(An order comes to my pharmacy for a well-known antibiotic. This antibiotic is known to smell exactly like rotten eggs, so most of us just hold our breath while we count it and try not to think about it too much. We dispense it to a woman who is picking it up for her teenage son. Everything is normal and she leaves with the prescription, but about 10 minutes later she comes stomping back into the pharmacy, pretty much shoves the person that I am currently helping out of the way, and throws the bottle of medication on the counter.)
Customer: “I want to speak to your manager right now! You guys gave me rotten medication!”
Me: “Really? Let me look at the expiration date on your bottle. Normally we don’t keep anything that has one less than a year away.”
(I look at the bottle and see that the pharmacist wrote a date of over a year away, and I go over to our stock bottle and check and the numbers correspond with each other.)
Me: “Hmm. Well, ma’am, it doesn’t look like this medication is expired but I will have the phar—”
Customer: “You are just lying! I mean, come on and open that bottle! It smells totally rotten! I can’t believe that you would ever give someone bad medication! My son is very very ill!”
Me: “Oh, that’s just because the active chemical that is in this medication has a bad smell. Trust me, I wish there was something that we could do about it back here, too. Most of us hold our breath while we count it.”
Customer: “Stop ****** lying to me. You just don’t want to admit you did something wrong! I will have your job for this, b****!
(At this point the pharmacist who has been listening the whole time walks over.)
Pharmacist: “Ma’am, while I don’t like the fact that you are calling my staff names like that I will let you know two things. One is, certain chemicals have a bad smell. It’s just a fact of life. So, while I know that smell is unpleasant, it’s just one of those side effects that come with being able to take medications that will help your sick son. I assure you it’s supposed to smell that bad. If it didn’t, it wouldn’t work right. Two, since you don’t seem to want to listen to my employees and call them awful names, this will be the last time that you or any members of your family can shop or fill any type of medication here. Maybe in the future you can learn how to treat people the way you want to be treated.”
(The woman proceeded to turn bright red with embarrassment and tried to apologize, but my boss wouldn’t hear it. That was almost two years ago and he still will not allow her or her family to fill their prescriptions at his pharmacy.)
(An elderly gentleman approaches me at the counter.)
Me: “How may I help you, sir?”
Customer: “My butt hurts! I need medicine!”
Me: “All right, do you have a prescription? Or, can you tell me what exactly is wrong so that I can recommend you something that doesn’t need one?”
Customer: “I don’t know what’s wrong. But my butt hurts!”
Me: “Please go see a doctor then, sir. Without knowing what causes your pain, there’s little I can do.”
Customer: “But I don’t want to wait at the doctor’s together with all the sick people! I’ll catch a disease or something!”
Me: “That’s understandable. Maybe you could go early in the morning when fewer people are there?”
Customer: “No! I don’t want to! I want you to tell me what’s wrong! Look at my butt!”
Me: “Sorry, sir, but we don’t do that–”
(The man doesn’t listen. In front of me and three other customers, he drops his pants and underwear, turns around and sticks out his butt in my direction.)
Me: “Sir, please pull up your pants again! I can’t tell what’s wrong and you will have to leave if you don’t stop that!”
Customer: “Nonsense! If you can’t tell what’s wrong from over there, come closer and get a better look!”
(My boss then comes to look at what’s going on and ends up kicking the guy out.)
Customer: *on the way out the door* “Why will no one look at my butt?!”
Extra Stupid, Holidays, New Jersey, Pharmacy, Retail, USA | Right | November 16, 2011
(A customer walks to my register with a Halloween decoration in tow. It’s a cheap cardboard statue of a cartoon-looking black cat covered in a shiny plastic material.)
Customer: “So, why is this 3D?”
Me: “Excuse me?”
(I peer at the tag. It says “3D Cat.”)
Me: “Oh, that’s because it’s 3D.”
Customer: “No, I mean why is it ‘D’? Is it because it’s shiny?”
(A multitude of thoughts are racing through my head at this point. I debate the prospect of explaining to her what 3D actually means. In the end, I decide it’s easier to just agree with her.)
Me: “Exactly! It’s really sparkly and that’s why it’s called a 3D cat. Would you like to purchase it?”
(I’m a pharmacist in a rural area. A shop assistant calls me out from the dispensary to talk to a customer, who is a slightly intoxicated middle aged woman.)
Customer: “This medicine made my partner sick! Violently sick!”
Me: “Let me see. Has he had any alcohol?”
Customer: “No.”
Me: “Are you sure? Not even a little?”
Customer: “He doesn’t drink. Maybe only a little, but he wasn’t drunk.”
Me: “It clearly says on the label that you must not drink any alcohol while being treated with this medicine.”
Customer: “But he didn’t drink much at all. A beer shouldn’t matter, should it?”
Me: “It contains enough alcohol to–”
Customer: “But, like, you can even drive if you only drink a beer!”
Me: “That has nothing to do with–”
Customer: “I think he’d better not take this medicine. It made him violently sick!”
Me: “I think he should–”
Customer: “Thanks, I’ll tell him what you said. This medicine is a poison!” *turns around and walks out*
(I am standing in line at the pharmacy counter and a man rudely cuts in front of me, stating that he has been waiting in line, just in another part of the store. He assures me he’ll be quick, but I don’t buy his excuse. The following exchange occurs between him and the pharmacist.)
Customer: “I need to speak to a pharmacist immediately.”
Pharmacist: “Do you have a question about your medication?”
Customer: “Yes, it says on the bottle to take with water. I don’t drink water. Water makes you fat.”
Pharmacist: “Um, water is essential for your body, especially with those pills.”
Customer: “What about water retention? Will I just pee it out, then?”
Pharmacist: “Yeah, your body will eventually eliminate it. You should drink water, though. Your body needs plenty of water to work well, and you really don’t want to be dehydrated while on this drug.”
Customer: “Okay, I’ll try it. Oh, and one more question. What about alcohol? Can I still have my alcohol?”
(I am standing in line at the pharmacy counter and a man rudely cuts in front of me, stating that he has been waiting in line, just in another part of the store. He assures me he’ll be quick, but I don’t buy his excuse. The following exchange occurs between him and the pharmacist.)
Customer: “I need to speak to a pharmacist immediately.”
Pharmacist: “Do you have a question about your medication?”
Customer: “Yes, it says on the bottle to take with water. I don’t drink water. Water makes you fat.”
Pharmacist: “Um, water is essential for your body, especially with those pills.”
Customer: “What about water retention? Will I just pee it out, then?”
Pharmacist: “Yeah, your body will eventually eliminate it. You should drink water, though. Your body needs plenty of water to work well, and you really don’t want to be dehydrated while on this drug.”
Customer: “Okay, I’ll try it. Oh, and one more question. What about alcohol? Can I still have my alcohol?”
(A customer has called to ask if we carry an over the counter soap in our store.)
Me: “Hello, ma’am? I just checked and we do carry [brand] soap. However, we are all out of stock right now, but we could order some for you and it would come in tomorrow.”
Customer: “You don’t carry [brand]?”
Me: “We do carry it. We just don’t have it in right now.”
Customer: “Well, why not?”
Me: “Because other customers have purchased it. But we can order some for tomorrow.”
(I am standing in line at the pharmacy counter and a man rudely cuts in front of me, stating that he has been waiting in line, just in another part of the store. He assures me he’ll be quick, but I don’t buy his excuse. The following exchange occurs between him and the pharmacist.)
Customer: “I need to speak to a pharmacist immediately.”
Pharmacist: “Do you have a question about your medication?”
Customer: “Yes, it says on the bottle to take with water. I don’t drink water. Water makes you fat.”
Pharmacist: “Um, water is essential for your body, especially with those pills.”
Customer: “What about water retention? Will I just pee it out, then?”
Pharmacist: “Yeah, your body will eventually eliminate it. You should drink water, though. Your body needs plenty of water to work well, and you really don’t want to be dehydrated while on this drug.”
Customer: “Okay, I’ll try it. Oh, and one more question. What about alcohol? Can I still have my alcohol?”
(A customer has called to ask if we carry an over the counter soap in our store.)
Me: “Hello, ma’am? I just checked and we do carry [brand] soap. However, we are all out of stock right now, but we could order some for you and it would come in tomorrow.”
Customer: “You don’t carry [brand]?”
Me: “We do carry it. We just don’t have it in right now.”
Customer: “Well, why not?”
Me: “Because other customers have purchased it. But we can order some for tomorrow.”
(Our pharmacy phone system is down, so all pharmacy calls are going through the main line, which is answered by me. These calls include people trying to reach the automated prescription line.)
Me: “Thanks for calling [store], where we offer flu shots every day. This is [name]. How may I help you?”
Customer: “You’re not a machine.”
Me: “No. If you were trying to reach the automated line, the phones are down. I can connect you to the pharmacist.”
Customer: “I want the automated system. People are dumb!”
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