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News Release 3-Jun-2019

A little formula in first days of life may not impact breastfeeding at 6 months

But it might alter moms' attitudes to longer-term feeding, UCSF-led study shows

University of California - San Francisco


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A study has lodged a new kink in the breastfeeding dilemma that adds to the angst of exhausted new parents: While most newborns lose weight in the first days of life, do you or don't you offer a little formula after breastfeeding if the weight loss is more than usual?

For years, the answer has been "no," as infant formula was seen as a deterrent to breastfeeding. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding until 6 months of age, and continuing breastfeeding until 12 months while transitioning to solids. But according to the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention, just over one-third of infants in the United States are breastfeeding at 12 months.

The answer is no longer clear-cut, say researchers of the UCSF Benioff Children's Hospitals - led study, publishing in JAMA Pediatrics on June 3, 2019. It depends on breastfeeding duration goals and attitudes, and needs to be balanced against the risks that newborns face in the first days of life when their weight is dropping.

In the study, the researchers tracked the long-term feeding habits of 164 babies born at UCSF Benioff Children's Hospitals and Penn State Children's Hospital. The infants had been breastfed between 1-to-3 days old, and their weight loss had been in the 75th percentile or above for age. Half of the mothers added syringe-fed formula after each breastfeeding, which stopped when the mother's milk came in at two-to-five days after delivery. The other half had continued to breastfeed exclusively.

Marital Status, Breastfeeding Goals Are Factors in Weaning

The researchers found that at 6 months of age, the infants in the supplemented group were as likely to breastfeed as those who had exclusively breastfed. But by 12 months of age, that had changed. In the supplemented group, 21 of the 12-month-olds (30 percent) were still breastfeeding, versus 37 of the infants (48 percent) in the non-supplemented group. The disparity between the two groups was less marked when the researchers accounted for married status and longer breastfeeding duration goals, both of which are associated with longer-term breastfeeding.

"The results suggest that using early, limited formula may not have a negative impact on infants, but it may alter maternal attitudes toward breastfeeding," said first author Valerie Flaherman, MD, a pediatrician at UCSF Benioff Children's Hospitals and associate professor in the UCSF departments of pediatrics, and epidemiology and biostatistics.

While limited formula in the first days of life did not seem to change feeding habits among newborns that were exclusively breastfed, "it's possible that supplementation reduced commitment, by the mother or other family members, to avoid it later in infancy," she said.

An earlier study of the same 164 infants, also led by Flaherman, found that the supplemented newborns may have been at lower risk for hyperbilirubinemia, a condition that leads to jaundice and may be caused by inadequate nutrition. Of the five infants readmitted to the hospital by 1 month of age, four were in the non-supplemented group.

"Our study's results show that early, limited formula may have significant benefits as well as risks for subsequent breastfeeding duration," said Flaherman.

"Counseling that implies all formula is harmful would be inaccurate and may be detrimental to long-term breastfeeding success," she said. However, if formula is used in the first few days after birth to prevent hyperbilirubinemia or dehydration, "it should be discontinued as soon as possible, since ongoing use at 1 week of age indicates a mother is at high risk of early breastfeeding cessation."

Senior author Ian M. Paul, MD, of Penn State College of Medicine, emphasized that a "rigid, one-size-fits-all approach" was inappropriate. "Guidelines for care and standards set by hospital accreditation agencies should consider these data and how best to support babies and their mothers," he said.

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Fathers aid development of larger brains


https://i.imgur.com/C7aYskP.jpg

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IMAGE: Callitrichids, like these common marmosets, usually give birth to two infants. The father and the other group members help the female rear her young. view more 

Credit: Judith Burkart


The bigger the brain in relation to body size, the more intelligent a living organism is. This means that mammalian species with large brains are smarter than small-brained mammals. However, developing a large brain comes at a price: An infant expends around two-thirds of its energy alone on supplying nourishment to its brain. That huge amount of energy must be continually available in the form of milk and, later on, through the intake of food. The females of many large-brained animal species cannot bear the energetic costs of rearing offspring on their own - they are reliant on additional help.

Fathers help dependably

Previously, it was generally assumed that it is immaterial whether it is the father or other members of the group who assist the mother in caring for offspring. However, evolutionary biologist Sandra Heldstab and her colleagues Karin Isler, Judith Burkart and Carel van Schaik from the University of Zurich's Department of Anthropology have now demonstrated for the first time that it very well does matter who helps the mother. Animal species with paternal care of offspring are particularly able to energetically afford bigger brains. Help from other group members is far less essential to the evolution of a large brain. In their study, the researchers compared brain sizes and the extent and frequency of paternal and alloparental care in around 480 mammalian species.

"Fathers help consistently and dependably with the rearing of offspring, whereas assistance from other group members, such as elder siblings for instance, is far less reliable," Sandra Heldstab explains. For example, in the case of wolves and African wild dogs - two mammal species with large brains -, elder siblings often help out less, and they look out for themselves first when food is scarce. Sometimes they even steal the prey that parents bring for the infants. The father, in contrast, actually steps up his willingness to help his young offspring when environmental conditions worsen.

Bigger brains or bigger litters

In the case of other species like meerkats and prairie voles, for instance, elder siblings often defect to a different group when they reach puberty and, unlike the father, are no longer available to help the mother. Moreover, the quality of the paternal help is usually superior to help provided by other group members, who are often young and inexperienced. "A female cannot energetically afford offspring with large brains unless she can rely on help, and such dependable help only comes from the father," Heldstab says.

If the assistance that the female receives for rearing her young is inconsistent, evolution takes an alternative path. In mammalian species that fit this bill - such as lions and red-ruffed lemurs for example -, mothers do not give birth to few offspring with large brains, but to many with small brains. If there is plenty of help in caring for the young, the entire litter survives. If the female receives little support, some of the young die. This is evolution's way of making certain that at least some of the young survive even in the event of scant help and ensuring that the female doesn't needlessly invest energy in an offspring with a large brain that will die in the absence of dependable helpers. The study demonstrates once more that only a stable and dependable supply of energy - procured through paternal help, for instance - enables a large brain to develop in the course of evolution.

Humans are the exception

Humans are unique in this respect: Paternal assistance in child rearing is very reliable, but so is childcare help from other relatives and non-relatives. This circumstance enabled humans to develop the largest brain relative to body size in the animal kingdom and nonetheless to considerably shorten the time span between births compared to that for our closest relatives, apes. "In the world of mammals, only help from fathers is dependable. We humans, though, fortunately can also count on help from others," Sandra Heldstab says.

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News Release 3-Jun-2019

Immunotherapy drug found safe in treating cancer patients with HIV

Researchers seek to break down HIV exclusions in cancer clinical trials

Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center


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IMAGE: Dr. Tom Uldrick of Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center led the study. view more 

Credit: Robert Hood / Fred Hutch

SEATTLE -- June 2, 2019 --The results of a study led by physicians at Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center showed that patients living with HIV and one of a variety of potentially deadly cancers could be safely treated with the immunotherapy drug pembrolizumab, also known by its brand name, KEYTRUDA®.

During an ASCO presentation concurrent with release of a study in JAMA Oncology, Fred Hutch researcher and lead author Dr. Tom Uldrick said that in nearly all cases it was safe to use the drug in patients with cancer and HIV. The "adverse events profile," a measure of the safety of the drug in the study, was not substantially different from prior studies that excluded such patients. The results, study authors said, are likely applicable to five similar drugs that block receptors known as PD-1 or PD-L1 on the surface T cells.

"Our conclusion is that anti-PD-1 therapy is appropriate for cancer patients with well-controlled HIV, and that patients with HIV and cancer can be treated with the drug and should be included in future immunotherapy studies," Uldrick said.

The 30-patient trial studied only pembrolizumab, the anti-PD-1 therapy manufactured by Merck. Merck provided the study drug to the National Cancer Institute (NCI). The NCI sponsored the trial. HIV-positive patients with different cancers that might respond to the drug were included in the trial. Among the cancers treated were lung cancer; Kaposi sarcoma, or KS; non-Hodgkin lymphoma; liver cancer; anal cancer and advanced squamous cell skin cancer.

Fred Hutch immunotherapy researcher Dr. Mac Cheever is director of the NCI-funded Cancer Immunotherapy Trials Network, which carried out the trial, and he is senior author of the JAMA Oncology paper. The study was conducted at seven different cancer centers across the United States, including the HIV and AIDS Malignancy Branch of the National Cancer Institute, in Bethesda, Maryland.

Overall, the safety profile of pembrolizumab in people with HIV and cancer was similar to that noted in clinical trials in the general population. Although the primary purpose of the study was to evaluate safety, it also provided a snapshot of the anti-cancer activity of the drug on these patients. One patient with lung cancer had a complete response to treatment, and activity was also noted in important HIV-associated cancers, including non-Hodgkin lymphoma, Kaposi sarcoma and liver cancer.

An unexpected death on study from a rare KSHV-associated B-cell lymphoproliferation was noted in one patient and while the association with therapy is still unclear, it has led to recommendations to use substantial caution if anti-PD-1 therapy is considered in the setting of KSHV-associated multicentric Castleman disease. The researchers concluded that anti-PD-1 therapy may be considered for FDA approved indications in patients with HIV who are on antiretroviral therapy and have a CD4 count above a certain threshold (100 cells per microliter of blood). However, more research is needed as to its effectiveness in the setting of HIV infection.

The FDA, Friends of Cancer Research, and the American Society of Clinical Oncology have all recommended that HIV patients should be included in more clinical trials. The NCI has generally allowed patients with HIV to enroll on the immuno-oncology studies that it sponsors with PD-1 and PD-L1 inhibitors. However, this trial was one of only two trials sponsored by the NCI to focus exclusively on patients living with HIV, and it has been the first prospective trial to report its results.

"Exclusion of people with HIV in clinical trials is a longstanding problem that grew out of the poor outcomes of AIDS patients with cancer, before there were effective antiviral therapies for HIV," Uldrick said. In prior research, Uldrick surveyed 46 recent clinical trials that led to approval of cancer drugs, and found 30 contained explicit exclusions for patients with HIV, and nine others where an exclusion was implied.

This study was sponsored by the National Cancer Institute Cancer Therapy Evaluation Program (CTEP). Study drug was provided to the NCI by Merck Sharp & Dohme Corp., a subsidiary of Merck & Co., Inc., via a collaborative research and development agreement. It was supported by U.S. federal funds from the National Cancer Institute (NCI), National Institutes of Health (NIH), under Contract No.HHSN261200800001E , NIH Intramural Research Program Support ZIA BC011700 to Dr. Uldrick and ZIA BC010885 to Dr. Robert Yarchoan, and 1U01CA154967 to Dr. Cheever for the Cancer Immunotherapy Trials Network.

Dr. Uldrick reported the following disclosures: Merck & Co. during the conduct of the study, and Celgene and Roche outside the submitted work. In addition, Dr. Uldrick had a patent to the NCI and Celgene issued. Dr. Cheever reported the following disclosures: grants from NIH, NCI during the conduct of the study; as well as others from Merck, Horizon, Dendreon and Celldex outside the submitted work.

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News Release 2-Jun-2019

Using facial recognition technology to continuously monitor patient safety in the ICU


ESA (European Society of Anaesthesiology)


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A team of Japanese scientists has used facial recognition technology to develop an automated system that can predict when patients in the intensive care unit (ICU) are at high risk of unsafe behaviour such as accidentally removing their breathing tube, with moderate (75%) accuracy.

The new research, being presented at this year's Euroanaesthesia congress (the annual meeting of the European Society of Anaesthesiology) in Vienna, Austria (1-3 June), suggests that the automated risk detection tool has the potential as a continuous monitor of patient's safety and could remove some of the limitations associated with limited staff capacity that make it difficult to continuously observe critically-ill patients at the bedside.

"Using images we had taken of a patient's face and eyes we were able to train computer systems to recognise high-risk arm movement", says Dr Akane Sato from Yokohama City University Hospital, Japan who led the research.

"We were surprised about the high degree of accuracy that we achieved, which shows that this new technology has the potential to be a useful tool for improving patient safety, and is the first step for a smart ICU which is planned in our hospital."

Critically ill patients are routinely sedated in the ICU to prevent pain and anxiety, permit invasive procedures, and improve patient safety. Nevertheless, providing patients with an optimal level of sedation is challenging. Patients who are inadequately sedated are more likely to display high-risk behaviour such as accidentally removing invasive devices.

The study included 24 postoperative patients (average age 67 years) who were admitted to ICU in Yokohama City University Hospital between June and October 2018.

The proof-of-concept model was created using pictures taken by a camera mounted on the ceiling above patients' beds. Around 300 hours of data were analysed to find daytime images of patients facing the camera in a good body position that showed their face and eyes clearly.

In total, 99 images were subject to machine learning--an algorithm that can analyse specific images based on input data, in a process that resembles the way a human brain learns new information. Ultimately, the model was able to alert against high-risk behaviour, especially around the subject's face with high accuracy.

"Various situations can put patients at risk, so our next step is to include additional high-risk situations in our analysis, and to develop an alert function to warn healthcare professionals of risky behaviour. Our end goal is to combine various sensing data such as vital signs with our images to develop a fully automated risk prediction system", says Dr Sato.

The authors note several limitations including that more images of patients in different positions are needed to improve the generalisability of the tool in real life. They also note that monitoring of the patient's consciousness may improve the accuracy in distinguishing between high-risk behaviour and voluntary movement

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News Release 3-Jun-2019

Six fingers per hand


University of Freiburg


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IMAGE: Congenital six-fingered hand with additional muscles to move the extra finger which yield augmented manipulation abilities. The muscles controlling the additional finger (in green) are distinct from the thumb muscles... view more 

Credit: Source: compare „Original Publication ", license: Creative Commons, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0

Polydactyly is the extraordinary condition of someone being born with more than five fingers or toes. In a case study published in Nature Communications, researchers from the University of Freiburg, Imperial College London, the University Hospital of Lausanne, and EPFL have for the first time examined the motor skills and sensorimotor brain areas in people with polydactyly. The results show that an extra finger can significantly extend the manipulation abilities and skill. It enables people with six fingers to perform movements with one hand where people with only five fingers would need two hands. The augmented motor abilities observed in the polydactyly subjects are made possible by dedicated areas in the sensorimotor brain areas. These findings may serve as blueprint for the development of additional artificial limbs extending motor abilities.

The case study of the researchers from Freiburg, London and Lausanne investigates for the first time the movement abilities of people with six fingers per hand. In the case of the two examined subjects, an additional finger between thumb and forefinger is fully formed on each hand. "We wanted to know if the subjects have motor skills that go beyond people with five fingers and how the brain is able to control the additional degrees of freedom," explains Prof. Dr. Carsten Mehring from the University of Freiburg and the Bernstein Center Freiburg.

To find out the extent of their abilities, the researchers had the subjects perform several behavioural experiments, and their brain activity was monitored using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI). The results show that the subjects' extra fingers are moved by own muscles. This allows the subjects to move their extra fingers as far as possible independently of all other fingers. "Our subjects can use their extra fingers independently, similar to an additional thumb, either alone or together with the other five fingers, which makes manipulation extraordinary versatile and skilful. For instance, in our experiments subjects can carry out a task with one hand, for which we normally need two hands," summarises Professor Mehring. "Despite the extra finger increasing the number of degrees of freedom that the brain has to control, we found no disadvantages relative to five-finger people. In a nutshell, it is amazing that the brain has enough capacity to do it without sacrificing elsewhere. That's exactly what our subjects do," says Prof. Dr. Etienne Burdet of Imperial College London.

To understand how the brain of polydactyly subjects controls the additional fingers, the scientist used high-resolution functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI). "We found dedicated neural resources that control the sixth finger, and the somatosensory and motor cortex are organized exactly to allow for the additional motor skills observed," comment Prof. Dr. Andrea Serino and Dr. Michael Akselrod, who carried out the neuroimaging studies at EPFL and Lausanne University Hospital.

The study of these polydactyly hands could advance the development of additional artificial limbs to expand people's motor skills. For example, an extra arm to help working alone in a narrow environment, or to enable a surgeon carrying out operations without an assistant. However, the scientists note, "The additional extremities have been trained in the subjects since birth. This does not necessarily mean that similar functionality can be achieved when artificial limbs are supplemented later in life. Yet, people with polydactyly provide a unique opportunity to analyse the neuronal control of extra limbs and the possibilities of sensorimotor skills."

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News Release 3-Jun-2019

Large national study tracks veterans' health, highlights areas of unmet needs

Brief survey allows identification of health disparities in veterans relative to the general population

Northwestern University


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•Novel data describes use of instrument that encourages vets to report on their health using a brief survey
•PROMIS self-reported outcomes matched physician diagnoses documented in medical records
•This tool may serve as a motivator for some veterans who are hesitant to seek medical care
•Findings provide fuller picture of national health, allow health professionals to see how everyone, including veterans, is doing


CHICAGO --- For the first time, a large national population of United States veterans used the same standardized tool that the general population uses for tracking health.

More than 3,000 veterans from across the country used the tool to self-report their health in the study led by a researcher from Northwestern Medicine and the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. Findings showed that veterans scored worse in several areas, including feeling more anxiety, depression, fatigue, sleep disturbance and pain compared to people in the general population.

These self-reported outcomes were valid because they matched physician diagnoses documented in medical records, the study found.

The study's scientists believe patient self-reporting will be a successful way to track the health of veterans, who may be hesitant to seek medical care.

The self-reporting tool - a survey called PROMIS-29 - is commonly used in the general population but not widely or systematically offered to veterans. The scientists mailed the survey to veterans for this study, which is the first to report PROMIS-29's use in a large national cohort of veterans.

"These are our nation's veterans. They served our country, and they deserve access to things made available to everyone," said lead author Sherri LaVela, a research associate professor of physical medicine and rehabilitation at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine and a department of veterans affairs scientist. "The PROMIS instrument is being used more and more for health care, and we hope to see it integrated into veteran care as well."

The instrument used in the study may be a useful tool for health care providers to assess veteran patient's physical and mental health, as indicated by the positive associations between scores and clinical documentation which suggests clinical validity for targeted measures, LaVela said.

The study was published last week in the Journal of General Internal Medicine.

The VA serves more than 8.3 million veterans in the U.S. annually.

"Seeing how veterans fare relative to population norms is important because it gives us a fuller picture of their health and allows us a cursory glance at how they are doing in general," LaVela said. "Estimates like this are important because they provide normal ranges for health measures across cohorts.

"Veterans have enhanced options of seeking care outside the VA, which makes it crucial to have an accurate measurement of health status and symptoms among population-based samples. Being able to simply, yet effectively, collect these data will identify unmet needs in which to intervene."

Patients using PROMIS-29 answered a short series of questions about their health and quality of life. The survey is scored to indicate if they are experiencing disturbed sleep, anxiety, depression or pain, for instance. Given the responses, the patient and their health care team can follow up and schedule a doctor's appointment.

"If a veteran has poor scores, we want to get them in and take a look," LaVela said.

Veterans in the study also scored lower for physical function than civilians and lower for satisfaction with social role, such as being satisfied with their ability to work, do regular personal and household responsibilities, and perform daily routines.

Patient-reported data can be used to inform health care providers about symptoms, perceived state of health and are especially important to understand patient experiences among people with chronic diseases.

The ability to quickly and easily identify health disparities in veterans is important because it can prompt health care providers to intervene. For example, the study found that relative to general population norms, veterans reported worse scores for pain interference. The VA has been integrating innovative, patient-centric approaches ways into treatment options. Using pain as an example, the VA has a stepped-care pain management approach that can be used for intervention, and recently the VA implemented mindfulness types of interventions to help veterans with pain, post-traumatic stress disorder, and other conditions that may afflict veterans, LaVela said.

Former Marine Dustin Lange said seeing how a veteran's health stacks up against the general population can serve as much-needed motivation for a veteran to go see the doctor.

"A lot of times, veterans might be hesitant to go to the hospital or not get proper checkups," said Lange, a U.S. Veteran who spent eight years in the Marines and is now the associate director of the Chez Center for Wounded Veterans in Higher Education at University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign.

Lange has taken the PROMIS-29 survey, though not for this study. His score indicated some disturbances in his sleep, which prompted him to schedule a doctor's appointment. His clinical checkup validated his PROMIS-29 results. Lange said he hopes PROMIS-29 becomes more widely available for veterans, because he thinks it could motivate veterans to see a doctor.

"As a vet, you're able to see, 'Am I having similar problems to the general population? Do I have higher sleep or pain problems?" Lange said. "Seeing that difference from the general population could prompt a vet to visit the VA and get help

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3-Jun-2019

Hormone produced during pregnancy repurposed to treat painful joint condition

Multiple injections of ligament-loosening relaxin restored range of motion in animal model of "frozen shoulder" syndrome

Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center


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BOSTON - Beginning in the first trimester of pregnancy, the body begins to produce the hormone relaxin, which loosens the expectant mother's muscles, joints and ligaments to help her body accommodate a growing baby and prepare for birth. When Edward Rodriguez, MD, PhD, Chief of Orthopedic Trauma in the Department of Orthopedic Surgery at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center (BIMDC) observed that patients with a common and painful joint condition called arthrofibrosis experienced long-lasting relief during and after pregnancy, he reached out to his colleagues in the lab to confirm his suspicion that relaxin could explain the phenomenon.

In a first-of-its-kind study, Rodriguez collaborated with Ara Nazarian, PhD, a principal investigator in the Center for Advanced Orthopaedic Studies at BIDMC, and Mark Grinstaff, PhD, Professor of Chemistry at Boston University, to investigate whether relaxin's joint-loosening properties could be applied to alleviate symptoms of arthrofibrosis. The team found that multiple injections of human relaxin directly into the afflicted joint restored range of motion and improved tissue health in an animal model of frozen shoulder, a painful and debilitating form of arthrofibrosis particularly common among middle aged, often diabetic women. The findings are published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academies of Sciences.

"Current treatment options for arthrofibrosis, such as physical therapy and medication provide only marginal or temporary relief and do not address the source of the pain and stiffness," said Nazarian, who is also Associate Professor of Orthopaedic Surgery at Harvard Medical School. "While more research is needed, repurposing this pregnancy hormone as a treatment for arthrofibrosis could provide an unprecedented opportunity."

Most common in the shoulders, knees, hips, wrists and ankles, arthrofibrosis affects more than five percent of the general population. Characterized by pain accompanied by a reduction in range of motion, arthrofibrosis is caused by an excessive build-up of scar tissue in the joint, triggered by injury, trauma, long-term immobility, or surgery. Up to a third of patients who have undergone ACL reconstruction surgery can end up with arthrofibrosis.

In the new study, using human cells in vitro, Nazarian and colleagues showed that a specific version of the hormone, human relaxin-2, inhibits cells' production of scar tissue and by indirectly downregulating production of collagen - the strong protein that supports joints and other tissues throughout the body, but is overproduced in scarring. Next they showed in an animal model of frozen shoulder that multiple injections to the joint resulted in significant and lasting improvements in range of motion, while a single injection to the joint, or systemic treatment did not. Similarly, when the scientists looked at the joint tissues, the animals that received multiple injections of relaxin to the joint appeared to undergo changes indicating restorative healing.

More studies will be necessary before investigating relaxin's efficacy for treatment of arthrofibrosis in humans, but the team is optimistic that the naturally-occurring and well-tolerated hormone could offer relief for millions of people.

"Arthrofibrosis is a widespread disease, occurring in all joints, and its high incidence, limited treatment options and poor patient outcomes call for alternative and effective non-surgical solutions," said Rodriguez, who is also an Associate Professor of Orthopaedic Surgery at Harvard Medical School. "The local delivery of relaxin-2 offers a potential paradigm shift in the treatment for the millions of individuals who are affected by arthrofibrosis every year."

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Trap-and-release accelerates study of swimming ciliated cells

Researchers use ultrasound to streamline measurement of movement

Washington University in St. Louis
Researchers at Washington University in St. Louis have been studying cilia for years to determine how their dysfunction leads to infertility and other conditions associated with cilia-related diseases. Now, they will be able to perform these studies more rapidly through a new method that uses sound waves to momentarily trap cells propelled by cilia, then releases them to measure their movement as they swim away.

An interdisciplinary team led by J. Mark Meacham, assistant professor of mechanical engineering & materials science in the McKelvey School of Engineering, and students in his lab used an acoustic microfluidic approach that uses ultrasonic standing waves within a small fluid-filled chamber to collect groups of the single-cell green algae cells Chlamydomonas reinhardtii, a model organism for studying human cilia. The so-called acoustic trap takes advantage of material properties of the cell bodies to hold them in place without damaging them. By first collecting the cells, the team can efficiently analyze hundreds of cells in minutes. Results were published in and featured on the inside back cover of the journal Soft Matter in the June 12, 2019, print edition.

"Think of it as a tiny cage made by the ultrasound field," Meacham said. "The cells are trying to find a way to escape but are pushed back by the waves that make up the cage walls. When the walls are removed, they are free to run."

Cilia are tiny hair-like structures in cells that line our lungs, nose, brain and reproductive systems. They are designed to sweep out fluids and microbes to keep people healthy. When they malfunction, infertility, chronic middle-ear infections, water on the brain and other conditions can develop.

Susan Dutcher, professor of genetics and of cell biology and physiology at the School of Medicine and a co-author on the paper, works with C. reinhardtii and hundreds of its genetic variants, or mutants, to study ciliary behavior and dysfunction. Analyzing so many variants using current methods, which manually trace individual cells, would take a very long time, Meacham said.

"It is useful for Dr. Dutcher to rapidly classify her cells based on swimming effectiveness and to choose those that are of most interest for the more laborious and tedious, detailed analysis," Meacham said. "That's what this type of population-based method really helps with, allowing us to analyze a large number of given mutants in a short time."

For this work, the team used three genetic variants of C. reinhardtii cells from Dutcher's lab as models.

Meacham and a doctoral student, Minji Kim, first author on the paper, developed the microfluidic chip, which is small enough that two of them fit on a 1- by 3-inch glass slide. Cells entered and exited through inlet and outlet channels connected to a circular chamber at the center of the device -- which is like a large, open holding pen for the cells -- before the ultrasound is turned on. Kim and Meacham inserted fluid containing the cells into the device, then activated the ultrasound via a piezoelectric transducer. The ultrasonic waves reflect off of the chamber walls to create pressure wells within the circular chamber, which trap the cells into a group at the chamber's center.

After imaging the cells, the researchers turn off the ultrasound, effectively opening the cage door and allowing the cells to swim off.

"This acoustic trap allows us to do this interesting type of analysis that we couldn't do any other way," Meacham said. "We can trap and release a cell population, analyze it, load up the next population, trap, release, analyze, and load up the next one in a matter of tens of seconds to a minute per sample to get a graded measure of swimming capability for the different cell types."

Analysis of spreading cells is easily automated because swimming starts from a single location, Meacham said. Cells appear as black pixels in successive images of the released cells. The change in shape of the cells is then related to swimming speed.

"We observe them swimming for one to three seconds, then once we have those images, the process of analyzing them is automated," Kim said. "We can get the motility measurement from about 50 cells in an automated way considerably faster than by having to track individual cells."

Ultimately, the team seeks to provide researchers with a tool that categorizes cells based on their movement capability, whether for cataloging C. reinhardtii mutants or for assessing sperm cell motility, Meacham said

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Ngày Ăn 3 Bữa Là Đang Giết Chết Cơ Thể?









Bạn có biết thói quen ăn 3 bữa một ngày tiềm ẩn nhiều nguy cơ gây hại tới sức khỏe, hãy điều chỉnh ngay một cách khoa học nhất!






Ăn uống cần khoa học để đảm bảo sức khỏe




Theo nhà nghiên cứu lịch sử Abigail Carroll, những bữa ăn ngày nay xuất phát từ ảnh hưởng cấu trúc văn hóa của người di cư châu Âu tác động đến người Mỹ bản địa.

Thói quen ăn ba bữa một ngày bắt nguồn từ sự áp đặt của người di cư Châu Âu khi họ đến Mỹ định cư.

Những người bản địa Mỹ thường ăn bất cứ khi nào họ đói chứ không phải lúc đồng hồ chỉ giờ sáng, trưa hay tối.




Sau cuộc cách mạng công nghiệp, con người bắt đầu biến bữa giữa ngày thành bữa trưa chính và bữa sau giờ làm thành bữa tối, rồi dành chỗ cho bữa ăn sau giấc ngủ vào buổi sáng.

Trong cuốn sách mới của mình tên là "Three Squares: The Invention of the American Meal", bà Carroll nói rằng người châu Âu định cư trên đất Mỹ ăn vào những giờ quy củ.

Họ xem điều này là văn minh hơn người bản địa - những người ăn uống theo ý thích, dùng thực phẩm theo mùa và thi thoảng còn nhịn đói.

Đến nay chưa có bằng chứng nào cho thấy việc ăn uống đúng giờ, đủ bữa đảm bảo cho sức khỏe.

Chẳng hạn, theo bà Carroll, bữa sáng được coi là bữa ăn quan trọng trong ngày có thể là hệ quả từ các chiến dịch quảng cáo của các công ty ngũ cốc và nước trái cây.






Hãy ăn uống một cách khoa học nhất để đảm bảo sức khỏe.




Chúng ta nên ăn mỗi ngày bao nhiêu bữa ăn?

Nếu như một số người phụ nữ đang tìm kiếm biện pháp giảm cân , dựa trên chiều cao/ trọng lượng, mức độ hoạt động hiện tại và di truyền học, nó có thể là lượng calo của bạn sẽ cần phải có khoảng 1200 - 2000 calo mỗi ngày.




Để tìm cách xây dựng cơ bắp dựa trên chiều cao/ trọng lượng, mức độ hoạt động hiện tại và di truyền học, thì có thể lượng calo của bạn sẽ cần phải được giữa 3000 - 4000 calo mỗi ngày.








Đừng quên bổ sung sữa protein vào một trong các bữa ăn trong ngày của mình.




Thực tế, một nghiên cứu năm 2014 do Đại học Bath (Anh) cho thấy, một người dù ăn sáng hay không cũng chẳng ảnh hưởng đến tổng lượng calo họ tiêu thụ trong ngày.

Những người ăn sáng nạp nhiều calo hơn người bỏ bữa nhưng lại loại bỏ lượng calo thừa vào cuối ngày, nghĩa là tổng lượng tiêu thụ calo như nhau.




Nghiên cứu mới cho thấy bỏ bữa và nhịn đói có thể thực sự có lợi cho sức khỏe, giúp giảm cân và củng cố hệ thống miễn dịch.

Nghiên cứu tương tự của Đại học Alabama (Anh) cho thấy ăn sáng hay không chẳng tạo sự khác biệt nào đến người ăn kiêng đang cố gắng giảm cân.

Nghiên cứu mới cho thấy, việc nhịn ăn có thể thực sự tốt cho sức khỏe.

Phe ủng hộ chế độ ăn theo tỷ lệ 5:2, tức giới hạn thực phẩm chỉ 500 calo vào hai ngày trong một tuần, nói rằng việc hạn chế thức ăn này giúp giảm cân, tăng tuổi thọ và làm huyết áp thấp hơn.

Một nghiên cứu cho thấy nhịn đói hai ngày hay hơn nữa có thể giúp khởi động lại hệ thống miễn dịch, đặc biệt nếu nó đã bị hư hỏng do tuổi tác hay điều trị ung thư.




theo Khỏe & Đẹp

[florida80]

WVU study: Diabetics exposed to common household chemicals have lower heart disease rates

MORGANTOWN, W.Va.--Chemicals found in nonstick cookware, cleaning products and paint may help lead to new treatments for heart disease in diabetic adults, according to a West Virginia University epidemiologist's research.

Kim Innes, of the WVU School of Public Health, and her colleagues recently discovered that greater exposure to perfluoroalkyl substances was associated with lower rates of existing coronary heart disease in adults with diabetes. PFAS, considered a public health threat by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, are manufactured chemicals that were popularized by various industries in the 1940s because of their ability to repel oil and water.

In this study, researchers investigated the association of blood PFAS levels to coronary heart disease using data gathered as part of the C8 Health Project. A large, community-based study launched in 2005, the C8 Health Project was created to address the potential health effects stemming from contamination of West Virginia and Ohio drinking water with the PFAS perfluorooctanoic acid (also called C8) between 1950 and 2004.

Of the 5,270 adults with diabetes in this study--led by Baqiyyah Conway, University of Texas Health Science Center at Tyler--1,489 had been diagnosed with coronary heart disease previously, and 3,781 had not. The researchers investigated the relation between blood levels of four PFAS and coronary heart disease, considering the participants' age, sex, race, BMI, smoking history, duration of diabetes, kidney function, chronic kidney disease and other traits.

"In this cross-sectional study of adults with diabetes, the likelihood of reporting a diagnosis of coronary heart disease declined with increasing blood levels of four PFAS after adjustment for demographics, BMI and other factors," Innes said.

The four PFAS were also inversely related to the likelihood of coronary heart disease in adults without diabetes, but these associations were far less pronounced than in people with the condition.

It remains unknown exactly how PFAS might lower heart disease risk, but as Innes pointed out, "several factors could explain the inverse association." For example, PFAS may reduce inflammation. It's also possible that PFAS increases the body's sensitivity to insulin or ability to transport oxygen. All of these effects might promote heart health.

Because the study used data collected at a single point in time--rather than multiple times, over several years--it could not determine whether exposure to PFAS caused heart disease rates to drop. It could only establish an association between PFAS exposure and lower heart disease rates. But the research team is planning studies to fill this knowledge gap.

"The next step will be to conduct additional longitudinal studies in the C8 and other cohorts in order to assess the relation of baseline PFAS blood levels to subsequent risk for incident coronary heart disease in those with and without diabetes," Innes said. "Such research will help determine if the inverse association observed in this study might reflect a causal association between PFAS and the development of coronary heart disease."

If longitudinal studies bear out the current findings, they may inform new therapies for preventing coronary heart disease in people with diabetes.

"The findings of this paper in no way suggest that PFAS should be released into drinking water or the environment," Innes said. "With few exceptions, you wouldn't want any substance--including those with certain established health benefits, such as coffee and aspirin--contaminating the water. It is important to remember that PFAS are complex compounds that may have both positive and negative effects on health."

[florida80]

4-Jun-2019

For Latinos with diabetes, new study looks at ways to improve medication adherence

Certain lifestyle changes and low-cost interventions may improve how patients manage their medication regimen

University of Southern California - Health Sciences


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IMAGE: Keck School of Medicine of USC, Los Angeles. view more 

Credit: Ricardo Carrasco III

LOS ANGELES -- Latino adults have higher diabetes rates than non-Latinos, yet research shows they are less likely to correctly follow medication instructions provided by their doctors. Furthermore, diabetes can set off a cascade of medical complications, requiring multiple medications that often create a challenging daily regimen. In a new study coming out of the Keck School of Medicine of USC, student researchers have identified several potential approaches for improving medication adherence among Latinos.

Simple measures such as giving patients pillboxes for their medications, helping patients' family members understand their medication regimen and having patients attend weekly education sessions about managing the disease through lifestyle changes are all ways that patients could improve medication adherence.

The study also points toward specific challenges that underserved Latinos may be facing. Such challenges include having difficulty understanding what their medications are for, keeping track of their medications and feeling that they may take too many medications. Cohorts in this study took an average of 6.5 prescribed medications daily.

"Obtaining patients' perspectives is key to finding solutions that help improve their medication adherence and health outcomes," says Andrea Bañuelos Mota, the study's first and corresponding author. "Not only do our findings suggest several potential approaches to intervention for Latinos with diabetes, but they could also pave the way for the development of future evidence-based guidelines." Bañuelos Mota is currently enrolled in the Keck School's Doctor of Medicine/Master of Public Health (MDMPH) degree program.

Published in the Journal of General Internal Medicine (JGIM) on June 4, the cross-sectional study involved conducting surveys of 120 patients from across four safety net clinics in Los Angeles. Patients were at least 18 years old, self-identified as Latino/Hispanic/Chicano, were diagnosed with diabetes for more than six months, and were taking multiple diabetes medications. Furthermore, the study's dependent variable was patients with "controlled diabetes" (i.e., having a hemoglobin A1c level of less than 7.5%) versus patients with "uncontrolled diabetes" (i.e., having a hemoglobin A1c level equal to or greater than 7.5%).

"This study is exemplary of excellent primary care research and brings awareness to the language and literacy barriers faced by our immigrant communities, which health care providers must address to deliver quality medical care," says Jo Marie Reilly, MD, MPH, professor of clinical family medicine (educational scholar). Reilly leads the Keck School's Primary Care Initiative, a program created to promote careers in primary care and the one through which this study was established.

Conceived and led entirely by a team of five medical students -- including Andrea Bañuelos Mota, Emilio Ernesto Feliz Sala, Jennifer M. Perdomo, Joel Alejandro Solis and Walter M. Solorzano -- the study also marks an achievement for the Keck School initiative. "JGIM is one of the highest ranked general internal medicine journals, so it is particularly impressive that a student group got a paper accepted," says Michael Hochman, MD, MPH, a faculty mentor on the project with Reilly. Hochman is an associate professor of clinical medicine and serves as director of the USC Gehr Family Center for Health Systems Science.

[florida80]

Native Hawaiians at far greater risk for pancreatic cancer

Twenty years of data reveal surprising disparities

University of Southern California


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Native Hawaiians are at highest risk for pancreatic cancer, according to a USC study that provides a surprising look at disparities surrounding the deadly disease.

The findings -- published May 8 in the journal Cancer Medicine -- could help focus efforts to prevent pancreatic cancer, which will kill an estimated 45,750 people in the United States this year.

The study shows:

•Native Hawaiians have a 60% increased risk for pancreatic cancer, compared to European Americans.
•Japanese Americans have a 33% increased risk for pancreatic cancer, compared to European Americans.
•African Americans have a 20% increased risk for pancreatic cancer, compared to European Americans.


"The greater risks in Native Hawaiians and Japanese Americans, compared to whites -- in addition to the already reported increased risk in African Americans -- are new, important findings," said senior author Veronica Wendy Setiawan, associate professor of preventive medicine at the Keck School of Medicine of USC. "This study underscores the importance of studying diverse populations in cancer research."

For the research, scientists turned to the Multiethnic Cohort Study, established in 1993-1996 by USC and the University of Hawaii to investigate patterns in cancer incidence. The study includes more than 215,000 people recruited from Los Angeles County and Hawaii. The main ethnic groups represented are European American, African American, Latino American, Japanese American and Native Hawaiian.

Participants completed self-administered questionnaires, which included information on demographics, medical conditions, family history of cancer and lifestyle factors. Individuals were excluded if they had a prior pancreatic cancer diagnosis or were missing information integral to the study.

The resulting group numbered 184,559 individuals: 100,969 females and 83,590 males. The largest racial/ethnic group was Japanese Americans (29%), followed by European Americans (25.1%), Latino Americans (22%), African Americans (16.7%) and Native Hawaiians (7.3%).

There were 1,532 cases of pancreatic cancer over an average follow-up period of 16.9 years. The researchers took into account family history of pancreatic cancer, diabetes, smoking, body mass index, alcohol and red meat consumption. They said 20% of the cases could be attributed to smoking, obesity and red meat intake.

The study doesn't answer why certain groups are more at risk but it did make a number of observations about risk factors, including:

•Family history of pancreatic cancer was slightly more prevalent in Japanese Americans.
•Native Hawaiians and African Americans were more likely to be current smokers.
•Diabetes mellitus was more common in African Americans, Latino Americans and Native Hawaiians.
•Red meat intake was highest among African Americans, Latino Americans and Native Hawaiians.


"Our results show that African Americans are not the only minority populations with increased risk of pancreatic cancer," Setiawan said. She added that Latinos and whites are at similar risk.

Approximately 56,770 people -- roughly 12.9 per 100,000 people -- will be diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in the United States in 2019, according to the National Cancer Institute. There are no symptoms in the early stages; it is often detected late and has a poor prognosis.

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Diabetes drug alleviates anxiety in mice

Findings could have implications for patients with metabolic and mental disorders

Society for Neuroscience


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IMAGE: This is a model underpinning the effects of metformin on depressive symptoms in mice fed a HFD. view more 

Credit: Zemdegs et al., JNeurosci (2019)

The antidiabetic medication metformin reduces anxiety-like behaviors in male mice by increasing serotonin availability in the brain, according to a study published in JNeurosci. These findings could have implications for the treatment of patients with both metabolic and mental disorders.

People with diabetes have an increased risk for mood disorders such as depression. Although the mechanisms underlying the relationship between insulin resistance -- the precursor to diabetes -- and depression are not known, studies suggest the neurotransmitter serotonin may be the culprit.

In mice raised on a high fat diet, Bruno Guiard and colleagues demonstrate that the insulin-sensitizing drug metformin reduces levels of amino acids that impair the entry of tryptophan in the brain and thereby limit its conversion into serotonin. The drug's antidepressant-like effects were accompanied by improved neurotransmission in the hippocampus. The researchers achieved similar effects by reducing the amount of so-called branched chained amino acids in the diet.

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Manuscript title: Metformin promotes anxiolytic and antidepressant-like responses in insulin-resistant mice by decreasing circulating branched-chain amino acids

Please contact media@sfn.org for full-text PDF and to join SfN's journals media list.

About JNeurosci

JNeurosci, the Society for Neuroscience's first journal, was launched in 1981 as a means to communicate the findings of the highest quality neuroscience research to the growing field. Today, the journal remains committed to publishing cutting-edge neuroscience that will have an immediate and lasting scientific impact, while responding to authors' changing publishing needs, representing breadth of the field and diversity in authorship.

About The Society for Neuroscience

The Society for Neuroscience is the world's largest organization of scientists and physicians devoted to understanding the brain and nervous system. The nonprofit organization, founded in 1969, now has nearly 37,000 members in more than 90 countries and over 130 chapters worldwide.

[florida80]

Researchers restore beta-cell function by deleting old cells

Acceleration of beta-cell aging determines diabetes -- senolysis improves disease outcomes

Joslin Diabetes Center


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VIDEO: Cristina Aguayo-Mazzucato, MD, PhD, explains her research into the application of senolysis to the rejuvenation of beta-cell function in type 2 diabetes. view more 

Credit: Joslin Communications Office


BOSTON - (May 30, 2019) --Research from Joslin Diabetes Center has shown in mice that insulin resistance increases the proportion of aged beta-cells which are dysfunction. Such an increase in aged beta-cells could lead to type 2 diabetes. These researchers confirmed similarly increased proportion of aged beta-cells in islets recovered from humans with type 2 diabetes. The study also showed that beta cell function can be recovered by removing these aged populations either via genetic modification or oral medication.

"Our hypothesis was that there was an important component in the development of diabetes which consisted of accelerated aging of beta-cells and that this population could be targeted therapeutically," says Cristina Aguayo-Mazzucato, MD, PhD, Assistant Investigator in the Section on Islet Cell and Regenerative Biology, first author on the paper, recently published in Cell Metabolism.

This research falls into a broader field of the study of senescence. Senescence is the slow decline of proliferation and function of a specific cell population. These cells accumulate as organisms grow older, but certain circumstances can cause some cells in an organism to age faster than the whole.

The research team, led by Dr. Aguayo-Mazzucato, generated animal models of insulin resistance and tracked the proportion of senescent beta-cells.

"What we found is that indeed, insulin resistance was increasing the amount of senescent or old beta-cells," she says.

Next, they deleted the aged cells through either genetic manipulation or medications that are known to remove senescent cells. The results were striking.

"We were able to recover beta cell function, we were able to restore glucose tolerance," says Dr. Aguayo-Mazzucato

The ability to restore beta cell function with minimal intervention could be a game changer in the care of type 2 diabetes. For many people with the disease, beta cell function declines to the point where they need injectable insulin. Should this research be borne out in clinic trials, the implications for treatment could be huge.

"When you look at the absolute percentage or quantity of the senescent beta-cells, they rarely exceed 20 percent of the whole beta cell population and yet targeting this relatively minor population had a huge effect on function and glucose metabolism and cellular identity," she says.

Medications to delete senescent cells , termed senolytics, are still under investigation. Dr. Aguayo-Mazzucato and her team hope to bring a potential treatment closer to the clinic by partnering with companies that are already working on senolytics, to test if their medications would work for people with diabetes.

"This opens a new target to treat diabetes which is basically to target populations of old or senescent cells that are really contributing to the local disfunction," she says.

Senolysis, or the removal of aged or dysfunctional cells, is a growing field in the treatment of age-related diseases. This new research fits into the larger picture of how senolytics could help combat many different diseases of aging, leading to better quality of life.

"In fact, it's a very exciting and rapidly growing field in medicine, which is called Senolytics or Senolysis," says Dr. Aguayo-Mazzucato. "It has promises, as shown by other laboratories, in osteoarthritis, muscle frailty or degeneration, renal function, some brain function."

While the work was completed in models of type 2 diabetes, the findings could also be relevant in type 1 diabetes.

"What we're seeing is that senescence is, in reality, a response to stress. In the case of type two diabetes, this stress is insulin resistance. In the case of type one diabetes, it is the immune attack on beta-cells," she says. "But in both models, beta-cells are responding to these stresses by becoming senescent. So, we think that the potential of this new vision of preventing diabetes will be valid for both type one and type two."

[florida80]

Intelligent algorithms for genome research

New repository 'Kipoi' improves access to machine learning models

Technical University of Munich (TUM)


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Although the importance of machine learning methods in genome research has grown steadily in recent years, researchers have often had to resort to using obsolete software. Scientists in clinical research often did not have access to the most recent models. This will change with the new free open access repository: Kipoi enables an easy exchange of machine learning models in the field of genome research. The repository was created by Julien Gagneur, Assistant Professor of Computational Biology at the TUM, in collaboration with researchers from the University of Cambridge, Stanford University, the European Bioinformatics Institute (EMBL-EBI) and the European Molecular Biology Laboratory (EMBL).

Trained models freely available

"What makes Kipoi special is that it provides free access to machine learning models that have already been trained," says Julien Gagneur. "What we are doing with Kipoi is not just sharing data and software, but sharing models and algorithms that are already trained on the most relevant data. These models are ready to use, because all the cumbersome work of applying them to data has already been done," says Anshul Kundaje, Assistant Professor at Stanford. More than 2,000 trained models are currently freely accessible on Kipoi. In a recent study published in Nature Biotechnology, the researchers show that the new repository will accelerate exchange in the genomics community and thereby advance genome research.

Fast algorithms and easy operation

Because Kipoi simplifies access to already trained models, researchers can perform transfer learning. This means that a model that has already been trained with a particular dataset is capable of learning a similar task faster. Kipoi also simplifies the process of feeding data into the models stored there: Standardized file formats and software frameworks reduce the installation and execution of a model to three simple commands. Those who previously had no experience in machine learning can thus also easily use the repository.

Understanding individual genomes

As Kipoi is oriented towards models that link genotype and phenotype, the new platform will make it easier to identify genetic causes of disease: "Kipoi puts the latest deep learning models trained on massive genomics data at the fingertips of clinical researchers," says Julien Gagneur. "This provides very exciting opportunities to understand individual genomes, for instance to pinpoint genetic variants causing diseases or to interpret mutations occurring in tumors."

However, the extent of the platform's contribution to genomic research will also depend on the genomics community. "We hope that in the future more researchers will bring their models to our repository," says Oliver Stegle, team leader at the EMBL-EBI. "That is the only way we can make genomics analysis accessible and ultimalely make a wider range of predictive machine learning tools available to the genomics community

[florida80]

Bariatric surgery can be safe and effective for adolescents


Pediatricians are often reluctant to recommend bariatric surgery for teen-agers, but a Rutgers-led study concludes it is a justifiable treatment for adolescents with persistent extreme obesity if they can maintain a healthy lifestyle afterward.

The researchers reviewed studies on bariatric surgery in adolescents and adults in their report in The Journal of Pediatrics.

"If we look at obesity as a disease with the real possibility of eventual organ system failure and special health concerns for adolescents, we need to ask whether health care practitioners are doing enough to manage it," said lead author Ahmed Khattab, a physician at Rutgers Robert Wood Johnson Medical School's Division of Pediatric Endocrinology. "The objective evidence shows that, under the right circumstances and with the right patients, bariatric surgery is an effective treatment for adolescents with obesity."

The findings are consistent with those of a separate study, published May 16 in the New England Journal of Medicine.

Obesity and its related conditions, including hypertension, cardiovascular disease and type 2 diabetes, are increasing worldwide in adults and children, according to the study. Excess weight and obesity in adolescents cost more than $14 billion per year. Meanwhile, type 2 diabetes causes more severe insulin deficiency and other complications in youths than in adults and the steps being taken to avoid obesity or prevent its complications are often ineffective.

Although bariatric surgery requires lifelong follow-up and monitoring of nutritional deficiencies, it is considered effective for severe obesity in adults, leading to long-term improvement or remission in obesity-related diabetes and other disorders, sustained weight loss and an improved quality of life.

Studies of bariatric surgery in adolescents, although scarce, show it is associated with remission of type 2 diabetes, abnormal kidney function and other complications of obesity, and that resulting nutritional deficiencies can be corrected with dietary supplements.

When considering bariatric surgery for teenagers, the researchers recommend pediatricians follow the guidelines published by the Endocrine Society. They recommend the procedure only for patients who have neared the end of puberty and are close to their final adult height; who have extreme obesity and related complications that persist despite the patient's compliance with a formal program of lifestyle modification; and who demonstrate the ability to follow a regimen of healthy eating and living habits.

The researchers also follow the Endocrine Society in saying bariatric surgery is not recommended for patients who have not mastered healthy eating and living habits or who have unresolved substance abuse, eating or psychiatric disorders

[florida80]

Stiffening arteries in teenagers with persistent obesity


University of Gothenburg


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IMAGE: Frida Dangardt, first author, Associate Professor in Clinical Physiology at Sahlgrenska Academy, University of Gothenburg, and a doctor at Queen Silvia Children's Hospital, part of Sahlgrenska University Hospital in Gothenburg,... view more 

Credit: Photo by Johan Wingborg

Children and adolescents with long-term obesity have increased arterial stiffness by their late teens, a study of more than 3,000 children followed from age 9 to 17 shows. These results, in the researchers' view, call for more initiatives to reduce teenage obesity.

"The teens are a key period for measures to tackle obesity, since doing so then brings better health in the long term," states Frida Dangardt, the first author of the article. She is Associate Professor in Clinical Physiology at Sahlgrenska Academy, University of Gothenburg, and a doctor at Queen Silvia Children's Hospital, part of Sahlgrenska University Hospital in Gothenburg, Sweden.

The study, published in The Lancet Child & Adolescent Health, covers 3,423 children whose body composition was measured at ages 9, 11, 13, 15 and 17. The method used was DEXA (dual energy X-ray absorptiometry) scanning for whole-body measurement with weak X-rays. DEXA scans yield clear figures on fat, muscle and bone proportions in the body.

Assessing obesity in a population of children and adolescents through puberty is otherwise difficult. Using Body Mass Index (BMI) as a measuring method is complicated by children's increasing muscle mass and rapid growth spurts.

In the study, the scientists investigated whether blood vessels, too, were affected by other risk factors for cardiovascular disease, such as high blood pressure, high blood lipid (fat) levels and high blood sugar. These factors were associated to some extent with increased arterial stiffness at age 17, but mainly for those who had obesity.

"We've been able to demonstrate that fat mass as such is what is most strongly associated with arterial stiffness, but that inferior metabolic health boosts this effect," says Frida Dangardt.

Stiffness in the arteries, which is gauged by measuring pulse-wave velocity, is a clear sign of atherosclerosis. In adults, it entails elevated risks of heart attack, stroke and death from cardiovascular disease.

However, the study showed that it is possible to influence arterial stiffness. The children and adolescents who normalized their fat mass also attained normal arterial resilience -- a key result for future research on weight-loss programs.

"The fact that we can see, already in the teenage years, that a decrease in fat mass brings about a normalization of the arterial stiffness is positive, since it shows we can do something about this risk," says Frida Dangardt.

The DEXA scanning measurement method is emphasized as a key factor in the context. The study makes it clear that this method is considerably more reliable than BMI for studying obesity trends in childhood and adolescence.

[florida80]

High sugar levels during pregnancy could lead to childhood obesity

Audio interviews available

University of Tennessee at Knoxville


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AUDIO


AUDIO: Samantha Ehrlich, professor of public health at the University of Tennessee, explains how gestational diabetes can increase the risk of early childhood obesity. view more 

Credit: University of Tennessee

The children of women who have high glucose blood levels during pregnancy, even if their mothers are not diagnosed with gestational diabetes, are at an increased risk of developing obesity in childhood, according to a new study published in PLOS One.

The study was coauthored by Samantha Ehrlich, professor of public health at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville and fellow researchers at Kaiser Permanente Northern California.

For the research, scientists analyzed the data of more than 40,000 pregnant women who delivered babies between 1995 and 2004 in the Kaiser Permanente Northern California health care system. They also considered the data of the children, whom they followed until 5 to 7 years of age.

In the United States, pregnant women get a blood glucose screening test between weeks 24 and 28. If the test shows elevated blood glucose levels, an additional test is then done to determine whether the woman has gestational diabetes mellitus, or GDM.

However, Ehrlich and team found that once elevated levels of blood glucose are found on the screening test, even if the blood glucose is not elevated enough for a diagnosis of gestational diabetes, the children are at higher risk of developing obesity between 5 to 7 years of age. In this scenario, the risk increases by 13 percent when compared to women with normal blood glucose levels on the screening test.

"And if the woman is indeed diagnosed with gestational diabetes, the risk of the child developing obesity increases by 52 percent," according to Ehrlich.

Additionally, researchers also found that if the mother has a normal body mass index (BMI), elevated blood glucose levels during pregnancy were no longer associated with the development of childhood obesity.

"This information is important because it suggests that we may be able to prevent childhood obesity in two ways: by helping mothers to achieve a normal BMI before they become pregnant, and by reducing hyperglycemia during the pregnancy," Ehrlich said.

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[florida80]

News Release 3-Jun-2019

Brush your teeth -- postpone Alzheimer's

You don't only avoid holes in your teeth by keeping good oral hygiene, Norwegian researchers have discovered a clear connection between gum disease and Alzheimer's disease

The University of Bergen


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IMAGE: For several years, Piotr Mydel has done research investigating how different bacteria are implicated in Alzheimer's disease. view more 

Credit: Kim E. Andreassen

The researchers have determined that gum disease (gingivitis) plays a decisive role in whether a person developes Alzheimer´s or not.

"We discovered DNA-based proof that the bacteria causing gingivitis can move from the mouth to the brain," says researcher Piotr Mydel at Broegelmanns Research Laboratory, Department of Clinical Science, University of Bergen (UiB).

The bacteria produces a protein that destroys nerve cells in the brain, which in turn leads to loss of memory and ultimately, Alzheimer´s.

Brush your teeth for better memory

Mydel points out that the bacteria is not causing Alzheimer´s alone, but the presence of these bacteria raise the risk for developing the disease substantially and are also implicated in a more rapid progression of the disease. However, the good news is that this study shows that there are some things you can do yourself to slow down Alzheimer´s.

"Brush your teeth and use floss". Mydel adds that it is important, if you have established gingivitis and have Alzheimer´s in your family, to go to your dentist regularly and clean your teeth properly.

New medicine being developed

Researchers have previously discovered that the bacteria causing gingivitis can move from the mouth to the brain where theharmful enzymes they excrete can destroy the nerve cells in the brain. Now, for the first time, Mydel has DNA-evidence for this process from human brains. Mydel and his colleagues examined 53 persons with Alzheimer´s and discovered the enzyme in 96 per cent of the cases.According to Mydel, this knowledge gives researchers a possible new approach for attacking Alzheimer´s disease.

"We have managed to develop a drug that blocks the harmful enzymes from the bacteria, postponing the development of Alzheimer´s. We are planning to test this drug later this year, says Piotr Mydel.

Facts: Gingivitis

•The bacteria Porphyromonas gingivalis (P.gingivalis) is one of the main causes to infection in the gums.
•The bacteria causes chronic infection in the gums, but can move to the brain where it can damage nerve cells in the brain.
•Circa 50 per cent of the population have this bacteria in one or another form.
•Circa 10 per cent of the ones having this bacteria will develop serious gum disease, loose teeth, and have an increased risk of developing Alzheimer´s disease.
•In addition to Alzheimers, the bacteria is linked to rheumatism, COPD and esophageal cancer.

[florida80]

Dartmouth study reveals how ACOs use home visits to improve care and reduce hospital use


The Dartmouth Institute for Health Policy & Clinical Practice


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A new Dartmouth-led study, published this week in the June issue of Health Affairs, offers new details about how one key approach--home visits--is helping many ACOs improve care management and identify patient needs while aiming to reduce hospital use. The study was part of a broader set of research based at Dartmouth focused on how ACOs care for patients with complex clinical and social needs.

ACOs--groups of physicians, hospitals, and other healthcare providers who voluntarily form partnerships and agree to take responsibility for meeting certain quality and total costs of care measures--may employ a variety of strategies, approaches, and processes to meet their goals. Over the past decade, they have played an increasingly prominent role in efforts to reform the American healthcare system.

"We focused on ACOs because we felt that their responsibility for total costs of care might motivate them to implement care delivery innovations that otherwise might be too resource-intensive," explains lead author Taressa Fraze, PhD, a research scientist at The Dartmouth Institute for Health Policy and Clinical Practice.

The researchers used national survey data from physician practices and ACOs, paired with qualitative interviews with 18 ACOs across the country to learn more about home-visiting programs.

They found that the majority of ACOs believed that home visits were valuable--80 percent reported using home visits within 72 hours of post-discharge for at least some of their patients. These ACOs were more likely to be larger and part of a system, including a hospital, and to participate in risk-bearing contracts or other payment reforms. They also found that physician practices with ACO contracts were more likely to report using home visits for care transition than non-ACO practices.

Home visits were typically embedded as part of a larger care management, care transition, or disease management program. "ACOs used home visits much more broadly than we might have expected, and they were usually conducted by a care management team member rather than a clinician," says Fraze, who is presenting the study's findings this week in Washington, DC, as part of a national panel discussion on community care for high-needs patients.

"These visits were not focused on providing clinical care," she emphasizes. "At their heart, they were essentially a fact-finding mission--described by several ACOs as providing 'eyes in the home.'"

The three most commonly reported activities during home visits were: needs assessments, which included inspecting the patient's home; medication reconciliation; and identifying patient barriers to managing their health. These activities provided staff members with an opportunity to coach patients on how to manage their health needs.

Interestingly, the researchers also found that home visits functioned similarly across different patient cohorts--patients who were post-discharge, for example, had similar home visits as those with social risks or specific chronic conditions.

"One of the things that was quite unique about ACOs, and that we really didn't expect, was that several used home visits as a way to locate patients, such as those who might have missed their primary care appointment, were unresponsive, or if the ACO was concerned that the patient might be at especially high risk for costly utilization," Fraze says.

However, despite the value perceived in home visits, ACOs continued to face challenges such as reimbursement, staffing capacity, and the inability to address observed patient needs.

"Our findings that larger and system-based ACOs were more likely to implement resource-intensive home visits creates concerns about the ability of smaller, independent practices and organizations to use home visits as a tool to engage patients and discover barriers to improved care," she says. "These organizations may need further financial or logistical support to implement home visits."

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[florida80]

Facial bones of black adults age differently than other races, Rutgers study finds

Study has implications for cosmetic surgery, which black individuals seek twice as often as white


Facial bones in black adults maintain higher mineral density as they age than other races, resulting in fewer changes to their facial structure, a Rutgers study finds.

The study, published in JAMA Facial Plastic Surgery, is the first to document how facial bones change as black adults age. The findings suggest significant differences in how facial bones age across races, which can affect how plastic surgeons approach facial rejuvenation. About 16 percent of black adults seek cosmetic procedures -- double that of whites.

"It is important for plastic surgeons to understand how the facial aging process differs among racial and ethnic groups to provide the best treatment," said study lead author Boris Paskhover, an assistant professor at Rutgers New Jersey Medical School's Department of Otolaryngology, who specializes in facial plastic and reconstructive surgery.

How a face ages is determined by a combination of changes to the skin, muscle, fat and bones that naturally occur as people grow older. However, most facial rejuvenation procedures historically have focused on the soft tissue, using treatments like face-lifts and injectable fillers.

"As bones change, they affect the soft tissue around them, resulting in perceived decreases in facial volume," Paskhover said. "Treatment should consider the underlying bone structure."

As people grow older, they can lose bone mineral density, which results in bone loss. In the face, this loss can affect the shape of the nose, lower jowl area, cheekbones and middle and lower areas of the eye sockets.

To understand how facial bones age in black adults, researchers analyzed medical records from 1973 and 2017 of 20 black patients -- 14 women and six men between ages 40 and 55 -- who had at least two facial computed tomographic (CT) images taken on average a decade apart without any surgical intervention and self-reported as being black. While the comparative images showed a significant change in the facial bones over time in the black patients, these changes were minor compared to similar studies on the aging white population.

"This finding reflects other studies that show black adults have higher bone mineral density, decreased rates of bone loss and lower rates of osteoporosis as compared to the general population," Paskhover said.

Previous studies on how facial bones age have ignored race or were limited to whites, and studies on ethnic groups focused on the differences in skin composition rather than bone changes, he said.

"These other studies have shown that the Caucasian population saw more significant bone changes over a decade, especially in the lower forehead and upper jawbone, than the black group in this study, Paskhover said. "Since this population may experience less mid-facial bone loss than whites, it suggests that bony volume loss may not contribute as much to the aging face appearance."

[florida80]

Researchers identify link between more frequent, intense heat events and deaths in Las Vegas


Desert Research Institute


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IMAGE: Heat Index (HI) and Excess Heat Factor (EHF) are metrics that go beyond just temperature to also account for the human body's response to heat. This study found that rising... view more 

Credit: DRI

Over the last several decades, extreme heat events around the world--particularly in the American Southwest--have gotten hotter, occurred more frequently, and lasted longer. These trends pose significant health risks to the growing number of people making cities like Las Vegas home.

A new study by scientists at the Desert Research Institute (DRI), Nevada State College, Universidad de Las Americas Puebla, and several undergraduates from Nevada State College traces the relationship between extreme heat and mortality rates, identifying a clear correlation between heat wave episodes and heat-related deaths in Las Vegas over the last ten years.

"Current climate change projections show an increased likelihood of extreme temperature events in the Las Vegas area over the next several years," explained Erick Bandala, Ph.D., an assistant research professor at DRI and lead author on the study. "Understanding recent extreme heat trends and their relationship to health hazards is essential to protecting vulnerable populations from risk in the future."

Urban areas of the Southwest are of particular concern because several factors compound the health-related risks of extreme heat events. The heat-absorbing properties of common materials like asphalt exacerbate already high temperatures in cities (called the urban heat island effect), particularly at night. What's more, populations in cities like Las Vegas are growing rapidly, especially among those 55 and older, which means that more and more people are exposed to risk.

In this study, the research team analyzed two measures of extreme heat--heat index and excess heat factor--for the Las Vegas metropolitan area in the June, July, and August months from 2007 to 2016. Heat index (HI) accounts for how the human body reacts to surface temperature and relative humidity. Excess heat factor measures (EHF) heat wave intensity in relation to historic temperature trends to account for how acclimated the public is to a given temperature threshold. Because both HI and EHF incorporate the human body's response to extreme heat, they are ideal metrics for assessing public health impacts, and both were shown to rise over the study period.

The annual average of severe heat events per year in Las Vegas also showed significant increases in this study, from an average of 3.3 events per year from 2007-2009 to 4.7 per year in the 2010-2016 period. These findings match historic trends, which show a steady increase in the severity and frequency of excess heat in Las Vegas since 1980.

Strikingly, the number of heat-related deaths in Las Vegas map onto these trends: as heat wave intensity increases, the number of heat-related deaths does, too.

"From 2007 to 2016, there have been 437 heat-related deaths in Las Vegas, with the greatest number of those deaths occurring in 2016," explained Bandala. "Interestingly, 2016 also shows one of the highest heat index measures over the last 35 years. This shows a clear relationship between increasingly intense heat events in our area and public health effects."

Bandala's team found that the subpopulation, particularly at risk of heat-related deaths, is adults over 50 years old--76% of the heat-related deaths in the study period were individuals in this subpopulation. Of the deaths in this group, almost all individuals also showed evidence of pre-existing heart disease. Researchers note that these findings are highly significant given that the population of adults over 50 in Las Vegas is increasing, with more retirees choosing Clark County as a retirement destination.

Only 23% of heat-related deaths occurred in the subpopulation of adults aged 20 to 50 years; interestingly, the most common pre-existing condition for this group was drug and alcohol use. More research is needed to understand how heat is impacting this segment of the population, Bandala noted, because though the number of deaths in this group is comparatively smaller, it is still nearly one-quarter of heat-related deaths in the Las Vegas Valley. Additionally, this subpopulation includes economically active adults.

With more intense, more frequent, and longer lasting heat events projected in the coming years, the research team hopes that the trends identified in this study can assist local decision-makers in taking steps to protect the most vulnerable groups in Las Vegas.

"This research helps us better understand the connection between the climate changes we've experienced in Las Vegas and their impact to public health over the last 35 years," Bandala said. "Ideally, this data analysis will help our community adapt to the changes yet to come."

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Limiting warming to 2 degrees C will require emission cuts across entire food system

Feeding 10 billion people and keeping Earth from overheating this century require not only major changes to agriculture, but transformation of the entire food system, according to a new review

International Center for Tropical Agriculture (CIAT)


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IMAGE: A food market in Nicaragua. view more 

Credit: Adriana Varón / CIAT


Agriculture and the food system have long been challenging subjects for climate negotiators at the United Nations' annual gathering to advance the global agenda on climate change. Issues related to mitigation, fiscal responsibility, subsidies, food sovereignty, cultural identity and national agriculture-based economies have long made the topics taboo, says Ana María Loboguerrero, the head of Global Policy Research of the CGIAR Research Program on Climate Change, Agriculture and Food Security (CCAFS), led by the International Center for Tropical Agriculture (CIAT).

Better understanding agriculture and the food system's unique place in climate change - as both drivers of climate change and victims of it - is helping to increase support for climate action. Unfortunately, progress across the food system is lagging, according to a new analysis published in Sustainability by Loboguerrero and CCAFS colleagues. To change this, the researchers are calling for climate change adaptation and mitigation strategies for agriculture to extend to the entire food system.

"If you think about the two-degree increase, efforts need to go beyond the agricultural sector," said Loboguerrero. "This means reducing emissions by stopping deforestation, decreasing food loss and waste, reducing supply chain emissions, and rethinking human diets, if we really want to get on track to that target."

Agriculture is typically lumped together with forestry and land-use to account for about 25 percent of global greenhouse gas emissions. On its own, agriculture accounts for about 10-12 percent of all emissions. But up to one-third of food produced is wasted between the farm and the table. This accounts for another 8 percent of global emissions, and if just 25 percent of this waste could be saved, it would be enough to feed 870 million people a year.

The review found that adoption of emission-reducing practices in agriculture is slow. Even under the most optimistic uptake scenarios, studies have shown that by 2030 these practices will only contribute 21-40 percent of a one-gigaton reduction in carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions, which would be about 1 percent of current annual CO2 emissions. On the other hand, food waste reduction presents such an important opportunity for reducing emissions intensity. Across regions, agricultural production wastes about one-third of food in the production stage. In rich countries, most of the loss comes in the consumption stage.

"Food loss and waste is a big opportunity," Loboguerrero said. "Addressing this issue can reduce emissions intensity, potentially improve global nutrition and boost the bottom line for smallholders, who are hardest hit by losses on the farm."

Another challenge in bringing down emissions from agriculture is the projected growth of meat and dairy production. By 2000, the sector contributed an estimated 18 percent of all human-caused greenhouse gas emissions, when accounting for related deforestation and land-use change as well. Given current trends in population growth and meat consumption, the sector could account for about a quarter of all emissions by 2050.

"Reducing meat and dairy emissions needs to be a priority," said Lini Wollenberg, Flagship Leader of CCAFS' low-emissions development research. "And the good news is that we have lots of options in the pipeline, ranging from low-emissions cattle to meat alternatives. We need more research and development to make some of these options a reality."

Planned migration and other hard discussions

The review analyzes some 160 papers across global agriculture and food systems, but focuses primarily on smallholder farming and food supply chains, which sustain as many as 2.5 billion people. Small holders contribute about one-third of global agriculture emissions (or about 3-4 percent of the global total) but smallholders are disproportionately exposed to climate risk.

Many farmers can adapt, provided access to the proper tools. These include technology that can help increase smallholders' access to climate information and markets, insurance schemes that can reduce risk of crop loss, government support including social safety nets, and the implementation of climate-smart agriculture (which seeks to increase smallholder productivity, help farms adapt to climate change and reduce their contribution to climate change).

But desertification, sea-level rise, soil degradation, and other inevitable changes have placed hundreds of millions of people on an irreversible track to migration, even if rapid global action is taken on climate.

"There are some farmers that shouldn't do agriculture at all due to already precarious conditions that do not allow them to ensure a meaningful livelihood, and with climate change, it is going to make it worse," Loboguerrero said. "If that migration is going to happen anyway, then policymakers and planners need to really start thinking about this and how they can work with these migrants to help them find better livelihoods where they migrate."

Back at the negotiation table, Loboguerrero says adaptation - learning to cope with the problem - is a far easier sell than mitigation - reducing emissions - which is often seen as constraining farming options and increasing costs. This is the case for some economies that depend heavily on agriculture. In the long term however, the costs of adaptation will possibly be larger, and reducing emissions now will help reduce the need to adapt.

"There is a lot of tension and you can see it when you go into the negotiations. Some countries don't even want to begin discussions on the mitigation side of things," Loboguerrero said. "Adaptation is something that everyone, however, agrees is necessary. Everyone is keen on discussing adaptation. Some adaptation measures have the co-benefit for mitigation. It's like an entrance to discussing some things at some points that are a little bit taboo in the negotiations."

[florida80]

A combination of insecticides and mite weakens honeybees


University of Bern


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IMAGE: A Varroa destructor mite on the thorax of an experimental Western honeybee, Apis mellifera. view more 

Credit: Geoffrey R. Williams


The Western honeybee is the most important managed pollinator globally and has recently experienced unsustainably high colony losses in many regions of the world. Synergistic interactions among stressors are believed to be primarily responsible. Despite the clear negative impact of certain neonicotinoids and the ubiquitous ectoparasitic mite Varroa destructor on exposed honeybees, no data existed to show synergistic effects between these two stressors.

Current data that was collected at the University of Bern and Agroscope, in cooperation with the Auburn University (USA) and Chiang Mai University (Thailand), suggest a novel possible previously overlooked mechanism for recent unsustainably high losses of managed honeybee colonies. The results were published in "Scientific Reports", an Open-Access Journal of "Nature". According to the authors, the study underlines the importance of developing sustainable agro-ecosystem management schemes that incorporate reduced used of neonicotinoids and sustainable solutions for V. destructor mites.

A negative combination

Two stressors having a clear negative impact on the health of honeybees are insecticides and the ubiquitous ectoparasitic mite Varroa destructor. These mites originated from Asia, and have switched hosts from Eastern honeybees Apis cerana to Western honeybees Apis mellifera to become the most serious biotic threat to Western honeybees globally. Similarly, there is evidence for negative impact of widely used neonicotinoid insecticides. However, no data existed so far to show synergistic effects between these two stressors.

In the present work, honeybee colonies exposed to two neonicotinoids (thiamethoxam and clothianidin) via pollen paste feeding, did not affect honeybee worker mass or longevity. However, when in combination with V. destructor infestation, a synergistic negative effect was observed. Whilst a negative synergism was observed for body mass in both summer and autumn, it was only observed for survival 16 weeks post neonicotinoid colony exposure. The revealed results suggest a previously overlooked time-lag effect of neonicotinoid exposure. Because honeybee colonies in temperate regions must produce significant quantities of long-living winter bees to survive, the observed negative synergistic effects on individual winter honeybee longevity are most likely compromising colony survivorship.

Sustainable solutions required

"Beekeepers in many regions of the world face losses of their colonies, which are far too high", says Prof. Peter Neumann of the Institute of Bee Health at the University of Bern, co-author and president of COLOSS. Due to the present evidence for interactions between insecticides and mites, the authors stress the importance of developing sustainable agro-ecosystem management and varroa-management schemes. "Reduced usage of insecticides and sustainable solutions for V. destructor mites in agriculture and beekeeping are urgently required", adds Dr. Lars Straub, first author and Post-Doc at the Institute of Bee Health

[florida80]

Should STEMI patients recover in the ICU?


Michigan Medicine - University of Michigan


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IMAGE: Providers need more clear guidance on whether a patient who has suffered from STEMI heart attack should recover in the intensive care unit, a new University of Michigan study in... view more 

Credit: Michigan Medicine

A trip to an intensive care unit can be more than twice as costly as a stay in a non-ICU hospital room, but a new study finds intensive care is still the right option for some vulnerable patients after a severe heart attack.

The difficulty lies in determining which people are best served in the ICU while they recover.

The new Michigan Medicine (University of Michigan) research, published in The BMJ, found ICU admission was associated with improved 30-day mortality rates for patients who had a STEMI heart attack and weren't clearly indicated for an ICU or non-ICU unit.

"For these patients who could reasonably be cared for in either place, ICU admission was beneficial," says lead author Thomas Valley, M.D., M.Sc., an assistant professor of internal medicine at Michigan Medicine, who cares for patients in the intensive care unit.

But Valley cautions against simply continuing to send nearly everyone to the ICU.

"ICU care is a treatment just like any medication," Valley says. "Providers need to know whether it's right for an individual person just like we try to do with a prescription drug."

The researchers analyzed Medicare data from more than 100,000 patients hospitalized with STEMI, or ST-elevation myocardial infarction, a dangerous heart attack that requires quick opening of the blocked blood vessel to restore blood flow. Those patients were hospitalized at 1,727 acute care hospitals across the U.S. in a nearly two-year period from January 2014 to October 2015, and most were sent to the ICU after treatment.

"A lot of the focus is on getting these people to the cardiac catheterization lab as soon as possible to open up the blood vessel, but less is known about what you do after that," Valley says.

Current U.S. guidelines don't address whether to send patients to the ICU, while European guidelines recommend the ICU.

Valley says providers could use more clear guidance on how to make these decisions.

In this study, the mortality rate was 6.1% lower after 30 days for those admitted to their hospital's ICU. Valley says the surprising results--in the face of other studies that show ICU overuse--demonstrate that ICU care is misdirected.

'An important debate in cardiology'

This study addresses an important issue in ICU care, says Michael Thomas, M.D., an assistant professor of internal medicine who runs the Cardiac ICU at Michigan Medicine's Cardiovascular Center.

"At Michigan Medicine, all of our STEMI patients are admitted to the Cardiac ICU," says Thomas, who was not involved with the BMJ paper. "However, knowing where to send these patients after STEMI is an important debate in cardiology right now."

"Some recent studies suggest many patients don't need ICU level of care and that it wastes resources. But before we pull back from this model, we need to understand this problem more fully," he says.

Across the nation, 75% of STEMI heart attack patients are sent to the ICU, most of the time after reperfusion treatment in the cath lab to open up the blocked vessel.

ICU vs. non-ICU care

People recovering from a STEMI are some of the very sick patients ICUs were originally designed for, so providers may not even think about disrupting the longtime status quo, Valley says.

"The historical thinking was, 'Why not send everyone to the ICU?' Now, we see that there are risks associated," Valley says. "For example, in the ICU, you're more likely to have a procedure, whether you need it more or not.

"We must also consider the risk of infection, sending someone to a unit full of really sick patients who might have C. diff or other serious infections."

The sleep quality as people are recovering from their heart attacks may also be lower in the ICU, because patients are given such close nursing care, Valley says.

That's necessary for the sickest patients, but it might be disruptive to those people on the bubble who could be getting better rest on a regular floor, he says.

Medicare has requirements for what constitutes ICU care, such as high nurse staffing levels and access to lifesaving care.

"Because of Medicare requirements, ICUs tend to be more similar across hospitals than non-ICUs," Valley says.

"Perhaps some hospitals can take care of patients anywhere, while others really need to use the ICU at high rates in order to provide safe care."

A clear benefit for some, increased cost for others

Valley says these data show a clear benefit of ICU care for vulnerable patients, as opposed to non-STEMI patients studied who did not have a significant difference in mortality rates with or without ICU admission.

"Physicians might look at STEMI patients and wonder, 'Do they really need the ICU? Could it harm them? Is it a good use of resources?'" Valley says.

Valley, a member of U-M's Institute for Healthcare Policy and Innovation, has previously found ICU overuse occurred for less critical patients hospitalized for a flare-up of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) or heart failure. In that study, ICU admission dramatically increased cost of care without an increased survival benefit.

The next step, according to Valley, is to determine what is beneficial about the ICU for those patients who benefit from it. He says that could lead to hospitals adopting some ICU care practices on non-ICU floors.

Valley hopes making non-ICU floors more similar to the ICU in some ways could improve outcomes while reducing cost of care and infection risk

[florida80]

Home exercise program reduces rate of falling in at-risk seniors


University of British Columbia


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An in-home exercise program reduced subsequent falls in high-risk seniors by 36 per cent, according the results of a 12-month clinical trial published today in the Journal of the American Medical Association.

The study, conducted by UBC faculty of medicine researchers in partnership with the clinical team at the Falls Prevention Clinic at Vancouver General Hospital, found a reduction in fall rate and a small improvement in cognitive function in seniors who received strength and balance training through the clinical trial.

"When we think about falls we often think about loss of muscle strength and poor balance," said Dr. Teresa Liu-Ambrose, principal investigator at the Vancouver Coastal Health Research Institute and professor in the department of physical therapy at the University of British Columbia. "However, the ability to remain upright and not fall is also dependent on cognitive abilities--calculating how far to lift your foot to get over a curb, making a decision as to when to cross the road, and paying attention to your physical environment while you are having a conversation."

Falls increase risk of injury and loss of independence for older adults. Exercise is a widely recommended fall prevention strategy, but whether it can reduce subsequent falls in those who have previously fallen is not well established.

The study involved 344 adults aged 70 and older who had been referred to the Falls Prevention Clinic following a fall that had resulted in a visit to a medical facility, such as an emergency room. Participants had a history of falls, with an average of three prior falls per person, and generally had symptoms of frailty and limited mobility.

The study had participants perform a set of balance and resistance training exercises in the comfort of their homes, using simple equipment such as free weights, a minimum of three times per week. Over the course of six months, a physical therapist made five home visits to prescribe exercises and ensure that exercises were done properly. For those who completed the program, the results were notable. Participants were less likely to experience repeat falls, and as a secondary benefit, they improved in some markers of cognitive function.

Falls in older adults are the third-leading cause of chronic disability. According to the Public Health Agency of Canada, 20 to 30 per cent of Canadian seniors suffer falls each year, and falls are the leading cause of hospitalization for adults over age 65.

"It is well known that exercise benefits older people in general, but what was special about this study group was that they are at very high risk for losing their independence--they had both mobility and cognitive impairments and another fall may mean the inability to live in their own homes. Many already had difficulty navigating public spaces independently," said Liu-Ambrose, who holds a Canada Research Chair in Physical Activity, Mobility, and Cognitive Neuroscience.

"Older adults who experience falls that require medical attention falls are medically complex and at high risk for both morbidity and mortality, and we demonstrated that exercise is a practical and cost-effective intervention that can improve older peoples' outcomes after a significant fall," she added.

Liu-Ambrose and her team at the Centre for Hip Health and Mobility are now looking at whether the exercise program resulted in reduced health care utilization and medical cost savings in this high-risk population.

[florida80]

Study: Cholesterol in eggs tied to cardiac disease, death

UMass Lowell expert stresses moderation, balance in daily diet

University of Massachusetts Lowell


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LOWELL, Mass. - The risk of heart disease and death increases with the number of eggs an individual consumes, according to a UMass Lowell nutrition expert who has studied the issue.

Research that tracked the diets, health and lifestyle habits of nearly 30,000 adults across the country for as long as 31 years has found that cholesterol in eggs, when consumed in large quantities, is associated with ill health effects, according to Katherine Tucker, a biomedical and nutritional sciences professor in UMass Lowell's Zuckerberg College of Health Sciences, who co-authored the analysis. The study was published in the Journal of the American Medical Association.

The study results come as egg consumption in the country continues to rise. In 2017, people ate an average of 279 eggs per year, compared with 254 eggs in 2012, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture.

Current U.S. Dietary Guidelines for Americans do not offer advice on the number of eggs individuals should eat each day. The guidelines, which are updated every five years, do not include this because nutrition experts had begun to believe saturated fats were the driving factor behind high cholesterol levels, rather than eggs, according to Tucker. However, prior to 2015, the guidelines did recommend individuals consume no more than 300 milligrams of cholesterol a day, she said.

One large egg contains nearly 200 milligrams of cholesterol, roughly the same amount as an 8-ounce steak, according to the USDA. Other foods that contain high levels of cholesterol include processed meats, cheese and high-fat dairy products.

While the new research does not offer specific recommendations on egg or cholesterol consumption, it found that each additional 300 milligrams of cholesterol consumed beyond a baseline of 300 milligrams per day was associated with a 17 percent higher risk of cardiovascular disease and an 18 percent higher risk of death.

Eating several eggs a week "is reasonable," said Tucker, who noted they include nutrients beneficial to eye and bone health. "But I recommend people avoid eating three-egg omelets every day. Nutrition is all about moderation and balance."

Research results also determined that study participants' exercise regimen and overall diet quality, including the amount and type of fat they consumed, did not change the link between cholesterol in one's diet and risk of cardiovascular disease and death.

"This is a strong study because the modeling adjusted for factors such as the quality of the diet," Tucker said. "Even for people on healthy diets, the harmful effect of higher intake of eggs and cholesterol was consistent."

[florida80]

-Jun-2019

Physical inactivity proved risky for children and pre-teens

Researchers from UNIGE have shown that children lose their motivation to participate in physical activities in PE classes at school from the age of 9

Université de Genève


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Cardio-respiratory capacity in children has dropped by 25% in 20 years, according to a study by the University of Adelaide in Australia. There are multiple reasons for this, from the social environment and the decreasing number of play areas to a more academic approach towards teaching physical education and the spread of new technologies. But at what age do children lose the desire to exercise? Researchers from the University of Geneva (UNIGE), Switzerland, followed 1,200 Geneva pupils, aged 8 to 12, for two years. The team found out that from the age of 9, the positive reasons for exercising - it's fun and good for your health - begin to be replaced by more displaced incentives: to get a good mark or improve your image with others. These results, which are published in the journal Psychology of Sport and Exercise, call for a more detailed analysis of how PE is taught in schools to counter physical inactivity leading to a sedentary lifestyle from an early age.

Society today is characterized by an increasingly sedentary way of life and a decline in physical activity, which is reflected in the growing number of overweight children (16% of children aged 6 to 12 in Switzerland). In an earlier study, UNIGE researchers noted that the recommendations issued by the World Health Organisation (WHO) for the amount of exercise undertaken by school-age children were not being met, namely: children should be active for at least 50% of the time devoted to physical education lessons in primary school. In reality, they move on average only 38% of the time. And as children grow older, the percentage drops. Why?

Positive motivations decline as the child grows older

The UNIGE researchers tracked 1,200 Geneva pupils aged 8 to 12 for two years. The children had to complete a questionnaire every six months to measure their motivation levels according to a seven-point scale based on different motivational controls related (or not) to practising the actual activity: enjoyment, learning, health, grades, satisfying other people, integration, avoiding guilt or shame, and so forth. "Our results showed for the first time that there is a sharp drop in positive motivations for physical activity (with good motivational qualities), such as pleasure or health, over a child's time at primary school from age 9 onwards", explains Julien Chanal, a researcher in the Psychology Section of UNIGE's Faculty of Psychology and Educational Sciences (FPSE). "And we've never observed this decline at such a young age!" On the other hand, motivations considered counterproductive (with poor motivational qualities) - such as undertaking the activity to get a good grade or to send a positive image to one's classmates - increase as a child gets older. "It's true that harmful motivations do also mean that a child is physically active but these motivational qualities are only positive in the short term, which is counter-productive for a child's physical development. In fact, we know that if children are motivated by good reasons when they're young, then they'll remain active when they're adults", continues Chanal. But what can be done to fight against the early decline of positive motivations?

Reforming education to increase physical activity

Given that nine years is a crucial age to establish good, healthy and long term physical activity, the way PE is taught at primary school needs to be analysed, since compulsory education is the only place where every child can be reached. "In recent decades," says Chanal, "PE teaching has changed enormously. Classes are more academic, with children learning about rules, motor functioning, mutual support, etc." But this approach has a direct cost for the child since it reduces the actual time dedicated to moderate to vigorous physical activity, which is already rare outside school.

The UNIGE researchers are now working with the Haute École Pédagogique in the canton of Vaud (HEP Vaud) on teaching physical education in primary classes. The aim is to develop autonomy and cooperation among pupils, and to work on the curriculum, course structure and teacher involvement to help them keep or boost their positive motivations for physical education. "Now that children don't move as much as before outside school, it's vital that the periods earmarked for PE maximize the time they spend moving", adds Chanal. "This is especially the case since, once again, we fall below the standards prescribed by the WHO. Their recommendation is 150 minutes of physical education per week, while students in Geneva only have 135 minutes available, or three periods of 45 minutes each." Teaching physical education has an important role to play in this new global health problem, which affects children at a younger age.

[florida80]

researchers caution against expecting exercise to act as a panacea for humans.

"A very important part of this research is that the mice were not forced to exercise - any physical activity was voluntary. If children are interested, they should be encouraged to do any exercise they want, but this research does not reveal how different activities might affect the brains of children with ASD," said Koyama.

Fitness for the mind

About a decade ago, small trials in children began showing that regular exercise could improve the social difficulties and repetitive behaviors common in ASD. Although many studies investigated how exercise can make large-scale changes to already healthy brains or postpone age-related neurodegeneration, there were no studies on the fine-tuned changes that exercise might make in brains with ASD.

Although the brains of healthy children naturally prune away redundant connections between neurons as they age, a defining feature of the brains of people with ASD is too many connections.

The results from the mouse model study indicate that exercise may somehow activate the brain's normal pruning processes.

"Exercise likely enhanced the contrast between active and inactive neuronal connections so that the weak ones could be more easily targeted for removal," said Koyama.

A gym for mice

ASD model mice display lifelong behaviors of neurodevelopmental difference: They interact less with new mice, they groom themselves repetitively, and they take longer to start eating when in a new environment, a sign of anxiety.

Researchers placed a running wheel in the corner of the ASD model mice's cages so they could run as much as they wished. Mice had access to the wheel from the time they were four weeks old until eight weeks old. Mice are adults at eight weeks old.

"Part of the variability of our data is that we could not give all mice the same amount of exercise. Some mice may have exercised just a little, some may have exercised very intensely," said Koyama.

Despite wide variation between individual mice, overall, ASD model mice that could exercise showed behavior that was similar to healthy mice after just 30 days of access to the running wheel.

Cellular studies for a closer look

Researchers performed additional experiments to look inside the brains of ASD model mice.

Specifically, researchers focused on a structure called mossy fibers in the hippocampus, an area of the brain thought to be important for memory and a source of new neurons (neurogenesis) in adults. Individual neurons can be connected to dozens of mossy fibers sent out by other neurons.

Immune cells called microglia change brain structure by engulfing and digesting less active synapses, which is why they are sometimes referred to as "the brain's garbage collectors."

Researchers used molecular genetics and fluorescent imaging techniques to identify which mossy fibers were most active and saw that microglia spared those active synapses, while removing the less active ones nearby.

Researchers also connected microglia to synaptic pruning in healthy mice. Juvenile mice without ASD were given medication to prevent normal microglia activity. After just five days of medication, researchers detected significant differences in the density of brain synapses between mice whose microglia were inhibited and their unmedicated peers.

Although the causes of ASD are an area of active research, Koyama's research team states that the reversible aspects of ASD and the connection between exercise and microglia should also receive continued attention.

[florida80]

Exercise fine-tunes brain's connections, eases autism spectrum disorder in mouse model


University of Tokyo


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Researchers at the University of Tokyo have studied how exercise can change the structure of mouse brains modeling autism spectrum disorder. Researchers specifically looked at connections between neurons in the... view more 

Credit: Photo by Ryuta Koyama, CC-BY.

A mouse model of autism has revealed how exercise changes the structure of the brain by eliminating the excess connections between neurons characteristic of autism spectrum disorder (ASD). After one month of voluntary running on a wheel, behavioral differences disappeared and structural differences in ASD model mice's brains were reduced.

"Voluntary exercise can be a safe, drug-free way to improve overall health and now we have a better understanding of how exercise can positively change brain structure in ASD," said Associate Professor Ryuta Koyama, who led the research team at the University of Tokyo.

This research study was performed in mice and researchers caution against expecting exercise to act as a panacea for humans.

"A very important part of this research is that the mice were not forced to exercise - any physical activity was voluntary. If children are interested, they should be encouraged to do any exercise they want, but this research does not reveal how different activities might affect the brains of children with ASD," said Koyama.

Fitness for the mind

About a decade ago, small trials in children began showing that regular exercise could improve the social difficulties and repetitive behaviors common in ASD. Although many studies investigated how exercise can make large-scale changes to already healthy brains or postpone age-related neurodegeneration, there were no studies on the fine-tuned changes that exercise might make in brains with ASD.

Although the brains of healthy children naturally prune away redundant connections between neurons as they age, a defining feature of the brains of people with ASD is too many connections.

The results from the mouse model study indicate that exercise may somehow activate the brain's normal pruning processes.

"Exercise likely enhanced the contrast between active and inactive neuronal connections so that the weak ones could be more easily targeted for removal," said Koyama.

A gym for mice

ASD model mice display lifelong behaviors of neurodevelopmental difference: They interact less with new mice, they groom themselves repetitively, and they take longer to start eating when in a new environment, a sign of anxiety.

Researchers placed a running wheel in the corner of the ASD model mice's cages so they could run as much as they wished. Mice had access to the wheel from the time they were four weeks old until eight weeks old. Mice are adults at eight weeks old.

"Part of the variability of our data is that we could not give all mice the same amount of exercise. Some mice may have exercised just a little, some may have exercised very intensely," said Koyama.

Despite wide variation between individual mice, overall, ASD model mice that could exercise showed behavior that was similar to healthy mice after just 30 days of access to the running wheel.

Cellular studies for a closer look

Researchers performed additional experiments to look inside the brains of ASD model mice.

Specifically, researchers focused on a structure called mossy fibers in the hippocampus, an area of the brain thought to be important for memory and a source of new neurons (neurogenesis) in adults. Individual neurons can be connected to dozens of mossy fibers sent out by other neurons.

Immune cells called microglia change brain structure by engulfing and digesting less active synapses, which is why they are sometimes referred to as "the brain's garbage collectors."

Researchers used molecular genetics and fluorescent imaging techniques to identify which mossy fibers were most active and saw that microglia spared those active synapses, while removing the less active ones nearby.

Researchers also connected microglia to synaptic pruning in healthy mice. Juvenile mice without ASD were given medication to prevent normal microglia activity. After just five days of medication, researchers detected significant differences in the density of brain synapses between mice whose microglia were inhibited and their unmedicated peers.

Although the causes of ASD are an area of active research, Koyama's research team states that the reversible aspects of ASD and the connection between exercise and microglia should also receive continued attention.

[florida80]

Bí Quyết Đánh Bay Vết Lở Miệng Ngay Trong Một Đêm






Bệnh nhiệt miệng khiến việc ăn uống và nói chuyện trở nên cực kỳ vất vả. (Ảnh: Internet)




Các vết lở miệng, nhiệt miệng sẽ dịu đi ngay lập tức nếu các bạn áp dụng một trong các mẹo sau đây!


Bị lở miệng, nhiệt miệng là một trong những vấn đề thường gặp, nhất là khi chúng ta căng thẳng, thay đổi nội tiết tố, hệ miễn dịch suy yếu hay tiếp xúc quá nhiều với ánh nắng. Mặc dù không gây nguy hiểm nhưng chúng thường khiến chúng ta cảm thấy đau đớn, khó chịu. Đặc biệt, nếu không biết cách chăm sóc đúng cách, các vết lở có thể chuyển sang dạng viêm cấp, gây tấy đỏ và rất đau, thậm chí còn có thể gây sốt cao, nổi hạch góc hàm khiến cho việc ăn uống sẽ cực kì vất vả.




Vì vậy, để chữa trị bệnh lở miệng, nhiệt miệng một cách nhanh chóng, chúng ta hãy cùng khám phá 5 mẹo cực hay dưới đây. Đảm bảo, chỉ với những nguyên liệu từ thiên nhiên, các bạn sẽ cảm thấy vết lở dịu đi nhanh chóng chỉ trong vòng một đêm.




1. Sữa chua


Sữa chua có nhiều men vi sinh giúp cân bằng vi khuẩn trong miệng và cơ thể. Ăn nhiều sữa chua sẽ giúp liền vết loét miệng và phòng tránh vết nhiệt miệng mới. Ngoài ra, khi thoa sữa chua lên vùng rộp, vết lở sẽ dịu lại nhanh chóng.






Sữa chua không chỉ ngon mà còn rất tốt cho sức khỏe. (Ảnh: Internet)




2. Sữa tươi


Sữa tươi giàu canxi và dưỡng chất tốt kháng lại virus gây bệnh. Đặc biệt, chất béo trong sữa sẽ làm chậm quá trình phát triển của mầm bệnh. Khi thoa một chút sữa tươi lên vùng da bị viêm, giữ khoảng 15 phút, sau đó rửa sạch, áp dụng ngày 4,5 lần, các bạn sẽ thấy hiệu quả rõ rệt.






Chất béo trong sữa sẽ làm chậm quá trình phát triển của mầm bệnh. (Ảnh: Internet)




3. Nha đam


Theo nhiều nghiên cứu, chất nhựa trong nha đam có khả năng gây tê, tính sát khuẩn cao, có tác dụng sát trùng và thanh nhiệt. Vì vậy, sử dụng nha đam có thể giúp làm dịu, điều trị và chữa lành vùng da bị lở. Đồng thời, nó cũng thúc đẩy việc quá trình làm lành diễn ra nhanh hơn, từ đó giảm viêm sưng do mụn nước.






Chất nhựa trong nha đam có khả năng gây tê, tính sát khuẩn cao, có tác dụng sát trùng và thanh nhiệt. (Ảnh: Internet)




Để trị nhiệt, bạn có thể cắt một đoạn nha đam lấy phần nhựa bôi vào vết bị lở loét ở vùng miệng. Việc sử dụng nước thảo mộc chiết xuất từ lô hội, súc miệng hàng ngày cũng làm giảm nguy cơ mắc phải bệnh nhiệt miệng hơn.




4. Túi trà lọc


Không chỉ mang lại một li trà nóng thơm ngon, những túi trà lọc còn có tác dụng nhiều hơn vậy. Nhờ thành phần giàu chất ô xi hóa và acid tannic có đặc tính kháng khuẩn, túi trà lọc được dùng rất nhiều để chăm sóc sức khoẻ và sắc đẹp.






Túi trà lọc có rất nhiều tác dụng trong việc chăm sóc sức khỏe và sắc đẹp.




Đối với chứng nhiệt miệng, sau khi pha xong túi trà, các bạn chỉ cần chườm lên vùng miệng bị lở, giữ một lúc rồi hẳn rửa sạch. Các chất có lợi trong trà sẽ giúp làm lành vết thương, vết lở loét trong miệng.




5. Tỏi

Tỏi có chứa 3 thành phần chính là Allicin, Liallyl sulfide và Ajoene. Trong đó, Allicin là một trong những chất rất quan trọng, có khả năng diệt khuẩn, sát trùng rất tốt. Do đó, khi ép vài tép tỏi và đặt lên các mụn nhiệt hoặc vết lở trong miệng, khoảng 15 phút, các Allicin trong tỏi sẽ phát huy tác dụng, diệt bỏ những loại vi khuẩn, vi rút gây nên các vết lở, vết nhiệt miệng.






Các Allicin trong tỏi sẽ phát huy tác dụng, diệt bỏ những loại vi khuẩn, vi rút gây nên các vết lở, vết nhiệt miệng. (Ảnh: Internet)




Ngoài ra, chúng ta cũng có thể đem tầm 3 – 4 nhánh tỏi, giã nát, lấy nước cốt. Sau đó, ngậm trong miệng khoảng 10 – 15 phút thì nhổ ra và vệ sinh lại bằng nước muối loãng. Thực hiện liên tục cách này khoảng 3 – 5 ngày sẽ giúp vết nhiệt miệng không còn đau nữa và nhanh lành hơn hẳn.




Theo thegioitre.vn

[florida80]

Coi Thức Ăn Là Thuốc, Bác Sĩ Việt Tại Mỹ Chỉ Cách Ăn Uống Ngừa Ung Thư






BS Wynn Huynh Tran




Thức ăn được coi là thuốc, đã là thuốc sẽ có tác dụng phụ. Đồ ăn ngon thì thường có hại. 35% ung thư do ăn uống.




Ung thư đang có xu hướng tăng trên toàn thế giới chứ không riêng tại Việt Nam. Năm 2000, số ca mắc mới ung thư tại Việt Nam là 69.000. Hiện tại, con số này tăng lên 126.000, trong đó có khoảng 94.000 trường hợp tử vong, gấp 9 lần tai nạn giao thông và dự kiến sẽ tăng lên 190.000 ca mắc mỗi mỗi năm vào năm 2020.

Tỉ lệ mắc ung thư ở cả 2 giới là 140/100.000 dân, đứng thứ 78/172 quốc gia và vùng lãnh thổ.




Đáng tiếc, hầu hết các bệnh nhân ung thư ở Việt Nam thường phát hiện bệnh khi đã ở giai đoạn muộn (giai đoạn 3-4), phổ biến từ 70-90%, đặc biệt ung thư phổi (84,3%), ung thư gan (87,8%)...


Theo nhiều nghiên cứu, 80% ung thư do yếu tố môi trường, trong đó chế độ ăn uống không hợp lý và ô nhiễm thực phẩm chiếm tới 35%.




Theo BS Wynn Huynh Tran, đang làm việc tại Mỹ, là người sáng lập tổ chức y khoa VietMD, sở dĩ ăn uống làm tăng nguy cơ ung thư do thức ăn chính là thuốc, tác dụng chính là cung cấp năng lượng cho cơ thể nhưng tác dụng phụ có thể làm tăng đường huyết, tăng mỡ máu... nếu ăn không đúng cách.

“Thức ăn là thuốc, ảnh hưởng trực tiếp đến sức khoẻ hàng ngày nên ăn cái gì hôm nay sẽ ảnh hưởng đến ngày mai. Đồ ăn ngon thì thường có hại”, BS Tran nhấn mạnh.




BS Tran cho biết, ung thư chỉ phát sinh từ 1 tế bào. Bình thường mỗi ngày tế bào sinh ra và chết đi nhưng nếu 1 tế bào ác tính sinh ra, chúng sẽ không mất đi mà nhân lên không kiểm soát được, phát triển thành khối u, gọi đó là ung thư.

“Các loại ung thư khác nhau là khác nhau nên khẳng định đến thời điểm này chưa có loại thuốc nào chữa được tất cả các loại ung thư. Chưa kể cơ địa mỗi người là khác nhau nên việc chữa ung thư khó khăn là vì vậy”, BS Tran chia sẻ.




Ông cũng nhấn mạnh, ung thư không phải 1 bệnh mà là nhiều bệnh tổng hợp lại. Không ai chết vì ung thư nhưng chết vì nhiều bệnh liên quan tới ung thư.

“Khối u không giết chúng ta nhưng khối u khiến ta bị đau, khối u cũng di căn tới gan khiến gan bị hư, di căn đến phổi, di căn đến xương... Bệnh nhân chết vì di căn ung thư chứ không phải vì ung thư”, BS Tran giải thích.




Trái với suy nghĩ của nhiều người, BS Tran cho biết, ung thư phát triển chậm. Ung thư chỉ được phát hiện khi tế bào ác tính nhân lên gấp 1 tỷ lần, tương đương với kích cỡ hạt đậu.

“Chính vì ung thư phát triển chậm nên những gì ăn hôm nay có thể giúp ngăn ngừa được bệnh”, BS Tran nói.

Để ngừa ung thư, BS Tran khuyên mọi người dân nên áp dụng 6 nguyên tắc ăn uống đơn giản sau:

6 nguyên tắc ăn uống ngừa ung thư, tổng hợp từ nhiều nghiên cứu khác nhau. Làm đúng 6 điều này bác sĩ thất nghiệp phân nửa.




1. Uống nhiều nước

Uống ít nhất 2 lít nước/ngày, uống nhiều lần trong ngày, không đợi khát mới nước, uống kèm nước với trái cây, rau củ. Nếu không uống nước cũng giống như chúng ta chạy xe không đổ dầu.

Chúng ta có thể nhịn ăn 30 ngày nhưng nếu không uống nước 2 ngày thì có thể nguy hiểm tới tính mạng nên mới có chuyện tuyệt thực nhưng không ai tuyệt đối không uống nước.

2 lít nước chỉ tính riêng nước lọc, nước canh, không tính các loại nước có đường, có ga như Cocacola, Starbucks, 7Up, Pepsi, thậm chí cả trà.




2. Ăn nhiều rau quả

Hầu hết rau quả tươi đều có chất chống ung thư do đó bữa cơm càng ăn nhiều các loại rau càng tốt như cà rốt, su hào, rau dền, cải tím...






Bữa ăn nên ăn nhiều loại rau củ




Gia đình nào có tiền có thể dùng rau quả hữu cơ, không có tiền thì ăn rau quả tươi thường. Tuy nhiên đừng bao giờ ăn đồ hộp do rau củ trong đồ hộp có chất bảo quản.




3. Bớt ăn thịt đỏ

Trong thịt đỏ (bò, heo...) chứa chất kích viêm, những chất này theo thời gian khiến tế bào dễ bị ác tính. Thịt đỏ được chế biến sẵn càng nguy hiểm.

Nếu thịt đỏ chế biến với dầu ăn, tạo ra các phản ứng sinh ra Acrylamide, một hoá chất có thể gây ung thư.




4. Ăn uống đa dạng

Ăn uống thiếu đa dạng là một sai lầm. Nên ăn nhiều loại thực phẩm khác nhau để có nhiều chất kháng ung thư khác nhau trong đó ăn nhiều rau, trái cây, củ, hạt đậu, gạo lứt, mè, ngũ cốc... và ăn thức ăn từ nhiều nền văn hoá khác như Trung Đông, Địa Trung Hải, Thái Lan, Ấn Độ... để tế bào ung thư ít có khả năng phát triển.




5. Giảm chiên xào, áp chảo

Thức ăn chế biến nhiệt độ cao với dầu tăng rủi ro ung thư (nghiên cứu từ Nhật Bản và Hàn Quốc về ung thư dạ dày và tiêu hoá).

Nhật Bản, Hàn Quốc là 2 nước có tỉ lệ ung thư dạ dày rất cao do ăn nhiều thịt chiên, xào.




6. Ăn cho ngon, không ăn cho no

Ăn vừa đủ sẽ giúp hệ tiêu hoá, dạ dày khoẻ mạnh.

Ngoài ra BS Tran lưu ý cần phải chăm sóc bữa ăn tinh thần như nghe nhạc, đi chùa, xem phim... thậm chí đi ngắm cảnh để nghe tiếng nước chảy, chim hót. Người Việt ít để ý đến việc này.

Hiện nay có một số bệnh nhân ung thư dùng thêm thực phẩm chức năng, tuy nhiên BS Tran lưu ý, người bệnh cần tham khảo kĩ ý kiến của bác sĩ do thực phẩm chức năng cũng có một số tác dụng phụ, như fucoidan thường gây xuất huyết.




Và cuối cùng, để ngừa và điều trị ung thư hiệu quả, mọi bác sĩ đều nhấn mạnh đến việc tầm soát, dò tìm ung thư trước khi có triệu chứng như người trên 50 tuổi khuyên nội soi đại tràng, nữ trên 40 tuổi chụp nhũ ảnh hàng năm.

Hiện nay cũng bắt đầu có công nghệ phân tích gene để phát hiện những tế bào có nguy cơ phát triển thành tế bào ác tính để có thể can thiệp sớm.





Thúy Hạnh

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[florida80]

Early-life challenges affect how children focus, face the day


University of Washington


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Adversity early in life tends to affect a child's executive function skills -- their ability to focus, for example, or organize tasks.

Experiences such as poverty, residential instability, or parental divorce or substance abuse, also can lead to changes in a child's brain chemistry, muting the effects of stress hormones. These hormones rise to help us face challenges, stress or to simply "get up and go."

Together, these impacts to executive function and stress hormones create a snowball effect, adding to social and emotional challenges that can continue through childhood. A new University of Washington study examines how adversity can change the ways children develop.

"This study shows how adversity is affecting multiple systems inside a child," said the study's lead author, Liliana Lengua, a UW professor of psychology and director of the Center for Child and Family Well-Being. "The disruption of multiple systems of self-control, both intentional planning efforts and automatic stress-hormone responses, sets off a cascade of neurobiological effects that starts early and continues through childhood."

The study, published May 10 in Development and Psychopathology, evaluated 306 children at intervals over more than two years, starting when participants were around 3 years old, up to age 5 ½. Children were from a range of racial, ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds, with 57% considered lower income or near poverty.

Income was a key marker for adversity. In addition, the children's mothers were surveyed about other risk factors that have been linked to poor health and behavior outcomes in children, including family transitions, residential instability, and negative life events such as abuse or the incarceration of a parent.

Against these data, Lengua's team tested children's executive function skills with a series of activities, and, through saliva samples, a stress-response hormone called diurnal cortisol.

The hormone that "helps us rise to a challenge," Lengua said, cortisol tends to follow a daily, or diurnal, pattern: It increases early in the morning, helping us to wake up. It is highest in the morning -- think of it as the energy to face the day -- and then starts to fall throughout the day. But the pattern is different among children and adults who face constant stress, Lengua said.

"What we see in individuals experiencing chronic adversity is that their morning levels are quite low and flat through the day, every day. When someone is faced with high levels of stress all the time, the cortisol response becomes immune, and the system stops responding. That means they're not having the cortisol levels they need to be alert and awake and emotionally ready to meet the challenges of the day," she said.

To assess executive function, researchers chose preschool-friendly activities that measured each child's ability to follow directions, pay attention and take actions contrary to impulse. For instance, in a game called "Head-Toes-Knees-Shoulders," children are told to do the opposite of what a researcher tells them to do -- if the researcher says, "touch your head," the child is supposed to touch their toes. In another activity, children interact with two puppets -- a monkey and a dragon -- but are supposed to follow only the instructions given by the monkey.

When children are better at following instructions in these and similar activities, they tend to have better social skills and manage their emotions when stressed. Children who did well on these tasks also tended to have more typical patterns of diurnal cortisol.

But children who were in families that had lower income and higher adversity tended to have both lower executive function and an atypical diurnal cortisol pattern. Each of those contributed to more behavior problems and lower social-emotional competence in children when they were about to start kindergarten.

The study shows that not only do low income and adversity affect children's adjustment, but they also impact these self-regulation systems that then add to children's adjustment problems. "Taken all together, it's like a snowball effect, with adverse effects adding together," Lengua said.

While past research has pointed to the effects of adversity on executive function, and to the specific relationship between cortisol and executive function, this new study shows the additive effects over time, Lengua said.

"Executive function is an indicator that shows the functioning of cognitive regulation. Cortisol is the neuroendocrine response, an automatic response, and the two consistently emerge as being related to each other and impacting behavior in children," she said.

The research could be used to inform parenting programs, early childhood and school-based interventions, Lengua said. Safe, stable environments and communities, and positive, nurturing parenting practices support child development, while a focus on relationships and healthy behaviors in preschool settings can support children of all backgrounds -- those with high as well as low adversity.

###

[florida80]

-Jun-2019

Early-life challenges affect how children focus, face the day


University of Washington


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Adversity early in life tends to affect a child's executive function skills -- their ability to focus, for example, or organize tasks.

Experiences such as poverty, residential instability, or parental divorce or substance abuse, also can lead to changes in a child's brain chemistry, muting the effects of stress hormones. These hormones rise to help us face challenges, stress or to simply "get up and go."

Together, these impacts to executive function and stress hormones create a snowball effect, adding to social and emotional challenges that can continue through childhood. A new University of Washington study examines how adversity can change the ways children develop.

"This study shows how adversity is affecting multiple systems inside a child," said the study's lead author, Liliana Lengua, a UW professor of psychology and director of the Center for Child and Family Well-Being. "The disruption of multiple systems of self-control, both intentional planning efforts and automatic stress-hormone responses, sets off a cascade of neurobiological effects that starts early and continues through childhood."

The study, published May 10 in Development and Psychopathology, evaluated 306 children at intervals over more than two years, starting when participants were around 3 years old, up to age 5 ½. Children were from a range of racial, ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds, with 57% considered lower income or near poverty.

Income was a key marker for adversity. In addition, the children's mothers were surveyed about other risk factors that have been linked to poor health and behavior outcomes in children, including family transitions, residential instability, and negative life events such as abuse or the incarceration of a parent.

Against these data, Lengua's team tested children's executive function skills with a series of activities, and, through saliva samples, a stress-response hormone called diurnal cortisol.

The hormone that "helps us rise to a challenge," Lengua said, cortisol tends to follow a daily, or diurnal, pattern: It increases early in the morning, helping us to wake up. It is highest in the morning -- think of it as the energy to face the day -- and then starts to fall throughout the day. But the pattern is different among children and adults who face constant stress, Lengua said.

"What we see in individuals experiencing chronic adversity is that their morning levels are quite low and flat through the day, every day. When someone is faced with high levels of stress all the time, the cortisol response becomes immune, and the system stops responding. That means they're not having the cortisol levels they need to be alert and awake and emotionally ready to meet the challenges of the day," she said.

To assess executive function, researchers chose preschool-friendly activities that measured each child's ability to follow directions, pay attention and take actions contrary to impulse. For instance, in a game called "Head-Toes-Knees-Shoulders," children are told to do the opposite of what a researcher tells them to do -- if the researcher says, "touch your head," the child is supposed to touch their toes. In another activity, children interact with two puppets -- a monkey and a dragon -- but are supposed to follow only the instructions given by the monkey.

When children are better at following instructions in these and similar activities, they tend to have better social skills and manage their emotions when stressed. Children who did well on these tasks also tended to have more typical patterns of diurnal cortisol.

But children who were in families that had lower income and higher adversity tended to have both lower executive function and an atypical diurnal cortisol pattern. Each of those contributed to more behavior problems and lower social-emotional competence in children when they were about to start kindergarten.

The study shows that not only do low income and adversity affect children's adjustment, but they also impact these self-regulation systems that then add to children's adjustment problems. "Taken all together, it's like a snowball effect, with adverse effects adding together," Lengua said.

While past research has pointed to the effects of adversity on executive function, and to the specific relationship between cortisol and executive function, this new study shows the additive effects over time, Lengua said.

"Executive function is an indicator that shows the functioning of cognitive regulation. Cortisol is the neuroendocrine response, an automatic response, and the two consistently emerge as being related to each other and impacting behavior in children," she said.

The research could be used to inform parenting programs, early childhood and school-based interventions, Lengua said. Safe, stable environments and communities, and positive, nurturing parenting practices support child development, while a focus on relationships and healthy behaviors in preschool settings can support children of all backgrounds -- those with high as well as low adversity.

[florida80]

4-Jun-2019

Female cannabis users underrepresented in health research, study reveals


University of York


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Research at the University of York has shown that women are underrepresented in research into links between cannabis and psychosis, which could limit understanding of the impact of the drug.

In a review of scientific literature over a number of years, Ian Hamilton from the University of York's Department of Health Sciences, found that the majority of research reflects the experience of male cannabis users, with very limited information on how women react to the drug.

They also found that there was little research on cannabis psychosis in countries where cannabis use is high.

Research tends to be focused in America, Europe and Australia, missing the impact of the drug in Africa, Asian and the Middle East, where very little is known about the number of people that develop cannabis psychosis.

Ian Hamilton said: "Across the world governments are opening up access to cannabis for health or recreation. This means that it is important that people have access to information about the risks as well as benefits of using cannabis.

"Cannabis psychosis is one risk which can have a devastating effect on an individual and their family. Building on previous research from the University of York, we reviewed the evidence linking cannabis to psychosis, and identified two significant problems.

"One such problem relates to gender bias. The research we looked at predominantly includes men and not women; this could link to a wider problem with the lack of female scientists in addiction research also.

"The other issue relates to geographical spread of addiction research; we are missing a large population size in not focusing study in areas outside of America, Europe and Australia.

"We could gain much more knowledge on the risk of cannabis psychosis by including other countries and cultures."

The study suggests that more attention needs to be on who is at risk of cannabis psychosis as well as the health implications of taking the drug. This research has to include more women and countries across Asia, Africa and the Middle East, the researchers argue.

Ian Hamilton added: "We need to accept that cannabis psychosis is about more than genetics or biology but is effected by social factors such as where and how young people grow up and the problems they experience as they develop."

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[florida80]

5-Jun-2019

Walking speed points to future clinical outcomes for older patients with blood cancers

Slower pace linked to lower survival and increased likelihood of hospitalization; measuring gait speed offers useful tool to better tailor care

Dana-Farber Cancer Institute


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Researchers at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and the VA Boston Healthcare System have uncovered a new vital sign for gauging survival and likelihood of having an unplanned hospitalization in older patients with blood cancers: the speed at which they can walk.

In a study published today in the journal Blood, the researchers report that for every 0.1 meter per second decrease in how fast patients walk four meters (about 13 feet), the risk of dying, unexpectedly going to the hospital, or using the emergency room increased by 22 percent, 33 percent, and 34 percent, respectively. The association was strongest in patients with non-Hodgkin lymphoma.

"The slower someone walks, the higher their risk of problems," said the study's senior author, Jane A. Driver, MD, MPH, co-director of the Older Adult Hematologic Malignancy (OHM) Program at Dana-Farber and associate director of the Geriatric Research Education and Clinical Center at VA Boston Healthcare System.

Measuring gait speed not only helps identify individuals who are frail and may have worse long-term outcomes, but it also can indicate those who are in better-than-expected shape based on their age. Researchers say the study results support efforts to integrate gait speed as a routine part of medical assessments for older patients with blood cancer, and that it should be measured over time to guide treatment plans.

"There is an unmet need for brief screening tests for frailty that can easily fit into clinic workflow and predict important clinical outcomes. This test can be done in less than a minute and takes no longer than measuring blood pressure or other vital signs," said Driver. "Based on our findings, it is as good as other commonly used methods which take considerably more time and resources and may not be practical for many oncology clinics."

The new study enrolled 448 adults ages 75 years and older who had hematologic cancers. Participants were 79.7 years old on average and completed several screenings for cognition, frailty, gait, and grip strength. Gait speed was measured using the National Institutes of Health 4-meter gait speed test. Patients were asked to walk at a normal pace for 4 meters and their speed was recorded in meters per second using a stopwatch.

The association between slower walking speed and poorer outcomes persisted even after adjusting for cancer type and aggressiveness, patient age and other demographic factors, as well as traditional measures of frailty and functional status. Gait speed remained an independent predictor of death even after accounting for standard measures of physical health.

Patients whose performance status - their general well-being and quality of life - was rated as very good or excellent by their physician were stratified into three groups by gait speed - those at risk or frail, pre-frail, or robust. Of the 314 patients in this group, nearly 20 percent had an unplanned hospital stay unrelated to elective or scheduled treatments, and 16.8 percent visited the emergency department.

"Our study reveals that the current standard of care for functional assessment in oncology--performance status--is not sufficient for elders with blood cancers. Gait speed appears to be much better at differentiating those patients at highest risk for poor outcomes," explained Gregory A. Abel, MD, MPH, director of the OHM clinic.

So much a part of everyday life that it's easily taken for granted, walking is a complex activity that involves multiple bodily systems, including the musculoskeletal, cardiovascular, and nervous systems, all of which must function properly together. Gait speed has been widely used as an assessment in rehabilitative and geriatric medicine. Measuring it doesn't require special equipment, is reasonably efficient, and has value even for patients who use a cane or a walker, Driver noted.

[florida80]

5-Jun-2019

New clinical guide helps physicians identify risk, talk with patients about firearm safety and injury


University of California - Davis Health


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New clinical guide helps physicians identify risk, talk with patients about firearm safety and injuries. Clinicians often feel that they have a role in preventing firearm injury. But few talk with patients about the risk of firearms and safe firearm practices during office visits.

Physicians and researchers at the UC Davis Violence Prevention Research Program (VPRP), Brown University, the University of Colorado and Stanford University are looking to change that. They've developed a clinical guide to help providers get more comfortable recognizing a patient's risk of firearm injury or death. It also helps them talk with patients about firearm safety and teaches them how to intervene in emergency situations.

Their guide, published June 4 in the Annals of Internal Medicine's "In the Clinic" series, is based on existing research and on expert opinion.

"Clinicians are uniquely positioned to identify at-risk patients and discuss safe firearm practices, and patients are overwhelmingly open to having these conversations, especially when they happen directly in the context of the patient's health or the health of someone else in the home," said Rocco Pallin, first author and director of VPRP's What You Can Do initiative.

"This article presents background and practical tools to help clinicians recognize risk and start having these conversations when they feel firearms are clinically relevant," she said.

The guide shares findings from existing studies on firearm-related harm and violence prevention. It recommends strategies for screening, counseling and potential interventions when needed. It also provides a toolkit with information for patients and clinicians on firearm injury and firearm safety.

Researchers believe that a better understanding of gun ownership and more evidence on the factors that increase the risk of violence and injury can help physicians increase patient safety. The authors suggest a conversational and collaborative approach to discussions about firearm safety.

Facts on gun violence, gun ownership and risk factors for clinicians:

Homicides: Highest among teens and young adults, especially African Americans. Highest in the south. Highest in urban areas.

Suicides: Highest among middle-aged and older white men. Highest in Montana, Idaho and western states. Highest in rural areas.

U.S. gun owners: Most are male, white, middle-aged or older and residents of non-urban areas.

Reasons Americans own guns: protection from other people (63%), for hunting (40%) and other sporting uses (28%).

Gun safety: Approximately 20% of homes with children have guns stored in the least safe manner.

Mental illness and guns: Contrary to common belief, only 4% to 5% of person-on-person violence is primarily attributable to diagnosed mental illness.

Risk factors: Patients with abusive partners, alcohol and other substance misuse, history of violent behavior, dementia, impaired cognition, poorly controlled mental illness, prior convictions for violent crimes.

Laws: It is legal for physicians to have discussions about gun ownership with their patients. A survey of gun owners found 70% were somewhat comfortable talking about owning guns if their physicians asked.

Garen Wintemute, VPRP's director, emphasizes that "preventing firearm violence is absolutely 'in our lane' for physicians and other health professionals. We hope this new guide and other materials at the What You Can Do website will give them the knowledge and tools they need to help protect the health and safety of their patients and communities."

###

[florida80]

Jun-2019

New clinical guide helps physicians identify risk, talk with patients about firearm safety and injury


University of California - Davis Health


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New clinical guide helps physicians identify risk, talk with patients about firearm safety and injuries. Clinicians often feel that they have a role in preventing firearm injury. But few talk with patients about the risk of firearms and safe firearm practices during office visits.

Physicians and researchers at the UC Davis Violence Prevention Research Program (VPRP), Brown University, the University of Colorado and Stanford University are looking to change that. They've developed a clinical guide to help providers get more comfortable recognizing a patient's risk of firearm injury or death. It also helps them talk with patients about firearm safety and teaches them how to intervene in emergency situations.

Their guide, published June 4 in the Annals of Internal Medicine's "In the Clinic" series, is based on existing research and on expert opinion.

"Clinicians are uniquely positioned to identify at-risk patients and discuss safe firearm practices, and patients are overwhelmingly open to having these conversations, especially when they happen directly in the context of the patient's health or the health of someone else in the home," said Rocco Pallin, first author and director of VPRP's What You Can Do initiative.

"This article presents background and practical tools to help clinicians recognize risk and start having these conversations when they feel firearms are clinically relevant," she said.

The guide shares findings from existing studies on firearm-related harm and violence prevention. It recommends strategies for screening, counseling and potential interventions when needed. It also provides a toolkit with information for patients and clinicians on firearm injury and firearm safety.

Researchers believe that a better understanding of gun ownership and more evidence on the factors that increase the risk of violence and injury can help physicians increase patient safety. The authors suggest a conversational and collaborative approach to discussions about firearm safety.

Facts on gun violence, gun ownership and risk factors for clinicians:

Homicides: Highest among teens and young adults, especially African Americans. Highest in the south. Highest in urban areas.

Suicides: Highest among middle-aged and older white men. Highest in Montana, Idaho and western states. Highest in rural areas.

U.S. gun owners: Most are male, white, middle-aged or older and residents of non-urban areas.

Reasons Americans own guns: protection from other people (63%), for hunting (40%) and other sporting uses (28%).

Gun safety: Approximately 20% of homes with children have guns stored in the least safe manner.

Mental illness and guns: Contrary to common belief, only 4% to 5% of person-on-person violence is primarily attributable to diagnosed mental illness.

Risk factors: Patients with abusive partners, alcohol and other substance misuse, history of violent behavior, dementia, impaired cognition, poorly controlled mental illness, prior convictions for violent crimes.

Laws: It is legal for physicians to have discussions about gun ownership with their patients. A survey of gun owners found 70% were somewhat comfortable talking about owning guns if their physicians asked.

Garen Wintemute, VPRP's director, emphasizes that "preventing firearm violence is absolutely 'in our lane' for physicians and other health professionals. We hope this new guide and other materials at the What You Can Do website will give them the knowledge and tools they need to help protect the health and safety of their patients and communities."

[florida80]

5-Jun-2019

Research reveals a natural pregnancy hormone could relax a locked-up joint

Researchers at Boston University and Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center discover surprising step toward melting away 'frozen shoulder'

Boston University


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More than nine million Americans know the scary feeling: sudden, severe shoulder pain and the sensation that their arm feels stuck, unable to move. "Frozen shoulder" is a common condition that happens when the connective tissues around the shoulder joint become thickened and stiff, often a result of trauma, extended use, immobilization, surgical procedures, or inflammation.

It affects more women than men, and typically strikes people between the ages of 40 and 60. Steroid shots or pain medications can sometimes manage symptoms of frozen shoulder, but there's no easy cure. As a last resort, invasive surgery can sometimes restore range of motion and relieve pain.

Researchers from Boston University and Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center (BIDMC) found that giving relaxin in the form of several injections directly to the shoulder joint, could restore full range of motion. The results of their study were published in the Proceedings of the National Academies of Sciences.

When Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center orthopedic surgeon Edward Rodriguez had a startling realization--some of his patients experienced lasting relief from their frozen shoulders after becoming pregnant--he hoped it could lead to a better noninvasive therapy and turned for help to Boston University scientist Mark Grinstaff, a College of Engineering Distinguished Professor of Translational Research, and his research group. The Grinstaff Group, a lab bridging BU's College of Engineering and College of Arts & Sciences, is doing research at the intersection of biomedical engineering, chemistry, and materials science engineering.

Guided by Rodriguez's hunch that biochemical changes related to pregnancy could be responsible for melting away a frozen shoulder, the team of researchers, including Boston University graduate student Will Blessing from Grinstaff's team, dove headfirst into reading everything known about pregnancy hormones.

The team's interest was piqued by a natural hormone called "relaxin," which pretty much does what its name indicates. It helps tissues stretch, an important capability for a woman's body to adjust to pregnancy and prepare for childbirth. Relaxin is present in all men and women at a low baseline level, but when a woman becomes pregnant, her body begins producing relaxin to a much higher degree.

"In everyone, relaxin helps maintain the structure of tissue so that it can function properly and not be absolutely rigid," says Blessing, who is earning a PhD in chemistry at BU. "Pregnancy kicks it into overdrive because it helps prime the uterus for childbirth and loosens up and dilates blood vessels to account for carrying blood for an extra person, without increasing the burden on the mother's heart."

Blessing, Grinstaff, and research collaborators at BIDMC, led by Ara Nazarian, tested the effects of administering relaxin to rats with stiff shoulder joints.

"It's an especially cool finding because the answer was in front of our eyes the whole time--relaxin is found in all of us naturally," Blessing says.

He credits Rodriguez for noticing a link between pregnancy and improved frozen shoulder over the course of routine checkups with his patients. Instead of just chalking it up to being a fluke, Blessing says, Rodriguez realized it could be a clinically significant observation.

For the millions of people currently coping with frozen shoulder, or any other frozen joint, the discovery brings hope that a cure is within sight. Known medically as arthrofibrosis, frozen joints affect more than five percent of the general population. For a good sense of just how common the condition is, just look to people who have undergone ACL reconstruction surgery. A third of them will go on to develop arthrofibrosis in their affected knee.

Depending on joint location and how stiff it becomes, people with a frozen joint can experience reduced quality of life and be limited in performing even the most basic activities of daily living and self-care. It can also impact their ability to work and to drive a car. If a patient doesn't respond to currently available steroid and pain management treatments, their disability can be considered permanent.

"While more research is needed, repurposing this pregnancy hormone as a treatment for arthrofibrosis could provide an unprecedented opportunity," said Nazarian, one of the study's co-corresponding authors, in a BIDMC press release.

Although their research is preliminary, Blessing is hopeful they can advance their findings so that it can help people with frozen joints go about their everyday routines more easily, no longer restricted by an elbow or shoulder that won't move as they need it to. "Someday, this might actually reverse the disease," he says.

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[florida80]

5-Jun-2019

Molecular bait can help hydrogels heal wounds

Rice University bioengineers mix injectable scaffolds at room temperature to grow new tissue

Rice University


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IMAGE


IMAGE: Rice University graduate student Jason Guo fills a mold with bioactive hydrogel. Injectable hydrogels can be enhanced with biomolecules and mixed at room temperature to help heal a variety of... view more 

Credit: Jeff Fitlow/Rice University

Like fishermen, Rice University bioengineers are angling for their daily catch. But their bait, biomolecules in a hydrogel scaffold, lures microscopic stem cells instead of fish.

These, they say, will seed the growth of new tissue to heal wounds.

The team led by Brown School of Engineering bioengineer Antonios Mikos and graduate student Jason Guo have developed modular, injectable hydrogels enhanced by bioactive molecules anchored in the chemical crosslinkers that give the gels structure.

Hydrogels for healing have until now been biologically inert and require growth factors and other biocompatible molecules to be added to the mix. The new process makes these essential molecules part of the hydrogel itself, specifically the crosslinkers that allow the material to keep its structure when swollen with water.

Their work, reported in Science Advances, is intended to help repair bone, cartilage and other tissues able to regenerate themselves.

Best of all, the Rice lab's customized, active hydrogels can be mixed at room temperature for immediate application, Mikos said.

"This is important not only for the ease of preparation and synthesis, but also because these molecules may lose their biological activity when they're heated," he said. "This is the biggest problem with the development of biomaterials that rely on high temperatures or the use of organic solvents."

Experiments with cartilage and bone biomolecules showed how crosslinkers made of a soluble polymer can bond small peptides or large molecules, like tissue-specific extracellular matrix components, simply by mixing them together in water with a catalyst. As the injected gel swells to fill the space left by a tissue defect, the embedded molecules can interact with the body's mesenchymal stem cells, drawing them in to seed new growth. As native tissue populates the area, the hydrogel can degrade and eventually disappear.

"With our previous hydrogels, we typically needed to have a secondary system to deliver the biomolecules to effectively produce tissue repair," Guo said. "In this case, our big advantage is that we directly incorporate those biomolecules for the specific tissue right into the crosslinker itself. Then once we inject the hydrogel, the biomolecules are right where they need to be."

To make the reaction work, the researchers depended on a variant of click chemistry, which facilitates the assembly of molecular modules. Click chemistry catalysts don't usually work in water. But with the helpful guidance of Rice chemist and co-author Paul Engel, they settled on a biocompatible and soluble ruthenium-based catalyst.

"There's one specific ruthenium-based catalyst we can use," Guo said. "Others are often cytotoxic, or they're inactive under aqueous conditions, or they might not work with the specific kind of alkyne on the polymer.

"This particular catalyst works under all those conditions - namely, conditions that are very mild, aqueous and favorable to biomolecules," he said. "But it had not been used for biomolecules yet."

[florida80]

Study: New drug regimens improve outcomes for kidney transplant patients

UC researchers present BEST trial findings at American Transplant Congress

University of Cincinnati


  CINCINNATI (June 5, 2019) -- Preliminary results from a $5.2 million clinical trial led by University of Cincinnati researchers show that the immunosuppressive drug belatacept can help safely and effectively treat kidney transplant patients without the negative long-term side effects of traditional immunosuppressive regimens, the study's leaders announced this week.

The UC-led Belatacept Early Steroid Withdrawal Trial (BEST) represents a significant step forward in the science of how not only to save lives through kidney transplantation, but also how to prolong the lives and improve the quality of life for those patients for decades after surgery.

"In the BEST trial, we tried to achieve something that hadn't been done in transplantation: to eliminate the use of corticosteroids very early after surgery and at the same time avoid the toxicities associated with the cornerstone immunosuppressive medications that had been used for four decades," said principal investigator E. Steve Woodle, MD, William A. Altemeier Professor in Research Surgery at the UC College of Medicine and director of Solid Organ Transplantation for UC Health.

"We wanted to reduce the side effects and toxicities of these medications and make it easier for patients to tolerate their anti-rejection drugs, while achieving rejection rates that are reasonable," Woodle said. "This work solved a vexing 40-year-old problem and represents a major step forward in the field of transplantation."

The study's two-year findings were presented by BEST investigators in several scientific sessions of the annual American Transplant Congress, held June 1-5 in Boston.

Additional findings related to the study were presented by study authors, including Rita Alloway, PharmD, research professor of nephrology at the UC College of Medicine and director of Transplant Clinical Research at UC Health. The two belatacept-based regimens evaluated in the study did not employ long-term use of prednisone (a corticosteroid) or tacrolimus (a calcineurin inhibitor).

"The primary problem that has prevented elimination of corticosteroids and calcineurin inhibitors to date has been excessive rejection rates," Alloway said. "The BEST Trial demonstrates that rejection risk with the new belatacept-based regimens was increased somewhat, and the reduced side effects and long-term cardiovascular risk reduction are major potential advantages of these regimens for the future."

For the 16,000 people who receive a kidney transplant in the U.S. each year, the standard of care involves a post-surgery regimen that includes corticosteroid and calcineurin inhibitor (CNI) immunosuppressants--drugs that for decades have helped organ transplant patients live, but can also come with long-term effects such as kidney toxicity or cardiovascular damage.

In 2011, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved the use of belatacept to prevent rejection in kidney transplant patients. Belatacept is a modified version of the drug abatacept, which is used to treat rheumatoid arthritis.

The BEST study is the first large, multicenter trial to remove both corticosteroids and CNIs from a patient's drug regimen after kidney transplantation. Both drugs place patients at an increased risk of cardiovascular disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes. CNIs have also shown toxicity to transplanted kidneys.

UC Medical Center was the coordinating center for the trial, and many of the patients were treated there.

Beginning in September 2012, the BEST Trial enrolled more than 300 adult kidney transplant patients at eight transplant centers across the U.S. In the randomized trial, the patients received one of two belatacept-based immunosuppressive regimens, or the typical corticosteroid-based immunosuppressive regimen as a control.

After two years, the data shows that patients in the belatacept-based groups showed slightly higher rates of rejection, but lower rates of GI toxicity, neurotoxicity, electrolyte imbalance and other adverse effects associated with steroid-based regimens.

"This CNI- and steroid-free [immunosuppressive] protocol is a promising step forward in minimizing toxicities and improving renal allograft function," the study authors wrote. "Longer-term observations will need to be continued."

One unique feature of the BEST Trial was the involvement of patient-reported outcomes collected via patient surveys--uncommon in a clinical trial but critical to the success of the study, Alloway said. Those findings were shared for the first time at the American Transplant Congress meeting.

"The patients tell you how much better they feel and function with this new drug combination than they do with the standard combination," Alloway said. "And so we're able to show what specific side effects are reported in less than 5%, less than 10%, less than 15% of patients--and how that's different than what you see in the standard of care."

[florida80]

5-Jun-2019

Mosquito control program reduces dengue, costs in Sri Lanka

Intervention focused on removing mosquito breeding sites found to be both effective and cost-saving

New York University


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A public health, police, and military partnership to reduce the mosquito population in Sri Lanka resulted in a more than 50-percent reduction in dengue, as well as cost savings, finds a study from an international team of researchers led by NYU College of Global Public Health. The findings are published in The Lancet Planetary Health.

Dengue is a viral illness transmitted by mosquitoes and can cause fever, pain, rash, and other flu-like symptoms. Severe cases require hospitalization, placing an economic burden on areas where dengue is found. While a new dengue vaccine raised hope about reducing the impact of the disease, the vaccine's risks have limited its use, maintaining the focus on controlling mosquito populations to halt the spread of the disease.

Dengue is particularly prevalent in countries in south Asia and has become a major public health problem in Sri Lanka, which has seen a dramatic increase in the disease in recent years. In response, in 2014, Sri Lanka's Ministry of Health started a proactive mosquito control program in partnership with its military and police forces.

The program aimed to reduce mosquitos in high-risk communities by conducting door-to-door inspections on a large scale. Teams made up of a combination of public health authorities, police, and military personnel inspected at least 50 locations daily in order to identify and remove mosquito breeding sites, such as containers of stagnant water around homes. The program augmented the routine mosquito control interventions with larvicides and insecticides.

This study evaluated the impact of the mosquito control intervention from June 2014 to December 2016 in an urban region in western Sri Lanka highly affected by dengue. The researchers analyzed the rates of dengue in symptomatic patients in the presence and absence of the intervention, adjusting for climate variables, including rainfall and temperature, to measure the program's impact. The researchers also assessed the cost and cost-effectiveness of the program.

"Evaluating the effectiveness and cost-effectiveness of population-level interventions is essential for guiding public health planning and empowering policy makers to deploy the most effective and efficient interventions, particularly in resource-limited settings," said Yesim Tozan, assistant professor of global health at NYU College of Global Public Health and the study's senior author.

The mosquito control program had a significant effect on larval mosquito populations in the region as well as on dengue, with researchers measuring a 57-percent reduction in dengue incidence. They estimate that 2,192 cases of dengue were averted during the 31-month intervention.

The program cost $271,615, the majority (89 percent) of which went to personnel, given the human resource-intensive nature of the intervention involving door-to-door inspections and removal of mosquito breeding places. To analyze its cost-effectiveness, the researchers calculated costs using three scenarios of the proportion of dengue cases treated in hospitals: moderate hospitalization (50 percent), low hospitalization (25 percent), and high hospitalization (75 percent).

The researchers found that the cost savings from treating fewer dengue cases in medical settings thanks to the intervention were $291,990 in the moderate hospitalization scenario, offsetting the mosquito control program costs and yielding a savings of $20,247. The program was estimated to avert 176 disability-adjusted life-years over the study period, or $98 in savings per disability-adjusted life-year. The scenario with high hospitalization levels was also cost saving, while the scenario with low hospitalization was cost-effective based on certain calculations but not others.

"Our study suggests that communities affected by dengue can benefit from investments in mosquito control if interventions are implemented rigorously and coordinated across sectors. By doing so, it is possible to reduce the disease and economic burden of dengue," said Prasad Liyanage of the Sri Lanka Ministry of Health and Umeå University in Sweden and the study's lead author.

"Even if a safe dengue vaccine becomes available in the future, mosquito control is likely to remain a key complementary strategy to curtail the continued spread and intensification of dengue," said Tozan.

[florida80]

5-Jun-2019

Safe consumption spaces would be welcomed by high-risk opioid users

Three-city study finds strong support for harm-reduction strategy

Johns Hopkins University Bloomberg School of Public Health


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A large majority of people who use heroin and fentanyl would be willing to use safe consumption spaces where they could obtain sterile syringes and have medical support in case of overdose, suggests a study led by researchers at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health.

In the study, published June 5 in the Journal of Urban Health, the researchers surveyed 326 users of heroin, fentanyl and illicit opioid pills in Baltimore, Boston and Providence, cities hard-hit by America's ongoing opioid overdose epidemic. About 77 percent of participants reported a willingness to use safe consumption spaces--sanctioned locations which have been set up and evaluated in other countries such as Canada and Australia but not yet in the U.S. Willingness to use safe consumption spaces was even higher, at 84 percent, among people who relied on public spaces such as streets, parks and abandoned buildings to use drugs.

The results indicated that 84 percent of the Boston participants, 78 percent of the Baltimore participants and 68 percent of the Providence participants were willing to use a safe consumption space--the overall rate coming in at 77 percent.

"On the whole, we found a strong willingness to use safe consumption spaces. This is important because often the voices of people who use drugs are not always included in policy debates or in the implementation of public health interventions," says study lead author Ju Nyeong Park, PhD, MHS, an assistant scientist in the Department of Health, Behavior and Society at the Bloomberg School.

Safe consumption spaces, also called safe injection facilities and overdose prevention sites, represent a "harm-reduction" approach to the public health and social problems stemming from drug addiction.

They have been in use abroad since the mid-1980s and now number more than 100 facilities in 12 countries. Studies indicate that the public health benefits are many, as they greatly reduce overdose deaths, greatly reduce transmission of HIV and Hepatitis B and C viruses via needle-sharing, help keep users out of parks and other public places and offer good opportunities for steering users to treatment.

There are currently no legal safe consumption spaces in the U.S., however, due to a federal law--known as the "crack house statute"--that creates a serious criminal liability for anyone knowingly connected with a property purposed for illegal drug use. Concerns about safe consumption spaces encouraging illegal drug use and potentially blighting the neighborhoods where they are situated also have led to local opposition in some cases. But the severity of the current opioid-use epidemic in the U.S. --opioids were involved in most of the 70,000-plus drug overdose deaths in 2017--is such that safe consumption spaces are now discussed as viable options among policymakers in some state and local governments. Public health researchers also have been weighing in with studies.

"The study documents that people who use drugs are motivated to be safe and take precautions to reduce their exposure to harm," says Susan Sherman, PhD, professor in the Bloomberg School's Department of Health, Behavior and Society and the study's senior investigator. "We can use this evidence to holistically address the opioid epidemic."

Park, Sherman and their colleagues, working through street recruitment and local syringe service programs, contacted and obtained survey data from a diverse sample of 326 people in Baltimore, Boston and Providence who said they had used opioids non-medically in the previous 30 days. Most reported using injected drugs--mostly heroin. Almost 70 percent were homeless, and 60 percent reported habitually using drugs in public or semi-public places. More than a third of participants reported having experienced an overdose in the past six months. About 73 percent reported recent use of a drug they suspected had contained fentanyl, a synthetic opioid that is much more potent--and thus has higher overdose potential--than heroin.

The participants most likely to say they were willing to use a safe consumption space were those who preferred drugs containing fentanyl and those who primarily used drugs in public spaces. Among those who primarily used drugs publicly, 84 percent said they were willing to use a safe consumption space.

When participants were asked about things that could make it harder for them to use a safe consumption space, the factors they cited most frequently were fear of arrest (38 percent) and privacy concerns (36 percent).

All in all, participants' broad willingness to use safe consumption spaces suggests that such facilities, if available, would provide a viable alternative to using drugs on the streets. "It's encouraging because even though these are people engaging in very high-risk behaviors in very different contexts within these three cities, they were willing to use this harm-reduction intervention," Park says.

[florida80]

5-Jun-2019

Study suggests new computer analytics may solve the hospital readmission puzzle

Machine learning score predicts hospital returns better than standard methods

University of Maryland Medical Center


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BALTIMORE, Md, June 5, 2019 -A University of Maryland School of Medicine study suggests that a novel machine learning model developed at the University of Maryland Medical System (UMMS), called the Baltimore score (B score), may help hospitals better predict which discharged patients are likely to be readmitted.

The research was led by Daniel Morgan, MD, MS, Associate Professor of Epidemiology and Public Health at the University of Maryland School of Medicine (UMSOM). Dr. Morgan analyzed data on more than 14,000 patients from three UMMS hospitals using this special predictive score to determine the likelihood these patients would be readmitted.

The research, published in the journal JAMA Network Open, could help set the stage toward improving patient care and avoiding returns to the hospital.

"A significant proportion of readmissions may be preventable with better planning and follow-up for how the patient would transition back into the community," said Dr. Morgan.

Readmissions occur for almost 20 percent of patients hospitalized in the United States and are associated with patient harm and expenses. Furthermore, rates of unplanned readmission within 30 days after discharge are used to benchmark a hospital's performance and quality of patient care. Nevertheless, studies have shown that clinicians are poorly equipped to identify patients who will be readmitted, and many readmissions are thought to be preventable.

"If hospitals can better target time and money in planning for discharge to home, then patients may not have to come back to the hospital, with the harm sometimes associated with hospitals, including risks for infection, falls, delirium and other adverse events," said Dr. Morgan.

Using Health Data and An Algorithm

Machine learning is widely used to make predictions about the future, based on a set of computer algorithms that analyze massive amounts of data. The algorithms form what is known as a neural network, modeled loosely after the human brain, to recognize and learn from patterns. In the realm of hospital patient care, the increased adoption of electronic health records makes it possible to apply machine learning techniques to health care data.

Existing readmission risk-assessment tools, including the LACE index, the HOSPITAL score and the Maxim/RightCare score, look at a limited set of variables for each patient, such as length of stay in a hospital, type and severity of admission, types and amounts of medications, other chronic conditions a patient may have, and previous hospital admissions.

One of the study's co-authors, William Bame, a Senior Data Scientist at UMMS, designed a neural network to mine thousands of health data variables in real time. The system then calculated a score to predict a patient's chance of returning after hospital discharge.

This experimental B score algorithm was individualized for each of three University of Maryland Medical System hospitals in different settings, after initially evaluating more than 8,000 possible data variables from September 1, 2014 through August 31, 2016. The final machine learning model drew from 382 variables, including demographics; lab test results; whether the patient required breathing assistance; body mass index; affiliation with a specific church; marital status; employment; medication usage and substance abuse.

Morgan and colleagues compared the B score readmission risk ranking to actual readmissions at the three hospitals, and to the predictions scored by the other programs. Across the three hospitals, despite the different settings, the B score overall was better able to identify patients at risk of readmission than other scores. It was most accurate among patients at highest risk. Patients scoring in the top 10 percent of B score risk at discharge had a 37.5 percent chance of 30-day unplanned readmission. Likewise, a patient in the top five percent B score at discharge had a 43.1 percent change of readmission.

"The widespread use of electronic health records has enhanced information flow from all clinicians involved in a patient's treatment," said UMSOM Dean E. Albert Reece, MD, PhD, MBA, University Executive Vice President for Medical Affairs and the John Z. and Akiko K. Bowers Distinguished Professor. "This study underscores how patient data may also help solve the readmission puzzle and, ultimately, improve the quality of patient care."

[florida80]

5-Jun-2019

Freshwater stingray venom varies according to sex and age

A study by the FAPESP-funded Research, Innovation and Dissemination Center shows that toxins produced by young female stingrays cause more pain, whereas toxins produced by adult stingrays cause tissue necrosis

Fundação de Amparo à Pesquisa do Estado de São Paulo


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IMAGE


IMAGE: Toxins produced by young female stingrays cause more pain, whereas toxins produced by adult stingrays cause tissue necrosis. view more 

Credit: Carla Lima

There is no antidote or specific treatment for freshwater stingray venom, although accidents involving these animals are frequent on rivers in the Amazon and other regions.

A groundbreaking study conducted at the Butantan Institute in São Paulo, Brazil, analyzed freshwater stingray toxins to elucidate their mechanism of action and highlighted methods of treatment. One of the key findings was that the composition and effects of the venom produced by members of the family Potamotrygonidae vary even among individuals of the same species.

A sting by a young ray is extremely painful and is used help to frighten off predators, whereas the toxins injected by adult rays cause necrosis and are therefore effective weapons in the hunt for small fish, shrimp and other crustaceans.

"Environmental pressure leads to a modification in the venom's composition and its toxicological effect. When the environment changes, the type of food also changes, and all this causes evolutionary pressure that can lead to a change in toxin composition," said Carla Lima, Vice Director of Butantan Institute's Special Applied Toxicology Laboratory (LETA).

The study was conducted by Lima and Mônica Lopes-Ferreira, the director of LETA, under the aegis of the Center on Toxins, Immune Response and Cell Signaling (CeTICS). The results were published in the journal Toxicon. Lopes-Ferreira is head of dissemination at CeTICS, a Research, Innovation and Dissemination Center (RIDC) funded by São Paulo Research Foundation - FAPESP and hosted by the Butantan Institute.

"Several studies have been performed with freshwater stingrays to compare the toxicity of venom from their stinger and mucus. However, studies demonstrating the influence of sex and maturation stage on the composition of stingray venom and its toxic effects are still scarce," Lopes-Ferreira said.

"We set out to discover whether the stage of development and gender of Potamotrygon rex, a freshwater stingray found in rivers throughout South America, influences the composition of its venom and its capacity to trigger an acute inflammatory response using mice as a model. Our results suggest that nociception is induced mainly by the toxins produced by young females," Lima said.

Nociception is the reception, conduction, modulation, central processing and perception of sensory information elicited by tissue injury that is transmitted to the central nervous system by nociceptors, which are peripheral sensory neurons that respond to damaging stimuli in skin and tissue. The brain interprets the signals received by nociceptors as pain.

"In contrast, adult ray venom is more effective in producing protein exudation," Lima added.

Exudation is the discharge of organic liquids via cell walls and membranes in response to injury or inflammation.

"Our findings showed that the composition of the venom of P. rex is influenced by the animal's development to maturity. The production of peptides and proteins capable of influencing the leukocyte-endothelium interaction and favoring neutrophil infiltration into damaged tissue is modulated according to the stage of development," Lopes-Ferreira said.

Potamotrygon rex

The researchers collaborated with colleagues at the Federal University of Tocantins - UFT (also in Brazil), who coauthored the article, to collect venom samples from stingrays captured in the Tocantins River.

All the stingrays belonged to the species P. rex, which is endemic to South America and common in the middle and upper Tocantins, although it was only first scientifically described in 2016.

"To verify toxicity, venom from young and adult rays was applied directly to the skin of anesthetized mice and the resulting alterations to tissue were analyzed under the microscope," Lopes-Ferreira said.

According to the researchers, venom from rays up to two years old, especially females, was found to be more potent and capable of causing acute pain due to the presence of neuroactive peptides.

"Schools of young rays spend a great deal of time hiding in the mud in the riverbed, feeding on microcrustaceans and leaving only rarely. Their sting causes a painful wound and probably serves to ward off predators," Lima said.

Two-year-old rays are sexually mature. They leave their siblings and hiding places in the riverbed to live as lone predators in the water column, which is more or less turbid.

"Toxin composition changes at this point," Lima said. "Pain-causing peptides give way to proteins that cause inflammatory wounds and tissue necrosis."

According to the study, sexual maturity is required for this alteration in the venom composition to occur. Rapid changes in the river water and the natural environment may delay an animal's development and the transformation of its toxins.

This can be observed, for example, in the fish that inhabit the rivers affected by the January 2019 dam burst and the mine tailings spill in Brumadinho, in the Brazilian state of Minas Gerais.

"A sudden change in pH or the transformation of crystal-clear water into turbid water can impair the maturation of stingrays and their arsenal of toxins. Massive contamination will also destroy much of their food and force a change in diet," Lopes-Ferreira said.

Venom composition is known to change in snakes depending on the life stage and sex. According to the authors, this is the first time the same phenomenon has been observed in river or marine stingrays.

Accidents becoming more frequent

"The number of accidents involving stingrays in the Amazon Basin is substantial and continuously rising. To date, there are no antidotes for freshwater stingray venom; therefore, it must be treated with medication to control pain and tissue necrosis. For this reason, it is important to study toxin compositions and to discover how toxins vary between young and adult stingrays or between males and females," Lopes-Ferreira said.

One of the reasons for the increasing number of accidents may be the growing demand for rays in the global ornamental fish trade. According to a report produced by Brazil's Environment Ministry as part of its commitments under the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species (CITES), Brazil legally exported 68,600 specimens belonging to six freshwater stingray species between 2003 and 2016. The highest price was fetched by P. leopoldi, the polka-dot river stingray, which accounted for approximately 40% of the total (27,700).

Freshwater stingrays are captured at a young age, when their disks are approximately 6 cm in diameter. In an aquarium, they can grow to approximately 20-30 cm. They may then be considered too large, in which case they may be released into a river, lake or dam reservoir. This is why there are now many of these stingrays in rivers in southern and southeastern Brazil, which may be another reason for the increasing frequency of accidents.

"Now that we know the venom changes depending on age and sex, we'll be able to provide more suitable treatments for victims when they come to the emergency room. If they report an encounter with a small ray, for example, the attending or nurse can opt for antivenom serum therapy with peptides. However, if the individual has been stung by an adult ray, medical staff should consider a protein antivenom," Lopes-Ferreira said.

Freshwater stingrays are found only in South America. They evolved from a marine ancestor that took up residence inland after part of the continent was flooded by rising sea levels during the Eocene Epoch, approximately 50 million years ago, and possibly in the Miocene, approximately 20 million years ago.

When the sea retreated from what is now Amazonia, saltwater species had to adapt to freshwater environments or they would disappear. Some species succeeded, including the Amazon river dolphin (Inia geoffrensis) and manatee (Trichechus spp.), as well as the stingrays.

There are four genera with a total of 34 species. Potamotrygon alone comprises 27 species; 21 are found in Brazil, and 11 are endemic to Brazilian rivers.

[florida80]

Planning On Taking A Life The Same Day You’re Giving Birth To One

Bad Behavior, Canada, Hospital, Non-Dialogue, Nurses, Ontario | | Healthy | June 6, 2019


I’m past due with my second child by a week when I wake up around 4:00 am and find fresh blood in the toilet after urinating. I wake my husband, get the toddler ready, and grab the bags, and we get to the hospital a little before 7:00 am. At this point, I am beginning to feel contractions coming on. The intake takes several minutes before I’m placed in a pre-check room — essentially a small department of eight beds, divided by curtains, where they do cervix checks, blood pressure, and first-step inductions. I’m placed in the last bed on the far side and hooked up to a fetus monitor while a new nurse checks all my vitals. I come to hate this woman immediately.

She tells us first that my toddler can’t be in the room with us, to which my husband and I both say we are trying to contact nearby family but no one’s answering yet, plus we have yet to be moved to a birthing suite and I cannot carry all those bags myself at this time. The nurse relents after two more tellings, but says snippily that the toddler can’t be there for the birth. We both know and inform her that we have no intention of having my toddler in the room at that time. She leaves and my husband goes back to calling family repeatedly.

A second nurse comes in, checks everything and suggests maybe I go home, stating that it’s probably too early for anything to happen. I tell her I don’t want to — that the contractions are starting to hurt badly — so she takes me into the birthing wing and sets me up in the jacuzzi. I’m there for twenty minutes. The first half, I’m starting to feel better, but then the contractions double. I count through the pain that I’m in a contraction for about a minute every two minutes.

Cue the b**** nurse. She comes in at 8:00 am and says I shouldn’t be in the tub — yet doesn’t help me climb out — and that my contractions can’t possibly be coming that fast, and has me walk back to the intake wing. Everything hurts! I’m trying not to cry and to do the breathing exercises, etc., all while the nurse hooks me back up to the fetus monitor, berates my husband for still having our toddler here, and then leaves. She only returns once, to snap at me, saying, “You need to keep it down! You can’t be screaming or crying; you’re upsetting other patients here!”

For context, I was induced in my first pregnancy due to the possibility of preeclampsia, stayed four days in the hospital, and was so completely loopy between lack of sleep and the epidural that come the birth, I did it half-dazed. I have never experienced the pain before this, but I’m trying to soldier on and muffle any screaming and tears due to my toddler being in the room. I finally convince the nurse to check my cervix next time she’s in, which she does, only to say I’m not even dilated. That’s a lie, because I was nearly two centimeters dilated when I saw my OB three days ago. I ask for the doctor and she says he’s not there and leaves. My husband leaves at this time to pass our toddler on to family. Out of desperation, I call out for a nurse until another one comes a few minutes later. I immediately ask to see the doctor and she goes to fetch him. He comes in at 9:00 am with the b**** nurse, who’s talking to him, “She’s not dilated… Didn’t do labour classes… Not breathing right…”

I want to punch her.

The doctor takes off the fetus monitor devices and checks my cervix. He goes, “She’s four centimeters dilated! Get her to the birthing suite now.” Then he vacates the room.

The nurse looks at me. “Okay, let’s go.”

A second nurse asks if she should grab the wheelchair, to which b**** nurse says we don’t need it and proceeds to have me walk out of the intake wing and into the labour side. That’s a distance of seven hospital beds and past three birthing rooms.

I’m leaning against the wall, trying to walk through crippling contractions, while she’s telling me I need to hurry up and I shouldn’t take so long. I hiss at my husband that if she doesn’t stop talking at me, once I get closer I’m going to rip her throat out. Unfortunately, she says nothing by the time I shuffle to the door and disappears.

No thanks to her, I can’t receive any pain medication because I am too far dilated by this point, and I deliver my healthy baby a few minutes after 10:00 am.

[florida80]

Under This Care, You Won’t Live To Be 26, Let Alone 102

England, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, London, Non-Dialogue, Nurses, UK | | Healthy | June 5, 2019


After being rushed to hospital via ambulance, I was put in a bed on the ward around two in the morning.

Each bay had four beds in it, and each bed was labelled one through four. The patients’ names were above the beds, and the charts were located at the bottom of the beds.

I hadn’t been asleep for long when I was suddenly thrown upright by someone fiddling with my bed and adjusting the top so I was sitting. Another nurse grabbed my arm before I had fully woken up, so there was one on each side. One was taking my blood pressure and the other was about to insert a needle into my cannula.

Neither had said a word to me.

Tired, cranky, and having only just gotten to sleep after being transferred up from A&E, I asked them what they were doing.

“Just giving you your medicine, Catherine,” one of the nurses replied.

My name is not Catherine.

I asked them to check my chart and to get the needles away from me. They did, grumbling as if I was being dramatic, only to both go wide-eyed. I was in bed two and apparently, they needed the woman in bed one.

I thought nothing of it. I was only happy that they hadn’t injected me with a random drug as I was pregnant, and who knows what could have happened.

It wasn’t until the next morning that I found out that Catherine in the bed across from me was 102 years old and suffering from dementia.

I was twenty-five and heavily pregnant at the time.

I don’t know how they managed to mix us up, but it did not give me much confidence in the nurses during that hospital stay.

[florida80]

Sleep Until Noon And Then TV Show – Yeah, They Really Need Therapy

Crazy Requests, Germany, Medical Office, Time | | Healthy | June 4, 2019


(As an occupational therapist, it’s my responsibility to coordinate appointments with my patients, both in the office or in their home. Sometimes I have to shuffle them around to fit them all in, minding their work schedules and such. I’m trying to find an appointment with a patient:)

Patient: “You can’t come before 11:00 am; I like to sleep late. But 1:00 pm on Wednesday would be fine.”

Me: “I’m afraid that’s not possible, as I have already scheduled another patient at that time. How about Thursday, 2:00 pm?”

Patient: “I don’t know. [TV Show] is running at that time. Can you come later on Wednesday?”

Me: “Not really. The whole Wednesday is full; I have patients coming in from 8:00 am to 6:00 pm. I’m not even sure I will get to take a break in between. So, Wednesday isn’t going to work.”

Patient: “Well, I don’t mind you coming in after 6:00 pm. In fact, that would be perfect. But don’t come after 7:00 pm, because it would be too late.”

(I love my job. But I’m not going to work that much overtime, after a ten-hour day, to accommodate your naps and TV shows!)

[florida80]

That Day Just Flu Past

Doctor/Physician, Extra Stupid, Medical Office, USA | |
Healthy | June 2, 2019

(This happens when I get sick during middle school. My mother brings me to urgent care to get me checked out.)

Doctor: “Looks like she’s managed to catch this year’s flu.” *gives usual instructions for dealing with it* “After her temperature has been normal for a full day she can go back to school.”

Mom: “Just one day?”

Doctor: “Yes, that should be long enough.”

(My mother tells me on the car ride home that she found this odd. Before, when my brother or I have gotten sick like this, our regular doctor has instructed her to keep us home until our temperature was normal for two full days. But, he’s the doctor, right? He must know what he’s talking about. So, once my fever has been down for a day, I go back to school. The day starts out fine, but on the bus ride home I start to feel really cruddy. I tell my mom how I’m feeling, and we end up going into urgent care again. A nurse comes in to talk to us first, and my mom tells her about my last visit there.)

Nurse: “He said to send her back after only one day of feeling better? Seriously?!”

(She was pretty incredulous that such instructions had been given. The checkup proceeded, and it turns out I’d caught pneumonia. That most likely happened because I’d gone back to school before my immune system was able to fully bounce back.)

[florida80]

Doesn’t Understand The Weight That Comes With Being A Doctor

Doctor/Physician, Extra Stupid, Jerk, Medical Office, USA, Virginia | | Healthy | June 1, 2019


(I go to a doctor’s office where you have a regularly-prescribed doctor but if they are out, you get another that works in that specific building. I have been suffering from extreme menstrual pains ever since I started and have been to the doctor many times to find a solution, getting dumb answers — such as when I tell them I’ve lost about 50 pounds over six months and they tell me that I’m not watching my weight — but this one takes the cake.)

Newer Doctor: “I see you’ve been here for this problem before. What did [Regular Doctor] say?”

Me: “The last time I was here, he suggested [pain reliever] and to stop eating dairy completely, and if that didn’t work, he was going to prescribe me [birth control].”

Newer Doctor: “Oh, no, no, no. We are not going to put you on a pill to mess with all your hormones. You should go on a diet and you’ll start to feel better.”

Me: “But I’m already on the Keto diet. Do you want me to start eating ice?”

Newer Doctor: “I don’t believe that! I’ve seen your records of weight, and you’ve lost a lot, but you need to lose much more!”

Me: “Isn’t the suggested weight 180 pounds? I’m 195. At this rate, I’ll be 140 before summer!”

Newer Doctor: “That’s good! A doctor should always tell you to lose weight! I hate when I go to the doctor and they just try to change everything about my body.”

Me: *thinking* “Isn’t that exactly what you’re doing?!”

(I took her advice with a grain of salt and went back when my regular doctor got back. I started taking the pill and it has helped significantly!)

[florida80]

“Cheer Up!” Is What All People With Depression Want To Hear

Doctor/Physician, Extra Stupid, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, Pennsylvania, USA | | Healthy | May 31, 2019


(After a couple of years of not being able to go to counseling for my various issues, I am trying out a new practice with my new insurance. This occurs during the initial interview with the physician’s assistant who is supposed to help me choose a counselor.)

Me: “And I sometimes feel like, whatever decision I make will be the wrong one, just because I made it…”

Physician’s Assistant: *without looking up from her notes* “Oh, don’t feel like that.”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry?”

Physician’s Assistant: “You shouldn’t feel like that. It’s not helpful.” *finally looking up at me* “So, what were you saying?”

(That was the last time I went to that office. I have to wonder how many years of schooling this woman had under her belt, and still somehow thought it was a brilliant idea to tell someone with severe depression and anxiety that all their problems would be solved if they just “don’t feel like that”!)

[florida80]

Nursing Them Into A Modern Education

Bigotry, Extra Stupid, home, Kansas, Students, USA | | Healthy | May 31, 2019


(One summer, I tutor a kid in my neighborhood because he failed his freshman English course and needs to retake it as summer school. One day while we are working, my brother, who is working on his RN at the time, comes downstairs in his scrubs and heads to work. Once he leaves, the kid I am tutoring asks about my brother.)

Me: “Yeah, my brother is studying to be a nurse.”

Kid: “You mean a doctor?”

Me: “No, a nurse.”

Kid: “Wait, men can be nurses?”

(This kid was 14 and genuinely had no idea that men could be nurses. He thought men were doctors and women were nurses. I don’t know if he thought those were just gendered terms for the same profession, or if he genuinely thought that no man would ever stoop to being a nurse, but I found that a little worrying, as did my brother when I told him.)

[florida80]

I Am Anti-Antibiotics

Doctor/Physician, England, Hospital, Jerk, UK | | Healthy | May 30, 2019


(After I get back from my vacation, I get a bad UTI infection and need antibiotics from my General Practitioner. I am prescribed a course and everything is good until the evening. My entire body randomly breaks out in spots — big, red, blotchy patches. It feels like ants are crawling over my entire body. At around three am, I go to the urgent care centre and the out-of-hours GP calls me through.)

Me: “I have this rash. It hurts so much. It started after I started taking the penicillin this morning. I’ve never been allergic before but my mum and grandma are—“

GP: “I’ll stop you there. This is clearly eczema.”

Me: “I don’t think so. My chest really hurts, too.”

GP: “Definitely eczema. There isn’t much I can do.”

Me: “I don’t think it’s eczema. It’s come on really suddenly.”

(I’m struggling to breathe and the rash has spread up my neck and throat.)

GP: “Stop being a baby! My niece has diabetes and she’s never moaned as much as you have right now!”

(I excuse myself and stumble back to the waiting room. My mum is there and manages to catch me as I collapse on the floor. She calls for an ambulance and the doctor comes back out.)

GP: “You can’t sleep here!”

Mum: “She can’t breathe, you idiot!”

(The ambulance came and I was given an adrenaline shot and rushed into the main section of the hospital. I was right. It was anaphylaxis. I was having an allergic reaction to penicillin.)

[florida80]

I Don’t Drink, But After This, I Wanna

Bad Behavior, Doctors, England, Hampshire, Medical Office, UK | | Healthy | May 29, 2019


(I am 19, and I go in for my annual checkup at the doctor. I am given a standard medical questionnaire to fill in. One of the questions is, “On average, how many units of alcohol do you drink a week?” I have never been a big drinker, not even as a teen. Not for any particular reason; it just isn’t my thing. At most, I have a few drinks on New Years and a few on my birthday. I write on the form that I have a couple of units a week, which would average out to the few drinks on my birthday and New Years with plenty of wiggle room to spare, just in case. I hand the form in, and it is sent to the doctor. Eventually, he calls me in. We do my height and weight and blood pressure. All good. Then he comes to my alcohol intake and narrows his eyes at me.)

Doctor: “You can be truthful, you know. I’m a medical professional.”

Me: “I know. I am being honest. I’m not a big drinker.”

(He stares at me for a while.)

Doctor: “I was young once. And I have teenage kids. I’m not going to judge you. Be honest.”

Me: “I am being honest. I’m not a drinker.”

Doctor: *condescendingly* “What do you do when you go clubbing? Drink water?”

(Taken aback, I shake my head. I don’t go clubbing; nightclubs are my idea of Hell. I have a full-time job, often working fifty or more hours, and I have no interest in going to loud clubs or bars on my days off.)

Me: “I don’t go out much. I’d rather go out for coffee than go clubbing.”

(The doctor raises his eyebrows.)

Doctor: “Okay, well, I’m going to put you down for ten units a week.”

(He picks up his pen and actually crosses out what I wrote.)

Me: “No! What I wrote was true. I don’t drink. Even a few units a week is generous. I don’t want you to change what I wrote.”

Doctor: “Look, just be honest. If you’re not, we can’t treat you.”

Me: “I am being honest. I don’t give you permission to change it.”

Doctor: “Well, I’m the doctor, and I have reason to believe you are being dishonest. You need to stop lying on medical forms. That’s a big deal. If you keep lying on them, you could die because we don’t have the right information.”

(I keep trying to argue with him but he writes over what I wrote and puts down ten units a week. Dumbfounded and unsure of what to do, I carry on with the rest of the exam, just wanting it to be over. As soon as I am out, I go straight to reception and tell them I want to make a complaint. At first, the receptionist is alarmed and asks what the problem is. When I tell her, she pauses and then rolls her eyes.)

Receptionist: “Look, sweetie, we won’t tell your parents. Everything you tell us is confidential.”

Me: “I live by myself. That’s not my issue. The doctor falsified my medical records without my permission.”

Receptionist: “Your medical records need to be accurate, sweetie. Otherwise, we can’t treat you.”

(The receptionist refuses to log my complaint. When I continue to insist, she looks down her nose at me.)

Receptionist: “For somebody who doesn’t drink, you sure are protesting a lot.”

(I wanted to scream at her that I was angry because they were DELIBERATELY FALSIFYING my medical records, but instead, I left and transferred to another practice.)

[florida80]

They Don’t “Do” Paying

Belgium, Call Center, Extra Stupid, Insurance, Non-Dialogue | | Healthy | May 28, 2019


(I used to work for a medical insurance company. I answered phone calls and emails from customers who had questions about their insurance policy or reimbursements. In this case, the customer had a coverage of 80%, meaning that he had to pay for 20% of the amount himself. The following is an exchange over email.)

Customer: “I saw that 80% of my invoice was paid, but what do I have to do about the remaining balance?”

Me: “The coverage for this type of expense is 80%. This means that we have paid for 80% of your expenses to the hospital directly. The other 20% should be paid by you, yourself.”

Customer: “I don’t understand. What do I have to do?”

Me: “Since the coverage is not at 100%, this means that we cannot pay for 100%. We have paid our share to the hospital. The remaining balance of [amount] should be paid to the hospital by you, yourself. If you have already paid this to the hospital, everything is fine and no further action is required. If you want, you can give me a phone call or provide me with your phone number, so I can give you a call, so I can explain this to you by phone.”

Customer: “I really don’t understand. What do you want me to do?”

(He has given me no phone number and no other option than to send another email.)

Me: “The amount of [amount] has to be paid to the hospital by you, yourself. If you have already paid [amount] to the hospital, you should do nothing. If you have not yet paid [amount] to the hospital, you need to pay [amount] to the hospital. If you are unsure whether you have paid or not, please contact the hospital’s billing department.”

Customer: “I am [Customer]’s manager and I have been over these emails with him. We both do not understand what he needs to do.”

(Again, I was given no phone number. At that point, I decided to break the rules and put the email back in the general mailbox instead of my personal one to let someone else deal with it. The worst part is that these people work for the United Nations

[florida80]

Underarm Comments Are Below The Belt

Doctor/Physician, Jerk, Medical Office, UK | | Healthy | May 27, 2019


(My mum suffers from Hidradenitis Suppurativa, a chronic skin condition which sees her being plagued with recurring abscesses and boils in her sweat gland areas, particularly her underarms. This conversation occurs at her local GP surgery whilst she is suffering a particularly bad bout of abscesses.)

Mum: “I have really painful abscesses on my underarm, and I’m struggling to get dressed and move my arms as a result.”

Doctor: “Okay, let’s have a look.”

(My mum struggles to remove her coat, but finally succeeds and proceeds to show the doctor her underarm. The doctor recoils in horror.)

Doctor: “Well, you could have at least shaved before coming in.”

(My mum was horrified and embarrassed. She had had these abscesses for weeks. I’d love to know how the doctor would have suggested shaving the area whilst her underarms were in that state from the abscesses. He was fired a few months later; apparently, he’d had a number of complaints from various female patients about the comments he had made to them.)

[florida80]

The Next One Won’t Even Make It Out Of The House

Ambulance, Australia, Family & Kids, Friends, Great Stuff, Patients | | Healthy | May 27, 2019


(My friend is in labour and it becomes clear she is going to have her baby in the back of the ambulance. She is freaking out.)

Paramedic: *trying to comfort her* “This is nothing. Last year, a woman had a baby in the hospital car park.”

Friend: *wailing* “That was me!”

[florida80]

Risk Of Breast Cancer Is Not The Worst Thing In This Story

Billing, Extra Stupid, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, Non-Dialogue, USA | | Healthy | May 26, 2019


I’m a young woman who doesn’t have to go in for yearly mammograms, but when doing a check one month, I notice a possible lump. Women are encouraged to visit their doctor immediately when this happens, as breast cancer can be very aggressive. I go in to my regular doctor office, but the PA I normally see is on maternity leave, so a different one is scheduled for my visit.

The new physician is nice, but it all goes downhill once she refers me for additional testing. Her assistant schedules the referral without a checking date or time with me and doesn’t give me all the appointment info. My mammogram appointment starts out rocky as a result, but thankfully they don’t find any cancer so I’m pronounced healthy and sent on my way.

Fast forward a couple weeks, and I get an outrageous bill for the facility I was referred to. I reach out to the hospital billing and then my doctor’s office. The hospital billing team is very nice but the doctor’s office doesn’t care that they botched my referral by pushing me over to one of their connected facilities. I talk to them about once a week for a month and a half, and their office manager can’t remember to return my calls. Finally, after leaving a message for the office manager’s boss, hospital billing gets involved.

The office manager has requested that they just comp my bill because of all the issues –more than what I mentioned above — I’ve had when dealing with them. She says it should be cleared up, so I end that call relieved. Hospital billing steps in, and suddenly I’m being told that my bill is not being comped. I’m normally non-confrontational, but the woman I’m speaking to is so rude and doesn’t seem to care that her organization’s facilities have repeatedly messed up just about every interaction I’ve had related to this initial visit, or that I’ve been promised the bill will be written off already. We argue for several minutes until she agrees to take another day to look into this more and decide. It’s really just a stall on her part, as reneging on writing off the remaining bill will be going back on what her colleague promised.

She calls me the next day and begrudgingly agrees that they’ll comp my bill. I also end up speaking to the office manager again, who reminds me that they’ll expect me to pay my bills in the future.

For the record, I always pay my bills and had given them an initial payment which I thought was kind of a co-pay. I learned better as a result of this and will not make that mistake again.

We all think everything is resolved until a couple months later, when I get some cryptic call from some woman that I can barely understand. She’s asking for me to identify myself so she can discuss my account with me. I tell her that I don’t know who she is and I’m not comfortable with sharing personal info. She says that’s fine but I should call them back when I’m ready. Somewhere during the conversation, she says something that makes me realize this is a collections call.

Of course, she won’t tell me anything unless I share my info with her, but the only billing snafu of late was the hospital one. So, I call them and end up finding out that when they bill, the facility sends one bill but the radiologist sends a separate bill. And somehow, I should know that these bills are sent separately.

By now, I’m freaked because a) I thought this was resolved a few months ago, and b) I’m planning to buy a house and don’t want a collections account to show up on my credit report.

I make a few calls that result in me leaving a message with the rude hospital billing lady I spoke to a few months before. She leaves me a message later letting me know that she’s spoken to the second billing team and it should be taken care of. Our insurance person at work also tells me to call back the collections agency and let them know I’m working things out with the hospital. I do and they freeze the collections account for me.

I’ve not heard anything from either billing group, so it all seems to be resolved now. And I’ve switched to a different doctor’s office, one not connected to the hospital. Everyone is really nice and so far I’ve had no issues.

Moral of the story: ask lots of questions when your doctor refers you anywhere. And don’t go unless your insurance has signed off on that being the best in-network facility and estimated how much it will cost.

[florida80]

Grandma Needs To Stop Beeping Swearing

Bizarre, Golden Years, home, Nurses, The Netherlands | | Healthy | May 25, 2019


(I’m visiting my grandma, who is in her nineties, alongside my dad, who is 70. We talk about how life is going and suddenly I stop.)

Dad: “What’s wrong?”

Me: “I’m hearing a beep.”

Grandma: “What? What did she say? I haven’t got my hearing aids in today!”

(She is feeling a bit ill.)

Dad: “[My Name] says she hears a beep!”

Grandma: “I don’t hear anything!”

Dad: “That’s because your hearing aids aren’t in, Mom!”

Grandma: “What?!”

(Meanwhile, I’ve been browsing through the apartment, even looking outside. I’m moving my hand along with the beep; it’s several short ones and then a longer one, but never in a steady pattern.)

Grandma: “What is she doing?!”

Dad: “She’s looking for that beep!”

Grandma: “I’m not hearing anything!”

Dad: “Me, neither… [My Name] are you sure?”

(I can’t find the source, but limit it to a zone inside the living room, but nothing beeps whenever my ear gets near. What’s left is the fire alarm on the ceiling, beyond my reach. Maybe that is the source? Half an hour later, a nurse comes for my grandma’s medicine.)

Dad: “Excuse me, miss. My daughter is hearing a beep and I can’t hear it. Could you listen if you hear a beep, as well? She thought it could be from the fire alarm?”

Nurse: “What should I listen for?”

Me: “I’m not sure. It goes ‘beep-beep-beeeep,’ but never regularly. It sometimes reminds me of a microphone getting close to a speaker.”

(We are silent and the nurse nods. She confirms she hears the beeps, as well. She looks around and walks to the table. She picks something up.)

Nurse: “Is it gone now?”

Me: “Yes! What was it?!”

Nurse: “Your grandmother’s hearing aids. They were still on and too close to each other.”

[florida80]

At Least Her Heart Was In It

Canada, Cousins, Extra Stupid, Hospital, Non-Dialogue, Ontario | | Healthy | May 24, 2019


I was a pre-teen when I was sent to the local hospital with what started as pneumonia, but we quickly discovered I had a host of heart problems. My doctors were debating putting me on the transplant list, or waiting until I could do open heart surgery. I spent about two months in the hospital the first time.

Many of my family and friends were incredibly supportive. They sent get-well cards, comic books, food, and gift cards for the family, and some even came across the country to help with the house. But one cousin, in her 30s, was a bit clueless on the wonderful world of cardiac diseases.

A month into my stay, I received a gift basket from my cousin and her husband. In it, there were Pringles, pretzels, chips, pop, and a note asking us to visit her if we were ever in her state. We don’t know if it was a clerical error or her thinking a preteen loves these foods — which I did, when they didn’t almost kill me.

We laugh about it now, and whenever someone is sick in the family, I always think of the “deliberate cardiac arrest” gift basket.

[florida80]

The Sub Is Sub Standard

Lazy/Unhelpful, New Jersey, Nurses, School, USA | | Healthy | May 24, 2019


(I am in fifth grade, about ten years old. We are learning to play basketball in gym class, which is more or less just dribbling and passing. One of the boys in class decides, for whatever reason, to deliberately chuck a basketball full-force at my face. It hits me VERY hard in the jaw, and I hear and feel a loud snap in my mouth. The boy is made to run laps for the remainder of class while I am sent to the nurse’s office. Normally our nurse is great, and she knows me well because I am sick fairly often due to a weak immune system, but unfortunately, she is out today and we have a substitute.)

Me: *timidly* “Excuse me.”

Sub Nurse: *rudely and without looking up from her trashy “women’s interests” magazine* “What?”

Me: “Um, I got hit in the mouth during gym and I think I broke a tooth.”

Sub Nurse: *still not looking up* “You’re fine. Go back to class.”

Me: “But it hit really hard and I felt something crack. I really think my tooth is broken.”

Sub Nurse: *STILL not looking up* “You’re fine. Now go away!”

Me: “But you didn’t even look!”

Sub Nurse: *FINALLY looking up at me, glaring* “God, I am so sick of you kids making up stupid excuses just to get out of class for a few minutes! There’s nothing wrong with you. Now get back to class and stop bothering me!”

(I’m an extremely shy, mild-mannered child and I don’t know what to do, so I leave. Gym class is the second class of the day, meaning I spend the better part of three hours with a bruised jaw and a broken tooth. Finally, it is time to go home and I tell my mom what happened. She looks at my tooth, confirms it is broken, and takes me to the dentist, who easily removes the pieces of my tooth with a piece of gauze.)

Dentist: “Wow, you didn’t just break this; you snapped it clean in half! What happened, hun?”

Me: “A boy in gym class hit me in the face with a basketball.”

Dentist: *sympathetically* “Yeah, boys are dumb at your age. But why didn’t you go to the school nurse?”

Me: “I did. She wasn’t in, and the sub told me I was fine and to go away and stop bothering her. She didn’t even look at my tooth.”

Dentist: *silent for a moment* “I see. What school do you go to again?”

Me: “[Middle School].”

Dentist: “Okay. Well, here’s your tooth, [My Name]. I’m sure the Tooth Fairy will give you something a little extra, considering the circumstances.”

(The dentist gave a knowing smile to my mom, who smiled back. The next day at school the regular nurse was back and she apologized for what the sub had done. Apparently, my dentist had called the school after Mom and I left his office and told the principal what had happened. Mom got a VERY apologetic phone call from the principal!)

[florida80]

Their Long Distance Wires Got Crossed

Bay Area, California, Extra Stupid, Medical Office, Nurses, USA | | Healthy | May 23, 2019


(I am visiting a family planning clinic to get on birth control.)

Staff: “So, other than regulating your menstrual cycle, why are you going onto birth control if you’re not sexually active?”

Me: “I’m in a long distance relationship and my boyfriend is coming to spend two weeks straight with me. So, naturally, I want to be smart.”

(The staff member frowns, looks blank, and then discusses the side effects of the protections.)

Staff: “So, why do you want the [protections] again? You told us you’re not currently sexually active.”

Me: *pause* “Because… I am in a long distance relationship and my boyfriend will be visiting soon.”

(The staff member stares at my file, still looking blank.)

Me: *thinking* “Oh, my God, why is she not getting this?!”

Staff: “So, you still haven’t explained why you want to be on the [protection]. Is it because you want to regulate your menstrual cycle, and that’s it?”

Me: “Yes, I did tell you why. I told you twice.”

Staff: “And?”

Me: *face-palming* “My boyfriend is coming to visit.”

Staff: *still looks blank* “But you’re not sexually active?”

Me: “You know what? I give up. Write whatever the heck you want in my chart.”

Staff: “I can’t write whatever I want; I need an actual reason.”

Me: “I AM NOT SEXUALLY ACTIVE RIGHT NOW, BUT I AM GOING TO BE SEXUALLY ACTIVE WITH MY BOYFRIEND WHILE HE VISITS!”

Staff: “So, you just want to regulate your menstrual cycle, since you’re not sexually active?”

Me: “Okay, I’m done with this nonsense. I’m going to a different [Clinic]…”

(Funnily enough, the next nearest clinic caught on the first time I mentioned my boyfriend, and I got my protections right away. When I looked back on it later, I could kind of understand someone having difficulties with a patient who is merely implying rather than outright stating, but at the point that I baldly stated my intentions, it should have clicked.)

[florida80]

A Truly Laborious Line Of Questioning

Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Jerk, Nurses, UK | | Healthy | May 23, 2019


(My sister has recently gone into labour. I have come to the hospital to drop off some things she forgot to pack. As I head into her room, I hear her screaming.)

Sister: “I’M IN LABOUR! WHAT DO YOU THINK?!”

(I see she has been screaming at a nurse. The nurse blushes and runs out.)

Me: “What was that about?”

Sister: “She walks in and looks at my records, then asks, ‘Is it possible you’re pregnant?’ I ask her if she’s joking and she starts scolding me for being insensitive to pregnant women. We’re on a f****** maternity ward!”

(I burst out laughing, and after a while, my sister did, as well. The head nurse dropped by later to apologise for the nurse’s behaviour. My sister would have been fine with it and apologised, too, until the head nurse let slip that the nurse refused to even acknowledge that her question was in bad taste given her location and the context, and threatened to have my sister removed for abusive behaviour. I saw the nurse again later, complaining to a cashier in the cafe about having to help stroke victims bathe.)

[florida80]

What Kills You In Vegas Kills You Everywhere

Extra Stupid, Hotel, Las Vegas, Nevada, Non-Dialogue, Patients, Tourists/Travel, USA | | Healthy | May 22, 2019


I work for a hotel in Las Vegas. While working security one night, I am sent up to a guest’s room who is having an allergic reaction. I arrive and the man is in a pretty bad way. He has his shirt off, his chest is covered with hives, and his throat is closing so fast he can’t speak and soon may not even be able to breathe.

I call for the paramedics and they arrive fairly quickly. They give the man a shot, and his allergy symptoms quickly begin to get better. When he can finally speak, one paramedic asks if the man is allergic to any kind of food. The man admits he’s severely allergic to shellfish. The paramedic then asks if the man has eaten any shellfish lately. The man then says, “I just came back from a seafood buffet and ate a lot of it because it doesn’t count when you’re in Vegas.”

So many people see the city slogan, “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas,” and think Las Vegas is some kind of negative zone where anything you do doesn’t affect real life

[florida80]

Grandma Needs To Stop Beeping Swearing

Bizarre, Golden Years, home, Nurses, The Netherlands | | Healthy | May 25, 2019


(I’m visiting my grandma, who is in her nineties, alongside my dad, who is 70. We talk about how life is going and suddenly I stop.)

Dad: “What’s wrong?”

Me: “I’m hearing a beep.”

Grandma: “What? What did she say? I haven’t got my hearing aids in today!”

(She is feeling a bit ill.)

Dad: “[My Name] says she hears a beep!”

Grandma: “I don’t hear anything!”

Dad: “That’s because your hearing aids aren’t in, Mom!”

Grandma: “What?!”

(Meanwhile, I’ve been browsing through the apartment, even looking outside. I’m moving my hand along with the beep; it’s several short ones and then a longer one, but never in a steady pattern.)

Grandma: “What is she doing?!”

Dad: “She’s looking for that beep!”

Grandma: “I’m not hearing anything!”

Dad: “Me, neither… [My Name] are you sure?”

(I can’t find the source, but limit it to a zone inside the living room, but nothing beeps whenever my ear gets near. What’s left is the fire alarm on the ceiling, beyond my reach. Maybe that is the source? Half an hour later, a nurse comes for my grandma’s medicine.)

Dad: “Excuse me, miss. My daughter is hearing a beep and I can’t hear it. Could you listen if you hear a beep, as well? She thought it could be from the fire alarm?”

Nurse: “What should I listen for?”

Me: “I’m not sure. It goes ‘beep-beep-beeeep,’ but never regularly. It sometimes reminds me of a microphone getting close to a speaker.”

(We are silent and the nurse nods. She confirms she hears the beeps, as well. She looks around and walks to the table. She picks something up.)

Nurse: “Is it gone now?”

Me: “Yes! What was it?!”

Nurse: “Your grandmother’s hearing aids. They were still on and too close to each other.”

[florida80]

At Least Her Heart Was In It

Canada, Cousins, Extra Stupid, Hospital, Non-Dialogue, Ontario | | Healthy | May 24, 2019


I was a pre-teen when I was sent to the local hospital with what started as pneumonia, but we quickly discovered I had a host of heart problems. My doctors were debating putting me on the transplant list, or waiting until I could do open heart surgery. I spent about two months in the hospital the first time.

Many of my family and friends were incredibly supportive. They sent get-well cards, comic books, food, and gift cards for the family, and some even came across the country to help with the house. But one cousin, in her 30s, was a bit clueless on the wonderful world of cardiac diseases.

A month into my stay, I received a gift basket from my cousin and her husband. In it, there were Pringles, pretzels, chips, pop, and a note asking us to visit her if we were ever in her state. We don’t know if it was a clerical error or her thinking a preteen loves these foods — which I did, when they didn’t almost kill me.

We laugh about it now, and whenever someone is sick in the family, I always think of the “deliberate cardiac arrest” gift basket

[florida80]

The Sub Is Sub Standard

Lazy/Unhelpful, New Jersey, Nurses, School, USA | | Healthy | May 24, 2019


(I am in fifth grade, about ten years old. We are learning to play basketball in gym class, which is more or less just dribbling and passing. One of the boys in class decides, for whatever reason, to deliberately chuck a basketball full-force at my face. It hits me VERY hard in the jaw, and I hear and feel a loud snap in my mouth. The boy is made to run laps for the remainder of class while I am sent to the nurse’s office. Normally our nurse is great, and she knows me well because I am sick fairly often due to a weak immune system, but unfortunately, she is out today and we have a substitute.)

Me: *timidly* “Excuse me.”

Sub Nurse: *rudely and without looking up from her trashy “women’s interests” magazine* “What?”

Me: “Um, I got hit in the mouth during gym and I think I broke a tooth.”

Sub Nurse: *still not looking up* “You’re fine. Go back to class.”

Me: “But it hit really hard and I felt something crack. I really think my tooth is broken.”

Sub Nurse: *STILL not looking up* “You’re fine. Now go away!”

Me: “But you didn’t even look!”

Sub Nurse: *FINALLY looking up at me, glaring* “God, I am so sick of you kids making up stupid excuses just to get out of class for a few minutes! There’s nothing wrong with you. Now get back to class and stop bothering me!”

(I’m an extremely shy, mild-mannered child and I don’t know what to do, so I leave. Gym class is the second class of the day, meaning I spend the better part of three hours with a bruised jaw and a broken tooth. Finally, it is time to go home and I tell my mom what happened. She looks at my tooth, confirms it is broken, and takes me to the dentist, who easily removes the pieces of my tooth with a piece of gauze.)

Dentist: “Wow, you didn’t just break this; you snapped it clean in half! What happened, hun?”

Me: “A boy in gym class hit me in the face with a basketball.”

Dentist: *sympathetically* “Yeah, boys are dumb at your age. But why didn’t you go to the school nurse?”

Me: “I did. She wasn’t in, and the sub told me I was fine and to go away and stop bothering her. She didn’t even look at my tooth.”

Dentist: *silent for a moment* “I see. What school do you go to again?”

Me: “[Middle School].”

Dentist: “Okay. Well, here’s your tooth, [My Name]. I’m sure the Tooth Fairy will give you something a little extra, considering the circumstances.”

(The dentist gave a knowing smile to my mom, who smiled back. The next day at school the regular nurse was back and she apologized for what the sub had done. Apparently, my dentist had called the school after Mom and I left his office and told the principal what had happened. Mom got a VERY apologetic phone call from the principal!)

[florida80]

Their Long Distance Wires Got Crossed

Bay Area, California, Extra Stupid, Medical Office, Nurses, USA | | Healthy | May 23, 2019


(I am visiting a family planning clinic to get on birth control.)

Staff: “So, other than regulating your menstrual cycle, why are you going onto birth control if you’re not sexually active?”

Me: “I’m in a long distance relationship and my boyfriend is coming to spend two weeks straight with me. So, naturally, I want to be smart.”

(The staff member frowns, looks blank, and then discusses the side effects of the protections.)

Staff: “So, why do you want the [protections] again? You told us you’re not currently sexually active.”

Me: *pause* “Because… I am in a long distance relationship and my boyfriend will be visiting soon.”

(The staff member stares at my file, still looking blank.)

Me: *thinking* “Oh, my God, why is she not getting this?!”

Staff: “So, you still haven’t explained why you want to be on the [protection]. Is it because you want to regulate your menstrual cycle, and that’s it?”

Me: “Yes, I did tell you why. I told you twice.”

Staff: “And?”

Me: *face-palming* “My boyfriend is coming to visit.”

Staff: *still looks blank* “But you’re not sexually active?”

Me: “You know what? I give up. Write whatever the heck you want in my chart.”

Staff: “I can’t write whatever I want; I need an actual reason.”

Me: “I AM NOT SEXUALLY ACTIVE RIGHT NOW, BUT I AM GOING TO BE SEXUALLY ACTIVE WITH MY BOYFRIEND WHILE HE VISITS!”

Staff: “So, you just want to regulate your menstrual cycle, since you’re not sexually active?”

Me: “Okay, I’m done with this nonsense. I’m going to a different [Clinic]…”

(Funnily enough, the next nearest clinic caught on the first time I mentioned my boyfriend, and I got my protections right away. When I looked back on it later, I could kind of understand someone having difficulties with a patient who is merely implying rather than outright stating, but at the point that I baldly stated my intentions, it should have clicked.)

[florida80]

A Truly Laborious Line Of Questioning

Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Jerk, Nurses, UK | | Healthy | May 23, 2019


(My sister has recently gone into labour. I have come to the hospital to drop off some things she forgot to pack. As I head into her room, I hear her screaming.)

Sister: “I’M IN LABOUR! WHAT DO YOU THINK?!”

(I see she has been screaming at a nurse. The nurse blushes and runs out.)

Me: “What was that about?”

Sister: “She walks in and looks at my records, then asks, ‘Is it possible you’re pregnant?’ I ask her if she’s joking and she starts scolding me for being insensitive to pregnant women. We’re on a f****** maternity ward!”

(I burst out laughing, and after a while, my sister did, as well. The head nurse dropped by later to apologise for the nurse’s behaviour. My sister would have been fine with it and apologised, too, until the head nurse let slip that the nurse refused to even acknowledge that her question was in bad taste given her location and the context, and threatened to have my sister removed for abusive behaviour. I saw the nurse again later, complaining to a cashier in the cafe about having to help stroke victims bathe.)

[florida80]

What Kills You In Vegas Kills You Everywhere

Extra Stupid, Hotel, Las Vegas, Nevada, Non-Dialogue, Patients, Tourists/Travel, USA | | Healthy | May 22, 2019


I work for a hotel in Las Vegas. While working security one night, I am sent up to a guest’s room who is having an allergic reaction. I arrive and the man is in a pretty bad way. He has his shirt off, his chest is covered with hives, and his throat is closing so fast he can’t speak and soon may not even be able to breathe.

I call for the paramedics and they arrive fairly quickly. They give the man a shot, and his allergy symptoms quickly begin to get better. When he can finally speak, one paramedic asks if the man is allergic to any kind of food. The man admits he’s severely allergic to shellfish. The paramedic then asks if the man has eaten any shellfish lately. The man then says, “I just came back from a seafood buffet and ate a lot of it because it doesn’t count when you’re in Vegas.”

So many people see the city slogan, “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas,” and think Las Vegas is some kind of negative zone where anything you do doesn’t affect real life.

[florida80]

Unable To Identify The Issue Is Not About Identity

Funny Names, Ignoring & Inattentive, Therapist, USA | |
Healthy | May 22, 2019

(I am at a therapist’s office for my first appointment with her. She is not my first therapist, so I have a fairly good idea of what to look for. My name has a very common nickname — I’ll pretend it’s Katelyn and Kate — and people will often start using the nickname without thinking. I am called back to meet with her.)

Therapist: “So, Katelyn, do you prefer Katelyn or Kate?”

Me: “I don’t care; either is fine.”

Therapist: “But which one do you prefer?”

Me: “I mean, when I’m in a situation where there’s someone whose actual name is Kate, I prefer to use Katelyn so people don’t get confused. But other than that, I really don’t care.”

Therapist: “Your name is an important part of your self-identity. I want to respect that. Which name do you want me to use?”

Me: *quite frustrated by now* “I don’t care! Either one is fine! You can call me Kate, you can call me Katelyn, or you can switch back and forth; it doesn’t matter!”

(She still didn’t get it. Somehow I made it through the rest of the appointment, but I never went back there. As a therapist, listening is a hugely important part of your job. If you won’t listen to me about something as simple as my name, I’m not going to trust you to listen to me at all.)

[florida80]

Painkillers Morphing Into Something Else

California, Extra Stupid, Hospital, Los Gatos, Nurses, USA | | Healthy | May 21, 2019


(During an annual summer trip to California, I start having abdominal pains. My dad brings me to a local clinic, and from there I get directed to the ER because of possible appendicitis. Once there, they hook me up to an IV. I’m a little paranoid around needles, so I ask them what exactly they’re putting in the IV. I also happen to have a fear of inebriation, as well as a fear of being forcibly injected with addictive drugs.)

Nurse: “Saline fluids and some morphine.”

Me: “Morphine? Why morphine?”

Nurse: “You said you were in pain.”

Me: “I am, but I don’t think it’s extreme enough to justify morphine!”

Nurse: “Okay, we can take the morphine out. You’re sure you don’t need any painkillers?”

Me: “I mean, some painkillers would be nice, but not something that extreme.”

Nurse: “Well, we can give you the morphine if you want.”

Me: “No morphine!”

Nurse: “So, you don’t need painkillers?”

(This conversation repeats a few times before I eventually tell her I don’t need painkillers and let her hook me up to the saline fluids. Some time passes, and eventually, another nurse comes to check on me.)

Nurse #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “And have you had any painkillers?”

Me: “Well, they kept offering me morphine, but I didn’t want that. It seems a little extreme.”

Nurse #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Wait, so, no one offered you any Tylenol?”

Me: “No!”

(The second nurse brought me some Tylenol, and that did seem to help, but I will forever be confused about the first nurse who seemed to think that morphine was the only painkiller in existence.)

[florida80]

Pregnant With An Angry Appendix

Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Missouri, Nurses, USA | | Healthy | May 21, 2019


(I am 19 years old and I’ve been experiencing intense pain and vomiting bile all night. I go to urgent care and am diagnosed with appendicitis and given pain meds before being transported to the hospital around 11:00 am.)

ER Nurse: “We need to give you an MRI. Take this pregnancy test, and then we can figure out what’s going on.”

Mom: “She has already been diagnosed with appendicitis at urgent care; they called and we are here for treatment.”

ER Nurse: “Well, they can only diagnose, not treat, so we need you to take the tests.”

Mom: “She will not take the tests again. You need to look in your files and find the test results they sent over.”

(I ended up going into surgery at almost 10:00 pm after being in even worse pain all day, with no meds because I wasn’t in a room but in the waiting room. I was released at 9:00 am the next day, went septic that night, and spent another three days in the hospital. We later learned that my appendix had ruptured while I was waiting and they still sent me home.)

[florida80]

Let’s Hope His Brother Isn’t A Doctor

Doctor/Physician, Funny Names, Kansas, Medical Office, Topeka, USA | | Healthy | May 20, 2019


(My nana takes me to my doctor for the first time in a couple of years. The doctor is Indian, with an Indian accent and an Indian surname that starts with “Mu.”)

Nana: “Thank you, Dr. Mufasa! Oh…”

(Luckily, the doctor thought it was hilarious, and we joked that she must get that a lot from kids since she’s also a pediatrician.)

[florida80]

Bringing Professionalism To Its Knees

Australia, Bizarre, Great Stuff, Health & Body, Medical Office, Patients, Queensland | | Healthy | May 20, 2019


(I’m a young adult woman about to have my first gynaecological examination. I have no idea what I’m doing, so my doctor is walking me through it step by step. For reference, the examination table is quite narrow to allow for easy movement around it.)

Doctor: “We need you to lie back on the table with your feet at the end, and then spread your knees. Keep your feet together. Then cover yourself with the towel and let me know you’re ready.”

(She turns away to put on gloves, and I have a moment of doubt.)

Me: “Uh, how far apart do you want my knees?”

Doctor: “As far as you can.”

(I shrug and obey, following her instructions. A moment later, the doctor turns back around and I get to enjoy a moment of bug-eyed shock before professionalism covers it.)

Me: “I used to be a gymnast.”

Doctor: “Maybe not quite that far, [My Name].”

(I had dropped my knees below the level of the table with no effort or strain. Turned out she wanted something closer to a 90-degree angle. It did teach her to be more specific with instructions in the future, though!)

[florida80]

The Weighting Room

Doctor/Physician, Ignoring & Inattentive, Illinois, Medical Office, Non-Dialogue, USA | | Healthy | May 19, 2019


I was taking in my two-week-old baby for her checkup. My husband and older son were with me since we had another errand to run before heading home. My clinic had recently moved to a bigger location a few blocks away from their old location and had new equipment recently unpacked.

I gently placed my baby, born 7 lbs and 12 oz, on the scale. She left the hospital weighing 7 lbs 6 oz, which is normal since their weight fluctuates after birth. The scale showed 7 lbs 3 oz. My husband and I were baffled, since the baby was practically breastfed every hour and if she wasn’t sleeping she was eating. She was also way heavier than at birth.

The doctor began setting me up for weigh-in appointments with a nurse, while I began to panic and doubt about my breastfeeding capabilities.

My husband is a “fixer.” He can’t help it and is constantly fixing things at home or improving them, so, of course, he began fiddling with the baby scale when the doctor briefly left the room which, in addition to my panicked state, started to annoy me. That’s when he pulled out two pieces of foam from under the scale that were clearly part of the packaging from when it was moved from the other clinic. The doctor came back and was stunned. We weighed the baby again and she was 8 lbs, 6 oz. The doctor had a stunned look in his eyes as he checked us out, and I can just imagine the panic as he thought back to how many babies had been weighed on a scale that hadn’t been properly set up.

[florida80]

The Ugly Mouth Is The One With The Ugly Words

Dentist, Germany, Jerk | | Healthy | May 18, 2019


(As a teenager I had braces that were – in some way – done incorrectly and over the course of the treatment the enamel of my teeth started to deteriorate. Since I was a quiet and shy teenager, I didn’t speak out and got in a somewhat vicious cycle of dental hygiene since properly cleaning my teeth started to hurt. After a while, I even stopped going to the dentist because I was so ashamed. However, in my twenties, I start seeing an amazing dentist who is very empathetic and doesn’t judge. Session by session, we start ironing things out, but for a very special procedure, he transfers me to a dental surgeon. This takes place at my first appointment before she even takes a look at my teeth.)

Dentist: “Hello, [My Name]. Nice to meet you! May I ask: how old are you?”

Me: “Hi… Um… I’m 24. Why?”

Dentist: “Yeah, I thought so. But from your x-rays, I’d guessed you would be 60.”

Me: *embarrassed* “Yeah, I know. But I try to contain the damage now.”

Dentist: “You’ve got to start cleaning your teeth better!”

Me: “I’m cleaning them at least twice a day now. If you take a look you’ll see. I really started taking dental hygiene very seriously and trying to save what can be saved. But the damage has been done. Still, I really clean my teeth.”

Dentist: “Don’t give me that spiel. I’ve seen how many fillings you have. You do a terrible job of keeping your teeth healthy.”

Me: *miserable* “Yes. I’m very sorry. I know.”

Dentist: “You know how ugly such teeth are, right? You’re 24. Probably looking for a nice girl to marry someday. But I’m gonna tell you right now: with those teeth, you’ll never find a girl!

Me: *on the verge of tears* “I’m really trying to take better care. [Dentist] always told me I’m really doing a good job now. I haven’t had a new cavity in two years.”

Dentist: “Well, I don’t care. Your mouth is ugly. And you’re probably gonna die alone with such bad mouth hygiene. Now, go make an appointment with my receptionist for next month so we can start making you look human again.”

(I didn’t want to object to her, but I didn’t make an appointment and even almost quit the ongoing procedures with my regular dentist. He had to talk to me for an hour until I was ready to keep going. He also said he wouldn’t transfer patients to this dental surgeon anymore.)

[florida80]

This Vet Is Worming His Way Around Your Cat

Bad Behavior, Canada, Doctor/Physician, Ontario, Vet, Whitby | | Healthy | May 17, 2019


(I set up an appointment for my cat to get his annual exam and vaccines at the vet clinic that my boyfriend and I have been taking him to since we first brought him home at three months old. He is now two-and-a-half years old, meaning with all his kitten appointments — booster shots, sterilization, etc. — we have taken him in a total of seven times prior to this. Up until this point, we have always seen the same vet, and our cat is very comfortable with her, often purring through his appointments. The day before the appointment, I get a phone call:)

Receptionist: “Hi, [My Name]! I’m calling to confirm [Cat]’s appointment for tomorrow at [time two-and-a-half hours later than the appointment was scheduled for].”

Me: “Um, I scheduled that appointment for [appointment time].”

Receptionist: “We don’t have any slots available at [time]. We can try to fit you in between appointments, but I can’t guarantee time for a full exam and vaccines.”

Me: “I scheduled this appointment weeks ago, even picking a later date, because [time] worked best with my boyfriend’s schedule and he’s the only one who drives. There’s no way you can give me the time my appointment was scheduled for?”

Receptionist: “I have it in my system that your appointment was scheduled for [two-and-a-half hours later].”

Me: “Whatever, I’ll take it, I guess. I want to stress though that I would never have picked an appointment that late; there’s no way this error was on my end.”

Receptionist: “Okay, well, don’t forget to bring in a fecal sample.”

Me: “Fecal sample? We’ve never had to bring a fecal sample before.”

Receptionist: “It’s a standard part of every annual physical.”

Me: “It’s not going to cost anything extra, is it? I just moved two weeks ago, and it cost more than I’d thought, so my money’s pretty tight for the rest of the month. I can’t afford to pay anymore than what I am for the physical and vaccines.”

Receptionist: “It’s a standard part of every physical; don’t worry.”

(Luckily, my boyfriend is able to move some things around so I don’t have to take the cat on the bus to get to the appointment. We get to the appointment and discover that the vet our cat has seen since his very first appointment is not the vet he will be seeing this time. The vet who examines our cat seems incredibly underqualified, and much more concerned about selling us products we do not need than about the health and wellbeing of our cat. It’s worth noting here that while he is technically a Domestic Short Hair, we’re reasonably certain our cat has some Bengal in him, due to his size. He measures around three feet long, which is double the average length for a DSH. After weighing our cat:)

Vet: “He weighs 15 pounds!”

Me: “Well, he is pretty big, so that’s not too surprising; that’s only a couple pounds more than I thought.”

Vet: “He needs to lose weight! He should be an eight-pound cat! What are you guys feeding him?!” *looking at boyfriend*

Boyfriend: “He lives with her, so she can answer that better than I can.”

Me: “Up until two weeks ago he was on [Brand] dry food, which I found gave him that little bit of pudge on his tummy, but he only gained about a pound or two. I would have changed his food, but my old roommate had a cat with a really sensitive stomach, and her cat couldn’t handle the food we had [Cat] on. When I moved I changed him to [Cetter Crand], and he’s been doing a lot better on it. He also gets one can of wet food each night, but we don’t have a strict brand for that; it’s just to make sure he gets enough water, since he’s pretty bad at drinking enough.”

Vet: “Do you free-feed him?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, we always have.”

Me: “It’s monitored free-feeding, though, now. My old roommate like to truly free-feed, but I always make sure to track how much he’s eating. He always has food in his bowl, but I measure it and make sure he’s only getting two servings of dry food, and his one serving of wet food.”

Vet: “You need to stop free-feeding. He only needs three servings of food a day.”

Me: “As I said, I measure his food. He’s always been a grazer, though, so putting him on a feeding schedule won’t work, because he only eats a few bites at a time. It takes him anywhere from 8 to 12 hours to empty his bowl.”

Vet: “Well, it might be hard at first, but eventually he’ll learn that if he doesn’t eat when the food goes out, he won’t eat at all.”

Me: “No, I’m not doing that to my cat. He’s not that pudgy, and aside from that, I just adopted a second cat, and she also free-feeds. It’s working really well, considering she needs a smaller serving size, and quite frankly, they both undereat anyway.”

(The vet then spends another ten minutes scolding us for letting our cat get so “horrifically overweight,” and trying to sell us a specialty diet food that is way out of our price range. She finally gives up when my boyfriend and I start getting snappy with her.)

Vet: “Okay, how has [Cat]’s behaviour been lately?”

Me: “As I mentioned a few minutes ago, I just adopted a second cat three days ago, so right now they’re having their territory and dominance disputes. Before that, though, there was nothing out of the ordinary.”

Vet: *reaches into cupboard and pulls out a spray bottle* “You should try this; it’s a synthetic pheromone that mimics the one mother cats let off to calm down kittens. It can help with the fighting if the cats aren’t getting along.”

Me: “Thanks, but I’m not going to bother right now. I don’t really have the money for that, and it’s only been three days. When [Cat] was introduced to my old roommate’s cats, it took him about a week to adjust. If it goes on longer than that, then we’ll look into it.”

(The vet then spends another five minutes trying to pressure us into buying the spray, and implying that the two cats should be best friends by this point.)

Vet: “Have you had [Cat] treated for fleas?”

Me: “Yes! Because I was moving, and my old roommate was having someone take my room, who has her own cat, we treated all the cats in the apartment over the two weeks before I left. His last treatment was the day before I left, and that should have prevented him from getting anything during the move, as well.”

Vet: “You did just bring a new cat home, though. Was she treated?”

Me: “Yes, the shelter treated her shortly before we adopted her. I also looked her over a couple times to be sure.”

Vet: “Well, they should each be treated at least one more time before winter. I can do a course of [High-End Brand] treatment for [astronomically high price], if you want to set an appointment for that.”

Me: “No, thank you. They’re both indoor cats and only go outside on the leash occasionally in the summer. When they do, I give them a preventative OTC treatment from [Pet Store], and I check them to be safe. I also do a couple preventative treatments if they haven’t gone outside, just in case something makes it into the building, because he sometimes runs into the hallway.”

(Cue more selling pressure, and scolding. By the time that finishes, we are half an hour into the appointment, and the only part of the exam she’s done is weighing the cat. She finally starts the rest of the exam, and we notice right away that she isn’t handling our cat properly at all. She has made no effort to get him comfortable with her; instead she is flipping between being overly hesitant and grabbing him roughly. He starts to get defensive, trying to jump off the table, and even baring his teeth at her, which is incredibly out of character. He’s a very social, non-aggressive cat, usually. I try to comfort him.)

Vet: “Stay out of the way.” *shoos me back*

(The vet skips half his exam, refusing to go near his mouth or paws, and not offering us any information on his health. When the exam finishes and the vaccination is completed, it is time to pay for the visit. The total was much higher than we anticipated, even with estimating higher than last year’s physical and vaccination.)

Me: “Why is it so much?”

Receptionist: “That’s because the fecal sample is an additional charge.”

Me: “You mean the fecal sample I was told was ‘standard for an annual exam,’ and led to believe was included in the price? It’s only a few dollars less than the exam was!”

(At this point, our cat was angry, stressed, and trying to claw his way out of his carrier, so we swallowed our anger and paid in the interest of getting our cat home as quickly as possible. It took me 20 minutes to convince my boyfriend — who hadn’t been able to make any of the previous vet appointments — that that is not how they usually go, and that the old vet would have been done the exam in the time this one spend scolding us and trying to sell us things. It took an additional 20 minutes to calm our cat down. The fecal test results came back the next day and I was informed it was ringworm, then given information that contradicted that diagnosis. I took both of our cats to a different vet a few days later, and upon explaining to the new vet what happened, he was appalled. He took extra care to make sure both cats were comfortable, especially before going near their tummies. When he received the fecal test results from the first clinic, I was informed it was actually roundworm and had probably come from one of the other cats at the shelter. I had them treated immediately and confirmed with the veterinarian that had we treated them for the original diagnosis, it would have done nothing to help, as ringworm is a fungal infection, whereas roundworm is a parasite. Ultimately, it worked out for the best, because we found a vet who truly cares about the wellbeing of our cats. And the cats, for the record, are best friends now, no synthetic pheromone spray needed.)

[florida80]

Desperately Looking For A Positive

Bigotry, Doctor/Physician, Jerk, Medical Office, UK | |
Healthy | May 16, 2019

(I have gone to the GP with recurring dizziness. The doctor is new and we have never met prior to today. I am male.)

Doctor: *feeling the underneath of my jaw* “How long have you experienced dizziness?”

Me: “About three weeks. I think it might be an inner ear infection, but I don’t have any other symptoms.”

Doctor: “I see, and does it…”

(His eyes narrow onto my chest tattoo.)

Doctor: “You have tattoos?”

Me: “Just this one.”

Doctor: “Hmm, it’s possible this could be HIV and/or AIDS.”

Me: “WHAT?!”

Doctor: “It’s a pretty serious condition which can spread from infected needles.”

Me: “I know what it is. It just surprises me that you think dizziness and a tattoo would make you jump to HIV. This is a twenty-odd-year-old tattoo by the way.”

Doctor: “Hmm… Your medical history shows you have had STI tests before, and with your lifestyle—“

Me: “My ‘lifestyle’ has nothing to do with this, if I get your meaning.” *assumes he has seen my husband listed as my next of kin in my records* “And I have only had one STI test in my life, which was done as part of a sexual health class when I was at college. Now, HIV usually begins to show signs within ten years of contracting it. My tattoo is over twenty years old, and my STI test was what, ten years ago? I do not have HIV.”

(The doctor begrudgingly agreed with my defense and checked my ears. He found nothing and arranged a set of tests for me. I went to my appointment with my husband as I was a little shaken by the experience, and the first thing they asked us was if we had ever been sexually active with each other and how long I had suspected having HIV. The doctor decided to put me down for the test regardless of what I said. Once we explained the situation, the nurses apologised, but in the end, I agreed to take the test to learn more about it. My husband took it, too, to be a good sport. While stressful, it was a jovial experience. A week later, we both went to our GP to find out our results — mostly mine. We had the same doctor as I’d had the first time. It turns out I had a potassium deficiency which was causing my blood pressure to fluctuate while I was standing. Our HIV tests came back negative, but this didn’t stop the doctor belittling us and our “lifestyle” for a good ten minutes while going over the results. We complained about him and he was gone by my next visit. I later heard he was also judgemental with the minority population, and had submitted more requests for HIV testing than the rest of the practice combined.)

[florida80]

Night Nurse, The Pain Is Getting Worse

Canada, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Nurses | | Healthy | May 15, 2019


(I am a 22-year-old female and have always had problems with my feet, which are completely flat and also wide. I’ve been having intense pain in my left foot for a few years, and not one doctor or specialist I’ve gone to has had an explanation. Finally, I am told by a foot surgeon that I have a deformity in both feet that has caused arthritis and is the reason I am unable to walk properly. I am advised to have two metal screws implanted in my left foot to alleviate the pain and hopefully correct the structure of my foot. I go in for surgery and this happens when I stay overnight after the operation. “Nurse” is my day nurse and “Night Nurse” is the nurse assigned to give me the pain medication during the night.)

Nurse: “I’m going to take your vitals and let you get some rest. Your night nurse will come in to give you the pain medication soon. Can you swallow pills?”

(I tell her I can and expect to have no problems. Boy, am I wrong. Over the course of the night, I am pretty loopy from the anesthesia and all I want to do is sleep. A night nurse comes in to take my vitals again sometime in the night and says someone else will give me pain medication later. This repeats for some time with her and one other nurse until the morning, where I’ve recovered enough to realize I am in intense pain and nobody has given me the pain medication I need. Early the next morning, I am exhausted and crying from the pain when my parents come to see me.)

Mom: “What happened?! Why are you crying?!”

Me: *crying* “I’ve been up almost all night and nobody gave me pain medication!”

Mom & Dad: “WHAT?!”

(They track down a nurse and repeat what I’ve said.)

Nurse: “Um, a night nurse would have given you medication. You’re supposed to take it every three hours.”

Me: “Well, no one gave me anything. They woke me up to take my vitals several times and that was it!”

Nurse: “I’m going to look into this. Let me talk to the other nurses.”

(She leaves for a bit, then comes back with the night nurse who I recognize from last night. They both don’t look happy.)

Night Nurse: “We gave you medication last night. You just don’t remember it.”

Me: “You and some other nurse woke me up to take my vitals and said someone else will give me the medication. If I took the medication, I wouldn’t be in so much pain!”

Nurse: *hands me a pill bottle* “Just to make sure, these are what you’re supposed to take. Have you had these at all?”

Me: “No! I haven’t taken any pills!”

Night Nurse: “Well, did you tell someone that you needed it?”

(My parents and the other nurse just stare at her in disbelief.)

Mom: “Of course she needs it! You’re in charge of making sure she gets the medication on time!”

Night Nurse: *snotty* “She’s a big girl. She has to tell us if she needs it or not!”

(My nurse rushes the night nurse out before the situation escalates. My parents are furious and my nurse is also frustrated. I’m angry, too, of course, but more exhausted, and I just want to go home to recover in peace.)

Nurse: “I am so sorry. I had no idea this happened. There is no excuse for that. You are absolutely right: the night staff is responsible to get you that medication and they should have been keeping an eye on you.”

Me: “Can I just go home? I really don’t want to be here anymore…”

Nurse: “Unfortunately, now that I know you haven’t had any medication, I have to keep you here to catch up on the doses. I can’t send you home until I get this in your system and make sure you’re okay.”

(I was more upset by this, but I knew she had to do her job and didn’t say anything else. Over the next few hours, I was finally given the pain medication and I basically slept all day until she told me I could go home in the evening. Thanks to the night nurse’s negligence, I had to keep taking the medication for an extra few days until the pain got under control. We filed an official complaint against the nurse, but nothing has happened so far.)

[florida80]

It’s Their First Time Or It’s Going To Be A Big Baby

Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Non-Dialogue, Northern Ireland, Reception, UK | | Healthy | May 13, 2019


Several years ago I had a summer job working as a clerical officer in an NHS Hospital. One of my reception duties involved checking patients into the antenatal clinics. The receptionist explained to me that when patients arrived for the clinic I had to take their name, and if it was their first appointment, I had to write “no file” on their letter and bring it down to the nursing station. Women who had previously been to the clinic did have a file, so I had to pull out their file, check their details were correct, and bring the file down to the nursing station.

The receptionist showed me how to do the first few arrivals and then said I could take over. The next patient arrived for her antenatal appointment. I smiled at her and her husband, greeted them warmly, and the woman handed me her appointment letter. “Okay, Mrs. [Patient],” I said, trying to appear professional. “Is this your first appointment?”

The woman looked surprised and glanced down at her belly. “No…” she said. She was quite large by this stage! Her husband just smiled, clearly amused. “Oh… Sorry!” I stammered, then retrieved her file, checked her details, and asked her to take a seat in the waiting area. As she and her husband walked off, the receptionist leaned over to me. “Yeah, it’ll be obvious to you if it’s their first appointment!” she said, smiling. I apologised again, but the receptionist told me not to worry, as we all make mistakes!

The receptionist went on holiday, and I managed to cover reception surprisingly well. And during the next three antenatal clinics, I never again made the mistake of asking a woman obviously in advanced stages of pregnancy if it was her first appointment!

[florida80]

“Women Troubles” Is NOT Women Causing Trouble

Australia, Bigotry, Doctor/Physician, Jerk, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office | | Healthy | May 11, 2019


(From my first period at age 12, I have been having horrible pain with each menstruation. Several months later, the pain is so bad that I can’t stand. My mother is alarmed and takes me to the ED. They suspect appendicitis and operate, only to find a healthy appendix. I am referred to a gynaecologist.)

Gynaecologist #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “So, I hear you’ve had a bit of a sore tummy, huh?”

Me: “Yes, it really hurts, and I—“

Gynaecologist #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Now, [My Name]. You’re grown up now. This is part of being a woman; you just have to put up with it, all right? Take some paracetamol when the pain starts and get on with it, all right?”

(I’m embarrassed to have caused such a fuss and take what he says to heart. For the next 12 years, I put up with horrendous, increasing pain, assuming all women go through it. Every cycle, without fail, I spend a minimum of 12 hours in such pain I am vomiting. It gets so that I am in pain all the time, even when I’m not menstruating. Finally, at 25, I have an epic period of 17 days of vomit-worthy pain. My parents convince me to go to the ED in my new city where I live.

The ED doctors give me a high dose of morphine and check for acute problems, then refer me to a gynaecologist. I am already convinced that this one will think I am wasting his time, too, and begin rehearsing apologies. Finally, I meet the new gynaecologist.)

Gynaecologist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “So, I hear you’ve been sore?”

Me: “Yes…” *describes situation*

Gynaecologist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Can I feel your stomach? Hmm. Okay, I’m not going to, but if I pressed hard, would it hurt?”

Me: “Yes.”

Gynaecologist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *taking his hand away* “Does it hurt now?”

Me: “Yes.”

(The gynaecologist went a little grim and told me that I needed an operation immediately. He fit me in the following week and ended up excising a LOT of tissue. It turned out that I had a condition that caused infertility if it was untreated, and the main symptom was immense pain. Luckily, the disease hadn’t yet damaged my tubes so I can still conceive naturally. With medication to manage ovulation and possibly more operations should the tissue regrow, I should be completely healthy. Most importantly, I’m not in constant pain. How lucky that I found a doctor who knew that “women troubles” was no longer a proper medical diagnosis!)

[florida80]

Pregnancy Brain Is Contagious

Extra Stupid, Hospital, Illinois, Nurses, USA | | Healthy | May 10, 2019


(I’m a surrogate pregnant with twins. I go to have a regular 20-week checkup with ultrasound. After the ultrasound, I’m surprised to be called in immediately for the doctor exam. They tell me my cervix has started opening and has shrunk; they explain I have to go to the women’s and children’s hospital for a high-risk assessment. I denied the ambulance since it is only a couple blocks away and I am not extremely worried about driving two measly blocks. After I arrive, I am brought to a room and told to get in the gown. Twenty minutes later, the nurse comes in.)

Nurse: “I see here you’re pregnant with twins. Congratulations, Mom!”

Me: “Thanks, but they’re not mine. I’m just the oven.”

Nurse: *obviously ignoring me* “Any surgeries we should know about?”

Me: “Yep, tubal ligation two years ago.”

Nurse: “I’m sorry? You had a what?”

Me: “A tubal ligation — my fallopian tubes were cut so I wouldn’t get pregnant unless it was for someone else.”

Nurse: *laughing* “Obviously, it didn’t take!”

Me: “No, it worked. As I know it says in my chart, I am a surrogate. These babies are not mine, nor will they go home with me.”

Nurse: “You’re a what?!”

Me: “Surrogate.”

Nurse: “But you’re pregnant!”

Me: “Yes, and not with my own DNA. When did you graduate nursing school?”

Nurse: “How are you a pregnant surrogate?”

(Thankfully, the high-risk doctor came in at that time, heard her, and, in words I would use for a toddler, explained how surrogacy works. Sad thing is, she was young enough to know about surrogacy, a fact that made me question her intelligence when she said “Friends” was her favorite show and loved when Phoebe was pregnant.)

[florida80]

Not Feeling Five Alive

Doctor/Physician, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, USA | | Healthy | May 10, 2019


(I have hypothyroidism, which has been successfully controlled with medication for several years. Over a couple of months, however, I notice that some of my symptoms are returning. I call my doctor, and she says she will do a blood test. I go to her office for the results.)

Doctor: “Your thyroid level is at 4.9.”

(The maximum is 5.)

Me: “Well, no wonder I’ve been feeling sick! That’s very high.”

Doctor: “Oh, no. You’re fine. Five is the top of the normal range. You’re still under that.”

Me: “But a lot of my old symptoms are coming back. I can’t sleep at night, I’m tired during the day, I’m freezing cold all the time—“

Doctor: “You’re under stress. It’s normal.”

Me: “I HAVE GAINED TWENTY POUNDS IN TWO MONTHS!”

Doctor: “Well, you just need to go on a diet.”

Me: “I exercise five days a week, and I eat my fruits and veggies! I don’t feel like myself. I know my body, and I need a medication change!”

Doctor: “Well, I’m not giving you one, because you’re normal.”

(She tells me to exercise more and gives me a vitamin supplement. I fume, but I take it. A couple of months later, I move to a different state. I go in for an appointment with my new doctor.)

New Doctor: “I’ve been reviewing your test results from your previous doctor, and I noticed your thyroid is at 4.9. That’s very high. Are you feeling okay at that number?”

Me: “Not at all! I tried to tell her, but she wouldn’t listen. She kept saying it was normal.”

New Doctor: “I’m not surprised. Older guidelines allow it to get that high, but I’ve found that my patients feel better when their thyroid is at 3 or under. I’m going to order some more blood work.”

(The new blood test showed that my number had skyrocketed to a 6. My new doctor changed my medication immediately. It took a year and three medicine changes to get it right. It turned out that my thyroid number had been creeping up for a couple of years, and my old doctor had just ignored it. I’m happy to report that I’m much better now!)

[florida80]

Starved Of Decent Medical Care

Doctor/Physician, Germany, Hospital, Jerk | | Healthy | May 10, 2019


(I have been diagnosed with Lipo/Lymph-edema several years ago, and because of that, I have gained an ungainly amount of weight on my lower half waist down and my arms. To be honest, I have not stopped caring about my weight, and every miserably failed diet has been a throwback to my mental health, too. My former doctor of choice, sadly, could not keep practicing, so I am on the lookout for a new specialist to take care of me and my needs of MLD — Manual lymph drainage — and compression stockings, to give me at least a little relief from the fluid build up in my extremities. Finding this doctor in a well-known hospital close by, a so-called specialist that was recommended to me, seems to be a lucky find!)

Doctor: “Ah, I see. A classical lip-edema type, complete with lymph-edema. Losing weight is horrible, isn’t it? No wonder, with the genetic factors, and the fact that lip-edema cannot be starved off.”

(Finally, a doctor who is not fat-shaming me or telling me to stop stuffing my face!)

Me: *almost melting into the exam table from relief* “Oh, God, yeah. It’s a nightmare! Not even six months on a 1200-calorie diet helped! And the lymph-edema is making it worse; every step hurts!”

Doctor: “Well, no wonder it hurts. I can–” *presses a thumb into my calf, making a nice deep dent there that stays even after he takes his thumb away* “–do this, and it just shows how much fluid you got. Now, you need to lose weight, drastically, and after you lost 30 to 50 kilograms, you can come back, and we’ll see how you feel.”

Me: “What? You just said… You just said that losing weight…”

Doctor: “Yes, but you need to lose weight! Get a dog or a husband, and you’ll be busy enough to forget about food! To lose weight, you should stop eating those sugary snacks, and the sugary fruit, and all those carbs, and eat more red meat and poultry! But remember, you cannot have too much protein!”

Me: *stares, not believing what I just heard* “Uh… okay? But what about compression stockings, and the MLD?”

Doctor: “Yeah, you see, I am not going to prescribe you that. You can lose weight with a good diet, and then you won’t have those symptoms anymore.”

Me: “You said lip-edema cannot be starved off… and I’m really in pain from the lymph-edema and the fluid build up. At least to help with that?”

Doctor: “Yes, but it is not worth either my time, nor the money, nor the effort to prescribe any of that if you can just lose weight, and forget about it!”

Me: *getting up, feeling like I’m in the twilight zone right now* “All right…”

(I left after that, and met with my family physician, who stared at me, called the health insurance company to complain about that doctor, prescribed me the lymph drainage and compression stockings, gave me a pamphlet about a specialised clinic for my lipo/lymph-edema, and filled out forms to get me a spot there for a three week “rehab.” He also told me to eat “normally/healthily,” since, you guessed it, lip-edema cannot be starved off.)

[florida80]

Starved Of Decent Medical Care

Doctor/Physician, Germany, Hospital, Jerk | | Healthy | May 10, 2019


(I have been diagnosed with Lipo/Lymph-edema several years ago, and because of that, I have gained an ungainly amount of weight on my lower half waist down and my arms. To be honest, I have not stopped caring about my weight, and every miserably failed diet has been a throwback to my mental health, too. My former doctor of choice, sadly, could not keep practicing, so I am on the lookout for a new specialist to take care of me and my needs of MLD — Manual lymph drainage — and compression stockings, to give me at least a little relief from the fluid build up in my extremities. Finding this doctor in a well-known hospital close by, a so-called specialist that was recommended to me, seems to be a lucky find!)

Doctor: “Ah, I see. A classical lip-edema type, complete with lymph-edema. Losing weight is horrible, isn’t it? No wonder, with the genetic factors, and the fact that lip-edema cannot be starved off.”

(Finally, a doctor who is not fat-shaming me or telling me to stop stuffing my face!)

Me: *almost melting into the exam table from relief* “Oh, God, yeah. It’s a nightmare! Not even six months on a 1200-calorie diet helped! And the lymph-edema is making it worse; every step hurts!”

Doctor: “Well, no wonder it hurts. I can–” *presses a thumb into my calf, making a nice deep dent there that stays even after he takes his thumb away* “–do this, and it just shows how much fluid you got. Now, you need to lose weight, drastically, and after you lost 30 to 50 kilograms, you can come back, and we’ll see how you feel.”

Me: “What? You just said… You just said that losing weight…”

Doctor: “Yes, but you need to lose weight! Get a dog or a husband, and you’ll be busy enough to forget about food! To lose weight, you should stop eating those sugary snacks, and the sugary fruit, and all those carbs, and eat more red meat and poultry! But remember, you cannot have too much protein!”

Me: *stares, not believing what I just heard* “Uh… okay? But what about compression stockings, and the MLD?”

Doctor: “Yeah, you see, I am not going to prescribe you that. You can lose weight with a good diet, and then you won’t have those symptoms anymore.”

Me: “You said lip-edema cannot be starved off… and I’m really in pain from the lymph-edema and the fluid build up. At least to help with that?”

Doctor: “Yes, but it is not worth either my time, nor the money, nor the effort to prescribe any of that if you can just lose weight, and forget about it!”

Me: *getting up, feeling like I’m in the twilight zone right now* “All right…”

(I left after that, and met with my family physician, who stared at me, called the health insurance company to complain about that doctor, prescribed me the lymph drainage and compression stockings, gave me a pamphlet about a specialised clinic for my lipo/lymph-edema, and filled out forms to get me a spot there for a three week “rehab.” He also told me to eat “normally/healthily,” since, you guessed it, lip-edema cannot be starved off.)

[florida80]

A Very Testing Medical Appointment

Australia, Doctor/Physician, Ignoring & Inattentive, Medical Office | | Healthy | May 9, 2019


Doctor: “This next test is very dangerous for fetuses, so we need to test and make sure you’re not pregnant first.”

Me: “I’m not pregnant.”

Doctor: “Well, sometimes people don’t know that they are.”

Me: “Didn’t we just establish that I have a birth control insert in place to control my period?”

Doctor: “Those aren’t 100% reliable. We need a test.”

Me: “I’m not sexually active. At all. Ever.”

Doctor: *suddenly perplexed* “But you have an insert.”

Me: “Because without it I bled for ten weeks straight out of every twelve for two years. Because I have POCS. Which is why we just spent half this appointment reviewing my last blood results.”

Doctor: “Oh. Right. I forgot.”

Me: “So, can we move onto that test now?”

Doctor: “Which test were you thinking of?”

Me: “…”

Doctor: “…”

Me: “I’m your last appointment at the end of your shift, aren’t I?”

Doctor: *surprised* “How could you possibly know that?”

[florida80]

Doesn’t Have An Eye For This Job

Doctor/Physician, Ignoring & Inattentive, Ireland, Vet | | Healthy | May 8, 2019


My friends found a kitten when stuck in traffic a few years ago. He had a very badly infected eye, and after adopting him we opted to have it removed; the lid was stitched shut over the socket, and apart from some minor depth perception issues it never bothered him in the slightest in the three years he lived afterward. He was famous among friends, family, and neighbours for being the one-eyed tabby cat, so it was pretty obviously gone.

We always saw the same vet for every appointment and surgery, until his last yearly checkup and vaccinations. The vet we saw was either newly-trained or inexperienced, but fairly competent at what she did because that cat was never as quiet during a check-up!

Everything was going fine; weight was optimal, good overall condition, no unusual lumps or bumps, clean ears and teeth, right eye perfect… and then she tried to open his sewn-shut eyelid.

She was very apologetic to humans and cat alike upon realising her mistake. He was used to kids poking at him, but it still makes me giggle to think of her not noticing his one distinguishing feature.

[florida80]

A Stroke Of Bad Luck

Albany, Bad Behavior, Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Oregon, USA | | Healthy | May 8, 2019


(While clocking into work, I unexpectedly suffer a stroke. I am a 35-year-old school bus driver and I do not take illegal drugs or drink alcohol. As the EMTs bring me into the ER, the doctor asks what my condition is.)

EMT: “She’s having a stroke.”

Doctor: “Nonsense. She’s too young. How old is she?”

EMT: “35.”

Doctor: “See, too young. Must be a drug overdose.”

EMT: “No, do the FAST test. Face; her smile is crooked. Arms; her left side is paralyzed. Speech; her words are slurred. Time; we got her here in time. Give her clot busters to break up the blood clot causing her stroke.”

Doctor: *angrily* “You’re just an EMT! I say it’s a drug overdose!”

(The EMTs leave, and the doctor turns to me, yelling.)

Doctor: “What drugs did you take?!”

Me: *slurred because the left side of my face and tongue are not working* “I can hear you fine; you don’t have to yell. I took some Nyquil last night for a cold.”

Doctor: *sarcastically* “Nyquil?! More like Meth!” *to nurse* “I need a meth overdose kit here!”

Me: *trying to yell back at him* “I. Don’t. Take. Drugs.”

Nurse: *reluctantly bringing kit* “Are you sure? She shows classic stroke signs.”

(As the doctor gets an overdose injection ready, my husband enters the room, having met and talked to the EMTs in the ambulance bay as they were leaving.)

Husband: “Stop. Don’t touch her again.”

Doctor: *sputtering* “She’s obviously a drug addict. I’m giving her the best treatment for that.”

Husband: “And you’re obviously an idiot.”

(My husband and the doctor are circling my gurney during this exchange. The doctor is trying to stay out of my husband’s reach.)

Husband: *to nurse* “Please call for an ambulance; I want her treated at [Hospital ten miles away]. Not by him.” *points at the doctor*

(The doctor practically sprints from room.)

Nurse: *to husband* “I thought you were gonna kill him. I kind of wish you had caught him.”

(The same EMTs returned. As they were loading me into the ambulance they told my husband that they told that doctor I was having a stroke, but he’s kind of a know-it-all a**hole and they were glad I would be treated somewhere else. I was greeted at the other ER by a neurologist with clot-busting drugs at the door. He says that, luckily, that delay won’t impact my recovery

[florida80]

Insults Are Free!

Jerk, Patients, Pennsylvania, Pets & Animals, Philadelphia, USA, Vet | | Healthy | May 8, 2019


I am a relatively new veterinarian. Often, we will get a case come in as ADR — Ain’t Doing Right — which is to say they are acting a bit off, but not always obvious what is wrong. I have an ADR older golden retriever come in with Mom and Son. They give the history: the dog has been losing weight, not eating well, lethargic, and having dark stools for a few weeks. This dog also has a history of ear problems. The last time we saw the dog was over two years ago. They have limited funds, so I try to work on a step-by-step diagnostic to try to get the most information before determining if more diagnostics are needed.

Starting with the physical exam: the dog is severely muscle wasted, lethargic — as they said — and dehydrated, and he has a new heart murmur. After discussing with Mom, we decide to start with bloodwork. It comes up with some very mild liver changes, but nothing too noteworthy. We are at the upper point of their budget, so I discuss my next recommendation of chest x-rays and what we would do depending on what we found, quoting them the costs for everything before anything is performed. They agree to the x-rays, and unfortunately, the x-rays show possible heart enlargement, but again nothing too exciting. So, they agree to try a heart medication, subcutaneous fluids, and an anti-emetic and see how the dog responds. It’s worth noting there were additional tests I would have liked to do, but I didn’t want to stretch their budget too much further.

A few days later, the dog isn’t improving on the heart meds, so I recommend an abdominal ultrasound — at a different vet — to better evaluate the gastrointestinal tract and surrounding organs. Unfortunately, the ultrasound looks like liver cancer, which I am very surprised by given how mild the blood work was.

I receive a request to contact the Father when I return to work the day after the ultrasound. I give him a call back, assuming he wants to discuss further treatment and prognosis. Boy, was I wrong.

Turns out he just wants to spend ten minutes telling me I am a crook, only in it for the money, and don’t care about animals. He continues to tell me that I took advantage of his wife and his upset son, and had them spend more money than they were willing. He rails that the dog was coming in for an ear infection, and I had them do a bunch of unnecessary tests. Any time I try to interject, either to explain my findings and recommendations as he wasn’t there, or to confirm what he thinks happened at the appointment, he simply talks over me, stating he doesn’t care what justifications I have and that “[he] is onto [my] game.” It continues until I am crying against the wall and finally have permission from the practice owner to hang up on him.

The fun part: he calls right back to have my receptionist tell me I am an a**hole. I still have to talk to his (much nicer) wife to answer her questions, and I almost can’t bring myself to do it. As of now, I refuse to discuss anything further with the Father

[florida80]

Broken History

Denmark, Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Patients | | Healthy | May 7, 2019


(I fall outside my front door. I still can’t walk on my ankle two days later, and given my rather unfortunate history with broken bones, my parents decide to take me to the hospital to have it x-rayed. I am pretty sure it isn’t broken but better safe than sorry. I have it x-rayed and the doctor comes in with the x-ray picture. She puts it on the wall where we can all see it.)

Doctor: “I don’t think that it is broken, but it is a little hard to tell with all the previous fractures. I sent it to a specialist, just to make sure. If it is broken, we will call you tomorrow.”

Mother: “[My Name] has fortunately only had greenstick fractures so far!”

Doctor: *looks at the big, obvious nick on my bone, then looks at my mum* “No.”

(I cracked up, and the doctor pointed the old break out to my mum. I’d had another fall six months before, but I didn’t bother going to the hospital because I have my own crutches and bandages at home. I had thought it was just a sprain, but apparently not. My ankle was not broken this time, but my parents now take me to the hospital if there’s the slightest chance something is broken.)

[florida80]

Would Face-Palm If You Weren’t Paralyzed

Extra Stupid, Friends, Hospital, Non-Dialogue, Patients, UK | | Healthy | May 7, 2019


My daughter is in the ICU suffering from Guillain-Barré syndrome. She is totally paralysed from her eyes to the tips of her toes, being made to breathe via a tracheotomy and a bank of syringe drivers automatically delivering an assortment of high-strength pain relief. A friend comes to visit and I warn her that my daughter is suffering from a bad headache today.

“Oh,” she says, “Have they given her anything for it?”

Both the nurse and I have to look away. Duh!

[florida80]

His Advice Is Neutral At Best

Canada, Doctor/Physician, Ignoring & Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Manitoba, Vet, Winnipeg | | Healthy | May 6, 2019


(We have had our cat, Fritz, since he was a tiny kitten, and he’s always seen the same vet. One day, when Fritz is around eight years old, he starts spraying urine against furniture instead of going in his box. Knowing that this could be a symptom of something serious – besides being annoying and gross – I promptly make an appointment for him to see his vet.)

Vet: “Well, we’ve examined his urine for crystals, and he doesn’t have any. That can mean only one thing.” *stares at me accusingly*

Me: *after an expectant pause* “Yes?”

Vet: “You need to get him neutered. Honestly, I don’t know why you haven’t done so yet. He’s eight years old; he should have been neutered years ago.”

Me: “But–”

Vet: “No, I’m serious. This sort of spraying activity is very common in an unneutered male, and–”

Me: “But he is neutered.”

Vet: “What?”

Me: “In fact, you’re the one who did it. We had it done right after we got him from the Humane Society. It should be in his file.”

Vet: *looks at the start of the file* “Oh.”

Me: “So, something else must be causing this behaviour, right?”

Vet: *still processing the fact that he was wrong about Fritz not being fixed* “Well… are there any new cats in the neighbourhood?”

Me: “Come to think of it, yes. Our neighbour across the back lane just got a new cat. Fritz sometimes sees him through the window and hisses at him.”

Vet: “Well, there you go.” *looks at me triumphantly*

Me: “Um, what do you mean?”

Vet: “Fritz is antagonized by that new cat. He’s spraying to assert his dominance in his own home.”

Me: “Okay, so… What do I do?”

Vet: “Do? There’s nothing you can do. Apart from moving, that is!” *laughs*

(Very helpful. I started looking for a new vet after that.)

[florida80]

Needs A Diagnosis That’s A Breath Of Fresh Air

Houston, Jerk, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, Nurses, Texas, USA | | Healthy | May 6, 2019


(I’ve always had asthma, but I usually only have issues when exercising and breathing very cold air. However, I have an event where I can’t identify a trigger and the breathing problems last for a long time. I go to the emergency room, I am told it was a panic attack and I am sent home. When things don’t clear up, I go to the school clinic where they say it’s my asthma – not a spasm like I am used to, but inflammation – and give me medication. Things clear up. Then, less than a month later, I take an overseas trip. On the flight back I catch a fever and start having stomach issues. A few days later I have to switch out with my father when driving because I don’t feel like I can both drive and focus on breathing. Because it is only a little after New Year’s, my mom doesn’t think our GP can fit us in quickly enough, so we head to an emergency clinic. Our new insurance only allows us to go to one chain in the area, and it’s thirty minutes away. There isn’t a doctor available, so we confirm we are fine with seeing the head nurse. I’m used to journaling some aspects of my health due to things like adult-onset allergies, and have written specifics of the start and stop of the symptoms in a notebook, along with details from the other attack. Sometimes I also have difficulty speaking because I’m focusing on my breathing.)

Mom: “She’s been having trouble breathing. We were here a couple of days ago because she had a stomach bug.”

Nurse: “Can you describe when this started?”

Me: “Um, I noticed I had to focus to breathe. I was really aware of my breathing. It started last night, I guess? Um… I wrote it down, if it’s easier.”

(I hand her the notebook. She looks through it, but she looks skeptical.)

Nurse: “Okay, I know what’s going on here. Honey, you’re having a panic attack.”

Me: “I don’t think it’s a panic attack! It happened before around a month ago. I have asthma—“

Nurse: “The emergency guys thought that was a panic attack, too. Listen, I know you don’t want to hear this, but this is in your brain.”

(This sets me off for multiple reasons, one of which being that I DO have anxiety, but it is controlled and not the kind that results in panic attacks. Another reason is that I’ve been misdiagnosed with “stress pains” by my father’s urologist – checking for kidney stones – when we later found out I had some muscle issues in that area that were easily taken care of with physical therapy. I should also note my mother has been making some comments, but I can’t exactly remember them. She’s mostly worried.)

Me: “But the other doctor said it was asthma! I’ve had people dismiss things like this before. But when it was checked out by someone else they found something. I have anxiety, but I don’t get those! I don’t have this problem!”

Nurse: “So, you just keep going to doctors until they say what you want to hear. But I’m telling you, this is a panic attack. You said in your notes that talking is difficult, but you’re talking fine now. You seem fine. You just need to accept this. Maybe call your therapist or psychiatrist.”

(She ends the appointment. I am pretty hysterical once we return home. I have been well functioning for years and even though I don’t believe the nurse, she put the idea in my head that I wasn’t as well off as I thought. I should also note that my mom is of the generation that often writes things off as stress, and she seems to be taking the nurse’s side, or at least playing devil’s advocate, adding to my stress. I blubber to my mom and eventually my psychiatrist’s hotline. [Psychiatrist] quickly writes a prescription for anxiety, but is very firm in telling me that most of her patients don’t end up using it and that often having it in their possession helps. She also says that if I feel I need it to only take half and assess how I feel. Honestly, I don’t feel any different. Later, my mom apologizes that she helped upset me and calls our GP.)

Mom: “[Doctor] made an opening for you tomorrow… Guess what she said, though, when I told her everything that happened.”

Me: “What?”

Mom: “In her experience, asthmatics usually have panic attacks because they can’t f****** breathe.”

(My GP gave me a steroid inhaler and I started breathing better in a few days. I later went to my asthma and allergy doctor and found out that I have a new severe allergy to dust mites, something that aggravates asthma. F*** you, nurse.)

[florida80]

We Are Literally Off The Charts

Bizarre, Doctor/Physician, Emergency Room, Hospital, USA, Wisconsin | | Healthy | May 6, 2019


(My father is experiencing severe vertigo, to the point where he can’t even crawl. We are in the ER waiting for his turn at the MRI. My dad is a large man with a beard. A doctor we don’t recognize walks into the room and stops short.)

Doctor: “Um…” *looks at his chart, then at Dad, then at my mom and me* “ Mrs. [Wrong Name]?”

Me: “I think you have the wrong room.”

Doctor: “I think you might be right; none of you look like you’re in labor right now.”

(We all laugh with him over his mistake and he leaves. Dad gets his MRI and is wheeled back in while we wait for the results. The same doctor comes in again.)

Doctor: “Let’s try this again, Mr. [Different Wrong Name]?”

Mom: “Nope.”

Doctor: “Nail through the foot?”

Me: “Wrong room again.”

Doctor: “D*** it. How…?”

(He checks the chart in his hands, then runs out and checks the room number.)

Doctor: “Somebody put the wrong room on the chart.”

(He runs off to find his patient. A while later, the ER doctors have run all the tests they can on Dad and still can’t find a cause. They’ve tentatively diagnosed him with a viral infection and have given him instructions for follow-up. Unfortunately, there is a multi-car pile-up and they suddenly get so busy they can’t spare anyone long enough to do the discharge paperwork. We do our best to stay out of the way. The same doctor comes in again, looks at his chart, then face-palms.)

Doctor: “Okay, none of you are a teenage girl with a broken pelvis! What the h***?!”

Mom: “We’re just such fun people that you’re making excuses to come hang out with us!”

Doctor: *laughing* “That must be it! Right!”

(I know he must have been frustrated, but I think he needed the comic relief as much as we did on that stressful night.)

[florida80]

The Family Tree Is Looking A Bit Sickly

Bizarre, Doctor/Physician, Medical Office, Minnesota, Patients, USA | Healthy | May 5, 2019


(I’ve got a new doctor and am giving them the rundown on my family history.)

Doctor: “I see on your form that you checked ‘yes’ to all the diseases we have listed. They all run in your family?”

Me: “Yes. I have a very large family and at least one of them has or had at least one of those diseases.”

Doctor: “Even [rare cancer]?”

Me: “Grandma died of it.”

Doctor: “Huh. Who in your family had [disease]?”

Me: “Two of my great aunts on my dad’s side, and my uncle on my mother’s side.”

Doctor: “And your family’s history of cancer… says ‘all’?”

Me: “Doctors never really believe me, but all the cancers you have listed there? Yeah, when I add up my mother’s side of the family and my father’s side, it’s all there.”

Doctor: *open-mouthed shock* “Wow.”

Me: “I get that reaction from doctors a lot.”

(For reference, my grandmother was one of nine kids, my other grandmother was one of eleven, and all of their kids had at least five kids. It’s a big family, and they’ve all had some kind of major medical issue in the past, and most of them work in the medical field. I just tell doctors to check everything when they ask what runs in the family. It saves time.)

[florida80]

Some People Just Can’t Stick Around

Bad Behavior, Blood Donation, Jerk, Nurses, USA | Healthy | May 4, 2019


(I’m a frequent blood donor. I have large, easy veins, don’t flinch or get queasy around blood or needles, and am known at the clinic, so I often get the least experienced workers. Sometimes the new, nervous ones aren’t the best, but I figure practice makes perfect, and their mistakes — like not being gentle or having a bad angle on the needle — don’t bother me. Usually.)

Tech: “Hi. I’m [Tech] and I’m going to be drawing your blood today.” *continues with the standard script and questions* “Have you donated blood with us before?”

Me: “A few dozen times; I’m here every eight weeks on the dot. How long have you been at [Clinic]?”

Tech: “Today is my first day!”

Me: “Well, congratulations! I’ll make your job really easy, then. I’m well hydrated and have nice, big veins for you.”

(The tech starts prepping the bag and needle, muttering the steps to herself. She somehow manages to poke herself with the needle.)

Tech: “Oh, shoot, I need to go and dispose of this and reglove.”

Me: “No worries. I’m in no rush. Take your time.”

(The tech comes back, looking slightly pale and panicked. I try to smile at her, but she just seems to be getting progressively more flustered. She tries to stick my vein and misses.)

Tech: “Oh, I’m so sorry. Can I try again?”

Me: *smiling again* “Of course, take a few deep breaths and try again.”

(The tech tries again. And again. Then, she drops the needle and has to get another other. The whole time, I’m trying to calm her down as she seems to be upset with herself.)

Me: “Now, I know I’m not officially trained, but I’ve had a lot of needles stuck in me. Slow down a bit. Breath deeply a few times. The vein is right there. You can do this.”

Tech: *mutters quietly but rapidly under her breath while getting paler*

(She tries to stick me three more times, somehow missing my vein every time. Her hands are shaking and she appears on the verge of tears.)

Me: “Hey, it’s okay. This is a tough job. Why don’t we call over one of the more experienced nurses?”

Tech: “No, no, no, I can do this. Really.”

(She proceeds to stick me five more times, at worse and worse angles. I’m slowly losing patience with her. She’s now trying to stick me with a needle that is practically perpendicular to my arm. She still hasn’t been able to actually hit my vein. What is usually a twenty-minute deal has taken almost an hour.)

Me: “Okay. Get a nurse now. They can help you out.”

Tech: “No!”

(She then rather aggressively jams the needle into my arm, hitting a nerve and nowhere near a vein. I swear like a sailor and rip the needle out of my arm.)

Me: “Listen up. I have been beyond patient here. Get me a d*** nurse. Now.”

Tech: “They’re all busy right now!”

Me: “Okay, fine. F*** it.”

(I then insert the needle into my own vein in one go. The tech looks stunned.)

Me: “Hook up the collection bag and then get me a nurse and get the h*** away from me.”

Tech: *in a shrill voice* “You can’t do that! You can’t! You can’t!”

(The head nurse hears the commotion and comes over.)

Nurse: “What is going on over here? [My Name], why are you still here? I checked you in an hour ago!”

Me: “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, [Nurse].”

(The tech was never seen at that clinic again.)

[florida80]

Groundhog Dad

California, Health & Body, Hospital, Parents/Guardians, Patients, USA | Healthy | May 3, 2019


(My boyfriend and I are woken up by a phone call at six am from his 15-year-old sister saying, “Something is wrong with Dad; you need to get to the hospital.” We live 100 miles away, so I tell my boyfriend to go now and I will pack a few things and meet him up there. When I get up there I find out he has hydrocephalus, or water on the brain, which is a fairly rare disorder that typically happens to infants and people over 60. My boyfriend’s father is 47. It causes fluid to build up and put pressure on the brain. They release the pressure by removing parts of his skull. The next day, a nurse is in with him and my boyfriend’s mom comes out to talk to us.)

Mom: “They think he’s going to be okay, but right now we either have to sit with him or they have to restrain him. Otherwise, he might hurt himself; he can’t remember what is going on. Can you go sit with him for a while? I need a break.”

(We agree and go in.)

Boyfriend: “Hi, Dad!”

Dad: “Hi… Where am I?”

Boyfriend: “You’re in the hospital; you’re going to be fine. You just got sick and the doctors are going to help you.”

Dad: “Well, that was mighty inconvenient of me.”

Boyfriend: *laughing* “Just a touch.”

(My boyfriend’s father’s head starts to dip and his eyes slide to the side and become unfocused. Then, his head comes back up and he sees us and smiles.)

Dad: “Hi, guys! What are you doing here? Wait. Where am I?”

Boyfriend: *trying not to cry* “Hi, Dad. You’re in the hospital; you’re going to be fine.”

Dad: *laughing* “Well, that was mighty inconvenient of me.”

(Then, his head starts to dip. My boyfriend and I look at each other, both of us trying not to cry.)

Dad: “Hi, guys! What are you doing here?”

(I step over to his bed and take his hand.)

Me: “Hi, Dad. You had a small accident you’re going to be fine.”

(We stayed with him for a couple of hours having the same conversation. I had seen short-term memory loss on TV but thought it was an exaggeration. It’s not. Thankfully, he really was, overall, okay.)

[florida80]

Talking Complete Bull-imia

Chile, Dentist, Jerk, Santiago | Healthy | May 3, 2019


(I have recently changed my dentist. I’m 30 and I have never had any cavities before, but I go to a consult since I notice something weird in two of my teeth. I suspect they are cavities but they don’t hurt or bother me at all, and I don’t know what cavities look like.)

Dentist: “You have four cavities! What a disaster!”

Me: “Well, it’s the first four in 30 years.”

Dentist: “This looks so bad! We need x-rays!”

Me: “I’d have come earlier but they didn’t hurt and they look very small, so it took me a while to notice them.”

Dentist: “Four cavities! This is insane! Are you bulimic?”

Me: “No.”

Dentist: “You sure? It clearly looks like bulimia.”

Me: “I’m not bulimic. I’m not alcohol abusive, either; I barely ever throw up.”

(The doctor doesn’t believe me, and sends me to do the x-rays. I come back to have the cavities fixed.)

Dentist: “Are you sure you don’t throw up? This amount of cavities is not normal!”

(By then, I feel filthy. I don’t throw up and I brush my teeth, but the big deal she is making makes it look like I am her worst case in years. She fixes my cavities, which are all very superficial, and I go home pretty worried and thinking about buying a different mouthwash, toothbrush, and toothpaste. My boyfriend is having some friends over and I tell them what happened.)

Friend: “Four in your life? I get four cavities removed every time I go to the dentist!”

Boyfriend: “You can’t see them because they are in the back of my mouth, but I’ve had several big fixes.”

(The following day, two of my four fixes fall out while I’m brushing my teeth. I go to have them re-fixed. The dentist keeps telling me to suck it up, still implying I have an eating disorder. The remaining two fall out within a month, but this time I go to a different professional. I’m already expecting to get yelled at for my poor dental condition.)

Dentist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Hi, darling! You look good! Let’s fix these, shall we?”

(She is now my usual dentist.)

[florida80]

Eye Don’t Understand What’s Happening Here

Doctor/Physician, Jerk, Kentucky, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | May 3, 2019


(I wear contacts, and I’ve had problems seeing when using my contacts for a while now. It has finally gotten to the point where I can’t stand it and go to the eye doctor to get my prescription checked. A student does the actual exam and finds my new prescription, and I can already tell a difference. She leaves and the actual doctor comes in.)

Doctor: *takes a look at the paperwork the student completed* “Well, it looks like your prescription stayed the same, so you can just order some more of the same contacts.”

Me: *shocked* “Really? I’ve been having double vision and I can’t focus my eyes at a close range very well.”

Doctor: “Nope, it’s the same. Are you sure you’re having problems?”

Me: “Yes, I’ve also been getting headaches from straining my eyes to focus.”

Doctor: *repeats the exam TWICE to find my eye prescription* “Well, I found the same thing she did, which is a slight decrease in prescription in your right eye. This is very unusual since eyesight doesn’t normally get better with time, so I think your prescription should stay the same.”

(We go back and forth a few times; I keep insisting that I need a change. It’s very unusual for me to advocate for myself this much, but I really can’t take the eye strain anymore so I KNOW I can’t stay with the same prescription. He finally agrees to let me try the lower prescription on a trial and come back in two weeks to see how I like it. The trial contacts have to be ordered by the receptionist, and I notice the doctor go around and point to the screen and tell her to “order these instead,” but I don’t think anything of it. I go back in a week when they come in. The receptionist hands me the trial contacts and I have a look at the prescription number.)

Me: *confused and irritated look on my face*

Receptionist: “Is something wrong? You look confused.”

Me: “These are supposed to be trial contacts for a new prescription. Why are they the same as my current contacts?”

Receptionist: *takes the contacts back, looks at her computer and back at the contacts, and starts getting flustered* “Um, I don’t know. Let me look at this…”

(She eventually got a different doctor in the practice to come to look at my file. The other doctor took one look at my file, immediately went to get me the correct contacts — which DIDN’T have to be ordered — and told me to come back and see her instead of the first doctor. At my appointment with her, she told me that my prescription should actually be even lower than the first doctor prescribed. The only conclusion I can come up with is that the first doctor didn’t believe me and was trying to trick me into staying with the same prescription, twice! [Doctor], why was it so hard for you to believe I couldn’t see?!)

[florida80]

A Shot Of Humanity

Awesome, Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Nurses, USA | Healthy | May 2, 2019


(I have a serious phobia of needles due to a traumatic incident when I was a child, and because of this I always need someone present with me to cope with the situation. I am due to have very minor surgery on my arm, but I will need two needles during the operation. My boyfriend schedules off to go with me, but on the day of, he is called into work. I can’t cancel or I will incur a large fee, so I decide to tough it out and go. When I am called into the room, the nurse starts asking me questions, and I let her know that I have a phobia of needles. As soon as she leaves the room I enter into hysterics. I end up calling a friend, and he calms me down by the time the doctor returns with the nurse. They keep my friend on speaker, the nurse holds my hand, and they all keep me laughing so much I don’t have time to cry. These are just some of my favorite moments from the hour-long procedure.)

Doctor: “You’re telling me you’re getting birth control, but you’re afraid of a little prick?”

(Another moment…)

Friend: “You still alive over there?”

Me: “I sure hope so. Is everything going all right?”

Doctor: “Oh, you’ll know something’s wrong when you hear me walk out the door saying, ‘I am not dealing with that paperwork today.’”

(Another moment…)

Me: *to nurse* “Is it really bad?”

Nurse: “Don’t ask me, I’m not looking! Why do you think I need to hold your hand?!”

(Another moment…)

Me: “Thank you so much for being so nice to me. I know, as an adult, I should be able to handle this all by now. I know it’s not logical; I just work myself up and go into hysterics.”

Doctor: “And while you were in the room with me, you didn’t cry once. Sometimes it’s not your fault that you’re scared. Sometimes it’s the fault of the people around you for not knowing how to make you feel safe.”

(I can’t thank those three enough for not only making a terrible experience into a great memory, but for helping relieve some of the self-hatred I had due to my phobia. If I ever need a shot again, I know exactly where I want to go!)

[florida80]

Bringing Your Emergency To The Emergency Room

Doctor/Physician, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, Non-Dialogue, USA | Healthy | May 2, 2019


A standard practice in the US is for pharmacies to call physicians for refills on prescriptions, not patients. If there are issues with getting refills, the physician’s office will contact the patient for a visit.

I’m currently seeing a new physician who I’m not happy with, but the waitlist is two months long to see a different doctor. I’ve found that this doctor doesn’t listen and doesn’t seem to take mental health issues seriously. She tried to switch my medications — without telling me — despite the fact that I’ve been stable on this medication for over five years. She also accused me of faking foot pain, despite evidence that I had an untreated break in my foot two years ago which didn’t heal well, and tried to convince me to get unnecessarily invasive tests at a specialist clinic for no reason. She also made me get tested for Hepatitis and HIV because I have tattoos — which are all over a year old — even though I just had those tests done two months prior as part of my regular checkup with my old doctor, which was in my medical record.

I’m on a mental health medication known for terrible withdrawal symptoms after just one missed dose. It’s very important that I take it every single day. I notice that I am out of refills, so I notify my pharmacy and they send out a refill request. It is denied because I still have a month left. I have the pharmacy send in another refill request two weeks later. The doctor doesn’t respond. The pharmacy contacts me, saying there were some issues and they can’t get a refill. I call my doctor’s office. They say they will have my doctor send in a refill that day. Still no refill and no request for an appointment. I call again two days later, still nothing. I now have less than a week left. I call every day for the rest of the week, still nothing. On Saturday morning, I’m tired and scared because I’m out of medication and don’t have any refills. I decide to go to the ER because it’s the closest place open on a weekend; there are two urgent care centers but one isn’t open on weekends and the other doesn’t have someone who can write prescriptions working that day.

I go into the ER and explain my issue. I’m clearly not having an emergency, but thankfully there are no other patients that morning and they’re able to write me a one-week prescription and send me on my way in under thirty minutes. While I’m at the ER, I’m clearly frustrated but grateful for the lovely doctor and nurse who are assisting me. The nurse gives me a giant hug and a chocolate muffin from the break room, and both the doctor and the nurse file a report against my doctor.

Monday morning at eight am, I get a call from my doctor’s boss. She saw on my chart that I had an ER visit for the sole purpose of getting a medication refill and wanted to know why. I explained the situation, and also mentioned being worried that I couldn’t afford an ER bill because emergency room visits aren’t covered under my insurance if they’re not considered an actual emergency, such as a broken limb.

A few days later, I check my insurance claims to see what my ER bill is going to be, expecting a bill of at least $2,000 out-of-pocket. My entire ER bill has been comped, as well as my past visits with the terrible doctor. I end up paying $0 for the entire debacle. I also get a three-month refill instead of one month, and it is also comped instead of the usual $45 per month.

I have since found a new physician, but at the same clinic because they went so far above and beyond to correct one doctor’s mistakes.

[florida80]

Has A Bad Ring(worm) To It

Bad Behavior, Doctor/Physician, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, Non-Dialogue, USA | Healthy | May 2, 2019


When I was very young, my family lived in a rural area where we only had access to one clinic that took our health insurance. While we could have driven into the city — about three hours — if there had ever been a situation that the clinic couldn’t handle or if we’d needed a special consultation, for the most part, my parents stuck with the local clinic. The clinic was very small; I don’t believe that there were ever more than four doctors on staff, and most of them were not there full time. Although the clinic tried to hire doctors who practiced family medicine — so they could see all ages of patients — there was one pediatrician on staff, and because of this, my brother and I were just automatically sent to him, as were most kids in our area. He often rushed through appointments and was impatient when my parents had questions, although since my brother and I were generally healthy kids, our family didn’t have too many issues with him… until I was four.

When I was four, I developed a strange rash on my neck, back, and legs. My mom took me to the clinic, where the pediatrician took one look and said that I had ringworm. He prescribed a salve, an oral antifungal medication, and an antifungal shampoo, since the rash on my neck was near my hairline and ringworm can cause permanent hair loss if it develops on your scalp. I was on the medication for over a month before the symptoms subsided, and we thought that it was over… until I had another rash a few months after that. And a few months after that. The doctor kept prescribing the same regime every time. I was miserable because the oral medication messed up my stomach, and my parents were driving themselves crazy trying to sanitize anything that I ever came into contact with to hopefully prevent a recurrence and to avoid my brother getting infected.

This happened about four times over the course of two years; although my parents asked if there could possibly be something else going on, since ringworm is not supposed to be a chronic condition, the doctor blew them off every time and essentially told them not to question his authority, since he’d gone to school for this and they hadn’t. He was very condescending, and when my parents asked for advice, he’d just repeat stuff about hygiene and washing up. My parents had actually just decided to take me into the city for a second opinion if I had another rash when the usual doctor stepped down and we got a new one.

My parents brought my brother and me in for our flu shots, and the new doctor noticed the beginnings of the rash on my arm. He asked my parents about it, and they told him that they weren’t interested in putting me on the same antifungals since they clearly weren’t working and were just making me miserable. He was confused and asked why I’d be on antifungals for eczema. A couple of quick tests confirmed that he was correct, that I definitely didn’t have ringworm, and instead of multiple infections, I had one condition that flared up every few months. I got a prescription for an anti-inflammatory cream, and the doctor suggested that my mom change our laundry detergent, and then the rash was handled. But that wasn’t the end of the story.

The new doctor checked my file and confirmed that the old doctor hadn’t done any testing to diagnose me the first time — no black-light test, no biopsies or cultures, nothing — and had just marked that it visually presented as ringworm. Each subsequent time I came in, the old doctor stuck to that rather than reassess. After that, my parents requested a copy of my file, and then saw the notes that the old doctor had made, which basically amounted to him complaining about working with dirty, poor, uneducated families who couldn’t keep their kids clean. He hadn’t bothered to do any further testing when my parents told him that they’d complied with all his suggestions for how to make sure that I didn’t catch “ringworm” again, because he just assumed that anyone who lived in our rural area must be a dumb, ignorant hick who couldn’t really value hygiene.

My parents were furious. We later learned that he had been asked to step down from his position in the clinic precisely because he’d had this attitude with most of the families who came into the clinic, and had said as much to one of the nurses, not realizing that a patient had overheard. One of the things he must not have realized about smaller communities like ours is that word spreads like wildfire. Dozens of families were suddenly requesting records for their children, and people found multiple stories like mine where the pediatrician diagnosed without testing, or made assumptions about families that impacted the way he handled their treatment. There was a community-wide effort to send complaints to the state medical board. I know that there was at least one successful lawsuit against him, and last I heard, that pediatrician’s license to practice medicine was revoked.

Meanwhile, our new doctor treated my eczema, saved my brother’s life during an allergic reaction, became a hero in our community for doing house calls, and has received state-wide recognition for being willing to go above and beyond for his patients.

[florida80]

Your Strong Opinion Is Not Strong Enough

Doctor/Physician, Hawaii, Honolulu, Jerk, Medical Office, Nurses, USA | Healthy | May 1, 2019


(My one-and-a-half-year-old needs a TB test — for the curious, it turns out negative. She’s always been very strong, and I know it’s going to be tricky to get her to hold still for the jab, so I offer to help the technician.)

Me: “She’s pretty strong; would you like me to help hold her?”

Tech: *eyes rolling and voice dripping with sarcasm* “I’m just sure she is. Every parent says that.”

Me: *stepping back* “Okay, have fun.”

(For the next few minutes, the tech finds himself unable to do the quick little jab because my daughter is able to fight him off. Finally, he admits defeat.)

Tech: “Could you hold her, please?”

Me: *sickly sweet* “I’d be happy to.”

(I wrapped my arms and legs around her tightly, and it was still a struggle, but the tech administered the test. If he’d just humored me instead of being condescending, it would have been much easier for him!)

[florida80]

Putting The Lying Into Lying Down

Bad Behavior, Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Logan, USA, Utah | Healthy | May 1, 2019


(I have epilepsy and have had several partial-complex seizures. I have been delivered by ambulance to the city hospital; unfortunately, the neurologist on call is one who I stopped seeing when he accused me of faking seizures in order to get attention, possibly because he is friendly with the neurologist who molested me when I was a teen.)

ER Nurse: “Her ID says she has epilepsy. We need to make sure she’s had her medication today.”

Neurologist: “There’s no need. She’s just being dramatic.” *to me* “[My Name]! Stop trying to make everyone feel sorry for you.” *to the nurse* “Give her some [anxiety medication]. She’ll tell you it gives her panic attacks; she’s a chronic liar. Just do it.”

(I am not sure what happens next, but I wake up in the darkened room alone. Confused and sick, I throw up in a trash bin and wander down an empty hall until I find an exit. I remember walking blankly until I find a street sign, then calling my sister and asking her to pick me up. About an hour later, I am home in bed when the phone rings and my mother answers.)

Caller: “This is [Caller] from [Hospital]. Your daughter was here earlier today. She isn’t currently in the room and hasn’t been seen in a few hours; would you like us to begin looking for her?”

Mother: “She’s with us now, and safe, no thanks to you.”

Caller: “Oh, okay. When can she come in to give us her billing information?”

(I did go back, with my parents… and a lawyer. He suggested that charging me for improper treatment that I had never consented to, and had been harmed by, might not be in their best interest. They dropped the bill. They also sent my mother flowers, which was weird.)

[florida80]

“Purely” Obnoxious

Bad Behavior, Doctor/Physician, Illinois, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | May 1, 2019


(I have been battling a lot of stomach pain and bloating. One day, it becomes unbearable. My regular doctor’s office is closed, so I go to Urgent Care. The doctor comes in and asks what my symptoms are. I’ve just finished describing them to her.)

Doctor: “And is there any chance you’re pregnant?”

Me: *laughs* “Nope. No chance.”

Doctor: “Don’t laugh, young lady. It’s a normal diagnosis for a young lady in her 20s.”

Me: “I understand that. But if I’m pregnant, you’d better start looking for a star, three wise men, and some shepherds.”

(I’ve used this joke with my regular doctor and my OBGYN, and they both laughed. This doctor, however, frowns and folds her arms.)

Doctor: “Uh-huh. Your chart says you’re on birth control. Tell me, what does a ‘virgin’ need birth control for?”

(Yes, she actually air-quotes “virgin” with her fingers. I explode.)

Me: “Because I have severe period problems, and I can’t afford to be in bed for two weeks a month with cramps and migraines! Not everyone who is on birth control does it so they can have sex! Way to assume things, though. Do you do this to all your female patients?”

Doctor: “Um… Let’s just check your stomach, shall we?”

Me: “Yes, please!”

(As she’s examining me:)

Doctor: “Ah… I think it’s really admirable to see a young lady in her 20s who is still… pure.”

Me: “Don’t try to make this better.”

Doctor: “Sorry.”

(She announced that she had no idea what I had, and sent me home with an antibiotic. I didn’t take it. I called my regular doctor when the office reopened. He ordered a bunch of tests. It was determined later that I had a nasty case of IBS.)

[florida80]

Vape Escape

England, Hampshire, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Non-Dialogue, Nurses, UK | Healthy | April 30, 2019


After getting mugged, which involved several kicks to the head, I came to in A&E a bit concussed but otherwise okay-ish.

I had been out for a few hours, and as a smoker, my nicotine levels were way down. I asked if I could use my vape as I’m allergic to the glue they use on most of the commercial patches. The answer was that an anti-allergenic patch would be provided. I ask what specific brand it is, as I am severely allergic to some.

A tech turns up and tapes a patch to my arm, complaining that this brand is awful for staying on.

It is ninety seconds from patch to, “Oops, we stopped your heart as part of the massive response to what you told us not to do.”

I’m now allowed to vape in bed if I can keep it discreet, or I can go down to a vape spot if there’s a nurse or someone willing to go with me. Given that half the medical staff are smokers, I’m proving popular.

[florida80]

When It’s The Healthcare That Gives Us The Blood Pressure

Insurance, New Jersey, Non-Dialogue, Patients, USA | Healthy | April 30, 2019


For an assortment of reasons, my husband has been unemployed for a while, outside of extremely short temp work and off-the-book odd jobs. For a while he has been having random symptoms: foot and ankle pain, shortness of breath after exertion — more than normal — and lower back pain. All together, they don’t seem to add up to anything aside from random aches and pains, they never stick around long, and without insurance, he can’t afford to see a doctor properly, so he just treats with aspirin and the like.

Finally, it happens: the Affordable Care Act is passed. He signs up and gets real health insurance for the first time in a decade. He’s assigned a primary care physician and we call to set up an appointment. No answer. We try again, and again, and again, at both the number listed on the insurance site and on their individual site. We never get an answer; we never even get voicemail. After a bit more than a month of this, he’s feeling ill; the local EMO doesn’t take the medicare-based version of his insurance, so we head to the hospital ER right down the street. He apologizes for coming for such a minor thing but we don’t have any other options at the time. They say it’s fine and after a wait, they take his vitals… and they immediately wheel him into the observation room. We’re trying desperately to get some actual information from the first nurse bringing him in, or the second nurse coming to hook him up to all their monitors.

Finally, a full doctor comes in and starts asking questions, but we interrupt and ask, specifically, why they are doing all this. She shows us the blood pressure monitor: 220/120. His BP has always been high, especially at the doctor’s/hospital because of “white coat syndrome,” but never that high! Somehow he never actually had a heart attack or stroke over the past several months, but that unrestrained pressure did a lot of damage to his kidneys. My husband is in the hospital for about ten days — although he was originally going to get out in six, one batch of test results gets messed up and they can’t run it again until the following Monday. When he leaves, he is on a prescription for about eight different heart and blood pressure medications, two of which are quickly dropped and two others cut in half once he gets home and can relax!

The bad news is that, because of the level of damage his kidneys have suffered, my husband’s on the verge of needing to go on the transplant list. The good news is that his heart has made a near-complete recovery, his prescriptions have been cut down further, and his kidney functions have actually improved to a point where he’s no longer hovering on the verge of failure!

And that’s why we say to this day, with no irony: thanks, Obama!

[florida80]

Sick As A Dog

Alberta, Canada, Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, Reception, Vet | Healthy | April 30, 2019


(My roommate works outside of the city, about an hour’s drive away. She decides that she wants to get a dog, and the other two roommates and I agree to help take care of it during the day when she’s away. On Monday, the dog is having some stomach trouble. We watch her closely but determine that she needs to go to the vet on Wednesday. My roommate contacts the vet to let them know that I will be bringing the dog by. I drop the dog off, and then return a few hours later when called to pick her up.)

Me: “Hello, I’m here to pick up [Dog] on behalf of [Roommate].”

Front Desk: “Great! She’ll need to take these pills for nausea.” *hands me the pills, and brings the dog out on a leash*

Me: “Has she had the pill for today? Is there anything I can or cannot feed it to her with?”

Front Desk: “I didn’t handle her case; let me get the vet.” *goes to the back, then returns a few minutes later* “I’m sorry, but the vet is with another patient right now. I’ll pull up her file, instead.” *pulls up the file on the computer* “It says that you need to keep an eye on her.”

Me: “What do you mean by ‘keep an eye on her’? What do I need to watch for? And does it say anything about the pill or the foods she shouldn’t have?”

Front Desk: “I can’t tell you that for privacy reasons. The vet has contacted your roommate; you’ll need to talk to her.”

Me: “My roommate is at work right now and might not be able to respond to calls or texts for a few hours. Could you at least let me know what I need to watch for over the next four hours until she’s home?”

Front Desk: “I can’t tell you about anything else on her file for privacy reasons.”

(Frustrated, I take the dog and start walking to my car. I realize that I have no way of knowing if she’ll be able to handle the ride home without an accident, as the vet hasn’t given me any information about what’s wrong or what they’ve given the dog. I turn around, go back into the clinic, and hand the leash back to the woman at the front desk.)

Me: “Here’s [Dog] back. Without knowing any more than I did when I brought her here, I don’t feel comfortable taking her home. I don’t know what she’s had, how to care for her, or what will happen when we get home. Frankly, I don’t know why you’re even releasing her to me if you don’t feel that I have the right to that information. You’ll need to contact [Roommate] to come and get her, if you can get a hold of her at work.”

(I texted my roommate to give her a heads up about the situation, including the name of the woman that I had dealt with at the front desk. Thankfully, she felt I’d made the right move leaving the dog at the clinic and was able to pick her up after work. She also contacted the clinic to express her anger about how they had handled everything, and had my name along with our other roommates’ added to the account.)

[florida80]

Your Diagnosis Is Broken

Denmark, Health & Body, Lazy/Unhelpful, Patients, School, Teachers | Healthy | April 29, 2019


(I have a fall during gym class when I am about ten years old. Because I have pretty brittle bones and very weak joints — but apparently not enough to warrant getting any kind of diagnosis — I instantly know that I have broken my arm. The fall was pretty minor; I was just running on the soft grass and fell down. I am crying and trying to explain to my teacher that I believe my arm to be broken.)

Me: “My arm hurts. I think it’s broken.”

Teacher: “It isn’t. You can’t break your arm from something so minor.”

(I explain that I have broken many bones before and that I know the feeling of a broken bone. I can tell she still doesn’t believe me, but she does send me down to the office. She doesn’t send anyone with me, though. I walk down there alone and crying, while my arm is swelling more and more. When I get to the office, I try to explain what happened to the secretary.)

Secretary: “Oh, no, what happened to you?”

Me: “I think I broke my arm. I fell out in the field while doing a running exercise.”

Secretary: “You didn’t fall from anything?”

Me: “No.”

Secretary: “It’s not broken, then. I’ll give you some ice for the arm, and then you’ll be better in no time!”

(I put the ice pack on my arm, but it still hurts. I sit and cry silently for about ten minutes in the corner. Even though I am normally very shy and not a fan of conflicts, I am also in a lot of pain. I approach the secretary again.)

Me: “Look. My arm really, really hurts, and the ice pack isn’t cold anymore. Would you please just call my mum?”

Secretary: “Fine! But your arm isn’t broken.”

(Neither of my parents answered their phones. I continued to sit and cry quietly while the secretary sent me sour looks. She finally got through to my dad, but he was delivering merchandise two hours away. My mum worked at another school pretty close to mine, so my dad suggested that the secretary should try to call my mum’s school. The secretary called my mum’s school and had their secretary fetch my mum. Over an hour had passed since I’d hurt my arm, but my mum obviously knew about my brittle bones and came to take me to the hospital within ten minutes of getting the call. My arm was, indeed, broken. When I told my mum of how my teacher and the secretary handled the situation, she was livid. Even though I was supposed to take a few days off after breaking my arm, my mum dragged me down to the principal next morning with my arm in a cast and sling. I told him my story, too, and both the teacher and the secretary got a stern talking-to about how to handle injured students and were asked to apologise to me. They did, and I hope they learnt something about listening to their students regarding their health. Never assume you know somebody’s body better than they do.

[florida80]

The Worst Possible Flea-ting Moment

California, Costa Mesa, Jerk, USA, Vet | Healthy | April 29, 2019


(I have a cocker spaniel with a lot of allergies and a skin condition that makes her very itchy. Her regular vet prescribes allergy shots for her. A few times we don’t get to see him but a newly-graduated vet who is working there temporarily. All she does every appointment is to try to refer us to specialists. She does this so much that we are starting to think she is getting kickbacks from them. One time, we get her when we are there for my dog’s allergy shot.)

Vet: “She’s just itchy because she has fleas.”

Mom & Me: “No, she doesn’t.”

Me: “I just checked her this morning. No fleas. And she’s had a bath.”

Vet: *rolling her eyes* “It’s just fleas. She doesn’t need an allergy shot.”

Mom: “Dr. [Regular Vet] prescribed them. We want her allergy shot.”

(We watch as a flea crawling on the vet herself jumps from her to my dog. The vet only sees the flea now.)

Vet: “I told you she had fleas!”

Mom: “We saw that flea crawling on you! Now, we want her allergy shot.”

(The vet continued to argue and tried once again to send us to a specialist, but we finally got the shot, only after a lot of huffing. Mom complained to the regular vet as soon as he was free and told him how this one was always trying to send us to specialists. He seemed rather angry with her when he heard this. We never saw her there again.)

[florida80]

Not Willing To Billing

Employees, Great Stuff, Ignoring & Inattentive, Insurance, Lazy/Unhelpful, USA | Healthy | April 29, 2019


(I have medications being filled on a 30-day supply. My insurance company requires me to call every month and verify that I do need the medicine and that my health panel — age, weight, allergies, etc. — is up to date. I made my call earlier this month, letting them know that I would be on vacation when the medications were scheduled to be delivered and asked if they would deliver without requiring a signature. The representative said it was fine and told me that my medicine would arrive while I was gone. I asked my sister to check on the house while I was gone, specifically mentioning the delivery and the rough timeline I was given. When I come home, she tells me that there have been no deliveries. I call my insurance company again.)

Representative #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “[Insurance], this is [Rep #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] speaking. Can I have your name and policy number, please?”

Me: “Hi, my name is [My Name]; my policy number is [number].”

Representative #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Okay, I have your account here. How can I help you?”

Me: “I was supposed to have some medicine delivered, but nothing has arrived.”

Representative #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Okay, I see here that we attempted to deliver on [date] but there was no one home to sign.”

Me: “I was told I could opt out of the signature because I was out of town.”

Representative #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “No.”

Me: “…”

Representative #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “…”

Me: “Can I get a new delivery scheduled?”

Representative #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “I can add you on today’s shipment and overnight the medication to you at no additional cost.”

Me: “That’s great!”

Representative #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Okay, I just have to verify your info.” *we go through the same questions I answer every month* “Everything looks good. This will go out today for delivery tomorrow, with a signature required.”

Me: “Thank you!”

(The next day, I’m home all day and nothing comes. Since our package deliveries can come as late as nine pm, I’m stuck waiting all day before I can call back. The day after my delivery was to arrive, I call again. I get a different representative.)

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “[Insurance], this is [Rep #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] speaking. Name and policy number?”

Me: “[My Name], [policy number].”

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Thank you, [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Me: “I spoke with [Representative #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] two days ago and was told I would have my medications delivered yesterday but nothing came.”

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Oh, I’m sorry about that. I see here that you tried to order [medication] on [date before vacation] and we tried to deliver but there was no one to sign.”

Me: “Yes. And I called again and was told it would be here yesterday.”

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “I’m not showing anything like that but we can ship– Oh, wait. There’s a hold on your account for unpaid copays.”

Me: “Unpaid copays? I’ve never received a bill.”

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “You should have received… two.”

Me: “I don’t think I did. Why was I not told of this hold when I called two days ago?”

(I open my online account to see past bills. There is nothing.)

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “I’m not sure, ma’am. I only see a bill for $243 that needs to be paid.”

Me: “I’m confused. I’ve met my out of pocket deductibles. What is the bill for?”

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “One moment, I can look that up for you.” *hold music* “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m having trouble finding the specific bill.”

Me: “…”

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “…”

Me: “So… what now?”

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “If you want to pay in full, I can have your order shipped as early as tomorrow.”

Me: “Um… I don’t even know why I’m paying.”

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “They’re unpaid copays.”

Me: “I’m looking at my online account and there’s nothing like that. How do I suddenly owe that much money?”

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Oh. Um. Hold, please.” *hold music* “Thank you for holding, ma’am. My supervisor is looking into this further. Unfortunately, we cannot authorize your medications until you pay your balance. I can take your credit card info—“

Me: “I’m not paying anything until I have an itemized bill.”

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *huffs* “Hold.” *hold music* “Okay, ma’am, I’ve talked with my supervisor. Your balance is $243. Will that be card or check?”

Me: “That will be nothing until you tell me why I’m paying.”

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *huffs again* “Ma’am. I am trying to work with you here. You owe copays. We cannot fill your prescriptions until you pay in full.”

Me: “And I will happily pay as soon as someone can tell me why I’m paying. I’m looking at my history right now. Not only is there nothing with a copay for the past six months, but all other bills are marked as paid.”

Representative #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *clearly annoyed* “Would you like to speak to my supervisor, ma’am?”

Me: “Yes, I would.”

(Hold music.)

Supervisor: “Hello, [My Name]? I’m told you would like to speak to a supervisor. I’m [Supervisor].”

Me: “Yes, thank you. I called almost two weeks ago to have meds delivered. There was a miscommunication and they were not delivered. I called two days ago to have the same meds delivered as of yesterday, but they weren’t. I called today and found that I owe money and [Insurance Company] is withholding my medications until I pay. Nothing in my records shows any unpaid copay, so please tell me what is going on here.”

Supervisor: “I apologize for the inconvenience. Please be patient with me while I look into this further. Can I put you on hold?”

Me: *thinly veiled annoyance* “Yes.”

Supervisor: “Thank you.” *hold music* “Hmm. Ma’am, I apologize. I see the bill, but I’m not finding anything that it could be linked to. Unfortunately, I cannot authorize your prescription to be refilled until this bill is paid.”

Me: “Let me get this straight: your records show that I owe money. Yes?”

Supervisor: “Yes.”

Me: “You will not send my medication until I pay this bill. Correct?”

Supervisor: *uneasy* “Correct…”

Me: “But when I ask why you want me to pay, no one can tell me why. Am I wrong?”

Supervisor: “No, ma’am, you are not wrong.”

Me: “Can you see why I’m annoyed?”

Supervisor: “Yes. Please let me put you on hold one last time.”

Me: “No.”

Supervisor: “Ma’am?”

Me: “I will not be put on hold again. This phone call is already over an hour long. If you cannot tell me why I owe this money, I can only assume it’s a mistake on your end and I’m being billed for someone else’s medication or—“

Supervisor: “We are very thorough in our billing process and—“

Me: “—OR someone is committing insurance fraud and I’ll have to hire a lawyer to get this resolved.”

Supervisor: *panicked* “Um. No, no, that won’t be necessary.” *clicking keyboard* “I will see to it that your medication is shipped out today and I will put an override on the unpaid bill. I will continue to research this and get back to you as soon as I know what is going on. Is your number [phone number]?”

Me: “Yes, it is. Thank you.”

Supervisor: “Thank you, ma’am. Enjoy the rest of your day.”

(My medication was delivered the next day and yes, I signed for it. It’s been two weeks and I still haven’t heard anything about my mystery bill. I guess I’ll have to wait and see what happens when I call for my next refill!)

[florida80]

Behind Every Man Is A Wife Trying To Keep Him Alive

Hospital, Patients, Spouses & Partners, USA | Healthy | April 28, 2019


(One of our patients is a very stubborn gentleman who has broken his hip. He thinks he can get out of bed without help, but he can’t. We instruct him to use his call light but he continues to get out of bed alone. We’re worried he’s going to fall, so we put him on a bed alarm which will automatically alert us if he tries to get up. However, when visiting hours start, it turns out we don’t need it after all…)

Patient’s Wife: “DON’T YOU EVEN THINK OF GETTING OUT OF BED BY YOURSELF! I’VE TOLD YOU A MILLION TIMES, YOU HAVE TO CALL THE GIRLS IF YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF BED!”

(Cue the nurse and I hustling over to his room to respond to the verbal bed alarm.)

[florida80]

Not Feline These Vegetables

Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals, USA, Vet | Healthy | April 27, 2019


(A woman comes in with her sick cat.)

Woman: “I don’t know what happened. She was very healthy when I adopted her.”

Me: “Did she eat something she shouldn’t have?”

Woman: “I am very careful about what ends up in her tummy. I make sure she gets only the best vegetarian meals.”

Me: “Excuse me, vegetarian?”

Woman: “Oh yes, I cannot stand meat consumption.”

Me: “Ma’am, cats are strictly carnivorous. Did your cat say she was okay with converting to your lifestyle?”

Woman: “Of course not, animals can’t consent… Oh…”

(I’m still getting headaches when I try to understand why that woman had to be told what I told her. The cat was held at the animal hospital until it was in good health and ready to be adopted. The woman agreed the cat was better with someone else. I’m vegetarian myself, but I would never feed my snake vegetables. Piece of advice guys: if you are vegetarian or vegan and won’t even feed meat to your pet, please get a herbivorous pet.)

[florida80]

She’s About To Put Her Foot In It

Bad Behavior, Hospital, Nurses, USA | Healthy | April 26, 2019


(While cleaning a route for climbing, some rocks come loose and hit my foot. I am a few hours from the nearest town, and about six from the nearest hospital. Because the pain is manageable, I just lace my boots up and get a ride to the hospital a few days later. I will admit to looking more than a little scruffy at this point, and bathing hasn’t exactly been a common occurrence over the past few months due to lack of facilities.)

Nurse: “Why are you here today?”

Me: “I think I broke my foot.”

Nurse: “Why do you think that?”

Me: “Around 45 pounds of rocks fell on it a few days back, and I can move one of the bones around.”

Nurse: *rolls her eyes* “Are you sure that’s not just a joint? If you broke something a few days ago, you would have come in a few days ago.”

Me: “Well, it wasn’t really an option because I was two hours outside of [Small, Rural Town] and had to wait to get a ride to here. Plus, it’s really swollen and I don’t think the arch of my foot has a joint in it.”

Nurse: “If you want pain meds, just admit it. I’m not wasting time on a room for you if you’re just looking for pills.”

Me: “I haven’t asked for any medications at all, and I just want an x-ray of my foot.”

Nurse: “No. You clearly want drugs. I’m not wasting time on you anymore. Just leave. Try the methadone clinic across the street.”

Me: “No. I am not leaving until someone actually examines my foot!”

Nurse: *rolls eyes again and motions to the security guard* “Listen, if you won’t leave, we’ll have to escort you out.”

Me: “Just have someone actually look at my foot! I don’t want pills, I don’t want a room; just have an actual doctor look at my d*** foot!”

(The security guard looks at me and the nurse.)

Nurse: “Get her out of here; she’s a junkie.”

Guard: *looking confused* “Has she asked for pills? Or been violent to you? Because I haven’t seen her threaten you, [Nurse]. I don’t see why she needs to leave before seeing a doctor.”

(The nurse stomps away but returns a few minutes later, dragging a doctor by the sleeve.)

Nurse: “See? She claims she broke her foot days ago and just now came in for it. She’s clearly looking for drugs or a place to sleep.”

Doctor: “Have you actually looked at her foot yet, [Nurse]?”

Nurse: “No! She’s gross and clearly faking it! She doesn’t need treatment; she needs a f****** job!”

Doctor: “Let me see your foot, ma’am.”

(I take off my boot and sock. Apparently, one of the bones has moved around; it’s now visibly poking up.)

Doctor: “[Nurse], get out of here. Her foot is clearly broken. Go find something else to do, instead of your asinine crusade against people who you don’t like.”

(I got my foot x-rayed and got a boot for it. I broke it in five places and the doctor said I was lucky to not have caused permanent damage by not getting it set right away. The nurse had to send me an apology letter for her behavior, and I learned to shower and look nicer before going to a hospital!)

[florida80]

She Had A Fall, And So Did Australia, Apparently

Australia, Golden Years, Hospital, Patients, Perth, Politics, Western Australia | Healthy | April 26, 2019


(I’m in the ER with my husband after he broke his arm. A woman and her adult daughter are in the curtain area next to us. From what I can gather, the older woman had a fall and hit her head; she doesn’t remember what happened and has lost her hearing aids. The nurse is asking her some general questions. It is 2014 and we live in Australia.)

Nurse: “Okay, just a few questions. What is your full name?”

Older Woman: “[Older Woman].”

Nurse: “Great, and your birthdate?”

Older Woman: “Pardon?”

Daughter: *bit louder* “Your birthday, mum”

Older Woman: “Oh, it’s [birthdate].”

Nurse: “Who is the prime minister?”

Older Woman: “I’m sorry, what?”

Daughter: *louder again* “Who’s the idiot that runs the country?”

Older Woman: “Oh, that’s Tony Abbott.”

(My husband and I couldn’t help but laugh. The nurse had a good chuckle, too.)

[florida80]

No Three Cheers For This Doctor

Bad Behavior, Doctor/Physician, Georgia, Hospital, USA, Wild & Unruly | Healthy | April 25, 2019


(My first experience with a migraine is not a fun one. I lay in bed for two days and nothing works. I am ten at the time. My mom decides to take me to the ER to get stronger medicines since I am missing school and crying any time I am awake. After waiting for an hour, I am taken back and they begin prepping for medicine.)

Doctor: “All right. I’m going to give you a shot to help your head.”

Me: “W-what? I didn’t…”

(I start crying again due to a fear of needles while my mom comforts me. The doctor preps the shot.)

Doctor: “All right. Going to count to three and then we’ll stick you. One… Two…”

(He then jabs the needle in. I scream and jerk away because I wasn’t prepared, causing blood to get all over my arm.)

Doctor: “What the h*** was that for?! You’re ten! Grow up!”

Mom: “And you stabbed my child! You said, ‘On three’!”

Doctor: “Well, if he wasn’t such a brat—“

(A nurse comes in at that moment and sees me crying with blood all over my arm, my mom cornering the doctor, and the doctor with the needle still in his hand. The doctor shoves my mom away and all but slams the needle into the nurse’s hand.)

Doctor: “You take care of this spoiled brat!”

(The nurse patched me up and waited until three to stick me. It took a few tries, but we finally got the medicine. Once it took effect, I don’t remember anything, but, from what I heard, the doctor was fired because he was too rough with patients. One even almost died because of him.)

[florida80]

The Faint Is Not A Feint

Doctor/Physician, Jerk, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, Nurses, USA | Healthy | April 24, 2019


(My adult daughter has multiple medical issues, including vasovagal syncope — she faints — triggered by several things, including vomiting and even small blood draws. I am with her for support and as her driver in case of problems when she goes to get a routine blood draw that requires multiple vials. Due to insurance issues, she is going to an unfamiliar lab and has called in advance to verify that there is a bed available for her to lie down for the draw, as it’s the only way to prevent an event. She is called by the phlebotomist.)

Phlebotomist: “Please have a seat here in this chair and we’ll get started.”

Daughter: “I need to lie down or I’ll faint. I was told you had a bed available?”

Phlebotomist: “Oh, was that you who called? Please just sit down. I draw blood every day, all day, and I’ve never heard of such a problem.”

(It’s actually fairly common.)

Daughter: “I have vasovagal syncope triggered by having my blood drawn. I’d rather lie down so I don’t end up on the floor.”

Phlebotomist: “There isn’t a bed available. Now, you’re holding up the process as there are several others also waiting to have their blood drawn. We’ll just have to deal with it if it happens, which I know for a fact it won’t. I’m very good at my job.”

Daughter: “I’d rather wait for a bed. How long will it be?”

Phlebotomist: “We don’t have any beds in the lab. We’d have to go to the doctor’s office next door, and I’m not going to do that. These chairs recline a bit; I’ll put it back and you’ll be fine. Now, are you going to get the blood drawn or not?”

Daughter: *not wanting to make a scene and needing to have the procedure completed* “Okay, but I warned you; you can’t say I didn’t.” *and to me* “Mom, please come in and be ready to catch me.”

(The phlebotomist prepares my daughters arm for the draw, commenting about how she’s never seen anyone actually faint from a simple blood draw, and what a wuss my daughter is for having to have her mother present for the procedure. When she inserts the needle and starts to draw the blood, my daughter’s eyes roll back and she starts to slide out of the chair.)

Phlebotomist: “What’s happening?! Wake up, wake up! You can’t do this to me! Please, Mom, hold her up while I finish!”

(So much for not keeping the others waiting. She was out cold on the floor for several minutes, and it was over half an hour before she could stand to even get into a wheelchair to leave the room. They’ve since installed a fully reclining chair in the lab, and the phlebotomist learned a valuable lesson about listening to the clients. Also, my daughter will now not allow anyone to draw her blood unless she is fully lying down and will not take “no” for an answer

[florida80]

Cyst-emic Failure To Diagnose

Canada, Doctor/Physician, Extra Stupid, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive | Healthy | April 24, 2019


(I wake up in excruciating and familiar pain. As someone who has cystic ovaries, I can tell when a cyst is about to rupture; the pain is as identifiable as it is horrific. Other symptoms accompany it, including increased discharge from the nether regions — a point that is important, I assure you. My husband drives me to the ER where I describe the symptoms to the nurse, who winces empathetically.)

Nurse: “I’ve had that, too; I know exactly how you feel.”

(The doctor comes in and I clearly explain my symptoms in detail. She performs a pelvic exam.)

Doctor: “Have you inserted a suppository because of the discharge?”

Me: *in disbelief* “No, that’s the other symptom I mentioned to you; it’s fluid from the ruptured cyst.”

(She then grabs my right leg, pushes it up and into my abdomen, and asks me if it hurts as I gasp and retch from the pain of it torquing my ovary. Her diagnosis?)

Doctor: “Tendonitis in your leg.”

(She sent me home with instructions to alternate ice and heat. The sympathetic nurse urged me to seek a second opinion, which I did. At the second hospital, I explained all of my symptoms to the triage nurse, and said, “You will see in my records that I was just seen at the other hospital and was released with a diagnosis of tendonitis. I thought I’d come to see someone at your facility since, apparently, tendonitis is leaking out of my vagina.” Once she finished laughing, she and the rest of the medical team quickly diagnosed me with a ruptured ovarian cyst, and provided the pain medication and follow-up care I needed!)

[florida80]

A Short Pregnancy

Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Silly, USA | Healthy | April 23, 2019


(During my third trimester, I am being seen one visit by a doctor who is not my usual ob/gyn. My usual doctor is about five feet tall — 5’2” in heels. I’m 5’3” if I don’t slouch, and my baby is about six pounds. As the doctor in this visit is going over my information, verifying who my doctor is, and checking the size of my baby, he finally exclaims loudly:)

Doctor: “Jeez, there are a lot of short people involved in this pregnancy.”

(My husband and I kept it together but had a really good laugh later on.)

[florida80]

College Doesn’t Cause Less Anxiety, Trust Us!

Doctor/Physician, Florida, Jerk, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | April 22, 2019


(I was diagnosed with a general anxiety disorder and panic disorder at nineteen, and have been on anti-anxiety medications since. Sometimes, they stop being as effective, or the side effects become worse, and I need to return to a doctor to change my prescription. This was never an issue before, as my dosage is low and I don’t require strong or addictive medication. However, after moving, I go to see a new doctor. The clinic has gotten all my medical records from my previous one, and I have filled out the forms, detailing my conditions. The doctor is a general practitioner, is male and middle-aged, and immediately seems to be only paying half-attention. I am a twenty-five-year-old female.)

Doctor: “Now, why is someone like you on anxiety medication?”

Me: *confused* “Because I have an anxiety and panic disorder. I was diagnosed years ago, as it says in my file.”

Doctor: “Have you ever tried losing weight?”

Me: “Uh, yes. I’ve been on diets since I was five. I do eat healthy, and I walk a mile almost daily–“

Doctor: “And you’re not working.”

Me: *having no idea what this has to do with anything* “No, not yet. I just moved states with my family.”

Doctor: “So, you plan on working? Or are you going to school?”

(I have absolutely no idea where this conversation is going, or why he’s suddenly asking about my life. In the back of my head, I’m hoping he’s trying to figure out what medication to put me on if I’m entering a more stressful situation.)

Me: “No, I’m not planning on going to college, and I’ve started looking for a job–“

Doctor: *cutting me off in a grandfatherly, scolding tone* “Now, why aren’t you planning on going to college? There are lots of good colleges around here.” *starts naming off colleges*

(I am getting increasingly embarrassed and flustered. I attended one year of community college, but my health had taken such a terrible turn from the constant stress and panic attacks I nearly ended up in the hospital. I didn’t continue.)

Me: “I’m… not really interested in going back to college, sir. Can we get back to my–“

Doctor: *dismissively* “Now, now, I’ve got a granddaughter your age; I know what I’m talking about. You don’t need more pills. What you need is to get your degree, lose weight, and find a good man to marry. You’re anxious because your life isn’t heading anywhere! I’ll put you on [medication] for now, but when you come back, I expect you to be enrolled somewhere, you hear?” *winking at me* “Doctor’s orders.”

(I was so bewildered and humiliated I just wanted to get out of the office. I took my prescription and never returned to his office again. I’ve had doctors be unprofessional before, but I’ve never had one lecture me on how going to college would magically cure my mental illness!)

[florida80]

Getting High (Prices) On Medication

California, Employees, Extra Stupid, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | April 22, 2019


(I’m at the pharmacy to pick up one of my regular prescriptions. This one is about $5. After the pharmacy tech verifies my identity, the following occurs:)

Tech: “Okay, just this medication? That will be $45.”

Me: “Wait, what? It’s usually $5. Why is it so expensive?”

Tech: “Hmm, looks like we didn’t run it through your insurance.”

Me: “…”

Tech: “…”

Me: “Could you run it through my insurance?”

Tech: *surprised* “You want me to do that?”

Me: “Yes. Yes, I do.”

(I did get my medication for the right price and headed home. This was over a year ago, and I’m still baffled why asking for it to be run through my insurance was such an odd request.)

[florida80]

Are You Sure You’re Sure?

Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Nurses, Patients, UK | Healthy | April 21, 2019


(I have appendicitis and have presented at the hospital late at night. These conversations take place over the time between then and finally having surgery the following afternoon. My cis female partner is with me throughout.)

Doctor: “Any chance you could be pregnant?”

Me: “No, this is my only sexual partner and she can’t get me pregnant accidentally.”

Partner: “Well, we aren’t using contraception.”

Me: “True. We’d make a fortune if you did get me pregnant, though.”

Doctor: “We have to do a pregnancy test, anyway.”

(Forty minutes later, in the surgical assessment unit…)

Junior Doctor: “And any chance you are pregnant?”

Me: “The GP did a pregnancy test and it was negative and no, no sperm has been anywhere near me.”

Junior Doctor: “Well, we will do another test.”

(Two hours after that, when I am finally seen by the on-call registrar…)

Registrar: “You must be in agony. Any chance you might be pregnant?”

Me: “You’ve done two pregnancy tests tonight, both negative. This is my only sexual partner. Please, can you just give me some pain relief?”

Registrar: “Yes, we will get antibiotics and saline set up via a cannula and get you some pain relief and then admit you. We need to do swabs for MRSA and a pregnancy test.”

Me: “I have not been able to keep anything down, including more than a sip of water, for over twelve hours now. I am quite dehydrated. The chances of me being able to pee into a cup are very slim.”

Registrar: “Well, just do what you can.”

(A few hours later, I am admitted in the middle of the night and finally given pain relief, and I wake up on the ward.)

Nurse: “Now, we have an order for a pregnancy test; apparently, you couldn’t produce a sample last night, but now that we have fluids in you, you should be able to.”

Me: “I have had two pregnancy tests already since I got here, but sure, let’s do a third.”

(Later, during surgical rounds…)

Surgeon: “Right, well, you’re on the list for urgent surgery. We will need to do a pregnancy test before we can operate, though.”

Me: “You have done three already. All negative. My only sexual partner doesn’t produce sperm and we are not trying for a baby.”

Surgeon: “Three? Maybe I can check those results.”

Me: “Thanks.”

(Nope, the nurse appeared with another cup for me to pee into. I had my appendix out and I was very definitely not pregnant.)

[florida80]

Would Rather Deal With The Fungus

Doctor/Physician, Jerk, Medical Office, Non-Dialogue, USA, Virginia | Healthy | April 19, 2019


I am extremely susceptible to fungal infections like ringworm. It’s not a real problem, for the most part, just an unsightly nuisance. I had a mark on my arm that I knew from experience was a fungal infection, but the OTC drugs don’t work well on me, so while I was visiting a new doctor about an unrelated issue I asked her about getting a prescription for it. The doctor asked me why I needed it, so I showed her the mark on my arm and explained my history with these kinds of infections.

The doctor immediately got extremely snotty and annoyed with me. She said that I wasn’t a doctor — which is true — and that whatever that mark was, it was not a fungal infection, and that it could be very serious. She said I should tell her about any worrisome marks and then let her do her job — determining what they are and making decisions about my care — without making guesses about what the problem is. She announced that she was going to look at a sample of the mark to determine what it was and what needed to be done, took a skin scraping, and flounced out of the room.

Five minutes later she was back. She wouldn’t look me in the eye while she told me it was a fungal infection, handed me a script, and then marched out.

[florida80]

Just His (Red) Cross To Bear

Albany, Blood Donation, New York, Silly, Spouses & Partners, USA | Healthy | April 17, 2019


(For those who don’t know, there is a specialized blood donation process called apheresis. In this type of donation, the platelets are separated out of the bloodstream and collected, while the rest of the blood is returned to the body. It takes longer than a regular whole blood donation but can be done more often so people can give more. The phone rings and I answer it.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hello, this is [Caller] from the American Red Cross calling to speak to [Husband] about scheduling an apheresis appointment.”

Me: *calling out* “[Husband], it’s the Red Cross. They want to suck your blood!”

Caller: “No, just his platelets…”

[florida80]

Just The Naked Truth, Doc

Hospital, Patients, Silly, UK | Healthy | April 15, 2019


(I’ve been referred to a gynaecologist. After taking my history he shows me behind a curtain, where there is a bed with stirrups, and asks me to get ready for an examination. After a minute or two, I am ready.)

Doctor: *from the other side of the curtain* “Are you decent?”

(My legs are in stirrups, and my genitals are completely exposed.)

Me: *jokingly* “Well, I definitely wouldn’t say I’m decent…”

[florida80]

Out Of Control About The Birth Control

Columbus, Doctor/Physician, Jerk, Medical Office, Ohio, USA | Healthy | April 14, 2019


(I am coming in for a routine checkup with my GP. I am female and he is going through all the questions. Then, we get to the contraceptive part.)

Doctor: “Are you on birth control?”

Me: “No, I don’t react well to it.”

Doctor: “So, what do you use for protection?”

Me: “Condoms.”

Doctor: “Condoms are fine and all, but not 100% effective. You should really also be on birth control pills.”

Me: “Well, I tried taking the lowest dose offered, but I gained a ton of weight and was always throwing up while I was on it. I don’t react well to it and prefer not to take it. Condoms work just fine.”

Doctor: “Just using condoms is like playing Russian Roulette! It does not protect you 100%!”

Me: *thinking to myself that the “pullout method” was more akin to “Russian Roulette* “Well, again, I get really sick when I’ve taken it in the past, so I really don’t want it.”

(He went on for about five minutes more on how I was being “risky.” I couldn’t help but feel he was being a “pill pusher” and not listening to what I was saying. At that point, I was 26 and married with a steady job, so if I did accidentally become pregnant it wouldn’t have been the end of the world. Every time I went in after that, he was always pushing birth control. I think I need a new GP.)

[florida80]

H2-D’oh!, Part 6

Extra Stupid, Medical Office, Non-Dialogue, Patients, USA, Virginia | Healthy | April 13, 2019


I’m the dumb patient here.

I had just received a cortisone shot for hip pain and the nurse was giving me post-op instructions, one of which was no soaking baths for three days. I said that I was driving to Chicago the next day and was disappointed that I couldn’t use the hotel hot tub, but then I said, “Well, that’s okay; I’ll just swim extra laps.”

The nurse gave me an odd look and reminded me that the instructions also meant “no swimming.”

Related:
H2-D’oh!, Part 5
H2-D’oh!, Part 4
H2-D’oh!, Part 3

[florida80]

Allergic To Dumb Doctors

Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Lazy/Unhelpful, Ohio, USA | Healthy | April 12, 2019


(I am in the ER due to a high fever and an inability to breathe without wheezing for a week, having been urged by the nurse advice line to go in. Previously, my GP, who works at the hospital, said that my inability to breathe was due to allergies. I am annoyed at this because she did not even listen to my lungs, even when I told her it felt like I had something in my left lung. After a surprisingly short wait for this emergency room, I get my vitals taken, and then I’m sent back to a room to wait for the doctor to see me. When she finally comes, the doctor barely looks up from her clipboard.)

Doctor: “Miss [My Name], it looks like to me that you have allergies.”

Me: “No, I–“

Doctor: *looks up, clearly annoyed* “Your previous doctor said it was allergies. Coming to my emergency room will not make it not allergies. I’ll even give you an x-ray to show it.” *looks back down at her clipboard* “So, I need you to take a pregnancy test.”

Me: “Don’t need it.”

Doctor: “Yes, you do.”

Me: “I am asexual and my girlfriend lives in another state. No, I do not!”

(I start a wheezing, coughing fit; I try to talk when I can get a breath.)

Me: “Allergies in me makes me lose hearing in my right ear. It makes me look like I’ve been bawling. This. Is. Not. Allergies!”

(The doctor is stunned at my outburst, and because she accidentally left the sliding door open, there are a few other attendings who are staring. The doctor runs off, slamming the door shut behind her. It is over a half hour before a nurse comes to wheel me to the x-ray.)

Nurse: “By the way, good job at getting her to look up and shut up. We said it didn’t look like allergies when [Other Nurse] took your vitals.” *under her breath* “I bet she wasn’t even reading your chart.”

(After the x-ray and breathing treatments, the doctor came back and sheepishly admitted that I had pneumonia in both lungs, my left lung being the worst she’d ever seen. I was also pleasantly surprised to learn that whenever I returned to the hospital for a followup, I didn’t have to deal with the pregnancy question again.)

[florida80]

Parents Of Patients Can’t Be Patient

Bad Behavior, Hospital, Missouri, Parents/Guardians, USA | Healthy | April 11, 2019


(I’m working on a pediatric hospital ward. A patient quits breathing and a code blue is called.)

Parent: *of another patient on the ward* “Excuse me. We asked for Tylenol ten minutes ago and my child’s fever continues to get worse.”

Nurse: “I’m sorry, but we are in the middle of a respiratory code right now and someone will help you in a few minutes.”

Parent: “I don’t give a d*** about that other child; my child needs Tylenol right now!”

[florida80]

He Literally Has A Screw Loose

Bizarre, Health & Body, home, Missouri, Patients, USA | | Healthy | June 7, 2019


(My stepdad has Meniere’s disease, and years ago, he had a doctor remove one of the ossicle bones in his ear, rendering him with a complete conductive loss in one ear. Because this is the only reason he can’t hear, his doctor recommends he try a bone-anchored hearing aid, which bypasses the outer and middle ear and lets him hear through the inner ear. The initial surgery involves placing a screw in his skull, and before he can use the hearing aid, this area must heal. It’s been taking a while to heal, and one night, while my mom is at work, my stepdad calls me to the bathroom.)

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Stepdad: “Come here. Look at my screw.”

(I take a look at the area, but I can’t see the screw. It’s so covered in blood that all I can see is an indention, so I fear the screw has fallen in.)

Me: “I can’t see it!”

Stepdad: “That’s because it’s right here.”

(He held out his hand, where he’d been holding the screw the whole time. After this, I made him call my mom’s work to let her know. They sent her home because “her husband’s screw fell out of his head.”)

[florida80]

Planning On Taking A Life The Same Day You’re Giving Birth To One

Bad Behavior, Canada, Hospital, Non-Dialogue, Nurses, Ontario | | Healthy | June 6, 2019


I’m past due with my second child by a week when I wake up around 4:00 am and find fresh blood in the toilet after urinating. I wake my husband, get the toddler ready, and grab the bags, and we get to the hospital a little before 7:00 am. At this point, I am beginning to feel contractions coming on. The intake takes several minutes before I’m placed in a pre-check room — essentially a small department of eight beds, divided by curtains, where they do cervix checks, blood pressure, and first-step inductions. I’m placed in the last bed on the far side and hooked up to a fetus monitor while a new nurse checks all my vitals. I come to hate this woman immediately.

She tells us first that my toddler can’t be in the room with us, to which my husband and I both say we are trying to contact nearby family but no one’s answering yet, plus we have yet to be moved to a birthing suite and I cannot carry all those bags myself at this time. The nurse relents after two more tellings, but says snippily that the toddler can’t be there for the birth. We both know and inform her that we have no intention of having my toddler in the room at that time. She leaves and my husband goes back to calling family repeatedly.

A second nurse comes in, checks everything and suggests maybe I go home, stating that it’s probably too early for anything to happen. I tell her I don’t want to — that the contractions are starting to hurt badly — so she takes me into the birthing wing and sets me up in the jacuzzi. I’m there for twenty minutes. The first half, I’m starting to feel better, but then the contractions double. I count through the pain that I’m in a contraction for about a minute every two minutes.

Cue the b**** nurse. She comes in at 8:00 am and says I shouldn’t be in the tub — yet doesn’t help me climb out — and that my contractions can’t possibly be coming that fast, and has me walk back to the intake wing. Everything hurts! I’m trying not to cry and to do the breathing exercises, etc., all while the nurse hooks me back up to the fetus monitor, berates my husband for still having our toddler here, and then leaves. She only returns once, to snap at me, saying, “You need to keep it down! You can’t be screaming or crying; you’re upsetting other patients here!”

For context, I was induced in my first pregnancy due to the possibility of preeclampsia, stayed four days in the hospital, and was so completely loopy between lack of sleep and the epidural that come the birth, I did it half-dazed. I have never experienced the pain before this, but I’m trying to soldier on and muffle any screaming and tears due to my toddler being in the room. I finally convince the nurse to check my cervix next time she’s in, which she does, only to say I’m not even dilated. That’s a lie, because I was nearly two centimeters dilated when I saw my OB three days ago. I ask for the doctor and she says he’s not there and leaves. My husband leaves at this time to pass our toddler on to family. Out of desperation, I call out for a nurse until another one comes a few minutes later. I immediately ask to see the doctor and she goes to fetch him. He comes in at 9:00 am with the b**** nurse, who’s talking to him, “She’s not dilated… Didn’t do labour classes… Not breathing right…”

I want to punch her.

The doctor takes off the fetus monitor devices and checks my cervix. He goes, “She’s four centimeters dilated! Get her to the birthing suite now.” Then he vacates the room.

The nurse looks at me. “Okay, let’s go.”

A second nurse asks if she should grab the wheelchair, to which b**** nurse says we don’t need it and proceeds to have me walk out of the intake wing and into the labour side. That’s a distance of seven hospital beds and past three birthing rooms.

I’m leaning against the wall, trying to walk through crippling contractions, while she’s telling me I need to hurry up and I shouldn’t take so long. I hiss at my husband that if she doesn’t stop talking at me, once I get closer I’m going to rip her throat out. Unfortunately, she says nothing by the time I shuffle to the door and disappears.

No thanks to her, I can’t receive any pain medication because I am too far dilated by this point, and I deliver my healthy baby a few minutes after 10:00 am.

[florida80]

Under This Care, You Won’t Live To Be 26, Let Alone 102

England, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, London, Non-Dialogue, Nurses, UK | | Healthy | June 5, 2019


After being rushed to hospital via ambulance, I was put in a bed on the ward around two in the morning.

Each bay had four beds in it, and each bed was labelled one through four. The patients’ names were above the beds, and the charts were located at the bottom of the beds.

I hadn’t been asleep for long when I was suddenly thrown upright by someone fiddling with my bed and adjusting the top so I was sitting. Another nurse grabbed my arm before I had fully woken up, so there was one on each side. One was taking my blood pressure and the other was about to insert a needle into my cannula.

Neither had said a word to me.

Tired, cranky, and having only just gotten to sleep after being transferred up from A&E, I asked them what they were doing.

“Just giving you your medicine, Catherine,” one of the nurses replied.

My name is not Catherine.

I asked them to check my chart and to get the needles away from me. They did, grumbling as if I was being dramatic, only to both go wide-eyed. I was in bed two and apparently, they needed the woman in bed one.

I thought nothing of it. I was only happy that they hadn’t injected me with a random drug as I was pregnant, and who knows what could have happened.

It wasn’t until the next morning that I found out that Catherine in the bed across from me was 102 years old and suffering from dementia.

I was twenty-five and heavily pregnant at the time.

I don’t know how they managed to mix us up, but it did not give me much confidence in the nurses during that hospital stay

[florida80]

Sleep Until Noon And Then TV Show – Yeah, They Really Need Therapy

Crazy Requests, Germany, Medical Office, Time | | Healthy | June 4, 2019


(As an occupational therapist, it’s my responsibility to coordinate appointments with my patients, both in the office or in their home. Sometimes I have to shuffle them around to fit them all in, minding their work schedules and such. I’m trying to find an appointment with a patient:)

Patient: “You can’t come before 11:00 am; I like to sleep late. But 1:00 pm on Wednesday would be fine.”

Me: “I’m afraid that’s not possible, as I have already scheduled another patient at that time. How about Thursday, 2:00 pm?”

Patient: “I don’t know. [TV Show] is running at that time. Can you come later on Wednesday?”

Me: “Not really. The whole Wednesday is full; I have patients coming in from 8:00 am to 6:00 pm. I’m not even sure I will get to take a break in between. So, Wednesday isn’t going to work.”

Patient: “Well, I don’t mind you coming in after 6:00 pm. In fact, that would be perfect. But don’t come after 7:00 pm, because it would be too late.”

(I love my job. But I’m not going to work that much overtime, after a ten-hour day, to accommodate your naps and TV shows!)

[florida80]

Had The Gall To Feed You

Extra Stupid, Florida, Food & Drink, Hospital, Nurses, USA | | Healthy | June 3, 2019


(I’ve just had gallbladder surgery. They want to keep me overnight for observation. A nurse brings me a dinner tray. I am surprised to find a full meal plus a soda.)

Me: “Um, hey… They said I wasn’t supposed to have solid food yet.”

Nurse #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “No, you can have this. It’s been approved. No worries.”

(I’m slightly confused, but I figure I must’ve misheard while I was still loopy from anesthesia. I get a couple sips of soda in and a bite of food before I feel the urge to empty my stomach. Thankfully, another nurse is walking by and runs in to get a bucket.)

Nurse #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Yep, that sometimes happens after gallbladder surgery. No worries, hon. Glad I was walking by, eh?”

(She glances over at the tray of food and raises an eyebrow.)

Nurse #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Where did that come from?”

Me: “Someone brought it in ten minutes ago. They said I could have it.”

Nurse #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *calmly* “No. No. Absolutely not. You get clear liquids tonight. No carbonation, either. Let me get this out of here, and I’ll find you some Jello.”

(She picks up the tray and walks out the door. I hear the following as she disappears down the hallway.)

Nurse #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “ALL RIGHT! WHO WAS THE DUMBA** THAT GAVE A GALLBLADDER PATIENT REAL FOOD? TELL ME NOW!”



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[florida80]

That Day Just Flu Past

Doctor/Physician, Extra Stupid, Medical Office, USA | |
Healthy | June 2, 2019

(This happens when I get sick during middle school. My mother brings me to urgent care to get me checked out.)

Doctor: “Looks like she’s managed to catch this year’s flu.” *gives usual instructions for dealing with it* “After her temperature has been normal for a full day she can go back to school.”

Mom: “Just one day?”

Doctor: “Yes, that should be long enough.”

(My mother tells me on the car ride home that she found this odd. Before, when my brother or I have gotten sick like this, our regular doctor has instructed her to keep us home until our temperature was normal for two full days. But, he’s the doctor, right? He must know what he’s talking about. So, once my fever has been down for a day, I go back to school. The day starts out fine, but on the bus ride home I start to feel really cruddy. I tell my mom how I’m feeling, and we end up going into urgent care again. A nurse comes in to talk to us first, and my mom tells her about my last visit there.)

Nurse: “He said to send her back after only one day of feeling better? Seriously?!”

(She was pretty incredulous that such instructions had been given. The checkup proceeded, and it turns out I’d caught pneumonia. That most likely happened because I’d gone back to school before my immune system was able to fully bounce back.)

[florida80]

Doesn’t Understand The Weight That Comes With Being A Doctor

Doctor/Physician, Extra Stupid, Jerk, Medical Office, USA, Virginia | | Healthy | June 1, 2019


(I go to a doctor’s office where you have a regularly-prescribed doctor but if they are out, you get another that works in that specific building. I have been suffering from extreme menstrual pains ever since I started and have been to the doctor many times to find a solution, getting dumb answers — such as when I tell them I’ve lost about 50 pounds over six months and they tell me that I’m not watching my weight — but this one takes the cake.)

Newer Doctor: “I see you’ve been here for this problem before. What did [Regular Doctor] say?”

Me: “The last time I was here, he suggested [pain reliever] and to stop eating dairy completely, and if that didn’t work, he was going to prescribe me [birth control].”

Newer Doctor: “Oh, no, no, no. We are not going to put you on a pill to mess with all your hormones. You should go on a diet and you’ll start to feel better.”

Me: “But I’m already on the Keto diet. Do you want me to start eating ice?”

Newer Doctor: “I don’t believe that! I’ve seen your records of weight, and you’ve lost a lot, but you need to lose much more!”

Me: “Isn’t the suggested weight 180 pounds? I’m 195. At this rate, I’ll be 140 before summer!”

Newer Doctor: “That’s good! A doctor should always tell you to lose weight! I hate when I go to the doctor and they just try to change everything about my body.”

Me: *thinking* “Isn’t that exactly what you’re doing?!”

(I took her advice with a grain of salt and went back when my regular doctor got back. I started taking the pill and it has helped significantly!)

[florida80]

“Cheer Up!” Is What All People With Depression Want To Hear

Doctor/Physician, Extra Stupid, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, Pennsylvania, USA | | Healthy | May 31, 2019


(After a couple of years of not being able to go to counseling for my various issues, I am trying out a new practice with my new insurance. This occurs during the initial interview with the physician’s assistant who is supposed to help me choose a counselor.)

Me: “And I sometimes feel like, whatever decision I make will be the wrong one, just because I made it…”

Physician’s Assistant: *without looking up from her notes* “Oh, don’t feel like that.”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry?”

Physician’s Assistant: “You shouldn’t feel like that. It’s not helpful.” *finally looking up at me* “So, what were you saying?”

(That was the last time I went to that office. I have to wonder how many years of schooling this woman had under her belt, and still somehow thought it was a brilliant idea to tell someone with severe depression and anxiety that all their problems would be solved if they just “don’t feel like that”!)

[florida80]

It’s Going To Be A Long Week That Lasts Two Months

Date, Ignoring & Inattentive, Medical Office, Patients, USA | Healthy | April 8, 2019


(It is currently the beginning of April and this patient needs an appointment.)

Me: “Our next available is mid-June.”

Patient: “Okay, go ahead and schedule me for next Thursday.”

Me: “Our next available is mid-June.”

Patient: “I can’t schedule now; just schedule me for next Thursday.”

Me: “If you can’t schedule right now, that’s fine, but we are booking out until mid-June.”

Patient: “Okay, I’ll call back and schedule for next Thursday

[florida80]

He’s Far From The Shallow Now

Bizarre, Evanston, Hospital, Patients, USA | Healthy | April 7, 2019


(My grandfather has fallen, hit his head hard, and had a stroke. Doctors are trying to figure out if the stroke he had caused the fall or if he fell so hard that it caused a stroke. Shortly after he is transferred to the stroke ward from the ICU, the doctor is asking my grandfather some questions to check his mental condition.)

Doctor: “Do you know what year it is?”

Grandfather: “Lady Gaga.”

Doctor: *slight pause* “Okay, but do you know the year?”

Grandfather: “2029.”

(Unfortunately, he wasn’t joking with his responses, but his doctors say he is making a good recovery even though he’s not quite sure what year we’re in.)

[florida80]

Shunting That Entitlement Away

Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Jerk, Salt Lake City, USA, Utah | Healthy | April 5, 2019


(My mom is an x-ray tech at a world-renowned children’s hospital. She helped pioneer a number of techniques now commonly used today, but the hospital’s main focus is on the patient’s overall welfare. This involves things like minimizing the number of x-ray frames taken to cut down on radiation exposure, cropping x-rays as tightly as they can to cut down on radiation scatter, etc. Most doctors treat the techs well and make sure they have all the necessary information, but one new doctor doesn’t seem to get how things work at this hospital.)

Doctor: “I need a head x-ray on this patient. Forward facing.”

Mom: “Great. What am I looking for?”

Doctor: “You don’t get to ask questions. I tell you what frames to take, and you take them. Me: doctor! You: tech! You don’t talk to me!”

Mom: *doesn’t say a word, just smiles politely and goes to take the x-ray*

(As per the hospital’s policy, she narrows the field as small as she possibly can, so literally only the skull itself is in the path of the radiation. The kid has a full head of curly hair, by the way. After the films are developed and sent up, the doctor comes storming down, furious.)

Doctor: “How could you not get a picture of his shunt?!”

Mom: “What shunt?”

Doctor: “The one in his skull! The whole reason for wanting to x-ray him in the first place!”

Mom: “Well, maybe, if you’d told me why you needed the x-ray, I would have focused on that area. Instead, you just told me to shut up and take the x-ray, which I did exactly according to hospital policy. The kid has a ton of hair; there’s no way to see the shunt, and no one told me he had one, nor was it included in the written orders. If you want an x-ray of something specific, you need to specify!”

Doctor: *glares, and then stomps off to tattle to the head of Radiology, who reads him the riot act for being so rude to a tech*

(Mom did retake the film, this time focusing strictly on the shunt and its surrounding area. She felt very bad that the kid was being exposed to a second dose of radiation, however small, though.)

[florida80]

A Benign Hair Style

Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Salt Lake City, USA, Utah | Healthy | April 3, 2019


(My mom is an x-ray tech at a world-renowned children’s hospital. Patient welfare is the top priority, so they try to minimize tests and procedures as much as possible.)

Mom: *walks into the break room to see two doctors and an x-ray tech — all male — looking at a series of films*

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Obviously, we need to operate, cancerous or not. So, I say we just skip the biopsy and go straight in. We don’t want to put her under twice for no reason!”

Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “I agree, but these tumors are very unique. I’ve never seen anything quite like them, and with them being so close to both her heart and her lungs, I’m worried about what will happen if we do take them out. We don’t know how firmly they’re attached or entrenched in either of those organs.”

Mom: *curious* “Do you mind if I have a look at the films? If you haven’t seen a tumor like this before, it must be very rare.”

Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “By all means.”

([Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] hands over the films, and then continues to debate with his colleague about how quickly they can schedule the surgery, while Mom spends a few minutes looking closely at the x-rays.)

Mom: “Um, guys? We’ve got a problem here, but I don’t think it’s the problem you think it is.”

Tech: “What do you mean?”

Mom: “I don’t think that’s a tumor.”

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Of course it’s a tumor! What else could it be?”

Mom: “A hair tie.”

All: “WHAT?!”

Mom: “You know, those little round hair ties? The elastic kind with a pair of balls on the ends that little girls like?”

Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Yes, my daughter uses those. But what makes you think…”

Mom: “These tumors are perfectly round, they’re both exactly the same size, they slightly overlap, and if you look really closely, this one even has a hole through it… exactly where the elastic would be.”

All: *looks like she just hit them in the face with a board*

Tech: “You can’t be serious!”

Mom: “Do you want me to retake the film, just in case? I mean, I don’t want to expose her to more radiation, but better a single film than opening her rib cage! And if I’m wrong, then fine. But we wouldn’t want to operate on a child without being certain.”

Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Do it. Fast! She’s in room [number].”

Mom: “On it!”

(She runs up to the girl’s room:)

Mom: “Hi! I’m [Mom], one of the x-ray techs here at [Hospital]. There was a little problem with one of your daughter’s x-rays, so we need to retake it really fast. No need to worry!”

Girl: “I wiggled, didn’t I?”

Mom: “Don’t worry, sweetie. You just need to hold still for one last picture, I promise!”

(Mom, the girl, and her mother all head down to Radiology. When then get to the door, Mom asks the girl to take off her hair tie — yes, one of the kind with the little plastic balls! — from the end of the braid hanging down her back.)

Girl: “Do I have to? The other guy didn’t make me, and I don’t want my braid coming out!”

Mom: “Here. Let me see if I can find you an elastic. We just can’t have the little baubles; they might confuse the doctors when they’re reading your x-ray.” *goes to her purse and digs out an elastic of her own* “Here you go! Your mom can help you change that, and then she can wait right outside the door. We’ll only be a minute.”

(After helping the girl wrap a protective apron around her waist and hips, Mom took the film, and then the girl went back to her room. Mom immediately developed the film, and, as predicted, there were no tumors. The little girl was treated for her pneumonia and was sent home, healthy and happy, a week later. It became hospital policy after that to check for hair ties, barrettes, bobby pins, etc., before taking any x-rays.)

[florida80]

A Different Kind Of Socializing

Doctor/Physician, Great Stuff, Maine, Medical Office, Patients, Silly, USA | Healthy | April 1, 2019


Doctor: “Are you sexually active?”

Me: “I’m not even socially active.”

(The doctor had to leave the room from laughing so hard.)

[florida80]

This Is Literally Costing You Blood

Blood Donation, Madison, Silly, USA, Wisconsin | Healthy | March 31, 2019


(It’s my second time selling my plasma. The tech who got me hooked up the first time is floating around but isn’t the one to hook me up this time. I hear them talking about how many jabs it took them and how fast the machine is pulling blood out of me this time.)

Me: “You’re making me sound like a science experiment.”

Tech: “You are.”

Me: “Touché.”

[florida80]

His Hearing Is Hearty

Medical Office, Patients, UK | Healthy | March 29, 2019


(I am a hearing aid technician running a clinic in a local GP surgery. I have no medical training at all. My clients wait in the main reception area until I call them by name.)

Me: “Mr. [Unusual Name]?”

Man: “That’s me.”

(He stands and follows me to the treatment room.)

Me: “Please take a seat.”

(I make a note on my paperwork before turning to him, only to find he’s removed his shirt and is untucking his vest.)

Me: “What are you doing?!”

Man: “You need my chest, don’t you?”

Me: “What for?”

Man: “To listen to my heart.”

Me: “I’m here to fix your hearing aids!”

Man: “What hearing aids? Nothing wrong with my ears!”

Me: “Um… I think there’s been a mistake. Please get dressed!”

(It turned out there were two men with the same very unusual last name, both in the waiting room at the same time. And of course, the man with the faulty hearing aids couldn’t hear me!)

[florida80]

You “Aced” The Test

Birmingham, Doctor/Physician, England, Hospital, UK |
Healthy | March 27, 2019

(I have been pretty unwell with a virus for a week or so that has caused my asthma to flare up and has required me to take a short course of steroids. About a day or so after finishing the course, I start getting palpitations whilst at work, so I go to the hospital to see if it is something serious. This conversation happens when the doctor is arranging for me to get a chest x-ray.)

Doctor: “Any chance you could be pregnant?”

Me: “Nope.”

Doctor: “Okay, well, we still need you to do a pregnancy test.”

Me: *wondering why he even asked, then* “Why? There is literally no way I could be pregnant.”

Doctor: “Well, these things can happen!”

Me: “I’m asexual, doc.”

(The doctor frowns, looking a little confused.)

Me: *sigh* “I haven’t ‘been’ with anyone it over seven years. Trust me; there is no way I am pregnant.”

Doctor: “Look. The thing is that we just have to test all women, anyway. It’s kind of a rule.”

Me: “???”

(I had to take the test. Shocker, I was not pregnant.)

[florida80]

You Can Tell From My (Dial) Tone That I Can’t Speak

Finland, Health & Body, Helsinki, Hospital, Nurses | Healthy | March 25, 2019


(I am working in an ER doing office duties, including admitting walk-ins. A phone rings.)

Me: “This is [Hospital] with [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Caller: *absolute silence*

Me: “Sir or ma’am, are you unable to speak? Do you have a medical emergency?”

Caller: *still absolute silence*

(After about 60 seconds of silence, the caller hangs up. A few minutes later the phone rings again. The same thing happens again. I am getting really worried that this might be a bad emergency, like a stroke, that can leave a person without speak. I start wondering if I could communicate with the person using the phone’s dial tones and how to do it. But again, the person hangs up before I figure out a way to do it. The phone rings a third time. This time it’s the husband of a nurse, both of whom I know very well.)

Husband: “Hi, [My Name]. [Nurse] has really bad laryngitis. She can’t speak and can’t come to work today.”

Me: “Thank God. I was trying to figure out how to communicate with a person who can’t speak.”

[florida80]

Get Someone That Nose What They’re Doing

Bad Behavior, England, Nurses, School, UK | Healthy | March 22, 2019


(I have recurring nosebleeds. I’m at school when I get my first one this year, and I ask to go down to the nurse’s office. The nurse isn’t there, so I just wait around with a tissue under my nose to catch any leakage. After ten minutes, a nurse comes in. I have never seen her before.)

Nurse: “Look at all the mess you’re making! Didn’t your mother ever teach you manners?”

Me: “I have a nosebleed. I can’t exactly stop it. All the blood is in the tissue, anyway.”

(She huffs and leaves the room. A few minutes later, she comes back with a plaster and attaches it to my nose — as in, over the nostrils — pushing so hard it makes the bleeding worse. I protest, but she leaves the room again. I yank the plaster off and some of the blood drips onto the floor. I’m in too bad a mood to clean it up. She comes back in.)

Nurse: “You messy boy! Look at all the blood on the floor!”

Me: “It’s one drop. I’ll clean it up before I go.”

Nurse: “This wouldn’t have happened if you’d kept the plaster on!”

(I swear at her — admittedly, this was wrong — and she storms out, returning with my tutor.)

Tutor: “[My Name], I hear you’ve been swearing at [Nurse]. You know our policy on this kind of behaviour.”

Me: “I’ll be more than happy to apologise, after she apologises for insulting me and acting like my nosebleed has been a personal grievance to her. She even stuck a plaster on my nose!”

Tutor: “[My Name]! You will apologise this instant, and I’m giving you a detention tomorrow. This is unacceptable behaviour. [Nurse] is the best nurse we’ve ever had!”

(I look between him and the nurse, who is looking triumphantly smug.)

Me: “That isn’t something you should be proud of.”

(I ended up with a week’s worth of detentions or that, but I refused to go — which my parents agreed with after I told them. The last straw was when they sent a letter home saying I had been suspended. My mum went down to the school to speak with the head teacher and the nurse. Apparently, she had only been in the building a couple of minutes when the nurse ran out in tears. The school retracted the suspension, but my parents moved me to a better school equipped with more competent staff.)

[florida80]

A Periodically Brief Scare

France, Hospital, Nurses, Patients | Healthy | March 20, 2019


(After surgery on my leg, I need to pee, so I ask the nurse for help using the bedpan. After I’m finished, I can’t see the contents from my position but she obviously can, and she looks up with a horrified expression:)

Nurse: “This… This is your urine?”

Me: “Er, yes.”

Nurse: *speechless*

Me: “Oh! I forgot! I’m on my period!”

(She immediately sighs with relief. Sorry for scaring you, nurse!)

[florida80]

I Poultry Effort To Get In

Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Ignoring & Inattentive, Pets & Animals, USA, Vet | Healthy | March 17, 2019


(I’m just having one of those “glitch in the Matrix” weeks, where weird things keep happening out of the blue. This is just one example. I work in a vet clinic. It’s Tuesday evening. I’m the only staff member still at work, and we’re less than an hour from closing. The vet has gone to her other office for the evening, and we’re only still open for pickup — meds, patients, etc. The door opens and a woman walks in.)

Me: “Hi. How can I help you?”

Woman: *smiles confidently at me* “Oh, hello. I am here with my chicken.”

Me: *sure I heard wrong since we don’t treat livestock* “I’m sorry, your chicken?”

Woman: “Yes. She is sick.”

Me: “I apologize, but we don’t see livestock here. And the vet is not here currently. But you may want to try [Larger Emergency Vet Hospital]; I believe they see livestock. I can give you their information if you need it—”

Woman: *suddenly enraged, her face turning violently red* “NO! I was told you see chickens!”

Me: “Ma’am, I apologize, but we, unfortunately, do not have a vet who treats livestock here. I recommend trying to see if [Larger Emergency Vet Hospital] is able to see her.”

(Getting redder by the moment, she shoves the basket with her chicken in it in my face; she’d had it under the raised counter where I couldn’t see it.)

Woman: “YOU NEED TO SEE MY CHICKEN NOW! SHE IS SICK!”

Me: “I’m so sorry, ma’am, but there’s nothing I can do. Even if my vet was here — unfortunately, she isn’t right now — she doesn’t treat chickens. Other than referring you elsewhere, I can’t help you.”

(She shoves her chicken in my face again. It is getting increasingly upset each time the owner violently swings her basket into my face.)

Woman: “YOU ARE WRONG! I WAS TOLD YOU CAN SEE CHICKENS!”

(I open my mouth to repeat everything again when the woman abruptly makes a frustrated screech to cut me off. Clearly aware she’s not going to get her way, she stomps out. Then, from the hallway, I hear:)

Woman: “THIS PLACE HATES CHICKENS!”

[florida80]

How To Be An A** With Your Boss

Bosses & Owners, Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, USA | Healthy | March 16, 2019


(I throw my back out at work. I am a female in my 20s. My line manager, who is male and around my age, gives me a ride to the ER and helps me in as I am in too much pain to walk. We are both in uniform. We speak to a doctor and explain exactly what happened, and he orders an x-ray. Afterward, my manager helps me into a cubicle and the doctor comes back in. I am still in a hospital gown from the x-ray.)

Doctor: “You’ve torn some ligaments. You’ll need to rest for two weeks to let them start to heal. I’ll get you some pain relief, and then you can go home.”

(He leaves and comes back a few minutes later.)

Doctor: “I know you’ve had an x-ray, but I have to ask. Is there any chance you could be pregnant?”

Me: “No, none.”

Doctor: “Are you sure?”

(My manager looks away uncomfortably.)

Me: “I’m certain I’m not pregnant.”

Doctor: “Okay, this will help for a few hours, and I’ll also give you a prescription for some painkillers.” *whips out a syringe*

Me: “Okaaay…”

Doctor: *reaching for my gown* “This needs to go in your buttock, so if you’ll turn around…”

Manager: “I’ll just be outside!” *turns bright red and literally leaps through the curtains*

Doctor: “Isn’t that your husband?”

Me: “No, that’s my boss!”

Doctor: “Maybe I should have asked that first…”

[florida80]

Keeping Your Sister On Her Toes

El Paso, Health & Body, home, Patients, Siblings, Texas, USA | Healthy | March 15, 2019


(My older sister currently works at as an ER nurse. I am woken up one Saturday morning by my cell phone ringing.)

Me: “Hello?”

Sister: “I need you to come downstairs, right now.”

(I get up and walk down to the living room to find her and my parents all watching me descend.)

Me: “What’s going on?”

Sister: “I slipped on the stairs and broke my toe.”

Me: “You need someone to drive you to the hospital?”

Sister: “NO! My coworkers and I always joke about someone coming to the ER because they stubbed their toe. I am not going to the hospital because I hurt my toe.”

Me: “So, what do you need from me?”

Sister: “I need you to reset the bone. Mom is too squeamish and Dad is too gentle. You just need to pull on it quick, like taking off a bandage.”

Me: *shrugs* “Okay.” *walks over and yanks on the crooked toe*

Sister: *gasp of pain followed by a relieved sigh* “Thank you.”

(During her next shift at work, someone commented on her slight limp. She admitted to the accident and the doctor on hand insisted on x-raying her foot. The bone in the toe was indeed broken, but perfectly realigned.)

[florida80]

Helping Them Make A Rash Decision

Extra Stupid, Hospital, Patients, USA, Virginia | Healthy | March 15, 2019


(I answer the telephones at a large emergency room.)

Me: “Emergency Department.”

Patient: “I was there yesterday, and was given medicine. The nurse told me if I develop a rash, I should come back into the ER.”

Me: “Okay.”

Patient: “I have a rash now. What should I do?”

[florida80]

When It Comes To Animal Welfare, They’re Not Horsing Around

Canada, Farm, Ontario, Pets & Animals | Healthy | March 14, 2019


(I am home alone on our farm one afternoon — my family is out on errands — and there is a knock on the door. When I open the door, a man is standing there and there’s an SPCA van in the driveway.)

SPCA: “Hello, miss. We’ve had a complaint put forth about your animal welfare.”

Me: “What?!”

SPCA: “That horse over there.”

(He pointed at a horse in the field that my mum had taken in from a neighbour who was going to send her to the glue factory — yup, that’s really a thing. She was clearly sickly and dying, but we were giving her the best life we could until she passed, something her previous owner had no intention of doing. It was a serious charge and took almost a week to clear up… and $200 to get the vet out and write a note that we were giving her all the care she needed.)

[florida80]

Copay And Say Over Again

Bizarre, Illinois, Insurance, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | March 14, 2019


(My insurance company has decided to stop covering one of my prescriptions for unknown reasons. I get a notice from them on a Friday afternoon, as well as an email from the pharmacy, that the prescription in question is due for a refill. Since it’s Friday at three pm, I figure I’ll just pay the cash price for it this month and call my insurance company next week. I click the link in the email to refill and go back to work. An hour later, I get a text update saying the prescription has been put on hold. I call my pharmacy.)

Me: “Hi. My name is [My Name], and I’m calling regarding my prescription I just sent for a refill.”

Rep #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Sure, I’ll look at that… Oh, it looks like your insurance won’t cover it for whatever reason.”

Me: “I know. I’ll just pay the cash price this month. How much will it be?”

Rep #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : *timidly* “[Amount].”

Me: “Okay, that’s fine. When can I pick it up?”

Rep #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “You’re going to pay it?”

Me: “Well, sure. What other option do I have?”

Rep #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Oh… okay! I’ll finish it up for you. It should be ready in thirty minutes.”

Me: “Great. Thanks!”

(After I get out of work, I stop by the pharmacy. There’s a different rep behind the counter.)

Me: “Hi, I’m [My Name], and I believe there’s one prescription ready for me.”

Rep #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Okay, I see that here. Hmm… looks like there’s a copay.”

Me: “I know.”

Rep #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “There shouldn’t be.”

Me: “They already told me. [Amount], right?”

Rep #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Let me look into this.”

Me: “It’s okay. My insurance company screwed up. I’ll call them on Monday.”

Rep #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “You shouldn’t have to pay for this. There’s never a copay on [prescription].”

Me: *slightly irritated that he just announced what I’m taking to the entire pharmacy* “It’s fine. Really. Can I just pay?”

Rep #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “I can give you a discount.”

Me: “The copay’s not that bad. It’s been a long day and I’d really like to pay and go home.”

Rep #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “If you’re sure… Okay, I’ll put it in. I’ll even throw on that discount. If you want to have a seat, I’ll holler when it’s ready.”

Me: “Uh… the lady I talked to earlier said it’d be ready by now.”

Rep #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “No, we were waiting until you stopped in. It’ll only be about twenty minutes.”

(I’m extremely annoyed now, but I’m trying my best not to show it.)

Me: “Look, I’ll just come back tomorrow. No problem.”

Rep #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “It’s only twenty minutes. Maybe less!”

(I wave and walk out. I drive back over the next day, where there is yet another rep behind the counter.)

Me: “Hi, I’m [My Name], and there should be one ready for me.”

Rep #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “Yes, it’s filled and ready to go. One minute while I grab it!”

(He grabs it and starts ringing me out.)

Rep #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “Oh, um… I need to get the pharmacist. Something isn’t correct.”

Me: “If it’s the copay, I know about it! It’s not an issue!”

([Rep #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) ] disappears into the back. I throw up my hands in frustration. He comes back out a few minutes later.)

Rep #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “There’s a copay on this. There shouldn’t be. We can look into this for you.”

Me: “LISTEN TO ME. You are the third person that I’ve explained this to. I know about the copay. It’s fine. My insurance company screwed up. All I want to do is pay and go home!”

Rep #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “I apologize for the issue. I don’t know what happened with your insurance… Hold on. Did you say you are going to pay?!”

Me: *through gritted teeth* “YES.”

Rep #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “Oh. OH! Yes, I’d be happy to process that for you! No problem!”

(I can only imagine how many temper tantrums people have thrown over copays to prompt that reaction from THREE pharmacy techs!)

[florida80]

Death Is A Pre-Existing Condition

Bizarre, Funny Names, Germany, Insurance, Medical Office, Patients, Reception | Healthy | March 13, 2019


(I work for an insurance company. When people forget or lose their insurance cards, the doctor’s office often calls us to confirm if the insurance is up and running. I get one of these calls.)

Receptionist: “I am calling to confirm the insurance of a patient. It’s [Patient], born [date], living at [address].”

(I look up the data, double checking that I am really talking to a doctor’s office.)

Me: “Yeah, he was insured with us up to [date a few months in the past].”

Receptionist: “Well, do you know where he is insured now? He is sitting here, waiting for treatment.”

Me: “What do you mean, he is sitting there? According to my information, he died a few months ago.”

(Turns out, the doctor had two patients with the same name and birthday, and both were insured with us. And the receptionist called up the file just using that information. Only after we asked the patient for his address did we confirm that he was the other patient. I still wonder what went through his mind when the receptionist told him, “I have your insurance on the line; they say you’re dead.”)

[florida80]

Time To Take A Breather

Bizarre, Jerk, Medical Office, Patients, USA | Healthy | March 13, 2019


(I am a medical assistant in a community health clinic, with a fully-stocked retail pharmacy on the premises. This patient uses our pharmacy and has been put on a strict refill schedule for his emergency inhalers due to extreme overuse. Normal use is a maximum of two of each per month. He had gone through nine of [Inhaler #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] in two months before the pharmacist contacted the doctor. The pharmacists have counseled him multiple times on proper use, and I’ve reached out multiple times to offer an appointment to address the root cause of his trouble breathing. He declines every time, claiming he needs his inhalers to breathe, that he’s going to have a coronary without them, and that we just want him to not be able to get enough oxygen. Every time I hear this rant, I note that it is extremely long-winded and that he can get through multiple run-on sentences without having to take a breath. His doctor has even called him personally to lay down the refill schedule and explain the cardiac-related consequences of continued overuse. I receive a voicemail from this patient, in which he goes on with another long-winded rant about how the doctor NEEDS to refill his medication. Because of a very well-documented refill schedule and the doctor’s notes that he will NOT refill early under any circumstance, as well as previous in-person discussions with this doctor about this patient, I don’t even need to ask the doctor to advise on the situation. I see that one [Inhaler #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] should be available for a refill, but [Inhaler #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] won’t be available for another week and a half; he’s literally filled it just a few days ago! I call the patient. This is part of the way into the call, and yes, he is yelling the entire time.)

Me: “With all due respect, the inhalers are only treating your symptoms. Continuing to use them at the rate you were doing so puts you at serious risk for a cardiac event, including a heart attack—“

Patient: “NOT GIVING ME MY INHALERS PUTS ME AT A RISK FOR A CORONARY BECAUSE I’M NOT GETTING ENOUGH OXYGEN. YOU PEOPLE JUST DON’T WANT ME TO BREATHE!”

Me: “Sir, we don’t want you to have a coronary, either, which is why we want to address the root cause of your condition.”

Patient: “NO. YOU STOP THERE. JUST TELL THE DOCTOR THAT HE NEEDS TO MAKE THE PHARMACIST FILL MY PRESCRIPTION! THEN THE PHARMACIST FILL BE REQUIRED TO FILL IT!”

Me: “[Doctor] can’t make the pharmacist do anything.”

Patient: “YES, HE CAN! ONCE HE WRITES THE PRESCRIPTION THE PHARMACIST IS REQUIRED BY LAW TO FILL IT!”

Me: “Sir, [Doctor] is a doctor; he is not a supervising pharmacist. He can only write the prescription. Pharmacies are allowed, by law, to question and even deny prescriptions at their own discretion for patient safety.”

Patient: “DON’T YOU INSULT MY INTELLIGENCE!”

(He didn’t get his inhaler refilled early. I later went down to the pharmacy and told the supervising pharmacist. He found it even funnier than I did!)

[florida80]

An Urgent Need For Details

Extra Stupid, Medical Office, Patients, UK | Healthy | March 12, 2019


(In the UK, doctor appointments are generally booked in advance, although there are a few reserved for people who phone on the day for emergencies. The phone rings.)

Me: “Good morning, medical centre.”

Patient: “I’d like to make an appointment with a doctor, please.”

Me: “Okay, if it’s urgent, I can fit you in today, or if it’s not urgent I have an appointment in two days.”

Patient: “I don’t know if it’s urgent or not.”

Me: “Okay, well, if you give me a brief idea of what it’s concerning, I can help you decide.”

Patient: “It’s private. I’ll only discuss it with a doctor.”

Me: “Okay, fair enough. So, did you need an urgent appointment or can it wait a few days?”

Patient: “I’ve told you I don’t know if it’s urgent or not!”

Me: “As I’ve said, if you give me some idea of what it’s concerning—“

Patient: *interrupting* “It’s private! I’m not telling the receptionist!”

Me: “That’s fair enough but then I need you to tell me whether or not it’s urgent.”

Patient: “How many times?! I don’t know!”

Me: “Okay, I’ll give an example. If it’s just something like a sick note–”

Patient: *interrupting again getting increasingly angry* “I don’t need a sick note!”

Me: “It was just an example to help explain the difference between urgent and non-urgent appointments. If you don’t tell me which you need, I can’t book you in.”

Patient: “Well, how am I supposed to know if it’s urgent or not if you won’t tell me?!”

(They then hung up without ever having booked an appointment, or even given their name. I guess it wasn’t that urgent after all.)

[florida80]

A Rags To Rashes Story

Extra Stupid, Lab, Non-Dialogue, Safety, USA | Healthy | March 12, 2019


My dad likes to share this story of when he worked in a science lab.

There were massive security protocols in place for everything, but one day, a pile of what looked like rags was left in a high-traffic area. People were basically forced to step on the rags to walk through. Nobody seemed to be paying attention to them, or be concerned that they were just lying there.

My dad saw them when he arrived for the day and was finally the one who followed protocol and called it in.

Apparently, the response was something to behold. The lab was shut down. Nobody in the entire lab facility was allowed to leave until they went through thorough decontamination; since it was a high-traffic area, basically everyone had to be considered “exposed” to… whatever it was. Their clothes and shoes were confiscated. People in Hazmat suits came, collected the rags, shut down the wing for decontamination, and left everyone sitting around for hours, unable to do anything or leave.

At the end of the day, an all-clear was given: “We’ve determined that there’s no contamination or exposure from the rags. However, if anyone develops a fungus-like infection or rash, please report it immediately.”

My dad commented, “That’s so comforting to hear.”

The entire staff got to be dragged in for a refresher on safety protocols and “why we don’t just walk through a potential contamination hazard.”



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[florida80]

The Hotel D’Mentia

Assisted Living, Golden Years, Hengelo, Patients, The Netherlands | Healthy | March 11, 2019


(This happens when I am just 17 years old. I get a summer job, one of my first jobs ever, in a retirement home serving coffee and tea in the public living room during the afternoons. This interaction happens with one of the residents. She has Alzheimer’s but I do not know that at the time, and it is one of my first times interacting with someone in that condition.)

Elderly Lady: *very politely* “May I inquire if it is possible for me to stay in the same room one more night?”

Me: *a bit confused, since she lives here* “Um, this is not a hotel, so your room is yours, of course.”

Elderly Lady: “No, I booked a room here and I would like to pay for one more night’s stay, please.”

Me: *still confused* “But this is a retirement home; you live here.”

Elderly Lady: *suddenly a bit shocked and looking around* “Oh, my gosh. I am so sorry; I am in the wrong place! I will go to my sister’s house and stay with her tonight. Thank you.”

(With that, she walks out of the building and leaves me very confused and worried! I realize that this lady does not seem to have a full grasp of the present or reality and I go to find a nurse. I am worried the lady will get lost or injured. The nurse laughs and knows who I am talking about. She says that the lady will come back eventually by herself, as usual. I continue with my tasks but am still worried. When I am almost done with my shift, who would walk in but the elderly lady from before! I immediately walk up to her.)

Elderly Lady: *very politely* “Excuse me. I cannot seem to locate my sister’s house. May I inquire if it is possible for me to stay in the same room one more night?”

Me: “Of course, madam. Your room is ready for you; it is the same room as usual. You are welcome to stay as long as you like.”

Elderly Lady: *enormous smile on her face* “Why, thank you, miss. Such good service. I always enjoy staying here.”

(With that, she happily went to her room. I was so relieved she managed to come back. There was no benefit or point in arguing with her and trying to make her understand her circumstances; it would only make her feel scared, confused, and miserable. I felt that that would just be mean.)

[florida80]

An Ambulatory Story

Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Great Stuff, Hospital, Patients, UK | Healthy | March 11, 2019


(A friend of mine has had problems with a stomach ulcer for some time. Today it’s causing a lot of pain, so he goes into A&E to get it checked.)

A&E Receptionist: “Since you haven’t been to the hospital with this problem for over a year, you need a referral from your doctor in order to be seen.”

(He then leaves, but sits in the car still in the hospital car park to phone the GP.)

GP: “Well, I can refer you, but if the pain is that bad you need to phone [non-emergency urgent care line] to get an appointment straight away.”

(He phones this number and explains all of the symptoms.)

Call Handler: “With the symptoms you’ve explained, you need to be seen straight away. We’ll send an ambulance on blue lights to you now.”

Friend: “I’m in the hospital car park; I can walk to A&E from here.”

Call Handler: “No, absolutely no walking there. We’ll send you an ambulance.”

Friend: “I’m in the hospital car park! I don’t need an ambulance!”

Call Handler: “With your symptoms, you must be transported to the hospital via an ambulance. It’s not safe for you to get yourself there.”

Friend: “I can see three ambulances from here! I can go and over and sit in one if it makes you feel better!”

(They did eventually consent to allowing him to walk the 50 feet back into the hospital himself.)

[florida80]

Take A Breath And Think About It

California, Medical Office, Patients, USA | Healthy | March 9, 2019


(I work at a sleep clinic work with people who have sleep disorders such as apnea and Hypopnea. These disorders, in a nutshell, make a person stop breathing or breathe so shallowly the oxygen in their blood is affected like with apnea. And I get this almost every time I’m working when I put CPAP on a patient!)

Patient: “Excuse me, miss? I can’t breathe with this thing on!”

Me: *after seeing them stop breathing for almost a minute* “Well, you aren’t breathing with it off, either

[florida80]

You’ve Got Male, But Not Babies

Bigotry, Ignoring & Inattentive, Medical Office, Nurses, Patients, UK, Wales | Healthy | March 7, 2019


(I am a trans guy, currently at the doctor’s office for an ear infection. The person I’m seeing about it is the nurse practitioner, our practice’s head nurse.)

Nurse: “Are you sexually active?”

Me: “Yes.”

Nurse: “Is there a chance you could be pregnant?”

Me: “Nope.”

Nurse: “I know your partner is male; you could be pregnant.”

Me: “I’m not.”

Nurse: “Just because you think you’re a man, that doesn’t mean you can’t get pregnant.”

Me: “Not pregnant.”

Nurse: “You still have female anatomy. Quit pretending you don’t. All you people are like this, thinking you can’t get pregnant because you think you’re not a girl. I’m giving you a pregnancy test.”

Me: “I had a hysterectomy last year; my medical records are in front of you.”

Nurse: “That doesn’t matter. You people are all like this. I’m giving you a pregnancy test.”

[florida80]

Having A Hard Time Understanding

Doctor/Physician, Extra Stupid, Hospital, USA | Healthy | March 5, 2019


(I work in a hospital laboratory. One of the tests we do is clotting times in order to monitor dosages of blood thinners. Basically, we do some magic with the blood, and the machine counts the seconds until the specimen is clotted, hence “clotting times.”)

Doctor: *on the phone* “Hey, do you have the results for [test] yet?”

Me: “Nope, but it’s running right now.”

Doctor: “Well, do you have any idea how much longer it’s going to be? The patient is waiting on their next dose.”

Me: “If I knew how much longer it would take, I’d have the results.”

Doctor: “Huh?”

Me: “[Test] is measured in time. The unit of measure is seconds.”

Doctor: “Oh. Well, carry on, then.”

[florida80]

That’s Not How Not Working Works

Liars/Scammers, Lufkin, Medical Office, Texas, USA | Healthy | March 3, 2019


(I work at a multi-doctor cardiology office as a receptionist. This story comes directly from my coworker, who sits beside my station.)

Coworker: “Thank you for calling [Clinic]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I have a return-to-work form that needs to be filled out. Can your doctor get it done for me today?”

Coworker: “Which doctor do you see at our office?”

Caller: “I don’t see anyone up there.”

Coworker: “You would have to be a patient up here for any of the doctors to fill out.”

Caller: “So, they can’t fill it out for me?”

Coworker: “No, you’re not a patient here. They wouldn’t know if you can return to work or not.”

Caller: “Well, can I see one of the doctors today?”

Coworker: “They wouldn’t be able to see you today, no. What do you need the signature for, anyway?”

Caller: “I hurt my leg.”

Coworker: “I don’t think a cardiologist can sign on a leg injury unless it’s vein related. You may need your primary doctor to sign it.”Caller: “I don’t have a doctor. I just wanted someone to sign my letter so I don’t have to work.”

[florida80]

Medicine Prices Can Wind You

Health & Body, Non-Dialogue, Patients, Pharmacy, Revolting, Silly, USA | Healthy | March 1, 2019


I had been having horrible stomach cramps, to the point where I could barely stand. I’ve already had my appendix removed, so my doctor ran a few other tests and determined the pain was from a bowel obstruction. He sent me home with instructions to drink more water and take a laxative and some OTC pain killers.

While waiting in the checkout line with my purchase, several waves of cramps came over me and I started seeing stars. The cashier saw me start to stumble and called for help. More stars appeared before the pain became so intense I passed out.

When I regained consciousness, there was a crowd surrounding me with a mixture of emotions on their faces. Some were concerned, others embarrassed, and others looked like they were trying not to laugh, but none of them are looking at me. I started to sit up and the associate closest to me — the pharmacist who helped me pick my laxative — told me to stay still and wait for the ambulance to arrive.

I asked what happened and the pharmacist blushed deeper. I looked down to make sure I hadn’t lost control of my bladder. I hadn’t, but then I realized my stomach didn’t hurt as much anymore. I made that comment aloud, and some of the crowd laughed. A man from the crowd leaned in and told me that when I hit the floor, I’d released the biggest, loudest, longest fart he’d ever heard out of any human being.

The people gathered around were obviously there to see how I handled the news of my flatulent faux pas. I was terribly embarrassed, but I was also so relieved that I wasn’t in pain anymore, I just laughed until I cried. The ambulance arrived shortly thereafter and gave me the okay to go home. I apologized to everyone in the vicinity and told them I hoped the rest of their day went better than mine.

[florida80]

Medicine Prices Can Wind You

Health & Body, Non-Dialogue, Patients, Pharmacy, Revolting, Silly, USA | Healthy | March 1, 2019


I had been having horrible stomach cramps, to the point where I could barely stand. I’ve already had my appendix removed, so my doctor ran a few other tests and determined the pain was from a bowel obstruction. He sent me home with instructions to drink more water and take a laxative and some OTC pain killers.

While waiting in the checkout line with my purchase, several waves of cramps came over me and I started seeing stars. The cashier saw me start to stumble and called for help. More stars appeared before the pain became so intense I passed out.

When I regained consciousness, there was a crowd surrounding me with a mixture of emotions on their faces. Some were concerned, others embarrassed, and others looked like they were trying not to laugh, but none of them are looking at me. I started to sit up and the associate closest to me — the pharmacist who helped me pick my laxative — told me to stay still and wait for the ambulance to arrive.

I asked what happened and the pharmacist blushed deeper. I looked down to make sure I hadn’t lost control of my bladder. I hadn’t, but then I realized my stomach didn’t hurt as much anymore. I made that comment aloud, and some of the crowd laughed. A man from the crowd leaned in and told me that when I hit the floor, I’d released the biggest, loudest, longest fart he’d ever heard out of any human being.

The people gathered around were obviously there to see how I handled the news of my flatulent faux pas. I was terribly embarrassed, but I was also so relieved that I wasn’t in pain anymore, I just laughed until I cried. The ambulance arrived shortly thereafter and gave me the okay to go home. I apologized to everyone in the vicinity and told them I hoped the rest of their day went better than mine.

[florida80]

Brace Yourself; Parents Are Coming

Crazy Requests, Dentist, Jerk, Patients, Texas, USA | Healthy | February 28, 2019


(I’m a dental assistant at an orthodontics office where we have several locations, but we switch between locations daily. It’s planned out months in advance for scheduling purposes which doctors and team will be at which location. I’m covering phones for some girls that work front desk because the assistants don’t have any patients when this goes down over the phone. A patient’s Momzilla calls.)

Mom: “My son has a broken bracket again. I need an appointment for today to fix it.”

Me: “All right, well, we’re pretty slow for the next few hours at [location], but if you can come in before the afternoon we can see him.”

(I get the patient info to look at the chart and schedule her son.)

Mom: “You make sure the doctor knows this is an emergency. I have had to come in twelve times already to fix multiple brackets, and he only got his braces on five months ago. This is ridiculous; you all are supposed to know what you’re actually doing there. I’ll be at [location that’s closed] in an hour.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that, but [location I’m at] is the one that’s open today.”

Mom: “What? That doesn’t work for me. Didn’t you hear me say this is an emergency? Tell the doctor to come to this office for my son.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we will be getting busy soon, and our doctor can’t just leave for another location. If you can make it to this one today, I’ll schedule that walk-in, but it’s Friday, and the next day we have appointments at that location isn’t until Wednesday.”

Mom: “YOU ARE THE WORST OFFICE IVE EVER DEALT WITH! WEDNESDAY IS TOO FAR AWAY!”

Me: “Okay, well, maybe you should stop letting him have what looks like taffy and caramel popcorn, which we told you he is not allowed to have because it can break his brackets or wire. I assisted the doctor the last three times your son was in, and he also can’t brush out all the bits of those foods from his back teeth, so at this point, there’s nothing we can do if you can’t listen to simple directions.”

(The mom hung up on me, and later called and told the front desk girls that it was no big deal, and they’d just come in on Wednesday.)

[florida80]

Men Are Stupid

Coffee Shop, England, Extra Stupid, Leeds, Nurses, UK | Healthy | February 26, 2019


(I am a male nurse. On my coat is my “Man of Men” pin badge in support of Prostate Cancer UK, since my partner had surgery for prostate cancer in 2018. The badge is of a male stick figure with a smaller male figure within it. Whilst taking my order, a young male barista sees the badge and says:)

Barista: “That badge is really cool; what does it mean?”

Me: “It’s from Prostate Cancer UK. Did you know that it’s the biggest cause of death in men now? Since my partner was diagnosed, I’m keen to support the cause.”

Barista: “Wow… I wonder why it affects so many more men, then?”

Me: “Erm…”

[florida80]

It’s An Inherited Condition

Medical Office, Parents/Guardians, Patients, Silly, Sweden | Healthy | February 25, 2019


(I am a family doctor. A man in his thirties books an appointment because he has felt so extremely tired the last three years. It turns out he has got a job that requires a thorough physical test every year, and he just recently passed one of them, so I am a bit confused about the situation with the extreme tiredness that has lasted so long. I order some standard blood tests just to be sure and continue my conversation with the man.)

Me: “And how does your family situation look?”

Patient: “Well, I got a wife and two kids.”

Me: “All right, and how old are the kids?”

Patient: “Two and three years old.”

(The diagnosis turned out to be parenthood.)

[florida80]

Can’t See Why Some People Become Parents

Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Germany, Medical Office, Optometrist/Optician, Parents/Guardians | Healthy | February 24, 2019


(Ophthalmologist’s offices in Germany have a rotating system of which office has to stay open for emergencies on the weekends. Today, it’s our office’s turn and I’m manning the front desk. A couple comes in with their five-year-old daughter. She has a very red eye and says it hurts a lot. I take their info and ask how long she’s had those symptoms.)

Mother: “I think since this afternoon — a couple of hours maybe.”

Me: “Okay. Did something happen? Did she get something in her eye?”

Mother: “I don’t think so; I was watching her all the time.”

(The mother looks a little annoyed at my questioning and the father just nods, apathetic. I give some numbing eye drops to the girl to ease the pain and send her right to the doctor. My coworker follows in, only to come back out some minutes later looking rather angry.)

Coworker: “Guess what? This girl has a metal splinter burnt into her cornea.”

Me: “She has what?”

Coworker: “Yes, her father let her watch him using the angle grinder without safety goggles.”

Me: “And he didn’t think that might be kind of… dangerous?”

Coworker: “Apparently not. I’m getting the instruments to get the splinter out.”

(My coworker goes back in to the doctor and they start trying to get the metal out. After a while, the couple and the girl storm past me out of the door, the mother looking angry, the girl rather relieved with a patch on her eye, and the father pouting. My coworker and the doctor come out right behind, looking exhausted.)

Coworker: “WOOOOOW!”

Me: “What happened?”

Doctor: “The girl was wriggling all. The. Time. [Coworker] couldn’t hold her by herself, so I asked the mother to hold the girl, too. When I was just about to pick the splinter out, the mother let her wiggling daughter go and said, ‘Oh, no, I almost got a cramp in my hand,’ and I was thinking, ‘Oh, no, I almost impaled your daughter’s eye, but good for you that you didn’t get a cramp!’”

Me: “What caring parents this girl has…”

[florida80]

Keeping Your Patients Straight Is Harder Than It Looks

Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Nurses, USA | Healthy | February 23, 2019


(I’m getting an x-ray done of my back for a suspected back fracture. Essentially, I am in so much pain I can’t stand straight; I’m sort of bending over and favoring one side. The technician is setting me up by the machine but frowns.)

Technician: “Can you stand up straight? We aren’t going to get a clear picture this way.”

Me: *wincing, gasping in pain as I clearly struggle to even stand up* “No?”

Technician: “Oh… Right.”

(She figured out another way.)

[florida80]

The Patient Is Gluten-Free; The Doctor Is Brain-Free

Doctor/Physician, Ignoring & Inattentive, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, Texas, USA | Healthy | February 22, 2019


(I’ve been suffering from chronic pain and fatigue for years, and my GP refers me to a rheumatologist following some concerning test results. I’m in my mid-twenties and walking with a limp.)

Doctor: “You were referred to me because of your test results, but this test often shows false positives. You probably have nothing to worry about. I’ll order you a new series of blood tests. Now, you indicated that you’re in pain. Where does it hurt the most?”

Me: “It varies; some days it hurts–”

Doctor: *interrupting* “Where does it hurt the most right now?”

Me: “Um… here.” *point at my leg* “But the pain moves around. Sometimes it hurts my jaw, my neck, my shoulders… As I wrote on the forms, it’s sort of all over. It makes it difficult to exercise, to cook, or even to write.”

Doctor: *looking at my leg* “It’s probably just a pinched nerve.” *glancing down* “You indicated that you have psoriasis. Is that it?”

(She leans forward without warning and pokes at a patch of dry skin on my leg.)

Doctor: “Does that hurt? It looks bad.”

Me: “Um… No. It itches sometimes, but it’s pretty mild.”

Doctor: “It doesn’t look like psoriasis. When were you diagnosed?”

Me: “When I was a kid, maybe ten or so?”

Doctor: “And what did your dermatologist say at the time?”

Me: “Um… I was ten, so… I don’t really…?”

Doctor: “You should see your dermatologist. And a neurologist for your back pain. I see here that you’re trying a gluten-free diet? That should help with the pain, and your weight, too.”

Me: “I’m not… What?” *confused* “I’m not ‘trying’ a gluten-free diet. I’m gluten-intolerant. I’ve been gluten-free for over a year.”

Doctor: “Right, it should help. Your pain should decrease, and you should start losing weight.”

Me: *frustrated* “As I said, I stopped eating gluten a year ago. It did help. A lot of my fatigue and stomach issues went away. But if it was going to help with the pain, I think it would have done it by now.”

Doctor: “Well, I think you’ll start to see the benefits soon. Anyway, go to our lab. I’m sure we’ll find that you have nothing to worry about.”

(I was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis, an autoimmune disease related to psoriasis. I decided to transfer to a different doctor. I requested a copy of my records to send over, and what I read there only strengthened my decision, since her only notes from that appointment said that I was experiencing minor pain and that I should go on a low-carb diet.)

[florida80]

Good Thing Stupidity Isn’t Contagious, Either

Arkansas, Ignoring & Inattentive, Medical Office, Nurses, USA | Healthy | February 21, 2019


(My wife has been under the weather for a while. They send her home early from work one day, so I take her to our favourite urgent care clinic. They did really well when she had pneumonia last spring, so we have no reason to doubt their abilities this year. But… the nurse is inattentive. She walks in, sits down, doesn’t look up from her laptop while taking history, and then flees as soon as she can. In meanders the “doctor,” a nurse practitioner. I’m sure there are good ones out there, but I’ve yet to meet a truly competent one. He checks her ears, throat, and breathing, all from the outside. I don’t recall him actually looking in her mouth once. We tell him she’s sneezing blood, vomiting mucus, and having intense sinus pressure.)

Practitioner: “Sounds like an asthma flare-up to me.”

Me: *incredulous* “Asthma attacks cause sinus pressure, pain, and vomiting?!”

Practitioner: “Okay, with a minor sinus infection.”

Me: “Really?!”

Practitioner: “We’ll send over an antibiotic and a steroid and give her a shot.”

Me: “For asthma?”

(He is dismissive of my concerns and leaves. One week later, my throat is swollen and sore and I can barely speak. My wife, feeling a little better than me, calls the clinic.)

Wife: “I was in last week and saw your nurse practitioner. He said I was just having an asthma flare-up, but now my wife has it! I didn’t know asthma was contagious.” *pause* “He’s an idiot and you should screen your people better.” *pause* “No. Screen your people. Make sure they know what they’re talking about when they see someone.” *click*

[florida80]

That Is Off The Charts

Extra Stupid, Hospital, Non-Dialogue, Nurses, Ohio, Patients | Healthy | February 21, 2019


I’m an RN who previously worked in a hospital unit where we dealt with concussions. This is the best thing I’ve ever written in a patient’s chart:

“Patient educated on not riding with chainsaw in the uplifted bucket of the Bobcat.”

[florida80]

Doctors Have Homes?!

Crazy Requests, Hospital, Patients, USA | Healthy | February 20, 2019


(I am a resident on long call, staying after all of the other residents leave at 5:00 pm and admitting patients until the night team takes over. Near 8:00 pm, I get a call from the emergency department to admit a patient who was brought from her primary care provider’s office. Her condition is not that serious and she is generally pleasant, except for one thing:)

Patient: “[Attending Doctor] promised me that he would meet me right when I arrived!”

Me: “Oh? When did you speak with him?”

Patient: “When I was in the clinic.”

(Note that that was six or seven hours ago.)

Me: “Oh, well, the ambulance company never tells us a time of arrival, and it sounds like yours was pretty delayed. And the ED doesn’t tell every attending doctor when they admit a patient. [Attending Doctor] likely isn’t at the hospital anymore, but I’m sure he would have been here if he had known what time you were coming.”

Patient: “But he promised that he would be here waiting for me when I arrived!”

(She brought it up over and over again, making sure to interject it after each question she answered. I was a little taken aback by how fixated she was on this, especially considering how calm she was about her actual medical condition, and also by the fact that she assumed doctors don’t have lives and spend all of their copious free time at the hospital instead of with, I don’t know, their families? It turns out [Attending Doctor] was at a meeting and he drove back to the hospital to see the patient when it was done. I’m sure the patient was still upset that he did not use his psychic powers to know the exact time she arrived so he could be at the emergency department doors to greet her.)

[florida80]

Avoid Taking These, But When You Do… Go Crazy!

Doctor/Physician, Extra Stupid, Gothenburg, Medical Office, Sweden | Healthy | February 19, 2019


(I typically never get ill, but when I do catch a bad cold, I tend to get pink eye, an ear infection, and a sinus infection all at once. This happens between Christmas and New Year’s about ten years ago. I’m miserable and decide I need to see a doctor to get some antibiotics. I go to my local health center, but since it is holiday time, my normal doctor is not there. Instead, a temp doctor sees me. At the time I am very overweight.)

Doctor: “You know, you could benefit from losing a few kilos!”

(As if I didn’t know!)

Me: “Okay, but what about my cold?”

Doctor: *while listening to my lungs* “You have really light skin and a lot of birthmarks. Make sure you use sunscreen!”

Me: “Okay, but do I need antibiotics?”

Doctor: “Mmm, but we should only take antibiotics if it is absolutely unavoidable. I’ll give you a prescription, but don’t use it unless you don’t get better in a few days!”

Me: “Fair enough!”

Doctor: *looking through his big book of drugs* “So, how many pills do you need?”

(Yeah, he is serious. He asks me what the dosage is. Then, he calculates from my weight that I should have 21 pills per day! When I protest, he becomes irritated and snarky and gives me the largest dosage in the book.)

Doctor: “Are you happy now? “

(Eh, yeah. Sure! I just left as soon as I could. A few days later, I needed those pills, as I wasn’t getting better. When I spoke to the pharmacy, they were horrified to hear about the 21-pill dosage. They said that they would never, EVER have given me that much. Later, I returned to my regular doctor for a follow-up, and he was just as horrified. He also told me that the dosage I did get was what they give to bad cases of pneumonia. So, yeah, I was cured, but my doctor said that they would never use that doctor again.)

[florida80]

In A Spot Of Bother

Bad Behavior, Doctor/Physician, Extra Stupid, Medical Office, Oklahoma, USA | Healthy | February 19, 2019


(For a month or so, I’ve had a very small lump right at the base of my hairline on my neck. I don’t worry too much about it, as it doesn’t seem to be growing and isn’t painful at all, until one day it very suddenly floods with blood, like a blood blister. I have a very strong family history of melanoma, so anything on my skin that changes color rapidly is cause for alarm, so the next morning I go to the emergency clinic for an opinion as they are the ones that will see me the soonest.)

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Okay, let’s have a look

Me: *tipping my head to show him the lump* “It was the same color as my skin before last night when it turned red like that.”

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Hmm… Well, it sort of just looks like you may have broken a capillary, but because of that, it’s a bit hard to see what might be under it… Oh, and what’s all that?”

(He points to my shoulder, which is healing up after a nasty acne breakout)

Me: “Oh, I went and visited my home state a week ago; I always break out something awful while I’m there, and it’s just healing up. And besides, the lump was there before then.”

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Hmm… Well, I think we should still get you on something for that. That lump could still be acne-related.”

(This seems reasonable enough, so he prescribes me an oral medication for acne and a cream for topical use. He tells me to use both for three days and then come back to check the progress. I do so, and when I return we have the following conversation)

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Oh, your shoulder looks much better!”

Me: “Er… Yeah, well, it’s had a few more days to heal.”

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “So, we should definitely keep you on the acne medication.”

Me: *pause* “Sure.” *with no intention of actually keeping up the entirely pointless medication* “But that lump hasn’t reacted at all.”

(He checks to see that I’m correct)

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Huh! Well, then, do you want it off?”

Me: “Well… I mean, I don’t know what it is.”

Doctor: “Oh, well, that’s called a nevi. It’s just a harmless skin growth for the most part, but given your family history of skin cancer, I very strongly suggest you get it removed.”

Me: “Well… All right…”

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Great! I’ll be right back!”

(He does the procedure right then — which is not fun, by the way — burning off the “nevi” with an electrical current. I’m honestly a bit hesitant, but I don’t want to be that patient that insists I know more than a medical professional. After he’s done, he starts poking me in the shoulder.)

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Oh, what’s this here? You should really get this looked at, too.”

(I think about the spot he’s poking. It’s what I know for a fact is a completely benign mole. It’s perfectly healthy and I’ve had it for ages, and I’m beginning to suspect that this doctor is just of the opinion that I shouldn’t have any sort of blemish anywhere on me.)

Me: “Er… Thanks, but I think we’ll leave that one alone.”

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Are you sure? I really think you should have it looked at.”

Me: *now feeling even more uneasy about the whole thing* “I’ll keep that in mind, but I think we’re done for today.”

Doctor #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “All right, suit yourself!”

(I go home and let the burn start to heal, but I also look up the word, “nevi.” It means, “mole.” I cannot express how much my complaint was NOT a mole. I kick myself for letting this guy burn whatever it was off, but it quickly becomes apparent that what he ACTUALLY did was burn off the layer of skin covering whatever was causing my complaint. There’s still a bump there, and now it’s much more obvious as it’s turned into a bright red nodule. I do the thing you’re not supposed to do and start Googling, as I figure I can’t cause more harm by looking things up. The theory I land on is that the bump is actually an inflamed lymph node — which I did not previously know could be that near the surface — reacting to some previously unnoticed infection. This is further backed up when, after about another week, I start noticing some more lumps further under the skin, as well as developing a headache localized to that side of my head. Finally, I make an actual appointment at my regular doctor’s office and explain the whole story to him. He actually stares at me for a moment after I tell the story.)

Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “He… he tried to burn it off?”

Me: “Yes. So, you know, that particular lump is going to look especially bad, so you might want to look at the others for better reference.”

Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Yeah, I’d better.”

(He comes to the exact same conclusion I did, and further traces the issue to a tooth I was preparing to have a crown put on. I hadn’t connected the two because, while the tooth definitely needs work, it wasn’t really painful so I wouldn’t have thought it was infected)

Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Okay, so… we’re not going to be, you know, giving you any freaking creams for this because, you know, they’re your lymph nodes… I just… God!”

Me: “Yeah, I figured not. Antibiotics, then?”

Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Yes. And we’ll do some blood work too… I just…. He tried to burn off your lymph node!”

(I left feeling rather vindicated, and as of writing this up, my lymph nodes have finally started settling down, and my headache is gone. Would have been nice not to have a chunk of my neck burnt off first, though.)

[florida80]

Sick Of Puns

Bloomington, Indiana, Medical School, Nurses, Punny, Silly, Teachers, USA | Healthy | February 18, 2019


(This happens to my dad when he is going back to nursing school in his sixties — a story in itself! One time a senior nursing instructor visits the class to give a “very important” presentation. This happens in the late 2000s, and both bird flu and swine flu are of major concern at the time as potential pandemics.)

Senior Instructor: *solemnly, and with a completely straight face* “I need to teach you how to recognize the difference between swine flu and bird flu. If it’s bird flu, you need a tweetment. If it’s swine flu, you need an oinkment!”

(The entire class just about busted a gut laughing. My dad said in his entire time in nursing school, this particular instructor was always taciturn and businesslike and NEVER showed this sort of levity, except on this one remarkable occasion

[florida80]

So Many Optometrists But They Can’t See What’s Happening

Bad Behavior, Maine, Medical Office, Reception, USA | Healthy | February 17, 2019


(My family and I have been going to the same optometrist, a family friend who grew up with my father, for as long as I can remember. He finally retires after around 50 years and sells his business to a local chain optometry company. I get one final exam in with my regular optometrist, about five months before he retires, and I run out of contact lenses around two months after he retires. I call up his old office, now owned and operated by the chain and of whom I am now a patient, to order more.)

Me: “Hi. This is [My Name]; I was a patient of [Optometrist]. I’d like to order more contacts.”

Receptionist: “Of course. But before we can order more contacts for you, we’ll need you to come in for an exam.”

Me: “Uh… I’m sorry, why?”

Receptionist: “Your prescription is out of date.”

Me: “I just had my last exam seven or eight months ago. Why do I need another one?”

Receptionist: “Because you are a new patient; the optometrist has to see you before he can order your contacts.”

Me: “Okay… How much is an exam?”

Receptionist: “It will be [amount].”

(My old optometrist charged a little more than half the price that was quoted to me. My vision insurance only covers one exam every twelve months, regardless of who gives the exam, and at the price they quoted me I cannot afford a second exam in less than a year. I explain as much to the receptionist.)

Me: “There’s really no way for the optometrist to order me enough contacts to get me through the last four months before my insurance covers another exam?”

Receptionist: “Let me speak with the optometrist; we might be able to work something out. I’ll have to put you on hold.”

Me: “That’s fine.”

(I am on hold for about 20 minutes, and finally, the line cuts to ringing. A completely different person answers.)

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Thank you for calling [Chain Optometrist].”

Me: “Oh… I was on hold, waiting for a different receptionist to ask the optometrist a question.”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Oh! What was the question, do you know? I might be able to answer it.”

Me: “Whether the optometrist could order me more contacts before I have another exam. I just had one about eight months ago.”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “That shouldn’t be a problem. I don’t know why the other receptionist needed to ask the optometrist that. May I have your name, please?”

Me: “Sure, I’m [My Name].”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *typing audibly* “Okay… Hm, that’s weird.”

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “I don’t have you in my system.”

Me: “That is weird; I thought all my information transferred over fine.”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Transferred? Which doctor did you see?”

Me: “[Optometrist].”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “I’m sorry, I’m not familiar with that doctor.”

Me: “But you guys just bought his company?”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Oh… Oh! Oh, you mean in [Town]?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s the one.”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “You called the [City] location; we can’t order you contacts, but the [Town] location where you’re registered as a patient can.”

([City] is a large city about 60 miles away; [Town] is a small town that is about a five-minute drive from my apartment.)

Me: “That’s what I did; I called [Town], then I was put on hold when I asked to order contacts..”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Ah, I understand. Our home office is in [City], so all hold calls eventually transfer back to us after a certain amount of time.”

Me: “That’s… strange. Could you please transfer me back?”

Receptionist #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Of course. Hold on just a minute, please.”

(I am placed on hold again, again for around twenty minutes. Finally, a third receptionist picks up.)

Receptionist #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “Thank you for calling [Chain Optometrist].”

Me: “Hi. this is [My Name]. I was a patient of [Optometrist]. I called earlier to order more contacts.”

Receptionist #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “Of course. Let me look up your prescription. Oh… You haven’t seen the optometrist yet.”

Me: *sighs* “No, but I just saw my old optometrist about eight months ago.”

Receptionist #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “Well, we can’t order you more contacts until you see the optometrist.”

Me: “Yes, I was told this by the first person I spoke to. She put me on hold to ask the optometrist.”

Receptionist #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : *snorts* “Don’t know why she would do that. She should know we won’t give you any without an exam by our doctor.”

(I have worked customer service for almost ten years, and as such, I don’t want to cause a scene but I am frustrated and this particular receptionist, being so curt with me after the other two were trying to be helpful, irritates me. At this point, including the hold time, I have been on the phone for almost an hour now for what should have been a three-minute call.)

Me: *forcing my voice to be as even as I can* “I’m sorry, let me stop you there. I apologize if I come off as frustrated, but it’s because I am. I have been transferred three times and been on the phone for nearly an hour, and you are the third person I have spoken to. I literally need maybe one full box of contact lenses to get me through four months, as my insurance won’t cover another exam so soon and I can’t afford your exam rate without insurance. Is there really no way for me to get just one box of contacts without seeing your optometrist?”

(There is silence on the line, and I think at first that she hung up. Then, she speaks, very icily and sharply.)

Receptionist #3 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=3) : “That is how we do things here. You know, there are four other optometrists within ten miles of us.”

Me: “I see. I’ll take my prescription information now, thank you. I’ll order my contacts from [Mail Order Contacts Service].”

(The receptionist proceeded to read off my prescription to me rapidly and, again, rather sharply. I managed to write it down, and as soon as she finished speaking she hung up on me. I got some recommendations from family and friends, and four months later I very happily saw a different optometrist, whose employees were sympathetic but not surprised when I told them about my experience with the chain. They told me they already had sixteen former patients of [Optometrist] switch over to them after the chain took over! Not a good look for the chain.)

[florida80]

Their Real Selves Bear Teeth

Dentist, England, Jerk, Liars/Scammers, Ludlow, Shropshire, UK | Healthy | February 15, 2019


(I’m at the dentist, and he suggests I go to the hygienist for a clean, etc. I say okay, though I’m not convinced I need it. I’ve not been to the dentist for a couple of years, but my teeth are in great shape, as I look after them well. The following conversation proves me right, and I have not been back since.)

Hygienist: “You know, your teeth are quite incredibly clean considering it’s been six months since we last saw you.”

Me: “Actually, it’s been two years since you last saw me.”

Hygienist: “Well, you really should have come in before now, then! Your teeth need a clean!”

Me: *long pause* “Goodbye.”

[florida80]

Stuck In A Bloody Cycle

Car, Health & Body, Israel, Non-Dialogue, Police, Police Station | Healthy | February 13, 2019


About twelve years ago I was riding my motorcycle when I got hit by a driver that didn’t look to see whether the road was clear while exiting her driveway. The impact and subsequent fall wrecked the bike pretty badly; the lights and the mirrors were shattered, the rear brake drum had cracked, the clutch got stuck on partially-disengaged, and the transmission got stuck on third. I was okay, aside from a nasty cut on my chin that got the front of my jacket covered in blood.

After checking myself for bodily injuries and concluding that I had sustained none aside from that cut, I exchanged the mandatory details with the woman that hit me, and told her I wanted to contact the police to have an accident report filled. The woman exclaimed that “she had no time for this,” and promptly drove off, leaving her front bumper, which had torn off in the collision, behind. I then found out that I had no battery remaining on my phone.

I just went to the police station to get that report, on that very bike which was somehow still driveable with all that damage. The officer I spoke to was horrified by the way I looked with all that blood, told me that the report could wait, and urged me to go to the ER to get myself examined. When he asked me whether I could get to the hospital myself, I absent-mindedly just nodded and pointed at the helmet I had in my hand. That seemed to satisfy him and I went on my way.

In retrospect, I don’t know what was worse: the fact that I rode a motorcycle in a condition that made it nowhere near legal to be ridden right up to the police station’s front door, or that the officer, who must have assumed that I was involved in a serious crash, was perfectly fine with me riding the motorcycle involved in that very same crash to the hospital.

[florida80]

The Only Time It’s Acceptable To Ask

Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Maryland, Patients, USA | Healthy | February 11, 2019


(My daughter has had an accident at daycare where she smacked her nose pretty hard into the side of a table, so I’ve taken her to the urgent care clinic across the street. Due to the location of the injury, my husband and I have agreed to have them do an x-ray, just in case. Unfortunately, my husband has to return to work, so it’s just me with my daughter. It is important to note that I am also five-months pregnant, and it’s starting to be very obvious.)

X-Ray Tech: “Hi, Mom! We’re all ready to take [Daughter] for her x-ray.”

Me: “Great! Come on, [Daughter]. We’re going to go take a picture of the inside of your head!”

(The tech takes a better look at me, looks down at my rounded belly, looks back up at me, and puts on an impressively good poker face.)

X-Ray Tech: “I’m sorry, but um… I have to ask; is there any chance you might be pregnant?”

Me: “Yes, five months!” *smiles at her for a few seconds, and then the penny drops* “Ohhh, right.”

X-Ray Tech: “I’ll just get one of the nurses to go in with [Daughter].”

(Pregnancy brain is real!)

[florida80]

The Mummy Of All Bad Jokes

Medical Office, Patients, Punny, Seattle, Silly, USA, Washington | Healthy Right Working | February 11, 2019


(I am answering the phone at an OBGYN office when a woman calls to make an appointment.)

Me: “[Office], how can I help you?”

Woman: *sounding a little nervous but also very excited* “Ah, well, I need an appointment. It’s the strangest thing; I went sightseeing a few months ago, to see the pyramids. I thought I got food poisoning or indigestion from eating things I wasn’t used to. But it’s lasted for a few months, and this morning I glanced in the mirror and thought I looked a little heavier.”

(I can see where this might be heading, and am almost giddy because I can’t believe the fantastic joke opportunity I’m about to have.)

Woman: *continuing* “—so I took a pregnancy test. I think I’m three months pregnant!”

Me: *cheering internally* “Well, ma’am, it sounds like did get sick on your trip.”

Woman: “Oh?”

Me: *holding back laughter* “You caught the Egyptian flu. You’re going to be a mummy!”

Woman: *laughs*

Me: “And congratulations. Let’s figure out your due date and get in your with one of our doctors.”

(As soon as I was done with work, I called my parents to tell them; they were also very amused.)

[florida80]

The Mummy Of All Bad Jokes

Medical Office, Patients, Punny, Seattle, Silly, USA, Washington | Healthy Right Working | February 11, 2019


(I am answering the phone at an OBGYN office when a woman calls to make an appointment.)

Me: “[Office], how can I help you?”

Woman: *sounding a little nervous but also very excited* “Ah, well, I need an appointment. It’s the strangest thing; I went sightseeing a few months ago, to see the pyramids. I thought I got food poisoning or indigestion from eating things I wasn’t used to. But it’s lasted for a few months, and this morning I glanced in the mirror and thought I looked a little heavier.”

(I can see where this might be heading, and am almost giddy because I can’t believe the fantastic joke opportunity I’m about to have.)

Woman: *continuing* “—so I took a pregnancy test. I think I’m three months pregnant!”

Me: *cheering internally* “Well, ma’am, it sounds like did get sick on your trip.”

Woman: “Oh?”

Me: *holding back laughter* “You caught the Egyptian flu. You’re going to be a mummy!”

Woman: *laughs*

Me: “And congratulations. Let’s figure out your due date and get in your with one of our doctors.”

(As soon as I was done with work, I called my parents to tell them; they were also very amused.)

[florida80]

Pray They Won’t Be Back(bone)

Australia, Extra Stupid, Hospital, Patients | Healthy | February 8, 2019


(Making bookings for patients is very easy. All I need is the patient’s name, phone, modality, body part, and doctor’s name. I’ve been on the phone for a few minutes. The patient is giving me a rather detailed explanation of why she needs a scan of her back, yet not telling me anything I need to know. I’m polite and don’t interrupt, but I am spending too much time on this call and my coworker needs help with patients lined up.)

Me: “Okay. That doesn’t sound good. Did your doctor want an x-ray, ultrasound, or CT?”

Patient: “Scan of my back. My back.”

Me: “On the form your doctor gave you, did they write XR, CT, or US anywhere?”

Patient: “My doctor’s name is [Doctor].”

Me: “Lovely.” *first piece of information off my checklist, but not what I asked for* “Did they check any boxes? Can you see, ‘spine,’ etc., anywhere?”

Patient: “Yes. It’s so sore. So sore.”

Me: “The paper the doctor gave you. Can you read it to me?”

Patient: “I have a paper. It says nothing.”

Me: *still very polite* “It doesn’t have your name on it? Not the doctor’s name and signature?”

Patient: “Yes, my name is [Patient]!”

(I can’t take it down until I know what they need and what room to start in, so I make a mental note for later.)

Me: “Okay. Now, the paper has nothing on it?”

(I know it’s repetitive, but I have to confirm for what I have to say next if it’s true.)

Patient: “Nothing. There’s nothing!”

Me: “Okay. So, that means its invalid. You’d need to go to the doctor and get him to write you a referral.”

Patient: “It’s here!” *now livid* “No! No. No. It says here!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Patient: “It says XR spline. Yes, s-p-l-i-n-e! Lubosac — My back!’

(I gathered it was an x-ray lumbosacral spine, but don’t you just love how information materialises?)

[florida80]

The Tiger Comment Was A Bit Of A Stretch

Jerk, Medical Office, Nurses, USA, Virginia | Healthy | February 7, 2019


(When I am pregnant with our first child, my husband and I go to a birthing center for all my prenatal care and then for the birth. This birthing center has two midwives. One is a complete angel, but the other is quite difficult to deal with. Partway through the pregnancy, I notice I have gotten a lot of stretch marks on my stomach and am worried that it looks pretty bad. But since my husband hasn’t commented on or acknowledged them at all, I decide they must not be as noticeable as I thought. Then comes another appointment with the difficult midwife. When she sees my stretch marks, she exclaims:)

Midwife: “You look like you got attacked by a tiger! You really need to start working to prevent getting more.”

(She then proceeds to tell me methods to prevent getting more and warning me that they never go away, while I lay there feeling insecure and embarrassed. I look over at my husband to find him looking angry. When he and I get out to the car after the appointment, before we drive off, I turn to him and ask hesitantly and nervously:)

Me: “So… are they really that bad? Like I was attacked by a tiger?”

Husband: *frustrated sigh* “I could shoot that woman.”

Me: “…”

Husband: “I knew as soon as she started talking it would make you feel bad. I so wanted to knock her out or something.”

Me: “You’d never seemed to notice them, so I thought they weren’t that bad.”

Husband: “Of course I noticed them, but I didn’t care! They don’t matter. And I didn’t say anything because I knew it would make you feel bad! I think you are beautiful! The stretch marks really aren’t a big deal.”

Me: “Oh. Thank you.”

(This attitude is only one of the reasons I’m glad to be married to him.)

[florida80]

Sent A Stinging Note

Arkansas, Coworkers, Elementary School, Lazy/Unhelpful, Non-Dialogue, Pets & Animals, Teachers, USA | Healthy | February 6, 2019


My grandmother was a teacher at one of the nearby elementary schools, and at the time she was teaching in this old, wooden building which was located where the playground is now. One day, as she was teaching, a wasp flew in. My grandmother was deathly allergic to wasp stings, so she freaked out, screaming and diving under her desk to avoid it. She ended up writing a note and sent it with a student to the janitor.

The note read, “There’s a wasp in here, and I’m allergic. Come get it!”

The student came back with a reply on the other side of the paper that read, “I know how you feel.”

One of her students killed the wasp for her

[florida80]

Narcotics By Night

Crazy Requests, Indiana, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | February 4, 2019


(The pharmacy where I work is the only 24-hour one in town. We keep all our narcotics in a time-delayed safe that we don’t open at night. The only exception is a few we keep out for hospital patients. One night after 11:00 pm, a lady comes through the drive-thru to drop off a script for one of these medications.)

Me: “We have this in stock and we can have it ready for you around 7:00 am.”

Lady: “I can’t get it now? I’ve been out all day! Can’t you just give me a couple to get me by?”

(I’m thinking, “If you’ve been out all day, why wait until this late at night to get more?”)

Me: “This is in a time-delayed safe, so we can’t fill these at night.”

Lady: “Well, what’s the point in being a full-service, 24-hour pharmacy if you can’t fill prescriptions at night?”

Me: “We can fill most prescriptions at night, but this is in our time-delayed safe which can’t be opened after eight.”

Lady: “I don’t care about anyone else’s prescriptions. This is for me!”

[florida80]

Medicaid: Come Back When There’s More Than One Stomach Hole

Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Lazy/Unhelpful, USA | Healthy | February 3, 2019


(I have been extremely sick with stomach issues for quite a long time, but have had zero luck finding a doctor who will take on a Medicaid patient. One day, the pain after trying to eat something becomes so severe that I ask my grandma to take me to the ER. We go to the main hospital downtown and wait. My mom eventually gets off work and comes to take grandma’s place waiting with me. Finally, after over eight hours, I’m called back. We sit with the doctor and talk about my symptoms: non-stop nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, lack of appetite, exhaustion, unable to keep anything solid down, and so on, getting progressively worse over the course of more than a year. I’ve survived on an increasingly all-liquid diet all that time, so it’s clear something’s wrong.)

Doctor: “Well, you’re young, so I’m not too worried about it. I know you’re in school right now. Remember, your state of mind can really affect your body. Have you been depressed at all?”

(Yep, no tests or anything other than checking my blood sugar and doing a pregnancy and drug screening. I am discharged with basically the advice to try to relax and find a GP to discuss things with. Exactly one week later, I’m at home, and this time start vomiting blood pretty much nonstop rather than the usual intermittent basis. I call the nursing helpline for my Medicaid provider.)

Nurse: “You’re bleeding internally. You need to get to an ER immediately. Do you have someone who can drive you, or should I line up a ride for you?”

Me: “Well, I was literally just in the ER last week.”

Nurse: “Miss, you really need to go back. Is there someone who can take you?”

Me: “Yeah, I know my mom will take me if I tell her. Thank you.”

(Sure enough, my mom came to get me, and we headed for the one hospital in town not part of the network that ran the other one, as it was the local Catholic hospital. I was checked in and taken back within a few minutes, the doctor really listened, and they did tests, giving me meds to help with the nausea in the meantime. Turns out, my H. pylori numbers were practically astronomical, and the ultrasound revealed visible swelling where an ulcer was on the brink of eating through my stomach, in addition to the anemia and high white cell count. I effectively got there pretty much just in time. So, yeah, that’s my story of how most of the medical system wanted to effectively leave me to die just because I couldn’t make enough between my four jobs while going to school, and the one hospital that saved my life. Thanks to a scheduler in the local medical system, I have since found a GP and a GI specialist who are working on the underlying autoimmune issue we’ve since found, as well as getting the stomach issues under control that I was left with due to long-term lack of treatment.)

[florida80]

Medicaid: Come Back When There’s More Than One Stomach Hole

Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Lazy/Unhelpful, USA | Healthy | February 3, 2019


(I have been extremely sick with stomach issues for quite a long time, but have had zero luck finding a doctor who will take on a Medicaid patient. One day, the pain after trying to eat something becomes so severe that I ask my grandma to take me to the ER. We go to the main hospital downtown and wait. My mom eventually gets off work and comes to take grandma’s place waiting with me. Finally, after over eight hours, I’m called back. We sit with the doctor and talk about my symptoms: non-stop nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, lack of appetite, exhaustion, unable to keep anything solid down, and so on, getting progressively worse over the course of more than a year. I’ve survived on an increasingly all-liquid diet all that time, so it’s clear something’s wrong.)

Doctor: “Well, you’re young, so I’m not too worried about it. I know you’re in school right now. Remember, your state of mind can really affect your body. Have you been depressed at all?”

(Yep, no tests or anything other than checking my blood sugar and doing a pregnancy and drug screening. I am discharged with basically the advice to try to relax and find a GP to discuss things with. Exactly one week later, I’m at home, and this time start vomiting blood pretty much nonstop rather than the usual intermittent basis. I call the nursing helpline for my Medicaid provider.)

Nurse: “You’re bleeding internally. You need to get to an ER immediately. Do you have someone who can drive you, or should I line up a ride for you?”

Me: “Well, I was literally just in the ER last week.”

Nurse: “Miss, you really need to go back. Is there someone who can take you?”

Me: “Yeah, I know my mom will take me if I tell her. Thank you.”

(Sure enough, my mom came to get me, and we headed for the one hospital in town not part of the network that ran the other one, as it was the local Catholic hospital. I was checked in and taken back within a few minutes, the doctor really listened, and they did tests, giving me meds to help with the nausea in the meantime. Turns out, my H. pylori numbers were practically astronomical, and the ultrasound revealed visible swelling where an ulcer was on the brink of eating through my stomach, in addition to the anemia and high white cell count. I effectively got there pretty much just in time. So, yeah, that’s my story of how most of the medical system wanted to effectively leave me to die just because I couldn’t make enough between my four jobs while going to school, and the one hospital that saved my life. Thanks to a scheduler in the local medical system, I have since found a GP and a GI specialist who are working on the underlying autoimmune issue we’ve since found, as well as getting the stomach issues under control that I was left with due to long-term lack of treatment.)

[florida80]

Your Throat Is Fine But Your Brain Is Missing

Ignoring & Inattentive, Medical Office, Patients, USA | Healthy | February 2, 2019


(The office I work in is in a larger building with other medical offices in it. I’m walking in to work one day and see an older lady standing in the intersection of two hallways looking lost. I’m not wearing scrubs or a uniform of any kind, but I must look like I know where I am going because she stops me with this:)

Old Lady: “Where do I go?”

Me: “Which office are you looking for?”

Old Lady: “I don’t know; where do I go?”

Me: “Are you seeing a doctor or having a procedure done?”

Old Lady: *motions to her throat* “They’re scanning this.”

Me: *thinking this narrows down the possibilities to two offices* “Do you know what kind of scan, or the name of the office you need to be at?”

Old Lady: “They just told me to come in door B.” *our building entrances are marked with letters* “Where do I go?”

Me: “Well, I work at [Radiology Clinic], so follow me and we’ll see if your appointment is with us.”

Old Lady: “But where do I go?”

(Her appointment was with us, but for the next day. We were able to squeeze her in. It happens way too often that patients come for scans but have no idea what it’s for or which doctor sent them. I would be able to understand getting lost if the offices in our building weren’t so clearly marked and there weren’t maps at every entrance.)

[florida80]

School Is Not Much Of An Improvement Over Hospital

Bizarre, Canada, Hospital, Patients | Healthy | February 1, 2019


(I’m a nurse in a smallish community hospital. A number of our patients are awaiting placement in long-term care and aren’t acutely ill. However, because they’re living in a germy hospital, they’re inclined to pick up bugs, and older folks with cognitive decline can get intensely confused with any sort of infection. One morning, one of our longtime patients, an older, bedridden lady, starts telling us all that she’s on a couch in a schoolhouse in a completely different small town and she needs to get back to the hospital. She laughs at us when we try to explain that she’s already in the hospital, and has a shouting match with her husband when he comes in and tries, as well. Later in the day, I’m doing some charting at the nursing station and answer a phone call:)

Me: “[Floor], [My Name] speaking.”

Patient: “Oh, hi. I’m just calling to let you know that I’m not there today; I’m at the school in [Town].”

Me: “[Patient], you are here today. I saw you this morning. I helped with your bath.”

Patient: “No, I’m not. I’m in [town], but I thought I should call in case [Husband] is looking for me.”

Me: “[Patient], your husband was in this morning. To the hospital. Where you are. In room [number]. Look. I’ll walk down the hall to your room.”

Patient: *laughs* “Okay, you do that; I won’t be there, though.”

(I walk down the hall, while talking to the patient on the cordless extension, and into her room. She sees me and continues talking over the phone to me.)

Patient: “Oh, a girl’s here now!”

Me: *hangs up* “[Patient], that’s me; you were just talking to me.”

Patient: *keeps talking into the phone* “See, I’m in [Town] and I need to get back to the hospital!”

(I gave up; she would not be reoriented. Later, I answered a call from our switchboard, who patched through 911. The patient had called them to ask to be returned to the hospital. I had to go back to her room to talk to the 911 dispatch on her phone and cancel the request. Then I disconnected her phone. This patient is recovered and quite lucid once more.)

[florida80]

Must Not Be The Only One With A Damaged Head

England, Extra Stupid, Hospital, Lazy/Unhelpful, London, Non-Dialogue, UK | Healthy | February 1, 2019


I go to see my dad one day while my mum is away on a trip, to keep him company and to help him get some stuff done. One of the things he wants to do is add new waterproofing strips to the top of his workshop. We set up the ladder and I go up while he cuts some blocks. Rather foolishly, we didn’t do anything resembling good practice while setting up the ladder, a fact that comes back to bite me when I try to climb down it and it slips out from under me. I fall and luckily I land feet-first, but then I tip forward, and this time I land head-first on the patio.

I scream and my dad rushes out. A quick damage assessment has a lot of blood streaming from my head and a small puddle of it on the floor. I should note at this point that my dad and I are absolutely terrible for seeking medical attention. The last time my dad was in hospital he had managed to nearly slice his thumb off, and I, likewise, had not gone to hospital since I was eight. But given the amount of blood, we decide a trip to the hospital might be a good idea.

Since we are close to the hospital, we decide it would be faster and easier to just drive me in. With a towel soaking the blood up, we drive to the hospital and I walk in. It’s worth noting that despite the fact I’m walking, my t-shirt is covered in blood. The towel at my head it quite wet with it, too; anyone with some sense should probably figure I’m an urgent case. The staff who assign severity of cases, however, take a different view on things. First, I have to sit for five minutes, and then I meet with someone to fill out my details before being sent down a hallway to another waiting room. After around five minutes here, the blood loss and shock is getting to me and I literally pass out onto the floor.

According to my dad, I am suddenly swarmed with nurses and doctors, my blood pressure and vitals are taken, and I am shoved onto a bed with a compress applied to my head. At first, however, there is some confusion as to who I am. It turns out the admitting nurse decided my case wasn’t that serious, “because he was walking,” and had listed me as discharged.

I am given a head CT and kept in for six hours of observation, diagnosed with a mild concussion and a large cut to the side of my head, which fortunately closes without the need for stitches. My dad thinks it is hilarious later when a sign on our way out reads, “Would you recommend [Hospital] to a friend?” With the way they handled my case…

[florida80]

Time To Tell Them The Hard, Black Truth

Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, home, Madison, Patients, Roommates, USA | Healthy | January 31, 2019


(My flatmate has been seeing a doctor for heart palpitations and has had to do a number of things to troubleshoot it, including wearing a portable heart monitor. One evening we are hanging out in the kitchen.)

Me: “Didn’t the cardiologist say you have to cut down on caffeine?”

Flatmate: “Yeah, so I stopped drinking coffee.”

Me: “How many cups of black tea have you had today already, though?”

Flatmate: “Six. Why?”

[florida80]

She Has To Live Somewhere Else, But At Least She Will Be Living

Adelaide, Australia, Bad Behavior, Medical Office, Parents/Guardians, South Australia | Healthy Related | January 30, 2019


(I’m sitting in a doctor’s office waiting room with my five-year-old son for a routine checkup. In Australia, legally, you do not have to have your parents’ consent for doctor visits once you turn 16, at which point you can apply for your own medicare card, as well. A young girl around 16 or 17 marches through the door and walks up to the receptionist, followed by an older woman who turns out to be her mother. Her mother is WAILING at the top of her lungs, begging her daughter to stop, asking how she could do this to her, etc., in amongst just screaming randomly. Every kid in the practice bolts to their parents and the adults are left to just watch it all unfold.)

Teenage Girl: “Hello. I’m [Teenage Girl] and I’m seventeen and here for my own appointment.”

(Her mother increases her screeching, now sitting firmly in harpy territory.)

Mum: “I AM HER MOTHER AND I DO NOT CONSENT TO THIS.”

(The receptionist, to her credit, simply checks the young girl in, and she goes to sit down and wait. Her mother, still crying and shrieking, follows her and sits between her and another mum with a toddler who looks horrified.)

Mum: *through hiccups and tears* “Make sure you raise him right, but even if you raise him right, he’ll let some big corporation turn him against youuuu!”

(The other mum gets called in for her appointment and makes a hasty getaway, leaving us to listen to the crazy banshee beg and plead and scream at her daughter not to do this. Honestly, at this point, I think the only thing that could cause this reaction would be an abortion, but ohhh, I was wrong. A very perplexed doctor calls the young girl’s name out, and she bolts into the room. Her mother tries to follow but is stopped by the doctor.)

Doctor: “Do you want your mother with you?”

Teenage Girl: “No.”

(This apparently kicks the crazy into overdrive. The mother starts yelling angrily now.)

Mum: “Well, after you get that poison injected into you, you are not coming home and shedding it all over your sisters! You can find somewhere else to live!”

(The mum made an exit and we all realised she was talking about VACCINES. When her daughter emerged from the room she apologised to all of us, and it looked like she’d been crying. A few people offered her tissues and told her she was a brave kid for standing her ground. She had a quiet talk with the receptionist, who called someone, and when I was leaving the receptionist said she’d called the girl’s father for her. Wherever you are, brave girl, I hope you had somewhere to live, and good on you for making the smart choice!)

[florida80]

Laughter Is The Best Medicine… After Chemo

Cottingham, Doctor/Physician, England, Hospital, Nurses, Silly, UK | Healthy | January 29, 2019


(I have cancer and am at the hospital for a session of chemotherapy. Before I can have the treatment, I have to have blood taken and see the oncologist to make sure that I am healthy enough to take the chemo. A nurse weighs me whilst I am waiting for my consultation, and I am finally called in. The doctor asks how I’m doing, tells me my blood work was fine, and checks my weight with the nurse. She gives him the info, and he drops this gem.)

Oncologist: “Is that weight whilst fully clothed?”

Nurse: *looking incredibly amused* “We don’t strip the patients naked, [Doctor].”

(I went into that session of chemo feeling very upbeat.)

[florida80]

Fighting Tooth And Nail To Get Your Money

Bad Behavior, California, Dentist, Orange County, USA | Healthy | January 28, 2019


(I’m on Medicaid since I’m working at an unfunded startup and don’t have any income — I got a sizable equity stake to compensate — nor does the company offer any insurance. I haven’t been to the dentist in a couple of years since my previous job’s dental coverage expired, and I’ve finally overcome my laziness to find a new one. There are only a few dentists in the area I have moved to in the interim who take Medicaid; I look them up on Yelp just to get a general idea of people’s experiences, and pick the one that had the best reviews.)

Dentist: “Your front top and bottom teeth are clicking against each other, when the top ones should be in front of the bottoms. This is causing your bottom teeth to be pushed out of alignment and is producing some gum recession.”

(This seems reasonable, and I have noticed that the gums around my front bottom teeth are thinning a bit.)

Dentist: “This is a serious problem that you should address immediately. You should set up an appointment as soon as possible for us to get you on [Name-Brand Clear-Aligner Orthodontic Treatment].”

(Denti-Cal, California’s Medicaid dental coverage, isn’t that comprehensive; I doubt they’ll cover a multi-thousand-dollar orthodontic treatment for an adult, and I don’t have that kind of out-of-pocket money at the moment. Also, while this dentist does apparently do both dentistry and orthodontics, from childhood I’m used to seeing a separate orthodontist.)

Me: “Thanks for letting me know, but I don’t want to do that procedure at this time.”

Dentist: “You need a deep cleaning since it’s been so long since your last cleaning.” *shows me x-rays* “If we just did a regular cleaning, we might not get all of this plaque that’s built up under the gum line. I don’t see any infection, but a long-term plaque buildup could lead to one.”

(This also seems reasonable, since it has been a couple of years, and the last time I went that long between cleanings I also needed a deep cleaning. At the time this takes place Denti-Cal doesn’t cover deep cleanings, so I have to cover the $400 charge out of pocket, but figure that’s my burden for waiting so long. Wanting a second opinion on the tooth-alignment issue, I schedule to see my childhood orthodontist when I’m home seeing my parents a few months later. I haven’t seen him in at least a decade, and there’s no chance of him getting any business from me since he’s on the opposite coast.)

Orthodontist: “Your teeth have shifted a fair amount since we last saw you. No, that clicking isn’t ideal, but the gum issues aren’t that bad and aren’t an immediate concern. You should probably address it in the next few years, but I’d recommend seeing someone who only does orthodontics, not a dentist who does orthodontics on the side.”

(Maybe there’s some professional snobbery involved with that last comment, but I’m more focused on the so-called “immediate issue” not being that much of an emergency, which I had suspected. At the next dentist appointment:)

Hygienist: “You know, your teeth are rather discolored. I think you should have us do a whitening procedure!”

Me: “My teeth aren’t that bad, and I’m not that concerned about my appearance. Also, in case you weren’t aware, I’m on Denti-Cal, which I’m pretty sure wouldn’t cover that, and which means I don’t really have hundreds or thousands of dollars to spare on a cosmetic procedure. So, no, I won’t be doing that.”

(Ten minutes later:)

Hygienist: “I really do think you’d look so much better if you got your teeth whitened! We’d do a really good job of it!”

Me: “I already said I both didn’t want to and couldn’t afford that.”

Hygienist: “Okay. Well, the dentist recommends you get a gum irrigation while you’re here, for the infection.”

Me: “What infection?! When I was here last time I was told I didn’t have any, and that I should do a deep cleaning to avoid any notable chance of one.”

Hygienist: “Well, no, you don’t have an infection, but the irrigation would further ensure you don’t get one.”

Me: “I was told last time that a deep cleaning was sufficient, and it seems that it was. I don’t like the insinuation that I have a problem when there’s not actually a problem. If I don’t have an infection, this sounds like an unnecessary procedure, and I’m not paying for it.”

(The hygienist finishes my regular cleaning.)

Hygienist: “Are you sure you don’t want your teeth whitened?”

Me: “No. I do not. Want. My teeth. Whitened. I said that twice already in no uncertain terms. Don’t ask me again.”

(The dentist comes in for the post-cleaning check.)

Dentist: “So, when do you want us to remove your wisdom teeth?”

Me: “Is there something wrong with them?! They came in several years ago, there’s enough room in my jaw for them, and I haven’t had any issues with them to date.”

Dentist: “No, but many of my patients get them removed just to avoid any complications.”

Me: “I’m currently 28. My dad didn’t have his removed until his 50s, and that was in response to some tangible problems he was having. I’m on Denti-Cal, and this probably isn’t covered. I’m not paying that kind of money right now to possibly avoid some problem that may never crop up, or may not crop up for decades. Please stop trying to sell me a bunch of unnecessary procedures, especially when you should know, from my insurance, that I probably don’t have much money to fritter away on things I don’t absolutely need.”

(I am rather annoyed by this whole ordeal, but I make an appointment for six months later since they at least seemed to do a capable job of cleaning my teeth. My usual inertia about switching dentists leads me to not find another one in the interim, so I go back. The cleaning is shorter than usual, possibly since I’ve started using a water flosser in addition to brushing.)

Dentist: “You know, that under-bite hasn’t gotten any better. You should really get [Clear Orthodontics Product].”

Me: “I’m still on Denti-Cal. It’s still not covered as far as I know, and I’m still not in a position to afford that. If and when I do decide to fix the problem, I will see a full-time orthodontist.”

Dentist: “All right, then. Next time you come in, you should do a deep cleaning, because I see some noticeable plaque buildup under your gums.”

Me: “I’ve been using a water flosser for several months now. You showed me the x-rays you took before the cleaning and there were maybe two tiny spots of plaque under all of my teeth put together. While Denti-Cal now covers deep cleanings, I’m not going to do that when there’s absolutely no reason to. I’m sick and tired of being pressured and cajoled into all manner of questionably necessary, or flat-out unnecessary, procedures. No other dentist I’ve ever been to has ever behaved like this. I’m not coming back.”

(I actually didn’t come back this time, and when they called me six months later to remind me of my next appointment, I told them again that I was never setting foot in their door

[florida80]

Must Be One Big Jacket

Bizarre, California, Medical Office, Rocklin, Rude & Risque, USA | Healthy Right | January 27, 2019


(I’ve just asked an elderly patient to remove his jacket so I can take his blood pressure.)

Patient: “Sure. I’ll take all my clothes off, if you want

[florida80]

A Blue Eye For A Broken Tooth

England, Hospital, London, Patients, Silly, UK | Healthy | January 25, 2019


(This happened a few years back. Two of my teeth had cracked and gone completely rotten and required removal. I was put under anesthetic and had the operation. Just after I woke up…)

Me: *pokes holes in mouth* “What… What? Where’re my teeth?”

Nurse: “You just had an operation to remove them.”

Me: *pokes mouth* “What? No… No, I didn’t. I was shopping… Yeah…”

(A bit of a pause. To check my jaw, she makes me bite a bit of cotton.)

Me: “I want my teeth back, please.”

Nurse: “Don’t worry; we have them in a little packet.”

Me: “No… No! I WANT YOU TO PUT MY TEETH BACK!”

Nurse: “I’m afraid that’s impossible. They’re all broken.”

Me: “PUT THEM BACK!” *sits up, throws the cotton at the wall, and then starts crying for no particular reason* “They were killed too soon!”

Nurse: “Don’t worry; they went out bravely.”

Me: “Yeah… The funeral will be so sad… They were so brave! Rest in shade… No… peas… peace!”

(I look at the nurse.)

Me: “Your eyes… Why are they blue? How does it work? They are very blue. Did anyone ever say your eyes are blue? Why are they blue?”

(I don’t remember any of this, but my dad was there and told me the whole thing once the anesthetic wore off. I felt so mortified!)

[florida80]

Must Be One Big Jacket

Bizarre, California, Medical Office, Rocklin, Rude & Risque, USA | Healthy Right | January 27, 2019


(I’ve just asked an elderly patient to remove his jacket so I can take his blood pressure.)

Patient: “Sure. I’ll take all my clothes off, if you want

[florida80]

A Blue Eye For A Broken Tooth

England, Hospital, London, Patients, Silly, UK | Healthy | January 25, 2019


(This happened a few years back. Two of my teeth had cracked and gone completely rotten and required removal. I was put under anesthetic and had the operation. Just after I woke up…)

Me: *pokes holes in mouth* “What… What? Where’re my teeth?”

Nurse: “You just had an operation to remove them.”

Me: *pokes mouth* “What? No… No, I didn’t. I was shopping… Yeah…”

(A bit of a pause. To check my jaw, she makes me bite a bit of cotton.)

Me: “I want my teeth back, please.”

Nurse: “Don’t worry; we have them in a little packet.”

Me: “No… No! I WANT YOU TO PUT MY TEETH BACK!”

Nurse: “I’m afraid that’s impossible. They’re all broken.”

Me: “PUT THEM BACK!” *sits up, throws the cotton at the wall, and then starts crying for no particular reason* “They were killed too soon!”

Nurse: “Don’t worry; they went out bravely.”

Me: “Yeah… The funeral will be so sad… They were so brave! Rest in shade… No… peas… peace!”

(I look at the nurse.)

Me: “Your eyes… Why are they blue? How does it work? They are very blue. Did anyone ever say your eyes are blue? Why are they blue?”

(I don’t remember any of this, but my dad was there and told me the whole thing once the anesthetic wore off. I felt so mortified!)

[florida80]

A Blue Eye For A Broken Tooth

England, Hospital, London, Patients, Silly, UK | Healthy | January 25, 2019


(This happened a few years back. Two of my teeth had cracked and gone completely rotten and required removal. I was put under anesthetic and had the operation. Just after I woke up…)

Me: *pokes holes in mouth* “What… What? Where’re my teeth?”

Nurse: “You just had an operation to remove them.”

Me: *pokes mouth* “What? No… No, I didn’t. I was shopping… Yeah…”

(A bit of a pause. To check my jaw, she makes me bite a bit of cotton.)

Me: “I want my teeth back, please.”

Nurse: “Don’t worry; we have them in a little packet.”

Me: “No… No! I WANT YOU TO PUT MY TEETH BACK!”

Nurse: “I’m afraid that’s impossible. They’re all broken.”

Me: “PUT THEM BACK!” *sits up, throws the cotton at the wall, and then starts crying for no particular reason* “They were killed too soon!”

Nurse: “Don’t worry; they went out bravely.”

Me: “Yeah… The funeral will be so sad… They were so brave! Rest in shade… No… peas… peace!”

(I look at the nurse.)

Me: “Your eyes… Why are they blue? How does it work? They are very blue. Did anyone ever say your eyes are blue? Why are they blue?”

(I don’t remember any of this, but my dad was there and told me the whole thing once the anesthetic wore off. I felt so mortified!)

[florida80]

Allergic To Politeness

Extra Stupid, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, UK | Healthy Right | January 24, 2019


Customer: “I need something for allergies.”

(I show him the selection and he chooses.)

Me: “Are you on any other medication?”

Customer: “None of your business. Give me my tablets.”

Me: “I’m not allowed to sell them to you if there is a chance they could interact with something you are already taking.”

Customer: “Well, f*** you!” *storms off*

Colleague: “You would think he would be wiser after the last time.”

Me: “What happened?”

Colleague: “Our last pharmacist gave in and sold them. He took them while shopping and crashed his car the second he left the car park. He was taking codeine and had a bad reaction.”

Me: “Wow.”

[florida80]

OMG-yn!, Part 2

Czech Republic, Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Jerk | Healthy | January 23, 2019


(I wake up feeling sick. There are explosions of pain in my right side. I try to walk it off but after a few hours my boyfriend decides it’s time to stop playing hero, and he takes me to an emergency room. A receptionist is sorting patients according to their suspected diagnosis — broken bones and physical injuries are sent to the surgical ER, ob-gyn problems to the ob-gyn ER, toothache to the dentist ER, etc. We think it’s appendicitis, so I end up in general ER because we actually don’t know what’s wrong. I am four months pregnant and it’s already starting to show.)

Doctor: “We need to do a test to see if you are pregnant.”

Me: “I am pregnant.”

Doctor: “Riiight. So, we will do the test to see if you are pregnant…”

Me: “I am pregnant.”

Doctor: “Sure. So this test–“

Me: “Which part of ‘I am pregnant’ don’t you understand?”

Doctor: “This test will determine if you are pregnant.”

Me: “Okay, last time: I am pregnant. I’m 17 weeks along. In your right hand is my pregnancy card which confirms my pregnancy, includes all the tests, results, and every check-up I’ve had. I am four months pregnant!”

Doctor: *pause* “Well, why didn’t you say so?”

Me: “Arggggh!”

(She sent me to ob-gyn ER since “irritated pregnant women aren’t her problem.” At the ob-gyn ER, I was told my baby was fine, and since they also agreed it might be appendicitis, they sent me to the surgical ER where they determined it wasn’t appendicitis, but that the cause of the pain was my baby. I had a slightly irritated and swollen appendix, and the position of my son allowed him to kick it, which caused the explosions of pain. Two days of an icepack on my right side and liquid diet, and I was fine.)

[florida80]

Choking With Inappropriateness

Assisted Living, Germany, Golden Years, Patients, Rude & Risque | Healthy Right | January 22, 2019


(I work in a home for the elderly. I have to help an elderly woman to change seats because her left arm and leg are paralyzed. She can stand as long as she holds on to somebody. While I’m transferring her into her wheelchair, she holds onto my neck and by doing so she chokes me. Getting out of breath, I quickly set her into her wheelchair. After catching my breath I talk to her.)

Me: “Miss [Woman], you were choking me.”

Woman: “Oh, sorry. I’ll leave that to your girlfriend.”

(After that I had to catch my breath again from laughing too much.)

[florida80]

Just Tell Them They Will Get Dog Breath

Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, USA, Utah, Vet | Healthy Right | January 20, 2019


(I’m a receptionist for a busy veterinarian office. We have a strict policy of not giving medical advice over the phone for the protection of the patients, as I am not a medical professional; I am a receptionist with zero medical training. A frantic woman calls.)

Caller: “What’s going to happen to me? I used my dog’s toothbrush!”

Me: “I don’t believe anything should happen to you, but if you’re worried, you should call your own doctor for advice.”

Caller: “But don’t you know?! You know about dogs; you should know what will happen to me!”

(Both my other phone lines are now ringing.)

Me: “I cannot give medical advice over the phone. Also, we are a veterinarian. If you need medical advice for people, you need to speak to a human doctor.”

Caller: “But don’t you know? You know about dogs.”

Me: *repeating myself* “I really cannot give medical advice for pets or humans. If you are worried, call your own doctor. Now, I need to answer some other calls.”

Caller: “Okay. I just don’t understand why you can’t tell me what will happen to me.”

(I had to hang up on the woman because she wouldn’t stop whining about it.)

[florida80]

The Fats Fit The Facts

Colorado, Health & Body, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | January 19, 2019


(I am a larger woman, between a size 12-14. I have PCOS which means it can be very hard for me to lose weight. I also exercise four to six days a week (what can I say? I have an endorphin addiction) and eat fairly healthy. I’m just fat, and the weight doesn’t come off unless I absolutely starve myself. Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t believe this, some of which are in the medical industry. Fortunately, my doctor is more than happy with my health. At the beginning of my annual physical, I notice she has gotten a new nurse. The new nurse enters the room, sees me, and stops dead in her tracks. She looks at the file she has with my blood work, and she looks at me. Back to the blood work, back to me.)

Nurse: “Are you [My Name]?”

Me: “Yes.”

(She frowns and excuses herself. Unfortunately for her, she doesn’t close the door all the way, so I can hear her talking to my doctor in the hall. She is telling the doctor she thinks my blood work has gotten mixed up because there is no way I can have the stats I have! My doctor corrects her saying I have a largely healthy body, but all the organs in my lower abdomen hate me. And that was how her nurse learned that fat people sometimes aren’t fat for lack of trying, and that sometimes our stats are just fine, thank you.)

[florida80]

Doesn’t Need A Bank Or A Post Office But A Hospital

Bad Behavior, Bank, Bizarre, England, Health & Body, Patients, UK | Healthy Right | January 19, 2019


(I have been helping a patron set up a direct debit.)

Me: “And is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Patron: “Yes, can I have a packet of first-class stamps?”

Me: “Oh, I’m afraid we don’t offer stamps, but there is a post office just down the road. Just head right as you step outside.”

(Her head does this awkward jerk and she looks around in confusion.)

Patron: “This isn’t a post office?”

Me: “No, it’s a bank.”

(She looks furious, but before she can say anything else, she collapses on the floor. I’m the closest first-aider so I go into action. The door security guard calls 999. It looks like she’s having an epileptic fit, so I try my best to work with my training. I check her handbag for an identity card, but can’t find one. The guard walks over and tells me EMTs are coming just as our manager answers the phone. He looks so confused, but he addresses us.)

Manager: “What’s her name?”

Me: “What? How is that relevant?”

Manager: “I’ve got one of the paramedics on the phone. She’s asking.”

Me: *confused* “[Patron].”

Manager: “It’s [Patron]…” *to me* “She says to put a cushion under her head and check her handbag.”

Me: “Already done. I couldn’t find anything. I don’t know if she’s epileptic.”

(He tells the paramedic.)

Manager: “Was there anything drug-related in the bag? Pills? She’s asking for a colour.”

(I grab the bag and check. There is a small, clear bag in one of the side pockets. I don’t touch it but I can see small, round tablets.)

Me: “They’re pink.”

Manager: “Pin– Oh, they’re already here.”

(Literally as he says this, the EMTs burst through the door, with the woman my manager was speaking to hanging up.)

EMT: “Sorry, once we knew it was [Patron], we knew we had to hurry.”

(I surrender her to the EMTs. After a few minutes and an IV, she comes around. She is laughing and quite jolly with them as they take her away on a gurney.)

EMT: “Thanks for the help. I’ll just need to ask some questions.”

Me: “Sure, but how did you know it was her?”

EMT: “Sweetie, I’ve lost count of the number of times we’ve been called out for her. Now we just take it as standard to call ahead when we’re told it’s a middle-aged woman.”

(I really have to commend them. I can’t imagine having to deal with the same woman time and time again as she slowly destroys herself.)

[florida80]

Can’t Even Blame This One On Pregnancy Brain

Canada, Criminal & Illegal, Extra Stupid, Lab, Ontario, Patients, Toronto | Healthy Legal Right | January 18, 2019


(My coworker is examining pee samples for a patient. They need to pass the drug test to be able to drive a vehicle for work.)

Coworker: “[My Name], come look at this.”

(He hands me the pee sample and the results.)

Me: “Hmm, well, it says here Mr. [Last Name] is pregnant, so unless he’s trans and it’s not on file, I’d say he cheated.”

(I’d doubted anyone would be stupid enough to have a pregnant woman cheat for them but, as it turns out, he was

[florida80]

Just Kill Two Livers With One Drink And Make It An Espresso Martini

California, Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Medical Office, Patients, Sacramento, USA | Healthy Right | January 18, 2019


(I’m assisting our cardiologist today, rooming patients and doing EKGs and such. One patient comes in with a complaint of palpitations. I do an EKG on him which comes out normal, but there’s something off about this guy — he’s practically bouncing off the walls with nervous energy. The cardiologist goes in to see him and I move on to other patients. About half an hour later, they both come out and the patient leaves. The doctor comes over to me with a look of disbelief.)

Doctor: “That guy drinks eighty ounces of coffee a day. Eighty. Eight-zero.”

Me: “Holy cow. No wonder he was jitterier than a junebug.”

Doctor: “And he says he drinks three liters of vodka a week!”

Me: “Oh, my gosh. His poor liver.”

Doctor: “So, obviously, I told him he needs to stop doing that. And you know what he said? He doesn’t want to stop, and he’d rather just take medication for the palpitations!”

[florida80]

If You Want To Stay Sick, Just Cough

Doctor, Medical Office, South Africa | Healthy | January 18, 2019


(Over the festive season, I had become quite ill for a period of about three-four weeks. I visited my doctor, received medication, and got better; then my partner became ill and I became ill AGAIN three days later and had to go back to my doctor. I visited two different doctors working in the same center. Unfortunately, my visits with them have left me a bit… surprised. On my first visit, my doctor is very young, seems a bit spacey, and is new to this practice. My medical aid receipts show her visits are charged at less than half the rate of your standard doctor’s visit, so I am a bit wary. My previous doctor was INCREDIBLE, but had just emigrated overseas, and this is her new replacement that I was referred to.)

Doctor: “So, what seems to be the problem today?”

Me: “I have [symptoms], but I’m most worried about my cough. I’m coughing to the point that I’m crumpled on the floor, until I can’t breathe, and I’m basically just vomiting air.” *I indicate to my ribs* “It’s so bad that my ribs feel bruised from coughing so hard.”

Doctor: “Hmm… All right, I’m going to prescribe you some antibiotics, and some of this [gastro medicine] for your stomach problem.”

Me: “Wait, what? What stomach problem?”

Doctor: “You pointed to your stomach and said it hurts, so I’m giving you [gastro medicine]!”

Me: “I said my ribs are bruised… from the coughing? My stomach is perfectly fine, but I’m really worried about this cough. It doesn’t feel normal.”

Doctor: “Oh… okay, then. You don’t need this. Instead, I’ll give you this.”

(He highlights the cheapest and most generic brand of cough syrup on the market, that I’ve already finished two of in the days leading up to my visit. The next doctor’s visit is almost two weeks later, with a different doctor in the same center. I’ve bought myself generic over-the-counter cough medicine up until I could visit the doctor again. I wait over half an hour for my appointment, by which time their offices should be closed, before I’m called in. At this stage, my cough has returned, and I have hurt my wrist, as it hurts when I put pressure on it.)

Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “How can I help you today?”

Me: *explains all my symptoms again* “—and I appear to have hurt my wrist. It hurts when I apply pressure; I’m worried it might be sprained.”

Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Well, that’s simple. Just don’t apply pressure to it, then!”

Me: “All right? And for my cough? It’s really getting worse, and none of my medicine seems to work.”

Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *puts a bottle of a smaller version of the cheapest generic cough medicine on the counter* “You can take this.”

Me: “Um… I’ve had basically four bottles of this in the last three weeks, and it hasn’t worked. I even have a bottle of this in my bag still. Do you not have anything more specialized, for a deep cough like this? My throat is now raw, I still struggle to breathe because it hurts, and my rib area is still bruised.”

Doctor #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : *huge smile* “Nope! It’s just for symptomatic relief, anyway. This will be fine!”

(I’m still sick, my wrist is still injured, and I’m moving on to my fifth bottle of cough syrup. I’m planning on finding a new doctor soon. For those concerned, the cough syrup is very generic, suitable for toddlers, with no codeine or DXM in it.)

[florida80]

What To Do With The Problem Patients

Extra Stupid, Medical Office, USA | Healthy Right | January 17, 2019


(I am a receptionist for a medical clinic primarily dealing with elderly patients, meaning that they usually need to have everything explained to them slowly and multiple times to fully understand. We have very few patients under 65, and they normally have no problem understanding anything the first time. Or so I thought. This patient calls in after seeing a doctor the previous day.)

Patient: “Hi, I just saw [Doctor] yesterday, and she ordered some labs for me, which I got done, but no one told me what to do next.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that. Normally after you have blood work done, the doctor will call you if there are any abnormal results, or we can book another appointment for you to go over those results.”

Patient: “Okay, but no one told me what to do. I’m in pain now.”

Me: “I understand, but those are the options for following up with lab results. Would you like to book another appointment?”

Patient: “Look, no one told me what to do!”

Me: *thinking doctor noted followup instructions in visit notes that I can relay to patient* “Can I get your full name and date of birth?”

(The patient gives info and I pull up their chart. The patient is definitely not elderly.)

Me: “I apologize, I’m just looking at the doctor’s notes really quick.”

Patient: “This is so confusing; nobody told me what to do next! What do I do?”

Me: “I don’t see any followup notes in here. Would you like me to book you another appointment with the doctor to discuss your labs when the results are in?”

Patient: “Fine.”

(I check the schedule, but due to a shortage of doctors, we can’t get him in for two weeks.)

Patient: “This is so frustrating; I’m in pain now!”

Me: “I apologize. Would you like me to just have the doctor call you when the results are in?”

Patient: “This is so ridiculous. No one told me what to do and I’m in pain. What do I do?!”

Me: “We can book you an appointment or I’ll just have to doctor call you; which would you prefer?”

Patient: “I don’t know what to do; nobody told me anything! What do I do?!”

Me: “Sir, I’ve told you your options on what we can do. We can book you an appointment or I can have the doctor call you. What would you like to do?”

Patient: “The doctor didn’t tell me; WHAT DO I DO?!”

Me: “Sir, I’ve told you what your options are, so I guess I’m not understanding what you’re asking me. I can book you a followup appointment or just have the doctor call you.”

(After going back and forth like this for a few more minutes, the patient grudgingly decides to book an appointment. After struggling to find a time that works for him, we finally get it scheduled.)

Patient: “So, what do I do if I don’t understand something the doctor said?”

Me: *at this point frustrated to the point of shaking* “You should probably ask for clarification on something that isn’t clear.”

Patient: “So, if I don’t get something, I should ask the doctor or nurse?”

Me: “Yes, you should ask questions if you don’t understand something.”

Patient: “WELL, NOW YOU’RE JUST INSULTING MY INTELLIGENCE!”

Me: *head-desk*

[florida80]

Literally Sick Of Your Apathy

England, Hospital, Merseyside, Staff, UK | Healthy | January 17, 2019


(I get very severely sick: throwing up anything I try to keep down and having constant diarrhea. I can barely keep juice down. This is exacerbated by the fact I have costochondritis — the cartilage in my ribcage gets inflamed and swells when I get sick, causing mind-numbing amounts of pain. After three days of this, my family forces me to at least go the local triage center if I won’t go to the doctor. I manage to check in with no problem; there are only a few people there so I figure I’ll get seen pretty quickly. An hour passes with people who were there before me and who came AFTER I came in getting in to see the doctors before me. I’m annoyed but hey, they might have seriously bad injuries I can’t see. Then my stomach lurches and I realise I’m all of a minute away from throwing up again.)

Me: *painfully walking up to the desk holding my ribs and stomach trying not to vomit* “I need the bathroom key.”

Receptionist: *doesn’t even look up from her computer* “No, you don’t. Sit down.”

Me: “I am literally about to projectile vomit. I need the bathroom key now.”

Receptionist: “Sit down. It’ll pass.”

(I barely manage to take another step before I’m forced to bend over and vomit stomach acid and bile on the floor in front of two kids and their mother.)

Woman: “Oh, my god!” *rushes over rubbing my back* “Oh, my god. Are you okay, sweetie?”

Me: *crying and gagging* “Sorry! Sorry, oh, god. I didn’t mean it!” *throws up again*

Woman: “[Son]! Get her some tissues and wipes out of my bag!” *to me* “Oh, it’s okay sweetie; you couldn’t help it.”

(The woman and her son managed to help me clean myself up while the two receptionists did nothing. The nice woman helped me sit down again; after ten minutes someone put a slip hazard over the puddle of my vomit but didn’t bother even trying to clean up. Despite that, it still took another hour for me to finally get seen to and just got some painkillers tossed at me, while told I was imagining my costochondritis and to drink fluids.)

[florida80]

I Don’t Care About You And That’s The Tooth

Dental Clinic, France, Student | Healthy | January 16, 2019


(I’m studying dentistry in France. Like every fourth- to sixth-year students, I work at the dental clinic, which is split into different wards with different dental fields: surgery, emergencies, radiology, etc. The way it is set up is that without A. having been seen in any other ward or B. a letter of referral from your dentist, we cannot remove your tooth, no matter how adamant you are on wanting to have it removed. We’re supervised by professors and have to get an OK from them to do anything, but we do all the work. Unlike most of my fellow students, I don’t take crap from anyone and am not scared to talk back to disrespectful or unruly patients. That led to me being called to talk to them every time one of my friends feel like they can’t handle it and don’t want to call a professor just because of that. Late one afternoon, a guy comes up to the surgery ward wanting us to remove one of his teeth. A friend briefly talks to him then comes and gets me because the guy refuses to understand what he’s telling him.)

Patient: “You gotta remove it! It hurts so bad!”

Me: “I get it, but I just looked at your file and it’s the first time you’ve ever been here. We don’t even have an X-ray or anything. We can’t risk removing anything without one. We don’t know if we can even keep it! It would be a shame to remove a ‘keepable’ tooth. Go to the emergency ward and check with them. If we can’t keep it, then you just come back up and I’ll remove it personally. You’ve got just enough time to squeeze in. They’re gonna close the admissions in, like, ten minutes, but if you get there before, they’ll see you. I’ll even make sure we keep the surgery ward open in case you come back up to us.”

Patient: “But it hurts! I want you to remove it now! I can’t wait at the emergency ward!”

(It should be noted that non-traumatic dental emergencies take weeks, if not months to develop. I have very little patience for people who come in after years of neglecting their dental hygiene and command me to do anything right this instant.)

Me: “I just told you, you have to go down to the emergency ward. They’ll X-ray it and if we have to remove it, I’ll do it. It won’t take more than thirty minutes, wait time included. They’re not especially busy at the moment, and neither are we.”

Patient: “Look into my mouth! If you’re really studying dentistry, you’ll know it can’t be kept!”

Me: “Oh, actually, I’m a liberal arts major doing an unpaid internship. I’m not studying dentistry or anything. I can’t help you. Either you get it X-rayed and you come back, or you can go home, take a big pair of pliers, and remove it yourself, for all I care.”

(He did go and get it X-rayed and it indeed had to be removed, which I obviously could tell before, but I wasn’t able to bend the rules. And even if I were, I wouldn’t have done it for an impolite bastard like him. Of course, if it had been a life or death situation that couldn’t have waited fifteen minutes, I would have done something for him. It wasn’t one of those.)

[florida80]

Casting You In A Bad Way

Denmark, Hospital, Nurse | Healthy | January 15, 2019


(When I was younger, I kept breaking my arms and legs. This takes place during that period. I think that I was about six years old. I break my right leg during gym class and go to the hospital with my parents. I go through the whole process of having doctors look disbelievingly at me, because surely my leg couldn’t be broken from such a minor fall; I have extremely brittle bones. However, the x-rays confirm that my leg is indeed broken and that I will need a cast. Right after the nurse has finished putting my cast on:)

Nurse: “All done. You can go to your own doctor in six weeks to have the cast removed.”

Me: *looking at my mum* “Mum, why is it my other leg that hurts?”

(The nurse had put the cast on the wrong leg! I can’t really blame her though. it was pretty late, and she was probably tired and overworked. I was tired, too. That is probably why I didn’t speak up about it being the wrong leg sooner.)

[florida80]

Can’t Nurse That Gender Stereotype

Bigotry, Doctor, Hospital, Nurse, Slovenia | Healthy | January 14, 2019


(In Slovenia, as elsewhere, the schools to become a doctor or a nurse are different; medical faculty to become a doctor and faculty of health sciences to become a nurse and other health-related professions. I am a woman, studying to become a doctor and attending medical faculty, wearing a badge saying so when in a hospital. I can’t explain how much every time I have this conversation stresses me out.)

Patient: *always a male, sees the badge* “Oh, so you are still in school?”

Me: “Oh, yes, I’m close to finishing medicine actually.”

(We usually use “medicine” instead of “medical faculty”.)

Patient: “So you’re going to be a nurse soon?”

(Or:)

Random Person: *after finding out I’m still a student* “So what are you studying?”

Me: “Medicine, close to being done actually!”

Random Person: “Oh, so why do you want to be a nurse?”

(This always happens with men. Never women. It’s happened to me over twenty times already and I hear the same stories from other female students. I usually try to gently correct them and most are genuinely confused, but you can imagine how the conversation continues with those that are convinced women should only be nurses.)

[florida80]

Just A Spoonful Of Forcefulness Makes The Medicine Go Down

Bad Behavior, Doctor/Physician, Florida, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | January 13, 2019


(I am seventeen years old and visiting a doctor with my dad concerning my severe anxiety problems. My dad has resisted taking me to see any therapy or psychiatry specialists for a long time, but has finally relented after realizing the issues I’ve been having aren’t just “hormones.” To my knowledge, this isn’t at a psychiatrist’s office, but a regular doctor — I think for insurance purposes. The first visit results in an anti-depressant medication for some reason. This first medication makes me less anxious but also causes me to sleep upwards of FIFTEEN HOURS a day, and I am incoherent and running into things, falling over, etc., within twenty minutes of taking it each day. I even have difficulty getting up out of a chair to walk the ten feet to my bed after taking it. I remember falling constantly and being hazy. The second visit results in a different medication that doesn’t have any noticeable effect, and also no real side effects, either. This third visit is the check-in to see how the [second medication] was working.)

Me: “I don’t know that these are working properly. I don’t feel anything different. I’m still anxious all the time.”

Doctor: “So. This medication isn’t working. Why are you depressed? Your mother — she loves you? Your father loves you? Think of happy things.”

Me: “Um. I’m not depressed. I have anxiety problems with insomnia and persistent heart palpitations.”

Doctor: “Okay, so, this medicine isn’t working. We’ll switch back to [first medicine]. [First medicine] worked.”

Me: “It… didn’t work, though. I wasn’t anxious because I was really sedated. I was sleeping almost the entire day and night.”

Doctor: “Yes. So, first medicine worked. Here’s a prescription.”

Me: “I’m not taking that again. It was awful.”

Doctor: “It worked. You will take [first medicine] again.”

Me: “No.”

(The doctor then ignores me completely and turns to my dad, instead.)

Doctor: *oddly firm and creepy* “The [first medicine] worked. She will take it.”

Dad: *pause* “Yeah, okay. Give me the script.”

(My dad took the script and we trashed it when we got to the car. It had gotten to the point where my dad was concerned the doctor was going to claim parental negligence and call CPS on him if he agreed with me! We never went back to that doctor again, and I’ve since had a lot of traditional therapy and am doing much better. Did I mention that doctor owned the pharmacy attached to his office? Shocker.)

[florida80]

Way Past Due For Some Bedside Manners

Dallas, Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Jerk, Texas, USA | Healthy | January 12, 2019


(I am pregnant with my firstborn. After a great deal of reading up on the subject and a conversation with my uncle, a prominent obstetrician, we decide to use a certified nurse-midwife and a birthing center. Unfortunately, the due date comes and goes, despite multiple efforts at bringing on labor naturally, including walks, cohosh, and cod-liver oil. Finally, the midwife sets it up for us to go to the nearby hospital for some Pitocin to be applied topically. By this point, I’ve been lying on a table in a cubicle for several hours and am already stressed out because of the overdue baby and because I’ve had to go to the hospital. I am sure they will make me stay, and I don’t want that. Finally, a resident walks in. He pokes around for a bit.)

Resident #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “How many days past due are you?”

Me: “Nine days.”

Resident #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “You know, the fetal mortality rate spikes after fourteen days.”

(The resident walks out. Later, a different, female resident comes in. She pokes around for a while. Then:)

Resident #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Your cervix is off to the side.”

(The resident walks out. By now, I’m hysterical. Thankfully, the midwife phones right that minute to check on me. I blubber out what the resident said about the cervix.)

Midwife: “She just means that it’s off to the side right now. It will move into position as part of labor.”

(I still think that the first resident’s completely gratuitous information was because he was annoyed that he wouldn’t get to do a delivery. The kicker? My contractions started the minute we were in the parking deck on our way out of there. Our son was born about nine hours later, in the birthing center, with the midwife.)

[florida80]

No Meat In Your Diet Or In His Brain

Doctor/Physician, Ignoring & Inattentive, Medical Office, UK | Healthy | January 11, 2019


(I have a health plan provided by my employer. One of the benefits of the plan is a yearly health check. Once all is complete, I get a call from a “medical professional” to go over the results. I’m pretty healthy except for a bad cholesterol level. After talking on the phone about the rest of the results and my diet preferences, we get to my cholesterol.)

Medical Professional: “Based on the results from the blood sample, we have noticed that you have a very high bad cholesterol level.” *explains the difference between good and bad cholesterol* “…so we really do need to try and bring your bad cholesterol down. We can do this through medication and by controlling your diet. I would start with reducing the amount of red meat and dairy you consume.

Me: “I’m vegetarian, so I don’t eat meat, and I have an allergy to dairy.”

Medical Professional: “That’s good, very good. That’s a good start to reduce your meat intake, and the dairy, like cheese.”

Me: “Well, I’m vegetarian, so my meat intake is zero; I’ve been vegetarian for around twenty years. I’m also lactose intolerant and have an allergy which means I haven’t eaten cheese, milk, or any other dairy, like cream, in about ten years.”

Medical Professional: “Great, so that’s great. It’s settled; you will reduce your red meat and dairy.”

Me: “I haven’t eaten meat in twenty years, and I’ve been allergic to dairy for over ten years.”

Medical Professional: “So, you’ll reduce your meat and dairy? With your cholesterol being so high, I really do think you should consider some diet changes and reduce the intake of meat and dairy.”

(Pause.)

Me: “Could you please help me to understand how to reduce meat and dairy when I haven’t eaten any meat in over twenty years and I haven’t eaten dairy in over ten?”

(After about two or three minutes of being on hold:)

Medical Professional: “I think you should arrange an appointment with your doctor to go over these results, as you aren’t listening my advice.”

(Two weeks later in the doctor’s office:)

Doctor: “You should reduce your intake of meat and dairy.”

Me: “I’m vegetarian; I haven’t eaten meat in twenty years and I have a dairy allergy.”

Doctor: “Well, in that case, let’s go through what other options are available for you.”

Me: “Perfect… Let’s do that.”

[florida80]

No Meat In Your Diet Or In His Brain

Doctor/Physician, Ignoring & Inattentive, Medical Office, UK | Healthy | January 11, 2019


(I have a health plan provided by my employer. One of the benefits of the plan is a yearly health check. Once all is complete, I get a call from a “medical professional” to go over the results. I’m pretty healthy except for a bad cholesterol level. After talking on the phone about the rest of the results and my diet preferences, we get to my cholesterol.)

Medical Professional: “Based on the results from the blood sample, we have noticed that you have a very high bad cholesterol level.” *explains the difference between good and bad cholesterol* “…so we really do need to try and bring your bad cholesterol down. We can do this through medication and by controlling your diet. I would start with reducing the amount of red meat and dairy you consume.

Me: “I’m vegetarian, so I don’t eat meat, and I have an allergy to dairy.”

Medical Professional: “That’s good, very good. That’s a good start to reduce your meat intake, and the dairy, like cheese.”

Me: “Well, I’m vegetarian, so my meat intake is zero; I’ve been vegetarian for around twenty years. I’m also lactose intolerant and have an allergy which means I haven’t eaten cheese, milk, or any other dairy, like cream, in about ten years.”

Medical Professional: “Great, so that’s great. It’s settled; you will reduce your red meat and dairy.”

Me: “I haven’t eaten meat in twenty years, and I’ve been allergic to dairy for over ten years.”

Medical Professional: “So, you’ll reduce your meat and dairy? With your cholesterol being so high, I really do think you should consider some diet changes and reduce the intake of meat and dairy.”

(Pause.)

Me: “Could you please help me to understand how to reduce meat and dairy when I haven’t eaten any meat in over twenty years and I haven’t eaten dairy in over ten?”

(After about two or three minutes of being on hold:)

Medical Professional: “I think you should arrange an appointment with your doctor to go over these results, as you aren’t listening my advice.”

(Two weeks later in the doctor’s office:)

Doctor: “You should reduce your intake of meat and dairy.”

Me: “I’m vegetarian; I haven’t eaten meat in twenty years and I have a dairy allergy.”

Doctor: “Well, in that case, let’s go through what other options are available for you.”

Me: “Perfect… Let’s do that.”

[florida80]

The 1950s Called; They Want Their Medical Results

Bigotry, Hospital, Jerk, Kentucky, Nurses, Strangers, Students, USA | Friendly Healthy | January 10, 2019


(My husband is having a day-long series of medical tests at a Veterans Administration hospital in Kentucky. I drove him there, so I am camping out in the waiting room working on some homework on my laptop for the supply chain management courses I am taking online. I have been working for about an hour and a half when I am approached by an elderly man.)

Elderly Man: “What are you doing on that computer?”

Me: “I am a Transportation and Logistics Management student at [Well-Respected Online college]. I am working on the homework for my supply chain management courses.”

Elderly Man: “Why aren’t you going to nursing school?! Nursing is the only respectable occupation for a woman!”

Me: “What? I can’t qualify for nursing school because I had a stroke a few years ago and my right hand is partially paralyzed.”

(I hold up my right hand and show that I can only use my middle finger and thumb.)

Elderly Man: “But you could be a nurse if you tried harder! Why are you playing with that silly supply chain management stuff? Only men do that!”

Me: “I also have an active Class-A commercial driver’s license to drive tractor trailers.” *reaches into my purse to pull out my license* “I like transportation!”

Elderly Man: “But nurses are so sweet! You should be sweet like a nurse!” *motions to one of the VA nurses*

(The VA nurse chimes in:)

VA Nurse: “I wouldn’t want her as a nurse with that hand of hers. She would never pass nursing school, anyway. I have met [My Name] before, and that woman is planning on going to law school after she finishes her bachelor’s degree because of the way she has argued her husband’s VA disability claim.”

Elderly Man: “How disgraceful! A woman working as a truck driver and wanting to become a lawyer! Why can’t women be sweet and realize their place in the world?!”

(I put my earbuds on and cranked some Bon Jovi on my laptop and tried to ignore the old coot until he was called for his appointment.)

[florida80]

He’s Got A Bad Case Of The Clap

Ignoring & Inattentive, Maine, Medical Office, Patients, USA | Healthy Right | January 9, 2019


(My husband is the customer in this one. He’s at his appointment to check his numbers for high blood pressure to see if he would be okay on his current prescription or not. While it’s important to note that he doesn’t have a hearing problem, he does tend to not listen, and sometimes it can be rather amusing.)

Doctor: “Now, breathe deeply.”

Husband: *does so*

Doctor: “Cough.”

Husband: “Clap?”

Doctor: “Cough.”

Me: “She said, ‘cough,’ dear.”

Husband: “Clap?” *claps*

(All three of us started laughing. The doctor admitted it made her day. I’ve teased him since about putting this online.)

[florida80]

Your Body Needs To Literally Eat Itself Before You Can Take A Break

Bosses & Owners, Canada, Doctor/Physician, Jerk, New Brunswick, Retail | Healthy Working | January 8, 2019


(I have Dermatomyositis. It’s a rather rare autoimmune disease, best simplified as: without medication, my immune system eats my muscle tissue. When the more worrying symptoms appear, my doctor has me go in for a rushed blood test — ten vials — first thing in the morning, and then tries to call me at work that afternoon after she gets the results. I am working at a store, on cash, ringing through customers, and I hear the service desk page the cash supervisor several times over the course of maybe a half-hour, telling her she has a call waiting on the line. I notice the frequency of the pages.)

Me: *thinking* “Wow, I hope she doesn’t have a family emergency.”

(At one point, the cash supervisor comes up to me while I’m in the middle of a transaction and tells me to turn my light off, then stands in front of my counter behind the customer to make sure no one else comes up to my till. Once the customer is rung through and out the door, she hands me a piece of paper with my doctor’s phone number and says I need to call her. My doctor wants to see me right away, which I explain to my supervisor, and she lets me go. I cab down to my doctor, and she tells me I most likely have Dermatomyositis — later confirmed by a muscle biopsy — gives me a prescription, and puts me on sick leave for six weeks, because she wants me to take it easy so that the damaged muscles can heal. All those times I had heard paging for my supervisor to pick up the phone over the course of a half-hour? That had been my doctor trying to get a hold of me, and it took a long time before my supervisor finally answered. Here’s roughly how the conversation went, according to my doctor:)

Doctor: “This is [Doctor], and I need to speak to [My Name].”

Supervisor: “Is this an emergency?”

Doctor: “I am a doctor wanting to speak to my patient. YES, it’s an emergency!”

[florida80]

BMI = Bad Model For Increase

Florida, Jerk, Middle School, Nurses, Patients, USA | Healthy | January 7, 2019


(At the end of seventh grade, I am sent home with a letter from the school nurse stating that my BMI is too high, I’m therefore overweight, and I need to be seen by my pediatrician. My pediatrician tells my mother that since I am extremely active, my diet is healthy, and my weight gain is obviously due to an impending growth spurt, to not worry about the weight for now. Over summer break I grow five inches taller. At this point, I’m looking rather scrawny, as it happens when children have large growth spurts. When school starts back up, I get called back into the school nurse’s office. She starts questioning me as to whether everything is all right at home, how is school, am I making friends, am I getting bullied, etc. She finally gets around to the point that she believes I have an eating disorder! I start laughing.)

Me: “Are you joking? I weigh 150 pounds! You said I was fat three months ago!”

School Nurse: “There is no way you weigh 150 pounds. You’ve obviously been starving yourself to get thin. It’s not healthy to do this to yourself.”

Me: “I’m a runner and play other sports. I grew five inches taller over the summer. I haven’t lost any weight. Got a scale? I’ll prove it.”

(I got on the scale and, lo and behold, I actually weighed 155 pounds. The school nurse thought there was something wrong with it and weighed herself. She weighed me again and realized that it was correct! She couldn’t resolve in her head that at 5’4” and 155 pounds I looked underweight due to my muscle mass versus body fat percentage. She called my mother, at which point my mother yelled at her to stopped harassing me about my weight or she was going to the principal over it.)

[florida80]

Health Care(less), Part 4

Awesome Workers, Doctor/Physician, Insurance, Maryland, Medical Office, Non-Dialogue, USA | Healthy | January 5, 2019


In the spring of 2000, I came down with a cold that lingered nearly two weeks, then got weird. I went to see the doctor and she ordered several tests to be done at the hospital next door to the office building.

It was there that I was told that one of the tests she wanted done — a pulse oximeter reading — required pre-approval from my insurance company, which would take about three days to go through the process.

When I told my doctor about that, she was furious. It was a fairly simple test, but her office did not have the necessary equipment. Once she had a break between patients, she marched over to the hospital and spoke to a friend who worked in the emergency department. She then brought my husband and me through the back hallways to her friend, who placed a clip that looked like a clothespin on my finger. In a couple of seconds, the nearby machine showed the necessary data and I was finished with the test in less than five minutes. I was never billed for it.

It turned out that I had pneumonia. I was sent home with the needed prescriptions and instructions. I was back to normal in a few days.

The next time I went to that doctor, she told me that the office had acquired their own equipment.

It’s now eighteen years later, and her office has several of them. I noticed this morning that you can buy one online for about the price of two fast-food hamburger dinners. And the insurance company had wanted three days before approving the procedure!

[florida80]

Smurfs Versus Gargamel With The Lightning Gun

Bizarre, Dentist, Nevada, Patients, Silly, USA | Healthy | January 2, 2019


(I am getting my top two wisdom teeth removed and the dentist gives me two little pills to swallow in order to get me through the procedure. My father was to this dentist for the same thing about two weeks prior and he had some… interesting hallucinations from it. Now it is my turn. I do remember some of this, but it was retold to me by my wife several hours later after the drugs wore off. This occurs during the time I am in the waiting room until I sit down in the chair.)

Me: “I’m… really feeling it now.”

Wife: “Okay, just lay your head down on my shoulder. They said it should act pretty fast.”

Me: *waking back up a bit* “We almost got them.”

Wife: “Huh? You almost got who?”

Me: “The Smurfs… They’re going rogue… I’m having a war with the Smurfs…”

Wife: “Oh, really?”

Me: “Yeah… yeah… Had to take out Joker Smurf… He was putting down IED presents… A sniper got him… Saved all of us…”

Wife: “Okay, well, just be careful.”

Me: *waking back up again and finding myself shuffling with her help and the nurse* “Brainy… Brainy stole our Blackhawk… I got him with the LAW… Had to blow it up…”

Nurse: *laughing really hard* “What is going on?”

Me: “Smurfs attacked… Brainy stole a helicopter… Gargamel… Gargamel is behind it all… He got big… like a video game boss… Commander killed him with a lightning gun…”

(My wife and the nurse are laughing like crazy as I’m laid back into the chair and start to doze off. Suddenly I bolt upright and look out the window.)

Me: “OH, MY GOD! LOOK AT THAT TURKEY!”

(At this point the dentist has come in and I hear him laughing.)

Dentist: “Turkey? You mean that bush?”

Me: “NO! It’s HUGE! AND PURPLE!”

(I guess I passed back out at that point and they were able to get my teeth pulled with no problems. I remember the Smurf War and could write a book about it, but the turkey thing was new to me. If I ever have to get teeth pulled again, whatever they gave me is what I’d request again! My wife wishes she had recorded it all… So do I.)

[florida80]

How Not To Score Highly

Australia, Doctor/Physician, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, Non-Dialogue | Healthy | December 30, 2018


My partner was applying for a new job which required a drug test. He didn’t have a regular doctor as we had recently moved, so he chose the closest to our house. On entering the doctor’s office the doctor simply asked him, “Do you drink?” and, “Do you use drugs?”. My partner replied, “No,” and was sent home with the doctor’s report.

Needless to say, the workplace required a more comprehensive drug test to be carried out — one with at least a urine sample.

[florida80]

They’re Too Penny Wise

Medical Office, North Carolina, Patients, Silly, Teenagers, USA | Healthy | December 29, 2018


(I am fifteen and skinny, and I keep losing weight, so I have to go to the doctor to be weighed once a month to prove I don’t have an eating disorder and that my ADD medication isn’t screwing up my metabolism. I suspect it IS the medication, but I really don’t want to be taken off it because it helps me enormously, so one day, I get the bright idea to hide sacks of pennies in my clothes to make myself heavier.)

Nurse: “Okay, just take off your jacket and shoes, and step onto the scale, please.”

(When I bend down to take off my shoes, one of the sacks of pennies falls out of my pant leg.)

Nurse: “Oh, what’s that?”

Me: “Um… pennies… because I’m going to the bank later. To turn them in. Yeah.”

Nurse: *still friendly but clearly not buying my bulls*** at all* “Riiight. Got any more?”

(Fortunately, my doctor just laughed and told me not to do it again. A week or so later, my dad went to the same doctor. While weighing him, the nurse told him to take his hand off the wall. My dad jokingly asked if she thought he was trying to cheat, and she told him the funny story of the girl who came in with her clothes full of pennies.)

[florida80]

A Graphic Train Of Thought

England, Patients, Revolting, Train, UK | Healthy | December 28, 2018


I’m notorious for not really thinking before I speak. Some people like it because they can count on me telling the truth, but others hate the fact that I say inappropriate things sometimes.

This is pertinent when I’m on a national rail service train. I have just spent three hours with my dad in an Urgent Care drop-in centre because a relatively recent piercing I got became infected. My mum isn’t with us as she stayed in London while we went to Nottingham.

She calls me on the train to check how I am after my dad texted her before we were seen by a nurse. I tell her the whole story.

As I’m telling it, I start to notice people around me looking uncomfortable, and one man puts his food away. I realise that I’ve just described, in graphic detail, how there had been clear fluid and blood leaking from my ear, as well as how, when I took the piercing out, I lost my grip on the front of the earring and pulled the 3-mm ball through my piercing, making it bleed all the more. I quickly change tack to a more vanilla version of events.

To all the poor people who shared that train with me, I’m deeply sorry for subjecting you to that and putting you off your food. On the plus side, I caught the infection before it got really bad, so there’ll be no even worse stories for me to horrify strangers with.

[florida80]

He’s Crazy, But Can’t Quite Put His Finger On Why

Bizarre, Medical Office, Patients, USA | Healthy | December 27, 2018


(In the middle of a major snowstorm, my fiancé starts feeling incredibly under the weather. Not taking the risk, I get him to the doctor, taking an hour to drive a usual ten-minute drive because of road conditions. I decide to stay in the waiting room and read. It’s just me and the receptionist in the front when a man holding his arm oddly comes in.)

Man: “I’m here for an appointment.”

Receptionist: “Yes, are you…” *trails off and pales* “Uh…”

Man: “I’m [Man], here about my hand.”

Receptionist: “I’m sorry; it says here you cut your finger off?”

(I look up from my book, completely horrified, and now notice the man has a very bloody towel around his hand.)

Man: “I was cutting wood and missed. It’s safer to drive here than the hospital.”

Receptionist: “You need to go to the emergency room right now. I’m calling you an ambulance!”

Man: *turns to me* “She’s overreacting, right?”

Me: *notices he’s carrying a sandwich bag with a FINGER IN IT* “Absolutely not!”

(He kept protesting, but eventually got into the ambulance and left. I told my fiancé about it after the fact, but he’d thought it was a fever dream. The kicker? The doctor’s office was at the top of a hill, while the nearest hospital was maybe half a mile away in a very open area, much easier to get to in snow.)

[florida80]

Getting A Gauge On Nurse Meanie

Canada, Hospital, Nurses, Wild & Unruly | Healthy | December 26, 2018


(I am in the hospital, about to give birth to my son. They have been trying to induce me for three days since I am far past term, the baby is large, and it is time for him to come out. Each time we go in to get another round of the lovely stuff they put up your lady bits to try and start contractions, I have the same nurse. She is terribly mean and has a horrid bedside manner. My hubby and I are very non-confrontational people, so we just deal with it and don’t say anything. Fast forward to day three: my water finally breaks at midnight. We head to the hospital to be admitted. Since it is the night shift, we have a new nurse who is a wonderful girl. She gets me settled and set up with an IV. She ends up having to use a smaller gauge since my veins are sometimes a bit difficult, but it’s no problem. The day shift comes and Nurse Meanie is back. She is in a mood and is fuming that the night nurse used a size smaller gauge on my IV. She then spends the next several hours trying to redo it with a larger-gauge needle. She has my hand wrapped in hot towels for a couple hours to make the veins pop, with no luck. After five failed attempts this way, she takes to slapping the back of my hand to make the vein pop out better. My hubby has had to step out to grab something from home we had forgotten, so I am on my own. My hand is hurting quite a bit and she just keeps slapping and slapping.)

Me: “Can you please just stop? I have an IV and it seems to be okay. That really hurts me. Please just stop.”

Nurse: “No. They never should have done this gauge IV. I don’t know what these young nurses think they’re doing; this is absolutely wrong and I will be having a talk with them.”

(She keeps slapping my hand, and has tried the IV another three times. I am now in tears from the constant poking and the prolonged slapping.)

Me: “Okay, this is enough. Stop it and leave the IV alone!”

Nurse: “No, I have to do this. This gauge is not large enough to administer the meds you need. I have to do it. You’re in labor; you can deal with a few needle pricks.”

(I am now full-on crying, and any sense of being nice is completely gone.)

Me: “That’s it! We are done with this. This IV is fine and I will not allow this to continue!”

(I pull my hand away and she tries to grab it back. I pull it close to my chest and glare at her as best I can. She is more than angry and leaves the room. My doctor comes in a few minutes later to check how I am progressing. Nurse Meanie comes in a moment later and proceeds to loudly explain how incompetent the night nurse was at giving me an IV, and how she has been trying all morning to fix it. She shoots me a look and then tells him that I have been incredibly difficult and refused to allow her to replace the IV. She has the smuggest look on her face and smiles at me, all sickly-sweet. The doctor looks at her as though she’s gone mad. He shakes his head.)

Doctor: “There is nothing wrong with that gauge of IV. I would have recommended the same since her veins are hard to find. I don’t blame her for refusing if you have been trying for hours. There is no problem here.”

(Nurse Meanie’s face looked so angry and embarrassed. She opened her mouth to speak and then shut it. And then she stormed out of the room. The doc turned to me and I just said, “Thank You!” He shook his head and said that he would make sure a different nurse was assigned to me from there on out. Thank goodness

[florida80]

Don’t Get That Mixed Up With The Coffee

North Carolina, Revolting, USA, Vet | Healthy | December 25, 2018


(A worried-looking woman rushes into the vet’s waiting room, pulls out a double-bagged yellow liquid, and tries to hand it to the receptionist.)

Woman: “IS THIS A NORMAL COLOR FOR MY CAT’S URINE?!”

(It was.)

[florida80]

That’s One Prescription Of Holiday Cheer

California, Health Care, Holidays, Nurses, USA | Healthy Hopeless Right | December 24, 2018


(It is just before Christmas and my son’s prescription needs to be refilled. The office gets the prescription written in a timely manner, but then my father is hospitalized. I spend the week bouncing back and forth between the hospital and getting our house ready to move him in. Finally, at the end of the week, I get everything settled so I can run over and pick up my son’s prescription so it can be refilled before it runs out over the holiday. Unfortunately, I arrive ten minutes after the office closes for the holiday weekend. I’m sitting on the curb in the parking lot… exhausted, overwhelmed, and feeling like a complete failure.)

Nurse: “Are you okay?”

Me: “I screwed up. I was supposed to pick up my son’s refill this week so he wouldn’t run out over the holiday. “

Nurse: “Did anyone call you?”

Me: “Yes. I’ve just been in the hospital with my dad all week, and I finally was able to get over here. I forgot the holiday hours. It’s my fault.”

Nurse: “It’s a good thing I came out the front. I usually leave by the back door. Let’s go get his prescription slip.”

(The nurse unlocks the door, takes me inside, and signs over the prescription.)

Me: *still a bit teary* “You are the first thing that has gone right for us all week. I’m sorry I kept you late.”

Nurse: “I’m glad you caught me. Merry Christmas.”

(A heartfelt thank-you to healthcare workers. You do not get the credit you deserve.)

[florida80]

This Practice Is Now Dead To Them

Ignoring & Inattentive, Jerk, Las Vegas, Nevada, Pets & Animals, USA, Vet | Healthy | December 24, 2018


(I have worked at a veterinarian office as a receptionist for the last ten years and know how to read people pretty well. At this particular practice, pets that are getting procedures done are scheduled to be dropped off no later than 8:30 am. This means that by the time I come in at 9:00 am, all the procedure pets are already at the office. The first thing I do is check the schedule to see what appointments are due to come in. A husband and wife come into the office looking visibly distressed. The husband is holding a bundle of towels in his arms very protectively. This is common for people who are coming in with very sick or old pets. I motion for them to come over to my desk.)

Me: “What’s going on there?”

Husband: “This is [Dog].”

(He looks like he is about to cry and doesn’t elaborate the reason for his visit. I remember from looking at the schedule that there is a pet by the same name due to come in to get euthanized. The office has a very strict euthanasia policy. The doctor must examine the pet prior to the procedure, and if the pet appears healthy we will not euthanize. I can partially see the pet wrapped in the towels and can tell that it matches the breed due to come in, but looks it to be healthy. I make a note in the chart so the doctor knows what he is getting into when he does the exam. I motion for them to follow me into the room we leave open for pets that are getting put to sleep.)

Wife: “[Doctor] said we can wait in the office until the procedure is over.” *sniffing into a tissue*

Me: “You can stay as long as you like; there is no rush. If you like you can even stay in the room with her. Let me just get you to fill out the forms, and I will let the doctor know you are here.”

Wife: “We already filled these out.” *barks at me without looking at the forms*

Me: “Okay, let me check your account and see if I can find them.”

(I check the account, and I don’t see any signed euthanasia forms.)

Me: “I am so sorry, but I was unable to find the signed forms. Do you mind filling them out again for me?”

Wife: “Fine.” *goes to sign forms again without looking at them*

Husband: “EUTHANASIA! WHAT THE F***?! [Dog] is here for a [drop-off procedure]!”

Wife: “WHAT?! OH, MY GOD! WHAT THE H*** WERE YOU THINKING?! WHAT IF I SIGNED THAT?! YOU WOULD HAVE KILLED MY DOG!”

Me: “I am so sorry. It was an honest mistake, but don’t worry; we never would have euthanized your pet. [Doctor] always does an exam…”

Wife: “NO! You tried to kill my puppy!”

(Both husband and wife left the room, all the while yelling that I tried to kill their dog to all the other clients in the waiting room. I went straight to the office manager and let her know what happened. I let her know that I didn’t know that there were two dogs that have the same name and breed due to come in on the same day, as well as having a drop-off procedure come in later then is required. I admitted that I didn’t ask the client’s name and that was my mistake. My office manager agrees that it was an honest mistake and anyone would have made the same one. Later an agent from the Better Business Bureau called and took my statement about the incident, and I never heard anything about it again, nor did those clients ever come back.)

[florida80]

Hats Off To Good Drugs!

England, Hospital, London, Patients, Silly, UK | Healthy | December 22, 2018


(I am in the hospital, having an operation on my hand that requires me to be under general anaesthetic. I am fourteen years old and have previously had two generals, so I know I react well, if very strangely. The anaesthetist is prepping me for surgery, with my dad beside me.)

Anaesthetist: “Okay, now the next drug I’m going to give you is this [medicine], which [does something I now can’t remember]. Okay?”

Me: *already a little bit drugged up and very sluggishly cheerful* “Okay!”

Anaesthetist: *barely started administering the medicine* “Right, so, adults often say that it feels like you’ve had a little drink–”

Me: “Oooh, yep, got that! Wooowwwww! Dad, everything’s blurry!”

Anaesthetist: *trying not to laugh* “Yes, sweetheart, it does that sometimes. I always hear that it’s a bit like having alcohol from the adults, and some people say that it makes them feel very happy.”

Me: “It feels like I’ve had alcohol or something!”

Anaesthetist: “There she goes!”

Me: “And I feel really happy! Did you give me something?”

Anaesthetist: “I’m going to put you to sleep now, sweetheart, okay?”

Me: “Okay! See you in a bit! I like your hat!”

(Out like a light. I apologised to the anaesthetist afterward, while still a bit drugged, and asked where his hat was when he came to tell me that I’d made his day. He’d never been wearing one.)

[florida80]

Have A Heart (Attack)!

Jerk, Medical Office, Patients, San Antonio, Texas, USA | Healthy | December 22, 2018


(I work in a clinic that has regular patients who have treatment three times a week, sitting side by side each treatment. We are very short-handed today and I have the section where [Patient #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ], who is very demanding, is located. She wants to get off treatment early, at 1:00. However, right before [Patient #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ]’s turn, [Patient #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] begins to have a heart attack. As the rest of staff is on break, three other nurses and I immediately begin to perform CPR and attend him.)

Patient #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “[My Name], are you still going to take me off treatment at one?”

Me: *obviously doing compressions* “Right now is not a good time; I’ll get to you when I can.”

Patient #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “Well, could you get someone else to get me off treatment, then? Is it so important you need four people there? Where is everyone else?”

(The other nurses and I continue to perform CPR. As one nurse is talking to the 911 operator, [Patient #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] starts bothering the nurse.)

Patient #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “[Nurse], can you take me off treatment? Hello? Are you listening to me?”

(She repeats herself, getting louder and louder each time, but we continue to tell her we’ll get to her when we can. Finally, paramedics arrive for [Patient #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ]. After paramedics take [Patient #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ], we are finally able to return to our other patients. All the other staff who were on break are returning now. I am finally able to get to [Patient #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ].)

Patient #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : *two-faced* “Well, you sure know how to make me late! Is [Patient #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ] okay? I was so worried about him! Did you know his kids were going to visit him this weekend?”

(She continued to tell me all his kids’ business as if nothing had happened. I quietly just took her off treatment because I was so disgusted someone could be so concerned with herself despite the fact that he could’ve died. Thankfully, he is doing well since we acted quickly.)

[florida80]

Welcome To Private Healthcare!

Doctors, Great Stuff, Insurance, Lazy/Unhelpful, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | December 21, 2018


(I’ve recently had to change my health insurance, and I’m still getting used to its quirks. I realize that one of my medications can’t be refilled on this insurance without a Prior Authorization — “PA.” Basically, the insurance wants my doctor to formally request that I be allowed to take it, because it’s a name brand that’s relatively expensive. My doctor sends the PA request in a few days before I have an appointment with him, and I don’t hear much else about it until I go into the office, where my doctor seems irritated.)


Doctor: “So, I wrote a letter to your insurance company for the PA. Actually, I wrote them two letters. They won’t fill your prescription.”

Me: “What? I thought the point of the PA was so they’d fill ones they normally wouldn’t?”

Doctor: “Generally, but sometimes they deny the requests because they want you to try a generic first. When I sent the first letter, they replied with a denial and said that you were required to at least try [Generic #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) ] or [Generic #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) ]. The problem is, they contain [certain progestin], which interacts with testosterone.”

Me: “Which is what I’m taking [Medication] for in the first place?”


Doctor: “Yes! So, in my second letter, I told them that if they couldn’t approve [Medication], I needed anything from a long list I gave them, but specifically any variation that did not include [certain progestin]. And they absolutely will not budge. They sent me a list of more options, and every single one of them contains it.”

Me: “Um. Okay. What does that mean?”

Doctor: *looking like he wants to kill someone* “It means your insurance company won’t let you take any medication except for the kind that will only make your problems worse.”

[florida80]

Maybe The Neurology Ward Has A Telepath?

Crazy Requests, Medical Office, Patients, Texas | Healthy | December 20, 2018


(I work in a clinic with eight doctors in it, and a staff of about 90 between our multiple locations. My job involves acting as the operator, so I am one of three women who answer the phones initially, and usually get this call:)

Patient: “Somebody called me.”

Me: “Who was it, please?”

Patient: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Was there a voice message?”

Patient: “I didn’t check for one.”

Me: “I apologize, there are almost a hundred people who work here. I couldn’t say who tried to call you.”

Patient: “You mean you don’t know?”

Me: “Since you don’t have a name, no, I don’t.”

[florida80]

Scream Bloody Murder

Bad Behavior, Hospital, Nurses, USA | Healthy | December 19, 2018


(I am a female with an incredibly rare type of hemophilia which affects both men and women. I have an upcoming surgery, so the surgeon requests an action plan from my hematologist regarding what to do if things go south during my surgery and what protocols to follow for my post-op care. One directive is VERY clear: I am not to receive any anticoagulant medications unless by some freak medical fluke I develop a DVT, since I do not form hard clots and have prolonged bleeding. This is posted in my room in no less than three places, plus on a red armband I am wearing. First nurse shift, no issues. Then night shift comes on… The nurse comes into my room to give me my medication and I see she has Lovenox, an anticoagulant shot.)

Me: “Oh, I think there was a mistake; I can’t take Lovenox. I have hemophilia. It’s in my chart, over there–” *pointing to the places posted* “–and also on my armband.”

Nurse: *rather snotty tone* “It’s standard for all surgical patients. You need it so you don’t get a blood clot. Besides, girls don’t have hemophilia.”

Me: “Hmm, yes, females can get certain types of hemophilia, as I have one of them, and as I said before, it’s in my chart, posted there, and on my armband.”

(The nurse huffed off. About thirty minutes later, I was dozing and the crazy nurse tried to stealthily give me the shot of Lovenox. I screamed bloody freaking murder and knocked it out of her hand. The charge nurse ran into the room to find out what all the commotion was about. I told her what had happened. She paled and took the nurse out. I didn’t see that nurse again the rest of my stay. A few days later I heard some other staff talking about the nurse who got fired for trying to give some patient medication the patient couldn’t take, after the actual patient told her they couldn’t have it, and then tried to sneak in while the patient was sleeping to give it. I’m still not sure what she thought she was going to accomplish.)

[florida80]

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 14

Bad Behavior, Camp, Criminal & Illegal, Health & Body, USA | Healthy | December 18, 2018


(We had a summer camp cook that was a legitimate threat to our health and safety. Counselors came early to camp to help prepare for the coming kids, and the cook was responsible for feeding us. Just two of her sins were: 1) Food was chilled several degrees above the temperatures required for food safety. 2) She saw nothing wrong with storing raw, dripping meat above uncovered lettuce because the lettuce was going to be rinsed off, anyway. Counselors complained multiple times, but the higher-ups refused to fire her because she had faked her training in food preparation and continued to insist that she knew better, and the counselors didn’t know what they were talking about. Then, there was an incident that couldn’t be ignored. Two counselors were hospitalized with life-threatening conditions. Why?)

Cook: “There’s no such thing as allergies! It’s all in their minds! They’ve been allowed to be picky all their lives, instead of being forced to eat their ‘allergens’–” *actually makes air quotes with her fingers* “–until their body is forced to stop reacting to it and then you can eat it like everyone else! That’s how you get over allergies!”

(Fortunately, the police were very interested to hear that she had been made fully aware of the allergies of everyone at camp, and even MORE interested to hear that she had deliberately slipped the allergens to the unsuspecting counselors. The cook was arrested. As for the rest of us? We have been keeping documentation of the times the higher-ups failed to take action against our many complaints. We have a sizeable file to give to the lawyers of the two counselors who were hospitalized.)

[florida80]

Bittersweet Sweet Tooth

Bad Behavior, Children, Hospital, Patients, USA | Healthy | December 17, 2018


(I’m a student who is doing a clinical rotation at the hospital. We have a mother who brings in her child and is adamant the child must have appendicitis because the child has a horrible bellyache. Everything is normal except the x-ray, which shows a huge amount of stool. We go in to let the mother know the child is just constipated, and she still insists it MUST be appendicitis. The nurse is telling the mother about how to prevent constipation and to increase fluids and fiber, etc. She is quite insistent that her child eats a wonderful diet and this couldn’t possibly be just constipation, and the doctor must be an idiot. It’s not long after Halloween and an idea forms. I ask the child:)

Me: “How much Halloween candy did you eat in the last two days?”

Child: *looks at me and whispers with a big smile* “All of it.”

(Yeah, a bunch of taffy, caramel, and other assorted junk will plug your child up.)

[florida80]

Making Waves About The Flags

Australia, Beach, Extra Stupid, New South Wales, Safety, Wollongong | Healthy | December 15, 2018


(I am a lifeguard. I have a lady come up to me while I am standing between the red and yellow flags.)

Lady: “Where is the safest place to swim on the beach?”

Me: “Between the flags.”

Lady: “No, it isn’t; there are waves there.”

Me: “Yes, that’s normal for a beach.”

(She then points over to a current on the beach.)

Lady: “That is safer, as there are no waves.”

Me: “No, that’s the most dangerous part of the beach, because of the current.”

Lady: *starting to get mad* “I think I should know where is safe, as I’m a lifeguard in Europe!”

Me: “No, that is a very unsafe spot.”

Lady: “I’ll show you.”

(Despite my protests, she swims out to the current, and she ends up getting sucked out the back of the surf and we have to rescue her.)

Lady: “I thought it was safe there!”

(Make sure to swim BETWEEN the red and yellow flags when at the beach in Australia!)

[florida80]

There’s Really Only One Place It Could Be…

Hospital, Oregon, Patients, Portland, Silly, USA |
Healthy | December 14, 2018

(I am in labor at the hospital. My midwife comes in to check how it is going and to feel the baby’s position for delivery. After feeling my belly she says:)

Midwife: “I cannot find the baby.”

Me: “Well, I am pretty sure that he didn’t come out yet, so he must be somewhere inside.”

[florida80]

Urine Need Of An Appointment

Doctor/Physician, Medical Office, Patients, The Netherlands | Healthy | December 13, 2018


(I am still a teenager when this happens. I’ve had several bladder infections, which took a while to diagnose because I am a man, “and men never get urine infections.” Luckily my GP and parents take me seriously after the final diagnosis, so if I feel it coming, I pee in a pot, take it to the GP, and he does the test and gives me the antibiotics. A cause has yet to be found. One day I wake up in immense pain. I suspect bladder infection, but I can hardly squeeze anything out. The result also looks different, and I immediately go to the GP with my parents and my little jar. I don’t have to wait for long, and when the GP sees the little jar, he gets ready for the normal tests. Then… he suddenly turns back and takes the jar.)

GP: “Wait… I officially have to test this, but please go to the hospital right away.”

Father: “What is wrong?”

GP: “It’s a bladder infection, I’m positive but…” *he shows the jar, which holds three separate layers of fluids* “This is blood, this is proteins, and this is urine. It’s not supposed to separate… at all. Please leave right away, while I test this.”

(When I reached the hospital, results were in, a bed was made ready, and I spent a week at the hospital with a very severe bladder infection. I still often feel bladder infections coming, but it turns out my body responds really well to cranberry juice, so I haven’t had any need for antibiotics ever since!)

[florida80]

This Joke Is On The Spectrum

Medical Office, Patients, Silly, USA | Healthy | December 12, 2018


I was diagnosed with Asperger’s when I was fourteen, and I’ve never really seen anything bad about it. I like to make jokes about having it sometimes, too.

Whenever I go to the doctor, I ask if I need any vaccines or shots at the time, and I distinctly remember one of my doctors making a remark on how I’m one of the only people who ask voluntarily. I was fifteen at the time and this doctor works usually with younger patients.

I calmly looked her in the eye and smiled brightly before saying, “I already have autism; what’s the worst that can happen?”

It wasn’t as funny as I thought it was when she assumed I actually thought that vaccines caused autism and started lecturing me.

[florida80]

Just A Spoonful Of Forcefulness Makes The Medicine Go Down

Bad Behavior, Doctor/Physician, Florida, Medical Office, USA | Healthy | January 13, 2019


(I am seventeen years old and visiting a doctor with my dad concerning my severe anxiety problems. My dad has resisted taking me to see any therapy or psychiatry specialists for a long time, but has finally relented after realizing the issues I’ve been having aren’t just “hormones.” To my knowledge, this isn’t at a psychiatrist’s office, but a regular doctor — I think for insurance purposes. The first visit results in an anti-depressant medication for some reason. This first medication makes me less anxious but also causes me to sleep upwards of FIFTEEN HOURS a day, and I am incoherent and running into things, falling over, etc., within twenty minutes of taking it each day. I even have difficulty getting up out of a chair to walk the ten feet to my bed after taking it. I remember falling constantly and being hazy. The second visit results in a different medication that doesn’t have any noticeable effect, and also no real side effects, either. This third visit is the check-in to see how the [second medication] was working.)

Me: “I don’t know that these are working properly. I don’t feel anything different. I’m still anxious all the time.”

Doctor: “So. This medication isn’t working. Why are you depressed? Your mother — she loves you? Your father loves you? Think of happy things.”

Me: “Um. I’m not depressed. I have anxiety problems with insomnia and persistent heart palpitations.”

Doctor: “Okay, so, this medicine isn’t working. We’ll switch back to [first medicine]. [First medicine] worked.”

Me: “It… didn’t work, though. I wasn’t anxious because I was really sedated. I was sleeping almost the entire day and night.”

Doctor: “Yes. So, first medicine worked. Here’s a prescription.”

Me: “I’m not taking that again. It was awful.”

Doctor: “It worked. You will take [first medicine] again.”

Me: “No.”

(The doctor then ignores me completely and turns to my dad, instead.)

Doctor: *oddly firm and creepy* “The [first medicine] worked. She will take it.”

Dad: *pause* “Yeah, okay. Give me the script.”

(My dad took the script and we trashed it when we got to the car. It had gotten to the point where my dad was concerned the doctor was going to claim parental negligence and call CPS on him if he agreed with me! We never went back to that doctor again, and I’ve since had a lot of traditional therapy and am doing much better. Did I mention that doctor owned the pharmacy attached to his office? Shocker.)

[florida80]

Way Past Due For Some Bedside Manners

Dallas, Doctor/Physician, Hospital, Jerk, Texas, USA | Healthy | January 12, 2019


(I am pregnant with my firstborn. After a great deal of reading up on the subject and a conversation with my uncle, a prominent obstetrician, we decide to use a certified nurse-midwife and a birthing center. Unfortunately, the due date comes and goes, despite multiple efforts at bringing on labor naturally, including walks, cohosh, and cod-liver oil. Finally, the midwife sets it up for us to go to the nearby hospital for some Pitocin to be applied topically. By this point, I’ve been lying on a table in a cubicle for several hours and am already stressed out because of the overdue baby and because I’ve had to go to the hospital. I am sure they will make me stay, and I don’t want that. Finally, a resident walks in. He pokes around for a bit.)

Resident #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “How many days past due are you?”

Me: “Nine days.”

Resident #1 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : “You know, the fetal mortality rate spikes after fourteen days.”

(The resident walks out. Later, a different, female resident comes in. She pokes around for a while. Then:)

Resident #2 (https://www.vietbf.com/forum/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : “Your cervix is off to the side.”

(The resident walks out. By now, I’m hysterical. Thankfully, the midwife phones right that minute to check on me. I blubber out what the resident said about the cervix.)

Midwife: “She just means that it’s off to the side right now. It will move into position as part of labor.”

(I still think that the first resident’s completely gratuitous information was because he was annoyed that he wouldn’t get to do a delivery. The kicker? My contractions started the minute we were in the parking deck on our way out of there. Our son was born about nine hours later, in the birthing center, with the midwife.)

[florida80]

No Meat In Your Diet Or In His Brain

Doctor/Physician, Ignoring & Inattentive, Medical Office, UK | Healthy | January 11, 2019


(I have a health plan provided by my employer. One of the benefits of the plan is a yearly health check. Once all is complete, I get a call from a “medical professional” to go over the results. I’m pretty healthy except for a bad cholesterol level. After talking on the phone about the rest of the results and my diet preferences, we get to my cholesterol.)

Medical Professional: “Based on the results from the blood sample, we have noticed that you have a very high bad cholesterol level.” *explains the difference between good and bad cholesterol* “…so we really do need to try and bring your bad cholesterol down. We can do this through medication and by controlling your diet. I would start with reducing the amount of red meat and dairy you consume.

Me: “I’m vegetarian, so I don’t eat meat, and I have an allergy to dairy.”

Medical Professional: “That’s good, very good. That’s a good start to reduce your meat intake, and the dairy, like cheese.”

Me: “Well, I’m vegetarian, so my meat intake is zero; I’ve been vegetarian for around twenty years. I’m also lactose intolerant and have an allergy which means I haven’t eaten cheese, milk, or any other dairy, like cream, in about ten years.”

Medical Professional: “Great, so that’s great. It’s settled; you will reduce your red meat and dairy.”

Me: “I haven’t eaten meat in twenty years, and I’ve been allergic to dairy for over ten years.”

Medical Professional: “So, you’ll reduce your meat and dairy? With your cholesterol being so high, I really do think you should consider some diet changes and reduce the intake of meat and dairy.”

(Pause.)

Me: “Could you please help me to understand how to reduce meat and dairy when I haven’t eaten any meat in over twenty years and I haven’t eaten dairy in over ten?”

(After about two or three minutes of being on hold:)

Medical Professional: “I think you should arrange an appointment with your doctor to go over these results, as you aren’t listening my advice.”

(Two weeks later in the doctor’s office:)

Doctor: “You should reduce your intake of meat and dairy.”

Me: “I’m vegetarian; I haven’t eaten meat in twenty years and I have a dairy allergy.”

Doctor: “Well, in that case, let’s go through what other options are available for you.”

Me: “Perfect… Let’s do that.”

[florida80]

The 1950s Called; They Want Their Medical Results

Bigotry, Hospital, Jerk, Kentucky, Nurses, Strangers, Students, USA | Friendly Healthy | January 10, 2019


(My husband is having a day-long series of medical tests at a Veterans Administration hospital in Kentucky. I drove him there, so I am camping out in the waiting room working on some homework on my laptop for the supply chain management courses I am taking online. I have been working for about an hour and a half when I am approached by an elderly man.)

Elderly Man: “What are you doing on that computer?”

Me: “I am a Transportation and Logistics Management student at [Well-Respected Online college]. I am working on the homework for my supply chain management courses.”

Elderly Man: “Why aren’t you going to nursing school?! Nursing is the only respectable occupation for a woman!”

Me: “What? I can’t qualify for nursing school because I had a stroke a few years ago and my right hand is partially paralyzed.”

(I hold up my right hand and show that I can only use my middle finger and thumb.)

Elderly Man: “But you could be a nurse if you tried harder! Why are you playing with that silly supply chain management stuff? Only men do that!”

Me: “I also have an active Class-A commercial driver’s license to drive tractor trailers.” *reaches into my purse to pull out my license* “I like transportation!”

Elderly Man: “But nurses are so sweet! You should be sweet like a nurse!” *motions to one of the VA nurses*

(The VA nurse chimes in:)

VA Nurse: “I wouldn’t want her as a nurse with that hand of hers. She would never pass nursing school, anyway. I have met [My Name] before, and that woman is planning on going to law school after she finishes her bachelor’s degree because of the way she has argued her husband’s VA disability claim.”

Elderly Man: “How disgraceful! A woman working as a truck driver and wanting to become a lawyer! Why can’t women be sweet and realize their place in the world?!”

(I put my earbuds on and cranked some Bon Jovi on my laptop and tried to ignore the old coot until he was called for his appointment.)