It’s An Emergency! But It Can Wait. JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 7, 2020

Ensuring A Lack Of Insuring
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 19, 2015
Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I would like to pick up my prescription.”

Me: “Okay, what is your last name?”

Customer: “[Name].”

Me: “I notice that we have not run insurance on this. Let me look into that.”

(I pull her up on the computer and notice we do not have any insurance information on file.)

Me: “We do not have insurance on file for you. Do you have insurance you would like us to bill?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(Usually the customer gets a card out so I give her some time, but she just stares at me waiting, so I ask

Me: “Do you have the card with you?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Right now this costs $89.75, but your insurance should bring that down. We will need the insurance information located on your card to bill them. Would you like some time to go get it?”

Customer: “It has never cost more than $5 before.”

Me: “Okay, hold on.”

(I look to see if we have another file for her that may have her insurance listed but none come up.)

Me: “I’m sorry we don’t have your insurance information. Have you filled with us or at another location? Or could it be under a different last name?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: *frustrated at this point* “Okay, then, there are a few options. You can find your insurance card and we can run it through, or you can pay the $89.75 and come back later with the insurance card for a refund. We have seven days to do a refund in store. After that we would have to send it to corporate and it could take several weeks.”

Customer: “”But it has never cost more than $5.”

Me: “I understand. I am sure the price will go down as soon as we get your insurance information. Would you like to go get your card?”

Customer: “I don’t have a card. I’ve never had a problem before.”

Me: “Where did you get your prescription last?”

Customer: “[Different pharmacy].”

Me: “We are not connected with them and cannot access their files.” *I give her the two options again*

Customer: “This is ridiculous; it should only be $5! You should have my insurance!”

Me: “Actually it is your responsibility to carry your insurance card. Most people carry them in their wallet.”

Customer: *walks away*

Coworker: “She must think your name tag says magician not technician.”

Calling For Backup Without Actually Calling For Backup
PHARMACY | WORKING | FEBRUARY 13, 2015
(I have a stuttering problem that is often under control, except for when I have to talk for an extended period of time. Being put on register, repeating the same phrases, makes this stutter worse and I begin to flub my words, or say the wrong phrases. I am assigned to register duty for my entire shift, even though I normally work stock. We have a code we use over the intercom to request for backup if the lines get too long.)

Me: *going to the speaker so I can call for backup* “Next customer, please! Wow…”

(I immediately catch myself as to what I have just said, and start laughing INTO the speaker while paging for backup.)

Coworker & Manager: *both come up to the register to see me and several customers on the line laughing; they themselves are laughing as well*

Me: “Can you tell I’ve been up here for too long?”

The Test Is Inconclusive
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 6, 2015
(I work as a headmaster and one day drive to the local mall during lunch. One of the teachers asks to ride with me as she has an errand to run. When we get to the mall we split up, and then we meet up at the car a little later to go back to the school. The teacher is nine months pregnant when this happens.)

Teacher: *suddenly laughs, apparently for no reason*

Me: “What?”

Teacher: “I just realized why the shop assistant at the chemist was looking at me as if I am completely nuts!”

Me: “Why?”

Teacher: “Well, one of the girls in my class was really worried that she might be pregnant, and I offered to get a pregnancy test for her. So there I came, waddling in with my huge belly, and I asked where the pregnancy tests were. The look the guy gave me was priceless!”

Can’t Stretch To Accommodate This Call
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 28, 2015
Customer: “Hi, I needed to ask you some questions about condoms.”

Me: “Okay, go ahead.”

Customer: “Well, you see I have a problem. All the condoms seem to be too small and are very tight.”

Me: “Okay, well they do make larger condoms such as Trojan Magnums.”

Customer: “Well, I’ve tried those and even those are too small for me.”

Me: “Well, I’ve never really heard of that, since condoms are designed to be very stretchy.”

Customer: “I’ve just tried all sorts of condoms. What I really need is for you to help me try on the condom.”

Me: *click*

Pretty In Pink-Orange
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 24, 2015
(Last year I dyed my hair bright red, and by October it was starting to fade out to a pink-orange. I was used to getting a lot of comments about my hair and most were positive so I was taken by surprise when I was ringing up an older customer a few days before Halloween.)

Husband: “Is that your real hair?”

Me: “Yes. it is.”

Husband: “Well. I like it. It’s nice. You look very pretty.”

Me: “Thank you.”

(His wife looks at him with a face that says she doesn’t appreciate him complimenting me.)

Husband: *to his wife* “Well, she’s Halloween pretty, anyway.”

Me: “…here’s your receipt. Have a nice night…”

(My manager and I still haven’t figured out if I should take that as a compliment or insult, yet.)

Methadone And Done
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 30, 2014
(I work behind the chemist counter and a lot of addicts come in to get their methadone. This one turns up five minutes before closing.)

Customer: “Here you go.” *hands over her prescription*

Me: “Thanks, I’ll just go get the pharmacist for you.”

(Whilst she’s waiting she notices the slides we used to detach our counter-caches which store all of the notes.)

Customer: “What are those?”

Colleague: “Those get the counter-caches off for us, for cashing up.”

(The customer picks one up and starts playing with it.)

Me: “The pharmacist will be right out.”

Customer: “No problem. In the meantime I’d like one of these.” *hands me the slide for the counter-caches*

Me: *thinking she’s joking* “Um, sorry, I don’t think that’s allowed.”

Customer: “Don’t laugh at me! GIVE ME THE F****** COUNTER THING!”

(It escalated from there. She refused to leave the shop or take her methadone, and we had to call the police and stand there whilst she trashed the store. We ended up staying an hour late to clean it all up. The pharmacist rang her doctor and asked for her to be sent somewhere else for her methadone and possibly be given a stronger dose.)

Pretty In Pink-Orange
PHARMACY | RIGHT | JANUARY 24, 2015
(Last year I dyed my hair bright red, and by October it was starting to fade out to a pink-orange. I was used to getting a lot of comments about my hair and most were positive so I was taken by surprise when I was ringing up an older customer a few days before Halloween.)

Husband: “Is that your real hair?”

Me: “Yes. it is.”

Husband: “Well. I like it. It’s nice. You look very pretty.”

Me: “Thank you.”

(His wife looks at him with a face that says she doesn’t appreciate him complimenting me.)

Husband: *to his wife* “Well, she’s Halloween pretty, anyway.”

Me: “…here’s your receipt. Have a nice night…”

(My manager and I still haven’t figured out if I should take that as a compliment or insult, yet.)

Methadone And Done
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 30, 2014
(I work behind the chemist counter and a lot of addicts come in to get their methadone. This one turns up five minutes before closing.)

Customer: “Here you go.” *hands over her prescription*

Me: “Thanks, I’ll just go get the pharmacist for you.”

(Whilst she’s waiting she notices the slides we used to detach our counter-caches which store all of the notes.)

Customer: “What are those?”

Colleague: “Those get the counter-caches off for us, for cashing up.”

(The customer picks one up and starts playing with it.)

Me: “The pharmacist will be right out.”

Customer: “No problem. In the meantime I’d like one of these.” *hands me the slide for the counter-caches*

Me: *thinking she’s joking* “Um, sorry, I don’t think that’s allowed.”

Customer: “Don’t laugh at me! GIVE ME THE F****** COUNTER THING!”

(It escalated from there. She refused to leave the shop or take her methadone, and we had to call the police and stand there whilst she trashed the store. We ended up staying an hour late to clean it all up. The pharmacist rang her doctor and asked for her to be sent somewhere else for her methadone and possibly be given a stronger dose.)

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 2
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 30, 2014
Customer: “I’m allergic to tree pollen, but I don’t have hay fever, so don’t try to sell me any hay-fever medication!”

New Colleague: “Sir, an allergy to tree pollen is hay fever. If you take these it will help.”

Customer: “It say’s trainee on your badge. You don’t know what you’re talking about! I’d like to speak to a more senior member of staff!”

(The new colleague fetches me. I am 20 years younger than my colleague.)

Me: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

Customer: “I asked to speak to a senior member of staff! Why are you getting involved?!”

Me: “As I’ve been here the longest. I am more than capable of answering any problems you may have.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! You’re a child. You can’t possibly be able to deal with the responsibility! Get me someone more senior!”

(I go and get the pharmacist who has been listening to the whole thing.)

Customer: “Finally, an adult who knows what they’re doing! How can you leave a child in charge of your chemist counter?”

Pharmacist: “Well, sir, [My Name] has passed all of her courses with the highest mark we’ve ever seen in this store, so I’m perfectly happy to let her deal with any queries, but as I’m here – what’s the problem?

Customer: *looking sheepish* “I’m allergic to tree pollen and want something for it.”

Pharmacist: “That’s called hay fever; try an antihistamine.”

Needs A Prescription Of Common Sense
PHARMACY | RIGHT | DECEMBER 3, 2014
(I work in the mail order branch of a popular pharmacy chain. On my way to work I stop by a local retail branch of the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. I happen to be wearing a company t-shirt which, while having the variant of the company name used by the mail order branch, is nothing at all like the uniforms worn by retail employees nor is it at all professional-looking. A woman comes up next to me while I’m waiting at the pharmacy counter.)

Customer: “Excuse me, where are allergy medicines?”

Me: *looking around* “Over there, I think.”

Customer: “What, don’t you know where things are in your own store?”

Me: “Oh, I don’t work here. I actually work at [Mail Order Branch] on [Road].”

Customer: “Oh, ok. So, which kind is safest for my son to use?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “Which allergy medicine is safest for my son? He’s ten.”

Me: “You would really have to ask a pharmacist.”

Customer: “But you said you work for [Company].”

Me: “I just package orders. I’m not a pharmacist.”

Customer: “So why are you at the pharmacy counter?”

Me: “I’m picking up a prescription…”

Customer: “So you can stand here but you can’t help a customer?”

(The pharmacy tech tells me my prescription is ready. I get it and pay, all while the woman stares at me. As I walk away the tech notices the woman standing behind me.)

Pharmacy Tech: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Apparently no one else around here can!”

Pest Control Out Of Control
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 26, 2014
(I work at a local pharmacy.)

Customer: “I need to buy some Raid.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, let’s go look at the display.”

(We walked to the display, and I began showing her various items.)

Me: “Here’s something for ants—”

Customer: “No, I don’t need that.”

Me: “Okay. Um, here’s something for roaches.”

Customer: “No, I don’t have roaches.”

Me: “Do you have hornets or wasps or something?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Ma’am, can you tell me a little more about what, exactly, you need the Raid for?”

Customer: “My son has lice.”

Me: “Oh! Oh, God. No, ma’am, you don’t want Raid. You want Rid. Please don’t spray Raid on your son’s head!”

Dolled Up And Priced Down
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 21, 2014
(I work at a small mom and pop pharmacy. We are having a buy-one-get-one sale on some collectible dolls. A middle-aged female customer is browsing the collectibles. There are six different dolls, each a different color. I happen to be at the counter where they are displayed.)

Me: “Hello, I see you are interested in these dolls.”

Customer: “Yes, but I’m unsure which one to get.”

Me: “Well, we are having a sale on them.”

Customer: “I see.”

Me: “Well, just inform me which ones you decide on.”

Customer: *eyes light up* “I can get more than one!?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “How much for one?”

Me: “$14.50.”

(The customer starts counting on her fingers, then sighs.)

Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I only have enough money for three of them.”

(I am confused.)

Customer: “Even with your sale, I would only get be able to get four.”

(I figure out what is the misunderstanding in her logic.)

Me: “How about this, you buy three and I’ll give you the other three on the house?”

Customer: “You will won’t you get in trouble for that?”

Me: “I won’t tell if you won’t tell.”

(I got her dolls and rang her up. She kinda skipped out of the store.)

Automated And Medicated
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 20, 2014
(We are the busiest pharmacy in the area, and this day is no exception. To make matters worse, we are short-staffed and our delivery truck is several hours late. I am running the drive-thru at about 6 pm, which is about 10 cars deep.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m here to pick up a prescription for [Name].”

Me: “It looks like we were out of stock of that medication, but let me check to see if it arrived on the truck.”

(I check the delivery record and we did receive the medication. However, because none of the boxes are put up, and it is the middle of the evening rush, we won’t be able to fill the order for a few hours.)

Me: “Ma’am, we did receive the medication on the truck, but we haven’t had a chance to unload the boxes yet, so if you would like to check back this evening…”

Customer: “I was told it would be ready this afternoon!”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am. Normally we would have it ready then but our truck just arrived less than an hour ago and we haven’t been able to put away the medication yet.”

Customer: “Well, someone should have called me to tell me it wasn’t ready! I drove all the way from [20 minutes away] to get my medicine and it’s not even ready!”

Me: “Are you signed up for our automated calls and text messages?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “…and you got a call or text telling you your prescription was ready?”

Customer: “Well… no…”

Me: “…”

(The customer gave me a dirty look as she angrily drove away.)

Their Attitude Stinks
PHARMACY | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 14, 2014
(An order comes to my pharmacy for a well-known antibiotic. This antibiotic is known to smell exactly like rotten eggs, so most of us just hold our breath while we count it and try not to think about it too much. We dispense it to a woman who is picking it up for her teenage son. Everything is normal and she leaves with the prescription, but about 10 minutes later she comes stomping back into the pharmacy, pretty much shoves the person that I am currently helping out of the way, and throws the bottle of medication on the counter.)

Customer: “I want to speak to your manager right now! You guys gave me rotten medication!”

Me: “Really? Let me look at the expiration date on your bottle. Normally we don’t keep anything that has one less than a year away.”

(I look at the bottle and see that the pharmacist wrote a date of over a year away, and I go over to our stock bottle and check and the numbers correspond with each other.)

Me: “Hmm. Well, ma’am, it doesn’t look like this medication is expired but I will have the phar—”

Customer: “You are just lying! I mean, come on and open that bottle! It smells totally rotten! I can’t believe that you would ever give someone bad medication! My son is very very ill!”

Me: “Oh, that’s just because the active chemical that is in this medication has a bad smell. Trust me, I wish there was something that we could do about it back here, too. Most of us hold our breath while we count it.”

Customer: “Stop ****** lying to me. You just don’t want to admit you did something wrong! I will have your job for this, b****!

(At this point the pharmacist who has been listening the whole time walks over.)

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, while I don’t like the fact that you are calling my staff names like that I will let you know two things. One is, certain chemicals have a bad smell. It’s just a fact of life. So, while I know that smell is unpleasant, it’s just one of those side effects that come with being able to take medications that will help your sick son. I assure you it’s supposed to smell that bad. If it didn’t, it wouldn’t work right. Two, since you don’t seem to want to listen to my employees and call them awful names, this will be the last time that you or any members of your family can shop or fill any type of medication here. Maybe in the future you can learn how to treat people the way you want to be treated.”

(The woman proceeded to turn bright red with embarrassment and tried to apologize, but my boss wouldn’t hear it. That was almost two years ago and he still will not allow her or her family to fill their prescriptions at his pharmacy.)

Allergic Overreaction
PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 27, 2014
(I work at a large chemist’s shop in North Yorkshire. I am about halfway through my shift when a woman comes running into the shop and up to the register. She is scratching herself really fast and making weird faces.)

Me: “Good morning, ma’am. How can I help you?”

Customer: “ALLERGIC REACTION!”

Me: “I’m sorry…?”

Customer: “ALLERGIC REACTION!”

Me: “Okay… what about it?”

Customer: “ARE YOU STUPID OR WHAT? I NEED MEDICINE! ALLERGIC REACTION!”

(I was quite alarmed by this point and other customers in the shop were starting to stare.)

Me: “Right, what caused your reaction? Is it animal related, or—”

Customer: *scratching like mad* “I DON’T KNOW! ALLERGIC REACTION!”

Me: “Yes, but to give you the correct medication we need to know what caused your reaction. What—”

Customer: “I DON’T F****** KNOW WHAT CAUSED IT! ALLERGIC REACTION! GIVE ME SOMETHING TO MAKE IT STOP ITCHING!”

Me: “But, ma’am…”

(The customer was now running around the store pulling items from the shelves before throwing them to the ground.)

Customer: “WHERE IS THE F****** ALLERGIC REACTION MEDICINE? I NEED IT NOW!”

(The manager, hearing the commotion, runs out from the back room.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I NEED MEDICATION FOR AN ALLERGIC REACTION AND THIS F****** S*** WON’T GIVE ME IT!”

Manager: “What caused your reaction, ma’am?”

Customer: “I. DON’T. F******. KNOW!”

Manager: “In that case we can’t help you. Have a nice day, ma’am.”

Customer: “F*** YOU! WHEN I DIE I’M GONNA COME GET YOU FIRED!”

(The customer runs out of the store screaming ‘ALLERGIC REACTION!’)

No Follicular Coupon Is A Folly
PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 21, 2014
(A man comes up to the pharmacy registers to purchase a bottle of hair growth product. These items come with coupons attached to the box so customers receive instant savings.)

Customer: “I’d like to purchase this, and I have a coupon for it.”

Me: “Excellent. I’ll ring this up for you.”

Customer: “I also have two coupons from previous boxes that I forgot to use before but I don’t have them with me. You can just take the ten dollars off my purchase now, though.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but unfortunately I can only use one coupon per purchase of this item as it says here at the bottom of the coupon.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t get to use them before so I would like to use them now.”

Me: “So you would like me to give you a discount for coupons that you do not currently have with you today?”

Customer: “Yes. I don’t see what the problem is.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that’s not the way it works.”

Customer: “Well what do you expect me to do with the coupons, then?”

Me: “Give them to your friends or relatives?”

Customer: “They won’t use them. They have hair!”

Hopefully His First Name Isn’t John
PHARMACY | RIGHT | OCTOBER 13, 2014
(I work in a well-known national chain pharmacy. The particular store that I work in provides medicine to at least half of our well-sized county, so we stay rather busy and have a lot of customers. This exchange happens far more often than it really should

Customer: “I’m here to pick up a prescription.”

Me: “All right, what’s the name?”

Customer: “Johnson.” *or some other common last name*

Me: “Okay, and the first name?”

Customer: “There’s more than one?!”

Me: “…”

A Thought For Your Pennies
PHARMACY | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 24, 2014
(I’m a pharmacy tech working the drive thru. An older customer pulls up, and we go through getting her prescriptions.)

Me: “Okay, your total will be $67.29.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(I go and grab her prescriptions from our waiting bin and come back to finish the transaction.)

Customer: “Was that $68?”

Me: “$67.29.”

Customer: “$67.34?”

Me: *now trying to not laugh* “$67.29”

Customer: “Oh, 29.”

(I looked back at my pharmacist and he’s trying to not crack up while in view of the customer. I finish the transaction and close the window.)

Pharmacist: “Where on earth did she get 34 from?!”

Countering Those At The Counter
PHARMACY | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 21, 2014
(I’m in line at the pharmacy. It’s been a long day, and I just want to pick up my prescription and go home. The customer in front of me has a basket full of groceries.)

Customer: “I need to pick up my medicine! And I want to pay for my groceries here. I only have six things.”

Pharmacist: “Sure, let me get those for you.”

(The customer puts way more than six grocery items on the counter. I am beyond irritated at this point since she’s making me wait. As the pharmacist scans the groceries, however, I decide not to let it get to me. The wait isn’t that much longer, and I’m next in line anyway.)

Pharmacist: “… and there you go. You’re all set. Have a nice evening!”

Customer: “You too.”

(The customer turns to go and notices me standing in line behind her.)

Customer: *to me* “Excuse me.”

Me: “Oh, it’s no problem—”

Customer: “I SAID, EXCUSE ME. THE SIGN SAYS YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO WAIT FOR THE PHARMACIST, NOT CROWD AROUND THE PEOPLE AT THE COUNTER. YOU ARE IN MY WAY!”

(She grabs her stuff and storms off in a huff, leaving both me and the pharmacist speechless.)

The High Point Of My Night
PHARMACY, RETAIL | RIGHT | SEPTEMBER 9, 2014
(I work as a cashier and am finally at the end of a long, frustrating split-shift. About 10 minutes to closing a group of guys in their early 20s come in and head straight for the confection aisle. They seem to be having a hard time deciding, and become panicked when my supervisor makes the closing announcement. They shove their candy, chips, and pop into the arms of one guy, and push him toward the cash. They leave the store, leaving their friend to pay. He places the items very slowly on the counter, blinking with confusion a number of times, swaying a little on his feet. I ring his items through.)

Me: “That’s $14.59. How will you be paying?”

Customer: “Uh… debit?”

(He slowly pulls out his wallet and fumbles for his card. He finally places it in the debit machine, and then stares at it, unmoving. The machine times-out, so I reset it. He manages, with some difficulty to make it through the rest of the transaction. When I place his bag in front of him, he looks confused.)

Customer: “Is this mine?”

Me: “Yes, it is.”

Customer: “These are the things I bought?”

Me: “Uh… yes. Are you all right?”

Customer: “Huh? Oh, yeah, don’t mind me, I’m just really fried.”

(He pulls a 2 dollar coin out of his pocket and puts it on the counter.)

Customer: “Don’t tell; my parents know the owner.”

(He left, marveling at the automatic doors as he did. He has been back to the store a number of times, in the same state, and makes my day whenever he shows up.)