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florida80
08-10-2020, 03:05
Sneha Mantri

The Western medical tradition spans millennia, extending from the prehistoric use of plants and herbs to heal wounds through the technological advances of the present day. Over that long history, the practice of medicine shifted from prescientific holistic approaches to modern, scientifically supported explanations of pathology. As the practice of medicine became more thoroughly grounded in science, which seeks unified explanations for diseases, many feared the loss of individuality, both for the patient and the physician [1, 2]. Thus it is relevant for modern practice to examine the social and historical forces behind medicine's paradigm shift and what that shift means for the 21st-century patient-physician encounter.

In the early days of medicine, physical manifestations of illness were almost always explained in spiritual terms. In a world where the deities were believed to affect mortals directly, seizures, for instance, were thought to be the result of having angered the gods [3]. In 400 BCE, Hippocrates, often lauded as the father of Western medicine, proposed a new schema in which natural—not supernatural—explanations of illness were sought. (It should be noted that the Hippocratic writings were probably not the work of a single physician but of a group of like-minded practitioners now referred to as "the Hippocratic physicians.") The Hippocratic treatise On the Sacred Disease, opens with: "[epilepsy] appears to me to be nowise more divine nor more sacred than other diseases, but has a natural cause from which it originates like other affections" [4].

This radical approach to medicine was not immediately accepted by peers of the Hippocratic movement. According to medical historian Lawrence Conrad, the pluralism of ancient Greek medicine meant that "healers, both male and female, competed with root-cutters, exorcists, midwives, bone-setters, lithotomists, gymnasts, and surgeons for patients" [5]. Although Hippocratic medicine began as one of many approaches to human illness, the structure of medical education in medieval and early modern Europe encouraged its dominance.

Hippocratic physicians were unable to study anatomy and physiology directly in the human body because dissection of human cadavers was forbidden on religious grounds. Instead, they relied primarily on logic and philosophy to explain disease. The central tenet of the theory was the belief that illness resulted from imbalances among the humors—blood, black bile, yellow bile, and phlegm. The physician's role was to diagnose the problem and tell patients how to restore their humoral balance and thus heal themselves.

Centuries later, Galen, a Roman anatomist who studied pigs, associated each humor with a personality. Certain temperaments were considered to be predisposed to illnesses of their humoral type, especially if the illness seemed to be triggered by emotional shock. Hippocratic-Galenic medicine was integrative, proposing a synergistic and individual relationship between each patient's body, mind, and personality and the outside world. For hundreds of years, this doctrine stood as the basis of Western medicine.

The seeds of change were planted as early as the 1500s when Andreas Vesalius, a Belgian physician, began teaching his students via direct animal dissection rather than by study of Galen's work. In 1539, an Italian judge gave Vesalius dispensation to dissect executed criminals, which changed the study of anatomy forever. Suddenly, structures that were previously only imagined could be visualized, handled, and sliced open to reveal hints of their living function. With the development of scientific, empirical study of human anatomy, the body-mind-personality connection that was so fundamental to Hippocratic-Galenic medicine was rapidly abandoned. As early as 1628, with the publication of William Harvey's explanation for the circulation of blood through a closed system by the pumping of the heart [6], physicians were beginning to view human physiology as the mechanized interaction of organs.

Simultaneously, growth in medical technology spurred the development of pathologic or morbid anatomy. In 1664, Englishman Robert Hooke published Micrographia, which revolutionized biology by using the microscope to view cells, a term coined by Hooke himself. Microscopy spread across Europe as a tool to study not just simple organisms but also the disease process. Together, gross and microscopic anatomy changed the ideology of medical discourse from philosophical to scientific. The definitive transformation of clinical medicine into a science based on pathologic anatomy came with Giovanni Battista Morgagni's 1761 publication of a five-volume tome De Sedibus et causis morborum ("On the Seats and Causes of Disease"). This catalog of diseases connected etiology to specific anatomical "seats" or locations.

The impact of technology and pathologic anatomy on medical practice had two major foci. First, its scientifically grounded explanations sparked an era of experiment-based medical progress that continues today. Armed with specialized knowledge about human anatomy and pathophysiology, the physician could at last take an active role in treating disease. Second, and more problematically, the voice of the patient, which had been so central to the Hippocratic doctrine, was silenced by the growing medicoscientific dialogue in which the uninitiated patient was unable to take part. In essence, power over the body had been transferred from the patient to the physician.

French philosopher Michel Foucault argues that the dominance of pathologic anatomy "dates precisely from the moment clinical experience became the anatomo-clinical gaze" [7]. For Foucault, the objectification of the patient is ethically problematic, a view by no means universal until the mid-20th century, if then. In fact, physicians of the 19th century considered the newly scientific basis of medicine "the ethical high ground" [8] and a moral imperative to their patients. French physician Xavier Bichat, writing in 1812, asked "What is observation, if we are ignorant of the place where the evil is seated?" [9]. Only by understanding the science of medicine, early modern physicians argued, would physicians be of service to their patients.

This view persisted through the 19th century. George Weisz, a historian of Victorian medicine, attributes the rise of specialties to "a new conception of disease; it was precisely the influence of localist pathologist thinking, based on pathological anatomy and subsequently on new technologies...that created 'foci of interest' in organ systems around which specialties could develop" [10]. Although it allowed for a deeper exploration of individual pathologies, the resultant division of the human body into disconnected pieces further eroded the integrative fundamental tenet that had sustained Western medicine for more than 2 millennia. The explosion of specialization was by no means unopposed; several 19 th- century physicians called for a return to Hippocratic integration, arguing that the new trend would "fragment medical science" [11] and ultimately hinder medical progress. Despite such opposition, specialization became an integral part of the modern, scientific practice of medicine. By 1905, 35 percent of Parisian doctors were specialists [12]. Pathologic anatomy would seem to have won its quest to universalize disease processes and divide the body into separate, barely connected domains.
https://i.imgur.com/ThH0LFD.jpg

In recent years Western medicine has consciously tried to integrate its ancient, patient-centered roots with modern scientific validity. In the late 20th century, with the rise of illness narratives by authors such as Susan Sontag, Reynolds Price, and Audre Lorde, patients began to reclaim their voices and therefore power over their bodies. The patient rights movement, borrowing from the concurrent civil rights and feminist movements, argued that the patient should be an equal partner with the physician in medical care. In response to these and other pressures to restore patient-centered medicine, medical schools began to revisit holistic medicine. Although evidence-based medicine remains an important part of medical education—123 of the 125 Association of American Medical Colleges schools required students to take at least one such course in the 2004-2005 academic year [13]—most medical students now also study complementary or alternative medicine (111 schools), medical ethics (124 schools), and population-based medicine (113 schools). Medical students of the 21st century therefore inherit from both the Hippocratic and the pathologic schools of thought.

The history of Western medicine chronicles a struggle between two opposing ideologies of patient care. On one hand, the integrative Hippocratic view; on the other, the specialization view, with an ethically problematic depersonalization of the patient that coincides with the rise of pathologic anatomy and medical technology in the early modern era. Although the modern dominance of pathologic anatomy has yielded centuries of medical progress, at times it threatens to divide and reduce the patient to a silent sum of mechanistic parts. Recent changes in medical education have begun to address the need for holistic medical care. Only with careful attention to both the individuality of illness and the universality of disease etiology can physicians most effectively care for their patients

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:18
The Squeaky Needle Gets The Sweets
MASSACHUSETTS, MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, PATIENTS, SILLY, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 25, 2020
(My immunization records for college are incomplete, so I need to get a couple of shots. I hate needles, but I can distract myself from the pain by chatting with the nurse. However, some shots are just more painful than others, and for this particular one I swear and go pale.)

Nurse: “All right, you’re all set! Are you feeling okay?”

Me: *sigh* “Yeah, I’m fine.”

(I pause.)

Me: “I mean…” *fake childish voice* “Wah! It hurts! I want a lolly!”

(I laugh. The nurse arches a brow.)

Nurse: “Do you actually want a lollipop? We’ve got some.”

Me: “What?! YES!”

(The nurse left and came back a minute later with a small bucket of lollipops. I picked a blue raspberry pop and proceeded to text several friends to brag about it.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:18
Fluffy’s More High-Maintenance Than Most Pets Of His Kind
AWESOME, CALIFORNIA, GOLDEN YEARS, PETS & ANIMALS, USA, VET | HEALTHY | MARCH 23, 2020
(I work at the front desk at an animal clinic that is located on a street with many assisted living facilities. Most of them are not pet-friendly — they may have an office cat but residents can’t have personal pets — except for the largest of them which is right next door and pet-friendly.

We have a deal with the management of this facility where, whenever a new resident moves in with an animal, we set them up as a patient with us, the facility handles all their billing, we send care instructions to them to make sure the residents don’t forget the doses, and when making appointments we contact both the owner and the facility so they can make sure the owner doesn’t have something else scheduled that day and doesn’t forget their appointment.

For the humans who think they are more self-sufficient than they really are, we make sure someone from the facility is available and needs to take “important paperwork” over to the clinic at the same time the owner needs to leave, to make sure they get there and back safely. Sometimes they slip through alone, though, or decide they have an appointment when we don’t have them on the books, so we are used to having random elderly people coming in.

A clearly distraught elderly woman carrying a small dog carrier comes in one day.)

Woman: “Please, you have to help me!”

Me: “What can we do?”

Woman: “It’s Fluffy! He’s not acting right and I think I need to put him to sleep.” *sobs*

Me: “Oh, dear, we’ll get you and Fluffy in to see the doctor and take a look at him to decide if that is the best thing to do, okay? Now, what is your name so I can pull your chart?”

Woman: “It’s [Name I don’t have in my system].”

Me: “I can’t find you on the computer; have you been in before?”

Woman: “Oh, no, Fluffy and I just moved into our new apartment today and you are so much closer than his old doctor.”

(I figure she is so new the facility hasn’t had time to bring us her paperwork, so I get Fluffy’s age and breed and go about making a chart. We’ll get the rest of her information from the facility when we contact them. Thankfully, we’ve had a cancelation so I can get her into an exam room right away.

A while later, she comes out of the exam room with the doctor, with one of our techs carrying the carrier for her, much happier than when she came in.)

Woman: “And you really think it will cure him, Doctor?”

Doc: “If it doesn’t, you just have your doorman give me a call and we’ll get you back in, no charge. Now, I’m going to have my son carry Fluffy home for you. You have a good day.”

(The doctor is referring to our tech who isn’t actually his son, but that’s the code we use to let the front desk know the resident is not paying us directly and to just smile and say goodbye rather than following the normal checkout process. As soon as she and the tech are out of the building I turn to the doctor.)

Me: “So, we’re charging an exam and what else?”

Doctor: “Nothing.”

Me: “So, just the exam?”

Doctor: “No, Fluffy isn’t real.”

Me: “What?!”

Doctor: “He’s a stuffed toy; he’s just been laying around all day for weeks now. So, I told her we were going to try an experimental treatment, and if it works, that’s great, and if not, she can bring him in to be put to sleep later. Then, I drew up some air from an empty vial and injected it. She said he already looks perkier. Poor thing; she is really far gone.”

(Tech returned almost an hour later. The woman wasn’t from the facility next door, or even the one on the other side of them. She was from the one almost all the way down the block, and they had to check into all of them because she couldn’t recall which apartment building she lived in.

To their staff’s credit, they thought she had gone to get lunch with her daughter and her daughter thought her mom was taking a nap after an exhausting morning of moving in. Nobody knew Fluffy had been feeling bad, or that he was capable of feeling bad.

The experimental treatment worked great for a month, and then Fluffy relapsed and had to come in for another treatment. We gave him his shot once a month for three years, and then one day he just stopped coming in.

Six months later, the daughter brought him in; her mom had become too ill to take Fluffy for his shots so she had just taken him out of the building for a bit and then come back and told her mom he’d had his shot, and now her mom said she couldn’t take care of Fluffy anymore so could we find him a new home. We found him a nice place in the doctor’s office; he’s our supervisor.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:19
What A Doll
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, JERK, NON-DIALOGUE, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 22, 2020
I was born prematurely and at low birth weight. I was four pounds, five ounces at birth. I had none of the typical newborn baby fat; my cheeks were flat and my head was bulging, while the rest of me was skinny and angular. To be blunt, I looked like an alien. Other than that, however, I was perfectly healthy and was discharged a day later. My mother took me for my first doctor’s appointment to a well-known, established pediatrician in town, who was known for being rather coarse in mannerisms but otherwise knowledgeable.

He went through all the usual tasks of a newborn check-up including checking normal infant reflexes. One of them was the step reflex, in which a newborn appears to walk or step when they are held upright and their feet touch a flat surface. The doctor, for some reason, used his hand as the flat surface, and this procedure ended with him supporting my neck and back with one hand and my feet with the other. He looked at me, looked at my mother, and then mimed — with me — a jaunty little dance through the air. To my mother, he remarked, “Look, it’s E.T. riding a bike!”

He honestly couldn’t understand why my mother didn’t find that nearly as amusing as he did. Or why my mother found a new pediatrician.

And she gets annoyed when I point out that, in his defense, I did look like a tiny, baby alien dressed in doll’s clothes.

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:19
There’s No Need To Behave Like An Animal About It
IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PHARMACY, USA, VET | HEALTHY | MARCH 19, 2020
(I work as a receptionist for a veterinary hospital. Earlier today, I gave a prescription to a client for a drug that is classified as Schedule II, which means it is considered as having high potential for abuse, so our facility is not licensed to carry it on-site. It can only be picked up from a human pharmacy. Thus, we write prescriptions instead of filling them ourselves at our on-site pharmacy. My first interaction with the client ends like this:)

Client: “So… what do I do with this?” *holds up prescription*

Me: “You take it to a pharmacy, just as you would with a prescription from your doctor. I would recommend calling around to see which places have it first before going anywhere because not all pharmacies can or do carry it.”

Client: “Can you call the pharmacies for me?” *stares expectantly*

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t. There are dozens of pharmacies in the area, and I have no idea which places have this drug. And unfortunately, I have other clients waiting so I’m not able to set aside that kind of time.”

(She’s not happy with my answer, but she takes the prescription and leaves. Maybe an hour later, I get a call from her.)

Client: “So, can I use my insurance card to pick up the medication?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t believe that’s legal.”

Client: “But I’m getting the medication from a human pharmacy. Why can’t I use my insurance?”

Me: “Because the medication is for your dog, and the prescription is filled out to reflect that. The pharmacy will be aware it is for a dog, and your insurance only covers you. If you have pet insurance, that may or may not help cover it, but that depends on your plan.”

Client: “Well, I should be able to use it. It’s a pharmacy, not a vet. Why can’t I use it?”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but I’m not sure what else I can do for you. If you have further questions, I can ask the vet to speak with you.”

Client: “No. Never mind!” *hangs up*

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:19
A Wheelie Cool Therapist
AWESOME, EDITORS' CHOICE, HOSPITAL, INSPIRATIONAL, PATIENTS, THERAPIST, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 16, 2020
(I’m a physical therapist. My next patient is reportedly frail; she’s wheelchair-bound and doesn’t leave her bed.)

Patient: “Can you teach me to do a wheelie?”

(I couldn’t help but laugh. She ended up being a fairly healthy girl, albeit with less muscle tone due to her condition. The reason she hadn’t left her bed? The nurses had put a bed alarm on her — standard procedure for someone like her — and she hated moving with an IV.

I wasn’t allowed to teach her how to do a wheelie, but I was able to teach the basic concept. Get a friend to pull you back, practice balancing for a while, and then try it on your own. Shove the wheels, hard, and have someone catch you when you fly backward. I think she’ll be just fine.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:20
Enough Of This Song And Dance!
AUSTRIA, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, JERK, NON-DIALOGUE, PATIENTS | HEALTHY | MARCH 14, 2020
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

I am a musical theatre major, meaning that I spend the better part of my day in a ballet studio dancing or working out, and during what’s left of that day I’m either singing, acting, or both. After having an inherent heart condition fixed as a young teenager, I am proud to say that I am mostly healthy, a couple of minor-ish issues — as well as notorious unresponsiveness to most kinds of medication — aside.

About fifteen months ago, though, I get sick with something that is labelled “minor, superficial pneumonia” at first, and after sitting in my body for about two weeks turns into “asthmatic-spastic bronchitis.” Later, it becomes full-blown asthma bronchiale which, thanks to hyperreactive bronchia, I am very used to catching around twice a year. Usually, after a couple of weeks, it’s gone again, and my asthma falls asleep into insignificance once more.

Not this time.

The weeks come and go, and nothing happens. I’m fully incapable of doing anything at the conservatoire — but thankfully most of my professors are amazing and give me all the support they can possibly give me — and I’m getting more and more frustrated. My pulmonologist, after failing to succeed with several more antibiotics and cortisone therapies, is unwilling to give up on me and refers me to all possible colleagues. I get tested for pertussis, even for tuberculosis — and pretty much everything else — but they can’t find anything.

After just barely passing my semester with the worst possible acceptable grades, I go home for my semester break. By that time, this has gone on nearly two and a half months already. My pulmonologist tells me to continue my treatment, or rather, the search for a concrete diagnosis, as she is at her wit’s end.

I do, and they actually get the idea to do a bronchoscopy where, at last, they find not only a virus, but also bacteria that seem to cause all the trouble, sending me into a spiral of a constant asthma attack, which expresses itself with the symptoms of a chronic, constant bronchitis. They send me home with more antibiotics, telling me I can’t do much more but “sit it out and hope it’ll be gone in four to six months,” and put me on sick leave for my upcoming semester, since I can neither sing, dance, nor do anything on the acting front. I move back in at home with my most amazing, most supportive parents, and I begin my journey of doing not much of anything at all.

All throughout the time, I’m feeling flu-ish sick, with often insufferable headaches and horrible sore throats, short- as well as flat-breathed, and I obviously also cannot get rid of that cough. I have better days and worse, but the worse days definitely outweigh the good ones. Basically, I’m knocked out of my life entirely, and I often even have to think twice if I want to take a brief trip to town.

The months pass and nothing happens. There’s no improvement that lasts longer than two weeks and doesn’t follow a massive breach again. I lose another semester, as well as a fair share of friends. And, due to lack of movement, unsuccessful medication treatment, and, as I only just recently found out, my hypothyroidism acting up again, as well, I gain quite some weight; I’m not obese and still fit into most of my clothes, but you wouldn’t believe me the dance student, either.

I haven’t been idle over that time; I’ve been looking into common and alternative medicine and am in the middle of a doctor marathon, to not much avail except for the revelation of several more issues to work on, and about a month ago — as this has been going on for longer than a year already, and I’m beyond frustrated and only very desperately trying to scratch the final pieces of my patience together — I am referred to the pulmonologist department of my local hospital to finally treat my set-in-stone asthma diagnosis, as many doctors seem to purposefully ignore the bacterial aspect of my issues.

I have so many hopes for this appointment. But when I walk in, I see that, instead of [Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ], who I am supposed to have the appointment with, I am met by a super young, and super overwhelmed-looking [Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ].

I present him with all kinds of older to recent-ish but not super recent bloodwork and diagnoses and some very real proof that there are indeed physical issues to be resolved.

I explain, “…and this is why your colleague from the immunology department referred me over to you. It’s a rather pressing issue because my new semester is about to start, and I’d hate to miss the third one in a row. I really can’t do any dancing, singing, or much of anything at all, so I’m quite desperate about making progress. But unfortunately, I have issues with medication showing proper effect; it’s been like that since my heart issues way back as a child and starts with super simple things like common painkillers needing super high doses to start working.”

The doctor doesn’t even seem to listen properly. “Well, we couldn’t find anything physical in your test results…”

All they did was a basic lung function test, the results of which often fluctuate depending on my day.

I respond with confusion, “Um… But… I am officially diagnosed with asthma bronchiale already. Also, my lung function results fluctuate really badly, from unacceptable to–”

The doctor cuts me off. “There are no physical issues, and your lung function seems to be low but not concerningly so.”

“Well, as I explained before, it really fluctuates and–”

He interrupts again. “Well, this is definitely not a physical issue, and your lung function is–”

I cut him off this time. “But I really just said…”

[Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] ignores me and gets up to get [Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ], who doesn’t even bother to sit down, and very clearly looks like she has no interest whatsoever in being here or helping me.

“Well, as my colleague already informed you, we cannot find any physical issues to work with, and clearly, you are not asthmatic.”

I sigh inwardly. “I really just explained to your colleague before that I have my official asthma diagnosis; I just need treatment for it, which is difficult because most kinds of medications have a really hard time to show any kind of effect besides the side effects, if they even work at all–“

[Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] says, interrupting me harshly, “If you were asthmatic, we would be able to treat you with cortisone inhalers, and those never showed any effect, so all you really have is a hyperresponsive larynx.”

I’m absolutely stunned at how they both have so successfully ignored anything I’ve said in the past couple of minutes. “But… as I said… and my lung function… I know it looks better now but it really, really depends on the day and… It’s really not only the cough; there are so many other issues that–”

Cut off again! “And your lung function isn’t that bad. I’ll just give you [super intense nervous system medication that is usually prescribed to epilepsy and severe anxiety patients, neither of which I even remotely suffer from] for your hyperreactive larynx. As for the fatigue, here’s a referral to outpatient rehab.”

[Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] gets up and leaves again without giving me the chance to say anything at all.

“It’s really not just the cough; it’s–“

[Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] proceeds to explain the effects of the just-prescribed medication without listening.

My mum, who had accompanied me, hasn’t had much of a word, either, so we just decide to give up on that lost cause and leave, both of us boiling inside. Not for one second do I consider having that prescription filled and taking this stuff, no matter how desperate I may be. Looking on the piece of paper, I was handed, I also find out that [Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] put “fatigue,” “chronic cough,” and “obesity” on my rehab prescription, which I am still livid about.

Later that day, I have a routine follow-up appointment with a new cardiologist, who not only is as appalled by this behaviour as we are, but also draws blood and reveals several very physical indeed issues, among them high inflammation signs, my hypothyroidism being at a not-dangerous-but-alarmingly-low level again, and the bacteria still being very, very present within my body. I’m referred to another pulmonologist immediately.

While I am, indeed, missing my third semester in a row, quite unsurprisingly, that new pulmonologist has not only found out that my lung function is currently at a new low point, but confirmed a “clearly asthmatic reaction and movement,” put that into the diagnosis, and promised to investigate if there is anything else behind it that I need to be treated for.

Fascinatingly enough, he has also listened to my medication issues and prescribed me two new inhalers that he’s hoping will help me as one of the 5% who actually do not react to common cortisone treatments.

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:20
Anti-Antibiotics
AUSTRALIA, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, MEDICAL OFFICE | HEALTHY | MARCH 13, 2020
(I am twelve weeks pregnant. I have already seen one doctor who left the medical practice and I am seeing a new doctor. He goes through my test results, which the previous doctor had already spoken to me about.)

Doctor: “It says here that these numbers are fine, but the other doctor had you on an iron supplement. You don’t need that.”

Me: “Are you sure? The other doctor was quite worried about my numbers.”

Doctor: “I’m sure. And you are taking antibiotics for a UTI, but you don’t have one.”

Me: “The other doctor said I had proteins in my urine which indicated a UTI.”

Doctor: “No, definitely not.”

Me: “Okay, I need a referral for a twelve-week scan.”

Doctor: “You don’t need that.”

Me: “My daughter had a congenital heart defect; I’d prefer to get all scans.”

Doctor: “The only reason they want to diagnose in the womb is to do surgery in the womb.”

My Husband: “They needed us at a bigger hospital when she was born, in order to give her surgery.”

Me: “Can you just write the referral, please?”

Doctor: “You don’t need it, but if you insist.”

(We left the office and quickly realised he had written a referral for a twenty-week scan which the ultrasound place can’t take. I organised an appointment with another doctor who also checked my blood. She immediately pointed out that I had a UTI and should be taking antibiotics, and that I had low iron and should take a supplement.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:20
Being A Pill About The Pills
CALIFORNIA, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 12, 2020
(I work in a community pharmacy. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard this story in some variation, as have my staff and coworkers in this field.)

Patient: *comes up to the counter* “Hi, I need to fill my medication.”

Clerk: “Oh, of course. Which medication did you need today?”

Patient: “I don’t know; it’s on my profile.”

(The clerk reviews the patient’s profile, which has more than 25 prescriptions dating back years.)

Clerk: “Do you know which one? There’s a bit of a list on your profile.”

(At this point, they will usually say one of two things:)

Patient: “I don’t know. Just fill all of them.”

(Or…)

Patient: “It’s the white pill.”

(This is where the clerk will grab one of the pharmacists.)

Pharmacist: “I’m sorry, sir, but we can’t just fill everything on your profile, as we don’t know which of these medications you take or have stopped taking.”

(Also, the staff hate having to fill a dozen or more prescriptions, only for the patient to say they need one or two of them; the rest we have to put back, wasting all the time and effort we needed to fill.)

Pharmacist: “Do you know what you take it for? Diabetes? Blood pressure?”

Patient: “I don’t know. It’s the white pill.”

Pharmacist: “Most of the pills on your profile are white. Do you know how many times you take it? Was it big or small? The first letter of the name or the doctor who wrote it?”

Patient: “How am I supposed to know?! You’re the pharmacist! You should know this! IT’S A WHITE PILL! I KNOW IT’S ON THE COMPUTER!”

Pharmacist: “Sir, I need a little more information to go on than just the color. Here’s our card; you can go home, find it, and then call it in. Or bring the bottle with you next time and we can help you more.”

(The patient stomped off. Seriously, if you come to the pharmacy, please know something about what you want to pick up. The vast majority of all the pills on the shelf are white. Bring the bottle, take a picture of the bottle, write down the name. Something!)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:20
This Doctor’s Stubbornness Runs Deep
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, MILITARY, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 11, 2020
(Whenever I start coming down with any sort of respiratory infection, my voice gets deeper. The deeper the voice, the worse the illness is. I am stationed overseas in the nineties when a couple of coworkers notice that my voice is getting deeper. I go to Sick Call the next morning, and the corpsman, familiar with my history of pneumonia, sends me to the nearest US military hospital about 100 kilometers south to get seen by actual doctors.)

Doctor: “What brings you in today?”

Me: “I’m coming down with some sort of chest bug. Every time my voice gets deep, I get sick a few days later.”

Doctor: “What sort of symptoms are you having?”

Me: “At the moment, just the deep voice.”

Doctor: “That could mean anything. It’s probably acid reflux.”

(So far, the doctor has not examined me in any way.)

Me: “Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? Sir?”

Doctor: “I’ll prescribe you an antacid for a week or so. You should also prop up the head of your bed just a bit, to help control the reflux.”

Me: “First, I’m not here for acid reflux. I’m coming down with some sort of twitching awfuls, because my voice is getting deep. When I start sounding like James Earl Jones, I always get pneumonia or bronchitis or some other chest ailment within a couple of days. Every time. Since the deep voice just started being noticeable, I’m trying to get ahead of the disease. Second, I have a waterbed. Propping up the head of the bed will have no effect.”

Doctor: *frowning* “Sure, it will work. Just put a boot under the corners of your headboard. This will raise your upper body slightly and help prevent acid reflux from irritating your larynx.”

Me: *sighing internally* “With all due respect, sir, you cannot tilt water. It always stays level.”

Doctor: “Just raise your headboard a couple of inches. You’ll see.”

Me: *sighing out loud this time* “Sir, it’s a waterbed. Here’s a demonstration: run a little bit of water into that portable basin next to the sink.” *pointing at the small metal basin*

Doctor: “Okay.” *runs water into the basin*

Me: “Now, tilt the basin up on one end.”

Doctor: *lifts one end of the basin slightly*

Me: “Notice that the water stays level, no matter how high you raise either end of the basin? That’s why raising the head of my waterbed will be less than useless.”

Doctor: “Oh. I guess you’re right. I suppose we’ll have to get you an appointment with the gastroenterology clinic to cure your reflux.”

Me: *facepalm* “Sir, I don’t have reflux. Could you please listen to my chest?”

(I was given a prescription for antacid and told to go back to work, all without the doctor conducting an examination. Three days later, I was back in the hospital as an inpatient… with pneumonia.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:21
Green With Envy Over Your Ability To See Color
ART/DESIGN, COWORKERS, HEALTH & BODY, RETAIL, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 10, 2020
(I know my coworker and his wife pretty well — I went to their wedding — and they’re often in the store either helping with or participating in events when they aren’t working. They’ve finished both of their events this day and are going past the counter to leave, and they walk by me. I overhear their discussion, and they rope me in.)

Coworker: “It’s brown!”

Coworker’s Wife: “It is not! [My Name], what’s the color of my shirt?”

(Because she is wearing a BRIGHT RED JACKET, it’s pretty obvious what color the shirt is; however, if you just glanced at it, it might be misconstrued as brown.)

Me: “Uh, it’s green?”

Coworker: “Is it? But it’s brown!”

Me: *peering at it* “No, it’s green; it’s a dark green.”

Coworker’s Wife: “It’s emerald green.”

Coworker: “Well, it had better not be olive green, because that’s a color that doesn’t exist.”

Me: “But… What?”

Coworker’s Wife: “What color are [My Name]’s bracelets?”

(On my wrists are a paracord bracelet and a FitBit band, respectively.)

Coworker: “Well, I know that one is bright green and purple, and that one is… well, I dunno.”

Me: “[Coworker], it’s green. You’re colorblind.”

(I guess you learn something new every day — and this came as a bit of a shock to him, too!)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:21
Paging Doctor Cymbeline
AUSTRALIA, FUNNY NAMES, HOSPITAL, WORDPLAY | HEALTHY | MARCH 9, 2020
(I work on the switchboard for a major hospital. We take a lot of calls, have a lot of options to put callers to, and are, unfortunately, very used to callers giving us very little information so we have to guess the rest.)

Me: “Good afternoon, switchboard.”

Internal Caller: “Yeah, can I speak to Imogen?”

Me: “Imogen who?”

Internal Caller: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Uh, okay. Do you know what Imogen does or what department she works in?”

Internal Caller: “I don’t know; the doctor just wants a copy of an X-ray.”

Me: *light-bulb moment* “OH! You want to speak to imaging!”

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:21
The Most Relatable Toddler
ADORABLE CHILDREN, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 8, 2020
(On the morning of my son’s two-year-old “well-child” checkup, he wakes up unusually grumpy. Shockingly, the news that he has to go to see the pediatrician does not improve his mood, so in an effort to get him to stop whining in the back of the car, I make an absolute rookie mistake. I promise him that after his appointment, I will take him on a trip to his favorite place. I then discover that I have the kind of two-year-old who neither understands nor accepts the concept of “after,” and as such, the following interaction happens at least six times in the next 45 minutes:)

Son: *wordlessly bawling at the top of his lungs*

Nurse: “Oh, no, what’s the matter?”

Son: “I WANT TO GO TO TARGET.”

Nurse: “Me, too, honey. Me, too.”

(At least he did not scream at the doctor. Instead, he gently wept and whispered, “Please. Target.”)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:22
A Would-Be Thief Has His Eyes Opened
CRIMINAL & ILLEGAL, MEDICAL OFFICE, OPTOMETRIST/OPTICIAN, SOUTH CAROLINA, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 7, 2020
(I work with patients at an eye specialist, checking vision and administering eye drops. One day, one of my newer coworkers comes to me about a patient.)

Coworker: “He’s complaining about his eye being sore, but he’s asking way too many questions about [expensive temporary numbing agent for office use only].”

(I trust his judgment, so I ask another technician to casually restock something in the exam room where the patient is waiting for the doctor and take the numbing drop with him when he’s done. Not ten minutes later, when the doctor goes to see him…)

Patient: “Hey, Doc, why can’t you give me some more of those numbing drops?”

Doctor: “Because too much is toxic for your eyes. A patient stole a bottle years ago and used it non-stop for days; it really damaged their eye.”

Patient: “Good thing you said that, Doc, because I was planning on stealing that bottle!”

(He said this without any embarrassment whatsoever! I only hope he learned not to mess around with that sort of thing.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:22
A Very Expensive Taxi
EMERGENCY SERVICES, LIARS/SCAMMERS, NEW JERSEY, PARTY, USA, WEATHER | HEALTHY | MARCH 6, 2020
(I worked in volunteer emergency medical services for years. Without charge to anyone, a person would call 911, which would then send me and a crew with an ambulance to provide emergency medical care and transportation to the hospital. Unfortunately, our experience was that during a blizzard, some people would call 911 with a fake medical emergency and then decline transportation to the hospital. This was done because they had learned that a snowplow would be dispatched in front of our ambulance to make sure we had a clear route to the house in question. This way, the person would have their street plowed before others. The request of the woman in this story, however, blows my mind. We arrive at the location following the snowplow that is clearing 18 inches of snow on the road. I trudge up to the door and ring the bell. A young woman with an alcoholic drink in her hand answers. There is loud music playing. This is obviously a “blizzard party.”)

Me: “[Town] EMS, who is having the emergency?”

Woman: “Yes, that’s me. Um, I have diabetes.”

(I know that anyone with diabetes should not be drinking an alcoholic beverage.)

Me: “Okay, let’s sit down and check your blood sugar. Are you feeling badly?”

Woman: “Oh, no, I don’t need anything like that. I already checked my blood sugar. It’s [number that’s a bit high, but not an emergency]. I need my insulin from my house in [Next Town Over]. I was wondering if you’d drive me to get it?”

Me: “Ma’am, we are an ambulance for medical emergencies. We cannot transport you from one house to another. The policeman over here, however, most likely will.”

Woman: “Oh, that’s great. But, um, after I get my insulin, could he bring me back here to the party? I’m having such a great time!”

(I just facepalmed. The policeman did give her a ride home to her insulin… but not back to the party.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:28
Science Flu Right Over Their Head
HOSPITAL, ILLINOIS, MATH & SCIENCE, PATIENTS, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 6, 2020
Nurse: *to a patient* “Do you want a flu shot while you’re here?”

Patient: “No, I don’t get flu shots.”

Nurse: “Oh. Have you had an adverse reaction to them?”

Patient: “No. Vaccines cause cancer. I know that because I’ve been to Japan. People there aren’t vaccinated, and no one gets cancer in Japan.

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:28
To Censor Or Not To Censor: The Editors’ Dilemma
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, NON-DIALOGUE, PENNSYLVANIA, PUNNY, SILLY, USA, VET | HEALTHY | MARCH 5, 2020
Our English Setter has had surgery to repair an ACL injury. She chews on her stitches and manages to pop one. We load her in the car to make the 45-minute drive to the vet, calling ahead to make sure they know we’re coming, as we know we’ll be pushing closing time for them.

We get there a few minutes before close and our vet comes into the waiting room to greet us. He picks up our girl and proclaims dramatically, “What did you do that for, you b****?!”

His vet tech (and we) totally lost it.

And he replaced the stitches with staples for us!

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:29
Nancy The Needler Strikes Again!
BLOOD DONATION, JERK, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 4, 2020
(While I am very squeamish about needles, I like to give blood often because I am a universal donor. I have family that have needed transfusions, so I like to donate in honor of the people who have helped them. Volunteers are usually very nice and ease my needle anxiety throughout the process. Not this time, though.)

Volunteer: “Lay down here.”

Me: “Okay. Just so you know, I’m kind of scared of needles. It would really help if you could just count down before you prick me.”

Volunteer: “No. I’m not doing that. Lay down.”

Me: *getting nervous now* “Wait. Why can’t you just count down to let me know when you’re putting the needle in?”

Volunteer: “You’re a big girl; suck it up.”

(She grabs my arm and quickly uses a wipe to disinfect the area. I’m a wreck, so I jump when she does this, even though I’m not in pain. I’m just so anxious about this needle now.)

Volunteer: “You can’t jump like that when I put the needle in! I’ll have to do it over if you jump like that!”

Me: “I won’t jump if you just count down or let me know when you’re putting it in!”

(I’m shaking at this point and close to hyperventilating.)

Volunteer: “What’s the point of giving blood if you’re going to be so jumpy?!”

(Eventually, I calm down enough for her to prick my arm quickly. A few months later, I’m giving blood again and am relaying this story to another volunteer, who was kind enough to count down before putting the needle in.)

Nice Volunteer: “Was she skinny, tall, dark hair…?”

Me: “Yes! That was her!”

Nice Volunteer: “Oh, that was Nancy. We got a lot of complaints about her. She doesn’t come to blood drives anymore”

(Thankfully, I never saw her again.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:29
We’ve Heard Of Child Soldiers, But That’s Ridiculous
BLOOD DONATION, COLLEGE & UNIVERSITY, STRANGERS, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 3, 2020
(It’s circa 2009 and there is a blood drive going on at our school. I am sitting with a worker, doing the health screening questionnaire to rule out anything that would disqualify my blood. There are some questions that definitely shouldn’t apply, such as whether or not I’ve been in various parts of the world a decade before I was born, but I understand they need to be asked. Then, we get here:)

Worker: “Between 1988 and 1995, were you in the military or the dependent of someone in the military?”

Me: “Yes.”

(There’s a long pause.)

Worker: “So… you were a dependent?”

Me: *pause* “Yes.”

(Granted, I could have been more specific. But given that this blood drive was being held at a college, primarily with young adults who had only reached the age of conscription in the last five years, AND given that she had my birthdate of 1990 right in front of her on my paperwork… I didn’t think I needed to!)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:29
That’s The Spirit?
BIZARRE, RELIGION, USA, VET | HEALTHY | MARCH 2, 2020
(I work for a vet. The phone rings.)

Me: “[Clinic], this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Client: “Hi. I got a card in the mail that my cat is due for a checkup, so I’d like to schedule that.”

Me: “Certainly. May I have your last name?”

Client: “It’s [Last Name].”

Me: “Okay, and is this for [Cat]?”

Client: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, according to our records, it looks like [Cat] is overdue for her upper respiratory and distemper vaccine. Would you like to have that boosted?”

Client: “Oh, I don’t know. I’ll have to talk to my husband about that. Can I let you know when I come in for the appointment?”

Me: “Of course.”

Client: “We’ll have to pray about it and dowse to decide.”

(As far as I know, dowsing refers to holding sticks to try and find groundwater. I have no idea how the client intends to use it to decide whether to vaccinate her cat.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:30
One Catty Pharmacist
CALIFORNIA, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, JERK, NON-DIALOGUE, PETS & ANIMALS, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 2, 2020
I work as a veterinary assistant at a cat clinic and know basic information about feline pharmacology. My friend’s cat takes 5 mg of a medication every day to control stress-mediated urinary crystals. His prescription is for 45 of the 10 mg tablets, with directions to give half a tablet each day.

My friend went to pick up the cat’s prescription from a large corporate pharmacy after work and did not think to check the prescription until she got home. What the pharmacy gave her was 90 of the 10 mg capsules, which cannot be cut in half, with instructions to give one capsule each day, which would be a double dose. The margin for error in many cat medications is pretty small, and a double dose could well cause serious harm. They also charged her about three times what that particular drug should cost from that pharmacy.

My friend called the pharmacy to complain and was put on with the pharmacy manager, who angrily insisted she had called the vet, the vet had changed the prescription, and the pharmacy had filled it according to the vet’s instructions. My friend knew this was nonsense but couldn’t prove it at that time because the vet clinic had closed for the evening.

The next day, my friend called the vet, whose receptionists confirmed that the prescription hadn’t changed and the pharmacy had never called them. My friend went back to the pharmacy after work with the information from the vet clinic, and they refunded her money and filled the correct prescription so fast she didn’t even get to ask for a manager. Another friend and I are encouraging her to make a formal complaint with corporate, as the mistake of instructing a patient to take a double dose could get the patient killed if the drug was, say, heart medication or a sedative.

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:30
These Trainees Will Have You In Stitches
HEALTH & BODY, MEDICAL OFFICE, MILITARY, NEW HIRES, NON-DIALOGUE, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 27, 2020
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

The first time I have to have stitches is during annual training for the military. My unit is required to participate in an exercise across the country. However, there is a prep period of about a week to two weeks depending on the size of the unit for this particular exercise, where we are required to be present and mostly do checks of equipment.

During this time, I am messing with my knife while by my bunk. I go to close the blade and nick my finger pretty bad, about half an inch deep on the tip of my index finger, right to the side of the nail to about the middle of the finger pad. I immediately go to my first aid kit to get gauze, thinking I’ll be able to stop the bleeding with direct pressure. I manage to reduce the amount of blood pouring from my finger a little, but after about an hour it hasn’t stopped so I am escorted to the aid station.

It isn’t during sick call hours, so it’s pretty slow and I’m admitted quickly. Despite reserving non-sick call hours for life, limb, and eyesight situations, they agree to see me. The major who is the equivalent of a surgeon or doctor comes in and analyzes the wound. It’s still bleeding and the flesh is separated, so he determines that I’ll need three sutures to keep the wound closed. I’m asked the question that would lead to me having the worst pain I have experienced in my life.

“Since it isn’t a life-threatening wound, would you mind if we let a few trainees inject the novocaine apply the stitches?”

Ever so ignorant, I agree; besides, my mistake can be another person’s learning opportunity, so why not? I agree and I meet the two trainees who are my rank, and a nurse who is a non-commissioned officer walks in to supervise as well as the major.

As a boy, whenever I got nervous or fearful around needles and the like, my father taught me to overcome these fears by looking at the procedure and concentrating on the pain level and how the fear never really justified how much it actually hurt.

As they prepared the numbing agent and stuck me once, I felt nothing; the major concluded that they’d missed and had them do another dose. My finger felt numb at the base but the tip where they would be working still had full feeling. After triple the normal dose and six different tries, my finger was now swollen from the local anesthetic and I could still feel my fingertip. I could not receive any more medication, so they decided to continue anyway.

I’ve dealt with needles. They didn’t hurt too much except that the trainees weren’t smooth on the exit and tore a bit while removing the needle. That’s not too bad; I give blood regularly and I’ve experienced it before. However, I saw the hook that was about to be sent through my body three times and I shuddered. These trainees had likely never done this before on a live subject. Granted, it wasn’t that bad of a wound, but it was still in one of the most nerve-rich centers on the body.

I tried to look at the procedure as the hook was pushed in for the first time and I nearly teared up from the pain. The NCO saw this and went into what I later learned was trauma nurse practices of distraction and breathing exercises. We talked about family and other subjects and when the pain got worse, she had to remind me to breathe. Twice more, they put the string through the skin while I forced myself to hold my hand as still as possible. The first two were done by the trainees and the last by the major. The major had experience so it wasn’t as terrible and took considerably less time.

When I was done, they wrapped it up and sent me back to my tent with no meds or painkillers — which I sort of understand — just with training, gauze, and other medical supplies to change the bandages every 24 hours.

I still had to go through the week-long exercise, and my bandages were removed in the field with a pair of scissors a week later. I still have the scar from the uneven stitching and I shudder whenever I think about having inexperienced medical staff perform stitches without effective anesthetic. To this day, I don’t trust local anesthetic by anyone, and I had to be put under general when I had my wisdom teeth removed about two months later.

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:30
This Story Will Take Your Breath Away
CALL CENTER, GERMANY, HEALTH & BODY, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 23, 2020
(I work in an inbound 24/7 call centre while studying. We take calls for over 150 different companies and can rarely do more than take their details and have them be called back, but we are not supposed to let the callers know that. On one of my last Saturday night shifts, my coworker receives a call from an elderly man for a company that sells and waits on equipment for patient care, including oxygen tanks for private use. Extra note: on weekends we rarely get any calls, so there are only two people in the office at a time.)

Coworker: “This is [Company]; how can I help you?”

Old Man: “My oxygen tank isn’t working. Please send someone to help me.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, but we are already closed. I can make a note for support to call you back, but they will only see it on Monday. Do you require the oxygen supply constantly?”

Old Man: “I need my oxygen tank and it isn’t working. Please help me.”

Coworker: “I am really sorry, but there is nothing I can do until Monday. Please hang up and call emergency services; they will be able to help you until we can get your oxygen tank fixed.”

Old Man: “No! These are your oxygen tanks! You have to help me! Please help me!”

(They keep going in circles like this for almost 15 minutes, with the man repeating the phrase “please help me” until he hangs up on my coworker, but not before she has convinced him to tell her his name and address.)

Coworker: “I don’t know what to do. I don’t think he’s going to call an ambulance. What if something happens to him?”

Me: “Maybe we should call an ambulance for him to be sure? You got his address, right? Lack of oxygen can make people very confused, I think.”

(My coworker called our supervisor, because we are not technically allowed to make external calls. He said he didn’t know, either. We could call emergency services if we wanted to, but if the man decided to sue for breach of privacy, it would be on us. I decided to call the non-emergency line instead of my coworker, since they couldn’t fire me, anyway. The operator seemed more than a little weirded out by me calling an ambulance for a stranger I had never seen or spoken to but had an address and a name for, but he thanked me and my coworker for the effort. I never found out what happened to the old man, but I hope he was okay, whether he needed that ambulance or not. Emergency services are completely free here, by the way, for you concerned US citizens out there. PSA: At least around here, if you suspect someone’s life is in danger, you are totally allowed to disregard any data protection slips your workplace had you sign.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:31
That Takes A Lot Of Balls
EDITORS' CHOICE, HARASSMENT, HEALTH & BODY, HOSPITAL, TEXAS, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 21, 2020
(I have to visit the hospital due to a wave of nausea that was bad enough to keep me from going to work. The doctor decides to have an ultrasound done on my abdomen to check for anything that may be causing it. The radiologist doing the scan is a rather gorgeous girl that looks like she’s in her mid-20s.)

Me: “I have to ask. What’s the weirdest thing anyone’s ever asked you while you do this?”

Radiologist: “You’re not gonna believe this. Sometimes I have to do ultrasounds on guys’… um… testicles, and in the middle of it, they start asking me if I’m seeing anyone, or if I wanna go out, things like that.”

Me: “Wait. They’re having ultrasounds done on their balls and they think they have a shot?”

Radiologist: “Yeah. And it’s always the ones who need them scanned, too. It’s never the ones who need their chest or anything else scanned; it’s always the ones who need their testicles scanned. Maybe it’s because my hand has to be… you know, down there to do the scans.”

Me: *laughs* “Ever been tempted to tell them, ‘You know I’m taking pictures of something that might not be working, right?’”

Radiologist: *bursts out laughing*

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:31
What Part Of “NO MORE” Do You Not Understand?
HEALTH & BODY, HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 19, 2020
(I go into labor with my son. My mother-in-law drives me to the hospital and they admit me right away as I am dilated enough that the birthing process can begin. I should note that the pregnancy has not been the best as I was a super sick one and had additional complications that necessitated ultrasounds — the invasive kind — every week after the first three months of pregnancy. I already decided long before we had our child that this would be my first and last child, as I have four stepkids, all of whom fulfill my life. Skip ahead to the labor. I ask for an epidural as my pain tolerance is low. The epidural has to be administered three times due to an unknown condition with scoliosis. The first time, nothing happens but lots of pain. The second time, only a portion of my body is numb but not the parts I need. Finally, the third time, it is bliss. I no longer feel pain, only enough pressure to get through the task. Everything goes smoothly from there. Then, I ask to be put back on the depo shot as I do not want to ever get pregnant again. I joke that I would get a hysterectomy if I could.)

Nurse #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Oh, honey, don’t worry. Let’s give you some time to let the pain meds wear off and think about birth control later. You are just scared because of your recent pregnancy.”

Me: “No, thank you. Can you please put me on the shot ASAP? It’s not because I disliked the experience; this was a decision made long before I became pregnant. I only want one child, as I am happy with our home dynamics as they are.”

(The next day, I ask another nurse for the depo shot.)

Nurse #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Okay, I’ll look into it.”

(Nothing ever happens. The next day, with another nurse…)

Me: “Hi. The pain medicine has worn off, which I know was a concern for the first nurse, and I would like to receive my depo shot now, while I am still admitted in the hospital.”

Nurse #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “Okay, I will look into it and see what we can do, but you are still very emotional from just having a child. Maybe give it a while before you decide to go back on birth control.”

Me: “Thank you, but I am certain I do not want to have any more children, and it’s not because of the labor experience I had.”

(Quite a time has passed, and I realize they are not looking into it for me. My final and last day in the hospital, I ask yet another nurse who is still skeptical, but finally, I get the shot and am happy to leave. Fast forward to my regular gynecologist appointment. The nurse asks me to take a pregnancy test and I say I will, but there is no need as my spouse has gotten a vasectomy. Only then do I realize she is one of the nurses from my time in the hospital; my gynecologist office is a part of the hospital that specializes in complications so for some things, the staff is the same.)

Nurse #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “Oh, I thought you were kidding about not having any more kids.”

Me: “No, I wasn’t, and since it is easier for men to get a vasectomy… that’s what we did. The depo shot now is to keep my endometriosis under control and a backup in case the vasectomy ever reverses itself.”

(Needless to say, I stopped using them as my doctor’s office and found a different one.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:31
A Most Unreceptive Receptionist
JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, RECEPTION, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 17, 2020
(I have a potential diagnosis of a rare and extremely painful neurological disorder. I have to schedule with a neurologist, who lives a four-hour drive from where I live. By this point, I’ve been in severe pain for several months, and my patience for rudeness is admittedly running a bit thin.)

Me: “Hi, I’m calling to see if I need an MRI before I come down.”

Receptionist: “The doctor will inform you if you need that at the appointment.”

Me: “Yes, I understand that, but it’s a four-hour drive to see this doctor and I have to stay overnight and I’d rather not have to do it more than once.”

Receptionist: *much more snippy than is necessary* “Well, that’s not my problem, is it?”

Me: “Pardon me, but I’ve been in fairly serious pain for a while and that’s why I’m calling your office — to make sure that the appointment to get rid of my pain runs smoothly.”

Receptionist: “There’s no reason to take that tone.”

Me: “Are you f****** kidding me?!”

Receptionist: “Young lady, if you insist on using that language with me, I will disconnect the call and inform [Doctor] of your attitude, and we’ll see if you see another neurologist in this hospital.”

(I disconnected the call, had a panic attack, and then cried with my mom for an hour. No one is making a first appointment with a specialist for happy fun times. If you don’t understand that someone is probably calling because they’re in pain or sick, maybe you shouldn’t work in healthcare.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:32
Their Brain Is Fried From All That Reading
FRANCE, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 15, 2020
(I have a health issue which means I have to stay for a few months at a medical facility specialized for this problem. As it is not a hospital, meals are not served in the patient rooms but in a communal space. It works like a standard cafeteria, where most of the food is easy to see, but fries and some others are made at a different station a bit removed from the counter — but still very easy to see. On top of that, there are multiple menus, including on the counter, spelling out what dishes are available on any given day. This is an example of a conversation I’ve had multiple times.)

Other Patient: *seeing my plate* “How did you get fries?!”

Me: “I just asked for them.”

Other Patient: “But how was I supposed to know they had fries? It’s not very clear. Are there fries every day?”

Me: “No, only on the days where it’s on the menu.”

Other Patient: “And how do you know what’s on the menu?”

(I point to the menu right above the counter, written in big enough letters to be read from afar.)

Other Patient: *absolutely serious* “Well, if I have to read…”

Me: *facepalm*

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:32
What A Pain In The Foot
BELGIUM, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, JERK | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 13, 2020
(I trip and somehow my foot doubles up under me. At the ER, though, the doctor tells me the acute pain is not from the fall but a consequence of me being overweight — which, admittedly, I am. However, the pain persists with no show of diminishing and I decide to go back to my GP. He acknowledges that the x-ray taken at the ER was not conclusive and decides I need another kind of picture, one with radioactive isotopes. Note: I’m thirtyish at the time and I’m with my parents as, clearly, I’m unable to drive. Waiting for my turn, I overhear the following:)

Doctor: “I don’t care what she says. She is sixteen and she is here with her mother. Of course, she is not going to admit to being pregnant. I’m not going to inject her–” *with the isotopes* “–without a negative pregnancy test.”

Me: *quietly, to my mother* “They didn’t force me to do a test and I’m here with my mum, too.”

(I didn’t find out whether the teenager was pregnant or not. When reviewing my pictures, the doctor told me, “Ma’am, one thing is sure: you are in pain.” As it turned out, I had injured my foot during the fall and had to wear a cast for six weeks.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:32
OBG! Will You Listen!
MEDICAL OFFICE, USA, WORDPLAY | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 11, 2020
(I am a female veteran and need to make an OBGYN appointment. I call the appointment line to schedule. To help with understanding, I have a female primary doctor, “Julianne Smith.” For my OBGYN, I see another female doctor, “Rita Wilson.”)

Me: “Hello, I need to make an appointment for the women’s clinic.”

Scheduler: “Okay, you need an appointment with your primary provider?”

Me: “Yes, for the OBGYN.”

(In VA hospitals, the women’s clinic is not just for OBGYN, but other health-related issues, where the staff and patients are all female. I see both my doctors in this space.)

Scheduler: “Okay, so that’s with Julianne?”

Me: “No, not with her, the other one.”

Scheduler: “Oh, you meant your primary provider, Dr. Smith?”

Me: “No, please, I need the OBGYN.”

Scheduler: “Yes, Julianne?”

Me: “No, I need an appointment with Dr. Wilson.”

Scheduler: “Yes, Julianne?”

Me: “No! I need… Wait, are you saying Julianne or OBGYN?”

Scheduler: “OBGYN!”

Me: *now half deaf* “Okay, yes, the OBGYN. That’s the doctor I need to see.”

(The rest of the call went more smoothly after that!)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:33
Wait A Minute…
MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, USA, UTAH, WORDPLAY | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 9, 2020
(I am a female. I wake up one morning and feel the indications of a flare-up of my Bell’s Palsy. When I get into work, I decide to call my doctor’s office to see if I can get in today to be checked out. They are able to squeeze in an appointment this morning for me. I arrive at the clinic well before my appointment time and find the waiting room quite busy. Knowing I am fortunate to even get an appointment this morning, I settle into a chair and wait to be called back to the exam rooms. Nearly an hour later, I am called back by the nurse. As she leads me to the exam room, we stop off at the scale to get weight and temperature. As I step off the scale, disappointed at the number, the nurse leads me on to the exam room and says to me:)

Nurse: “Sorry about your wait.”

Me: “Umm, yeah. Me, too.”

(My mind, still on the scale results, thinks she meant “weight” and now I’m wondering if I should be offended. Had she said, “Sorry about THE wait,” I probably would not be so confused.)

Me: *finally realizing what she meant* “Oh, you meant the waiting room.”

Nurse: “Yes! I would never…”

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:40
We Need To Quarantine Up All The Stupid
ASSISTED LIVING, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, MICHIGAN, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 7, 2020
(I work at the front desk of an assisted living community and at this time, a nasty norovirus is making its rounds of our residents and staff. We’ve been on a “visitor restriction” and quarantine for the past week, meaning unless your visit is mandatory for the continued well-being of the resident, you don’t come in. We’ve emailed all of the family, friends, and health care companies about the restrictions, asking them to call if they’re thinking about a visit, and I’ve posted a sign on the front door, with bold, black lettering highlighted in florescent orange, right at an average eye-level height.)

Visitor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : *walks in, oblivious to the sign* “Hello!”

Me: “Hello! Before you sign in, I have to let you know we’re under quarantine at the moment, so all visitors are restricted.”

Visitor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Oh? What’s going on?”

Me: “Well, like the sign on the door says…” *goes on to explain and they leave*

Visitor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *waltzes in, ignoring the sign* “Good morning!”

Me: “Good morning! Just so you know…” *explains quarantine again*

Visitor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Huh! You should really post a sign or something!”

Me: *glances between her and the sign* “Yeah…”

Visitor #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “What do you mean, you’re still under quarantine?! I drove [amount of miles] to visit [Resident]! I’m her daughter!”

Me: “We called, emailed, and posted signs asking visitors to call before they come. I see you’re on the list that we called. Is [number/email] your correct phone number and email?”

Visitor #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “Well, I got the call, but I didn’t think it applied to me!”

(I will never, in my years of working with the general public, understand why people are so g**d*** stupid.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:41
Unable To Digest That Women Have Other Parts
BIGOTRY, FRANCE, HEALTH & BODY, JERK, PHARMACY | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 5, 2020
(My aunt wakes up one day with very bad stomach pain and gas. My uncle goes to the pharmacy for her and has this conversation with the pharmacist at the counter.)

Uncle: “My wife has stomach pain; what kind of medicine should she take?”

Pharmacist: *in a nonchalant tone* “It must be period cramps. Don’t worry.”

Uncle: “My wife who’s menopaused for two years? I don’t think so.”

Pharmacist: “Then it’s her menopause. Again, no worries.”

Uncle: “I didn’t know menopause could cause stomach pain.”

Pharmacist: *now with a more pedantic tone* “Well, you see, it’s not her stomach. Don’t worry about it.”

(By now my uncle is getting a little pissed off by the pharmacist’s insistence, so he puts his hands on the counter and speaks slowly.)

Uncle: “Listen here. My wife wakes up with stomach pain. The upper part of her belly is swollen; that’s where the stomach is. And she has gas coming from her digestive system, where the stomach is connected. Can I have a medicine for that or not?”

(The pharmacist went to his manager, who found the correct medicine in one minute. We don’t know why he was so insistent with his false diagnosis.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:41
Proving These Things Can Be A Real Pain In The Butt
ELEMENTARY/PRIMARY SCHOOL, HEALTH & BODY, MALAYSIA, NURSES | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 3, 2020
(The vaccine for tuberculosis is called BCG and it’s given to newborn infants in many countries. It leaves a small scar that proves you have been vaccinated. In Malaysia, it is administered on the left shoulder. Up until the ’90s, kids used to get a booster shot in year six of primary school, around age 11 or 12. Since it’s reputed to be a rather painful jab, my entire class is already quite apprehensive when we’re lined up in front of the school nurse, and then this happens:)

Nurse: “Where’s your original BCG scar?”

Me: “It’s on my backside.”

Nurse: “What do you mean? How come you don’t have it on your shoulder?”

Me: “I was born in Singapore! In Singapore, they jab babies on the backside!”

Nurse: “I have to check.”

Me: “Can’t I just phone my parents and have them talk to you?”

(After arguing with her for a few minutes, I was so scared that I would have to lift my skirt and show the nurse my buttocks that when she finally gave in and just gave me the jab, the pain was actually a relief.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:42
Have A Bad Feeling In The Back Of My Throat About This
AUSTRALIA, AUSTRALIAN CAPITAL TERRITORY, CANBERRA, HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NURSES | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 1, 2020
(I am scheduled for a tonsillectomy in the afternoon. My mother gets a call in the morning.)

Nurse: “Is [My Name] all ready for her big surgery?”

Mother: “I guess so; I haven’t heard from her today.”

Nurse: “She hasn’t eaten in the past twelve hours, has she?”

Mother: “I wouldn’t know.”

Nurse: “You should know. She may not be able to have surgery if she ate; it’s too dangerous!”

Mother: “Given that she’s a twenty-seven-year-old woman, why don’t you call her mobile and ask her whether she ate?”

Nurse: *embarrassed silence*

(Most people having this surgery are children, and it’s protocol to call their parents and confirm the surgery. Why they didn’t check the age of the patient before calling my emergency contact is beyond me! It was funny at the time but also a breach of my privacy.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:43
This Doctor Is Not The Antibiotic Cream Of The Crop
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HEALTH & BODY, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, MEDICAL OFFICE, UK | HEALTHY | JANUARY 30, 2020
(I go to the doctor due to fainting.)

Doctor: “Have you ever had eczema?”

(Eczema is a dry skin condition and cannot cause fainting.)

Me: “Yes, but not for years and I don’t currently have it.”

Doctor: “It’s just eczema; take cream and you’ll be fine.”

Me: “But why am I collapsing?”

Doctor: “You’ll be fine; just put antibiotic cream on.”

(Three hours later, I collapsed and hit my head, ending up in A&E. It turns out I’m epileptic.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:44
The MRI Is Not A Time Machine
IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA, WEATHER | HEALTHY | JANUARY 28, 2020
(I work in an outpatient radiology facility. We have normal operating hours of 8:00 am to 5:00 pm, with the exception of MRI, which is open until 9:00 pm due to demand. On the day this story takes place, we have been having terrible winter weather with lots of snow and wind. Many sections of the freeway have been closed, but not all. I answer a call from a patient scheduled for one of our evening appointments.)

Patient: “I have an appointment tonight at 5:30, but I was wondering if I could come in earlier?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but our schedule is completely full. I don’t have any earlier spots I could move you to.”

Patient: “But I have another appointment tonight and I’m afraid I won’t be out in time.”

Me: “I can move your appointment to another day if you need.”

Patient: “No, I really need to get this done today. Are you sure you don’t have anywhere you could put me?”

Me: “No, I don’t, I’m afraid. There is someone scheduled right before you and our appointments are back to back.”

Patient: *hems and haws in an irritated way* “Well, what if I come in earlier anyway?”

Me: “You can, but it would just be that much longer you have to wait for your scan.”

Patient: “Why? What’s your logic?”

Me: *thinking, seriously?* “Because the person ahead of you will still be in the machine and it won’t be ready for you yet.”

Patient: *hems and haws some more* “Well, can’t you just switch me with them?”

Me: *knowing the person ahead of him is coming from over an hour away on terrible roads, but of course, I can’t say that* “No, sir, I can’t do that. Again, I can change your appointment to another day if this evening won’t work.”

Patient: *hems and haws even more* “No, I’ll just see you tonight.”

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:44
They Need Brain Drops
FINLAND, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, INSURANCE, PHARMACY, STUPID | HEALTHY | JANUARY 26, 2020
(I work in a pharmacy. The national Finnish health insurance covers certain medicines — insulin, medicine for glaucoma, etc. — almost 100%; you only pay 4,50 euros for three months’ use. But there is a price range the insurance covers and if there are less expensive generic alternatives, the insurance covers only the cheapest for 4,50€. You can still have the more expensive brand, but you have to pay the price difference yourself. Some medicines don’t have generic alternatives for years, but when they eventually come available, this is often the discussion:)

Me: “This eyedrop used to be 4,50€ but now there’s another brand that is 19€ cheaper so the health insurance covers only the cheaper one for that price. If you don’t want to change brands, you have to pay 4,50€ plus 19€; that is 23,50€.”

Patient: “Okay, I don’t want to change brands; I want to talk with my doctor first. I’ll take the original.”

Me: “Yes, that’s fine. You can have either one, but for the original, you now have to pay 23,50€.”

Patient: “Yes, but I don’t want another brand. I’ll just take the original today and talk with my doctor about the generic alternative. I’ve always used [Brand]. I’ll take that one.”

Me: “All right. I understand the situation. There used to be only [Brand] but last month [Cheaper Brand] became available and they set their price much lower. That is why the health insurance doesn’t cover the original [Brand] anymore, even though it used to cost only 4,50€. But you can still always choose the original one if you want. It’s just a bit more expensive now.” *enters the original brand on the computer and sends the customer to pay*

(An hour goes by and the telephone rings:)

Patient: “Yeah, I was there earlier and bought my glaucoma drops. They should be 4,50€ but it says on the receipt that I paid 23,50€ ! Why was it so much?”

Me: “…” *loses a little bit more faith in humanity every time*

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:45
Make Cheesy Choices, Suffer Cheesy Consequences
CONFERENCE, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, FUNNY NAMES, SILLY, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 26, 2020
The healthcare organization where I work is setting up an educational conference for our members, who are mostly doctors and nurses. When people register for the conference online, they have the option of customizing their name badges with nicknames and Twitter handles.

My coworker is preparing attendee name badges and notices something. An attendee, a doctor whose last name includes the word “cheese,” has customized his nickname to “The Cheeseman.” After much deliberation, we decide to print the name badge as-is.

At the conference, my coworker meets the attendee, hands him his registration packet, and shows him the name badge.

Doctor: “Wow… I don’t remember doing that. I must have been s***faced!”

Coworker: “We can print you a new one, if you’d like.”

Doctor: *Solemnly, and a little sadly* “No… No, I deserve this.”

He took his badge and wore it for the entire conference.

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:45
The Fall (And Rise) Of Medical Care
ASSISTED LIVING, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, EDITORS' CHOICE, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, THE NETHERLANDS | HEALTHY | JANUARY 24, 2020
(About ten years ago, I worked on an island off the Dutch coast in a nursing home. This happened on one of my night shifts. Note, at that time there were no helicopters allowed to fly at night. It’s just after 12 when I get a call from a resident. I can’t hear her, so I run as fast as I can to her to see if she needs help. The moment I step through the bathroom door, I can see she’s broken her hip. As she’s quite a big woman, my coworker and I can’t get her off the ground, so we call the local GP, who sends the ambulance to help us out. I ask him what medication she should be given, as she’s already in a lot of pain. The GP replies that I can give her paracetamol and call him if it’s not enough. Ten minutes later, the ambulance is onsite and they lift the resident into her bed. I give her 1000 mg paracetamol and cross everything in hopes it’ll at least do something. Forty-five minutes later, it’s clear it didn’t do anything — not surprising, really — and I call the GP again. He tells me to give her another dose of paracetamol and he says she’ll be transported off the island on the quick ferry around 8:00 am. I tell him that I don’t think paracetamol is going to cut it, but he insists. Another 45 minutes later, I call him again, saying it didn’t help and her condition is worsening due to the immense pain she’s in. I can see her getting a fever, amongst other things. He tells me to give her paracetamol again. By this time, she’s had 3000 mg in just over 90 minutes! It’s not good, but I’m not allowed to give her anything else, nor do I have the right papers to decide on anything else. I’m really frustrated and get the feeling the GP is not listening to anything I say. I go and have a look at the medication cabinet and find an unopened bottle of morphine that was described to a resident that died two weeks ago. I call the GP again and ask him to allow me to give her morphine, instead. He says yes, go ahead. Then, the following conversation takes place.)

Me: “All right, if you’ll send me the prescription by fax I’ll get right on it.”

GP: “Yeah, just give her [dose]; I’ll write the prescription in the morning.”

Me: “No, you know I’m not allowed to do that; it’s morphine. I need that prescription.”

GP: “In the morning!” *hangs up*

(I call right back.)

Me: “[GP’s First Name], I’ll give you exactly five minutes to write and fax that prescription, before I’ll head over to your house, grab you by the hair, and drag you out of bed to write it. Understood? Your time starts now!” *hangs up*

(It’s not nice of me, I know, but I’m really tired and I feel unheard. I walk over to the fax and within three minutes, the prescription has arrived. My coworker — who’s been doing all the work I should have been doing in the meantime — and I give the resident the morphine and within ten minutes I can see it’s finally working and the pain gets a bit less by around three in the morning. I start doing some other work, like writing a report for the hospital and packing a bag for the resident. At around five, I get a phone call.)

GP: “Hi, [My Name], since you haven’t called again I gather the morphine has started working?”

Me: “Yes, it has. She’s doing a bit better; she’s still in pain, but the edge is taken off.”

GP: “Yes, well, you know I said she’d be getting on the quick ferry? I’m having a problem as I need that spot for a woman in labour.”

Me: “So… she’s flying at dawn?”

GP: “Well… no. The helicopter is standing by for a man with heart problems.”

Me: “Right. So, normal ferry it is?!”

GP: “You see, that’s the problem. There’s nobody at the ferry headquarters who can accompany her. I can’t do anything other than hope to get her on the next ferry at noon.”

(That would be over 12 hours after she’s taken the fall and I know she’ll get worse if this takes too long.)

Me: “You know, I’m on the normal ferry this morning. I can accompany her.”

GP: “Really?”

Me: “Yes, if [Ferry Company] allows it, I can do it.”

GP: “I’ll call them and let them know.”

(They did allow me to accompany her; they even reimbursed my ticket and gave me breakfast! In the end, I did report my behaviour to my boss and told her what I’d said to the GP. She laughed it off and told me not to worry, as she thought it was hilarious.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:45
The Tooth Of The Matter Is, They Suck
DENTIST, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, JERK, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, PENNSYLVANIA, RECEPTION, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 22, 2020
Around mid-October, I begin to feel pain on the upper side in the back of my jaw. I didn’t have my wisdom teeth out as a teen, so I know I’ve waited too long to have them removed. At this point in my life, I’m on state Medicaid; I find a dentist who takes my insurance and see them in early November. The dentist confirms it’s my wisdom teeth coming in and refers me to an oral surgeon, as the X-rays indicate that all four are bone-impacted.

I call the oral surgeon’s office and get an appointment for December 28th. It goes well; they take another set of X-rays that informs us that the roots of my top wisdom teeth have grown into my sinus cavity. The bottom two are close enough to my nerve that he wants all four extracted, I will have to be anesthetized for it, and they need to come out ASAP. He assures they’ll submit the paperwork and the insurance will get back to me within two weeks.

I leave satisfied.

Two weeks roll around, nothing. I give calling the insurance an extra day, due to Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. They inform me that they have no record of any submission at all. They call the oral surgeon’s office and assure me that the office will resubmit the paperwork. I ask her how long it will take — by this point, one wisdom tooth has partially erupted; the other side of that tooth is pushing on my last molar — and am informed if the office submits online, it will take two days.

I then call the oral surgeon to find out how they might be submitting the paperwork, so I can find out how long I’m going to be in pain. I speak with a lovely woman who, in response to my question, replies, “I don’t know,” and hangs up on me. I call back immediately; it goes straight to the office message.

I call the insurance company back and ask if anything can be done. At this point, I can only wait for them to submit the paperwork, but I am urged that if they don’t, to contact state Medicaid and make a complaint.

I wait 24 hours and call the surgeon again. This time I get another woman, who is actually helpful. Surprise, surprise, no one submitted my paperwork. They also can only submit by mail, so there is at least a two-week wait. [Employee #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] assures me that she’ll submit the paperwork. She apologizes for her coworker with an exasperated sigh that tells me this isn’t the first problem [Employee #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] has caused.

Two weeks pass. I finally get a response from the insurance company in the mail: the extraction is approved, but general anesthesia is not. According to the paperwork, whoever submitted used the wrong code for the new year and it needs to be resubmitted, again.

It’s now Mid-February and I have been dealing with wisdom tooth pain since October. I can barely eat or sleep because of the pain.

I call state Medicaid and make a complaint about the way I was treated and how the situation was handled. I am told that my complaint is not valid because I did not receive services from the surgeon. They also will not approve the general anesthesia because I do not have any medical reason for it, i.e., fear of needles, anxiety, etc. To have all four bone-impacted wisdom teeth removed. At one time. No need. At all.

I find another dentist farther from my area and make the earliest appointment they have. They recommend me to another surgeon, even farther than the first surgeon. I get an appointment with the second surgeon within the week. He apologizes for the first surgeon and assures me that they’ll handle it properly.

It’s now the beginning of March. I get the paperwork from the insurance regarding the new surgeon’s submission; everything’s perfect. I have the surgery on March 27th, half a year after the pain started. It takes longer than expected, as my mouth is small; the surgeon has to take my bottom wisdom teeth in pieces to work around the nerves. I am advised to stay on bed-rest for the next five days.

Everything works out just fine — months pass and my jaw has healed completely. I end up getting a full-time job and dental insurance — different from state Medicaid — through them.

Sometime around August, I get a letter in the mail from my insurance, denying payment for an appointment from the very first dentist I saw about a referral to an oral surgeon.

I call that dentist and have my files transferred as quickly as I can.

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:46
Try Dispensing A Little Information?
AUSTRALIA, PHARMACY, STUPID | HEALTHY | JANUARY 18, 2020
Me: “Can I help you find something in particular?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a box of medicine.”

Me: “Okay, is it for you?”

Customer: “No, my friend.”

Me: “What was it for?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Do you know what it looks like?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “What do you use it for?”

Customer: “Err, I don’t know.”

Me: “Is it for stomachache, headache?” *pointing to these areas*

Customer: “I don’t know.”

(I pause to try and think of some way to help.)

Customer: “Can I go in there?” *points to the dispensary*

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Oh. I’ll ring my friend.”

(She went outside to ring her friend but she never returned! I never got to find out what box of medicine she wanted!)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:46
Some People Are Terrified Of Even A Sniff Of Gay
BIGOTRY, OHIO, PETS & ANIMALS, STUPID, USA, VET | HEALTHY | JANUARY 15, 2020
(I’m at a vet’s office for my pug when I overhear this:)

Receptionist: “No, ma’am, your dog is not gay. They sniff each other’s rear ends to introduce themselves. All dogs do it.”

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:47
The Dermatologist Will Determine That You Need Thicker Skin
IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, TEXAS, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 12, 2020
(My doctor’s office is small, with only one dermatologist, a physician assistant, and a nurse practitioner. The doctor and nurse practitioner see daily, while the PA is only here Tuesdays and Thursdays. Even so, our schedule stays booked, and new patients have been calling all through the month to get on the schedule.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Office]; how can I help you?”

Patient: “If I walk in there today, can I be seen by the doctor?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. The doctor is out on vacation until the week after next, and our nurse practitioner has no openings currently.”

Patient: “Well, can I get on the schedule for this week?”

Me: “Sir, it’s Friday. We don’t have any openings today.”

Patient: “What about next week?”

Me: “We don’t have any then, either, because we’re only open Monday, Thursday, and Friday next week, due to New Year’s Eve and Day.”

Patient: “Really? You can’t just nudge someone for me?”

Me: “We don’t do that, sir. You can call each day to see if an appointment is available if you like, but I can’t promise we’ll have an opening for you.”

Patient: “Well, what’s your next available appointment?”

Me: “For the doctor, mid-February. To see the PA or nurse practitioner, it’ll be mid-January.”

Patient: “That’s too long! I have really good insurance! You’re sure there’s nothing at all?”

Me: *checks schedule, just in case, though I have looked at it extensively by this point* “No, sir, nothing has opened up. I can set you for January 14th with our PA, if you’d like.”

Patient: “I can’t believe this! What’s the point of having good insurance if you’re not going to fit me in?”

Me: “We only have one provider here today, and there’s only so many people she can see. The same goes for next week, as well.”

Patient: “So knock someone!”

Me: “I’m not going to do that, sir.”

Patient: “UGH! Forget this!”

(He called back forty minutes later to have a similar conversation with my coworker and then threw a large fit that she didn’t have anything until the end of January due to the influx of calls. The weird part is that there’s another dermatology office in the same city, and another in the next city 20 minutes away, so he had options.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:47
Eye See What You’re Doing
JERK, LIARS/SCAMMERS, OHIO, OPTOMETRIST/OPTICIAN, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 9, 2020
(I work in a fairly busy eye clinic. Despite having eleven doctors, spots for our regular eye exams are booked out months in advance. However, we keep emergency spots open for any patients that need to be seen immediately. Note that it’s also Christmas time, one of our busiest times of year because people have met their deductibles and want to be seen before the end of the year. I’m looking at the schedule one day and see a name I recognize. It’s a woman who’s called in several times wanting a regular eye exam with one and only one particular doctor, who happens to be the most popular doctor at our practice, whose schedule is the hardest to get into. But I see she’s coming in for an emergency situation, while said doctor is in the office, which should only take maybe half an hour — our regular eye exam patients are usually there for an hour and a half. Lucky me, I get her chart when she comes in. I walk her back to the exam room.)

Me: “So, what brings you in today? My note line states you’re having some new flashes and floaters?”

(We take these very seriously as they can mean a retinal detachment.)

Patient: “Oh, no, nothing like that. I just told them that because I knew I could get in. I just want my regular eye exam. You have to help me now that I’m here.”

Me: *dumbfounded* “One moment, ma’am.”

(I walk out of the room to talk to my doctor. She already has a completely booked schedule for the day and adding the extra testing would set her behind for all the other patients who had a legitimate appointment. Unfortunately, my doctor is also a super nice woman who tells me to go ahead and do the exam. I do the exam but inform the patient it will be a long wait due to the change in exam type because we now have different things we have to do and she’ll be placed in the wait box behind other patients who are already there — there were about three people in front of her. She says it’s fine and goes to wait in the waiting area. Ten minutes into waiting, she comes up to me complaining she still hasn’t seen the doctor yet. I tell her she will be seen as soon as it’s her turn. Apparently, that’s not good enough for her.)

Patient: “You dumb b****! I’m here for an emergency! I should be seen before all these people!”

Me: “Ma’am? You told me earlier you’re here for a regular eye exam, not the emergency you told them so you could be seen. My doctor was kind enough to let you stay in the schedule despite this. She will get to you as soon as she can.”

Patient: “That’s not my f****** problem. She needs to see me now!”

(My doctor heard the commotion as she was stepping out of her current exam room. She told me to just bring the patient in and she’d see her so she’d stop bothering everyone. The lady gave me a smug smile as she walked into the exam room. I hate when they reward bad behavior. Of course, that left me in a room with other patients who had actually been waiting their turns, glaring at me.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:47
Pushing Buttons Is Not Your Calling
HOSPITAL, NON-DIALOGUE, NURSES, PENNSYLVANIA, PITTSBURGH, TECHNOLOGY, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 6, 2020
I am in the hospital after having emergency surgery on a dislocated ankle and a broken leg. It is the middle of the night and my post-surgery pain medicine has worn off. I locate the nurse call button and press it, but nothing happens. I do this multiple times, to no avail.

I grab my cell phone and use the flashlight to light up the room telephone so I can read the number. I call the number and let the phone ring. It is loud and doesn’t stop, because I don’t answer it. After about five minutes, a nurse comes to investigate why the phone is ringing, and I am able to tell her I’m in extreme pain.

She brings me pain medicine and tells me that they’ve had issues with the button in the past. It wasn’t unplugged or anything; it just flat out didn’t work! Why they’d still use it completely mystifies me!

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:48
Giving Them The Stink-Eye
COWORKERS, HEALTH & BODY, NON-DIALOGUE, OFFICE, REVOLTING, TEXAS, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 1, 2020
At my job, I’m considered a lead, so if an employee brings in any paperwork that needs to go to human resources or needs their paycheck, I handle it.

An employee came up to me, handed me their doctor’s note, and asked if they could get their paycheck. I put the doctor’s note in the scanner, and then I handed them the paperwork for their paycheck along with a pen to sign with. After they signed, I signed.

I then copied the doctor’s note, and as I was handing them their copy, I saw the reason they had been out: “conjunctivitis” or pink eye. I looked at them with a “Really?” look.

I went to my locker and got hand sanitizer. As I came back to the desk, the employee told me, “You might want to sanitize the pen; I’m still contagious.”

I waited until she left and then sanitized the door handles to our office and threw away the pen. I sat there wondering about what an idiot she was while the other employees laughed at me.

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:48
You Have To Spell It Out To Them
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, JERK, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 29, 2019
(I have recently been diagnosed with epilepsy at age fifteen and am at my fourth or fifth neurology appointment. For some background, some types of epilepsy can be categorized as “reflex,” meaning there is usually a trigger — most people are familiar with flashing lights — but there are a huge variety of triggers, ranging from drinking alcohol to hearing a specific kind of music. I am describing to my neurologist some symptoms I’ve been experiencing.)

Me: “Sometimes while I’m reading, I’ll have spells where the words are very difficult or I can’t read them at all.”

Neurologist: *mostly disinterested* “Oh… Well, have you been diagnosed with learning issues?”

(I’ve told him all of this before.)

Me: “No. I’ve been reading since I was four and it’s actually one of my favorite things to do. I’ve never shown any signs of dyslexia or anything like it.”

Neurologist: “Do you notice any patterns to when this occurs?”

Me: “I’ve noticed it happening a lot when I’m reading in Spanish.”

(I’m in AP Spanish and have been studying the language for around six years; I’m definitely not fluent yet but am reasonably proficient. I have also told him this before.)

Neurologist: *long silence* “You’re probably just bad at Spanish. Go ahead and schedule another appointment for a month out.” *leaves*

(I ended up not telling my parents about this part of the appointment for around six months because I was embarrassed and believed my neurologist that I was probably exaggerating. However, during this time, the symptoms worsened, so I told my parents who found another neurologist — incidentally, around thirty years younger. He immediately diagnosed me with reading epilepsy, which is fairly uncommon but absolutely not unheard of and has nothing to do with any prior learning disabilities. For me, it is triggered by unfamiliar words, which, obviously, come up more often in a second language. I’ve now, thankfully, been able to receive much better care.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:49
Assign The Doctor A Memory Test
AUSTRALIA, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, MEDICAL OFFICE, NEW SOUTH WALES, SYDNEY | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 27, 2019
(I have been going to the same GP since I was about fifteen, my daughter since she was born, but it seems to be time to find a new one as ours is showing his age; he has been getting more and more forgetful. I have ordered blood tests as I have developed some allergies recently; my daughter needs hers done for a heart issue and also needs a script for heart meds. He asks her what she needs this particular medicine for and we have to explain, even though he has been doing the scripts for the past five years. We get our bloods at the same time. He starts with my daughter’s and tells her that everything but her iron levels is in the normal range. He gives her the printed results to take to her cardiologist; he is going to print a copy for himself but he writes the results into her file. Then, he goes over mine. He reads out everything as good, but when he gets to my liver results…)

GP: “Oh, no, we need to get you some tests right away; your liver results are not good.”

Me: “Yes, I know. I have [liver disease].”

GP: “You have [liver disease]? Who told you that?”

Me: “You did.”

GP: “Not me. I would have remembered that. There would be notes and paperwork in your file.” *rifles through files to prove it isn’t there and finds the paperwork* “Oh, I did tell you.”

(We realise that he’s not given us a new referral letter for the cardiologist appointment, so we go back.)

GP: “Okay, [Daughter], we need to get blood tests done for you to take to your appointment.”

Daughter: “I had the blood tests done already.”

GP: “Who with?”

Daughter: “Uh, you.”

GP: *rifles through her files and after looking over some paperwork* “Oh, looks like you have to get more sun; you have very low Vitamin D.”

Daughter: “No, you said low iron.”

GP: “No it’s Vitamin D. Look; it’s only sixteen.” *hands her a blood test result*

Me: “No, she had low Vitamin D last year; this time it was low iron.”

GP: “It says it right there.”

Daughter: “Um, this is last year’s result; look at the date.”

GP: “It has it on this result, too. You had the test in September.” *holds up another sheet that I take off him*

Me: “This is last year’s, too — September 2018. Her last one was in October this year.”

GP: “But the results aren’t here; if I did them they would be.”

Daughter: “You gave them to me.”

GP: “Why did I do that?”

Daughter: “I needed them for the cardiologist.”

GP: “But I would have written the results on your file and printed up a copy, as well; I definitely didn’t write anything.” *runs his finger up the writing on her files* “Oh, so I did.”

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:49
Quite The Operation Santa’s Got Going
ADORABLE CHILDREN, AWESOME, CALIFORNIA, COWORKERS, HOLIDAYS, INSPIRATIONAL, USA, VET | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 25, 2019
(I work at a vet clinic that is open late night for emergencies and offers boarding. A couple of years ago, [Former Coworker] had to stop working in order to care for a disabled family member, but she left on good terms with the doctor and still has coffee with the manager regularly. Her son has been asking for a dog for quite a while now. Not just any dog, he knows the exact breed and color pattern he wants. At the staff meeting Monday, the doctor let us all know that [Former Coworker] was going to be surprising her son with a puppy for Christmas. She had found the exact dog he wanted and would be adopting it later this week and bringing it here to board with us until late Christmas Eve when she would pick it up. The morning she brings the puppy in, [Coworker] and I are working at the front desk. She is greeting people as they walk in and handling check-ins. I am checking out a family who just finished their cat’s exam. They have a little girl about six years old, too short to be seen over the counter from where [Coworker] is.)

Coworker: “Hello, how can I… Oh, hey, [Former Coworker], long time no see. So, this is the puppy Santa is bringing [Son]? He’s gonna be so thrilled; it’s exactly what he’s been asking for.”

Young Girl: *very loudly* “If Santa is bringing that puppy to someone, why is he here? Shouldn’t he be at the North Pole?”

(My coworker is clearly at a loss for words and starts sputtering.)

Former Coworker: *just hands [Coworker] the puppy and bends down to the girl* “Your parents haven’t told you? See, when Santa brings a child a pet he calls the parents first to make sure the house has everything that it needs, like food and toys and a dog bed, and space for the animal, and that the kid can take care of it. Then, if the parents say it’s okay, Santa looks all over the world to find the perfect animal, and then, because he doesn’t want the puppies and kittens to get bored in the sleigh and eat other kid’s presents, he has his helpers take them to a safe place near the kid’s house. So, Christmas Eve, Santa will come here and pick up the puppy right before coming to [Son]’s house.”

Little Girl: “Oh, so, that’s why when I got [Cat], Santa just brought her bed and food and had Mommy take me to the shelter after Christmas?”

Former Coworker: “Exactly, he knew [Cat] would be happier playing at the shelter rather than being stuck in his sleigh all night, and that she would just get into trouble with all the wrapping paper on Christmas morning.”

Mom: “That’s right; we got a call from an elf letting us know where [Cat] was.”

Former Coworker: “Yep, the elves have every parent’s phone number. Parents get calls from the elves to make sure they have the batteries and other things needed for the toys, helmets for when they get bikes, that sort of thing.”

(At this point, the girl’s family finishes paying and leaves, the little girl happily asking her parents if Santa has called them about presents this year.)

Coworker: *sighs in relief* “I can’t believe you thought of that so fast; I was so worried I’d just ruined Christmas.”

Former Coworker: *laughs* “Last year, my sister got caught by her girls setting up a playhouse, she told them that Santa was behind schedule and woke her up and asked her to put it together so it would be all ready in the morning. The girls just nodded and went back to bed, but in the morning, the oldest said it was a bit rude of Santa not to tell Mommy she would need to set it up. And we all agreed that Santa should have had an elf call first.”

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:50
Will Pass That Class Kicking And Screaming
HIGH SCHOOL, NEW JERSEY, NON-DIALOGUE, PRANKS, SILLY, TEACHERS, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 22, 2019
Many years ago, when I am in high school, I join my local volunteer first aid squad and sign up for EMT training. The classes are largely interesting, and I learn a lot. However, EMTs have a strange sense of humor sometimes.

When we get to the maternity section, the final exam for that part of the course consists of delivering a baby. This is accomplished with a set of special dummies: one which is made to replicate the lower body of a woman, and of course, the infant doll which the instructor pushes out for the person to deliver. The proper procedure is to “catch” the infant as it comes out, clean it gently, and then lay it on the mother’s chest for her to hold.

All is going well in the exam, the students having been broken up into groups and assigned to the dummy on which they will take the exam… until, that is, one of the instructors quietly goes around the room, collecting all of the infant dummies and secreting them away.

At this point, only one group is still testing, as there are no baby dummies to be had anywhere else. One young man approaches to begin his test, and the instructor who’d been taking the dummies steps up to administer it…

And proceeds to begin screaming at the top of his lungs.

The instructor is wailing like he’s being murdered, which, of course, causes the entire room to look over at what is going on. Never breaking his cry, he begins to push the infant doll through. The poor student is terrified, but he still follows procedure admirably.

But the instructor doesn’t stop screaming.

Not sure what to do, the boy is standing there when another infant starts to come out. So he catches that one, too. Then, the next one. And the one after that. Each time they come faster and faster. It looks like an “I Love Lucy” routine as the poor boy is struggling to catch the dolls, clean them, and place them before the next one comes. It’s to the point where he is stacking the babies like logs on the “mother” because there is no room for them, and he barely manages to put one down before the next one is out.

All the while, the instructor never stops wailing.

The rest of the class is, of course, cracking up. We’re all laughing so hard we can’t breathe. The poor student is handling it admirably, though, never giving up or getting mad. Finally, about two dozen babies later, the instructor runs out of dummies. The test is allowed to end, and the instructor ceases screaming.

The student does pass the exam, but he is admonished that in the future he probably shouldn’t stack newborn infants like Jenga blocks.

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:50
Welcome To The Stage, Ma’am-O-Gram!
EDITORS' CHOICE, HOSPITAL, INDIANAPOLIS, NON-DIALOGUE, RUDE & RISQUE, USA, WORDPLAY | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 20, 2019
During my regular mammogram, the doctor saw a lump that they wanted better images of, so I went to the clinic for the diagnostic mammogram follow-up. In my mid-forties now, I used to be an exotic dancer years ago, and I’m not exactly shy.

The nurse was getting me prepped for the diagnostic mammogram. This involved a couple of magic marker lines for orientation. She also applied some kind of metal sticker to point to the area of interest.

She turned to put a note in the file and told me, “Give me two shakes and we’ll get this done and over with.”

Odd directions… but I gave her my best shimmy, making sure that the sticker stayed attached to my swinging breasts.

She laughed so hard that she dropped her pen and needed a minute to recollect her professional cool.

Apparently, she meant the phrase “in two shakes of a lamb’s tail,” meaning, “in a short time.” She wasn’t expecting a show!

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:50
Emergency Services Needs To Address This Issue
COLORADO, EMERGENCY SERVICES, GEOGRAPHY, LAFAYETTE, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 18, 2019
(Leaving the fast-food drive-thru window, I am overwhelmed with a wave of nausea and dizziness. I manage to pull across several parking spaces and wait, hoping I’ll feel better. I don’t. I think I might pass out, and wish I’d throw up because that might make me feel better. Clearly, I can’t drive, and I have no idea what was wrong. Dizzy, scared, and disoriented, I call 911.)

911: “911! What’s the address of your emergency?”

Me: “I have no idea. I’m at the [Fast Food Restaurant] on the corner of [Highway] and [Cross street].”

911: “But I need a specific address.”

Me: “I can’t give you a specific address. I’m in pain and scared. I’m at–” *repeats cross streets* “Please help me!”

911: “We cannot help you without a street address, ma’am.”

Me: *losing my cool completely* “Okay, start at the hospital. Drive north on [Highway] a few blocks. When you get to [Major Store], look to the east, to your right. You will see [Fast Food Place] with a car parked across several spots. That’s me!”

(Funniest thing, they did find me! It turned out to be a kidney stone.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:51
Deck The Halls With Bouts Of Nausea
LAZY/UNHELPFUL, NON-DIALOGUE, PHARMACY, TEXAS, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 16, 2019
I have chronic nausea. I take a prescription nausea medication to keep it under control so I can eat and function. The nausea is related to stress, as well as my diagnosed depression and anxiety.

Six days ago at the time of writing, two days before Thanksgiving, my grandmother, who has to handle most phone calls for me due to my hearing issues, called the pharmacy to request a refill of my meds because I was almost out. Later, we got a call telling us that the refill request had been denied because my doctor’s office said I had to see the doctor before I could get a refill. I called the doctor the next day and was told that they had sent in an approval, but they would send another one to be sure.

Pharmacy still said they had no approvals, only a denial.

Thanksgiving came and the office was closed. I checked the pharmacy again, and they still said they only had a denial and couldn’t fill it.

Black Friday, same deal, but we got a call from someone at my doctor’s office informing us that they’d be closed until Monday. I only had enough of my meds to get me through Black Friday. I ended up skipping my second dose so I would have one for Saturday morning, and was unable to eat dinner on Friday.

Same deal with the pharmacy on both Saturday and Sunday. No approvals received, only one denial, and they still couldn’t fill it even though I was unable to eat or drink without it at this time. I even got on the phone myself and cry and beg the pharmacist to give me an emergency three-day supply that the law allows, and was told no because of the “denial.”

This morning, Cyber Monday, after going the entire weekend feeling like I was in Hell since eating was pretty much impossible, my grandmother called my doctor’s office to set up an appointment for the first time slot they could fit me into today.

She was informed that they absolutely did not send in a denial, I did not need to see my doctor before getting a refill, and that their system says I don’t have to see my doctor for a refill on my medication until sometime next year. My doctor knows that I need the medication every single day to be able to eat, and I’m about twenty pounds underweight right now due to stress-induced illness that lasted for three months solid, so I need to be able to get a refill at any time until I gain some weight back.

It turns out that someone at the pharmacy put it on my file that they were sent a denial and got no approvals whatsoever. A few hours ago, I got a text saying that I had a prescription ready for pickup, which would be done first thing in the morning because we couldn’t get to the store.

I have filed a complaint with corporate for the store the pharmacy is in, and my complaint has been forwarded to the store manager with the assurance that the incident will be investigated and that this absolutely should not have happened. The person I conversed with — via chat — was horrified about it.

I hope that pharmacist gets fired and feels proud of themselves for giving a disabled woman no less than five panic attacks over the course of three days and causing her a lot of unnecessary stress that has likely set back her recovery from illness. I won’t be able to fully enjoy Christmas with my family now because I’ll still be recovering and having trouble eating much food.

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:51
Just Another Kidney Stoner
BAD BEHAVIOR, HOSPITAL, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 15, 2019
(I have a massive kidney stone trying to pass. I’m in the hospital, waiting for surgery to reduce the size. I suddenly have massive pain, bad enough my vision goes fuzzy. I’m crying, unable to really form words. I press my call button. After a moment, a nurse comes in.)

Nurse: “Can I help you?”

Me: “Pain… bad…”

Nurse: “On a scale of one to ten?”

Me: “Ten!”

(Because of the pain, I practically shout the number.)

Nurse: “You don’t need to raise your voice! I’ll get you something!”

(She leaves and comes back a minute later with a pill.)

Nurse: “Here’s some Tylenol.”

(All I can do is look at her, since that won’t be anywhere near enough for how my pain is.)

Nurse: “Well?! Take it!”

Me: “Need more…”

Nurse: “Ugh, you’re probably just a drug seeker! I’m not giving you anything else!”

(At this point, I just break down sobbing. She storms out. A few minutes later, my doctor comes in.)

Doctor: “Are you okay?!”

Me: “Pain bad… help…”

Doctor: “Okay, sweetie, I just need to know if you can tell me what number you’re at.”

Me: “Ten…”

Doctor: “All right. Do you want me to wait here while I have someone bring you medication?”

Me: “Please!”

(She does stay with me. After she calls the pharmacy, she holds my hand and talks to me to calm me back down. Once the medication is brought up and put into my IV, she makes sure it starts working.)

Doctor: “Your nurse said you were asking for drugs?”

Me: “No, I pushed my call light and told her I was in pain. She yelled at me saying that’s all I wanted and then left.”

Doctor: “She apparently thought you were faking something to get pain meds for an addiction. There’s no way you could fake a kidney stone on the imaging results. I’ll make sure you don’t have to deal with her anymore.”

(True to her word, I didn’t see that nurse for the rest of my stay.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:52
That Flu Right Over Her Head
HEALTH & BODY, HIGH SCHOOL, JERK, LOUISIANA, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 13, 2019
(This event happens more than halfway through my junior year in high school. It’s important to note that prior to this, I have only missed about four or five days of school during my ENTIRE high school career, half of which were from when my grandmother died unexpectedly last year. This one particular morning, I wake up feeling like complete and utter crap. I also just so happen to have two major presentations today after lunch and my parents know about both of them. They basically have to fight to get me out of bed, accusing me of either lying or exaggerating to get out of my presentations. I manage to power through the first half of the day before breaking down at lunch and having my counselor essentially force my mother to come and get me. Naturally, she isn’t happy about it as she still thinks I’m purposefully trying to avoid my presentations.)

Mom: *in a very condescending tone* “I hope you’re prepared to go to the doctor. I’m bringing you back right after, too.”

(It’s very clear she’s trying to call my “bluff” and scare me into backing down, but I just quietly shrug. And just as she said, she brings me to a walk-in clinic near my school. After going through the standard procedure, the nurse seeing me takes a snot sample for a flu test.)

Mom: “I’m thinking it’s just a little cold at most.”

Nurse: “If that’s the case, we’ll probably just do a steroid shot, but let’s see the test results first.”

(She leaves and returns a few minutes later. To my mother’s surprise, the nurse is now wearing a procedure mask.)

Nurse: “So, he has the flu. We’re lucky y’all caught it within the first two days so we can write him a prescription for some Tamiflu that y’all can pick up at your preferred pharmacy. We’ll also give you a doctor’s note that says he can’t go to school until at least next Monday. Until then, make sure he gets plenty of rest and that he doesn’t have a fever for at least 48 hours prior to Monday.”

(My mother was horrified and ended up asking to have herself tested, too; she was negative. Although I feel bad for all my friends and classmates who sat by me that morning, I can’t help but gleefully remember my mom’s face when she realized that I wasn’t faking s***.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:52
When Laughter Is NOT The Best Medicine
CONNECTICUT, EMERGENCY SERVICES, PUNNY, SILLY, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 11, 2019
(I am a paramedic.)

Me: *to a patient* “Let me borrow your arm for a blood pressure check, please.”

(The patient extends their arm.)

Partner: “Don’t worry; she’ll give it back.”

Me: “Yeah. I got in way too much trouble last time for not giving it back. The police even chased me!”

Patient: “The police chased you?”

Me: “Yeah! For armed robbery!”

Partner: *groans and slams back doors of the ambulance while walking away*

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:52
It’s Not Just The Organs That Are Failing
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, JERK, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, URUGUAY | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 9, 2019
(When my brother is around nine, he wakes up screaming in pain. As we have no vehicle of our own and no way of getting a taxi or a lift, my mother has to walk with a screaming child two kilometers to the hospital. She went to nursing school, but is not currently working as a nurse.)

Doctor: *after barely poking him* “Well, seems to be just some gas. He’s probably just using the pain to get attention.”

(My mother looks at her like she’s crazy, while my brother still cries and screams.)

Mom: “My son is not like that. Look, I am a nurse. I’m pretty sure he has appendicitis.”

Doctor: “Oh, nonsense. You don’t know what you are talking about.”

Mom: “But I do–”

Doctor: “Listen. I am a doctor. You are just a nurse. He is fine. Now leave.”

(My mother leaves the hospital furious. Not surprisingly, two days later, my brother’s appendix ruptures. My mom manages to get a passing car to take them to the hospital, and my brother has surgery. Because the hospital has no full anesthesia, they have to use local — the kind that only numbs the area — and my brother is operated on while awake and screaming. While he is still in surgery, my mother runs into the doctor in the hallway.)

Doctor: “Oh, you are here again. What, does your son have a headache now? It might be a tumor, don’t you think?”

(My mother almost attacked her, but her father entered the hospital on time and stopped her. My brother survived and made a full recovery, and my mother reported the doctor; unfortunately, nothing came out of it at the time, but a few years later she was forced into retirement for repeatedly misdiagnosing patients.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 18:53
Bring Them Back In For A Brain Check
FLORIDA, MEDICAL OFFICE, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | DECEMBER 8, 2019
(I am at the checkout desk of an urgent care medical office.)

Coworker: “How was your visit today?”

Patient: “Pretty good. I don’t like going to the doctor, but this was a great experience. Everyone was really nice.”

Coworker: “Thanks! Glad everything went well. Yeah, I work in a doctor’s office and I don’t really like going to the doctor, either.”

Patient: “Oh, really? What kind of doctor’s office do you work in?”

My Brain: “Seriously? Did she just ask that?”

florida80
04-18-2021, 19:01
One Ring To Rue Them All
BAD BEHAVIOR, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 13, 2019
My mom has an accident at work and spills boiling water directly on her hand, badly burning several of her fingers, one of which happens to be the finger she wears her wedding ring on. Her boss drives her to a nearby pharmacy clinic where she is seen by the on-call doctor.

At this point, her fingers have swelled a lot, locking her wedding ring on her finger and causing painful constriction. It’s clear that the ring needs to be removed. My mother is assuming they will cut the ring off of her finger, which she is sad about, but at this point, she’s much more concerned about relieving the intense pain she is in. The doctor comes into the room and quickly examines her hand, saying, “What a beautiful ring! It would be such a shame to damage it by cutting it off!”

He then proceeds to forcibly yank the ring off of her finger past the swelling, putting my mother in even more pain and tearing open the blisters that have started to form.

She has since healed and is relieved to be able to wear her ring again and not need to pay to have it fixed, but she isn’t sure it was worth all of the pain and the extra time it took to recover due to the blisters being torn.

florida80
04-18-2021, 19:01
A Shot Of Ignorance
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, JERK, PATIENTS, THE NETHERLANDS | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 11, 2019
(One evening, I get the call every person with an elderly relative fears: my 90+ grandma has fallen down and can’t get up. Luckily, she ended up next to the phone; she actually tripped as she was walking over to it because it was ringing. Since everyone else in our small family is either on vacation, not on speaking terms with Grandma, or living in a nursing home on the other side of town and not in possession of a driving license — or their full mental faculties — I am the only one who can help her out. I race over, hoping it’s just a case of having to help her up because she is in an awkward position, but as soon as I walk in the door and see the unnatural angle of her leg, I know we have a fracture on our hands and have to go to the hospital. We end up in an examination room at the ER, waiting for either the x-ray nurse or the neurologist, whoever shows up first. The neurologist has been called because Grandma hit her head on the stone windowsill when she fell, which caused a small wound and a bit of blood. That wound is the cause of the following conversation with a very chipper ER doctor.)

Doctor: “Well, Mrs. [Grandma], I know you’re waiting for the x-ray nurse and the neurologist, but I’m neither; I’m just here to give you a little tetanus shot.”

(My grandma is neither stupid nor suffering from dementia, but she has never had more than an elementary-school education, and apparently, she never learned what a tetanus shot is, leading to this little gem:)

Grandma: “A tetanus shot? What is that for?”

Doctor: “Well, ma’am, that’s for what we call ‘street dirt’–“

Grandma: *interrupting indignantly* “Street dirt? I fell inside my own home!”

(She sounds like she thinks what the doctor said is the most ridiculous thing she’s ever heard, and he and I simply couldn’t contain our laughter. The doctor gives a brief explanation of what a tetanus shot is for, but too brief, apparently, because as soon as he is out the door…)

Grandma: “[My Name], what was all that about? I don’t get it. My house is clean!”

(I gave her a much more expansive explanation of germs, and why even her nice clean house wasn’t free of them. She was pretty horrified, but finding out her femur was broken soon took precedence. She could laugh about it later, though, when I mimicked her indignant tone. She almost sounded insulted at being associated with any kind of dirt.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 19:01
Mothers Are Fighters
AWESOME, HOSPITAL, INSPIRATIONAL, NEW YORK, NON-DIALOGUE, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 10, 2019
Two years ago, I was admitted into the hospital for seven weeks via the ER. In good weather, the hospital is roughly an hour away. My boys were three and eight at the time and I had been a stay-at-home mom for most of their lives. My parents stepped up and helped keep the kids on a regular pattern of school, therapy, and play dates along with FaceTiming me. My husband would drive two round-trips a day to stay with me, see our kids, take care of our pets, and work.

This pattern repeated itself over again for the next six months, and at one point, I was told to start preparing my boys for life without me. The staff at the hospital was amazing. They tried their best to give me a room that faced outwards so I could see the sunset. They made sure I could be unhooked from chemo and transfusions when my boys got to visit. Then, they completely surprised us on Christmas when they gave us a Christmas party in my hospital room.

There were presents, food, and joy even though it was extremely hard to be there. They helped me fight even when I was beyond exhausted.

They became my family and even now we all stay in touch. They were complete angels that helped our family get through an extremely scary time.

I’m now in remission and hopefully will get the “cured” status once I reach five years in remission.

florida80
04-18-2021, 19:02
Allow Me To As-cyst You
HOSPITAL, MEXICO, MEXICO CITY, SILLY | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 8, 2019
(I’m a licensed nurse. I work at a hospital, and I also make some money on the side by assisting a dermatologist at a private clinic when she needs an extra pair of hands for surgery. This patient has a cyst under the skin beneath her hair.)

Patient: “You have done this before?”

Me: “Sure! It’s actually pretty simple. We make an incision on your skin right here, drain the cyst, clean around, and sew you back up. I’m going to numb the area, so you won’t even feel a thing.”

Patient: “All right, then.”

Me: “Uh… look, honey, I’m going to have to shave your hair — a tiny spot right here — so that the doctor can see. I know, I know you won’t like that — no girl ever does — but I have to. Don’t hate me!”

Patient: *shrugs*

Me: *cuts the hair, and shaves the area*

Patient: *completely deadpan* “Oh, no, look at what you’ve done. Now I hate you.”

florida80
04-18-2021, 19:02
You Can’t Cough This Up To Cultural Differences
AUSTRALIA, HEALTH & BODY, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, NON-DIALOGUE | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 7, 2019
I came into work today to hear my coworker, the office supervisor, in a high-volume discussion with a patient in another language. I don’t speak any other languages besides English, but I could tell the patient was agitated and my coworker was trying to neutralize it.

I let her handle that and helped other patients before my shift officially started. Later, she revealed the reason. Apparently, the patient was having an ultrasound with our chief sonographer. The patient was coughing on the sonographer, so they asked the patient to cover their mouth. The patient got offended by that and left the room in the middle of the scan. The patient commented things such as, “She shouldn’t be in the industry if she can’t take sick patients.”

My coworker tells me that in their culture coughing is open. They aren’t told to cover their mouths.

All three– the patient, sonographer, and coworker — are the same nationality.

florida80
04-18-2021, 19:02
Anti-Vaxxers Holding Out Until The Last Drop
DALLAS, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, STUPID, TEXAS, USA | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 5, 2019
(I work in the billing department for an emergency clinic, and I get a call from an upset mother.)

Mother: “I will sue you all! How dare you treat my son with [medical shot]?! It’s against our religion to do this! I didn’t sign any form to give consent!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, let me look up his information.”

(I look up the information. The day we treated her son was the day he turned eighteen; he was old enough to have any medical treatments without parental consent.)

Me: “Ma’am, I have it here that your son was eighteen the day he was treated. There’s nothing else I can tell you or discuss with you unless he calls and tells us it’s okay for us to talk to you.”

Mother: “That’s f****** ridiculous! He was not officially eighteen!”

Me: “It says on his driver’s license that he was eighteen on the day he was seen.”

Mother: “NO! He was born at 4:00 pm! He was seen at 10:00 am! He wasn’t officially 100% eighteen!”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t go by the time of birth. We go by date of birth.”

florida80
04-18-2021, 19:03
This Relationship Has Teething Problems
BAD BEHAVIOR, FRANCE, HOSPITAL, STRANGERS | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 4, 2019
(I’m a dental student. During our fourth year, all of us have to do a week-long rotation at the ICU to provide “dental healthcare” to comatose patients — basically brushing their teeth with an iodine scrub and calling it a day. One of the patients is conscious but intubated, and he speaks using a whiteboard. After I finish brushing his teeth, a nurse comes into the room and makes small talk.)

Nurse: “So, I heard that [Woman] visited you yesterday, huh?”

(The patient nods.)

Nurse: “That’s nice! Also, your daughters called this morning; they want to come a bit later.”

Patient: *on the whiteboard* “Did they say what time?”

Nurse: “During the afternoon. They were afraid you’d get bored and alone, though, so I told them not to worry since [Woman] came by.”

(I see the patient’s eyes widen and he starts furiously scribbling on his whiteboard.)

Patient: “THEY DON’T KNOW ABOUT [WOMAN]!”

(I had to leave the room and didn’t stop laughing for a good five minutes.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 19:03
It Can Cause Anxiety To Diagnose Anxiety
AUSTRALIA, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE | HEALTHY | NOVEMBER 3, 2019
(In Australia, we have a universal healthcare program called Medicare which covers a significant portion of our medical bills. If you want to see a psychologist, Medicare will often cover 50-100% of the bill for ten sessions. However, you first have to go to a GP and get a referral to qualify. I have been struggling with my anxiety recently, so I went to the GP for a referral.)

GP: “How can I help you today?”

Me: “I’m looking to get a referral to a psychologist to help me with my anxiety.”

GP: “You’re a uni student, right?”

Me: “Yes. Working on my Masters.”

GP: “Do you really need a psychologist? I mean, it’s the end of the semester. All your classmates are stressed, just like you are. I’m sure how you’re feeling is no big deal.”

Me: “Right… and are all of my classmates having panic attacks in front of their student support officers because the support officer tried to start up a conversation about finding a job after graduation?”

GP: “Um… no.”

Me: “And is that something a mentally healthy person does?”

GP: “No. I’ll write you a referral.”

florida80
04-18-2021, 19:03
Your Treatment Of Hypermobility Is Making Me Hypertense
BIGOTRY, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, UK | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 31, 2019
(This story has taken about five years to come to a close. When I was seventeen, I started having awful fatigue problems, sleeping up to fourteen hours a day, and being constantly exhausted. I’ve always been fairly healthy, hiking for fun and rock climbing on a weekly basis, but after a while, I became so tired and my joints and muscles started hurting so much that I couldn’t exercise anymore. Because of this, I put on some weight. At nineteen, I go to the doctor because I’m in constant pain and believe I may have hypermobility.)

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “So, what’s the problem today?”

Me: *explains the last two years of problems, and how a friend showed me a list of hypermobility symptoms which seem to match up with what I’m experiencing*

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Okay, well, I’m actually the hypermobility specialist for this surgery so I’m going to take you through a series of tests.”

(He takes me through the tests, including touching the floor with my legs straight, bending my fingers and arms, etc.)

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Right, well, you definitely don’t have hypermobility; I don’t know how you got that idea in your head. You just need to lose some weight and you’ll be fine.”

Me: “How am I supposed to do that if I’m in pain all the time?”

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Oh, just take some painkillers, exercise more, and eat less junk food. You’ll be fine.”

(Miserable, but believing him, I spend the next three years in increasing pain, eventually unable to work, socialise, or do any of my old hobbies because I’m so exhausted all the time. I fall into a deep depression, believing that I’m making it up and that I’m just lazy. Finally, after counselling and heaps of support from my friends, I get an appointment at the closest rheumatology clinic.)

Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “All right, how can I help you today?”

Me: *twists my neck, making three to four loud pops on each side*

Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *blinks in surprise* “Oh… are they all like that?”

Me: “Yup. I can crack pretty much every joint in my body, including my elbows and my kneecaps.”

Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *after she takes me through all the same tests for hypermobility as the first doctor and a pressure point test to check for fibromyalgia* “Well, you’re definitely hypermobile in your upper body — anyone could see that — and the swelling around your knees is particularly concerning. I’m going to send you off for some tests and give you a prescription for an anti-inflammatory painkiller tablet. If it’s not enough, come back and I’ll give you some more. I can’t believe you’ve been dealing with this for five years!”

(Now, after a year and a half of unemployment, I have a job I love and am able to do with energy left over for twice-weekly climbing sessions and plenty of socialising. Thank you to the second doctor I saw, and to the first doctor? F*** you.

florida80
04-18-2021, 19:04
Give Thanks For Fewer Scams
CANADA, GEOGRAPHY, HOLIDAYS, JERK, LIARS/SCAMMERS | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 28, 2019
(On Canadian Thanksgiving Day, an hour before supper, I’m scrambling preparing food when the phone rings and, lo and behold, I’ve won a cruise! Frustrated at the timing, I let it go to the operator…)

Me: “Hi. It’s Thanksgiving evening suppertime and I don’t appreciate being called. Please take me off your list.”

Scammer: “It’s not Thanksgiving.”

Me: *dumbfounded that they don’t even know where they’re calling* “I’m in Canada, you knob. It’s Thanksgiving here. Take me off your list, please.”

Scammer: “No.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Scammer: “No. Not until you say sorry for calling me a knob.”

(Granted, I shouldn’t be calling people names, but considering the circumstances…)

Me: “Yeah, that’s not going to happen now. You may be in America, but in Canada it’s Thanksgiving and your scam is interrupting our supper.”

Scammer: “I’m not really American. One of my parents is Mexican and the other is American.”

Me: “How’s that relevant? Please take me off your list.”

Scammer: “Just America is better and we earn money way faster than you.”

Me: “I doubt that at a scam job, and I’ll stick with my free healthcare, thanks.”

Scammer: “We out-earn you, and this isn’t a scam.”

Me: “Really? I really won a free cruise?”

Scammer: *perks up* “Yes, you did, ma’am!”

Me: “No, I didn’t. Take me off your list and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!” *hangs up*

(I was thankful to get off the phone.)

florida80
04-18-2021, 19:04
Don’t Let The Anti-Vaxxers See This
COLORADO, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 28, 2019
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(I’ve recently found out that I’m pregnant and visited my primary care doctor to make some updates to my current medications. Please keep in mind that last week I had a sinus infection and lung spasms which resulted in me needing antibiotics and an inhaler.)

Primary Doctor: “So, you’re pregnant! While I know you don’t like the flu shot, it’s important that you get one. We can do that today. If a pregnant woman doesn’t get the flu shot, and gets the flu, she’ll end up in the hospital.”

Me: “It’s not that I don’t ‘like’ the flu shot. It’s that I’ve had very bad reactions to it before.” *something I’ve explained every visit and do so again*

Primary Doctor: “Well, it’s really important that you do it; otherwise, you’re putting not only yourself but the baby at risk. There’s no known risk with you getting the flu shot, and if you don’t, that’s dangerous.”

Me: “I’ll think about it, but since I’m recovering right now I’m not comfortable doing it today. I suppose I could do it at the end of next week?”

(Fast forward to the next day when I have an appointment with an OB/GYN, who is retiring but is giving me a referral.)

OB Doctor: “So, since you’re pregnant, we do recommend that you have the flu shot.”

Me: “Yes, my primary doctor said the same yesterday, but I’ve said I’d like to hold off for a week or so. I’d just rather not do it, but my primary said it’d be dangerous.”

OB Doctor: “Why don’t you want it?”

Me: “Years ago, I worked for a company that required us to have flu shots due to the medical nature. For two years in a row, after receiving the flu shot, I ended up in the ER within two weeks of receiving it with respiratory issues each time. I felt like I could not breathe and ended up on a lot of different medications, and never had anything like that before or after those two shots. After this happened the second time, the employer gave me a waiver. I haven’t had a flu shot since then and have only had the flu once in fifteen years.”

OB Doctor: “Wow! But your primary care doctor is saying you need it? Well, here’s the thing… we doctors act like we know everything based on the training we receive. We don’t. It is far too much of a coincidence for that to have happened to you two years in a row, but not since. I don’t want you to get the flu shot. If you do get the flu, there are options such as tamiflu, or yes, you may end up in the hospital, but that’s better than dead!”

Me: “Thank you so much for saying that; other doctors have told me I’m wrong and it’s so nice to have what I experienced validated. I’m not unreasonable.”

Doctor: *as he’s leaving the room* “Don’t get the flu shot! Do not let them kill you!”

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:12
Don’t Let The Anti-Vaxxers See This
COLORADO, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 28, 2019
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(I’ve recently found out that I’m pregnant and visited my primary care doctor to make some updates to my current medications. Please keep in mind that last week I had a sinus infection and lung spasms which resulted in me needing antibiotics and an inhaler.)

Primary Doctor: “So, you’re pregnant! While I know you don’t like the flu shot, it’s important that you get one. We can do that today. If a pregnant woman doesn’t get the flu shot, and gets the flu, she’ll end up in the hospital.”

Me: “It’s not that I don’t ‘like’ the flu shot. It’s that I’ve had very bad reactions to it before.” *something I’ve explained every visit and do so again*

Primary Doctor: “Well, it’s really important that you do it; otherwise, you’re putting not only yourself but the baby at risk. There’s no known risk with you getting the flu shot, and if you don’t, that’s dangerous.”

Me: “I’ll think about it, but since I’m recovering right now I’m not comfortable doing it today. I suppose I could do it at the end of next week?”

(Fast forward to the next day when I have an appointment with an OB/GYN, who is retiring but is giving me a referral.)

OB Doctor: “So, since you’re pregnant, we do recommend that you have the flu shot.”

Me: “Yes, my primary doctor said the same yesterday, but I’ve said I’d like to hold off for a week or so. I’d just rather not do it, but my primary said it’d be dangerous.”

OB Doctor: “Why don’t you want it?”

Me: “Years ago, I worked for a company that required us to have flu shots due to the medical nature. For two years in a row, after receiving the flu shot, I ended up in the ER within two weeks of receiving it with respiratory issues each time. I felt like I could not breathe and ended up on a lot of different medications, and never had anything like that before or after those two shots. After this happened the second time, the employer gave me a waiver. I haven’t had a flu shot since then and have only had the flu once in fifteen years.”

OB Doctor: “Wow! But your primary care doctor is saying you need it? Well, here’s the thing… we doctors act like we know everything based on the training we receive. We don’t. It is far too much of a coincidence for that to have happened to you two years in a row, but not since. I don’t want you to get the flu shot. If you do get the flu, there are options such as tamiflu, or yes, you may end up in the hospital, but that’s better than dead!”

Me: “Thank you so much for saying that; other doctors have told me I’m wrong and it’s so nice to have what I experienced validated. I’m not unreasonable.”

Doctor: *as he’s leaving the room* “Don’t get the flu shot! Do not let them kill you!”

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:13
She Will Not Neglect To Tell You
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 27, 2019
(I’m in the ER for what I later learn is a massive kidney stone. I’m on disability and Medicaid, which of course I tell the desk, so they can bill it appropriately. A doctor comes in later.)

Doctor: “We’re going to keep you overnight and give you [pain medication] to help.”

(He leaves without any more information. At this point, I’ve only received Tylenol, which is doing nowhere near enough for the level of pain I’m at. I’m moved to a different unit in the hospital, and for the next eight hours, I’m in a painful daze as I still didn’t get medication. Word gets to my mom, who, while having the voice and appearance of a fairy godmother, also knows when people aren’t doing their jobs. She comes to visit and speak with a nurse.)

Mom: “Has she been given any medication?”

Nurse: “No, until [Doctor] actually sends through the order we can’t give her anything but Tylenol.”

Mom: “What?! He saw her early this morning and he hasn’t done something this simple?!”

Nurse: “I know, ma’am. I’ve tried paging him and he keeps saying he’ll get to it.”

Mom: “Can you page him up here?”

(I can see the nurse get a HUGE grin.)

Nurse: “Absolutely, ma’am. Just one minute!”

(After even more painful waiting, the doctor finally comes in. He looks bored and annoyed at having to come personally to me.)

Mom: “Are you her doctor?”

Doctor: “Yes, ma’am.”

(As soon as he confirms, my mom TEARS into him. She yells about how I’ve been suffering, how she got a call from a nurse about me being here, how I didn’t know what was going on and wasn’t given anything because of his incompetence. The man looks utterly terrified.)

Mom: “Now, you are going to get her whatever medications she needs right now. I am going to make some phone calls that are going to make your life h*** because I sincerely doubt my daughter is the only one who’s been treated this way by you!”

(I was blissfully medicated within the hour. My mom did, in fact, make some calls. I was quickly assigned a new doctor, and later found out the first one was fired for patient neglect.)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:14
The Number One Problem For Check-Ups
AUSTRALIA, PETS & ANIMALS, VET, WESTERN AUSTRALIA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 25, 2019
(I have three ferrets, all due for a checkup. First ferret, fine but getting old. Second ferret, perfect health. When the vet picks up the third and starts feeling his little fuzzy abdomen, his face falls.)

Vet: “Hmm. Have you noticed that he’s got quite a large lump here? In his abdomen?”

Me: “No, I had no idea.”

Vet: “Okay. Hm. So, it seems very close to his prostate, maybe even on his prostate, so that’s quite worrying. It’s really large; are you sure you haven’t felt it before?”

Me: *starting to freak out a little bit* “No, definitely not.”

Vet: “Okay, well, I’m going to take him out the back and we’ll do a little ultrasound. Don’t panic; there’s a good chance it could be something benign, and if it isn’t, we have options, okay? I’ll be back in a minute.”

(I sit in the consulting room for ten minutes, wringing my hands, wondering if one of my pets has cancerous tumours and how I couldn’t have noticed. The vet comes back, still holding my ferret.)

Vet: *putting my ferret down on the examination table* “Okay, so, we did an ultrasound, and we’re at a little bit of a loss. It doesn’t look like anything I’ve seen, so we’re going to have to either biopsy or…”

(He trails off, as my ferret has toddled over to the sink and started urinating. It goes on for a very long time.)

Me: “Oh, geez, I’m sorry! He’s never done that before.”

Vet: “Well, better there than on the table, right?”

(He pauses, realisation dawning on him. He picks up my ferret once he’s finished his business, and feels the abdomen again.)

Vet: “So. Uh. This is a little awkward, but good news! He doesn’t have a tumour.”
(It turns out, my little boy was too polite to pee on a person or on the examination table, even while people were touching and scanning his large and very full bladder. They didn’t charge me for the ultrasound.)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:14
All Of The Above
PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 23, 2019
(One of my medications is delivered to my home through a specialty pharmacy. Every month they call to verify my information and see if anything has changed. At the end of our conversation, the Home Delivery Pharmacist — HDP — reverifies my medical history before finalizing the order.)

Home Delivery Pharmacist: “Okay… I see here this is from [Hospital Doctor]. Did you see him recently?”

Me: “Yes, while I was in-patient at [Hospital] last month.”

Home Delivery Pharmacist: “Okay. Have you been to the ER, had an infection, or been hospitalized in the last 90 days?”

Me: “Yes, all three.”

Home Delivery Pharmacist: “Which one?”

Me: “All of them.”

Home Delivery Pharmacist: “No. ER, infection, or hospital. Which one?”

Me: “Um… all of the above. All three.”

Home Delivery Pharmacist: *annoyed* “No, ma’am. Were you in the ER, did you have an infection, or were you hospitalized in the last 90 days?”

Me: “Yes! I went to the ER because I couldn’t breathe. I found out I had a lung infection and I was hospitalized for 21 days.”

Home Delivery Pharmacist: “Oh.” *sour tone* “You could have just said yes. We’ll ship this tomorrow.” *hangs up*

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:15
Those Prices Are Not Healthy
GOVERNMENT, HOSPITAL, JAPAN, MONEY, NON-DIALOGUE | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 21, 2019
I’m an American living and working in Japan. One day, I get severely ill, so I call an ambulance and am taken to the hospital. It turns out to be an easily treated condition, but they keep me in for observation overnight.

During checkout the next day, they keep warning me and apologizing that payment will be expensive, even with my insurance. “I’m so sorry but it will be pricey,” is something I hear from several people.

At that point, I’m a little worried about the cost, but checkout is almost done and they present me with the bill — about ¥30,000, a little under $300 US.

I surprise them when I start laughing, then horrify them when I say that an ambulance ride, hospital stay, and followup medication in the US would easily add up to at least ten times that price!

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:15
Circumcise What I Just Said From Your Minds
AUSTRALIA, HOSPITAL, NURSES | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 20, 2019
(I have just given birth to my son and am with the nurse who is head of the maternity section. It just happens that we went to school together.)

Nurse: “So, we just have to get some things out of the way. First, do you want him circumcised?”

Me: “No, definitely not.”

Nurse: “Thank goodness. Do you know how horrible it is? They do it without anaesthesia and basically just cut the foreskin off with scissors. The poor babies go through so much pain, it makes me sick every time a parent wants it done, and I’m not allowed to try to talk anyone out of it or… um… say what I just said.”

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:15
Not What They Mean By Getting Plenty Of Bed Rest
ASSISTED LIVING, GOLDEN YEARS, MICHIGAN, RUDE & RISQUE, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 19, 2019
(A group of residents with varying stages of dementia is sitting around a table having coffee near my desk in the front lobby. One of them asks a question of the others…)

Resident #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “What happened to my hand?”

(She has a bruise over her wrist and the back of her hand.)

Resident #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “You fell out of your bed, remember? You landed on it.”

Resident #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Oh! I must have been having a good time in bed!”

(Both women cracked up laughing while the two men with them looked shocked. I managed to hold it together so they didn’t know I was listening in.)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:16
Don’t Grit Your Teeth To This
ASSISTED LIVING, GOLDEN YEARS, SWEDEN | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 18, 2019
(I am helping an old lady getting ready for bed one evening at the nursing home. A part of that includes assisting her with brushing her teeth. Some old people have dentures, and I can’t remember whether this lady has or not.)

Me: “Do you have your own teeth?”

Resident: “Yes, I do.”

Me: “Okay, then, here’s your toothbrush.”

(The lady then pops out her dentures.)

Me: “I thought you had your own teeth?”

Resident: “I do. I bought and paid for them myself.”

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:16
Smoking? There’s An App For That
BAD BEHAVIOR, HOSPITAL, KANSAS, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 17, 2019
(I am in the hospital after falling down a flight of stairs. My ankle is fractured.)

Me: “Excuse me. Can you please hand me my phone?”

Nurse: “No.”

Me: “What? Why not?”

Nurse: *huffy* “Well, it says on your chart that you’re a smoker. I’m not going to give you your phone so you can buy more cigarettes.”

Me: “I wasn’t planning on buying anything; I wanted to update my family and friends.”

Nurse: “I don’t believe you. I know your kind. You think you’re special because you destroy your body with drugs. I’m not letting you buy drugs!”

Me: “All right, let’s see what a patient advocate thinks about what you just said.”

Nurse: *goes pale and hands me my phone*

(Later, when I told my dad about it, he told the doctor, who rolled his eyes and said we weren’t the first to complain.)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:17
Choked By Your Own Doctor
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, IOWA, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 16, 2019
(I’ve had serious sinus/throat/ear problems for most of my life, along with pretty severe anxiety disorder; it’s so bad I was put on anti-anxiety meds at eight years old. Unfortunately, since I have an anxiety disorder, most of my problems have been brushed off as panic until they’re either too late to fix properly or until I fight with the doctors. I miss a pretty good bit of school because my ears hurt or I feel like I am choking, and I will go to the doctor each time. Each time, the pediatrician tells me, “It’s just a viral infection,” or, “It’s just your anxiety acting up.”)

Me: “I really don’t think this is viral; I’ve been coming in every month or so for two years or so.”

Doctor: “It’s just viral. I think you just like getting out of school, too.” *nudge nudge wink wink*

Me: “Uh, no. My grades are taking a hit. I can barely breathe and I feel like I’m choking constantly. This is not a panic thing, and it’s obviously not viral; otherwise, it wouldn’t always come back. Maybe you should do your job and actually figure out what’s wrong?”

Mom: *staring in shock because I’m not one to smart off*

Doctor: “If you can smart off like that, then you don’t need to see a pediatrician any more!”

(My mom schedules an appointment at a different doctor’s office, with a different doctor. I’m freaking out because I’ve never seen another doctor before in my fifteen years and many, MANY doctors appointments.)

New Doctor: *looks in my mouth* “Oh, my God! Your tonsils are huge. Like, can you breathe at all?”

Me: “No, not really. I always feel like I’m choking.”

New Doctor: “These have to come out.”

(So, I got my tonsils out, along with my adenoids. The surgeon told me they were the biggest he’d ever seen. I no longer feel like I’m being choked to death constantly. But having your tonsils pulled out at sixteen sucks.)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:17
With So Many Fillings He Has Become Very Dense
DENTIST, JERK, MICHIGAN, PATIENTS, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 15, 2019
Patient: “Why do I need an x-ray?”

Me: “To check for problems [Doctor] might have missed.”

Patient: “Problems like what?”

Me: “Cavities between your teeth and under your fillings, and gum disease.”

Patient: “If [Doctor]’s eyesight is so bad that he can’t even see cavities anymore, why is he still a dentist?”

Me: “There is nothing wrong with [Doctor]’s eyesight, sir. It would be impossible for anyone to look underneath fillings and in between your teeth.”

Patient: “So, I just let him poke around my mouth for nothing? Why didn’t you tell me that right away? I would have skipped the exam and just done the x-ray. Now I need to pay for something that is completely useless. You are ripping me off. I’ll get a second opinion.”

Me: “You are welcome to do that. But they’ll want to do an exam, as well.”

Patient: “I’ll tell them that you already did.”

Me: “They’ll still want to actually look at your teeth. Believe me.”

Patient: “So, you are trying to tell me that they’ll rip me off, too?”

Me: “Sir, an x-ray is more expensive than an exam.”

Patient: “Oh, if you do the x-ray, can I take that to my second opinion dentist?”

Me: “Yes.”

Patient: “So, I’m right. The exam is useless.”

Me: “Do you want an x-ray or not now?”

Patient: “Do I get a refund if you don’t find anything?”

Me: “No, you can’t get a refund.”

Patient: “You people are so greedy.”

Me: *speechless*

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:17
A Cyst-emic Problem In Healthcare
BAD BEHAVIOR, BIGOTRY, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, MEDICAL OFFICE, MINNESOTA, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 14, 2019
(I get fed up with my old doctor refusing to do anything other than tell me to “just lose some weight” and I go to a new clinic.)

Doctor: “I see you changed practices. Do you have any medical files with you or are they sending them over?”

Me: “They might send them over, but they’re going to be next to empty and claim I’m only overweight. My last doctor didn’t pay any attention to any of the symptoms I would tell him about. If it doesn’t happen in front of him he thinks it doesn’t happen ever, and all he would ever tell me is that I need to lose weight. I know I need to, but I’ve honestly been dieting and exercising and nothing has happened. I’ve had hormone problems my entire life, but he just kept telling me to eat better.”

Doctor: “That sounds… bad. Okay, tell me what’s going on with your hormones, and I’ll have a nurse come in and draw your blood for labs. You also seem to have a small lump on your neck.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m prone to cysts. I was going to get it looked at if it didn’t go away. Getting them drained isn’t pleasant, so I wait and see if they take care of themselves before I go in.”

Doctor: “I’ll take a look at it, anyway. You’re already here, might as well.”

(I leave the appointment satisfied that the doctor didn’t mention my weight at all except to ask if I’ve noticed any fluctuation with it. A week later, the doctor calls me back in.)

Doctor: “I ran your labs and, like I thought, you also high levels of testosterone. You have something called–“

Me: “Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome or PCOS?”

Doctor: “Exactly.”

Me: “I asked my old doctor about that years ago since I’m prone to getting cysts on my ovaries, but he never tested me for it.”

Doctor: “Well, I did, and you definitely have it. You also seem to have some thyroid problems, and I’d like for you to get a biopsy of the lump on your neck.”

Me: “Really?”

Doctor: “Yes, since I saw you last week, it’s gotten bigger, and I don’t think it’s a cyst.”

(It wasn’t. It was a cancerous tumor on my thyroid. When the surgeon opened me up to remove it, cancer had already spread to the surrounding lymph nodes, which then also had to be removed. After some radiation and chemo, I’m in remission, but if I had stayed with the old fat-shaming doctor, I’d be dead. Thankfully, that doctor retired and no longer “treats” patients.)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:18
Eye Have No Idea What You’re Saying
OPTOMETRIST/OPTICIAN, PATIENTS, RECEPTION, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 12, 2019
(I work as a receptionist and an assistant for an optometrist. I am discussing the exam costs with a patient who has no insurance.)

Patient: “What?! Why does an exam cost that much just to get a prescription?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, my doctor also checks the health of your eyes, not just giving a prescription.”

Patient: “That’s just stupid. Eyes are always healthy unless you need to see better!”

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:18
The Nutty Doctor
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, SWEDEN | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 11, 2019
(A couple of years ago, I started having really low blood sugar levels. It turned out that I needed surgery but I could not get it right away. To try to help me during the wait, my endocrinologist referred me to a dietician so see if there were some diet changes I could do to reduce the risk of going so low I passed out. I am very allergic to nuts. I go to the dietician and she looks at my list of food that I have eaten for the last three days and asks if I have any allergies, which I tell her about.)

Doctor: “You need to eat a snack in the afternoon that keeps the blood sugar levels up better. A handful of nuts is good.”

Me: “I am allergic to nuts.”

Doctor: “So, as I was saying. You need to eat at least 60g for it to be good for you.”

Me: “Still can’t eat nuts. Allergy…”

Doctor: “But nuts are good for you.”

Me: “They might be good for other people, but I am allergic to nuts. Is there really nothing to replace them with?”

Doctor: “Nuts are good for everybody. They help stabilize the blood sugar.”

Me: “One more time, I am allergic to nuts. I will die if I eat them. I can’t have nuts.”

Doctor: “I don’t know why you came here if you don’t allow me to help you.”

Me: “I want help. I just can’t eat nuts. Are there any other foods that I can have as a snack?”

Doctor: “I recommend at least 60 grams of nuts as a snack.”

Me: “Thanks for your time. I’ll see myself out.”

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:19
Getting Very Anal About The Probing Questions
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NEBRASKA, NON-DIALOGUE, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 10, 2019
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

In 2013, at the age of 25, I begin to have tonic-clonic seizures. Prior to this, I have never experienced any kind of seizure. As the doctors are trying to understand what’s going on with me, they recommend an MRI to see if there are any physical indications in my brain as to what’s going on. Before the referral is made, the doctor asks if I have any metal in my body and I tell them no, and they note it in my chart. They tell me not to wear any jewelry when I go to have the MRI.

I go to the MRI clinic and throughout the paperwork process, I am asked several times if I have any metal in my body. I write “no” on all the paperwork and confirm this verbally with the intake person. I then speak with the nurse who takes me back to where the MRI is, and she asks me a couple of times if I have metal in me, as well. I tell her no and that I didn’t wear any jewelry. She writes that down and leaves me to change into clothing with nothing metal in it and to hang out in the room until the tech can come in and prep the machine.

After about five minutes, the tech comes in and begins prepping everything. “Before you lay down, I need to ask if you have any metal in or on your body.”

I am profoundly tired, in a lot of pain from the seizures, and scared I have a brain tumor, and so my coping mechanism kicks in. “Oh, no, just the implant the alien put in me when I was taken up on the mothership,” I say, as brightly as possible.

She looks at me quizzically and I repeat myself, smiling to let her know I’m kidding. She’s silent for a beat and then just sighs and tells me to get on the table. No chill at all.

I understand why they have to ask about metal due to the intense magnetism, but jeez, look at the charts, people! I don’t think I need to answer this question twelve times in the span of 48 hours.

Also, I don’t have a tumor, and my implant didn’t show up in the scan!

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:19
Piddle Me This
BAD BEHAVIOR, CONNECTICUT, PETS & ANIMALS, REVOLTING, USA, VET | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 9, 2019
(I work at a very busy veterinary hospital, and due to the volume of clients and the fact that we are near a highway, we have a “dogs on leashes, cats in carriers” rule to keep everyone safe. People often carry in small dogs, though, and today a woman sets her puppy down and lets it run around the lobby.)

Coworker: “Hi! I’m sorry, but could you please pick your puppy up? She’s very cute, but sometimes we get dogs in that don’t like other dogs.”

Woman: *scoffs* “I don’t let her run around. She had to pee, and it was either on me or on your floor.”

(Outside in the big grassy areas dividing the parking lot was, apparently, not an option. We get animals that piddle on the floor for a variety of reasons throughout the day, but I don’t think it’s ever been quite THIS intentional.)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:20
Ovaries: The Biggest Threat To A Medical Degree
AUSTRALIA, BIGOTRY, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 8, 2019
(I am in a waiting room at the medical centre. A female doctor calls a man’s name.)

Male Patient: *to receptionist* “Hey, that’s a woman doctor!”

Receptionist: “Yes, and it’s her first day, so we’re letting her practice on you.”

Male Patient: “Hmph. I didn’t come here for no woman doctor.” *leaves*

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:20
Bloodshot
HOSPITAL, NORTH CAROLINA, NURSES, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 7, 2019
(I’m pregnant with my daughter and at the hospital to have labor induced. The nurse is going over final checks and running down how the birthing is going to — ideally — go.)

Nurse: “We may need to give you a blood transfusion if you bleed too much. Let me explain the benefits–”

Me: “Approved. B+.”

Nurse: “Um… Okay… Sign this form.”

(We go through some other routine stuff and get to treating the baby after she’s born.)

Nurse: “It’s standard to give a Hep B and Vitamin K shot to the baby. You don’t have to, of course, but the benefits are…”

Me: “Do it. All the shots.”

Nurse: “Oh, thank God!”

(She caught herself and apologized for her breach of bedside manner. We have a few religious sects in the area that are anti-transfusion and anti-vax, so I can imagine the pushback she got day-to-day. I laughed and explained that we are a “science” family and the awkwardness melted away. The rest of the checks and forms were done relatively quickly now that the nurse knew she didn’t have to sell me on everything. The birth went mostly smoothly and my daughter is now a healthy fifteen-month-old.)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:21
Happens All The Bloody Time
BLOOD DONATION, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HEALTH & BODY, USA, WASHINGTON | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 5, 2019
(I donate blood about every two months, provided that I’m healthy enough to do so. One thing the blood bank screens for is anemia: my hematocrit has to be 38 or higher to donate and not become anemic from it. Hematocrit in the low 30s is anemic; around mid-20s you’d probably need a transfusion yourself. But some time in the last eight weeks, the blood bank switched to testing hemoglobin instead, the minimum donation number for which is 12.5. I didn’t know it was a new test.)

Phlebotomist: “Okay, your temperature, blood pressure, and pulse look good. Let’s test your iron.” *pricks my finger, takes a few drops of blood, and puts them in the tester* “You’re testing at 12.6.”

Me: “My hematocrit is 12.6? Should I go to the hospital?”

Phlebotomist: “What? Why? Oh! No, your hemoglobin is 12.6, which for our purposes is equivalent to a 39 hematocrit. You’re fine to donate. If you had a 12.6 hematocrit, you’d be unconscious at least. I’d be calling an ambulance… or a hearse.”

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:21
They’ll Be Tongue-Wagging About This For A While
DENTIST, PATIENTS, SILLY, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 3, 2019
(It’s my first visit to the dentist in over ten years, and I tell the doctor that. What she doesn’t know is that I’m very nervous. The last time I was at a dentist, I was 15 and the doctor didn’t put in any anesthesia and drilled into my tooth. It was excruciating and I was crying a lot, and he didn’t seem to care. In fact, he seemed used to crying in his office. Anyway, I decide to bite the bullet and go for a checkup with a woman doctor, hoping she’ll be more sensitive. She finds three cavities, much to my dismay. She actually uses novocaine, and my gum is all properly numbed. However, I suffer from anxiety, so when she’s drilling my tooth, I can’t help but picture her slipping and drilling into my TONGUE, instead. This gives my tongue a mind of its own. It starts trying to escape, wiggling all about, trying to pull itself free and out! I can feel it moving, but the harder I try to stop it — since I don’t want to weird her out — the more it tries. Finally, she stops.)

Doctor: “You don’t have to wiggle your tongue around that much you know. Just try to keep it still.”

Me: “Sorry. I’ll try.”

(And I did, but I could still feel it moving. Finally, she was done and I zipped out of there to pay. I could tell she was relieved, too, and probably told her husband about my crazy tongue!)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:22
A Sick Fantasy
AUSTRALIA, CHILDREN, COWORKERS, DAYCARE, NEW SOUTH WALES, REVOLTING | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 1, 2019
(I work in a childcare centre. Every ten minutes we have to check on the sleeping children in the nursery to make sure they are still alive and breathing. A coworker who is quiet, sweet, and very unsure of herself does the check and comes out of one of the cot rooms to say:)

Coworker: “[Child] has thrown up a little.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Do you want to clean it up, or do the washing up I was about to do and let me clean it up?”

Coworker: “Ah, I’d like to do the washing up if you don’t mind.”

Me: “Sure thing.”

(I go grab what I will need –gloves, washcloths, bag for clothes, etc. — and walk into the room. The child has projectile vomited in her sleep; it is EVERYWHERE and the child is still asleep. The sheets need to be thrown out, the cot has to be disinfected, and the child needs a bath — it is in her hair and in her socks. I walk up to that coworker later.)

Me: “Um, [Coworker]…”

Coworker: “Yes?”

Me: “You led me down a bit of a fantasy there by saying it was a little bit of vomit.”

(She and the other coworkers in the staff room lost it with laughter.)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:22
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 13
AWESOME, HOSPITAL, INSPIRATIONAL, ISRAEL, NON-DIALOGUE, NURSES | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 29, 2019
My mother has Alzheimer’s and lives in a care facility. Not long ago, she was taken ill and they sent her to the local emergency room for some tests as a safety precaution because she can’t communicate and so it was unclear exactly what was wrong with her.

Mum’s husband and a carer went with her from the home and I joined them in the hospital. Understandably, my poor mother, who had no idea what was going on — even though we tried our best to explain — was confused, upset, and maybe even a little frightened.

The nurse taking care of Mum wasn’t unkind as such, but she was brisk and abrupt, and she made little to no effort to try and reassure Mum or interact with her. Again, understandably, Mum became ever more flustered and upset despite our best efforts to keep her calm and reassure her ourselves.

Then, the shift changed, and a new nurse was assigned to take care of Mum. She interacted with Mum; she spoke to her, touched her, calmed her, and reassured her far more than Mum’s husband, the carer, or I had managed to achieve. She even had Mum cooperating.

When Mum was finally released, I went and thanked that nurse for helping a frightened and confused woman feel calm and safe. The nurse was totally shocked that I thanked her. Later, my sister, who’s also a nurse, told me that while people are quick to complain, they rarely say thank you. Nurses do a very hard job, working with people who are ill, frightened, confused, and many other things besides. They’re not perfect, but on the whole, most of them do an amazing job. Please don’t forget to say thank you.

Related:

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:22
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 12
MEDICAL OFFICE, UK | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 23, 2017
(This was a few years ago. I have made an appointment with a new GP to give me a contraceptive implant since I keep forgetting to take my pills and I want to be safe. This is my first time at this particular office.)

Doctor: “So I’m just going to numb the area first and then we’ll get the implant in there.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I roll up my sleeve and turn my head away.)

Doctor: “Are you all right?”

Me: “Oh, yeah, I just don’t like watching the needle go in. So I’m gonna look at that wall there.”

Doctor: “All right, then.”

(She then stuck the needle in and lifted the skin of my arm up with the needle as she removed it. When she apologized she attempted to do it again. Both times were quite painful but thankfully the needle didn’t break and the rest of the appointment went fine.)

Doctor: “Again, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened there. Maybe if you didn’t have such tiny arms!”

(Three years later I went to get my implant replaced. This time I got a nurse to do it. She did it completely pain-free on the first try. I guess my tiny arms weren’t a problem for the nurse.)

Related:

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:23
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 11
HEALTH & BODY, HOME, NURSES, RELIGION | RIGHT | NOVEMBER 14, 2016
(I am an RN that goes around to people’s homes. I get an order to obtain a blood draw from a particularly religious patient who refuses to let me try anywhere except the tiny blood vessels in her hand. As I’m on my second attempt, apparently she thinks I need a little help…)

Patient: *loudly, with eyes closed* “Lord Jesus, help her find that blood! Send the blood to her Jesus; she needs your help! Draw her to that vein, oh Lord, and show your power!”

Me: *as I finally hit a vein* “Got it!”

Patient: “Thank you!”

Me: “You’re welcome!”

Patient: “Not you.”

Me: “A little bit me…”

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:23
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 10
EDITORS' CHOICE, HEALTH & BODY, INSPIRATIONAL, KIND STRANGERS | HOPELESS | JUNE 13, 2016
(It’s my first day commuting to work off campus during summer term and I have a bike to get there. I’m feeling pretty good until three miles in, when it gets harder to keep going. All of a sudden, a van pulls over.)

Stranger: “Get in.”

Me: “I’m going to work and I really don’t—”

Stranger: “I’m a registered nurse and you’re showing signs of heat exhaustion. Get in now.”

(After stammering a bit, I let the RN put my bike in back and get me a water bottle.)

Me: “Thanks! I’m an out-of-state student so I’m not used to this heat.”

Stranger: “I get it. Do you need a ride home?”

(She showed up after my work and drove me home. I never saw her again, but I loved her.)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:24
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 9
AWESOME, EDITORS' CHOICE, HEALTH & BODY, INSPIRATIONAL, KIND STRANGERS | HEALTHY | MAY 17, 2016
(My family is visiting my grandma, and we like renting bicycles to ride around the gated community where she lives. My mom and two younger siblings are just on our way back to the house. It’s a very hot day and I’m wearing a dark shirt.)

Me: “Hold up a minute. I feel woozy.”

(I pull onto the grass and sit down, panting, as my vision swirls with purple-green clouds. Usually they clear in a few moments, but they’re not going away. I can’t get back on the bike until I can see, so Mom is about to send my brother on ahead to bring Dad back with the car, when a car pulls up next to us.)

Little Old Lady: “Do you need help?”

(I’m a little fuzzy on the details after that point, but it turned out that she was a retired nurse! She offered to drive me back to Grandma’s house. I was doing a little better in the air-conditioned car, but I was still woozy and she talked to me to keep me awake. When we got to the house, I had to lean on her shoulder to get inside; my dad told me later that he thought I was helping her at first! She helped me into a reclining chair and got a cool, damp washcloth to put on my forehead before she left, with instructions to drink lots of water and not move for a while. She left before I could thank her, but I sent a thank-you note when I was better. Even after they retire, nurses are awesome people!)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:24
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 8
AWESOME, FLORIDA, HEALTH & BODY, MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, USA | WORKING | MARCH 4, 2016
(During first full week of Advanced Placement and IB tests of my junior year in high school I find myself struck with a particularly nasty illness called norovirus, which causes nearly non-stop vomiting and diarrhea. I am home alone, as my father is out the whole week for business, and I am taking the bus to and from school for exams. Since I knew I cannot miss any of these tests on such short notice, I manage to tough it out for four days, but at that point I have not been able to eat or drink anything that remains in my stomach for more than five minutes. Severely dehydrated and weak, I finally decide to go to a close-by clinic for IV fluids after school. Since they need a doctor on-site to legally be able to give fluids, I call ahead.)

Nurse: “Hello, [Clinic]. This is [Nurse]. How may I help you?”

Me: *very quietly as my throat has started to develop acid sores* “Hi… Do you have the… Do you do IV fluids?”

Nurse: “What’s that, sweetie? I didn’t quite catch that.”

Me: “I need IV fluids… I really need them.”

Nurse: “Unfortunately we don’t have a doctor with us right now, hun.” *I start crying, since at this point I’m worried I will not be able to get out of bed tomorrow for my next exam* “Sweetie, what’s the matter? Are you hurt?”

Me: “No… I think I got norovirus from that restaurant that was shut down last week and I’m home alone and I have my AP tests that I can’t miss and I haven’t been able to eat or drink anything for days and I’m getting too weak to do anything! I can’t go to the ER because my dad didn’t leave me enough money to cover anything and I really need to go to my exam tomorrow!”

Nurse: “All right, sweetie, give me one second.” *the line is silent for about five minutes* “Okay, hun, here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to go out to you and pick you up, then we’re going to go to the [Clinic] downtown and get you your fluids. After that I’ll take you home and you give me your exam schedule. Is tomorrow your last day for exams until next week?”

Me: *shocked at her kindness* “Yes, ma’am.”

Nurse: “All righty. Then I’ll take you to your exam tomorrow morning and then we do need to check you into the hospital, all right, sweetie? Give me your address and I’ll be there in a few minutes. Call your dad and tell him what is going on, okay?”

(This nurse had negotiated with her supervisor to get the next two days off work so she could make sure I was taken care of and safe. After my exam the next day she picked me up and took me to the hospital, used a few personal favors to get me in quickly and hold off on payment, and stayed with me until my father could get there. We have since become good friends, and I am currently working on my own MD while volunteering at her clinic. This woman is why nurses really should rule the world!)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:24
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 7
HOSPITAL | WORKING | OCTOBER 30, 2015
(I am pregnant and suffering from toxaemia, which is a form of blood poisoning. My blood pressure is extremely high and I have been admitted to hospital. I have been there for two weeks when my blood pressure goes even higher.)

Matron: “You have been scheduled for an emergency induction tomorrow morning; we can’t leave you like this for any longer.”

(Very early the next morning, she comes in and starts the preparation for the induction when a doctor comes in.)

Doctor: “[Matron], I need you to stop what you are doing. I need to speak to the patient. Please leave us alone.”

Matron: “Yes, doctor.” *leaves*

Doctor: *to me* “We are postponing your induction.”

Me: “But I’ve been told I have to have it.”

Doctor: “We’ve decided not to do it right now. It doesn’t really matter, seeing as this is elective.” *meaning I chose to have it done*

(He says nothing to reassure me and leaves. Later one of the nurses comes by.)

Nurse: “[My Name], what are you still doing here? I was sure you would have had your baby by now.”

Me: “Dr [Doctor] told me that it wasn’t being done, and told me it was elective.”

Nurse: “He said what? Did you elect to get pre-eclampsia? I’ll go and see what’s going on.”

(A few minutes later she is back.)

Nurse: “I found out why they postponed you. We only have four birthing rooms and there are a dozen screaming women down there waiting to get into them. You were considered stable enough to wait one more day”.

Me: “I would have understood if he said that.”

Nurse: “Yeah, doctors don’t think.”

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:25
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 6
AWESOME, HEALTH & BODY, MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES | WORKING | DECEMBER 9, 2013
(I’ve been sick this past week and I go to the clinic at nine am. They tell me they will call in the prescription at ten am. At two pm, I go to check the prescription.)

Pharmacist: “I have no prescription here under your name.”

Me: “The clinic said it would be ready by ten am. Let me call them.”

(I call the clinic.)

Me: “Hello. I have a prescription that hasn’t been put through yet. I need to make sure I am at the right pharmacy.”

(I am promptly transferred without a word to the women’s clinic line, which is the incorrect department. I am instructed to leave a message, as the nurses are out to lunch.)

Me: “Um, hi. I am [My Name]. I was just wondering where my prescription was sent. It’s not at the pharmacy and—” *I cough and my head immediately begins to ache terribly. I sniffle and tear up* “—if you could please help me that’d be nice.”

(I hang up and go home. At three pm I go to the clinic to verify the location of the pharmacy. They tell me the order has been sent, and to wait a couple hours. I go home yet again. At five pm I get a call from the women’s clinic number at which I left the message.)

Nurse: “Hello, is this [My Name]? You left a message a couple hours ago.”

Me: “Yes. I’m sorry, I was trying to find out where my prescription was. I already checked back with the clinic and they told me where the prescription would be.”

Nurse: “Everything’s all right, though? This is the wrong department for your call, but since you’ve had the prescription filled…”

Me: “Well… no… I called the pharmacy and the prescription still hasn’t been ordered yet.”

Nurse: “Oh. Let me get on that. I’ll make sure they get it filled out.”

Me: “Okay.”

Nurse: “I will call you back in a minute, sweetie.”

(The nurse hangs up and calls back a few minutes later.)

Nurse: “Okay, I’ve gotten them to fill out your prescription and the pharmacy should have it soon. You are taking [Medicine], which is two pills twice a day. No matter how bad it is, take all of them. You can take decongestants and ibuprofen to deal with the congestion and pain. And, honey, popsicles are your best friends. Drink lots of fluids and warm tea, and get plenty of rest.”

(At this point, the nurse’s concern has caused me to tear up.)

Me: “Thank you so much! I’ve been dealing with this for a week.”

Nurse: “You just sound so sick, sweetie. I called the pharmacy and told them to work extra quick on your order. The pharmacist’s name is [Name]. She’ll have your prescription ready as soon as she can.”

Me: “Thank you.”

Nurse: “You feel better, honey.”

(To that nurse: You had me sobbing. You cared so much and it wasn’t even your department. You helped me and told me more about my medicine than the doctor in the CORRECT department did. I’m so grateful there are people as nice as you working in the women’s clinic!)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:25
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 5
BULLIES, HOSPITAL, NURSES, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, WILD & UNRULY | RIGHT | AUGUST 13, 2013
(I’m 18, and have been hospitalized for a severe case of mono. As a result of the illness, my throat is badly swollen and I can hardly speak. I’m on lots of painkillers. I’m sharing a room with a boy who swallowed a rock. The boy has been screaming since his mother left and his father can’t quiet him down.)

Nurse: “Okay, [My Name], I’m just going to check your vitals.”

Me: *whispering* “How much longer until I can have more pain medication?”

Nurse: “Not for a while, sweetie.”

(The nurse leaves. The boy’s father has been watching us the whole time.)

Boy’s Father: “Listen, you little b****! Don’t you f****** gossip about me to the f****** nurses! You keep your f****** mouth shut, or I’ll shut it for you!”

(I’m stunned, as I haven’t said a word to or about him. As I can’t move and can barely speak, I’m in tears and terrified. Not long after, my mom comes in to visit.)

Mom: “Hey, [My Name]. How are you doing?”

Me: *crying and whispering* “Mom, the dad of that boy screamed at me. He said to shut up, or he’d shut me up.”

(My mom is silent, but clearly fuming. She leaves for a moment.)

Boy’s Father: “WHAT DID I SAY?!”

(Just then, my mom comes back with security in tow.)

Mom: “Escort him from hospital grounds NOW.”

Boy’s Father: “B****! You can’t tell me what to do! You aren’t the boss here! I’m twenty-f******-five!”

Mom: “Actually, I AM the boss here! It’s my day off, but I’m head nurse on this floor, and if you EVER speak to my daughter ever again, I will have you arrested so fast that you won’t ever hear the sirens! And by the way, I’m forty-freaking-eight and I have the good sense not to let my kids eat rocks!”

(The man was removed from hospital grounds and was banned from re-entering for 48 hours unless it was an emergency. I have the best mom in the world.)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:26
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 4
RESTAURANT | RIGHT | JUNE 14, 2013
(My mother takes my younger brother and me out to a restaurant for dinner. As we are eating we witness a car crash in the road. My mother, being an LPN (licensed practical nurse), leaves her meal to rush across the street to offer help. We are seated by an elderly couple right next to a window.)

Elderly Man: “Did your mom just go out there to help them?”

Me: “Oh, well, she’s a nurse. Pretty much anytime an accident occurs and she’s there, she tries to help.”

Restaurant Proprietor: “That’s your mother out there?”

Little Brother: “Yeah. Our mom’s a nurse, so she went to help out.”

Restaurant Proprietor: “Wow! How cool!”

(My mother spends the next 30 minutes out in the middle of traffic, helping both drivers with their injuries, and waiting until EMTs arrive. She comes back in, and we resume our meal like nothing has happened.)

Elderly Woman: “Are they okay?”

Mom: “Yeah, but the poor girl — her parents are out of town. She has to wait in the hospital for them to come and see her. She pulled out, and that guy pulled out in front of her and rammed her car.”

Elderly Woman: “Well, at least they’re okay.”

(Another 20 minutes pass while my mother finishes her meal and the check is brought out to us. As the proprietor from earlier leaves the check, the couple next to us get up to leave.)

Elderly Man: “Let me tell you something…”

(He quickly snatches the check off of our table.)

Elderly Man: “If I were in an accident like that and needed help, I would want you to come and help me. Anyone who selflessly dodges traffic to help someone like that deserves to have their meal paid for. I hope that if one day I’m in an accident I have you there for me.”

(Despite my mother’s protests, the man pays the bill without even glancing at the total. When we go to the front to explain ourselves, the cashier isn’t surprised.)

Cashier: “Oh, that’s Bill. He’s a regular here. I’m not surprised he did that. He’s a real sweetheart. He was actually on his first date with that girl!”

(If you ever read this, Bill, you moved my mom to tears that day. You have forever made me want to be a better person! It’s people like you that re-instill my hope in humanity.)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:26
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 3
FAST FOOD, JERK | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 26, 2013
(I arrive at work an hour and a half early because I forgot what time I start. I decide to sit in the lobby and have lunch before my shift. I notice that the trash can is in dire need of being emptied and that the front counter is busier than usual. I start to tie the bag up, when a customer screeches at me.)

Customer: “What do you think you’re doing?”

Me: “Just changing the garbage, ma’am. It was full to overflowing and it was too busy for someone to leave their post and do it.”

Customer: “You don’t have to do that, young man! You’re not one of these dropouts that lives in their parent’s basements who can’t do anything better with their lives! What are you taking?”

Me: “I’m planning on becoming a licensed practical nurse. But, ma’am, I don’t just go to school. I work to pay my bills. As a matter of fact, I live in a condo my mother owns. She does not live with me, and I pay rent to her. I pay for my electricity, my Internet, and my heating. How do I earn the money for this, you ask?”

(At this point I remove my hat from my bag, put it on and remove my coat, revealing that I am dressed in my work uniform.)

Me: “I work here, taking whatever hours I can get. A student without anything on their resume will take any job they can. ”

(I point to one of my coworkers who is mopping the floors at the back of the store.)

Me: “She’s a neuroscience student. Just like me she has bills to pay. In the future, please remember that people who work in fast food are not always drop outs, but more often than not students trying to fund their education. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take out this trash, unless you would like me to help extract your foot from your mouth first.”

(Flustered and obviously embarrassed, the customer leaves the store in a hurry. My manager, who is also a classmate of mine, speaks with me once I return from the dumpsters.)

Manager: “Technically, you could be fired for badmouthing a customer while on the job like that.”

Me: “Technically, I’m not working right now! I haven’t clocked in, and my shift’s not for another half hour.”

Manager: “Well then, brave citizen, how does free apple pie sound?”

(I accepted, of course. You just don’t say no to free pie!)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:27
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 2
RESTAURANT | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 8, 2013
(I am out to breakfast with some friends from work.)

Me: “Excuse me, do you know if the cook uses milk to make the omelets or just eggs?”

Waitress: “Just eggs. Are you allergic to milk?”

Me: “No, but I am lactose intolerant and I forgot to bring my meds.”

(We all order our food. However, after the waitress leaves, I overhear someone from the table next to us asking for a manager.)

Other Customer: *loudly* “I want to complain about that waitress. I heard her interrogating that poor woman about her personal medical issues! I’m a doctor and I know you can’t just ask people about things like that! It’s against the law! She could sue you!”

Me: *to the other customer* “Excuse me, before things get out of hand here, I’m the person she’s talking about. First of all, our waitress asked if I had an allergy to milk. It was a good question considering I made a point of asking if some of your foods have milk in it. If I was really allergic, the kitchen would have to take extra precautions to avoid anaphylaxis. Secondly, there’s no such law that I know of unless you’re talking about the laws in place to protect your private health information from being accessed by other people without your permission. I don’t see how those would apply in this case.”

Other Customer: “What the h*** are you talking about? What are you, some kind of lawyer, smarta**?”

My Friend: “No, ‘doctor,’ she’s some kind of nurse.”

(We all pulled out our hospital IDs. The “doctor” shut up after that. The manager thanked us for clearing things up and left, and our waitress gave us a free round of cheesecake with a free lactose-free muffin for me!)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:27
This Story Just Drugs On And On And On
PHARMACY | RIGHT | FEBRUARY 9, 2013
(I work at a pharmacy, both as a tech and at the till when necessary. It is a Sunday, so the pharmacy is not heavily staffed. The sole customer waiting is a man, late 20s to early 30s, wearing a pink button-up shirt.)

Me: “Hello, sir. How can I help you?”

Pink Guy: “Six for [Name].”

(I search the current container and find five prescriptions. It’s not uncommon for a prescription to be put in adjacent containers if the proper one is too full, which this one likely was. I search the other containers but don’t find anything.)

Me: “One sec, I have to check the computer.”

(I check the computer. I do verify he has six prescriptions to pick up.)

Me: “Sorry about that. Can I verify the date of birth, please?”

Pink Guy: “What is this? You want my date of birth now?”

Me: “Yes sir, to verify the prescription.”

Pink Guy: “You guys never asked for that before.”

(I am roughly two years’ tenure in the pharmacy, and that has been a part of policy since day one.)

Me: “If I could just verify the date of birth to make sure there isn’t another person with the same name?”

Pink Guy: “It’s not very likely you’d have two people with the same exact name. I suppose you want me to verify my social security number in case someone has both my name and my birthday?”

(We actually do have two people with the same name and birthday.)

Me: “Not necessarily. I would go by address or phone number first.”

Pink Guy: “I’m not comfortable giving you my date of birth.”

Me: “I already have a date of birth here. I just need you to verify at least the month and the day.”

Pink Guy: *crossing his arms* “Fine. But just know that you’ve never asked me for this before and I’ve been coming here for years. It’s [birthday].”

Me: “Thank you, sir.” *check each of the prescriptions* “Okay. And I have all six prescriptions.”

Pink Guy: “Six?”

Me: “Yes, sir, six prescriptions.”

Pink Guy: “Not seven?”

Me: “Was there more?”

Pink Guy: “There should be one more.”

Me: “Okay, let me check the computer.”

(I go back to the computer, and re-enter him just to refresh the data. I verify each prescription that I have and make sure he doesn’t have another one that he usually refilled; none pop out.)

Me: “I only have six prescriptions for you, sir.”

Pink Guy: *with an inflection implying I’m a moron* “And there aren’t any for my wife?”

Me: “Oh, I see. It’s under another name.” *without asking him, I query by address, and find his wife. I see that she does have a pending prescription, but there’s a catch* “Did you call it in today?”

Pink Guy: “Yeah, I called it in this morning. It said it’d be ready tomorrow but I figured you guys would have it ready by now.”

Me: *explaining casually* “Well, not exactly. You see, when you call it in it actually gets picked up by an outside pharmacy and they fill it and ship it to us next-day. You did it through the automated system, right?”

Pink Guy: “Well, yeah. I’ve done it before and you guys had it ready.”

Me: “Well… I’m not sure about that time, but I do know the automated system tells you when the pickup is and then asks if you want it earlier; if you select that you want it earlier it sends it to us. Maybe that just didn’t go through this time.”

Pink Guy: “No, I just assumed you’d have it ready by now.”

(Well, at least he’s honest.)

Me: “Well, I’m sorry but we don’t. But I can pull it and we can fill it here. The pharmacist is out to lunch, but when he gets back in about ten minutes he’ll fill it right away. Do you have some shopping you could do or would you like to wait in the waiting area?”

(The pharmacist is behind the counter, but I’m not going to bother him unless I absolutely have to.)

Pink Guy: “No! I don’t have time for all of this crap! If you guys aren’t ready I’ll just waste my time and gas and get it tomorrow! I’m in a hurry!”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, sir.”

(I start scanning and bagging the prescriptions. He reaches across the counter at me to tear the bag away from me.)

Me: “Excuse me, just a sec, sir. I need you to verify the information on the screen.”

Pink Guy: “I thought you already verified everything. That’s why I gave you my date of birth!”

Me: “I need you to verify everything on the screen. Make sure all of the information is correct and hit ‘next’ in the lower-right of the screen.”

(Without looking at the screen, he hits the ‘back’ button at the lower-left.)

Me: *re-initializing the verification phase* “It’s the ‘next’ button on the lower-right, sir.”

(Second time’s the charm. He still doesn’t look at the screen.)

Me: “And if you could sign to verify you’ve picked up the prescriptions.”

Pink Guy: *mutters a signing-my-life-away cliche* “There. Are we done?” *extends his hand, expectantly*

Me: “Not quite. Your total comes to $20.”

Pink Guy: “Are you kidding me!? You make me go through all that and then you expect me to fork over $20? I have insurance! It covers everything! You must not have run it through, you idiots. Go check your little computer and you’ll see. I have never had to pay anything for my meds!”

(I go to the computer and refresh his information.)

Me: “It shows here we ran it through [Insurance]. They paid [amount] toward the prescription, leaving you with a co-pay of $20. The last time you got it, on [date], they paid [amount minus $20] and therefore you had a $40 co-pay. And you’ve had a $40 co-pay the last 3 times you picked this medication up.”

Pink Guy: “This is ridiculous! Whatever.” *pulls out his checkbook* “Can I get $100 cash-back?”

Me: “No, sir, the limit is $50. And, I’m sorry, but I don’t have enough in my till.”

Pink Guy: “Well… can’t you get more?”

Me: “I could, but it’d be faster for you if you just got a bottle of water and get cash-back up at the front.”

Pink Guy: *standing up defiantly* “I’m not making two transactions. I’ll wait.”

Me: “Okay. Your total is $70, and the date is [date].”

Pink Guy: “You said it was $20 before!”

Me: “Right. $20, plus $50 cash-back is $70.”

(He proceeds to write his check.)

Pink Guy: “Can I have my cash-back?”

Me: “I need to run the check first.”

(With a great show of impatience and contempt he tears the check out and hands it to me. It’s policy to verify the check by hand before running it through the feeder. Before even turning it my direction, I see he hasn’t signed it.)

Me: “Could you please sign the check?”

(He clicks his pen and makes a very dramatic and flourish display of signing the check.)

Me: “Thank you.” *I start to validate the check, the date is wrong by a few days* “I’m going to change it to today’s date and initial it, okay?”

Pink Guy: “Fine, whatever.”

(I check everything, saving the amount for last since I know it’s cash-back and I want to verify they match properly. But… there’s a problem.

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid I’ll need you to write a new check.”

Pink Guy: “What the he-why!?”

Me: “Because. You wrote the amount for $120, but the limit for cash-back is $50, and that’s how much I asked for.”

Pink Guy: “Well here!” *takes the check from me, scribbles all over it, and writes the new amounts in as tiny as he can above the errata* “There. You need my driver’s license?”

Me: “No, sir, I need you to write a new check. This one is illegible and I can’t accept it into my till.”

Pink Guy: “Screw you! Fine, forget the cash-back. I’ll just pay with my card.”

(He pulls the card out, and swipes it. But it’s too fast, I have to hit a button first.)

Me: “Okay, your card is ready to swipe.”

Pink Guy: “I already swiped it.”

Me: “I wasn’t ready in time, sorry. I have to hit a button for it to take. It’s ready now, though.”

Pink Guy: “The machine said it was ready!”

Me: “That’s the default screen. It always says that. I know it’s irritating. I wish they’d change it.”

(He swipes his card again, and poises with his pen. I expect him to start with the card transaction, but notice he’s still standing there after a second.)

Pink Guy: “Well?”

(I look at my screen, and realize it hasn’t taken the card still. I clear it and prime it again.)

Me: “Try it again, please?”

Pink Guy: “No! You’ll charge me twice!”

Me: “It won’t charge you twice. I promise. It only charges when you approve the amount and sign.”

Pink Guy: “If it charges me twice I’ll get you fired.”

Me: “I promise. It won’t charge you twice.”

(He poises with the card and practically stares me down as if judging the worth of my soul as he slides the card through. It’s then I notice the magnet strip is in his fingers.)

Me: “May I see your card, sir?”

Pink Guy: *apparently giving up, he responds less angrily than I expected* “Take it.”

(I take the card and swipe it through the correct way, setting it on the counter. Once again he poises with the pen, waiting for the prompt, and again, I notice it’s taking him a tad longer than other people. I look at the screen just as he comments.)

Pink Guy: “It’s still not doing anything.”

(I pick up his card, and take in a breath. It’s a ditch effort, but I enter the card number manually. No dice. I hand his card back.)

Me: “I’m sorry sir, your card won’t go through. Do you have another method of payment?” (It has been rejected.)

Pink Guy: “What the h***!” *literally throws the card at me, hitting my chest, and I catch it* “That’s a new f****** card! Of course it’ll take! Your computer is stupid!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir.”

(He leaves, and I continue the day setting any emotions aside to deal with for later. I put his credit card in with one of the scripts and make a note of it for whoever has to handle it. Later that week, the pharmacist, who had been sitting behind the counter that whole time, talks to me during a slow hour.)

Pharmacist: “Hey, [My Name], you remember Mr. [Pink Guy] from the other day?”

Me: “Yeah, what about him?”

Pharmacist: “His wife came by the next day. I did the transaction. She picked up all seven scripts. She didn’t say anything about the price. Paid with a perfect check, and got the $50 cash-back.”

Me: “So, she didn’t give you any trouble?”

Pharmacist: “No, not at all.”

Me: “Well, good. At least that whole thing happened on a slow day.”

Pharmacist: “Yeah. Anyway, here.” *takes a Barnes & Noble gift card from his smock pocket and sets it on the counter* “Consider this an apology from Mr. [Pink Guy].”

(The gift card was for $75.)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:29
Circumcise What I Just Said From Your Minds
AUSTRALIA, HOSPITAL, NURSES | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 20, 2019
(I have just given birth to my son and am with the nurse who is head of the maternity section. It just happens that we went to school together.)

Nurse: “So, we just have to get some things out of the way. First, do you want him circumcised?”

Me: “No, definitely not.”

Nurse: “Thank goodness. Do you know how horrible it is? They do it without anaesthesia and basically just cut the foreskin off with scissors. The poor babies go through so much pain, it makes me sick every time a parent wants it done, and I’m not allowed to try to talk anyone out of it or… um… say what I just said.”

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:29
Not What They Mean By Getting Plenty Of Bed Rest
ASSISTED LIVING, GOLDEN YEARS, MICHIGAN, RUDE & RISQUE, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 19, 2019
(A group of residents with varying stages of dementia is sitting around a table having coffee near my desk in the front lobby. One of them asks a question of the others…)

Resident #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “What happened to my hand?”

(She has a bruise over her wrist and the back of her hand.)

Resident #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “You fell out of your bed, remember? You landed on it.”

Resident #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Oh! I must have been having a good time in bed!”

(Both women cracked up laughing while the two men with them looked shocked. I managed to hold it together so they didn’t know I was listening in.)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:30
Don’t Grit Your Teeth To This
ASSISTED LIVING, GOLDEN YEARS, SWEDEN | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 18, 2019
(I am helping an old lady getting ready for bed one evening at the nursing home. A part of that includes assisting her with brushing her teeth. Some old people have dentures, and I can’t remember whether this lady has or not.)

Me: “Do you have your own teeth?”

Resident: “Yes, I do.”

Me: “Okay, then, here’s your toothbrush.”

(The lady then pops out her dentures.)

Me: “I thought you had your own teeth?”

Resident: “I do. I bought and paid for them myself.”

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:30
Smoking? There’s An App For That
BAD BEHAVIOR, HOSPITAL, KANSAS, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 17, 2019
(I am in the hospital after falling down a flight of stairs. My ankle is fractured.)

Me: “Excuse me. Can you please hand me my phone?”

Nurse: “No.”

Me: “What? Why not?”

Nurse: *huffy* “Well, it says on your chart that you’re a smoker. I’m not going to give you your phone so you can buy more cigarettes.”

Me: “I wasn’t planning on buying anything; I wanted to update my family and friends.”

Nurse: “I don’t believe you. I know your kind. You think you’re special because you destroy your body with drugs. I’m not letting you buy drugs!”

Me: “All right, let’s see what a patient advocate thinks about what you just said.”

Nurse: *goes pale and hands me my phone*

(Later, when I told my dad about it, he told the doctor, who rolled his eyes and said we weren’t the first to complain.)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:31
Choked By Your Own Doctor
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, IOWA, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 16, 2019
(I’ve had serious sinus/throat/ear problems for most of my life, along with pretty severe anxiety disorder; it’s so bad I was put on anti-anxiety meds at eight years old. Unfortunately, since I have an anxiety disorder, most of my problems have been brushed off as panic until they’re either too late to fix properly or until I fight with the doctors. I miss a pretty good bit of school because my ears hurt or I feel like I am choking, and I will go to the doctor each time. Each time, the pediatrician tells me, “It’s just a viral infection,” or, “It’s just your anxiety acting up.”)

Me: “I really don’t think this is viral; I’ve been coming in every month or so for two years or so.”

Doctor: “It’s just viral. I think you just like getting out of school, too.” *nudge nudge wink wink*

Me: “Uh, no. My grades are taking a hit. I can barely breathe and I feel like I’m choking constantly. This is not a panic thing, and it’s obviously not viral; otherwise, it wouldn’t always come back. Maybe you should do your job and actually figure out what’s wrong?”

Mom: *staring in shock because I’m not one to smart off*

Doctor: “If you can smart off like that, then you don’t need to see a pediatrician any more!”

(My mom schedules an appointment at a different doctor’s office, with a different doctor. I’m freaking out because I’ve never seen another doctor before in my fifteen years and many, MANY doctors appointments.)

New Doctor: *looks in my mouth* “Oh, my God! Your tonsils are huge. Like, can you breathe at all?”

Me: “No, not really. I always feel like I’m choking.”

New Doctor: “These have to come out.”

(So, I got my tonsils out, along with my adenoids. The surgeon told me they were the biggest he’d ever seen. I no longer feel like I’m being choked to death constantly. But having your tonsils pulled out at sixteen sucks.)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:31
With So Many Fillings He Has Become Very Dense
DENTIST, JERK, MICHIGAN, PATIENTS, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 15, 2019
Patient: “Why do I need an x-ray?”

Me: “To check for problems [Doctor] might have missed.”

Patient: “Problems like what?”

Me: “Cavities between your teeth and under your fillings, and gum disease.”

Patient: “If [Doctor]’s eyesight is so bad that he can’t even see cavities anymore, why is he still a dentist?”

Me: “There is nothing wrong with [Doctor]’s eyesight, sir. It would be impossible for anyone to look underneath fillings and in between your teeth.”

Patient: “So, I just let him poke around my mouth for nothing? Why didn’t you tell me that right away? I would have skipped the exam and just done the x-ray. Now I need to pay for something that is completely useless. You are ripping me off. I’ll get a second opinion.”

Me: “You are welcome to do that. But they’ll want to do an exam, as well.”

Patient: “I’ll tell them that you already did.”

Me: “They’ll still want to actually look at your teeth. Believe me.”

Patient: “So, you are trying to tell me that they’ll rip me off, too?”

Me: “Sir, an x-ray is more expensive than an exam.”

Patient: “Oh, if you do the x-ray, can I take that to my second opinion dentist?”

Me: “Yes.”

Patient: “So, I’m right. The exam is useless.”

Me: “Do you want an x-ray or not now?”

Patient: “Do I get a refund if you don’t find anything?”

Me: “No, you can’t get a refund.”

Patient: “You people are so greedy.”

Me: *speechless*

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:32
A Cyst-emic Problem In Healthcare
BAD BEHAVIOR, BIGOTRY, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, MEDICAL OFFICE, MINNESOTA, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 14, 2019
(I get fed up with my old doctor refusing to do anything other than tell me to “just lose some weight” and I go to a new clinic.)

Doctor: “I see you changed practices. Do you have any medical files with you or are they sending them over?”

Me: “They might send them over, but they’re going to be next to empty and claim I’m only overweight. My last doctor didn’t pay any attention to any of the symptoms I would tell him about. If it doesn’t happen in front of him he thinks it doesn’t happen ever, and all he would ever tell me is that I need to lose weight. I know I need to, but I’ve honestly been dieting and exercising and nothing has happened. I’ve had hormone problems my entire life, but he just kept telling me to eat better.”

Doctor: “That sounds… bad. Okay, tell me what’s going on with your hormones, and I’ll have a nurse come in and draw your blood for labs. You also seem to have a small lump on your neck.”

Me: “Yeah, I’m prone to cysts. I was going to get it looked at if it didn’t go away. Getting them drained isn’t pleasant, so I wait and see if they take care of themselves before I go in.”

Doctor: “I’ll take a look at it, anyway. You’re already here, might as well.”

(I leave the appointment satisfied that the doctor didn’t mention my weight at all except to ask if I’ve noticed any fluctuation with it. A week later, the doctor calls me back in.)

Doctor: “I ran your labs and, like I thought, you also high levels of testosterone. You have something called–“

Me: “Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome or PCOS?”

Doctor: “Exactly.”

Me: “I asked my old doctor about that years ago since I’m prone to getting cysts on my ovaries, but he never tested me for it.”

Doctor: “Well, I did, and you definitely have it. You also seem to have some thyroid problems, and I’d like for you to get a biopsy of the lump on your neck.”

Me: “Really?”

Doctor: “Yes, since I saw you last week, it’s gotten bigger, and I don’t think it’s a cyst.”

(It wasn’t. It was a cancerous tumor on my thyroid. When the surgeon opened me up to remove it, cancer had already spread to the surrounding lymph nodes, which then also had to be removed. After some radiation and chemo, I’m in remission, but if I had stayed with the old fat-shaming doctor, I’d be dead. Thankfully, that doctor retired and no longer “treats” patients.)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:32
The Nutty Doctor
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, SWEDEN | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 11, 2019
(A couple of years ago, I started having really low blood sugar levels. It turned out that I needed surgery but I could not get it right away. To try to help me during the wait, my endocrinologist referred me to a dietician so see if there were some diet changes I could do to reduce the risk of going so low I passed out. I am very allergic to nuts. I go to the dietician and she looks at my list of food that I have eaten for the last three days and asks if I have any allergies, which I tell her about.)

Doctor: “You need to eat a snack in the afternoon that keeps the blood sugar levels up better. A handful of nuts is good.”

Me: “I am allergic to nuts.”

Doctor: “So, as I was saying. You need to eat at least 60g for it to be good for you.”

Me: “Still can’t eat nuts. Allergy…”

Doctor: “But nuts are good for you.”

Me: “They might be good for other people, but I am allergic to nuts. Is there really nothing to replace them with?”

Doctor: “Nuts are good for everybody. They help stabilize the blood sugar.”

Me: “One more time, I am allergic to nuts. I will die if I eat them. I can’t have nuts.”

Doctor: “I don’t know why you came here if you don’t allow me to help you.”

Me: “I want help. I just can’t eat nuts. Are there any other foods that I can have as a snack?”

Doctor: “I recommend at least 60 grams of nuts as a snack.”

Me: “Thanks for your time. I’ll see myself out.”

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:32
They’ll Be Tongue-Wagging About This For A While
DENTIST, PATIENTS, SILLY, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 3, 2019
(It’s my first visit to the dentist in over ten years, and I tell the doctor that. What she doesn’t know is that I’m very nervous. The last time I was at a dentist, I was 15 and the doctor didn’t put in any anesthesia and drilled into my tooth. It was excruciating and I was crying a lot, and he didn’t seem to care. In fact, he seemed used to crying in his office. Anyway, I decide to bite the bullet and go for a checkup with a woman doctor, hoping she’ll be more sensitive. She finds three cavities, much to my dismay. She actually uses novocaine, and my gum is all properly numbed. However, I suffer from anxiety, so when she’s drilling my tooth, I can’t help but picture her slipping and drilling into my TONGUE, instead. This gives my tongue a mind of its own. It starts trying to escape, wiggling all about, trying to pull itself free and out! I can feel it moving, but the harder I try to stop it — since I don’t want to weird her out — the more it tries. Finally, she stops.)

Doctor: “You don’t have to wiggle your tongue around that much you know. Just try to keep it still.”

Me: “Sorry. I’ll try.”

(And I did, but I could still feel it moving. Finally, she was done and I zipped out of there to pay. I could tell she was relieved, too, and probably told her husband about my crazy tongue!)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:33
A Sick Fantasy
AUSTRALIA, CHILDREN, COWORKERS, DAYCARE, NEW SOUTH WALES, REVOLTING | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 1, 2019
(I work in a childcare centre. Every ten minutes we have to check on the sleeping children in the nursery to make sure they are still alive and breathing. A coworker who is quiet, sweet, and very unsure of herself does the check and comes out of one of the cot rooms to say:)

Coworker: “[Child] has thrown up a little.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Do you want to clean it up, or do the washing up I was about to do and let me clean it up?”

Coworker: “Ah, I’d like to do the washing up if you don’t mind.”

Me: “Sure thing.”

(I go grab what I will need –gloves, washcloths, bag for clothes, etc. — and walk into the room. The child has projectile vomited in her sleep; it is EVERYWHERE and the child is still asleep. The sheets need to be thrown out, the cot has to be disinfected, and the child needs a bath — it is in her hair and in her socks. I walk up to that coworker later.)

Me: “Um, [Coworker]…”

Coworker: “Yes?”

Me: “You led me down a bit of a fantasy there by saying it was a little bit of vomit.”

(She and the other coworkers in the staff room lost it with laughter.)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:33
Breathe Easy: This One Has A Happy Ending
COLORADO, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, PETS & ANIMALS, USA, VET | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 16, 2019
(My dog has developed a swollen face, is vomiting, and is not her usual, rambunctious self, but not lethargic. Although I’ve had dogs most of my life, I’ve never had a dog with such symptoms. It’s late in the day, just before they are due to close, but I call my veterinarian’s office for advice. She had a Bordetella vaccine just a few days ago so I think it might be related and mention that. After I explained the symptoms and asked about any relation to the vaccine:)

Receptionist: “I don’t think it’s related to the vaccine, but let me check.” *a few moments of silence* “No, the vet doesn’t think such an allergic reaction would happen at this point. It’s been three days and any adverse effects generally are seen with the first few hours, not longer than 48. Besides, the Bordetella vaccine doesn’t cause anything like what you’re describing. If you’re concerned, I can fit you in at the next available appointment. How about Tuesday at 10:00 am?”

(I’m calling on a Thursday.)

Me: “Um, did you say allergic reaction? Do you really think I should wait almost a week to have something like that checked? By then, I’m sure she would be already recovered or dead! Maybe I should take her to the emergency vet?”

Receptionist: “Well, the face swelling usually means the pet is on the way to recovery from whatever set it off, but yes, possibly an allergic reaction. If it makes you feel better, we can see her at 8:00 am tomorrow, but leave us a voicemail to let us know tonight or first thing in the morning if you won’t be coming. She should be fine.”

Me: “And if it gets worse, I’ll take her to the emergency vet; either way, I’ll let the office know if I don’t need that appointment.”

(My dog did appear to be improving, with the swelling decreasing. She stopped vomiting and started acting more energetic, but I didn’t call to cancel that appointment. Close to midnight, she started almost frantically pacing, madly shaking her head every couple of minutes — maybe something in her ear? — and couldn’t get comfortable to sleep. She generally sleeps on her own blanket at my feet on the bed but finally, about two am, she settled down wrapped around my head, laying on my pillow with her head on mine, her nose next to my ear. Soon, her breathing became soft and her usual light snoring started, and I dozed off myself. I was suddenly jolted awake a few minutes after four am and I quickly realized that, even though her nose was next to my ear, I couldn’t hear her breathing! I quickly sat up and turned to check on her. She was not only not breathing, but she was totally limp like a rag, no muscle tone at all, and she felt somewhat cold to the touch. I quickly moved her to an accessible position and started chest compressions, with no response, and I started bawling, calling her name, and berating myself for not taking her to the emergency vet. That woke my husband up and he, too, acknowledged that she appeared to be gone. He reached out to touch and caress her limp body and pretty much instinctively, I think, also squeezed her chest. And her head moved, very slightly. Imagination? Wishful thinking? No, it moved again and she started breathing again! It took several minutes but she recovered enough to pull herself to her blanket and she almost immediately fell asleep, gently snoring. She slept; we didn’t. I kept that appointment, but by then she was not showing any remaining symptoms at all, except for a bit of residual swelling. After questioning why we hadn’t given her any Benadryl –I wasn’t instructed to and didn’t know to do so — the vet explained that the head shaking was because the swelling makes the ears “not feel right,” that her ears were then perfectly clear and her temperature and color normal. I’m not sure the vet believed what had happened earlier, but he noted it all in her file. My pup was given injections of Benadryl and steroids to fight off any remaining toxins, but didn’t have any further issues. We still have no idea what caused such a dramatic allergic reaction, but it’s suspected to be a bug or spider bite from the back yard. Now, we keep Benadryl in the medicine cabinet and have instructions that if she begins to show any similar symptoms, no matter how slight, we are to give her half of a tablet and take her to the emergency vet immediately. And one veterinary receptionist is probably in a heap of trouble for his casual reaction to my very real concerns.)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:34
LOL-ly
AUSTRALIA, AWESOME, GRANDPARENTS, HOSPITAL, INSPIRATIONAL, NEW SOUTH WALES, NON-DIALOGUE, NURSES, PATIENTS, SYDNEY | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 13, 2019
Late at night, my grandfather calls me to say my grandmother is having an “episode” and needs me. I hurry over, take one look at her, and call an ambulance; we escort her to the hospital.

My grandmother has become increasingly anxious about getting older and sicker and is visibly shaking and getting upset at the sudden onset of people around her taking blood, canulating, running ECGs, etc. The primary nurse has been professional, but far from warm or personable. My grandmother and I are nurses ourselves — well, Grandma was, years ago — so we totally understand that that happens sometimes.

My grandmother is given a cup of disgusting potassium liquid to drink, which she does quickly, but, in an effort to try and cheer herself up, she says, “Ugh! Wah wah wah! I want a lolly after that!”

The primary nurse disappears out of the room for a minute and returns… holding a rainbow lollipop, which she unwraps and presents to Grandma. She says, still in her serious voice, “That’s for being a brave girl,” and then heads out of the room again.

Grandma was so chuffed she talked about that little gesture for her remaining years.

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:34
A Sample Of The Local Community
MEDICAL OFFICE, NON-DIALOGUE, OKLAHOMA, REVOLTING, TULSA, USA | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 9, 2019
My doctor wrote up an order for some blood work. On my way in, I passed a mailbox mounted to the wall outside.

It can’t be confused with anything but a mailbox. It even has a little red flag to raise for outgoing mail.

The nurse who drew my blood told me that the mail carrier just walked inside and delivered the mail. The box was unused. Then, one day someone suspected that things were being put in the box. There was no key. It had to be forced open.

Yup.

People were using it for a specimen dropbox. Blood, urine, and stool samples in whatever jar someone felt like putting them in had been put in a black metal box in full Oklahoma summer heat — normally over 100F. Anyone besides me thinking, “How many people tried to tear off the sign and rip away the tape to insert some new sample?”

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:34
One Man’s Meat Is Another Man’s Poison
COWORKERS, EMPLOYEES, HEALTH & BODY, MARYLAND, RETAIL, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 6, 2019
(I work at a store with around 80 to 100 total employees. In the last few months, there have been a surprising number of people missing work due to food poisoning, about 20 times in the last three or four months. Emails have been going around, with some people complaining, some passive-aggressively implying people are making it up or blowing it out of proportion, and a few of us trying to actually make lists of restaurants in the area workers might go out to eat, or where they shopped, to see trends. We get a lot of people in the store, even if they have not had food poisoning, to describe their lunch habits. Still, even with the information, nothing really seems to add up. Some of the people usually get lunch at the restaurants nearby, but none of the restaurants seem more likely than others. Sometimes it was pizza, sometimes it was people bringing leftovers that had been fine the day before, sometimes they had eaten out, sometimes they had not. None of it seems to make a lot of sense. Today, I am in our break room for lunch when I see a coworker putting a few chicken wings on a napkin into one of the two microwaves. After a moment, something clicks in my head and I look back at the microwave with chicken inside.)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], are you cooking chicken?”

Coworker: “Yeah! [Grocery Store] sells bags of frozen wings. They make a good lunch.”

Me: “Are they precooked?”

Coworker: “No, you have to cook them. Our microwave takes forever, though.”

Me: “Okay, so, you cook the frozen wings in the microwave?”

Coworker: “Just put them in the refrigerator in the morning and they defrost by lunchtime.”

Me: “Okay, gotcha.”

(Throughout the conversation, I don’t think my coworker picks up on my disbelief, so I just sit down and watch him as he plays on his phone, occasionally checking the chicken. At the end, the napkin the wings are on is clearly soggy with something, so he grabs another paper towel and wipes off the glass tray in the microwave, then wipes off the counter where there are a few drips. He then sets the napkin down on one of the tables and eats from it. We have paper plates on hand, but he just has the wings on a napkin. Once he finishes, he throws out the bones and gets another napkin to wipe off the damp spot left on the table under his napkin, throws it out, and goes back to the sales floor.)

Me: *on a walkie-talkie* “Hey, [Manager], could you meet me in the break room, please? I might have found the cause of the recent food issues.”

(The manager gave him a talking-to, but he genuinely did not seem to understand why what he was doing was a huge health risk. We heavily sanitized the break room with bleach, and here’s hoping the food poisoning issues are done with.)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:35
One Man’s Meat Is Another Man’s Poison
COWORKERS, EMPLOYEES, HEALTH & BODY, MARYLAND, RETAIL, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 6, 2019
(I work at a store with around 80 to 100 total employees. In the last few months, there have been a surprising number of people missing work due to food poisoning, about 20 times in the last three or four months. Emails have been going around, with some people complaining, some passive-aggressively implying people are making it up or blowing it out of proportion, and a few of us trying to actually make lists of restaurants in the area workers might go out to eat, or where they shopped, to see trends. We get a lot of people in the store, even if they have not had food poisoning, to describe their lunch habits. Still, even with the information, nothing really seems to add up. Some of the people usually get lunch at the restaurants nearby, but none of the restaurants seem more likely than others. Sometimes it was pizza, sometimes it was people bringing leftovers that had been fine the day before, sometimes they had eaten out, sometimes they had not. None of it seems to make a lot of sense. Today, I am in our break room for lunch when I see a coworker putting a few chicken wings on a napkin into one of the two microwaves. After a moment, something clicks in my head and I look back at the microwave with chicken inside.)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], are you cooking chicken?”

Coworker: “Yeah! [Grocery Store] sells bags of frozen wings. They make a good lunch.”

Me: “Are they precooked?”

Coworker: “No, you have to cook them. Our microwave takes forever, though.”

Me: “Okay, so, you cook the frozen wings in the microwave?”

Coworker: “Just put them in the refrigerator in the morning and they defrost by lunchtime.”

Me: “Okay, gotcha.”

(Throughout the conversation, I don’t think my coworker picks up on my disbelief, so I just sit down and watch him as he plays on his phone, occasionally checking the chicken. At the end, the napkin the wings are on is clearly soggy with something, so he grabs another paper towel and wipes off the glass tray in the microwave, then wipes off the counter where there are a few drips. He then sets the napkin down on one of the tables and eats from it. We have paper plates on hand, but he just has the wings on a napkin. Once he finishes, he throws out the bones and gets another napkin to wipe off the damp spot left on the table under his napkin, throws it out, and goes back to the sales floor.)

Me: *on a walkie-talkie* “Hey, [Manager], could you meet me in the break room, please? I might have found the cause of the recent food issues.”

(The manager gave him a talking-to, but he genuinely did not seem to understand why what he was doing was a huge health risk. We heavily sanitized the break room with bleach, and here’s hoping the food poisoning issues are done with.)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:36
Getting Very Anal About The Probing Questions
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NEBRASKA, NON-DIALOGUE, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 10, 2019
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

In 2013, at the age of 25, I begin to have tonic-clonic seizures. Prior to this, I have never experienced any kind of seizure. As the doctors are trying to understand what’s going on with me, they recommend an MRI to see if there are any physical indications in my brain as to what’s going on. Before the referral is made, the doctor asks if I have any metal in my body and I tell them no, and they note it in my chart. They tell me not to wear any jewelry when I go to have the MRI.

I go to the MRI clinic and throughout the paperwork process, I am asked several times if I have any metal in my body. I write “no” on all the paperwork and confirm this verbally with the intake person. I then speak with the nurse who takes me back to where the MRI is, and she asks me a couple of times if I have metal in me, as well. I tell her no and that I didn’t wear any jewelry. She writes that down and leaves me to change into clothing with nothing metal in it and to hang out in the room until the tech can come in and prep the machine.

After about five minutes, the tech comes in and begins prepping everything. “Before you lay down, I need to ask if you have any metal in or on your body.”

I am profoundly tired, in a lot of pain from the seizures, and scared I have a brain tumor, and so my coping mechanism kicks in. “Oh, no, just the implant the alien put in me when I was taken up on the mothership,” I say, as brightly as possible.

She looks at me quizzically and I repeat myself, smiling to let her know I’m kidding. She’s silent for a beat and then just sighs and tells me to get on the table. No chill at all.

I understand why they have to ask about metal due to the intense magnetism, but jeez, look at the charts, people! I don’t think I need to answer this question twelve times in the span of 48 hours.

Also, I don’t have a tumor, and my implant didn’t show up in the scan!

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:36
Piddle Me This
BAD BEHAVIOR, CONNECTICUT, PETS & ANIMALS, REVOLTING, USA, VET | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 9, 2019
(I work at a very busy veterinary hospital, and due to the volume of clients and the fact that we are near a highway, we have a “dogs on leashes, cats in carriers” rule to keep everyone safe. People often carry in small dogs, though, and today a woman sets her puppy down and lets it run around the lobby.)

Coworker: “Hi! I’m sorry, but could you please pick your puppy up? She’s very cute, but sometimes we get dogs in that don’t like other dogs.”

Woman: *scoffs* “I don’t let her run around. She had to pee, and it was either on me or on your floor.”

(Outside in the big grassy areas dividing the parking lot was, apparently, not an option. We get animals that piddle on the floor for a variety of reasons throughout the day, but I don’t think it’s ever been quite THIS intentional.)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:36
Ovaries: The Biggest Threat To A Medical Degree
AUSTRALIA, BIGOTRY, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 8, 2019
(I am in a waiting room at the medical centre. A female doctor calls a man’s name.)

Male Patient: *to receptionist* “Hey, that’s a woman doctor!”

Receptionist: “Yes, and it’s her first day, so we’re letting her practice on you.”

Male Patient: “Hmph. I didn’t come here for no woman doctor.” *leaves*

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:37
Bloodshot
HOSPITAL, NORTH CAROLINA, NURSES, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 7, 2019
(I’m pregnant with my daughter and at the hospital to have labor induced. The nurse is going over final checks and running down how the birthing is going to — ideally — go.)

Nurse: “We may need to give you a blood transfusion if you bleed too much. Let me explain the benefits–”

Me: “Approved. B+.”

Nurse: “Um… Okay… Sign this form.”

(We go through some other routine stuff and get to treating the baby after she’s born.)

Nurse: “It’s standard to give a Hep B and Vitamin K shot to the baby. You don’t have to, of course, but the benefits are…”

Me: “Do it. All the shots.”

Nurse: “Oh, thank God!”

(She caught herself and apologized for her breach of bedside manner. We have a few religious sects in the area that are anti-transfusion and anti-vax, so I can imagine the pushback she got day-to-day. I laughed and explained that we are a “science” family and the awkwardness melted away. The rest of the checks and forms were done relatively quickly now that the nurse knew she didn’t have to sell me on everything. The birth went mostly smoothly and my daughter is now a healthy fifteen-month-old.)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:38
Happens All The Bloody Time
BLOOD DONATION, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HEALTH & BODY, USA, WASHINGTON | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 5, 2019
(I donate blood about every two months, provided that I’m healthy enough to do so. One thing the blood bank screens for is anemia: my hematocrit has to be 38 or higher to donate and not become anemic from it. Hematocrit in the low 30s is anemic; around mid-20s you’d probably need a transfusion yourself. But some time in the last eight weeks, the blood bank switched to testing hemoglobin instead, the minimum donation number for which is 12.5. I didn’t know it was a new test.)

Phlebotomist: “Okay, your temperature, blood pressure, and pulse look good. Let’s test your iron.” *pricks my finger, takes a few drops of blood, and puts them in the tester* “You’re testing at 12.6.”

Me: “My hematocrit is 12.6? Should I go to the hospital?”

Phlebotomist: “What? Why? Oh! No, your hemoglobin is 12.6, which for our purposes is equivalent to a 39 hematocrit. You’re fine to donate. If you had a 12.6 hematocrit, you’d be unconscious at least. I’d be calling an ambulance… or a hearse.”

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:38
They’ll Be Tongue-Wagging About This For A While
DENTIST, PATIENTS, SILLY, USA | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 3, 2019
(It’s my first visit to the dentist in over ten years, and I tell the doctor that. What she doesn’t know is that I’m very nervous. The last time I was at a dentist, I was 15 and the doctor didn’t put in any anesthesia and drilled into my tooth. It was excruciating and I was crying a lot, and he didn’t seem to care. In fact, he seemed used to crying in his office. Anyway, I decide to bite the bullet and go for a checkup with a woman doctor, hoping she’ll be more sensitive. She finds three cavities, much to my dismay. She actually uses novocaine, and my gum is all properly numbed. However, I suffer from anxiety, so when she’s drilling my tooth, I can’t help but picture her slipping and drilling into my TONGUE, instead. This gives my tongue a mind of its own. It starts trying to escape, wiggling all about, trying to pull itself free and out! I can feel it moving, but the harder I try to stop it — since I don’t want to weird her out — the more it tries. Finally, she stops.)

Doctor: “You don’t have to wiggle your tongue around that much you know. Just try to keep it still.”

Me: “Sorry. I’ll try.”

(And I did, but I could still feel it moving. Finally, she was done and I zipped out of there to pay. I could tell she was relieved, too, and probably told her husband about my crazy tongue!)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:38
A Sick Fantasy
AUSTRALIA, CHILDREN, COWORKERS, DAYCARE, NEW SOUTH WALES, REVOLTING | HEALTHY | OCTOBER 1, 2019
(I work in a childcare centre. Every ten minutes we have to check on the sleeping children in the nursery to make sure they are still alive and breathing. A coworker who is quiet, sweet, and very unsure of herself does the check and comes out of one of the cot rooms to say:)

Coworker: “[Child] has thrown up a little.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Do you want to clean it up, or do the washing up I was about to do and let me clean it up?”

Coworker: “Ah, I’d like to do the washing up if you don’t mind.”

Me: “Sure thing.”

(I go grab what I will need –gloves, washcloths, bag for clothes, etc. — and walk into the room. The child has projectile vomited in her sleep; it is EVERYWHERE and the child is still asleep. The sheets need to be thrown out, the cot has to be disinfected, and the child needs a bath — it is in her hair and in her socks. I walk up to that coworker later.)

Me: “Um, [Coworker]…”

Coworker: “Yes?”

Me: “You led me down a bit of a fantasy there by saying it was a little bit of vomit.”

(She and the other coworkers in the staff room lost it with laughter.)

florida80
04-20-2021, 20:39
Infarction Infraction
AMUSEMENT PARK, BAD BEHAVIOR, FLORIDA, NURSES, ORLANDO, STRANGERS, USA | HEALTHY | SEPTEMBER 29, 2019
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(I am on vacation with my family, and my fianceé and I have gone to one of several theme parks in the area. I have a medical condition that can cause severe heart palpitations, which can cause me to lose consciousness for a few minutes. We are standing in line for a ride when I begin to feel off; I know I’m about to have a bad episode and I tell my fianceé that I need to sit down. She understands and helps me get out of line, but we don’t make it far before I lose consciousness. As I am taller than she is — I’m 6’4” and she is 5’3” — she is unable to help me once I’m out and I fall to the ground. I wake up a few minutes later to the sound of my fianceé arguing with someone I don’t know.)

Fiancé: “Stop touching him like that! He doesn’t need CPR!”

Woman: “Of course he does! I’m a nurse and I know what a heart attack looks like!”

Me: *still very dazed* “What’s going on?”

(As I try to sit up, I’m forced back down onto the concrete.)

Fiancé: “Enough! Heart palpitations and heart attacks may look similar but they aren’t! If he was having a heart attack, he’d have the classic symptoms! He passed out because he has [specific medical condition]! Look at his medical alert bracelet, for f***’s sake!”

Woman: “People who have [specific medical condition] usually have an alert dog, and he doesn’t. Now let someone with actual medical training work!” *turns to me* “Now, son, you’re having a heart attack. I need you to calm your breathing down and–”

(By now, I’ve regained consciousness enough to know what is going on. I am still dazed, as I usually am after an episode, but I know this woman is full of it.)

Me: *sits up slowly, glaring at the woman before raising my medical alert bracelet* “I have [specific medical condition]. We are on holiday and I couldn’t bring my alert dog with me because she didn’t get her shots in time. Now, if you would kindly f*** off, all I want is some water and ice because I smacked my head when I fell.”

Woman: “How dare you speak to me like that?! I know what’s best for you! I’m a nurse!”

Me: “With all respect, kindly go f*** yourself. Any nurse would know the difference between palpitations and an infarction. I don’t know who you are, but if you try to do anything to me, I’m getting someone to call security and I’ll press charges.”

(The woman proceeded to yell, “I’m a nurse! I know what I’m doing!” and continued to scold my fianceé and me for “lying.” Security was called — by pro staff — and she was escorted away.)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:08
A Very Testing Medical Appointment
AUSTRALIA, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, MEDICAL OFFICE | HEALTHY | MAY 9, 2019
Doctor: “This next test is very dangerous for fetuses, so we need to test and make sure you’re not pregnant first.”

Me: “I’m not pregnant.”

Doctor: “Well, sometimes people don’t know that they are.”

Me: “Didn’t we just establish that I have a birth control insert in place to control my period?”

Doctor: “Those aren’t 100% reliable. We need a test.”

Me: “I’m not sexually active. At all. Ever.”

Doctor: *suddenly perplexed* “But you have an insert.”

Me: “Because without it I bled for ten weeks straight out of every twelve for two years. Because I have POCS. Which is why we just spent half this appointment reviewing my last blood results.”

Doctor: “Oh. Right. I forgot.”

Me: “So, can we move onto that test now?”

Doctor: “Which test were you thinking of?”

Me: “…”

Doctor: “…”

Me: “I’m your last appointment at the end of your shift, aren’t I?”

Doctor: *surprised* “How could you possibly know that?”

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:08
Doesn’t Have An Eye For This Job
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, IRELAND, VET | HEALTHY | MAY 8, 2019
My friends found a kitten when stuck in traffic a few years ago. He had a very badly infected eye, and after adopting him we opted to have it removed; the lid was stitched shut over the socket, and apart from some minor depth perception issues it never bothered him in the slightest in the three years he lived afterward. He was famous among friends, family, and neighbours for being the one-eyed tabby cat, so it was pretty obviously gone.

We always saw the same vet for every appointment and surgery, until his last yearly checkup and vaccinations. The vet we saw was either newly-trained or inexperienced, but fairly competent at what she did because that cat was never as quiet during a check-up!

Everything was going fine; weight was optimal, good overall condition, no unusual lumps or bumps, clean ears and teeth, right eye perfect… and then she tried to open his sewn-shut eyelid.

She was very apologetic to humans and cat alike upon realising her mistake. He was used to kids poking at him, but it still makes me giggle to think of her not noticing his one distinguishing feature.

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:08
A Stroke Of Bad Luck
BAD BEHAVIOR, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, OREGON, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 8, 2019
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(While clocking into work, I unexpectedly suffer a stroke. I am a 35-year-old school bus driver and I do not take illegal drugs or drink alcohol. As the EMTs bring me into the ER, the doctor asks what my condition is.)

EMT: “She’s having a stroke.”

Doctor: “Nonsense. She’s too young. How old is she?”

EMT: “35.”

Doctor: “See, too young. Must be a drug overdose.”

EMT: “No, do the FAST test. Face; her smile is crooked. Arms; her left side is paralyzed. Speech; her words are slurred. Time; we got her here in time. Give her clot busters to break up the blood clot causing her stroke.”

Doctor: *angrily* “You’re just an EMT! I say it’s a drug overdose!”

(The EMTs leave, and the doctor turns to me, yelling.)

Doctor: “What drugs did you take?!”

Me: *slurred because the left side of my face and tongue are not working* “I can hear you fine; you don’t have to yell. I took some Nyquil last night for a cold.”

Doctor: *sarcastically* “Nyquil?! More like Meth!” *to nurse* “I need a meth overdose kit here!”

Me: *trying to yell back at him* “I. Don’t. Take. Drugs.”

Nurse: *reluctantly bringing kit* “Are you sure? She shows classic stroke signs.”

(As the doctor gets an overdose injection ready, my husband enters the room, having met and talked to the EMTs in the ambulance bay as they were leaving.)

Husband: “Stop. Don’t touch her again.”

Doctor: *sputtering* “She’s obviously a drug addict. I’m giving her the best treatment for that.”

Husband: “And you’re obviously an idiot.”

(My husband and the doctor are circling my gurney during this exchange. The doctor is trying to stay out of my husband’s reach.)

Husband: *to nurse* “Please call for an ambulance; I want her treated at [Hospital ten miles away]. Not by him.” *points at the doctor*

(The doctor practically sprints from room.)

Nurse: *to husband* “I thought you were gonna kill him. I kind of wish you had caught him.”

(The same EMTs returned. As they were loading me into the ambulance they told my husband that they told that doctor I was having a stroke, but he’s kind of a know-it-all a**hole and they were glad I would be treated somewhere else. I was greeted at the other ER by a neurologist with clot-busting drugs at the door. He says that, luckily, that delay won’t impact my recovery.)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:10
Insults Are Free!
JERK, PATIENTS, PENNSYLVANIA, PETS & ANIMALS, PHILADELPHIA, USA, VET | HEALTHY | MAY 8, 2019
I am a relatively new veterinarian. Often, we will get a case come in as ADR — Ain’t Doing Right — which is to say they are acting a bit off, but not always obvious what is wrong. I have an ADR older golden retriever come in with Mom and Son. They give the history: the dog has been losing weight, not eating well, lethargic, and having dark stools for a few weeks. This dog also has a history of ear problems. The last time we saw the dog was over two years ago. They have limited funds, so I try to work on a step-by-step diagnostic to try to get the most information before determining if more diagnostics are needed.

Starting with the physical exam: the dog is severely muscle wasted, lethargic — as they said — and dehydrated, and he has a new heart murmur. After discussing with Mom, we decide to start with bloodwork. It comes up with some very mild liver changes, but nothing too noteworthy. We are at the upper point of their budget, so I discuss my next recommendation of chest x-rays and what we would do depending on what we found, quoting them the costs for everything before anything is performed. They agree to the x-rays, and unfortunately, the x-rays show possible heart enlargement, but again nothing too exciting. So, they agree to try a heart medication, subcutaneous fluids, and an anti-emetic and see how the dog responds. It’s worth noting there were additional tests I would have liked to do, but I didn’t want to stretch their budget too much further.

A few days later, the dog isn’t improving on the heart meds, so I recommend an abdominal ultrasound — at a different vet — to better evaluate the gastrointestinal tract and surrounding organs. Unfortunately, the ultrasound looks like liver cancer, which I am very surprised by given how mild the blood work was.

I receive a request to contact the Father when I return to work the day after the ultrasound. I give him a call back, assuming he wants to discuss further treatment and prognosis. Boy, was I wrong.

Turns out he just wants to spend ten minutes telling me I am a crook, only in it for the money, and don’t care about animals. He continues to tell me that I took advantage of his wife and his upset son, and had them spend more money than they were willing. He rails that the dog was coming in for an ear infection, and I had them do a bunch of unnecessary tests. Any time I try to interject, either to explain my findings and recommendations as he wasn’t there, or to confirm what he thinks happened at the appointment, he simply talks over me, stating he doesn’t care what justifications I have and that “[he] is onto [my] game.” It continues until I am crying against the wall and finally have permission from the practice owner to hang up on him.

The fun part: he calls right back to have my receptionist tell me I am an a**hole. I still have to talk to his (much nicer) wife to answer her questions, and I almost can’t bring myself to do it. As of now, I refuse to discuss anything further with the Father.

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:10
Broken History
DENMARK, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, PATIENTS | HEALTHY | MAY 7, 2019
(I fall outside my front door. I still can’t walk on my ankle two days later, and given my rather unfortunate history with broken bones, my parents decide to take me to the hospital to have it x-rayed. I am pretty sure it isn’t broken but better safe than sorry. I have it x-rayed and the doctor comes in with the x-ray picture. She puts it on the wall where we can all see it.)

Doctor: “I don’t think that it is broken, but it is a little hard to tell with all the previous fractures. I sent it to a specialist, just to make sure. If it is broken, we will call you tomorrow.”

Mother: “[My Name] has fortunately only had greenstick fractures so far!”

Doctor: *looks at the big, obvious nick on my bone, then looks at my mum* “No.”

(I cracked up, and the doctor pointed the old break out to my mum. I’d had another fall six months before, but I didn’t bother going to the hospital because I have my own crutches and bandages at home. I had thought it was just a sprain, but apparently not. My ankle was not broken this time, but my parents now take me to the hospital if there’s the slightest chance something is broken.)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:11
Would Face-Palm If You Weren’t Paralyzed
FRIENDS, HOSPITAL, NON-DIALOGUE, PATIENTS, STUPID, UK | HEALTHY | MAY 7, 2019
My daughter is in the ICU suffering from Guillain-Barré syndrome. She is totally paralysed from her eyes to the tips of her toes, being made to breathe via a tracheotomy and a bank of syringe drivers automatically delivering an assortment of high-strength pain relief. A friend comes to visit and I warn her that my daughter is suffering from a bad headache today.

“Oh,” she says, “Have they given her anything for it?”

Both the nurse and I have to look away. Duh!

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:11
His Advice Is Neutral At Best
CANADA, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, MANITOBA, VET, WINNIPEG | HEALTHY | MAY 6, 2019
(We have had our cat, Fritz, since he was a tiny kitten, and he’s always seen the same vet. One day, when Fritz is around eight years old, he starts spraying urine against furniture instead of going in his box. Knowing that this could be a symptom of something serious – besides being annoying and gross – I promptly make an appointment for him to see his vet.)

Vet: “Well, we’ve examined his urine for crystals, and he doesn’t have any. That can mean only one thing.” *stares at me accusingly*

Me: *after an expectant pause* “Yes?”

Vet: “You need to get him neutered. Honestly, I don’t know why you haven’t done so yet. He’s eight years old; he should have been neutered years ago.”

Me: “But–”

Vet: “No, I’m serious. This sort of spraying activity is very common in an unneutered male, and–”

Me: “But he is neutered.”

Vet: “What?”

Me: “In fact, you’re the one who did it. We had it done right after we got him from the Humane Society. It should be in his file.”

Vet: *looks at the start of the file* “Oh.”

Me: “So, something else must be causing this behaviour, right?”

Vet: *still processing the fact that he was wrong about Fritz not being fixed* “Well… are there any new cats in the neighbourhood?”

Me: “Come to think of it, yes. Our neighbour across the back lane just got a new cat. Fritz sometimes sees him through the window and hisses at him.”

Vet: “Well, there you go.” *looks at me triumphantly*

Me: “Um, what do you mean?”

Vet: “Fritz is antagonized by that new cat. He’s spraying to assert his dominance in his own home.”

Me: “Okay, so… What do I do?”

Vet: “Do? There’s nothing you can do. Apart from moving, that is!” *laughs*

(Very helpful. I started looking for a new vet after that.)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:11
Needs A Diagnosis That’s A Breath Of Fresh Air
HOUSTON, JERK, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, TEXAS, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 6, 2019
(I’ve always had asthma, but I usually only have issues when exercising and breathing very cold air. However, I have an event where I can’t identify a trigger and the breathing problems last for a long time. I go to the emergency room, I am told it was a panic attack and I am sent home. When things don’t clear up, I go to the school clinic where they say it’s my asthma – not a spasm like I am used to, but inflammation – and give me medication. Things clear up. Then, less than a month later, I take an overseas trip. On the flight back I catch a fever and start having stomach issues. A few days later I have to switch out with my father when driving because I don’t feel like I can both drive and focus on breathing. Because it is only a little after New Year’s, my mom doesn’t think our GP can fit us in quickly enough, so we head to an emergency clinic. Our new insurance only allows us to go to one chain in the area, and it’s thirty minutes away. There isn’t a doctor available, so we confirm we are fine with seeing the head nurse. I’m used to journaling some aspects of my health due to things like adult-onset allergies, and have written specifics of the start and stop of the symptoms in a notebook, along with details from the other attack. Sometimes I also have difficulty speaking because I’m focusing on my breathing.)

Mom: “She’s been having trouble breathing. We were here a couple of days ago because she had a stomach bug.”

Nurse: “Can you describe when this started?”

Me: “Um, I noticed I had to focus to breathe. I was really aware of my breathing. It started last night, I guess? Um… I wrote it down, if it’s easier.”

(I hand her the notebook. She looks through it, but she looks skeptical.)

Nurse: “Okay, I know what’s going on here. Honey, you’re having a panic attack.”

Me: “I don’t think it’s a panic attack! It happened before around a month ago. I have asthma—“

Nurse: “The emergency guys thought that was a panic attack, too. Listen, I know you don’t want to hear this, but this is in your brain.”

(This sets me off for multiple reasons, one of which being that I DO have anxiety, but it is controlled and not the kind that results in panic attacks. Another reason is that I’ve been misdiagnosed with “stress pains” by my father’s urologist – checking for kidney stones – when we later found out I had some muscle issues in that area that were easily taken care of with physical therapy. I should also note my mother has been making some comments, but I can’t exactly remember them. She’s mostly worried.)

Me: “But the other doctor said it was asthma! I’ve had people dismiss things like this before. But when it was checked out by someone else they found something. I have anxiety, but I don’t get those! I don’t have this problem!”

Nurse: “So, you just keep going to doctors until they say what you want to hear. But I’m telling you, this is a panic attack. You said in your notes that talking is difficult, but you’re talking fine now. You seem fine. You just need to accept this. Maybe call your therapist or psychiatrist.”

(She ends the appointment. I am pretty hysterical once we return home. I have been well functioning for years and even though I don’t believe the nurse, she put the idea in my head that I wasn’t as well off as I thought. I should also note that my mom is of the generation that often writes things off as stress, and she seems to be taking the nurse’s side, or at least playing devil’s advocate, adding to my stress. I blubber to my mom and eventually my psychiatrist’s hotline. [Psychiatrist] quickly writes a prescription for anxiety, but is very firm in telling me that most of her patients don’t end up using it and that often having it in their possession helps. She also says that if I feel I need it to only take half and assess how I feel. Honestly, I don’t feel any different. Later, my mom apologizes that she helped upset me and calls our GP.)

Mom: “[Doctor] made an opening for you tomorrow… Guess what she said, though, when I told her everything that happened.”

Me: “What?”

Mom: “In her experience, asthmatics usually have panic attacks because they can’t f****** breathe.”

(My GP gave me a steroid inhaler and I started breathing better in a few days. I later went to my asthma and allergy doctor and found out that I have a new severe allergy to dust mites, something that aggravates asthma. F*** you, nurse.)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:12
We Are Literally Off The Charts
BIZARRE, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, USA, WISCONSIN | HEALTHY | MAY 6, 2019
(My father is experiencing severe vertigo, to the point where he can’t even crawl. We are in the ER waiting for his turn at the MRI. My dad is a large man with a beard. A doctor we don’t recognize walks into the room and stops short.)

Doctor: “Um…” *looks at his chart, then at Dad, then at my mom and me* “ Mrs. [Wrong Name]?”

Me: “I think you have the wrong room.”

Doctor: “I think you might be right; none of you look like you’re in labor right now.”

(We all laugh with him over his mistake and he leaves. Dad gets his MRI and is wheeled back in while we wait for the results. The same doctor comes in again.)

Doctor: “Let’s try this again, Mr. [Different Wrong Name]?”

Mom: “Nope.”

Doctor: “Nail through the foot?”

Me: “Wrong room again.”

Doctor: “D*** it. How…?”

(He checks the chart in his hands, then runs out and checks the room number.)

Doctor: “Somebody put the wrong room on the chart.”

(He runs off to find his patient. A while later, the ER doctors have run all the tests they can on Dad and still can’t find a cause. They’ve tentatively diagnosed him with a viral infection and have given him instructions for follow-up. Unfortunately, there is a multi-car pile-up and they suddenly get so busy they can’t spare anyone long enough to do the discharge paperwork. We do our best to stay out of the way. The same doctor comes in again, looks at his chart, then face-palms.)

Doctor: “Okay, none of you are a teenage girl with a broken pelvis! What the h***?!”

Mom: “We’re just such fun people that you’re making excuses to come hang out with us!”

Doctor: *laughing* “That must be it! Right!”

(I know he must have been frustrated, but I think he needed the comic relief as much as we did on that stressful night.)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:12
The Family Tree Is Looking A Bit Sickly
BIZARRE, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, MEDICAL OFFICE, MINNESOTA, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 5, 2019
(I’ve got a new doctor and am giving them the rundown on my family history.)

Doctor: “I see on your form that you checked ‘yes’ to all the diseases we have listed. They all run in your family?”

Me: “Yes. I have a very large family and at least one of them has or had at least one of those diseases.”

Doctor: “Even [rare cancer]?”

Me: “Grandma died of it.”

Doctor: “Huh. Who in your family had [disease]?”

Me: “Two of my great aunts on my dad’s side, and my uncle on my mother’s side.”

Doctor: “And your family’s history of cancer… says ‘all’?”

Me: “Doctors never really believe me, but all the cancers you have listed there? Yeah, when I add up my mother’s side of the family and my father’s side, it’s all there.”

Doctor: *open-mouthed shock* “Wow.”

Me: “I get that reaction from doctors a lot.”

(For reference, my grandmother was one of nine kids, my other grandmother was one of eleven, and all of their kids had at least five kids. It’s a big family, and they’ve all had some kind of major medical issue in the past, and most of them work in the medical field. I just tell doctors to check everything when they ask what runs in the family. It saves time.)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:13
Some People Just Can’t Stick Around
BAD BEHAVIOR, BLOOD DONATION, JERK, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 4, 2019
(I’m a frequent blood donor. I have large, easy veins, don’t flinch or get queasy around blood or needles, and am known at the clinic, so I often get the least experienced workers. Sometimes the new, nervous ones aren’t the best, but I figure practice makes perfect, and their mistakes — like not being gentle or having a bad angle on the needle — don’t bother me. Usually.)

Tech: “Hi. I’m [Tech] and I’m going to be drawing your blood today.” *continues with the standard script and questions* “Have you donated blood with us before?”

Me: “A few dozen times; I’m here every eight weeks on the dot. How long have you been at [Clinic]?”

Tech: “Today is my first day!”

Me: “Well, congratulations! I’ll make your job really easy, then. I’m well hydrated and have nice, big veins for you.”

(The tech starts prepping the bag and needle, muttering the steps to herself. She somehow manages to poke herself with the needle.)

Tech: “Oh, shoot, I need to go and dispose of this and reglove.”

Me: “No worries. I’m in no rush. Take your time.”

(The tech comes back, looking slightly pale and panicked. I try to smile at her, but she just seems to be getting progressively more flustered. She tries to stick my vein and misses.)

Tech: “Oh, I’m so sorry. Can I try again?”

Me: *smiling again* “Of course, take a few deep breaths and try again.”

(The tech tries again. And again. Then, she drops the needle and has to get another other. The whole time, I’m trying to calm her down as she seems to be upset with herself.)

Me: “Now, I know I’m not officially trained, but I’ve had a lot of needles stuck in me. Slow down a bit. Breath deeply a few times. The vein is right there. You can do this.”

Tech: *mutters quietly but rapidly under her breath while getting paler*

(She tries to stick me three more times, somehow missing my vein every time. Her hands are shaking and she appears on the verge of tears.)

Me: “Hey, it’s okay. This is a tough job. Why don’t we call over one of the more experienced nurses?”

Tech: “No, no, no, I can do this. Really.”

(She proceeds to stick me five more times, at worse and worse angles. I’m slowly losing patience with her. She’s now trying to stick me with a needle that is practically perpendicular to my arm. She still hasn’t been able to actually hit my vein. What is usually a twenty-minute deal has taken almost an hour.)

Me: “Okay. Get a nurse now. They can help you out.”

Tech: “No!”

(She then rather aggressively jams the needle into my arm, hitting a nerve and nowhere near a vein. I swear like a sailor and rip the needle out of my arm.)

Me: “Listen up. I have been beyond patient here. Get me a d*** nurse. Now.”

Tech: “They’re all busy right now!”

Me: “Okay, fine. F*** it.”

(I then insert the needle into my own vein in one go. The tech looks stunned.)

Me: “Hook up the collection bag and then get me a nurse and get the h*** away from me.”

Tech: *in a shrill voice* “You can’t do that! You can’t! You can’t!”

(The head nurse hears the commotion and comes over.)

Nurse: “What is going on over here? [My Name], why are you still here? I checked you in an hour ago!”

Me: “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, [Nurse].”

(The tech was never seen at that clinic again.)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:13
Groundhog Dad
CALIFORNIA, HEALTH & BODY, HOSPITAL, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 3, 2019
(My boyfriend and I are woken up by a phone call at six am from his 15-year-old sister saying, “Something is wrong with Dad; you need to get to the hospital.” We live 100 miles away, so I tell my boyfriend to go now and I will pack a few things and meet him up there. When I get up there I find out he has hydrocephalus, or water on the brain, which is a fairly rare disorder that typically happens to infants and people over 60. My boyfriend’s father is 47. It causes fluid to build up and put pressure on the brain. They release the pressure by removing parts of his skull. The next day, a nurse is in with him and my boyfriend’s mom comes out to talk to us.)

Mom: “They think he’s going to be okay, but right now we either have to sit with him or they have to restrain him. Otherwise, he might hurt himself; he can’t remember what is going on. Can you go sit with him for a while? I need a break.”

(We agree and go in.)

Boyfriend: “Hi, Dad!”

Dad: “Hi… Where am I?”

Boyfriend: “You’re in the hospital; you’re going to be fine. You just got sick and the doctors are going to help you.”

Dad: “Well, that was mighty inconvenient of me.”

Boyfriend: *laughing* “Just a touch.”

(My boyfriend’s father’s head starts to dip and his eyes slide to the side and become unfocused. Then, his head comes back up and he sees us and smiles.)

Dad: “Hi, guys! What are you doing here? Wait. Where am I?”

Boyfriend: *trying not to cry* “Hi, Dad. You’re in the hospital; you’re going to be fine.”

Dad: *laughing* “Well, that was mighty inconvenient of me.”

(Then, his head starts to dip. My boyfriend and I look at each other, both of us trying not to cry.)

Dad: “Hi, guys! What are you doing here?”

(I step over to his bed and take his hand.)

Me: “Hi, Dad. You had a small accident you’re going to be fine.”

(We stayed with him for a couple of hours having the same conversation. I had seen short-term memory loss on TV but thought it was an exaggeration. It’s not. Thankfully, he really was, overall, okay.)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:13
Talking Complete Bull-imia
CHILE, DENTIST, JERK, SANTIAGO | HEALTHY | MAY 3, 2019
(I have recently changed my dentist. I’m 30 and I have never had any cavities before, but I go to a consult since I notice something weird in two of my teeth. I suspect they are cavities but they don’t hurt or bother me at all, and I don’t know what cavities look like.)

Dentist: “You have four cavities! What a disaster!”

Me: “Well, it’s the first four in 30 years.”

Dentist: “This looks so bad! We need x-rays!”

Me: “I’d have come earlier but they didn’t hurt and they look very small, so it took me a while to notice them.”

Dentist: “Four cavities! This is insane! Are you bulimic?”

Me: “No.”

Dentist: “You sure? It clearly looks like bulimia.”

Me: “I’m not bulimic. I’m not alcohol abusive, either; I barely ever throw up.”

(The doctor doesn’t believe me, and sends me to do the x-rays. I come back to have the cavities fixed.)

Dentist: “Are you sure you don’t throw up? This amount of cavities is not normal!”

(By then, I feel filthy. I don’t throw up and I brush my teeth, but the big deal she is making makes it look like I am her worst case in years. She fixes my cavities, which are all very superficial, and I go home pretty worried and thinking about buying a different mouthwash, toothbrush, and toothpaste. My boyfriend is having some friends over and I tell them what happened.)

Friend: “Four in your life? I get four cavities removed every time I go to the dentist!”

Boyfriend: “You can’t see them because they are in the back of my mouth, but I’ve had several big fixes.”

(The following day, two of my four fixes fall out while I’m brushing my teeth. I go to have them re-fixed. The dentist keeps telling me to suck it up, still implying I have an eating disorder. The remaining two fall out within a month, but this time I go to a different professional. I’m already expecting to get yelled at for my poor dental condition.)

Dentist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Hi, darling! You look good! Let’s fix these, shall we?”

(She is now my usual dentist.)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:14
Eye Don’t Understand What’s Happening Here
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, JERK, KENTUCKY, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 3, 2019
(I wear contacts, and I’ve had problems seeing when using my contacts for a while now. It has finally gotten to the point where I can’t stand it and go to the eye doctor to get my prescription checked. A student does the actual exam and finds my new prescription, and I can already tell a difference. She leaves and the actual doctor comes in.)

Doctor: *takes a look at the paperwork the student completed* “Well, it looks like your prescription stayed the same, so you can just order some more of the same contacts.”

Me: *shocked* “Really? I’ve been having double vision and I can’t focus my eyes at a close range very well.”

Doctor: “Nope, it’s the same. Are you sure you’re having problems?”

Me: “Yes, I’ve also been getting headaches from straining my eyes to focus.”

Doctor: *repeats the exam TWICE to find my eye prescription* “Well, I found the same thing she did, which is a slight decrease in prescription in your right eye. This is very unusual since eyesight doesn’t normally get better with time, so I think your prescription should stay the same.”

(We go back and forth a few times; I keep insisting that I need a change. It’s very unusual for me to advocate for myself this much, but I really can’t take the eye strain anymore so I KNOW I can’t stay with the same prescription. He finally agrees to let me try the lower prescription on a trial and come back in two weeks to see how I like it. The trial contacts have to be ordered by the receptionist, and I notice the doctor go around and point to the screen and tell her to “order these instead,” but I don’t think anything of it. I go back in a week when they come in. The receptionist hands me the trial contacts and I have a look at the prescription number.)

Me: *confused and irritated look on my face*

Receptionist: “Is something wrong? You look confused.”

Me: “These are supposed to be trial contacts for a new prescription. Why are they the same as my current contacts?”

Receptionist: *takes the contacts back, looks at her computer and back at the contacts, and starts getting flustered* “Um, I don’t know. Let me look at this…”

(She eventually got a different doctor in the practice to come to look at my file. The other doctor took one look at my file, immediately went to get me the correct contacts — which DIDN’T have to be ordered — and told me to come back and see her instead of the first doctor. At my appointment with her, she told me that my prescription should actually be even lower than the first doctor prescribed. The only conclusion I can come up with is that the first doctor didn’t believe me and was trying to trick me into staying with the same prescription, twice! [Doctor], why was it so hard for you to believe I couldn’t see?!)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:15
A Shot Of Humanity
AWESOME, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 2, 2019
(I have a serious phobia of needles due to a traumatic incident when I was a child, and because of this I always need someone present with me to cope with the situation. I am due to have very minor surgery on my arm, but I will need two needles during the operation. My boyfriend schedules off to go with me, but on the day of, he is called into work. I can’t cancel or I will incur a large fee, so I decide to tough it out and go. When I am called into the room, the nurse starts asking me questions, and I let her know that I have a phobia of needles. As soon as she leaves the room I enter into hysterics. I end up calling a friend, and he calms me down by the time the doctor returns with the nurse. They keep my friend on speaker, the nurse holds my hand, and they all keep me laughing so much I don’t have time to cry. These are just some of my favorite moments from the hour-long procedure.)

Doctor: “You’re telling me you’re getting birth control, but you’re afraid of a little prick?”

(Another moment…)

Friend: “You still alive over there?”

Me: “I sure hope so. Is everything going all right?”

Doctor: “Oh, you’ll know something’s wrong when you hear me walk out the door saying, ‘I am not dealing with that paperwork today.’”

(Another moment…)

Me: *to nurse* “Is it really bad?”

Nurse: “Don’t ask me, I’m not looking! Why do you think I need to hold your hand?!”

(Another moment…)

Me: “Thank you so much for being so nice to me. I know, as an adult, I should be able to handle this all by now. I know it’s not logical; I just work myself up and go into hysterics.”

Doctor: “And while you were in the room with me, you didn’t cry once. Sometimes it’s not your fault that you’re scared. Sometimes it’s the fault of the people around you for not knowing how to make you feel safe.”

(I can’t thank those three enough for not only making a terrible experience into a great memory, but for helping relieve some of the self-hatred I had due to my phobia. If I ever need a shot again, I know exactly where I want to go!)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:15
Bringing Your Emergency To The Emergency Room
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, MEDICAL OFFICE, NON-DIALOGUE, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 2, 2019
A standard practice in the US is for pharmacies to call physicians for refills on prescriptions, not patients. If there are issues with getting refills, the physician’s office will contact the patient for a visit.

I’m currently seeing a new physician who I’m not happy with, but the waitlist is two months long to see a different doctor. I’ve found that this doctor doesn’t listen and doesn’t seem to take mental health issues seriously. She tried to switch my medications — without telling me — despite the fact that I’ve been stable on this medication for over five years. She also accused me of faking foot pain, despite evidence that I had an untreated break in my foot two years ago which didn’t heal well, and tried to convince me to get unnecessarily invasive tests at a specialist clinic for no reason. She also made me get tested for Hepatitis and HIV because I have tattoos — which are all over a year old — even though I just had those tests done two months prior as part of my regular checkup with my old doctor, which was in my medical record.

I’m on a mental health medication known for terrible withdrawal symptoms after just one missed dose. It’s very important that I take it every single day. I notice that I am out of refills, so I notify my pharmacy and they send out a refill request. It is denied because I still have a month left. I have the pharmacy send in another refill request two weeks later. The doctor doesn’t respond. The pharmacy contacts me, saying there were some issues and they can’t get a refill. I call my doctor’s office. They say they will have my doctor send in a refill that day. Still no refill and no request for an appointment. I call again two days later, still nothing. I now have less than a week left. I call every day for the rest of the week, still nothing. On Saturday morning, I’m tired and scared because I’m out of medication and don’t have any refills. I decide to go to the ER because it’s the closest place open on a weekend; there are two urgent care centers but one isn’t open on weekends and the other doesn’t have someone who can write prescriptions working that day.

I go into the ER and explain my issue. I’m clearly not having an emergency, but thankfully there are no other patients that morning and they’re able to write me a one-week prescription and send me on my way in under thirty minutes. While I’m at the ER, I’m clearly frustrated but grateful for the lovely doctor and nurse who are assisting me. The nurse gives me a giant hug and a chocolate muffin from the break room, and both the doctor and the nurse file a report against my doctor.

Monday morning at eight am, I get a call from my doctor’s boss. She saw on my chart that I had an ER visit for the sole purpose of getting a medication refill and wanted to know why. I explained the situation, and also mentioned being worried that I couldn’t afford an ER bill because emergency room visits aren’t covered under my insurance if they’re not considered an actual emergency, such as a broken limb.

A few days later, I check my insurance claims to see what my ER bill is going to be, expecting a bill of at least $2,000 out-of-pocket. My entire ER bill has been comped, as well as my past visits with the terrible doctor. I end up paying $0 for the entire debacle. I also get a three-month refill instead of one month, and it is also comped instead of the usual $45 per month.

I have since found a new physician, but at the same clinic because they went so far above and beyond to correct one doctor’s mistakes.

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:15
Has A Bad Ring(worm) To It
BAD BEHAVIOR, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, MEDICAL OFFICE, NON-DIALOGUE, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 2, 2019
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

When I was very young, my family lived in a rural area where we only had access to one clinic that took our health insurance. While we could have driven into the city — about three hours — if there had ever been a situation that the clinic couldn’t handle or if we’d needed a special consultation, for the most part, my parents stuck with the local clinic. The clinic was very small; I don’t believe that there were ever more than four doctors on staff, and most of them were not there full time. Although the clinic tried to hire doctors who practiced family medicine — so they could see all ages of patients — there was one pediatrician on staff, and because of this, my brother and I were just automatically sent to him, as were most kids in our area. He often rushed through appointments and was impatient when my parents had questions, although since my brother and I were generally healthy kids, our family didn’t have too many issues with him… until I was four.

When I was four, I developed a strange rash on my neck, back, and legs. My mom took me to the clinic, where the pediatrician took one look and said that I had ringworm. He prescribed a salve, an oral antifungal medication, and an antifungal shampoo, since the rash on my neck was near my hairline and ringworm can cause permanent hair loss if it develops on your scalp. I was on the medication for over a month before the symptoms subsided, and we thought that it was over… until I had another rash a few months after that. And a few months after that. The doctor kept prescribing the same regime every time. I was miserable because the oral medication messed up my stomach, and my parents were driving themselves crazy trying to sanitize anything that I ever came into contact with to hopefully prevent a recurrence and to avoid my brother getting infected.

This happened about four times over the course of two years; although my parents asked if there could possibly be something else going on, since ringworm is not supposed to be a chronic condition, the doctor blew them off every time and essentially told them not to question his authority, since he’d gone to school for this and they hadn’t. He was very condescending, and when my parents asked for advice, he’d just repeat stuff about hygiene and washing up. My parents had actually just decided to take me into the city for a second opinion if I had another rash when the usual doctor stepped down and we got a new one.

My parents brought my brother and me in for our flu shots, and the new doctor noticed the beginnings of the rash on my arm. He asked my parents about it, and they told him that they weren’t interested in putting me on the same antifungals since they clearly weren’t working and were just making me miserable. He was confused and asked why I’d be on antifungals for eczema. A couple of quick tests confirmed that he was correct, that I definitely didn’t have ringworm, and instead of multiple infections, I had one condition that flared up every few months. I got a prescription for an anti-inflammatory cream, and the doctor suggested that my mom change our laundry detergent, and then the rash was handled. But that wasn’t the end of the story.

The new doctor checked my file and confirmed that the old doctor hadn’t done any testing to diagnose me the first time — no black-light test, no biopsies or cultures, nothing — and had just marked that it visually presented as ringworm. Each subsequent time I came in, the old doctor stuck to that rather than reassess. After that, my parents requested a copy of my file, and then saw the notes that the old doctor had made, which basically amounted to him complaining about working with dirty, poor, uneducated families who couldn’t keep their kids clean. He hadn’t bothered to do any further testing when my parents told him that they’d complied with all his suggestions for how to make sure that I didn’t catch “ringworm” again, because he just assumed that anyone who lived in our rural area must be a dumb, ignorant hick who couldn’t really value hygiene.

My parents were furious. We later learned that he had been asked to step down from his position in the clinic precisely because he’d had this attitude with most of the families who came into the clinic, and had said as much to one of the nurses, not realizing that a patient had overheard. One of the things he must not have realized about smaller communities like ours is that word spreads like wildfire. Dozens of families were suddenly requesting records for their children, and people found multiple stories like mine where the pediatrician diagnosed without testing, or made assumptions about families that impacted the way he handled their treatment. There was a community-wide effort to send complaints to the state medical board. I know that there was at least one successful lawsuit against him, and last I heard, that pediatrician’s license to practice medicine was revoked.

Meanwhile, our new doctor treated my eczema, saved my brother’s life during an allergic reaction, became a hero in our community for doing house calls, and has received state-wide recognition for being willing to go above and beyond for his patients.

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:16
Your Strong Opinion Is Not Strong Enough
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HAWAII, HONOLULU, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 1, 2019
(My one-and-a-half-year-old needs a TB test — for the curious, it turns out negative. She’s always been very strong, and I know it’s going to be tricky to get her to hold still for the jab, so I offer to help the technician.)

Me: “She’s pretty strong; would you like me to help hold her?”

Tech: *eyes rolling and voice dripping with sarcasm* “I’m just sure she is. Every parent says that.”

Me: *stepping back* “Okay, have fun.”

(For the next few minutes, the tech finds himself unable to do the quick little jab because my daughter is able to fight him off. Finally, he admits defeat.)

Tech: “Could you hold her, please?”

Me: *sickly sweet* “I’d be happy to.”

(I wrapped my arms and legs around her tightly, and it was still a struggle, but the tech administered the test. If he’d just humored me instead of being condescending, it would have been much easier for him!)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:16
Putting The Lying Into Lying Down
BAD BEHAVIOR, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, USA, UTAH | HEALTHY | MAY 1, 2019
(I have epilepsy and have had several partial-complex seizures. I have been delivered by ambulance to the city hospital; unfortunately, the neurologist on call is one who I stopped seeing when he accused me of faking seizures in order to get attention, possibly because he is friendly with the neurologist who molested me when I was a teen.)

ER Nurse: “Her ID says she has epilepsy. We need to make sure she’s had her medication today.”

Neurologist: “There’s no need. She’s just being dramatic.” *to me* “[My Name]! Stop trying to make everyone feel sorry for you.” *to the nurse* “Give her some [anxiety medication]. She’ll tell you it gives her panic attacks; she’s a chronic liar. Just do it.”

(I am not sure what happens next, but I wake up in the darkened room alone. Confused and sick, I throw up in a trash bin and wander down an empty hall until I find an exit. I remember walking blankly until I find a street sign, then calling my sister and asking her to pick me up. About an hour later, I am home in bed when the phone rings and my mother answers.)

Caller: “This is [Caller] from [Hospital]. Your daughter was here earlier today. She isn’t currently in the room and hasn’t been seen in a few hours; would you like us to begin looking for her?”

Mother: “She’s with us now, and safe, no thanks to you.”

Caller: “Oh, okay. When can she come in to give us her billing information?”

(I did go back, with my parents… and a lawyer. He suggested that charging me for improper treatment that I had never consented to, and had been harmed by, might not be in their best interest. They dropped the bill. They also sent my mother flowers, which was weird.)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:17
“Purely” Obnoxious
BAD BEHAVIOR, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, ILLINOIS, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA | HEALTHY | MAY 1, 2019
(I have been battling a lot of stomach pain and bloating. One day, it becomes unbearable. My regular doctor’s office is closed, so I go to Urgent Care. The doctor comes in and asks what my symptoms are. I’ve just finished describing them to her.)

Doctor: “And is there any chance you’re pregnant?”

Me: *laughs* “Nope. No chance.”

Doctor: “Don’t laugh, young lady. It’s a normal diagnosis for a young lady in her 20s.”

Me: “I understand that. But if I’m pregnant, you’d better start looking for a star, three wise men, and some shepherds.”

(I’ve used this joke with my regular doctor and my OBGYN, and they both laughed. This doctor, however, frowns and folds her arms.)

Doctor: “Uh-huh. Your chart says you’re on birth control. Tell me, what does a ‘virgin’ need birth control for?”

(Yes, she actually air-quotes “virgin” with her fingers. I explode.)

Me: “Because I have severe period problems, and I can’t afford to be in bed for two weeks a month with cramps and migraines! Not everyone who is on birth control does it so they can have sex! Way to assume things, though. Do you do this to all your female patients?”

Doctor: “Um… Let’s just check your stomach, shall we?”

Me: “Yes, please!”

(As she’s examining me:)

Doctor: “Ah… I think it’s really admirable to see a young lady in her 20s who is still… pure.”

Me: “Don’t try to make this better.”

Doctor: “Sorry.”

(She announced that she had no idea what I had, and sent me home with an antibiotic. I didn’t take it. I called my regular doctor when the office reopened. He ordered a bunch of tests. It was determined later that I had a nasty case of IBS.)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:17
Vape Escape
ENGLAND, HAMPSHIRE, HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NON-DIALOGUE, NURSES, UK | HEALTHY | APRIL 30, 2019
After getting mugged, which involved several kicks to the head, I came to in A&E a bit concussed but otherwise okay-ish.

I had been out for a few hours, and as a smoker, my nicotine levels were way down. I asked if I could use my vape as I’m allergic to the glue they use on most of the commercial patches. The answer was that an anti-allergenic patch would be provided. I ask what specific brand it is, as I am severely allergic to some.

A tech turns up and tapes a patch to my arm, complaining that this brand is awful for staying on.

It is ninety seconds from patch to, “Oops, we stopped your heart as part of the massive response to what you told us not to do.”

I’m now allowed to vape in bed if I can keep it discreet, or I can go down to a vape spot if there’s a nurse or someone willing to go with me. Given that half the medical staff are smokers, I’m proving popular.

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:18
When It’s The Healthcare That Gives Us The Blood Pressure
INSURANCE, NEW JERSEY, NON-DIALOGUE, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 30, 2019
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

For an assortment of reasons, my husband has been unemployed for a while, outside of extremely short temp work and off-the-book odd jobs. For a while he has been having random symptoms: foot and ankle pain, shortness of breath after exertion — more than normal — and lower back pain. All together, they don’t seem to add up to anything aside from random aches and pains, they never stick around long, and without insurance, he can’t afford to see a doctor properly, so he just treats with aspirin and the like.

Finally, it happens: the Affordable Care Act is passed. He signs up and gets real health insurance for the first time in a decade. He’s assigned a primary care physician and we call to set up an appointment. No answer. We try again, and again, and again, at both the number listed on the insurance site and on their individual site. We never get an answer; we never even get voicemail. After a bit more than a month of this, he’s feeling ill; the local EMO doesn’t take the medicare-based version of his insurance, so we head to the hospital ER right down the street. He apologizes for coming for such a minor thing but we don’t have any other options at the time. They say it’s fine and after a wait, they take his vitals… and they immediately wheel him into the observation room. We’re trying desperately to get some actual information from the first nurse bringing him in, or the second nurse coming to hook him up to all their monitors.

Finally, a full doctor comes in and starts asking questions, but we interrupt and ask, specifically, why they are doing all this. She shows us the blood pressure monitor: 220/120. His BP has always been high, especially at the doctor’s/hospital because of “white coat syndrome,” but never that high! Somehow he never actually had a heart attack or stroke over the past several months, but that unrestrained pressure did a lot of damage to his kidneys. My husband is in the hospital for about ten days — although he was originally going to get out in six, one batch of test results gets messed up and they can’t run it again until the following Monday. When he leaves, he is on a prescription for about eight different heart and blood pressure medications, two of which are quickly dropped and two others cut in half once he gets home and can relax!

The bad news is that, because of the level of damage his kidneys have suffered, my husband’s on the verge of needing to go on the transplant list. The good news is that his heart has made a near-complete recovery, his prescriptions have been cut down further, and his kidney functions have actually improved to a point where he’s no longer hovering on the verge of failure!

And that’s why we say to this day, with no irony: thanks, Obama!

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:18
Sick As A Dog
ALBERTA, CANADA, EMPLOYEES, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, RECEPTION, VET | HEALTHY | APRIL 30, 2019
(My roommate works outside of the city, about an hour’s drive away. She decides that she wants to get a dog, and the other two roommates and I agree to help take care of it during the day when she’s away. On Monday, the dog is having some stomach trouble. We watch her closely but determine that she needs to go to the vet on Wednesday. My roommate contacts the vet to let them know that I will be bringing the dog by. I drop the dog off, and then return a few hours later when called to pick her up.)

Me: “Hello, I’m here to pick up [Dog] on behalf of [Roommate].”

Front Desk: “Great! She’ll need to take these pills for nausea.” *hands me the pills, and brings the dog out on a leash*

Me: “Has she had the pill for today? Is there anything I can or cannot feed it to her with?”

Front Desk: “I didn’t handle her case; let me get the vet.” *goes to the back, then returns a few minutes later* “I’m sorry, but the vet is with another patient right now. I’ll pull up her file, instead.” *pulls up the file on the computer* “It says that you need to keep an eye on her.”

Me: “What do you mean by ‘keep an eye on her’? What do I need to watch for? And does it say anything about the pill or the foods she shouldn’t have?”

Front Desk: “I can’t tell you that for privacy reasons. The vet has contacted your roommate; you’ll need to talk to her.”

Me: “My roommate is at work right now and might not be able to respond to calls or texts for a few hours. Could you at least let me know what I need to watch for over the next four hours until she’s home?”

Front Desk: “I can’t tell you about anything else on her file for privacy reasons.”

(Frustrated, I take the dog and start walking to my car. I realize that I have no way of knowing if she’ll be able to handle the ride home without an accident, as the vet hasn’t given me any information about what’s wrong or what they’ve given the dog. I turn around, go back into the clinic, and hand the leash back to the woman at the front desk.)

Me: “Here’s [Dog] back. Without knowing any more than I did when I brought her here, I don’t feel comfortable taking her home. I don’t know what she’s had, how to care for her, or what will happen when we get home. Frankly, I don’t know why you’re even releasing her to me if you don’t feel that I have the right to that information. You’ll need to contact [Roommate] to come and get her, if you can get a hold of her at work.”

(I texted my roommate to give her a heads up about the situation, including the name of the woman that I had dealt with at the front desk. Thankfully, she felt I’d made the right move leaving the dog at the clinic and was able to pick her up after work. She also contacted the clinic to express her anger about how they had handled everything, and had my name along with our other roommates’ added to the account.)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:18
Your Diagnosis Is Broken
DENMARK, HEALTH & BODY, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, PATIENTS, SCHOOL, TEACHERS | HEALTHY | APRIL 29, 2019
(I have a fall during gym class when I am about ten years old. Because I have pretty brittle bones and very weak joints — but apparently not enough to warrant getting any kind of diagnosis — I instantly know that I have broken my arm. The fall was pretty minor; I was just running on the soft grass and fell down. I am crying and trying to explain to my teacher that I believe my arm to be broken.)

Me: “My arm hurts. I think it’s broken.”

Teacher: “It isn’t. You can’t break your arm from something so minor.”

(I explain that I have broken many bones before and that I know the feeling of a broken bone. I can tell she still doesn’t believe me, but she does send me down to the office. She doesn’t send anyone with me, though. I walk down there alone and crying, while my arm is swelling more and more. When I get to the office, I try to explain what happened to the secretary.)

Secretary: “Oh, no, what happened to you?”

Me: “I think I broke my arm. I fell out in the field while doing a running exercise.”

Secretary: “You didn’t fall from anything?”

Me: “No.”

Secretary: “It’s not broken, then. I’ll give you some ice for the arm, and then you’ll be better in no time!”

(I put the ice pack on my arm, but it still hurts. I sit and cry silently for about ten minutes in the corner. Even though I am normally very shy and not a fan of conflicts, I am also in a lot of pain. I approach the secretary again.)

Me: “Look. My arm really, really hurts, and the ice pack isn’t cold anymore. Would you please just call my mum?”

Secretary: “Fine! But your arm isn’t broken.”

(Neither of my parents answered their phones. I continued to sit and cry quietly while the secretary sent me sour looks. She finally got through to my dad, but he was delivering merchandise two hours away. My mum worked at another school pretty close to mine, so my dad suggested that the secretary should try to call my mum’s school. The secretary called my mum’s school and had their secretary fetch my mum. Over an hour had passed since I’d hurt my arm, but my mum obviously knew about my brittle bones and came to take me to the hospital within ten minutes of getting the call. My arm was, indeed, broken. When I told my mum of how my teacher and the secretary handled the situation, she was livid. Even though I was supposed to take a few days off after breaking my arm, my mum dragged me down to the principal next morning with my arm in a cast and sling. I told him my story, too, and both the teacher and the secretary got a stern talking-to about how to handle injured students and were asked to apologise to me. They did, and I hope they learnt something about listening to their students regarding their health. Never assume you know somebody’s body better than they do.)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:19
The Worst Possible Flea-ting Moment
CALIFORNIA, JERK, USA, VET | HEALTHY | APRIL 29, 2019
(I have a cocker spaniel with a lot of allergies and a skin condition that makes her very itchy. Her regular vet prescribes allergy shots for her. A few times we don’t get to see him but a newly-graduated vet who is working there temporarily. All she does every appointment is to try to refer us to specialists. She does this so much that we are starting to think she is getting kickbacks from them. One time, we get her when we are there for my dog’s allergy shot.)

Vet: “She’s just itchy because she has fleas.”

Mom & Me: “No, she doesn’t.”

Me: “I just checked her this morning. No fleas. And she’s had a bath.”

Vet: *rolling her eyes* “It’s just fleas. She doesn’t need an allergy shot.”

Mom: “Dr. [Regular Vet] prescribed them. We want her allergy shot.”

(We watch as a flea crawling on the vet herself jumps from her to my dog. The vet only sees the flea now.)

Vet: “I told you she had fleas!”

Mom: “We saw that flea crawling on you! Now, we want her allergy shot.”

(The vet continued to argue and tried once again to send us to a specialist, but we finally got the shot, only after a lot of huffing. Mom complained to the regular vet as soon as he was free and told him how this one was always trying to send us to specialists. He seemed rather angry with her when he heard this. We never saw her there again.)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:19
Not Willing To Billing
EDITORS' CHOICE, EMPLOYEES, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, INSURANCE, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 29, 2019
(I have medications being filled on a 30-day supply. My insurance company requires me to call every month and verify that I do need the medicine and that my health panel — age, weight, allergies, etc. — is up to date. I made my call earlier this month, letting them know that I would be on vacation when the medications were scheduled to be delivered and asked if they would deliver without requiring a signature. The representative said it was fine and told me that my medicine would arrive while I was gone. I asked my sister to check on the house while I was gone, specifically mentioning the delivery and the rough timeline I was given. When I come home, she tells me that there have been no deliveries. I call my insurance company again.)

Representative #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “[Insurance], this is [Rep #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] speaking. Can I have your name and policy number, please?”

Me: “Hi, my name is [My Name]; my policy number is [number].”

Representative #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Okay, I have your account here. How can I help you?”

Me: “I was supposed to have some medicine delivered, but nothing has arrived.”

Representative #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Okay, I see here that we attempted to deliver on [date] but there was no one home to sign.”

Me: “I was told I could opt out of the signature because I was out of town.”

Representative #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “No.”

Me: “…”

Representative #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “…”

Me: “Can I get a new delivery scheduled?”

Representative #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “I can add you on today’s shipment and overnight the medication to you at no additional cost.”

Me: “That’s great!”

Representative #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Okay, I just have to verify your info.” *we go through the same questions I answer every month* “Everything looks good. This will go out today for delivery tomorrow, with a signature required.”

Me: “Thank you!”

(The next day, I’m home all day and nothing comes. Since our package deliveries can come as late as nine pm, I’m stuck waiting all day before I can call back. The day after my delivery was to arrive, I call again. I get a different representative.)

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “[Insurance], this is [Rep #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] speaking. Name and policy number?”

Me: “[My Name], [policy number].”

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Thank you, [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Me: “I spoke with [Representative #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] two days ago and was told I would have my medications delivered yesterday but nothing came.”

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Oh, I’m sorry about that. I see here that you tried to order [medication] on [date before vacation] and we tried to deliver but there was no one to sign.”

Me: “Yes. And I called again and was told it would be here yesterday.”

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “I’m not showing anything like that but we can ship– Oh, wait. There’s a hold on your account for unpaid copays.”

Me: “Unpaid copays? I’ve never received a bill.”

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “You should have received… two.”

Me: “I don’t think I did. Why was I not told of this hold when I called two days ago?”

(I open my online account to see past bills. There is nothing.)

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “I’m not sure, ma’am. I only see a bill for $243 that needs to be paid.”

Me: “I’m confused. I’ve met my out of pocket deductibles. What is the bill for?”

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “One moment, I can look that up for you.” *hold music* “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m having trouble finding the specific bill.”

Me: “…”

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “…”

Me: “So… what now?”

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “If you want to pay in full, I can have your order shipped as early as tomorrow.”

Me: “Um… I don’t even know why I’m paying.”

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “They’re unpaid copays.”

Me: “I’m looking at my online account and there’s nothing like that. How do I suddenly owe that much money?”

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Oh. Um. Hold, please.” *hold music* “Thank you for holding, ma’am. My supervisor is looking into this further. Unfortunately, we cannot authorize your medications until you pay your balance. I can take your credit card info—“

Me: “I’m not paying anything until I have an itemized bill.”

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *huffs* “Hold.” *hold music* “Okay, ma’am, I’ve talked with my supervisor. Your balance is $243. Will that be card or check?”

Me: “That will be nothing until you tell me why I’m paying.”

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *huffs again* “Ma’am. I am trying to work with you here. You owe copays. We cannot fill your prescriptions until you pay in full.”

Me: “And I will happily pay as soon as someone can tell me why I’m paying. I’m looking at my history right now. Not only is there nothing with a copay for the past six months, but all other bills are marked as paid.”

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *clearly annoyed* “Would you like to speak to my supervisor, ma’am?”

Me: “Yes, I would.”

(Hold music.)

Supervisor: “Hello, [My Name]? I’m told you would like to speak to a supervisor. I’m [Supervisor].”

Me: “Yes, thank you. I called almost two weeks ago to have meds delivered. There was a miscommunication and they were not delivered. I called two days ago to have the same meds delivered as of yesterday, but they weren’t. I called today and found that I owe money and [Insurance Company] is withholding my medications until I pay. Nothing in my records shows any unpaid copay, so please tell me what is going on here.”

Supervisor: “I apologize for the inconvenience. Please be patient with me while I look into this further. Can I put you on hold?”

Me: *thinly veiled annoyance* “Yes.”

Supervisor: “Thank you.” *hold music* “Hmm. Ma’am, I apologize. I see the bill, but I’m not finding anything that it could be linked to. Unfortunately, I cannot authorize your prescription to be refilled until this bill is paid.”

Me: “Let me get this straight: your records show that I owe money. Yes?”

Supervisor: “Yes.”

Me: “You will not send my medication until I pay this bill. Correct?”

Supervisor: *uneasy* “Correct…”

Me: “But when I ask why you want me to pay, no one can tell me why. Am I wrong?”

Supervisor: “No, ma’am, you are not wrong.”

Me: “Can you see why I’m annoyed?”

Supervisor: “Yes. Please let me put you on hold one last time.”

Me: “No.”

Supervisor: “Ma’am?”

Me: “I will not be put on hold again. This phone call is already over an hour long. If you cannot tell me why I owe this money, I can only assume it’s a mistake on your end and I’m being billed for someone else’s medication or—“

Supervisor: “We are very thorough in our billing process and—“

Me: “—OR someone is committing insurance fraud and I’ll have to hire a lawyer to get this resolved.”

Supervisor: *panicked* “Um. No, no, that won’t be necessary.” *clicking keyboard* “I will see to it that your medication is shipped out today and I will put an override on the unpaid bill. I will continue to research this and get back to you as soon as I know what is going on. Is your number [phone number]?”

Me: “Yes, it is. Thank you.”

Supervisor: “Thank you, ma’am. Enjoy the rest of your day.”

(My medication was delivered the next day and yes, I signed for it. It’s been two weeks and I still haven’t heard anything about my mystery bill. I guess I’ll have to wait and see what happens when I call for my next refill!)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:19
Behind Every Man Is A Wife Trying To Keep Him Alive
HOSPITAL, PATIENTS, SPOUSES & PARTNERS, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 28, 2019
(One of our patients is a very stubborn gentleman who has broken his hip. He thinks he can get out of bed without help, but he can’t. We instruct him to use his call light but he continues to get out of bed alone. We’re worried he’s going to fall, so we put him on a bed alarm which will automatically alert us if he tries to get up. However, when visiting hours start, it turns out we don’t need it after all…)

Patient’s Wife: “DON’T YOU EVEN THINK OF GETTING OUT OF BED BY YOURSELF! I’VE TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES, YOU HAVE TO CALL THE GIRLS IF YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF BED!”

(Cue the nurse and I hustling over to his room to respond to the verbal bed alarm.)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:20
Not Feline These Vegetables
PETS & ANIMALS, STUPID, USA, VET | HEALTHY | APRIL 27, 2019
(A woman comes in with her sick cat.)

Woman: “I don’t know what happened. She was very healthy when I adopted her.”

Me: “Did she eat something she shouldn’t have?”

Woman: “I am very careful about what ends up in her tummy. I make sure she gets only the best vegetarian meals.”

Me: “Excuse me, vegetarian?”

Woman: “Oh yes, I cannot stand meat consumption.”

Me: “Ma’am, cats are strictly carnivorous. Did your cat say she was okay with converting to your lifestyle?”

Woman: “Of course not, animals can’t consent… Oh…”

(I’m still getting headaches when I try to understand why that woman had to be told what I told her. The cat was held at the animal hospital until it was in good health and ready to be adopted. The woman agreed the cat was better with someone else. I’m vegetarian myself, but I would never feed my snake vegetables. Piece of advice guys: if you are vegetarian or vegan and won’t even feed meat to your pet, please get a herbivorous pet.)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:21
Wheelchairs, Trains, And Automobiles
AWESOME, HEALTH & BODY, INSPIRATIONAL, JAPAN, NON-DIALOGUE, TOURISTS/TRAVEL | HEALTHY WORKING | APRIL 26, 2019
My parents came to visit me in Japan. On the second day of us all being together, we were walking through the hotel garden and my mom hurt her foot. She iced it as soon as we got back to our room, but an hour later she couldn’t put any weight on it. The hotel we were staying at organized a taxi for us to a local hospital that had an ER open at midnight. We got there and the doc and nurse that cared for my mom spoke English. It was midnight and they had English-speaking staff on duty!

When they wheeled my mom into the ER from the waiting room, she had an anxiety attack, so back to the empty waiting room we went for the rest of her care. In the end, she had broken her foot — her big toe really. There was nothing that could be done for that but for her to stay off it.

Yeah, right. Day two of a two-week vacation in Japan? Ha! We rented crutches for the next two weeks and borrowed the hotel wheelchairs wherever we stayed.

After getting back to the hotel, the staff there were able to organize a rental wheelchair for us for our week in Kyoto.

Before Kyoto was Hiroshima. Our hotel was basically connected to the train station by a long walkway. Dad contacted the hotel, and two employees met us at the ticket gates with a luggage trolley and a wheelchair. At the end of our stay, one pushed Mom to the station as Dad and I had the luggage. Dad used the wheelchair to get Mom up to the shinkansen waiting room and returned the empty chair to the hotel staff member.

In Kyoto, the rental company delivered the wheelchair to the door of our B&B and collected it from Kyoto station, after we wheeled Mom up to the shinkansen platform.

After returning to Tokyo from Kyoto, Mom made her way to a waiting room. I went from ticket gate to ticket gate to get a wheelchair to get her from the shinkansen waiting room to the local train line. The employee wheeled her from the waiting line to the ticket transfer gate where two local line employees met us. One pushed Mom and the other lead the way, breaking traffic. It was over 700m to get to our train and Mom would never have made it on her crutches.

At the train, Mom was asked to sit on the train seat and the ladies took the wheelchair. At our exit, another employee was there with a wheelchair. She took us to the Tokyo Monorail line where we had another employee and chair. He got Mom onto the monorail where yet again there was an employee waiting with a chair for Mom.

Japan is nowhere near as wheelchair friendly as the US. People here have smaller personal bubbles and got too close to my mom for her comfort, but the level of care my mom got from train and hotel employees was amazing.

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:21
She’s About To Put Her Foot In It
BAD BEHAVIOR, HOSPITAL, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 26, 2019
(While cleaning a route for climbing, some rocks come loose and hit my foot. I am a few hours from the nearest town, and about six from the nearest hospital. Because the pain is manageable, I just lace my boots up and get a ride to the hospital a few days later. I will admit to looking more than a little scruffy at this point, and bathing hasn’t exactly been a common occurrence over the past few months due to lack of facilities.)

Nurse: “Why are you here today?”

Me: “I think I broke my foot.”

Nurse: “Why do you think that?”

Me: “Around 45 pounds of rocks fell on it a few days back, and I can move one of the bones around.”

Nurse: *rolls her eyes* “Are you sure that’s not just a joint? If you broke something a few days ago, you would have come in a few days ago.”

Me: “Well, it wasn’t really an option because I was two hours outside of [Small, Rural Town] and had to wait to get a ride to here. Plus, it’s really swollen and I don’t think the arch of my foot has a joint in it.”

Nurse: “If you want pain meds, just admit it. I’m not wasting time on a room for you if you’re just looking for pills.”

Me: “I haven’t asked for any medications at all, and I just want an x-ray of my foot.”

Nurse: “No. You clearly want drugs. I’m not wasting time on you anymore. Just leave. Try the methadone clinic across the street.”

Me: “No. I am not leaving until someone actually examines my foot!”

Nurse: *rolls eyes again and motions to the security guard* “Listen, if you won’t leave, we’ll have to escort you out.”

Me: “Just have someone actually look at my foot! I don’t want pills, I don’t want a room; just have an actual doctor look at my d*** foot!”

(The security guard looks at me and the nurse.)

Nurse: “Get her out of here; she’s a junkie.”

Guard: *looking confused* “Has she asked for pills? Or been violent to you? Because I haven’t seen her threaten you, [Nurse]. I don’t see why she needs to leave before seeing a doctor.”

(The nurse stomps away but returns a few minutes later, dragging a doctor by the sleeve.)

Nurse: “See? She claims she broke her foot days ago and just now came in for it. She’s clearly looking for drugs or a place to sleep.”

Doctor: “Have you actually looked at her foot yet, [Nurse]?”

Nurse: “No! She’s gross and clearly faking it! She doesn’t need treatment; she needs a f****** job!”

Doctor: “Let me see your foot, ma’am.”

(I take off my boot and sock. Apparently, one of the bones has moved around; it’s now visibly poking up.)

Doctor: “[Nurse], get out of here. Her foot is clearly broken. Go find something else to do, instead of your asinine crusade against people who you don’t like.”

(I got my foot x-rayed and got a boot for it. I broke it in five places and the doctor said I was lucky to not have caused permanent damage by not getting it set right away. The nurse had to send me an apology letter for her behavior, and I learned to shower and look nicer before going to a hospital!)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:21
She Had A Fall, And So Did Australia, Apparently
AUSTRALIA, GOLDEN YEARS, HOSPITAL, PATIENTS, PERTH, POLITICS, WESTERN AUSTRALIA | HEALTHY | APRIL 26, 2019
(I’m in the ER with my husband after he broke his arm. A woman and her adult daughter are in the curtain area next to us. From what I can gather, the older woman had a fall and hit her head; she doesn’t remember what happened and has lost her hearing aids. The nurse is asking her some general questions. It is 2014 and we live in Australia.)

Nurse: “Okay, just a few questions. What is your full name?”

Older Woman: “[Older Woman].”

Nurse: “Great, and your birthdate?”

Older Woman: “Pardon?”

Daughter: *bit louder* “Your birthday, mum”

Older Woman: “Oh, it’s [birthdate].”

Nurse: “Who is the prime minister?”

Older Woman: “I’m sorry, what?”

Daughter: *louder again* “Who’s the idiot that runs the country?”

Older Woman: “Oh, that’s Tony Abbott.”

(My husband and I couldn’t help but laugh. The nurse had a good chuckle, too.)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:22
No Three Cheers For This Doctor
BAD BEHAVIOR, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, GEORGIA, HOSPITAL, USA, WILD & UNRULY | HEALTHY | APRIL 25, 2019
(My first experience with a migraine is not a fun one. I lay in bed for two days and nothing works. I am ten at the time. My mom decides to take me to the ER to get stronger medicines since I am missing school and crying any time I am awake. After waiting for an hour, I am taken back and they begin prepping for medicine.)

Doctor: “All right. I’m going to give you a shot to help your head.”

Me: “W-what? I didn’t…”

(I start crying again due to a fear of needles while my mom comforts me. The doctor preps the shot.)

Doctor: “All right. Going to count to three and then we’ll stick you. One… Two…”

(He then jabs the needle in. I scream and jerk away because I wasn’t prepared, causing blood to get all over my arm.)

Doctor: “What the h*** was that for?! You’re ten! Grow up!”

Mom: “And you stabbed my child! You said, ‘On three’!”

Doctor: “Well, if he wasn’t such a brat—“

(A nurse comes in at that moment and sees me crying with blood all over my arm, my mom cornering the doctor, and the doctor with the needle still in his hand. The doctor shoves my mom away and all but slams the needle into the nurse’s hand.)

Doctor: “You take care of this spoiled brat!”

(The nurse patched me up and waited until three to stick me. It took a few tries, but we finally got the medicine. Once it took effect, I don’t remember anything, but, from what I heard, the doctor was fired because he was too rough with patients. One even almost died because of him.)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:22
The Faint Is Not A Feint
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, JERK, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 24, 2019
(My adult daughter has multiple medical issues, including vasovagal syncope — she faints — triggered by several things, including vomiting and even small blood draws. I am with her for support and as her driver in case of problems when she goes to get a routine blood draw that requires multiple vials. Due to insurance issues, she is going to an unfamiliar lab and has called in advance to verify that there is a bed available for her to lie down for the draw, as it’s the only way to prevent an event. She is called by the phlebotomist.)

Phlebotomist: “Please have a seat here in this chair and we’ll get started.”

Daughter: “I need to lie down or I’ll faint. I was told you had a bed available?”

Phlebotomist: “Oh, was that you who called? Please just sit down. I draw blood every day, all day, and I’ve never heard of such a problem.”

(It’s actually fairly common.)

Daughter: “I have vasovagal syncope triggered by having my blood drawn. I’d rather lie down so I don’t end up on the floor.”

Phlebotomist: “There isn’t a bed available. Now, you’re holding up the process as there are several others also waiting to have their blood drawn. We’ll just have to deal with it if it happens, which I know for a fact it won’t. I’m very good at my job.”

Daughter: “I’d rather wait for a bed. How long will it be?”

Phlebotomist: “We don’t have any beds in the lab. We’d have to go to the doctor’s office next door, and I’m not going to do that. These chairs recline a bit; I’ll put it back and you’ll be fine. Now, are you going to get the blood drawn or not?”

Daughter: *not wanting to make a scene and needing to have the procedure completed* “Okay, but I warned you; you can’t say I didn’t.” *and to me* “Mom, please come in and be ready to catch me.”

(The phlebotomist prepares my daughters arm for the draw, commenting about how she’s never seen anyone actually faint from a simple blood draw, and what a wuss my daughter is for having to have her mother present for the procedure. When she inserts the needle and starts to draw the blood, my daughter’s eyes roll back and she starts to slide out of the chair.)

Phlebotomist: “What’s happening?! Wake up, wake up! You can’t do this to me! Please, Mom, hold her up while I finish!”

(So much for not keeping the others waiting. She was out cold on the floor for several minutes, and it was over half an hour before she could stand to even get into a wheelchair to leave the room. They’ve since installed a fully reclining chair in the lab, and the phlebotomist learned a valuable lesson about listening to the clients. Also, my daughter will now not allow anyone to draw her blood unless she is fully lying down and will not take “no” for an answer.)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:23
Cyst-emic Failure To Diagnose
CANADA, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, STUPID | HEALTHY | APRIL 24, 2019
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(I wake up in excruciating and familiar pain. As someone who has cystic ovaries, I can tell when a cyst is about to rupture; the pain is as identifiable as it is horrific. Other symptoms accompany it, including increased discharge from the nether regions — a point that is important, I assure you. My husband drives me to the ER where I describe the symptoms to the nurse, who winces empathetically.)

Nurse: “I’ve had that, too; I know exactly how you feel.”

(The doctor comes in and I clearly explain my symptoms in detail. She performs a pelvic exam.)

Doctor: “Have you inserted a suppository because of the discharge?”

Me: *in disbelief* “No, that’s the other symptom I mentioned to you; it’s fluid from the ruptured cyst.”

(She then grabs my right leg, pushes it up and into my abdomen, and asks me if it hurts as I gasp and retch from the pain of it torquing my ovary. Her diagnosis?)

Doctor: “Tendonitis in your leg.”

(She sent me home with instructions to alternate ice and heat. The sympathetic nurse urged me to seek a second opinion, which I did. At the second hospital, I explained all of my symptoms to the triage nurse, and said, “You will see in my records that I was just seen at the other hospital and was released with a diagnosis of tendonitis. I thought I’d come to see someone at your facility since, apparently, tendonitis is leaking out of my vagina.” Once she finished laughing, she and the rest of the medical team quickly diagnosed me with a ruptured ovarian cyst, and provided the pain medication and follow-up care I needed!)

florida80
04-21-2021, 20:23
A Short Pregnancy
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, SILLY, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 23, 2019
(During my third trimester, I am being seen one visit by a doctor who is not my usual ob/gyn. My usual doctor is about five feet tall — 5’2” in heels. I’m 5’3” if I don’t slouch, and my baby is about six pounds. As the doctor in this visit is going over my information, verifying who my doctor is, and checking the size of my baby, he finally exclaims loudly:)

Doctor: “Jeez, there are a lot of short people involved in this pregnancy.”

(My husband and I kept it together but had a really good laugh later on.)

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:30
A Short Pregnancy
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, SILLY, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 23, 2019
(During my third trimester, I am being seen one visit by a doctor who is not my usual ob/gyn. My usual doctor is about five feet tall — 5’2” in heels. I’m 5’3” if I don’t slouch, and my baby is about six pounds. As the doctor in this visit is going over my information, verifying who my doctor is, and checking the size of my baby, he finally exclaims loudly:)

Doctor: “Jeez, there are a lot of short people involved in this pregnancy.”

(My husband and I kept it together but had a really good laugh later on.)

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:30
College Doesn’t Cause Less Anxiety, Trust Us!
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, FLORIDA, JERK, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 22, 2019
(I was diagnosed with a general anxiety disorder and panic disorder at nineteen, and have been on anti-anxiety medications since. Sometimes, they stop being as effective, or the side effects become worse, and I need to return to a doctor to change my prescription. This was never an issue before, as my dosage is low and I don’t require strong or addictive medication. However, after moving, I go to see a new doctor. The clinic has gotten all my medical records from my previous one, and I have filled out the forms, detailing my conditions. The doctor is a general practitioner, is male and middle-aged, and immediately seems to be only paying half-attention. I am a twenty-five-year-old female.)

Doctor: “Now, why is someone like you on anxiety medication?”

Me: *confused* “Because I have an anxiety and panic disorder. I was diagnosed years ago, as it says in my file.”

Doctor: “Have you ever tried losing weight?”

Me: “Uh, yes. I’ve been on diets since I was five. I do eat healthily and I walk a mile almost daily–“

Doctor: “And you’re not working.”

Me: *having no idea what this has to do with anything* “No, not yet. I just moved states with my family.”

Doctor: “So, you plan on working? Or are you going to school?”

(I have absolutely no idea where this conversation is going, or why he’s suddenly asking about my life. In the back of my head, I’m hoping he’s trying to figure out what medication to put me on if I’m entering a more stressful situation.)

Me: “No, I’m not planning on going to college, and I’ve started looking for a job–“

Doctor: *cutting me off in a grandfatherly, scolding tone* “Now, why aren’t you planning on going to college? There are lots of good colleges around here.” *starts naming off colleges*

(I am getting increasingly embarrassed and flustered. I attended one year of community college, but my health had taken such a terrible turn from the constant stress and panic attacks I nearly ended up in the hospital. I didn’t continue.)

Me: “I’m… not really interested in going back to college, sir. Can we get back to my–“

Doctor: *dismissively* “Now, now, I’ve got a granddaughter your age; I know what I’m talking about. You don’t need more pills. What you need is to get your degree, lose weight, and find a good man to marry. You’re anxious because your life isn’t heading anywhere! I’ll put you on [medication] for now, but when you come back, I expect you to be enrolled somewhere, you hear?” *winking at me* “Doctor’s orders.”

(I was so bewildered and humiliated I just wanted to get out of the office. I took my prescription and never returned to his office again. I’ve had doctors be unprofessional before, but I’ve never had one lecture me on how going to college would magically cure my mental illness!)

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:31
Getting High (Prices) On Medication
CALIFORNIA, EMPLOYEES, PHARMACY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 22, 2019
(I’m at the pharmacy to pick up one of my regular prescriptions. This one is about $5. After the pharmacy tech verifies my identity, the following occurs:)

Tech: “Okay, just this medication? That will be $45.”

Me: “Wait, what? It’s usually $5. Why is it so expensive?”

Tech: “Hmm, looks like we didn’t run it through your insurance.”

Me: “…”

Tech: “…”

Me: “Could you run it through my insurance?”

Tech: *surprised* “You want me to do that?”

Me: “Yes. Yes, I do.”

(I did get my medication for the right price and headed home. This was over a year ago, and I’m still baffled why asking for it to be run through my insurance was such an odd request.)

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:31
Are You Sure You’re Sure?
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NURSES, PATIENTS, UK | HEALTHY | APRIL 21, 2019
(I have appendicitis and have presented at the hospital late at night. These conversations take place over the time between then and finally having surgery the following afternoon. My cis female partner is with me throughout.)

Doctor: “Any chance you could be pregnant?”

Me: “No, this is my only sexual partner and she can’t get me pregnant accidentally.”

Partner: “Well, we aren’t using contraception.”

Me: “True. We’d make a fortune if you did get me pregnant, though.”

Doctor: “We have to do a pregnancy test, anyway.”

(Forty minutes later, in the surgical assessment unit…)

Junior Doctor: “And any chance you are pregnant?”

Me: “The GP did a pregnancy test and it was negative and no, no sperm has been anywhere near me.”

Junior Doctor: “Well, we will do another test.”

(Two hours after that, when I am finally seen by the on-call registrar…)

Registrar: “You must be in agony. Any chance you might be pregnant?”

Me: “You’ve done two pregnancy tests tonight, both negative. This is my only sexual partner. Please, can you just give me some pain relief?”

Registrar: “Yes, we will get antibiotics and saline set up via a cannula and get you some pain relief and then admit you. We need to do swabs for MRSA and a pregnancy test.”

Me: “I have not been able to keep anything down, including more than a sip of water, for over twelve hours now. I am quite dehydrated. The chances of me being able to pee into a cup are very slim.”

Registrar: “Well, just do what you can.”

(A few hours later, I am admitted in the middle of the night and finally given pain relief, and I wake up on the ward.)

Nurse: “Now, we have an order for a pregnancy test; apparently, you couldn’t produce a sample last night, but now that we have fluids in you, you should be able to.”

Me: “I have had two pregnancy tests already since I got here, but sure, let’s do a third.”

(Later, during surgical rounds…)

Surgeon: “Right, well, you’re on the list for urgent surgery. We will need to do a pregnancy test before we can operate, though.”

Me: “You have done three already. All negative. My only sexual partner doesn’t produce sperm and we are not trying for a baby.”

Surgeon: “Three? Maybe I can check those results.”

Me: “Thanks.”

(Nope, the nurse appeared with another cup for me to pee into. I had my appendix out and I was very definitely not pregnant.)

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:31
Would Rather Deal With The Fungus
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, NON-DIALOGUE, USA, VIRGINIA | HEALTHY | APRIL 19, 2019
I am extremely susceptible to fungal infections like ringworm. It’s not a real problem, for the most part, just an unsightly nuisance. I had a mark on my arm that I knew from experience was a fungal infection, but the OTC drugs don’t work well on me, so while I was visiting a new doctor about an unrelated issue I asked her about getting a prescription for it. The doctor asked me why I needed it, so I showed her the mark on my arm and explained my history with these kinds of infections.

The doctor immediately got extremely snotty and annoyed with me. She said that I wasn’t a doctor — which is true — and that whatever that mark was, it was not a fungal infection, and that it could be very serious. She said I should tell her about any worrisome marks and then let her do her job — determining what they are and making decisions about my care — without making guesses about what the problem is. She announced that she was going to look at a sample of the mark to determine what it was and what needed to be done, took a skin scraping, and flounced out of the room.

Five minutes later she was back. She wouldn’t look me in the eye while she told me it was a fungal infection, handed me a script, and then marched out.

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:32
They Manipulate Grass Now, Too
AWESOME, HEALTH & BODY, HOME, INSPIRATIONAL, KANSAS, NEIGHBORS, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 18, 2019
I’m an adult living with my parents. My mom’s chiropractor lives across the street from us. One day at an appointment, she is telling him that she is rather sore. She has to do most of the chores around the house, including mowing the lawn, because both my dad and I are recovering from surgery.

A few days later, my dad steps outside to get the newspaper and finds the chiropractor mowing our lawn for us.

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:35
Just His (Red) Cross To Bear
BLOOD DONATION, NEW YORK, SILLY, SPOUSES & PARTNERS, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 17, 2019
(For those who don’t know, there is a specialized blood donation process called apheresis. In this type of donation, the platelets are separated out of the bloodstream and collected, while the rest of the blood is returned to the body. It takes longer than a regular whole blood donation but can be done more often so people can give more. The phone rings and I answer it.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hello, this is [Caller] from the American Red Cross calling to speak to [Husband] about scheduling an apheresis appointment.”

Me: *calling out* “[Husband], it’s the Red Cross. They want to suck your blood!”

Caller: “No, just his platelets…”

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:36
Just The Naked Truth, Doc
HOSPITAL, PATIENTS, SILLY, UK | HEALTHY | APRIL 15, 2019
(I’ve been referred to a gynaecologist. After taking my history he shows me behind a curtain, where there is a bed with stirrups, and asks me to get ready for an examination. After a minute or two, I am ready.)

Doctor: *from the other side of the curtain* “Are you decent?”

(My legs are in stirrups, and my genitals are completely exposed.)

Me: *jokingly* “Well, I definitely wouldn’t say I’m decent…”

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:36
Out Of Control About The Birth Control
COLUMBUS, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, OHIO, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 14, 2019
(I am coming in for a routine checkup with my GP. I am female and he is going through all the questions. Then, we get to the contraceptive part.)

Doctor: “Are you on birth control?”

Me: “No, I don’t react well to it.”

Doctor: “So, what do you use for protection?”

Me: “Condoms.”

Doctor: “Condoms are fine and all, but not 100% effective. You should really also be on birth control pills.”

Me: “Well, I tried taking the lowest dose offered, but I gained a ton of weight and was always throwing up while I was on it. I don’t react well to it and prefer not to take it. Condoms work just fine.”

Doctor: “Just using condoms is like playing Russian Roulette! It does not protect you 100%!”

Me: *thinking to myself that the “pullout method” was more akin to “Russian Roulette* “Well, again, I get really sick when I’ve taken it in the past, so I really don’t want it.”

(He went on for about five minutes more on how I was being “risky.” I couldn’t help but feel he was being a “pill pusher” and not listening to what I was saying. At that point, I was 26 and married with a steady job, so if I did accidentally become pregnant it wouldn’t have been the end of the world. Every time I went in after that, he was always pushing birth control. I think I need a new GP.)

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:37
Allergic To Dumb Doctors
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, OHIO, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 12, 2019
(I am in the ER due to a high fever and an inability to breathe without wheezing for a week, having been urged by the nurse advice line to go in. Previously, my GP, who works at the hospital, said that my inability to breathe was due to allergies. I am annoyed at this because she did not even listen to my lungs, even when I told her it felt like I had something in my left lung. After a surprisingly short wait for this emergency room, I get my vitals taken, and then I’m sent back to a room to wait for the doctor to see me. When she finally comes, the doctor barely looks up from her clipboard.)

Doctor: “Miss [My Name], it looks like to me that you have allergies.”

Me: “No, I–“

Doctor: *looks up, clearly annoyed* “Your previous doctor said it was allergies. Coming to my emergency room will not make it not allergies. I’ll even give you an x-ray to show it.” *looks back down at her clipboard* “So, I need you to take a pregnancy test.”

Me: “Don’t need it.”

Doctor: “Yes, you do.”

Me: “I am asexual and my girlfriend lives in another state. No, I do not!”

(I start a wheezing, coughing fit; I try to talk when I can get a breath.)

Me: “Allergies in me makes me lose hearing in my right ear. It makes me look like I’ve been bawling. This. Is. Not. Allergies!”

(The doctor is stunned at my outburst, and because she accidentally left the sliding door open, there are a few other attendings who are staring. The doctor runs off, slamming the door shut behind her. It is over a half hour before a nurse comes to wheel me to the x-ray.)

Nurse: “By the way, good job at getting her to look up and shut up. We said it didn’t look like allergies when [Other Nurse] took your vitals.” *under her breath* “I bet she wasn’t even reading your chart.”

(After the x-ray and breathing treatments, the doctor came back and sheepishly admitted that I had pneumonia in both lungs, my left lung being the worst she’d ever seen. I was also pleasantly surprised to learn that whenever I returned to the hospital for a followup, I didn’t have to deal with the pregnancy question again.)

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:37
Parents Of Patients Can’t Be Patient
BAD BEHAVIOR, HOSPITAL, MISSOURI, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 11, 2019
(I’m working on a pediatric hospital ward. A patient quits breathing and a code blue is called.)

Parent: *of another patient on the ward* “Excuse me. We asked for Tylenol ten minutes ago and my child’s fever continues to get worse.”

Nurse: “I’m sorry, but we are in the middle of a respiratory code right now and someone will help you in a few minutes.”

Parent: “I don’t give a d*** about that other child; my child needs Tylenol right now!”

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:38
Story #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) :
GROCERY STORE, MINNESOTA, USA
While doing our weekly grocery shopping it begins to storm outside, the kind of thunderstorm that will soak you to the bone in a matter of seconds. Once my wife, my 2 children, and I are done checking out we stop at the front door to decide if we want to wait for the rain to stop. After checking the weather we decide that it is going to last a while, so I just decide to suck it up and go out to get the car, leaving my wife and kids to wait for me to pull up. I of course get soaked to the bone on my way out. Once I get to the entrance I start loading my kids in the car when the store manager approaches us. I assume she is going to tell me I can’t park there, but instead she proceeds to help me load my groceries into the trunk, along with about 4 other employees all of them getting soaked as well. I have never had that kind of service before and it’s nice to know that there are still people out there willing to help their customers even if it doesn’t help their bottom line.

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:41
Story #2:
Military, Sri Lanka

In 1936 my great-grandfather left the Royal Navy with the rank of Chief Petty Officer after 22 years service. He then joined the Admiralty as a Naval Paymaster. During the war he was posted to Ceylon (now Sri Lanka). Much to his chagrin, the authorities insisted that he be given a formal rank and appointed him Lieutenant-Commander. Although he had a uniform, he swore that he would never wear it.

One day a U.S. Sub-Lieutenant needed some information from him and demanded that he presented it to him on board his vessel the following morning. My great-grandfather went home and asked his wife to lay out his dress uniform.
“But Robert, you said you would never wear it.”
“Olive, tomorrow I am making an exception.”

The following morning he arrived at the U.S. vessel, in uniform, and was piped aboard. The vessel`s captain, being massively out-ranked by a Naval Lieutenant-Commander, asked very respectfully what he wanted. My great-grandfather said that Mr ***** had demanded that he bring this information to him and therefore he was doing so.

One hopes that the U.S. Sub-Lieutenant was never again quite so high-handed with a `civilian` worker and also that he recovered from the chewing-out that he will have received from his captain.

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:41
Story #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) :
Bar, Kentucky, USA

It’s happy hour at the bar I work at, we’re serving a regular we know well for being confrontational normally, and even worse when he gets drunk, but he never actually goes so far as to swing or do anything to incite something past words so we haven’t seen fit to kick him out, we also get people from a nearby military base pretty often, so you’d have to be an idiot to seriously pick a fight. I’m working the bar and see the regular is nearing his point and has gone to pick on someone who, to my horror, is an obvious amputee I haven’t seen before.

Regular: “Come on stumpy, come at me, I’ll even give you the first swing! Or are you gonna show me you’re half the man you used to be!”

The new guy grunts. Obviously annoyed but not wanting trouble he continues to ignore him, then the regular throws his drink in his face.

Regular: “Hey, what’s that on your finger, a wedding band? You even got the d*** to please her anymore? Tell ya what, you give me your address and I’ll go-”

Before anyone can react, the regular is on the floor bleeding from his mouth unconscious, the new guy wipes off his knuckles, sits down like nothing ever happened and goes back to his drink. At this point the soldiers in the bar are going OORAH, when one of them turns to me.

Other regular: “Guy over there is the toughest damn soldier I’ve met, lost his arm to a bomb and still managed to kill the guys that attacked his squad before getting rescued.”

I see the new guy pull out a piece of paper, write something on it, and slip it into the regular’s pocket. When the regular came to it was in the back of an ambulance. The regular was banned for attacking both a veteran and a disabled person as well as jailed for assault. And as for what was written on the note? According to the Vet it was; “What does it say about you that I could still kick your ass with one arm and one punch?”

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:41
Story #4 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=4) :
Coffee Shop, USA

(This is a small, locally owned coffee shop. A customer comes in with a couple of very energetic children who are excitedly jabbering back and forth to each other in a normal inside voice. The customer, their father and a regular, orders his drinks, pays and goes to wait with them, joining in their silly word game. A minute later another customer comes up to the bar to get their drink.)

Customer: “You need to kick those noisy brats out of here.”
Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but I can’t kick them out for talking. They’re really not being that loud.”
Customer: “And their father, encouraging his kids to talk in public. Disgraceful. You should ban him for that.”
Me: “Ma’am we don’t ban people for entertaining their kids and we don’t kick kids out for talking in a normal tone of voice.”
Customer: (Yelling at me) “Listen you little b****, I’m the owner’s wife and I’m telling you to ban them right f******* now!”
Me: “I can’t…”
Customer: “Don’t you dare open your f****** mouth to argue with me you b***! I’ll have your a** fired.”

(I flinch at the tirade and find myself unable to respond. At this point the father comes up behind her.)

Father: “[My name], get yourself a drink on me and go on break. I’ll handle this. If your boss says anything just say I’ll explain.”

(He turns to the customer as I nod dumbly and turn to make myself a drink.)

Father: “First of all, you don’t treat other human beings like that. If you had any decency I wouldn’t have to tell you that. Second, my kids are being much better behaved than you are. Third, you weren’t even at the owner’s wedding. I was.”

Customer: (Smugly as if calling a bluff) “If you were at the wedding where were you sitting?”

Father: “I was standing right next to her.”

(The customer keeps smiling smugly for a few seconds before realization hits her like a sledgehammer. Her smile falters then she pales visibly and runs from the store. The owner’s husband covered for me for about 10 minutes while I took a break. When I came back there was a $50 bill in the tip jar. He’d never admit to it, but I suspect he put it in there.)

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:42
Story #5 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=5) :
Restaurant, Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA

(I work at a grill. We don’t really have a vegetarian menu so this customer ordered a grilled cheese. A minute after I bring out their food she flags me down.)

Vegetarian: “I hate to be a bother but there’s um, something in my sandwich.” She shows me: a spider is stuck in the cheese. I’m freaking out, sure we’re going to have a bunch of unhappy customers.

The guy from the table next to hers tries to lean over and see it. He asks “What’s in it?”‘

Vegetarian: “Some kind of meat. I’m a vegetarian. I really hate to ask but could I please have a new one?”

Me: “Of course, I am so sorry. I’ll get that to you right away.” I rush the plate back to the kitchen and show the chef. He goes red and starts yelling at his staff. My manager runs over and demands to know what’s happening. I tell him.

Manager: “Who else saw? We can’t afford to comp more than three..”

Me: “Just her table. She told the other tables it was meat.”

My manager was so grateful he sent over an entire dessert platter and comped their meal. When I told her table their food free they left a $100 tip.

Best table I’ve ever had!

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:42
Story #6 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=6) :
Beach, Florida, USA

(I go to visit my 24-year-old best friend in Florida, because her boyfriend called me and told me he was going to propose. After he does so, offers her a ring, she takes it, hugs him, and then studies the ring.)

Her; what is this? *points to a small diamond on the band, that is reasonably sized*
Him; it’s a diamond! *grins*
Her; right. That’s a diamond… ha!
Him; babe, that ring cost $500!
Her; that’s not enough!
Him; what?!

She takes off the ring, and throws it into the sand, then stomps off. Her boyfriend looks at me and his friends who are standing with me, avoiding her family’s gaze. We go over to him, as her family follows him, and hug him. We hung out for the rest of my vacation, and my best friend got really angry with him. I ended up telling her to shut the f*** up, and just leave him alone, if she wanted to be such a greedy b****. Her boyfriend broke up with her then, and after a few months, visited me where I live, and we went out on a few dates. It didn’t work out, but we’re still good friends, and he did find a wife who loves her “small, cheap a** ring!” And finds the original proposal both disgusting and hilarious.

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:43
Story #7 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=7) :
Fast Food, Virginia, USA

I worked nights during the week and long day shifts on the weekends at a popular burger place, known for their thick burgers. I have been on the clock for two hours when I hear yelling. It’s slow so I had to the back where the manager is yelling at the cooks. It turns out the young fools were bored and decided to play with the hose. They not only broke the sprayer but have torn the hose apart.

Just standing there looking at this fifteen-foot hose, I prayed I wouldn’t need it to clean the bathrooms. The connection to the sprayer was just hanging like a slinky and the sprayer was broken in two. One cook had the hose with the slinky, while the other cook had the handle part of the sprayer in his hand. Both boys were standing there soaked. The back half of the restaurant was soaked. Guess who had to clean up the dry stock and floors, ME. The fools had to clean the kitchen and freezer, it was right next door to where the hook up for the hose was located.

So the night continues, though the two bone heads now try to joke with me about cleaning the bathrooms, which I am dreading. I check the bathrooms. Woman’s is good, just some wiping down and sweeping but the men’s. There is one stall in there… just one… the rest is urinals. Will at some point a cherry bomb or a firecracker had been put in the toilet when it was full of SHIT. I just could not see someone pooping all over that stall because the ceiling and top part was also covered. This stall was ceiling to floor enclosed so a very small space with poop on every surface. Plus it was the farthest room from the front. I really needed that hose. Oh did I forget to say it was all dry and smelled.

No one complained about it and I had no clue when it happened. So I turned around walked right past the fools, who were snickering and right to the manager. I just told her to check out the men’s. She looked at me then the fools and went to see why I was near tears. I really was because I had no clue how to clean it or if I had time. Before she even returned I decided I wasn’t going to. The fools were back joking me and saying how I would be here all night. When did they learn I can’t say I just had a sinking feeling they had a hand in it.

My manager that night was the best, also she was pregnant. When she came back she was pissed. I mean fuming. She just watched them act a fool as she reached over to grab the buckets and brushes we kept near the hose before whistling.

“Since you think it is so funny, why don’t you go look yourself!” She said to them very calmly. They turned toward the kitchen to get back to work only for her to step in their paths. “Oh no. Since you boys broke the hose you are cleaning the men’s bathroom. Like you told (my name) it will take all night.” At that she thrusted the buckets and brushes into their hands and escorted them to the men’s. Her last parting words before turning the corner, “Start with the ceiling as that shit is going to be the hardest place to clean!”

I couldn’t believe what was happening. The cooks never cleaned the bathrooms because they had to stay with the food. As will as the cross contamination that could occur.

That night I learned how to make food and that my manager was a firm believer in Karma. They stayed in the bathrooms for the rest of the night. As I was leaving they were outside the men’s gagging and one of them had a streak down his back. His friend was trying to wipe it off with toilet paper. It was hilarious.

They never joked me about cleaning or ever touched the hose again. I stayed for another few years before I found a better job.

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:44
Story #8 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=8) :
Call Center, Oregon, USA

(I work in a call center in the comments/suggestions department. This is my first call of the day.)

Me:  (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=8) 220;Thank you for calling [company] comments and suggestions, this is [my name] speaking, how can I be of service today? (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=8) 221;

Customer:  (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=8) 220;Hi, [my name], I want to start by telling you that I am in an extremely bad mood and that I realize that this is not your fault personally; I am just mad at [company], so if I am rude or aggressive in any way, I apologize. (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=8) 221;

(The customer was actually the nicest call I had all day. I took down her complaint and flagged it as priority so that somebody would get to it quickly because she tried very hard not to yell at me for the company (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=8) 217;s mistakes.)

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:44
Story #9 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=9) :
Grocery Store, Florida, USA

[Several months back we started selling Star Wars themed Jell-O molds and very few of them sold, so our manager gave them to us cashiers to give away to customers. A few hours had gone by and I had quite honestly forgotten about them when a woman walked up to my register with her son, who started looking at the coloring books we have on display and I notice him looking at a Star Wars one.]

Me: (leans in a bit close, lowering my voice) Does your son like Star Wars?
Woman: Oh my gosh you have no idea! I asked if he wanted to go to the water park today and he said he’d rather sit at home and read the books I got him!

[I then mention the molds and ask if she would like one for him, and she immediately accepts.

Woman: Hey, [boy’s name], this nice lady has something for you! Like a present!
Boy: (puts down the book and walks over) But mom it’s not my birthday!

[I quickly finish the transaction and excuse myself to grab the mold from the register where they were stored. I return with it behind my back and crouch down a bit so I’m closer to his height.]

Me: So, your mom told me you like Star Wars?
Boy: (smiles and nods) Yeah, I love it!
Me: (pulls the mold out from behind my back and hands it to him) This is for you!

[The boy’s eyes lit up as he looked at the characters and he got the biggest grin on his face. He gave me the most sincere ‘Thank you!’ I have ever heard in my life and skipped off with his mom. I’m still grinning about it.]

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:45
Story #10 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=10) :
Clothing Store, France

(We’re in year 2000 or close. As a teenager, I’m slim and “nicely built” (or so I heard), yet I am VERY modest, especially on the chest area, and my family know it and respect it. I don’t mind girls who wear low-cut clothes, I think it’s really great if they enjoy it and I HATE slut-shaming, yet I’d rather get slapped or punched than showing the slightest part of my “parts”. Up to now most girls and women used to wear swimmer one-pieces on the beach, and I loved it. However, bikinis are coming back into fashion and my mom wants to buy me one of those. I accept, thinking she’ll find me a modestly cut two-pieces or anything that’ll cover everything I want to cover. She makes me try a dozen bikinis on. All of them are too low-cut for my tastes, and the shop assistant (he’s male) is staring.)

Me: “Mom, I don’t feel good in any of those.”

Shop assistant: “Are you sure? Because you look great in ALL of those!”

Me: “I don’t feel good. I’d like to try something more modest, please.”

(The shop assistant comes back with a swimsuit that is even more low-cut than the previous one. I’m running out of patience).

Me: “I’d like to try a one-piece on!”

Mom: “But you look so much better in a bikini!

Me: “Mom, EVERYONE looks good in one-pieces! They hide all the flaws!”

Shop assistant: “Which flaws? Your mom’s right, you have a bikini body!”

Me: “It’s MY body and I want to try a one-piece. I just prefer stuff I can swim with without ever losing the straps.”

Mom: “Try this one on before.”

(I try it. It’s still too low-cut for my tastes.)

Me: “I’d prefer a one-piece.”

Shop assistant: “One-pieces are for grandmothers. Is that what you want to do, looking like a granny? That would be a waste!”

Me: “I’d like something that’s not THAT low-cut, please.”

Shop assistant: “Why? You have beautiful breasts.”

(He’s staring at my cleavage and I’m just a girl. I feel dirty. To all shop assistants who read this, if a customer ever tells you she wants something more modest, just give her something more modest. Don’t make her try sexy things on “for her own good” if she doesn’t want to, especially if she’s a teenager. Prude-shaming is just as wrong as slut-shaming.)

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:46
Needs To Have Another Baby Talk
HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, JERK, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 10, 2019
(My husband and I are very excited to expect our first child, but we sadly lose the baby just before Christmas. I am scheduled for a D&C the next day. The nurse takes me back to the bed to get changed and this happens.)

Nurse: “When was your last menstrual period?”

Me: “Uh… like three months ago?”

Nurse: *handing me a cup* “Okay, the bathroom is right in there; we’re going to need a urine specimen.”

Me: “That’s really not…”

Nurse: “When you come back, put on the gown, opening in front, and put all your clothes in this bag.”

(She heads off to do something else.)

Husband: “Does she not know why you are here?”

(My urine sat on a table for the next three hours until I was wheeled into the operating room. I did not see that nurse again the entire time I was there, and everyone else was smart enough to offer condolences instead of asking me to take a bloody pregnancy test!)

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:46
Mathamedical
EMPLOYEES, FLORIDA, JERK, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 9, 2019
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(I take 150 mg of a seizure medication per day. It does not come in 150 mg tablets, though, so my doctor has written two prescriptions for it, one for 50 mg and one for 100 mg. I’ve been taking this dosage for over two years. I’ve used the same pharmacy the entire time. This happens one day when I go to pick up my prescription.)

Me: “Hello, I’m here to pick up my prescription.” *gives information*

New Tech: “Oh, that’s weird; I actually have two here for you. Do you take the 50- or 100-mg dose?”

Me: “I take both. My prescription is for 150 mg, and that’s the only way it can be filled.”

New Tech: “That’s not right! You can only take one or the other, not both.”

Me: “I assure you it’s correct. If you look at my records, you’ll see that the same prescription has been filled for over two years. I know most people either take one or the other, but it’s a seizure medication, so the dose can actually go up to 400 mg based on symptoms and therapeutic levels.”

(The tech continues to argue with me that I can only get one or the other because most people take either 50 mg or 100 mg, not 150 mg. I ask her to get the pharmacist. The tech goes over and tells him what’s going on. He looks up, see who it is, waves, and tells her that yes, it’s correct. She starts arguing with him that it cannot be correct. He just takes my prescription from her, walks over, and checks me out himself.)

Pharmacist: “Sorry about that. Here your prescription. I’ve added a note to your account just in case this is a problem at any point in the future.”

(The next time I came in, another new tech questioned me on which prescription I took of two again. I told her both. She told me to hold on, as there was a note on my account. She started laughing. The note read, “Don’t argue with her; the prescription is correct. Yes, it’s really both. If you’ve got a problem with it, come see me to sign off on it.”)

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:47
It’s Going To Be A Long Week That Lasts Two Months
DATE, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 8, 2019
(It is currently the beginning of April and this patient needs an appointment.)

Me: “Our next available is mid-June.”

Patient: “Okay, go ahead and schedule me for next Thursday.”

Me: “Our next available is mid-June.”

Patient: “I can’t schedule now; just schedule me for next Thursday.”

Me: “If you can’t schedule right now, that’s fine, but we are booking out until mid-June.”

Patient: “Okay, I’ll call back and schedule for next Thursday.”

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:47
He’s Far From The Shallow Now
BIZARRE, HOSPITAL, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 7, 2019
(My grandfather has fallen, hit his head hard, and had a stroke. Doctors are trying to figure out if the stroke he had caused the fall or if he fell so hard that it caused a stroke. Shortly after he is transferred to the stroke ward from the ICU, the doctor is asking my grandfather some questions to check his mental condition.)

Doctor: “Do you know what year it is?”

Grandfather: “Lady Gaga.”

Doctor: *slight pause* “Okay, but do you know the year?”

Grandfather: “2029.”

(Unfortunately, he wasn’t joking with his responses, but his doctors say he is making a good recovery even though he’s not quite sure what year we’re in.)

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:48
Shunting That Entitlement Away
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, JERK, SALT LAKE CITY, USA, UTAH | HEALTHY | APRIL 5, 2019
(My mom is an x-ray tech at a world-renowned children’s hospital. She helped pioneer a number of techniques now commonly used today, but the hospital’s main focus is on the patient’s overall welfare. This involves things like minimizing the number of x-ray frames taken to cut down on radiation exposure, cropping x-rays as tightly as they can to cut down on radiation scatter, etc. Most doctors treat the techs well and make sure they have all the necessary information, but one new doctor doesn’t seem to get how things work at this hospital.)

Doctor: “I need a head x-ray on this patient. Forward facing.”

Mom: “Great. What am I looking for?”

Doctor: “You don’t get to ask questions. I tell you what frames to take, and you take them. Me: doctor! You: tech! You don’t talk to me!”

Mom: *doesn’t say a word, just smiles politely and goes to take the x-ray*

(As per the hospital’s policy, she narrows the field as small as she possibly can, so literally only the skull itself is in the path of the radiation. The kid has a full head of curly hair, by the way. After the films are developed and sent up, the doctor comes storming down, furious.)

Doctor: “How could you not get a picture of his shunt?!”

Mom: “What shunt?”

Doctor: “The one in his skull! The whole reason for wanting to x-ray him in the first place!”

Mom: “Well, maybe, if you’d told me why you needed the x-ray, I would have focused on that area. Instead, you just told me to shut up and take the x-ray, which I did exactly according to hospital policy. The kid has a ton of hair; there’s no way to see the shunt, and no one told me he had one, nor was it included in the written orders. If you want an x-ray of something specific, you need to specify!”

Doctor: *glares, and then stomps off to tattle to the head of Radiology, who reads him the riot act for being so rude to a tech*

(Mom did retake the film, this time focusing strictly on the shunt and its surrounding area. She felt very bad that the kid was being exposed to a second dose of radiation, however small, though.)

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:48
A Benign Hair Style
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, SALT LAKE CITY, USA, UTAH | HEALTHY | APRIL 3, 2019
(My mom is an x-ray tech at a world-renowned children’s hospital. Patient welfare is the top priority, so they try to minimize tests and procedures as much as possible.)

Mom: *walks into the break room to see two doctors and an x-ray tech — all male — looking at a series of films*

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Obviously, we need to operate, cancerous or not. So, I say we just skip the biopsy and go straight in. We don’t want to put her under twice for no reason!”

Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “I agree, but these tumors are very unique. I’ve never seen anything quite like them, and with them being so close to both her heart and her lungs, I’m worried about what will happen if we do take them out. We don’t know how firmly they’re attached or entrenched in either of those organs.”

Mom: *curious* “Do you mind if I have a look at the films? If you haven’t seen a tumor like this before, it must be very rare.”

Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “By all means.”

([Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] hands over the films, and then continues to debate with his colleague about how quickly they can schedule the surgery, while Mom spends a few minutes looking closely at the x-rays.)

Mom: “Um, guys? We’ve got a problem here, but I don’t think it’s the problem you think it is.”

Tech: “What do you mean?”

Mom: “I don’t think that’s a tumor.”

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Of course it’s a tumor! What else could it be?”

Mom: “A hair tie.”

All: “WHAT?!”

Mom: “You know, those little round hair ties? The elastic kind with a pair of balls on the ends that little girls like?”

Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Yes, my daughter uses those. But what makes you think…”

Mom: “These tumors are perfectly round, they’re both exactly the same size, they slightly overlap, and if you look really closely, this one even has a hole through it… exactly where the elastic would be.”

All: *looks like she just hit them in the face with a board*

Tech: “You can’t be serious!”

Mom: “Do you want me to retake the film, just in case? I mean, I don’t want to expose her to more radiation, but better a single film than opening her rib cage! And if I’m wrong, then fine. But we wouldn’t want to operate on a child without being certain.”

Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Do it. Fast! She’s in room [number].”

Mom: “On it!”

(She runs up to the girl’s room:)

Mom: “Hi! I’m [Mom], one of the x-ray techs here at [Hospital]. There was a little problem with one of your daughter’s x-rays, so we need to retake it really fast. No need to worry!”

Girl: “I wiggled, didn’t I?”

Mom: “Don’t worry, sweetie. You just need to hold still for one last picture, I promise!”

(Mom, the girl, and her mother all head down to Radiology. When then get to the door, Mom asks the girl to take off her hair tie — yes, one of the kind with the little plastic balls! — from the end of the braid hanging down her back.)

Girl: “Do I have to? The other guy didn’t make me, and I don’t want my braid coming out!”

Mom: “Here. Let me see if I can find you an elastic. We just can’t have the little baubles; they might confuse the doctors when they’re reading your x-ray.” *goes to her purse and digs out an elastic of her own* “Here you go! Your mom can help you change that, and then she can wait right outside the door. We’ll only be a minute.”

(After helping the girl wrap a protective apron around her waist and hips, Mom took the film, and then the girl went back to her room. Mom immediately developed the film, and, as predicted, there were no tumors. The little girl was treated for her pneumonia and was sent home, healthy and happy, a week later. It became hospital policy after that to check for hair ties, barrettes, bobby pins, etc., before taking any x-rays.)

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:50
A Different Kind Of Socializing
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, EDITORS' CHOICE, MAINE, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, SILLY, USA | HEALTHY | APRIL 1, 2019
Doctor: “Are you sexually active?”

Me: “I’m not even socially active.”

(The doctor had to leave the room from laughing so hard.)

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:51
This Is Literally Costing You Blood
BLOOD DONATION, MADISON, SILLY, USA, WISCONSIN | HEALTHY | MARCH 31, 2019
(It’s my second time selling my plasma. The tech who got me hooked up the first time is floating around but isn’t the one to hook me up this time. I hear them talking about how many jabs it took them and how fast the machine is pulling blood out of me this time.)

Me: “You’re making me sound like a science experiment.”

Tech: “You are.”

Me: “Touché.”

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:55
You “Aced” The Test
BIRMINGHAM, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, ENGLAND, HOSPITAL, UK | HEALTHY | MARCH 27, 2019
(I have been pretty unwell with a virus for a week or so that has caused my asthma to flare up and has required me to take a short course of steroids. About a day or so after finishing the course, I start getting palpitations whilst at work, so I go to the hospital to see if it is something serious. This conversation happens when the doctor is arranging for me to get a chest x-ray.)

Doctor: “Any chance you could be pregnant?”

Me: “Nope.”

Doctor: “Okay, well, we still need you to do a pregnancy test.”

Me: *wondering why he even asked, then* “Why? There is literally no way I could be pregnant.”

Doctor: “Well, these things can happen!”

Me: “I’m asexual, doc.”

(The doctor frowns, looking a little confused.)

Me: *sigh* “I haven’t ‘been’ with anyone it over seven years. Trust me; there is no way I am pregnant.”

Doctor: “Look. The thing is that we just have to test all women, anyway. It’s kind of a rule.”

Me: “???”

(I had to take the test. Shocker, I was not pregnant.)

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:55
You Can Tell From My (Dial) Tone That I Can’t Speak
FINLAND, HEALTH & BODY, HELSINKI, HOSPITAL, NURSES | HEALTHY | MARCH 25, 2019
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(I am working in an ER doing office duties, including admitting walk-ins. A phone rings.)

Me: “This is [Hospital] with [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Caller: *absolute silence*

Me: “Sir or ma’am, are you unable to speak? Do you have a medical emergency?”

Caller: *still absolute silence*

(After about 60 seconds of silence, the caller hangs up. A few minutes later the phone rings again. The same thing happens again. I am getting really worried that this might be a bad emergency, like a stroke, that can leave a person without speak. I start wondering if I could communicate with the person using the phone’s dial tones and how to do it. But again, the person hangs up before I figure out a way to do it. The phone rings a third time. This time it’s the husband of a nurse, both of whom I know very well.)

Husband: “Hi, [My Name]. [Nurse] has really bad laryngitis. She can’t speak and can’t come to work today.”

Me: “Thank God. I was trying to figure out how to communicate with a person who can’t speak.”

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:56
Get Someone That Nose What They’re Doing
BAD BEHAVIOR, ENGLAND, NURSES, SCHOOL, UK | HEALTHY | MARCH 22, 2019
(I have recurring nosebleeds. I’m at school when I get my first one this year, and I ask to go down to the nurse’s office. The nurse isn’t there, so I just wait around with a tissue under my nose to catch any leakage. After ten minutes, a nurse comes in. I have never seen her before.)

Nurse: “Look at all the mess you’re making! Didn’t your mother ever teach you manners?”

Me: “I have a nosebleed. I can’t exactly stop it. All the blood is in the tissue, anyway.”

(She huffs and leaves the room. A few minutes later, she comes back with a plaster and attaches it to my nose — as in, over the nostrils — pushing so hard it makes the bleeding worse. I protest, but she leaves the room again. I yank the plaster off and some of the blood drips onto the floor. I’m in too bad a mood to clean it up. She comes back in.)

Nurse: “You messy boy! Look at all the blood on the floor!”

Me: “It’s one drop. I’ll clean it up before I go.”

Nurse: “This wouldn’t have happened if you’d kept the plaster on!”

(I swear at her — admittedly, this was wrong — and she storms out, returning with my tutor.)

Tutor: “[My Name], I hear you’ve been swearing at [Nurse]. You know our policy on this kind of behaviour.”

Me: “I’ll be more than happy to apologise, after she apologises for insulting me and acting like my nosebleed has been a personal grievance to her. She even stuck a plaster on my nose!”

Tutor: “[My Name]! You will apologise this instant, and I’m giving you a detention tomorrow. This is unacceptable behaviour. [Nurse] is the best nurse we’ve ever had!”

(I look between him and the nurse, who is looking triumphantly smug.)

Me: “That isn’t something you should be proud of.”

(I ended up with a week’s worth of detentions or that, but I refused to go — which my parents agreed with after I told them. The last straw was when they sent a letter home saying I had been suspended. My mum went down to the school to speak with the head teacher and the nurse. Apparently, she had only been in the building a couple of minutes when the nurse ran out in tears. The school retracted the suspension, but my parents moved me to a better school equipped with more competent staff.)

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:56
A Periodically Brief Scare
FRANCE, HOSPITAL, NURSES, PATIENTS | HEALTHY | MARCH 20, 2019
(After surgery on my leg, I need to pee, so I ask the nurse for help using the bedpan. After I’m finished, I can’t see the contents from my position but she obviously can, and she looks up with a horrified expression:)

Nurse: “This… This is your urine?”

Me: “Er, yes.”

Nurse: *speechless*

Me: “Oh! I forgot! I’m on my period!”

(She immediately sighs with relief. Sorry for scaring you, nurse!)

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:57
I Poultry Effort To Get In
BIZARRE, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PETS & ANIMALS, USA, VET | HEALTHY | MARCH 17, 2019
(I’m just having one of those “glitch in the Matrix” weeks, where weird things keep happening out of the blue. This is just one example. I work in a vet clinic. It’s Tuesday evening. I’m the only staff member still at work, and we’re less than an hour from closing. The vet has gone to her other office for the evening, and we’re only still open for pickup — meds, patients, etc. The door opens and a woman walks in.)

Me: “Hi. How can I help you?”

Woman: *smiles confidently at me* “Oh, hello. I am here with my chicken.”

Me: *sure I heard wrong since we don’t treat livestock* “I’m sorry, your chicken?”

Woman: “Yes. She is sick.”

Me: “I apologize, but we don’t see livestock here. And the vet is not here currently. But you may want to try [Larger Emergency Vet Hospital]; I believe they see livestock. I can give you their information if you need it—”

Woman: *suddenly enraged, her face turning violently red* “NO! I was told you see chickens!”

Me: “Ma’am, I apologize, but we, unfortunately, do not have a vet who treats livestock here. I recommend trying to see if [Larger Emergency Vet Hospital] is able to see her.”

(Getting redder by the moment, she shoves the basket with her chicken in it in my face; she’d had it under the raised counter where I couldn’t see it.)

Woman: “YOU NEED TO SEE MY CHICKEN NOW! SHE IS SICK!”

Me: “I’m so sorry, ma’am, but there’s nothing I can do. Even if my vet was here — unfortunately, she isn’t right now — she doesn’t treat chickens. Other than referring you elsewhere, I can’t help you.”

(She shoves her chicken in my face again. It is getting increasingly upset each time the owner violently swings her basket into my face.)

Woman: “YOU ARE WRONG! I WAS TOLD YOU CAN SEE CHICKENS!”

(I open my mouth to repeat everything again when the woman abruptly makes a frustrated screech to cut me off. Clearly aware she’s not going to get her way, she stomps out. Then, from the hallway, I hear:)

Woman: “THIS PLACE HATES CHICKENS!”

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:57
How To Be An A** With Your Boss
BOSSES & OWNERS, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 16, 2019
(I throw my back out at work. I am a female in my 20s. My line manager, who is male and around my age, gives me a ride to the ER and helps me in as I am in too much pain to walk. We are both in uniform. We speak to a doctor and explain exactly what happened, and he orders an x-ray. Afterward, my manager helps me into a cubicle and the doctor comes back in. I am still in a hospital gown from the x-ray.)

Doctor: “You’ve torn some ligaments. You’ll need to rest for two weeks to let them start to heal. I’ll get you some pain relief, and then you can go home.”

(He leaves and comes back a few minutes later.)

Doctor: “I know you’ve had an x-ray, but I have to ask. Is there any chance you could be pregnant?”

Me: “No, none.”

Doctor: “Are you sure?”

(My manager looks away uncomfortably.)

Me: “I’m certain I’m not pregnant.”

Doctor: “Okay, this will help for a few hours, and I’ll also give you a prescription for some painkillers.” *whips out a syringe*

Me: “Okaaay…”

Doctor: *reaching for my gown* “This needs to go in your buttock, so if you’ll turn around…”

Manager: “I’ll just be outside!” *turns bright red and literally leaps through the curtains*

Doctor: “Isn’t that your husband?”

Me: “No, that’s my boss!”

Doctor: “Maybe I should have asked that first…”

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:58
Keeping Your Sister On Her Toes
EL PASO, HEALTH & BODY, HOME, PATIENTS, SIBLINGS, TEXAS, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 15, 2019
(My older sister currently works at as an ER nurse. I am woken up one Saturday morning by my cell phone ringing.)

Me: “Hello?”

Sister: “I need you to come downstairs, right now.”

(I get up and walk down to the living room to find her and my parents all watching me descend.)

Me: “What’s going on?”

Sister: “I slipped on the stairs and broke my toe.”

Me: “You need someone to drive you to the hospital?”

Sister: “NO! My coworkers and I always joke about someone coming to the ER because they stubbed their toe. I am not going to the hospital because I hurt my toe.”

Me: “So, what do you need from me?”

Sister: “I need you to reset the bone. Mom is too squeamish and Dad is too gentle. You just need to pull on it quick, like taking off a bandage.”

Me: *shrugs* “Okay.” *walks over and yanks on the crooked toe*

Sister: *gasp of pain followed by a relieved sigh* “Thank you.”

(During her next shift at work, someone commented on her slight limp. She admitted to the accident and the doctor on hand insisted on x-raying her foot. The bone in the toe was indeed broken, but perfectly realigned.)

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:58
Helping Them Make A Rash Decision
HOSPITAL, PATIENTS, STUPID, USA, VIRGINIA | HEALTHY | MARCH 15, 2019
(I answer the telephones at a large emergency room.)

Me: “Emergency Department.”

Patient: “I was there yesterday, and was given medicine. The nurse told me if I develop a rash, I should come back into the ER.”

Me: “Okay.”

Patient: “I have a rash now. What should I do?”

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:59
When It Comes To Animal Welfare, They’re Not Horsing Around
CANADA, FARM, ONTARIO, PETS & ANIMALS | HEALTHY | MARCH 14, 2019
(I am home alone on our farm one afternoon — my family is out on errands — and there is a knock on the door. When I open the door, a man is standing there and there’s an SPCA van in the driveway.)

SPCA: “Hello, miss. We’ve had a complaint put forth about your animal welfare.”

Me: “What?!”

SPCA: “That horse over there.”

(He pointed at a horse in the field that my mum had taken in from a neighbour who was going to send her to the glue factory — yup, that’s really a thing. She was clearly sickly and dying, but we were giving her the best life we could until she passed, something her previous owner had no intention of doing. It was a serious charge and took almost a week to clear up… and $200 to get the vet out and write a note that we were giving her all the care she needed.)

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:59
Copay And Say Over Again
BIZARRE, ILLINOIS, INSURANCE, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 14, 2019
(My insurance company has decided to stop covering one of my prescriptions for unknown reasons. I get a notice from them on a Friday afternoon, as well as an email from the pharmacy, that the prescription in question is due for a refill. Since it’s Friday at three pm, I figure I’ll just pay the cash price for it this month and call my insurance company next week. I click the link in the email to refill and go back to work. An hour later, I get a text update saying the prescription has been put on hold. I call my pharmacy.)

Me: “Hi. My name is [My Name], and I’m calling regarding my prescription I just sent for a refill.”

Rep #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Sure, I’ll look at that… Oh, it looks like your insurance won’t cover it for whatever reason.”

Me: “I know. I’ll just pay the cash price this month. How much will it be?”

Rep #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : *timidly* “[Amount].”

Me: “Okay, that’s fine. When can I pick it up?”

Rep #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “You’re going to pay it?”

Me: “Well, sure. What other option do I have?”

Rep #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Oh… okay! I’ll finish it up for you. It should be ready in thirty minutes.”

Me: “Great. Thanks!”

(After I get out of work, I stop by the pharmacy. There’s a different rep behind the counter.)

Me: “Hi, I’m [My Name], and I believe there’s one prescription ready for me.”

Rep #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Okay, I see that here. Hmm… looks like there’s a copay.”

Me: “I know.”

Rep #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “There shouldn’t be.”

Me: “They already told me. [Amount], right?”

Rep #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Let me look into this.”

Me: “It’s okay. My insurance company screwed up. I’ll call them on Monday.”

Rep #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “You shouldn’t have to pay for this. There’s never a copay on [prescription].”

Me: *slightly irritated that he just announced what I’m taking to the entire pharmacy* “It’s fine. Really. Can I just pay?”

Rep #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “I can give you a discount.”

Me: “The copay’s not that bad. It’s been a long day and I’d really like to pay and go home.”

Rep #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “If you’re sure… Okay, I’ll put it in. I’ll even throw on that discount. If you want to have a seat, I’ll holler when it’s ready.”

Me: “Uh… the lady I talked to earlier said it’d be ready by now.”

Rep #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “No, we were waiting until you stopped in. It’ll only be about twenty minutes.”

(I’m extremely annoyed now, but I’m trying my best not to show it.)

Me: “Look, I’ll just come back tomorrow. No problem.”

Rep #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “It’s only twenty minutes. Maybe less!”

(I wave and walk out. I drive back over the next day, where there is yet another rep behind the counter.)

Me: “Hi, I’m [My Name], and there should be one ready for me.”

Rep #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “Yes, it’s filled and ready to go. One minute while I grab it!”

(He grabs it and starts ringing me out.)

Rep #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “Oh, um… I need to get the pharmacist. Something isn’t correct.”

Me: “If it’s the copay, I know about it! It’s not an issue!”

([Rep #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) ] disappears into the back. I throw up my hands in frustration. He comes back out a few minutes later.)

Rep #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “There’s a copay on this. There shouldn’t be. We can look into this for you.”

Me: “LISTEN TO ME. You are the third person that I’ve explained this to. I know about the copay. It’s fine. My insurance company screwed up. All I want to do is pay and go home!”

Rep #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “I apologize for the issue. I don’t know what happened with your insurance… Hold on. Did you say you are going to pay?!”

Me: *through gritted teeth* “YES.”

Rep #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “Oh. OH! Yes, I’d be happy to process that for you! No problem!”

(I can only imagine how many temper tantrums people have thrown over copays to prompt that reaction from THREE pharmacy techs!)

florida80
04-23-2021, 19:59
Death Is A Pre-Existing Condition
BIZARRE, FUNNY NAMES, GERMANY, INSURANCE, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, RECEPTION | HEALTHY | MARCH 13, 2019
(I work for an insurance company. When people forget or lose their insurance cards, the doctor’s office often calls us to confirm if the insurance is up and running. I get one of these calls.)

Receptionist: “I am calling to confirm the insurance of a patient. It’s [Patient], born [date], living at [address].”

(I look up the data, double checking that I am really talking to a doctor’s office.)

Me: “Yeah, he was insured with us up to [date a few months in the past].”

Receptionist: “Well, do you know where he is insured now? He is sitting here, waiting for treatment.”

Me: “What do you mean, he is sitting there? According to my information, he died a few months ago.”

(Turns out, the doctor had two patients with the same name and birthday, and both were insured with us. And the receptionist called up the file just using that information. Only after we asked the patient for his address did we confirm that he was the other patient. I still wonder what went through his mind when the receptionist told him, “I have your insurance on the line; they say you’re dead.”)

florida80
04-23-2021, 20:00
Time To Take A Breather
BIZARRE, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 13, 2019
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(I am a medical assistant in a community health clinic, with a fully-stocked retail pharmacy on the premises. This patient uses our pharmacy and has been put on a strict refill schedule for his emergency inhalers due to extreme overuse. Normal use is a maximum of two of each per month. He had gone through nine of [Inhaler #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] in two months before the pharmacist contacted the doctor. The pharmacists have counseled him multiple times on proper use, and I’ve reached out multiple times to offer an appointment to address the root cause of his trouble breathing. He declines every time, claiming he needs his inhalers to breathe, that he’s going to have a coronary without them, and that we just want him to not be able to get enough oxygen. Every time I hear this rant, I note that it is extremely long-winded and that he can get through multiple run-on sentences without having to take a breath. His doctor has even called him personally to lay down the refill schedule and explain the cardiac-related consequences of continued overuse. I receive a voicemail from this patient, in which he goes on with another long-winded rant about how the doctor NEEDS to refill his medication. Because of a very well-documented refill schedule and the doctor’s notes that he will NOT refill early under any circumstance, as well as previous in-person discussions with this doctor about this patient, I don’t even need to ask the doctor to advise on the situation. I see that one [Inhaler #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] should be available for a refill, but [Inhaler #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] won’t be available for another week and a half; he’s literally filled it just a few days ago! I call the patient. This is part of the way into the call, and yes, he is yelling the entire time.)

Me: “With all due respect, the inhalers are only treating your symptoms. Continuing to use them at the rate you were doing so puts you at serious risk for a cardiac event, including a heart attack—“

Patient: “NOT GIVING ME MY INHALERS PUTS ME AT A RISK FOR A CORONARY BECAUSE I’M NOT GETTING ENOUGH OXYGEN. YOU PEOPLE JUST DON’T WANT ME TO BREATHE!”

Me: “Sir, we don’t want you to have a coronary, either, which is why we want to address the root cause of your condition.”

Patient: “NO. YOU STOP THERE. JUST TELL THE DOCTOR THAT HE NEEDS TO MAKE THE PHARMACIST FILL MY PRESCRIPTION! THEN THE PHARMACIST FILL BE REQUIRED TO FILL IT!”

Me: “[Doctor] can’t make the pharmacist do anything.”

Patient: “YES, HE CAN! ONCE HE WRITES THE PRESCRIPTION THE PHARMACIST IS REQUIRED BY LAW TO FILL IT!”

Me: “Sir, [Doctor] is a doctor; he is not a supervising pharmacist. He can only write the prescription. Pharmacies are allowed, by law, to question and even deny prescriptions at their own discretion for patient safety.”

Patient: “DON’T YOU INSULT MY INTELLIGENCE!”

(He didn’t get his inhaler refilled early. I later went down to the pharmacy and told the supervising pharmacist. He found it even funnier than I did!)

florida80
04-26-2021, 19:51
Time To Take A Breather
BIZARRE, JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 13, 2019
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(I am a medical assistant in a community health clinic, with a fully-stocked retail pharmacy on the premises. This patient uses our pharmacy and has been put on a strict refill schedule for his emergency inhalers due to extreme overuse. Normal use is a maximum of two of each per month. He had gone through nine of [Inhaler #1] in two months before the pharmacist contacted the doctor. The pharmacists have counseled him multiple times on proper use, and I’ve reached out multiple times to offer an appointment to address the root cause of his trouble breathing. He declines every time, claiming he needs his inhalers to breathe, that he’s going to have a coronary without them, and that we just want him to not be able to get enough oxygen. Every time I hear this rant, I note that it is extremely long-winded and that he can get through multiple run-on sentences without having to take a breath. His doctor has even called him personally to lay down the refill schedule and explain the cardiac-related consequences of continued overuse. I receive a voicemail from this patient, in which he goes on with another long-winded rant about how the doctor NEEDS to refill his medication. Because of a very well-documented refill schedule and the doctor’s notes that he will NOT refill early under any circumstance, as well as previous in-person discussions with this doctor about this patient, I don’t even need to ask the doctor to advise on the situation. I see that one [Inhaler #2] should be available for a refill, but [Inhaler #1] won’t be available for another week and a half; he’s literally filled it just a few days ago! I call the patient. This is part of the way into the call, and yes, he is yelling the entire time.)

Me: “With all due respect, the inhalers are only treating your symptoms. Continuing to use them at the rate you were doing so puts you at serious risk for a cardiac event, including a heart attack—“

Patient: “NOT GIVING ME MY INHALERS PUTS ME AT A RISK FOR A CORONARY BECAUSE I’M NOT GETTING ENOUGH OXYGEN. YOU PEOPLE JUST DON’T WANT ME TO BREATHE!”

Me: “Sir, we don’t want you to have a coronary, either, which is why we want to address the root cause of your condition.”

Patient: “NO. YOU STOP THERE. JUST TELL THE DOCTOR THAT HE NEEDS TO MAKE THE PHARMACIST FILL MY PRESCRIPTION! THEN THE PHARMACIST FILL BE REQUIRED TO FILL IT!”

Me: “[Doctor] can’t make the pharmacist do anything.”

Patient: “YES, HE CAN! ONCE HE WRITES THE PRESCRIPTION THE PHARMACIST IS REQUIRED BY LAW TO FILL IT!”

Me: “Sir, [Doctor] is a doctor; he is not a supervising pharmacist. He can only write the prescription. Pharmacies are allowed, by law, to question and even deny prescriptions at their own discretion for patient safety.”

Patient: “DON’T YOU INSULT MY INTELLIGENCE!”

(He didn’t get his inhaler refilled early. I later went down to the pharmacy and told the supervising pharmacist. He found it even funnier than I did!)

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:00
An Urgent Need For Details
MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, STUPID, UK | HEALTHY | MARCH 12, 2019
(In the UK, doctor appointments are generally booked in advance, although there are a few reserved for people who phone on the day for emergencies. The phone rings.)

Me: “Good morning, medical centre.”

Patient: “I’d like to make an appointment with a doctor, please.”

Me: “Okay, if it’s urgent, I can fit you in today, or if it’s not urgent I have an appointment in two days.”

Patient: “I don’t know if it’s urgent or not.”

Me: “Okay, well, if you give me a brief idea of what it’s concerning, I can help you decide.”

Patient: “It’s private. I’ll only discuss it with a doctor.”

Me: “Okay, fair enough. So, did you need an urgent appointment or can it wait a few days?”

Patient: “I’ve told you I don’t know if it’s urgent or not!”

Me: “As I’ve said, if you give me some idea of what it’s concerning—“

Patient: *interrupting* “It’s private! I’m not telling the receptionist!”

Me: “That’s fair enough but then I need you to tell me whether or not it’s urgent.”

Patient: “How many times?! I don’t know!”

Me: “Okay, I’ll give an example. If it’s just something like a sick note–”

Patient: *interrupting again getting increasingly angry* “I don’t need a sick note!”

Me: “It was just an example to help explain the difference between urgent and non-urgent appointments. If you don’t tell me which you need, I can’t book you in.”

Patient: “Well, how am I supposed to know if it’s urgent or not if you won’t tell me?!”

(They then hung up without ever having booked an appointment, or even given their name. I guess it wasn’t that urgent after all.)

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:00
A Rags To Rashes Story
LABORATORY, NON-DIALOGUE, SAFETY, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 12, 2019
My dad likes to share this story of when he worked in a science lab.

There were massive security protocols in place for everything, but one day, a pile of what looked like rags was left in a high-traffic area. People were basically forced to step on the rags to walk through. Nobody seemed to be paying attention to them, or be concerned that they were just lying there.

My dad saw them when he arrived for the day and was finally the one who followed protocol and called it in.

Apparently, the response was something to behold. The lab was shut down. Nobody in the entire lab facility was allowed to leave until they went through thorough decontamination; since it was a high-traffic area, basically everyone had to be considered “exposed” to… whatever it was. Their clothes and shoes were confiscated. People in Hazmat suits came, collected the rags, shut down the wing for decontamination, and left everyone sitting around for hours, unable to do anything or leave.

At the end of the day, an all-clear was given: “We’ve determined that there’s no contamination or exposure from the rags. However, if anyone develops a fungus-like infection or rash, please report it immediately.”

My dad commented, “That’s so comforting to hear.”

The entire staff got to be dragged in for a refresher on safety protocols and “why we don’t just walk through a potential contamination hazard.”

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:00
The Hotel D’Mentia
ASSISTED LIVING, GOLDEN YEARS, PATIENTS, THE NETHERLANDS | HEALTHY | MARCH 11, 2019
(This happens when I am just 17 years old. I get a summer job, one of my first jobs ever, in a retirement home serving coffee and tea in the public living room during the afternoons. This interaction happens with one of the residents. She has Alzheimer’s but I do not know that at the time, and it is one of my first times interacting with someone in that condition.)

Elderly Lady: *very politely* “May I inquire if it is possible for me to stay in the same room one more night?”

Me: *a bit confused, since she lives here* “Um, this is not a hotel, so your room is yours, of course.”

Elderly Lady: “No, I booked a room here and I would like to pay for one more night’s stay, please.”

Me: *still confused* “But this is a retirement home; you live here.”

Elderly Lady: *suddenly a bit shocked and looking around* “Oh, my gosh. I am so sorry; I am in the wrong place! I will go to my sister’s house and stay with her tonight. Thank you.”

(With that, she walks out of the building and leaves me very confused and worried! I realize that this lady does not seem to have a full grasp of the present or reality and I go to find a nurse. I am worried the lady will get lost or injured. The nurse laughs and knows who I am talking about. She says that the lady will come back eventually by herself, as usual. I continue with my tasks but am still worried. When I am almost done with my shift, who would walk in but the elderly lady from before! I immediately walk up to her.)

Elderly Lady: *very politely* “Excuse me. I cannot seem to locate my sister’s house. May I inquire if it is possible for me to stay in the same room one more night?”

Me: “Of course, madam. Your room is ready for you; it is the same room as usual. You are welcome to stay as long as you like.”

Elderly Lady: *enormous smile on her face* “Why, thank you, miss. Such good service. I always enjoy staying here.”

(With that, she happily went to her room. I was so relieved she managed to come back. There was no benefit or point in arguing with her and trying to make her understand her circumstances; it would only make her feel scared, confused, and miserable. I felt that that would just be mean.)

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:01
An Ambulatory Story
EDITORS' CHOICE, HOSPITAL, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PATIENTS, STUPID, UK | HEALTHY | MARCH 11, 2019
(A friend of mine has had problems with a stomach ulcer for some time. Today it’s causing a lot of pain, so he goes into A&E to get it checked.)

A&E Receptionist: “Since you haven’t been to the hospital with this problem for over a year, you need a referral from your doctor in order to be seen.”

(He then leaves, but sits in the car still in the hospital car park to phone the GP.)

GP: “Well, I can refer you, but if the pain is that bad you need to phone [non-emergency urgent care line] to get an appointment straight away.”

(He phones this number and explains all of the symptoms.)

Call Handler: “With the symptoms you’ve explained, you need to be seen straight away. We’ll send an ambulance on blue lights to you now.”

Friend: “I’m in the hospital car park; I can walk to A&E from here.”

Call Handler: “No, absolutely no walking there. We’ll send you an ambulance.”

Friend: “I’m in the hospital car park! I don’t need an ambulance!”

Call Handler: “With your symptoms, you must be transported to the hospital via an ambulance. It’s not safe for you to get yourself there.”

Friend: “I can see three ambulances from here! I can go and over and sit in one if it makes you feel better!”

(They did eventually consent to allowing him to walk the 50 feet back into the hospital himself.)

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:02
Take A Breath And Think About It
CALIFORNIA, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 9, 2019
(I work at a sleep clinic work with people who have sleep disorders such as apnea and Hypopnea. These disorders, in a nutshell, make a person stop breathing or breathe so shallowly the oxygen in their blood is affected like with apnea. And I get this almost every time I’m working when I put CPAP on a patient!)

Patient: “Excuse me, miss? I can’t breathe with this thing on!”

Me: *after seeing them stop breathing for almost a minute* “Well, you aren’t breathing with it off, either.”

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:02
You’ve Got Male, But Not Babies
BIGOTRY, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, PATIENTS, UK, WALES | HEALTHY | MARCH 7, 2019
(I am a trans guy, currently at the doctor’s office for an ear infection. The person I’m seeing about it is the nurse practitioner, our practice’s head nurse.)

Nurse: “Are you sexually active?”

Me: “Yes.”

Nurse: “Is there a chance you could be pregnant?”

Me: “Nope.”

Nurse: “I know your partner is male; you could be pregnant.”

Me: “I’m not.”

Nurse: “Just because you think you’re a man, that doesn’t mean you can’t get pregnant.”

Me: “Not pregnant.”

Nurse: “You still have female anatomy. Quit pretending you don’t. All you people are like this, thinking you can’t get pregnant because you think you’re not a girl. I’m giving you a pregnancy test.”

Me: “I had a hysterectomy last year; my medical records are in front of you.”

Nurse: “That doesn’t matter. You people are all like this. I’m giving you a pregnancy test.”

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:03
Having A Hard Time Understanding
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 5, 2019
(I work in a hospital laboratory. One of the tests we do is clotting times in order to monitor dosages of blood thinners. Basically, we do some magic with the blood, and the machine counts the seconds until the specimen is clotted, hence “clotting times.”)

Doctor: *on the phone* “Hey, do you have the results for [test] yet?”

Me: “Nope, but it’s running right now.”

Doctor: “Well, do you have any idea how much longer it’s going to be? The patient is waiting on their next dose.”

Me: “If I knew how much longer it would take, I’d have the results.”

Doctor: “Huh?”

Me: “[Test] is measured in time. The unit of measure is seconds.”

Doctor: “Oh. Well, carry on, then.”

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:03
That’s Not How Not Working Works
LIARS/SCAMMERS, MEDICAL OFFICE, TEXAS, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 3, 2019
(I work at a multi-doctor cardiology office as a receptionist. This story comes directly from my coworker, who sits beside my station.)

Coworker: “Thank you for calling [Clinic]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I have a return-to-work form that needs to be filled out. Can your doctor get it done for me today?”

Coworker: “Which doctor do you see at our office?”

Caller: “I don’t see anyone up there.”

Coworker: “You would have to be a patient up here for any of the doctors to fill out.”

Caller: “So, they can’t fill it out for me?”

Coworker: “No, you’re not a patient here. They wouldn’t know if you can return to work or not.”

Caller: “Well, can I see one of the doctors today?”

Coworker: “They wouldn’t be able to see you today, no. What do you need the signature for, anyway?”

Caller: “I hurt my leg.”

Coworker: “I don’t think a cardiologist can sign on a leg injury unless it’s vein related. You may need your primary doctor to sign it.”

Caller: “I don’t have a doctor. I just wanted someone to sign my letter so I don’t have to work.”

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:04
Medicine Prices Can Wind You
HEALTH & BODY, NON-DIALOGUE, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, REVOLTING, SILLY, USA | HEALTHY | MARCH 1, 2019
I had been having horrible stomach cramps, to the point where I could barely stand. I’ve already had my appendix removed, so my doctor ran a few other tests and determined the pain was from a bowel obstruction. He sent me home with instructions to drink more water and take a laxative and some OTC pain killers.

While waiting in the checkout line with my purchase, several waves of cramps came over me and I started seeing stars. The cashier saw me start to stumble and called for help. More stars appeared before the pain became so intense I passed out.

When I regained consciousness, there was a crowd surrounding me with a mixture of emotions on their faces. Some were concerned, others embarrassed, and others looked like they were trying not to laugh, but none of them are looking at me. I started to sit up and the associate closest to me — the pharmacist who helped me pick my laxative — told me to stay still and wait for the ambulance to arrive.

I asked what happened and the pharmacist blushed deeper. I looked down to make sure I hadn’t lost control of my bladder. I hadn’t, but then I realized my stomach didn’t hurt as much anymore. I made that comment aloud, and some of the crowd laughed. A man from the crowd leaned in and told me that when I hit the floor, I’d released the biggest, loudest, longest fart he’d ever heard out of any human being.

The people gathered around were obviously there to see how I handled the news of my flatulent faux pas. I was terribly embarrassed, but I was also so relieved that I wasn’t in pain anymore, I just laughed until I cried. The ambulance arrived shortly thereafter and gave me the okay to go home. I apologized to everyone in the vicinity and told them I hoped the rest of their day went better than mine.

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:06
Brace Yourself; Parents Are Coming
DENTIST, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, JERK, PATIENTS, TEXAS, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 28, 2019
(I’m a dental assistant at an orthodontics office where we have several locations, but we switch between locations daily. It’s planned out months in advance for scheduling purposes which doctors and team will be at which location. I’m covering phones for some girls that work front desk because the assistants don’t have any patients when this goes down over the phone. A patient’s Momzilla calls.)

Mom: “My son has a broken bracket again. I need an appointment for today to fix it.”

Me: “All right, well, we’re pretty slow for the next few hours at [location], but if you can come in before the afternoon we can see him.”

(I get the patient info to look at the chart and schedule her son.)

Mom: “You make sure the doctor knows this is an emergency. I have had to come in twelve times already to fix multiple brackets, and he only got his braces on five months ago. This is ridiculous; you all are supposed to know what you’re actually doing there. I’ll be at [location that’s closed] in an hour.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that, but [location I’m at] is the one that’s open today.”

Mom: “What? That doesn’t work for me. Didn’t you hear me say this is an emergency? Tell the doctor to come to this office for my son.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we will be getting busy soon, and our doctor can’t just leave for another location. If you can make it to this one today, I’ll schedule that walk-in, but it’s Friday, and the next day we have appointments at that location isn’t until Wednesday.”

Mom: “YOU ARE THE WORST OFFICE IVE EVER DEALT WITH! WEDNESDAY IS TOO FAR AWAY!”

Me: “Okay, well, maybe you should stop letting him have what looks like taffy and caramel popcorn, which we told you he is not allowed to have because it can break his brackets or wire. I assisted the doctor the last three times your son was in, and he also can’t brush out all the bits of those foods from his back teeth, so at this point, there’s nothing we can do if you can’t listen to simple directions.”

(The mom hung up on me, and later called and told the front desk girls that it was no big deal, and they’d just come in on Wednesday.)

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:07
Men Are Stupid
COFFEE SHOP, ENGLAND, NURSES, STUPID, UK | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 26, 2019
(I am a male nurse. On my coat is my “Man of Men” pin badge in support of Prostate Cancer UK, since my partner had surgery for prostate cancer in 2018. The badge is of a male stick figure with a smaller male figure within it. Whilst taking my order, a young male barista sees the badge and says:)

Barista: “That badge is really cool; what does it mean?”

Me: “It’s from Prostate Cancer UK. Did you know that it’s the biggest cause of death in men now? Since my partner was diagnosed, I’m keen to support the cause.”

Barista: “Wow… I wonder why it affects so many more men, then?”

Me: “Erm…”

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:07
It’s An Inherited Condition
MEDICAL OFFICE, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, PATIENTS, SILLY, SWEDEN | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 25, 2019
(I am a family doctor. A man in his thirties books an appointment because he has felt so extremely tired the last three years. It turns out he has got a job that requires a thorough physical test every year, and he just recently passed one of them, so I am a bit confused about the situation with the extreme tiredness that has lasted so long. I order some standard blood tests just to be sure and continue my conversation with the man.)

Me: “And how does your family situation look?”

Patient: “Well, I got a wife and two kids.”

Me: “All right, and how old are the kids?”

Patient: “Two and three years old.”

(The diagnosis turned out to be parenthood.)

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:08
Can’t See Why Some People Become Parents
BAD BEHAVIOR, GERMANY, MEDICAL OFFICE, OPTOMETRIST/OPTICIAN, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, STUPID | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 24, 2019
(Ophthalmologist’s offices in Germany have a rotating system of which office has to stay open for emergencies on the weekends. Today, it’s our office’s turn and I’m manning the front desk. A couple comes in with their five-year-old daughter. She has a very red eye and says it hurts a lot. I take their info and ask how long she’s had those symptoms.)

Mother: “I think since this afternoon — a couple of hours, maybe.”

Me: “Okay. Did something happen? Did she get something in her eye?”

Mother: “I don’t think so; I was watching her all the time.”

(The mother looks a little annoyed at my questioning and the father just nods, apathetic. I give some numbing eye drops to the girl to ease the pain and send her right to the doctor. My coworker follows in, only to come back out some minutes later looking rather angry.)

Coworker: “Guess what? This girl has a metal splinter burnt into her cornea.”

Me: “She has what?”

Coworker: “Yes, her father let her watch him using the angle grinder without safety goggles.”

Me: “And he didn’t think that might be kind of… dangerous?”

Coworker: “Apparently not. I’m getting the instruments to get the splinter out.”

(My coworker goes back in to the doctor and they start trying to get the metal out. After a while, the couple and the girl storm past me out of the door, the mother looking angry, the girl rather relieved with a patch on her eye, and the father pouting. My coworker and the doctor come out right behind, looking exhausted.)

Coworker: “WOOOOOW!”

Me: “What happened?”

Doctor: “The girl was wriggling all. The. Time. [Coworker] couldn’t hold her by herself, so I asked the mother to hold the girl, too. When I was just about to pick the splinter out, the mother let her wiggling daughter go and said, ‘Oh, no, I almost got a cramp in my hand,’ and I was thinking, ‘Oh, no, I almost impaled your daughter’s eye, but good for you that you didn’t get a cramp!’”

Me: “What caring parents this girl has…”

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:08
Keeping Your Patients Straight Is Harder Than It Looks
HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 23, 2019
(I’m getting an x-ray done of my back for a suspected back fracture. Essentially, I am in so much pain I can’t stand straight; I’m sort of bending over and favoring one side. The technician is setting me up by the machine but frowns.)

Technician: “Can you stand up straight? We aren’t going to get a clear picture this way.”

Me: *wincing, gasping in pain as I clearly struggle to even stand up* “No?”

Technician: “Oh… Right.”

(She figured out another way.)

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:09
The Patient Is Gluten-Free; The Doctor Is Brain-Free
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, MEDICAL OFFICE, TEXAS, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 22, 2019
(I’ve been suffering from chronic pain and fatigue for years, and my GP refers me to a rheumatologist following some concerning test results. I’m in my mid-twenties and walking with a limp.)

Doctor: “You were referred to me because of your test results, but this test often shows false positives. You probably have nothing to worry about. I’ll order you a new series of blood tests. Now, you indicated that you’re in pain. Where does it hurt the most?”

Me: “It varies; some days it hurts–”

Doctor: *interrupting* “Where does it hurt the most right now?”

Me: “Um… here.” *point at my leg* “But the pain moves around. Sometimes it hurts my jaw, my neck, my shoulders… As I wrote on the forms, it’s sort of all over. It makes it difficult to exercise, to cook, or even to write.”

Doctor: *looking at my leg* “It’s probably just a pinched nerve.” *glancing down* “You indicated that you have psoriasis. Is that it?”

(She leans forward without warning and pokes at a patch of dry skin on my leg.)

Doctor: “Does that hurt? It looks bad.”

Me: “Um… No. It itches sometimes, but it’s pretty mild.”

Doctor: “It doesn’t look like psoriasis. When were you diagnosed?”

Me: “When I was a kid, maybe ten or so?”

Doctor: “And what did your dermatologist say at the time?”

Me: “Um… I was ten, so… I don’t really…?”

Doctor: “You should see your dermatologist. And a neurologist for your back pain. I see here that you’re trying a gluten-free diet? That should help with the pain, and your weight, too.”

Me: “I’m not… What?” *confused* “I’m not ‘trying’ a gluten-free diet. I’m gluten-intolerant. I’ve been gluten-free for over a year.”

Doctor: “Right, it should help. Your pain should decrease, and you should start losing weight.”

Me: *frustrated* “As I said, I stopped eating gluten a year ago. It did help. A lot of my fatigue and stomach issues went away. But if it was going to help with the pain, I think it would have done it by now.”

Doctor: “Well, I think you’ll start to see the benefits soon. Anyway, go to our lab. I’m sure we’ll find that you have nothing to worry about.”

(I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis, an autoimmune disease related to psoriasis. I decided to transfer to a different doctor. I requested a copy of my records to send over, and what I read there only strengthened my decision, since her only notes from that appointment said that I was experiencing minor pain and that I should go on a low-carb diet.)

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:09
Good Thing Stupidity Isn’t Contagious, Either
ARKANSAS, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 21, 2019
(My wife has been under the weather for a while. They send her home early from work one day, so I take her to our favourite urgent care clinic. They did really well when she had pneumonia last spring, so we have no reason to doubt their abilities this year. But… the nurse is inattentive. She walks in, sits down, doesn’t look up from her laptop while taking history, and then flees as soon as she can. In meanders the “doctor,” a nurse practitioner. I’m sure there are good ones out there, but I’ve yet to meet a truly competent one. He checks her ears, throat, and breathing, all from the outside. I don’t recall him actually looking in her mouth once. We tell him she’s sneezing blood, vomiting mucus, and having intense sinus pressure.)

Practitioner: “Sounds like an asthma flare-up to me.”

Me: *incredulous* “Asthma attacks cause sinus pressure, pain, and vomiting?!”

Practitioner: “Okay, with a minor sinus infection.”

Me: “Really?!”

Practitioner: “We’ll send over an antibiotic and a steroid and give her a shot.”

Me: “For asthma?”

(He is dismissive of my concerns and leaves. One week later, my throat is swollen and sore and I can barely speak. My wife, feeling a little better than me, calls the clinic.)

Wife: “I was in last week and saw your nurse practitioner. He said I was just having an asthma flare-up, but now my wife has it! I didn’t know asthma was contagious.” *pause* “He’s an idiot and you should screen your people better.” *pause* “No. Screen your people. Make sure they know what they’re talking about when they see someone.” *click*

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:10
That Is Off The Charts
HOSPITAL, NON-DIALOGUE, NURSES, OHIO, PATIENTS, STUPID | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 21, 2019
I’m an RN who previously worked in a hospital unit where we dealt with concussions. This is the best thing I’ve ever written in a patient’s chart:

“Patient educated on not riding with chainsaw in the uplifted bucket of the Bobcat.”

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:10
Doctors Have Homes?!
HOSPITAL, IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 20, 2019
(I am a resident on long call, staying after all of the other residents leave at 5:00 pm and admitting patients until the night team takes over. Near 8:00 pm, I get a call from the emergency department to admit a patient who was brought from her primary care provider’s office. Her condition is not that serious and she is generally pleasant, except for one thing:)

Patient: “[Attending Doctor] promised me that he would meet me right when I arrived!”

Me: “Oh? When did you speak with him?”

Patient: “When I was in the clinic.”

(Note that that was six or seven hours ago.)

Me: “Oh, well, the ambulance company never tells us a time of arrival, and it sounds like yours was pretty delayed. And the ED doesn’t tell every attending doctor when they admit a patient. [Attending Doctor] likely isn’t at the hospital anymore, but I’m sure he would have been here if he had known what time you were coming.”

Patient: “But he promised that he would be here waiting for me when I arrived!”

(She brought it up over and over again, making sure to interject it after each question she answered. I was a little taken aback by how fixated she was on this, especially considering how calm she was about her actual medical condition, and also by the fact that she assumed doctors don’t have lives and spend all of their copious free time at the hospital instead of with, I don’t know, their families? It turns out [Attending Doctor] was at a meeting and he drove back to the hospital to see the patient when it was done. I’m sure the patient was still upset that he did not use his psychic powers to know the exact time she arrived so he could be at the emergency department doors to greet her.)

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:10
Avoid Taking These, But When You Do… Go Crazy!
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, MEDICAL OFFICE, STUPID, SWEDEN | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 19, 2019
(I typically never get ill, but when I do catch a bad cold, I tend to get pink eye, an ear infection, and a sinus infection all at once. This happens between Christmas and New Year’s about ten years ago. I’m miserable and decide I need to see a doctor to get some antibiotics. I go to my local health center, but since it is holiday time, my normal doctor is not there. Instead, a temp doctor sees me. At the time I am very overweight.)

Doctor: “You know, you could benefit from losing a few kilos!”

(As if I didn’t know!)

Me: “Okay, but what about my cold?”

Doctor: *while listening to my lungs* “You have really light skin and a lot of birthmarks. Make sure you use sunscreen!”

Me: “Okay, but do I need antibiotics?”

Doctor: “Mmm, but we should only take antibiotics if it is absolutely unavoidable. I’ll give you a prescription, but don’t use it unless you don’t get better in a few days!”

Me: “Fair enough!”

Doctor: *looking through his big book of drugs* “So, how many pills do you need?”

(Yeah, he is serious. He asks me what the dosage is. Then, he calculates from my weight that I should have 21 pills per day! When I protest, he becomes irritated and snarky and gives me the largest dosage in the book.)

Doctor: “Are you happy now? “

(Eh, yeah. Sure! I just left as soon as I could. A few days later, I needed those pills, as I wasn’t getting better. When I spoke to the pharmacy, they were horrified to hear about the 21-pill dosage. They said that they would never, EVER have given me that much. Later, I returned to my regular doctor for a follow-up, and he was just as horrified. He also told me that the dosage I did get was what they give to bad cases of pneumonia. So, yeah, I was cured, but my doctor said that they would never use that doctor again.)

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:11
In A Spot Of Bother
BAD BEHAVIOR, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, MEDICAL OFFICE, OKLAHOMA, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 19, 2019
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

(For a month or so, I’ve had a very small lump right at the base of my hairline on my neck. I don’t worry too much about it, as it doesn’t seem to be growing and isn’t painful at all, until one day it very suddenly floods with blood, like a blood blister. I have a very strong family history of melanoma, so anything on my skin that changes color rapidly is cause for alarm, so the next morning I go to the emergency clinic for an opinion as they are the ones that will see me the soonest.)

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Okay, let’s have a look

Me: *tipping my head to show him the lump* “It was the same color as my skin before last night when it turned red like that.”

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Hmm… Well, it sort of just looks like you may have broken a capillary, but because of that, it’s a bit hard to see what might be under it… Oh, and what’s all that?”

(He points to my shoulder, which is healing up after a nasty acne breakout)

Me: “Oh, I went and visited my home state a week ago; I always break out something awful while I’m there, and it’s just healing up. And besides, the lump was there before then.”

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Hmm… Well, I think we should still get you on something for that. That lump could still be acne-related.”

(This seems reasonable enough, so he prescribes me an oral medication for acne and a cream for topical use. He tells me to use both for three days and then come back to check the progress. I do so, and when I return we have the following conversation)

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Oh, your shoulder looks much better!”

Me: “Er… Yeah, well, it’s had a few more days to heal.”

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “So, we should definitely keep you on the acne medication.”

Me: *pause* “Sure.” *with no intention of actually keeping up the entirely pointless medication* “But that lump hasn’t reacted at all.”

(He checks to see that I’m correct)

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Huh! Well, then, do you want it off?”

Me: “Well… I mean, I don’t know what it is.”

Doctor: “Oh, well, that’s called a nevi. It’s just a harmless skin growth for the most part, but given your family history of skin cancer, I very strongly suggest you get it removed.”

Me: “Well… All right…”

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Great! I’ll be right back!”

(He does the procedure right then — which is not fun, by the way — burning off the “nevi” with an electrical current. I’m honestly a bit hesitant, but I don’t want to be that patient that insists I know more than a medical professional. After he’s done, he starts poking me in the shoulder.)

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Oh, what’s this here? You should really get this looked at, too.”

(I think about the spot he’s poking. It’s what I know for a fact is a completely benign mole. It’s perfectly healthy and I’ve had it for ages, and I’m beginning to suspect that this doctor is just of the opinion that I shouldn’t have any sort of blemish anywhere on me.)

Me: “Er… Thanks, but I think we’ll leave that one alone.”

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Are you sure? I really think you should have it looked at.”

Me: *now feeling even more uneasy about the whole thing* “I’ll keep that in mind, but I think we’re done for today.”

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “All right, suit yourself!”

(I go home and let the burn start to heal, but I also look up the word, “nevi.” It means, “mole.” I cannot express how much my complaint was NOT a mole. I kick myself for letting this guy burn whatever it was off, but it quickly becomes apparent that what he ACTUALLY did was burn off the layer of skin covering whatever was causing my complaint. There’s still a bump there, and now it’s much more obvious as it’s turned into a bright red nodule. I do the thing you’re not supposed to do and start Googling, as I figure I can’t cause more harm by looking things up. The theory I land on is that the bump is actually an inflamed lymph node — which I did not previously know could be that near the surface — reacting to some previously unnoticed infection. This is further backed up when, after about another week, I start noticing some more lumps further under the skin, as well as developing a headache localized to that side of my head. Finally, I make an actual appointment at my regular doctor’s office and explain the whole story to him. He actually stares at me for a moment after I tell the story.)

Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “He… he tried to burn it off?”

Me: “Yes. So, you know, that particular lump is going to look especially bad, so you might want to look at the others for better reference.”

Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Yeah, I’d better.”

(He comes to the exact same conclusion I did, and further traces the issue to a tooth I was preparing to have a crown put on. I hadn’t connected the two because, while the tooth definitely needs work, it wasn’t really painful so I wouldn’t have thought it was infected)

Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Okay, so… we’re not going to be, you know, giving you any freaking creams for this because, you know, they’re your lymph nodes… I just… God!”

Me: “Yeah, I figured not. Antibiotics, then?”

Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Yes. And we’ll do some blood work too… I just…. He tried to burn off your lymph node!”

(I left feeling rather vindicated, and as of writing this up, my lymph nodes have finally started settling down, and my headache is gone. Would have been nice not to have a chunk of my neck burnt off first, though.)

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:11
Sick Of Puns
HOSPITAL, INDIANA, NURSES, PUNNY, SCHOOL, SILLY, TEACHERS, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 18, 2019
(This happens to my dad when he is going back to nursing school in his sixties — a story in itself! One time a senior nursing instructor visits the class to give a “very important” presentation. This happens in the late 2000s, and both bird flu and swine flu are of major concern at the time as potential pandemics.)

Senior Instructor: *solemnly, and with a completely straight face* “I need to teach you how to recognize the difference between swine flu and bird flu. If it’s bird flu, you need a tweetment. If it’s swine flu, you need an oinkment!”

(The entire class just about busted a gut laughing. My dad said in his entire time in nursing school, this particular instructor was always taciturn and businesslike and NEVER showed this sort of levity, except on this one remarkable occasion.)

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:12
So Many Optometrists But They Can’t See What’s Happening
BAD BEHAVIOR, MAINE, MEDICAL OFFICE, RECEPTION, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 17, 2019
(My family and I have been going to the same optometrist, a family friend who grew up with my father, for as long as I can remember. He finally retires after around 50 years and sells his business to a local chain optometry company. I get one final exam in with my regular optometrist, about five months before he retires, and I run out of contact lenses around two months after he retires. I call up his old office, now owned and operated by the chain and of whom I am now a patient, to order more.)

Me: “Hi. This is [My Name]; I was a patient of [Optometrist]. I’d like to order more contacts.”

Receptionist: “Of course. But before we can order more contacts for you, we’ll need you to come in for an exam.”

Me: “Uh… I’m sorry, why?”

Receptionist: “Your prescription is out of date.”

Me: “I just had my last exam seven or eight months ago. Why do I need another one?”

Receptionist: “Because you are a new patient; the optometrist has to see you before he can order your contacts.”

Me: “Okay… How much is an exam?”

Receptionist: “It will be [amount].”

(My old optometrist charged a little more than half the price that was quoted to me. My vision insurance only covers one exam every twelve months, regardless of who gives the exam, and at the price they quoted me I cannot afford a second exam in less than a year. I explain as much to the receptionist.)

Me: “There’s really no way for the optometrist to order me enough contacts to get me through the last four months before my insurance covers another exam?”

Receptionist: “Let me speak with the optometrist; we might be able to work something out. I’ll have to put you on hold.”

Me: “That’s fine.”

(I am on hold for about 20 minutes, and finally, the line cuts to ringing. A completely different person answers.)

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Thank you for calling [Chain Optometrist].”

Me: “Oh… I was on hold, waiting for a different receptionist to ask the optometrist a question.”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Oh! What was the question, do you know? I might be able to answer it.”

Me: “Whether the optometrist could order me more contacts before I have another exam. I just had one about eight months ago.”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “That shouldn’t be a problem. I don’t know why the other receptionist needed to ask the optometrist that. May I have your name, please?”

Me: “Sure, I’m [My Name].”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *typing audibly* “Okay… Hm, that’s weird.”

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “I don’t have you in my system.”

Me: “That is weird; I thought all my information transferred over fine.”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Transferred? Which doctor did you see?”

Me: “[Optometrist].”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “I’m sorry, I’m not familiar with that doctor.”

Me: “But you guys just bought his company?”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Oh… Oh! Oh, you mean in [Town]?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s the one.”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “You called the [City] location; we can’t order you contacts, but the [Town] location where you’re registered as a patient can.”

([City] is a large city about 60 miles away; [Town] is a small town that is about a five-minute drive from my apartment.)

Me: “That’s what I did; I called [Town], then I was put on hold when I asked to order contacts..”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Ah, I understand. Our home office is in [City], so all hold calls eventually transfer back to us after a certain amount of time.”

Me: “That’s… strange. Could you please transfer me back?”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Of course. Hold on just a minute, please.”

(I am placed on hold again, again for around twenty minutes. Finally, a third receptionist picks up.)

Receptionist #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “Thank you for calling [Chain Optometrist].”

Me: “Hi. this is [My Name]. I was a patient of [Optometrist]. I called earlier to order more contacts.”

Receptionist #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “Of course. Let me look up your prescription. Oh… You haven’t seen the optometrist yet.”

Me: *sighs* “No, but I just saw my old optometrist about eight months ago.”

Receptionist #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “Well, we can’t order you more contacts until you see the optometrist.”

Me: “Yes, I was told this by the first person I spoke to. She put me on hold to ask the optometrist.”

Receptionist #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : *snorts* “Don’t know why she would do that. She should know we won’t give you any without an exam by our doctor.”

(I have worked customer service for almost ten years, and as such, I don’t want to cause a scene but I am frustrated and this particular receptionist, being so curt with me after the other two were trying to be helpful, irritates me. At this point, including the hold time, I have been on the phone for almost an hour now for what should have been a three-minute call.)

Me: *forcing my voice to be as even as I can* “I’m sorry, let me stop you there. I apologize if I come off as frustrated, but it’s because I am. I have been transferred three times and been on the phone for nearly an hour, and you are the third person I have spoken to. I literally need maybe one full box of contact lenses to get me through four months, as my insurance won’t cover another exam so soon and I can’t afford your exam rate without insurance. Is there really no way for me to get just one box of contacts without seeing your optometrist?”

(There is silence on the line, and I think at first that she hung up. Then, she speaks, very icily and sharply.)

Receptionist #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “That is how we do things here. You know, there are four other optometrists within ten miles of us.”

Me: “I see. I’ll take my prescription information now, thank you. I’ll order my contacts from [Mail Order Contacts Service].”

(The receptionist proceeded to read off my prescription to me rapidly and, again, rather sharply. I managed to write it down, and as soon as she finished speaking she hung up on me. I got some recommendations from family and friends, and four months later I very happily saw a different optometrist, whose employees were sympathetic but not surprised when I told them about my experience with the chain. They told me they already had sixteen former patients of [Optometrist] switch over to them after the chain took over! Not a good look for the chain.)

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:12
Their Real Selves Bear Teeth
DENTIST, ENGLAND, JERK, LIARS/SCAMMERS, UK | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 15, 2019
(I’m at the dentist, and he suggests I go to the hygienist for a clean, etc. I say okay, though I’m not convinced I need it. I’ve not been to the dentist for a couple of years, but my teeth are in great shape, as I look after them well. The following conversation proves me right, and I have not been back since.)

Hygienist: “You know, your teeth are quite incredibly clean considering it’s been six months since we last saw you.”

Me: “Actually, it’s been two years since you last saw me.”

Hygienist: “Well, you really should have come in before now, then! Your teeth need a clean!”

Me: *long pause* “Goodbye.”

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:13
Stuck In A Bloody Cycle
CAR, HEALTH & BODY, ISRAEL, NON-DIALOGUE, POLICE, POLICE STATION | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 13, 2019
About twelve years ago I was riding my motorcycle when I got hit by a driver that didn’t look to see whether the road was clear while exiting her driveway. The impact and subsequent fall wrecked the bike pretty badly; the lights and the mirrors were shattered, the rear brake drum had cracked, the clutch got stuck on partially-disengaged, and the transmission got stuck on third. I was okay, aside from a nasty cut on my chin that got the front of my jacket covered in blood.

After checking myself for bodily injuries and concluding that I had sustained none aside from that cut, I exchanged the mandatory details with the woman that hit me, and told her I wanted to contact the police to have an accident report filled. The woman exclaimed that “she had no time for this,” and promptly drove off, leaving her front bumper, which had torn off in the collision, behind. I then found out that I had no battery remaining on my phone.

I just went to the police station to get that report, on that very bike which was somehow still driveable with all that damage. The officer I spoke to was horrified by the way I looked with all that blood, told me that the report could wait, and urged me to go to the ER to get myself examined. When he asked me whether I could get to the hospital myself, I absent-mindedly just nodded and pointed at the helmet I had in my hand. That seemed to satisfy him and I went on my way.

In retrospect, I don’t know what was worse: the fact that I rode a motorcycle in a condition that made it nowhere near legal to be ridden right up to the police station’s front door, or that the officer, who must have assumed that I was involved in a serious crash, was perfectly fine with me riding the motorcycle involved in that very same crash to the hospital.

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:13
The Only Time It’s Acceptable To Ask
HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, MARYLAND, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 11, 2019
(My daughter has had an accident at daycare where she smacked her nose pretty hard into the side of a table, so I’ve taken her to the urgent care clinic across the street. Due to the location of the injury, my husband and I have agreed to have them do an x-ray, just in case. Unfortunately, my husband has to return to work, so it’s just me with my daughter. It is important to note that I am also five-months pregnant, and it’s starting to be very obvious.)

X-Ray Tech: “Hi, Mom! We’re all ready to take [Daughter] for her x-ray.”

Me: “Great! Come on, [Daughter]. We’re going to go take a picture of the inside of your head!”

(The tech takes a better look at me, looks down at my rounded belly, looks back up at me, and puts on an impressively good poker face.)

X-Ray Tech: “I’m sorry, but um… I have to ask; is there any chance you might be pregnant?”

Me: “Yes, five months!” *smiles at her for a few seconds, and then the penny drops* “Ohhh, right.”

X-Ray Tech: “I’ll just get one of the nurses to go in with [Daughter].”

(Pregnancy brain is real!)

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:14
The Mummy Of All Bad Jokes
MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, PUNNY, SEATTLE, SILLY, USA, WASHINGTON | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 11, 2019
(I am answering the phone at an OB-GYN office when a woman calls to make an appointment.)

Me: “[Office], how can I help you?”

Woman: *sounding a little nervous but also very excited* “Ah, well, I need an appointment. It’s the strangest thing; I went sightseeing a few months ago, to see the pyramids. I thought I got food poisoning or indigestion from eating things I wasn’t used to. But it’s lasted for a few months, and this morning I glanced in the mirror and thought I looked a little heavier.”

(I can see where this might be heading, and am almost giddy because I can’t believe the fantastic joke opportunity I’m about to have.)

Woman: *continuing* “—so I took a pregnancy test. I think I’m three months pregnant!”

Me: *cheering internally* “Well, ma’am, it sounds like you did get sick on your trip.”

Woman: “Oh?”

Me: *holding back laughter* “You caught the Egyptian flu. You’re going to be a mummy!”

Woman: *laughs*

Me: “And congratulations. Let’s figure out your due date and get in your with one of our doctors.”

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:14
Time Heals All Errors
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, UK, WALES | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 10, 2019
(My father comes off his motorcycle when going round a bend and dislocates his shoulder. This the third time he has dislocated it. This, combined with the fact that he is 65 years old, means the doctors want to keep a close eye on how it is healing. My dad goes to the hospital for a check-up a month or two after the accident.)

Doctor: *looking at scans on the computer* “This doesn’t seem to have healed at all. I think you may need surgery to get this sorted.”

Father: “Are you sure? It feels a lot better.”

Doctor: “Based on what I see, yes. Stay here; I just need to speak someone about getting you scheduled in for the operation.”

(The doctor leaves the office. My father looks at the scans still on the screen and notices something important: the date of the scan is from just after the accident! No wonder it doesn’t appear to be healing. The doctor comes back into the office.)

Doctor: “So, we can get you in—“

Father: “Can I just stop you there? Could you check the date on that scan?”

Doctor: “What?” *checks date and twigs* “Ah. So sorry about that.” *brings up the most recent scan* “That’s much better; the healing seems to on track. We’ll make a follow-up appointment so we can check it again soon.”

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:15
Pray They Won’t Be Back(bone)
AUSTRALIA, HOSPITAL, PATIENTS, STUPID | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 8, 2019
(Making bookings for patients is very easy. All I need is the patient’s name, phone, modality, body part, and doctor’s name. I’ve been on the phone for a few minutes. The patient is giving me a rather detailed explanation of why she needs a scan of her back, yet not telling me anything I need to know. I’m polite and don’t interrupt, but I am spending too much time on this call and my coworker needs help with patients lined up.)

Me: “Okay. That doesn’t sound good. Did your doctor want an x-ray, ultrasound, or CT?”

Patient: “Scan of my back. My back.”

Me: “On the form your doctor gave you, did they write XR, CT, or US anywhere?”

Patient: “My doctor’s name is [Doctor].”

Me: “Lovely.” *first piece of information off my checklist, but not what I asked for* “Did they check any boxes? Can you see, ‘spine,’ etc., anywhere?”

Patient: “Yes. It’s so sore. So sore.”

Me: “The paper the doctor gave you. Can you read it to me?”

Patient: “I have a paper. It says nothing.”

Me: *still very polite* “It doesn’t have your name on it? Not the doctor’s name and signature?”

Patient: “Yes, my name is [Patient]!”

(I can’t take it down until I know what they need and what room to start in, so I make a mental note for later.)

Me: “Okay. Now, the paper has nothing on it?”

(I know it’s repetitive, but I have to confirm for what I have to say next if it’s true.)

Patient: “Nothing. There’s nothing!”

Me: “Okay. So, that means its invalid. You’d need to go to the doctor and get him to write you a referral.”

Patient: “It’s here!” *now livid* “No! No. No. It says here!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Patient: “It says XR spline. Yes, s-p-l-i-n-e! Lubosac — My back!’

(I gathered it was an x-ray lumbosacral spine, but don’t you just love how information materialises?)

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:15
The Tiger Comment Was A Bit Of A Stretch
JERK, MEDICAL OFFICE, NURSES, USA, VIRGINIA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 7, 2019
(When I am pregnant with our first child, my husband and I go to a birthing center for all my prenatal care and then for the birth. This birthing center has two midwives. One is a complete angel, but the other is quite difficult to deal with. Partway through the pregnancy, I notice I have gotten a lot of stretch marks on my stomach and am worried that it looks pretty bad. But since my husband hasn’t commented on or acknowledged them at all, I decide they must not be as noticeable as I thought. Then comes another appointment with the difficult midwife. When she sees my stretch marks, she exclaims:)

Midwife: “You look like you got attacked by a tiger! You really need to start working to prevent getting more.”

(She then proceeds to tell me methods to prevent getting more and warning me that they never go away, while I lay there feeling insecure and embarrassed. I look over at my husband to find him looking angry. When he and I get out to the car after the appointment, before we drive off, I turn to him and ask hesitantly and nervously:)

Me: “So… are they really that bad? Like I was attacked by a tiger?”

Husband: *frustrated sigh* “I could shoot that woman.”

Me: “…”

Husband: “I knew as soon as she started talking it would make you feel bad. I so wanted to knock her out or something.”

Me: “You’d never seemed to notice them, so I thought they weren’t that bad.”

Husband: “Of course I noticed them, but I didn’t care! They don’t matter. And I didn’t say anything because I knew it would make you feel bad! I think you are beautiful! The stretch marks really aren’t a big deal.”

Me: “Oh. Thank you.”

(This attitude is only one of the reasons I’m glad to be married to him.)

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:15
Sent A Stinging Note
ARKANSAS, COWORKERS, ELEMENTARY/PRIMARY SCHOOL, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, NON-DIALOGUE, PETS & ANIMALS, TEACHERS, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 6, 2019
My grandmother was a teacher at one of the nearby elementary schools, and at the time she was teaching in this old, wooden building which was located where the playground is now. One day, as she was teaching, a wasp flew in. My grandmother was deathly allergic to wasp stings, so she freaked out, screaming and diving under her desk to avoid it. She ended up writing a note and sent it with a student to the janitor.

The note read, “There’s a wasp in here, and I’m allergic. Come get it!”

The student came back with a reply on the other side of the paper that read, “I know how you feel.”

One of her students killed the wasp for her.

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:16
Narcotics By Night
IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, INDIANA, JERK, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 4, 2019
(The pharmacy where I work is the only 24-hour one in town. We keep all our narcotics in a time-delayed safe that we don’t open at night. The only exception is a few we keep out for hospital patients. One night after 11:00 pm, a lady comes through the drive-thru to drop off a script for one of these medications.)

Me: “We have this in stock and we can have it ready for you around 7:00 am.”

Lady: “I can’t get it now? I’ve been out all day! Can’t you just give me a couple to get me by?”

(I’m thinking, “If you’ve been out all day, why wait until this late at night to get more?”)

Me: “This is in a time-delayed safe, so we can’t fill these at night.”

Lady: “Well, what’s the point in being a full-service, 24-hour pharmacy if you can’t fill prescriptions at night?”

Me: “We can fill most prescriptions at night, but this is in our time-delayed safe which can’t be opened after eight.”

Lady: “I don’t care about anyone else’s prescriptions. This is for me!”

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:16
Medicaid: Come Back When There’s More Than One Stomach Hole
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 3, 2019
(I have been extremely sick with stomach issues for quite a long time, but have had zero luck finding a doctor who will take on a Medicaid patient. One day, the pain after trying to eat something becomes so severe that I ask my grandma to take me to the ER. We go to the main hospital downtown and wait. My mom eventually gets off work and comes to take grandma’s place waiting with me. Finally, after over eight hours, I’m called back. We sit with the doctor and talk about my symptoms: non-stop nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, lack of appetite, exhaustion, unable to keep anything solid down, and so on, getting progressively worse over the course of more than a year. I’ve survived on an increasingly all-liquid diet all that time, so it’s clear something’s wrong.)

Doctor: “Well, you’re young, so I’m not too worried about it. I know you’re in school right now. Remember, your state of mind can really affect your body. Have you been depressed at all?”

(Yep, no tests or anything other than checking my blood sugar and doing a pregnancy and drug screening. I am discharged with basically the advice to try to relax and find a GP to discuss things with. Exactly one week later, I’m at home, and this time start vomiting blood pretty much nonstop rather than the usual intermittent basis. I call the nursing helpline for my Medicaid provider.)

Nurse: “You’re bleeding internally. You need to get to an ER immediately. Do you have someone who can drive you, or should I line up a ride for you?”

Me: “Well, I was literally just in the ER last week.”

Nurse: “Miss, you really need to go back. Is there someone who can take you?”

Me: “Yeah, I know my mom will take me if I tell her. Thank you.”

(Sure enough, my mom came to get me, and we headed for the one hospital in town not part of the network that ran the other one, as it was the local Catholic hospital. I was checked in and taken back within a few minutes, the doctor really listened, and they did tests, giving me meds to help with the nausea in the meantime. Turns out, my H. pylori numbers were practically astronomical, and the ultrasound revealed visible swelling where an ulcer was on the brink of eating through my stomach, in addition to the anemia and high white cell count. I effectively got there pretty much just in time. So, yeah, that’s my story of how most of the medical system wanted to effectively leave me to die just because I couldn’t make enough between my four jobs while going to school, and the one hospital that saved my life. Thanks to a scheduler in the local medical system, I have since found a GP and a GI specialist who are working on the underlying autoimmune issue we’ve since found, as well as getting the stomach issues under control that I was left with due to long-term lack of treatment.)

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:17
Your Throat Is Fine But Your Brain Is Missing
IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, MEDICAL OFFICE, PATIENTS, USA | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 2, 2019
(The office I work in is in a larger building with other medical offices in it. I’m walking in to work one day and see an older lady standing in the intersection of two hallways looking lost. I’m not wearing scrubs or a uniform of any kind, but I must look like I know where I am going because she stops me with this:)

Old Lady: “Where do I go?”

Me: “Which office are you looking for?”

Old Lady: “I don’t know; where do I go?”

Me: “Are you seeing a doctor or having a procedure done?”

Old Lady: *motions to her throat* “They’re scanning this.”

Me: *thinking this narrows down the possibilities to two offices* “Do you know what kind of scan, or the name of the office you need to be at?”

Old Lady: “They just told me to come in door B.” *our building entrances are marked with letters* “Where do I go?”

Me: “Well, I work at [Radiology Clinic], so follow me and we’ll see if your appointment is with us.”

Old Lady: “But where do I go?”

(Her appointment was with us, but for the next day. We were able to squeeze her in. It happens way too often that patients come for scans but have no idea what it’s for or which doctor sent them. I would be able to understand getting lost if the offices in our building weren’t so clearly marked and there weren’t maps at every entrance.)

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:17
School Is Not Much Of An Improvement Over Hospital
BIZARRE, CANADA, HOSPITAL, PATIENTS | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 1, 2019
(I’m a nurse in a smallish community hospital. A number of our patients are awaiting placement in long-term care and aren’t acutely ill. However, because they’re living in a germy hospital, they’re inclined to pick up bugs, and older folks with cognitive decline can get intensely confused with any sort of infection. One morning, one of our longtime patients, an older, bedridden lady, starts telling us all that she’s on a couch in a schoolhouse in a completely different small town and she needs to get back to the hospital. She laughs at us when we try to explain that she’s already in the hospital, and has a shouting match with her husband when he comes in and tries, as well. Later in the day, I’m doing some charting at the nursing station and answer a phone call:)

Me: “[Floor], [My Name] speaking.”

Patient: “Oh, hi. I’m just calling to let you know that I’m not there today; I’m at the school in [Town].”

Me: “[Patient], you are here today. I saw you this morning. I helped with your bath.”

Patient: “No, I’m not. I’m in [town], but I thought I should call in case [Husband] is looking for me.”

Me: “[Patient], your husband was in this morning. To the hospital. Where you are. In room [number]. Look. I’ll walk down the hall to your room.”

Patient: *laughs* “Okay, you do that; I won’t be there, though.”

(I walk down the hall, while talking to the patient on the cordless extension, and into her room. She sees me and continues talking over the phone to me.)

Patient: “Oh, a girl’s here now!”

Me: *hangs up* “[Patient], that’s me; you were just talking to me.”

Patient: *keeps talking into the phone* “See, I’m in [Town] and I need to get back to the hospital!”

(I gave up; she would not be reoriented. Later, I answered a call from our switchboard, who patched through 911. The patient had called them to ask to be returned to the hospital. I had to go back to her room to talk to the 911 dispatch on her phone and cancel the request. Then I disconnected her phone. This patient is recovered and quite lucid once more.)

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:17
Must Not Be The Only One With A Damaged Head
ENGLAND, HOSPITAL, LAZY/UNHELPFUL, LONDON, NON-DIALOGUE, STUPID, UK | HEALTHY | FEBRUARY 1, 2019
I go to see my dad one day while my mum is away on a trip, to keep him company and to help him get some stuff done. One of the things he wants to do is add new waterproofing strips to the top of his workshop. We set up the ladder and I go up while he cuts some blocks. Rather foolishly, we didn’t do anything resembling good practice while setting up the ladder, a fact that comes back to bite me when I try to climb down it and it slips out from under me. I fall and luckily I land feet-first, but then I tip forward, and this time I land head-first on the patio.

I scream and my dad rushes out. A quick damage assessment has a lot of blood streaming from my head and a small puddle of it on the floor. I should note at this point that my dad and I are absolutely terrible for seeking medical attention. The last time my dad was in hospital he had managed to nearly slice his thumb off, and I, likewise, had not gone to hospital since I was eight. But given the amount of blood, we decide a trip to the hospital might be a good idea.

Since we are close to the hospital, we decide it would be faster and easier to just drive me in. With a towel soaking the blood up, we drive to the hospital and I walk in. It’s worth noting that despite the fact I’m walking, my t-shirt is covered in blood. The towel at my head it quite wet with it, too; anyone with some sense should probably figure I’m an urgent case. The staff who assign severity of cases, however, take a different view on things. First, I have to sit for five minutes, and then I meet with someone to fill out my details before being sent down a hallway to another waiting room. After around five minutes here, the blood loss and shock is getting to me and I literally pass out onto the floor.

According to my dad, I am suddenly swarmed with nurses and doctors, my blood pressure and vitals are taken, and I am shoved onto a bed with a compress applied to my head. At first, however, there is some confusion as to who I am. It turns out the admitting nurse decided my case wasn’t that serious, “because he was walking,” and had listed me as discharged.

I am given a head CT and kept in for six hours of observation, diagnosed with a mild concussion and a large cut to the side of my head, which fortunately closes without the need for stitches. My dad thinks it is hilarious later when a sign on our way out reads, “Would you recommend [Hospital] to a friend?” With the way they handled my case…

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:18
Time To Tell Them The Hard, Black Truth
HOME, MADISON, PATIENTS, ROOMMATES, STUPID, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 31, 2019
(My flatmate has been seeing a doctor for heart palpitations and has had to do a number of things to troubleshoot it, including wearing a portable heart monitor. One evening we are hanging out in the kitchen.)

Me: “Didn’t the cardiologist say you have to cut down on caffeine?”

Flatmate: “Yeah, so I stopped drinking coffee.”

Me: “How many cups of black tea have you had today already, though?”

Flatmate: “Six. Why?”

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:18
She Has To Live Somewhere Else, But At Least She Will Be Living
ADELAIDE, AUSTRALIA, BAD BEHAVIOR, MEDICAL OFFICE, PARENTS/GUARDIANS, SOUTH AUSTRALIA | HEALTHY RELATED | JANUARY 30, 2019
(I’m sitting in a doctor’s office waiting room with my five-year-old son for a routine checkup. In Australia, legally, you do not have to have your parents’ consent for doctor visits once you turn 16, at which point you can apply for your own medicare card, as well. A young girl around 16 or 17 marches through the door and walks up to the receptionist, followed by an older woman who turns out to be her mother. Her mother is WAILING at the top of her lungs, begging her daughter to stop, asking how she could do this to her, etc., in amongst just screaming randomly. Every kid in the practice bolts to their parents and the adults are left to just watch it all unfold.)

Teenage Girl: “Hello. I’m [Teenage Girl] and I’m seventeen and here for my own appointment.”

(Her mother increases her screeching, now sitting firmly in harpy territory.)

Mum: “I AM HER MOTHER AND I DO NOT CONSENT TO THIS.”

(The receptionist, to her credit, simply checks the young girl in, and she goes to sit down and wait. Her mother, still crying and shrieking, follows her and sits between her and another mum with a toddler who looks horrified.)

Mum: *through hiccups and tears* “Make sure you raise him right, but even if you raise him right, he’ll let some big corporation turn him against youuuu!”

(The other mum gets called in for her appointment and makes a hasty getaway, leaving us to listen to the crazy banshee beg and plead and scream at her daughter not to do this. Honestly, at this point, I think the only thing that could cause this reaction would be an abortion, but ohhh, I was wrong. A very perplexed doctor calls the young girl’s name out, and she bolts into the room. Her mother tries to follow but is stopped by the doctor.)

Doctor: “Do you want your mother with you?”

Teenage Girl: “No.”

(This apparently kicks the crazy into overdrive. The mother starts yelling angrily now.)

Mum: “Well, after you get that poison injected into you, you are not coming home and shedding it all over your sisters! You can find somewhere else to live!”

(The mum made an exit and we all realised she was talking about VACCINES. When her daughter emerged from the room she apologised to all of us, and it looked like she’d been crying. A few people offered her tissues and told her she was a brave kid for standing her ground. She had a quiet talk with the receptionist, who called someone, and when I was leaving the receptionist said she’d called the girl’s father for her. Wherever you are, brave girl, I hope you had somewhere to live, and good on you for making the smart choice!)

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:23
Laughter Is The Best Medicine… After Chemo
DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, ENGLAND, HOSPITAL, NURSES, SILLY, UK | HEALTHY | JANUARY 29, 2019
(I have cancer and am at the hospital for a session of chemotherapy. Before I can have the treatment, I have to have blood taken and see the oncologist to make sure that I am healthy enough to take the chemo. A nurse weighs me whilst I am waiting for my consultation, and I am finally called in. The doctor asks how I’m doing, tells me my blood work was fine, and checks my weight with the nurse. She gives him the info, and he drops this gem.)

Oncologist: “Is that weight whilst fully clothed?”

Nurse: *looking incredibly amused* “We don’t strip the patients naked, [Doctor].”

(I went into that session of chemo feeling very upbeat.)

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:24
Fighting Tooth And Nail To Get Your Money
BAD BEHAVIOR, CALIFORNIA, DENTIST, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 28, 2019
(I’m on Medicaid since I’m working at an unfunded startup and don’t have any income — I got a sizable equity stake to compensate — nor does the company offer any insurance. I haven’t been to the dentist in a couple of years since my previous job’s dental coverage expired, and I’ve finally overcome my laziness to find a new one. There are only a few dentists in the area I have moved to in the interim who take Medicaid; I look them up on Yelp just to get a general idea of people’s experiences, and pick the one that had the best reviews.)

Dentist: “Your front top and bottom teeth are clicking against each other, when the top ones should be in front of the bottoms. This is causing your bottom teeth to be pushed out of alignment and is producing some gum recession.”

(This seems reasonable, and I have noticed that the gums around my front bottom teeth are thinning a bit.)

Dentist: “This is a serious problem that you should address immediately. You should set up an appointment as soon as possible for us to get you on [Name-Brand Clear-Aligner Orthodontic Treatment].”

(Denti-Cal, California’s Medicaid dental coverage, isn’t that comprehensive; I doubt they’ll cover a multi-thousand-dollar orthodontic treatment for an adult, and I don’t have that kind of out-of-pocket money at the moment. Also, while this dentist does apparently do both dentistry and orthodontics, from childhood I’m used to seeing a separate orthodontist.)

Me: “Thanks for letting me know, but I don’t want to do that procedure at this time.”

Dentist: “You need a deep cleaning since it’s been so long since your last cleaning.” *shows me x-rays* “If we just did a regular cleaning, we might not get all of this plaque that’s built up under the gum line. I don’t see any infection, but a long-term plaque buildup could lead to one.”

(This also seems reasonable, since it has been a couple of years, and the last time I went that long between cleanings I also needed a deep cleaning. At the time this takes place Denti-Cal doesn’t cover deep cleanings, so I have to cover the $400 charge out of pocket, but figure that’s my burden for waiting so long. Wanting a second opinion on the tooth-alignment issue, I schedule to see my childhood orthodontist when I’m home seeing my parents a few months later. I haven’t seen him in at least a decade, and there’s no chance of him getting any business from me since he’s on the opposite coast.)

Orthodontist: “Your teeth have shifted a fair amount since we last saw you. No, that clicking isn’t ideal, but the gum issues aren’t that bad and aren’t an immediate concern. You should probably address it in the next few years, but I’d recommend seeing someone who only does orthodontics, not a dentist who does orthodontics on the side.”

(Maybe there’s some professional snobbery involved with that last comment, but I’m more focused on the so-called “immediate issue” not being that much of an emergency, which I had suspected. At the next dentist appointment:)

Hygienist: “You know, your teeth are rather discolored. I think you should have us do a whitening procedure!”

Me: “My teeth aren’t that bad, and I’m not that concerned about my appearance. Also, in case you weren’t aware, I’m on Denti-Cal, which I’m pretty sure wouldn’t cover that, and which means I don’t really have hundreds or thousands of dollars to spare on a cosmetic procedure. So, no, I won’t be doing that.”

(Ten minutes later:)

Hygienist: “I really do think you’d look so much better if you got your teeth whitened! We’d do a really good job of it!”

Me: “I already said I both didn’t want to and couldn’t afford that.”

Hygienist: “Okay. Well, the dentist recommends you get a gum irrigation while you’re here, for the infection.”

Me: “What infection?! When I was here last time I was told I didn’t have any, and that I should do a deep cleaning to avoid any notable chance of one.”

Hygienist: “Well, no, you don’t have an infection, but the irrigation would further ensure you don’t get one.”

Me: “I was told last time that a deep cleaning was sufficient, and it seems that it was. I don’t like the insinuation that I have a problem when there’s not actually a problem. If I don’t have an infection, this sounds like an unnecessary procedure, and I’m not paying for it.”

(The hygienist finishes my regular cleaning.)

Hygienist: “Are you sure you don’t want your teeth whitened?”

Me: “No. I do not. Want. My teeth. Whitened. I said that twice already in no uncertain terms. Don’t ask me again.”

(The dentist comes in for the post-cleaning check.)

Dentist: “So, when do you want us to remove your wisdom teeth?”

Me: “Is there something wrong with them?! They came in several years ago, there’s enough room in my jaw for them, and I haven’t had any issues with them to date.”

Dentist: “No, but many of my patients get them removed just to avoid any complications.”

Me: “I’m currently 28. My dad didn’t have his removed until his 50s, and that was in response to some tangible problems he was having. I’m on Denti-Cal, and this probably isn’t covered. I’m not paying that kind of money right now to possibly avoid some problem that may never crop up, or may not crop up for decades. Please stop trying to sell me a bunch of unnecessary procedures, especially when you should know, from my insurance, that I probably don’t have much money to fritter away on things I don’t absolutely need.”

(I am rather annoyed by this whole ordeal, but I make an appointment for six months later since they at least seemed to do a capable job of cleaning my teeth. My usual inertia about switching dentists leads me to not find another one in the interim, so I go back. The cleaning is shorter than usual, possibly since I’ve started using a water flosser in addition to brushing.)

Dentist: “You know, that under-bite hasn’t gotten any better. You should really get [Clear Orthodontics Product].”

Me: “I’m still on Denti-Cal. It’s still not covered as far as I know, and I’m still not in a position to afford that. If and when I do decide to fix the problem, I will see a full-time orthodontist.”

Dentist: “All right, then. Next time you come in, you should do a deep cleaning, because I see some noticeable plaque buildup under your gums.”

Me: “I’ve been using a water flosser for several months now. You showed me the x-rays you took before the cleaning and there were maybe two tiny spots of plaque under all of my teeth put together. While Denti-Cal now covers deep cleanings, I’m not going to do that when there’s absolutely no reason to. I’m sick and tired of being pressured and cajoled into all manner of questionably necessary, or flat-out unnecessary, procedures. No other dentist I’ve ever been to has ever behaved like this. I’m not coming back.”

(I actually didn’t come back this time, and when they called me six months later to remind me of my next appointment, I told them again that I was never setting foot in their door.)

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:24
Must Be One Big Jacket
BIZARRE, CALIFORNIA, MEDICAL OFFICE, RUDE & RISQUE, USA | HEALTHY RIGHT | JANUARY 27, 2019
(I’ve just asked an elderly patient to remove his jacket so I can take his blood pressure.)

Patient: “Sure. I’ll take all my clothes off, if you want!”

florida80
04-26-2021, 20:24
A Blue Eye For A Broken Tooth
ENGLAND, HOSPITAL, LONDON, PATIENTS, SILLY, UK | HEALTHY | JANUARY 25, 2019
(This happened a few years back. Two of my teeth had cracked and gone completely rotten and required removal. I was put under anesthetic and had the operation. Just after I woke up…)

Me: *pokes holes in mouth* “What… What? Where’re my teeth?”

Nurse: “You just had an operation to remove them.”

Me: *pokes mouth* “What? No… No, I didn’t. I was shopping… Yeah…”

(A bit of a pause. To check my jaw, she makes me bite a bit of cotton.)

Me: “I want my teeth back, please.”

Nurse: “Don’t worry; we have them in a little packet.”

Me: “No… No! I WANT YOU TO PUT MY TEETH BACK!”

Nurse: “I’m afraid that’s impossible. They’re all broken.”

Me: “PUT THEM BACK!” *sits up, throws the cotton at the wall, and then starts crying for no particular reason* “They were killed too soon!”

Nurse: “Don’t worry; they went out bravely.”

Me: “Yeah… The funeral will be so sad… They were so brave! Rest in shade… No… peas… peace!”

(I look at the nurse.)

Me: “Your eyes… Why are they blue? How does it work? They are very blue. Did anyone ever say your eyes are blue? Why are they blue?”

(I don’t remember any of this, but my dad was there and told me the whole thing once the anesthetic wore off. I felt so mortified!)

florida80
04-28-2021, 19:52
A Blue Eye For A Broken Tooth
ENGLAND, HOSPITAL, LONDON, PATIENTS, SILLY, UK | HEALTHY | JANUARY 25, 2019
(This happened a few years back. Two of my teeth had cracked and gone completely rotten and required removal. I was put under anesthetic and had the operation. Just after I woke up…)

Me: *pokes holes in mouth* “What… What? Where’re my teeth?”

Nurse: “You just had an operation to remove them.”

Me: *pokes mouth* “What? No… No, I didn’t. I was shopping… Yeah…”

(A bit of a pause. To check my jaw, she makes me bite a bit of cotton.)

Me: “I want my teeth back, please.”

Nurse: “Don’t worry; we have them in a little packet.”

Me: “No… No! I WANT YOU TO PUT MY TEETH BACK!”

Nurse: “I’m afraid that’s impossible. They’re all broken.”

Me: “PUT THEM BACK!” *sits up, throws the cotton at the wall, and then starts crying for no particular reason* “They were killed too soon!”

Nurse: “Don’t worry; they went out bravely.”

Me: “Yeah… The funeral will be so sad… They were so brave! Rest in shade… No… peas… peace!”

(I look at the nurse.)

Me: “Your eyes… Why are they blue? How does it work? They are very blue. Did anyone ever say your eyes are blue? Why are they blue?”

(I don’t remember any of this, but my dad was there and told me the whole thing once the anesthetic wore off. I felt so mortified!)

florida80
04-28-2021, 19:53
Allergic To Politeness
JERK, PATIENTS, PHARMACY, STUPID, UK | HEALTHY RIGHT | JANUARY 24, 2019
Customer: “I need something for allergies.”

(I show him the selection and he chooses.)

Me: “Are you on any other medication?”

Customer: “None of your business. Give me my tablets.”

Me: “I’m not allowed to sell them to you if there is a chance they could interact with something you are already taking.”

Customer: “Well, f*** you!” *storms off*

Colleague: “You would think he would be wiser after the last time.”

Me: “What happened?”

Colleague: “Our last pharmacist gave in and sold them. He took them while shopping and crashed his car the second he left the car park. He was taking codeine and had a bad reaction.”

Me: “Wow.”

florida80
04-28-2021, 19:53
OMG-yn!, Part 2
CZECH REPUBLIC, DOCTOR/PHYSICIAN, HOSPITAL, IGNORING & INATTENTIVE, JERK | HEALTHY | JANUARY 23, 2019
(I wake up feeling sick. There are explosions of pain in my right side. I try to walk it off but after a few hours my boyfriend decides it’s time to stop playing hero, and he takes me to an emergency room. A receptionist is sorting patients according to their suspected diagnosis — broken bones and physical injuries are sent to the surgical ER, ob-gyn problems to the ob-gyn ER, toothache to the dentist ER, etc. We think it’s appendicitis, so I end up in general ER because we actually don’t know what’s wrong. I am four months pregnant and it’s already starting to show.)

Doctor: “We need to do a test to see if you are pregnant.”

Me: “I am pregnant.”

Doctor: “Riiight. So, we will do the test to see if you are pregnant…”

Me: “I am pregnant.”

Doctor: “Sure. So this test–“

Me: “Which part of ‘I am pregnant’ don’t you understand?”

Doctor: “This test will determine if you are pregnant.”

Me: “Okay, last time: I am pregnant. I’m 17 weeks along. In your right hand is my pregnancy card which confirms my pregnancy, includes all the tests, results, and every check-up I’ve had. I am four months pregnant!”

Doctor: *pause* “Well, why didn’t you say so?”

Me: “Arggggh!”

(She sent me to ob-gyn ER since “irritated pregnant women aren’t her problem.” At the ob-gyn ER, I was told my baby was fine, and since they also agreed it might be appendicitis, they sent me to the surgical ER where they determined it wasn’t appendicitis, but that the cause of the pain was my baby. I had a slightly irritated and swollen appendix, and the position of my son allowed him to kick it, which caused the explosions of pain. Two days of an icepack on my right side and liquid diet, and I was fine.)

florida80
04-28-2021, 19:53
Choking With Inappropriateness
ASSISTED LIVING, GERMANY, GOLDEN YEARS, PATIENTS, RUDE & RISQUE | HEALTHY RIGHT | JANUARY 22, 2019
(I work in a home for the elderly. I have to help an elderly woman to change seats because her left arm and leg are paralyzed. She can stand as long as she holds on to somebody. While I’m transferring her into her wheelchair, she holds onto my neck and by doing so she chokes me. Getting out of breath, I quickly set her into her wheelchair. After catching my breath I talk to her.)

Me: “Miss [Woman], you were choking me.”

Woman: “Oh, sorry. I’ll leave that to your girlfriend.”

(After that I had to catch my breath again from laughing too much.)

florida80
04-28-2021, 19:54
Just Tell Them They Will Get Dog Breath
IMPOSSIBLE DEMANDS, STUPID, USA, UTAH, VET | HEALTHY RIGHT | JANUARY 20, 2019
(I’m a receptionist for a busy veterinarian office. We have a strict policy of not giving medical advice over the phone for the protection of the patients, as I am not a medical professional; I am a receptionist with zero medical training. A frantic woman calls.)

Caller: “What’s going to happen to me? I used my dog’s toothbrush!”

Me: “I don’t believe anything should happen to you, but if you’re worried, you should call your own doctor for advice.”

Caller: “But don’t you know?! You know about dogs; you should know what will happen to me!”

(Both my other phone lines are now ringing.)

Me: “I cannot give medical advice over the phone. Also, we are a veterinarian. If you need medical advice for people, you need to speak to a human doctor.”

Caller: “But don’t you know? You know about dogs.”

Me: *repeating myself* “I really cannot give medical advice for pets or humans. If you are worried, call your own doctor. Now, I need to answer some other calls.”

Caller: “Okay. I just don’t understand why you can’t tell me what will happen to me.”

(I had to hang up on the woman because she wouldn’t stop whining about it.)

florida80
04-28-2021, 19:54
The Fats Fit The Facts
COLORADO, HEALTH & BODY, MEDICAL OFFICE, USA | HEALTHY | JANUARY 19, 2019
(I am a larger woman, between a size 12-14. I have PCOS which means it can be very hard for me to lose weight. I also exercise four to six days a week (what can I say? I have an endorphin addiction) and eat fairly healthy. I’m just fat, and the weight doesn’t come off unless I absolutely starve myself. Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t believe this, some of which are in the medical industry. Fortunately, my doctor is more than happy with my health. At the beginning of my annual physical, I notice she has gotten a new nurse. The new nurse enters the room, sees me, and stops dead in her tracks. She looks at the file she has with my blood work, and she looks at me. Back to the blood work, back to me.)

Nurse: “Are you [My Name]?”

Me: “Yes.”

(She frowns and excuses herself. Unfortunately for her, she doesn’t close the door all the way, so I can hear her talking to my doctor in the hall. She is telling the doctor she thinks my blood work has gotten mixed up because there is no way I can have the stats I have! My doctor corrects her saying I have a largely healthy body, but all the organs in my lower abdomen hate me. And that was how her nurse learned that fat people sometimes aren’t fat for lack of trying, and that sometimes our stats are just fine, thank you.)