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Old  Default Trang Sức Khoẻ Của Bạn và Những Câu Chuyện
How I Became a Pharmacist



During my freshman year in high school, my science teacher assigned us to interview people in the community about how they use science in their careers. Although I don’t remember most of the people I spoke with, I can tell you that I spent meaningful time with a local community pharmacist who changed my life.

What I saw was a man who loved his career and truly cared for his patients. In an instant, I knew that I wanted to become a pharmacist, and I never wavered from that goal throughout high school.

Knowing what you want to be when you grow up at age 14 is unusual, but it is very liberating. I simply had to work backwards to figure out how to achieve my goal of becoming a pharmacist.

After high school, I chose to attend Ohio Northern University (ONU) because it had a unique pharmacy program. Rather than attending college for 2 years and then applying to the pharmacy program, ONU students were admitted to the College of Pharmacy from day one.

Although it was expensive, being in pharmacy school from day one and avoiding the risk of rejection made it worthwhile for me.

In college, I spent a lot of time in the library. Although the classwork was difficult, I did well with one exception: organic chemistry.

I did fail organic chemistry—a notorious “weed out” course—but I successfully retook the class over the summer and graduated on time with the rest of my classmates. Failing a course is a difficult stumbling block, but I stood strong and persevered.

Today, I’m thankful for the wonderful pharmacy profession for so many reasons.

First, I’m thankful that community pharmacists are the health care professionals most accessible to the public. If my local pharmacist wasn’t accessible to me, then I likely would have taken a different career path.

Second, I’m proud of the work we pharmacists do, the diversity of our career options, and the relationships we share with our patients and fellow health care providers.

Pharmacy is a profession that makes a real difference in people’s lives. It certainly has made all the difference in mine.

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Old 10-03-2019   #4881
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Sexually-Transmitted Translation

Doctor, Hong Kong, Language & Words, LGBTQ, Medical Office | Healthy | March 4, 2018


(I am a foreign college student and I need to see a gynecologist for the first time. I also need to fill out a medical information form that’s all in Chinese.)

Receptionist: “Can you read Chinese?”

Me: “The basics, but I have trouble with medical vocab.”

Receptionist: “Okay, start filling what you can and come back when there’s no line.”

(I do so and the receptionist translates while I answer.)

Receptionist: “Okay, this says, ‘Are you sexually active?’”

Me: *circles yes*

Receptionist: “Okay, and this says, ‘What protection do you use? Check all applicable.’”

Me: “Okay, does it say, ‘dental dam,’ somewhere?”

Receptionist: “Huh?”

Me: “Um… for oral protection.”

Receptionist: “This is asking what you do to not get pregnant.”

Me: “So, it’s ‘contraceptive,’ not ‘protection’?”

Receptionist: “Same thing.”

Me: “No… It isn’t. Okay, where does it ask for the gender of my partner?”

Receptionist: “Gender?”

Me: “Yes. I’m sexually active with women, not men.”

Receptionist: *long pause, looks around as if for help* “Then you put, ‘No,’ for sexually active and skip these questions.”

Me: “Don’t you care about me getting STDs?”

Receptionist: “Huh?”

Me: “It means I can still get STDs, as I’m sexually active, but you want me to put, ‘No,’ for being sexually active.”

Receptionist: *blank stare* “Uh. Let me talk to the doctor.”

(I am not called back for a while, and when I am, it’s for the actual appointment.)

Doctor: “I’m sorry about the form. We never get people like you. Let’s continue.” *hands form back to me*

(I noticed next to the line asking about being sexually active, “lesbian” was written in, in English. She helped me fill the rest of the form, adding — in English — the details it didn’t support, with no further issues.)
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Điều trị loét dạ dày tại nhà


Bên cạnh những liệu pháp y tế, bạn cũng nên áp dụng một số thói quen sống lành mạnh nhằm nâng cao hiệu quả của liệu tŕnh điều trị cũng như đẩy mạnh tốc độ hồi phục của vết loét.

Chế độ ăn uống


Một chế độ ăn uống lành mạnh thường bao gồm trái cây với nhiều vitamin A và C. Tuy nhiên, bạn cần cẩn thận khi lựa chọn trái cây v́ lượng vitamin dồi dào của chúng có nguy cơ khiến các vết loét trong dạ dày khó lành hơn.

Bạn nên cân nhắc dùng các thực phẩm chứa men vi sinh như sữa chua hay miso. Lượng lợi khuẩn trong các sản phẩm này rất có lợi cho vi khuẩn đường ruột và có khả năng hỗ trợ dạ dày hoạt động ổn định.

Điều trị loét dạ dày 3

Ngoài ra, hăy lưu ư rằng bạn cần hạn chế hoặc bỏ hẳn thói quen uống rượu. Sử dụng quá nhiều thức uống chứa cồn có thể gây kích ứng và ăn ṃn niêm mạc trong dạ dày cũng như ruột, gây ra các t́nh trạng viêm và chảy máu.

Thói quen sống


Nếu bắt buộc dùng thuốc giảm đau, bạn nên cân nhắc đổi loại thuốc đang dùng. Trong trường hợp bạn phải dùng chúng thường xuyên, hăy tham khảo ư kiến bác sĩ về acetaminophen (Tylenol). Đây có thể là một lựa chọn lư tưởng cho bạn.

Bên cạnh đó, hăy học cách kiểm soát căng thẳng. Căng thẳng có thể khiến các dấu hiệu và triệu chứng của loét dạ dày xấu đi. Một số trường hợp căng thẳng có thể không tránh khỏi, nhưng bạn vẫn có biện pháp ứng phó với chúng, chẳng hạn như:
•Tập luyện thể dục thể thao
•Dành thời gian với bạn bè hoặc người thân
•Viết lách


Ngoài ra, bạn cũng nên bỏ thuốc lá. Hút thuốc có thể can thiệp vào lớp niêm mạc dạ dày, khiến những vết loét dễ dàng xuất hiện hơn. Không những thế, thuốc lá cũng góp phần gây tăng nồng độ axit trong dịch bao tử.

Một biện pháp khác hỗ trợ bạn điều trị loét dạ dày tại nhà là cố gắng ngủ đủ giấc. Giấc ngủ ngon sẽ giúp tinh thần bạn thoải mái, thư giăn, từ đó giảm bớt nguy cơ căng thẳng xảy ra. Thêm vào đó, tránh ăn no ngay trước khi đi ngủ là một cách đơn giản giúp bạn có giấc ngủ ngon.

Điều trị loét dạ dày 4

Bạn có thể xem thêm: Tất tần tật thông tin về viêm xung huyết dạ dày

Các hoạt chất hỗ trợ điều trị


Khi nhắc đến điều trị loét dạ dày, nhiều người sẽ nghĩ đến nghệ với những lợi ích đối với bao tử như tính kháng viêm và chống oxy hóa. Những khả năng này là nhờ hoạt chất curcumin, thành phần chính trong củ nghệ. Tuy nhiên, curcumin lại không tan trong nước. Do đó, để đạt được kết quả mong muốn, bạn sẽ phải sử dụng một lượng lớn curcumin trong thời gian dài, v́ độ hấp thụ của hoạt chất này cực kỳ thấp. Đây cũng là nhược điểm của hoạt chất curcumin.

Tuy vậy, hiện nay bạn đă có một lựa chọn tốt hơn, đó là dùng Nano Curcumin. Nano Curcumin là một dạng chế phẩm bào chế bằng công nghệ cao của curcumin. Với kích thước siêu nhỏ (khoảng 50nm – 70nm), các phân tử Nano Curcumin dễ dàng thẩm thấu và phát huy tối đa công dụng của nó. Bạn có thể t́m mua chế phẩm này dưới dạng thực phẩm chức năng. Tuy nhiên, bạn hăy lựa chọn cẩn thận các loại thực phẩm chức năng để tránh “tiền mất tật mang” nhé.
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Old 10-04-2019   #4883
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Needs To Prescribe Some Anger-Management

Germany, Jerk, Pharmacy | Healthy | March 3, 2018


(I work at a call centre for a German online pharmacy. Unlike other pharmacies, we allow customers to pre-order medicines which requires prescriptions. It should go without saying, but we’re not allowed to ship orders that contain a prescription, until the original is sent to us by a postal service. There are also no shipping costs for our customer, if there is a prescription.)

Me: “Your [Pharmacy]. You are speaking with [My Name].”

Customer: “I placed an order last week at your store and it still hasn’t arrived. Where is it?”

Me: “Oh, that doesn’t sound so good. Could you please tell me your order number?”

(The customer doesn’t have it, so I search for her by name. It takes me a while to find her, as she has a very common name and doesn’t want to give me her postal code.)

Me: “Ah, there we have you. I’m afraid your prescription for [Medicine] hasn’t arrived yet.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! I do not need a prescription for that order! Send them to me at once!”

(I try to stay cool.)

Me: “Ma’am, [Medicine] requires a prescription, by law. We cannot deliver this order until we have the original prescription.”

Customer: “Then you should at least have told me so!”

Me: “Our online store has classified this item as one that requires a prescription. You have also received an order confirmation that asks you for your prescription.”

Customer: “No, I never received a confirmation, so don’t dare lie to me!”

Me: “Uh… Ma’am, I do not understand; you received the confirmation on [date and time].”

Customer: “No, I never did; I’ll show you!”

(I can hear her typing and the sound of a mail program opening. She waits for a moment, and then she starts mumbling to herself.)

Customer: “’Dear Mrs. [Name], thank you for your order. Please send us your your original prescription by mail, so we can continue with that order.’”

(The customer wheezes angrily.)

Customer: “This is way too complicated with your store! Other pharmacies will send them to me immediately!”

Me: “Ma’am, even other pharmacies have to wait for your prescription, as [Medicine] requires one.”

Customer: “I will never order at your store ever again! I’ve never been insulted this badly in my entire life!”

(The customer called the next day. She made a new order without the prescription and asked if that was all right.)
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Isn’t Used To This Kind Of Treatment

Canada, Hospital, Jerk, Lazy/Unhelpful, Ontario, Toronto | Healthy | March 2, 2018


(I volunteer in the emergency room of a very large hospital. I’ve volunteered in other departments as well, so I’m quite familiar with the layout. I notice a woman wandering around looking lost, so I greet her and ask if I can help her find where she’s going.)

Patient: “Yeah, I have some questions about some medical treatment I’m going to be receiving.”

Me: “Sure. Which department do you need?”

Patient: “I’m not telling you my personal medical information!”

Me: “You don’t have to, ma’am. I only need to know the category of treatment so I know where to direct you.”

Patient: “Isn’t there some kind of central information desk?”

Me: “Yes, but you’ll have to tell them the same thing.”

Patient: “Well, my medical information is confidential. Just tell me where I can get my questions answered.”

Me: “In order to do that, I need some idea of what you’re here for.”

Patient: “This is a very disorganized hospital.” *walks away*

(I probably should have just directed her to Psych.)
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Your Timing Is Just Sick

Bosses & Owners, Health & Body, Jerk, Office, The Netherlands | Healthy | March 1, 2018


(It is evening. I feel I am getting the flu, and that it won’t be better in the morning. I let my team manager know that I will call in sick tomorrow. I stay home for two days and show up at work again. In the stand-up meeting, my manager addresses me.)

Manager: “[My Name], I want to talk about how you called in sick recently. It’s a pity you did so in the evening. It was too early. You should have waited until the morning, like always, and decided then.”

(Everyone in the circle nods and sighs.)

Me: “I don’t understand. I mean, it is good to know it up front, so you can plan ahead with my colleagues.”

Manager: “No, that is not how it works. You showed yourself weak by calling in early. Never do that again.”

(As a result, from then on, those few days a year I was actually sick, I always waited until at least eleven in the morning until I called in, despite HRM wanting to know it as soon as possible every day.)
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A Cavity Search

Dentist, Jerk, Liars/Scammers, USA | Healthy | February 27, 2018


(I’ve been visiting the same dentist for about five years, and never had any issues. I’m also over thirty and have never had a cavity, so I consider myself fortunate. I go in for my six-month cleaning and let him know that as a result of a new job, I’ll be moving to a town about an hour away.)

Me: “So, this is the last time I’ll see you!”

Dentist: “Oh, we’ll miss you!”

Me: “I’ll miss you guys, too.”

Dentist: “You know, you could keep coming here. It’s not like we’re that far away, and you’ll be in town to visit your parents, since they live nearby.”

Me: “Um… Well, no, I think I’d like to find a dentist closer to where I’ll be living. You know, just in case I have an emergency.”

(The dentist tries for a few more minutes to convince me to keep visiting him, before giving up. He’s finally done with the exam.)

Dentist: “Oh, bad news. You have eleven cavities.”

Me: *completely shocked* “ELEVEN? Did you say eleven cavities? As in ten plus one?”

Dentist: *sorrowfully* “Yes. Eleven. You’ll need to get those filled right away. Let’s go up front and have my receptionist schedule the first appointment; I think we should do at least two, one side of your mouth and then the other…”

Me: *interrupting* “Wait a minute. I’ve never even had one cavity in thirty-one years! I brush and floss three times a day. You’ve always said how great my teeth look. Six months ago you said everything was fine, and now I have eleven cavities?”

Dentist: “I know. It’s very bad. Come on. Let’s get your next appointment scheduled and [Receptionist] can tell you out-of-pocket costs.”

Me: “You know, I think I’m going to hold off and get a second opinion on this. No offense, but it just seems really extreme. One or two, maybe, but eleven?”

(The dentist was adamant that I needed to get it taken care of right away, but I didn’t budge, and left without making a follow-up. I moved to my new town and found a great dentist who was surprised when I told him my last dentist found eleven cavities. He didn’t find any! Ten years later, I’ve still never had one. The worst part was that a friend of mine worked for that shady dentist; I had to call and tell him what happened and he was so embarrassed. He quit a few months later.)
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Old 10-04-2019   #4887
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Treat The Family Betta

Bethlehem, Medical Office, Nurses, Pennsylvania, Pets & Animals, Silly, USA | Healthy | February 26, 2018


(I’m the customer in this story. It’s my first day at a new doctor, so they’re asking me standard questions.)

Nurse: “Do you have any pets?”

Me: “Yes. I have eight of them.”

Nurse: “What kind?”

Me: “Three cats, three dogs, and they probably don’t matter, but I also have a goldfish and a betta.” *pause* “Oh, wait. Actually, I have nine. I just remembered that I have a little sister.”

(The nurse laughed for a good minute and a half before she could continue her questions.)
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Now You’re Just Being Cilly

California, Doctors, Hospital, Jerk, Money, USA | Healthy | February 25, 2018


(I have gone to see my new doctor because I have pneumonia.)

Doctor: *after looking at my xrays* “Yeah, that’s pneumonia. I’m going to prescribe you amoxicillin.”

Me: “I’m allergic to the penicillin family. Isn’t that in my chart?”

Doctor: “Yeah, it is… How allergic exactly are you?”

Me: “Allergic enough that I don’t want to risk it?”

Doctor: “I’m just trying to save you money! The other one I can give you is really expensive.”

Me: “More expensive than a hospital stay because of an allergic reaction?”

Doctor: “I’m just trying to save you money. No need to get defensive!”

Me: “I just want to go home and back to bed; just give me my prescription and let me worry about the costs!”

(She grudgingly gave me my prescription, muttering the entire time about how she was just trying to save me money and how ungrateful I was. The non-penicillin medication cost me $15.)
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Old 10-04-2019   #4889
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That Pretty Much Covers It

Erie, home, Parents/Guardians, Pennsylvania, USA | Healthy | February 24, 2018


(My mother is in her sixties, and while not incredibly vain, she can’t help but be a little interested in various plastic surgical procedures. Since she has gotten to know a plastic surgeon through the ballroom dance club she helps run with my dad, she goes to his office one day for a consultation. I happen to call her the afternoon after her appointment. Also note that my three siblings and I were all born via medically necessary C-sections, and my mom is ten years in remission for a mild form of lymphoma.)

Me: “So, how did it go?”

Mother: “It was fine. But I have to tell you, I don’t think this is for me.”

Me: “Oh? What makes you say that?”

Mother: “Probably the fact that I’m not in the mood to have a more extensive medical procedure just to look pretty than I did to beat cancer or have four children!”

(I have no problem with anyone who chooses to have plastic surgery — it’s your body, after all — but I couldn’t fault my mom’s rationale, and it did make me laugh. Just one of the many reasons I love this lady so much!)
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Old 10-04-2019   #4890
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Scarred By Your Parents

Hospital, Jerk, Nurse, Parents/Guardians, USA, Washington | Healthy | February 23, 2018


(I’m a nurse. I’ve been assigned to a young girl who just had emergency surgery to save her life. She has a long incision down her stomach, which will end up as a scar. Her parents come to me about a week after the surgery, but before the wound has closed or the staples have been removed, clearly upset.)

Father: “When are we going to talk about reducing that scar?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but your daughter has barely started to heal. Let’s get her healthy before we worry about appearances.”

Father: “Excuse me? It’s bad enough she has [large birthmark]; now you’re going to add this, too?”

Mother: “What about covering it in Vitamin E oil?”

Me: “Ma’am, right now we’re worried about infections and how well she’s healing. We can talk about—”

Father: “No! You will fix her now!”

(I made up something about talking to the doctor about it and left. I truly pity this child, if that was their concern.)
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Old 10-04-2019   #4891
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Literally The Walking Dead

California, Doctor, Medical Office, Silly, USA | Healthy | February 22, 2018


(When I am 20, I trip over a log and twist my ankle. It never heals right, and for years I have pain every time I take a step, stood, or put any weight on my leg. When I am 25, I get medical insurance, and my doctor sends me to a specialist to look at my ankle. It’s December, and this my first meeting with the specialist. The doctor comes in and pulls out the MRI of my ankle. He looks at it and then looks over at me. Then, he looks back at the MRI, and then back at me, with a small crease forming between his eyebrows.)

Doctor: “How do you even walk?”

Me: “Painfully?”

Doctor: “Yeah, you would have been better off breaking your leg. There is a bunch of scar tissue wrapped around the tendons in your ankle, but the real problem is your ankle bone.”

Me: “What’s wrong with it?”

Doctor: “It’s pretty much no longer there.” *he shows me my MRI* “You see that spot on your ankle, the size of a quarter? That is the part of your ankle that is missing.”

Me: “Well… That seems… bad.”

Doctor: “Yeah, if you hit it hard enough, you could just shatter the entire thing.”

Me: “So, what are my options?”

Doctor: “We can either take bone from your hip and use it as a filler to fill the hole, or we can use cadaver bone. I recommend using cadaver bone so that we don’t further damage your skeleton. Unlike organs, we don’t need to really worry about rejection or shortage. Bones are good for up to five years after donation. “

Me: “Ooh, I can be part dead person?”

Doctor: “Yes, we can use cadaver bone.”

Me: “I want dead person!”

Doctor: “Cadaver bone.”

Me: “What is the difference between dead person and cadaver bone?”

(The doctor just looks at me for a minute and then starts to laugh.)

Doctor: “Nothing. Nothing is the difference.”

Me: “I’m going to be part zombie!”

(From then on, he called it dead person bone. I was scheduled to have the surgery at the end of January, but he called me the first week of January to tell me he had found me a fresh dead person to use, instead; apparently, it takes better. So, we moved up my surgery. It’s been eight years now, and I’m virtually pain-free thanks to a wonderful person and their family, who looked past a tragic time in their lives and thought to help others. I like to use my ankle to help start conversations on the importance of donation, and I have let my family know to please donate all parts of me that they can. I hope that one day I get to help someone be part zombie, too.)
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Old 10-04-2019   #4892
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Usually The Other Word Autocorrects To Duck

Farm, Language & Words, Montana, Non-Dialogue | Healthy | February 22, 2018


My friend has talk-to-text and it is generally okay. Or at least, we’ve all become good at translating. One day we had a limping duck that had a swelling on her foot. Knowing it could be bumblefoot, which is possibly life-threatening even if treated aggressively and quickly, we took a picture of it and sent it to the vet with the following text…

Text: “Dr. [Vet], the following picture is our duck’s foot. We are concerned it might be bumble f***. Please advise treatment. We can get her to the office this afternoon, if needed.”
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Old 10-04-2019   #4893
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You Need The Nurses To Come Back

Arkansas, Hospital, Nurse, Silly, USA | Healthy | February 21, 2018


(My husband is admitted to the local Veterans Administration hospital for heart problems. After hours in the ER, he finally gets a bed on the ward. His nurse comes in to introduce himself, check my husband’s vitals, retake history, and so on.)

Nurse: “Is there anything else I can get for you, sir?”

Me: *knowing what’s coming, I silently plead* “Oh, no… Not again.”

Husband: “Yes. Two weeks vacation, a raise, some sanity, and winning lottery tickets, please.”

Nurse: *dryly* “Sorry, sir. You’ll have to see the Travel and Disbursement clerk for those.”

(My husband has been replying that to ANYONE who asks him if they can get him anything — waitstaff, clerks, medical personnel, etc. — for the entire 30 years I have known him. This is the first time I have heard a really good comeback.)
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Old 10-04-2019   #4894
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Your Cold Is Not Worth Braving The Cold

Jerk, Medical Office, New York, USA | Healthy | February 21, 2018


(I work for a small general practitioner’s office, running the front desk. On this particular day we are having a bad snow and ice storm, leading to a lot of accidents. One doctor calls in that she just isn’t coming in, and the other doctor decides that we will be closing early for the day. The following patient calls in. This is the middle of a very bad flu season, so we are swamped with sick patients.)

Patient: “Good morning. I was hoping to see the doctor today for a cold. It’s not bad but I want to make sure it’s not leading to anything.”

Me: “Unfortunately, we are closing early today because of the weather, but I can put you in tomorrow morning first thing.”

Patient: “What do you mean you’re closing early? I took off today because of the snow, and I decided to see a doctor. Well, fine. If you’re not going to see me, I’m going to an urgent care.”

Me: “That may be your best bet to be seen today, sir. If you would like to come in tomorrow, don’t hesitate to call us.”

Patient: “I just don’t understand why you wouldn’t stay open for me.” *click*

Me: *looking out the window and hearing the radio reports of several large car accidents, to my coworker* “If he called out of work because of the bad weather, why would he expect us to risk our lives for his cold?”
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Old 10-04-2019   #4895
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Bag That One For Later

Health & Body, Junior High School, Nurse, Pennsylvania, Revolting, Students, USA | Healthy | February 20, 2018


(Both the flu and a stomach bug have been going around my sister’s school and about a quarter of the population ends up sick. She ends up going to her nurse with the stomach bug after throwing up in the hallway, and my dad has just come to pick her up.)

Nurse: “Here’s a bag for the car ride home, in case you have to throw up again.”

(A random kid runs in from the hallway, grabs the bag from her hands, and throws up in it.)

Nurse: “Okay, I’ll get you another bag and throw this one away.”

(This repeated two more times with another student who was already in the nurse’s office and one of the history teachers, before my sister finally got her own bag to go home with. We’re all surprised they didn’t just quarantine the entire school at that point.)
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Old 10-04-2019   #4896
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Time To Exterminate That Joke

Funny Names, Language & Words, Medical Office, USA |
Healthy | February 20, 2018

(This is my first time at a clinic with more than one doctor, and we’re not sure which one will see me.)

Me: “This is going to be fun. Who’s going to be my doctor?”

Dad: “Doctor Hu?”

Me: “Yeah, who?”

Dad: “You can say you saw Doctor Who when you actually mean Doctor Hu!”

Mom: “I’m sure Doctor Hu is sick of this. He has to know by now.”

Dad: “He’s Chinese; he’s not going to know.”

Mom: “I’m sure he does.”

(I do end up being seen by Doctor Hu.)

Dad: *big grin, with a singsong voice* “Doctor Hu.”

Doctor Hu: *frowns* “No Doctor Who jokes, please.”

Mom: “Exactly.”

Me: “Sorry.”
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You Can’t Just Take It On The Chin-Chilla

Germany, Jerk, Lazy/Unhelpful, Pets & Animals, Vet |
Healthy | February 19, 2018

(It’s a Saturday evening. We are at home trying to have a relaxed evening when our chinchilla starts having a seizure. She has had them before; her liver is severely damaged because of pain medication she was on some years before. Our vet told us that if she had a seizure again, we would have to put her to sleep. Because the cramps stopped after about an hour and a half the last time this happened, we decide to wait and hope she’ll get better soon. But after two hours pass and there is no foreseeable recovery, we decide with a heavy heart that this will be her last evening. Because we don’t feel too comfortable driving to a vet with a wriggling chinchilla in our hands, we start looking for an emergency vet who does home visits, to have her put to sleep. I find one and give the telephone number to my dad. He puts the phone on loudspeaker so we can help him explain.)

Vet: “[Vet].”

Dad: “[Dad] speaking. Good evening. We are having problems with our chinchilla. It is having—”

Vet: *interrupting* “I’m not handling emergencies anymore. Call [Animal Clinic], instead.”

Dad: “They don’t offer emergency services anymore. Please, we just need to have it—”

Vet: *interrupting again* “Go and call [Animal Clinic]. Good night.” *hangs up*

(We just looked at each other in disbelief. Desperate to relieve our poor pet, we had no other choice but drive over 20 miles to a different vet that had emergency services, in the middle of the night, in a snowstorm, with a severely cramping chinchilla in our hands. To this day, I can’t believe that a vet, who explicitly offers emergency services on both his website and answering machine, refused to even listen to what we wanted.)
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A Vision Of Incompetence

Chicago, Doctor, Illinois, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, Nurse, USA | Healthy | February 18, 2018


(I am a college student. I have learned of a summertime job, as a “gopher” — office boy — with a local railroad. I arrive at the office where I receive initial training in my duties, and then I am given a piece of paper — ordering a pre-employment physical — that I am supposed to take to the railroad’s doctor’s office. Since I recently passed my college physical, I have no qualms about the pre-employment physical. I drive to the doctor’s office. I note that the waiting room is empty, and there seems to be nobody around.)

Me: “Hello, is anybody here?”

Nurse: *a few minutes later, while eating an apple* “The doctor is out having lunch. What do you need?”

Me: “I am here for a [Railroad] physical.”

Nurse: *chomps on apple* “Okay. I can start that. Sit in the exam chair, and read the eye chart on the wall.” *chomp*

Me: “Do you want me to do that with my glasses on or off?”

Nurse: *chomp, chomp, long pause* “Um, take your glasses off.”

Me: “Should I do this with both eyes open?”

Nurse: *chomp* “Um… Take this thing and cover your left eye.”

Me: “Okay… E.”

Nurse: “Can you read any more?”

Me: “No, I am near-sighted, but my distance vision is 20/20 or better with each eye with my glasses on.”

Nurse: *another long pause, throws away apple core* “I hear the doctor. You must see him now!”

(I then put my glasses on and walk out to the waiting room, where the doctor is apparently reading my physical report. The doctor takes out a pencil with red lead at one end and blue at the other…)

Doctor: “What color is this?” *making a red line on the back of my physical report*

Me: “Red.”

Doctor: “And what color is this?” *making a blue line on the same piece of paper*

Me: “Blue.”

Doctor: “Okay, you can go home now. The railroad will call you later.”

(A day goes by, and I get a call from the railroad.)

Railroad Guy: “Sorry, we can’t hire you.”

Me: “Why not?”

Railroad Guy: “You failed your physical. You can’t see well enough to work here.”

Me: “My vision is corrected to 20/20 in each eye, but the nurse never checked that.”

Railroad Guy: “Maybe so, but you could be hit by a train if your glasses fell off while you were crossing the tracks.”

(I guess I never was qualified to be “workin’ on the railroad,” but I got a better summer job soon after, and not all was lost.)
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Old 10-04-2019   #4899
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The Hippokkkratic Oath

Bigotry, Comeuppance, Hospital, Nurse, USA | Healthy | February 17, 2018


(I work at a detention center, and we are holding two big-name KKK leaders. Both were on TV after their arrest, since they have supposedly attacked one of their own. One of them has to be taken to the hospital for something and he has two male officers escorting him. They are seen in the ER by a tiny nurse.)

Nurse: “Mister… [Inmate]?”

Inmate: “Yeah?”

Nurse: “I see one of your vaccines hasn’t been updated; did you want to take care of that?”

Inmate: “Yeah, why not? The state’s paying for it.”

(The nurse starts humming as she prepares the injection and then proceeds to clean a site on his leg.)

Nurse: “Ready?”

Inmate: “Go for it.”

(The nurse suddenly stabs the needle into his leg, making both the officers cringe in sympathy as the man howls.)

Nurse: “There we go! All done.”

Inmate: “What kind of nurse are you?”

Nurse: “A loving Christian woman who doesn’t judge one’s skin color.”

(It was then that the inmate realized she had seen his face on the six o’clock news.)
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Old 10-04-2019   #4900
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You Could Be Having A Ball

Doctor, Edinburgh, Hospital, Rude & Risque, Scotland, UK | Healthy | February 16, 2018


(I am about to have a vasectomy, under a local anaesthetic. The female surgeon and I having been making general chat, and she now approaches with the needle to inject me with the anaesthetic.)

Me: “No jokes about ‘just a little prick’?”

Surgeon: “I’m not allowed to… anymore.”
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