment.”

She walks to the back and I can see her discussing something with the pharmacist. Then, she returns.

Dispenser: “I’m sorry, sir; we can’t sell you this if you are going to give it to your cat.”

I am slightly taken aback by this and try not to laugh.

Me: “Sorry, I meant it’s for my allergies to cats.”

We both laughed, and she jokingly claimed that it had been a long day.

That brand even has a cat on the packaging here in England.

[florida80]

Nothing’s Warmer Than These Nurses’ Hearts
AWESOME, FAMILY & KIDS, HOSPITAL, INSPIRATIONAL, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 27, 2020
When my younger brother is born, he contracts an infection from a nurse that was sick with a cold when she delivered him. As such, he has to stay in the NICU for a couple of weeks. My mother cannot stay in the hospital with him due to having my two-year-old self at home.

My brother is very snuggly as a baby; he loves being held and nestles his head closer to the person holding him. Because of this, he becomes a favorite among the NICU nurses. Naturally, the nurses hold him a lot and pass him around so each gets a turn with the snuggly baby.

One day, when my mother is visiting, she finds out through this exchange.

Mom approaches the NICU.

Nurse: “Quick! Put him back! The mother is coming!”

My mother hears this and smiles instantly; she had been worried that her newborn wasn’t getting enough attention.

Mom: *Walking in the room* “Oh, you don’t have to put him back when I come. I have a toddler at home so I can’t be here as much as I’d like to be, and I’ve been worried since I’m not here to hold him as much as he needs to be. I’m actually relieved to know that he’s getting enough attention.”

The nurses’ faces lit up, and they started to be less secretive about their cuddle sessions, gladly handing him to my mom whenever she was able to visit

[florida80]

A Cool-Headed Manager Turneth Away Wrath
INSTANT KARMA, JERK, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 26, 2020
I’m working the drive-thru at a pharmacy when an older patient who has occasionally been a handful pulls up. She has two prescriptions to fill and she hands me an empty tube of name-brand hydrocortisone cream.

Patient: “Can you get me another tube of this, too, please?”

Normally, we’re supposed to encourage patients to call ahead for curbside pickup, but we are slow and I am feeling nice. I leave the pharmacy, pick up the same tube, and add it to her order. The cream is about $6.

Later she comes in and starts complaining to the manager on duty.

Patient: “I bought this in the drive-thru earlier, and the employee there was rude to me, and she overcharged me! I demand that she be fired!”

She started generally causing a scene. Apparently, she wanted the store brand that was $3 cheaper. Surprisingly, after the manager reminded her that I was doing her a favor and I technically wasn’t supposed to leave the pharmacy to get over-the-counter products, she calmed down and left. I realize I could have been a bit friendlier, but I’m not a mind reader, lady.

[florida80]

Sounds Like It’d Be Easier To Just Wait It Out
FUNNY, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, INSURANCE, USA, WISCONSIN | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 25, 2020
I help people sign up for Medicare insurance plans and answer questions, whether they’re related to medicare or not, to the best of my ability. This is a memorable call.

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Can you get Medicare at age seventeen?”

Me: “It’s possible, if unusual. If—”

There is a second person apparently listening to the phone on speaker.

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Don’t you need to be sixty-five?”

Me: “Everyone can get it at sixty-five, but people on Social Security Disability can get it earlier, as well as people with kidney failure.”

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “So, it can be done before age sixty-five?”

Me: “Seventeen is rare, but it’s possible. There are other conditions that can get it for you early, as well, like Lou Gehrig’s disease.”

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “But you don’t really get it before sixty-five—”

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Nuh-uh, he said it’s possible. You lost the bet, so—”

They disconnected the call at that point. I’ve done many things in this job, but I’ve never settled a bet before today.

[florida80]

Impossible Demands: Back To The Future Edition
AUSTRALIA, HOBART, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, STUPID, TASMANIA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 23, 2020
Customer: “Has the doctor sent you my prescription yet?”

Me: “I’ll just have a look for you.”

I check both the physical file of hard copies and our digital copies saved on the computer.

Me: “Nope, sorry, it hasn’t arrived yet.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s right. The doctor moved my appointment to this afternoon so I haven’t seen him yet.”

Me: *Pause* “That’s probably why I can’t find it. See you this afternoon, then?”

[florida80]

Impossible Demands: Back To The Future Edition
AUSTRALIA, HOBART, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, STUPID, TASMANIA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 23, 2020
Customer: “Has the doctor sent you my prescription yet?”

Me: “I’ll just have a look for you.”

I check both the physical file of hard copies and our digital copies saved on the computer.

Me: “Nope, sorry, it hasn’t arrived yet.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s right. The doctor moved my appointment to this afternoon so I haven’t seen him yet.”

Me: *Pause* “That’s probably why I can’t find it. See you this afternoon, then?”

[florida80]

Brace Yourself!
ALABAMA, DENTIST, INSTANT KARMA, JERK, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 22, 2020
When I am a teen with braces, I have some problems with the brackets popping off fairly often — sometimes even when I’m not eating or doing anything with my teeth at the time. After yet another time of one of my brackets popping off for no reason, I am once again at the dentist getting it fixed.

The hygienist scolds me pretty strongly, even though I told her it popped off when I wasn’t eating anything.

Hygienist: “You need to be more careful! You’ll have to wear braces for even longer if you keep this up. You need to be much more careful about what you eat.”

Then, the dentist checks my teeth and tells me they are ahead of schedule and I might be able to have my braces off early.

When we are about to leave the dentist’s office, my mom has to use the restroom, so I wait for her by the front door. I haven’t even made it out of the dentist’s office, and I haven’t put anything in my mouth, and a bracket pops off.

As soon as my mom gets out of the restroom, we turn right around and walk back to the dentist’s reception desk… only to find that the dentist has just left for lunch. We have to make an appointment for later in the day.

But at least they stopped blaming me for the problem, and they started being more careful to attach the brackets thoroughly.

[florida80]

You’re Getting Sleeeeepy… TOO Sleepy!
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 19, 2020
I used to volunteer with my township’s all-volunteer first aid squad. One day, we receive a call to respond to the house of a couple in their sixties.

Wife: “My husband isn’t acting right and I’m having trouble waking him up.”

Upon arriving at the house, my partner and I walk into the spare bedroom where the husband has been taking a nap. He is extremely lethargic and we have trouble even getting him to answer any questions. It looks just like an overdose. My partner starts providing care to the patient.

I turn to the wife.

Me: “Can you please show me the medications he’s taking?”

Among other things, he has been taking a sedative. I immediately pour them out on the kitchen table and count them. I look at the bottle and see that it is a new prescription. There are only one or two pills missing. I gather all the pill bottles into a bag and hand it to the wife.

Me: “Please bring this bag with you to the hospital.”

We transport the patient to the hospital. About fifteen minutes after that, something in my brain pops. I am familiar with the pills that the man is taking, as this isn’t the first time I’ve had to dump and count the pills in a bottle. Something about them was not right. The typical dosage is 0.25 mg or 0.5 mg. His pills seemed bigger than any others I had ever counted.

Never have I called a patient or family after transport, but today, I do. I call the wife.

Me: “[Wife], can you please pull the bottle of [sedative] out of the bag and read off the dosage size for me?”

It’s a full 2.0 mg!

Wife: “My husband’s regular doctor has been out of town, so he went to the covering physician, who gave him the prescription.”

Me: “What is his regular dosage?”

Wife: “It should have been 0.25 mg.”

Her husband received an overdose of eight times his usual dosage! I told her to report this information to the emergency room.

Yes, errors are made sometimes. But there are many checks and balances in medicine. One of the biggest ones is when a pharmacist reviews a medication and dosage for appropriateness. In this case, the doctor made a huge error in prescribing the wrong dosage. But the pharmacist should have caught it and clarified with the doctor before filling the prescription. Not doing so could have killed the husband.

[florida80]

Paling In The Face Of Those Assumptions
FAST FOOD, FUNNY, HEALTH & BODY, JERK, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 16, 2020
I’m an opening manager at a fast food restaurant. I work four days a week on top of being a full-time nursing student. In terms of appearances, I am a redheaded female with British and Italian ancestry. This particular week, my seasonal allergies have been flaring up. These flare-ups are simply sneezing fits, and whenever they happen, I make sure that I am not around food and that my mouth is covered. (This is before the pandemic.) At around 10:00 am, my regional manager, who loves me to pieces, comes in.

Regional Manager: “[My Name], we got a corporate call about you.”

I’m a little worried, as our franchise takes these calls very seriously.

Me: *Cautiously* “What did I do?”

Regional Manager: “This lady says that when you were on the floor, away from food, you were pale, tired, sick, and sneezing, that you work too much, and how dare we not give you any days off.”

I choose to work four days a week. My company works with our availability and doesn’t schedule people when they aren’t available.

Me: “WHAT?!”

Regional Manager: *Laughing* “So I told your boss to call her back and tell her that you’re a redheaded student nurse who works four days a week, and you’re from Ireland, so of course, you’re pale, sick, and tired.”

Me: *Laughing* “[Boss], what did she say?”

I look to my general manager, who has been listening to our conversation.

Boss: “She didn’t pick up when I called. I have to call her again today. I hope she doesn’t answer.”

Cue another round of laughing. I love my bosses!

[florida80]

He Did His Research… But At What Cost?
BAD BEHAVIOR, COLLEGE & UNIVERSITY, MEDICAL OFFICE, MICHIGAN, THERAPIST, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 14, 2020
When I am a graduate student, I go to my university’s health clinic for routine HIV screening. My personal history is very low risk, but I am a sexually active gay man, and the CDC recommends testing of all MSM — men who have sex with men — every three to six months.

The testing at this clinic involves making an appointment, filling out a questionnaire, talking with a counselor, getting blood drawn, and then talking with a counselor again a week later. All of the counselors are, themselves, graduate students in either physical or mental health programs; most of them are not really prepared for a patient who can quote health statistics from the most recent literature on population-level studies of HIV-positive individuals in high-income countries.

The first few times are fine, though the counselors clearly are a bit surprised to be dealing with someone who hasn’t had drunken unprotected sex and is now worried about it, but is just there for routine testing.

Then, I have the Awful Counselor.

Awful Counselor: “When were you last tested?”

Me: “Either four or five months ago. I know it was in [Month], but I don’t remember if it was at the beginning or end of the month.”

Awful Counselor: “How many sexual partners have you had since then?”

Me: “One partner in that time frame, oral sex only.”

Awful Counselor: “Is this a new partner?”

Me: “No. I’ve had sex with him before, too. He’s one of my four partners so far in my life.”

Awful Counselor: “So, why are you here?”

Me: “Because health authorities recommend regular testing for any sexually active MSM?

Awful Counselor: “But you were here less than six months ago. No one should be tested more often than once a year unless they’re doing something they shouldn’t be.”

Me: “Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t the CDC specifically say that any sexually active MSM should be tested every three to six months?”

Awful Counselor: “Yes, but that’s wrong. It clearly shouldn’t be more often than once a year.”

She then rants about why people should get tested less often.

Me: “Well, okay, but I’m going to follow the CDC recommendations here. I trust them.”

Awful Counselor: “And you list yourself as low-anxiety?”

Me: “Yes. I know from my personal history that my odds of having contracted HIV are very low. But, there’s value from a public health standpoint if there’s more widespread compliance with recommended testing protocols.”

Awful Counselor: “Well, no one with the history you list would be here if they’re not anxious. So, either you are high-anxiety or this is not your accurate history. And that makes me wonder what else you’re lying about.”

Me: “Excuse me? You’re… accusing me of lying because I’m following CDC guidelines?”

Awful Counselor: “It’s possible that it’s not intentional on your part. But there’s no way everything you’ve said is true.”

Me: “You have literally no way to know that. And it’s also not even remotely your job to determine that. We’re done here.”

I left her office, told the secretary that the counselor hadn’t given me my paperwork for the blood draw, and went down to get the draw. I also grabbed a comment card and filled out how ludicrous and inappropriate the counselor was. For the rest of my time as a student there, I asked for a different counselor if I was assigned to the Awful Counselor. I don’t know how she kept that job.

[florida80]

Hey, No Pressure
MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 12, 2020
While I’m at the doctor’s to get a checkup for an overnight camp, the nurse comes in to check my pulse and blood pressure. As she’s doing this, she’s looking over my records. I’m thirteen. While I don’t have a severe needle phobia, I get very nervous when I have to get shots and just being in doctor’s offices in general.

Nurse: “Oh, since you’re about to start seventh grade, we need to give you [shot #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] and [shot #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] today.”

She pauses for a moment.

Nurse: “Huh, your blood pressure’s kinda high.”

I wonder why.

[florida80]

Do You Have Any Idea How Expensive Your Laziness Is?!
BAD BEHAVIOR, EMERGENCY SERVICES, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, NEW JERSEY, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 10, 2020
I volunteer for my township’s all-volunteer first aid squad. We have a designated crew manning the building during the day to answer any calls, but overnight, the designated crew responds from home via pager. My town and surrounding towns are not very big, so we or other towns sometimes have difficulty putting a crew together. For this reason, we have a “mutual aid” agreement with nearby towns. If we do not have a crew available, another town offers their crew, and vice versa.

Many people misuse the 911 system. They think that arriving at an emergency room by ambulance will mean faster service. It does not. I have literally been to a house in the middle of the night for a stubbed toe. There were four cars in the driveway and five people in the house, any one of whom could have driven the “patient” to the hospital… for the stubbed toe.

On one night shift, my pager goes off to respond to the next town over, which also happens to have the hospital that we take most of our patients to. Bleary-eyed, I drive to my building, meet up with my crew, grab an ambulance, set the GPS, and go off on our way.

Dispatch: “The patient is experiencing urinary retention.”

This can be very painful and dangerous to the kidneys.

And where was the house we ended up at? Across the street from the hospital emergency room entrance. And where was the patient? Sitting on his front porch with a packed bag and quietly reading a book. And how long had it been since he had passed urine? About three hours. Grrrrr!

[florida80]

Well, When You’re THAT Accident-Prone…
EMPLOYEES, FUNNY, MEDICAL OFFICE, NEW YORK, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 8, 2020
I am EXCEEDINGLY accident-prone, to the point that I joke that my hobby is keeping my doctors’ lives interesting. I also have a host of medical issues.

I seriously strained my right hamstring — it felt like a tearing, ripping sensation — last July while trying to lever a pokeweed root out of the ground — roots hard as trees and just as hard to remove. My friends told me that only I could manage to hurt my hamstring that way.

I started aquatic therapy for it, but my hamstring still hurt a lot, so my ortho ordered an MRI to see what was going on. I tell the MRI techs that, after a lifetime of x-rays, CAT scans, and MRIs, I have developed the ability to remain perfectly still for the entire time any of the tests are being done.

Apparently, they don’t believe me; they keep asking me if I am okay after each scan.

Me: “Why? Did you think I died here?”

Tech: “But you were so still!”

Evidently, they didn’t check to see that I was breathing.

[florida80]

Do A Little Brain Labor Here
MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, STUPID, TEXAS, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 5, 2020
I work in an obstetrics/gynecology clinic. My coworker answers the phone.

Coworker: “So, you think your water broke? Hang on while I get a nurse.”

I’m talking to another patient while listening to her. My coworker talks to a nurse and comes back to the phone.

Coworker: “Wait, so you’re at the hospital? No, you need to stay there and get evaluated. We can’t do anything here at the clinic. Stay at the hospital.”

I could only close my eyes, as hearing that one-sided conversation gave me a headache.

[florida80]

An Im-Patient Doctor
CANADA, CURRENT EVENTS, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, JERK, MANITOBA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 1, 2020
At eighteen, I was diagnosed with ADHD. Over the years, I’ve used different coping mechanisms to stay organized to varying degrees of effectiveness. I probably could have benefited from medications but felt like it wasn’t affecting my life too negatively.

Once the global health crisis hit, I was laid off.

When my industry reopens, the myriad of new regulations, sanitizing steps, changes to daily practice, and dealing with the public who may or may not have strong opinions on the rules all lead to my stress levels rising and my ADHD becoming more unmanageable. Brain fog and memory issues rise through the roof. Now, at thirty-six years old, I’ve decided to talk to a psychiatrist to look into medication options.

These are some highlights from my very frustrating two-hour appointment where I feel like I am defending the legitimacy of my diagnosis.

Doctor: “Your teachers never complained about you?”

Me: “No, but I still struggled in my classes.”

Doctor: “No one talked to your parents and your teachers never complained, so it couldn’t have been that bad.”

Also:

Doctor: “You studied subjects that required a lot of academic focus in college. So it couldn’t have been that bad.”

Me: “I ended up dropping out because I couldn’t maintain my GPA. I only did well in the classes I liked and needed for my degree. I failed the mandatory Bible classes everyone had to take.”

Bible college was a bad choice.

Also:

Doctor: “Do you ever have issues with distractibility?”

Me: “Sometimes I forget I’m hungry and I go all day without eating. Suppertime rolls around and I can’t figure out why I’m starving, and then I realize I might not have eaten at all that day.”

Doctor: “GOOD FOR YOU!”

Also:

Me: “My work has been really affected. All the new rules and regulations because of the health crisis have caused me to forget a lot of important things and it’s causing my performance to suffer.”

Doctor: “The crisis has changed everyone’s jobs. Your job isn’t that hard, anyway, not like a secretary. You don’t even need to concentrate that hard, not like a secretary.”

Also:

Doctor: “So why did you look for a diagnosis? Who referred you?”

Me: “My dad and my little sister both have it. I’ve had many of the same issues as my sister. She was diagnosed with dyslexia in kindergarten and they found out about her ADHD during those tests. At the time, I was just the chatty, loud, fidgety kid. I flew under the radar until years later when I realized I probably had it, as well. That’s why I looked into it.”

Doctor: “So why did you go looking for a diagnosis?”

Me: “Because it ran in my family? As I said, I already have a dad and sister with it, and I wanted to know before I went to college so I could be prepared during exams if I needed academic accommodations.”

I was close to tears a couple of times, and after I hung up, I realized I had been on the phone with him for two hours. I was so frustrated and upset. I talked with some friends about what happened and they all told me I should make a complaint.

I contacted my hospital’s Patient Experience Liaison as soon as I felt mentally ready. After an investigation, they found that I got an accurate assessment but his tone and wording did need to be addressed.

The doctor approached me and said he was sorry that I’d had such a negative experience and would use my complaints to focus on self-improvements. The director of the unit said my experience would be used to help teach students the importance of proper communication.

It’s in my file that I will never be scheduled with that doctor again.

There might not have been drastic changes, but I’m happy it’s on his record, and I hope that if others have issues with him, they also file reports.

[florida80]

Happy Hall-OW-ween
BIZARRE, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, INSURANCE, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 30, 2020
When I am in third grade, the day before Halloween, I trip at a friend’s house and break my right pinkie finger. Mom takes me to the local children’s hospital, I get X-rays and a half-cast, and life continues.

Exactly one year later, I trip at school and fracture three fingers on my left hand. My mother takes me to the same hospital, but the hairline fractures are nearly invisible, and the nurses wrap my hand and send me home. I try to argue that they are broken, and I know what it feels like, but only my mom believes me.

Three hours later, the hospital calls.

Employee: “Um, please bring her back in. Another doctor read the X-ray and her fingers are broken. Can you believe it? She needs a cast.”

But the true moment of hilarity was the poor insurance agent who handled the second claim. She spent a half-hour on the phone with my mom trying to sort out why there were two claims for broken fingers, filed on October 30, one year apart. I think she was expecting a prank or a misfile. My mom ended up asking questions like, “How many fingers does it say?” and, “Which hand is that for?”

I’m pretty sure it ended up as a write-off, because my mom only spoke with them once and we never heard about those claims again.

And yes, there were many jokes about one-upping myself for years after. I did end up getting a different finger caught in a car door later, but that’s another story.

[florida80]

They Didn’t Sign Up For This
AWESOME, COURIER, EMPLOYEES, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, NORTHERN IRELAND, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 28, 2020
I take medication which is supplied by a contractor. It is fragile, so it is delivered by a courier in a refrigerated van. When the supplier phones me to organise delivery, I ask them to deliver it to my local pharmacy so I don’t have to be there.

This happens for months without issue. One day, I’m at work and I receive a voicemail.

Voicemail: “Hi, [My Name], this is [Courier]. Unfortunately, you are not present to sign for the delivery, so I’m taking it back to the depot. Please phone [number] to reschedule when you are available.”

I don’t understand. Normally, the pharmacist signs for it, so why not this time? After work, I visit the pharmacist.

Me: “Hi, [Pharmacist]. What happened with [medicine]?”

Pharmacist: “The courier asked for you to sign for it. His instructions said, ‘Patient must sign.’ I tried explaining that in the context of a pharmacy, the pharmacist can sign for it. That’s my job. He insisted that it must be you.”

Me: “So he expected me to wait here all day?”

Pharmacist: “Apparently, yes. You may wish to reschedule it.”

I phone the supplier. The representative sounds embarrassed.

Supplier: “Mr. [My Surname], I’m very sorry. The notes do indeed say, ‘Patient must sign,’ so technically, he was doing what he was told. He may be new.”

Me: “These things happen. Can you reschedule the delivery, please?”

Supplier: “Of course. It will be delivered on [date]. I’ve changed the instructions to say, ‘Patient or pharmacist must sign.’ He has no excuses.”

The day after [date], I go to the pharmacy.

Me: “Hi, [Pharmacist]. Do you have my [medicine], delivered yesterday?”

Pharmacist: *Confused* “No? Nothing came, and I was here all day.”

This is now a problem. I am due to take the medicine tomorrow, but I have none left. I phone the supplier. I wait in a queue for forty minutes. My tone of voice is polite, but very, very direct.

Me: “What is your first name, please?”

Representative: “[Representative].”

Me: “Hello, [Representative]. I would like to speak to a manager, please.”

Representative: “What happened?”

Me: “I was due a delivery of [medicine] yesterday. It did not come. This is the second time in a row. Last time, the muppet of a driver thought that the pharmacist wasn’t qualified to sign for it.”

Representative: “Seriously?”

Me: “Seriously. Maybe the pharmacist said something like, ‘I went to pharmacy school for seven years; I think I know how to put a tube of [medicine] in the fridge.’ Anyway, the courier just took it back to the depot, and now another delivery has been missed.”

Representative: “Oh, dear. When do you need it by?”

Me: “I’m due to take it tomorrow. Thanks to the courier’s mistake, I don’t have any to take. I’m sure you understand that prescription medication must be taken as advised. I do not intend to find out what happens if I am late taking it.”

Representative: “I think the delivery was missed due to a mixup with a new computer system.”

Me: “Right, we’ll deal with the complaint later. How quickly can you get [medicine] to me?”

Representative: “We have no delivery slots today.”

Me: “I have a car. Can I collect it from the depot? I’ll get a coolbox to keep it refrigerated.”

Representative: “Oh… I— I honestly don’t know. I’ve never been asked that before. Can you hold? It might be a while.”

Me: “Take as long as you need.”

I start weeding my front yard. Thirty minutes later:

Representative: “Mr. [My Surname]?”

Me: “Call me [My First Name]. How did you do?”

Representative: “You can’t collect it from the depot, for security reasons. Instead, I will try and contract a special courier. It won’t be the courier we normally deal with. I’ll need to call round again. Can you hold, please?”

Me: “Take as long as you need.”

Anyway, I search for the depot online, just in case. I find it immediately, ten km away. Thirty-five minutes later:

Representative: “Hi, [My First Name]. I’ve had to phone about fourteen departments, but I found a courier. You will receive the delivery today. Can you please remain at your house all day?”

Me: “I’ll be in all day. Out of interest, what is the ‘security reason’? Do they not want people knowing where the depot is?”

Representative: “No, we had a break-in once. Something like £100,000 medicine was stolen, so we have strict rules on visitors now.”

Me: “Oh. That kind of makes sense, because this medicine costs £700 a time. Thank you very much for your patience. How do you spell your name?”

They spell their name for me.

Me: “I’ll tell your employer what a good job you have done.”

Representative: “Thank you very much!”

An hour later, a man arrived at my house with [medicine], and I finished weeding my yard.

[florida80]

He’s Getting Warmer… And Colder
COWORKERS, FACTORY/INDUSTRIAL, HEALTH & BODY, NEW HIRES, NORTHERN IRELAND | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 26, 2020
I’m an IT technician in a factory. My female colleague is heavily pregnant at the moment and has been suffering from Hyperemesis Gravidarum, so she’s doing a mixture of remote working and on-site working with significantly reduced hours. She only comes on-site if she feels well enough to do so.

Today is one of her better days, so she’s on-site. I’ve just come back from a job. My female colleague is nowhere to be seen, but all her stuff is sitting on her desk so she can’t be too far away. We have a placement student in our office at the moment, a lad in his early twenties. He’s a very capable IT technician but not yet very world wise.

Me: “Hey, [Student], where’s [Female Colleague]? Is she okay?”

Student: “She’s in the bathroom throwing up again.”

I flinch at his apparent lack of sensitivity and realise that, as the most senior person in our office, I may have to have words with him about this.

Student: “Hey, [My Name], I’m worried.”

Me: “Oh, about what?”

Student: “[Female Colleague] has been vomiting a lot. Every day she’s in, she keeps running to the bathroom to vomit. I’m worried about her; that’s not normal.”

Me: “No, [Student], you’re right. It’s not normal. But she has Hyperemesis Gravidarum, which means she’ll vomit a lot because of her pregnancy.”

Student: “But I don’t get it. When my sister was pregnant with my niece, she had morning sickness and it was nothing like as bad as this!”

Me: “Yeah, but this isn’t morning sickness, mate. It’s worse. A lot worse. Oh, and try and be a little bit more sensitive about it, yeah? It can’t be easy for her.”

Student: “Yeah, but it’s not normal!”

Me: *Sighing* “Of course, it’s not normal! That’s the point. She has… Look, just never mind, okay? Try and show a bit of sensitivity.”

I sat down at my desk, having given up trying to explain it to him. [Student] sat for a few minutes muttering, “It’s not normal…” until [Female Colleague] came back, red-faced, tearful, and feeling sorry for herself. I sat her down and got her a drink of water.

To [Student]’s credit, he DID later leave the room and come back with an ice lolly (popsicle) for [Female Colleague]! Clearly, in spite of his cluelessness, he’d been paying enough attention to realise that ice lollies were one of the few solids she was actually able to keep down. He later told me that he felt sorry for her and wanted to try to make her feel better. She seemed to really appreciate the gesture.

[florida80]

Kindness Isn’t The Best Medicine, But It Can Help You Buy It
ALBERTA, CANADA, EDMONTON, INSPIRATIONAL, KIND STRANGERS, MONEY, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 24, 2020
I walk into the pharmacy to pick up my husband’s medication. Up until now, we’ve had pretty decent prescription coverage. When I arrive, there are three people there: a husband and wife and the wife’s elderly mother.

While our pharmacist is checking our insurance, we discover that my husband’s medication is no longer covered, which is a problem, as we don’t have the money to cover the full price this month. I start to worry and panic. By this point, the husband, wife, and mother have left the pharmacy already.

A few moments later, the pharmacy phone rings.

Me: “Go ahead and answer it while I figure out what I’m going to do.”

After she hangs up, she looks at me.

Pharmacist #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “That was the woman that was here earlier with her husband and her mother. She’s offered to cover the rest of the cost of the medication you need.”

My heart soars and I tear up. I pay for what I can: $50 out of the original $110.

I think that is the end of it and I am so grateful. After I get home, I text my other pharmacist and ask him to thank the wife for me profusely. About twenty minutes later, the pharmacist calls me back.

Pharmacist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “The woman called us back, and she insisted that we give you your money back. She insisted on paying completely for your medication.”

I cried in my living room. I told my husband what had just happened and he couldn’t believe it.

We had never met these people before; they did this purely out of the goodness of their hearts. Wherever you and your family are, please know that my husband and I are eternally grateful for you. You really helped us out in a tight spot!

[florida80]

Many Hands Make Light Work
EMERGENCY SERVICES, INSPIRATIONAL, KIND STRANGERS, NEIGHBORS, NEW JERSEY, USA, WEATHER | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 22, 2020
I used to volunteer with my town’s first aid squad. Most of the calls would be relatively minor in nature, but every once in a while, a true life-or-death emergency would occur.

This story occurs on the day of a blizzard with over twelve inches of snow already on the ground. We get a call for chest pain and begin to head toward the house as quickly as is safely possible. As we get onto side streets, a township snow plow meets up with us to plow the road in front of the ambulance.

We arrive at the house to see a driveway on a steep incline that is, of course, covered with snow. We all make our way up without falling and go into the house. We find a patient having a true heart emergency and in need of the hospital immediately. Our team leader takes over.

Team Leader: “[Colleague #1] and [Colleague #2], go get the snow shovels out of the rig and start making a pathway to get [Patient] out. [My Name], get [this equipment], [that equipment], and [other equipment] and bring it inside.

The three of us went outside. The other two started shoveling a pathway while I started grabbing the necessary equipment. As I started carrying it up to the house, a neighbor with a snowblower made his way over and started clearing the snow from the driveway. Suddenly, two more neighbors with snowblowers arrived and joined in the effort. On my second trip outside, I watched as two teenagers with shovels ran over and started clearing off the steps. A moment later, yet another neighbor appeared with a bag of sand and she began to coat the steps & driveway to improve traction.

We were able to get the patient down the driveway, into the ambulance, and safely to the hospital, where he made a full recovery. And my faith in humanity? Restored!

[florida80]

Sit Down, Take A Break
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, MICHIGAN, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 20, 2020
I’m about ten years old and have just fractured my arm in two places. The breaks are minor enough that they don’t hurt, so I am much calmer than my parents, who have brought me to the emergency room. My mother brings me in to see an ER doctor while my father parks the car. The doctor is about as calm as I am.

Doctor: “You just have two little fractures on either side of your wrist.”

Me: “Okay.”

Doctor: “And how did you break this again?”

Me: “I tripped over a tent string in the dark.”

Doctor: *To my mother* “She seems like a bookish kid.”

Mom: “Yeah. She is.”

Doctor: “I think she’ll be okay with just a splint.”

And I was. No bulky cast for me!

[florida80]

Sit Down, Take A Break
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, MICHIGAN, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 20, 2020
I’m about ten years old and have just fractured my arm in two places. The breaks are minor enough that they don’t hurt, so I am much calmer than my parents, who have brought me to the emergency room. My mother brings me in to see an ER doctor while my father parks the car. The doctor is about as calm as I am.

Doctor: “You just have two little fractures on either side of your wrist.”

Me: “Okay.”

Doctor: “And how did you break this again?”

Me: “I tripped over a tent string in the dark.”

Doctor: *To my mother* “She seems like a bookish kid.”

Mom: “Yeah. She is.”

Doctor: “I think she’ll be okay with just a splint.”

And I was. No bulky cast for me!

[florida80]

Shout-Out To Frazzled Nurses!
CURRENT EVENTS, FUNNY, HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NURSES, USA, UTAH | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 18, 2020
In July, both my wife and I contract the illness the health crisis is centered on, and we are taken to the local hospital. However, because I have complications, it is decided that I need to be transferred to a larger hospital with a pulmonologist available.

I am transferred by ambulance to the bigger hospital where there are staff waiting to admit me. I am on a stretcher with various medical staff around me. There is one nurse doing transfer paperwork for me.

Nurse: “So, do you prefer to be called Dave or David?”

This question has me puzzled.

Me: “My name is John!

Nurse: “Oops, I really must check the paperwork properly!”

[florida80]

Testing Their Patients And Their Patience
CANADA, CURRENT EVENTS, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, STUPID | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 14, 2020
I work at a medical clinic. During the health crisis, I have variations of the following story many times.

Me: “Has the patient been tested for [illness] recently?”

Patient’s Ride: “Oh, he lives at a seniors’ facility, and they get tested regularly.”

Me: *Pause* “The actual [illness] test where they get a swab?”

Patient’s Ride: “Oh, well, they get their temperatures taken regularly.”

How people at this point don’t understand the difference between being screened and tested, I will never know.

[florida80]

What A Load Of Crap
BLOOD DONATION, NURSES, STUPID, UK | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 10, 2020
I have been giving blood for years now without issue. Being slim, a few nurses ask me to confirm my weight because the clinic will not accept donations from anyone under fifty kg.

Nurse: “What is your weight, please?”

Me: “It’s fifty-five kg.”

Nurse: “No, it’s not. You’re underweight.”

Me: “Yes, it really is fifty-five kg; I can jump on some scales right now if you like.”

Nurse: “No, we don’t have any here. You are not fifty-five kg. When did you weigh yourself?”

Me: “This morning, because I knew I was coming here.”

Nurse: “Before breakfast and undressed?”

Me: “Yes, of course.”

Nurse: “Was it before or after you went to the bathroom?”

Me: “I had already had a wee before I weighed myself.”

Nurse: “But not passed a stool? That will account for the discrepancy, then.”

Me: “Wait. What? The cut off is fifty kg; I’m five kg over that. I can’t lose that in one trip to the bathroom.”

Nurse: “Oh, you’d be surprised.”

In the end, I was allowed to donate if I promised to completely empty my bowels before the next visit — all five kg of it, apparently.

[florida80]

Thanks, Doctor Wazowski!
CURRENT EVENTS, DENTIST, FUNNY, MOVIES & TV, PENNSYLVANIA, PITTSBURGH, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 9, 2020
To make a long story short, due to the health crisis, I end up needing to get my six-month cleaning done at a dentist I’ve never been to before. As expected, a ton of precautions are in place: waiting outside, wearing a mask until they actually start working inside your mouth, the employees wearing extra protection, etc.

I get checked in, x-rayed, and seated in the chair just fine. Among the equipment in the room is a long metal arm with joints for maneuvering and a cone at the end. When the hygienist pulls the arm around and positions the cone a few inches away from my face; I assume it’s a light.

However, before the hygienist turns it on, she explains that it’s a “suction device” to prevent germs from escaping. Nice precaution, but as soon as she says “suction,” I can feel my eyes bug out because, knowing that’s its purpose, the shape suddenly looks VERY familiar.

Me: “What?! But… it looks exactly like the Scream Extractor from Monsters, Inc.!”

Hygienist: *Laughing* “Yeah, a lot of people have been saying that. I never saw that movie, so I didn’t get it, but I just watched it a few days ago and went, ‘Oh, my gosh, yeah. We have the Scream Machine.’”

So, I had my cleaning done with a loud vacuum running a few inches from my face, and I left very grateful that they had seen me and with a hilarious story to text to the siblings.

[florida80]

The Least Annoying Telemarketer Ever
AWESOME, HEALTH & BODY, INSPIRATIONAL, KIND STRANGERS, TELEMARKETING, THE NETHERLANDS | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 8, 2020
The official description of colic — or “crybaby” as is its literal translation from Dutch — is “a baby that cries at least three hours a day, at least three days a week, for at least three weeks,” and it usually passes by the fourth month.

When I was a baby, I cried for twenty hours a day, every day, for over seven months. The doctors weren’t able to find a cause. Food intolerances were tried and ruled out, my parents were accused of malingering and observed in the hospital to make sure they weren’t exaggerating and/or inducing the crying, and my parents were advised to have me sleep in the barn or have me sleep over at the home of a deaf elderly relative.

Around the seven-month mark, a telemarketer called our exhausted family to sell some kind of overpriced private health insurance.

My father picked up the phone and interrupted the sales spiel.

Father: “My baby has been crying twenty hours a day for the past seven months. She’s obviously in pain, and the doctors can’t find the cause or solve it and are still looking. You don’t want us as your customers.”

Telemarketer: “No, I totally understand. I hope I’m not overstepping, but have you tried a chiropractor? That could be KISS syndrome.”

My parents had not tried a chiropractor.

One week later, to the chiropractor I went.

That afternoon, my older brother — who didn’t know I had had any kind of appointment that day — looked at my parents in obvious concern.

Brother: “I think there’s something wrong with the baby. They’re never this quiet.”

My parents didn’t buy from the telemarketer, and they don’t remember her name. But we are all very glad a salesperson called us that day.

[florida80]

Time To Put This Working Relationship Behind You
BAD BEHAVIOR, CANADA, COWORKERS, HEALTH & BODY, OFFICE, VANCOUVER | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 7, 2020
I was in a work-related accident years ago and have a recurring neck issue. During one flareup, I head to our first aid person to note the pain in case I have to leave early from work or go to the doctor.

First Aid: “Where does it hurt?”

I point at the back of my neck and she stands behind me, poking at the spot.

First Aid: “We could try a realignment.”

Me: “No. No, thank you. This is recurring and I just need it noted. I’ll see my doctor if it gets worse.”

First Aid: “But we could just—”

Me: “No. I don’t need treatment. Just please note it.”

She starts massaging the area and pulling me to her.

Me: “Look—”

She takes my head and turns it sharply, making my neck audibly snap.

Me: “What the f***?!”

I stumbled forward away from her, suddenly lightheaded. I walked away, not looking back, furious that she snapped my neck without permission. She’s not allowed behind me ever again.

[florida80]

You Need Thick Skin To Deal With These Thick Skulls
BIZARRE, CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, EMERGENCY ROOM, HOSPITAL, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, INDONESIA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 6, 2020
I’m the attending doctor at the ER. Earlier this morning, we treated a man who crashed his bike and got a pretty nasty bruise as well as a concussion. A CT scan showed a fractured bone so he’ll need surgery. He told us he’d be using insurance, so he “wants a full record of everything you guys find.”

Later that day, a woman comes into the ER and starts banging on our table.

Woman: “EXCUSE ME! WHICH ONE OF YOU TREATED [PATIENT]?!”

Me: “Yes ma’am. I’m Doctor [My Name]. How can I he—”

Woman: “ARE YOU WEARING UNDERWEAR?!”

As you can guess, everyone in the room stops whatever they’re doing.

Me: “Pardon?”

Woman: “YES, YOU! ARE YOU WEARING UNDERWEAR?”

Me: “I don’t see how it’s— Why, yes, of course. What seems to be the matter?”

Woman: “Are you really? So why is it not stated in your uniform? Or your nametag?”

Me: “What does it have to do with [Patient], may I ask?”

Woman: “How dare you write in the report that my husband was not wearing a helmet?! I’ve just got a call from my insurance company that they’ll not pay the surgery because you wrote that he wasn’t wearing a helmet!“

Nurse: “Well, ma’am, your husband did say he wanted a full report exactly because he wants to use insurance.”

Woman: *Turns to nurse* “Well, b****, are you wearing a bra?! Now if he asks for a full report, why didn’t you also write in whether he’s wearing underwear or not? That’s not full report, is it, b****?“

Me: “Because we’re writing down things that are medically relevant. The fact he’s not wearing a helmet is, because he came in with a—”

Woman: “I don’t care! Now you’re gonna pay for his surgery because my insurance won’t pay! And it’s your fault!“

Then she stormed out of the ER, but not before yelling loudly, “THE DOCTOR IS NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR!”

[florida80]

If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again, Part 8
ASSISTED LIVING, ENGLAND, HEALTH & BODY, REVOLTING, UK, YORKSHIRE | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 5, 2020
I work in a specialist nursing home for people with severe and enduring mental health problems. A female resident with South East Asian origins enjoys cooking and offers to make traditional chai tea for staff, under supervision.

Whilst being assisted by a support worker whose English is not great, she adds more than fifty teaspoons of sugar to the pan, as well as spices and other ingredients.

Me: “This tea tastes really good!”

Those of us who don’t mind the sweetness enjoy it.

Then, the support worker tells a colleague about part of the cooking process.

Support Worker: “She just crushed the walnuts by crunching them in her mouth and then spitting them into the pan.”

She hadn’t realised that people would find this revolting!

We agreed that when she made it again, she needed to use appropriate equipment to do that task. Thankfully, the support worker saw the sense of this.

I was not too concerned about this, given how many motorway service stations I ate in during my childhood in the 1970s, where I probably ingested far worse!

Related:

[florida80]

Microsoft Doesn’t Works
COLLEGE & UNIVERSITY, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, KANSAS, KANSAS CITY, LIBRARY, TECHNOLOGY, USA | RIGHT | DECEMBER 5, 2020
I completely understand that not everyone is great with computers. Sometimes, it’s just simple stuff, but as long as they’re willing to learn, I’m happy to go over it with them. This one woman, however, drives me to insanity. She’s maybe in her late thirties.

She has come in multiple times and has asked me to show her how to do the same thing each time: to save and print her document. I get the overall impression that she isn’t listening to me.

Up until the most recent encounter with her, it appeared that she was knowledgeable with Word as she had a full paper done in the seemingly correct format, double-spaced, and indented properly.

Patron: “Hey, can you help me indent this paragraph? It’s giving me issues.”

Me: “Sure! Okay, just press Enter to get that to the new paragraph, then press Tab to… Oh.”

It turns out that instead of using the easy Select All and double-space feature on Word, she had pressed enter after each line to make the document double-spaced.

Me: “Oh, hey, I have a super easy trick to double-space everything at once that will solve your formatting issue. Just go up here to—”

Patron: “—and click that and press 2.0 to double-space. Yeah, I know. It’s fine; I’ll just print it this way. Now how do I save and print?”

I showed her, yet again, and then walked away, extremely bewildered. I dread when she comes in because she always asks for help and I know she won’t listen to anything I say.

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #217659 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=217659)
KANSAS, LIBRARY, USA | UNFILTERED | DECEMBER 4, 2020
(The library has many computers for public use, and patrons can print things out if they want. A patron walks up to me, looking confused.)

Library patron: If I choose the “print in color” option, will it come out on colored paper?

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #214182 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=214182)
COLLEGE & UNIVERSITY, KANSAS, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA | UNFILTERED | NOVEMBER 3, 2020
I had been not feeling well, so I went to the student clinic on campus.
Me: I’ve be extremely nauseated and dizzy lately.
Nurse Practitioner: Have you been drinking?
Me: No
Nurse Practitioner: Well, why not?!
Me: Oh, you mean water?

[florida80]

I’ll Take My Celery Salary Now, Please
FUNNY, HOME, KANSAS, PETS & ANIMALS, SILLY, USA | RELATED | OCTOBER 31, 2020
I’m eating celery when my dog sees that I’m eating something and comes up to me begging.

Me: “You don’t like celery.”

Dog continues begging.

Me: “No.”

Dog whines.

Me: “You don’t like celery.”

Dog continues whining and begging.

Me: “Fine.”

I give him a piece and he spits it out.

Me: “I told you.”

Dog sees me eating and starts begging.

Me: “It’s still celery.”

[florida80]

Nothing Is As Scary As Customers
COWORKERS, HOLIDAYS, KANSAS, PRANKS, RETAIL, SILLY, USA | WORKING | OCTOBER 28, 2020
I work at a big box retail store. A few days before Halloween, a coworker comes up behind me.

Coworker: “Hey, [My Name].”

I turn around. He is wearing a Halloween mask.

Me: “Yes?”

Coworker: “Darn it! I was trying to scare you.”

Me: “If it makes you feel better, I was a little startled, but working here has taught me how to stay calm.”

[florida80]

What A Baka!
BOSSES & OWNERS, CANADA, JERK, MONTREAL, PHARMACY, WORDPLAY | WORKING | MAY 21, 2018
(My supervisor is known for being quite a nit-pick and strictly following rules that don’t actually exist. Also, I’ve taken a few years of Japanese classes. One day, I get a Japanese customer at my register while my supervisor is filling a display right behind me. The customer and I chat in Japanese while I scan his items, and he asks to pay with his credit card. By company policy, we have to check an ID for every foreign credit card. The customer complies and hands me his Japanese driver license, because he forgot his passport at the hotel. I confirm that the credit card is his, and I am about to hand him his license back.)

Supervisor: “Wait! What are you doing?” *snatches the license from my hand* “You can’t accept this!”

Me: “Why is that? I know that it isn’t a passport, but this is a government-issued ID, and his picture is on it, so I don’t see why I can’t accept it.”

Supervisor: “Well, this ID is not in our alphabet! You can only accept IDs written in our alphabet.”

Me: “First, since when is this a rule? Second, you’ve heard me speak with him for the past two minutes; you know that I speak the language. I can read this, and confirm that the credit card is his.”

Supervisor: “It has to be in our alphabet! You have to be able to read it to accept it.”

Me: “But… [Supervisor], I can read it!”

Supervisor: “Hmph, I’ll let it slide for today, but don’t do that again!”

(I asked the store manager the next day. That rule doesn’t exist.)

[florida80]

Smoking Puts You Out Of Sync
LAZY/UNHELPFUL, NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MAY 21, 2018
(At the pharmacy where I work, we sell cigarettes, among other things. This exchange happens more often than I’d like to admit.)

Customer: “Can I get [Brand] cigarettes?”

(The customer does not specify which strength or flavor of the cigarettes, as we have many.)

Me: “Which kind?”

Customer: “[Brand].”

Me: “Which type of [Brand]?”

Customer: “Oh! [Strength].”

Me: “Okay, would you like the box, soft pack, or 100s?”

Customer: “[Strength].”

Me: “Box it is.”

Customer: “I want 100s!”

Me: *screaming internally*

[florida80]

Spells Something Else Entirely
CALIFORNIA, FUNNY NAMES, PHARMACY, SACRAMENTO, USA, WORDPLAY | RIGHT | MAY 19, 2018
(I’m the customer in this story. I’ve just seen my doctor for the first time, and she’s sent down a prescription for me to the pharmacy downstairs. I make it up to the window, and there are a ton of people down there, so it’s a little noisy.)

Clerk: “It looks like your prescription isn’t ready yet, but I’m going to write down your name so we can call you when it’s ready. Can you give me your name?”

Me: *gives name*

Clerk: “And who’s your doctor?”

Me: “Dr. Fu.”

Clerk: “Sorry, it’s a little loud, I didn’t quite hear that. Can you spell your doctor’s name for me?”

Me: “Sure. It’s F-U.” *pause* “Oh, my God, that’s not what I meant!”

Clerk: *laughs*

[florida80]

When Double Trouble Is Not Enough
FUNNY KIDS, PHARMACY, SIBLINGS, USA | RELATED | MAY 11, 2018
(I’m waiting in line for the cashier when a woman walks up behind me with two boys. They’re junior-high-aged and alike as two peas in a pod.)

Woman: “[Boy #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ], you keep our place in line while I take [Boy #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] over to look at the braces.”

(She walks off with the other lad.)

Me: “So, is it fun being a twin?”

Boy #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : *grinning* “We aren’t twins.”

Me: “…”

Boy #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : *grinning even more hugely* “We’re triplets!“

[florida80]

Spoon-Feeding You Some Advice
HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | MAY 9, 2018
(Sadly, I’m the stupid customer in this one. I have bronchitis and have just made it home from the pharmacy with my cough syrup. When I open the bag, I notice the cup that you use to take the medicine isn’t in there, so I call the pharmacy.)

Pharmacist: “Thank you for calling [Pharmacy]. This is [Pharmacist]. How can I help you?”

Me: “Hi. This is [My Name]. I just picked up my prescription for [cough syrup], and when I got home I saw that it didn’t have the cup thing you use to take it with.”

Pharmacist: “I’m sorry, [My Name]. Do you want to come back and pick one up?”

Me: “Well, I have to take the bus, and I don’t want to get everyone else sick, too.”

Pharmacist: “Okay, well, do you bake?”

Me: *slightly confused* “Yes?”

Pharmacist: “Then you can use the teaspoon measuring spoon from your baking set.”

Me: “But… but… I need medicine teaspoons, not baking teaspoons.”

(She then proceeded to calmly explain to me that teaspoons were teaspoons, no matter what they were used for.)

[florida80]

Prescribing Some Honesty
CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, OHIO, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MAY 4, 2018
(I work in the pharmacy of a large drug store chain. A few weeks prior to this incident, a man came in and was acting twitchy. He eventually shoved some greeting cards down his pants and put a beer in his pocket before leaving. Shoplifting is hard to prove, but we got it on camera. On a day I am working, he comes back in with some prescriptions. I start putting them in; I have no idea about the previous incident.)

Lead Tech: “Stop! Don’t fill his stuff. [Manager] said since we got him stealing on camera, we can ask him to leave.”

(He goes to alert the pharmacist of the situation.)

Pharmacist: “[Shoplifter]! I am sorry, but I can’t fill this prescription for you.”

Shoplifter: “Why not? I need my medicine.”

Pharmacist: “Sir, last time you were in, we caught you stealing on camera, and we are choosing not to serve you. Please take your prescriptions elsewhere.” *hands him back his papers*

Shoplifter: *takes them* “It was only a beer!”

(He did end up taking his prescriptions and leaving, and the pharmacist filled me in on the previous incident. We were all so shocked that he admitted to stealing, and then also tried to act like it was okay!)

[florida80]

Name Change Approved
AUSTRALIA, HOBART, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, TASMANIA, WORDPLAY | HEALTHY | MAY 4, 2018
(A customer is picking up a regular prescription medication but he also wants something else.)

Customer: “Can I also have some ‘Stuffy Nose Squirts’?”

[florida80]

Prescribing Some Honesty
CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, OHIO, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MAY 4, 2018
(I work in the pharmacy of a large drug store chain. A few weeks prior to this incident, a man came in and was acting twitchy. He eventually shoved some greeting cards down his pants and put a beer in his pocket before leaving. Shoplifting is hard to prove, but we got it on camera. On a day I am working, he comes back in with some prescriptions. I start putting them in; I have no idea about the previous incident.)

Lead Tech: “Stop! Don’t fill his stuff. [Manager] said since we got him stealing on camera, we can ask him to leave.”

(He goes to alert the pharmacist of the situation.)

Pharmacist: “[Shoplifter]! I am sorry, but I can’t fill this prescription for you.”

Shoplifter: “Why not? I need my medicine.”

Pharmacist: “Sir, last time you were in, we caught you stealing on camera, and we are choosing not to serve you. Please take your prescriptions elsewhere.” *hands him back his papers*

Shoplifter: *takes them* “It was only a beer!”

(He did end up taking his prescriptions and leaving, and the pharmacist filled me in on the previous incident. We were all so shocked that he admitted to stealing, and then also tried to act like it was okay!)

[florida80]

Looks Like They Already Had Their Drugs
NEW YORK, PHARMACY, RUDE & RISQUE, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 19, 2018
(I have just started my first job at a local pharmacy and convenience store, and it is my third day of training. I am standing behind the counter with an older coworker of mine. We hear the door open, and look over.)

Customer: *quickly walks through the doors and to the other end of the floor, where the pharmacy is*

Me: *looking at my coworker* “Was she…”

Coworker: *taking a sip of an energy drink* “…not wearing any pants? Welcome to the job, kid.”

Me: “…”

[florida80]

At Least You Know The Medicine Is Kosher
NEW YORK, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | APRIL 16, 2018
(I am the dumb customer in this instance. The store that I work at has a pharmacy in it, where I get all of my medications. The store has a policy in the pharmacy where the first three letters of the customers names are printed on the bags you pick up your prescriptions in. The first time I go to pick up a prescription there, I have never seen this before. Upon picking up my prescription, I see the first three letters of my last name.)

Prescription: “JEW.”

Me: *in genuine confusion* “No, I’m not?”

[florida80]

When You Work For Them You’re Branded
BOSSES & OWNERS, INDIANA, NEW HIRES, PHARMACY, USA | WORKING | APRIL 9, 2018
(I get hired for [Popular Pharmacy Chain] and go through their training. It’s all through their computer system, with videos and quizzes. There’s a thirty-minute session on “branded greetings,” which explains how I have to say the same things during every transaction so customers always have a uniform experience at every store in the chain. I feel like a robot doing this, but I’m good at the spiel after about a week. Then, my manager pulls me aside.)

Manager: “Why are you using branded greetings?”

Me: *thinking this is a test* “Um… so that every customer gets the same treatment at every store and we deliver a uniform experience.”

Manager: “We haven’t used those in years. People said we sounded like robots, and corporate made us stop.”

Me: “Well, it’s still in the training.”

Manager: “Oh, well, you don’t have to do that anymore. I apparently have to update the training software.” *runs off*

Me: *facepalm*

[florida80]

Not Passing With Flying Colors
DUBLIN, EMPLOYEES, IRELAND, JERK, PHARMACY | WORKING | APRIL 3, 2018
(I am in a well-known UK-based pharmacy and drugstore, looking for a hand cream. I am wearing ripped jeans, combat boots, and a leather jacket, and have very short hair. I smile at the staff as I walk in and set off in search of the right aisle, minding my own business. As I open a tube to smell the cream, the worker beside the door rushes up and snatches the bottle out of my hand.)

Worker: “Can you not open the products? What are you looking for?”

Me: “Oh, sorry, I was just smelling it. I’m fine, thanks.”

(I think that’s the end of it, as she stalks off. I pick up my items and turn the corner, checking out the makeup. As I swatch a lipstick tester, the same worker storms up and glares at me.)

Worker: “I said don’t open the products! You’ll have to pay for it now!”

Me: “Excuse me? This is a tester, and I haven’t even touched it yet!”

Worker: “Fine. Sit down. I’ll match a colour to you. You clearly need it; whoever matched your current foundation must be colour-blind.”

Me: *taken aback by the sheer rudeness of this woman* “Er. No, thanks.”

(I walked away, irritated, but still with some time to kill before my bus home, so I browsed some other items. I could see the worker following me closely and glaring if I so much as reached out towards a product. Eventually, I had enough. I went to the till, with her following. The girl at the checkout scanned my items and my loyalty card and told me my total. As I handed her my money, the rude worker stormed over and grabbed the iodine pen, scribbling all over my note, a smug grin on her face. I waited as nothing happened to my money, and silently fumed as I was handed my receipt. I felt her glare boring into my back as I left the shop, seriously having to bite down on my tongue to stop myself from yelling at her. I get that workers are supposed to upsell and offer assistance, but judging me outright by my appearance, being incredibly rude about my makeup, and being convinced I’m a thief with no reason is taking it a bit far.)

[florida80]

Would You Like A Cosmo With Your Allergy Bran?
HOLIDAYS, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, LOUISIANA, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | APRIL 1, 2018
(It’s Easter Sunday. My parents, my grandmother, and I are coming back from an early dinner out at an uptown restaurant and we stop to pick up some prescriptions for my grandmother at an old pharmacy where the restroom is in the back room. This exchange occurs just as I exit the back room after using the restroom.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I’m looking for [Specific Allergy Brand], but I can’t find it, and this is the allergy aisle. Would it be anywhere else?”

Me: “I have no idea, sorry. Um, good luck.”

(The customer muttered something under her breath that I couldn’t hear as I was walking away. During this exchange I was wearing a cocktail dress and heels, and she looked right at me as she was asking her question.)

[florida80]

It’s A Man’s World Of Pain
AUSTRALIA, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, MELBOURNE, NON-DIALOGUE, PHARMACY, VICTORIA | HEALTHY | MARCH 12, 2018
I have an eight-and-a-bit-month-old child, and I’ve been having some pain during sex, so I book in to see my OB-GYN.

The appointment is really straightforward and I’m told to go get a cream. I also have a birth control rod inserted whilst I’m there. I wander over to the pharmacy and hand over my script. I’m not asked for my Medicare card, but I’m asked if I have concession.

I reply no, with no more thought into the answer. I wait and collect my script and note that I’ve been charged a concession price. Not thinking too much into it, and thinking that I must have one linked to my Medicare card, I pay the $12.80 instead of $50 to $80 for my items and head back across the road.

I get the rod implanted and continue about my day, a bit perplexed how I got charged concession. It’s not until later that night when I’m reading the script again that I realise they’ve put it under the wrong name. I’m a Mrs. [My Name], and they put it under a Mr. [Same Name].

I burst out laughing that they have given a man vaginal cream and contraception, at an OB-GYN.

[florida80]

A Picture Of Bad Parenting
BAD BEHAVIOR, BIZARRE, KENTUCKY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MARCH 8, 2018
(I go into the store to pick up some photo prints I ordered online. Unfortunately, before I can get to the counter another customer beats me to the unmanned counter. As she approaches she immediately begins yelling.)

Customer: “CAN SOMEONE COME OVER HERE AND HELP ME?!”

(An employee approaches the counter.)

Customer: “I ordered these prints online; I need them.”

Employee: “Okay, what name are they under?”

Customer: “I don’t know; I don’t know if they made it.”

Employee: “You don’t know?”

Customer: “I used this app and it won’t send. You need to just do it.”

Employee: “I’m sorry. We aren’t allowed to—”

Customer: *sighs dramatically* “Well, what am I supposed to do?”

Employee: “You need to click on—”

Customer: “I already did that.”

Employee: “Well, try it again.”

Customer: “There, see? Now what?!”

Employee: “So, now, you need to—”

Customer: “This is stupid! I’m just going to go back to the main menu. So, what do I do from here?”

(The employee attempts several times to guide the customer through the process, and she continues to cut her off and ignore her suggestions. The customer appears to be in a huge hurry, and is obviously aggravated. Finally, after a few minutes.)

Customer: *about the app* “This is a joke. This is a total joke. Fine. Whatever. We’ll do this on Facebook.” *she takes a few minutes to find the picture she wants, all the while muttering* “I left those kids at the park. I left those d*** kids at the park… There, this picture. Can I just crop everyone out except this one person?”

Employee: “Well, what that will do is it will still be the same size and—”

Customer: “Is there any other way we can do this?!”

Employee: “You can hook your phone up to the photo kiosk, but it will download all of your photos.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I can’t get this Internet to work. My man is going to kill me; I left those d*** kids at the park.”

Employee: “We don’t get a good connection in the store.”

Customer: “I HAVE WI-FI.”

Employee: “We don’t have Wi-Fi here.”

Customer: “YOU MEAN I’M GOING TO HAVE TO GO OUT TO MY CAR TO GET ON THE INTERNET?!”

Employee: “You probably would have better luck in the back of the parking lot, yes.”

Customer: *stomps out while muttering* “I left those kids at the park.”

(I still can’t understand what could possibly be so important about this picture that she had to leave her children at the park to go get it!)

[florida80]

Vie For A Vial
CALIFORNIA, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, JERK, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MARCH 6, 2018
(I just started working at a small, independent pharmacy. It’s located in the downtown area of a small town that is predominantly upper-middle-class families. And with that population, we get patients in that ask for a bit more specific requests than what I’m used to. I have just started and am being trained when I overhear this conversation with my technician. Note: since we are small pharmacy, profit margins are tight, so for expensive medications, we don’t open the bottles and fill them until the patient has come to pick up and paid. We pride ourselves on customer service, doing almost anything for the customer.)

Customer: “I’m here to pick up for [Customer].”

Tech: “All right, just give me a few moments to pour these bottles into the vial.”

(She is getting over 400 tablets of the medication.)

Customer: “Let me see what you’re putting it in.”

Tech: *shows the vial* “Will this one be good for you?”

Customer: “No! That one is too tall; I’m going to spill it.

Tech: *shows different vial* “What about this one?”

Customer: “No! It’s too short; I’m going to lose it.”

Tech: *shows another vial* “This one? I can fit it in two of them.”

Customer: “I don’t want to; that’s too much!”

(This repeats for a couple minutes, going over various vials, usually the same one, multiple times, the customer making up some random excuse.)

Tech: *showing her the first vial* “What about this one?”

Customer: “Yes! That one is perfect!”

(The tech finishes up putting her medications together and the patient leaves.)

Me: “How did you handle that without freaking out?”

Tech: “I was about to punch her in her face if she said no to another one of these stupid bottles.”

[florida80]

Needs To Prescribe Some Anger-Management
GERMANY, JERK, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | MARCH 3, 2018
(I work at a call centre for a German online pharmacy. Unlike other pharmacies, we allow customers to pre-order medicines which requires prescriptions. It should go without saying, but we’re not allowed to ship orders that contain a prescription, until the original is sent to us by a postal service. There are also no shipping costs for our customer, if there is a prescription.)

Me: “Your [Pharmacy]. You are speaking with [My Name].”

Customer: “I placed an order last week at your store and it still hasn’t arrived. Where is it?”

Me: “Oh, that doesn’t sound so good. Could you please tell me your order number?”

(The customer doesn’t have it, so I search for her by name. It takes me a while to find her, as she has a very common name and doesn’t want to give me her postal code.)

Me: “Ah, there we have you. I’m afraid your prescription for [Medicine] hasn’t arrived yet.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! I do not need a prescription for that order! Send them to me at once!”

(I try to stay cool.)

Me: “Ma’am, [Medicine] requires a prescription, by law. We cannot deliver this order until we have the original prescription.”

Customer: “Then you should at least have told me so!”

Me: “Our online store has classified this item as one that requires a prescription. You have also received an order confirmation that asks you for your prescription.”

Customer: “No, I never received a confirmation, so don’t dare lie to me!”

Me: “Uh… Ma’am, I do not understand; you received the confirmation on [date and time].”

Customer: “No, I never did; I’ll show you!”

(I can hear her typing and the sound of a mail program opening. She waits for a moment, and then she starts mumbling to herself.)

Customer: “’Dear Mrs. [Name], thank you for your order. Please send us your your original prescription by mail, so we can continue with that order.’”

(The customer wheezes angrily.)

Customer: “This is way too complicated with your store! Other pharmacies will send them to me immediately!”

Me: “Ma’am, even other pharmacies have to wait for your prescription, as [Medicine] requires one.”

Customer: “I will never order at your store ever again! I’ve never been insulted this badly in my entire life!”

(The customer called the next day. She made a new order without the prescription and asked if that was all right.)

[florida80]

Sarah Connor’s Pharmacy Job
BOSSES & OWNERS, CANADA, EMPLOYEES, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, JERK, ONTARIO, PHARMACY | WORKING | FEBRUARY 21, 2018
(I get a job at a small pharmacy as a cashier. The job involves a lot more than just simple cashiering, but I catch on quite quickly, and within a month the possibility of increasing my hours is discussed. The store then goes under new owners, but all the cashiers are kept on staff, and assured that their jobs are secure. Fast forward to my next shift. This takes place in July.)

Owner: “[My Name], can you come into the office for a minute? I just want to have a quick word.”

Me: “Sure!” *thinking the uniforms he ordered for us had come in*

Owner: “I’ve been thinking it over, and this really isn’t a job that can be done part-time. In order to stay up to date on all the policies and information, everyone really has to be here full-time. With all the students leaving soon to go back to school, I’ve decided that it would be easiest to let all the students go now.”

Me: “Okay…” *thinking I’m about to be offered the full-time position, as I’m not a student*

Owner: “I’m sorry; I just find it easiest to terminate people before their shift starts.”

Me: “Wait. What?”

Owner: “As of right now, you’re terminated.”

Me: “But I’m not a student.”

Owner: *shocked* “What?! You’re not?”

Me: “No. I’ve been out of high school for a few years, and am holding off on going to college.”

Owner: “Oh, nobody told me that.”

Me: “So, is there any way I could be kept on, full-time?”

Owner: “I would have to think about it.”

Me: *blank look*

Owner: “You see, I already filled the full-time positions, and filed the termination paperwork. If you want to reapply, I’ll consider rehiring you if something falls through with one of the new employees, but all but one have already accepted the job, and I already offered it to the other one.”

Me: “Okay, then. When does the termination take effect?”

Owner: “Right now. I did it now because it’s easiest to do it, and get it done within the first three months.”

(I was too shocked in the moment to say anything, but once I processed what had happened, I was — and still am — livid. How incompetent must one be to skip something so basic as reading employee files BEFORE terminating them, to ensure they’re actually being fired for a legitimate reason?)

[florida80]

Seriously Off Her Meds
BAD BEHAVIOR, BIZARRE, MASSACHUSETTS, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 14, 2018
(I’m a pharmacist at a small, but very busy, chain store. I am working the register along with one of the technicians, due to us being understaffed.)

Me: “Hi! How are you doing today, ma’am?”

Customer: “Israel!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Israel!”

(At the pharmacy register, in order to pick up a prescription, we must be provided with the first and last name, along with the date of birth.)

Me: “Is that your name, ma’am?”

Customer: “Israel!”

Me: *getting frustrated since there is a line behind her going up two aisles* “May I please have your name?”

Customer: “Israel! My name is Israel!”

Me: “Okay, thank you. May I please have your last name?”

Customer: “Israel!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I misunderstood. I thought your first name was Israel. Could I please have your first name, then?”

Customer: “Israel! My name is Israel! What do you not understand? This is ridiculous! I demand to speak to the pharmacist!”

Me: *trying not to scream* “I’m very sorry, ma’am. I am the pharmacist. I just need your first and last name in order to view your profile. Could you please give me your first name followed by your last?”

Customer: *she is now screaming at this point* “This is unbelievable!”

(She looks at the people in line behind her for support. They all give me a sympathetic look, instead.)

Customer: “From now on, I’m taking my business to [Other Retail Chain Pharmacy]!”

Me: “I’m very sorry for the inconvenience, ma’am. Could I please have your first and last name, in order to speed up the transaction? We are quite busy today.”

Customer: “Israel! My name is Israel! Israel [Last Name].”

(Now that I finally have her first and last name in the system, I am prompted with the screen that asks for the date of birth.)

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. And could I have your date of birth, please?”

Customer: “What kind of pharmacy is this?! What will you want next? My social security number?!”

Me: “That won’t be necessary, ma’am.”

(By this time, the technician at the register next to me has gone through about three patients, while I am still with this lady.)

Customer: “My birthday is [date]!”

Me: “All right, thank you. It looks like we have three prescriptions ready for you. Let me go get those for you.” *I fetch the prescriptions and finish the transaction fairly normally* “All right, ma’am. Before you leave, do you have any questions about the medications?”

Customer: “Yes. I would like to speak to the pharmacist!”

Me: “I am the pharmacist, ma’am.”

Customer: “No, you’re not!”

Me: “I can assure you that I am, in fact, the pharmacist, ma’am.”

Customer: *all disgruntled* “Well… Well… I want to speak to the pharmacist who was here yesterday! Where is he?!”

Me: “That was our other pharmacist.”

Customer: “Well, I demand to speak to him! Go fetch him!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. He isn’t here today.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I have nothing but trouble at this store!”

Me: “I’m sorry that you feel that way, ma’am. I can answer any questions that you have about the medication, though.”

Customer: “No! I’ll just die! No one can tell me how to take this medication! You don’t even have a pharmacist here! I’m going to die because of your incompetence!”

Me: “Ma’am, as I’ve said, I am the pharmacist, and I would be more than happy to walk you through the proper way to take your medications. If you would like, you can come back tomorrow, too, and the other pharmacist will be here.”

Customer: “Fine! Show me, since you think I’m too stupid to take my own medications!”

Me: “I never said you were too stupid, ma’am.”

Customer: “Yes, you did! But whatever. Show me!”

(I instructed the lady on how to take her medications, and she finally walked away. Shortly after, the store manager came down to the pharmacy asking what happened. I asked what he was referring to and he stated that a lady was complaining that I “verbally and mentally abused her.”)

[florida80]

Stop And Think For A Period
HOBART, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PHARMACY, TASMANIA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 5, 2018
(In Australia, purchasing certain medications requires the cashier, by law, to ascertain for whom the medication is intended and whether or not they’ve used the medication before. It’s about half an hour before closing time and it’s been a busy day, so I’m running on autopilot, when a man comes up to the counter.)

Male Customer: “Can I have some [period pain medication], please?”

Me: “Sure. That’s just for yourself, and you’ve used it before?”

[florida80]

Not Banking On That Pharmacy
JERK, MONEY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | JANUARY 31, 2018
(I work in a regional pharmacy and convenience store chain. One of the services we offer is check cashing, but with a hefty fee, since we are not a bank. The minimum fee is $3, and it shifts to 2% of the check for any amount over $150. The fee is automatically deducted from the check total, and we give the customer the difference. A woman comes in on a Sunday afternoon, demanding we cash her check. Instead of going to customer service, she heads to the pharmacy counter and tries to give them her check. The head pharmacist calls down to me that I will have a customer soon.)

Me: “Hello! You want a check cashed?”

(The customer, an elderly woman, pushes the check at me with a humph.)

Customer: “Yes, that one. My daughter is in town from DC, and I have to take her out to dinner.”

Me: *punching in the check total to get the fee amount* “All right, the fee for check cashing is 2% of the check, so for $259.50, it’s going to be a $5.19 fee.”

Customer: “You’re kidding! Well! This is the last time I do this; I’m pulling out all my prescriptions!”

Me: *thinking that’s a weird knee-jerk reaction* “Okay. Did you still want to cash this check?”

Customer: “Well, yes! I have to take my daughter out to dinner! She came up here from DC! This is ridiculous; I want to talk to a manager! You don’t do this to loyal customers. I’m going to pull out all my prescriptions, and I have a lot!”

(I page the manager while she fumes, repeatedly going back to her prescriptions and how she is going to take them all out first thing tomorrow morning. The manager walks in, and she starts berating him, too.)

Customer: “I have been a customer here for years. You don’t charge loyal customers $5 for cashing checks! I’m going to pull out my prescriptions!”

Manager: “That’s not our fee; the check cashing company sets that. It’s the fee they charge for using their services.”

(The customer humphs for a bit while the manager goes through the procedure, which is tedious and done on a separate machine. She goes silent for a moment before perking back up, turning to me while pointing at the manager.)

Customer: “No! Who’s above him? Who’s the highest manager?!”

Manager: “The store manager.”

Customer: “And who is that?”

Me: “[Store Manager].”

Customer: “Is he here?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Is he here tomorrow?!”

Manager: “Yes, [Store Manager] will be in tomorrow.”

Customer: “Good! I’m going to get my money back and pull out all my prescriptions!”

(We hand her the keypad to put in her social security number, and she acts like it’s the most complex device she’s ever used. It’s a nine-digit keypad with a green button and a red button. All you have to do is type the number, hit the green button, type the number again for confirmation, and hit the green button again. It takes a lot of prodding, interspersed with, “What do I do now?!” We also have to key in her driver’s license, the confirmation code from the receipt, the state, the day of the transaction, and so forth.)

Customer: “Why is this taking so long?!“

Me: “It’s a process. We have to go through extra steps and security, since we aren’t a bank.”

Customer: “Well, who do I talk to about pulling out my prescriptions?”

Me: “The pharmacy.”

(She goes strangely quiet after that, letting us complete the transaction with minor grumbling. I count out the amount of the check, minus the fee, making sure I am on camera as I do. I proceed to lay it flat on the counter to show her while I count it again, but she snatches it from me.)

Customer: “No! I’ll count it! I can’t wait to come in tomorrow and talk to your manager! I’m going to pull out all my prescriptions!”

(She finally takes her money and storms off. The head pharmacist pokes his head in.)

Pharmacist: “So, how’d that go?”

(I relay the whole story and he just laughs, shaking his head. He goes on to tell me how she’s been a chronic pain in the pharmacy’s neck for years.)

Pharmacist: “She always says that. If I had a dollar for every time she threatened to pull out her prescriptions, I’d be a lot closer to retirement.”

[florida80]

At Least It’s Still Just A Penny For Your Thoughts
MONEY, OVERHEARD, PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 24, 2018
(I am in line waiting to pick up a prescription. The customer at the register is taking longer than usual. The worker tells him to step to the side while they try to sort out the problem. I overhear this between the man who is picking up the prescription and his friend.)

Friend: “It’s only three dollars.”

Man: “I ain’t got that kind of money. Do you know anybody with that kind of money? These is crazy times we live in.”

[florida80]

Going For The Condom Minimum
BIZARRE, GROCERY STORE, MISSOURI, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 22, 2018
(A woman comes up to our night cashier.)

Customer: “I need assistance at the pharmacy case.”

(The cashier pages me to the pharmacy case, as I’m the only one with the key after the pharmacist leaves. I arrive at the case.)

Me: “What items do you need?”

Customer: *hesitates for a moment* “I need condoms.”

Me: *opens the case* “You’re welcome to pick out any of the boxes that you’d like.”

(She picks up a few different boxes, shakes each one, then sets it back down. Then, she turns to me and asks:)

Customer: “Do you know which one of these feels the best for guys?”

Me: *more confused than surprised by the question* “I’m sorry. I’m afraid I can’t help you there.”

Customer: “Do you know which one fits best, then?”

Me: “I can’t help you with that. I’ve never used any of those.”

Customer: *exasperated sigh* “Oh, well. Better safe than sorry.”

(She put the condoms down, grabbed a pregnancy test, and walked away without another word.)

[florida80]

Hey, Google, What Kind Of Cancer Do I Have?
CONNECTICUT, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 18, 2018
(I stop in a pharmacy to pick up some medication. I hear the following from a lady next to me.)

Woman: “I want to buy this!”

(She points at medicine on the shelf behind the pharmacist.)

Pharmacist: “That’s prescription medication. You can’t buy that. I’m sorry.”

Woman: “I NEED IT!”

Pharmacist: “Okay, well, we still can’t give you the medication. You need a prescription.”

Woman: “No! WEBMD SAID I HAVE CANCER AND I NEED THIS!”

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, I recommend you see your doctor before you get a self-diagnosis off of the Internet.”

Woman: “You’re a doctor! And I KNOW I HAVE CANCER!”

Pharmacist: “Actually, I’m not a—”

Woman: “YOU ALL WANT ME TO DIE OF CANCER! I AM REPORTING YOU TO THE POLICE!”

(She then proceeds to run out of the store, knocking down several displays and screaming “I NEED PENICILLIN! I HAVE CANCER!”)

Me: *mumbling* “How does she think penicillin will cure cancer, anyway?”

Pharmacist: “That’s not even penicillin.”

[florida80]

That’s What I (N)Said
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | JANUARY 14, 2018
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

Customer: *holding a box of OTC medication* “Excuse me. My wife is allergic to the Niacide family.”

Me: “Pardon? Do you mean NSAIDs?”

Customer: “No! NIACIDES!”

(I give him a puzzled look.)

Customer: “You know, ibuprofen and stuff!”

Me: “Right… NSAIDs.”

Customer: “Oh, whatever. Can she take this or not?”

(Then he showed me a box of acetaminophen.)

[florida80]

Benzo Combo No No
PHARMACY, USA, VIRGINIA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 11, 2018
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(I work in a popular chain pharmacy/convenience store as a pharmacy technician. It is a week before Christmas and patients are swarming in to get medications refilled before they depart for the holidays. I’m currently working at a prescription filling station that is directly across from where the pharmacist verifies them, allowing us to talk as we work. Another technician takes in a couple of prescriptions and preps them for data entry; however, when the pharmacist spots them, he immediately sees a problem.)

Pharmacist: “Whoa, I am not filling this.”

Other Technician: “Why, what’s up?”

Pharmacist: “This drug combo, carisoprodol, benzo, and an opiate…”

Me: “Bad combo?”

Pharmacist: “It’s outright lethal. I need to speak with the patient.”

(We try to page the patient back to the pharmacy via the store intercom, but it appears that they’ve already left. The pharmacist decides to contact the doctor who prescribed the drug trio to alert them to the potentially fatal consequences. He immediately identifies this doctor as being a sketchy one that he has dealt with in the past. Nonetheless, he steels himself for the call and gets him on the line.)

Pharmacist: “Hi, I’m calling because of a couple of prescriptions that you’ve prescribed for [Patient]. When taken together these drugs are a potentially lethal combo. I wanted to see if perhaps we could if we could get the carisoprodol switched to, say Flexeril.”

Doctor: “There’s been no issues in the past.”

Pharmacist: “Right… but you are aware that is THE Unholy Trinity of drugs, correct? If nothing has happened previously then great, but all it takes is a single time or misstep and the patient is going to die. I highly suggest a switch here.”

Doctor: “I don’t want to do that.”

Pharmacist: *blinks* “So, just so we’re on the same page, you want to knowingly prescribe this potentially deadly combo to the patient, rather than switching?”

Doctor: “I’ve already discussed it with the patient. It’s fine.”

Pharmacist: “Okay, well, I’m going to notify the patient of your decision and make them aware of what’s going on here. I need to cover my bases.”

Doctor: “All right, sure.”

(The pharmacist was shocked by the nonchalant nature of the doctor, but decided to follow his gut instinct and not fill all three scripts. While there are noted instances of patients taking these drugs together, they are few and far between, and the benefits do not outweigh the risks; finally, the sketchy nature of the doctor meant that the pharmacist was less than comfortable doing so. He notified the patient of the situation (who seemed more disappointed with the fact that we wouldn’t fill all three drugs than with the fact that the combo was lethal) and wrote a note on the prescription stating that it was denied as well as our contact number should the patient try to have it filled elsewhere.)

[florida80]

Who Prescribed Some Madness?
ENGLAND, PHARMACY, UK | HEALTHY | JANUARY 4, 2018
(We have a new member of staff at the pharmacy and we’ve got a number of regulars who come in to get their weekly medications, often quite a few items. This employee somehow gets it into her head that anyone with a weekly prescription is a drug abuser. One of our regulars is on a lot of different pain medications.)

Regular: “Good morning! I’m here to pick up my prescriptions. My name is [Regular].”

(The new staff member goes out to the back of the store and comes back out a few minutes later.)

New Staff: “No, there isn’t anything.”

Regular: “I pick this up every week, and I know I have at least three months’ worth of repeats for all these from the doctor.”

New Staff: “No. No, we have nothing.”

Regular: *spotting our pharmacist who knows her very well* “Hi, [Pharmacist]! Got my weekly meds?”

Pharmacist: “Oh, yeah. I did them yesterday—”

New Staff: “No! No, you didn’t. We have nothing!” *to Regular* “You need to leave; we have nothing for you!”

Pharmacist: “Don’t be daft. I’ll go fetch them.” *heads to the back and comes out with a large bag* “Can I just check your address and date of birth?”

Regular: *gives details*

Pharmacist: “Yup, here you go. See you next week!”

New Staff: “I told her we had nothing! Why did you make me look like a liar?!”

Pharmacist: “Because you were lying? [Regular] comes in every week and I always have her meds done.”

New Staff: “I saw what she’s on. She’s a f****** druggie. You shouldn’t enable these people.”

Regular: “I beg your pardon?”

Pharmacist: “Okay, we do not treat customers like that. Whatever personal views you have on certain medications, you leave those views at home.”

New Staff: “She’s a druggie. Why would anyone else need [strong pain medication]?”

Regular: “Because half my lower spine was smashed in an accident and I live in constant, agonising pain?”

New Staff: “Shut up, druggie.”

Pharmacist: “Right. That’s it. Go home.”

(She was fired that day, and officially cautioned by the police when for two weeks afterward she kept hanging around the pharmacy entrance waiting for our regular customer so she could yell at them some more. We know this because she told EVERY other customer entering our store. Luckily, our regular has a good sense of humour and just laughed off the whole episode.)

[florida80]

At A Hair-Loss For Words
FINLAND, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | JANUARY 3, 2018
(The men in my family tend to start suffering from hair loss in their mid-20s, and mine seems to have started, so I go to a nearby pharmacy to buy certain shampoo recommended by my stepfather. Note that I have grown my hair for a few years and it’s currently some 18 to 20 inches long.)

Employee: “Hello, can I help you with anything?”

Me: “Yes, I was looking for certain shampoo but don’t remember the name of the product.”

Employee: “What kind of shampoo? For dry hair, or–”

Me: “For hair loss.”

Employee: *goes silent and stares at my long hair, then grabs a bottle off a shelf* “Well, we have this one.”

Me: “That’s the product; thank you!”

(I only realized what had happened after I got back home.)

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #102197 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=102197)
AUSTRALIA, MELBOURNE, PHARMACY | UNFILTERED | DECEMBER 27, 2017
(The centre has lost power but we are still trading, doing everything manually)

Customer: “Can i have my repeat?”

Me: “I’m sorry but as i said, we have lost power and are able to print repeats but we will mail it out to you once the power comes back”

Customer: “But i want my repeat”

Me: “I’m sorry but we can’t print it”

(The customer rolls their eyes then proceedes to the checkout where we clearly state “Cash only” because of the power outage)

Customer: “I want to pay by card.”

Co worker: “I’m sorry but we have no power so we can’t use EFTPOS”

Customer: “But I want to pay by card”

Co worker: “I’m sorry, but the power is out so we can’t use the ETFPOS.”

Customer: “But I WANT to pay by card. Why did you cut the power on me. Put it back on”

Co worker: “We didn’t cut the power. The whole centre is out of power. We aren’t sure when the power will come back.”

Customer: “Well that’s your problem.”

(The customer storms off, without getting their items)

[florida80]

Obviously Not Stressing It Enough
OREGON, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 26, 2017
(My doctor has prescribed me a four-month supply of a new medicine, to see if it will help with my migraines. I get it filled for the first two months at my local pharmacy without a problem, but the third month I am told I have to call my insurance to sort out a problem. After fighting my way through the automated system and identifying myself:)

Me: “My pharmacy told me that I need to call you about one of my meds.”

Operator: “Yes, it looks like that has been flagged as a ‘maintenance medication’ in our system, so it can only be filled at a regular pharmacy twice. After that it needs to be filled as a three-month supply via mail order.”

(This is news to me, but then again, it is a new insurance plan, so I am not that familiar with it.)

Me: “Okay, but I only have two more months on this medication; my doctor just gave me a four-month script to see if it works for me.”

Operator: “Yes, you just need to get set up on our online system to get it in a three-month supply.”

Me: “That’s the problem: I don’t have three months left on it. Can I get a two-month supply?”

Operator: No, it has to be a three-month supply because it is a ‘maintenance medication.'”

Me: “But I only have two more months on this prescription; it’s a trial to see if it works.”

Operator: “That’s fine; just get set up on our online system and you can get a three-month supply from now on.”

Me: “No, I can’t. I probably won’t be on this that long, and my prescription is only for two more months. Are you saying I need to go to my doctor and get a new three-month prescription in order to fill my last two months?”

Operator: “No, you keep the same prescription; just order a three-month supply online. Do you need the website address?”

Me: “No, I think I need a new prescription, because mine is only for another two months.”

Operator: “No, it must be three months.”

Me: “So, I need to get a new prescription from my doctor for three-months’ worth, or stop taking it now?”

Operator: “No, just enter your prescription online and select ‘three-month supply.'”

Me: “But I don’t have three months left on this medication.”

Operator: *sighs loudly* “I can give you a one-time exception to pick up this month from your pharmacy, but after that you really need to start getting it in a three-month supply via mail order.”

(I decided three months would have to be enough of a trial on that medication; it wasn’t working anyway, and that phone call to get more definitely triggered a stress migraine.)

[florida80]

The Tale Is In The Yelling
ALABAMA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 25, 2017
(I’m at a local pharmacy. Twenty minutes ago I dropped off a prescription and now I am picking it up.)

Pharmacist: “Yes, sir?”

Me: “Prescription for [My Name]?”

Pharmacist: “It’s not ready yet, but it should be in just a few minutes.”

Me: “Sure, that’s fine.”

(I go and sit down in the waiting area. The pharmacist walks over to another employee and whispers something to her, which I happen to overhear:)

Pharmacist: “Can you believe it? He actually didn’t yell at me!”

[florida80]

A Prescription By Any Other Name
PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 21, 2017
(I go to my local pharmacy to drop off a prescription. As most pharmacies are, it is very busy with a full waiting area and they tell me there will be a wait for my medication. I browse the store for a while until I hear my name called over the intercom, and then get back in line to pick up the prescription. An elderly man who is also waiting for a prescription gets up from his chair and approaches me.)

Patient: “Are you Veronica? They just called a Veronica; are you her?”

(They definitely did not just call anyone named Veronica, and my name sounds nothing like Veronica, although they both do end in the letter ‘A.’)

Me: “Uh, no, sir, I’m not Veronica but my prescription is ready.”

Patient: “Well, if you’re not Veronica then your prescription is not ready so get out of line and wait like the rest of us!”

Me: “Sir, they called my name and I am going to pick up my prescription. Even if they didn’t I’m not cutting anyone in line or making anyone else wait longer, so please don’t shout at me.”

(At this point he started telling the whole waiting room that I was not Veronica and I was trying to steal Veronica’s prescription, but he was actually speaking very calmly so no one really paid him any mind. They called me up to the desk and I got my medication, and let them know the man seemed slightly agitated and might need some help. As I was leaving I heard him arguing with the pharmacy technician, saying “But she’s NOT VERONICA!”)

[florida80]

Honesty Is Always The Best Medicine
ENGLAND, PHARMACY, UK | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 14, 2017
(I am waiting patiently for a prescription to be filled in a quiet pharmacy.)

Pharmacist: “Found it; here you go!”

Me: *takes bagged item* “Thanks.”

Pharmacist: “No problem, bye!”

Me: “Uhh… I still need to pay for this.”

Pharmacist: “Oh! I’m so sorry. Thank you for your honesty.” *rings up the transaction*

Me: “Well, not that I would anyway, but it would be kind of stupid for me to run off, seeing as you know exactly who I am and where I live.” *gestures to my address printed on the bag*

Pharmacist: “You wouldn’t believe what some people try.”

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #101515 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=101515)
NORTH CAROLINA, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | DECEMBER 8, 2017
(I work at a pharmacy. It’s just me and two other people today, so I am in charge of customer initial contact.)

Me: *standing at the computer, hears heavy breathing come my way from the other side of the store*

Customer: *leans in the counter exhausted and breathing heavy* “Hey, hold on let me rest right quick.” *breathing heavy and sweating and smells like wet dog*

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “Can I get my pain pills filled?”

Me: “Yeah, I can get it filled.”

(My manager immediately comes over.)

Manager: “Ma’am, you’re not allowed in this store. I watched you stealing just last week.”

Customer: *appalled* “It wasn’t me, it was my daughter. She looks exactly like me with her hair tied up.”

Manager: “Ma’am, I watched YOU steal it. Your daughter came to you to ask to take it and you put it in your purse.”

Customer: “I’m going to kick her a**! The same thing happened to me at the other store; it is always happening to me.”

(She walks out cursing while all three of us are watching her leave to make sure she doesn’t go off.)

Me: “If you keep getting caught, stop stealing. Easy fix.”

Manager: “She is an a** anyway.”

[florida80]

Acting Narcotic Robotic
NORTH CAROLINA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 5, 2017
(I have an invisible chronic illness, Chronic Pancreatitis, that was caused by complications from gallbladder surgery a few years back. I am on tons of medication on a daily basis just so I can function normally and work a demanding full-time job. One of these medications is a narcotic; because of the multitudes who abuse it, a lot of judgement is passed on those who legitimately need it.)

Me: “Hi there! Just need to get this filled.”

(I hand my prescription over to a pharmacist that I don’t recognize. These prescriptions are very specific for when you can fill them, and are dated accordingly. Everything on mine is legit, as I literally just left the doctor’s office.)

Pharmacist: *takes a long time to look at it, and keeps looking back up at me* “Are you sure it’s time to fill this again?”

Me: “Um… Well, yeah. I just picked that up from my doctor, and the fill date is listed. You can also check your system, because this is the only pharmacy I use.”

(The pharmacist gives me a weird look and says it’ll be ten minutes, so I go sit down to wait. A few minutes later I hear her on the phone, and I don’t really pay any attention until I hear her say my name. Turns out she is calling my doctor’s office to verify it, the whole time shooting nasty sideways looks at me. Okay, totally fine; I know they have to be careful and check these things, so I brush it off. A couple minutes later when I walk up to the counter to pick it up:)

Pharmacist: “You know, this stuff is really bad for you. You shouldn’t be taking this.”

Me: *stunned* “Well, it helps me stay upright so I can work. Haha.”

Pharmacist: “My sister was on this and it was horrible. I would have to tell her all the time about how bad it was and that she had to get off of it, and she was addicted. It was really bad and she had such a hard time. You shouldn’t be taking this!”

Me: “Well, I’m going to let my doctor decide that. Can I check out now, please?”

(I understand how many people get hooked on narcotics, and the rising epidemic in this country, but they do have benefits that people like myself need. I don’t even think this lady was worried about the bigger social issue; I think she just got it into her head that it was a horrible medication from her bad experience with her sister. I’m sorry, lady; you are a pharmacist who should know better, and until you gain your medical doctorate and start practicing gastroenterology, keep your opinions about my treatment to yourself!)

[florida80]

Cancer Is A Crime
CALIFORNIA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 28, 2017
(I’ve been diagnosed with cancer and am on numerous medications, including morphine and oxycodone for the pain I am in. I’m pretty skinny and pale and not looking healthy after six months of chemotherapy. I go to my normal pharmacy with my paper prescription to get filled and a new pharmacy tech, or at least one I’ve never seen in the six months I’ve frequented this place, greets me. I hand him my paperwork, and he starts to type in into his computer, and then looks at me and says:)

Pharmacy Tech: “I see you’ve been getting these pills for a few months now, and you’re refilling them on the same date every month. You can’t fill this if you’re just going to sell them on the street for your drug money.”

(My jaw drops, and he hands my prescription back to me.)

Pharmacy Tech: “I’m calling the police now, sir, so don’t run off.”

(He then goes to the phone and starts dialing. The pharmacist sees me through their little window and waves at me, I see her a lot when I’m there and she’s helped consult me on the timing of taking my meds so I don’t make myself sick. I wave her over.)

Pharmacist: “Hi!”

Me: “You may want to talk to your new guy. He’s calling the cops on me.”

(She turns around and sees him on the phone.)

Pharmacist: “What are you doing?”

Pharmacy Tech: *covers the receiver* “This junkie is trying to get pills to sell. I’m calling the cops.”

(She rips the phone out of his hand and yells at him.)

Pharmacist: “He has cancer, you idiot!”

(He went pale. She sent him away and hung up the phone. I got my refills, and I never saw that guy again.)

[florida80]

Digger-ing Yourself Into A Hole
PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 28, 2017
(I am at the pharmacy to pick up a prescription that was called in.)

Tech: “Can I help you?”

Me: “I need to pick up for [Last Name].”

Tech: *types into computer* “First name?”

Me: “Digger.”

Tech: “Digger?”

Me: “Yes.”

(The tech give me a funny look and goes into the back. He returns with the medicine in hand.)

Tech: “So, you can’t drive while taking this. Also, you cannot drink alcohol while taking this. I will need you to sign saying you understand those restrictions.”

Me: *laughing* “No problem.”

Tech: “I need a date of birth.”

Me: “October 2015. I don’t know the day.”

Tech: “You don’t know your child’s birthdate?”

Me: “It’s not my child.”

Tech: “I’m not going to be able to fill this.”

Me: “I need the pharmacist. Now.”

(The pharmacist comes out and asks what the problem is.)

Tech: “She’s picking up this medicine but she doesn’t know the birthdate and then she says it isn’t her child.”

Pharmacist: *takes bag and reads label* “Look at this name.”

(The tech looks and still doesn’t seem to understand.)

Pharmacist: “The patient is named Digger K9 [Last Name]. That means it’s for her dog. Lots of people don’t know their dog’s birthday.”

Tech: “How was I supposed to know?”

Pharmacist: “I’ll finish this. Go wait in the office for me.”

(When I went to get his refill, the same tech handled the transaction. He commented that it was a really big dose for a toddler. Pretty sure whatever the pharmacist said — it didn’t help.)

[florida80]

Graduated Up To A Personalized Service
PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 23, 2017
(I am picking up my medicine and in order to do so, you must give your name and birth date, including year.)

Clerk: “Name?”

Me: “[My Name].”

Clerk: “Birthday?”

Me: “[Date].”

Clerk: “That’s the same day I graduated. To the day.”

Me: “And year. Next time you ask, I’m just going to say, ‘the exact day you graduated.’”

[florida80]

The Sad Estate Of This Family
PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 22, 2017
(I work at a long-term care pharmacy. We service patients in nursing homes, assisted living, etc. and bill prescription costs monthly. Of course, this means we have trouble with people not paying their bill. Part of my job is to make collections calls. I hear all kinds of excuses, but this was a first.)

Man: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] calling from [Pharmacy]. Is [Person #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] available?”

Man: “Nope, he’s in jail over in [County].”

Me: *not sure how to respond* “I’m sorry to hear that… I also have [Person #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] listed as an authorized contact. May I speak with her?”

Man: “Nope, can’t talk to her either. She’s dead.”

Me: *now REALLY not sure how to respond* “I’m sorry to hear that, too. I’m calling in reference to [Patient]’s account. Who could I speak with that handles [Patient]’s finances?”

Man: “Not him. He’s dead now, too. His wife’s still living but she’s got ‘all-timers’ disease so she won’t be much help.”

Me: *basically at a loss for words at this point* “There must be someone handling [Patient]’s estate. Who would that be?”

Man: “Couldn’t tell you. The only one I know of that’s not dead, locked up, or crazy is [Person #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) ]. She’s probably the best you’re going to get.”

(Turned out [Person #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) ] was extremely nice and helpful, and promptly sent a check for the full balance. She must have been the shining star in a family of “dead, locked up, and crazy!”)

[florida80]

Spoon-Feeding You Some Advice
HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | MAY 9, 2018
(Sadly, I’m the stupid customer in this one. I have bronchitis and have just made it home from the pharmacy with my cough syrup. When I open the bag, I notice the cup that you use to take the medicine isn’t in there, so I call the pharmacy.)

Pharmacist: “Thank you for calling [Pharmacy]. This is [Pharmacist]. How can I help you?”

Me: “Hi. This is [My Name]. I just picked up my prescription for [cough syrup], and when I got home I saw that it didn’t have the cup thing you use to take it with.”

Pharmacist: “I’m sorry, [My Name]. Do you want to come back and pick one up?”

Me: “Well, I have to take the bus, and I don’t want to get everyone else sick, too.”

Pharmacist: “Okay, well, do you bake?”

Me: *slightly confused* “Yes?”

Pharmacist: “Then you can use the teaspoon measuring spoon from your baking set.”

Me: “But… but… I need medicine teaspoons, not baking teaspoons.”

(She then proceeded to calmly explain to me that teaspoons were teaspoons, no matter what they were used for.)

[florida80]

Prescribing Some Honesty
CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, OHIO, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MAY 4, 2018
(I work in the pharmacy of a large drug store chain. A few weeks prior to this incident, a man came in and was acting twitchy. He eventually shoved some greeting cards down his pants and put a beer in his pocket before leaving. Shoplifting is hard to prove, but we got it on camera. On a day I am working, he comes back in with some prescriptions. I start putting them in; I have no idea about the previous incident.)

Lead Tech: “Stop! Don’t fill his stuff. [Manager] said since we got him stealing on camera, we can ask him to leave.”

(He goes to alert the pharmacist of the situation.)

Pharmacist: “[Shoplifter]! I am sorry, but I can’t fill this prescription for you.”

Shoplifter: “Why not? I need my medicine.”

Pharmacist: “Sir, last time you were in, we caught you stealing on camera, and we are choosing not to serve you. Please take your prescriptions elsewhere.” *hands him back his papers*

Shoplifter: *takes them* “It was only a beer!”

(He did end up taking his prescriptions and leaving, and the pharmacist filled me in on the previous incident. We were all so shocked that he admitted to stealing, and then also tried to act like it was okay!)

[florida80]

Name Change Approved
AUSTRALIA, HOBART, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, TASMANIA, WORDPLAY | HEALTHY | MAY 4, 2018
(A customer is picking up a regular prescription medication but he also wants something else.)

Customer: “Can I also have some ‘Stuffy Nose Squirts’?”

(He wanted a decongestant nasal spray.)

[florida80]

Looks Like They Already Had Their Drugs
NEW YORK, PHARMACY, RUDE & RISQUE, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 19, 2018
(I have just started my first job at a local pharmacy and convenience store, and it is my third day of training. I am standing behind the counter with an older coworker of mine. We hear the door open, and look over.)

Customer: *quickly walks through the doors and to the other end of the floor, where the pharmacy is*

Me: *looking at my coworker* “Was she…”

Coworker: *taking a sip of an energy drink* “…not wearing any pants? Welcome to the job, kid.”

Me: “…”

[florida80]

At Least You Know The Medicine Is Kosher
NEW YORK, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | APRIL 16, 2018
(I am the dumb customer in this instance. The store that I work at has a pharmacy in it, where I get all of my medications. The store has a policy in the pharmacy where the first three letters of the customers names are printed on the bags you pick up your prescriptions in. The first time I go to pick up a prescription there, I have never seen this before. Upon picking up my prescription, I see the first three letters of my last name.)

Prescription: “JEW.”

Me: *in genuine confusion* “No, I’m not?”

[florida80]

When You Work For Them You’re Branded
BOSSES & OWNERS, INDIANA, NEW HIRES, PHARMACY, USA | WORKING | APRIL 9, 2018
(I get hired for [Popular Pharmacy Chain] and go through their training. It’s all through their computer system, with videos and quizzes. There’s a thirty-minute session on “branded greetings,” which explains how I have to say the same things during every transaction so customers always have a uniform experience at every store in the chain. I feel like a robot doing this, but I’m good at the spiel after about a week. Then, my manager pulls me aside.)

Manager: “Why are you using branded greetings?”

Me: *thinking this is a test* “Um… so that every customer gets the same treatment at every store and we deliver a uniform experience.”

Manager: “We haven’t used those in years. People said we sounded like robots, and corporate made us stop.”

Me: “Well, it’s still in the training.”

Manager: “Oh, well, you don’t have to do that anymore. I apparently have to update the training software.” *runs off*

Me: *facepalm*

[florida80]

Not Passing With Flying Colors
DUBLIN, EMPLOYEES, IRELAND, JERK, PHARMACY | WORKING | APRIL 3, 2018
(I am in a well-known UK-based pharmacy and drugstore, looking for a hand cream. I am wearing ripped jeans, combat boots, and a leather jacket, and have very short hair. I smile at the staff as I walk in and set off in search of the right aisle, minding my own business. As I open a tube to smell the cream, the worker beside the door rushes up and snatches the bottle out of my hand.)

Worker: “Can you not open the products? What are you looking for?”

Me: “Oh, sorry, I was just smelling it. I’m fine, thanks.”

(I think that’s the end of it, as she stalks off. I pick up my items and turn the corner, checking out the makeup. As I swatch a lipstick tester, the same worker storms up and glares at me.)

Worker: “I said don’t open the products! You’ll have to pay for it now!”

Me: “Excuse me? This is a tester, and I haven’t even touched it yet!”

Worker: “Fine. Sit down. I’ll match a colour to you. You clearly need it; whoever matched your current foundation must be colour-blind.”

Me: *taken aback by the sheer rudeness of this woman* “Er. No, thanks.”

(I walked away, irritated, but still with some time to kill before my bus home, so I browsed some other items. I could see the worker following me closely and glaring if I so much as reached out towards a product. Eventually, I had enough. I went to the till, with her following. The girl at the checkout scanned my items and my loyalty card and told me my total. As I handed her my money, the rude worker stormed over and grabbed the iodine pen, scribbling all over my note, a smug grin on her face. I waited as nothing happened to my money, and silently fumed as I was handed my receipt. I felt her glare boring into my back as I left the shop, seriously having to bite down on my tongue to stop myself from yelling at her. I get that workers are supposed to upsell and offer assistance, but judging me outright by my appearance, being incredibly rude about my makeup, and being convinced I’m a thief with no reason is taking it a bit far.)

[florida80]

Would You Like A Cosmo With Your Allergy Bran?
HOLIDAYS, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, LOUISIANA, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | APRIL 1, 2018
(It’s Easter Sunday. My parents, my grandmother, and I are coming back from an early dinner out at an uptown restaurant and we stop to pick up some prescriptions for my grandmother at an old pharmacy where the restroom is in the back room. This exchange occurs just as I exit the back room after using the restroom.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I’m looking for [Specific Allergy Brand], but I can’t find it, and this is the allergy aisle. Would it be anywhere else?”

Me: “I have no idea, sorry. Um, good luck.”

(The customer muttered something under her breath that I couldn’t hear as I was walking away. During this exchange I was wearing a cocktail dress and heels, and she looked right at me as she was asking her question.)

[florida80]

It’s A Man’s World Of Pain
AUSTRALIA, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, MELBOURNE, NON-DIALOGUE, PHARMACY, VICTORIA | HEALTHY | MARCH 12, 2018
I have an eight-and-a-bit-month-old child, and I’ve been having some pain during sex, so I book in to see my OB-GYN.

The appointment is really straightforward and I’m told to go get a cream. I also have a birth control rod inserted whilst I’m there. I wander over to the pharmacy and hand over my script. I’m not asked for my Medicare card, but I’m asked if I have concession.

I reply no, with no more thought into the answer. I wait and collect my script and note that I’ve been charged a concession price. Not thinking too much into it, and thinking that I must have one linked to my Medicare card, I pay the $12.80 instead of $50 to $80 for my items and head back across the road.

I get the rod implanted and continue about my day, a bit perplexed how I got charged concession. It’s not until later that night when I’m reading the script again that I realise they’ve put it under the wrong name. I’m a Mrs. [My Name], and they put it under a Mr. [Same Name].

I burst out laughing that they have given a man vaginal cream and contraception, at an OB-GYN.

[florida80]

A Picture Of Bad Parenting
BAD BEHAVIOR, BIZARRE, KENTUCKY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MARCH 8, 2018
(I go into the store to pick up some photo prints I ordered online. Unfortunately, before I can get to the counter another customer beats me to the unmanned counter. As she approaches she immediately begins yelling.)

Customer: “CAN SOMEONE COME OVER HERE AND HELP ME?!”

(An employee approaches the counter.)

Customer: “I ordered these prints online; I need them.”

Employee: “Okay, what name are they under?”

Customer: “I don’t know; I don’t know if they made it.”

Employee: “You don’t know?”

Customer: “I used this app and it won’t send. You need to just do it.”

Employee: “I’m sorry. We aren’t allowed to—”

Customer: *sighs dramatically* “Well, what am I supposed to do?”

Employee: “You need to click on—”

Customer: “I already did that.”

Employee: “Well, try it again.”

Customer: “There, see? Now what?!”

Employee: “So, now, you need to—”

Customer: “This is stupid! I’m just going to go back to the main menu. So, what do I do from here?”

(The employee attempts several times to guide the customer through the process, and she continues to cut her off and ignore her suggestions. The customer appears to be in a huge hurry, and is obviously aggravated. Finally, after a few minutes.)

Customer: *about the app* “This is a joke. This is a total joke. Fine. Whatever. We’ll do this on Facebook.” *she takes a few minutes to find the picture she wants, all the while muttering* “I left those kids at the park. I left those d*** kids at the park… There, this picture. Can I just crop everyone out except this one person?”

Employee: “Well, what that will do is it will still be the same size and—”

Customer: “Is there any other way we can do this?!”

Employee: “You can hook your phone up to the photo kiosk, but it will download all of your photos.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I can’t get this Internet to work. My man is going to kill me; I left those d*** kids at the park.”

Employee: “We don’t get a good connection in the store.”

Customer: “I HAVE WI-FI.”

Employee: “We don’t have Wi-Fi here.”

Customer: “YOU MEAN I’M GOING TO HAVE TO GO OUT TO MY CAR TO GET ON THE INTERNET?!”

Employee: “You probably would have better luck in the back of the parking lot, yes.”

Customer: *stomps out while muttering* “I left those kids at the park.”

(I still can’t understand what could possibly be so important about this picture that she had to leave her children at the park to go get it!)

[florida80]

Vie For A Vial
CALIFORNIA, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, JERK, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MARCH 6, 2018
(I just started working at a small, independent pharmacy. It’s located in the downtown area of a small town that is predominantly upper-middle-class families. And with that population, we get patients in that ask for a bit more specific requests than what I’m used to. I have just started and am being trained when I overhear this conversation with my technician. Note: since we are small pharmacy, profit margins are tight, so for expensive medications, we don’t open the bottles and fill them until the patient has come to pick up and paid. We pride ourselves on customer service, doing almost anything for the customer.)

Customer: “I’m here to pick up for [Customer].”

Tech: “All right, just give me a few moments to pour these bottles into the vial.”

(She is getting over 400 tablets of the medication.)

Customer: “Let me see what you’re putting it in.”

Tech: *shows the vial* “Will this one be good for you?”

Customer: “No! That one is too tall; I’m going to spill it.

Tech: *shows different vial* “What about this one?”

Customer: “No! It’s too short; I’m going to lose it.”

Tech: *shows another vial* “This one? I can fit it in two of them.”

Customer: “I don’t want to; that’s too much!”

(This repeats for a couple minutes, going over various vials, usually the same one, multiple times, the customer making up some random excuse.)

Tech: *showing her the first vial* “What about this one?”

Customer: “Yes! That one is perfect!”

(The tech finishes up putting her medications together and the patient leaves.)

Me: “How did you handle that without freaking out?”

Tech: “I was about to punch her in her face if she said no to another one of these stupid bottles.”

[florida80]

Needs To Prescribe Some Anger-Management
GERMANY, JERK, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | MARCH 3, 2018
(I work at a call centre for a German online pharmacy. Unlike other pharmacies, we allow customers to pre-order medicines which requires prescriptions. It should go without saying, but we’re not allowed to ship orders that contain a prescription, until the original is sent to us by a postal service. There are also no shipping costs for our customer, if there is a prescription.)

Me: “Your [Pharmacy]. You are speaking with [My Name].”

Customer: “I placed an order last week at your store and it still hasn’t arrived. Where is it?”

Me: “Oh, that doesn’t sound so good. Could you please tell me your order number?”

(The customer doesn’t have it, so I search for her by name. It takes me a while to find her, as she has a very common name and doesn’t want to give me her postal code.)

Me: “Ah, there we have you. I’m afraid your prescription for [Medicine] hasn’t arrived yet.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! I do not need a prescription for that order! Send them to me at once!”

(I try to stay cool.)

Me: “Ma’am, [Medicine] requires a prescription, by law. We cannot deliver this order until we have the original prescription.”

Customer: “Then you should at least have told me so!”

Me: “Our online store has classified this item as one that requires a prescription. You have also received an order confirmation that asks you for your prescription.”

Customer: “No, I never received a confirmation, so don’t dare lie to me!”

Me: “Uh… Ma’am, I do not understand; you received the confirmation on [date and time].”

Customer: “No, I never did; I’ll show you!”

(I can hear her typing and the sound of a mail program opening. She waits for a moment, and then she starts mumbling to herself.)

Customer: “’Dear Mrs. [Name], thank you for your order. Please send us your your original prescription by mail, so we can continue with that order.’”

(The customer wheezes angrily.)

Customer: “This is way too complicated with your store! Other pharmacies will send them to me immediately!”

Me: “Ma’am, even other pharmacies have to wait for your prescription, as [Medicine] requires one.”

Customer: “I will never order at your store ever again! I’ve never been insulted this badly in my entire life!”

(The customer called the next day. She made a new order without the prescription and asked if that was all right.)

[florida80]

Sarah Connor’s Pharmacy Job
BOSSES & OWNERS, CANADA, EMPLOYEES, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, JERK, ONTARIO, PHARMACY | WORKING | FEBRUARY 21, 2018
(I get a job at a small pharmacy as a cashier. The job involves a lot more than just simple cashiering, but I catch on quite quickly, and within a month the possibility of increasing my hours is discussed. The store then goes under new owners, but all the cashiers are kept on staff, and assured that their jobs are secure. Fast forward to my next shift. This takes place in July.)

Owner: “[My Name], can you come into the office for a minute? I just want to have a quick word.”

Me: “Sure!” *thinking the uniforms he ordered for us had come in*

Owner: “I’ve been thinking it over, and this really isn’t a job that can be done part-time. In order to stay up to date on all the policies and information, everyone really has to be here full-time. With all the students leaving soon to go back to school, I’ve decided that it would be easiest to let all the students go now.”

Me: “Okay…” *thinking I’m about to be offered the full-time position, as I’m not a student*

Owner: “I’m sorry; I just find it easiest to terminate people before their shift starts.”

Me: “Wait. What?”

Owner: “As of right now, you’re terminated.”

Me: “But I’m not a student.”

Owner: *shocked* “What?! You’re not?”

Me: “No. I’ve been out of high school for a few years, and am holding off on going to college.”

Owner: “Oh, nobody told me that.”

Me: “So, is there any way I could be kept on, full-time?”

Owner: “I would have to think about it.”

Me: *blank look*

Owner: “You see, I already filled the full-time positions, and filed the termination paperwork. If you want to reapply, I’ll consider rehiring you if something falls through with one of the new employees, but all but one have already accepted the job, and I already offered it to the other one.”

Me: “Okay, then. When does the termination take effect?”

Owner: “Right now. I did it now because it’s easiest to do it, and get it done within the first three months.”

(I was too shocked in the moment to say anything, but once I processed what had happened, I was — and still am — livid. How incompetent must one be to skip something so basic as reading employee files BEFORE terminating them, to ensure they’re actually being fired for a legitimate reason?)

[florida80]

Seriously Off Her Meds
BAD BEHAVIOR, BIZARRE, MASSACHUSETTS, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 14, 2018
(I’m a pharmacist at a small, but very busy, chain store. I am working the register along with one of the technicians, due to us being understaffed.)

Me: “Hi! How are you doing today, ma’am?”

Customer: “Israel!”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Israel!”

(At the pharmacy register, in order to pick up a prescription, we must be provided with the first and last name, along with the date of birth.)

Me: “Is that your name, ma’am?”

Customer: “Israel!”

Me: *getting frustrated since there is a line behind her going up two aisles* “May I please have your name?”

Customer: “Israel! My name is Israel!”

Me: “Okay, thank you. May I please have your last name?”

Customer: “Israel!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I misunderstood. I thought your first name was Israel. Could I please have your first name, then?”

Customer: “Israel! My name is Israel! What do you not understand? This is ridiculous! I demand to speak to the pharmacist!”

Me: *trying not to scream* “I’m very sorry, ma’am. I am the pharmacist. I just need your first and last name in order to view your profile. Could you please give me your first name followed by your last?”

Customer: *she is now screaming at this point* “This is unbelievable!”

(She looks at the people in line behind her for support. They all give me a sympathetic look, instead.)

Customer: “From now on, I’m taking my business to [Other Retail Chain Pharmacy]!”

Me: “I’m very sorry for the inconvenience, ma’am. Could I please have your first and last name, in order to speed up the transaction? We are quite busy today.”

Customer: “Israel! My name is Israel! Israel [Last Name].”

(Now that I finally have her first and last name in the system, I am prompted with the screen that asks for the date of birth.)

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. And could I have your date of birth, please?”

Customer: “What kind of pharmacy is this?! What will you want next? My social security number?!”

Me: “That won’t be necessary, ma’am.”

(By this time, the technician at the register next to me has gone through about three patients, while I am still with this lady.)

Customer: “My birthday is [date]!”

Me: “All right, thank you. It looks like we have three prescriptions ready for you. Let me go get those for you.” *I fetch the prescriptions and finish the transaction fairly normally* “All right, ma’am. Before you leave, do you have any questions about the medications?”

Customer: “Yes. I would like to speak to the pharmacist!”

Me: “I am the pharmacist, ma’am.”

Customer: “No, you’re not!”

Me: “I can assure you that I am, in fact, the pharmacist, ma’am.”

Customer: *all disgruntled* “Well… Well… I want to speak to the pharmacist who was here yesterday! Where is he?!”

Me: “That was our other pharmacist.”

Customer: “Well, I demand to speak to him! Go fetch him!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. He isn’t here today.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I have nothing but trouble at this store!”

Me: “I’m sorry that you feel that way, ma’am. I can answer any questions that you have about the medication, though.”

Customer: “No! I’ll just die! No one can tell me how to take this medication! You don’t even have a pharmacist here! I’m going to die because of your incompetence!”

Me: “Ma’am, as I’ve said, I am the pharmacist, and I would be more than happy to walk you through the proper way to take your medications. If you would like, you can come back tomorrow, too, and the other pharmacist will be here.”

Customer: “Fine! Show me, since you think I’m too stupid to take my own medications!”

Me: “I never said you were too stupid, ma’am.”

Customer: “Yes, you did! But whatever. Show me!”

(I instructed the lady on how to take her medications, and she finally walked away. Shortly after, the store manager came down to the pharmacy asking what happened. I asked what he was referring to and he stated that a lady was complaining that I “verbally and mentally abused her.”)

[florida80]

Stop And Think For A Period
HOBART, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PHARMACY, TASMANIA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 5, 2018
(In Australia, purchasing certain medications requires the cashier, by law, to ascertain for whom the medication is intended and whether or not they’ve used the medication before. It’s about half an hour before closing time and it’s been a busy day, so I’m running on autopilot, when a man comes up to the counter.)

Male Customer: “Can I have some [period pain medication], please?”

Me: “Sure. That’s just for yourself, and you’ve used it before?”

[florida80]

Not Banking On That Pharmacy
JERK, MONEY, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | JANUARY 31, 2018
(I work in a regional pharmacy and convenience store chain. One of the services we offer is check cashing, but with a hefty fee, since we are not a bank. The minimum fee is $3, and it shifts to 2% of the check for any amount over $150. The fee is automatically deducted from the check total, and we give the customer the difference. A woman comes in on a Sunday afternoon, demanding we cash her check. Instead of going to customer service, she heads to the pharmacy counter and tries to give them her check. The head pharmacist calls down to me that I will have a customer soon.)

Me: “Hello! You want a check cashed?”

(The customer, an elderly woman, pushes the check at me with a humph.)

Customer: “Yes, that one. My daughter is in town from DC, and I have to take her out to dinner.”

Me: *punching in the check total to get the fee amount* “All right, the fee for check cashing is 2% of the check, so for $259.50, it’s going to be a $5.19 fee.”

Customer: “You’re kidding! Well! This is the last time I do this; I’m pulling out all my prescriptions!”

Me: *thinking that’s a weird knee-jerk reaction* “Okay. Did you still want to cash this check?”

Customer: “Well, yes! I have to take my daughter out to dinner! She came up here from DC! This is ridiculous; I want to talk to a manager! You don’t do this to loyal customers. I’m going to pull out all my prescriptions, and I have a lot!”

(I page the manager while she fumes, repeatedly going back to her prescriptions and how she is going to take them all out first thing tomorrow morning. The manager walks in, and she starts berating him, too.)

Customer: “I have been a customer here for years. You don’t charge loyal customers $5 for cashing checks! I’m going to pull out my prescriptions!”

Manager: “That’s not our fee; the check cashing company sets that. It’s the fee they charge for using their services.”

(The customer humphs for a bit while the manager goes through the procedure, which is tedious and done on a separate machine. She goes silent for a moment before perking back up, turning to me while pointing at the manager.)

Customer: “No! Who’s above him? Who’s the highest manager?!”

Manager: “The store manager.”

Customer: “And who is that?”

Me: “[Store Manager].”

Customer: “Is he here?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Is he here tomorrow?!”

Manager: “Yes, [Store Manager] will be in tomorrow.”

Customer: “Good! I’m going to get my money back and pull out all my prescriptions!”

(We hand her the keypad to put in her social security number, and she acts like it’s the most complex device she’s ever used. It’s a nine-digit keypad with a green button and a red button. All you have to do is type the number, hit the green button, type the number again for confirmation, and hit the green button again. It takes a lot of prodding, interspersed with, “What do I do now?!” We also have to key in her driver’s license, the confirmation code from the receipt, the state, the day of the transaction, and so forth.)

Customer: “Why is this taking so long?!“

Me: “It’s a process. We have to go through extra steps and security, since we aren’t a bank.”

Customer: “Well, who do I talk to about pulling out my prescriptions?”

Me: “The pharmacy.”

(She goes strangely quiet after that, letting us complete the transaction with minor grumbling. I count out the amount of the check, minus the fee, making sure I am on camera as I do. I proceed to lay it flat on the counter to show her while I count it again, but she snatches it from me.)

Customer: “No! I’ll count it! I can’t wait to come in tomorrow and talk to your manager! I’m going to pull out all my prescriptions!”

(She finally takes her money and storms off. The head pharmacist pokes his head in.)

Pharmacist: “So, how’d that go?”

(I relay the whole story and he just laughs, shaking his head. He goes on to tell me how she’s been a chronic pain in the pharmacy’s neck for years.)

Pharmacist: “She always says that. If I had a dollar for every time she threatened to pull out her prescriptions, I’d be a lot closer to retirement.”

[florida80]

At Least It’s Still Just A Penny For Your Thoughts
MONEY, OVERHEARD, PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 24, 2018
(I am in line waiting to pick up a prescription. The customer at the register is taking longer than usual. The worker tells him to step to the side while they try to sort out the problem. I overhear this between the man who is picking up the prescription and his friend.)

Friend: “It’s only three dollars.”

Man: “I ain’t got that kind of money. Do you know anybody with that kind of money? These is crazy times we live in.”

[florida80]

Going For The Condom Minimum
BIZARRE, GROCERY STORE, MISSOURI, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 22, 2018
(A woman comes up to our night cashier.)

Customer: “I need assistance at the pharmacy case.”

(The cashier pages me to the pharmacy case, as I’m the only one with the key after the pharmacist leaves. I arrive at the case.)

Me: “What items do you need?”

Customer: *hesitates for a moment* “I need condoms.”

Me: *opens the case* “You’re welcome to pick out any of the boxes that you’d like.”

(She picks up a few different boxes, shakes each one, then sets it back down. Then, she turns to me and asks:)

Customer: “Do you know which one of these feels the best for guys?”

Me: *more confused than surprised by the question* “I’m sorry. I’m afraid I can’t help you there.”

Customer: “Do you know which one fits best, then?”

Me: “I can’t help you with that. I’ve never used any of those.”

Customer: *exasperated sigh* “Oh, well. Better safe than sorry.”

(She put the condoms down, grabbed a pregnancy test, and walked away without another word.)

[florida80]

Hey, Google, What Kind Of Cancer Do I Have?
CONNECTICUT, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 18, 2018
(I stop in a pharmacy to pick up some medication. I hear the following from a lady next to me.)

Woman: “I want to buy this!”

(She points at medicine on the shelf behind the pharmacist.)

Pharmacist: “That’s prescription medication. You can’t buy that. I’m sorry.”

Woman: “I NEED IT!”

Pharmacist: “Okay, well, we still can’t give you the medication. You need a prescription.”

Woman: “No! WEBMD SAID I HAVE CANCER AND I NEED THIS!”

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, I recommend you see your doctor before you get a self-diagnosis off of the Internet.”

Woman: “You’re a doctor! And I KNOW I HAVE CANCER!”

Pharmacist: “Actually, I’m not a—”

Woman: “YOU ALL WANT ME TO DIE OF CANCER! I AM REPORTING YOU TO THE POLICE!”

(She then proceeds to run out of the store, knocking down several displays and screaming “I NEED PENICILLIN! I HAVE CANCER!”)

Me: *mumbling* “How does she think penicillin will cure cancer, anyway?”

Pharmacist: “That’s not even penicillin.”

[florida80]

That’s What I (N)Said
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | JANUARY 14, 2018
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

Customer: *holding a box of OTC medication* “Excuse me. My wife is allergic to the Niacide family.”

Me: “Pardon? Do you mean NSAIDs?”

Customer: “No! NIACIDES!”

(I give him a puzzled look.)

Customer: “You know, ibuprofen and stuff!”

Me: “Right… NSAIDs.”

Customer: “Oh, whatever. Can she take this or not?”

(Then he showed me a box of acetaminophen.)

[florida80]

Benzo Combo No No
PHARMACY, USA, VIRGINIA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 11, 2018
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(I work in a popular chain pharmacy/convenience store as a pharmacy technician. It is a week before Christmas and patients are swarming in to get medications refilled before they depart for the holidays. I’m currently working at a prescription filling station that is directly across from where the pharmacist verifies them, allowing us to talk as we work. Another technician takes in a couple of prescriptions and preps them for data entry; however, when the pharmacist spots them, he immediately sees a problem.)

Pharmacist: “Whoa, I am not filling this.”

Other Technician: “Why, what’s up?”

Pharmacist: “This drug combo, carisoprodol, benzo, and an opiate…”

Me: “Bad combo?”

Pharmacist: “It’s outright lethal. I need to speak with the patient.”

(We try to page the patient back to the pharmacy via the store intercom, but it appears that they’ve already left. The pharmacist decides to contact the doctor who prescribed the drug trio to alert them to the potentially fatal consequences. He immediately identifies this doctor as being a sketchy one that he has dealt with in the past. Nonetheless, he steels himself for the call and gets him on the line.)

Pharmacist: “Hi, I’m calling because of a couple of prescriptions that you’ve prescribed for [Patient]. When taken together these drugs are a potentially lethal combo. I wanted to see if perhaps we could if we could get the carisoprodol switched to, say Flexeril.”

Doctor: “There’s been no issues in the past.”

Pharmacist: “Right… but you are aware that is THE Unholy Trinity of drugs, correct? If nothing has happened previously then great, but all it takes is a single time or misstep and the patient is going to die. I highly suggest a switch here.”

Doctor: “I don’t want to do that.”

Pharmacist: *blinks* “So, just so we’re on the same page, you want to knowingly prescribe this potentially deadly combo to the patient, rather than switching?”

Doctor: “I’ve already discussed it with the patient. It’s fine.”

Pharmacist: “Okay, well, I’m going to notify the patient of your decision and make them aware of what’s going on here. I need to cover my bases.”

Doctor: “All right, sure.”

(The pharmacist was shocked by the nonchalant nature of the doctor, but decided to follow his gut instinct and not fill all three scripts. While there are noted instances of patients taking these drugs together, they are few and far between, and the benefits do not outweigh the risks; finally, the sketchy nature of the doctor meant that the pharmacist was less than comfortable doing so. He notified the patient of the situation (who seemed more disappointed with the fact that we wouldn’t fill all three drugs than with the fact that the combo was lethal) and wrote a note on the prescription stating that it was denied as well as our contact number should the patient try to have it filled elsewhere.)

[florida80]

Who Prescribed Some Madness?
ENGLAND, PHARMACY, UK | HEALTHY | JANUARY 4, 2018
(We have a new member of staff at the pharmacy and we’ve got a number of regulars who come in to get their weekly medications, often quite a few items. This employee somehow gets it into her head that anyone with a weekly prescription is a drug abuser. One of our regulars is on a lot of different pain medications.)

Regular: “Good morning! I’m here to pick up my prescriptions. My name is [Regular].”

(The new staff member goes out to the back of the store and comes back out a few minutes later.)

New Staff: “No, there isn’t anything.”

Regular: “I pick this up every week, and I know I have at least three months’ worth of repeats for all these from the doctor.”

New Staff: “No. No, we have nothing.”

Regular: *spotting our pharmacist who knows her very well* “Hi, [Pharmacist]! Got my weekly meds?”

Pharmacist: “Oh, yeah. I did them yesterday—”

New Staff: “No! No, you didn’t. We have nothing!” *to Regular* “You need to leave; we have nothing for you!”

Pharmacist: “Don’t be daft. I’ll go fetch them.” *heads to the back and comes out with a large bag* “Can I just check your address and date of birth?”

Regular: *gives details*

Pharmacist: “Yup, here you go. See you next week!”

New Staff: “I told her we had nothing! Why did you make me look like a liar?!”

Pharmacist: “Because you were lying? [Regular] comes in every week and I always have her meds done.”

New Staff: “I saw what she’s on. She’s a f****** druggie. You shouldn’t enable these people.”

Regular: “I beg your pardon?”

Pharmacist: “Okay, we do not treat customers like that. Whatever personal views you have on certain medications, you leave those views at home.”

New Staff: “She’s a druggie. Why would anyone else need [strong pain medication]?”

Regular: “Because half my lower spine was smashed in an accident and I live in constant, agonising pain?”

New Staff: “Shut up, druggie.”

Pharmacist: “Right. That’s it. Go home.”

(She was fired that day, and officially cautioned by the police when for two weeks afterward she kept hanging around the pharmacy entrance waiting for our regular customer so she could yell at them some more. We know this because she told EVERY other customer entering our store. Luckily, our regular has a good sense of humour and just laughed off the whole episode.)

[florida80]

At A Hair-Loss For Words
FINLAND, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | JANUARY 3, 2018
(The men in my family tend to start suffering from hair loss in their mid-20s, and mine seems to have started, so I go to a nearby pharmacy to buy certain shampoo recommended by my stepfather. Note that I have grown my hair for a few years and it’s currently some 18 to 20 inches long.)

Employee: “Hello, can I help you with anything?”

Me: “Yes, I was looking for certain shampoo but don’t remember the name of the product.”

Employee: “What kind of shampoo? For dry hair, or–”

Me: “For hair loss.”

Employee: *goes silent and stares at my long hair, then grabs a bottle off a shelf* “Well, we have this one.”

Me: “That’s the product; thank you!”

(I only realized what had happened after I got back home.)

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #102197 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=102197)
AUSTRALIA, MELBOURNE, PHARMACY | UNFILTERED | DECEMBER 27, 2017
(The centre has lost power but we are still trading, doing everything manually)

Customer: “Can i have my repeat?”

Me: “I’m sorry but as i said, we have lost power and are able to print repeats but we will mail it out to you once the power comes back”

Customer: “But i want my repeat”

Me: “I’m sorry but we can’t print it”

(The customer rolls their eyes then proceedes to the checkout where we clearly state “Cash only” because of the power outage)

Customer: “I want to pay by card.”

Co worker: “I’m sorry but we have no power so we can’t use EFTPOS”

Customer: “But I want to pay by card”

Co worker: “I’m sorry, but the power is out so we can’t use the ETFPOS.”

Customer: “But I WANT to pay by card. Why did you cut the power on me. Put it back on”

Co worker: “We didn’t cut the power. The whole centre is out of power. We aren’t sure when the power will come back.”

Customer: “Well that’s your problem.”

(The customer storms off, without getting their items)

[florida80]

Obviously Not Stressing It Enough
OREGON, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 26, 2017
(My doctor has prescribed me a four-month supply of a new medicine, to see if it will help with my migraines. I get it filled for the first two months at my local pharmacy without a problem, but the third month I am told I have to call my insurance to sort out a problem. After fighting my way through the automated system and identifying myself:)

Me: “My pharmacy told me that I need to call you about one of my meds.”

Operator: “Yes, it looks like that has been flagged as a ‘maintenance medication’ in our system, so it can only be filled at a regular pharmacy twice. After that it needs to be filled as a three-month supply via mail order.”

(This is news to me, but then again, it is a new insurance plan, so I am not that familiar with it.)

Me: “Okay, but I only have two more months on this medication; my doctor just gave me a four-month script to see if it works for me.”

Operator: “Yes, you just need to get set up on our online system to get it in a three-month supply.”

Me: “That’s the problem: I don’t have three months left on it. Can I get a two-month supply?”

Operator: No, it has to be a three-month supply because it is a ‘maintenance medication.'”

Me: “But I only have two more months on this prescription; it’s a trial to see if it works.”

Operator: “That’s fine; just get set up on our online system and you can get a three-month supply from now on.”

Me: “No, I can’t. I probably won’t be on this that long, and my prescription is only for two more months. Are you saying I need to go to my doctor and get a new three-month prescription in order to fill my last two months?”

Operator: “No, you keep the same prescription; just order a three-month supply online. Do you need the website address?”

Me: “No, I think I need a new prescription, because mine is only for another two months.”

Operator: “No, it must be three months.”

Me: “So, I need to get a new prescription from my doctor for three-months’ worth, or stop taking it now?”

Operator: “No, just enter your prescription online and select ‘three-month supply.'”

Me: “But I don’t have three months left on this medication.”

Operator: *sighs loudly* “I can give you a one-time exception to pick up this month from your pharmacy, but after that you really need to start getting it in a three-month supply via mail order.”

(I decided three months would have to be enough of a trial on that medication; it wasn’t working anyway, and that phone call to get more definitely triggered a stress migraine.)

[florida80]

The Tale Is In The Yelling
ALABAMA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 25, 2017
(I’m at a local pharmacy. Twenty minutes ago I dropped off a prescription and now I am picking it up.)

Pharmacist: “Yes, sir?”

Me: “Prescription for [My Name]?”

Pharmacist: “It’s not ready yet, but it should be in just a few minutes.”

Me: “Sure, that’s fine.”

(I go and sit down in the waiting area. The pharmacist walks over to another employee and whispers something to her, which I happen to overhear:)

Pharmacist: “Can you believe it? He actually didn’t yell at me!”

[florida80]

A Prescription By Any Other Name
PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 21, 2017
(I go to my local pharmacy to drop off a prescription. As most pharmacies are, it is very busy with a full waiting area and they tell me there will be a wait for my medication. I browse the store for a while until I hear my name called over the intercom, and then get back in line to pick up the prescription. An elderly man who is also waiting for a prescription gets up from his chair and approaches me.)

Patient: “Are you Veronica? They just called a Veronica; are you her?”

(They definitely did not just call anyone named Veronica, and my name sounds nothing like Veronica, although they both do end in the letter ‘A.’)

Me: “Uh, no, sir, I’m not Veronica but my prescription is ready.”

Patient: “Well, if you’re not Veronica then your prescription is not ready so get out of line and wait like the rest of us!”

Me: “Sir, they called my name and I am going to pick up my prescription. Even if they didn’t I’m not cutting anyone in line or making anyone else wait longer, so please don’t shout at me.”

(At this point he started telling the whole waiting room that I was not Veronica and I was trying to steal Veronica’s prescription, but he was actually speaking very calmly so no one really paid him any mind. They called me up to the desk and I got my medication, and let them know the man seemed slightly agitated and might need some help. As I was leaving I heard him arguing with the pharmacy technician, saying “But she’s NOT VERONICA!”)

[florida80]

Honesty Is Always The Best Medicine
ENGLAND, PHARMACY, UK | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 14, 2017
(I am waiting patiently for a prescription to be filled in a quiet pharmacy.)

Pharmacist: “Found it; here you go!”

Me: *takes bagged item* “Thanks.”

Pharmacist: “No problem, bye!”

Me: “Uhh… I still need to pay for this.”

Pharmacist: “Oh! I’m so sorry. Thank you for your honesty.” *rings up the transaction*

Me: “Well, not that I would anyway, but it would be kind of stupid for me to run off, seeing as you know exactly who I am and where I live.” *gestures to my address printed on the bag*

Pharmacist: “You wouldn’t believe what some people try.

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #101515 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=101515)
NORTH CAROLINA, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | DECEMBER 8, 2017
(I work at a pharmacy. It’s just me and two other people today, so I am in charge of customer initial contact.)

Me: *standing at the computer, hears heavy breathing come my way from the other side of the store*

Customer: *leans in the counter exhausted and breathing heavy* “Hey, hold on let me rest right quick.” *breathing heavy and sweating and smells like wet dog*

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “Can I get my pain pills filled?”

Me: “Yeah, I can get it filled.”

(My manager immediately comes over.)

Manager: “Ma’am, you’re not allowed in this store. I watched you stealing just last week.”

Customer: *appalled* “It wasn’t me, it was my daughter. She looks exactly like me with her hair tied up.”

Manager: “Ma’am, I watched YOU steal it. Your daughter came to you to ask to take it and you put it in your purse.”

Customer: “I’m going to kick her a**! The same thing happened to me at the other store; it is always happening to me.”

(She walks out cursing while all three of us are watching her leave to make sure she doesn’t go off.)

Me: “If you keep getting caught, stop stealing. Easy fix.”

Manager: “She is an a** anyway.”

[florida80]

Acting Narcotic Robotic
NORTH CAROLINA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 5, 2017
(I have an invisible chronic illness, Chronic Pancreatitis, that was caused by complications from gallbladder surgery a few years back. I am on tons of medication on a daily basis just so I can function normally and work a demanding full-time job. One of these medications is a narcotic; because of the multitudes who abuse it, a lot of judgement is passed on those who legitimately need it.)

Me: “Hi there! Just need to get this filled.”

(I hand my prescription over to a pharmacist that I don’t recognize. These prescriptions are very specific for when you can fill them, and are dated accordingly. Everything on mine is legit, as I literally just left the doctor’s office.)

Pharmacist: *takes a long time to look at it, and keeps looking back up at me* “Are you sure it’s time to fill this again?”

Me: “Um… Well, yeah. I just picked that up from my doctor, and the fill date is listed. You can also check your system, because this is the only pharmacy I use.”

(The pharmacist gives me a weird look and says it’ll be ten minutes, so I go sit down to wait. A few minutes later I hear her on the phone, and I don’t really pay any attention until I hear her say my name. Turns out she is calling my doctor’s office to verify it, the whole time shooting nasty sideways looks at me. Okay, totally fine; I know they have to be careful and check these things, so I brush it off. A couple minutes later when I walk up to the counter to pick it up:)

Pharmacist: “You know, this stuff is really bad for you. You shouldn’t be taking this.”

Me: *stunned* “Well, it helps me stay upright so I can work. Haha.”

Pharmacist: “My sister was on this and it was horrible. I would have to tell her all the time about how bad it was and that she had to get off of it, and she was addicted. It was really bad and she had such a hard time. You shouldn’t be taking this!”

Me: “Well, I’m going to let my doctor decide that. Can I check out now, please?”

(I understand how many people get hooked on narcotics, and the rising epidemic in this country, but they do have benefits that people like myself need. I don’t even think this lady was worried about the bigger social issue; I think she just got it into her head that it was a horrible medication from her bad experience with her sister. I’m sorry, lady; you are a pharmacist who should know better, and until you gain your medical doctorate and start practicing gastroenterology, keep your opinions about my treatment to yourself!)

[florida80]

Cancer Is A Crime
CALIFORNIA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 28, 2017
(I’ve been diagnosed with cancer and am on numerous medications, including morphine and oxycodone for the pain I am in. I’m pretty skinny and pale and not looking healthy after six months of chemotherapy. I go to my normal pharmacy with my paper prescription to get filled and a new pharmacy tech, or at least one I’ve never seen in the six months I’ve frequented this place, greets me. I hand him my paperwork, and he starts to type in into his computer, and then looks at me and says:)

Pharmacy Tech: “I see you’ve been getting these pills for a few months now, and you’re refilling them on the same date every month. You can’t fill this if you’re just going to sell them on the street for your drug money.”

(My jaw drops, and he hands my prescription back to me.)

Pharmacy Tech: “I’m calling the police now, sir, so don’t run off.”

(He then goes to the phone and starts dialing. The pharmacist sees me through their little window and waves at me, I see her a lot when I’m there and she’s helped consult me on the timing of taking my meds so I don’t make myself sick. I wave her over.)

Pharmacist: “Hi!”

Me: “You may want to talk to your new guy. He’s calling the cops on me.”

(She turns around and sees him on the phone.)

Pharmacist: “What are you doing?”

Pharmacy Tech: *covers the receiver* “This junkie is trying to get pills to sell. I’m calling the cops.”

(She rips the phone out of his hand and yells at him.)

Pharmacist: “He has cancer, you idiot!”

(He went pale. She sent him away and hung up the phone. I got my refills, and I never saw that guy again.)

[florida80]

Digger-ing Yourself Into A Hole
PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 28, 2017
(I am at the pharmacy to pick up a prescription that was called in.)

Tech: “Can I help you?”

Me: “I need to pick up for [Last Name].”

Tech: *types into computer* “First name?”

Me: “Digger.”

Tech: “Digger?”

Me: “Yes.”

(The tech give me a funny look and goes into the back. He returns with the medicine in hand.)

Tech: “So, you can’t drive while taking this. Also, you cannot drink alcohol while taking this. I will need you to sign saying you understand those restrictions.”

Me: *laughing* “No problem.”

Tech: “I need a date of birth.”

Me: “October 2015. I don’t know the day.”

Tech: “You don’t know your child’s birthdate?”

Me: “It’s not my child.”

Tech: “I’m not going to be able to fill this.”

Me: “I need the pharmacist. Now.”

(The pharmacist comes out and asks what the problem is.)

Tech: “She’s picking up this medicine but she doesn’t know the birthdate and then she says it isn’t her child.”

Pharmacist: *takes bag and reads label* “Look at this name.”

(The tech looks and still doesn’t seem to understand.)

Pharmacist: “The patient is named Digger K9 [Last Name]. That means it’s for her dog. Lots of people don’t know their dog’s birthday.”

Tech: “How was I supposed to know?”

Pharmacist: “I’ll finish this. Go wait in the office for me.”

(When I went to get his refill, the same tech handled the transaction. He commented that it was a really big dose for a toddler. Pretty sure whatever the pharmacist said — it didn’t help.)

[florida80]

Graduated Up To A Personalized Service
PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 23, 2017
(I am picking up my medicine and in order to do so, you must give your name and birth date, including year.)

Clerk: “Name?”

Me: “[My Name].”

Clerk: “Birthday?”

Me: “[Date].”

Clerk: “That’s the same day I graduated. To the day.”

Me: “And year. Next time you ask, I’m just going to say, ‘the exact day you graduated.’”

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The Sad Estate Of This Family
PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 22, 2017
(I work at a long-term care pharmacy. We service patients in nursing homes, assisted living, etc. and bill prescription costs monthly. Of course, this means we have trouble with people not paying their bill. Part of my job is to make collections calls. I hear all kinds of excuses, but this was a first.)

Man: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] calling from [Pharmacy]. Is [Person #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] available?”

Man: “Nope, he’s in jail over in [County].”

Me: *not sure how to respond* “I’m sorry to hear that… I also have [Person #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] listed as an authorized contact. May I speak with her?”

Man: “Nope, can’t talk to her either. She’s dead.”

Me: *now REALLY not sure how to respond* “I’m sorry to hear that, too. I’m calling in reference to [Patient]’s account. Who could I speak with that handles [Patient]’s finances?”

Man: “Not him. He’s dead now, too. His wife’s still living but she’s got ‘all-timers’ disease so she won’t be much help.”

Me: *basically at a loss for words at this point* “There must be someone handling [Patient]’s estate. Who would that be?”

Man: “Couldn’t tell you. The only one I know of that’s not dead, locked up, or crazy is [Person #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) ]. She’s probably the best you’re going to get.”

(Turned out [Person #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) ] was extremely nice and helpful, and promptly sent a check for the full balance. She must have been the shining star in a family of “dead, locked up, and crazy!”)

[florida80]

Making Sure You All (Co)Pay Dearly
MONEY, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 22, 2017
(I work at a long-term care pharmacy. We bill prescriptions monthly, and always get angry phone calls a few days after statements go out.)

Me: “[Pharmacy], this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Angry Man: “What kind of scam are you all running out there?”

Me: “Sir?”

Angry Man: “Do you think you’re going to get away with charging these outrageous prices? I should report you for robbery!”

Me: “If you have questions about any charges, I’d be happy to explain them to you.”

Angry Man: “As a matter of fact you can! I’d like to know why you’re charging me $50 for a month’s worth of [medication]!”

(I pull up the claim and go through my normal spiel of how we submit a claim to the insurance company, they respond with how much they’ll pay and how much of a copay we need to collect from the patient, and how we have no influence over the cost of the copay, as this is determined by the plan, etc.)

Angry Man: “Well then, how come I can go to [Other Pharmacy] and get three months’ worth for $150?”

Me: “Sir, that’s the same price.”

Angry Man: “You’re trying to tell me that $50 and $150 are the same thing? How stupid can you be to have your job?”

Me: *remembering to be professional and not sarcastic* “No, sir. I’m telling you that $50 for a 30 day supply and $150 for a 90 day supply is exactly the same price.”

Angry Man: “I can’t pay $50 every month for one prescription! I’ll go broke! I’m going to be using [Other Pharmacy] from now on so I can get more for a decent price! And I’m going up to [Nursing Home] and telling everyone there that you’re robbing them!”

Me: *slowly losing professionalism* “You have the right to use whatever pharmacy you like. If you feel the need to tell them that, I can’t stop you. But if they can do basic math, they’ll realize that copays are no different with us than they are anywhere else.”

Angry Man: “I know the tactics you people use to try to confuse me. You talk over my head hoping I’ll give up and pay your ridiculous price! You’re not going to fool me. I’m no dumb-a**!”

(At this point I was contemplating whether it would be worth the complaint I’d get if I said “Well, sir, you certainly could’ve fooled me,” but he slammed the phone down, making my decision for me. People are unbelievably dumb!)

[florida80]

Hoping It Was Some Off-Brand Humor
HEALTH & BODY, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, PHARMACY, UK | WORKING | NOVEMBER 20, 2017
(My mother has recently moved to a new area. Unfortunately, a week after moving she gets a bad bout of thrush. She goes to the local parade of shops where she has been told there is a pharmacy. Behind the counter is a younger woman dressed in the white coat of a pharmacist.)

Mother: *quietly, as she’s a little embarrassed* “Hello, I was wondering if I could buy some clotrimazole?”

Cashier: “Sorry, madam, I didn’t quite catch that. What were you after?”

Mother: “Clotrimazole, please?”

(The cashier is looking very confused at this point.)

Cashier: “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that.”

Mother: “Clotrimazole, generic [Brand]?”

(The cashier at this point turns to her older colleague. My mother is getting frustrated as she is already embarrassed, and thrush is a fairly common problem, so she should be aware of at least the branded version.)

Older Colleague: “[Brand]? I don’t believe I’m familiar with that.”

Younger Cashier: “Is it for cats or dogs?”

(My mother just turned and walked out, too embarrassed to explain. The pharmacy was next door!)

[florida80]

Vets Need To Vet Their Pharmacists
NEW YORK, PHARMACY, USA, VET | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 17, 2017
(I take my sick dog to the vet and they don’t have the medicine he needs, so they send me to a store to pick it up from their pharmacy.)

Me: “Hi, I’m here to pick up medicine for my dog.”

Rep: “What’s the name?”

Me: “Well, my name is [My Name], but my dog is named Austin.”

Rep: “The medicine is for Austin? What’s Austin’s date of birth?”

Me: “I honestly don’t know what they would have for that; he is a rescue.”

Rep: “Do you have a phone number for Austin?”

Me: “My number is [number].”

Rep: “I don’t need your number. I need the patient’s number.”

Me: “He’s a golden retriever. He doesn’t have a number.”

Rep: “Look, I need information or I can’t give you anything. I can’t even find the prescription.”

Me: “It was called in by [Vet Hospital, with ‘Veterinary’ in the name].”

(The rep yells to the people behind him:)

Rep: “Did we get a call from a [Vet Hospital, but without the word ‘Veterinary’]?”

(I try to correct him, but he brushes me off and the other employees tell him no.)

Rep: “Look, try talking to someone at the drop off window. Right now, you can’t prove you even have a prescription.”

Me: “I don’t have a prescription, but my dog, Austin, does from his veterinarian.”

(The rep glares at me and points to the drop off window. I go over.)

Me: “Hi, I’m here to pick up medicine for my dog, Austin, that my veterinarian called in.”

Drop-Off Pharmacist: “I have that here. What’s your phone number so I can verify?” *I provide it* “Okay, our customer service rep at the main register will check you out.”

(I get back in the first line with the same rep.)

Rep: “What’s this? They found it? Well, I still need you to verify Austin’s information, or call him to get it.”

Me: “Again, Austin is a dog. See? The medicine is listed for veterinary; there’s even a picture of a dog on the package.”

Rep: “Okay, you need to talk to the pharmacist.”

(He puts the medicine on the back counter. I wait five minutes and the pharmacist comes out.)

Pharmacist: “What questions do you have?”

Me: “None, actually. The vet said just to give him a pill twice a day.”

Pharmacist: “Okay. [Rep], why did you call me up?”

Rep: “Is it even legal to give this to her? She doesn’t have the patient’s information.”

Pharmacist: “The patient is a dog. It’s fine.”

Rep: “A dog? Who needs medicine for a dog? Whatever, here.”

(He hands me the bag with the medication.)

Me: “I haven’t paid.”

Rep: “Yeah, you did; I rang you out.”

Me: “No.”

Pharmacist: “This wasn’t paid for. Let me personally ring you out over here. I’m going to write down my information and the name of the other employee who helped you. If you have any questions, comments, or complaints, please send them to this email address. Please send them. We need to have a certain number of complaints before we can let an employee go.”

[florida80]

Enough To Make You Slap Your Forehead
PHARMACY, SWEDEN | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 15, 2017
(I work at a pharmacy. A patient is complaining about a spray she had bought a couple of days ago.)

Patient: “It did absolutely not work! It is a nasal spray for sinusitis! Since it contains cortisone, it should work!”

Me: “How do you use it?”

(I ask, since the biggest problem with stuff like this is that you usually use maybe too little, too much, or just plain wrong. She looks at me, a little offended.)

Patient: *sounding annoyed* “Well, I use it as the description says! Two sprays once a day!”

(I think long and hard about how it couldn’t have made any difference for her.)

Patient: “Besides, it gets so messy, and it doesn’t dry quickly at all!”

Me: *can’t wrap my brains about what she meant* “Can you please explain?”

(She took out the spray with a annoyed sigh and held it up against her forehead. She had used the nasal spray on her forehead. I tried my absolute hardest not to laugh and explained as professionally as I could that the spray for sinusitis is to be sprayed in your nose, and not on your forehead.)

[florida80]

You’ve Got Things Back To Front
CANADA, MANITOBA, PHARMACY, WINNIPEG | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 8, 2017
(At our pharmacy we have cashiers who run the till when customers pick up their prescriptions. The cashiers have no pharmacy school education. A woman is picking up an antibiotic for a urinary tract infection.)

Customer: *in a loud voice* “I keep getting these urinary tract infections!”

Cashier: *awkwardly* “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

Customer: *still very loud* “Do you think it’s because I wipe from back to front? They say you shouldn’t but I’ve done it all my life!”

Cashier: *trying very hard to remain professional* “Er… I really couldn’t say.”

(Meanwhile the rest of the staff are trying very hard not to laugh out loud.)

[florida80]

“Good Morning” – There’s An App For That
CALIFORNIA, JERK, PHARMACY, STRANGERS, USA | FRIENDLY | NOVEMBER 4, 2017
(I’m at the pharmacy in my doctor’s office with my mom. I’m 26, and my mom is in her late 50s. We are waiting for my name to be called, chatting and doing work on our phones, when a man who seems to be in his late 50s to mid 60s approaches us.)

Man: “Excuse me, ladies.” *sounding affronted* “You put those down now!”

Mom: “What?”

Man: “If you’re on those, then you won’t be able to say, ‘Good morning.’”

Me: “Good morning.”

(He nodded and walked off, looking smug. My mom and I shared a look. It irked us that he thought he could make insinuating comments to strangers like that, as if we were being totally frivolous and inattentive to people around us just because we were using our phones. For sure, people use them more than they should, but why does that give you the right to police others’ phone use? It was patronizing and totally weird.)

[florida80]

Failed The Pregnancy Test
HEALTH & BODY, JERK, LGBTQ, PHARMACY, UK | WORKING | NOVEMBER 1, 2017
(I’m picking up a prescription along with a couple of purchases.)

Cashier: “Here you are, sir. Also, would you be interested in our pregnancy tests?”

Me: “Uh, I’m male, so, no.”

Cashier: “Perhaps for your girlfriend?”

Me: “No?”

Cashier: “Come on, now. A strapping young man like yourself? It’s always good to be safe.”

Me: “I’m really not interested. I doubt a pregnancy test would even be effective with me. A condom sounds more reliable.”

Cashier: “Ah, but they can fail!”

Me: “It’s still a no.”

Cashier: *suddenly furious* “WELL, WHY NOT?”

Me: “Because I think it’s doubtful my boyfriend will come up to me and say he might be pregnant.”

Cashier: *pauses* “Oh, well, you didn’t have to be so rude!”

(After I paid and before the receipt printed, the cashier just walked away. The kicker: I go there every year for gay sexual health checkups. He actually knows my boyfriend and me well, and he has always known that I’m gay.)

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The Workforce Is Strong With This One
DRUG STORE, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 31, 2017
(We have a giant inflatable ghost on display for Halloween. It doesn’t quite sit right and tends to lean to the side, so we frequently adjust it.)

Coworker: “[My name]! The ghost is falling again.”

Me: “Okay…”

(We spend about five minutes fiddling with it, until we get it to sit up right.)

Coworker: “Oh, no. His ascot got flipped backwards.”

(We proceed to grab boxes and stick-like things, trying to flip the ascot back around to no avail.)

Me: “OH! I’ve got it!”

(I run away with no explanation and return with a toy extendable lightsaber. I make the “vwing” noise and I flick it and extend the lightsaber. I succeed in straightening the ghost’s tie on the first attempt.)

Coworker: “…You just fixed the ascot of an inflatable ghost with a lightsaber.”

Me: “I love this job.”

[florida80]

How To Be A Divorcee By Five
BIZARRE, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | WORKING | OCTOBER 28, 2017
(We have just switched to my husband’s insurance. He provides our information to HR, and it’s HR that actually provides it to the insurance company. I have a monthly-renewing prescription for birth control and this is the first time trying to pick it up under the new insurance.)

Me: “Hi, I’m [My Name] here to pick up a prescription.”

Pharmacist: *looks at computer* “Okay. Can I get you to verify the address for me?”

Me: “It’s [address].”

Pharmacist: “Um… I’ll go ahead and give it to you today, since I see you all the time, but you need to contact your insurance, ASAP. They listed your date of birth as [correct month and day], 2016.”

(I have no idea how his HR managed to list me as his spouse at less than one year old.)

[florida80]

There Are Prescribed Lunch Breaks
CALIFORNIA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 26, 2017
(I work in a pharmacy as an intern, and on the weekends, we only have one pharmacist on duty. It is company policy that employees have to take their unpaid lunch by the fifth hour on the clock. This happens when our pharmacist is out to lunch.)

Tech: “Hello there. Are you picking up or dropping off?”

Patient: “Picking up.”

Tech: “I’m sorry, but our pharmacist is on lunch. We can’t sell any prescriptions without a pharmacist here.”

Patient: “Why the h*** not?!”

Tech: “I’m sorry, but it is against the law for us to do that.”

Patient: “Just give it to me! I drove all the way here!”

Tech: “I can’t; it’s against the law, and we have to have a pharmacist here.”

Patient: “There should always be a pharmacist here; it’s a pharmacy! Why the h*** aren’t they here?!”

Tech: “She’s on her lunch right now. She’ll be back at 1:30, but I can’t do anything until then.”

Patient: “I want to talk to a manager!”

Tech: *calls manager*

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t do anything until the pharmacist comes back from lunch. She has to take her lunch, too.”

Patient: “I’m complaining to corporate. What is their number? This is ridiculous!”

Manager: “It’s [number].”

(The patient storms off as the manager just shrugs.)

Manager: “Call all you want. What are they gonna do? Fire me for following the law?”

[florida80]

Suddenly Anti-Antibiotic
CANADA, MONTREAL, PHARMACY, QUEBEC | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 26, 2017
Customer: “Hi, I’d like to fill this prescription, please.”

Me: “Very well, I’ll need your birthdate.”

Customer: “[Birthdate]. Hurry up, please.”

Me: “Any known allergies?”

Customer: “What? No! Look, it’s not my first time taking these pills. Just give it to me.”

Me: *taken aback* “Okay, sir, you may go in the waiting room.”

(A few minutes later the pharmacist explains the treatment to the customer.)

Pharmacist: “So, those pills are penicillin combined with another antibiotic—”

Customer: “Penicillin? What? I can’t take this! I’m deathly allergic to penicillin!”

[florida80]

Suddenly Anti-Antibiotic
CANADA, MONTREAL, PHARMACY, QUEBEC | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 26, 2017
Customer: “Hi, I’d like to fill this prescription, please.”

Me: “Very well, I’ll need your birthdate.”

Customer: “[Birthdate]. Hurry up, please.”

Me: “Any known allergies?”

Customer: “What? No! Look, it’s not my first time taking these pills. Just give it to me.”

Me: *taken aback* “Okay, sir, you may go in the waiting room.”

(A few minutes later the pharmacist explains the treatment to the customer.)

Pharmacist: “So, those pills are penicillin combined with another antibiotic—”

Customer: “Penicillin? What? I can’t take this! I’m deathly allergic to penicillin!”

[florida80]

1 Part Bleach To 100 Parts Stupidity, Part 2
PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, PITTSBURGH, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 25, 2017
(I am a pharmacy technician, not qualified to recommend drugs or dispense advice. Any questions about actual medicine, I am required to pass off to a pharmacist, even if I think I know the answer.)

Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

Customer: *mumbling* “Um, I think I—” *mumbles* “—contact with bleach…”

Me: “I’m sorry, what? Could you repeat that?”

Customer: “I think I might have swallowed some bleach and was wondering if the pharmacist could recommend anything.”

Me: *trying not to look alarmed* “Well, if I were you, I would call the Poison Control Center, but I’ll check with the pharmacist.”

(I go back to the counter where the pharmacist is working.)

Me: “This guy says he might have ingested bleach and wants to know if you can recommend anything. I told him he should call the Poison Control Center.”

Pharmacist: “Yeah, that’s about it.”

(I go up to the front counter and repeat this advice to the customer.)

Customer: “Well, I drank some fluids and I’m feeling better now. I had some [soda], and some water, and some lemonade. My chest was hurting before but now it’s better. Do you know if bleach can make your chest hurt?”

Me: “Um… probably. If you swallowed bleach, it could hurt on the way down. You should probably call the Poison Control Center.”

Customer: “Eh, maybe I’ll call them tomorrow. If I’m not feeling better then, I can go to the emergency room, too.”

Me: “I would call them tonight if I were you, just to be safe. Do you want their number?”

(I write it down on the nearest piece of paper and hand it to him.)

Customer: “Yeah, thanks. I might call them tomorrow.”

(He wanders away, but comes back later. My coworker is an intern, studying to become a pharmacist, and gets to the counter first. I overhear their conversation.)

Customer: “I was wondering about water pills. What do they do?”

Coworker: “Um, they make you urinate.”

Customer: “Can I get some of those?”

Coworker: *realizing why he’s asking* “They don’t flush out your system; they’re used to lower blood pressure. And you would need a prescription.”

Customer: “Can I get one of those?”

Coworker: *bewildered* “We don’t give prescriptions here; we just fill them. You would need to go to a doctor.”

(The customer wanders away, apparently still confused about a lot of things.)

Me: “I hope he’s going to be okay.”

Pharmacist: “If he had really swallowed bleach, his throat would be burned. I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but there’s nothing else we can do.”

[florida80]

1 Part Bleach To 100 Parts Stupidity
PET STORE | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 22, 2012
Me: “How are you today? I’m told you needed help with fish?”

Customer: “Yeah, all my fish died after I cleaned my tank yesterday. My husband says that it may have had to do with me using bleach, but I told him he was wrong.”

Me: “Well, actually he is right. Bleach leaves residue on the glass. Even after rinsing it, that can kill the fish.”

Customer: “But I didn’t even rinse it.”

Me: “What did you do, then?”

Customer: “I just added it to the water. How could that kill them?”

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #97694 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=97694)
NEW YORK, PHARMACY, RETAIL, USA | UNFILTERED | OCTOBER 11, 2017
(Certain Allergy medicines have to be purchased back in the pharmacy due to New York State law. You can get a script for them, but most people just buy it over the counter. At this time, Allegra-D 24 hr is completely unavailable.)

Customer: “I need to get Allegra-D 24-hour for my daughter.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but it’s currently unavailable right now. All we have is the 12 hour.”

Customer: “Really? You don’t have any?”

Cashier: “Yes. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “What is my daughter going to do? She needs it!”

(The Cashier shrugs sympathetically. The customer starts to walk away, but turns around.)

Customer: “If I call her doctor and get a script for it, will you have the Allegra-D ready for her then?”

Cashier: “No. It’s unavailable.”

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #97624 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=97624)
CALIFORNIA, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | OCTOBER 10, 2017
(I am around eight months pregnant, well into my last trimester and am dealing with a bad cold. Needless to say, I am miserable. I go to my doctor and she prescribes me pseudo-ephedrine. I go downstairs with my husband to the pharmacy. I give my prescription to the pharmacist.)
Pharmacist: “I can’t give this to you.”

Me: “Why?”

Pharmacist: “Because you are pregnant.”

Me: “But the doctor prescribed it to me. I am sick and can’t get any relief from [popular brand].”

Pharmacist: “I am sorry but I can’t give you something that might cause you to miscarry.”

(My husband at this point is getting fed up and goes upstairs to talk with the doctor. I continue to argue with the pharmacist who keeps on insisting the doctor didn’t give me the right prescription. He pulls down this War and Peace book of pharmaceuticals. He flips to the section showing the medication we have been arguing about.)

Pharmacist: “See, read right here.”

(He helps another customer while I read the section. When he gets finished, I flag him over.)

Me: “It says right here that it is dangerous for woman who are in the first trimester, not their third which I am in. Please, can I have my medication?”

(He reads the book and agrees with me.)

Pharmacist: “Sorry about that, I didn’t read this section. I’ll call you up when it is ready.”

Me: “Thank you.”
(I go and sit down to wait for it and my husband who has yet to come back from talking with the doctor. He finally hands me my prescription and I sit down to wait for my husband. My son is seven now but I still remember that pharmacist who had good intentions but didn’t take into account that his timing was way off and that the doctor approved prescription.

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #96667 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=96667)
PHARMACY, TEXAS, USA | UNFILTERED | OCTOBER 6, 2017
A woman approaches the counter and asks for a consultation from the pharmacist. The patient inquires about vitamins, and the pharmacist counsels her for about 15 minutes, and ensures there are no interactions with her medications. She proceeds to shop more, then asks to check out with me. She proceeds to throw her items on the counter, and drops a 12 can coke pack on my left hand. I say nothing, since no damage was done. I finish the transaction and notice she has 2 other packs on the bottom of her cart out of my sight until she started to retreat. I call after her and she proceed to say “Seriously, you didn’t ring these up?”
Me: “No, I’m sorry. I didn’t know those were in the bottom of your cart. I can ring them through really quick, one moment.”
Her: “This is ridiculous, I’d assume you’d knew I’d have three since they’re on sale.”
Me: “I didn’t know they were on sale. It isn’t a good idea to charge you for items I don’t know you are purchasing. Your total for the 2 packs is (amount).”
The woman scoffs and says: “What? You mean I OWE you money?!”
Me: “Yes ma’am, if you want the additional two packs, you have to pay for them.”
She mutters under her breath and reluctantly puts in her chip card. I bid her a good day and she goes on her way. I heard from the manager that she caused a scene up front claiming that I overcharged her (I didn’t) and that the pharmacist didn’t help her in any way with vitamins. She also claimed that we refused to write her a rain check which she didn’t ask for.

[florida80]

A Clear Stamp Of Admitting Their Mistake
AUSTRALIA, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NORTHERN TERRITORIES, PHARMACY, STUPID | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 29, 2017
(I work in a small pharmacy that is located about three shops away from a post office. Despite being small, it has obvious advertising.)

Customer: *walks straight up to the counter* “Hi. I can’t find your stamps.”

Me: “Uh, sorry, ma’am; we don’t sell stamps here.”

Customer: *immediately becomes frustrated* “What kind of post office doesn’t sell stamps!?”

Me: *indicates to medications surrounding the entire counter* “This is a pharmacy. The post office is just down the hall.”

Customer: “SO?!”

(She then stormed out the door as though we had offended her.)

[florida80]

Just Slide Right Past Your Instructions
CALIFORNIA, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, MONEY, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 25, 2017
(I work at a pharmacy where patients are asked to give their signature for insurance purposes, indicating that they have picked up their prescriptions, before they make their payment. Here is the basic conversation, all day, every day, at the pick-up counter.)

Cashier: “Before you swipe your card, can you please press ‘next’ on the screen and sign that you are picking up your medications?”

Customer: “Okay!” *swipes card anyway, then presses ‘next’ and signs*

Cashier: *annoyed* “Okay, you can slide your card now.”

Customer: *angry* “I already slid my card!”

Cashier: *rolls eyes* “Yes, but as I was saying, you need to press ‘next’ and sign first, and then slide your card. If you slide before signing, the terminal will not read your card.”

Customer: “Oh, okay! Well, I hope I don’t get charged twice!”

Cashier: *even more annoyed* “You won’t; trust me.”

(Customer slides card.)

Cashier: “Okay, now I need your signature for the purchase.”

Customer: “But I already signed!”

Cashier: *deep sigh*

[florida80]

Not Sure If They Need Less Medication Or More
HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 21, 2017
Me: “Good evening, and thank you for calling [Big Name Pharmacy]. How can I help you?

Customer: “I need to identify a pill.”

Me: “Absolutely. Can you give me a description?”

Customer: “It’s a yellow, round pill with an ‘A’ on it. It’s pretty dirty, though.”

Me: “Oh, I really wouldn’t take any medication that appears damaged or contaminated.”

Customer: “No, it’s okay. I found it on the ground outside.”

Me: *professionalism waning* “Uh… what? You found it where?”

Customer: “I found it on the… the street just now, and I want to make sure it’s okay to take.”

Me: *professionalism out the window* “Do you usually eat random s*** off the street?!”

Customer: *hangs up*

[florida80]

Raising A Monster Versus Monster Parenting
BAD BEHAVIOR, CHILDREN, PHARMACY, USA, WILD & UNRULY | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 21, 2017
(Around the holidays, the tension is really high for people to get their prescriptions on time before going on vacation, so the pharmacy area is packed with close to forty people. I overhear this exchange as I’m ringing up a customer with an especially rude son.)

Me: “That will be $4.50, please.”

Customer: *digs in her purse for her wallet*

Customer’s Son: “Geez, stupid b****. Can’t you hurry up!? I want to go home, now!”

(A lady a few people back snaps her head towards him with a face that is the essence of “Oh, HELL no!”)

Customer’s Son: “God, Mom. Every time we go somewhere, it takes you for-f***ing-ever!”

(The lady a few people back is now breathing very loudly through her nose.)

Customer: “Sweetie, if you wait a minute, we can go get you a burger.”

Customer’s Son: “You bet like hell you are.” *points finger in her face* “You owe me big, woman. I could have been home hours ago out of this s*** heap with you. I’m bored out of my f***ing skull.”

(The lady a few people back is now looking anywhere but at the teenager, shaking her head violently, tapping the side of her purse, and muttering, “Mm-mm, mm-mmmm,” to herself.)

Customer: “Okay, look, honey. We’re done.”

Customer’s Son: “ABOUT D*** TIME, B****!”

(The customer and her son just pass around the corner, when the lady a few people back suddenly swings around, grabs both her teenage sons with one hand, and starts hitting them both with her purse.)

Lady: “DON’T.” *smack* “YOU.” *smack* “EVER.” *smack* “TALK.” *smack* “TO.” *smack* “ME.” *smack* “LIKE.” *smack* “THAT!” *smack*

(Some people are staring open-mouthed, others are cheering her on, but I am face-down on the counter, laughing hysterically. When it is the lady’s turn, I am still choking down tears.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am. How can I help you?”

Lady: “You’re laughing, but I’ll do the same to you if I ever hear you talking like that.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. You’re a great woman.”

Lady: “That’s because I was taught how to respect my parents.”

(Faith in humanity restored. Thank you, purse lady!)

[florida80]

Won’t “Let It Go” To Delivery
MOVIES & TV, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 14, 2017
(I work as a pharmacy technician and, as part of verifying a patient’s identity, I ask them to verify the address we have on file. A man with three rows of skulls tattooed on his forearm is picking up for someone else.)

Me: “Can you verify the address?”

Customer: “[Street number], uh, gosh, it’s the snowman from that Frozen movie!”

(The street was Olaf. I laughed and sold him the prescription.)

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #93136 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=93136)
PHARMACY | UNFILTERED | SEPTEMBER 8, 2017
Unfortunately, the postcode of where I live doesn’t always show up correctly with all the auto-address fill-in databases in common use. I live on a small private road (let’s call it Minor Avenue) just off a main road (let’s call it Main Road). My address is 6 Minor Avenue, Main Road, Coventry, Postcode. Some databases have it as 6 Main Road, Coventry, which does not exist. Where there should be a building is actually an open plot of land sometimes used as a temporary car park.

When I give my details over the phone, I always double check the person filling in the details has the correct information.

A few months ago, I wasn’t very well, and could foresee me needing a lot of medicine. As such, it was necessary to buy myself a pre-payment prescription card, which I did at the pharmacy. It was them that contacted the company that issues the cards, rather than me, by using their website.

Two weeks later, and I still hadn’t received my card through the post, so I rang up the prepayment people. My card had been dispatched, and when the person I was talking to double checked the details, he saw the problem and burst out laughing.

Him: I see the problem – your card has been sent to the address 6 Coventry. That was all they put!

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #91985 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=91985)
PHARMACY, WISCONSIN | UNFILTERED | AUGUST 29, 2017
This woman pulls up to the drive through pharmacy and says there is a prescription ready for her. I look up her name and when I find nothing, I then verify her address and date of birth to see if it has been filled at a different location. There is nothing.
Me: “Sorry ma’am, I do not currently see anything ready for you. What were you expecting?”
Woman: “Well, I got a text message saying that I have something ready.”
Me: “I understand that ma’am, however as I don’t see anything in the system it may have been sent in error. We do not have control over the automated system unfortunately so this happens every now and then.”
Woman: “Well I got a text message so I have a prescription here!”
Me: “Ma’am, I currently do not see anything that is ready at any location.”
Woman: (snarling) “Then WHY would I get a text message?! It HAS to mean I have something ready. I’ll even show you!”
Me: “Alright, I’ll gladly take a look at the message for you.”
She thrusts her phone into the drawer we use to hand out prescriptions through the drive-through and looks smug as I pull it back in to look.
Me: “Ma’am, it reads “Prescription due for refill. Reply “REFILL” to submit request.” I do not see your reply.”
Her demeanor changes all of a sudden like she wasn’t just snapping at me. I return her phone.
Woman: “Oh, well, it must happen all the time! (*laughs*) Can I get a refill?”
She didn’t have any refills left on her prescription anyway.

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #91955 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=91955)
NEW JERSEY, PHARMACY | UNFILTERED | AUGUST 26, 2017
(I work in a popular drug store full time. I also have PTSD and an anxiety disorder, and one of the effects of this is that Im extremely touch averse: people touching me makes me extremely nervous, and if I cant see them before they touch me it often triggers a panic attack. This particular day I am building an endstand display with my back tutned to the center aisle of the store)

Customer- *comes up behind me and roughly grabs me by the shoulder* Hey, can you help me-

Me- *Immediately panics and jetks away from her, loosing my balance and falling backwards into thr display I was building*

(At this point, while I was on the floor trying not to have a full- blown anxiety attack, the woman starts laughing.)

Customer- “Awww, I scared you!” *Laughs*

Me- *Speechless*

(As luck would have it, it was me and my manager at the register when she comes up to pay.)

Customer- (to my manager) “You know, I scared her in the aisle. I thought she was gonna cry!” *laughs*

(My manager was livid and, thankfully I was allowed to go on my break after that…)

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #91908 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=91908)
BRITISH COLUMBIA, CANADA, PHARMACY | UNFILTERED | AUGUST 21, 2017
I drop off a prescription at the pharmacy counter.

Pharmacist: We’re pretty busy. Do you want to wait or come back in about an hour?

Me: I have some other errands to run. I’ll come back around 1:30.

Pharmacist: That should be fine.

I come back about 1:40. The woman ahead of me in line at the pick-up counter is obviously angry and snarking at the shy young pharmacist. Eventually she steams off.

Me: Hi, do you have a prescription ready for (my name)?

Pharmacist: I’m so sorry. We’ve been really busy. It will probably be another 15 minutes or so. Would you like us to deliver it to your home?

Me: Oh, no. That’s fine. I’ll just run over to (supermarket) and come back.

About 20 minutes later:

Pharmacist: We’re just getting your order together. Do you mind having a seat for a couple of minutes?

Me: No problem.

A few minutes later, she calls me up to get my prescription.

Pharmacist: Thank you so much for being so patient. I’ve already had two people yell at me today.

Me: No problem. It’s not like it was your fault.

Pharmacist: They don’t seem to care about that. Thank you so much again.

Me: Hope your day gets better.

[florida80]

Getting Stupider By The Generation
OHIO, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, PHARMACY, RETAIL, USA | RELATED | AUGUST 9, 2017
(I’m pregnant and recently started showing, which has lead to many comments from customers. Also, the pregnancy has lead me to make lots of silly mistakes which I largely blame on pregnancy brain.)

Me: “Sorry about that. My daughter stole my brain cells and she won’t give them back.”

Customer: “I’m sure she’ll give them back eventually. I feel like I’ve just started to get back some brain power from my daughter.”

Me: “Oh? How old is she?”

Customer: “14.”

Me: “…”

[florida80]

Get A Load Of This!
PHARMACY | RIGHT | AUGUST 3, 2017
(I am a customer in this story, and was in the process of picking up a few prescriptions. I grabbed a small, much-needed item as well to be wrung up.)

Me: *places item on the counter* “Is it all right if I add this to the purchase? If it’s too much trouble I can take it to the front registers.”

Pharmacist: “Nah. This is one tiny item that can fit into the prescription bag. You wouldn’t believe how much people try to pack their cart at pick-up to avoid the line. We don’t have the bags or the means to properly checkout full loads back here.”

(As if on cue, a woman with a full shopping cart and a hand-basket moves in line behind me, hitting my leg in the process.)

Customer: “Hurry up! I don’t have all day.”

Me: “Sadly, I think I do.”

[florida80]

No ID, No Idea, Part 28
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JULY 5, 2017
(In response to one of our competitors ceasing to sell cigarettes, our chain has adopted a policy of requiring ID for any sales of cigarettes or paraphernalia, no matter how old someone looks. This goes for everything down to tobacco pipe cleaners, which is what a customer is trying to buy.)

Me: “Can I see your ID, please?”

Customer: “You’re kidding, right? I’m 35. You don’t need to see my ID if I look like I’m over 27.”

Me: “No, it’s a new pol—”

Customer: “This is ridiculous.” *she starts telling me her birthday to enter manually*

Me: “I can’t type in—”

Customer: “What do you need, my driver’s license number?!”

Me: “I can’t sell anything having to do with smoking unless I can see photo ID—”

Customer: “What, you want me to go back home and get my driver’s license?! This is f****** ridiculous. I want to talk to your manager. I’ve been driving around all f****** day looking for these f****** cleaners. I’ve been at two f****** shops in just this f****** plaza already!”

(She continues ranting as I go get my manager and tell him the issue. At no point does she stop being audible.)

Manager: “Ma’am, we can’t sell you those unless you have photo ID.”

Customer: “Are you kidding?! I’m thirty-f******-five. You don’t need to see my f****** ID if I look like I’m over twenty-seven. It’s the law!”

Manager: “It’s a new policy, ever since [Competitor] stopped selling cigarettes.”

(I hand her a small flyer about the new policy, an exact copy of the sign that is on our door and at various places around the store.)

Customer: “Then I don’t want any of these.”

(She continues ranting as she walks toward the door.)

Customer: “I drive around for two f****** hours, just going all over god’s f****** creation just to find these f******—”

Me: “Have a great evening!”

Customer: “F*** you!”

[florida80]

TAG: PHARMACY
Dollars To Donuts
AT THE CHECKOUT, EMPLOYEES, HEALTH & BODY, PHARMACY, USA | WORKING | JUNE 30, 2017
(I have gone to the pharmacy to refill a prescription. The transaction goes completely normal until the very end after I’ve checked out.)

Worker: “Can I interest you in a free doughnut?”

(I look at her in confusion. I wasn’t expecting being offered a doughnut at 12:30 pm from my pharmacy tech, so my brain takes a bit to process that I did hear those words. After a moment, I shake my head.)

Me: “No, thank you!”

Worker: “…that was rather silly to offer someone picking up diabetes medication, huh?”

[florida80]

The Key To Avoiding Overtime
CONNECTICUT, OVERTIME, PHARMACY, USA | WORKING | JUNE 28, 2017
(I work as a pharmacy technician. As a rule, we aren’t allowed to carry non-clear bags (i.e. purses, backpacks, etc.) into the pharmacy, and as a result hand carry in valuables like phones, keys, and wallets. Early on, the lead technicians and managers had figured out I would stay later if asked, sometimes up to two hours after my shift had ended. This would usually end in my girlfriend or some other friend calling me at the pharmacy worried to see if I was still there or had gotten home yet. To stop from being asked to stay later, I start sneaking out of the pharmacy through the side door, which is one way. It is after a shift with at least one coworker who has a reputation of trying to talk me into staying later, and it is a busy night. I slip out the side door, am grabbing my things to leave, when I realize I left my keys in the pharmacy. Unfortunately, the only way to get into the pharmacy is through the front half-door. I try to get back in unnoticed by my coworkers, which doesn’t work at all. As I’m grabbing my keys, my coworkers stop me.)

Coworker #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “What, you left without saying goodbye?” *standard procedure so that we know which areas of the pharmacy aren’t covered*

Manager: “Yeah, we were just discussing that. You do that a lot.”

Me: “If I say I’m leaving, you guys usually try to make me stay later.”

Coworker #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “See? I told you she’d say that!”

Coworker #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Yeah… I probably would’ve asked you to stay later.”

(I can’t say I wasn’t asked to stay later after that night, but at least since saying something in front of the manager, the lead techs would give me at least a few hours notice of wanting me to stay later.)

[florida80]

Keep A Watchful Eye On That One
BIZARRE, PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, TIME, USA | RIGHT | JUNE 22, 2017
Customer: “Hi, I was in here earlier and I left my watch here. I called corporate, and they said I could just come back and get a new one.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “I was in sometime between 5 and 5:30 today when I left my watch.”

(This is taking place at 1:30 pm.)

Me: “We… wouldn’t have been open.”

Customer: “I have to track everywhere I go for my work. I can show you.”

(Customer begins pulling something up on her phone.)

Me: “This store opens at 8:00 am.”

Customer: “Okay, it was at 3:30 pm that I was in.”

Me: “…Today?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “It’s 1:30; it hasn’t been 3:30 yet.”

Customer: “Is there a manager I could talk to about this?”

(While I call for the manager, she continues to talk.)

Customer: “Look, I know that you try your hardest, but I think it would be better if I talked this over with a manager.”

(After I hang up the phone, she gestures to the back of the store.)

Customer: “I’ll just take care of it meanwhile. Are they back there?”

Me: “No, that’s our pharmacy. The manager will be up here soon—”

Customer: “No, I mean your watches.”

Me: “We… don’t sell watches.”

Customer: “I can show you that I got it here. I have the bag in my car.”

(The customer walks out of the store just as my manager reaches the front.)

Manager: “Did you still need me?”

Me: “I’m really not sure…”

(If she ever returned, it wasn’t before the end of my shift a half hour later, so I can only guess at what she was talking about!)

[florida80]

Lipstuck On That Punchline
PHARMACY | WORKING | MAY 20, 2017
(I have gone to my local pharmacy to see if they have a cream suitable to put on a small insect bite on my 8-month-old’s face. They do not. I have also picked up some formula, and a lipstick for myself. The assistant has already been very confrontational with me, telling me off for not taking the baby to see a doctor about the bite. I am feeling very uncomfortable as she puts the rest of my items through the till, so I try and lighten the mood.)

Me: *to baby, in a joking voice* “Don’t worry, little man, a bit of concealer and you’ll be ready to impress the ladies in no time!”

Assistant: “What?! You can’t do that!”

Me: “Of course I won’t. I was joking.”

Assistant: “Do you have any idea how dangerous that could be? You have no idea what’s in those sort of products! Besides, babies are already beautiful!”

Me: “Yes, I’m sorry; I should not have made a joke about it.”

(She pulls the lipstick I have bought out of the basket.)

Assistant: “See! I knew you weren’t joking! You can’t put this on your child’s face!”

Me: “That’s for me. That’s bright red lipstick!”

Assistant: “Lipstick! That’s even worse! Why would you put lipstick on a baby?!”

Me: “I’m not going to put lipstick on my baby!”

Assistant: “I’m not going to sell this to you. Go home and take your baby to the doctor as you are supposed to.”

(I hurried out, feeling pretty tearful. I dutifully went to the doctor, who quite frankly was perplexed why I was there for such a minor problem! My son’s face cleared up within a day, and at no point did he wear the lipstick — it just wasn’t his colour!)

[florida80]

What A Diabeetus
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MAY 19, 2017
(I am talking to a regular customer, who is looking to lose some weight before her wedding, about a fitness professional I follow on YouTube who posts workouts and meal plans for free to help people. There is a customer next to me who is being helped by my coworker.)

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *to me and [Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ]* “Are you calling her fat?”

Me: *startled* “No, I am not. We’re just talking about fitness and—”

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “You should love your body. Don’t go telling her to change it to fit YOUR standards!”

Me: “I’m not telling her to—”

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *to [Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ]* “Don’t you love yourself?”

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “I do; I do. I just want to lose five pounds before my wedding.”

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “No! That’s the media talking! You’re being brainwashed.”

Customer: “No, it’s my doctor talking. I’m all for body positivity but a health professional is telling me to lose weight.”

Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “When you die from diabetes, don’t come looking for help then!”

Customer #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “I couldn’t because I’d be hypothetically dead.”

(Customer #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) sputtered and walked out without her change.)

[florida80]

Not Engaging The Way They Should
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MAY 2, 2017
(I recently got engaged to my boyfriend and while working I have had people comment on my ring. Usually people just say congratulations…)

Customer: “Hi there, I’d like to drop off this prescription.”

Me: “Sure thing. Did you want to wait while I fill this for you?”

Customer: *noticing my ring* “Oooh, look at that ring!”

Me: “Oh, thank you! Yes, I just recently got engaged.”

Customer: “You should ask him to trade that in and get you a ring from the Vera Wang collection instead. I like those the best.”

Me: “Um, no…”

[florida80]

A Cancer On Society
PHARMACY | RIGHT | APRIL 11, 2017
(Since it’s nearing the Christmas season, we are currently doing donations for a cancer foundation. I lost my grandfather to lung cancer earlier this year.)

Me: “Your total is $[total]. Would you like to donate a dollar to [Cancer Foundation] today?”

Customer: “No, I would not.”

Me: “Okay, no problem.” *hits ‘no’ to proceed to payment screen and am about to tell the customer she can swipe her card*

Customer: “I won’t donate because there’s already a cure for cancer. It’s the biggest conspiracy out there.” *laughs*

(All I could do was just fake laugh, smile, and wish her a good day. If you don’t want to donate, just say no. That’s it!)

[florida80]

Out-Of-Controlled Substance
PHARMACY | WORKING | MARCH 30, 2017
(A few years ago, I was with a friend at a local pharmacy. She was looking for water-based lubricant, but could find none on the shelf. I told her that she should ask the pharmacist, since they would know if they stocked the item, and if not they could call other stores to find out. She expressed nervousness that the pharmacist would judge her, and I assured her that it would be entirely unprofessional to do such a thing, but that if it bothered her I would go and ask in her stead. After waiting in line the following exchanged took place.)

Me: “Hello, could you tell me if this, or one of your affiliated stores, carries water-based lubricant?”

Young Pharmacist: “What?”

Me: “Water-based lubricant.”

Young Pharmacist: *looks uneasy* “Why do you need it?”

Me: *confused at the question* “Personal use.”

Young Pharmacist: *becoming irritated* “I need to know exactly what you plan to do with it!”

Me: “Why?”

Young Pharmacist: *suddenly looking upset* “Because it is a controlled substance!”

Me: *thinks he is joking* “No, it’s not.”

Young Pharmacist: *more upset* “Yes, it is!”

Me: *now getting irritated at this very unprofessional behavior* “No! It’s not!”

Young Pharmacist: *now irate* “Yes, it is, and unless you tell me what you plan to do with it I will not sell it to you!”

Me: *now very irate* “For f******!”

Young Pharmacist: *now suddenly pale and uneasy looking* “What?”

Me: *still upset* “For f******! Probably with sex toys involved as well! Anal and vaginal fucking! Now, do you have it or not?!”

Young Pharmacist: *looking very uncomfortable* “I’ll need to get my manager to approve that.” *runs to the backs and has a heated sounding conversation just out of earshot*

(At this point, an older woman who is clearly the head pharmacist comes up to the counter, looking clearly annoyed to be pulled away from whatever she was doing.)

Older Pharmacist: “Hello, I am the head pharmacist here. Would you explain to me what you need the controlled substance for?”

Me: “F******! Sex! Fornication! Probably involving sex toys since certain ones melt if you use the wrong personal lubricant.”

Older Pharmacist: *looking confused* “Personal lubricant is not a controlled substance…”

Me: “That’s what I told him!” *points to Younger Pharmacist* “But he refused to believe me, then demanded to know what I was using it for, then dragged you up here, and now here we are!”

Older Pharmacist: *looks at Younger Pharmacist* “Seriously? You seriously dragged me up here for this?” *turns to the computer* “What kind were you looking for?”

Me: “I need a water-based lubricant; nothing fancy. Do you or any other store in the chain close by carry it?”

(The older pharmacist types for a while, and the younger pharmacist looks uncomfortable.)

Older Pharmacist: “I’m not seeing anything; you probably have to get it online.”

Me: “Thank you very much for all of your help.”

(As I turn to walk back to my friend I hear this exchange between the Older and Younger Pharmacists.)

Older Pharmacist: “If you are going to work in this field you have to stop being this way about sexual and reproductive items or you will not last long.”

(I went back to my friend, informed them of the outcome, and we left. I am so happy that they dealt with me instead of her, as she would have left the pharmacy in tears with no answers.)

[florida80]

Out-Of-Controlled Substance, Part 2
PHARMACY | WORKING | MARCH 30, 2017
(I am at the pharmacy, picking up several medications. To pick up any medications, you have to give the address they have on file. Further, one of the medications is Schedule II, which means I need to have my ID. I pull out my ID and have it ready, waiting for the pharmacy tech to ask for it.)

Tech: “All right, your total is [price]. You can scan your card now!”

Me: *thinking they may have forgotten one of my medications* “Um… is my [controlled substance] in there?”

Tech: “Oh! Yeah, it is! I’ll need to see your ID.”

Me: *hands over the ID*

Tech: *finishes ringing me up, and starts handing me the bag, before pausing* “Oh, what’s your address?”

Me: “[Address].”

Tech: “All right, here you go!”

(As I left, I remembered I’m usually supposed to give my date of birth as well. Kinda takes the “controlled” out of controlled substances when I could’ve gotten it with nothing but a name… I’m just glad I caught it before the person got in big trouble.)

[florida80]

The Customer Is Sometimes Right
AWESOME, CANADA, ONTARIO, PHARMACY, TORONTO | RIGHT | MARCH 29, 2017
(I’m the customer in this one, calling into the store. I have worked in customer service for years and as such I tend to get a lot of “oh, thank heavens!” reactions from staff. This is one.)

Me: “Hi, I’d like to get a refill on [Medication].”

Pharmacist: *in trepidation* “Uhh… let me just check if we have your three-months’ refill.”

Me: “No worries.”

Pharmacist: *sounding even more worried* “Ma’am, I am so sorry, but it doesn’t appear we have the full supply. When do you need them by?”

Me: “I’m out as of tomorrow, but that’s no problem; it wouldn’t be the first time I get a week’s supply and come back for more when you have it.”

Pharmacist: “I can try calling another… Do you think… Wait, what? Really?”

Me: “Sure. Happens at least half the time. You only have a few customers on this medication and apparently we all like to refill at about the same time.”

Pharmacist: “And you’re not… You’re okay?”

Me: *laughing* “I’m not cranky-customer-type. My goal is never to be the one you go home complaining about!”

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, you are my favourite customer today. Possibly this month.”

[florida80]

Deleted Defeated
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 25, 2017
(It’s already been a long day as I answer a patient’s phone call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store] pharmacy; how can I help you?”

Female Customer: “I want you to delete [medication] from my file! I don’t want it to ever be filled there again. I get my medications in the mail now, and I don’t want you to screw it up.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, I’ll leave it here in your profile but we won’t fill it. We will only fill it if you ask us to.”

Female Customer: “No, I want it deleted!”

Me: “Okay, I will delete it.”

(I don’t delete it because patients who get their medications in the mail always run into a problem sooner or later and need to get a few pills from us until their order arrives from the mail.)

Female Customer: “Great! Oh, and can you fill [supposedly deleted medication] for a few tablets? My mail order will be late this month.”

[florida80]

Suffering From Prescription Dysfunction
PHARMACY | RIGHT | MARCH 15, 2017
(I am helping a customer whose prescription for Cialis 20mg has expired. The customer only has Cialis 5mg still on file, which someone has filled for him instead of the 20mg.)

Me: “Were you wanting to wait until your doctor faxed back about the 20mg Cialis?”

Customer: “No, I’ll just pop four of the 5mg. Although I really want the 20mg ones since they do the work!”

Me: “Do you only take one of the 20mg Cialis?”

Customer: “OH, YA! Except if I’m at a crazy party, and then I pop a few.”

Me: “…”

[florida80]

Like They Were Born Yesterday
PHARMACY | WORKING | FEBRUARY 26, 2017
(I go to the pharmacy I have been going to for the last three years. I am on their computer system, which is listed by name and birthdate. My doctor’s office tells me to pick up my prescription. I usually don’t have any problems.)

Me: “Hello, I have a prescription for myself. My name is [First Name] [Last Name] and my birthday is January 20, 195X.”

Clerk: “Okay, what’s your name?”

Me: “[First Name] [Last Name].”

Clerk: “How do you spell your last name?”

Me: *spells last name*

Clerk: “Your birthdate?”

Me: “January 20, 195X.”

Clerk: “January 15, 195X?”

Me: “January 20.”

Clerk: “January 15?”

Me: “No, January 20.”

Clerk: “January 15?”

Me: “January 20. Two-Zero. Twenty.”

Clerk: “Oh, I keep on thinking you said fifteen. Okay, January 20, 2015?”

Me: “Do I look one year old to you?”

[florida80]

It’s Going To Be One Of Those Months
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 25, 2017
(I work in a dispensary (basically a pharmacy) and we’re only allowed to give out one month’s supply of medication at any given time. This isn’t by our choice; it’s a standard set by the board. One patient comes in to get her medication. I go and get her prescription and she pays when this happens:)

Patient: “Excuse me, this is only a month’s supply. The doctor told me I was on a three month course.”

Me: “Yes, that’s right. We’re only allowed to give out a month’s worth of medication at a time.”

Patient: “But the doctor told me I was on this for three months.”

(At this point, one of the older dispensers behind me chimes in.)

Colleague: “It’s a three month course, meaning that you’re on that medication for three months, but we can only give out one month at a time.”

Patient: “Can I speak to the doctor about this?”

Colleague: “You could but this isn’t a standard set by us. It’s a nation-wide standard.”

Patient: “So I have to come in once a month and pay?!”

Colleague: “Yes.”

Patient: “This is extortion! I would like a complaint form!”

(After about another five minutes of this back and forth, the patient finally went on her way. Do you know what our ‘extortionate’ price is for keeping people alive? £8.05.)

[florida80]

Numb Thumb Dum Dum
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 9, 2017
(A customer comes into the pharmacy and approaches the back desk.)

Pharmacist: “Good afternoon. How can I help you?”

(The customer raises their hand and shows the pharmacist their hand, their thumb is blue and turning a dark colour.)

Customer: “Oh, hi. The other day I accidentally smacked my thumb with a hammer and it’s gone blue and I can’t feel anything… Should I go see a doctor?”

[florida80]

That Request Doesn’t Have A Leg To Stand On
PHARMACY | WORKING | JANUARY 13, 2017
(A customer had called our store about a discrepancy with a price from her insurance. The pharmacist thinks he found the issue and is relaying the information to the customer.)

Pharmacist: “All right, cross your fingers and toes and hope that this works!”

(I didn’t think much of it and went back to my work. When he hangs up, he starts laughing.)

Me: “What’s up?”

Pharmacist: “You know the customer I was on the phone with? Mrs. [Name]?”

Me: “Yeah?”

Pharmacist: “I told her to cross her fingers and toes that her insurance would work.”

Me: “What about it?”

Pharmacist: “I just remembered she doesn’t have legs!”

[florida80]

Splitting Hairs Over The Definition
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 11, 2017
Customer: “I have a question about the dry shampoo. It says here on the can that it’s flammable. Does that mean if I spray too much on my hair and go out in the sun my hair will catch fire?”

(Speechless, not sure if she was joking, I quickly reassured her that the flammable message was about leaving the actual can near heat, and her hair wouldn’t catch fire when she went out into the sun.)

[florida80]

Acting Like She Was Born Yesterday
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 3, 2017
(I’m waiting in line at the pharmacy; there’s one other gentleman in front of me, and then a fairly stereotypical “little old lady” up at the counter. I try not to judge, but…)

Lady: “I’m sorry, I just don’t understand.”

Pharmacist: “I just need you to give me your birth date for the system.”

Lady: “But those are my pills.”

Pharmacist: “I know, but I need to be able to type your birth date into the computer.”

Lady: “I don’t understand. I gave you my name.”

Pharmacist: “Yes, ma’am, but I need both your name AND your birth date.”

Lady: “Do I look like I’m too young to get pills?”

Pharmacist: “It’s not how old you are, ma’am. We just need the confirmation so we don’t give the wrong pills to the wrong person.”

Lady: “But they’re MY pills.”

Pharmacist: “Yes, ma’am. Please, just tell me the month and day you were born on…”

(This goes in a loop for about seven minutes, with the line getting longer and longer. Finally she relents and gives her birthdate… And takes another ten minutes trying to sort out how to use the credit card reader, refusing to let either the pharmacist or anyone else help her. Finally, she gets done, shuffles away, and the gentleman in front of me is called up.)

Man: “I’m picking up for [Man], my birthday is [Date], my phone number is [Number], my address is [Address], my first born’s name is [Son], and you can HAVE him if it speeds this up!”

(The rest of us, including the pharmacist, burst out laughing!)

[florida80]

The Grinch Who Can’t Accept Checks
PHARMACY, RETAIL | RIGHT | DECEMBER 27, 2016
(It’s Christmas Day, and I work at a pharmacy retail store that is part of a very large chain. We are a 24 hour store, and we don’t close on Christmas, so we’re usually the only place open. Christmas Day sales are mostly batteries and last minute gift cards, and there’s been a steady stream of customers all morning. During a lull, an older woman walks in.)

Woman: “Hello! I would like to purchase six [Store] gift cards, each one for $10.”

Me: “Okay!”

(I grab the gift cards from next to the till, and count them quickly to make sure I have the right amount.)

Woman: “Now, should I make this out to [Store]?”

(At this point, I realize that she’s writing a check, which my register won’t let me accept as payment for gift cards, so I speak up.)

Me: “Oh, unfortunately, I can’t take a check.”

Woman: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Yeah, sorry, it’s a store policy. [Chain Store #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] and [Chain Store #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] don’t either. I can take cash, credit, or debit, but that’s it.”

Woman: “Well, I don’t have a debit card, and I don’t have any cash!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I still can’t accept a check.”

Woman: “You, young man, have just ruined Christmas!”

(I told my manager about what the customer said, and was known as “The Grinch” for the rest of the holiday season!)

[florida80]

Google: Old School
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 14, 2016
(I’m a pharmacy technician. One day I’m working the phones when I get this interesting call. I pick up and it’s an elderly woman on the other end.)

Me: “[Company], [My Name] speaking. How can I help?”

Customer: “Yes, do you do pneumonia vaccines?”

Me: “Actually we do. Did you want to come in for one?”

Customer: “How many types do you have?”

Me: “There’s two different vaccines, [Vaccine #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ], and [Vaccine #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ]. They’re good for about five years each.”

Customer: “Okay, and how do you spell that?”

Me: *confused* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “How do you spell the vaccine names?”

(I spell out the vaccine names for her.)

Customer: “So do I add pneumonia after the name of the vaccine?”

Me: *finally putting together that she’s trying to type in the names for an Internet search* “No, just the names should be fine.”

Customer: “Okay, thank you!”

Me: “No problem. Have a good day now.”

Coworker: “What was that about?”

Me: “I think I just did an over-the-phone Google search.”

[florida80]

Suddenly Thankful For Health Insurance
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 13, 2016
(I work as a pharmacist in a pharmacy inside a department store. This takes place on Black Friday and the entire store has massive sales going on; however, the pharmacy is just running under normal business hours. This is the first but not last occurrence this entire day.)

Patient: “You guys are open today?”

Me: “Yes, we are. Just normal hours today, though.”

Patient: “So that means I get my prescriptions half off, right?”

Me: “No, that’s not how it works.”

Patient: “But the entire store is on sale. You guys should be, too!”

Me: “Well, there’s no Black Friday in the pharmacy.”

Patient: “YOU SHOULD!”

Me: “Tell you what; I can give you 30% off the cash price of your prescription. I can’t discount insurance, but I can work with the cash price. Just don’t tell anyone I’m doing this.”

Patient: “Sure!”

Me: “Okay, the cost of your prescription with the discount is… [price around $3000].”

Patient: “What?! I pay $5 normally!”

Me: “Well, that’s the cost of the prescription, so take it or leave it.”

[florida80]

Your Pick’N’Mix Selection Is Depressing
PHARMACY | WORKING | NOVEMBER 25, 2016
(I’m in the pharmacy waiting to pick up my regular prescription, which is two-month’s worth of anti-depressant. Unfortunately, the pharmacy only has one box left of my dosage that day, so I’m about to ask for a ticket to come back tomorrow to finish my order, when the woman serving me – not the chemist – leaves me dumbfounded. )

Worker: “Oh, we only have one box left; do you just want to try something else?”

Me: *after a couple of stunned seconds* “Um, what?”

Worker: “Since we only have one box left, do you want to just take something else?”

Me: *after another few seconds of staring blankly at her* “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I can’t just mix and match anti-depressants like that. Doesn’t sound like a good idea.”

Worker: “Oh. Right, then.”

(I was still stunned when the actual chemist came over to give me my medication and the ticket to pick up my other box I was owed. You would think an employee handling medication would be aware switching up and mixing anti-depressants like that would do more harm than good!)

[florida80]

Minimum Wage Gets Minimum Recognition
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 18, 2016
(A man has come to the registers and is buying some travel sized shampoos.)

Customer: “I’m going overseas for a while. Thought I’d stock up.”

Me: “Oh, that’s exciting. Where are you heading?”

Customer: “India, Spain, and then Morocco for a year. It should be good.”

Me: “I’m so jealous! I’d love to go travelling when I can find the money.”

Customer: “You already have the money. You’re just spending it on other things.”

Me: *deadpan* “Yes, like rent. And food.”

(The man didn’t seem to comprehend that not everyone can afford to go overseas at all, much less for a year!)

[florida80]

About To Be Charged For (Theft) Of Battery
PHARMACY, RETAIL | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 16, 2016
(A male customer comes in, walks up to the counter, and puts a package of batteries on the counter.)

Customer: “I want to return these.”

Me: “May I have your receipt, please?”

Customer: “I don’t have a receipt.”

Me: “Then I will need a government issued ID.”

Customer: “I have a college ID.”

Me: “I am sorry, sir. It must be a valid government issued ID.”

(He hands me the college ID.)

Me: “I am sorry, sir. This ID isn’t government issued.”

Customer: “Fine, then I won’t return ’em. Stupidest f****** rule ever.”

(The customer proceeds to wander around the store looking around, and then returns to the front counter with his hands empty.)

Customer: “I lost my batteries.”

Me: “Okay, sir, I can have an employee help you look for them.”

(I wave an employee over and assign him to help the customer look for the batteries. They head out to the floor to look. The customer selects a few items as he is looking around. Then all of a sudden, with his hands full, he casually walks right past the cashier and out the front door. I walk up to the doorway and yell.)

Me: “Sir, you need to come back in and pay for those items.”

Customer: “Why? You stole my d*** batteries!”

(I watch him get in his car. I get the license plate number and call the police and give them a general direction the customer headed. The police call me back fifteen minutes later.)

Officer: “We caught the suspect. He was trying to return the items you described as stolen to the [Drugstore] across the street from you.”

Me: “What?! Wow! Okay … uh… hmm.”

Officer: “Yeah, I know. Sometimes I can’t wrap my mind around how some people can be so stupid either.”

[florida80]

Card Barred
PHARMACY | WORKING | NOVEMBER 5, 2016
Clerk #1: “Do you have a loyalty card?”

Me: “No, I lost it.”

Clerk #1: *continues ringing up items* “This is on sale. If you’d had your card, you could have had the discount. Ooh, this one would have been a BIG discount if you’d had a card.”

Me: “Could you use the store’s courtesy card?”

Clerk #1: “No, we don’t do that anymore.”

Me: “Well, would it be possible for me to get a new card?”

Clerk #1: “No, we don’t do that either.”

Me: “Really? No customers can’t get a new card anymore.”

Clerk #1: “Nope.” *continues ringing up items, STILL commenting on how much money I could have saved if I’d had my card*

Me: *to different check-out clerk, a few minutes later* “Is it true that [Company] doesn’t allow customers to apply for new cards anymore?”

Clerk #2: “Huh? What? You can have a new card anytime you want. Do you want one right now?”

[florida80]

Refuses To Shift The Blame
PHARMACY, RETAIL | WORKING | AUGUST 8, 2016
(We recently get a new scheduling manager that is horrible about communicating with everyone and often changes the schedule at the drop of a hat. Leading up the Black Friday, I’ve been checking the upcoming schedule multiple times every day to insure I am off both Thanksgiving and Black Friday and I indeed am. I even call on Thanksgiving to insure that I am off on Black Friday and again it is confirmed. While out with my family I get a call from the scheduling manager.)

Me: “Hello?”

Scheduling Manager: “[My Name], where are you?”

Me: “With my family.”

Scheduling Manager: “You’re supposed to be here!”

Me: “No, I’m not. I checked all last week and everyday and even called yesterday to make sure, [Scheduling Manager]. My name was not down.”

Scheduling Manager: “Well, you need to come in.”

Me: “No.” *hangs up*

Scheduling Manager: *calls me a few more times which I ignore then texts me* “Please, you need to come in. I’m sorry for the confusion. I’ll have to work a 13-hour shift if you don’t.”

Me: *texts back* “I am not coming in. I was not on the schedule for today. Stop texting me.”

Scheduling Manager: *texts* “Please!”

Me: *texts* “No.” *turns off phone*

(I turned my phone back on after I got back home. I had numerous messages from her. I complained to the manager above her who said she would sort it out. The scheduling manager left two months later.)

[florida80]

Refuses To Shift The Blame
PHARMACY, RETAIL | WORKING | AUGUST 8, 2016
(We recently get a new scheduling manager that is horrible about communicating with everyone and often changes the schedule at the drop of a hat. Leading up the Black Friday, I’ve been checking the upcoming schedule multiple times every day to insure I am off both Thanksgiving and Black Friday and I indeed am. I even call on Thanksgiving to insure that I am off on Black Friday and again it is confirmed. While out with my family I get a call from the scheduling manager.)

Me: “Hello?”

Scheduling Manager: “[My Name], where are you?”

Me: “With my family.”

Scheduling Manager: “You’re supposed to be here!”

Me: “No, I’m not. I checked all last week and everyday and even called yesterday to make sure, [Scheduling Manager]. My name was not down.”

Scheduling Manager: “Well, you need to come in.”

Me: “No.” *hangs up*

Scheduling Manager: *calls me a few more times which I ignore then texts me* “Please, you need to come in. I’m sorry for the confusion. I’ll have to work a 13-hour shift if you don’t.”

Me: *texts back* “I am not coming in. I was not on the schedule for today. Stop texting me.”

Scheduling Manager: *texts* “Please!”

Me: *texts* “No.” *turns off phone*

(I turned my phone back on after I got back home. I had numerous messages from her. I complained to the manager above her who said she would sort it out. The scheduling manager left two months later.)

[florida80]

Refuses To Shift The Blame
PHARMACY, RETAIL | WORKING | AUGUST 8, 2016
(We recently get a new scheduling manager that is horrible about communicating with everyone and often changes the schedule at the drop of a hat. Leading up the Black Friday, I’ve been checking the upcoming schedule multiple times every day to insure I am off both Thanksgiving and Black Friday and I indeed am. I even call on Thanksgiving to insure that I am off on Black Friday and again it is confirmed. While out with my family I get a call from the scheduling manager.)

Me: “Hello?”

Scheduling Manager: “[My Name], where are you?”

Me: “With my family.”

Scheduling Manager: “You’re supposed to be here!”

Me: “No, I’m not. I checked all last week and everyday and even called yesterday to make sure, [Scheduling Manager]. My name was not down.”

Scheduling Manager: “Well, you need to come in.”

Me: “No.” *hangs up*

Scheduling Manager: *calls me a few more times which I ignore then texts me* “Please, you need to come in. I’m sorry for the confusion. I’ll have to work a 13-hour shift if you don’t.”

Me: *texts back* “I am not coming in. I was not on the schedule for today. Stop texting me.”

Scheduling Manager: *texts* “Please!”

Me: *texts* “No.” *turns off phone*

(I turned my phone back on after I got back home. I had numerous messages from her. I complained to the manager above her who said she would sort it out. The scheduling manager left two months later.)

[florida80]

Refuses To Shift The Blame
PHARMACY, RETAIL | WORKING | AUGUST 8, 2016
(We recently get a new scheduling manager that is horrible about communicating with everyone and often changes the schedule at the drop of a hat. Leading up the Black Friday, I’ve been checking the upcoming schedule multiple times every day to insure I am off both Thanksgiving and Black Friday and I indeed am. I even call on Thanksgiving to insure that I am off on Black Friday and again it is confirmed. While out with my family I get a call from the scheduling manager.)

Me: “Hello?”

Scheduling Manager: “[My Name], where are you?”

Me: “With my family.”

Scheduling Manager: “You’re supposed to be here!”

Me: “No, I’m not. I checked all last week and everyday and even called yesterday to make sure, [Scheduling Manager]. My name was not down.”

Scheduling Manager: “Well, you need to come in.”

Me: “No.” *hangs up*

Scheduling Manager: *calls me a few more times which I ignore then texts me* “Please, you need to come in. I’m sorry for the confusion. I’ll have to work a 13-hour shift if you don’t.”

Me: *texts back* “I am not coming in. I was not on the schedule for today. Stop texting me.”

Scheduling Manager: *texts* “Please!”

Me: *texts* “No.” *turns off phone*

(I turned my phone back on after I got back home. I had numerous messages from her. I complained to the manager above her who said she would sort it out. The scheduling manager left two months later.)

[florida80]

Don’t Grit Your Teeth To This
ASSISTED LIVING, GOLDEN YEARS, SWEDEN | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 18, 2019
(I am helping an old lady getting ready for bed one evening at the nursing home. A part of that includes assisting her with brushing her teeth. Some old people have dentures, and I can’t remember whether this lady has or not.)

Me: “Do you have your own teeth?”

Resident: “Yes, I do.”

Me: “Okay, then, here’s your toothbrush.”

(The lady then pops out her dentures.)

Me: “I thought you had your own teeth?”

Resident: “I do. I bought and paid for them myself.”

[florida80]

Smoking? There’s An App For That
BAD BEHAVIOR, HOSPITAL, KANSAS, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 17, 2019
(I am in the hospital after falling down a flight of stairs. My ankle is fractured.)

Me: “Excuse me. Can you please hand me my phone?”

Nurse: “No.”

Me: “What? Why not?”

Nurse: *huffy* “Well, it says on your chart that you’re a smoker. I’m not going to give you your phone so you can buy more cigarettes.”

Me: “I wasn’t planning on buying anything; I wanted to update my family and friends.”

Nurse: “I don’t believe you. I know your kind. You think you’re special because you destroy your body with drugs. I’m not letting you buy drugs!”

Me: “All right, let’s see what a patient advocate thinks about what you just said.”

Nurse: *goes pale and hands me my phone*

(Later, when I told my dad about it, he told the doctor, who rolled his eyes and said we weren’t the first to complain.)

[florida80]

Choked By Your Own Doctor
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, IOWA, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 16, 2019
(I’ve had serious sinus/throat/ear problems for most of my life, along with pretty severe anxiety disorder; it’s so bad I was put on anti-anxiety meds at eight years old. Unfortunately, since I have an anxiety disorder, most of my problems have been brushed off as panic until they’re either too late to fix properly or until I fight with the doctors. I miss a pretty good bit of school because my ears hurt or I feel like I am choking, and I will go to the doctor each time. Each time, the pediatrician tells me, “It’s just a viral infection,” or, “It’s just your anxiety acting up.”)

Me: “I really don’t think this is viral; I’ve been coming in every month or so for two years or so.”

Doctor: “It’s just viral. I think you just like getting out of school, too.” *nudge nudge wink wink*

Me: “Uh, no. My grades are taking a hit. I can barely breathe and I feel like I’m choking constantly. This is not a panic thing, and it’s obviously not viral; otherwise, it wouldn’t always come back. Maybe you should do your job and actually figure out what’s wrong?”

Mom: *staring in shock because I’m not one to smart off*

Doctor: “If you can smart off like that, then you don’t need to see a pediatrician any more!”

(My mom schedules an appointment at a different doctor’s office, with a different doctor. I’m freaking out because I’ve never seen another doctor before in my fifteen years and many, MANY doctors appointments.)

New Doctor: *looks in my mouth* “Oh, my God! Your tonsils are huge. Like, can you breathe at all?”

Me: “No, not really. I always feel like I’m choking.”

New Doctor: “These have to come out.”

(So, I got my tonsils out, along with my adenoids. The surgeon told me they were the biggest he’d ever seen. I no longer feel like I’m being choked to death constantly. But having your tonsils pulled out at sixteen sucks.)

[florida80]

With So Many Fillings He Has Become Very Dense
DENTIST, JERK, MICHIGAN, PATIENTS, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 15, 2019
Patient: “Why do I need an x-ray?”

Me: “To check for problems [Doctor] might have missed.”

Patient: “Problems like what?”

Me: “Cavities between your teeth and under your fillings, and gum disease.”

Patient: “If [Doctor]’s eyesight is so bad that he can’t even see cavities anymore, why is he still a dentist?”

Me: “There is nothing wrong with [Doctor]’s eyesight, sir. It would be impossible for anyone to look underneath fillings and in between your teeth.”

Patient: “So, I just let him poke around my mouth for nothing? Why didn’t you tell me that right away? I would have skipped the exam and just done the x-ray. Now I need to pay for something that is completely useless. You are ripping me off. I’ll get a second opinion.”

Me: “You are welcome to do that. But they’ll want to do an exam, as well.”

Patient: “I’ll tell them that you already did.”

Me: “They’ll still want to actually look at your teeth. Believe me.”

Patient: “So, you are trying to tell me that they’ll rip me off, too?”

Me: “Sir, an x-ray is more expensive than an exam.”

Patient: “Oh, if you do the x-ray, can I take that to my second opinion dentist?”

Me: “Yes.”

Patient: “So, I’m right. The exam is useless.”

Me: “Do you want an x-ray or not now?”

Patient: “Do I get a refund if you don’t find anything?”

Me: “No, you can’t get a refund.”

Patient: “You people are so greedy.”

Me: *speechless*

[florida80]

A Cyst-emic Problem In Healthcare
BAD BEHAVIOR, BIGOTRY, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, MEDICAL OFFICE, MINNESOTA, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 14, 2019
(I get fed up with my old doctor refusing to do anything other than tell me to “just lose some weight” and I go to a new clinic.)

Doctor: “I see you changed practices. Do you have any medical files with you or are they sending them over?”

Me: “They might send them over, but they’re going to be next to empty and claim I’m only overweight. My last doctor didn’t pay any attention to any of the symptoms I would tell him about. If it doesn’t happen in front of him he thinks it doesn’t happen ever, and all he would ever tell me is that I need to lose weight. I know I need to, but I’ve honestly been dieting and exercising and nothing has happened. I’ve had hormone problems my entire life, but he just kept telling me to eat better.”

Doctor: “That sounds… bad. Okay, tell me what’s going on with your hormones, and I’ll have a nurse come in and draw your blood for labs. You also seem to have a small lump on your neck.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m prone to cysts. I was going to get it looked at if it didn’t go away. Getting them drained isn’t pleasant, so I wait and see if they take care of themselves before I go in.”

Doctor: “I’ll take a look at it, anyway. You’re already here, might as well.”

(I leave the appointment satisfied that the doctor didn’t mention my weight at all except to ask if I’ve noticed any fluctuation with it. A week later, the doctor calls me back in.)

Doctor: “I ran your labs and, like I thought, you also high levels of testosterone. You have something called–“

Me: “Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome or PCOS?”

Doctor: “Exactly.”

Me: “I asked my old doctor about that years ago since I’m prone to getting cysts on my ovaries, but he never tested me for it.”

Doctor: “Well, I did, and you definitely have it. You also seem to have some thyroid problems, and I’d like for you to get a biopsy of the lump on your neck.”

Me: “Really?”

Doctor: “Yes, since I saw you last week, it’s gotten bigger, and I don’t think it’s a cyst.”

(It wasn’t. It was a cancerous tumor on my thyroid. When the surgeon opened me up to remove it, cancer had already spread to the surrounding lymph nodes, which then also had to be removed. After some radiation and chemo, I’m in remission, but if I had stayed with the old fat-shaming doctor, I’d be dead. Thankfully, that doctor retired and no longer “treats” patients.)

[florida80]

What A Diabeetus, Part 10
JERK, OPTOMETRIST/OPTICIAN, PATIENTS, RECEPTION, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 13, 2019
(I work as a receptionist and an assistant for an optometrist. Multiple patients are very ignorant about optometry; they say they need to update the “medicine” in their glasses or tell me I shouldn’t set their glasses down a certain way because the “medicine will drain out,” among other similar statements. Some people just don’t understand that it is the way lenses are shaped and that fixes their vision, not an actual medication. But some people top the cake. This patient has insurance.)

Patient: *answering my questions* “Yeah, I do have diabetes, but what does that matter? I’m just getting my eyes checked for glasses!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I understand. However, if your sugar levels aren’t stable it can cause a drastic change in your prescription. For that reason, since you have stated you are almost never stable, the doctor may find it in your best interest to check you and have you come back in a couple of weeks, at no extra charge, to make sure the prescription does not fluctuate before finalizing it. This is to ensure you do not purchase lenses that may not work in a few weeks. However, the doctor will discuss this further with you in the exam room to see if this applies to you or not.”

Patient: “You saw my [relative] a few months ago and this wasn’t an issue! You’re just trying to scam me! Her blood sugar is never stable, either!”

Me: “Ma’am, like I stated, it is truly up to the doctor, and you may not have to come back. Also, the followup would not charge you any extra.”

Patient: “Fine. I don’t want to be seen. I’ll go somewhere that knows what they are doing! You just didn’t bother with all of this with [relative] because she was a cash payment!”

Me: “No, ma’am, that is certainly not the case. Each patient is different. In this case, I will guess that the doctor was okay with finalizing her prescription based on the exam, and that just might be your case, as well. I am just informing you of the possible outcomes. Also–“

Patient: *cutting me off* “NO! I DO NOT WANT TO BE SEEN! I NEED MY EXAM. TODAY! NOT IN A FEW WEEKS! I’M DONE WITH THIS AND I’M LEAVING!”

(The patient storms out of the office. The doctor has just finished the exam before her.)

Doctor: “Did you mention that she could possibly get it today, but I’d have to see her first?”

Me: “Yes, sir, but she seems to think we were trying to scam her because her [relative] got hers the same day, and since she’s using insurance, unlike her [relative], we’re trying to get more out of her and take advantage. I remember her [relative]’s name. I’ll pull her chart…”

(A few minutes pass as we’re looking over the relative’s chart.)

Me: “Huh… [Relative] said nothing about being diabetic or unstable with her blood sugar.”

Doctor: “Of freaking course. Did you get a chance to tell her we get paid more from insurance versus cash pay? So really, [Relative] got the better deal?”

Me: “Well, I tried, but she stormed out calling me a scammer and a dumba** before I could.”

(Yeah, our cash price can range from $20-80 LESS than what insurance pays us. It’s fun working in healthcare! I mean, we’re only there to write prescriptions and not check anything else, right? Trust me, your optometrist or ophthalmologist checks A LOT more than just your prescription. Gets your eyes checked, people, even if you don’t need correction. Sometimes health issues pop up with no signs!)

[florida80]

Eye Have No Idea What You’re Saying
OPTOMETRIST/OPTICIAN, PATIENTS, RECEPTION, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 12, 2019
(I work as a receptionist and an assistant for an optometrist. I am discussing the exam costs with a patient who has no insurance.)

Patient: “What?! Why does an exam cost that much just to get a prescription?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, my doctor also checks the health of your eyes, not just giving a prescription.”

Patient: “That’s just stupid. Eyes are always healthy unless you need to see better!”

[florida80]

The Nutty Doctor
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, SWEDEN | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 11, 2019
(A couple of years ago, I started having really low blood sugar levels. It turned out that I needed surgery but I could not get it right away. To try to help me during the wait, my endocrinologist referred me to a dietician so see if there were some diet changes I could do to reduce the risk of going so low I passed out. I am very allergic to nuts. I go to the dietician and she looks at my list of food that I have eaten for the last three days and asks if I have any allergies, which I tell her about.)

Doctor: “You need to eat a snack in the afternoon that keeps the blood sugar levels up better. A handful of nuts is good.”

Me: “I am allergic to nuts.”

Doctor: “So, as I was saying. You need to eat at least 60g for it to be good for you.”

Me: “Still can’t eat nuts. Allergy…”

Doctor: “But nuts are good for you.”

Me: “They might be good for other people, but I am allergic to nuts. Is there really nothing to replace them with?”

Doctor: “Nuts are good for everybody. They help stabilize the blood sugar.”

Me: “One more time, I am allergic to nuts. I will die if I eat them. I can’t have nuts.”

Doctor: “I don’t know why you came here if you don’t allow me to help you.”

Me: “I want help. I just can’t eat nuts. Are there any other foods that I can have as a snack?”

Doctor: “I recommend at least 60 grams of nuts as a snack.”

Me: “Thanks for your time. I’ll see myself out.”

[florida80]

Getting Very Anal About The Probing Questions
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NEBRASKA, NON-DIALOGUE, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 10, 2019
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

In 2013, at the age of 25, I begin to have tonic-clonic seizures. Prior to this, I have never experienced any kind of seizure. As the doctors are trying to understand what’s going on with me, they recommend an MRI to see if there are any physical indications in my brain as to what’s going on. Before the referral is made, the doctor asks if I have any metal in my body and I tell them no, and they note it in my chart. They tell me not to wear any jewelry when I go to have the MRI.

I go to the MRI clinic and throughout the paperwork process, I am asked several times if I have any metal in my body. I write “no” on all the paperwork and confirm this verbally with the intake person. I then speak with the nurse who takes me back to where the MRI is, and she asks me a couple of times if I have metal in me, as well. I tell her no and that I didn’t wear any jewelry. She writes that down and leaves me to change into clothing with nothing metal in it and to hang out in the room until the tech can come in and prep the machine.

After about five minutes, the tech comes in and begins prepping everything. “Before you lay down, I need to ask if you have any metal in or on your body.”

I am profoundly tired, in a lot of pain from the seizures, and scared I have a brain tumor, and so my coping mechanism kicks in. “Oh, no, just the implant the alien put in me when I was taken up on the mothership,” I say, as brightly as possible.

She looks at me quizzically and I repeat myself, smiling to let her know I’m kidding. She’s silent for a beat and then just sighs and tells me to get on the table. No chill at all.

I understand why they have to ask about metal due to the intense magnetism, but jeez, look at the charts, people! I don’t think I need to answer this question twelve times in the span of 48 hours.

Also, I don’t have a tumor, and my implant didn’t show up in the scan!

[florida80]

Piddle Me This
BAD BEHAVIOR, CONNECTICUT, PETS & ANIMALS, REVOLTING, USA, VET | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 9, 2019
(I work at a very busy veterinary hospital, and due to the volume of clients and the fact that we are near a highway, we have a “dogs on leashes, cats in carriers” rule to keep everyone safe. People often carry in small dogs, though, and today a woman sets her puppy down and lets it run around the lobby.)

Coworker: “Hi! I’m sorry, but could you please pick your puppy up? She’s very cute, but sometimes we get dogs in that don’t like other dogs.”

Woman: *scoffs* “I don’t let her run around. She had to pee, and it was either on me or on your floor.”

(Outside in the big grassy areas dividing the parking lot was, apparently, not an option. We get animals that piddle on the floor for a variety of reasons throughout the day, but I don’t think it’s ever been quite THIS intentional.)

[florida80]

Ovaries: The Biggest Threat To A Medical Degree
AUSTRALIA, BIGOTRY, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 8, 2019
(I am in a waiting room at the medical centre. A female doctor calls a man’s name.)

Male Patient: *to receptionist* “Hey, that’s a woman doctor!”

Receptionist: “Yes, and it’s her first day, so we’re letting her practice on you.”

Male Patient: “Hmph. I didn’t come here for no woman doctor.” *leaves*

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Bloodshot
HOSPITAL, NORTH CAROLINA, NURSES, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 7, 2019
(I’m pregnant with my daughter and at the hospital to have labor induced. The nurse is going over final checks and running down how the birthing is going to — ideally — go.)

Nurse: “We may need to give you a blood transfusion if you bleed too much. Let me explain the benefits–”

Me: “Approved. B+.”

Nurse: “Um… Okay… Sign this form.”

(We go through some other routine stuff and get to treating the baby after she’s born.)

Nurse: “It’s standard to give a Hep B and Vitamin K shot to the baby. You don’t have to, of course, but the benefits are…”

Me: “Do it. All the shots.”

Nurse: “Oh, thank God!”

(She caught herself and apologized for her breach of bedside manner. We have a few religious sects in the area that are anti-transfusion and anti-vax, so I can imagine the pushback she got day-to-day. I laughed and explained that we are a “science” family and the awkwardness melted away. The rest of the checks and forms were done relatively quickly now that the nurse knew she didn’t have to sell me on everything. The birth went mostly smoothly and my daughter is now a healthy fifteen-month-old.)

[florida80]

Happens All The Bloody Time
BLOOD DONATION, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HEALTH & BODY, USA, WASHINGTON | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 5, 2019
(I donate blood about every two months, provided that I’m healthy enough to do so. One thing the blood bank screens for is anemia: my hematocrit has to be 38 or higher to donate and not become anemic from it. Hematocrit in the low 30s is anemic; around mid-20s you’d probably need a transfusion yourself. But some time in the last eight weeks, the blood bank switched to testing hemoglobin instead, the minimum donation number for which is 12.5. I didn’t know it was a new test.)

Phlebotomist: “Okay, your temperature, blood pressure, and pulse look good. Let’s test your iron.” *pricks my finger, takes a few drops of blood, and puts them in the tester* “You’re testing at 12.6.”

Me: “My hematocrit is 12.6? Should I go to the hospital?”

Phlebotomist: “What? Why? Oh! No, your hemoglobin is 12.6, which for our purposes is equivalent to a 39 hematocrit. You’re fine to donate. If you had a 12.6 hematocrit, you’d be unconscious at least. I’d be calling an ambulance… or a hearse.”

[florida80]

They’ll Be Tongue-Wagging About This For A While
DENTIST, PATIENTS, SILLY, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 3, 2019
(It’s my first visit to the dentist in over ten years, and I tell the doctor that. What she doesn’t know is that I’m very nervous. The last time I was at a dentist, I was 15 and the doctor didn’t put in any anesthesia and drilled into my tooth. It was excruciating and I was crying a lot, and he didn’t seem to care. In fact, he seemed used to crying in his office. Anyway, I decide to bite the bullet and go for a checkup with a woman doctor, hoping she’ll be more sensitive. She finds three cavities, much to my dismay. She actually uses novocaine, and my gum is all properly numbed. However, I suffer from anxiety, so when she’s drilling my tooth, I can’t help but picture her slipping and drilling into my TONGUE, instead. This gives my tongue a mind of its own. It starts trying to escape, wiggling all about, trying to pull itself free and out! I can feel it moving, but the harder I try to stop it — since I don’t want to weird her out — the more it tries. Finally, she stops.)

Doctor: “You don’t have to wiggle your tongue around that much you know. Just try to keep it still.”

Me: “Sorry. I’ll try.”

(And I did, but I could still feel it moving. Finally, she was done and I zipped out of there to pay. I could tell she was relieved, too, and probably told her husband about my crazy tongue!)

[florida80]

A Sick Fantasy
AUSTRALIA, CHILDREN, COWORKERS, DAYCARE, NEW SOUTH WALES, REVOLTING | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 1, 2019
(I work in a childcare centre. Every ten minutes we have to check on the sleeping children in the nursery to make sure they are still alive and breathing. A coworker who is quiet, sweet, and very unsure of herself does the check and comes out of one of the cot rooms to say:)

Coworker: “[Child] has thrown up a little.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Do you want to clean it up, or do the washing up I was about to do and let me clean it up?”

Coworker: “Ah, I’d like to do the washing up if you don’t mind.”

Me: “Sure thing.”

(I go grab what I will need –gloves, washcloths, bag for clothes, etc. — and walk into the room. The child has projectile vomited in her sleep; it is EVERYWHERE and the child is still asleep. The sheets need to be thrown out, the cot has to be disinfected, and the child needs a bath — it is in her hair and in her socks. I walk up to that coworker later.)

Me: “Um, [Coworker]…”

Coworker: “Yes?”

Me: “You led me down a bit of a fantasy there by saying it was a little bit of vomit.”

(She and the other coworkers in the staff room lost it with laughter.)

[florida80]

Infarction Infraction
AMUSEMENT PARK, BAD BEHAVIOR, FLORIDA, NURSES, ORLANDO, STRANGERS, USA | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 29, 2019
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(I am on vacation with my family, and my fianceé and I have gone to one of several theme parks in the area. I have a medical condition that can cause severe heart palpitations, which can cause me to lose consciousness for a few minutes. We are standing in line for a ride when I begin to feel off; I know I’m about to have a bad episode and I tell my fianceé that I need to sit down. She understands and helps me get out of line, but we don’t make it far before I lose consciousness. As I am taller than she is — I’m 6’4” and she is 5’3” — she is unable to help me once I’m out and I fall to the ground. I wake up a few minutes later to the sound of my fianceé arguing with someone I don’t know.)

Fiancé: “Stop touching him like that! He doesn’t need CPR!”

Woman: “Of course he does! I’m a nurse and I know what a heart attack looks like!”

Me: *still very dazed* “What’s going on?”

(As I try to sit up, I’m forced back down onto the concrete.)

Fiancé: “Enough! Heart palpitations and heart attacks may look similar but they aren’t! If he was having a heart attack, he’d have the classic symptoms! He passed out because he has [specific medical condition]! Look at his medical alert bracelet, for f***’s sake!”

Woman: “People who have [specific medical condition] usually have an alert dog, and he doesn’t. Now let someone with actual medical training work!” *turns to me* “Now, son, you’re having a heart attack. I need you to calm your breathing down and–”

(By now, I’ve regained consciousness enough to know what is going on. I am still dazed, as I usually am after an episode, but I know this woman is full of it.)

Me: *sits up slowly, glaring at the woman before raising my medical alert bracelet* “I have [specific medical condition]. We are on holiday and I couldn’t bring my alert dog with me because she didn’t get her shots in time. Now, if you would kindly f*** off, all I want is some water and ice because I smacked my head when I fell.”

Woman: “How dare you speak to me like that?! I know what’s best for you! I’m a nurse!”

Me: “With all respect, kindly go f*** yourself. Any nurse would know the difference between palpitations and an infarction. I don’t know who you are, but if you try to do anything to me, I’m getting someone to call security and I’ll press charges.”

(The woman proceeded to yell, “I’m a nurse! I know what I’m doing!” and continued to scold my fianceé and me for “lying.” Security was called — by pro staff — and she was escorted away.)

[florida80]

Anti-Vaxxers Aren’t The Only Stupid Ones
BELGIUM, COWORKERS, HEALTH & BODY, NON-DIALOGUE, OFFICE, REVOLTING, STUPID | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 25, 2019
I worked in a building catering to various businesses at the time and we were informed that a few people within the building had recently come down with hepatitis and we should pay extra attention to hygiene. I’m usually a bit casual about it but I took this one seriously. I don’t remember the type, but it was one that you could get vaccinated for.

One day, I noticed that we were out of soap but my concern was laughed at. The next day, I saw a coworker leaving the toilets without washing her hands. I confronted her. I was flabbergasted when she replied, “Oh, no. It is not a problem; I’m vaccinated.”‘

I know she just resigned to go work in a café, and for health and safety, those vaccines are mandatory. I just checked which café it was again — not out of interest, but just to make sure I don’t wander into it by accident.

[florida80]

You Were “Right” All Along
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, PENNSYLVANIA, USA | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 25, 2019
(Due to a rather small face, my sinuses do not drain well. Because of this, I’ve had ear infections plague me since childhood; I’m very familiar with how it feels when I have one. I almost always get an infection in one ear when I get a cold. Lo and behold, I end up with a cold right before New Year’s. New Year’s Day, I wake up with the usual pain, congested ear, and muffled hearing and know right away it’s an ear infection. Since it’s the holiday, I head to an urgent care office that I’ve been to before. Once I’m in with the doctor, the following conversation takes place. Note: I’m 26.)

Doctor: “So, I hear you’re not feeling well today. What’s going on?”

Me: “I have an ear infection in my right ear.”

(Hindsight: I could’ve been more forthcoming initially with symptoms, and I do so when she looks at me like I’ve sprouted a second head.)

Me: “I’ve got pain in my right ear, muffled hearing, and a sense of clogging. I usually get them when I have a cold, which I have.”

Doctor: *still unsure* “Well, let’s go ahead and check your ears. Sometimes, you can get fluid behind the eardrums that causes that congested kind of feeling, since adults don’t get ear infections.”

(I blink, but nod, knowing it’s an ear infection. I let her check my left ear, which she gives the all-clear on. As she looks into my right ear, however, she gasps loudly and puts a hand on my shoulder in surprise.)

Doctor: “Oh, my, you have an ear infection! But adults don’t get ear infections. I don’t know… How did this happen?”

Me: “I have small sinus cavities and terrible drainage. It does happen.”

(She had to look in both of my ears again before she would even consider giving me a prescription to help clear it up. I never saw her there again, but I haven’t been back in a long time. It always scares me when people — let alone doctors — think they know our bodies better than we do, but to think adults suddenly don’t get ear infections? I wish!)

[florida80]

Oh, My Sweet Summer Child
ELEMENTARY/PRIMARY SCHOOL, HEALTH & BODY, STUDENTS, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 23, 2019
(At the school where I teach, the cafeteria staff has gotten a grant to provide fresh fruit and vegetables to all students two afternoons per week; on this day, the snack is Honeycrisp apples.)

Student: “Are these sweet?”

Me: “Yes; Honeycrisp are really sweet, especially compared to other apples.”

Student: “Well, I’m on a diet and my mom says I’m not supposed to have sugar or sweets.”

Me: “Well, apples are sweet because they’re naturally sweet, not because there’s any sugar added.”

Student: “Yeah, but I’m not supposed to have any sweets. I’ll have something healthier, like chips.”

[florida80]

Only Thing That Dog Did To A Stick Was Fetch It
BIZARRE, EDITORS' CHOICE, HEALTH & BODY, PETS & ANIMALS, SCOTLAND, STUPID, UK, VET | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 23, 2019
Caller: “My dog is pregnant!”

Me: “Ah, would you like to make an appointment to confirm?”

Caller: “Confirm? I already confirmed!”

Me: “Oh, I see. So, a follow-up appointment. Could I have your dog’s name, please?” *takes details* “I don’t see anything in her records about her pregnancy. Did you have her tested at another vet?”

Caller: “No, we’ve only ever gone to you.”

Me: “Then I would advise one of our team examine her to confirm.”

Caller: “I just told you. I’ve already confirmed. I peed on the stick and everything.”

Me: “Sorry? You used a human pregnancy test on your dog?

Caller: *huffs* “No, I put [Dog] on my stomach like you told me to, and peed on the pregnancy test I got from the pharmacy. It was positive.”

Me: “…”

Caller: “Hello?”

Me: “Sorry, umm, we wouldn’t advise that as a means of determining your dog’s pregnancy. You should come into the vet where we can test her. And I would probably advise you go to the doctor and have yourself checked.”

Caller: “Are you saying I’m crazy?”

Me: “No, I’m saying you might be pregnant.”

Caller: “Oh.”

(We make an appointment, although I’m doubtful the dog is actually pregnant.)

Me: “Before you go, could I just ask where you got this pregnancy test idea? You said we may have advised it?”

Caller: “Not you specifically. A vet on Reddit told me about it.” *hangs up*

(I was working reception when she had her appointment. I asked if she had been to the doctor, to which she went on an elaborate story about seeking a holistic abortion centre — something else she read about online. The vet who examined the dog confirmed she wasn’t pregnant, and told me after the woman had left that she had never met anyone so out of touch with reality.)

[florida80]

You Can’t Insure Against Evil
BAD BEHAVIOR, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 22, 2019
(A young woman pulls up to the drive-thru pharmacy to pick up Ritalin for her son, who is sitting in the backseat. The medication isn’t ready so I check the system and see that the insurance isn’t covering it. A reason is usually provided, but not in this case.)

Evil Mom: “That makes no sense. We always get it filled here and there’s never a problem. The insurance covers everything.” *classic line with pharmacy customers who think insurance is magic and has no limitations*

Me: “I understand. But I just tried to run it through the insurance and they rejected it without giving a reason why. Would you be able to call them?”

Evil Mom: “Okay, I’ll call right now.” *looks at her insurance cards angrily* “So, what’s the number?”

Me: *confused why she thinks I know the number off the top of my head* “There should be a customer service number on the back of the card.”

Evil Mom: *still angry* “Member services?”

Me: “Yes.”

(She calls and remains sitting in the single-lane driveway, blocking a line of cars with no regard for the other people who came for their medications.)

Me: “Could you pull around the store to make the call?”

Evil Mom: “I’m not leaving this spot until I get my son’s meds.”

(The pharmacist comes over.)

Pharmacist: *friendly* “I’m sorry, but would you be able to—”

Evil Mom: *without looking at us* “I’m not leaving.” *rolls the window up in our faces*

(The pharmacist curses under her breath and leaves to help other customers. The mom reaches someone from the insurance company and puts the window back down. For fifteen minutes, I listen to her scream at the representative. The whole store can hear her through the drive-thru dropping profuse F-bombs and bullying the rep. Her son is fidgeting in the back seat, but sadly, he doesn’t look surprised by this behavior.)

Evil Mom: “Why isn’t my son’s medication covered? You are supposed to cover it and he needs this! What is your name? Okay. And what is your last name? ‘L’ is your last name? Wow. That’s a weird last name. Then give me your employee number. What do you mean, you don’t have numbers? So, how does your company have you on file? Give me your information. You know what? Nevermind. I want to speak to a manager. Now.”

(A car behind her honks.)

Other Customer: *shouting forward* “What’s going on? It’s been almost half an hour! Just go inside!”

Evil Mom: *shouting back* “SHUT THE F*** UP!”

(Eventually, the cars behind her begin leaving the line. None of them come inside the store. Mom, still on the phone, throws a discount prescription card and her welfare card at me and looks expectant. I return a blank look.)

Evil Mom: *pleasant voice* “I’m waiting for you.”

Me: *confused as to what she expects me to do, since the insurance issue has not been resolved* “Did they put the claim through? If so, I can try to re-run it.”

Evil Mom: *arrogantly* “Just run the cards and give me the medication. I’m going to pay the same amount as I did last time. Use the cards I just gave you and give me his pills.”

Me: “It still has to go through the insurance first.”

(The mom continues screaming obscenities simultaneously at the phone and now at me. The pharmacist comes over again and takes charge of the situation.)

Pharmacist: “You need to stop talking like that to our staff. You’re cursing and insulting us. We don’t need that. In the future, I think you need to use a different pharmacy.”

Evil Mom: *in a weirdly amused way* “Who are you even? I didn’t ask you anything.”

(The pharmacist and I are fed up. I look back and see that the store manager has been listening to everything in the background. The pharmacist tries to run the medication through the insurance again but the rejection is still coming up.)

Pharmacist: “The insurance is still not going through. We’ve done what we can. The cash price is $130 and we can fill it for you.”

(The mom sped away in a flash without another word. We were surprised she didn’t curse us out one more time. We anticipate that she has already called corporate to tell them we are horrible people preventing her from getting her son’s medication. The store manager who overheard said she will vouch for us. If that evil mom knew how to be patient and work with people, there is a chance she could have gotten her son’s medication filled. I feel really bad for that kid.)

[florida80]

The Many Signs Of Politeness
DENTIST, MICHIGAN, PATIENTS, SILLY, USA | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 19, 2019
(I’m sixteen when I get all four of my wisdom teeth out at once. I’m understandably a little fuzzy and in pain after the procedure, but overall surprisingly lucid. I tend to be painfully polite, and since I can’t speak with the gauze in my mouth, I clumsily sign, “Thank you,” the only thing I know how to say in basic sign language, to the nurses helping me to the recovery area. A few weeks later, I’m discussing the aftermath of the procedure with my parents.)

Mom: “Do you realize how many times you said, ‘Thank you,’ to the nurses?”

Me: “I wanted to be polite! They did a good job!”

Mom: “You were thanking them every two seconds!”

(Good to know I’m polite even when I’m high on anesthesia.)

[florida80]

Breathe Easy: This One Has A Happy Ending
COLORADO, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, PETS & ANIMALS, USA, VET | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 16, 2019
(My dog has developed a swollen face, is vomiting, and is not her usual, rambunctious self, but not lethargic. Although I’ve had dogs most of my life, I’ve never had a dog with such symptoms. It’s late in the day, just before they are due to close, but I call my veterinarian’s office for advice. She had a Bordetella vaccine just a few days ago so I think it might be related and mention that. After I explained the symptoms and asked about any relation to the vaccine:)

Receptionist: “I don’t think it’s related to the vaccine, but let me check.” *a few moments of silence* “No, the vet doesn’t think such an allergic reaction would happen at this point. It’s been three days and any adverse effects generally are seen with the first few hours, not longer than 48. Besides, the Bordetella vaccine doesn’t cause anything like what you’re describing. If you’re concerned, I can fit you in at the next available appointment. How about Tuesday at 10:00 am?”

(I’m calling on a Thursday.)

Me: “Um, did you say allergic reaction? Do you really think I should wait almost a week to have something like that checked? By then, I’m sure she would be already recovered or dead! Maybe I should take her to the emergency vet?”

Receptionist: “Well, the face swelling usually means the pet is on the way to recovery from whatever set it off, but yes, possibly an allergic reaction. If it makes you feel better, we can see her at 8:00 am tomorrow, but leave us a voicemail to let us know tonight or first thing in the morning if you won’t be coming. She should be fine.”

Me: “And if it gets worse, I’ll take her to the emergency vet; either way, I’ll let the office know if I don’t need that appointment.”

(My dog did appear to be improving, with the swelling decreasing. She stopped vomiting and started acting more energetic, but I didn’t call to cancel that appointment. Close to midnight, she started almost frantically pacing, madly shaking her head every couple of minutes — maybe something in her ear? — and couldn’t get comfortable to sleep. She generally sleeps on her own blanket at my feet on the bed but finally, about two am, she settled down wrapped around my head, laying on my pillow with her head on mine, her nose next to my ear. Soon, her breathing became soft and her usual light snoring started, and I dozed off myself. I was suddenly jolted awake a few minutes after four am and I quickly realized that, even though her nose was next to my ear, I couldn’t hear her breathing! I quickly sat up and turned to check on her. She was not only not breathing, but she was totally limp like a rag, no muscle tone at all, and she felt somewhat cold to the touch. I quickly moved her to an accessible position and started chest compressions, with no response, and I started bawling, calling her name, and berating myself for not taking her to the emergency vet. That woke my husband up and he, too, acknowledged that she appeared to be gone. He reached out to touch and caress her limp body and pretty much instinctively, I think, also squeezed her chest. And her head moved, very slightly. Imagination? Wishful thinking? No, it moved again and she started breathing again! It took several minutes but she recovered enough to pull herself to her blanket and she almost immediately fell asleep, gently snoring. She slept; we didn’t. I kept that appointment, but by then she was not showing any remaining symptoms at all, except for a bit of residual swelling. After questioning why we hadn’t given her any Benadryl –I wasn’t instructed to and didn’t know to do so — the vet explained that the head shaking was because the swelling makes the ears “not feel right,” that her ears were then perfectly clear and her temperature and color normal. I’m not sure the vet believed what had happened earlier, but he noted it all in her file. My pup was given injections of Benadryl and steroids to fight off any remaining toxins, but didn’t have any further issues. We still have no idea what caused such a dramatic allergic reaction, but it’s suspected to be a bug or spider bite from the back yard. Now, we keep Benadryl in the medicine cabinet and have instructions that if she begins to show any similar symptoms, no matter how slight, we are to give her half of a tablet and take her to the emergency vet immediately. And one veterinary receptionist is probably in a heap of trouble for his casual reaction to my very real concerns.)

[florida80]

LOL-ly
AUSTRALIA, AWESOME, GRANDPARENTS, HOSPITAL, INSPIRATIONAL, NEW SOUTH WALES, NON-DIALOGUE, NURSES, PATIENTS, SYDNEY | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 13, 2019
Late at night, my grandfather calls me to say my grandmother is having an “episode” and needs me. I hurry over, take one look at her, and call an ambulance; we escort her to the hospital.

My grandmother has become increasingly anxious about getting older and sicker and is visibly shaking and getting upset at the sudden onset of people around her taking blood, canulating, running ECGs, etc. The primary nurse has been professional, but far from warm or personable. My grandmother and I are nurses ourselves — well, Grandma was, years ago — so we totally understand that that happens sometimes.

My grandmother is given a cup of disgusting potassium liquid to drink, which she does quickly, but, in an effort to try and cheer herself up, she says, “Ugh! Wah wah wah! I want a lolly after that!”

The primary nurse disappears out of the room for a minute and returns… holding a rainbow lollipop, which she unwraps and presents to Grandma. She says, still in her serious voice, “That’s for being a brave girl,” and then heads out of the room again.

Grandma was so chuffed she talked about that little gesture for her remaining years.

[florida80]

A Sample Of The Local Community
MEDICAL OFFICE, NON-DIALOGUE, OKLAHOMA, REVOLTING, TULSA, USA | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 9, 2019
My doctor wrote up an order for some blood work. On my way in, I passed a mailbox mounted to the wall outside.

It can’t be confused with anything but a mailbox. It even has a little red flag to raise for outgoing mail.

The nurse who drew my blood told me that the mail carrier just walked inside and delivered the mail. The box was unused. Then, one day someone suspected that things were being put in the box. There was no key. It had to be forced open.

Yup.

People were using it for a specimen dropbox. Blood, urine, and stool samples in whatever jar someone felt like putting them in had been put in a black metal box in full Oklahoma summer heat — normally over 100F. Anyone besides me thinking, “How many people tried to tear off the sign and rip away the tape to insert some new sample?”

[florida80]

One Man’s Meat Is Another Man’s Poison
COWORKERS, EMPLOYEES, HEALTH & BODY, MARYLAND, RETAIL, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 6, 2019
(I work at a store with around 80 to 100 total employees. In the last few months, there have been a surprising number of people missing work due to food poisoning, about 20 times in the last three or four months. Emails have been going around, with some people complaining, some passive-aggressively implying people are making it up or blowing it out of proportion, and a few of us trying to actually make lists of restaurants in the area workers might go out to eat, or where they shopped, to see trends. We get a lot of people in the store, even if they have not had food poisoning, to describe their lunch habits. Still, even with the information, nothing really seems to add up. Some of the people usually get lunch at the restaurants nearby, but none of the restaurants seem more likely than others. Sometimes it was pizza, sometimes it was people bringing leftovers that had been fine the day before, sometimes they had eaten out, sometimes they had not. None of it seems to make a lot of sense. Today, I am in our break room for lunch when I see a coworker putting a few chicken wings on a napkin into one of the two microwaves. After a moment, something clicks in my head and I look back at the microwave with chicken inside.)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], are you cooking chicken?”

Coworker: “Yeah! [Grocery Store] sells bags of frozen wings. They make a good lunch.”

Me: “Are they precooked?”

Coworker: “No, you have to cook them. Our microwave takes forever, though.”

Me: “Okay, so, you cook the frozen wings in the microwave?”

Coworker: “Just put them in the refrigerator in the morning and they defrost by lunchtime.”

Me: “Okay, gotcha.”

(Throughout the conversation, I don’t think my coworker picks up on my disbelief, so I just sit down and watch him as he plays on his phone, occasionally checking the chicken. At the end, the napkin the wings are on is clearly soggy with something, so he grabs another paper towel and wipes off the glass tray in the microwave, then wipes off the counter where there are a few drips. He then sets the napkin down on one of the tables and eats from it. We have paper plates on hand, but he just has the wings on a napkin. Once he finishes, he throws out the bones and gets another napkin to wipe off the damp spot left on the table under his napkin, throws it out, and goes back to the sales floor.)

Me: *on a walkie-talkie* “Hey, [Manager], could you meet me in the break room, please? I might have found the cause of the recent food issues.”

(The manager gave him a talking-to, but he genuinely did not seem to understand why what he was doing was a huge health risk. We heavily sanitized the break room with bleach, and here’s hoping the food poisoning issues are done with.)

[florida80]

Squeezing Them To See Things Your Way
IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, USA, WASHINGTON | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 2, 2019
(I’m on the phone with someone who is trying to schedule an appointment they describe as urgent.)

Me: “We’re booked solid until next Friday but I can squeeze you in. It’d just be a shorter appointment.”

Patient: “What? Why?”

Me: “Because we’re full and that’s the only way I could possibly fit you in, I’m afraid.”

Patient: “That’s completely unacceptable! I don’t want to be squeezed in! I need a full appointment! Book me for your soonest appointment right now!”

Me: “Okay. Then the first day we can see you is [date two weeks from now]. Would noon work for you?”

Patient: *pause* “What does being squeezed in mean?”

[florida80]

You Said It, Doc!
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 31, 2019
(I have had some severe abdominal pain recently. My primary doc is unable to figure out what is going on so I am referred to a specialist. This is my first interaction with the specialist:)

Doctor: “So, who did you see before coming to me?”

Me: “My general practitioner.”

Doctor: “Your GP?” *he scoffs* “What a waste of time. Tell me, what sort of useless advice did he give you?”

Me: “He told me to come and see you.”

Doctor: *nervously shifts in his chair and coughs*

[florida80]

Needs Treatment Not Treats
EDITORS' CHOICE, HEALTH & BODY, PET STORE, PETS & ANIMALS, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 30, 2019
(After a long day of dealing with people who are seemingly too stupid to read price tags, I am ready to go home. My manager has come over to tell me to turn off my light and go home. As I am leaving my register, a woman I’ve seen many times comes up.)

Woman: “Oh, sweetheart, I know you’re leaving but could you please help me? I’ll be quick. It’s just one question.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, I–”

Manager: “[My Name] is one of our most knowledgeable employees. She’ll be happy to help you.” *leaves*

Me: *sigh* “How can I help you?”

Woman: “Well, you see, my dog…”

(She tells me her twelve-year-old dog’s life story, ending in his inability to poop for four days.)

Woman: “So, I was wondering which of these treats would be better for him?”

Me: “Take him to the vet.”

Woman: “What?”

Me: “Take him to the vet.”

Woman: “But that’s expensive!”

Me: “Medical bills are expensive. He needs professional help.”

Woman: “You’re supposed to be the professional help! This is ridiculous! Without customers, you wouldn’t have a paycheck. Do you know that? People like me keep you employed!”

Me: “I make $9 an hour. How professional do you think my help is going to be?”

Woman: “Well, that’s not my problem.”

Me: “You refusing to spend money on your dog is not my problem, either.”

Woman: “You’re quite rude!”

Me: “Your other option is to stick your finger up your dog’s a** and dig out the s*** yourself.”

(I feel a little guilty about the last part, but I am over my time and ready to go home, so I walk away and clock out. When I leave the break room, my manager is standing at the front with the woman, who is obviously complaining about me.)

Woman: “…and you should fire her!”

Manager: “I can’t.”

Woman: “What?! Why not?”

Manager: “Today was her last day.”

(The woman sputtered a few nonsensical words before leaving. I can only hope she took my advice and took her dog to the vet. I understand that vet bills are expensive but that’s part of the deal when you’re in charge of another life.)

[florida80]

They’re Not Out Of The Woods Yet
HOSPITAL, OHIO, PATIENTS, RELIGION, SILLY, USA | HEALTHY | AUGUST 29, 2019
(We’re in the waiting room during our adult son’s brain surgery. A family sits near us and I hear:)

Family: “He’s in Jesus’s hands now.”

(I lean over to my son’s girlfriend and say:)

Me: “They sent a carpenter in to do a surgeon’s job.”