It’s An Emergency! But It Can Wait. JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 7, 2020

Unfiltered Story #160120
MINNESOTA, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | AUGUST 15, 2019
( I’m a in-training pharmacy technician in Walgreens and today was one of our busier days of the week.)

Me: Welcome to Walgreens! Are you picking up today?

Customer: Yes

Me: Can I have your last name?

Customer: It’s (XXXXXXX).

Me: And your first name?

Customer: (XXXXXX)

Me: Alright, Looks like I have two ready for you. Give me a few seconds to grab that.
*I ran around the back of the shelf were we keep are prescriptions and start looking for his name. I found his two prescriptions, which were diapers, and one of them had a note written on it. “Does he want both? See Pharmacist.” After reading, I go to the pharmacist. *
Me: This patient is here to pick these up. *Holds up both bags of diapers*

Pharmacist: *she looks at them* We receive two scripts from his doctor for both. Ask him for which he wants or if he wants both.

Me: Okay. *goes back to the front* So it looks like we received two scripts from your doctor for two brands of diapers. There’s [ Brand 1], which we have 17 of for you, and [brand 2] which is a completion because you picked up 47 earlier.

Customer: Oh I can get both? Great. And I talked to my insurance and they said that they will cover 150 of the diapers every month, so can I get 150 of [brand 1] and 150 of [brand 2] ?

Me: Umm Let me ask my pharmacist that. *runs to the back to tell her what’s going on before she tells me that we can’t do that because they look at Diapers, not by individual brand. I turn back to tell the customer what the pharmacist told me.* So it looks like we can’t do that because your insurance looks at the total diapers and not by individual brands. So by the insurance’s records, you’ve already picked up 150 diapers, including the two I’m hold in my hands.

Customer: No. I didn’t pick up 150. And these two are not the same so they can’t be counted together. *points to brand 1* It’s like these are apples and those *points to brand 2* are oranges. They aren’t the same. You’d think in this time of the world, with out technologically advanced we are, all the answers we want are just a few types away. Then we won’t have to deal with all this brain damage.

Me: …. *nods a long* Umm.. Let me see if my pharmacist knows of an override code that could help us. *Turns to the pharmacist for help because There is NOTHING that I can do, legally.* I need your help…. he’s still going on and on.

Pharmacist: *she walks out* Hi. What seems to be the problem here?

Customer: She’s telling me that I’ve already picked up 150 diapers already.

Pharmacist: Yes that is right, that is what we have on file. *she pulls up his profile on the computer* It looks like you picked up a partial fill last week, 47 of [brand 2]. And with the 17 of [brand 1] and the 84 of [brand 2], that makes up the 150 of this month.

Customer: No. I never picked up any last week.

Pharmacist: If you want, I can call the manager to check the cameras to see who picked it up for you last week.

Customer: No, just give me the 150 of the [brand 1].

Pharmacist: I can’t do that because you’ve already picked up 47 of [brand 2] and you have to complete the doctor’s prescription of 131 diapers of [brand 2].

Customer: *he sighs* But they aren’t the same! You don’t understand! *he points to brand 1* This is like a man that has a penis! And *points to brand 2* this is like a woman that has a vagina! Now. They are NOT the same! Can’t you get the manager or someone that knows what they’re doing to solve this. We are in a technology advanced world! Shouldn’t everything be just a few clicks away on the computer and then we wouldn’t have to suffer brain damage from all of this?!

Pharmacist: …. *A small… awkward pause because she was just absorbing what he said, being that she is the Pharmacy manager….* If you want, I can give your insurance a call to see if they can revert it but again, it will only be able to work starting next month. I can also leave a note in your chart saying to only use [brand 1] as well but this will only be able to go into effect next month when the insurance will start paying for 150.

Customer: *he sighs* Fine, give them a call and call me when you find an answer. But [brand 1] and [brand 2] ARE NOT THE SAME. *he leaves*

Pharmacist: *she just smiles* Have a good day, sir. *she walks quickly back to work area, shaking her head* Anyone up for burgers? My treat.

** Brand 1 and Brand 2 are both diapers, but under two different brands. Example, Huggies and Pampers are both diapers but under different brands.

Wasn’t A Hard Decision
HEALTH & BODY, NON-DIALOGUE, PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | AUGUST 12, 2019
I was working at the drive-thru window at the pharmacy. A customer pulled up and I asked for his name and date of birth. After he replied, I went to get his prescription out of the waiting bin. I informed him that his insurance did not cover this medication; most insurances do not because it is for erectile dysfunction.

He asked me for the cash price and I told him it was roughly 120 dollars for four pills.

He looked at his wife who was in the passenger seat, looked at me, said, “F*** that. I don’t need a hard-on that bad,” and sped away.

Be Careful Where You Insert That Battery
AUSTRIA, PHARMACY, STUPID, VIENNA | RIGHT | JULY 31, 2019
Customer: “I need a medical thermometer.”

Me: “A digital one that’s battery-operated or a glass one without a battery?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

(Since a digital one gives results faster, I grab one and hand it to the customer.)

Customer: “Oh, no, I’ve got one of these at home, but it has no battery, and it’s not working!”

Me: “These run all on battery. Maybe the battery in yours is empty.”

Customer: *thinking hard for a minute* “Maybe that’s why it’s not working anymore.”

Me: *internal facepalm*

Give A Dog A Bone
MICHIGAN, PETS & ANIMALS, PHARMACY, RETAIL, RUDE & RISQUE, USA | HEALTHY | JULY 11, 2019
(One day at work, I hear my pharmacist and another technician talking about an unusual prescription that’s come in. Curious, I switch to a computer nearby and find them discussing a dog who’s been prescribed the generic for Viagra. Apparently, a recent study has indicated that it may be helpful for relieving coughing in dogs, for some reason, and we spend some time discussing how it might work in that regard. Later, as I’m working on the computer and she’s filling prescriptions behind me, she glances up and leans toward me, chuckling.)

Pharmacist: “You know, it’s hard enough for a person to talk to their doctor about this type of medication. I’d think it’d have to be even harder for a dog!”

Me: *playing along* “Well, yeah. Besides not being able to talk, it’s gotta be way more embarrassing for them, with everything all hanging out and no way to disguise it.”

(After a few moments.)

Me: “I can totally see the commercials, though. This gorgeous Golden Retriever stud going ‘Once, I was the laughing stock of the breeding kennel. But now, I’m back to being top dog, thanks to Viagra!’”

Pharmacist: *cracking up* “See, none of the other health care professions get to enjoy jokes like this.”

(I love my coworkers.)

Unfiltered Story #155148
PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | JUNE 23, 2019
This happens all the time.

*customer walks up *

Me: Hello!

Customer: Hi, I need to pick up, my doctor called something in earlier.

Me: OK, what’s your name?

Customer: Dr. Blank called it in.

Me: What’s your-

Customer: I think it was for lispil *they usually mean lisinopril, pronounced like it looks*

Me: What’s-

Customer: It was about 2 hours ago, can’t you find it?

Me: *firm voice* What is your NAME?

Customer: Oh! Jane.

Me: And your last name? *medications are sorted by last name*

Customer: *last name*

Me: *finds medication and rings them out*

Honestly, it’s like pulling teeth.

Unfiltered Story #152444
CANADA, PHARMACY, SASKATCHEWAN | UNFILTERED | MAY 29, 2019
I worked at a pharmacy that was surrounded but seniors homes, so this made up the majority of our clientele, the pharmacy was in a mall which included a grocery store, when the grocery store was closed for Reno’s we brought in some basic staples like milk and bread and continued carrying them after the grocery store re-opened. our suplly was limited we carried only small CARTONS of milk, no jugs.

customerwith a jug of milk) I want to return this, its passed the expiry date, and I lost the receipt.

me: Ma’am you didn’t purchase this from us, so I cannot process a return

customer: excuse me?! I KNOW where I purchased my milk from, I got from here and you need to return it for me!

me: we do not carry jugs of milk ma’am, only cartons, so you cannot possibly have purchased it from us, perhaps you got it from the grocery store down the hall?

(note I look a lot younger then I am, it is very likely the customer presumed I was in school and only worked part time)
Customer: I bought it from from here, you just must not have been here when the jugs came in.

me: Ma’am we are only open 9 hours a day Monday to Sat and 4 hours on Sundays and I work 8 of those hours Mon-Sat and all of them on Sundays. I place and accept all the orders, I am telling you, we have never had jugged milk in stock, you did not purchase this from us.

Customer:….. oh..sorry *hangs her head and leaves*:

Obama Drama, Part 7
BIZARRE, JERK, LOUISIANA, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | MAY 21, 2019
(It is during the Obama presidency. The pharmacy phone rings.)

Caller: “I want to check and see if my prescription is ready.”

Me: “Sure. Could I get your information?”

(I look up the patient and see that his insurance wants additional paperwork from the doctor before they will pay for the medication. This is a VERY common problem, especially for expensive or name-brand medication.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it looks like your prescription isn’t ready because we are still waiting for the doctor to file some additional paperwork with the insurance company.”

Caller: “What do you mean? I was told that my prescription would be ready by five! Why isn’t it ready?”

Me: “Sir, this medication is name-brand and very expensive. Your insurance company doesn’t want to pay for it unless your doctor provides additional paperwork stating that it is medically necessary.”

Caller: “Well, of course it’s medically necessary! My doctor wrote it for me, so I need it! This is ridiculous. I need my medicine!”

Me: “I apologize for that, sir. If you’d like to pay the cash price of [several hundred dollars], I can have your prescription ready in about ten minutes. But unfortunately, if you want your insurance to cover it, you may want to try calling your doctor and making sure he’s filled out the paperwork we faxed to him.”

Caller: “This has nothing to do with my insurance company! You know what this is? This is that ‘Obama-Care’ and his death panels! He’s just trying to kill off all of us old people! I don’t know how he even got in office; he’s a Kenyan!”

(The caller continues spouting out conspiracy theories for another five minutes.)

Caller: “Well, I think I’ve wasted enough of your time. Goodnight.” *click*

Me: “…”

Obama Drama, Part 6
BIZARRE, EMPLOYEES, MASSACHUSETTS, POLITICS, RETAIL, USA | WORKING | JANUARY 31, 2019
(I work in a major retail chain. One night, we get an unusual truck delivery. Our manager is waiting by the dock with us as we get ready to unload it.)

Manager: *sigh* “All right, everyone. This is going to seem crazy, but I’ve confirmed with the home office that the delivery inside is definitely intended to be ours just the way it is, so just go with it.”

Coworker: “Wait. What the heck is inside?”

Manager: “You’ll see.”

(Shortly after, the truck driver opens the door to reveal an absolutely absurd amount of tangerines. My coworkers and I alternate between staring at the tangerines in amazement and each other in shock and confusion.)

Coworker: “There’s no way this is right. I get that we’re a busy supercenter and all, but there’s no way even we can sell all these oranges before a whole bunch goes bad.”

Manager: “Yep, that’s how I feel, but apparently someone higher up than me disagrees.”

Me: *as I’m sliding my pallet jack under the first pallet* “What reason could there possibly be to make this seem like a good idea?”

Driver: “You want to know what these oranges are for? This is all about that Obamacare!”

(Suddenly, everyone stops what they’re doing to process what the driver has said.)

Manager: “What… What does that have to do with oranges? No, actually, what does that have to do with anything right now?”

Driver: “That’s Obamacare for you; it doesn’t make any sense!”

(We quickly gave up trying to figure out what the driver was talking about. For the next week, all our nightly meetings included a manager urging us all to get a bag of tangerines on the way home. Once the story of the delivery had spread, we would all say goodbye to each other with, “Don’t forget your Obamacare oranges!”)

Obama Drama, Part 5
AT THE CHECKOUT, JERK, RETAIL, TENNESSEE, USA | RIGHT | JULY 8, 2018
(At the store where I work, it is policy to card for ALL tobacco and alcohol purchases. It doesn’t matter if the person has grey hair and more wrinkles than a Shar Pei; we still have to card them. Failure to card can lose me my job and cost me and the store a hefty fine. The customer I am serving here appears to be in at least his 60s.)

Customer: “I’ll take a can of [chewing tobacco], please.”

Me: “Certainly.” *unlocks the tobacco cabinet and gets out the can* “May I see your ID, please?”

Customer: “You’re kidding me!”

Customer’s Buddy: “The state of things now! Is this an Obama rule? This is ridiculous how things are nowadays! Is his one of Obama’s rules?”

Me: “No, it is a store rule.”

Customer & His Buddy: *laughs* “A store rule?!”

(The customer handed me his ID, I typed in the birthdate and told him his total, and he paid and left, both of them still laughing. This is not the first time a customer has railed about “Obama taking away their rights” when asked for ID.)

Obama Drama, Part 4
BIZARRE, JERK, MISSOURI, RETAIL, SILLY, USA | RIGHT | JANUARY 15, 2018
(I work at an office supply store in the printing department. It is a Saturday evening, and a coworker and I are currently putting out ads for the next week. We have just closed our doors, and everything is going fine until we get a call. I don’t pay much attention until my coworker calls me over to take it, as it is for my department. Keep in mind that we are currently closed.)

Me: “Thank you for holding. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I was wondering if I could get a price quote on some prints?”

Me: “Sure thing! What are you looking to get?”

(The customer proceeds to describe what he wants, which goes on for a few minutes. The conversation goes well, nothing out of the ordinary, until we reach the end of the conversation.)

Customer: “Sounds good! What time do you all close?”

Me: “We closed about 15 minutes ago, sir, but we open back up at 10:00 tomorrow morning.”

Customer: “Aw, man, really? I am actually just right outside. Could you make an exception?”

Me: “No, I’m afraid not, but like I said, we open back up tomorrow.”

Customer: “But I’m from out of town and I really need this done.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we are closed.”

Customer: “But I’m from Texas; does that change anything?”

Me: “Unfortunately not, sir. We are still closed, regardless.”

(We go back and forth like this for several minutes. He is getting irate the longer it goes on, and so am I. I try to keep the friendliest voice I can muster. It seems like he has finally decided to give up, until the customer says something I never expected.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Like I said before, we are closed.”

Customer: *in a threatening tone* “Do I need to call Obama to confirm that you’re closed?”

Me: *legitimately speechless*

Customer: *click*

(After I hung up the phone, I told my coworker and manager. They both got a pretty good kick out of it! It was the strangest phone call I have ever received. We also never did get that phone call from Obama.)

Obama Drama, Part 3
POST OFFICE | RIGHT | MAY 25, 2016
(It’s the day before taxes are due and a few last minute customers are mailing out their returns. Customer #1 is addressing his envelope while Customer #2 is filling out a money order for a payment.)

Customer #1 : “I really got hit this year!”

Customer #2 : *murmurs sympathetically*

Customer #1 : “But I guess I’m just stuck paying like this until we get a Republican governor again.”

Customer #2 : *glances at him* “Yeah…?”

(There’s a slight pause as Customer #1 thinks.)

Customer #1 : “We’ve got a Republican governor right now, don’t we?”

Customer #2 : “Yup!”

(The Republican governor had already been in office three years; he was preceded by another Republican.)

Unfiltered Story #163255
PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | SEPTEMBER 16, 2019
(Please note that any and all patient-specific information has been completely redacted from this story, so that the edited anecdote below is entirely HIPAA-compliant.) The pharmacy I work at is located inside a grocery store, and we can ring out items from the main store also, but only about as many as an express line can take (not a whole cart full). We also do not have a scale in the pharmacy, so we can only ring out produce that is pre-bagged with a bar code or is sold by quantity and not by weight. I was working alone shortly before closing on a weekend, when somebody came by to pick up medicine for their spouse. One of the prescriptions was a brand name medicine with a high copay. The person whined about the cost (which was set by the insurance company, not the pharmacy) briefly, then asked me to ring out their grocery items because they only had one check with them and no credit card. They had an overflowing cart with well over a hundred dollars of merchandise, which included at least three items I could immediately see that have to be weighed. I informed the person that I cannot do that, but the cashiers for the main store can scan the grocery items, print a slip for them to bring back to the pharmacy, and then they could pay for both the cart of food and the medicines on one check (this is not the first time something like this has happened, and usually isn’t that big of a deal). I also politely asked the person to please take care of this immediately, because the pharmacy was supposed to be closing in about ten minutes. Fast forward to at least fifteen minutes later. The person is back, and sits down on the bench in front of the pharmacy to proceed to hunt through their pockets and bag for their check. Five or ten minutes later they give up, and inform me that they are going to pay with cash (why they didn’t do that in the first place I will never know). Eventually, they pull out exactly the amount of cash except for the change portion, and seem confused when I inform them that I need an additional $0.xx. In the end, I give up on them finding enough change and raid the take-a-penny-leave-a-penny (which thankfully happened to have a dime and a nickel in it in addition to the pennies, for some unfathomable reason) for the last few cents so I can go home.

Unfiltered Story #162040
CHARLESTON, ILLINOIS, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | SEPTEMBER 5, 2019
(I’m the customer in this story, sadly enough. I’m a student at a state college and I have to walk seven-ish blocks to a big-chain drugstore in town to get my prescriptions filled, as two of them can’t be filled at the school pharmacy. On the way to the pharmacy at the back, I stop and grab a drink.

Me: “Hi! I have a prescription to fill, and I’d also like to pay for this before I forget.” (I hand the pharmacist my drink, which I’ve finished half of.)

Pharmacist: “Fine by me! That’ll be [total].”

(It’s only when I reach into my purse that I realize it’s quite a bit lighter than it usually is.)

Me: “Oh, ****.”

(I dig around for several minutes, trying to find some loose change, but I come up empty-handed.)

Me: “****, I left my wallet in my dorm… I am SO sorry!”

(The only person in line behind me reaches into his pocket.)

Other Customer: “How much is it?”

Pharmacist: “No need, sir. I’ll get my manager, see what we can do.”

(She calls up her manager.)

Manager: “I’ll cover the cost. I could technically have you arrested for theft, but I’m going to be nice and let you off easy. Don’t consume anything until you know you can pay for it from now on, okay?”

Me: “Thank you so much!”

(I sit down and wait for my prescription to be filled. Eventually the pharmacist emerges instead of calling my name.)

Pharmacist: “Okay, your prescription is ready…but it’s [cost].”

(My heart sinks, but I smile.)

Me: “That’s all right. Can you hold it for me? It may take me about [time] to get back.”

Pharmacist: “Of course.”

(I walk the seven or so blocks to my dorm and back, now with my wallet. Thirsty again, I grab another drink but make a point of not opening it.)

Me: “Hi, I have a prescription ready to pick up under [My Name], and could you ring this up twice, please?”

(The manager tried to insist that he’d cover the cost, but I was more than happy to buy two drinks for the cost of a drink and a half.)

Unfiltered Story #160170
MINNESOTA, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | AUGUST 20, 2019
( I work in a pharmacy as a technician.)

Co-worker: *slams phone on holder* ….. How long was I on the phone?

Me: 15 minutes.

Co-worker: I just spent 15 minutes convincing a woman not to put a tampon into her urethra. I don’t know who told her that it was a good idea to put a tampon into her urethra. *shakes her head while I’m curled over the counter laughing* She even asked me THREE times!

*Two hours later*
Co-worker: You remember the person I was on the phone with a few hours ago?

Me: The tampon lady?

Co-worker: Yea, I found what she was talking about. I was walking through one of the isles and this was on the floor so I was going to throw it away but I looked at it. *she shows me the leaflet and I start laughing again*

Me: But this goes into the vagina! Not the urethra! It’s… just really wide at the base…. but does it even support it?

Co-worker: *snorts* No. And I still wouldn’t recommend it to anyone to use.

Unfiltered Story #160120
MINNESOTA, PHARMACY, USA | UNFILTERED | AUGUST 15, 2019
( I’m a in-training pharmacy technician in Walgreens and today was one of our busier days of the week.)

Me: Welcome to Walgreens! Are you picking up today?

Customer: Yes

Me: Can I have your last name?

Customer: It’s (XXXXXXX).

Me: And your first name?

Customer: (XXXXXX)

Me: Alright, Looks like I have two ready for you. Give me a few seconds to grab that.
*I ran around the back of the shelf were we keep are prescriptions and start looking for his name. I found his two prescriptions, which were diapers, and one of them had a note written on it. “Does he want both? See Pharmacist.” After reading, I go to the pharmacist. *
Me: This patient is here to pick these up. *Holds up both bags of diapers*

Pharmacist: *she looks at them* We receive two scripts from his doctor for both. Ask him for which he wants or if he wants both.

Me: Okay. *goes back to the front* So it looks like we received two scripts from your doctor for two brands of diapers. There’s [ Brand 1], which we have 17 of for you, and [brand 2] which is a completion because you picked up 47 earlier.

Customer: Oh I can get both? Great. And I talked to my insurance and they said that they will cover 150 of the diapers every month, so can I get 150 of [brand 1] and 150 of [brand 2] ?

Me: Umm Let me ask my pharmacist that. *runs to the back to tell her what’s going on before she tells me that we can’t do that because they look at Diapers, not by individual brand. I turn back to tell the customer what the pharmacist told me.* So it looks like we can’t do that because your insurance looks at the total diapers and not by individual brands. So by the insurance’s records, you’ve already picked up 150 diapers, including the two I’m hold in my hands.

Customer: No. I didn’t pick up 150. And these two are not the same so they can’t be counted together. *points to brand 1* It’s like these are apples and those *points to brand 2* are oranges. They aren’t the same. You’d think in this time of the world, with out technologically advanced we are, all the answers we want are just a few types away. Then we won’t have to deal with all this brain damage.

Me: …. *nods a long* Umm.. Let me see if my pharmacist knows of an override code that could help us. *Turns to the pharmacist for help because There is NOTHING that I can do, legally.* I need your help…. he’s still going on and on.

Pharmacist: *she walks out* Hi. What seems to be the problem here?

Customer: She’s telling me that I’ve already picked up 150 diapers already.

Pharmacist: Yes that is right, that is what we have on file. *she pulls up his profile on the computer* It looks like you picked up a partial fill last week, 47 of [brand 2]. And with the 17 of [brand 1] and the 84 of [brand 2], that makes up the 150 of this month.

Customer: No. I never picked up any last week.

Pharmacist: If you want, I can call the manager to check the cameras to see who picked it up for you last week.

Customer: No, just give me the 150 of the [brand 1].

Pharmacist: I can’t do that because you’ve already picked up 47 of [brand 2] and you have to complete the doctor’s prescription of 131 diapers of [brand 2].

Customer: *he sighs* But they aren’t the same! You don’t understand! *he points to brand 1* This is like a man that has a penis! And *points to brand 2* this is like a woman that has a vagina! Now. They are NOT the same! Can’t you get the manager or someone that knows what they’re doing to solve this. We are in a technology advanced world! Shouldn’t everything be just a few clicks away on the computer and then we wouldn’t have to suffer brain damage from all of this?!

Pharmacist: …. *A small… awkward pause because she was just absorbing what he said, being that she is the Pharmacy manager….* If you want, I can give your insurance a call to see if they can revert it but again, it will only be able to work starting next month. I can also leave a note in your chart saying to only use [brand 1] as well but this will only be able to go into effect next month when the insurance will start paying for 150.

Customer: *he sighs* Fine, give them a call and call me when you find an answer. But [brand 1] and [brand 2] ARE NOT THE SAME. *he leaves*

Pharmacist: *she just smiles* Have a good day, sir. *she walks quickly back to work area, shaking her head* Anyone up for burgers? My treat.

** Brand 1 and Brand 2 are both diapers, but under two different brands. Example, Huggies and Pampers are both diapers but under different brands.

Wasn’t A Hard Decision
HEALTH & BODY, NON-DIALOGUE, PENNSYLVANIA, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | AUGUST 12, 2019
I was working at the drive-thru window at the pharmacy. A customer pulled up and I asked for his name and date of birth. After he replied, I went to get his prescription out of the waiting bin. I informed him that his insurance did not cover this medication; most insurances do not because it is for erectile dysfunction.

He asked me for the cash price and I told him it was roughly 120 dollars for four pills.

He looked at his wife who was in the passenger seat, looked at me, said, “F*** that. I don’t need a hard-on that bad,” and sped away.

Be Careful Where You Insert That Battery
AUSTRIA, PHARMACY, STUPID, VIENNA | RIGHT | JULY 31, 2019
Customer: “I need a medical thermometer.”

Me: “A digital one that’s battery-operated or a glass one without a battery?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

(Since a digital one gives results faster, I grab one and hand it to the customer.)

Customer: “Oh, no, I’ve got one of these at home, but it has no battery, and it’s not working!”

Me: “These run all on battery. Maybe the battery in yours is empty.”

Customer: *thinking hard for a minute* “Maybe that’s why it’s not working anymore.”

Me: *internal facepalm*

Give A Dog A Bone
MICHIGAN, PETS & ANIMALS, PHARMACY, RETAIL, RUDE & RISQUE, USA | HEALTHY | JULY 11, 2019
(One day at work, I hear my pharmacist and another technician talking about an unusual prescription that’s come in. Curious, I switch to a computer nearby and find them discussing a dog who’s been prescribed the generic for Viagra. Apparently, a recent study has indicated that it may be helpful for relieving coughing in dogs, for some reason, and we spend some time discussing how it might work in that regard. Later, as I’m working on the computer and she’s filling prescriptions behind me, she glances up and leans toward me, chuckling.)

Pharmacist: “You know, it’s hard enough for a person to talk to their doctor about this type of medication. I’d think it’d have to be even harder for a dog!”

Me: *playing along* “Well, yeah. Besides not being able to talk, it’s gotta be way more embarrassing for them, with everything all hanging out and no way to disguise it.”

(After a few moments.)

Me: “I can totally see the commercials, though. This gorgeous Golden Retriever stud going ‘Once, I was the laughing stock of the breeding kennel. But now, I’m back to being top dog, thanks to Viagra!’”

Pharmacist: *cracking up* “See, none of the other health care professions get to enjoy jokes like this.”

(I love my coworkers.)

Making The Blood Boil
ENGLAND, HOSPITAL, JERK, LONDON, PATIENTS, UK | HEALTHY | JULY 13, 2019
(I am at the blood bank. There are two clinics running simultaneously: one for regular blood tests and another for pregnancy-related blood, linked with the midwife clinic next door. Regular clinic patients have to abide by the ticket system. The midwife patients do not.)

Phlebotomist: “Ms. [My Name], just come through here, please.”

(I stand up to go through to the chair behind the curtain, only to be pushed out of the way by a middle-aged woman.)

Woman: “I’ve been waiting over an hour for a simple blood test and that girl has only been waiting five minutes. You will take my blood now.”

Phlebotomist: “Ma’am. You need to get out of that chair. I can’t take your blood here. You need to wait until you’re called by someone on the other side.”

Woman: “I’m not moving! I’m number 27! I’m next to be called!”

Phlebotomist: “Fair enough. When’s your due date? Have you fasted for two hours for your prenatal diabetes test?”

Woman: “What are you on about? I’m not here for a diabetes check! I’m not pregnant.”

Me: “Well, I am. So get out of that chair!”

Woman: “Well, I never!”

Me: “Lady, this is the midwives’ clinic. You’re in the wrong place!”

Woman: “I’ve been waiting over an hour!”

Phlebotomist: “Well, you’re going to have to wait longer than that. Security is here to take you away. Come back another day, when you’ve calmed down.”

(She was escorted out and I got my blood done. Her number was called as I left the waiting room.)

Will Need A Sedative For The Husband
ARKANSAS, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, JERK, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, USA | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 25, 2019
(I work as a pharmacy technician. On the weekends, we don’t get drug shipments, which can lead to some… interesting situations.)

Customer: “I need to get this prescription filled. It’s for my wife; she’s at home waiting for it.”

Me: “Certainly, sir, just let me put it into our system.”

(I proceed to enter the patient’s information into our computer.)

Me: “All right, sir, it will be about fifteen minutes.”

Customer: “I’ll just wait right here. She needs it tonight.”

(As we are beginning to fill the prescription, we realize we have none of the medication he needs. The pharmacist calls him over.)

Pharmacist: “Sir, I’m sorry, but we don’t have any of this medicine here. We can order it today and it will be here Monday.”

Customer: “I don’t have time to wait; she needs it tonight!”

Pharmacist: “Well, I can call another pharmacy to see if they have any.”

Customer: “You do that!”

(The pharmacist calls the other store. They have two of the pills, which should be enough to get the man’s wife through the weekend.)

Pharmacist: “Sir, the pharmacy in [Town about thirty minutes away] has enough of this drug to get her through the weekend. Would you like to transfer this prescription there?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to drive that far!”

Pharmacist: “Well, I can call the doctor to see about getting it changed to something we do have.”

Customer: “Fine, call them now! Hurry up. She needs this d*** medicine tonight!”

(The pharmacist calls the doctor. He refuses to change the medicine. The pharmacist explains that the customer is insisting that they need the medication tonight. The doctor informs us that she can wait to start the treatment on Monday without any problems.)

Pharmacist: “Okay, sir, I called the doctor and he wouldn’t change it, but he said it would be fine for your wife to wait until Monday to begin the treatment.”

Customer: “She needs the medicine tonight! I don’t understand why you won’t just give me the d*** pills!”

Pharmacist: “Sir, we don’t have a single one of those pills to give you.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. They had them at the hospital. Why can’t one of you just go to the hospital and get some more of them?! She needs them!”

Pharmacist: “I’m sorry, it’s not legal for us to do that. Your doctor said your wife will be fine until Monday.”

Customer: “Why won’t you just fill my d*** prescription?”

Pharmacist: “Because, sir, we don’t have any of the pills.”

Customer: “This is bulls***. If anything happens to her, it’s your fault!”

(The customer left, angry. He was back on Monday to pick up his wife’s prescription. And guess what? She was fine.)