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[florida80]

How I Became a Pharmacist

https://i.imgur.com/7C6kSAK.gif

During my freshman year in high school, my science teacher assigned us to interview people in the community about how they use science in their careers. Although I don’t remember most of the people I spoke with, I can tell you that I spent meaningful time with a local community pharmacist who changed my life.

What I saw was a man who loved his career and truly cared for his patients. In an instant, I knew that I wanted to become a pharmacist, and I never wavered from that goal throughout high school.

Knowing what you want to be when you grow up at age 14 is unusual, but it is very liberating. I simply had to work backwards to figure out how to achieve my goal of becoming a pharmacist.

After high school, I chose to attend Ohio Northern University (ONU) because it had a unique pharmacy program. Rather than attending college for 2 years and then applying to the pharmacy program, ONU students were admitted to the College of Pharmacy from day one.

Although it was expensive, being in pharmacy school from day one and avoiding the risk of rejection made it worthwhile for me.

In college, I spent a lot of time in the library. Although the classwork was difficult, I did well with one exception: organic chemistry.

I did fail organic chemistry—a notorious “weed out” course—but I successfully retook the class over the summer and graduated on time with the rest of my classmates. Failing a course is a difficult stumbling block, but I stood strong and persevered.

Today, I’m thankful for the wonderful pharmacy profession for so many reasons.

First, I’m thankful that community pharmacists are the health care professionals most accessible to the public. If my local pharmacist wasn’t accessible to me, then I likely would have taken a different career path.

Second, I’m proud of the work we pharmacists do, the diversity of our career options, and the relationships we share with our patients and fellow health care providers.

Pharmacy is a profession that makes a real difference in people’s lives. It certainly has made all the difference in mine.

[florida80]

A Spoonful Of Vodka Helps The Medicine Go Down

https://i.imgur.com/6Pjj5z4.gif


(A customer comes to the counter with three boxes of different medicines. I inspect them.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’ll only be able to sell two of these to you. This one should have the same effect and this one… I would recommend putting this one back.”

Customer: “Just sell me all of them.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

Customer: *huffs* “Just put them through separately. The register should let you do it.”

Me: “No. I’m not legally allowed to sell you all three. It could be life-threatening if you take all of them at once.”

Customer: “No, it isn’t. I have a friend who mixes them all the time and chugs a load of vodka. Knocks her out for several hours. Great stuff!”

Me: “…”

Customer: “I… I shouldn’t have told you that?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “You’re refusing my service?”

Me: “I’m afraid so.”

Customer: *leaves looking utterly distraught*

[florida80]

The Patients Are Not Patient


https://i.imgur.com/BCPo1E6.gif

(I drop off a prescription at the pharmacy counter.)

Pharmacist: “We’re pretty busy. Do you want to wait or come back in about an hour?”

Me: “I have some other errands to run. I’ll come back around 1:30.”

Pharmacist: “That should be fine.”

(I come back about 1:40. The woman ahead of me in line at the pick-up counter is obviously angry and snarking at the shy, young pharmacist. Eventually, she steams off.)

Me: “Hi. Do you have a prescription ready for [My Name]?”

Pharmacist: “I’m so sorry. We’ve been really busy. It will probably be another fifteen minutes or so. Would you like us to deliver it to your home?”

Me: “Oh, no. That’s fine. I’ll just run over to [supermarket] and come back.”

(About twenty minutes later:)

Pharmacist: “We’re just getting your order together. Do you mind having a seat for a couple of minutes?”

Me: “No problem.”

(A few minutes later, she calls me up to get my prescription.)

Pharmacist: “Thank you so much for being so patient. I’ve already had two people yell at me today.”

Me: “No problem. It’s not like it was your fault.”

Pharmacist: “They don’t seem to care about that. Thank you so much again.”

Me: “Hope your day gets better.”

[florida80]

Copay And Say Over Again

Bizarre, Illinois, Insurance, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | March 14, 2019


(My insurance company has decided to stop covering one of my prescriptions for unknown reasons. I get a notice from them on a Friday afternoon, as well as an email from the pharmacy, that the prescription in question is due for a refill. Since it’s Friday at three pm, I figure I’ll just pay the cash price for it this month and call my insurance company next week. I click the link in the email to refill and go back to work. An hour later, I get a text update saying the prescription has been put on hold. I call my pharmacy.)

Me: “Hi. My name is [My Name], and I’m calling regarding my prescription I just sent for a refill.”

Rep #1: “Sure, I’ll look at that… Oh, it looks like your insurance won’t cover it for whatever reason.”

Me: “I know. I’ll just pay the cash price this month. How much will it be?”

Rep #1: *timidly* “[Amount].”

Me: “Okay, that’s fine. When can I pick it up?”

Rep #1: “You’re going to pay it?”

Me: “Well, sure. What other option do I have?”

Rep #1: “Oh… okay! I’ll finish it up for you. It should be ready in thirty minutes.”

Me: “Great. Thanks!”

(After I get out of work, I stop by the pharmacy. There’s a different rep behind the counter.)

Me: “Hi, I’m [My Name], and I believe there’s one prescription ready for me.”

Rep #2: “Okay, I see that here. Hmm… looks like there’s a copay.”

Me: “I know.”

Rep #2: “There shouldn’t be.”

Me: “They already told me. [Amount], right?”

Rep #2: “Let me look into this.”

Me: “It’s okay. My insurance company screwed up. I’ll call them on Monday.”

Rep #2: “You shouldn’t have to pay for this. There’s never a copay on [prescription].”

Me: *slightly irritated that he just announced what I’m taking to the entire pharmacy* “It’s fine. Really. Can I just pay?”

Rep #2: “I can give you a discount.”

Me: “The copay’s not that bad. It’s been a long day and I’d really like to pay and go home.”

Rep #2: “If you’re sure… Okay, I’ll put it in. I’ll even throw on that discount. If you want to have a seat, I’ll holler when it’s ready.”

Me: “Uh… the lady I talked to earlier said it’d be ready by now.”

Rep #2: “No, we were waiting until you stopped in. It’ll only be about twenty minutes.”

(I’m extremely annoyed now, but I’m trying my best not to show it.)

Me: “Look, I’ll just come back tomorrow. No problem.”

Rep #2: “It’s only twenty minutes. Maybe less!”

(I wave and walk out. I drive back over the next day, where there is yet another rep behind the counter.)

Me: “Hi, I’m [My Name], and there should be one ready for me.”

Rep #3: “Yes, it’s filled and ready to go. One minute while I grab it!”

(He grabs it and starts ringing me out.)

Rep #3: “Oh, um… I need to get the pharmacist. Something isn’t correct.”

Me: “If it’s the copay, I know about it! It’s not an issue!”

([Rep #3] disappears into the back. I throw up my hands in frustration. He comes back out a few minutes later.)

Rep #3: “There’s a copay on this. There shouldn’t be. We can look into this for you.”

Me: “LISTEN TO ME. You are the third person that I’ve explained this to. I know about the copay. It’s fine. My insurance company screwed up. All I want to do is pay and go home!”

Rep #3: “I apologize for the issue. I don’t know what happened with your insurance… Hold on. Did you say you are going to pay?!”

Me: *through gritted teeth* “YES.”

Rep #3: “Oh. OH! Yes, I’d be happy to process that for you! No problem!”

https://i.imgur.com/0iXaYYq.gif

(I can only imagine how many temper tantrums people have thrown over copays to prompt that reaction from THREE pharmacy techs!)

[florida80]

Your Excuse Is Not A Feint

Jerk, Pharmacy, UK | Right | March 12, 2019


(I’m in line in the pharmacy waiting for my prescription. There are elderly gentlemen in front of me and behind me. The pharmacist is at the counter with a new trainee. All of a sudden, an old lady at the front of the store faints.)

Pharmacist: *to trainee* “I’m going to help, but don’t give this medication out until I get back, because I haven’t signed it yet.”

(The pharmacist goes to the front to assist the old lady and another worker whilst paging for the manager.)

Elderly Man: *in front to trainee* “That’s mine. Give that to me.”

Trainee: “I’m really sorry, sir, but the pharmacist is just helping another customer and I can’t give it out until he’s signed it.”

Elderly Man: “Can’t you sign it?”

Trainee: “Unfortunately, I can’t because I’m training and it’s only my first day, but I can ring your other goods up while you wait.” *indicates to his basket*

Elderly Man: “But I’ve been waiting for ages and this is ridiculous!”

(Strictly speaking, this is not true; he went into the store in front of me and we’ve only been here less than five minutes.)

Elderly Man: “Where’s your manager?”

Trainee: “The manager is up at the front with the other customer. The pharmacist shouldn’t be long back now that she’s arrived.”

Elderly Man: “This is ridiculous. I’m a customer, too!”

(The trainee looks close to tears and I can’t take his behaviour anymore. We can all see the sick customer at the front, as it’s a small store.)

Me: “She’s just given you a perfectly reasonable excuse why she can’t give you the medication, and you can see why the pharmacist and other staff are busy. You need to stop being rude to her.”

(The man just harrumphs at me. The pharmacist returns and deals with the grumpy elderly man, and he shuffles off.)

Elderly Man #2: *behind me, taps me on the shoulder* “Good girl.”

Me: *to trainee* “You didn’t deserve that, and he was being rude and aggressive.”

Trainee: *as she finishes serving me* “Thank you.”

Me: “No problem. I used to work in retail and know what some customers are like.”

[florida80]

It Will Be A Laborious Celebration




(I’m pregnant and recently started showing, which has lead to many well-intentioned comments from customers.)

Customer: “When are you due?”

Me: “October.”

Customer: “Well, when the baby is born, you’ll have to celebrate!”

Me: “Oh, I have a feeling I’ll be ‘celebrating’ all night long!”

[florida80]

Ankle Biting Your Head Off

Bad Behavior, Colorado, Crazy Requests, Loveland, Pharmacy, Retail, USA | Right | March 6, 2019


(My coworker and I are standing behind the counter, talking about what is left to do as I am about to leave, when a woman and man come in together. The man is carrying a bunched-up cord and looking around at the wall and the fixtures, while the woman heads to us.)

Coworker: *quietly* “He’s looking for somewhere to plug in.”

Me: “Looks like it.” *to the woman, louder* “Hello! How can—“

Man: “You got anywhere I can plug in?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. We don’t have any plugins in areas accessible to customers.”

Man: “I need to plug in my ankle monitor.”

Me: *kind of blown away* “I’m sorry. We simply don’t have anywhere for you to plug in.”

Man: “Fine! Then the police are gonna come and swarm you guys if I don’t!”

Me: *wondering how that’s our problem* “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing we can do.”

Man: “Whatever. I’ll wait outside for the police, then!” *stomps out*

Woman: *glowering after him, unimpressed* “Sorry about him. I was here to pick up some pictures.”

Me: “Not a problem. I can help you with that.”

(She was incredibly nice even though her photos ended up being at another location of our store. Made me wonder how she ended up having to be around the other guy.)

[florida80]

Customers That Make You Want To Pop Pills

Bad Behavior, Pharmacy, UK | Right | March 4, 2019


(I am working the counter of a pharmacy. I have been serving a customer while another is behind her looking at painkillers. After my customer has left:.)

Me: “Is there anything you need help with?”

Customer: “Yes, actually. Could you help me get this box open?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. If you open it you will have to buy it.”

Customer: “But I don’t want to buy it until I know what’s inside.”

Me: “I’m afraid there’s no other way around it. Once the box is open I am not allowed to sell it to anyone else.”

Customer: “I just want to know what colour the pills are.”

Me: “There’s an example on the box.”

Customer: “Yes, but they always try to trick you.”

(She manages to get the box open and takes a strip out.)

Customer: “See! They’re blue.”

Me: “That’s the packaging.”

(She then, to my surprise, pops one pill out and inspects it.)

Customer: “Well, would you look at that? It’s pink. That’s exactly what I want!”

(She puts the box and pill on the shelf and picks up an unopened box.)

Me: “Actually, if you could give me the box you opened, I’ll just sell you that one.”

Customer: “You can’t do that! It’s been opened. You have no idea what happened to it!”

Me: “…”

(I kicked her out and banned her. She comes back all the time saying this is her nearest pharmacy and demands to be let in. We have a picture of her under the counter, so everyone knows to remove her as soon as she appears.)

[florida80]

Medicine Prices Can Wind You

Health & Body, Non-Dialogue, Patients, Pharmacy, Revolting, Silly, USA | Healthy | March 1, 2019


I had been having horrible stomach cramps, to the point where I could barely stand. I’ve already had my appendix removed, so my doctor ran a few other tests and determined the pain was from a bowel obstruction. He sent me home with instructions to drink more water and take a laxative and some OTC pain killers.

While waiting in the checkout line with my purchase, several waves of cramps came over me and I started seeing stars. The cashier saw me start to stumble and called for help. More stars appeared before the pain became so intense I passed out.

When I regained consciousness, there was a crowd surrounding me with a mixture of emotions on their faces. Some were concerned, others embarrassed, and others looked like they were trying not to laugh, but none of them are looking at me. I started to sit up and the associate closest to me — the pharmacist who helped me pick my laxative — told me to stay still and wait for the ambulance to arrive.

I asked what happened and the pharmacist blushed deeper. I looked down to make sure I hadn’t lost control of my bladder. I hadn’t, but then I realized my stomach didn’t hurt as much anymore. I made that comment aloud, and some of the crowd laughed. A man from the crowd leaned in and told me that when I hit the floor, I’d released the biggest, loudest, longest fart he’d ever heard out of any human being.

The people gathered around were obviously there to see how I handled the news of my flatulent faux pas. I was terribly embarrassed, but I was also so relieved that I wasn’t in pain anymore, I just laughed until I cried. The ambulance arrived shortly thereafter and gave me the okay to go home. I apologized to everyone in the vicinity and told them I hoped the rest of their day went better than mine.

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #139469

Berlin, Connecticut, Pharmacy, USA | Unfiltered | February 12, 2019


(At the pharmacy I work at, we sell cards for buying cell phone minutes. Most of these cards have set amounts that you are able to purchase, usually multiples of $10. The register can only put those set amounts on to the card. A customer I recognize as someone who has given me trouble in the past walked into the store with someone else, grabbed a phone minute card and placed it on the counter)

Me:And how much would you like to put on this card?

Customer: 35 dollars, please.

(I look at the card, it clearly say $10 $20 $30 $40 in giant numbers)

Me: Im sorry, I can’t put $35 on this card. It only allows me to put in the amounts on the front.

Customer:…But I need $35 for my plan!

Me. I’m sorry, but I literally can’t put anything but whats on the card.

Customer: Hold on a second….

(The customer suddenly pulls out a cell phone and procceds to begin hitting numbers for a good 5 minutes. I can hear an automated voice coming from the other end. He then holds the phone up to me)

Cellphone: If your plan is for a monthly charge for $35, please press-

(He pulls the phone back)

Customer: SEE?!

Me:…

(I then explained and demonstrated that I literally could only put in what the register allows me. He seemed like he was gonna say something else on the matter, but luckily the person he was with saw the futility in the situation, convinced him to leave

[florida80]

H2-Woes

Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Pharmacy, UK | Right | February 10, 2019


(I am working in the back of a pharmacy. A coworker who is on the front comes in to ask a question.)

Coworker: “What ointments don’t have dihydrogen monoxide?”

Me: “Don’t have what?”

Coworker: “Dihydrogen monoxide. A customer says she deathly allergic to it.”

(Humoured by the statement and assuming it’s a joke, I follow [Coworker] out.)

Me: “Sorry, what was your query?”

Customer: *sighs* “What creams don’t have dihydrogen monoxide? I’m so allergic to it that even the slightest touch could kill me.”

Me: “Umm, is this a joke?”

Customer: “Absolutely not! How dare you?!”

Me: “It’s just that dihydrogen monoxide is water, like the bottle of Vittel in your hand.”

Customer: “No, I am allergic to dihydrogen monoxide, and I need a cream that doesn’t have it.”

Me: “Do you know what water is also expressed as? H2–”

Customer: “–H2O. Yes, I know that.”

Me: “And that means water is made of two hydrogen atoms and one oxygen?”

Customer: “I don’t see how this has anything to do with—“

Me: “Two hydrogen, di — Dihydrogen. And one oxygen, mono — monoxide. Water and dihydrogen monoxide are literally the same thing.”

Customer: *blank look*

Me: “For all I know, you could have an allergy to water, but since that is rare and you didn’t know that they were the same, I’m assuming you don’t?”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. I am allergic to dihydrogen monoxide, and if you can provide me with cream that doesn’t have it, I will find somewhere that does!” *storms out*

Me: “Good luck with that!”

[florida80]

Branded With Kindness

Awesome Workers, Dallas, Georgia, Kind Strangers, Non-Dialogue, Pharmacy, USA | Hopeless | February 8, 2019


I was dropping off some prescriptions at my local 24-hour pharmacy around ten at night. There were only two employees working at the time: a pharmacist and a pharmacy tech. They were obviously extremely busy. When I was asked when I’d like to pick up my prescriptions, I simply said I’d like them as soon as possible. The tech looked genuinely terrified to inform me that there was at least an hour wait time. Of course, I expected as much, so that was no problem at all. I could tell from her demeanor that other people had not been as understanding. I told her that I was planning on going out to eat, so she could take her time and that I hoped that customers would learn to be more understanding.

When I returned to retrieve my medicine, one of them was ringing up at four times the amount I expected. As I have a heart condition that prevents me from working, I knew there was no way I could afford that. I purchased the other medication and decided that I would just call the hospital and ask if they could send a cheaper alternative prescription to the pharmacy. Upon speaking to the pharmacist, I was told that it would be another thirty minutes before he would even be able to check for an alternative. I decided to sit in the waiting area, as I had nothing else to do at the time and I wasn’t in any particular rush.

At that point, it was clear that the young lady’s shift had ended and she had left for the night. The pharmacist was now working by himself. I waited patiently as I watched this man run around and assemble orders, answer phones, type furiously on the computer, check inventory, and deal with customers in both the drive-thru and at the counter. That poor man didn’t have a breath to himself. Eventually, he looked up and noticed I was still there. He called me to the counter and rang up my medicine at a huge discount — much less than I was expecting to pay in the first place. I thanked him profusely and wished him a better night than the one he appeared to be having. It was only when I reached the car that I realized that he hadn’t had time to find a generic alternative and he had given me the name brand medication. He brought it down from 105 dollars to 17. As someone struggling financially, that meant the world to me.

I made sure to call the manager in the morning and tell them how wonderful their employees were. I will definitely be going back there. It might cost a little more than other pharmacies and it might take a little longer, but the customer service cannot be matched.

Moral of the story: a little patience and kindness go a long way.

[florida80]

Sometimes You Wish Customers Were Contactless

At The Checkout, England, Pharmacy, UK | Right | February 8, 2019


(I am handing out a prescription to a patient.)

Me: “That’ll be £8.40, please.”

(I see that she’s getting her card out, so I press “card payment” at the till. I am not paying that much attention and the payment goes through fine.)

Customer: “When do I put my PIN in?”

(I’m confused as the payment has already gone through.)

Me: “The payment has already gone through contactless, and here is the receipt.”

Customer: *getting visibility upset* “I do not have that! How can it go through when I haven’t put my PIN in? Let me have a look at that receipt now. There’s no way I could have paid for that; I haven’t put my PIN in.”

(I check the receipt and notice it’s been paid using a specific credit card, which is different from the card she has in hand. I show her the card and receipt number.)

Me: “You put your purse too close to the contactless machine.”

Customer: “But I didn’t put my PIN in; I did not authorise this transaction!”

Me: “This is a new thing in the banks are doing to make transactions a little bit quicker. It only covers payments under £30.”

Customer: “But I did not authorise this transaction! I did not want to pay with that card! I don’t want this ‘contact list’ nonsense!”

Me: “If you don’t want contactless, you have to speak to your bank.”

Customer: “I certainly will be. I do not want this ‘contact list’ nonsense. Anyone could steal my money.”

(As she is getting upset about something I can’t help her with, I try to end the conversation.)

Me: “Here’s your prescription that has been paid for. Good luck with the bank!”

(She said thank you for the prescription, but continued to rant about how she should have to use a PIN number, how contactless is stupid, and how the bank is making it easy to steal money.)

[florida80]

Not Even Partially Apologetic

Comeuppance, Ignoring & Inattentive, Jerk, Pharmacy, USA | Right | February 4, 2019


(I work in a retail pharmacy in a suburban city. A lot of snobbish, entitled people come through our line every day, thinking they are God’s gifts to the world and that we should feel honored to bend over backward and kiss their a**es. It’s a Sunday afternoon, during a slow hour in the late summer. It’s just me and my pharmacist working today. I’m helping someone in our drive-thru, so the pharmacist helps this guy who comes up to the counter. I overhear this exchange as I’m ringing up the person I’m helping.)

Pharmacist: “Hi, there! How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m picking up a prescription.”

Pharmacist: *looks up the guy’s name in the system and goes to retrieve his script* “Just so you know, sir, we didn’t have the full quantity of this medication in stock, so we had to give you a partial supply. We should have the rest in tomorrow morning, though.”

Customer: *raising his voice* “You know, this is bulls***. I got a phone call saying that my prescription was ready in full, but every time I come here, you guys only have a part of the d*** thing!”

Pharmacist: “I do apologize, sir. Are you sure the phone call said it was done in full?”

Customer: “What, do you think I’m stupid?! Of course it did! Here, listen!”

(He pulled out his phone and replayed the voicemail on speaker so we could hear. It very clearly stated that the prescription was ready for a PARTIAL FILL. Obviously flushed and embarrassed, the guy tried to brush it off like it was still our fault, paid for his partial, and left. My pharmacist paraded that little victory around for the rest of the year.)

[florida80]

Narcotics By Night

Crazy Requests, Indiana, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | February 4, 2019


(The pharmacy where I work is the only 24-hour one in town. We keep all our narcotics in a time-delayed safe that we don’t open at night. The only exception is a few we keep out for hospital patients. One night after 11:00 pm, a lady comes through the drive-thru to drop off a script for one of these medications.)

Me: “We have this in stock and we can have it ready for you around 7:00 am.”

Lady: “I can’t get it now? I’ve been out all day! Can’t you just give me a couple to get me by?”

(I’m thinking, “If you’ve been out all day, why wait until this late at night to get more?”)

Me: “This is in a time-delayed safe, so we can’t fill these at night.”

Lady: “Well, what’s the point in being a full-service, 24-hour pharmacy if you can’t fill prescriptions at night?”

Me: “We can fill most prescriptions at night, but this is in our time-delayed safe which can’t be opened after eight.”

Lady: “I don’t care about anyone else’s prescriptions. This is for me!”

[florida80]

Power Play

Australia, Crazy Requests, Money, Pharmacy | Right | January 28, 2019


(There is a storm and we have lost power. We are still open but are doing everything manually and are only accepting cash. We tell customers this when they enter the store and have a big sign at the checkouts stating this. It’s dull but we have light from outside and battery operated lights at the desks.)

Customer: “Okay I’ll take these.”

(The customer shoves a bunch of items into my hands.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am. Just so you know, we have lost power. We are taking cash only until the power comes back.”

Customer: “But I wish to pay by card!” *hands me debit card*

Me: “I am sorry, but as I said, we have no power. The EFT machine is run by power and we have no emergency generator.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! You just cut the power because you knew I was coming, didn’t you? I demand you put the power back on now!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I have no control over the power. I cannot process this unless you are paying cash. I am happy to hold your items if you would like to go get cash now, or come back later?”

Customer: “You’re no help.” *storms out of store*

Next Customer: *who happens to be a regular* “I would have said yes, I did cut the power just to piss you off.”

Me: “I was tempted. But I like my job.”

(The regular customer returned with a box of chocolates to help us through the power outage!)

[florida80]

(My coworker and I are standing behind the counter, talking about what is left to do as I am about to leave, when a woman and man come in together. The man is carrying a bunched-up cord and looking around at the wall and the fixtures, while the woman heads to us.)

Coworker: *quietly* “He’s looking for somewhere to plug in.”

Me: “Looks like it.” *to the woman, louder* “Hello! How can—“

Man: “You got anywhere I can plug in?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. We don’t have any plugins in areas accessible to customers.”

Man: “I need to plug in my ankle monitor.”

Me: *kind of blown away* “I’m sorry. We simply don’t have anywhere for you to plug in.”

Man: “Fine! Then the police are gonna come and swarm you guys if I don’t!”

Me: *wondering how that’s our problem* “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing we can do.”

Man: “Whatever. I’ll wait outside for the police, then!” *stomps out*

Woman: *glowering after him, unimpressed* “Sorry about him. I was here to pick up some pictures.”

Me: “Not a problem. I can help you with that.”

(She was incredibly nice even though her photos ended up being at another location of our store. Made me wonder how she ended up having to be around the other guy.)

[florida80]

(I am working the counter of a pharmacy. I have been serving a customer while another is behind her looking at painkillers. After my customer has left:.)

Me: “Is there anything you need help with?”

Customer: “Yes, actually. Could you help me get this box open?”

Me: “I’m afraid not. If you open it you will have to buy it.”

Customer: “But I don’t want to buy it until I know what’s inside.”

Me: “I’m afraid there’s no other way around it. Once the box is open I am not allowed to sell it to anyone else.”

Customer: “I just want to know what colour the pills are.”

Me: “There’s an example on the box.”

Customer: “Yes, but they always try to trick you.”

(She manages to get the box open and takes a strip out.)

Customer: “See! They’re blue.”

Me: “That’s the packaging.”

(She then, to my surprise, pops one pill out and inspects it.)

Customer: “Well, would you look at that? It’s pink. That’s exactly what I want!”

(She puts the box and pill on the shelf and picks up an unopened box.)

Me: “Actually, if you could give me the box you opened, I’ll just sell you that one.”

Customer: “You can’t do that! It’s been opened. You have no idea what happened to it!”

Me: “…”

(I kicked her out and banned her. She comes back all the time saying this is her nearest pharmacy and demands to be let in. We have a picture of her under the counter, so everyone knows to remove her as soon as she appears.)

[florida80]

I had been having horrible stomach cramps, to the point where I could barely stand. I’ve already had my appendix removed, so my doctor ran a few other tests and determined the pain was from a bowel obstruction. He sent me home with instructions to drink more water and take a laxative and some OTC pain killers.

While waiting in the checkout line with my purchase, several waves of cramps came over me and I started seeing stars. The cashier saw me start to stumble and called for help. More stars appeared before the pain became so intense I passed out.

When I regained consciousness, there was a crowd surrounding me with a mixture of emotions on their faces. Some were concerned, others embarrassed, and others looked like they were trying not to laugh, but none of them are looking at me. I started to sit up and the associate closest to me — the pharmacist who helped me pick my laxative — told me to stay still and wait for the ambulance to arrive.

I asked what happened and the pharmacist blushed deeper. I looked down to make sure I hadn’t lost control of my bladder. I hadn’t, but then I realized my stomach didn’t hurt as much anymore. I made that comment aloud, and some of the crowd laughed. A man from the crowd leaned in and told me that when I hit the floor, I’d released the biggest, loudest, longest fart he’d ever heard out of any human being.

The people gathered around were obviously there to see how I handled the news of my flatulent faux pas. I was terribly embarrassed, but I was also so relieved that I wasn’t in pain anymore, I just laughed until I cried. The ambulance arrived shortly thereafter and gave me the okay to go home. I apologized to everyone in the vicinity and told them I hoped the rest of their day went better than mine.

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #139469




(At the pharmacy I work at, we sell cards for buying cell phone minutes. Most of these cards have set amounts that you are able to purchase, usually multiples of $10. The register can only put those set amounts on to the card. A customer I recognize as someone who has given me trouble in the past walked into the store with someone else, grabbed a phone minute card and placed it on the counter)

Me:And how much would you like to put on this card?

Customer: 35 dollars, please.

(I look at the card, it clearly say $10 $20 $30 $40 in giant numbers)

Me: Im sorry, I can’t put $35 on this card. It only allows me to put in the amounts on the front.

Customer:…But I need $35 for my plan!

Me. I’m sorry, but I literally can’t put anything but whats on the card.

Customer: Hold on a second….

(The customer suddenly pulls out a cell phone and procceds to begin hitting numbers for a good 5 minutes. I can hear an automated voice coming from the other end. He then holds the phone up to me)

Cellphone: If your plan is for a monthly charge for $35, please press-

(He pulls the phone back)

Customer: SEE?!

Me:…

(I then explained and demonstrated that I literally could only put in what the register allows me. He seemed like he was gonna say something else on the matter, but luckily the person he was with saw the futility in the situation, convinced him to leave.)

[florida80]

Tác giả là trưởng nữ một gia đình H.O., hiện hành nghề dược sĩ tại Virginia, đã góp nhiều bài viết và được trao tặng một trong những giải thưởng chính Viết Về Nước My năm 2004. Bài mới nhất của bà là chuyện kể gồm 3 phần, về sinh hoạt trong một pharmacy. Sau đây là phần tiếp và hết.


III. Thời Gian, Thời Gian

Giả sử mọi chuyện đều xuôi chảy, khách có Prescription card, Pharmacy có đầy đủ info của khách, toa thuốc bác sĩ viết chữ đẹp như mơ hay in ra rõ ràng từng chữ từng số một, không có problem gì hết, thì problem vẫn có thể từ trên trời rơi xuồng bất thình lình.
Mùa đông trời gió lạnh, thiên hạ đau, ho tùm lum, khách đến pharmacy đưa cái toa fill thuốc trụ sinh Z-pak, khách đưa toa rồi đến ghế ngồi, ho húng hắng. Ho vậy là đau thiệt, là cần thuốc thiệt. Insurance ở trên computer không cần biết khách có đau hay không, cần thuốc hay không. Bum, trên màn hình computer hiện lên hàng chữ "overuse", mấy hàng chữ tiếp theo lạnh lùng không kém "limit to 6 tablets in 30 day period". Một vỉ Z-pak có 6 viên thuốc Azithromycin 250 mg, ngày đầu uống 2 viên, 4 ngày sau uống 1 viên, Insurance thông báo là chỉ cover thuốc này 1 tháng 1 lần thôi.
Pharmacist check trên computer, đâu thấy tiệm mình fill thuốc này đâu kìa. Gọi insurance đợi và đợi, cuối cùng người agent báo là khách fill 1 vỉ Z-pak 2 tuần trước ở một pharmacy khác! muốn insurance cover Z-pak thì bác sĩ phải đến số phone 1-800 này này.
Đợi quá xá là đợi, bây giờ người khách thay vì nhận được thuốc, trả tiền, về nhà uống rồi nghỉ dưỡng bệnh thì lại phải nghe tin phũ phàng:
Có mấy giải pháp, hoặc là trả tiền mặt cho vỉ thuốc trụ sinh này, hoặc là pharmacist gọi bác sĩ xin bác sĩ gọi đến insurance để xin cover thuốc, hoặc xin bác sĩ chuyển thuốc khác.
Gần $60.00 giá tiền mặt cho 6 viên thuốc, trong khi đó copay người khách có $15.00, thế là cả khách và pharmacist cùng song ca bài hát "đợi chờ" pharmacy gọi đến bác sĩ, receptionist trả lời là bác sĩ bận khám bệnh, chút nữa mời hồi đáp được vv..và Đợi và đợi. Phòng mạch gọi đến đã nói trên phone là nếu có emergency thì bệnh nhân gọi 911, chuyện Z-pak đổi sang thuốc khác hay gọi insurance xin cover đâu phải là chuyện emergency!
Khách khác đưa cái toa thuốc Levaquin 500mg, 10 viên, ngày 1 viên. Fill xong copay lên đến $105.00. Đọc thông báo của insurance, Levaquin thuộc loại BNF (Brand-non formulary). Formulary list thì có Avelox 400mg và Cipro 500mg. Người khách bị ho, cipro bị loại ra khỏi vòng chiến ngay lập tức, pharmacist dùng computer thử xem nếu đổi qua Avelox thì copay còn bao nhiêu.
Oh my God, đổi qua Avelox, loại thuốc mà insurance bảo là nên dùng, copay vẫn còn ở tít trên mây xanh:$97.50! Pharmacist thuật với khách, người khách quyết định trả $105.00à Đau, gọi lấy hẹn với bác sĩ đã phải đợi dăm lần bảy lượt, bây giờ gọi bác sĩ đổi sang thuốc khác nửa, không đợi nổi nữa đâu. I need the medicine, chênh lệch có mấy dollars, khách nói, chẳng bõ công chờ đợi mệt quá rồi.
Xem TV, ai mà chẳng từng thấy cái quảng cáo về Lamisil, thuốc trị nấm ở móng chân. Con quái vật màu vàng coi tàn àc và xấu xí đến cực độcười hề hề giở móng chân của người ta lên rồi chui vào, cùng bạn bè đào hầm khoét vách tấn công phần thịt dưới móng chân không thương tiếc, phần dưới móng chân từ màu hồng tự nhiên, bằng phẳng trở thành màu vàng bệnh hoạn, chỗ lồi chỗ lõm. Lamisil 250mg, viên thu61c tròn màu trắng, được quảng cáo như thứ thần dược trị nấm ở móng chân. Thần dược đâu thì chưa biết, nhưng đại đa số insurance sẽ từ chối không chịu cover thuốc này, trên màn hình của computer của pharmacy sẽ hiện lên số phone 1-800 để bác sĩ gọi . Lamisil không phải là thuốc rẻ tiền, 1 tháng 30 viên cash price tính ra gần $300.00, có lẽ vậy mà insurance bao giờ cũng làm khó dễ, muốn bác sĩ và bệnh nhân thử thuốc khác giá rẻ hơn trước xem có hết bịnh không rồi mới cover Lamisil. Mọi chuyện tùy thuộc vào phòng mạch bác sĩ có gọi đến insurance nhanh hay không, có hoàn tất giấy tờ insurance yêu cầu nhanh hay không. Chuyện bệnh nhân đợi gần cả tuần mới được hồi đáp của insurance là sẽ cover thuốc này là chuyện bình thường à.

IV. Thời Gian, Thời Gian, Thời Gian
Precription medicines ở Mỹ chia làm nhiều nhóm khác nhau, tùy theo mức độ người dùng thuốc có sinh ra nghiện ngập hay không (potential for abuse) và một khi nghiện thuốc, cần thuốc thì tâm sinh lý khao khát thuốc (Psychological dependence physical dependence)lên tới mức độ nào, trầm trọng trung trung hay không đáng kể.
Schedule I, trong đó có heroin và marijuana, là nhũng chất dễ lôi cuốn người ta vào con đường nghiện ngập, không được thừa nhận lá có ứng dụng trong y học ở Mỹ, danh sàch rầt dài, không cò chất nào được cho phép bán ở pharmacy ở mỹ cả.
Schedule II, toa thuồc chỉ fill được có 1 lần, và có giá trị trong một thời gian nhầt định mà thôi tính từ ngày viết trên toa, thướng không quá 6 tháng. Có State gắt gao, luật qui định toa thuốc loại này chỉ fill được trong phạm vi 1 tuần tứ ngày viết trên toa. Thuốc giảm đau như Percocet, Oxycontin thuộc vào Schedule II. Luật không cho bác sĩ gọi loại thuốc này đến pharmacy, mà phải có written prescription hẳn hoi. Trên toa thuốc phải có tên chủ ký bác sĩ đã đành, mà còn phải có DEA# của bác sĩ . Mỗi bác sĩ viết toa cho narcotics controlled drugs đều có một mả số do DEA (Drug Enforcement Agency) cấp, không viết DEA# trên toa là pharmacist phải bằng mọi cách gọi bác sĩ cho bằng được để lấy thông tin này. Nhiều toa do bác sĩ mới ra trường làm intern trong nhà thương viết, không có DEA, chủ viết fantasy không đọc được last name, first name của bác sĩ, pharmacist gọi đến nhà thương mất không biết bao nhiêu công sức, nhất là khi bệnh nhân không nhớ hay không biết bác sĩ ở department nào, mới lấy được thông tin và sau đó mới fill được toa thuốc.
Schedule III, IV, V toa thuốc cũng chỉ có giá trị trong phạm vi 6 thàng kể từ ngày viết. Trái với schedule II, thuốc schedule III, IV, V ngoài lần fill đầu tiên còn cò thể refill năm lần nữa, trong phạm vi 6 tháng. Mấy thuốc ngủ quảng cáo trên TV, Ambien, Lunesta thuộc vào nhóm này. Các cụ lớn tuổi hay dùng Ativan (generic là LoraZepam), Xanax (generic là Alprazolam) Restoril (generic là Temazepam) một phần trị anxiety, một phần để giúp ngủ buổi tối, nhiều cụ không hiểu nổi và không nhớ nổi tại sao mấy loại thuốc này cứ mấy tháng lại không fill được : Schedule loại này đâu fill trường kỳ được. Thuốc mấy loại này, phòng mạch bác sĩ cò thể gọi trực tiếp đền cho pharmacy. Hết refill, pharmacy có thể gọi đến phòng mạch để xin refill tiếp.
Thường cỡ 90% thuốc fill hằng ngày ở pharmacy thuộc loại cuối schedule VI. Toa thuốc bác sĩ viết, gọi điện thoại hay fax đến pharmacy có giá trị thướng là 1 năm tính từ ngày toa được viết . Cò tiểu bang như Virginia toa thuốc có giá trị dến 2 năm . Nhưng đa số insurance chỉ chấp thuận toa thuốc trong phạm vi 1 năm tứ ngày toa được viết. Rắc rối cuộc đời quá xá!
Thuốc Schedule VI, có toa thuốc bác sĩ viết chỉ mua được có 1 lần chẳng hạn như toa cho antibiotics, trụ sinh. Có toa viết cho những loại thuốc trị áp huyết, cao đường, cao cholesterol, thuốc loại maintenance meds bác sĩ có viết refill, giả sử toa 30 viên, uống ngày 1 viên, ngay chỗ refill bác sĩ viết số 5, có nghĩa là toa này lần đẩu fill được 30 viên, sau đó mỗi tháng fill được 1 lần nữa, tổng cộng là 5 refill tức là bệnh nhân sẽ có thuốc uống trong 6 tháng . Toa viết prn refills thường sẽ có giá trị fill thuốc và lấy refill cho 1 năm nếu là maintenace meds thuộc Schedule VI.
Fill thuốc xong, có refill, có insurance không phải muốn lấy refill lúc nào cũng lấy được . insurance tính tứng vi6n thuốc, tính từng ngày trong tháng, tính đủ thứ . Viagra, cialis, levitra, mấy thuốc này nhiều insurance chỉ cover có 6 viên trong 30 ngày, đếm từng ngày trên lịch, ngày fill thuốc là ngày số 1 thì đến ngày 31 mới lấy refill được. Tháng 2 có 28 cao lắm 29 ngày, vô số lần pharmacist phải gọi lại cho càc ông khách quên tính ngày mà chỉ ngó theo tờ lịch cứ cùng ngày tháng sau thí gọi dến để fill thuốc.
Tùy insurance, giả sử khách fill 30 ngày thuốc, khách phải dùng 75% đến 80% số thuốc thì insurance mới cover tiếp. Vậy là sau khi fill thuốc lần đầu muốn refill thuốc phải đợi 22 đến 24 ngày nữa. Có khi phải đợi đến 27 ngày mới refill thuốc được. Không thể ngẫu hứng một ngày đẹp trời, nửa tháng 10 bữa sau khi lấy xong 1 tháng thuốc, tiện đường đi chợ tạt vào pharmacy đòi lấy refill thuốc mà có được. Sorry, sorryà
Insurance rất gắt gao, tình từng viên thuốc đã đành, mà còn tính từng giọt thuốc nhỏ mắt, từng spray thuốc xịt vào cuống họng hay lỗ mũi . Một cc thuốc nhỏ mắt được tính ra là có 20 giọt thuốc nhỏ mắt, mỗi ngày nhỏ vào mắt mấy lần, mấy giọt, insurance bắt phải để số ngày cho đúng. Chai Xalatan có 2.5 cc nhỏ xíu xiu, thuốc nhỏ mắt cho các cụ trị glaucoma, mỗi tối nhỏ 1 giọt vào mắt, lắm insurance tính chai thuốc này tới 1 tháng supply, không tính người già có thể run tay để thuốc rơi ra ngoài ! Lâu lâu người của insurance đến pharmacy kiểm tra, lôi một lô toa thuốc ra check xem pharmacist để ngày supply có đúng không. Flonase Nasal spray 1 chai có 120 sprays, bác sĩ viết hướng dẫn mỗi ngày xịt 2 sprays vào lỗ mũi, gia tái người ta có 2 lỗ mũi, tính toán nhân chia ra thì mỗi ngày hết 4 sprays, chai thuốc đủ dùng cho 30 ngày.
Đếm viên thuốc, đếm giọt thuốc, đếm spraycòn chưa đủ, insurance còn đếm cả số ngày người khách sử dụng thuốc nữa. Prevacid, Nexium, Protonix, mấy thuốc làm giảm acid trong bao tử, có insurance chỉ cover có 90 ngày trong 1 năm mà thôi. Khách đưa lọ thuốc ra, còn mấy refill hẳn hoi sao tui không mua được" Insurance buộc bác sĩ phải gọi dến số 1-800 nào đó, giải thích với insurance tại sau bệnh nhân cần uống thuốc này đều đều, tháng này qua tháng khác. Bác sĩ gọi cho insurance, lấy được phép của insurance, prior authorization granted, sau đó pharmacy mời fill thuốc được. Prior authorization không kéo dài năm này qua năm khác, hồi tháng 11 bác sĩ gọi cho insurance được prior authorization, có khi sang năm mới tháng giêng khách đến fill thuốc lại thấy insurance hết cover thuốc mình cần. Pharmacy lại phải gọi bác sĩ, bác sĩ lại gọi insurance, bệnh nhân lại phải đợi à
Vậy muốn đi vacation, lấy thêm thuốc thì sao" Có mấy cách. Cách thứ nhất là dến chỗ nghỉ vacation, thuốc sắp hết thí ghé váo một pharmacy ở đó. Xin chuyển toa thuốc của mình đến đó. Thuốc thuộc loại Schedule III, IV, V chỉ có thể trasfer 1 lần mà thôi, transfer toa thuốc đến pharmacy mới rồi thì toa thuốc sẽ đi mà không trở lại, luật qui định chỉ được transfer 1 lần. Nếu không đi vacation ở chơi mấy tháng để xài mấy cái refill cón lại thì đến chừng về lại nhà ra pharmacy gần nhà refill thuốc khách sẽ được báo là hết refill rồi, phải gọi bác sĩ thôi.!
Thuốc Schedule III. IV, V insurance không thích override để cho khách lấy vacation supply bởi thuốc có potential for abuse! Schedule VI thì transfer đi transfer về quá dễ dàng, khá dễ dàng thôi, bởi có tiểu bang nhu New York, luật qui định transfer prescription đi tiểu bang khàc mỗi lần chỉ được transfer một refill mà thôi, khách có định cư tiểu bang khác, chưa tím được bác sĩ, thí mỗi tháng lại phải đến pharmacy nhờ pharmacist gọi lên New York để transfer một tháng thuốc cho mình.
Vacation override, tưởng đơn giản mà nhiều khi rắc rối vô cùng. Pharmacy gọi đến insurance, xin cover thêm refill cho khách vì khách đi vacation, nhiều khi phải trả lới mấy câu hỏi khá chi tiết : khách đi vacation thì ngày nào khởi hành, ngày nào trở về. Phía insurance hỏi vậy để tính xem khách có đủ thuốc dùng hay không rồi mới cho phép override. Có insurance còn không oerride ngay mà nói pharmacy là phải đợi đến 72 tiền trước ngày khách lên đường đi vacation thì mới fill vacation supply được! Có insurance như federal.
Blue Cross Blue Shield gọi vacation rất dễ dàng, khách đi vacation một năm mấy lần không thành vấn đề, có insurance chỉ cho vacation supply 1 lần mà thôi.
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Chiều thứ sáu, gần 4 giờ chiều, ông khách đến pharmacy xin lấy refill Lipitor 10mg ngày 1 viên. Mới fill trước đó hơn 2 tuần, sao lại lấy refill nữa kìa" Insurance báo sớm quá, sờm quá không cover. Pharmacist hỏi ông khách sao cấn thuồc sớm quá, ông khách trả lời tỉnh rụi "bác sĩ nói cholesterol của tui còn cao, kêu uống mỗi ngày 2 viên Lipitor."
Bác sĩ tăng dose, ông khách uồng tăng thuốc, pharmacy không tài nào biết được chuyện đó. Phải gọi bác sĩ lấy cái toa mới, Lipitor 20mg, pharmacist nói với ông khách như vậy. Pharmacy gọi đi, ông khách đồng ý, nhưng tui chẳng còn viên thuốc nào hết, cho tui mấy viên trước để tui uống weekend được không"
Trường hợp bác sĩ tăng dose thuốc mà không đưa toa thuốc mới, nếu khách hàng tình cờ ngẫu nhiên nhớ được hỏi xin bác sĩ gọi cái toa thuốc mới, new dose, new strength gọi đến cho pharmacy, không đợi đến lúc uống cạn viên thuốc cuối cùng, đợi đến lúc phòng mạch bác sĩ sửa soạn đóng cửa chiều thứ sáu mới gọi cho pharmacy, pharmacy xin chân thành, chân thành cám ơn!
Bà khách khác chiều thứ bảy đưa cái toa ra, Haftlytely, thuốc uống để súc ruột cho sạch trước khi làm colonoscopy, hỏi pharmacy có thuốc không cái toa viết mấy tháng trước, nhưng bà khách đợi gần đến ngày làm colonoscopy mới đi fill. Nhằm một ngày không đẹp trời, trên kệ pharmacy không còn loại thuốc này!
Bà khách nhăn nhó, than thở, trời ơi, tui phải uống thuốc này ngày mai, dễ sáng thứ hai vào nhà thương làm cái procedure này. Bây giờ phải làm sao cho tui có thuốc đây. Để vui lòng khách đến vùa lòng khách đi, pharmacist gọi qua mấy pharmacy kế bên, hỏi xem tiệm nào conø thuốc, cũng may là thuốc này thông dụng gọi vài pharmacy là tìm được chỗ có thuốc.
Ngày chủ nhật thường là ngày bán nhiều birth control pills. Có nhũng đấng phu quân được vợ nhờ ra pharmacy lấy thuốc, cứ tấp đại vào 1 pharmacy nào mình gặp đầu tiên, đưa cái vỉ thuốc xài hết rồi ra, nói muốn refill thuốc. Fill ở pharmacy khác thì pharmacist gọi điện thoại qua pharmacy kia, xin transfer prescription.
Chuyện hết refill birth control ngày chủ nhật xảy ra đều đều. Không có phòng mạch bác sĩ nào mở cửa chủ nhật, thế là phải đợi đến thứ hai mới gọi bác sĩ đưởc. Birth control pills, insurance cũng tính ngày y như mấy thuóc khác, mỗi vỉ thuốc là 28 ngày nếu insurance cover có 1 tháng thuốc thí fill xong 1 vỉ thì phải đợi 21, 22,23,24 ngày vvà tùy insurance mới fill dược vỉ kế. Fill 3 vỉ thuốc 1 lần, 84 ngày supply, thì XYZ ngày sau sẽ fill nữa được. Tính mệt quá!



Pharmacy thường lấy thuốc từ hai nguồn khác nhau, 1 nguồn la warehouse của company của mình tuần 2 lần, 1 nguồn từ một wholesaler. Không có thuốc, từ chủ nhật đến thứ năm, pharmacy có thể order thuốc từ 1 trong 2 nguồn này cho khách, có khi có thể lấy thuốc ngày hôm sau. Đem toa thuốc đến ngày thứ sáu thứÔ bảy, nếu không pharmacy nào có thuốc thì phải đợi sớm nhất là thứ hai mới có thuốc được. Nhiều phòng mạch bác sĩ đòng cửa weekend, không giải quyết chuyện pharmacy không có thuốc A muốn xin đổi thành thước B có được hay không. Gọi cho bác sĩ on call thì vô số lần được nghe trả lời là hoặc đưa toa cho bệnh để bệnh nhân tự đi tìm pharmacy nào có thuốc, hoặc là đợi đến thứ hai phòng mạch mở cửa gọi lại thì sẽ dược giải quyết!
Pharmacy lấy thuốc từ 2 nguồn khác nhau, và còn 1 nguồn đặc biệt nữa: từ các pharmacy khác trong cùng company. Nhưng bao giờ cũng có những ngày đẹp trời nào đó, bỗng nhiên 1 hãng bào chế thuốc bỗng nhiên ngừng sản xuất thuốc, ngừng mà không báo là bao giờ sẽ cho thứ thuốc đó tái xuầt giang hồ trở lại. Paxil 10mg, paxil CR 25mg, Pentasa 250mg mấy tháng gần đây vvà trở thành khan hiếm, nhiều bệnh nhân hễ check thấy Pharmacy nào còn thuốc đó thì chuyển refill tới, fill cầm hơi được tháng nào hay tháng đó. Có loại thuốc khan hiếm, bác sĩ đổi được cho bệnh nhân uống thứ thuốc khác. Nhưng cũng có loại thuốc không đổi được, thuốc chỉ có ở dạng brand name mà bây giờ bặt vô âm tín trên thị trường, patent brand name vẫn còn thành ra chẳng có công ty nào ra loại generic, bác sĩ không mướn đổi thuốc khác, pharmacy bó tay, còn bệnh nhân thì gọi điện thoại bốn phương tám hướng đến các pharmacy khác kiếm xem có thuốc mình cần hay không. Lắm người gọi trong vô vọngà Cứ tưởng ở mỹ thuốc không bao giờ khan hiếm, nào ngờ có những lúc đi kiếm thuốc cũng y như là đi tìm nước giữa sa mạc vậy.

VI - Thuốc
Toa thuốc và insurance không có problem gì thì sẽ hy vọng có thuốc. Thuốc ở Mỹ, công ty nào sáng chế ra đầu tiên, sẽ có patent nhiều khi kéo dài cả chục năm. Chỉ có một thứ thuốc trên thị trường, do một hãng bào chế sản xuất, đấy là brand name, thuốc một mình một cõi độc chiếm thị trường, giá cao thế nào người cần đến cũng phải bấm bụng mỡ hầu bao mà chi, giá thuốc do hãng bào chế tùy nghi định đoạt. Già caoư, thì tính đi, bao nhiêu năm nghiên cứu ở phòng thí nghiệm, bao nhiêu năm tổ chừc càc cuộc thử nghiệm trên người, bao nhiêu năm gởi không biết là bao nhiêu là thông tin, kết qủa, giấy tờ, đơn xin phép sản xuất à tới các cơ quan nhà nước, chủ yếu là FDA (Food & Drug Administration), rồi tiền quảng cáo trên radio, TV, báo chí, tụi tui đổ bao nhiêu tiền bạc để có được loại thuốc này đem ra phục vụ cho giống bào quần chúng nhân dân, giá thuốc cao là đúng rồi, càc hãng bào chế sẽ lập luận như vậy khi dược hỏi sao già thuốc brand name của họ ở trên tít trời xanh.
Thuốc brand name giá cao chiếm lĩnh thị trường it1t nhầt là năm, bảy năm thì sau gió patent hết hạn vô số công ty khác sẽ ào ào vào kiếm chác. Sản xuất thuốc Generic, tương tự như thuốc brand name, active ingredients (phần thực sự coi là thuốc) sẽ không thay đổi, nhưng những phần khác, non-active ingredients (các chất độn thêm) có thể sẽ thay đổi tùy theo hãng bào chế. Khi chuyền sang generic, giá thuốc sẽ giảm và giảm, vì nhiều công ty cùng sản xuất một loại thuốc, ai chào hàng giá rẻ thì sẽ có nhiều khách mua, đơn giản là vậy. Nhưng đối với người tiêu dùng chuyện không đơn giản như vậy.
Ngày xửa ngày xưa, khi chỉ có thuốc brand name, khách mua về giở chai thuốc ra nhìn màu sắc, hình dáng viên thuốc mình uống quen là biết thuốc đó là thuốc gì. Bây giờ khi patent thuốc brand name hết hạn, hằng hà sa số công ty sẽ cùng sản xuất thuốc generic. Prilosec 20mg lúc còn brand name là viên capsule màu tím. Công ty khác sản xuất generic của Prilosec cho ra loại capsule màu trắng. Rồi Prilosec 20mg được cho bán không cần toa, thế là có Prilosec OTC, cũng 20mg mà lại là tablet chứ không phải capsule. Amoxicillin 500mg có thể là capsule nửa hồng nửa đỏ .
Thuốc generic đến pharmacy, có khi thuộc company này, có khi thuộc company khác . Pharmacist khi fill thuốc generic cho khách, nếu đổi generic khác thì thường dán thêm một cái nhãn thông báo cho khách biết rằng đây là cùng một thứ thuốc, nhưng hình dáng viên thuốc, màu sắc viên thuốc có thay đổi, và sau đó có khi còn khẳng định lại trực tiếp với khách, nhất là với các cụ cao niên, kẻo các cụ về nhà mở thuốc ra lại ngỡ là nhầm thuốc, gọi trở lại pharmacy, pharmacy đã bận lại thêm bận vì có thêm một cái unsolved mystery để giải quyết . mỗi lần các cụ lấy generic loại khác, về nhà mở ra thấy màu khác, dạng viên thuốc khác, rồi gọi pharmacy phán 1 câu rùng rợn : "you gave me the wrong medicine"là người ở đầu dây bên kia nghe lạnh cả tóc gáy, tim đập chân rung, giải quyết xong là thấy mình giảm thọ thêm 1 chút !

VII Tiền
"How much will it cost " " toa thuốc này giá bao nhiêu, câu hỏi này mỗi ngày người cashier đứng ở phía ngoài pharmacy nghe cả trăm lần. Câu hỏi không có lời giải đáp ngay tại chỗ. Không có prescription coverage, không cò bảo hiểm vế thuốc men, pharmacist bấm vài phím trên computer người khách đợi vài phút là biết được giá tiền phải trả. Có prescription coverage ư, muốn biết copay là bao nhiêu thì xin hãy kiên nhẫn chờ, vì đại đa số trường hợp người pharmacist phải cho tất cả thông tin vào computer, fill cái toa thuốc, thì mới biết được copay, phần khách trả là bao nhiêu.
Mỗi người có prescription coverage, gọi tắt là Rx coverage, thì sẽ có một cái thẻ, prescription card, có thể ghi rõ phần copay là bao nhiêu, nhưng nhiều khi dựa trên đó để đoán cũng không chính xác.
Đọc hàng chữ như sau trên thẻ, người không làm ở pharmacy khó mà biết được những chữ và số sau đây có nghĩa là gì: G $ 10, BF $20, BNF $35. Mỗi công ty bảo hiểm có một danh sách thuốc gọi là formulary list, preferred drugs.
Thường loại thuốc này trên thẻ sẽ thuộc vào loại G (Generic) và BF (brand Formulary) bạn hãy tưởng tượng cái bánh đám cưới có 3 tầng, prescription coverage cũng chia ra 3 tầng như vậy, 3 tier coverage . tầng thứ nhất ở dưới cùng là lớn nhất, gồm các loại thuốc generic, tấn thứ nhì nhỏ hơn, y như danh sách brand name formulary vậy, và tiền copay cao hơn . Tầng thứ ba ở chót vót phía cao, nhỏ xíu, gồm những loại thuốc gọi là BNF (Brand name Non -Formulary), insurance sẽ trả một phần và phần còn lại người bệnh phải trả, tiền trả copay nhiều lúc cao đến chóng cả mặt khi nhiều insurance đưa ra công thức BNF = BF + aux, tiền trả cho BNF bằng tiền copay của BF cộng thêm một phần tiền nữa, phần tiền này bao nhiêu tùy thuộc vào loại thuốc BNF đắt đến đâu, tùy thuộc vào insurance company muốn chặt đẹp đến đâu.
VII Tiền, Tiền
Như đã trình bày, hàng chữ trên thẻ trong thí dụ ở trên có nghĩa là mua generic thì khàch trả $10, brand formulary thì trả $20, brand non formulary thì trả $35. giá tiền này là giá của 1 lần fill thuốc, thường là có thể lên đến 30 hay 34 ngày supply, tùy loại insurance. Không phải toa thuốc nào bác sĩ viết cho bệnh nhân cũng uống cả tháng, thành ra trụ sinh uống 10-14 ngày, chai thuốc nhỏ mặt dùng chỉ vài hôm cũng trả copay y như thuốc trị cao huyết áp uống trường kỳ mỗi tháng
Insurance có nhiều loại khác nhau với nhiều kiểu copay. Có insurance chỉ cover 30 hay 34 ngày thuốc thôi, còn có insurance cover đến 60 hay thậm chí 90 ngày thuốc. Một tháng trả copay bao nhiêu thì nếu mua ba tháng thuốc liền thường sẽ trả gấp ba như vậy. Có insurance đặc biệt hơn mua 90 ngày thuốc chỉ trả tiền tương đương với 2 copay của 30 ngày thuốc mà thôi.
Insurance cover 90 ngày thuốc, muốn fill 90 ngày thuốc, giả sử uống mỗi ngày 1 viên thì bác sĩ phải viết toa với sồ lượng 90 viên . bác sĩ viết 30 viên, 2 refill thì pharmacy phải fill 30 viên thôi, cộng 2 refills, chứ không thể nhập 2 refills cộng với 30 viên thành 90 viên cho được. Muốn đổi cái toa đó thành 90 viên, phải gọi bác sĩ xin phép, bác sĩ ok mởi đổi. Nếu là thuốc mới nhiều bác sĩ trả lời là không biết bệnh nhân uống thuốc có hiệu quả hay không, không muốn đổi thành 90 ngày thuốc, nếu uống thuốc có phản ứng không tốt, bị dị ứng, thuồc không hiệu quả, mua 90 ngày thuốc rối bỏ thì bệnh nhân mất tiền. Cũng có lý!
Copay cho 1 và 3 tháng dã khác, copay cho brand name và generic cũng khác, copay cho brand name thường đã cao, mỗi lần thuốc hết patent, generic ra đời, copay cho brand name nhảy vọt lên một cái nữa. Insurance muốn khách hàng xài generic. Một khi bác sĩ muốn bệnh nhân uống thuốc brand name mà thôi thì viết tên thuốc brand name trên toa kèm dòng chữ "dispense as written".
Thường trên toa có hai cái box, hay hai chỗ, bác sĩ check vào chỗ nào thì pharmacy sẽ phát thuốc đúng theo loại đó, Viết tên thuốc brand name và check cái box "Dispense as written" thì pharmacy bán thuốc brand name, viết tên thuốc brand name mà check cái box "Subtitition permissible" chẳng hạn thì pharmacy sẽ bán thuốc generic.
Bác sĩ cho phép dùng generic, mà khàch hàng chuộng thuốc brand name, thì pharmacy sẽ bán thuốc brand name. Nhưng đa số trường hợp khách hàng sẽ không hài lòng lắm khi thấy copay của mình bởi thuốc brand name bây giờ trở thành BNF, insurance làm đủ mọi cách để cho khách hàng phải chuyển sang dùng generic. Nhiều lúc bác sĩ muốn bệnh nhân uống brand name mà thôi, fill thuốc xong copay cao tít tắp, bản thân người khách nhờ pharmacy gọi đến bác sĩ xin đổi qua generic dễ trả ít tiền hơn, bác sĩ có người đồng ý, có người giữ nguyên ý kiến của mình. Nếu bác sĩ không đổi ý thì khách hàng chỉ có một cách là trả tiền.
Mấy năm trước, mùa allergy, thuốc Claritin bán chạy như tôm tươi. Sau đó Claritin được bán over the counter không cần toa, giá cũng không phải là rẻ. Generic của Claritin, Loratadine, nếu có Kaiser insurance và mua ở Kaiser pharmacy, 1 hũ 100 viên chưa tới $10. Mua claritin ở chỗ mấy kệ over the counterngoài mấy pharmacy, 1 hộp 10 viên giá nhiều lúc cũng tròm trèm $10. Generic của Claritin mua không cần toa, 1 hộp 100 viên cũng $20 nếu không có sale. Nhưng đối với insurance, giá đó vẫn là rẻ, rẻ quá xá.
Mùa allergy, bệnh nhân nhảy mũi, hắt xì, chảy nước mắt vì phấn hoa, đem cái toa bác sĩ viết thuốc allergy đến pharmacy để fill đợi chờ một hồi rồi nhiều khi nghe tin chẳng vui: thuốc không được cover. Nhiều insurance yêu cầu khách đi mua Claritin over the counter xài thử trước, nếu thuốc không có hiệu quả thì bác sĩ gọi đến số 1-800ø. Để xin cover thuốc allergy khác.
Đợi chờ, chờ đợi, qua bao nhiêu cửa ải giấy tờ và bao nhiêu cú phone, cuối cùng rồi thuốc allergy viết trên toa cũng được cover, nhưng khi ngó đến copay nhiều người vẫn gần như ngất xỉu, vì copay cao quá xá. Brand name non formulary, allegra, Zyrtec, Clarinex, mấy thuốc allergy quảng cáo um sùm trên TV đến hồi insurance cover thì giá chẳng rẻ chút nào. Muốn tồn ít tiến ư, khách cứ ra mua Benadryl hay Claritin over the counter mà dùng, insurance hầu như muốn nói bóng gió như vậy.

VIII Tiền, Tiền, Tiền
Giá thuốc không rẻ, người không có insurance có thể mặc cả được một chút vì pharmacy có thể match price. Pharmacy A giá thuốc này là $$, không có thuốc đủ hay không có thuốc. Pharmacy B cách pharmacy A mấy blocks có đủ thuốc, nói với pharmacy B là bên tiệm A hàng xóm giá rẻ hơn, match price được không, pharmacist sẻ gọi qua tiệm A để kiểm chứng, và bán thuốc bàng giá bên tiệm A. và pharmacy có giá rẻ kia không xa lắm so với pharmacy bên này.
Match price chỉ có thể làm với người không có prescrition coverage. Người có insurnace, copay mua thuốc, đi ở pharmacy nào cũng sẽ như nhau. Thường là như vậy nếu copay đã được định trước, mấy dollars cho generic, bao nhiêu cho thuốc brand name. Có insurance khách hàng trả 25% trị giá thuốc, giá thuốc mỗi pharmacy mỗi khác thì giá copay cũng đổi chút đỉnh. Nhưng có điều làm cho lắm người khi trả tiền thuốc phải sửng sốt: Deductible.
Nhiều insurance, khách hàng phải tự trả bằng tiền túi của minh trườc cho đến một mức nào đó rồi insurance mới bắt đâu trả, khoảng tiến này là phấn deductible có thể là $100, có thể là $500, tùy Insurance. Deductible có khi tính gộp cho tất cả càc thành viên trong gia đình, có khi tính riêng cho từng người trong gia đình, tùy insurance.
Giả sử có khách hàng phải trả $100 deductible. Khách có 2 toa thuốc, fill xong toa đầu tiên thấy copay $90, toa thứ nhì copay $35. Khách nhăn nhó nói vối pharmacist, brand name insurance nói là copay có $25, sao chặt đẹp quá vậy nè, pharmacy bill lộn rồi không có giá đó được. Pharmacist check lại, thấy toa đầu tiên toàn bộ $90 là tính vào deductible, toa thứ nhì $10 tính vào deductible, còn lại là copay $25. Nói với khách. Vậy hả vậy hả, khách nói rồi chuyển qua mục khác.

IX. Đoạn Kết
Cám ơn bạn đọc đã kiên nhẫn đọc đến phần chót này. Mỗi lần đến Pharmacy, nếu phải đợi chờ, mong bạn hãy nhớ đền những chuyện vừa viết ở trên, để thông cảm phần nào cho những người làm ở pharmacy.
Nếu sau một hồi chờ đợi, người ở pharmacy thông báo cho bạn là có vấn đế này vấn đề kia với toa thuốc, với insurance, với loại thuốc bạn cần, mong bạn đọc thông cảm. Xin đừng sửng cồ, nạt nộ lại "Don't kill the messenger!" Đừng giận cá chém thớt.
Đâu sẽ vào đó, nhưng phải chờ thêm một chút, một chút nữa, thậm chí có khi vài ngày nữa, từ từ rồi pharmacy sẽ giải quyết giùm bạn. Take it easy, bởi pharmacy ở Mỹ, chuyện thuốc men ở Mỹ, sorry nha, đó là một chuyện dài nhiều tập, không bao giờ dứt, và nếu có kết thúc sau mỗi chương đi nữa thì nhiều khi kết thúc đó cũng không có hậu

[florida80]

Hoa anh túc (hoa thuốc phiện) được trồng bất hợp pháp ở Mexico. (Hình: Getty Images)

Sống trên đời con người phải chịu đau khổ, sinh lão bệnh tử, người bệnh và người trước khi chết vì bệnh phải qua những cơn đau, y dược giúp người bệnh trong cơn đau. Thiên nhiên cây cỏ từ ngàn năm đã giúp con người, như thuốc Aspirin phát nguồn từ vỏ cây liễu nhưng lạm dụng thuốc từ dược thảo đến thuốc tây bào chế đã đưa đến chứng nghiện nhất là nghiện ma túy và nghiện các thuốc có chất á phiện.

Viện nghiên cứu quốc gia (Hoa Kỳ) về nghiện thuốc trong năm 2018 cho thấy trong năm 2017 đã có 72,000 người chết vì ngộ độc so với 64 ngàn người trong năm 2017 và 52 ngàn người trong năm 2016, giống thống kê của trung tâm kiểm bệnh CDC cho thấy chết vì ngộ độc ở Mỹ tăng mỗi năm 9.6%. Đa số chết vì thuốc có chất á phiện (opioid). Chết vì thuốc có chất á phiện mỗi năm qua mặt chết vì tai nạn giao thông?




Thuốc có chất á phiện bao gồm các thuốc tinh chế từ cây á phiện và các chất á phiện tổng hợp và chế tạo bởi các dược phòng. Thuốc phiện lấy từ nhựa cây thuốc phiện đã được dùng khắp thế giới trên cả ngàn năm để trị đau nhức, tiêu chảy, làm thuốc ho hay làm thuốc ngủ. Chất chính trong cây á phiện là Morphine được tìm thấy năm 1806. Morphine được dùng trong trường hợp đau đẻ của các sản phụ sau đó lại được các bà trong Hoàng Gia Anh thời Victoria nhấm nháp để qua những cơn buồn chán khi bị vua chê bỏ.

Heroin là chất á phiện nặng hơn Morphine vào thị trường ở thế kỷ thứ 19. Đến thế kỷ 20 thị trường thuốc có chất á phiện tổng hợp bùng rộ gồm Fentanyl, Methadone, Oxycodone (Percocet) Vicodin (Hydrocodone) Hydromorphone (Dilaudid) các tên thuốc quen thuộc đối với bệnh nhân nghiện thuốc đến phòng mạch và bệnh viện đòi hỏi bác sĩ biên toa.

Mục đích của thuốc có chất á phiện lúc đầu là trị các chứng đau, các cơn đau, khi các thuốc đau nhức khác có chất chống đau như Tytenol hay các thuốc kháng viêm trị đau như Advil, Ibuprofen không hiệu quả. Thuốc được dùng nhiều nhất để chữa đau cho các bệnh ung thư hay sau các cuộc giải phẫu.

Từ năm 1914 đến năm 1980, thuốc không được dùng nhiều vì nạn nghiện thuốc có chất á phiện lan tràn, các bác sĩ tự giới hạn dùng thuốc ngay cả để giảm đau trong bệnh ung thư nhất là trong thập niên 1970.

Năm 1980, các bác sĩ bắt đầu thay đổi vì phong trào bệnh viện chữa những người bệnh vào giai đoạn hấp hối hay giai đoạn bệnh không còn được chữa trị (Hospice) bùng lên từ Anh tràn qua Mỹ. Thuốc đau có chất á phiện gần như là được dùng bắt buộc trong các trường hợp ung thư vào thời kỳ cuối cho bệnh nhân nằm trong bệnh viện.

Năm 2001, JCAH (hội đồng quản trị các bệnh viện của chính phủ chương trình Medicare) đặt qui định đau là một trong những dấu hiệu sinh tồn (Vital sign) của người bệnh ngoài 4 dấu hiệu áp huyết, nhịp tim, nhịp thở và nhiệt độ.

Khác với 4 dấu hiệu khách quan, đau là chủ quan từ người bệnh, người bệnh cho y tá và bác sĩ biết cơn đau được định từ 1 đến 10, nếu đau trên 3 thì bác sĩ phải cho thuốc giảm đau. Dấu hiệu này tốt khi bệnh nhân đau thật, bác sĩ và y tá phải chăm sóc bệnh nhân nhưng mặt khác lại đưa đến trường hợp nghiện thuốc. Các bệnh nhân nghiện thường đến phòng cấp cứu than đau lưng, ở phòng đợi bệnh y tá xem bệnh nhân trước lấy nước tiểu để xem nếu bệnh nhân có bị sạn thận. Bệnh nhân lấy mẫu nước tiểu trong phòng vệ sinh lấy tay bấu vào đầu đường tiểu, khi y tá thử nước tiểu có máu trong nước tiểu, chứng sạn thận được xác định, trong khi chờ CAT scan bệnh nhân được chích Dilaudid hay Morphine!

Những bệnh nhân bị đau trên cấp độ 3 nếu không được cho thuốc giảm đau, Medicare sẽ xem lại hồ sơ và không bồi hoàn viện phí. Những bệnh nhân “chuyên nghiệp” vì vậy càng khó đi ra con đường nghiện ngập khác với ý nghĩ tốt của một bác sĩ viết trong tờ báo y học New England (NEJM).

“Đau giết hồn người bệnh, không bệnh nhân nào phải khổ vì chịu đau một cách không cần thiết, trong ngành y bác sĩ và y tá phải biết thương người bệnh.”

Dịch nghiện thuốc có chất á phiện lan tràn trên tất cả các tiểu bang và tất cả các sắc dân. Thống kê của Đại Học Princeton năm 2015 cho thấy tử vong do ngộ độc thuốc tăng mạnh từ đầu thế kỷ thứ 21.

Trong ba nguyên nhân tử vong thuốc, rượu và tự tử, thuốc đứng hàng đầu, đa số nạn nhân là công nhân với những người lợi tức kém không được hưởng lợi trong nền kinh tế bất quân bình mặc dù kinh tế phát triển.

Tổng Thống Trump vẫn muốn xây bức tường biên giới Mỹ-Mễ, một trong những lý do là bức tường sẽ chận bọn buôn thuốc phiện và bè đảng Mafia vượt biên giới đem thuốc phiện từ Mễ vào các xứ Nam Mỹ như Columbia vào Mỹ.

Trên thực tế dịch thuốc có chất á phiện có nhiều nguyên nhân nhưng tinh thần chống di dân vì di dân lậu thế kỷ 21 nghiện thuốc cũng giống như năm 1915 vào thời kỳ chiến tranh nha phiến dân Mỹ đã nhìn vào di dân Trung Hoa lúc nào cũng cho là họ nghiện ma túy, nhưng những năm đầu thế kỷ 20 chết vì ngộ độc không phải vì dân Trung Hoa mà vì các hãng thuốc Hoa Kỳ.

Thế kỷ 21 cũng giống như đầu thế kỷ 20, các đại công ty dược phòng đã đóng góp một phần lớn vào nạn dịch thuốc phiện. Năm 1996, thuốc có chất á phiện mới Oxy Contin ra đời, được chế tạo từ Oxycodone, do công ty dược phẩm Purdue. Qua sách Dope sick (bệnh nghiện), bà Beth Mary đã cho thấy công ty Purdue thiếu trách nhiệm. Tác dụng của Oxy Contin chậm và lâu hơn các thuốc khác.

Công ty Purdue đã quảng cáo thuốc có tác dụng chậm sẽ giúp bệnh nhân ít bị nghiện hơn thuốc Oxycodone và tác dụng gây trạng thái hồ hởi phơi phới (Euphoria) của thuốc phiện cũng nhẹ hơn. Dựa trên lý thuyết này cơ quan FDA (kiểm soát thuốc và thực phẩm) đã cấp giấy phép cho hãng chế tạo thuốc Oxy Contin với lượng Oxycodone gấp đôi. Trên nhãn hiệu thuốc FDA viết “thuốc Oxy Contin” hấp thụ chậm làm giảm khả năng nghiện thuốc.” Nhân viên FDA chấp thuận cho dán những lời này trên nhãn hiệu sau đó được nhận vào làm trong hãng thuốc Purdue!

Chiến dịch quảng cáo thuốc nhắm vào giới bác sĩ, thuyết phục bác sĩ là thuốc Oxy Contin không gây nghiện đã tích cực thuê hàng trăm trình dược viên vào văn phòng bác sĩ, chi cho các bác sĩ hàng chục triệu, đãi ăn nhà hàng, tiệc tùng cuối năm, trả vé máy bay đi nghỉ hè những trung tâm du lịch nổi tiếng trên thế giới cho cả bác sĩ, y tá và gia đình. Tổng cộng hơn 5,000 bác sĩ, dược sĩ, y tá được công ty Purdue huấn luyện đi nói chuyện khắp nước cổ động thần dược chữa đau nhức Oxy Contin. Trên thực tế Oxy Contin là thuốc gây nghiện. Thuốc “phê” gấp đôi thuốc Oxycodone. Bệnh nhân thích Oxy Contin hơn Oxycodone vì thuốc Oxy Contin có thể bị đập bể hay làm tan vỏ thuốc rồi hít bột thuốc như Cocaine hay chích như ma túy Heroin.

Oxy Contin là thuốc bán chạy hàng đầu, mỗi năm đem về cho công ty Purdue một tỷ Mỹ kim. Bệnh nhân xài, người nhà và bạn bè cũng xài ké, lấy thuốc đem bán, ăn cắp thuốc từ các dược phòng, các “xưởng buôn bán thuốc” (Pill mills) mọc lên như nấm. Các bác sĩ mở xưởng kiếm tiền dễ, biên toa không cần khám bệnh có khi không cần thấy mặt bệnh nhân không cần hồ sơ. Những làng nhỏ như Williamson ở West Virgina đầy những xưởng bán thuốc. Mỗi tháng tên các bác sĩ bị treo bằng hành nghề nhiều hơn nhưng những xưởng bán thuốc không giảm.

Dân đến Williamson bằng xe buýt sắp hàng lấy thuốc dài ngoài phòng mạch. Một xưởng bán thuốc kiếm 4-5 triệu mỗi tháng dễ dàng. Trung điểm là vùng núi Appalachia đa số da trắng, dân làm hầm mỏ vùng Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee, West Virginia. Những người da trắng tỉnh nhỏ chết vì dịch Oxy Contin nhiều hơn là chết vì khủng bố.

Người hùng cô đơn đương đầu với dich Oxy Contin là Bác Sĩ Art Vanzee ở Tây Nam Virginia can đảm tố cáo công ty Purdue và cơ quan FDA, buộc họ phải nhận trách nhiệm đã gây ra dịch Oxy Contin, ông cũng ra Quốc Hội tường trình. Bác Sĩ Vanzee cùng cô y tá Beth Davis phải chữa nhiều bệnh nhân nghiện thuốc ở quận Lee tiểu bang Virginia, nhìn thấy các bệnh nhân trẻ chết vì Oxy Contin mỗi ngày họ nhất định tranh đấu, cuối cùng hãng Purdue phải nhận tội quảng cáo gian lận, công ty bồi thường 600 triệu Mỹ kim, 3 viên chức cao cấp bị phạt nhưng các anh em nhà Sackler chủ hãng Purdue không bị tội!

Thuốc Oxy Contin là khởi đầu của dịch nghiện thuốc có chất á phiện, nếu Oxy Contin không còn sản xuất, nạn nghiện thuốc phiện vẫn tiếp tục. Từ năm 192, Heroin vẫn đứng hàng đầu cho dân nghiện trên đường phố tiếp đến là Morphine. Có hai trận dịch một là dịch nghiện trên đường phố và một dịch vì lạm dụng thuốc đến từ bệnh nhân, bác sĩ, dược phòng vì vậy Oxy Contin giảm nhưng dịch nghiện thuốc vẫn còn.

Đa số người nghiện không chết vì Oxy Contin mà vì dùng các thuốc tổng hợp Fentanyl, Heroin và Cocaine. Các thuốc này được dùng chung với các thuốc ngủ và thuốc an thần như Valium, Xanax, các thuốc này mạnh và rẻ tiền. Fentanyl, mạnh gấp 25 đến 50 lần hơn Heroin, được chế tạo năm 1960, dùng cho giảm đau và gây mê trong các phẫu thuật ngắn như soi ruột già. Fentanyl nay là nguyên nhân chính gây tử vong vì thuốc có chất á phiện, tỷ lệ này cao 90% ở tiểu bang Massachussetts.

Tổng Thống Trump muốn xây tường ở biên giới Mỹ-Mễ để ngăn chận thuốc á phiện đến từ biên giới vùng Nam Hoa Kỳ nhưng vụ án xử El Chapo, trùm băng đảng Sinaloa, ở New York cho thấy bức tường không chận được thuốc phiện. Băng đảng Mễ dùng các đường hầm dưới tường ở biên giới từ đầu thập niên 1990, khi đường hầm bị chính quyền Hoa Kỳ đóng, thuốc phiện lậu được chở qua Mỹ dưới dạng đồ hộp qua biển và tàu đánh cá không qua hàng rào biên giới, có khi thuốc được chuyển như chở hàng qua xe vận tải và xe hơi qua các trạm biên giới. Mấy năm nay Bitcoin cũng được dùng để buôn thuốc phiện.

Bức tường biên giới Mỹ-Mễ không ngăn chận được thuốc Fentanyl lậu vì đa số thuốc được chế tạo từ Trung Quốc. Fentanyl và Methylamphe Tamine có thể mua từ Trung Quốc qua thư đặt hàng. Các loại thuốc đau dán ngoài da cho bệnh nhân ung thư nhập cảng từ Trung Quốc pha với Heroin hay thuốc viên có thể mua qua ngả Canada hay Mễ. Các con buôn địa phương chế biến bột thành thuốc viên trong các phòng thí nghiệm China Girl, Good Fella, Jack pot, các công ty ở Trung Quốc còn bảo đảm gởi các kiện hàng thay thế khi hàng bị đánh mất hay bị chính quyền Hoa Kỳ tịch thu.

Năm 2017, cơ quan kiểm soát thuốc DEA yêu cầu Trung Quốc cấm sản xuất Fentanyl, các hãng ở Trung Quốc đổi nhãn hiệu thành “chất hóa học trong việc nghiên cứu.” Sau lệnh cấm của chính quyền Trump, Tháng Sáu, năm 2018, quan thuế Hoa Kỳ tịch thu 110 lbs Fentanyl giấu trong bao chứa chất bột sắt Iron Oxide chở qua từ Trung Quốc với số lượng có thể giết hàng ngàn người.

Câu chuyện dịch thuốc có chất á phiện ở thế kỷ 21 không gì mới so với dịch thuốc ở thế kỷ 19. Hoa Kỳ là xứ tôn trọng luật pháp, luật pháp trên hết, nhưng vẫn không chận được dân nghiện thuốc trong một môi trường giáo dục không được đặt trên tư lợi. (Việt Nguyên)

[florida80]

Branded With Kindness

Awesome Workers, Dallas, Georgia, Kind Strangers, Non-Dialogue, Pharmacy, USA | Hopeless | February 8, 2019


I was dropping off some prescriptions at my local 24-hour pharmacy around ten at night. There were only two employees working at the time: a pharmacist and a pharmacy tech. They were obviously extremely busy. When I was asked when I’d like to pick up my prescriptions, I simply said I’d like them as soon as possible. The tech looked genuinely terrified to inform me that there was at least an hour wait time. Of course, I expected as much, so that was no problem at all. I could tell from her demeanor that other people had not been as understanding. I told her that I was planning on going out to eat, so she could take her time and that I hoped that customers would learn to be more understanding.

When I returned to retrieve my medicine, one of them was ringing up at four times the amount I expected. As I have a heart condition that prevents me from working, I knew there was no way I could afford that. I purchased the other medication and decided that I would just call the hospital and ask if they could send a cheaper alternative prescription to the pharmacy. Upon speaking to the pharmacist, I was told that it would be another thirty minutes before he would even be able to check for an alternative. I decided to sit in the waiting area, as I had nothing else to do at the time and I wasn’t in any particular rush.

At that point, it was clear that the young lady’s shift had ended and she had left for the night. The pharmacist was now working by himself. I waited patiently as I watched this man run around and assemble orders, answer phones, type furiously on the computer, check inventory, and deal with customers in both the drive-thru and at the counter. That poor man didn’t have a breath to himself. Eventually, he looked up and noticed I was still there. He called me to the counter and rang up my medicine at a huge discount — much less than I was expecting to pay in the first place. I thanked him profusely and wished him a better night than the one he appeared to be having. It was only when I reached the car that I realized that he hadn’t had time to find a generic alternative and he had given me the name brand medication. He brought it down from 105 dollars to 17. As someone struggling financially, that meant the world to me.

I made sure to call the manager in the morning and tell them how wonderful their employees were. I will definitely be going back there. It might cost a little more than other pharmacies and it might take a little longer, but the customer service cannot be matched.

Moral of the story: a little patience and kindness go a long way.

[florida80]

(I am handing out a prescription to a patient.)

Me: “That’ll be £8.40, please.”

(I see that she’s getting her card out, so I press “card payment” at the till. I am not paying that much attention and the payment goes through fine.)

Customer: “When do I put my PIN in?”

(I’m confused as the payment has already gone through.)

Me: “The payment has already gone through contactless, and here is the receipt.”

Customer: *getting visibility upset* “I do not have that! How can it go through when I haven’t put my PIN in? Let me have a look at that receipt now. There’s no way I could have paid for that; I haven’t put my PIN in.”

(I check the receipt and notice it’s been paid using a specific credit card, which is different from the card she has in hand. I show her the card and receipt number.)

Me: “You put your purse too close to the contactless machine.”

Customer: “But I didn’t put my PIN in; I did not authorise this transaction!”

Me: “This is a new thing in the banks are doing to make transactions a little bit quicker. It only covers payments under £30.”

Customer: “But I did not authorise this transaction! I did not want to pay with that card! I don’t want this ‘contact list’ nonsense!”

Me: “If you don’t want contactless, you have to speak to your bank.”

Customer: “I certainly will be. I do not want this ‘contact list’ nonsense. Anyone could steal my money.”

(As she is getting upset about something I can’t help her with, I try to end the conversation.)

Me: “Here’s your prescription that has been paid for. Good luck with the bank!”

(She said thank you for the prescription, but continued to rant about how she should have to use a PIN number, how contactless is stupid, and how the bank is making it easy to steal money.)

[florida80]

Not Even Partially Apologetic

Comeuppance, Ignoring & Inattentive, Jerk, Pharmacy, USA | Right | February 4, 2019


(I work in a retail pharmacy in a suburban city. A lot of snobbish, entitled people come through our line every day, thinking they are God’s gifts to the world and that we should feel honored to bend over backward and kiss their a**es. It’s a Sunday afternoon, during a slow hour in the late summer. It’s just me and my pharmacist working today. I’m helping someone in our drive-thru, so the pharmacist helps this guy who comes up to the counter. I overhear this exchange as I’m ringing up the person I’m helping.)

Pharmacist: “Hi, there! How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m picking up a prescription.”

Pharmacist: *looks up the guy’s name in the system and goes to retrieve his script* “Just so you know, sir, we didn’t have the full quantity of this medication in stock, so we had to give you a partial supply. We should have the rest in tomorrow morning, though.”

Customer: *raising his voice* “You know, this is bulls***. I got a phone call saying that my prescription was ready in full, but every time I come here, you guys only have a part of the d*** thing!”

Pharmacist: “I do apologize, sir. Are you sure the phone call said it was done in full?”

Customer: “What, do you think I’m stupid?! Of course it did! Here, listen!”

(He pulled out his phone and replayed the voicemail on speaker so we could hear. It very clearly stated that the prescription was ready for a PARTIAL FILL. Obviously flushed and embarrassed, the guy tried to brush it off like it was still our fault, paid for his partial, and left. My pharmacist paraded that little victory around for the rest of the year.)

[florida80]

(The pharmacy where I work is the only 24-hour one in town. We keep all our narcotics in a time-delayed safe that we don’t open at night. The only exception is a few we keep out for hospital patients. One night after 11:00 pm, a lady comes through the drive-thru to drop off a script for one of these medications.)

Me: “We have this in stock and we can have it ready for you around 7:00 am.”

Lady: “I can’t get it now? I’ve been out all day! Can’t you just give me a couple to get me by?”

(I’m thinking, “If you’ve been out all day, why wait until this late at night to get more?”)

Me: “This is in a time-delayed safe, so we can’t fill these at night.”

Lady: “Well, what’s the point in being a full-service, 24-hour pharmacy if you can’t fill prescriptions at night?”

Me: “We can fill most prescriptions at night, but this is in our time-delayed safe which can’t be opened after eight.”

Lady: “I don’t care about anyone else’s prescriptions. This is for me!”

[florida80]

Power Play

Australia, Crazy Requests, Money, Pharmacy | Right | January 28, 2019


(There is a storm and we have lost power. We are still open but are doing everything manually and are only accepting cash. We tell customers this when they enter the store and have a big sign at the checkouts stating this. It’s dull but we have light from outside and battery operated lights at the desks.)

Customer: “Okay I’ll take these.”

(The customer shoves a bunch of items into my hands.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am. Just so you know, we have lost power. We are taking cash only until the power comes back.”

Customer: “But I wish to pay by card!” *hands me debit card*

Me: “I am sorry, but as I said, we have no power. The EFT machine is run by power and we have no emergency generator.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! You just cut the power because you knew I was coming, didn’t you? I demand you put the power back on now!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I have no control over the power. I cannot process this unless you are paying cash. I am happy to hold your items if you would like to go get cash now, or come back later?”

Customer: “You’re no help.” *storms out of store*

Next Customer: *who happens to be a regular* “I would have said yes, I did cut the power just to piss you off.”

Me: “I was tempted. But I like my job.”

(The regular customer returned with a box of chocolates to help us through the power outage!)

[florida80]

Sick Over A Dollar

Medication, Money, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, Philadelphia, USA | Right | January 27, 2019


(At our pharmacy, a particular woman has called in three times this week, asking about her prescription prices and wanting to switch stores, calling us terrible, saying we hate her because we overprice her meds, etc. I had the luck to deal with each phone call. Near closing time, I recognize her voice as I’m checking her out.)

Customer: “Why is my prescription $10? Last time it was $9.”

Me: “It looks like the type of discount card you have says you can only use it six times for this particular medication before it runs out.” *I point out where it’s written on the computer screen, even though I already told her this earlier when she called*

Customer: “Well… well, your $4 list says this should only be $4 for a month’s supply!”

Me: “If you look here, our state has a minimum price on this medication that we can’t go under. Without insurance, we have to charge $10.”

Customer: “You’re a bunch of liars. That’s false advertising. That doesn’t make sense.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I thought we had already talked about this over the phone. That’s something our store can’t change; it’s a state requirement.”

Customer: “You mean I could go to Jersey and get it cheaper?”

Me: “New Jersey’s not on the list, so it’s possible. I know you’ve switched a few of your prescriptions to other stores—“

Customer: “You guys are all snakes. This is ridiculous. It shouldn’t be $10.”

Me: “If you like, I can put the prescription back and you can try to get it filled somewhere else.”

Customer: “NO! I will DIE without my medication TONIGHT.” *this was not a drug that would harm you, even if you stopped taking it for over a week* “I need this NOW. Just give me it.”

Me: *quietly hands her the bag after she’s done throwing her change down on the counter at me*

Customer: “I hope you’re happy. I hope you know you’re scamming me and getting away with it. I could’ve needed that extra dollar. Karma will get you and you’re going to go to Hell.”

(The kicker is she called the next day and complained about me being a b**** and saying I was trying to withhold her medication. The lead pharmacist was on that night, and knew she was the irrational one.)

[florida80]

Allergic To Politeness

Extra Stupid, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, UK | Healthy Right | January 24, 2019


Customer: “I need something for allergies.”

(I show him the selection and he chooses.)

Me: “Are you on any other medication?”

Customer: “None of your business. Give me my tablets.”

Me: “I’m not allowed to sell them to you if there is a chance they could interact with something you are already taking.”

Customer: “Well, f*** you!” *storms off*

Colleague: “You would think he would be wiser after the last time.”

Me: “What happened?”

Colleague: “Our last pharmacist gave in and sold them. He took them while shopping and crashed his car the second he left the car park. He was taking codeine and had a bad reaction.”

Me: “Wow.”

[florida80]

Customer: Do you have any of those Nicotine sprays?
Me: Sure!
(I grab one off the shelf and scan it through the till, tell him and the price and wait. He starts going through an obviously empty wallet and card holder).
Customer: Sorry about this.
Me: It’s okay.
Customer: i was just thrown out of the mobility shop because I was wasting his time.
Me: Oh, right.
Customer: I don’t have a bank card. My brothers won’t give it to me until I sort myself out because I ended up in (town) infirmary again.
Me: Oh what happened?
Customer: Well, I was on the bus to (small town) and I didn’t fall in the pond in (small town) but I fell in the river in (large town, 20 miles south of small town) and ended up in the back of the police car for two hours and in (large town) infirmary.
Me: Oh, dear….
Customer: Well, I won’t waste your time anymore.
Me: That’s okay and maybe your brothers will let you have some money for the nicotine spray. We’re open until six.
(Customer nods and tries to grab the spray but I take it from him smiling).
Me: Don’t worry, I’ll put that back for you.
(I smile, watch him go, and then collapse on the floor in the fit of laughter).

[florida80]

Pharmacy, UK, Wales | Unfiltered | January 18, 2019


(Customer walks in, says something I can’t here and my boss – who was by the door – gives me an odd look as he walks up to the counter).
Me: Hello sir, what can I get you?
Customer: I need something for schizophrenia.
Me: Oh, okay….
(I really don’t know what to say at that point and he starts looking at the hand sanitizers on the stand by the till).
Customer: Is this really only £2.00?
Me: I’ll check.
(I run it through the till, it is indeed £2.00. He pays for it, puts it in his back and leans forward to read my name badge).
Customer: Thank you (name) it was nice to meet you.
Me: Nice to meet you too Sir. Have a nice day.
(He leaves and my boss walks over to me, where I am collapsed on the floor laughing.)
Boss: When he walked in he said “Welcome to British Airways!”
Me: Oh, well he asked me for something for schizophrenia.
Boss: Oh God.
Me: That’s two in a week. Where are they all coming from?

[florida80]

It All Boils Down To This

Health & Body, Parents, Pharmacy, Singapore | Right | January 12, 2019


(A young mother pushes her baby over in a pram and tells me that her baby took some “warm” water and splashed his face with it the day before. I look at the baby and he seems bubbly and happy. There is barely any sign of redness of his skin and there are no blisters, either.)

Me: “There’s isn’t any redness at all. He seems fine.”

Mother: “There’s a mark here.” *points under his eye*

Me: “Well, it’s not that obvious. You shouldn’t need to do anything about it. It’ll go away on its own.”

Mother: “The water got in his eyes.”

(I look at the baby’s eyes. There is also no redness.)

Me: “He looks fine. He’s not crying, either.”

Mother: “He cried for ten minutes yesterday. Will it leave a scar?”

Me: “No… his skin did not even get damaged. You really don’t have to do anything.”

(The mother looked a bit relieved yet doubtful at the same time but she thanked me anyway. Later she came back and asked if sun protection was needed to prevent scarring. Just to satisfy my curiosity, I asked if she really meant “warm” water or if she meant “hot” water. She told me that it was freshly boiled water with a triumphant expression. Well, either this baby has skin made of steel… or she left the boiled water out longer than she thought and it had cooled down already!)

[florida80]

(We’re short-staffed and it’s been a busy, chaotic morning with customers practically lined up out the door as they wait for their prescriptions. Eventually, we get through the queue and stop to catch our breath in a brief moment while there are no more customers in the shop. We’re all a bit tired when yet another customer enters and looks around, appearing confused. My coworker approaches her and blurts out this gem:)

Coworker: “Can I point you in the wrong direction?”

(Fortunately, the customer had a great sense of humour and was soon successfully served.)

[florida80]

I’m a customer in a pharmacy in Berlin, behind an older man. I don’t speak German as I’m just a tourist, but he is very obviously driving the cashier crazy, pointing to everything five times and asking the price, wasting her time by debating the price, raising his voice, and flailing his arms about. Even though I can’t understand a word he is saying, his rudeness is clear! The cashier is doing a great job of staying calm, but he is visibly upsetting her.

When he finally leaves — some five minutes later, only having purchased one thing — I approach the register, smile, and roll my eyes. As she serves me, she chats away about the customer — made obvious from the things she points to while talking — and it’s clear from the relief on her face that she just needs to unload on someone who understands. I smile and nod and laugh when she laughs, and say, “Ja,” a couple of times, and she seems much calmer and happy by the end of the transaction.

Dear cashier, even though I didn’t understand a word you said, our conversation was wonderful and friendly; we both speak the universal language of “hating bad customers

[florida80]

Time To Throw Them Some Shade

Bosses & Owners, Jerk, Lazy/Unhelpful, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, USA | Working | January 3, 2019


(I have stopped at a chain pharmacy near my home. I need to pick up makeup for my mother. On my last trip, the manager told me he would order the shade I wanted. Today I overhear a new manager explaining to the cashier that the old manager was transferred to try to fix serious problems at another store. The new manager is covering until the old one comes back. The makeup is still not in stock. I select my other items and approach the cashier.)

Cashier: “Did you find everything today?”

Me: “No. [Old Manager] said he was going to try and get some [Brand] makeup in shade 1C. You still don’t have it.”

Cashier: “We have [Brand] makeup.” *wanders over to shelf*

Me: “Yes, but I need shade 1C. You don’t have it.”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Me: “[Old Manager] was going to try and get [Brand] 1C makeup for me. You still don’t have it.”

Manager: “Oh, I saw that order. I canceled it.”

Me: “Why?”

Manager: “Because we have [Brand] makeup in a lot of shades. We don’t need that one, as well.”

Me: “But he was ordering it especially for me. You even have a space on the shelf for it.”

Manager: *grabs a much darker shade* “We have 4C.”

Me: “Yes, and I’m sure that’s helpful for someone who needs 4C. I need 1C.”

Manager: “So, you don’t want this?”

Me: “No. Can you replace the order for the 1C?”

Manager: “No, I’m not going to stock that. We have plenty of other shades.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll get it at [Competitor], as well as everything else I need.” *turns to leave*

Cashier: “So, you don’t want this?” *points to items I left on the counter*

Me: “No, not anymore.”

Manager: “It’s racial, isn’t it?”

(I stared at him for a second. He’s the same race I am, but [Old Manager] is a minority in my area. I decided it wasn’t worth the effort, so I just walked out without answering. I’m really hoping [Old Manager] comes back soon.)

[florida80]

(I’m working in a pharmacy, and we are absolutely slammed and understaffed. There is a register up front for people to check out with items if they aren’t picking up a prescription, and it’s a common courtesy to do so, rather than bother a busy technician. A customer approaches the counter with a full cart of items. I tell her I will be with her momentarily and finish counting the prescription. She huffs and sighs audibly while I finish. I approach the counter and smile.)

Me: “Are you picking up a prescription today?”

Customer: *rolling her eyes* “No, I’m not. I just finished shopping and waited a very long time for a lazy employee to finally check me out.”

(It took me all of about thirty seconds to get to her.)

Me: “I’m sorry about your wait, ma’am.”

Customer: “Good. Now check me out.”

(She unloads her entire cart, and it takes about ten minutes to ring everything out. During this time, a sizable line forms behind her. I only have one coworker in the pharmacy, and she is running back and forth helping customers in the drive-thru and drop-off areas, so production has completely stopped.)

Me: “Do you have a rewards card? I can take a phone number, as well.”

Customer: “No, I don’t feel like digging it out. Just finish the transaction.”

Me: “Are you sure? You won’t get the sale prices without it.”

Customer: “DON’T QUESTION ME! JUST FINISH THE TRANSACTION!”

(She mutters something about incompetent employees while I finish her transaction, which comes to over $300. She pays in cash.)

Me: “Thank you. Have a nice night!”

(She takes a minute to look over her receipt, and comes to the conclusion that she’s been cheated.)

Customer: “Why didn’t I get the sale prices?”

Me: “You refused to let me scan your reward card, remember? I told you that you wouldn’t get the sale prices without it.”

Customer: “But I have one! You should have just given me a discount!”

Me: “Ma’am, unfortunately, we have to actually scan it or type in a phone number in order to give you the sale prices.”

Customer: “Well, then, redo it.”

Me: *astonished* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Redo the transaction. RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Ma’am, I would have to refund the entire transaction and re-ring each and every item in order to do that.”

Customer: “Fine. You should have done it correctly to begin with.”

Me: *defeated* “Will you at least step to the back of the line? There are people here who are sick and need their medications.”

Customer: “NO! HOW DARE YOU? I DEMAND THAT YOU TAKE CARE OF ME, NOW!”

(I begin the long process of refunding her, item by item, and re-ringing the transaction. We’ve now been at this register for so long that many customers have given up and left.)

Me: “The total comes to $290. You saved $10 today.”

Customer: “See, now, that wasn’t so difficult, was it? Next time, do it right.”

(She leaves, smirking at the other customers in line as she goes.)

Customer #2: “What in the blue f*** was her problem?”

[florida80]

You Got Blood On Your Hands

Connecticut, Health & Body, Ignoring & Inattentive, Non-Dialogue, Pharmacy, Retail, Revolting, USA | Right | December 21, 2018


I am a cashier at a pharmacy, and we get a lot of unsavory characters. An older man walks in and comes to my counter to complain about a battery he bought for his blood sugar tester. Since it’s a new battery, I can only conclude that the plastic is still on. Lo and behold, I open it up and the plastic is still on.

He thanks me profusely and I wish him a good day, thinking that he is satisfied and will be on his way. He puts a test strip in the machine and takes his blood sugar at the counter. I ask him to please wait until he gets home. He says, no, no it’s fine; this will only take a minute. I again plead with him not to do it because it is very unsanitary to have blood on or around my counter. He argues with me the whole time, and when he finishes I make sure he puts his test strip in the garbage himself; I hold the can up for him since it’s behind the counter.

He starts to get angry at me, saying that it’s no big deal and I’m being dramatic. In my head I say, yes, I am being dramatic that a total stranger is pricking himself on the finger, squeezing blood on a test strip, and had to be coerced to even dispose of it properly. After he leaves, still upset, I make sure I grab the disinfectant wipes and clean every part of that counter.

[florida80]

Do Hot Flashes Impair Brain Function?

Bad Behavior, California, Pharmacy, USA | Right | December 15, 2018


(I’m a cashier at a pharmacy. One day I come into work and the line is halfway around the store. Two of my coworkers have called out, and when I clock in, one of the two cashiers there goes on a lunch break. It’s just me and the manager trying to get everyone rung up as quickly as possible. The phone rings, so I answer while still helping my customer.)

Me: “Hello. This is [Pharmacy]. How may I direct your call?”

Caller #1: “Yes, I’m looking for [Medicine]. It’s for hot flashes.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, what kind of medicine is it?”

Caller #1: *getting irritated* “It’s called, ‘[MEDICINE].’ It’s for hot flashes!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I mean, is it some kind of painkiller?”

Caller #1: “It’s called, ‘[MEDICINE]’! It’s for hot flashes!”

Me: *still trying to ring up customers and getting annoyed* “Ma’am, we don’t have a section for menopause. I need to know if it’s a painkiller, or a vitamin, or is it in the cold section — something like that.”

Caller #1: “Okay, listen to me. You know what menopause is, right? You know that women have hot flashes, right? It’s called, ‘[MEDICINE]’! Just look for it—”

(I admit I am annoyed. I’m not about to look all over the floor looking for some medicine I’ve never heard of. I hang up on her and finish ringing up my customer. I think that is the end of that… until a couple of hours later, when another customer calls.)

Caller #2: “I’m looking for [Medicine]; it’s for hot flashes.”

(I ask her the same question.)

Caller #2: “It should be in the same area as the birth control or the feminine products.”

(I tell her I’ll send someone to look for it.)

Caller #2: “Thank you. Actually, my sister called earlier, and she spoke to someone who hung up on her.”

Me: “Would you like to speak to a manager, ma’am?”

(She says yes, so I call my manager to speak to her. Meanwhile, my coworker finds her medicine and brings it to the front. She speaks to the woman to confirm it’s the right one. They speak and she hangs up. My manager asks why she hung up and didn’t transfer the call.)

Coworker: “She said she didn’t really need to speak to him anymore. She just wanted to say sorry for her sister’s behavior.”

[florida80]

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 30

Canada, Ignoring & Inattentive, Pharmacy | Right | December 10, 2018


(There is a pharmacy in the same building as my doctor’s office, but it opens at 8:30 rather than 8:00 as the office does. It has a metal gate across the entrance when closed, just like most stores in a mall do. I come in just after 8:00 and am waiting for my turn when a woman comes out from her appointment with a prescription sheet and starts hovering right in front of the pharmacy gate.)

Woman: *to the employee inside who is obviously trying to set up to open* “Excuse me… Excuse me!”

Employee: “Yes?”

Woman: “Are you open yet?”

Employee: *slight pause* “No. That’s why the gate is closed and the lights are off.”

Woman: “Oh.” *wanders away*

(Everyone else in the waiting room was trying not to laugh. Really, how much more obvious do you need it to be?)

[florida80]

Branded With Kindness

Awesome Workers, Dallas, Georgia, Kind Strangers, Non-Dialogue, Pharmacy, USA | Hopeless | February 8, 2019


I was dropping off some prescriptions at my local 24-hour pharmacy around ten at night. There were only two employees working at the time: a pharmacist and a pharmacy tech. They were obviously extremely busy. When I was asked when I’d like to pick up my prescriptions, I simply said I’d like them as soon as possible. The tech looked genuinely terrified to inform me that there was at least an hour wait time. Of course, I expected as much, so that was no problem at all. I could tell from her demeanor that other people had not been as understanding. I told her that I was planning on going out to eat, so she could take her time and that I hoped that customers would learn to be more understanding.

When I returned to retrieve my medicine, one of them was ringing up at four times the amount I expected. As I have a heart condition that prevents me from working, I knew there was no way I could afford that. I purchased the other medication and decided that I would just call the hospital and ask if they could send a cheaper alternative prescription to the pharmacy. Upon speaking to the pharmacist, I was told that it would be another thirty minutes before he would even be able to check for an alternative. I decided to sit in the waiting area, as I had nothing else to do at the time and I wasn’t in any particular rush.

At that point, it was clear that the young lady’s shift had ended and she had left for the night. The pharmacist was now working by himself. I waited patiently as I watched this man run around and assemble orders, answer phones, type furiously on the computer, check inventory, and deal with customers in both the drive-thru and at the counter. That poor man didn’t have a breath to himself. Eventually, he looked up and noticed I was still there. He called me to the counter and rang up my medicine at a huge discount — much less than I was expecting to pay in the first place. I thanked him profusely and wished him a better night than the one he appeared to be having. It was only when I reached the car that I realized that he hadn’t had time to find a generic alternative and he had given me the name brand medication. He brought it down from 105 dollars to 17. As someone struggling financially, that meant the world to me.

I made sure to call the manager in the morning and tell them how wonderful their employees were. I will definitely be going back there. It might cost a little more than other pharmacies and it might take a little longer, but the customer service cannot be matched.

Moral of the story: a little patience and kindness go a long way.

[florida80]

Allergic To Politeness

Extra Stupid, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, UK | Healthy Right | January 24, 2019


Customer: “I need something for allergies.”

(I show him the selection and he chooses.)

Me: “Are you on any other medication?”

Customer: “None of your business. Give me my tablets.”

Me: “I’m not allowed to sell them to you if there is a chance they could interact with something you are already taking.”

Customer: “Well, f*** you!” *storms off*

Colleague: “You would think he would be wiser after the last time.”

Me: “What happened?”

Colleague: “Our last pharmacist gave in and sold them. He took them while shopping and crashed his car the second he left the car park. He was taking codeine and had a bad reaction.”

Me: “Wow.”

[florida80]

(Customer walks in, says something I can’t here and my boss – who was by the door – gives me an odd look as he walks up to the counter).
Me: Hello sir, what can I get you?
Customer: I need something for schizophrenia.
Me: Oh, okay….
(I really don’t know what to say at that point and he starts looking at the hand sanitizers on the stand by the till).
Customer: Is this really only £2.00?
Me: I’ll check.
(I run it through the till, it is indeed £2.00. He pays for it, puts it in his back and leans forward to read my name badge).
Customer: Thank you (name) it was nice to meet you.
Me: Nice to meet you too Sir. Have a nice day.
(He leaves and my boss walks over to me, where I am collapsed on the floor laughing.)
Boss: When he walked in he said “Welcome to British Airways!”
Me: Oh, well he asked me for something for schizophrenia.
Boss: Oh God.
Me: That’s two in a week. Where are they all coming from?

[florida80]

It All Boils Down To This

Health & Body, Parents, Pharmacy, Singapore | Right | January 12, 2019


(A young mother pushes her baby over in a pram and tells me that her baby took some “warm” water and splashed his face with it the day before. I look at the baby and he seems bubbly and happy. There is barely any sign of redness of his skin and there are no blisters, either.)

Me: “There’s isn’t any redness at all. He seems fine.”

Mother: “There’s a mark here.” *points under his eye*

Me: “Well, it’s not that obvious. You shouldn’t need to do anything about it. It’ll go away on its own.”

Mother: “The water got in his eyes.”

(I look at the baby’s eyes. There is also no redness.)

Me: “He looks fine. He’s not crying, either.”

Mother: “He cried for ten minutes yesterday. Will it leave a scar?”

Me: “No… his skin did not even get damaged. You really don’t have to do anything.”

(The mother looked a bit relieved yet doubtful at the same time but she thanked me anyway. Later she came back and asked if sun protection was needed to prevent scarring. Just to satisfy my curiosity, I asked if she really meant “warm” water or if she meant “hot” water. She told me that it was freshly boiled water with a triumphant expression. Well, either this baby has skin made of steel… or she left the boiled water out longer than she thought and it had cooled down already!)



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[florida80]

Wrong Direction, Right Attitude

Australia, Employees, Hobart, Language & Words, Pharmacy, Silly, Tasmania | Working | January 10, 2019


(We’re short-staffed and it’s been a busy, chaotic morning with customers practically lined up out the door as they wait for their prescriptions. Eventually, we get through the queue and stop to catch our breath in a brief moment while there are no more customers in the shop. We’re all a bit tired when yet another customer enters and looks around, appearing confused. My coworker approaches her and blurts out this gem:)

Coworker: “Can I point you in the wrong direction?”

[florida80]

Kindness Knows No Language Barrier

Awesome Workers, Berlin, Germany, Jerk, Non-Dialogue, Pharmacy | Hopeless Right | January 10, 2019


I’m a customer in a pharmacy in Berlin, behind an older man. I don’t speak German as I’m just a tourist, but he is very obviously driving the cashier crazy, pointing to everything five times and asking the price, wasting her time by debating the price, raising his voice, and flailing his arms about. Even though I can’t understand a word he is saying, his rudeness is clear! The cashier is doing a great job of staying calm, but he is visibly upsetting her.

When he finally leaves — some five minutes later, only having purchased one thing — I approach the register, smile, and roll my eyes. As she serves me, she chats away about the customer — made obvious from the things she points to while talking — and it’s clear from the relief on her face that she just needs to unload on someone who understands. I smile and nod and laugh when she laughs, and say, “Ja,” a couple of times, and she seems much calmer and happy by the end of the transaction.

Dear cashier, even though I didn’t understand a word you said, our conversation was wonderful and friendly; we both speak the universal language of “hating bad customers”!

[florida80]

Time To Throw Them Some Shade

Bosses & Owners, Jerk, Lazy/Unhelpful, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, USA | Working | January 3, 2019


(I have stopped at a chain pharmacy near my home. I need to pick up makeup for my mother. On my last trip, the manager told me he would order the shade I wanted. Today I overhear a new manager explaining to the cashier that the old manager was transferred to try to fix serious problems at another store. The new manager is covering until the old one comes back. The makeup is still not in stock. I select my other items and approach the cashier.)

Cashier: “Did you find everything today?”

Me: “No. [Old Manager] said he was going to try and get some [Brand] makeup in shade 1C. You still don’t have it.”

Cashier: “We have [Brand] makeup.” *wanders over to shelf*

Me: “Yes, but I need shade 1C. You don’t have it.”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Me: “[Old Manager] was going to try and get [Brand] 1C makeup for me. You still don’t have it.”

Manager: “Oh, I saw that order. I canceled it.”

Me: “Why?”

Manager: “Because we have [Brand] makeup in a lot of shades. We don’t need that one, as well.”

Me: “But he was ordering it especially for me. You even have a space on the shelf for it.”

Manager: *grabs a much darker shade* “We have 4C.”

Me: “Yes, and I’m sure that’s helpful for someone who needs 4C. I need 1C.”

Manager: “So, you don’t want this?”

Me: “No. Can you replace the order for the 1C?”

Manager: “No, I’m not going to stock that. We have plenty of other shades.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll get it at [Competitor], as well as everything else I need.” *turns to leave*

Cashier: “So, you don’t want this?” *points to items I left on the counter*

Me: “No, not anymore.”

Manager: “It’s racial, isn’t it?”

(I stared at him for a second. He’s the same race I am, but [Old Manager] is a minority in my area. I decided it wasn’t worth the effort, so I just walked out without answering. I’m really hoping [Old Manager] comes back soon.)

[florida80]

The Refunder Blunder Was Hers

At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Pharmacy, Retail, USA |
Right | January 2, 2019

(I’m working in a pharmacy, and we are absolutely slammed and understaffed. There is a register up front for people to check out with items if they aren’t picking up a prescription, and it’s a common courtesy to do so, rather than bother a busy technician. A customer approaches the counter with a full cart of items. I tell her I will be with her momentarily and finish counting the prescription. She huffs and sighs audibly while I finish. I approach the counter and smile.)

Me: “Are you picking up a prescription today?”

Customer: *rolling her eyes* “No, I’m not. I just finished shopping and waited a very long time for a lazy employee to finally check me out.”

(It took me all of about thirty seconds to get to her.)

Me: “I’m sorry about your wait, ma’am.”

Customer: “Good. Now check me out.”

(She unloads her entire cart, and it takes about ten minutes to ring everything out. During this time, a sizable line forms behind her. I only have one coworker in the pharmacy, and she is running back and forth helping customers in the drive-thru and drop-off areas, so production has completely stopped.)

Me: “Do you have a rewards card? I can take a phone number, as well.”

Customer: “No, I don’t feel like digging it out. Just finish the transaction.”

Me: “Are you sure? You won’t get the sale prices without it.”

Customer: “DON’T QUESTION ME! JUST FINISH THE TRANSACTION!”

(She mutters something about incompetent employees while I finish her transaction, which comes to over $300. She pays in cash.)

Me: “Thank you. Have a nice night!”

(She takes a minute to look over her receipt, and comes to the conclusion that she’s been cheated.)

Customer: “Why didn’t I get the sale prices?”

Me: “You refused to let me scan your reward card, remember? I told you that you wouldn’t get the sale prices without it.”

Customer: “But I have one! You should have just given me a discount!”

Me: “Ma’am, unfortunately, we have to actually scan it or type in a phone number in order to give you the sale prices.”

Customer: “Well, then, redo it.”

Me: *astonished* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Redo the transaction. RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Ma’am, I would have to refund the entire transaction and re-ring each and every item in order to do that.”

Customer: “Fine. You should have done it correctly to begin with.”

Me: *defeated* “Will you at least step to the back of the line? There are people here who are sick and need their medications.”

Customer: “NO! HOW DARE YOU? I DEMAND THAT YOU TAKE CARE OF ME, NOW!”

(I begin the long process of refunding her, item by item, and re-ringing the transaction. We’ve now been at this register for so long that many customers have given up and left.)

Me: “The total comes to $290. You saved $10 today.”

Customer: “See, now, that wasn’t so difficult, was it? Next time, do it right.”

(She leaves, smirking at the other customers in line as she goes.)

Customer #2: “What in the blue f*** was her problem?”

[florida80]

This Guy Should Shut His Mouth About Yours

Health & Body, Jerk, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, USA | Right | December 6, 2018


(I’ve just had to have minor surgery on my tongue and the roof of my mouth. My mouth is packed with gauze. We have to stop at the pharmacy to pick up antibiotics before heading home. My mom does some other shopping, but I sit in the waiting area. I’m miserable and still reeling from the drugs, and I’m texting friends. An older man comes and sits across from me in silence for a half hour. Then, suddenly, he rages out at me.)

Customer: “You know, back in my day, we would talk and not just sit with your phone in front of your face. Ignoring people! We used to dress to go shopping, too, not just pajamas in public!”

(He continues on, raging that I’m wearing PJs and that I’m on my phone. I ignore him. When my mom comes back around, he rages at her, too.)

Customer: “You need to teach your child some manners! She hasn’t even said hello, just sat there on her d*** phone!”

(Finally, I just turn and open my mouth, full of bloody gauze, and muffle out a hello. He looks horrified and backs away from me.)

Pharmacist: “Just ignore him. He comes around and never buys anything, just harasses our customers.”

[florida80]

Ignorance Has No Expiry Date

Bad Behavior, Money, Pharmacy, Tennessee, USA | Right | December 4, 2018


Customer: “Excuse me, I see in your ad that you have this sale. I was wondering if I could use this coupon that expired only almost a week ago. Will that be all right?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but [Store] can no longer take any coupons past expiration date.”

Customer: “Oh? Well, that isn’t right. Are you sure?” *she then props herself against the counter and says this* “You know, I also work at [Store, but different location] and [Their Manager and Employees] took them all the time, and I know for a fact that you guys do so here also. Who is the boss tonight? Let me speak to them and I’ll show you.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

(I find the store manager, tell him the situation, and he comes up after finishing helping another customer. When he walks up, she gives him a grand greeting and explains to him the situation. Though I had to help another customer and did not get to stay for the conversation, I did get to see her leaving the store saying:)

Customer: “Oh, well, I guess I’ll just have to try somewhere else that actually tries to make customers happy!”

(I ask my manager what he did.)

Store Manager: “I know her from another store location, but it’s good you stood by our policies. When I mentioned to her about which stores are on the naughty list for accepting bad coupons and giving unnecessary store credit, of which her store was in second place, I asked her how she was dealing with that. She said never mind, and left! If we allowed it, who knows how many more customers would have come expecting this if they heard they could pull that stuff here!”

(Moral of the story: you are not there to sacrifice values and bend rules to give someone an ego boost or sense of entitlement. Stick to what you know, and keep the truth because anything can happen in retail.)

[florida80]

Behaving Poorly

Criminal & Illegal, Health & Body, Pharmacy, UK | Legal | November 28, 2018


(I am full of a chest cold and have struggled to the pharmacy to stock up on decongestants, so I can go back to bed for as long as possible. My spouse has texted to ask me to pick up extra, as he’s starting with the same cold. As I look through the shelf of cold and flu medication, I notice that everything contains either paracetamol — acetaminophen — or ibuprofen. There are laws limiting the sale of those medications in the UK, which have significantly reduced intentional and accidental overdoses.)

Me: *pointing at shelf* “Excuse me. How many packets am I allowed to buy?”

Assistant: “Only two, I’m afraid.”

Me: “Oh, bother. For two of us poorly, that’s only two days’ worth. Never mind. I’ll just have to come back again.”

Assistant: “Well, unless you have a consultation with the pharmacist…”

(Fortunately, the pharmacist agrees to authorise sale of two packets each for me and my spouse, and after thanking her, I pay.)

Assistant: “People are so rude about the limit, though. You should hear what they’re like when we have to say no.”

Me: “What? But they do know it’s actually the law and not just [Pharmacy] policy?”

Assistant: “Yes. One man shouted at me for several minutes because I wouldn’t sell him ten packets of paracetamol in one go. Then he said, ‘I’m just going to come back in fifteen minutes to buy more and you won’t remember me.’”

Me: “I’m not sure that’s how that works.”

Assistant: “Yeah, he was pretty memorable by that point.”

Me: “And instead he could just have gone to [Shop twenty metres away] and [Shop fifty metres

[florida80]

Medication To Cure Delusions Of Self-Importance

Australia, Crazy Requests, Jerk, Melbourne, Pharmacy, Victoria | Right | November 28, 2018


(The phone rings.)

Me: “Good morning, [Pharmacy]. This is [My Name] speaking.”

Customer: “I need to speak to the pharmacist.”

Me: “Sorry, the pharmacist is consulting at the moment. Maybe I can help you?”

Customer: “No. It’s super urgent. Only the pharmacist can answer this question.”

(Luckily, the pharmacist has just finished consulting.)

Me: “Oh! The pharmacist has just finished consulting. I will put you on.”

Pharmacist: “Hello? [Pharmacist] speaking.”

Customer: “What time do you guys close?”

[florida80]

Mass Decapitations Means It’s Christmas!

Bad Behavior, Oregon, Pharmacy, Portland, USA | Right | November 27, 2018


(I get a call from a lady who is very upset about some photos she sent to be printed.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. My name is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Caller: “You ruined my Christmas! All of the photos I just ordered today have the heads cut off! I can’t use these as Christmas cards! I want a refund or a reprint!”

Me: “No problem. Let me look up your order real quick.” *looks up order* “I’m sorry, miss, but it seems you ordered these through our app or online. Unfortunately, if you want these to be cropped the way you want them, I’m going to need you to come into the store; we would be happy to redo them for free.”

Caller: “This is ridiculous! I don’t have time for this! I can’t believe you guys can’t do your f****** job!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but if that’s not something you would like, I’m sure my manager would be okay with us giving you a refund.”

Caller: “I don’t have time to come back to that store! I can’t believe you won’t remake them! This is ridiculous!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’d be happy to help you remake them or give you a refund. But for either one you have to be at our store.”

(After another five minutes of her screaming at me, I get my manager to talk to her.)

Manager: “Thank you for holding. How may I help you?”

(The lady is screaming through the phone the same things she has told me already.)

Manager: “I’m so sorry that this happened. I would be willing to help you remake them or give you a full refund if you come back in.”

(The lady on the phone is now screaming so loud I can hear from next to my manager.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but unfortunately, unless you’re present in our store, I can’t give you a refund or remake your photos.”

(This continues for a good ten minutes.)

Manager: “Ma’am, what would you like us to do for you?”

(The lady is still screaming something about how we can’t do our jobs correctly.)

Manager: “Ma’am, what would you like us to do for you? I’ve given you your two choices; if you’re not satisfied with that then I can give you our 1-800 number.”

(The lady continues to scream at her for not being helpful.)

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but if you’re going to continue to scream at me then I’m going to have to hang up. I’ve given you your two choices in what we can do for you. If you’re not satisfied, then you can call our 1-800 number and leave a complaint.”

(The lady continues to scream at her.)

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but that’s all I can do. I’m going to hang up now.”

(The lady continues to scream.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m going to hang up now. We hope to see you in soon. Have a good day.”

(The manager hangs up phone.)

Me: “Wow… she was not happy.”

Manager: “She said she was driving on her way to our store, anyway. Guess it wasn’t too much of an issue for her to come over. I’m just glad I don’t have to talk to her anymore

[florida80]

Proving He Is The Biggest P***k

Harassment, Michigan, Pharmacy, Rude & Risque, USA |
Right | November 26, 2018

I am a cashier at a pharmacy chain. A man comes in to the store and immediately asks where to find condoms. It is company policy to walk each customer to the product they are looking for if at all possible. Being a good employee, I walk the man to the “Family Planning” aisle, and show him where to find the condoms.

Rather than leaving our encounter to a minimum, he decides to ask me which condoms I like. Not only am I a woman, but I’m very uncomfortable discussing sex with anyone, especially strangers.

After explaining that I have no preference, and that it’s all up to him, he asks, “Which are the biggest ones? I need the biggest, because I am the biggest.” I am mortified.

I leave him in the aisle by himself, and he chooses a brand for purchase. No more than two minutes after ringing him out, he comes back in to the store, with the package opened, and one condom missing. He slaps the package on the counter and yells, “They’re too tight! I’m returning these, and I need your number… You single?”

I have my manager run the return as I go to the stock room to hide.

[florida80]

Will Never Look Back Again

Health & Body, Language & Words, Montana, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 20, 2018


(I work on the retail side of a pharmacy, usually stocking shelves or helping customers. One day a young lady, maybe 19 or 20, approaches me, clearly embarrassed.)

Customer: *whispering* “Do you have, um, like, douches, but, um, for, like, the…” *I can now barely hear her* “…butt?”

Me: *stifling laughter* “Enema. The word you’re looking for is ‘enema,’ and yes, over this way.”

(I will forever call them “butt douches” from now on.)

[florida80]

This Story Has Some Darker Connotations

British Columbia, Canada, Language & Words, Pharmacy, Vancouver | Right | November 19, 2018


(I’m the customer in this story. I am Caucasian, of Irish and Scottish descent, and have extremely pale skin.)

Me: “Hi. Do you have melanin?”

Pharmacy Worker: “Sorry?”

Me: “Melanin, do you guys carry it?”

Pharmacy Worker: “No, I don’t think so.”

Me: “Drat, are you sure? My doctor told me I should get some before I went on my trip.”

Pharmacy Worker: “I don’t think it works like that.”

Me: “With respect, I’m going to listen to my doctor about how to treat my jet lag.”

Pharmacy Worker: “Jet lag? OH! You mean melatonin!“

Me: “Yes! Wait, did I say, ‘melanin’? Oh, my God, oops.”

(Melatonin is a sleep-related hormone you can buy over the counter in Canada; melanin is the compound that darkens your skin when you tan. I may be a bit short on melanin, but I wasn’t expecting to buy it at the pharmacy!)

[florida80]

Exploring The Amazon Gets You Nowhere

At The Checkout, California, Extra Stupid, Ignoring & Inattentive, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 15, 2018


(It’s about twenty minutes before closing and there’s one customer left in the store. This particular customer always comes in about two hours before closing every night and wanders the store until closing. He only ever buys two or three small items. He comes up to my register.)

Me: *after ringing in his items* “Your total is [total]. How would you like to pay?”

Customer: “I have a gift card.”

(We accept gift cards so I see no problem, until the customer hands me the card.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but this is an Amazon gift card. You can only use it on Amazon.”

Customer: “No. I can use it here, too. You guys accept gift cards.”

Me: “We do accept certain gift cards, but you can’t use this one here.”

Customer: “Just scan it; you’ll see that it works!”

Me: “Sir, there is no barcode or magnetic strip on this card. There’s only a number on the back that you can type in on the Amazon website. You can’t use this here. Do you have another form of payment?”

Customer: *getting irritated* “I don’t know why you won’t just use it! I’ve used it here before!”

Me: “Sir, we don’t accept these. I need another form of payment.”

Customer: “Just use this card!”

(This goes back and forth for several minutes.)

Customer: “Where in here does it say I can’t use gift cards?!”

Me: “Right here on the back of the card.” *reads where the card says it can only be used on Amazon*

Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?!”

(He grabbed his items and slammed it back down on the shelf and stormed out. By then it was twenty minutes past closing.)

[florida80]

The Bathroom Is Not The Only Thing Getting A Deep Clean

Great Stuff, Ignoring & Inattentive, North Carolina, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 15, 2018


(I work at a very busy pharmacy. One evening, our men’s restroom takes a turn for the worst and I have the privilege of setting it straight. I post a sign on the door that says, “CLOSED FOR CLEANING,” in red marker, and gather my supplies. A few minutes into the job, the door opens, and a man sticks his head in and asks:)

Man: “Is the bathroom closed?”

(It has been a really long day, with a lot of stupid questions, and I just can’t help myself.)

Me: *snapping a blue glove onto my hand* “Nope, we are giving out free prostate exams. I don’t have any lube, but I do have bleach. Step on in so we can get this over with.”

(He no longer needed the restroom.)

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #124979

Pharmacy, Providence, Rhode Island, USA | Unfiltered | November 11, 2018


(I take my nine-year-old daughter to the pharmacy because she has some pocket money to spend and wants to pick up a few treats. I enter my phone number to pull up my card number so my daughter would get any sale prices, but otherwise I am not involved in the transaction. I stand back as my daughter puts her items on the counter.)

Cashier: *looking up at me* “Would you like to donate a dollar to [charity] today?”

Me: *pointing back at my daughter* “She’s the one buying, not me.”

Cashier: *to daughter this time* “Would you like to donate a dollar to [charity] today?”

Daughter: “Sure, I’ll donate a dollar! I have the extra money, and it is for charity!”

(The cashier and her manager were shocked, but impressed, and quickly thanked my daughter!)

[florida80]

Renovate Or Stagnate

Jerk, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 10, 2018


(I work as a cashier in a popular pharmacy. Recently our store has been doing some renovations. Nothing too big, just moving some shelves around and moving all the registers to one side of the store. One night I come into work and have this conversation with a customer.)

Customer: “You guys are going to be closed within six months.”

Me: *confused* “What do you mean, sir?”

Customer: “You moved everything around. How are we supposed to find anything?! You moved the toilet paper next to the freezers! Now what sense does that make?! You be closed within a year, mark my words.”

Me: *slightly shocked but still smiling and courteous* “Well, I hope not, sir.”

Customer: “You will. YOU WILL!”

Me: “Can I get your store card, sir?”

Customer: “…”

(I ring him up and things go smoothly until I hand him the receipt.)

Me: “Okay, here’s your receipt, sir.”

Customer: “I’ve been shopping here for seven f****** years, and you go and change things like this!”

Me: “Well, thank you for shopping with us today, sir.”

Customer: *glares and walks out*

[florida80]

Their Knowledge Is A Bit Patchy

Australia, Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Hobart, Pharmacy, Tasmania | Right | November 7, 2018


(I am selling a customer nicotine patches to help them quit smoking.)

Customer: “So, can I still smoke when I’m wearing the patches? Someone said I can.”

Me: *head-desks internally

[florida80]

Not Buying It? Yeah, I’m Not Buying That

Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Children, Connecticut, Funny Kids, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 6, 2018


(I am a pharmacy technician. At the pharmacy where I work, we have those special shopping carts for small children, shaped like cars. I’m helping a family — a mom, teenage daughter, and a preschool girl, roughly four or five — with one such cart. They have a few items to ring out besides their prescriptions. I notice the little girl is holding something in her hands. Thinking it’s a toy her mom promised to buy her, I point it out to her sister.)

Me: *pointing at the girl* “Are you buying that, as well?”

Sister: “Buying… Oh, where did you get that?! May I see that? Thank you. We’re just going to put that over here.” *puts it on the counter, clearly not buying it*

(It was a bottle of shampoo, by the way. On closer inspection, the sister pulled out — I kid you not — over twenty more bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and other hair care products. The little girl must’ve grabbed everything when they drove through the beauty section. The sister was apologetic and everything, just glad I said something, as some of the stuff was really pricey, and everything in her car easily came out to over $100. The kid’s going to have really expensive tastes when she grows up!)

[florida80]

Knows How To Push Your Buttons By Not Knowing How To Push Buttons

Connecticut, Extra Stupid, Ignoring & Inattentive, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 4, 2018


(We keep certain cold medicines in a locked case due to high theft and due to teenagers using them to get high. There’s a button right next to said case, clearly labeled, to press for assistance. Pressing the button sends out a message over the PA system for a front store associate to come unlock the case and bring the items to the till. It’s a Sunday morning when this happens.)

Customer #1: “Hi, your medicine case is locked; can you come unlock it for me?”

Me: “We don’t have the keys to unlock it. You just press the button and someone will come get it.”

Customer #1: “Where? I can’t find it!”

(I start to walk out of the pharmacy to show her, when she finds it and hits the button. About ten minutes later, another customer walks up.)

Customer #2: “Hey, can you guys unlock the case?”

Me: “No, but there’s a button you can press and someone with the keys can unlock it.”

(Not even five minutes later, the button sounds.)

Me: “It’s not even nine yet.”

[florida80]

Possibly Hoping For Telepathic Texts

Boston, Extra Stupid, Massachusetts, Pharmacy, Technology, USA | Right | October 29, 2018


(I work as a pharmacy technician at one a major pharmacy chains. Recently, store management has been pushing for the pharmacy employees to try and get customers to sign up for text message alerts when their prescription is ready for pick up.)

Me: *having gone through most of the transaction* “Do you get cell phone text alerts when your scripts are ready?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Would you like to?”

Customer: “Sure!”

Me: “All right, what cell number should we have in our system for us to text to?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t have a cell phone.”

Me: “Then… you can’t receive text messages.”

(Sadly, this exchange has happened at least five times!)

[florida80]

Is There A Prescription For Stupidity?

Connecticut, Health & Body, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy Right | October 29, 2018


(I’m a pharmacy tech at a chain pharmacy. I’m working the drive-thru. A truck pulls up blaring loud metal music, and the driver is smoking. He does not turn down the music like most people do when at the window, and I’m having a hard time hearing him.)

Customer: “I’m trying to get one prescription. I need the [Brand Antibiotic], but NOT the–” *indecipherable due to the music*

Me: “I’m sorry, which one do you want?”

Customer: *a little louder* “The [Brand Antibiotic].”

(I take down his information into the computer. I have to re-ask several times because of the music, which he still hasn’t turned down. He’s also still smoking, and flicking ash out of the window, ON MY SIDE.)

Me: “There’s only one prescription here.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: *louder* There’s only one prescription.”

Customer: “Is it the [Brand Antibiotic]?”

Me: *still loud* “I will check with the pharmacist.”

(I grab the script, which is NOT an antibiotic. I’ve shut the window to keep the smoke from getting in; the music is loud enough to be heard on the other end of the pharmacy. The pharmacist confirms this is not an antibiotic, but is a specially requested one he’d been calling to transfer over from a different pharmacy.)

Me: “Sir, this is the only one we have.”

(I show him the prescription, so he can see what it is.)

Customer: “Ok, I’ll take it.”

(I finish up the transaction; he pays and drives away. About ten minutes later, he’s back in my lane, blaring the same loud music.)

Customer: “This isn’t the one I requested. I specifically told you NOT to give me this prescription. Where’s the one that the doctor transferred over?”

Me: “This is the only one that was called in.”

Customer: “I’m not taking this prescription anymore. Why was this called in? I want to speak to the manager.”

(The manager is busy. He’s been listening to the customer and is fed up with him. I use this time to double check his profile. There’s still no record of an antibiotic being called in before, during, or after the transaction.)

Me: “Sir, nothing else has been called in.”

Customer: “I don’t want this one. I told you I didn’t want this one.”

(I apologize at least twice, and return his medication, and he drives away, with my ears ringing.)

Manager: “So what happened with [Customer]?”

(I explained the ordeal, and he was obviously annoyed at the customer’s behavior. Less than a half hour later, we received a call from an associate of the customer. The pharmacist, who had had enough of the guy, took the call personally and explained what happened. Still not sure if the guy has gotten the antibiotic yet…)



Have a Great Weekend!!! Enjoy my Stories............. :thankyou:

[florida80]

Kindness Knows No Language Barrier

Awesome Workers, Berlin, Germany, Jerk, Non-Dialogue, Pharmacy | Hopeless Right | January 10, 2019


I’m a customer in a pharmacy in Berlin, behind an older man. I don’t speak German as I’m just a tourist, but he is very obviously driving the cashier crazy, pointing to everything five times and asking the price, wasting her time by debating the price, raising his voice, and flailing his arms about. Even though I can’t understand a word he is saying, his rudeness is clear! The cashier is doing a great job of staying calm, but he is visibly upsetting her.

When he finally leaves — some five minutes later, only having purchased one thing — I approach the register, smile, and roll my eyes. As she serves me, she chats away about the customer — made obvious from the things she points to while talking — and it’s clear from the relief on her face that she

[florida80]

Time To Throw Them Some Shade

Bosses & Owners, Jerk, Lazy/Unhelpful, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, USA | Working | January 3, 2019


(I have stopped at a chain pharmacy near my home. I need to pick up makeup for my mother. On my last trip, the manager told me he would order the shade I wanted. Today I overhear a new manager explaining to the cashier that the old manager was transferred to try to fix serious problems at another store. The new manager is covering until the old one comes back. The makeup is still not in stock. I select my other items and approach the cashier.)

Cashier: “Did you find everything today?”

Me: “No. [Old Manager] said he was going to try and get some [Brand] makeup in shade 1C. You still don’t have it.”

Cashier: “We have [Brand] makeup.” *wanders over to shelf*

Me: “Yes, but I need shade 1C. You don’t have it.”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Me: “[Old Manager] was going to try and get [Brand] 1C makeup for me. You still don’t have it.”

Manager: “Oh, I saw that order. I canceled it.”

Me: “Why?”

Manager: “Because we have [Brand] makeup in a lot of shades. We don’t need that one, as well.”

Me: “But he was ordering it especially for me. You even have a space on the shelf for it.”

Manager: *grabs a much darker shade* “We have 4C.”

Me: “Yes, and I’m sure that’s helpful for someone who needs 4C. I need 1C.”

Manager: “So, you don’t want this?”

Me: “No. Can you replace the order for the 1C?”

Manager: “No, I’m not going to stock that. We have plenty of other shades.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll get it at [Competitor], as well as everything else I need.” *turns to leave*

Cashier: “So, you don’t want this?” *points to items I left on the counter*

Me: “No, not anymore.”

Manager: “It’s racial, isn’t it?”

(I stared at him for a second. He’s the same race I am, but [Old Manager] is a minority in my area. I decided it wasn’t worth the effort, so I just walked out without answering. I’m really hoping [Old Manager] comes back soon.)

[florida80]

The Refunder Blunder Was Hers

At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Pharmacy, Retail, USA |
Right | January 2, 2019

(I’m working in a pharmacy, and we are absolutely slammed and understaffed. There is a register up front for people to check out with items if they aren’t picking up a prescription, and it’s a common courtesy to do so, rather than bother a busy technician. A customer approaches the counter with a full cart of items. I tell her I will be with her momentarily and finish counting the prescription. She huffs and sighs audibly while I finish. I approach the counter and smile.)

Me: “Are you picking up a prescription today?”

Customer: *rolling her eyes* “No, I’m not. I just finished shopping and waited a very long time for a lazy employee to finally check me out.”

(It took me all of about thirty seconds to get to her.)

Me: “I’m sorry about your wait, ma’am.”

Customer: “Good. Now check me out.”

(She unloads her entire cart, and it takes about ten minutes to ring everything out. During this time, a sizable line forms behind her. I only have one coworker in the pharmacy, and she is running back and forth helping customers in the drive-thru and drop-off areas, so production has completely stopped.)

Me: “Do you have a rewards card? I can take a phone number, as well.”

Customer: “No, I don’t feel like digging it out. Just finish the transaction.”

Me: “Are you sure? You won’t get the sale prices without it.”

Customer: “DON’T QUESTION ME! JUST FINISH THE TRANSACTION!”

(She mutters something about incompetent employees while I finish her transaction, which comes to over $300. She pays in cash.)

Me: “Thank you. Have a nice night!”

(She takes a minute to look over her receipt, and comes to the conclusion that she’s been cheated.)

Customer: “Why didn’t I get the sale prices?”

Me: “You refused to let me scan your reward card, remember? I told you that you wouldn’t get the sale prices without it.”

Customer: “But I have one! You should have just given me a discount!”

Me: “Ma’am, unfortunately, we have to actually scan it or type in a phone number in order to give you the sale prices.”

Customer: “Well, then, redo it.”

Me: *astonished* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Redo the transaction. RIGHT NOW!”

Me: “Ma’am, I would have to refund the entire transaction and re-ring each and every item in order to do that.”

Customer: “Fine. You should have done it correctly to begin with.”

Me: *defeated* “Will you at least step to the back of the line? There are people here who are sick and need their medications.”

Customer: “NO! HOW DARE YOU? I DEMAND THAT YOU TAKE CARE OF ME, NOW!”

(I begin the long process of refunding her, item by item, and re-ringing the transaction. We’ve now been at this register for so long that many customers have given up and left.)

Me: “The total comes to $290. You saved $10 today.”

Customer: “See, now, that wasn’t so difficult, was it? Next time, do it right.”

(She leaves, smirking at the other customers in line as she goes.)

Customer #2: “What in the blue f*** was her problem?”

[florida80]

You Got Blood On Your Hands

Connecticut, Health & Body, Ignoring & Inattentive, Non-Dialogue, Pharmacy, Retail, Revolting, USA | Right | December 21, 2018


I am a cashier at a pharmacy, and we get a lot of unsavory characters. An older man walks in and comes to my counter to complain about a battery he bought for his blood sugar tester. Since it’s a new battery, I can only conclude that the plastic is still on. Lo and behold, I open it up and the plastic is still on.

He thanks me profusely and I wish him a good day, thinking that he is satisfied and will be on his way. He puts a test strip in the machine and takes his blood sugar at the counter. I ask him to please wait until he gets home. He says, no, no it’s fine; this will only take a minute. I again plead with him not to do it because it is very unsanitary to have blood on or around my counter. He argues with me the whole time, and when he finishes I make sure he puts his test strip in the garbage himself; I hold the can up for him since it’s behind the counter.

He starts to get angry at me, saying that it’s no big deal and I’m being dramatic. In my head I say, yes, I am being dramatic that a total stranger is pricking himself on the finger, squeezing blood on a test strip, and had to be coerced to even dispose of it properly. After he leaves, still upset, I make sure I grab the disinfectant wipes and clean every part of that counter.

[florida80]

Do Hot Flashes Impair Brain Function?

Bad Behavior, California, Pharmacy, USA | Right | December 15, 2018


(I’m a cashier at a pharmacy. One day I come into work and the line is halfway around the store. Two of my coworkers have called out, and when I clock in, one of the two cashiers there goes on a lunch break. It’s just me and the manager trying to get everyone rung up as quickly as possible. The phone rings, so I answer while still helping my customer.)

Me: “Hello. This is [Pharmacy]. How may I direct your call?”

Caller #1: “Yes, I’m looking for [Medicine]. It’s for hot flashes.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, what kind of medicine is it?”

Caller #1: *getting irritated* “It’s called, ‘[MEDICINE].’ It’s for hot flashes!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I mean, is it some kind of painkiller?”

Caller #1: “It’s called, ‘[MEDICINE]’! It’s for hot flashes!”

Me: *still trying to ring up customers and getting annoyed* “Ma’am, we don’t have a section for menopause. I need to know if it’s a painkiller, or a vitamin, or is it in the cold section — something like that.”

Caller #1: “Okay, listen to me. You know what menopause is, right? You know that women have hot flashes, right? It’s called, ‘[MEDICINE]’! Just look for it—”

(I admit I am annoyed. I’m not about to look all over the floor looking for some medicine I’ve never heard of. I hang up on her and finish ringing up my customer. I think that is the end of that… until a couple of hours later, when another customer calls.)

Caller #2: “I’m looking for [Medicine]; it’s for hot flashes.”

(I ask her the same question.)

Caller #2: “It should be in the same area as the birth control or the feminine products.”

(I tell her I’ll send someone to look for it.)

Caller #2: “Thank you. Actually, my sister called earlier, and she spoke to someone who hung up on her.”

Me: “Would you like to speak to a manager, ma’am?”

(She says yes, so I call my manager to speak to her. Meanwhile, my coworker finds her medicine and brings it to the front. She speaks to the woman to confirm it’s the right one. They speak and she hangs up. My manager asks why she hung up and didn’t transfer the call.)

Coworker: “She said she didn’t really need to speak to him anymore. She just wanted to say sorry for her sister’s behavior.”

[florida80]

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 30

Canada, Ignoring & Inattentive, Pharmacy | Right | December 10, 2018


(There is a pharmacy in the same building as my doctor’s office, but it opens at 8:30 rather than 8:00 as the office does. It has a metal gate across the entrance when closed, just like most stores in a mall do. I come in just after 8:00 and am waiting for my turn when a woman comes out from her appointment with a prescription sheet and starts hovering right in front of the pharmacy gate.)

Woman: *to the employee inside who is obviously trying to set up to open* “Excuse me… Excuse me!”

Employee: “Yes?”

Woman: “Are you open yet?”

Employee: *slight pause* “No. That’s why the gate is closed and the lights are off.”

Woman: “Oh.” *wanders away*

(Everyone else in the waiting room was trying not to laugh. Really, how much more obvious do you need it to be?)

[florida80]

Giving Them A Hard Pill To Swallow

Bad Behavior, Houston, Pharmacy, Texas, USA | Right | December 8, 2018


(I work at a retail pharmacy. I get a call from a patient.)

Customer: “I just came by the drive-thru, and you f****** idiots screwed up my prescription. This is completely wrong!“

(I apologize profusely and confirm the medication she was supposed to pick up.)

Me: “You certainly did pick up the correct medication for yourself. What exactly was wrong with it?”

Customer: “Last time I got ninety pills, and this time I only got thirty! What kind of business are you running here?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, that is a bit peculiar. Let me see why that was done.”

(I look up her prescription, which is a quantity of thirty with three refills.)

Me: “I see your doctor only prescribed a total of a hundred and twenty pills. On your preferences, you request ninety-day supplies. We did indeed fill it for ninety days previously, meaning only thirty were remaining on your prescription, which is what you received today. After this, you will need a new prescription from your doctor in order to get a ninety-day supply. I’m sorry for the confusion.”

Customer: “No f****** way. You guys f****** shorted me. I’m going over soon, and you guys had better give me my d*** pills. I know you offer that service, since y’all are f****** useless.”

Me: “Ma’am, we did not short you. You were meant to get thirty pills. You don’t have enough pills on your prescription to fill for ninety. I can send a refill request fax to your doctor, and perhaps she can approve for more. If it’s within seven days, we can reimburse you and get you ninety days when it’s approved.”

Customer: *scoffs* “Seriously?! What the f*** am I supposed to do without my medication?! I need this stuff to live. Just give me my f****** pills.”

(I am going around in circles, so I cut her off.)

Me: “No. I’m sorry, I cannot invent a new prescription and give you pills you do not have. You have no refills. Zero. You have thirty days’ worth you just picked up, and thirty entire days to get more. I can get you my pharmacy manager if you want a second opinion.”

(I put her on hold before she could protest or swear at me anymore, and the pharmacist who had been listening to her in disbelief picked up the call. The customer hung up, and we thankfully haven’t heard from her since.)

[florida80]

This Guy Should Shut His Mouth About Yours

Health & Body, Jerk, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, USA | Right | December 6, 2018


(I’ve just had to have minor surgery on my tongue and the roof of my mouth. My mouth is packed with gauze. We have to stop at the pharmacy to pick up antibiotics before heading home. My mom does some other shopping, but I sit in the waiting area. I’m miserable and still reeling from the drugs, and I’m texting friends. An older man comes and sits across from me in silence for a half hour. Then, suddenly, he rages out at me.)

Customer: “You know, back in my day, we would talk and not just sit with your phone in front of your face. Ignoring people! We used to dress to go shopping, too, not just pajamas in public!”

(He continues on, raging that I’m wearing PJs and that I’m on my phone. I ignore him. When my mom comes back around, he rages at her, too.)

Customer: “You need to teach your child some manners! She hasn’t even said hello, just sat there on her d*** phone!”

(Finally, I just turn and open my mouth, full of bloody gauze, and muffle out a hello. He looks horrified and backs away from me.)

Pharmacist: “Just ignore him. He comes around and never buys anything, just harasses our customers.”

[florida80]

Ignorance Has No Expiry Date

Bad Behavior, Money, Pharmacy, Tennessee, USA | Right | December 4, 2018


Customer: “Excuse me, I see in your ad that you have this sale. I was wondering if I could use this coupon that expired only almost a week ago. Will that be all right?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but [Store] can no longer take any coupons past expiration date.”

Customer: “Oh? Well, that isn’t right. Are you sure?” *she then props herself against the counter and says this* “You know, I also work at [Store, but different location] and [Their Manager and Employees] took them all the time, and I know for a fact that you guys do so here also. Who is the boss tonight? Let me speak to them and I’ll show you.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

(I find the store manager, tell him the situation, and he comes up after finishing helping another customer. When he walks up, she gives him a grand greeting and explains to him the situation. Though I had to help another customer and did not get to stay for the conversation, I did get to see her leaving the store saying:)

Customer: “Oh, well, I guess I’ll just have to try somewhere else that actually tries to make customers happy!”

(I ask my manager what he did.)

Store Manager: “I know her from another store location, but it’s good you stood by our policies. When I mentioned to her about which stores are on the naughty list for accepting bad coupons and giving unnecessary store credit, of which her store was in second place, I asked her how she was dealing with that. She said never mind, and left! If we allowed it, who knows how many more customers would have come expecting this if they heard they could pull that stuff here!”

(Moral of the story: you are not there to sacrifice values and bend rules to give someone an ego boost or sense of entitlement. Stick to what you know, and keep the truth because anything can happen in retail.)

[florida80]

Behaving Poorly

Criminal & Illegal, Health & Body, Pharmacy, UK | Legal | November 28, 2018


(I am full of a chest cold and have struggled to the pharmacy to stock up on decongestants, so I can go back to bed for as long as possible. My spouse has texted to ask me to pick up extra, as he’s starting with the same cold. As I look through the shelf of cold and flu medication, I notice that everything contains either paracetamol — acetaminophen — or ibuprofen. There are laws limiting the sale of those medications in the UK, which have significantly reduced intentional and accidental overdoses.)

Me: *pointing at shelf* “Excuse me. How many packets am I allowed to buy?”

Assistant: “Only two, I’m afraid.”

Me: “Oh, bother. For two of us poorly, that’s only two days’ worth. Never mind. I’ll just have to come back again.”

Assistant: “Well, unless you have a consultation with the pharmacist…”

(Fortunately, the pharmacist agrees to authorise sale of two packets each for me and my spouse, and after thanking her, I pay.)

Assistant: “People are so rude about the limit, though. You should hear what they’re like when we have to say no.”

Me: “What? But they do know it’s actually the law and not just [Pharmacy] policy?”

Assistant: “Yes. One man shouted at me for several minutes because I wouldn’t sell him ten packets of paracetamol in one go. Then he said, ‘I’m just going to come back in fifteen minutes to buy more and you won’t remember me.’”

Me: “I’m not sure that’s how that works.”

Assistant: “Yeah, he was pretty memorable by that point.”

Me: “And instead he could just have gone to [Shop twenty metres away] and [Shop fifty metres away], which both sell that kind of medicine.”

Assistant: “Exactly!”

[florida80]

Medication To Cure Delusions Of Self-Importance

Australia, Crazy Requests, Jerk, Melbourne, Pharmacy, Victoria | Right | November 28, 2018


(The phone rings.)

Me: “Good morning, [Pharmacy]. This is [My Name] speaking.”

Customer: “I need to speak to the pharmacist.”

Me: “Sorry, the pharmacist is consulting at the moment. Maybe I can help you?”

Customer: “No. It’s super urgent. Only the pharmacist can answer this question.”

(Luckily, the pharmacist has just finished consulting.)

Me: “Oh! The pharmacist has just finished consulting. I will put you on.”

Pharmacist: “Hello? [Pharmacist] speaking.”

Customer: “What time do you guys close?”

[florida80]

Mass Decapitations Means It’s Christmas!

Bad Behavior, Oregon, Pharmacy, Portland, USA | Right | November 27, 2018


(I get a call from a lady who is very upset about some photos she sent to be printed.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. My name is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Caller: “You ruined my Christmas! All of the photos I just ordered today have the heads cut off! I can’t use these as Christmas cards! I want a refund or a reprint!”

Me: “No problem. Let me look up your order real quick.” *looks up order* “I’m sorry, miss, but it seems you ordered these through our app or online. Unfortunately, if you want these to be cropped the way you want them, I’m going to need you to come into the store; we would be happy to redo them for free.”

Caller: “This is ridiculous! I don’t have time for this! I can’t believe you guys can’t do your f****** job!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but if that’s not something you would like, I’m sure my manager would be okay with us giving you a refund.”

Caller: “I don’t have time to come back to that store! I can’t believe you won’t remake them! This is ridiculous!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’d be happy to help you remake them or give you a refund. But for either one you have to be at our store.”

(After another five minutes of her screaming at me, I get my manager to talk to her.)

Manager: “Thank you for holding. How may I help you?”

(The lady is screaming through the phone the same things she has told me already.)

Manager: “I’m so sorry that this happened. I would be willing to help you remake them or give you a full refund if you come back in.”

(The lady on the phone is now screaming so loud I can hear from next to my manager.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but unfortunately, unless you’re present in our store, I can’t give you a refund or remake your photos.”

(This continues for a good ten minutes.)

Manager: “Ma’am, what would you like us to do for you?”

(The lady is still screaming something about how we can’t do our jobs correctly.)

Manager: “Ma’am, what would you like us to do for you? I’ve given you your two choices; if you’re not satisfied with that then I can give you our 1-800 number.”

(The lady continues to scream at her for not being helpful.)

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but if you’re going to continue to scream at me then I’m going to have to hang up. I’ve given you your two choices in what we can do for you. If you’re not satisfied, then you can call our 1-800 number and leave a complaint.”

(The lady continues to scream at her.)

Manager: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but that’s all I can do. I’m going to hang up now.”

(The lady continues to scream.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m going to hang up now. We hope to see you in soon. Have a good day.”

(The manager hangs up phone.)

Me: “Wow… she was not happy.”

Manager: “She said she was driving on her way to our store, anyway. Guess it wasn’t too much of an issue for her to come over. I’m just glad I don’t have to talk to her anymore.”

[florida80]

Proving He Is The Biggest P***k

Harassment, Michigan, Pharmacy, Rude & Risque, USA |
Right | November 26, 2018

I am a cashier at a pharmacy chain. A man comes in to the store and immediately asks where to find condoms. It is company policy to walk each customer to the product they are looking for if at all possible. Being a good employee, I walk the man to the “Family Planning” aisle, and show him where to find the condoms.

Rather than leaving our encounter to a minimum, he decides to ask me which condoms I like. Not only am I a woman, but I’m very uncomfortable discussing sex with anyone, especially strangers.

After explaining that I have no preference, and that it’s all up to him, he asks, “Which are the biggest ones? I need the biggest, because I am the biggest.” I am mortified.

I leave him in the aisle by himself, and he chooses a brand for purchase. No more than two minutes after ringing him out, he comes back in to the store, with the package opened, and one condom missing. He slaps the package on the counter and yells, “They’re too tight! I’m returning these, and I need your number… You single?”

I have my manager run the return as I go to the stock room to hide.

[florida80]

Will Never Look Back Again

Health & Body, Language & Words, Montana, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 20, 2018


(I work on the retail side of a pharmacy, usually stocking shelves or helping customers. One day a young lady, maybe 19 or 20, approaches me, clearly embarrassed.)

Customer: *whispering* “Do you have, um, like, douches, but, um, for, like, the…” *I can now barely hear her* “…butt?”

Me: *stifling laughter* “Enema. The word you’re looking for is ‘enema,’ and yes, over this way.”

(I will forever call them “butt douches” from now on.)

[florida80]

This Story Has Some Darker Connotations

British Columbia, Canada, Language & Words, Pharmacy, Vancouver | Right | November 19, 2018


(I’m the customer in this story. I am Caucasian, of Irish and Scottish descent, and have extremely pale skin.)

Me: “Hi. Do you have melanin?”

Pharmacy Worker: “Sorry?”

Me: “Melanin, do you guys carry it?”

Pharmacy Worker: “No, I don’t think so.”

Me: “Drat, are you sure? My doctor told me I should get some before I went on my trip.”

Pharmacy Worker: “I don’t think it works like that.”

Me: “With respect, I’m going to listen to my doctor about how to treat my jet lag.”

Pharmacy Worker: “Jet lag? OH! You mean melatonin!“

Me: “Yes! Wait, did I say, ‘melanin’? Oh, my God, oops.”

(Melatonin is a sleep-related hormone you can buy over the counter in Canada; melanin is the compound that darkens your skin when you tan. I may be a bit short on melanin, but I wasn’t expecting to buy it at the pharmacy!)

[florida80]

Exploring The Amazon Gets You Nowhere

At The Checkout, California, Extra Stupid, Ignoring & Inattentive, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 15, 2018


(It’s about twenty minutes before closing and there’s one customer left in the store. This particular customer always comes in about two hours before closing every night and wanders the store until closing. He only ever buys two or three small items. He comes up to my register.)

Me: *after ringing in his items* “Your total is [total]. How would you like to pay?”

Customer: “I have a gift card.”

(We accept gift cards so I see no problem, until the customer hands me the card.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but this is an Amazon gift card. You can only use it on Amazon.”

Customer: “No. I can use it here, too. You guys accept gift cards.”

Me: “We do accept certain gift cards, but you can’t use this one here.”

Customer: “Just scan it; you’ll see that it works!”

Me: “Sir, there is no barcode or magnetic strip on this card. There’s only a number on the back that you can type in on the Amazon website. You can’t use this here. Do you have another form of payment?”

Customer: *getting irritated* “I don’t know why you won’t just use it! I’ve used it here before!”

Me: “Sir, we don’t accept these. I need another form of payment.”

Customer: “Just use this card!”

(This goes back and forth for several minutes.)

Customer: “Where in here does it say I can’t use gift cards?!”

Me: “Right here on the back of the card.” *reads where the card says it can only be used on Amazon*

Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?!”

(He grabbed his items and slammed it back down on the shelf and stormed out. By then it was twenty minutes past closing.)

[florida80]

The Bathroom Is Not The Only Thing Getting A Deep Clean

Great Stuff, Ignoring & Inattentive, North Carolina, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 15, 2018


(I work at a very busy pharmacy. One evening, our men’s restroom takes a turn for the worst and I have the privilege of setting it straight. I post a sign on the door that says, “CLOSED FOR CLEANING,” in red marker, and gather my supplies. A few minutes into the job, the door opens, and a man sticks his head in and asks:)

Man: “Is the bathroom closed?”

(It has been a really long day, with a lot of stupid questions, and I just can’t help myself.)

Me: *snapping a blue glove onto my hand* “Nope, we are giving out free prostate exams. I don’t have any lube, but I do have bleach. Step on in so we can get this over with.”

(He no longer needed the restroom.)

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #124979

Pharmacy, Providence, Rhode Island, USA | Unfiltered | November 11, 2018


(I take my nine-year-old daughter to the pharmacy because she has some pocket money to spend and wants to pick up a few treats. I enter my phone number to pull up my card number so my daughter would get any sale prices, but otherwise I am not involved in the transaction. I stand back as my daughter puts her items on the counter.)

Cashier: *looking up at me* “Would you like to donate a dollar to [charity] today?”

Me: *pointing back at my daughter* “She’s the one buying, not me.”

Cashier: *to daughter this time* “Would you like to donate a dollar to [charity] today?”

Daughter: “Sure, I’ll donate a dollar! I have the extra money, and it is for charity!”

(The cashier and her manager were shocked, but impressed, and quickly thanked my daughter!)

[florida80]

Renovate Or Stagnate

Jerk, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 10, 2018


(I work as a cashier in a popular pharmacy. Recently our store has been doing some renovations. Nothing too big, just moving some shelves around and moving all the registers to one side of the store. One night I come into work and have this conversation with a customer.)

Customer: “You guys are going to be closed within six months.”

Me: *confused* “What do you mean, sir?”

Customer: “You moved everything around. How are we supposed to find anything?! You moved the toilet paper next to the freezers! Now what sense does that make?! You be closed within a year, mark my words.”

Me: *slightly shocked but still smiling and courteous* “Well, I hope not, sir.”

Customer: “You will. YOU WILL!”

Me: “Can I get your store card, sir?”

Customer: “…”

(I ring him up and things go smoothly until I hand him the receipt.)

Me: “Okay, here’s your receipt, sir.”

Customer: “I’ve been shopping here for seven f****** years, and you go and change things like this!”

Me: “Well, thank you for shopping with us today, sir.”

Customer: *glares and walks out*

[florida80]

Not Buying It? Yeah, I’m Not Buying That

Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Children, Connecticut, Funny Kids, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 6, 2018


(I am a pharmacy technician. At the pharmacy where I work, we have those special shopping carts for small children, shaped like cars. I’m helping a family — a mom, teenage daughter, and a preschool girl, roughly four or five — with one such cart. They have a few items to ring out besides their prescriptions. I notice the little girl is holding something in her hands. Thinking it’s a toy her mom promised to buy her, I point it out to her sister.)

Me: *pointing at the girl* “Are you buying that, as well?”

Sister: “Buying… Oh, where did you get that?! May I see that? Thank you. We’re just going to put that over here.” *puts it on the counter, clearly not buying it*

(It was a bottle of shampoo, by the way. On closer inspection, the sister pulled out — I kid you not — over twenty more bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and other hair care products. The little girl must’ve grabbed everything when they drove through the beauty section. The sister was apologetic and everything, just glad I said something, as some of the stuff was really pricey, and everything in her car easily came out to over $100. The kid’s going to have really expensive tastes when she grows up!)

[florida80]

Knows How To Push Your Buttons By Not Knowing How To Push Buttons

Connecticut, Extra Stupid, Ignoring & Inattentive, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 4, 2018


(We keep certain cold medicines in a locked case due to high theft and due to teenagers using them to get high. There’s a button right next to said case, clearly labeled, to press for assistance. Pressing the button sends out a message over the PA system for a front store associate to come unlock the case and bring the items to the till. It’s a Sunday morning when this happens.)

Customer #1: “Hi, your medicine case is locked; can you come unlock it for me?”

Me: “We don’t have the keys to unlock it. You just press the button and someone will come get it.”

Customer #1: “Where? I can’t find it!”

(I start to walk out of the pharmacy to show her, when she finds it and hits the button. About ten minutes later, another customer walks up.)

Customer #2: “Hey, can you guys unlock the case?”

Me: “No, but there’s a button you can press and someone with the keys can unlock it.”

(Not even five minutes later, the button sounds.)

Me: “It’s not even nine yet.”

[florida80]

Coupon Comeback

At The Checkout, Coupon, Pharmacy, USA | Right | October 24, 2018


(I work at a very well-known pharmacy. It’s a shame how often I have this conversation.)

Me: *while handing them their receipt* “Okay, here’s your receipt. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “Oh, I have a coupon. Is it too late to use it?”

Me: “…”

[florida80]

The Reason Why Some Of Us Are Medicated:

Call Center, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Florida, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | October 24, 2018


(I work as a customer service representative. Our company manages prescription plans for a government-run insurance primarily for seniors. We also function as a mail-order pharmacy. This call takes place while I’m still in training during my first week taking calls.)

Me: “This is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah. My husband needs to start taking [drug]. I want to know if his plan will cover it.”

Me: “I can certainly check that for you, ma’am. May I have some information?”

(After I verify her husband’s account information, I look up the medication.)

Me: “Okay. Your husband’s insurance will cover that for an approximate cost of [total].”

Customer: “Well, that seems like too much, but he needs it. Can you send it to him, please?”

Me: “Let me see.”

(I check, and we do not have a prescription for it, nor has another pharmacy filed a claim.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We will need your husband’s doctor to send us a new prescription before we can fill it.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, his doctor won’t write it. You have to stop drinking for six months, and my husband likes to have a beer or two every night, so the doctor won’t write one.”

Me: “I’m sorry. But without a prescription, we cannot send a medication.”

Customer: *getting angry* “But I told you that his doctor won’t write the prescription! Can’t you just send it if we pay full price?”

Me: “Again, ma’am, I’m sorry, but we must have a prescription before we can send the medication.”

Customer: “Well, why can’t you just send it?!”

Me: *rubbing my temples at this point* “Ma’am, that would be illegal.”

[florida80]

It All Boils Down To This

Health & Body, Parents, Pharmacy, Singapore | Right | January 12, 2019


(A young mother pushes her baby over in a pram and tells me that her baby took some “warm” water and splashed his face with it the day before. I look at the baby and he seems bubbly and happy. There is barely any sign of redness of his skin and there are no blisters, either.)

Me: “There’s isn’t any redness at all. He seems fine.”

Mother: “There’s a mark here.” *points under his eye*

Me: “Well, it’s not that obvious. You shouldn’t need to do anything about it. It’ll go away on its own.”

Mother: “The water got in his eyes.”

(I look at the baby’s eyes. There is also no redness.)

Me: “He looks fine. He’s not crying, either.”

Mother: “He cried for ten minutes yesterday. Will it leave a scar?”

Me: “No… his skin did not even get damaged. You really don’t have to do anything.”

(The mother looked a bit relieved yet doubtful at the same time but she thanked me anyway. Later she came back and asked if sun protection was needed to prevent scarring. Just to satisfy my curiosity, I asked if she really meant “warm” water or if she meant “hot” water. She told me that it was freshly boiled water with a triumphant expression. Well, either this baby has skin made of steel… or she left the boiled water out longer than she thought and it had cooled down already!)

[florida80]

Behaving Poorly

Criminal & Illegal, Health & Body, Pharmacy, UK | Legal | November 28, 2018


(I am full of a chest cold and have struggled to the pharmacy to stock up on decongestants, so I can go back to bed for as long as possible. My spouse has texted to ask me to pick up extra, as he’s starting with the same cold. As I look through the shelf of cold and flu medication, I notice that everything contains either paracetamol — acetaminophen — or ibuprofen. There are laws limiting the sale of those medications in the UK, which have significantly reduced intentional and accidental overdoses.)

Me: *pointing at shelf* “Excuse me. How many packets am I allowed to buy?”

Assistant: “Only two, I’m afraid.”

Me: “Oh, bother. For two of us poorly, that’s only two days’ worth. Never mind. I’ll just have to come back again.”

Assistant: “Well, unless you have a consultation with the pharmacist…”

(Fortunately, the pharmacist agrees to authorise sale of two packets each for me and my spouse, and after thanking her, I pay.)

Assistant: “People are so rude about the limit, though. You should hear what they’re like when we have to say no.”

Me: “What? But they do know it’s actually the law and not just [Pharmacy] policy?”

Assistant: “Yes. One man shouted at me for several minutes because I wouldn’t sell him ten packets of paracetamol in one go. Then he said, ‘I’m just going to come back in fifteen minutes to buy more and you won’t remember me.’”

Me: “I’m not sure that’s how that works.”

Assistant: “Yeah, he was pretty memorable by that point.”

Me: “And instead he could just have gone to [Shop twenty metres away] and [Shop fifty metres away], which both sell that kind of medicine.”

Assistant: “Exactly!”

[florida80]

Medication To Cure Delusions Of Self-Importance

Australia, Crazy Requests, Jerk, Melbourne, Pharmacy, Victoria | Right | November 28, 2018


(The phone rings.)

Me: “Good morning, [Pharmacy]. This is [My Name] speaking.”

Customer: “I need to speak to the pharmacist.”

Me: “Sorry, the pharmacist is consulting at the moment. Maybe I can help you?”

Customer: “No. It’s super urgent. Only the pharmacist can answer this question.”

(Luckily, the pharmacist has just finished consulting.)

Me: “Oh! The pharmacist has just finished consulting. I will put you on.”

Pharmacist: “Hello? [Pharmacist] speaking.”

Customer: “What time do you guys close?”

[florida80]

Will Never Look Back Again

Health & Body, Language & Words, Montana, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 20, 2018


(I work on the retail side of a pharmacy, usually stocking shelves or helping customers. One day a young lady, maybe 19 or 20, approaches me, clearly embarrassed.)

Customer: *whispering* “Do you have, um, like, douches, but, um, for, like, the…” *I can now barely hear her* “…butt?”

Me: *stifling laughter* “Enema. The word you’re looking for is ‘enema,’ and yes, over this way.”

(I will forever call them “butt douches” from now on

[florida80]

This Story Has Some Darker Connotations

British Columbia, Canada, Language & Words, Pharmacy, Vancouver | Right | November 19, 2018


(I’m the customer in this story. I am Caucasian, of Irish and Scottish descent, and have extremely pale skin.)

Me: “Hi. Do you have melanin?”

Pharmacy Worker: “Sorry?”

Me: “Melanin, do you guys carry it?”

Pharmacy Worker: “No, I don’t think so.”

Me: “Drat, are you sure? My doctor told me I should get some before I went on my trip.”

Pharmacy Worker: “I don’t think it works like that.”

Me: “With respect, I’m going to listen to my doctor about how to treat my jet lag.”

Pharmacy Worker: “Jet lag? OH! You mean melatonin!“

Me: “Yes! Wait, did I say, ‘melanin’? Oh, my God, oops.”

(Melatonin is a sleep-related hormone you can buy over the counter in Canada; melanin is the compound that darkens your skin when you tan. I may be a bit short on melanin, but I wasn’t expecting to buy it at the pharmacy!)

[florida80]

Exploring The Amazon Gets You Nowhere

At The Checkout, California, Extra Stupid, Ignoring & Inattentive, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 15, 2018


(It’s about twenty minutes before closing and there’s one customer left in the store. This particular customer always comes in about two hours before closing every night and wanders the store until closing. He only ever buys two or three small items. He comes up to my register.)

Me: *after ringing in his items* “Your total is [total]. How would you like to pay?”

Customer: “I have a gift card.”

(We accept gift cards so I see no problem, until the customer hands me the card.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but this is an Amazon gift card. You can only use it on Amazon.”

Customer: “No. I can use it here, too. You guys accept gift cards.”

Me: “We do accept certain gift cards, but you can’t use this one here.”

Customer: “Just scan it; you’ll see that it works!”

Me: “Sir, there is no barcode or magnetic strip on this card. There’s only a number on the back that you can type in on the Amazon website. You can’t use this here. Do you have another form of payment?”

Customer: *getting irritated* “I don’t know why you won’t just use it! I’ve used it here before!”

Me: “Sir, we don’t accept these. I need another form of payment.”

Customer: “Just use this card!”

(This goes back and forth for several minutes.)

Customer: “Where in here does it say I can’t use gift cards?!”

Me: “Right here on the back of the card.” *reads where the card says it can only be used on Amazon*

Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?!”

(He grabbed his items and slammed it back down on the shelf and stormed out. By then it was twenty minutes past cl

[florida80]

The Bathroom I work at a very busy pharmacy. One evening, our men’s restroom takes a turn for the worst and I have the privilege of setting it straight. I post a sign on the door that says, “CLOSED FOR CLEANING,” in red marker, and gather my supplies. A few minutes into the job, the door opens, and a man sticks his head in and asks:)

Man: “Is the bathroom closed?”

(It has been a really long day, with a lot of stupid questions, and I just can’t help myself.)

Me: *snapping a blue glove onto my hand* “Nope, we are giving out free prostate exams. I don’t have any lube, but I do have bleach. Step on in so we can get this over with.”

(He no longer needed the restroom.)
Is Not The Only Thing Getting A Deep Clean

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #124979

Pharmacy, Providence, Rhode Island, USA | Unfiltered | November 11, 2018


(I take my nine-year-old daughter to the pharmacy because she has some pocket money to spend and wants to pick up a few treats. I enter my phone number to pull up my card number so my daughter would get any sale prices, but otherwise I am not involved in the transaction. I stand back as my daughter puts her items on the counter.)

Cashier: *looking up at me* “Would you like to donate a dollar to [charity] today?”

Me: *pointing back at my daughter* “She’s the one buying, not me.”

Cashier: *to daughter this time* “Would you like to donate a dollar to [charity] today?”

Daughter: “Sure, I’ll donate a dollar! I have the extra money, and it is for charity!”

(The cashier and her manager were shocked, but impressed, and quickly thanked my daughter!)

[florida80]

Renovate Or Stagnate

Jerk, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 10, 2018


(I work as a cashier in a popular pharmacy. Recently our store has been doing some renovations. Nothing too big, just moving some shelves around and moving all the registers to one side of the store. One night I come into work and have this conversation with a customer.)

Customer: “You guys are going to be closed within six months.”

Me: *confused* “What do you mean, sir?”

Customer: “You moved everything around. How are we supposed to find anything?! You moved the toilet paper next to the freezers! Now what sense does that make?! You be closed within a year, mark my words.”

Me: *slightly shocked but still smiling and courteous* “Well, I hope not, sir.”

Customer: “You will. YOU WILL!”

Me: “Can I get your store card, sir?”

Customer: “…”

(I ring him up and things go smoothly until I hand him the receipt.)

Me: “Okay, here’s your receipt, sir.”

Customer: “I’ve been shopping here for seven f****** years, and you go and change things like this!”

Me: “Well, thank you for shopping with us today, sir.”

Customer: *glares and walks out*

[florida80]

Their Knowledge Is A Bit Patchy

Australia, Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Hobart, Pharmacy, Tasmania | Right | November 7, 2018


(I am selling a customer nicotine patches to help them quit smoking.)

Customer: “So, can I still smoke when I’m wearing the patches? Someone said I can.”

Me: *head-desks internally*

[florida80]

Not Buying It? Yeah, I’m Not Buying That

Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Children, Connecticut, Funny Kids, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 6, 2018


(I am a pharmacy technician. At the pharmacy where I work, we have those special shopping carts for small children, shaped like cars. I’m helping a family — a mom, teenage daughter, and a preschool girl, roughly four or five — with one such cart. They have a few items to ring out besides their prescriptions. I notice the little girl is holding something in her hands. Thinking it’s a toy her mom promised to buy her, I point it out to her sister.)

Me: *pointing at the girl* “Are you buying that, as well?”

Sister: “Buying… Oh, where did you get that?! May I see that? Thank you. We’re just going to put that over here.” *puts it on the counter, clearly not buying it*

(It was a bottle of shampoo, by the way. On closer inspection, the sister pulled out — I kid you not — over twenty more bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and other hair care products. The little girl must’ve grabbed everything when they drove through the beauty section. The sister was apologetic and everything, just glad I said something, as some of the stuff was really pricey, and everything in her car easily came out to over $100. The kid’s going to have really expensive tastes when she grows up!)

[florida80]

Knows How To Push Your Buttons By Not Knowing How To Push Buttons

Connecticut, Extra Stupid, Ignoring & Inattentive, Pharmacy, USA | Right | November 4, 2018


(We keep certain cold medicines in a locked case due to high theft and due to teenagers using them to get high. There’s a button right next to said case, clearly labeled, to press for assistance. Pressing the button sends out a message over the PA system for a front store associate to come unlock the case and bring the items to the till. It’s a Sunday morning when this happens.)

Customer #1: “Hi, your medicine case is locked; can you come unlock it for me?”

Me: “We don’t have the keys to unlock it. You just press the button and someone will come get it.”

Customer #1: “Where? I can’t find it!”

(I start to walk out of the pharmacy to show her, when she finds it and hits the button. About ten minutes later, another customer walks up.)

Customer #2: “Hey, can you guys unlock the case?”

Me: “No, but there’s a button you can press and someone with the keys can unlock it.”

(Not even five minutes later, the button sounds.)

Me: “It’s not even nine yet.”

[florida80]

Possibly Hoping For Telepathic Texts

Boston, Extra Stupid, Massachusetts, Pharmacy, Technology, USA | Right | October 29, 2018


(I work as a pharmacy technician at one a major pharmacy chains. Recently, store management has been pushing for the pharmacy employees to try and get customers to sign up for text message alerts when their prescription is ready for pick up.)

Me: *having gone through most of the transaction* “Do you get cell phone text alerts when your scripts are ready?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Would you like to?”

Customer: “Sure!”

Me: “All right, what cell number should we have in our system for us to text to?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t have a cell phone.”

Me: “Then… you can’t receive text messages.”

(Sadly, this exchange has happened at least five times!)

[florida80]

The Reason Why Some Of Us Are Medicated:

Call Center, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Florida, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | October 24, 2018


(I work as a customer service representative. Our company manages prescription plans for a government-run insurance primarily for seniors. We also function as a mail-order pharmacy. This call takes place while I’m still in training during my first week taking calls.)

Me: “This is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah. My husband needs to start taking [drug]. I want to know if his plan will cover it.”

Me: “I can certainly check that for you, ma’am. May I have some information?”

(After I verify her husband’s account information, I look up the medication.)

Me: “Okay. Your husband’s insurance will cover that for an approximate cost of [total].”

Customer: “Well, that seems like too much, but he needs it. Can you send it to him, please?”

Me: “Let me see.”

(I check, and we do not have a prescription for it, nor has another pharmacy filed a claim.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We will need your husband’s doctor to send us a new prescription before we can fill it.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, his doctor won’t write it. You have to stop drinking for six months, and my husband likes to have a beer or two every night, so the doctor won’t write one.”

Me: “I’m sorry. But without a prescription, we cannot send a medication.”

Customer: *getting angry* “But I told you that his doctor won’t write the prescription! Can’t you just send it if we pay full price?”

Me: “Again, ma’am, I’m sorry, but we must have a prescription before we can send the medication.”

Customer: “Well, why can’t you just send it?!”

Me: *rubbing my temples at this point* “Ma’am, that would be illegal.”

[florida80]

Impatient Patient, Party Of One

Jerk, Minnesota, Pharmacy, United States | Right | October 18, 2018


(I am waiting in line for my prescription to be ready when I see this take place.)

Cashier: “Sir, we are trying to get a hold of the number on your file, but we are unable to reach them at the moment—”

Customer: “I have been waiting, and you’re letting all these other people go. Call the number again!”

Cashier: “Again, sir, I am sorry. We’ll try the number again and let you know.”

(The cashier goes back to the phone while the customer paces and keeps calling someone.)

Cashier: “Sorry, sir, we are still trying to get a hold of someone on that number, but we’re unable to get through.”

Customer: “Well, this is bulls***. I want your name and the manager’s name.”

(The cashier sends him off with the information and he walks away grumbling. The cashier calls me up and informs me that they are bit behind, but it will be filled shortly.)

Me: “That’s no problem; I can wait.”

Cashier: “You have time to wait?”

Me: “Yeah, I understand, and I am not going to be like that guy. He was just plain rude.”

(We laughed and she walked away with a smile.)

[florida80]

Don’t Go (Down) There

Extra Stupid, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | October 14, 2018


(I stop by my local pharmacy to pick up my prescription of birth control pills and to talk to my buddy who is a pharmacist. I notice on the package it says, “To be taken orally.” I point it out to my friend.)

Me: *with a laugh* “Well, what idiot doesn’t know that?”

(My buddy’s eyes grow big and she says:)

Buddy: “Oh, no. You would be surprised! The reason that is now on there is we actually had a woman sue us because she claimed we didn’t properly instruct her on how the pills had to be taken orally, and she got pregnant.”

Me: “Well, then, how the heck did she use them? Where did she put them?”

(Then, it dawns on me where she must have put the pills.)

Me: “Ohhhh, never mind. I didn’t ask.”

[florida80]

The Pharmacy Version Of “I’m Looking For A Book That’s Red”

Australia, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Melbourne, Pharmacy | Healthy Right | October 10, 2018


Customer: “I need to get a repeat on my medication. I’ve ran out of the script so can you give me an owning? I’ve been here many times.”

Me: “Sure, that shouldn’t be a problem. Can you give me your name and the name of the medication you want owning?”

Customer: “My name is [Customer] and I don’t know what the medication is called.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Do you know what the medication is for?”

Customer; “No. Just look up the medication I’m on.”

Me: “You’re on a few different medications.”

Customer: “It’s a little white tablet.”

Me: “All but one of the five medications you are on are white. Box or bottle?”

Customer: “No idea. Just give me an owing.”

Me: “Sir, sorry, but without know what the medication is for or what it is called, I cannot give you an owing. But would you know what it is if I showed you the packages it comes in?.”

(I quickly grab a few bottles and boxes of medications that the customer is on, hoping it jogs his memory.)

Customer: “Nope. I don’t know which one it is. Just give me an owing. It’s a little white pill! You’re suppose to know what I want!”

Me: “Sir, as I said, a few of your medications you are on are small white pills., I’m sorry but I want to make sure I am giving you the right medication. Are you sure you don’t know what the medication is called or what it is used for?”

Customer: “You’re no help. You’re suppose to know what I want!” *leaves the store*

[florida80]

Prescribing Them Some Anti-Mean Pills

Awesome Customers, Connecticut, Jerk, Pharmacy, USA | Right | October 8, 2018


(I work at a pharmacy as a technician. We have the ability to request certain prescription refills for patients at the doctor’s discretion. Notes appear on a patient’s profile when we make requests, giving us the status of the request — waiting for response, denied, or approved. It usually takes two or three days to hear back from a doctor, so we generally make the requests within a week or two of when the patient will be out of medication to avoid issues with insurance companies filling too soon. It is about nine in the morning on a weekday when a middle-aged man walks up to the pickup counter:)

Me: “Hi. Welcome to [Pharmacy]. How can I help?”

Customer #1: “I’m here to pick up a prescription.”

(I take his name and birthdate to pull up his profile. There are no prescriptions ready, but there is a note that we’ve sent a request to a doctor for a refill.)

Me: “It appears that you don’t have any prescriptions ready, sir, but we did send out a request to your doctor for a refill of [Prescription].”

Customer #1: “Yes, I know that. I was here yesterday and you guys told me the exact same thing. I have to drive a long way to get here. Why isn’t it ready yet?”

Me: “Well, it often takes a couple of days for a doctor to respond. Are you out of medication?”

(Occasionally, we will give patients a few extra pills if we’re having issues reaching the doctor, and they’re entirely out of medication. The customer gets angrier.)

Customer #1: “Why hasn’t it been filled yet? He always responds quickly! Haven’t you checked your messages yet? What kind of place is this?”

(At nine in the morning, not all doctor’s offices in our area are even OPEN, let alone writing prescriptions. We usually recommend calling in the afternoon to hear back from doctors.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the doctor still hasn’t sent us the refills yet. If you really need the medication, you can try calling the doctor’s office, as well.”

(This sometimes does help to speed up a doctor’s refills and authorizations, and we reach out to the patient to tell them if we don’t hear back in three days of a request to recommend getting in touch with the doctor. This also causes a note on a profile, which is not on this customer’s profile.)

Customer #1: “Why do I need to call the doctor when that’s clearly your job?”

(At this point I’m shocked speechless in anger. It takes me a few seconds to recover.)

Me: “You could also call us to make sure we have the prescription before coming.”

Customer #1: “You people never pick up the phone! I always end up on hold when I call.”

(The customer walks away, muttering about how we never have the prescriptions ready and don’t know what we’re doing. The customer behind him, who was waiting for her prescriptions to be refilled, has heard the whole exchange, and is equally as shocked at this guy.)

Customer #2: “Wow… I don’t know how you can put up with someone like that; I couldn’t handle being yelled at by someone with an attitude.”

Me: “Unfortunately, that’s not the worst of it. Sometimes they’re even meaner.”

Customer #2: “I’m sorry. I hope you don’t have any more like him today.”

(She was very polite throughout the rest of the exchange, and whatever upset I was feeling at the first customer was erased by her. She made my day. Whoever you are, thank you; I needed it.)

[florida80]

Wish You Could Take The Blue Pill And Forget

Cedar Rapids, Ignoring & Inattentive, Iowa, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | October 8, 2018


(I’m a Certified Pharmacy Technician at a midwest grocery and pharmacy chain. I’m not exaggerating when I say I get far too many of these calls EVERY DAY.)

Me: *answers phone with usual friendly attitude* “This is [My Name] at [Pharmacy]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “I need a refill on my prescriptions.”

Me: *pulls up profile after asking for name and birthdate* “Okay, which ones did you need refilled today?”

Customer: “Oh… I don’t know the names.” *describing various pills*

Me: *sighs and facepalms* “Right, let me get you on with the pharmacist.”

(Long story short, folks: you, as the customer, are personally responsible for knowing exactly what goes into your body and what prescriptions need to be refilled. WE DON’T HAVE ALL DRUGS MEMORIZED JUST BY HOW THEY APPEAR IN OUR HEADS!)

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #122275

Pharmacy, Texas, USA | Unfiltered | October 2, 2018


Note: I’m a customer in a long line at [national pharmacy chain], they are obviously very busy for this time of night. I have a basket of stuff to purchase and pick up a prescription. I was a waiter for 3 years.
Technician: Just want to make sure you know your Rx discount card has expired.
Customer #1 (flipping out): What?! That’s ridiculous, how come no one told me? What do I need to do to renew?!
Technician: Just pay the $9 fee.
Customer #1: Oh, OK. (walks away like nothing happened)
Customer #2 (dramatically): I came from another pharmacy that closes at 10 and I need to fill this nooooow!
Technician (calmly): We close at 10 too, and will not have time to fill this tonight.
Customer #2 (oblivious to the long line): But, Whyyyyy not?
Technician: Because we are very busy. The nearest 24-hour [pharmacy chain] is located at [address].
Customer #2: *Walks away in a huff*
Customer #3: Why isn’t my prescription ready?!
Technician (somehow still calm, despite this line of rude people): Because of *unintelligible*, but let me look… Ah, I’ve fixed it and your prescription will be ready in a few minutes.
Customer #3: Oh, OK. (Steps away, but lingers nearby creepily).
Me: I need to pick up [prescription], but I can check-out up front since you’re so busy.
Technician (loudly enough for lingering customer #3 to overhear): Oh, I’ll check you out. I don’t mind at all. We all talk about how you and your wife are always nice when you come in.
Me: If you’re sure… You catch more flies with honey you know!
Technician: Of course, no problem.
Pharmacist: Hey Mr. [my name], how’s the wife?
See d-bags of the world, being a jerk for no reason doesn’t get you anywhere. Being nice to service workers is a win-win for everybody!

[florida80]

In The Sun But Not Very Bright

Canada, Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Ontario, Patients, Pharmacy | Healthy | October 1, 2018


(I’m a pharmacist. I’m counselling a client on how to apply the rosacea cream his doctor has prescribed for him.)

Me: “…and remember, even if you use this regularly, the most important way to prevent rosacea flares is to stay out of the sun.”

Patient: “I’m in the sun all the time!”

Me: “May I suggest sunscreen?”

Patient: “Oh, no, I don’t wear sunscreen. I don’t want to put chemicals on my face.”

(I looked at the box of expensive prescription face chemicals and died a little inside.)

[florida80]

Impatient Patient, Party Of One

Jerk, Minnesota, Pharmacy, United States | Right | October 18, 2018


(I am waiting in line for my prescription to be ready when I see this take place.)

Cashier: “Sir, we are trying to get a hold of the number on your file, but we are unable to reach them at the moment—”

Customer: “I have been waiting, and you’re letting all these other people go. Call the number again!”

Cashier: “Again, sir, I am sorry. We’ll try the number again and let you know.”

(The cashier goes back to the phone while the customer paces and keeps calling someone.)

Cashier: “Sorry, sir, we are still trying to get a hold of someone on that number, but we’re unable to get through.”

Customer: “Well, this is bulls***. I want your name and the manager’s name.”

(The cashier sends him off with the information and he walks away grumbling. The cashier calls me up and informs me that they are bit behind, but it will be filled shortly.)

Me: “That’s no problem; I can wait.”

Cashier: “You have time to wait?”

Me: “Yeah, I understand, and I am not going to be like that guy. He was just plain rude.”

(We laughed and she walked away with a smile.)



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[florida80]

Don’t Go (Down) There

Extra Stupid, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | October 14, 2018


(I stop by my local pharmacy to pick up my prescription of birth control pills and to talk to my buddy who is a pharmacist. I notice on the package it says, “To be taken orally.” I point it out to my friend.)

Me: *with a laugh* “Well, what idiot doesn’t know that?”

(My buddy’s eyes grow big and she says:)

Buddy: “Oh, no. You would be surprised! The reason that is now on there is we actually had a woman sue us because she claimed we didn’t properly instruct her on how the pills had to be taken orally, and she got pregnant.”

Me: “Well, then, how the heck did she use them? Where did she put them?”

(Then, it dawns on me where she must have put the pills.)

Me: “Ohhhh, never mind. I didn’t ask.”

[florida80]

It’s A Bad Sign-us Infection

Doctor/Physician, Germany, home, Hospital, Ignoring & Inattentive, Non-Dialogue | Healthy | October 15, 2018


Several months ago my cousin woke up with an absolutely massively swollen right eye, so naturally, she went to the hospital to have that checked out. They administered two CT scans, diagnosed her with a large, inoperable, cancerous tumor sitting right behind her right eye, and gave her six months to live.

Cancer is rampant in our family, so this makes sense in the context. However, she’s always been kind of easy-going and also, she refuses to believe it, so she just didn’t tell anybody and went about her life as usual.

A few weeks after the diagnosis, she was at a normal dentist appointment, and whenever anything touched her right cheek, it hurt a lot, more than it ever had at the dentist, even though she was just having a check done. Her dentist informed her that she had a severe sinus infection. She told him about her recent diagnosis, and he was absolutely not having it.

The next day they went back to the hospital together, in his free time, and he demanded they do another check and pointed out her sinus infection. It turned out he was right; she had a severe sinus infection, not a deadly tumor, that had spread up to right behind her right eye, and had caused an infection. She received normal treatment for that, and within a short time everything was back to normal. The first CT scan had been incorrectly calibrated, and the second one had been incorrectly interpreted.

Having spent many of my teenage years in hospitals myself, I’ve seen a lot, but I had never personally encountered a doctor as dedicated as that dentist before.

[florida80]

It’s time for the September roundup! This one is a bit late as a third of our editing team was caught up in not one, but two typhoons while touring Asia these last few weeks. Our editors have decided among themselves which stories in September deserve the extra attention, regardless of the number of thumbs-ups they received. Out of the 807 stories we posted in the month, we’ve singled out thirteen.

If there are any stories from the last month you feel we should have included, please let us know in the comments!

Don’t forget to vote for your favorite stories in the poll below! Note: You can choose up to three*. The winner of the previous roundup poll was Life… Finds A Way , from the Related category!



What A PIN-Head – You need to know customers’ PINs for them, apparently.

Two Heads Are Better Than One – When you work doubles you see double…

Fart Jokes Exist In A Vacuum – Yes, it’s a fart joke. Yes, it’s worth reading.

How Do You Say “Burn” In Polish? – It’s ‘palić się’ actually.

Caning Is Coming Back As A Disciplinary Tool – You’re disabling yourself.

The Best Comeback Since Sliced Bread – We love it when a customer gets a healthy slice of reality.

Mini-Cooper Versus 35-Ton Truck – Read the story to see the results of the title’s battle – stay for the final twist!

The Bells Of Destiny – Their relationship is super(stitious)!

She Was Framed – This is the frame for how all bad customers should be treated.

Guy Giving You Trouble? Just Bounce – The creepier the guy, the more satisfying the bounce…

Man, What A Wait! – Sexism gets you nowhere.

The Babysitter Blues – See what happens when you’re literally left holding the baby.

Giving You A Bridge To Cross – Quite possible one of the most “Not Always Hopeless” hopeless stories we have ever received.

[florida80]

The Pharmacy Version Of “I’m Looking For A Book That’s Red”

Australia, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Melbourne, Pharmacy | Healthy Right | October 10, 2018


Customer: “I need to get a repeat on my medication. I’ve ran out of the script so can you give me an owning? I’ve been here many times.”

Me: “Sure, that shouldn’t be a problem. Can you give me your name and the name of the medication you want owning?”

Customer: “My name is [Customer] and I don’t know what the medication is called.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Do you know what the medication is for?”

Customer; “No. Just look up the medication I’m on.”

Me: “You’re on a few different medications.”

Customer: “It’s a little white tablet.”

Me: “All but one of the five medications you are on are white. Box or bottle?”

Customer: “No idea. Just give me an owing.”

Me: “Sir, sorry, but without know what the medication is for or what it is called, I cannot give you an owing. But would you know what it is if I showed you the packages it comes in?.”

(I quickly grab a few bottles and boxes of medications that the customer is on, hoping it jogs his memory.)

Customer: “Nope. I don’t know which one it is. Just give me an owing. It’s a little white pill! You’re suppose to know what I want!”

Me: “Sir, as I said, a few of your medications you are on are small white pills., I’m sorry but I want to make sure I am giving you the right medication. Are you sure you don’t know what the medication is called or what it is used for?”

Customer: “You’re no help. You’re suppose to know what I want!” *leaves the store*

[florida80]

Prescribing Them Some Anti-Mean Pills

Awesome Customers, Connecticut, Jerk, Pharmacy, USA | Right | October 8, 2018


(I work at a pharmacy as a technician. We have the ability to request certain prescription refills for patients at the doctor’s discretion. Notes appear on a patient’s profile when we make requests, giving us the status of the request — waiting for response, denied, or approved. It usually takes two or three days to hear back from a doctor, so we generally make the requests within a week or two of when the patient will be out of medication to avoid issues with insurance companies filling too soon. It is about nine in the morning on a weekday when a middle-aged man walks up to the pickup counter:)

Me: “Hi. Welcome to [Pharmacy]. How can I help?”

Customer #1: “I’m here to pick up a prescription.”

(I take his name and birthdate to pull up his profile. There are no prescriptions ready, but there is a note that we’ve sent a request to a doctor for a refill.)

Me: “It appears that you don’t have any prescriptions ready, sir, but we did send out a request to your doctor for a refill of [Prescription].”

Customer #1: “Yes, I know that. I was here yesterday and you guys told me the exact same thing. I have to drive a long way to get here. Why isn’t it ready yet?”

Me: “Well, it often takes a couple of days for a doctor to respond. Are you out of medication?”

(Occasionally, we will give patients a few extra pills if we’re having issues reaching the doctor, and they’re entirely out of medication. The customer gets angrier.)

Customer #1: “Why hasn’t it been filled yet? He always responds quickly! Haven’t you checked your messages yet? What kind of place is this?”

(At nine in the morning, not all doctor’s offices in our area are even OPEN, let alone writing prescriptions. We usually recommend calling in the afternoon to hear back from doctors.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the doctor still hasn’t sent us the refills yet. If you really need the medication, you can try calling the doctor’s office, as well.”

(This sometimes does help to speed up a doctor’s refills and authorizations, and we reach out to the patient to tell them if we don’t hear back in three days of a request to recommend getting in touch with the doctor. This also causes a note on a profile, which is not on this customer’s profile.)

Customer #1: “Why do I need to call the doctor when that’s clearly your job?”

(At this point I’m shocked speechless in anger. It takes me a few seconds to recover.)

Me: “You could also call us to make sure we have the prescription before coming.”

Customer #1: “You people never pick up the phone! I always end up on hold when I call.”

(The customer walks away, muttering about how we never have the prescriptions ready and don’t know what we’re doing. The customer behind him, who was waiting for her prescriptions to be refilled, has heard the whole exchange, and is equally as shocked at this guy.)

Customer #2: “Wow… I don’t know how you can put up with someone like that; I couldn’t handle being yelled at by someone with an attitude.”

Me: “Unfortunately, that’s not the worst of it. Sometimes they’re even meaner.”

Customer #2: “I’m sorry. I hope you don’t have any more like him today.”

(She was very polite throughout the rest of the exchange, and whatever upset I was feeling at the first customer was erased by her. She made my day. Whoever you are, thank you; I needed it.)

[florida80]

Wish You Could Take The Blue Pill And Forget

Cedar Rapids, Ignoring & Inattentive, Iowa, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | October 8, 2018


(I’m a Certified Pharmacy Technician at a midwest grocery and pharmacy chain. I’m not exaggerating when I say I get far too many of these calls EVERY DAY.)

Me: *answers phone with usual friendly attitude* “This is [My Name] at [Pharmacy]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “I need a refill on my prescriptions.”

Me: *pulls up profile after asking for name and birthdate* “Okay, which ones did you need refilled today?”

Customer: “Oh… I don’t know the names.” *describing various pills*

Me: *sighs and facepalms* “Right, let me get you on with the pharmacist.”

(Long story short, folks: you, as the customer, are personally responsible for knowing exactly what goes into your body and what prescriptions need to be refilled. WE DON’T HAVE ALL DRUGS MEMORIZED JUST BY HOW THEY APPEAR IN OUR HEADS!)

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #122275

Pharmacy, Texas, USA | Unfiltered | October 2, 2018


Note: I’m a customer in a long line at [national pharmacy chain], they are obviously very busy for this time of night. I have a basket of stuff to purchase and pick up a prescription. I was a waiter for 3 years.
Technician: Just want to make sure you know your Rx discount card has expired.
Customer #1 (flipping out): What?! That’s ridiculous, how come no one told me? What do I need to do to renew?!
Technician: Just pay the $9 fee.
Customer #1: Oh, OK. (walks away like nothing happened)
Customer #2 (dramatically): I came from another pharmacy that closes at 10 and I need to fill this nooooow!
Technician (calmly): We close at 10 too, and will not have time to fill this tonight.
Customer #2 (oblivious to the long line): But, Whyyyyy not?
Technician: Because we are very busy. The nearest 24-hour [pharmacy chain] is located at [address].
Customer #2: *Walks away in a huff*
Customer #3: Why isn’t my prescription ready?!
Technician (somehow still calm, despite this line of rude people): Because of *unintelligible*, but let me look… Ah, I’ve fixed it and your prescription will be ready in a few minutes.
Customer #3: Oh, OK. (Steps away, but lingers nearby creepily).
Me: I need to pick up [prescription], but I can check-out up front since you’re so busy.
Technician (loudly enough for lingering customer #3 to overhear): Oh, I’ll check you out. I don’t mind at all. We all talk about how you and your wife are always nice when you come in.
Me: If you’re sure… You catch more flies with honey you know!
Technician: Of course, no problem.
Pharmacist: Hey Mr. [my name], how’s the wife?
See d-bags of the world, being a jerk for no reason doesn’t get you anywhere. Being nice to service workers is a win-win for everybody!

[florida80]

In The Sun But Not Very Bright

Canada, Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Ontario, Patients, Pharmacy | Healthy | October 1, 2018


(I’m a pharmacist. I’m counselling a client on how to apply the rosacea cream his doctor has prescribed for him.)

Me: “…and remember, even if you use this regularly, the most important way to prevent rosacea flares is to stay out of the sun.”

Patient: “I’m in the sun all the time!”

Me: “May I suggest sunscreen?”

Patient: “Oh, no, I don’t wear sunscreen. I don’t want to put chemicals on my face.”

(I looked at the box of expensive prescription face chemicals and died a little inside.)

[florida80]

Constants Of Life: Grumbling Customers And Taxes

At The Checkout, Ignoring & Inattentive, North Carolina, Pharmacy, USA | Right | September 27, 2018


(I’m a customer in this story, getting into line to check out my items. I’m directly behind an older gentleman reading through a tabloid. This exchange happens when he gets to the checkout counter.)

Customer: “Can you tell me how much this costs? I can’t read it.”

Cashier: “Yes, it is $4.99. Would you like to purchase it?”

Customer: *thinks for a few seconds* “Yes.”

Cashier: *scans tabloid* “Sir, that will be $5.35, would you like a bag?”

Customer: *hands cashier a $5, grabs the magazine*

Cashier: “Sir, I need $0.35 more.”

Customer: “What, why?”

Cashier: “The total is $5.35.”

Customer: *points to magazine, shouts* “YOU SAID FOUR! FOUR! NOT FIVE!”

Cashier: “Yes, it’s $4.99, plus tax. The tax makes it $5.35.”

Customer: “NO.”

Cashier: “Yes, sir, you need to pay the tax.”

Customer: “WHY?! YOU SAID FOUR! FOUR!“

Cashier: “It’s $4.99, plus the tax, so the total is $5.35.”

(This goes on for a minute, so I grab 35 cents from my pocket and hand it to the cashier. The cashier puts it into the till.)

Cashier: “It’s been paid for; you can leave now.”

Customer: *still shouting* “NO, YOU SAID FOUR! I am giving you this $5 and no more!”

Cashier: “Sir, the woman behind you paid the rest of it; you can take the magazine.”

(This surprisingly still goes on for another minute, as the customer either didn’t notice me paying for it or doesn’t believe the cashier.)

Cashier: *gives up* “Sir, please take the magazine and leave.”

Customer: *walks away, still grumbling*

Me: “You’re welcome, sir.”

(The customer ignored me and walked toward the door, still grumbling. I approached the counter, and the cashier and I shared a look that said, “Did that really happen?” As I paid for my items and turned to leave, the customer actually came back toward the counter, and I’m not sure what happened after that. That poor cashier. I hope the rest of his day went well.)

[florida80]

Taxing Faxing, Part 24

Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Pharmacy, USA, Virginia | Working | September 19, 2018


It’s the end of the day, and I need to fax a prescription into the pharmacy for a patient. I call the main phone and get transferred to the pharmacy line. After five minutes of loud, obnoxious music, I hang up and call again, choosing the regular line. I thought any person working there would know the fax.

The guy who answers sounds like Ted from Bill & Ted, and when I tell him I couldn’t get through to the pharmacy and ask for the fax, he immediately transfers me… to the pharmacy.

Another long wait.

I try the main number again, and Ted picks up again. I repeat my story, telling him not to put me through to the pharmacy, as no one is picking up. He hands me off to the manager standing there. I explain the situation again: I need the fax, waiting five minutes on hold, could I just get the info?

She says she’s going to run to the pharmacy and get it. Could I hang on a second? Sure! She transfers me to the pharmacy again. Really?

I call a third time and a very young woman answers. I explain my problem and she rattles off the fax number in a second. Should have taken a minute. Wish I’d called her first.

[florida80]

You Better Beer-lieve It!

Alabama, Awesome Workers, Criminal & Illegal, Pharmacy, USA | Legal | September 14, 2018


(I am 17, and a cashier at a big pharmacy store. I work at the front registers, while the pharmacy and pharmacy registers are in the back of the store, out of view. If people are purchasing items in the store and also picking up a prescription, then the pharmacy is allowed to ring up their purchases, as well, with the exception of alcohol. A man walks from the back of the store carrying two large cases of beer. I start to move away from the door and head to a register to ring him up; however, before I even make it two steps, I stop, as the guy is still walking straight towards me. Without thinking, I put out my hand and stop him; it seems to surprise him that a small girl would physically stop him, especially as he is more than twice my size. Instead of faltering or backing down, I stand firm.)

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but I have to get you to go over to the register to check you out before I can allow you to leave with that.”

Man: “Oh, don’t worry, little lady; I already paid for this in the pharmacy.”

Me: “Sir, if that is the case, then I do apologize, but I will need to look at your receipt just to verify. I hope you understand.”

Man: “Well, I don’t have my receipt; I told them they could keep it.”

(I’ve already broken one rule by physically touching the man, but I’m not going to break another by outright accusing him of theft.)

Me: “In that case, please let me walk back there with you so that we can clear this up with them. You see, it’s against store policy to ever ring up alcohol back at the pharmacy, so I really need to know who rang you up so that they can be dealt with appropriately. If you are still unwilling to do this, then I am going to have to ask you to either let me ring you up for a second time, or you can leave the beer here, but without actual proof of purchase I cannot allow you to leave the store with the beer.”

(The man just kind of looks at me for about twenty seconds and then glances over to my supervisor, who is still standing next to the door. However, she is in her 60s, and I’m sure this man could probably overpower both of us. Luckily, things end rather well. The man looks back at me and sits both cases of beer on the floor.)

Man: “All right, here you go. I’ll go ahead and leave now.”

(With that, the man actually just walks out of the store. After he is gone, my supervisor turns to me with the most shocked expression on her face, and I can feel my heart about to explode out of my chest.)

Me: “Oh, no. Did I actually just physically stop a man and then keep him from shoplifting?! I can’t believe that just happened.”

Supervisor: “Yeah, I’ve never seen something like that before, but please, next time, just let him walk out of the store. It’s not worth your life trying to stop someone from getting a couple of cases of beer. You never know if someone is crazy, or drunk, or just doesn’t care.”

[florida80]

Doesn’t Have A (Catho)Lick Of Charm

New Jersey, Pharmacy, Religion, USA | Right | September 10, 2018


(I work at the register at the pharmacy portion of a pharmacy chain.)

Customer: “So, what do you want to be when you grow up? A pharmacist?”

Me: *taken aback that my working at all isn’t good enough for her* “I’m not sure…”

Customer: “How old are you?”

Me: “23.”

Customer: *shakes her head* “The clock is ticking… Are you Catholic?”

Me: *eyes wide* “No. I’m not.”

Customer: “Well, if you were I would say for you to say ‘Holy Spirit, inspire me!’ And then you’d have your answer!” *takes prescription and leaves*

Me: *in utter state of disbelief*

Next Customer: “What the h*** was her problem?!”

[florida80]

Never Sausage An Unhealthy Thing Before

Australia, Coworkers, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Jerk, Pharmacy, Smithton, Tasmania | Friendly | September 4, 2018


One of my colleagues is a naturopath and health nut. She’s noticed that I have a certain fondness for hot chips/fries and often buy them for lunch, and she’s taken to telling me how unhealthy, fatty, salty, etc. they are, in a vain attempt to improve my diet.

One day, just for a change, I decide to buy a sausage roll for lunch. My colleague notices this and proceeds to lecture me on how much worse this is for me, because of how many carbs are in the pastry and how much fat is in the meat.

The next day I buy chips again. I show them to my colleague and tell her that I went with the healthier option.

The horrified and appalled look on her face was priceless, and was well worth the earful she gave me!

[florida80]

The Last Time The Medicine Was A Steal

Georgia, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | September 2, 2018


(I work in a retail pharmacy. One day a patient brings in a prescription for a blood pressure monitor. My coworker is taking prescriptions.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t fill this. We sell them over the counter but we can’t bill them to insurance.” *tries to hand it back*

Patient: *upset* “Yes, you can fill them. I had one filled here a few years ago.”

Coworker: “We have never been able to fill blood pressure monitors; our company isn’t authorized to dispense medical equipment.”

Patient: *angry* “Then it must have been before you started here, but I had one filled at this store!”

Coworker: *getting frustrated* “I have worked at this store since it opened eleven years ago, and have been in the pharmacy for seven years, and we have never dispensed blood pressure monitors.”

Patient: “Yes, you have! The first time I brought a prescription in, the pharmacist showed me where they were, handed me one, and I walked out with it!”

Coworker: *shocked* “If you walked out with it, then you just walked out with it.”

Patient: “I am not a thief! I have never stolen anything in my life!” *stomps off*

(She called corporate on my coworker for “calling her a thief,” but we had already sent an email to our district manager detailing the incident, so nothing came of it.)

[florida80]

Getting Into The Spirit Of This Parenting Thing

Children, England, Overheard, Pharmacy, UK, Upminster | Right | August 24, 2018


(I am at the pharmacy queuing at the checkout. A woman behind me is also queuing with what I presume are her grandchildren. They are screaming, asking for a DVD which said she no to. We go to separate checkouts at the same time, where I overhear this.)

Cashier: “Do you want bags with those?”

Women: “I want some alcohol. It’s the children’s school holiday.”

(It definitely made my being in a shop with screaming kids worth it.)

[florida80]

Time To Prescribe Some Patience

Jerk, Pharmacy, Strangers, USA | Friendly | August 19, 2018


(I have just left the doctor’s office and walked to the pharmacy to wait for a prescription to be sent over. The young girl at the register is on the phone, so I wait for her to acknowledge me.)

Cashier: “I’ll be right with you.”

Me: “Okay, thank you.”

(A few minutes pass.)

Cashier: “Okay, picking up?”

Me: “Yes, it was just sent over from [Doctor]. Last name, [Last name]. Born [birthday].”

Cashier: “Hmm, doesn’t look like it’s here yet. You can have a seat and wait, if you’d like.”

Me: “I’ll do that. Thank you.”

(I take a seat and begin scrolling through Facebook while I wait. The phone rings again. A woman comes in and goes right to the register.)

Cashier: “I’ll be right with you, ma’am.”

Woman: “I just left [Doctor], and she sent a medicine order over for me.”

Cashier: *nods, covers phone receiver* “Just a moment.”

Woman: “It’s under [Woman].”

Cashier: *nods, holds up one finger* “As soon as I’m done on the phone, ma’am.”

Woman: “It should be ready.”

Cashier: *nods*

Woman: “Ugh.” *turns to me* “Can you believe this service?”

Me: “I can.”

Woman: “What?”

Me: “Well, she’s clearly busy, and you were told many times that she would be with you after her phone call.”

Woman: “Why don’t you mind your own business?”

Me: “You asked.”

Woman: “The youth of today are so disrespectful! If you were my daughter, I’d have you over my knee for talking to me like that!”

Me: “Guess I’m lucky you’re irrelevant.”

Woman: “How dare you?!”

(I return to my Facebook browsing. The woman sits directly beside me, continuing her rant about disrespectful youth and poor customer service. The cashier hangs up and takes the woman’s information. Of course, it isn’t ready. She resumes her rant, pacing in front of the register.)

Cashier: “[My Name], your order is ready.”

Woman: “Where is mine?”

Cashier: “I’ll let you know as soon as yours is ready.”

Woman: “I’ve half a mind to take my business elsewhere!”

Me: “Don’t use it all in one place.”

Cashier: *trying to keep a straight face* “No copay, [My Name]. Have a good day.”

[florida80]

Some Sick Mannerisms

Australia, Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Melbourne, Pharmacy, Victoria | Right | August 14, 2018


(I’m working the front register at a large pharmacy when a woman comes up from the pharmacist’s desk with her items. She looks like a zombie with bleary, watering eyes and a red nose. I try to speak gently.)

Me: “Hello there.”

Customer: *clearly super congested* “Ngehh.”

(She dumps painkillers, nasal decongestants, cough medicine, and an inhaler on the counter, and then sniffles and gives me a glum look.)

Me: “Not feeling well today? I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Mrrr..”

Me: “Hopefully some of these will help you feel better!”

Customer: *coughs and whimpers*

(She pays, and then picks up and cuddles the bag of medicine.)

Customer: *sniffle* “Egh.” *sniffle* “Ehh… thangks. Have a dice day.”

Coworker: *to me* “Wow. So, her manners were the only thing not broken? What a nice change.”

[florida80]

Misunderstanding Of A Dollar-Printing Factory

Crazy Requests, Money, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, Pittsburgh, USA | Right | August 14, 2018


(I am working a morning shift behind my register when a disheveled man walks in and approaches the counter. He mumbles and slurs his words together when he talks, making him very difficult to understand.)

Customer: “I need a—” *incomprehensible*

Me: “Sorry, what was that?”

Customer: “I said I need a dollar!”

Me: *thinking he needs to exchange some bills or coins* “Okay, what do you have on you? And how would you like that?”

Customer: “Nooo, I need a dollar.”

Me: *now thinking he might need cash back* “Okay, you just have you buy something small, like a pack of gum or something. I can’t give out money directly from the register.”

Customer: *growing more frustrated* “NO! You see, I have four dollars. And I need five dollars. So, I need a dollar.”

Me: “Sir, I can’t just give out money from the register.”

Customer: *stares at me with a mixture of anger and confusion*

Me: “I can give you cash back or exchange money, but I can’t just give you a dollar. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “I can’t give you money out of my register.”

Customer: *stares at me again and finally leaves*

(I’m not sure why that dollar was so important, or why it’s so hard to understand that stores don’t just give money out to people who ask.)

[florida80]

Prescribe Some Common Sense And Anger Management

Extra Stupid, Jerk, Non-Dialogue, Pharmacy, USA, Vermont | Working | August 13, 2018


I work in a pharmacy and we have the store divided into sections: Front Store and Pharmacy. When you give us a call, the prompts will tell you to press one number to talk to Pharmacy, and to press another number for general store questions.

I have just finished helping a customer find an item, and my coworker is on break, which means that I’m all alone up front, and that’s when I get a line of customers and the phone starts ringing.

I pick up the phone while one customer is paying and ask if it’s all right if I put them on hold for a moment. The customer yells, “No, you cannot! I’ve been waiting twenty minutes for my prescription and that is unacceptable!”

The woman tries to keep ranting at me, but I firmly interrupt her to tell her that she’s called the front part of the store and that I’ll have to transfer her to the Pharmacy.

Later, I catch one of the Pharmacy techs and apologize for sending the irate customer their way. The tech looks at me and laughs, and tells me that the woman on the phone wasn’t even in our system, and that her friend who dropped off her prescription dropped it off at another pharmacy altogether.

So, not only did that woman reach the wrong part of the store, but also she didn’t even get the right store!

[florida80]

Prescribing You The Ability To Listen

Jerk, Minnesota, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | August 9, 2018


(It’s Memorial Day, and my pharmacy is one of the few within a 20-mile radius that is open. My coworker is on break and I am managing the front of the pharmacy.)

Me: “Hi, sir, how I can help you today?”

Customer: “I’m here to pick up two prescriptions for [Customer].”

Me: “All right, sir, it looks like I have one prescription ready for you, but the other prescription — your [Prescription] — we’re still waiting to hear back from your doctor for more refills.”

Customer: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THEY’RE NOT DONE?!”

Me: “There is one prescription done and ready for you to pick up, sir. The other prescription you requested, your [Prescription], isn’t, because we haven’t heard back from your doctor yet.”

Customer: “I HATE THIS PLACE! YOU GUYS NEVER HAVE ANYTHING DONE! I BROUGHT TWO PRESCRIPTIONS IN ON FRIDAY, AND YOU’RE TELLING ME THEY’RE STILL NOT DONE?!”

Me: “Sir, I have one prescription ready for you right now.” *pause* “The other one is still waiting on your doctor for approval, and since it’s Memorial Day, we may not hear back from your doctor until tomorrow.”

Customer: “You guys are horrible! You never have anything done for me! I hate it here!” *walks off*

(After he walked away, I looked back at the screen to see when he brought in the prescriptions. And turns out, he brought them in yesterday, not Friday. But either way, we still had one he could have taken home with him.)

[florida80]

Clearly They Need Drugs

Crazy Requests, New York, Pharmacy, Staten Island, USA | Right | August 2, 2018


(A customer comes up through my pharmacy drive-thru and hands me a script for Oxycontin, 30mg, which we do not carry.)

Customer: “I’d like to fill this script here.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t carry this particular medication.”

Customer: “But I want it.”

Me: “We don’t carry this, though. There’s a pharmacy a few blocks from here that does carry this; have you tried filling there?”

Customer: “I don’t want to fill it there. I want it here. You know what? I’m not going to argue with you morons. I’ll come back in an hour to pick it up.”

(I have had no chance to verify any information for this patient — no date of birth, no phone number. The patient comes back in about twenty minutes:)

Customer: “Is it ready yet?”

Me: “No, and we don’t carry this medication.”

Customer: “But I want it now! You had a whole hour to figure it out! Let me speak to your manager!”

(I bring my manager over, and she tells him the exact same thing.)

Customer: “Oh, really? I didn’t know that. Maybe your employee should have told me that before wasting my time.”

[florida80]

No Spoonful Of Sugar Is Helping This Medicine Go Down

Bad Behavior, Florida, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, USA |
Healthy | July 31, 2018

(When you come to pick up a prescription, I have to make sure it’s going to the right person or I get written up and, if I get written up enough times, lose my job. This particular pharmacy asks that we verify the address on file, but if they don’t know it, I’ll usually take some other manner of verification if necessary. It’s late, and there’s an hour and a half left to go of a seven-hour day, and all I want to do is go home, so I admit I’m a bit tired. A guy comes up who couldn’t be more than 22, I’d guess, and I smile and go to the register, asking him who he’s picking up for.)

Guy: “My girlfriend.”

Me: “Okay. What’s her name?”

Guy: “[First Name].”

(I need a last name in particular to search, and unfortunately most of the younger crowd usually never give their last name unless prompted. I have no idea why.)

Me: “What’s her last name?”

Guy: “[Last Name].”

(I go over to get it, which doesn’t take long, and return.)

Me: “And what’s her address, please?”

(He gives me this look like I’ve told him that the sky is green or that he’s standing on his head.)

Guy: “I’ve picked up before and they’ve never, ever asked me for her address before.”

(Then he clearly hasn’t picked up for her before at this pharmacy, because we always ask for the address. I say it so often that even when I’m doing things that don’t require it, I sometimes end up saying the words. Sometimes I end up asking them their address before I ask their name, before I can stop myself.)

Me: “Um… We always ask for the address.”

Guy: “No one has ever asked me before!”

Me: “Well, sometimes if you don’t know it, we’ll try another way to verify. Do you know it?”

Guy: “No!”

Me: “Okay, what’s her date of birth?”

(That, he knows. He tells that to me and I’m assured that I have the right person. A new law was passed in July that on certain types and classes of medicines, I now have to ask for a form of ID and enter it into the computer. What he’s picking up falls into that class.)

Me: “I need to see your ID, please.”

Guy: “Why?”

Me: “It’s the law as of the first of July. I have to have an ID.”

Guy: “Does that mean I have to get hers from the car?”

Me: “No, I need yours, since you’re picking it up.”

Guy: “But… does that mean I have to get hers?”

Me: “Um… No. I need yours.”

Guy: “I don’t have mine.”

Me: “Then she has to come in and pick it up.”

Guy: “Why can’t I just go get hers and give it to you?”

(Now I can understand his hesitancy. There’s a big storm that has been going on all day, but neither weather nor annoying teenagers are going to make me break the law.)

Me: “Because it’s her license. Whatever license I have has to be for the person picking up. It’s the law.”

(We go back and forth about this for another minute, to the point that my pharmacist has to come over and back me up, telling him that we have to follow all rules and regulations, and if it’s her license, it has be her. He finally goes out to get her and comes back in. I think this is a wonderful opportunity to do my job right now that she’s here.)

Me: “What’s your address?”

Girl: *throws her ID on the counter* “On file.”

Me: *blink*

(I’ve never had a customer refuse to give their address. Sometimes they’ll pretend to give me a hard time or forget some of the numbers, but I’ve never had someone give me a smart a** remark about it being “on file,” because most have the intelligence to realize that there’s a reason I’m asking for it and it’s most certainly not to hear myself talk. I want to keep my job.)

Me: “I’m sorry; we ask that for verification. If you don’t know yo—”

Girl: *interrupts snottily* “I know my address. It’s [address].”

(She picked up her license from the counter and proceeded to throw it again. I decided I’d had enough of dealing with the twat that was clearly just too lazy to come in and sent her boyfriend in for her, since I could see no legitimate reason for her not to come in besides the rain. And part of me wanted a little bit of revenge for these people half my age giving me a hard time, so I took my time, every bit of it that I could, prolonging the transaction just because they were antsy. As they left, she shot me a glare, snatched up her prescription, and then went to the industrial scale nearby that people use to measure weight and proceeded to jump up and down on it once or twice before leaving.)

[florida80]

This Policy Has Gone To The Dogs

Canada, Employees, Grocery Store, Jerk, Ontario, Pets & Animals, Pharmacy, Revolting | Working | July 31, 2018


(I’m at common, nationwide pharmacy and grocery store when I see a woman walking a small dog down one of the aisles. While the woman is distracted, I watch the dog pee on a shelf filled with cereal boxes. The woman never seems to notice, so as I am heading to the cash, anyway, I decide to tell the cashiers about the dog. There are two cashiers and a supervisor at the front when I get up there.)

Me: “Hi, do you guys know you have a lady in here walking around with a dog?”

Supervisor: “Yeah, it’s fine.”

Me: “Really? So, I can bring my dog in with me next time?”

(Pointing at my dog sitting outside the glass window watching for me.)

Supervisor: “Ah, no. She’s just a friend, so it’s okay.”

Me: “Not really. Your company policy says no dogs except service dogs, so I should be allowed to bring my dog in if that woman can; it’s clearly not a service dog.”

Supervisor: “No, but it’s a really good dog! So, it’s okay for her, but uh, your dog can’t come in. “

(I see nothing wrong with dogs in stores as long as the owners are responsible, clean up if there’s an accident, and carefully watch them. I also have this view of parents with kids. My dog loves her pet store and hardware store walking trips, but this attitude annoyed me. Guess what I didn’t tell them?)

[florida80]

Trying To Pay With A Photo Finish

Extra Stupid, Lebanon, Math & Science, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, USA | Right | July 30, 2018


Customer: “Excuse me, can you help me with this photo machine?”

Me: “Yes, what’s the problem?”

Customer: “It printed all of my photos, but it’s telling me to bring the receipt to the counter, and it’s not printing a receipt.”

(Our kiosk’s receipt printer hasn’t worked in years, so we frequently have to give this explanation.)

Me: “The summary it printed after the last photo is what we use. It tells you how many pictures were in the order, and we can figure the price out from that.”

Customer: “But I don’t know how much photos cost!”

Me: “Well, they’re 29 cents each, and it says here there were 13 photos, so with that—”

Customer: “But it doesn’t tell me how much it’ll cost, or how many photos there are!”

(She begins counting the photos by hand, so I grab the calculator and work out the cost.)

Customer: “…twelve, thirteen. Now to get the cost. Thirteen times 29 cents…”

Me: “It’ll be $3.77 before tax, ma’am.”

(The customer ignores me and continues to write out the multiplication.)

Customer: “Okay, it’s $3.77! By the way, you don’t sell photo postcards here, do you? Or any of the stores in this square?”

Me: “I’m afraid we don’t; if anyone here does, it would probably be [Other Store], so I’d check there first.”

Customer: “Thank you. I’ll do that!”

(The customer immediately turns from the counter and starts toward the exit.)

Me: “Ma’am, you need to— Ma’am, you need to pay for those!”

Customer: “I did!”

Me: “No… you didn’t.”

Customer: “I paid it right over there, you can check my balance and see!”

(Fearful that she might have tried jamming her card into a slot on the kiosk, I rush around… only to find her pointing at the ATM next to it.)

Customer: “I slid it right here, and it says here you can check my balance to see.”

Me: “This is the store’s ATM, not part of the photo machine.”

Customer: “Well, can I check my balance?”

Me: “Uh… Yes?”

(With another customer waiting, I leave to ring them up while keeping the first customer in earshot while she uses the ATM.)

Customer: “It wants a PIN? It’s never asked for that before!”

(I finish checking the second customer out, right as the first customer walks back up to the counter.)

Customer: “Since when does it want a PIN for anything? Anyway, I guess I’ll trust that I still need to pay for these. But I’m using cash this time, not a card!”

Me: “All right, after tax, that’ll be four dollars even!”

(The customer pulls out a small wad of bills with a twenty and three ones visible. She returns to her purse, and I assume she’s getting a fourth dollar bill.)

Customer: “Feels like it’s been forever since I paid with cash!”

(She does pull out another wad of cash with another dollar bill, only to drop it and continue digging for two more handfuls. By the time she stops, I can see a five, a ten, a twenty, and far more ones than needed to pay for the pictures.)

Me: “Ma’am, you… have enough to pay for this…”

(Paying no attention to me, she begins straightening out some of the ones, the five, and the twenty. After she’s stacked twelve of them up, she sighs and slides me the ten.)

Customer: “Oh, just take it out of the ten, then.”

Me: “Um… Okay… And six dollars is your change!”

Customer: “Whew, never a dull moment, is there?”

Me: “Nope!”

[florida80]

Mathamedical

Employees, Florida, Jerk, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | April 9, 2019


(I take 150 mg of a seizure medication per day. It does not come in 150 mg tablets, though, so my doctor has written two prescriptions for it, one for 50 mg and one for 100 mg. I’ve been taking this dosage for over two years. I’ve used the same pharmacy the entire time. This happens one day when I go to pick up my prescription.)

Me: “Hello, I’m here to pick up my prescription.” *gives information*

New Tech: “Oh, that’s weird; I actually have two here for you. Do you take the 50- or 100-mg dose?”

Me: “I take both. My prescription is for 150 mg, and that’s the only way it can be filled.”

New Tech: “That’s not right! You can only take one or the other, not both.”

Me: “I assure you it’s correct. If you look at my records, you’ll see that the same prescription has been filled for over two years. I know most people either take one or the other, but it’s a seizure medication, so the dose can actually go up to 400 mg based on symptoms and therapeutic levels.”

(The tech continues to argue with me that I can only get one or the other because most people take either 50 mg or 100 mg, not 150 mg. I ask her to get the pharmacist. The tech goes over and tells him what’s going on. He looks up, see who it is, waves, and tells her that yes, it’s correct. She starts arguing with him that it cannot be correct. He just takes my prescription from her, walks over, and checks me out himself.)

Pharmacist: “Sorry about that. Here your prescription. I’ve added a note to your account just in case this is a problem at any point in the future.”

(The next time I came in, another new tech questioned me on which prescription I took of two again. I told her both. She told me to hold on, as there was a note on my account. She started laughing. The note read, “Don’t argue with her; the prescription is correct. Yes, it’s really both. If you’ve got a problem with it, come see me to sign off

[florida80]

Don’t Go (Down) There

Extra Stupid, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | October 14, 2018


(I stop by my local pharmacy to pick up my prescription of birth control pills and to talk to my buddy who is a pharmacist. I notice on the package it says, “To be taken orally.” I point it out to my friend.)

Me: *with a laugh* “Well, what idiot doesn’t know that?”

(My buddy’s eyes grow big and she says:)

Buddy: “Oh, no. You would be surprised! The reason that is now on there is we actually had a woman sue us because she claimed we didn’t properly instruct her on how the pills had to be taken orally, and she got pregnant.”

Me: “Well, then, how the heck did she use them? Where did she put them?”

(Then, it dawns on me where she must have put the pills.)

Me: “Ohhhh, never mind. I didn’t ask

[florida80]

Prescribing Them Some Anti-Mean Pills

Awesome Customers, Connecticut, Jerk, Pharmacy, USA | Right | October 8, 2018


(I work at a pharmacy as a technician. We have the ability to request certain prescription refills for patients at the doctor’s discretion. Notes appear on a patient’s profile when we make requests, giving us the status of the request — waiting for response, denied, or approved. It usually takes two or three days to hear back from a doctor, so we generally make the requests within a week or two of when the patient will be out of medication to avoid issues with insurance companies filling too soon. It is about nine in the morning on a weekday when a middle-aged man walks up to the pickup counter:)

Me: “Hi. Welcome to [Pharmacy]. How can I help?”

Customer #1: “I’m here to pick up a prescription.”

(I take his name and birthdate to pull up his profile. There are no prescriptions ready, but there is a note that we’ve sent a request to a doctor for a refill.)

Me: “It appears that you don’t have any prescriptions ready, sir, but we did send out a request to your doctor for a refill of [Prescription].”

Customer #1: “Yes, I know that. I was here yesterday and you guys told me the exact same thing. I have to drive a long way to get here. Why isn’t it ready yet?”

Me: “Well, it often takes a couple of days for a doctor to respond. Are you out of medication?”

(Occasionally, we will give patients a few extra pills if we’re having issues reaching the doctor, and they’re entirely out of medication. The customer gets angrier.)

Customer #1: “Why hasn’t it been filled yet? He always responds quickly! Haven’t you checked your messages yet? What kind of place is this?”

(At nine in the morning, not all doctor’s offices in our area are even OPEN, let alone writing prescriptions. We usually recommend calling in the afternoon to hear back from doctors.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the doctor still hasn’t sent us the refills yet. If you really need the medication, you can try calling the doctor’s office, as well.”

(This sometimes does help to speed up a doctor’s refills and authorizations, and we reach out to the patient to tell them if we don’t hear back in three days of a request to recommend getting in touch with the doctor. This also causes a note on a profile, which is not on this customer’s profile.)

Customer #1: “Why do I need to call the doctor when that’s clearly your job?”

(At this point I’m shocked speechless in anger. It takes me a few seconds to recover.)

Me: “You could also call us to make sure we have the prescription before coming.”

Customer #1: “You people never pick up the phone! I always end up on hold when I call.”

(The customer walks away, muttering about how we never have the prescriptions ready and don’t know what we’re doing. The customer behind him, who was waiting for her prescriptions to be refilled, has heard the whole exchange, and is equally as shocked at this guy.)

Customer #2: “Wow… I don’t know how you can put up with someone like that; I couldn’t handle being yelled at by someone with an attitude.”

Me: “Unfortunately, that’s not the worst of it. Sometimes they’re even meaner.”

Customer #2: “I’m sorry. I hope you don’t have any more like him today.”

(She was very polite throughout the rest of the exchange, and whatever upset I was feeling at the first customer was erased by her. She made my day. Whoever you are, thank you; I needed it.)

[florida80]

Wish You Could Take The Blue Pill And Forget

Cedar Rapids, Ignoring & Inattentive, Iowa, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | October 8, 2018


(I’m a Certified Pharmacy Technician at a midwest grocery and pharmacy chain. I’m not exaggerating when I say I get far too many of these calls EVERY DAY.)

Me: *answers phone with usual friendly attitude* “This is [My Name] at [Pharmacy]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “I need a refill on my prescriptions.”

Me: *pulls up profile after asking for name and birthdate* “Okay, which ones did you need refilled today?”

Customer: “Oh… I don’t know the names.” *describing various pills*

Me: *sighs and facepalms* “Right, let me get you on with the pharmacist.”

(Long story short, folks: you, as the customer, are personally responsible for knowing exactly what goes into your body and what prescriptions need to be refilled. WE DON’T HAVE ALL DRUGS MEMORIZED JUST BY HOW THEY APPEAR IN OUR HEADS!)

[florida80]

Unfiltered Story #122275

Pharmacy, Texas, USA | Unfiltered | October 2, 2018


Note: I’m a customer in a long line at [national pharmacy chain], they are obviously very busy for this time of night. I have a basket of stuff to purchase and pick up a prescription. I was a waiter for 3 years.
Technician: Just want to make sure you know your Rx discount card has expired.
Customer #1 (flipping out): What?! That’s ridiculous, how come no one told me? What do I need to do to renew?!
Technician: Just pay the $9 fee.
Customer #1: Oh, OK. (walks away like nothing happened)
Customer #2 (dramatically): I came from another pharmacy that closes at 10 and I need to fill this nooooow!
Technician (calmly): We close at 10 too, and will not have time to fill this tonight.
Customer #2 (oblivious to the long line): But, Whyyyyy not?
Technician: Because we are very busy. The nearest 24-hour [pharmacy chain] is located at [address].
Customer #2: *Walks away in a huff*
Customer #3: Why isn’t my prescription ready?!
Technician (somehow still calm, despite this line of rude people): Because of *unintelligible*, but let me look… Ah, I’ve fixed it and your prescription will be ready in a few minutes.
Customer #3: Oh, OK. (Steps away, but lingers nearby creepily).
Me: I need to pick up [prescription], but I can check-out up front since you’re so busy.
Technician (loudly enough for lingering customer #3 to overhear): Oh, I’ll check you out. I don’t mind at all. We all talk about how you and your wife are always nice when you come in.
Me: If you’re sure… You catch more flies with honey you know!
Technician: Of course, no problem.
Pharmacist: Hey Mr. [my name], how’s the wife?
See d-bags of the world, being a jerk for no reason doesn’t get you anywhere. Being nice to service workers is a win-win for everybody!

[florida80]

In The Sun But Not Very Bright

Canada, Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Ontario, Patients, Pharmacy | Healthy | October 1, 2018


(I’m a pharmacist. I’m counselling a client on how to apply the rosacea cream his doctor has prescribed for him.)

Me: “…and remember, even if you use this regularly, the most important way to prevent rosacea flares is to stay out of the sun.”

Patient: “I’m in the sun all the time!”

Me: “May I suggest sunscreen?”

Patient: “Oh, no, I don’t wear sunscreen. I don’t want to put chemicals on my face.”

(I looked at the box of expensive prescription face chemicals and died a little inside.)

[florida80]

Taxing Faxing, Part 24

Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Pharmacy, USA, Virginia | Working | September 19, 2018


It’s the end of the day, and I need to fax a prescription into the pharmacy for a patient. I call the main phone and get transferred to the pharmacy line. After five minutes of loud, obnoxious music, I hang up and call again, choosing the regular line. I thought any person working there would know the fax.

The guy who answers sounds like Ted from Bill & Ted, and when I tell him I couldn’t get through to the pharmacy and ask for the fax, he immediately transfers me… to the pharmacy.

Another long wait.

I try the main number again, and Ted picks up again. I repeat my story, telling him not to put me through to the pharmacy, as no one is picking up. He hands me off to the manager standing there. I explain the situation again: I need the fax, waiting five minutes on hold, could I just get the info?

She says she’s going to run to the pharmacy and get it. Could I hang on a second? Sure! She transfers me to the pharmacy again. Really?

I call a third time and a very young woman answers. I explain my problem and she rattles off the fax number in a second. Should have taken a minute. Wish I’d called her first.

Related:
Taxing Faxing, Part 23
Taxing Faxing, Part 22
Taxing Faxing, Part 2017

[florida80]

You Better Beer-lieve It!

Alabama, Awesome Workers, Criminal & Illegal, Pharmacy, USA | Legal | September 14, 2018


(I am 17, and a cashier at a big pharmacy store. I work at the front registers, while the pharmacy and pharmacy registers are in the back of the store, out of view. If people are purchasing items in the store and also picking up a prescription, then the pharmacy is allowed to ring up their purchases, as well, with the exception of alcohol. A man walks from the back of the store carrying two large cases of beer. I start to move away from the door and head to a register to ring him up; however, before I even make it two steps, I stop, as the guy is still walking straight towards me. Without thinking, I put out my hand and stop him; it seems to surprise him that a small girl would physically stop him, especially as he is more than twice my size. Instead of faltering or backing down, I stand firm.)

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but I have to get you to go over to the register to check you out before I can allow you to leave with that.”

Man: “Oh, don’t worry, little lady; I already paid for this in the pharmacy.”

Me: “Sir, if that is the case, then I do apologize, but I will need to look at your receipt just to verify. I hope you understand.”

Man: “Well, I don’t have my receipt; I told them they could keep it.”

(I’ve already broken one rule by physically touching the man, but I’m not going to break another by outright accusing him of theft.)

Me: “In that case, please let me walk back there with you so that we can clear this up with them. You see, it’s against store policy to ever ring up alcohol back at the pharmacy, so I really need to know who rang you up so that they can be dealt with appropriately. If you are still unwilling to do this, then I am going to have to ask you to either let me ring you up for a second time, or you can leave the beer here, but without actual proof of purchase I cannot allow you to leave the store with the beer.”

(The man just kind of looks at me for about twenty seconds and then glances over to my supervisor, who is still standing next to the door. However, she is in her 60s, and I’m sure this man could probably overpower both of us. Luckily, things end rather well. The man looks back at me and sits both cases of beer on the floor.)

Man: “All right, here you go. I’ll go ahead and leave now.”

(With that, the man actually just walks out of the store. After he is gone, my supervisor turns to me with the most shocked expression on her face, and I can feel my heart about to explode out of my chest.)

Me: “Oh, no. Did I actually just physically stop a man and then keep him from shoplifting?! I can’t believe that just happened.”

Supervisor: “Yeah, I’ve never seen something like that before, but please, next time, just let him walk out of the store. It’s not worth your life trying to stop someone from getting a couple of cases of beer. You never know if someone is crazy, or drunk, or just doesn’t care.”

[florida80]

Doesn’t Have A (Catho)Lick Of Charm

New Jersey, Pharmacy, Religion, USA | Right | September 10, 2018


(I work at the register at the pharmacy portion of a pharmacy chain.)

Customer: “So, what do you want to be when you grow up? A pharmacist?”

Me: *taken aback that my working at all isn’t good enough for her* “I’m not sure…”

Customer: “How old are you?”

Me: “23.”

Customer: *shakes her head* “The clock is ticking… Are you Catholic?”

Me: *eyes wide* “No. I’m not.”

Customer: “Well, if you were I would say for you to say ‘Holy Spirit, inspire me!’ And then you’d have your answer!” *takes prescription and leaves*

Me: *in utter state of disbelief*

Next Customer: “What the h*** was her problem?!”

[florida80]

Never Sausage An Unhealthy Thing Before

Australia, Coworkers, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Jerk, Pharmacy, Smithton, Tasmania | Friendly | September 4, 2018


One of my colleagues is a naturopath and health nut. She’s noticed that I have a certain fondness for hot chips/fries and often buy them for lunch, and she’s taken to telling me how unhealthy, fatty, salty, etc. they are, in a vain attempt to improve my diet.

One day, just for a change, I decide to buy a sausage roll for lunch. My colleague notices this and proceeds to lecture me on how much worse this is for me, because of how many carbs are in the pastry and how much fat is in the meat.

The next day I buy chips again. I show them to my colleague and tell her that I went with the healthier option.

The horrified and appalled look on her face was priceless, and was well worth the earful she gave me!

[florida80]

The Last Time The Medicine Was A Steal

Georgia, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | September 2, 2018


(I work in a retail pharmacy. One day a patient brings in a prescription for a blood pressure monitor. My coworker is taking prescriptions.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t fill this. We sell them over the counter but we can’t bill them to insurance.” *tries to hand it back*

Patient: *upset* “Yes, you can fill them. I had one filled here a few years ago.”

Coworker: “We have never been able to fill blood pressure monitors; our company isn’t authorized to dispense medical equipment.”

Patient: *angry* “Then it must have been before you started here, but I had one filled at this store!”

Coworker: *getting frustrated* “I have worked at this store since it opened eleven years ago, and have been in the pharmacy for seven years, and we have never dispensed blood pressure monitors.”

Patient: “Yes, you have! The first time I brought a prescription in, the pharmacist showed me where they were, handed me one, and I walked out with it!”

Coworker: *shocked* “If you walked out with it, then you just walked out with it.”

Patient: “I am not a thief! I have never stolen anything in my life!” *stomps off*

(She called corporate on my coworker for “calling her a thief,” but we had already sent an email to our district manager detailing the incident, so nothing came of it.)



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Getting Into The Spirit Of This Parenting Thing

Children, England, Overheard, Pharmacy, UK, Upminster | Right | August 24, 2018


(I am at the pharmacy queuing at the checkout. A woman behind me is also queuing with what I presume are her grandchildren. They are screaming, asking for a DVD which said she no to. We go to separate checkouts at the same time, where I overhear this.)

Cashier: “Do you want bags with those?”

Women: “I want some alcohol. It’s the children’s school holiday.”

(It definitely made my being in a shop with screaming kids worth it.)

[florida80]

Time To Prescribe Some Patience

Jerk, Pharmacy, Strangers, USA | Friendly | August 19, 2018


(I have just left the doctor’s office and walked to the pharmacy to wait for a prescription to be sent over. The young girl at the register is on the phone, so I wait for her to acknowledge me.)

Cashier: “I’ll be right with you.”

Me: “Okay, thank you.”

(A few minutes pass.)

Cashier: “Okay, picking up?”

Me: “Yes, it was just sent over from [Doctor]. Last name, [Last name]. Born [birthday].”

Cashier: “Hmm, doesn’t look like it’s here yet. You can have a seat and wait, if you’d like.”

Me: “I’ll do that. Thank you.”

(I take a seat and begin scrolling through Facebook while I wait. The phone rings again. A woman comes in and goes right to the register.)

Cashier: “I’ll be right with you, ma’am.”

Woman: “I just left [Doctor], and she sent a medicine order over for me.”

Cashier: *nods, covers phone receiver* “Just a moment.”

Woman: “It’s under [Woman].”

Cashier: *nods, holds up one finger* “As soon as I’m done on the phone, ma’am.”

Woman: “It should be ready.”

Cashier: *nods*

Woman: “Ugh.” *turns to me* “Can you believe this service?”

Me: “I can.”

Woman: “What?”

Me: “Well, she’s clearly busy, and you were told many times that she would be with you after her phone call.”

Woman: “Why don’t you mind your own business?”

Me: “You asked.”

Woman: “The youth of today are so disrespectful! If you were my daughter, I’d have you over my knee for talking to me like that!”

Me: “Guess I’m lucky you’re irrelevant.”

Woman: “How dare you?!”

(I return to my Facebook browsing. The woman sits directly beside me, continuing her rant about disrespectful youth and poor customer service. The cashier hangs up and takes the woman’s information. Of course, it isn’t ready. She resumes her rant, pacing in front of the register.)

Cashier: “[My Name], your order is ready.”

Woman: “Where is mine?”

Cashier: “I’ll let you know as soon as yours is ready.”

Woman: “I’ve half a mind to take my business elsewhere!”

Me: “Don’t use it all in one place.”

Cashier: *trying to keep a straight face* “No copay, [My Name]. Have a good day.”

[florida80]

Some Sick Mannerisms

Australia, Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Melbourne, Pharmacy, Victoria | Right | August 14, 2018


(I’m working the front register at a large pharmacy when a woman comes up from the pharmacist’s desk with her items. She looks like a zombie with bleary, watering eyes and a red nose. I try to speak gently.)

Me: “Hello there.”

Customer: *clearly super congested* “Ngehh.”

(She dumps painkillers, nasal decongestants, cough medicine, and an inhaler on the counter, and then sniffles and gives me a glum look.)

Me: “Not feeling well today? I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Mrrr..”

Me: “Hopefully some of these will help you feel better!”

Customer: *coughs and whimpers*

(She pays, and then picks up and cuddles the bag of medicine.)

Customer: *sniffle* “Egh.” *sniffle* “Ehh… thangks. Have a dice day.”

Coworker: *to me* “Wow. So, her manners were the only thing not broken? What a nice change.”

[florida80]

Misunderstanding Of A Dollar-Printing Factory

Crazy Requests, Money, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, Pittsburgh, USA | Right | August 14, 2018


(I am working a morning shift behind my register when a disheveled man walks in and approaches the counter. He mumbles and slurs his words together when he talks, making him very difficult to understand.)

Customer: “I need a—” *incomprehensible*

Me: “Sorry, what was that?”

Customer: “I said I need a dollar!”

Me: *thinking he needs to exchange some bills or coins* “Okay, what do you have on you? And how would you like that?”

Customer: “Nooo, I need a dollar.”

Me: *now thinking he might need cash back* “Okay, you just have you buy something small, like a pack of gum or something. I can’t give out money directly from the register.”

Customer: *growing more frustrated* “NO! You see, I have four dollars. And I need five dollars. So, I need a dollar.”

Me: “Sir, I can’t just give out money from the register.”

Customer: *stares at me with a mixture of anger and confusion*

Me: “I can give you cash back or exchange money, but I can’t just give you a dollar. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “I can’t give you money out of my register.”

Customer: *stares at me again and finally leaves*

(I’m not sure why that dollar was so important, or why it’s so hard to understand that stores don’t just give money out to people who ask.)

[florida80]

Prescribe Some Common Sense And Anger Management

Extra Stupid, Jerk, Non-Dialogue, Pharmacy, USA, Vermont | Working | August 13, 2018


I work in a pharmacy and we have the store divided into sections: Front Store and Pharmacy. When you give us a call, the prompts will tell you to press one number to talk to Pharmacy, and to press another number for general store questions.

I have just finished helping a customer find an item, and my coworker is on break, which means that I’m all alone up front, and that’s when I get a line of customers and the phone starts ringing.

I pick up the phone while one customer is paying and ask if it’s all right if I put them on hold for a moment. The customer yells, “No, you cannot! I’ve been waiting twenty minutes for my prescription and that is unacceptable!”

The woman tries to keep ranting at me, but I firmly interrupt her to tell her that she’s called the front part of the store and that I’ll have to transfer her to the Pharmacy.

Later, I catch one of the Pharmacy techs and apologize for sending the irate customer their way. The tech looks at me and laughs, and tells me that the woman on the phone wasn’t even in our system, and that her friend who dropped off her prescription dropped it off at another pharmacy altogether.

So, not only did that woman reach the wrong part of the store, but also she didn’t even get the right store!

[florida80]

Prescribing You The Ability To Listen

Jerk, Minnesota, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | August 9, 2018


(It’s Memorial Day, and my pharmacy is one of the few within a 20-mile radius that is open. My coworker is on break and I am managing the front of the pharmacy.)

Me: “Hi, sir, how I can help you today?”

Customer: “I’m here to pick up two prescriptions for [Customer].”

Me: “All right, sir, it looks like I have one prescription ready for you, but the other prescription — your [Prescription] — we’re still waiting to hear back from your doctor for more refills.”

Customer: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THEY’RE NOT DONE?!”

Me: “There is one prescription done and ready for you to pick up, sir. The other prescription you requested, your [Prescription], isn’t, because we haven’t heard back from your doctor yet.”

Customer: “I HATE THIS PLACE! YOU GUYS NEVER HAVE ANYTHING DONE! I BROUGHT TWO PRESCRIPTIONS IN ON FRIDAY, AND YOU’RE TELLING ME THEY’RE STILL NOT DONE?!”

Me: “Sir, I have one prescription ready for you right now.” *pause* “The other one is still waiting on your doctor for approval, and since it’s Memorial Day, we may not hear back from your doctor until tomorrow.”

Customer: “You guys are horrible! You never have anything done for me! I hate it here!” *walks off*

(After he walked away, I looked back at the screen to see when he brought in the prescriptions. And turns out, he brought them in yesterday, not Friday. But either way, we still had one he could have taken home with him.)

[florida80]

Clearly They Need Drugs

Crazy Requests, New York, Pharmacy, Staten Island, USA | Right | August 2, 2018


(A customer comes up through my pharmacy drive-thru and hands me a script for Oxycontin, 30mg, which we do not carry.)

Customer: “I’d like to fill this script here.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t carry this particular medication.”

Customer: “But I want it.”

Me: “We don’t carry this, though. There’s a pharmacy a few blocks from here that does carry this; have you tried filling there?”

Customer: “I don’t want to fill it there. I want it here. You know what? I’m not going to argue with you morons. I’ll come back in an hour to pick it up.”

(I have had no chance to verify any information for this patient — no date of birth, no phone number. The patient comes back in about twenty minutes:)

Customer: “Is it ready yet?”

Me: “No, and we don’t carry this medication.”

Customer: “But I want it now! You had a whole hour to figure it out! Let me speak to your manager!”

(I bring my manager over, and she tells him the exact same thing.)

Customer: “Oh, really? I didn’t know that. Maybe your employee should have told me that before wasting my time.”

[florida80]

No Spoonful Of Sugar Is Helping This Medicine Go Down

Bad Behavior, Florida, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, USA |
Healthy | July 31, 2018

(When you come to pick up a prescription, I have to make sure it’s going to the right person or I get written up and, if I get written up enough times, lose my job. This particular pharmacy asks that we verify the address on file, but if they don’t know it, I’ll usually take some other manner of verification if necessary. It’s late, and there’s an hour and a half left to go of a seven-hour day, and all I want to do is go home, so I admit I’m a bit tired. A guy comes up who couldn’t be more than 22, I’d guess, and I smile and go to the register, asking him who he’s picking up for.)

Guy: “My girlfriend.”

Me: “Okay. What’s her name?”

Guy: “[First Name].”

(I need a last name in particular to search, and unfortunately most of the younger crowd usually never give their last name unless prompted. I have no idea why.)

Me: “What’s her last name?”

Guy: “[Last Name].”

(I go over to get it, which doesn’t take long, and return.)

Me: “And what’s her address, please?”

(He gives me this look like I’ve told him that the sky is green or that he’s standing on his head.)

Guy: “I’ve picked up before and they’ve never, ever asked me for her address before.”

(Then he clearly hasn’t picked up for her before at this pharmacy, because we always ask for the address. I say it so often that even when I’m doing things that don’t require it, I sometimes end up saying the words. Sometimes I end up asking them their address before I ask their name, before I can stop myself.)

Me: “Um… We always ask for the address.”

Guy: “No one has ever asked me before!”

Me: “Well, sometimes if you don’t know it, we’ll try another way to verify. Do you know it?”

Guy: “No!”

Me: “Okay, what’s her date of birth?”

(That, he knows. He tells that to me and I’m assured that I have the right person. A new law was passed in July that on certain types and classes of medicines, I now have to ask for a form of ID and enter it into the computer. What he’s picking up falls into that class.)

Me: “I need to see your ID, please.”

Guy: “Why?”

Me: “It’s the law as of the first of July. I have to have an ID.”

Guy: “Does that mean I have to get hers from the car?”

Me: “No, I need yours, since you’re picking it up.”

Guy: “But… does that mean I have to get hers?”

Me: “Um… No. I need yours.”

Guy: “I don’t have mine.”

Me: “Then she has to come in and pick it up.”

Guy: “Why can’t I just go get hers and give it to you?”

(Now I can understand his hesitancy. There’s a big storm that has been going on all day, but neither weather nor annoying teenagers are going to make me break the law.)

Me: “Because it’s her license. Whatever license I have has to be for the person picking up. It’s the law.”

(We go back and forth about this for another minute, to the point that my pharmacist has to come over and back me up, telling him that we have to follow all rules and regulations, and if it’s her license, it has be her. He finally goes out to get her and comes back in. I think this is a wonderful opportunity to do my job right now that she’s here.)

Me: “What’s your address?”

Girl: *throws her ID on the counter* “On file.”

Me: *blink*

(I’ve never had a customer refuse to give their address. Sometimes they’ll pretend to give me a hard time or forget some of the numbers, but I’ve never had someone give me a smart a** remark about it being “on file,” because most have the intelligence to realize that there’s a reason I’m asking for it and it’s most certainly not to hear myself talk. I want to keep my job.)

Me: “I’m sorry; we ask that for verification. If you don’t know yo—”

Girl: *interrupts snottily* “I know my address. It’s [address].”

(She picked up her license from the counter and proceeded to throw it again. I decided I’d had enough of dealing with the twat that was clearly just too lazy to come in and sent her boyfriend in for her, since I could see no legitimate reason for her not to come in besides the rain. And part of me wanted a little bit of revenge for these people half my age giving me a hard time, so I took my time, every bit of it that I could, prolonging the transaction just because they were antsy. As they left, she shot me a glare, snatched up her prescription, and then went to the industrial scale nearby that people use to measure weight and proceeded to jump up and down on it once or twice before leaving.)

[florida80]

This Policy Has Gone To The Dogs

Canada, Employees, Grocery Store, Jerk, Ontario, Pets & Animals, Pharmacy, Revolting | Working | July 31, 2018


(I’m at common, nationwide pharmacy and grocery store when I see a woman walking a small dog down one of the aisles. While the woman is distracted, I watch the dog pee on a shelf filled with cereal boxes. The woman never seems to notice, so as I am heading to the cash, anyway, I decide to tell the cashiers about the dog. There are two cashiers and a supervisor at the front when I get up there.)

Me: “Hi, do you guys know you have a lady in here walking around with a dog?”

Supervisor: “Yeah, it’s fine.”

Me: “Really? So, I can bring my dog in with me next time?”

(Pointing at my dog sitting outside the glass window watching for me.)

Supervisor: “Ah, no. She’s just a friend, so it’s okay.”

Me: “Not really. Your company policy says no dogs except service dogs, so I should be allowed to bring my dog in if that woman can; it’s clearly not a service dog.”

Supervisor: “No, but it’s a really good dog! So, it’s okay for her, but uh, your dog can’t come in. “

(I see nothing wrong with dogs in stores as long as the owners are responsible, clean up if there’s an accident, and carefully watch them. I also have this view of parents with kids. My dog loves her pet store and hardware store walking trips, but this attitude annoyed me. Guess what I didn’t tell them?)

[florida80]

Trying To Pay With A Photo Finish

Extra Stupid, Lebanon, Math & Science, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, USA | Right | July 30, 2018


Customer: “Excuse me, can you help me with this photo machine?”

Me: “Yes, what’s the problem?”

Customer: “It printed all of my photos, but it’s telling me to bring the receipt to the counter, and it’s not printing a receipt.”

(Our kiosk’s receipt printer hasn’t worked in years, so we frequently have to give this explanation.)

Me: “The summary it printed after the last photo is what we use. It tells you how many pictures were in the order, and we can figure the price out from that.”

Customer: “But I don’t know how much photos cost!”

Me: “Well, they’re 29 cents each, and it says here there were 13 photos, so with that—”

Customer: “But it doesn’t tell me how much it’ll cost, or how many photos there are!”

(She begins counting the photos by hand, so I grab the calculator and work out the cost.)

Customer: “…twelve, thirteen. Now to get the cost. Thirteen times 29 cents…”

Me: “It’ll be $3.77 before tax, ma’am.”

(The customer ignores me and continues to write out the multiplication.)

Customer: “Okay, it’s $3.77! By the way, you don’t sell photo postcards here, do you? Or any of the stores in this square?”

Me: “I’m afraid we don’t; if anyone here does, it would probably be [Other Store], so I’d check there first.”

Customer: “Thank you. I’ll do that!”

(The customer immediately turns from the counter and starts toward the exit.)

Me: “Ma’am, you need to— Ma’am, you need to pay for those!”

Customer: “I did!”

Me: “No… you didn’t.”

Customer: “I paid it right over there, you can check my balance and see!”

(Fearful that she might have tried jamming her card into a slot on the kiosk, I rush around… only to find her pointing at the ATM next to it.)

Customer: “I slid it right here, and it says here you can check my balance to see.”

Me: “This is the store’s ATM, not part of the photo machine.”

Customer: “Well, can I check my balance?”

Me: “Uh… Yes?”

(With another customer waiting, I leave to ring them up while keeping the first customer in earshot while she uses the ATM.)

Customer: “It wants a PIN? It’s never asked for that before!”

(I finish checking the second customer out, right as the first customer walks back up to the counter.)

Customer: “Since when does it want a PIN for anything? Anyway, I guess I’ll trust that I still need to pay for these. But I’m using cash this time, not a card!”

Me: “All right, after tax, that’ll be four dollars even!”

(The customer pulls out a small wad of bills with a twenty and three ones visible. She returns to her purse, and I assume she’s getting a fourth dollar bill.)

Customer: “Feels like it’s been forever since I paid with cash!”

(She does pull out another wad of cash with another dollar bill, only to drop it and continue digging for two more handfuls. By the time she stops, I can see a five, a ten, a twenty, and far more ones than needed to pay for the pictures.)

Me: “Ma’am, you… have enough to pay for this…”

(Paying no attention to me, she begins straightening out some of the ones, the five, and the twenty. After she’s stacked twelve of them up, she sighs and slides me the ten.)

Customer: “Oh, just take it out of the ten, then.”

Me: “Um… Okay… And six dollars is your change!”

Customer: “Whew, never a dull moment, is there?”

Me: “Nope!”

[florida80]

The Couponator 7: The Forgotten Coupon

At The Checkout, Coupon, Kentucky, Pharmacy, USA | Right | July 24, 2018


(I’m a cashier at a pharmacy. Unfortunately, due to its rewards program, our chain is a haven for “Coupon Queens” to come buy a cartload of products for $3.00. I mean, do what you gotta do, but sometimes, the couponers get way out of hand. The customer in this story is a notorious regular, and he and his wife always make my coworkers and me go running when they come into the store. The customer, sans his wife, has been chatting to me while I ring him up, going on about saving this and saving that, occasionally snapping at me if I even look at one of the items he’s set aside for a third or fourth transaction. It takes fifteen minutes before I finally get it all rang up.)

Customer: “I’ll bring your cart back in when I get these out to my car. I just… Oh, s***!”

Me: “Is everything all right, sir?”

Customer: “I forgot to use my coupons on this stuff. Oh, my God, my wife is going to kill me. Here, you need to refund all of these so I can do it again and use my coupons.”

Me: “I… I’m sorry, sir. I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Well, why the h*** not? I have the coupons right here; there’s no one else in line right now.”

Me: “Sir, it’s against company policy. I cannot refund your items for full price, and then sell them back to you when you’re using coupons.”

Customer: “Well, I’m going to tell my wife you did this!” *storms out*

[florida80]

On A Check Trek

British Columbia, Canada, Delta, Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, Pharmacy | Working | July 16, 2018


(I am at the pharmacy picking up my prescriptions, when the pharmacy technician gestures to the bag of syringes that come with.)

Pharmacy Technician: “Are you wanting these, too?”

Me: “They are part of the order, so yes, please.”

Pharmacy Technician: “I’ll have to check on the price.”

Me: “Okay.” *waits for her to go, she stands there*

Pharmacy Technician: “Do you want me to check the price?”

Me: “Um… Yes?”

Pharmacy Technician: “Okay.” *goes to check price and comes back holding the bag* “$1.49!”

Me: “For all of them?”

Pharmacy Technician: “No, only for one.”

Me: “What’s the price on them all?”

Pharmacy Technician: “I’ll have to check that.”

Me: “Okay.” *waits as she stands there*

Pharmacy Technician: “Do you want me to check that?”

Me: “Um… Yes.”

Pharmacy Technician: “Okay.” *grabs calculator* “$17.88.”

Me: “Total price?”

Pharmacy Technician: “Excluding taxes.”

Me: *really don’t want to ask this* “What is the total, please?”

Pharmacy Technician: “I’ll have to check that.”

Me: *wanting to cry, bang head, scream* “Of course you do.” *waits as she stands there*

Pharmacy Technician: “Do you want me to check that?”

Me: *thinks* “NO, I WANT YOU TO DANCE FOR ME! ENTERTAIN ME! ON YOUR HEAD!” *saying* “Yes, please.”

[florida80]

Going To Have A Date Of Death If You Don’t Get It Right

Bad Behavior, Columbus, Extra Stupid, Ohio, Pharmacy, USA | Right | July 14, 2018


(I work in the pharmacy of a regional grocery chain. We require the person picking up a prescription order to give us the patient’s name and date of birth; if they don’t give us the date of birth, we cannot release the prescription order to them. I am doing my scheduled counter rotation when a baby boomer who looks like a redneck Santa approaches. He is talking away on his cell phone.)

Me: “Hi there. Picking up?”

Customer: *pulls his phone away from his face* “Yeah I’m picking up for my mother-in-law. Wife’s after me to get this stuff.”

Me: “Sure thing. What’s her name?”

Customer: “Her name is [Mother-In-Law].”

Me: “And her date of birth?”

Customer: *scoffs* “I don’t know. She’s my mother-in-law. I don’t pay attention to that s***.”

Me: “Unfortunately, our system requires we enter the patient’s date of birth to help prevent prescription theft.”

(The customer quite literally turns very red. I steel myself for an angry tirade.)

Customer: “This is bulls***. Simple mother-f*****…” *storms off, ranting and raving to his wife*

Boss: “[My Name]… what was that all about?”

Me: “He didn’t react very well to me telling him I needed his mother-in-law’s birthdate to release her meds to him.”

Boss: “He was on the phone with his wife, wasn’t he?”

Me: “Yep. Don’t know why he didn’t just ask her.”

[florida80]

How Dare You Stop To Eat?!

Comeuppance, Illinois, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | July 6, 2018


(I go to the pharmacy department of a larger than normal location of a major retailer. It’s about 2:25 pm, and the gates to the pharmacy counter are down with a sign apologizing for being closed for lunch. There are about four people ahead of me in line. Though I am in a hurry, I decide to stay since the sign states that they will reopen in five minutes. Four minutes later, the gates reopen, and the pharmacist is at the counter alone, since her support staff hasn’t returned yet. She greets the first man in line.)

Pharmacist: “Thank you for waiting. How may I help you, sir?”

Man: “I’m here to pick up my prescription, under [Man].”

(The pharmacist verifies personal information with the man.)

Man: *as the pharmacist is ringing up the order* “I had to wait ten minutes for you guys to open! It’s just ridiculous that—”

Pharmacist: *cutting the man off, in a tone that is both mockingly concerned, and professional* “Yes, sir, it is ridiculous that I have to work a ten-hour shift, and am only allowed twenty minutes to sit down and eat in the back of this store. I’m so sorry that you had to wait that short amount of time. Your total is [amount].”

(The man said nothing further, refused to make eye contact with anyone, paid, and left. By then, her staff had returned, and the pharmacist went to the back of the work area, immediately answering the phone. The staff made short work of the rest of the people in line, who all were friendly to the workers. I was out the door before 2:40 pm.)

[florida80]

How To Treat Dog-Breath

Canada, Extra Stupid, Ontario, Pharmacy, Strangers, Toronto | Healthy | July 6, 2018


(I am a veterinary technician and sometimes I leave work still wearing scrubs.)

Cashier: “So, you work at the dental office in this plaza, right?”

Me: “Nope, I’m a veterinary technician. I work at the vet clinic over there.” *gesturing*

Other Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “I’m a nurse for animals.”

Other Customer: “Oh. There’s this mouth-wash I’ve been meaning to try. The stuff from [Human Brand]. Can you tell me if it’s any good?”

Me: “Um… I’m a veterinary technician. I nurse animals.”

Other Customer: “It’s all the same. So, can you tell me if the mouthwash is any good?”

[florida80]

They Need New Glasses As Well As Their Drugs

Dallas, Ignoring & Inattentive, Patients, Pharmacy, Texas, USA | Healthy | July 5, 2018


(I pull into a drive-thru pharmacy to pick up my prescription, and there’s just one car in front of me. It’s ten full minutes before the car in front of me drives off and I can pull up to the window, but I’m not in a hurry, so I don’t really mind.)

Me: “I’m picking up a prescription for [My Last Name].”

Pharmacist: “Okay, let me just pull that up.”

(She’s gone for a few minutes, and I’m starting to think that this is why the line was slow. Obviously, I think, they must have new people there who don’t know what they’re doing. When she comes back:)

Pharmacist: “I’m sorry, but I don’t have any filled prescriptions listed under your name.”

Me: “But I got an email saying my prescription was ready.”

Pharmacist: “I don’t know what to say. We have you in our system from about two years ago, but there’s nothing recent.”

Me: “Can you check again? I got the email, so I know it’s ready.”

(The pharmacist is gone even longer this time, and I’m starting to feel pretty righteously indignant.)

Pharmacist: “No, we don’t have anything ready for you.”

Me: “Look, that just doesn’t make sense. I don’t understand how I can have an email from Walgreens right here saying that my prescription is ready, but you guys apparently don’t have it.”

Pharmacist: *blank stare* “Ma’am, this is CVS.”

(I felt like such a complete moron that I just drove away in embarrassment. Pharmacist, if you’re out there, I’m really sorry I didn’t apologize!)

[florida80]

They Must Get Lost Driving To The AMC

Extra Stupid, New Jersey, Pharmacy, USA | Right | July 3, 2018


(My aunt works at the pharmacy in a CVS, and often comes home with hilarious stories about customers or doctor offices. This one in particular I find incredibly stupid.)

Aunt: “Hello, this is [Aunt] from CVS. I need to order a refill for [Medication] for [Patient].”

Doctor’s Office: “Where are you calling from?”

Aunt: “CVS.”

Doctor’s Office: “Can you spell that?”

Aunt: “Um… C-V-S.”

Doctor’s Office: “Where? Spell it?”

Aunt: “C as in ‘cat,’ V as in ‘Victor,’ S like in ‘Sam.’”

Doctor’s Office: “Where?”

(According to her, this went on for five minutes before she finally got the medication ordered. The customer even warned her that the office was awful before she made the call.)

[florida80]

You’re Boxing Me In Here

Australia, Extra Stupid, Hobart, Patients, Pharmacy, Tasmania | Healthy | June 27, 2018


(At my pharmacy, we commonly take orders by phone so that a customer’s medications can be ready to collect when they arrive. This phone order, however, is a little different.)

Me: “Good afternoon. This is [Pharmacy]. [My Name] speaking. How can I help?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to order some medications, please.”

Me: “Sure. What do you need?”

Customer: “I can’t remember what they’re called, sorry.”

Me: “That’s okay. We can figure it out. Do you remember what they’re for?”

Customer: “No, sorry. But they come in a box…”

[florida80]

Never Sausage An Unhealthy Thing Before

Australia, Coworkers, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Jerk, Pharmacy, Smithton, Tasmania | Friendly | September 4, 2018


One of my colleagues is a naturopath and health nut. She’s noticed that I have a certain fondness for hot chips/fries and often buy them for lunch, and she’s taken to telling me how unhealthy, fatty, salty, etc. they are, in a vain attempt to improve my diet.

One day, just for a change, I decide to buy a sausage roll for lunch. My colleague notices this and proceeds to lecture me on how much worse this is for me, because of how many carbs are in the pastry and how much fat is in the meat.

The next day I buy chips again. I show them to my colleague and tell her that I went with the healthier option.

The horrified and appalled look on her face was priceless, and was well worth the earful she gave me!

[florida80]

The Last Time The Medicine Was A Steal

Georgia, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | September 2, 2018


(I work in a retail pharmacy. One day a patient brings in a prescription for a blood pressure monitor. My coworker is taking prescriptions.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t fill this. We sell them over the counter but we can’t bill them to insurance.” *tries to hand it back*

Patient: *upset* “Yes, you can fill them. I had one filled here a few years ago.”

Coworker: “We have never been able to fill blood pressure monitors; our company isn’t authorized to dispense medical equipment.”

Patient: *angry* “Then it must have been before you started here, but I had one filled at this store!”

Coworker: *getting frustrated* “I have worked at this store since it opened eleven years ago, and have been in the pharmacy for seven years, and we have never dispensed blood pressure monitors.”

Patient: “Yes, you have! The first time I brought a prescription in, the pharmacist showed me where they were, handed me one, and I walked out with it!”

Coworker: *shocked* “If you walked out with it, then you just walked out with it.”

Patient: “I am not a thief! I have never stolen anything in my life!” *stomps off*

(She called corporate on my coworker for “calling her a thief,” but we had already sent an email to our district manager detailing the incident, so nothing came of it.)

[florida80]

Getting Into The Spirit Of This Parenting Thing

Children, England, Overheard, Pharmacy, UK, Upminster | Right | August 24, 2018


(I am at the pharmacy queuing at the checkout. A woman behind me is also queuing with what I presume are her grandchildren. They are screaming, asking for a DVD which said she no to. We go to separate checkouts at the same time, where I overhear this.)

Cashier: “Do you want bags with those?”

Women: “I want some alcohol. It’s the children’s school holiday.”

(It definitely made my being in a shop with screaming kids worth it.)

[florida80]

Time To Prescribe Some Patience

Jerk, Pharmacy, Strangers, USA | Friendly | August 19, 2018


(I have just left the doctor’s office and walked to the pharmacy to wait for a prescription to be sent over. The young girl at the register is on the phone, so I wait for her to acknowledge me.)

Cashier: “I’ll be right with you.”

Me: “Okay, thank you.”

(A few minutes pass.)

Cashier: “Okay, picking up?”

Me: “Yes, it was just sent over from [Doctor]. Last name, [Last name]. Born [birthday].”

Cashier: “Hmm, doesn’t look like it’s here yet. You can have a seat and wait, if you’d like.”

Me: “I’ll do that. Thank you.”

(I take a seat and begin scrolling through Facebook while I wait. The phone rings again. A woman comes in and goes right to the register.)

Cashier: “I’ll be right with you, ma’am.”

Woman: “I just left [Doctor], and she sent a medicine order over for me.”

Cashier: *nods, covers phone receiver* “Just a moment.”

Woman: “It’s under [Woman].”

Cashier: *nods, holds up one finger* “As soon as I’m done on the phone, ma’am.”

Woman: “It should be ready.”

Cashier: *nods*

Woman: “Ugh.” *turns to me* “Can you believe this service?”

Me: “I can.”

Woman: “What?”

Me: “Well, she’s clearly busy, and you were told many times that she would be with you after her phone call.”

Woman: “Why don’t you mind your own business?”

Me: “You asked.”

Woman: “The youth of today are so disrespectful! If you were my daughter, I’d have you over my knee for talking to me like that!”

Me: “Guess I’m lucky you’re irrelevant.”

Woman: “How dare you?!”

(I return to my Facebook browsing. The woman sits directly beside me, continuing her rant about disrespectful youth and poor customer service. The cashier hangs up and takes the woman’s information. Of course, it isn’t ready. She resumes her rant, pacing in front of the register.)

Cashier: “[My Name], your order is ready.”

Woman: “Where is mine?”

Cashier: “I’ll let you know as soon as yours is ready.”

Woman: “I’ve half a mind to take my business elsewhere!”

Me: “Don’t use it all in one place.”

Cashier: *trying to keep a straight face* “No copay, [My Name]. Have a good day.”

[florida80]

Some Sick Mannerisms

Australia, Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Melbourne, Pharmacy, Victoria | Right | August 14, 2018


(I’m working the front register at a large pharmacy when a woman comes up from the pharmacist’s desk with her items. She looks like a zombie with bleary, watering eyes and a red nose. I try to speak gently.)

Me: “Hello there.”

Customer: *clearly super congested* “Ngehh.”

(She dumps painkillers, nasal decongestants, cough medicine, and an inhaler on the counter, and then sniffles and gives me a glum look.)

Me: “Not feeling well today? I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Mrrr..”

Me: “Hopefully some of these will help you feel better!”

Customer: *coughs and whimpers*

(She pays, and then picks up and cuddles the bag of medicine.)

Customer: *sniffle* “Egh.” *sniffle* “Ehh… thangks. Have a dice day.”

Coworker: *to me* “Wow. So, her manners were the only thing not broken? What a nice change.”

[florida80]

Misunderstanding Of A Dollar-Printing Factory

Crazy Requests, Money, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, Pittsburgh, USA | Right | August 14, 2018


(I am working a morning shift behind my register when a disheveled man walks in and approaches the counter. He mumbles and slurs his words together when he talks, making him very difficult to understand.)

Customer: “I need a—” *incomprehensible*

Me: “Sorry, what was that?”

Customer: “I said I need a dollar!”

Me: *thinking he needs to exchange some bills or coins* “Okay, what do you have on you? And how would you like that?”

Customer: “Nooo, I need a dollar.”

Me: *now thinking he might need cash back* “Okay, you just have you buy something small, like a pack of gum or something. I can’t give out money directly from the register.”

Customer: *growing more frustrated* “NO! You see, I have four dollars. And I need five dollars. So, I need a dollar.”

Me: “Sir, I can’t just give out money from the register.”

Customer: *stares at me with a mixture of anger and confusion*

Me: “I can give you cash back or exchange money, but I can’t just give you a dollar. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “I can’t give you money out of my register.”

Customer: *stares at me again and finally leaves*

(I’m not sure why that dollar was so important, or why it’s so hard to understand that stores don’t just give money out to people who ask.)

[florida80]

Prescribe Some Common Sense And Anger Management

Extra Stupid, Jerk, Non-Dialogue, Pharmacy, USA, Vermont | Working | August 13, 2018


I work in a pharmacy and we have the store divided into sections: Front Store and Pharmacy. When you give us a call, the prompts will tell you to press one number to talk to Pharmacy, and to press another number for general store questions.

I have just finished helping a customer find an item, and my coworker is on break, which means that I’m all alone up front, and that’s when I get a line of customers and the phone starts ringing.

I pick up the phone while one customer is paying and ask if it’s all right if I put them on hold for a moment. The customer yells, “No, you cannot! I’ve been waiting twenty minutes for my prescription and that is unacceptable!”

The woman tries to keep ranting at me, but I firmly interrupt her to tell her that she’s called the front part of the store and that I’ll have to transfer her to the Pharmacy.

Later, I catch one of the Pharmacy techs and apologize for sending the irate customer their way. The tech looks at me and laughs, and tells me that the woman on the phone wasn’t even in our system, and that her friend who dropped off her prescription dropped it off at another pharmacy altogether.

So, not only did that woman reach the wrong part of the store, but also she didn’t even get the right store!

[florida80]

Prescribing You The Ability To Listen

Jerk, Minnesota, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | August 9, 2018


(It’s Memorial Day, and my pharmacy is one of the few within a 20-mile radius that is open. My coworker is on break and I am managing the front of the pharmacy.)

Me: “Hi, sir, how I can help you today?”

Customer: “I’m here to pick up two prescriptions for [Customer].”

Me: “All right, sir, it looks like I have one prescription ready for you, but the other prescription — your [Prescription] — we’re still waiting to hear back from your doctor for more refills.”

Customer: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THEY’RE NOT DONE?!”

Me: “There is one prescription done and ready for you to pick up, sir. The other prescription you requested, your [Prescription], isn’t, because we haven’t heard back from your doctor yet.”

Customer: “I HATE THIS PLACE! YOU GUYS NEVER HAVE ANYTHING DONE! I BROUGHT TWO PRESCRIPTIONS IN ON FRIDAY, AND YOU’RE TELLING ME THEY’RE STILL NOT DONE?!”

Me: “Sir, I have one prescription ready for you right now.” *pause* “The other one is still waiting on your doctor for approval, and since it’s Memorial Day, we may not hear back from your doctor until tomorrow.”

Customer: “You guys are horrible! You never have anything done for me! I hate it here!” *walks off*

(After he walked away, I looked back at the screen to see when he brought in the prescriptions. And turns out, he brought them in yesterday, not Friday. But either way, we still had one he could have taken home with him.)

[florida80]

Clearly They Need Drugs

Crazy Requests, New York, Pharmacy, Staten Island, USA | Right | August 2, 2018


(A customer comes up through my pharmacy drive-thru and hands me a script for Oxycontin, 30mg, which we do not carry.)

Customer: “I’d like to fill this script here.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t carry this particular medication.”

Customer: “But I want it.”

Me: “We don’t carry this, though. There’s a pharmacy a few blocks from here that does carry this; have you tried filling there?”

Customer: “I don’t want to fill it there. I want it here. You know what? I’m not going to argue with you morons. I’ll come back in an hour to pick it up.”

(I have had no chance to verify any information for this patient — no date of birth, no phone number. The patient comes back in about twenty minutes:)

Customer: “Is it ready yet?”

Me: “No, and we don’t carry this medication.”

Customer: “But I want it now! You had a whole hour to figure it out! Let me speak to your manager!”

(I bring my manager over, and she tells him the exact same thing.)

Customer: “Oh, really? I didn’t know that. Maybe your employee should have told me that before

[florida80]

No Spoonful Of Sugar Is Helping This Medicine Go Down

Bad Behavior, Florida, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, USA |
Healthy | July 31, 2018

(When you come to pick up a prescription, I have to make sure it’s going to the right person or I get written up and, if I get written up enough times, lose my job. This particular pharmacy asks that we verify the address on file, but if they don’t know it, I’ll usually take some other manner of verification if necessary. It’s late, and there’s an hour and a half left to go of a seven-hour day, and all I want to do is go home, so I admit I’m a bit tired. A guy comes up who couldn’t be more than 22, I’d guess, and I smile and go to the register, asking him who he’s picking up for.)

Guy: “My girlfriend.”

Me: “Okay. What’s her name?”

Guy: “[First Name].”

(I need a last name in particular to search, and unfortunately most of the younger crowd usually never give their last name unless prompted. I have no idea why.)

Me: “What’s her last name?”

Guy: “[Last Name].”

(I go over to get it, which doesn’t take long, and return.)

Me: “And what’s her address, please?”

(He gives me this look like I’ve told him that the sky is green or that he’s standing on his head.)

Guy: “I’ve picked up before and they’ve never, ever asked me for her address before.”

(Then he clearly hasn’t picked up for her before at this pharmacy, because we always ask for the address. I say it so often that even when I’m doing things that don’t require it, I sometimes end up saying the words. Sometimes I end up asking them their address before I ask their name, before I can stop myself.)

Me: “Um… We always ask for the address.”

Guy: “No one has ever asked me before!”

Me: “Well, sometimes if you don’t know it, we’ll try another way to verify. Do you know it?”

Guy: “No!”

Me: “Okay, what’s her date of birth?”

(That, he knows. He tells that to me and I’m assured that I have the right person. A new law was passed in July that on certain types and classes of medicines, I now have to ask for a form of ID and enter it into the computer. What he’s picking up falls into that class.)

Me: “I need to see your ID, please.”

Guy: “Why?”

Me: “It’s the law as of the first of July. I have to have an ID.”

Guy: “Does that mean I have to get hers from the car?”

Me: “No, I need yours, since you’re picking it up.”

Guy: “But… does that mean I have to get hers?”

Me: “Um… No. I need yours.”

Guy: “I don’t have mine.”

Me: “Then she has to come in and pick it up.”

Guy: “Why can’t I just go get hers and give it to you?”

(Now I can understand his hesitancy. There’s a big storm that has been going on all day, but neither weather nor annoying teenagers are going to make me break the law.)

Me: “Because it’s her license. Whatever license I have has to be for the person picking up. It’s the law.”

(We go back and forth about this for another minute, to the point that my pharmacist has to come over and back me up, telling him that we have to follow all rules and regulations, and if it’s her license, it has be her. He finally goes out to get her and comes back in. I think this is a wonderful opportunity to do my job right now that she’s here.)

Me: “What’s your address?”

Girl: *throws her ID on the counter* “On file.”

Me: *blink*

(I’ve never had a customer refuse to give their address. Sometimes they’ll pretend to give me a hard time or forget some of the numbers, but I’ve never had someone give me a smart a** remark about it being “on file,” because most have the intelligence to realize that there’s a reason I’m asking for it and it’s most certainly not to hear myself talk. I want to keep my job.)

Me: “I’m sorry; we ask that for verification. If you don’t know yo—”

Girl: *interrupts snottily* “I know my address. It’s [address].”

(She picked up her license from the counter and proceeded to throw it again. I decided I’d had enough of dealing with the twat that was clearly just too lazy to come in and sent her boyfriend in for her, since I could see no legitimate reason for her not to come in besides the rain. And part of me wanted a little bit of revenge for these people half my age giving me a hard time, so I took my time, every bit of it that I could, prolonging the transaction just because they were antsy. As they left, she shot me a glare, snatched up her prescription, and then went to the industrial scale nearby that people use to measure weight and proceeded to jump up and down on it once or twice before leaving.)

[florida80]

This Policy Has Gone To The Dogs

Canada, Employees, Grocery Store, Jerk, Ontario, Pets & Animals, Pharmacy, Revolting | Working | July 31, 2018


(I’m at common, nationwide pharmacy and grocery store when I see a woman walking a small dog down one of the aisles. While the woman is distracted, I watch the dog pee on a shelf filled with cereal boxes. The woman never seems to notice, so as I am heading to the cash, anyway, I decide to tell the cashiers about the dog. There are two cashiers and a supervisor at the front when I get up there.)

Me: “Hi, do you guys know you have a lady in here walking around with a dog?”

Supervisor: “Yeah, it’s fine.”

Me: “Really? So, I can bring my dog in with me next time?”

(Pointing at my dog sitting outside the glass window watching for me.)

Supervisor: “Ah, no. She’s just a friend, so it’s okay.”

Me: “Not really. Your company policy says no dogs except service dogs, so I should be allowed to bring my dog in if that woman can; it’s clearly not a service dog.”

Supervisor: “No, but it’s a really good dog! So, it’s okay for her, but uh, your dog can’t come in. “

(I see nothing wrong with dogs in stores as long as the owners are responsible, clean up if there’s an accident, and carefully watch them. I also have this view of parents with kids. My dog loves her pet store and hardware store walking trips, but this attitude annoyed me. Guess what I didn’t tell them?)

[florida80]

Trying To Pay With A Photo Finish

Extra Stupid, Lebanon, Math & Science, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, USA | Right | July 30, 2018


Customer: “Excuse me, can you help me with this photo machine?”

Me: “Yes, what’s the problem?”

Customer: “It printed all of my photos, but it’s telling me to bring the receipt to the counter, and it’s not printing a receipt.”

(Our kiosk’s receipt printer hasn’t worked in years, so we frequently have to give this explanation.)

Me: “The summary it printed after the last photo is what we use. It tells you how many pictures were in the order, and we can figure the price out from that.”

Customer: “But I don’t know how much photos cost!”

Me: “Well, they’re 29 cents each, and it says here there were 13 photos, so with that—”

Customer: “But it doesn’t tell me how much it’ll cost, or how many photos there are!”

(She begins counting the photos by hand, so I grab the calculator and work out the cost.)

Customer: “…twelve, thirteen. Now to get the cost. Thirteen times 29 cents…”

Me: “It’ll be $3.77 before tax, ma’am.”

(The customer ignores me and continues to write out the multiplication.)

Customer: “Okay, it’s $3.77! By the way, you don’t sell photo postcards here, do you? Or any of the stores in this square?”

Me: “I’m afraid we don’t; if anyone here does, it would probably be [Other Store], so I’d check there first.”

Customer: “Thank you. I’ll do that!”

(The customer immediately turns from the counter and starts toward the exit.)

Me: “Ma’am, you need to— Ma’am, you need to pay for those!”

Customer: “I did!”

Me: “No… you didn’t.”

Customer: “I paid it right over there, you can check my balance and see!”

(Fearful that she might have tried jamming her card into a slot on the kiosk, I rush around… only to find her pointing at the ATM next to it.)

Customer: “I slid it right here, and it says here you can check my balance to see.”

Me: “This is the store’s ATM, not part of the photo machine.”

Customer: “Well, can I check my balance?”

Me: “Uh… Yes?”

(With another customer waiting, I leave to ring them up while keeping the first customer in earshot while she uses the ATM.)

Customer: “It wants a PIN? It’s never asked for that before!”

(I finish checking the second customer out, right as the first customer walks back up to the counter.)

Customer: “Since when does it want a PIN for anything? Anyway, I guess I’ll trust that I still need to pay for these. But I’m using cash this time, not a card!”

Me: “All right, after tax, that’ll be four dollars even!”

(The customer pulls out a small wad of bills with a twenty and three ones visible. She returns to her purse, and I assume she’s getting a fourth dollar bill.)

Customer: “Feels like it’s been forever since I paid with cash!”

(She does pull out another wad of cash with another dollar bill, only to drop it and continue digging for two more handfuls. By the time she stops, I can see a five, a ten, a twenty, and far more ones than needed to pay for the pictures.)

Me: “Ma’am, you… have enough to pay for this…”

(Paying no attention to me, she begins straightening out some of the ones, the five, and the twenty. After she’s stacked twelve of them up, she sighs and slides me the ten.)

Customer: “Oh, just take it out of the ten, then.”

Me: “Um… Okay… And six dollars is your change!”

Customer: “Whew, never a dull moment, is there?”

Me: “Nope!”

[florida80]

Thirteen Bucks Can Buy A Lot Of Beans

Pharmacy | | Right | August 4, 2008


Customer: “I hear there’s this stuff you can put on your food that won’t give you gas.”

Me: “Oh, yeah… it’s called Beano. Put a couple of drops on your food and the enzymes in it prevent the food from giving you gas.”

Customer: “So, you have it?”

Me: “Yep. I’ll show you.”

(We walk over to the shelf where Beano is kept. I show him the little 3 or 4 oz. bottle; a little goes a long way with that stuff.)

Me: “This is it.”

Customer: “How much?”

Me: “$12.99.”

Customer: “For THAT little bottle? S***, I’ll just fart!”

[florida80]

Along The Way, You’ll Meet Some Hopped-Up Munchkins

Pharmacy | | Right | May 23, 2008


(I live in a town where 65% of the people are 65 years old and older. When we were redoing the design of the store, they placed a large white walkway from the front door to the pharmacy.)

Customer: “Hi, I would like to pick up my prescription.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is the front of the store. Your prescription is in the back of the store, in the pharmacy.”

Customer: “How do I get there?”

Me: “Follow the white brick road.”



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[florida80]

Teenage Boys And Smutty Mags? You Don’t Say!

Pharmacy | | Right | May 19, 2008


Angry Old Woman: “Excuse me! I am very upset because you sold my young grandson pornography!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t sell pornography.”

Angry Old Woman: “Get me the manager, now!”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Angry Old Woman: “Your pervert cashier sold my grandson pornography!”

Manager: “Are you sure about that? We don’t sell anything like that here.”

Angry Old Woman: “Do you think I’m stupid? I saw it with my own eyes! It had naked women and he told me he bought it here with no problem!”

Manager: “Could you show me on the shelf what it was?”

(She goes over to the magazines, and points at Maxim.)

Angry Old Woman: “It was this one! See? Right here! Where any child could see!”

Manager: “Ma’am, this magazine is not pornography. Granted, the women are scantily clad in a few pictures but they aren’t naked and there is no age restriction on its sale.”

Angry Old Woman: “I know pornography when I see it, and this is very offensive. How could you sell it to young children?”

Manager: “Well, actually our store policy dictates that we won’t sell this to a young child even though it is still legal. How old is your grandson?”

Angry Old Woman: “He’s only sixteen!”

Manager: *rolls eyes* “I don’t want to offend your moral beliefs, Ma’am, but if your sixteen year old grandson wants to look at women in bikinis there is no force on earth that is going to stop it. Seriously.”

Angry Old Woman: “The power of Jesus can stop it! The power of Christ should compel you to remove this magazine from your shelves!”

Manager: “Right… Real quick, ma’am, before I get back to work, can I ask you a question? Does your grandson have Internet access?”

Angry Old Woman: “What does that have to do with anything?”

Manager: “A lot, and I think that the power of Christ should compel you to learn how to look up his browser history. Have a good day.”

[florida80]

How About Some Ritalin While You’re At It

Pharmacy | | Right | May 7, 2008


(Our insurance transmitter was experiencing problems, so we were unable to transmit to any insurance companies when filling prescriptions. I explained this to one customer, who decided to sit and wait for a while to see if the transmitter would come back up. Meanwhile another customer came in with a prescription.)

New Customer: “Hi, I’d like this filled please.”

Me: *explains transmitter problem*

New Customer: “Oh that’s okay, I don’t have insurance.”

Me: “No problem, we’ll have it ready in just a few minutes.”

Original Customer: “Wait! I was ahead of her! Why isn’t mine ready!?”

Me: “We are still waiting for the insurance transmitter to come back up, sir.”

Original Customer: “Well how did you fill hers!”

New Customer: “I pay cash, I don’t have prescription coverage.”

Original Customer: “Well I pay cash too!”

Me: “You want to just get it at retail price, and not use insurance?”

Original Customer: “Yes! I have cash! I’ll pay for it, just fill it now!”

(5 minutes later…)

Me: “Okay sir, we’ve got you ready. The total comes to $35.99.”

Original Customer: “WHAT! My co-pay is only $3.00!”

Me: “Sir, you said you wanted to go ahead and pay cash price since the insurance transmitter is still down.”

Original Customer: “I do have cash! See?” *shows wallet with cash in it* “Why is it $35?! You people don’t know anything! I’m taking my business elsewhere!”

Me: *face palm*

[florida80]

Back In My Day, Pills Fell Like Mana From The Heavens

Pharmacy | | Right | March 13, 2008


(I was cashiering the closing shift on a Sunday night. The pharmacy closes earlier than the rest of the store on weekends. A customer comes in at 9:30pm.)

Customer: “Oh sh*t! The pharmacy is closed?!”

Me: “Yes, they close at 6pm on weekends. They will open again at 8am tomorrow morning.”

Customer: “But I need a prescription filled.”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but the pharmacist will not be here until 8am tomorrow morning.”

Customer: “Can’t you do it?”

Me: “No…”

Customer: “Why not?!”

Me: “I’m not a pharmacist.”

Customer: “Don’t be a smart a**!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Only a pharmacist can fill your prescription.”

Customer: “What is this world coming to?!” *storms out*

[florida80]

Insert Butt Crack Here

Pharmacy | | Right | October 31, 2008


Customer: “Hi, I’m having a problem with my suppositories. They’re not working at all!”

Me: “Okay, let me get the pharmacist for you so he can help you.”

(The customer decides to just yell the same question over two counters to the pharmacist in front of at least 10 other people.)

Pharmacist: “Ma’am, would you like to come over to our consultation are so we can talk about this privately?”

Customer: “No, I just want to know why my suppositories aren’t working!”

Pharmacist: “Well, okay. Are they melting before you insert them?”

Customer: “No, nothing like that!”

Pharmacist: “Are they breaking up into pieces before you use them?”

Customer: “No, no, nothing like that! They’re all in one piece and the same shape and all that stuff! I know how to follow the d*** directions!”

Pharmacist: “Are parts of the foil wrapper sticking to it at all?”

Customer: “What wrapper?!”

(Note: the suppository wrappers are aluminum foil with sharp edges. Ouch.)

[florida80]

After This, She’s Gonna Need An Antidepressant

Pharmacy | | Right | October 26, 2008


Customer: “Hi, can I have some of those allergy medications that are behind the counter? The 24 hour kind.”

Me: “Sure thing…”

(I grab one, because law mandates that the computers only allow me to check out one 24 hour medication for a certain period of time).

Customer: “Oh, I wanted four. Can I have four, please?”

Me: “Sorry, I can only give you one. There’s a law that makes me check your ID on the computer. It won’t let me check out more than one for you, at least not in the 24 hour dose.”

Customer: “Well, can you at least try? If you’d TRY once in a while, you never know what you can do!”

Me: “Alright then…”

(I scan one and sure enough, the second won’t go through.)

Me: “Yup, it won’t let me check out the second one. Your total’s gonna be about 20 bucks.”

Customer: “Okay, now try the third one.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “If the second one didn’t work, maybe the third one will.”

Me: “Ma’am, all four of these are exactly the same. If the second one didn’t work, what makes you think if I rang up another box of the exact same thing would work?”

Customer: “JUST DO IT!”

Me: “Okay… yeah… it’s not working.”

Customer: “Okay, now try the fourth one.”

(Suffice it to say it doesn’t work; after she buys her one box, she comes back about fifteen minutes later.)

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU SELL ME THIS EXPIRED MEDICATION!”

Me: “Err… what? I can guarantee you it’s not. I checked it before I gave it to you.”

Customer: “Oh yeah? Then what’s this? It says FEB 10!”

Me: “Yes… February… of 2010. Not February 10th.”

Customer: “Uh… well, I’m older than you and I probably make way more than you anyway, so I’m right. I’m 42 and I make $** an hour!”

Me: “I’ll agree with you, you’re much older than I am. I’m only 26. But ma’am, you are talking to a pharmacist. I make twice that. Oh wait… I’m in overtime now… three times that. Actually, in the time it took me to help you, I just made one hour’s worth of your wage. Is there anything else I can do for you today?”



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[florida80]

Even Managers Have A Stupid Quota

Pharmacy | | Right | October 8, 2008


(A young, angry-looking woman is standing at the pharmacy counter with a small pile of white sticks.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, these pregnancy tests are all faulty. I want a refund.”

Me: “Okay. So, what happened? Were they broken or missing pieces?”

Customer: “No, they keep saying positive. I’m not pregnant.”

Me: “Um… okay. So, if you’re not pregnant, then why get the tests?”

Customer: “Get your manager!”

Me: *gets manager*

Manager: “What’s the problem?”

(I wander off at this point, called into the vitamins section. When I come back, security is taking the woman out of the store.)

Me: “What the…?”

Manager: “Twit. She just wanted her money back. I hope she has twins that cause a LOT of pain and are ugly. REAL ugly… and poop a lot!”

[florida80]

Speak For Yourself

Jerk, Pharmacy, USA | Right | August 28, 2008


Customer: “Excuse me!”

Me: “How can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “My wife sent me in here to pick up some chestnut brown and I can’t find it.”

Me: “Okay, is that makeup or hair color?”

Customer: “I don’t know; she just said chestnut brown.”

Me: “Do you happen to remember the brand name?”

Customer: “No! She just said chestnut brown. Weren’t you listening?”

Me: “Well, it sounds like hair dye to me. Let’s have a look.”

(We both go to the hair coloring aisle and I start to look through every shade in every brand. The man does not help at all; it takes me ten minutes.)

Me: “Here you go, sir. This is Garnier hair color, chestnut brown.”

Customer: “Are you sure that’s it? I don’t want to go home and have to come back.”

Me: “You could call your wife and ask her.”

Customer: “She’s not at home. Oh, wait, hold on.”

(He pulls a piece of paper from his pocket and begins to read it.)

Customer: “Yep, Garnier chestnut brown. That’s it!”

Me: “Sir, no offense, but you could have saved us a lot of time by reading that note in the first place.”

Customer: “That’s the problem with this country. Nobody wants to work anymore!”

Me: “Yeah, that’s our problem.”

[florida80]

He Shoots, He Misses

Pharmacy | | Right | August 13, 2008


(I used to work at a drug store. From time to time, the pharmacy portion of the store wouldn’t open because there wasn’t a pharmacist to do so. A customer reads the closed sign…)

Customer: “What’s the meaning of this?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. The pharmacy is closed today because we don’t have a pharmacist.”

Customer: “People are SICK! They need their MEDICATION!”

Me: “I wish there was something I could do, sir, but–”

Customer: “You know what this is? Do you?! Two words! TWO WORDS! UN-ACCEPTABLE!”

[florida80]

All

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Right

Working

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Learning

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Hopeless

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Bilingual Secret Shame

Pharmacy | | Right | April 20, 2009


Customer: “Excuse me, what are diaper couches?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Diaper couches.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m not sure what you mean.”

Customer: *points to the boxes of diapers* “That box! It says ‘diaper couches’.”

Me: *suddenly understanding* “Ma’am, that box says diapers, and then it says ‘couches’. That’s the French word for diapers.”

Customer: *looks around, then whispers* “Don’t tell anyone!” *leaves*

[florida80]

Rip Van Winkle To The Extreme

Pharmacy | | Right | April 2, 2009


Customer: “Hi, I have a rather simple question to ask you.”

Me: “Sure thing. What can I help you with?”

Customer: “Hypothetically speaking, if I wanted to make someone sleep for a really long time, what would I use?”

Me: “Um, just how long are you talking?”

Customer: “Well, I was thinking somewhere around forever.”

Me: “…”

[florida80]

MacGyver Becomes a Dad

Pharmacy | | Right | March 26, 2009


(A man was picking up a prescription for his infant child.)

Customer: “How much did you say the prescription was?”

Me: “$49.99.”

Customer: “What’s the difference between this and what I can get over the counter?”

Me: “There’s no cough medicine you can give your 8 month old, sir, other than this.”

Customer: “Well, what’s in it?”

(He picks up the prescription papers and starts rustling through them.)

Customer: “If I can buy everything that’s in it over the counter, I’ll just make it myself.”

Me: “…excuse me?”

[florida80]

Perhaps Multiple Choice Might Be Easier

Pharmacy | | Right | February 20, 2009


Customer: “I’m after some cold and flu medication.”

Me: “Sure, do you take any other medication?”

Customer: “Um… no… I don’t thi-… wait, yes, but it’s… actually no, no, I don’t.”

Me: “Okay then, and are you allergic to anything?”

Customer: “God, this is too hard!” *storms out*

[florida80]

Surely, One Missed Anatomy Class Can’t Hurt…

Pharmacy | | Right | February 19, 2009


(A woman walks in with her daughter one afternoon.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “There’s something wrong with my daughter.”

Me: “Oh?”

Customer: “Her eyes keep closing on their own!”

Me: “…ma’am, that’s called blinking.”

[florida80]

TMI Mom Tries To Help

Pharmacy | | Right | July 6, 2009


(A forty-something year old woman comes to the counter with her purchases. Amongst them is a box of condoms, which have security stickers on them. Before I scan the item, I swipe it a few times over the scanner to deactivate it.)

Customer: “Is it not scanning?”

Me: “No, I’m just deactivating the security sticker. I don’t want you to set off the alarm on the way out. Especially over condoms!”

Customer: “Oh I’m not embarrassed! They’re not for me, they’re for my son. I can’t even get an erection!”

[florida80]

Script Stupidity

Pharmacy | | Right | May 28, 2009


Customer: *holds up two bottles* “What’s the difference between these two medicines?”

Me: “The one on the left is a capsule; the one on the right is a tablet.”

Customer: “I mean, which one would be better?”

Me: “They’re exactly the same medicine, just in different forms. Most people buy whichever one is easier for them to swallow.”

Customer: “That’s just stupid! How can you swallow a bottle?”



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[florida80]

Where There’s A Pill, There’s A Way

Pharmacy | | Right | May 21, 2009


(A customer comes in with a prescription for a narcotic pain reliever. He says that he was at the hospital with his wife and the hospital stole his pills, which is why he needs to get this prescription filled, even though his last prescription was just filled a few days ago.)

Me: “OK, sir, I talked to your doctor and he says I can fill your prescription.”

Customer: “Great, can I wait? I have no pills left and I really need it.”

Me: “It’ll be about 10 minutes.”

(10 minutes later.)

Me: “OK sir, your prescription is ready.”

Customer: “Hey, are those pills the same as this?” *holds up pill*

Me: “I thought you didn’t have any pills left, sir.”

Customer: “Well…I bought this off the street, to be honest with you.”

Me: “Oh…good.”

[florida80]

Super Absorbent For Those Mentally Heavy Days

Pharmacy | | Right | April 23, 2009


(An elderly man calls up to the store.)

Me: “Thank you for calling ****, this is ****, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, my granddaughter came to visit me, and she bought me a birthday gift. It’s on the kitchen table, but I’m not sure what it is.”

Me: “OK, well, what can you tell me about the product?”

Customer: “Well, the box says ‘K-O-T-E-X’ – can you tell me what that is, honey? What it’s used for? I just can’t figure it out.”

Me: Well, sir…that’s a feminine hygiene product.”

Customer: “Feminine hygiene? What’s the product for? I just can’t figure it out.”

Me: “Sir…it’s for women on their period.”

Customer: “Why would my granddaughter buy me Kotex?”

Me: “I don’t know sir, maybe you should ask her that.”

Customer: “So can I still use them to stir my Kool-Aid with? Because that’s what I’ve been using them for.”

[florida80]

Yeah, Definitely Contraindicated

Pharmacy | | Right | April 21, 2009


(A patient walks up to the pick up window looking like he just came from the emergency room.)

Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I wanna drop this off…” *hands me an ER prescription*

Me: “Sir, this is the pick up window. You need to drop off the prescription at the drop off window.”

Customer: “Where’s that?”

Me: “The counter at the entrance to the room with the big sign that says “Drop Off Window’.”

Customer: “Where?”

Me: “You know, you already waited in line so I’ll just take the prescription here. Have you ever had any medication here before?”

Customer: “I don’t know, have I?”

Me: “I’ll take that as a no. Do you have any allergies to medication?”

Customer: “Well, when I mix heroin and battery acid, I get a rash.”

Me: “… I’ll make a note on that.”

[florida80]

This One’s A No-Brainer

Pharmacy | Sydney, Australia | Right | February 13, 2010


Customer: “My mother is taking some medication and it is making her sick. Can you stop giving it to her?”

Me: “I’ll have to ask the pharmacist for you. What medication is it?”

Customer: “It’s a little white pill.”

Me: “You don’t know the name of it, sir? We do have many white pills in the pharmacy.”

Customer: “I think it’s for her heart…or her brain.”

[florida80]

Noah Already Had Two Customers On The Ark

Pharmacy | | Right | October 26, 2009


(Note: much of our area is suffering from massive flooding. A man walks into our chain pharmacy, completely drenched from the chest down.)

Me: “Wow, what happened to you?”

Customer: “I tried to go to your other location and it was closed!”

Me: “That location is flooded, sir. There’s about four feet of water surrounding it.”

Customer: “I know! I had to wade all the way up to the door before I found out it was closed! How do you think I got so wet?”



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[florida80]

Not A Case Of If, But When…

Pharmacy | | Right | August 20, 2009


(While waiting in line, I overhear a conversation between a teenager and a police officer, both of whom are also waiting. The boy has red plastic cups and ping pong balls in hand.)

Officer: “Can I ask what those are for?”

Teenage customer: “No, no questions.”

Officer: “Where’s the party?”

Teenage customer: “No parties.”

(The kid checks out, and as he’s walking out the door yells “SODA PONG!” and flicks his wrist.)

Officer, to me: “Yeah, I’ll get the call in a couple hours.”

[florida80]

There’s No Pills Like Home

Pharmacy | | Right | July 17, 2009


(A patient called in to inquire about her medication she had just picked up.)

Me: *on the phone* “Pharmacy.”

Patient: “Hi, I just picked up this medication, and I think I may have a problem.”

Me: “Is there something incorrect with how it was filled?”

Patient: “No, it’s just that the cream here says to apply locally, and I’m going out of town tonight. I was wondering if I could still use it.”

Me: “Um…yes, yes you can.”

Patient: “Oh, OK good…. Oh…oh God. I just realized…oh my God, just forget I asked! How stupid of me!”

[florida80]

On The Bright Side, There Are Worse Orifices

Pharmacy | | Right | July 15, 2009


Me: “*** Pharmacy, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, your medicine is defective.”

Me: “Sir, why don’t I get your information so I can take a look at your profile.”

Customer: *gives his name and date of birth*

Me: “I see that the last prescriptions you filled were antibiotic and drops for your ear infection. Are your symptoms still bothering you?”

Customer: “Yes, and how the h*** do you expect me to fit this giant pill in my ear?”

Me: “Sir, that’s an antibiotic tablet. It’s meant to be taken orally.”



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Where There’s A Pill, There’s A Way

Pharmacy | | Right | May 21, 2009


(A customer comes in with a prescription for a narcotic pain reliever. He says that he was at the hospital with his wife and the hospital stole his pills, which is why he needs to get this prescription filled, even though his last prescription was just filled a few days ago.)

Me: “OK, sir, I talked to your doctor and he says I can fill your prescription.”

Customer: “Great, can I wait? I have no pills left and I really need it.”

Me: “It’ll be about 10 minutes.”

(10 minutes later.)

Me: “OK sir, your prescription is ready.”

Customer: “Hey, are those pills the same as this?” *holds up pill*

Me: “I thought you didn’t have any pills left, sir.”

Customer: “Well…I bought this off the street, to be honest with you.”

Me: “Oh…good.”



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[florida80]

Super Absorbent For Those Mentally Heavy Days

Pharmacy | | Right | April 23, 2009


(An elderly man calls up to the store.)

Me: “Thank you for calling ****, this is ****, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, my granddaughter came to visit me, and she bought me a birthday gift. It’s on the kitchen table, but I’m not sure what it is.”

Me: “OK, well, what can you tell me about the product?”

Customer: “Well, the box says ‘K-O-T-E-X’ – can you tell me what that is, honey? What it’s used for? I just can’t figure it out.”

Me: Well, sir…that’s a feminine hygiene product.”

Customer: “Feminine hygiene? What’s the product for? I just can’t figure it out.”

Me: “Sir…it’s for women on their period.”

Customer: “Why would my granddaughter buy me Kotex?”

Me: “I don’t know sir, maybe you should ask her that.”

Customer: “So can I still use them to stir my Kool-Aid with? Because that’s what I’ve been using them for.”

[florida80]

Yeah, Definitely Contraindicated

Pharmacy | | Right | April 21, 2009


(A patient walks up to the pick up window looking like he just came from the emergency room.)

Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I wanna drop this off…” *hands me an ER prescription*

Me: “Sir, this is the pick up window. You need to drop off the prescription at the drop off window.”

Customer: “Where’s that?”

Me: “The counter at the entrance to the room with the big sign that says “Drop Off Window’.”

Customer: “Where?”

Me: “You know, you already waited in line so I’ll just take the prescription here. Have you ever had any medication here before?”

Customer: “I don’t know, have I?”

Me: “I’ll take that as a no. Do you have any allergies to medication?”

Customer: “Well, when I mix heroin and battery acid, I get a rash.”

Me: “… I’ll make a note on that.”

[florida80]

This One’s A No-Brainer

Pharmacy | Sydney, Australia | Right | February 13, 2010


Customer: “My mother is taking some medication and it is making her sick. Can you stop giving it to her?”

Me: “I’ll have to ask the pharmacist for you. What medication is it?”

Customer: “It’s a little white pill.”

Me: “You don’t know the name of it, sir? We do have many white pills in the pharmacy.”

Customer: “I think it’s for her heart…or her brain

[florida80]

Noah Already Had Two Customers On The Ark

Pharmacy | | Right | October 26, 2009


(Note: much of our area is suffering from massive flooding. A man walks into our chain pharmacy, completely drenched from the chest down.)

Me: “Wow, what happened to you?”

Customer: “I tried to go to your other location and it was closed!”

Me: “That location is flooded, sir. There’s about four feet of water surrounding it.”

Customer: “I know! I had to wade all the way up to the door before I found out it was closed! How do you think I got so wet?”

[florida80]

Not A Case Of If, But When…

Pharmacy | | Right | August 20, 2009


(While waiting in line, I overhear a conversation between a teenager and a police officer, both of whom are also waiting. The boy has red plastic cups and ping pong balls in hand.)

Officer: “Can I ask what those are for?”

Teenage customer: “No, no questions.”

Officer: “Where’s the party?”

Teenage customer: “No parties.”

(The kid checks out, and as he’s walking out the door yells “SODA PONG!” and flicks his wrist.)

Officer, to me: “Yeah, I’ll get the call in a couple hours.”

[florida80]

There’s No Pills Like Home

Pharmacy | | Right | July 17, 2009


(A patient called in to inquire about her medication she had just picked up.)

Me: *on the phone* “Pharmacy.”

Patient: “Hi, I just picked up this medication, and I think I may have a problem.”

Me: “Is there something incorrect with how it was filled?”

Patient: “No, it’s just that the cream here says to apply locally, and I’m going out of town tonight. I was wondering if I could still use it.”

Me: “Um…yes, yes you can.”

Patient: “Oh, OK good…. Oh…oh God. I just realized…oh my God, just forget I asked! How stupid of me

[florida80]

On The Bright Side, There Are Worse Orifices

Pharmacy | | Right | July 15, 2009


Me: “*** Pharmacy, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, your medicine is defective.”

Me: “Sir, why don’t I get your information so I can take a look at your profile.”

Customer: *gives his name and date of birth*

Me: “I see that the last prescriptions you filled were antibiotic and drops for your ear infection. Are your symptoms still bothering you?”

Customer: “Yes, and how the h*** do you expect me to fit this giant pill in my ear?”

Me: “Sir, that’s an antibiotic tablet. It’s meant to be taken orally.”

[florida80]

High School Dropouts Work On The Pharm

Pharmacy | Boston, MA, USA | Right | June 12, 2010


(I work as a pharmacy tech at a chain pharmacy. I am also currently in pharmacy school and will be a pharmacist one day.)

Customer: “You should be ashamed of yourself!”

Me: “I’m sorry. Can I help you with something?”

Customer: “No! I refuse to be helped by a high school dropout! You should be ashamed of yourself for working where children can see you! You are going to make them think that it is okay to not have an education!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am not a high school dropout. I have a high school diploma and I am currently in pharmacy school working towards a Doctor of Pharmacy. I am going to be a pharmacist one day.”

Customer: “Stop lying! I have never heard of a pharmacist before. You are a high school dropout!”

Manager: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes! Your employee is lying to me! She says she is going to be a pharmacist! That job doesn’t exist!”

(The manager looks at our pharmacist who is near tears from laughing so hard.)

Manager: “Ma’am, see the man over there? He’s the one who filled your prescription. He is a pharmacist.”

Customer: “No he isn’t! He just counts pills! You don’t need school for that!”

[florida80]

Health Care(less)

Pharmacy | Greenville, SC, USA | Right | May 19, 2010


Me: “That will be $43.78, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, no it won’t.”

Me: “I’m sorry, did you have insurance? You weren’t in the system. Do you have your card on you?”

Customer: “No, I don’t have insurance. Obama said health care is free.”

Me: “I don’t think that’s how it works, ma’am.”

[florida80]

There’s No Pills Like Home, Part 2

Pharmacy | New Jersey, USA | Right | April 19, 2010


(My phone number is 1 number off a nearby pharmacy. We get a lot of misdials. My father happens to actually be a pharmacist but he doesn’t work there.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hello? You just say Hello? How dare you be so rude! You should say “thank you for calling”!”

Me: “Oh, you must be looking for [pharmacy]. You have the wrong number.”

Caller: “Liar! How would you know what store I’m looking for? You’re just trying not to get in trouble. Give me your manager.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t have a manager. You’ve called a private residence. The number for the pharmacy is close to our number, so we get a lot of wrong calls.”

Caller: “This is outrageous! Give me your manager! I will not be treated this way!”

(At this point the caller was rambling and being rude so I hung up the phone. She called back, and my father answered it.)

Father: “Hello?”

Caller: “Is this the manager? Thank god! I want to know if [drug] can be taken with food! And you should fire that girl that answered before, she was very rude to me! I want to file a complaint!”

Father: “Ma’am, this is not the grocery store pharmacy. You just told off my 14-year old daughter. I happen to be a pharmacist. That drug does not need to be taken with food. However, you should see a doctor about your ears, as you clearly can’t hear a word anyone says.”

[florida80]

Seriously Bad Hair Day

Pharmacy | Melbourne, Australia | Right | March 11, 2010


(It’s 10pm we are in the final motions of locking up, registers closed and lights off. I’m just locking the door.)

Customer: *runs up in a panic* “Oh no! You are closed? It’s an emergency! I really need to buy one thing!”

Me: “Sorry, we’re closed. Maybe you could come back in the morning.”

Customer: “No! I can’t wait that long-this is an emergency! Please help me!”

Me: “OK, I suppose I can help you quickly for an emergency. Do you need antibiotics or paracetamol or something?”

Customer: “I need a packet of hair pins

[florida80]

How To Seize The Moment

Pharmacy | Tallmadge, OH, USA | Right | March 8, 2010


(An elderly woman is having a seizure and obviously 911 was called to the scene.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but when can I get my prescription?”

Me: “Ma’am, this woman is having a seizure and needs medical attention right away.”

Customer: “But I was here before her!”

[florida80]

Rectify The Situation

Pharmacy | UK | Right | August 12, 2010


Customer: “Hi there, do you sell rectums?”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “Rectums. I need a rectum. do you sell them?”

Me: “Why do you need it?”

Customer: “I have some tablets here and it says ‘insert via rectum’ and as I don’t have one, I thought I better buy one.”

Me: “I think I better call the pharmacist in.”

(I call the pharmacist in who explains to the man exactly what a rectum is. He leaves red faced.)

[florida80]

Don’t Hold Your Breath For This One

Pharmacy | Boulder, CO, USA | Right | July 16, 2010


(I am counseling a patient on using an inhaler.)

Me: “Do you know how to use an inhaler, sir?”

Patient: “Nope, never used one.”

Me: “Okay, you’ll want to begin inhaling, and then depress the inhaler as you are breathing in. Then, hold your breath for as long as possible to allow the medication to be absorbed into your lungs.”

Patient: “Oh, sort of like smoking pot…”

[florida80]

Hollywood, M.D.

Pharmacy | Vancouver Island, BC, Canada | Right | July 1, 2010


(A customer comes to the counter with a bleeding hand.)

Customer: “Have you got a first aid kit back there? I caught my hand and it’s bleeding.”

Me: “Of course. I’ll go get it.”

(I come back with the kit and take out some antibiotic ointment and some bandages.)

Customer: “Oh, I shouldn’t need the bandages.”

Me: “Are you sure? It’s bleeding quite a lot.”

Customer: “Well, that ointment will just fix it, won’t it?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “That stuff you’ve got in your hand, that’ll just heal it up right?”

Me: “This helps it heal faster and prevents it from getting infected, but it doesn’t heal it immediately.”

Customer: “Don’t you have the stuff that just fixes it right away?”

Me: “I don’t believe they have anything that does that, ma’am.”

Customer: “They do, I saw it before!”

Me: “Where did you see it?”

Customer: “I saw it on some movie. I don’t want that stuff there. I want the stuff I saw in the movie. Just get that stuff and fix this already, will you?”

[florida80]

Medication Frustration

Pharmacy | Vancouver Island, BC, Canada | Right | June 28, 2010


Customer: “I’m picking up a prescription for [name].”

Me: “Okay. Just a second.”

(I check the drawer for the prescription and can’t find it.)

Me: “When did you order it?”

Customer: “Well, I saw the doctor on Monday.”

Me: “So you came in on Monday?”

Customer: “No, I went to the doctor’s on Monday.”

Me: “Okay, so when did you drop your prescription off?”

Customer: “What do you mean? I went to the doctor.”

Me: “And did he give you a piece of paper that said what drugs you needed?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “That’s a prescription. You need to bring it here so that we know what you need.”

Customer: “But I saw the doctor on Monday! Why didn’t he do it?”

Me: “That’s not his job. That’s what pharmacists are for.”

Customer: “So what, he’s a doctor but he’s not a pharmacist? Look, I saw him on Monday so he probably just did it then. You’re just not looking hard enough. Look for the things done on Monday!”

[florida80]

The Truth Is A Bitter Pill To Swallow

Pharmacy | Vancouver Island, BC, Canada | Right | June 25, 2010


Customer: “Why isn’t my prescription ready yet?”

Me: “We’re trying to get in contact with your doctor because of a problem with the prescription. You’re profile says you’re allergic to penicillin. Is that correct?”

Customer: “Oh yeah, that stuff is real bad for me!”

Me: “The medication your doctor prescribed has penicillin in it, so we’re trying to get a hold of him to find out what he wants you to take.”

Customer: “Oh, well, he wants me to take the penicillin. That’s what he wrote down, right?”

Me: “Yes, but you said you were allergic to it.”

Customer: “But he’s a doctor, so he knows what’s best. If that’s what he wrote, then just give me that.”

Me: “Well, we’ll check with him first to make sure that it’s safe for you.”

Customer: “Of course it’s safe for me or the doctor wouldn’t have prescribed it! He probably just cured my allergies. Check my old prescriptions; I bet he prescribed me something to cure my allergy!”

[florida80]

Retired & Extremely Dangerous

Pharmacy | Georgia, USA | Right | October 18, 2010


Me: “Thank you for call [Pharmacy], may I help you?”

Elderly Female Customer: “I would like to get these two of my medications refilled and I want to pick them up tomorrow afternoon.”

Me: “Okay ma’am, that will be fine. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Elderly Female Customer: “Honey, you can come to my house and do me anytime.”

Me: “I, uh, oh, uh…”

Elderly Female Customer: “I hope I didn’t offend you, but I’m old so I can say things like that!”

[florida80]

Discount Discounted

Pharmacy | Sherman Oaks, CA, USA | Right | September 29, 2010


Me: “And do you have a free rewards card with us, ma’am?”

Customer: “A what? I don’t know. Maybe. I don’t know.”

Me: “If you think you have one, I can look it up by your phone number?

Customer: “My what?”

Me: *louder* “Your phone number, ma’am.”

Customer: “I don’t have one of those! I don’t think I have one! I don’t have a phone number! I don’t have one!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, that’s fine. Your total today is $26.74, and just to let you know, you could have saved $5.90 if you had the rewards card.”

Customer: “A discount? My phone number is ***-****.”

[florida80]

Will Power On Aisle 2

Pharmacy | Canada | Right | September 28, 2010


Teenage girl: “Do you guys sell that contraceptive abstinence?”

Me: “Abstinence?”

Teenage girl: “Yeah! Abstinence! I read that it’s the only 100% way to not get pregnant!”

Me: “That’s right. But, abstinence is to not have sex. Like abstain from.”

Teenage girl: “Well, that just sucks!”

[florida80]

Misunderstood ‘Total Coverage’

Pharmacy | Detroit, MI, USA | Right | September 17, 2010


Me: “Our records show you’ve never had a prescription filled here before, so I’ll need an ID and your insurance.”

Customer: “Here’s my ID. I don’t have my insurance on me, but it’s through [car insurance company].”

Me: “Sir, I think that’s your car insurance. Do you have health insurance?”

Customer: “You mean there’s more than one kind?”

[florida80]

Feeling Pooped

Pharmacy | Milwaukee, WI, USA | Right | September 12, 2010


(A couple approaches the counter.)

Me: “Can I help?”

Customer: “Yes, can you give me advice about his stool?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t give medical advice. Perhaps you’d like to speak to our pharmacist, or consult your doctor?”

Customer: “No, I’m sure they’re very busy. I just want someone to tell me if it’s normal.”

Me: “The law says I can’t give advice. Let me get the pharmacist.”

Customer: “No, really, I have some here.” *whips out a clear bag of poo on the counter* “See, it’s all gritty. That’s not normal, is it? Do you have pills for that?”

Me: “Ma’am, you might want to take that to your doctor. We can’t accept biological waste.”

Customer: *to her husband* “See, Joe, I told you it was wrong. That’s why I save them.”

[florida80]

Two Pillows On The Couch, Once Daily

Pharmacy | Richmond, BC, Canada | Right | January 26, 2011


(I need to make a new profile for the customer’s wife on our computer system, so the customer calls his wife.)

Customer, to wife: “Hello? What’s your card number? It’s for the prescription.”

(The customer relays the card number to me. I ask for her birthday.)

Customer, to wife: “When’s your birthday? No, of course I remember. It’s December 7th!”

(I hear his wife cry out loudly over the phone.)

Customer, to wife: “What? It’s September 22nd?!”

(The customer ends the conversation and hangs up the phone.)

Me: “Are you going to be alright when you go back?”

Customer, to me: “You should warn me next time you have to ask for her birthday.”

[florida80]

Identity Theft Is Childs Play

Pharmacy | Iowa City, IA, USA | Right | January 14, 2011


(I am a customer in line. There is a woman with a 4 year old finishing up their purchase.)

Me: “Here’s your change.”

4-Year-Old: “Mommy, can I do the scribbles?”

Customer: “No, honey. I paid with cash, not my credit card.”

[florida80]

Looking Down The Barrel Of A Smoking Gum

Pharmacy | Madison, WI, USA | Right | January 3, 2011


(I hear this conversation in my checkout line.)

Customer #1: “Oh my God, I love that nicotine gum! It makes my mouth feel all numb.”

Customer #2: “You know that stuff’s going to get you addicted to cigarettes, right?”

Customer #1: “Nah! That stuff gets you un-addicted to them and I don’t smoke. I’m fine!”

[florida80]

Children Get Sick Periodically

Pharmacy | New York, New York, USA | Right | November 19, 2010


(A woman walks into the store with her young daughter. Her daughter looks feverish and is sniffling.)

Customer: “Oh look honey, they have candy bars. Go get yourself one while mommy shops for her things.”

(The little girl walks up to the counter and takes a candy bar.)

Me: “Are you feeling okay, little girl?”

Daughter: “My mommy says as long as she gets her tampons, I’ll feel better.”

(The girl suddenly vomits all over the candy bars and on the counter.)

Daughter: “QUICK MOMMY! GET YOUR TAMPONS!”

[florida80]

Ear-Waxing Lyrical About Bad Service

Pharmacy | London, UK | Right | November 1, 2010


Customer: “I’ve come to pick up my prescription.”

Me: “Oh I’m really sorry, due to extenuating circumstances we don’t have a pharmacist at the moment so legally I can’t give out any prescriptions. But if you wait 5 minutes, a replacement pharmacist will be here and then you can take it.”

Customer: “But I need it. Give it to me!”

Me: “I understand your problem but I would be breaking the law if I gave it to you.”

Customer: “I work in the pharmaceutical industry and I know for a fact you are lying! Give it to me now!”

(The pharmacist arrives and I explain the problem.)

Pharmacist: “I’m really sorry for the inconvenience but my colleague was right, there was nothing she could do. But now that I’m here, you can take your prescription.”

Customer: “You’re colleague is a cruel, moral-less b**** with the intelligence of a moron. She has endangered my life! I shall take this to court and win!” *storms out*

Me: *to pharmacist* “What was in her prescription?”

Pharmacist: “Drops for excessive ear wax.”

[florida80]

Some Sick Mannerisms

Australia, Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Melbourne, Pharmacy, Victoria | Right | August 14, 2018


(I’m working the front register at a large pharmacy when a woman comes up from the pharmacist’s desk with her items. She looks like a zombie with bleary, watering eyes and a red nose. I try to speak gently.)

Me: “Hello there.”

Customer: *clearly super congested* “Ngehh.”

(She dumps painkillers, nasal decongestants, cough medicine, and an inhaler on the counter, and then sniffles and gives me a glum look.)

Me: “Not feeling well today? I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Mrrr..”

Me: “Hopefully some of these will help you feel better!”

Customer: *coughs and whimpers*

(She pays, and then picks up and cuddles the bag of medicine.)

Customer: *sniffle* “Egh.” *sniffle* “Ehh… thangks. Have a dice day.”

Coworker: *to me* “Wow. So, her manners were the only thing not broken? What a nice change.”

[florida80]

Misunderstanding Of A Dollar-Printing Factory

Crazy Requests, Money, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, Pittsburgh, USA | Right | August 14, 2018


(I am working a morning shift behind my register when a disheveled man walks in and approaches the counter. He mumbles and slurs his words together when he talks, making him very difficult to understand.)

Customer: “I need a—” *incomprehensible*

Me: “Sorry, what was that?”

Customer: “I said I need a dollar!”

Me: *thinking he needs to exchange some bills or coins* “Okay, what do you have on you? And how would you like that?”

Customer: “Nooo, I need a dollar.”

Me: *now thinking he might need cash back* “Okay, you just have you buy something small, like a pack of gum or something. I can’t give out money directly from the register.”

Customer: *growing more frustrated* “NO! You see, I have four dollars. And I need five dollars. So, I need a dollar.”

Me: “Sir, I can’t just give out money from the register.”

Customer: *stares at me with a mixture of anger and confusion*

Me: “I can give you cash back or exchange money, but I can’t just give you a dollar. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “I can’t give you money out of my register.”

Customer: *stares at me again and finally leaves*

(I’m not sure why that dollar was so important, or why it’s so hard to understand that stores don’t just give money out to people who ask.)

[florida80]

Prescribe Some Common Sense And Anger Management

Extra Stupid, Jerk, Non-Dialogue, Pharmacy, USA, Vermont | Working | August 13, 2018


I work in a pharmacy and we have the store divided into sections: Front Store and Pharmacy. When you give us a call, the prompts will tell you to press one number to talk to Pharmacy, and to press another number for general store questions.

I have just finished helping a customer find an item, and my coworker is on break, which means that I’m all alone up front, and that’s when I get a line of customers and the phone starts ringing.

I pick up the phone while one customer is paying and ask if it’s all right if I put them on hold for a moment. The customer yells, “No, you cannot! I’ve been waiting twenty minutes for my prescription and that is unacceptable!”

The woman tries to keep ranting at me, but I firmly interrupt her to tell her that she’s called the front part of the store and that I’ll have to transfer her to the Pharmacy.

Later, I catch one of the Pharmacy techs and apologize for sending the irate customer their way. The tech looks at me and laughs, and tells me that the woman on the phone wasn’t even in our system, and that her friend who dropped off her prescription dropped it off at another pharmacy altogether.

So, not only did that woman reach the wrong part of the store, but also she didn’t even get the right store!

[florida80]

Prescribing You The Ability To Listen

Jerk, Minnesota, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | August 9, 2018


(It’s Memorial Day, and my pharmacy is one of the few within a 20-mile radius that is open. My coworker is on break and I am managing the front of the pharmacy.)

Me: “Hi, sir, how I can help you today?”

Customer: “I’m here to pick up two prescriptions for [Customer].”

Me: “All right, sir, it looks like I have one prescription ready for you, but the other prescription — your [Prescription] — we’re still waiting to hear back from your doctor for more refills.”

Customer: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THEY’RE NOT DONE?!”

Me: “There is one prescription done and ready for you to pick up, sir. The other prescription you requested, your [Prescription], isn’t, because we haven’t heard back from your doctor yet.”

Customer: “I HATE THIS PLACE! YOU GUYS NEVER HAVE ANYTHING DONE! I BROUGHT TWO PRESCRIPTIONS IN ON FRIDAY, AND YOU’RE TELLING ME THEY’RE STILL NOT DONE?!”

Me: “Sir, I have one prescription ready for you right now.” *pause* “The other one is still waiting on your doctor for approval, and since it’s Memorial Day, we may not hear back from your doctor until tomorrow.”

Customer: “You guys are horrible! You never have anything done for me! I hate it here!” *walks off*

(After he walked away, I looked back at the screen to see when he brought in the prescriptions. And turns out, he brought them in yesterday, not Friday. But either way, we still had one he could have taken home with him.)

[florida80]

Clearly They Need Drugs

Crazy Requests, New York, Pharmacy, Staten Island, USA | Right | August 2, 2018


(A customer comes up through my pharmacy drive-thru and hands me a script for Oxycontin, 30mg, which we do not carry.)

Customer: “I’d like to fill this script here.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t carry this particular medication.”

Customer: “But I want it.”

Me: “We don’t carry this, though. There’s a pharmacy a few blocks from here that does carry this; have you tried filling there?”

Customer: “I don’t want to fill it there. I want it here. You know what? I’m not going to argue with you morons. I’ll come back in an hour to pick it up.”

(I have had no chance to verify any information for this patient — no date of birth, no phone number. The patient comes back in about twenty minutes:)

Customer: “Is it ready yet?”

Me: “No, and we don’t carry this medication.”

Customer: “But I want it now! You had a whole hour to figure it out! Let me speak to your manager!”

(I bring my manager over, and she tells him the exact same thing.)

Customer: “Oh, really? I didn’t know that. Maybe your employee should have told me that before wasting my time

[florida80]

No Spoonful Of Sugar Is Helping This Medicine Go Down

Bad Behavior, Florida, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, USA |
Healthy | July 31, 2018

(When you come to pick up a prescription, I have to make sure it’s going to the right person or I get written up and, if I get written up enough times, lose my job. This particular pharmacy asks that we verify the address on file, but if they don’t know it, I’ll usually take some other manner of verification if necessary. It’s late, and there’s an hour and a half left to go of a seven-hour day, and all I want to do is go home, so I admit I’m a bit tired. A guy comes up who couldn’t be more than 22, I’d guess, and I smile and go to the register, asking him who he’s picking up for.)

Guy: “My girlfriend.”

Me: “Okay. What’s her name?”

Guy: “[First Name].”

(I need a last name in particular to search, and unfortunately most of the younger crowd usually never give their last name unless prompted. I have no idea why.)

Me: “What’s her last name?”

Guy: “[Last Name].”

(I go over to get it, which doesn’t take long, and return.)

Me: “And what’s her address, please?”

(He gives me this look like I’ve told him that the sky is green or that he’s standing on his head.)

Guy: “I’ve picked up before and they’ve never, ever asked me for her address before.”

(Then he clearly hasn’t picked up for her before at this pharmacy, because we always ask for the address. I say it so often that even when I’m doing things that don’t require it, I sometimes end up saying the words. Sometimes I end up asking them their address before I ask their name, before I can stop myself.)

Me: “Um… We always ask for the address.”

Guy: “No one has ever asked me before!”

Me: “Well, sometimes if you don’t know it, we’ll try another way to verify. Do you know it?”

Guy: “No!”

Me: “Okay, what’s her date of birth?”

(That, he knows. He tells that to me and I’m assured that I have the right person. A new law was passed in July that on certain types and classes of medicines, I now have to ask for a form of ID and enter it into the computer. What he’s picking up falls into that class.)

Me: “I need to see your ID, please.”

Guy: “Why?”

Me: “It’s the law as of the first of July. I have to have an ID.”

Guy: “Does that mean I have to get hers from the car?”

Me: “No, I need yours, since you’re picking it up.”

Guy: “But… does that mean I have to get hers?”

Me: “Um… No. I need yours.”

Guy: “I don’t have mine.”

Me: “Then she has to come in and pick it up.”

Guy: “Why can’t I just go get hers and give it to you?”

(Now I can understand his hesitancy. There’s a big storm that has been going on all day, but neither weather nor annoying teenagers are going to make me break the law.)

Me: “Because it’s her license. Whatever license I have has to be for the person picking up. It’s the law.”

(We go back and forth about this for another minute, to the point that my pharmacist has to come over and back me up, telling him that we have to follow all rules and regulations, and if it’s her license, it has be her. He finally goes out to get her and comes back in. I think this is a wonderful opportunity to do my job right now that she’s here.)

Me: “What’s your address?”

Girl: *throws her ID on the counter* “On file.”

Me: *blink*

(I’ve never had a customer refuse to give their address. Sometimes they’ll pretend to give me a hard time or forget some of the numbers, but I’ve never had someone give me a smart a** remark about it being “on file,” because most have the intelligence to realize that there’s a reason I’m asking for it and it’s most certainly not to hear myself talk. I want to keep my job.)

Me: “I’m sorry; we ask that for verification. If you don’t know yo—”

Girl: *interrupts snottily* “I know my address. It’s [address].”

(She picked up her license from the counter and proceeded to throw it again. I decided I’d had enough of dealing with the twat that was clearly just too lazy to come in and sent her boyfriend in for her, since I could see no legitimate reason for her not to come in besides the rain. And part of me wanted a little bit of revenge for these people half my age giving me a hard time, so I took my time, every bit of it that I could, prolonging the transaction just because they were antsy. As they left, she shot me a glare, snatched up her prescription, and then went to the industrial scale nearby that people use to measure weight and proceeded to jump up and down on it once or twice before leaving.)

[florida80]

This Policy Has Gone To The Dogs

Canada, Employees, Grocery Store, Jerk, Ontario, Pets & Animals, Pharmacy, Revolting | Working | July 31, 2018


(I’m at common, nationwide pharmacy and grocery store when I see a woman walking a small dog down one of the aisles. While the woman is distracted, I watch the dog pee on a shelf filled with cereal boxes. The woman never seems to notice, so as I am heading to the cash, anyway, I decide to tell the cashiers about the dog. There are two cashiers and a supervisor at the front when I get up there.)

Me: “Hi, do you guys know you have a lady in here walking around with a dog?”

Supervisor: “Yeah, it’s fine.”

Me: “Really? So, I can bring my dog in with me next time?”

(Pointing at my dog sitting outside the glass window watching for me.)

Supervisor: “Ah, no. She’s just a friend, so it’s okay.”

Me: “Not really. Your company policy says no dogs except service dogs, so I should be allowed to bring my dog in if that woman can; it’s clearly not a service dog.”

Supervisor: “No, but it’s a really good dog! So, it’s okay for her, but uh, your dog can’t come in. “

(I see nothing wrong with dogs in stores as long as the owners are responsible, clean up if there’s an accident, and carefully watch them. I also have this view of parents with kids. My dog loves her pet store and hardware store walking trips, but this attitude annoyed me. Guess what I didn’t tell them?)

[florida80]

Trying To Pay With A Photo Finish

Extra Stupid, Lebanon, Math & Science, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, USA | Right | July 30, 2018


Customer: “Excuse me, can you help me with this photo machine?”

Me: “Yes, what’s the problem?”

Customer: “It printed all of my photos, but it’s telling me to bring the receipt to the counter, and it’s not printing a receipt.”

(Our kiosk’s receipt printer hasn’t worked in years, so we frequently have to give this explanation.)

Me: “The summary it printed after the last photo is what we use. It tells you how many pictures were in the order, and we can figure the price out from that.”

Customer: “But I don’t know how much photos cost!”

Me: “Well, they’re 29 cents each, and it says here there were 13 photos, so with that—”

Customer: “But it doesn’t tell me how much it’ll cost, or how many photos there are!”

(She begins counting the photos by hand, so I grab the calculator and work out the cost.)

Customer: “…twelve, thirteen. Now to get the cost. Thirteen times 29 cents…”

Me: “It’ll be $3.77 before tax, ma’am.”

(The customer ignores me and continues to write out the multiplication.)

Customer: “Okay, it’s $3.77! By the way, you don’t sell photo postcards here, do you? Or any of the stores in this square?”

Me: “I’m afraid we don’t; if anyone here does, it would probably be [Other Store], so I’d check there first.”

Customer: “Thank you. I’ll do that!”

(The customer immediately turns from the counter and starts toward the exit.)

Me: “Ma’am, you need to— Ma’am, you need to pay for those!”

Customer: “I did!”

Me: “No… you didn’t.”

Customer: “I paid it right over there, you can check my balance and see!”

(Fearful that she might have tried jamming her card into a slot on the kiosk, I rush around… only to find her pointing at the ATM next to it.)

Customer: “I slid it right here, and it says here you can check my balance to see.”

Me: “This is the store’s ATM, not part of the photo machine.”

Customer: “Well, can I check my balance?”

Me: “Uh… Yes?”

(With another customer waiting, I leave to ring them up while keeping the first customer in earshot while she uses the ATM.)

Customer: “It wants a PIN? It’s never asked for that before!”

(I finish checking the second customer out, right as the first customer walks back up to the counter.)

Customer: “Since when does it want a PIN for anything? Anyway, I guess I’ll trust that I still need to pay for these. But I’m using cash this time, not a card!”

Me: “All right, after tax, that’ll be four dollars even!”

(The customer pulls out a small wad of bills with a twenty and three ones visible. She returns to her purse, and I assume she’s getting a fourth dollar bill.)

Customer: “Feels like it’s been forever since I paid with cash!”

(She does pull out another wad of cash with another dollar bill, only to drop it and continue digging for two more handfuls. By the time she stops, I can see a five, a ten, a twenty, and far more ones than needed to pay for the pictures.)

Me: “Ma’am, you… have enough to pay for this…”

(Paying no attention to me, she begins straightening out some of the ones, the five, and the twenty. After she’s stacked twelve of them up, she sighs and slides me the ten.)

Customer: “Oh, just take it out of the ten, then.”

Me: “Um… Okay… And six dollars is your change!”

Customer: “Whew, never a dull moment, is there?”

Me: “Nope!”

[florida80]

The Couponator 7: The Forgotten Coupon

At The Checkout, Coupon, Kentucky, Pharmacy, USA | Right | July 24, 2018


(I’m a cashier at a pharmacy. Unfortunately, due to its rewards program, our chain is a haven for “Coupon Queens” to come buy a cartload of products for $3.00. I mean, do what you gotta do, but sometimes, the couponers get way out of hand. The customer in this story is a notorious regular, and he and his wife always make my coworkers and me go running when they come into the store. The customer, sans his wife, has been chatting to me while I ring him up, going on about saving this and saving that, occasionally snapping at me if I even look at one of the items he’s set aside for a third or fourth transaction. It takes fifteen minutes before I finally get it all rang up.)

Customer: “I’ll bring your cart back in when I get these out to my car. I just… Oh, s***!”

Me: “Is everything all right, sir?”

Customer: “I forgot to use my coupons on this stuff. Oh, my God, my wife is going to kill me. Here, you need to refund all of these so I can do it again and use my coupons.”

Me: “I… I’m sorry, sir. I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Well, why the h*** not? I have the coupons right here; there’s no one else in line right now.”

Me: “Sir, it’s against company policy. I cannot refund your items for full price, and then sell them back to you when you’re using coupons.”

Customer: “Well, I’m going to tell my wife you did this!” *storms out*

[florida80]

On A Check Trek

British Columbia, Canada, Delta, Employees, Lazy/Unhelpful, Pharmacy | Working | July 16, 2018


(I am at the pharmacy picking up my prescriptions, when the pharmacy technician gestures to the bag of syringes that come with.)

Pharmacy Technician: “Are you wanting these, too?”

Me: “They are part of the order, so yes, please.”

Pharmacy Technician: “I’ll have to check on the price.”

Me: “Okay.” *waits for her to go, she stands there*

Pharmacy Technician: “Do you want me to check the price?”

Me: “Um… Yes?”

Pharmacy Technician: “Okay.” *goes to check price and comes back holding the bag* “$1.49!”

Me: “For all of them?”

Pharmacy Technician: “No, only for one.”

Me: “What’s the price on them all?”

Pharmacy Technician: “I’ll have to check that.”

Me: “Okay.” *waits as she stands there*

Pharmacy Technician: “Do you want me to check that?”

Me: “Um… Yes.”

Pharmacy Technician: “Okay.” *grabs calculator* “$17.88.”

Me: “Total price?”

Pharmacy Technician: “Excluding taxes.”

Me: *really don’t want to ask this* “What is the total, please?”

Pharmacy Technician: “I’ll have to check that.”

Me: *wanting to cry, bang head, scream* “Of course you do.” *waits as she stands there*

Pharmacy Technician: “Do you want me to check that?”

Me: *thinks* “NO, I WANT YOU TO DANCE FOR ME! ENTERTAIN ME! ON YOUR HEAD!” *saying* “Yes, please.”

[florida80]

Going To Have A Date Of Death If You Don’t Get It Right

Bad Behavior, Columbus, Extra Stupid, Ohio, Pharmacy, USA | Right | July 14, 2018


(I work in the pharmacy of a regional grocery chain. We require the person picking up a prescription order to give us the patient’s name and date of birth; if they don’t give us the date of birth, we cannot release the prescription order to them. I am doing my scheduled counter rotation when a baby boomer who looks like a redneck Santa approaches. He is talking away on his cell phone.)

Me: “Hi there. Picking up?”

Customer: *pulls his phone away from his face* “Yeah I’m picking up for my mother-in-law. Wife’s after me to get this stuff.”

Me: “Sure thing. What’s her name?”

Customer: “Her name is [Mother-In-Law].”

Me: “And her date of birth?”

Customer: *scoffs* “I don’t know. She’s my mother-in-law. I don’t pay attention to that s***.”

Me: “Unfortunately, our system requires we enter the patient’s date of birth to help prevent prescription theft.”

(The customer quite literally turns very red. I steel myself for an angry tirade.)

Customer: “This is bulls***. Simple mother-f*****…” *storms off, ranting and raving to his wife*

Boss: “[My Name]… what was that all about?”

Me: “He didn’t react very well to me telling him I needed his mother-in-law’s birthdate to release her meds to him.”

Boss: “He was on the phone with his wife, wasn’t he?”

Me: “Yep. Don’t know why he didn’t just ask her.”

[florida80]

How Dare You Stop To Eat?!

Comeuppance, Illinois, Jerk, Patients, Pharmacy, USA | Healthy | July 6, 2018


(I go to the pharmacy department of a larger than normal location of a major retailer. It’s about 2:25 pm, and the gates to the pharmacy counter are down with a sign apologizing for being closed for lunch. There are about four people ahead of me in line. Though I am in a hurry, I decide to stay since the sign states that they will reopen in five minutes. Four minutes later, the gates reopen, and the pharmacist is at the counter alone, since her support staff hasn’t returned yet. She greets the first man in line.)

Pharmacist: “Thank you for waiting. How may I help you, sir?”

Man: “I’m here to pick up my prescription, under [Man].”

(The pharmacist verifies personal information with the man.)

Man: *as the pharmacist is ringing up the order* “I had to wait ten minutes for you guys to open! It’s just ridiculous that—”

Pharmacist: *cutting the man off, in a tone that is both mockingly concerned, and professional* “Yes, sir, it is ridiculous that I have to work a ten-hour shift, and am only allowed twenty minutes to sit down and eat in the back of this store. I’m so sorry that you had to wait that short amount of time. Your total is [amount].”

(The man said nothing further, refused to make eye contact with anyone, paid, and left. By then, her staff had returned, and the pharmacist went to the back of the work area, immediately answering the phone. The staff made short work of the rest of the people in line, who all were friendly to the workers. I was out the door before 2:40 pm.)

[florida80]

How To Treat Dog-Breath

Canada, Extra Stupid, Ontario, Pharmacy, Strangers, Toronto | Healthy | July 6, 2018


(I am a veterinary technician and sometimes I leave work still wearing scrubs.)

Cashier: “So, you work at the dental office in this plaza, right?”

Me: “Nope, I’m a veterinary technician. I work at the vet clinic over there.” *gesturing*

Other Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “I’m a nurse for animals.”

Other Customer: “Oh. There’s this mouth-wash I’ve been meaning to try. The stuff from [Human Brand]. Can you tell me if it’s any good?”

Me: “Um… I’m a veterinary technician. I nurse animals.”

Other Customer: “It’s all the same. So, can you tell me if the mouthwash is any good?”

[florida80]

They Need New Glasses As Well As Their Drugs

Dallas, Ignoring & Inattentive, Patients, Pharmacy, Texas, USA | Healthy | July 5, 2018


(I pull into a drive-thru pharmacy to pick up my prescription, and there’s just one car in front of me. It’s ten full minutes before the car in front of me drives off and I can pull up to the window, but I’m not in a hurry, so I don’t really mind.)

Me: “I’m picking up a prescription for [My Last Name].”

Pharmacist: “Okay, let me just pull that up.”

(She’s gone for a few minutes, and I’m starting to think that this is why the line was slow. Obviously, I think, they must have new people there who don’t know what they’re doing. When she comes back:)

Pharmacist: “I’m sorry, but I don’t have any filled prescriptions listed under your name.”

Me: “But I got an email saying my prescription was ready.”

Pharmacist: “I don’t know what to say. We have you in our system from about two years ago, but there’s nothing recent.”

Me: “Can you check again? I got the email, so I know it’s ready.”

(The pharmacist is gone even longer this time, and I’m starting to feel pretty righteously indignant.)

Pharmacist: “No, we don’t have anything ready for you.”

Me: “Look, that just doesn’t make sense. I don’t understand how I can have an email from Walgreens right here saying that my prescription is ready, but you guys apparently don’t have it.”

Pharmacist: *blank stare* “Ma’am, this is CVS.”

(I felt like such a complete moron that I just drove away in embarrassment. Pharmacist, if you’re out there, I’m really sorry I didn’t apologize!)

[florida80]

They Must Get Lost Driving To The AMC

Extra Stupid, New Jersey, Pharmacy, USA | Right | July 3, 2018


(My aunt works at the pharmacy in a CVS, and often comes home with hilarious stories about customers or doctor offices. This one in particular I find incredibly stupid.)

Aunt: “Hello, this is [Aunt] from CVS. I need to order a refill for [Medication] for [Patient].”

Doctor’s Office: “Where are you calling from?”

Aunt: “CVS.”

Doctor’s Office: “Can you spell that?”

Aunt: “Um… C-V-S.”

Doctor’s Office: “Where? Spell it?”

Aunt: “C as in ‘cat,’ V as in ‘Victor,’ S like in ‘Sam.’”

Doctor’s Office: “Where?”

(According to her, this went on for five minutes before she finally got the medication ordered. The customer even warned her that the office was awful before she made the call.)

[florida80]

You’re Boxing Me In Here

Australia, Extra Stupid, Hobart, Patients, Pharmacy, Tasmania | Healthy | June 27, 2018


(At my pharmacy, we commonly take orders by phone so that a customer’s medications can be ready to collect when they arrive. This phone order, however, is a little different.)

Me: “Good afternoon. This is [Pharmacy]. [My Name] speaking. How can I help?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to order some medications, please.”

Me: “Sure. What do you need?”

Customer: “I can’t remember what they’re called, sorry.”

Me: “That’s okay. We can figure it out. Do you remember what they’re for?”

Customer: “No, sorry. But they come in a box

[florida80]

Mayor Of Candyland Shouldn’t Mix Up His Candies

Bizarre, Employees, Ignoring & Inattentive, Pennsylvania, Pharmacy, Pittsburgh, USA | Right | June 26, 2018


(I work in a pharmacy. I have a regular customer who is rather eccentric, and usually wears the same clothing: a raccoon fur cap — complete with tail — and a denim jacket covered in buttons and patches depicting his niche interests. He also usually rides a store-provided mobility scooter. This day, he comes in wearing a pinstripe suit, a faux velvet top hat, and a plastic pendant on a red ribbon of the sort you might find in a child’s Dracula Halloween costume. He is also walking with a cane, not riding the scooter. It’s the end of a long day, and his outfit is so different from usual that I don’t recognize him at first.)

Me: “Hello, sir. May I have your name?”

Regular: *stares at me for a second* “[Regular].”

Me: “Oh! Mr. [Regular]! Sorry, I didn’t recognize you at first. You’re wearing a different hat!”

(I pull up his profile on the computer while exchanging pleasantries.)

Me: “I’m afraid you don’t have any prescriptions ready. Was there one you were expecting?”

Regular: “I just thought I’d stop by and see if any of my automatic refills were ready.”

Me: “Well, let me see…”

(I look at the relevant page of his profile and see that all of his maintenance medications are indeed set to auto-fill, but it’s still a few weeks before they’re due to be filled again.)

Me: “Looks like you should be good for a while. You should get a call when your prescriptions are filled. Do we have your correct phone number on file?” *repeats number*

Regular: “Yep, that’s the one.”

Me: “All right, then you’ll get a call letting you know when your prescriptions are ready. Thanks for stopping by, Mr. [Regular]. It was good to see you!”

(The regular walks away, making quite the picture with his top hat and suit. The next customer in line comes up to my register and stares after the regular for a moment.)

Customer: “Is he the mayor of Candyland?!”

[florida80]

Teenage Scream

Criminal & Illegal, Pharmacy, South Carolina, Teenagers, USA | Right | June 22, 2018


(I work in a pharmacy. I am filling in as an over-the-counter floor manager while our salaried management is out to meetings. Since I am an hourly supervisor, I am not allowed to do some things, like cash pulls or theft stops, but everything has been smooth throughout the day. It should be noted that at the time of this story, I am several months pregnant, but I am still getting around normally. I am crouching behind the counter for supplies when I hear a customer walk by.)

Me: *popping my head just over the counter* “Good morning!”

Teenage Boy: “Jesus! Uh… hi…”

(The kid looks a bit startled, but I don’t think much of it since I kind of came out of nowhere. I come out from behind the counter to see him flipping through the pegs of condoms. He is acting very sketchy, so I try to stay out of sight but where I can still watch him. Sure enough, he pockets a small pack of condoms. I cut the corner just as he is about to put another pack of condoms in his coat pocket. He drops them on the floor and I exaggeratedly struggle to bend over picking them up.)

Me: *poking my belly out* “Man, let me tell you from experience, I would not recommend this kind.”

(The kid practically ran out of the store, ditching the condoms in his pocket onto a nearby display on the way out.)

[florida80]

Perhaps Multiple Choice Might Be Easier

Pharmacy | | Right | February 20, 2009


Customer: “I’m after some cold and flu medication.”

Me: “Sure, do you take any other medication?”

Customer: “Um… no… I don’t thi-… wait, yes, but it’s… actually no, no, I don’t.”

Me: “Okay then, and are you allergic to anything?”

Customer: “God, this is too hard!” *storms out*

[florida80]

Surely, One Missed Anatomy Class Can’t Hurt…

Pharmacy | | Right | February 19, 2009


(A woman walks in with her daughter one afternoon.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “There’s something wrong with my daughter.”

Me: “Oh?”

Customer: “Her eyes keep closing on their own!”

Me: “…ma’am, that’s called blinking.”

[florida80]

TMI Mom Tries To Help

Pharmacy | | Right | July 6, 2009


(A forty-something year old woman comes to the counter with her purchases. Amongst them is a box of condoms, which have security stickers on them. Before I scan the item, I swipe it a few times over the scanner to deactivate it.)

Customer: “Is it not scanning?”

Me: “No, I’m just deactivating the security sticker. I don’t want you to set off the alarm on the way out. Especially over condoms!”

Customer: “Oh I’m not embarrassed! They’re not for me, they’re for my son. I can’t even get an erection

[florida80]

Script Stupidity

Pharmacy | | Right | May 28, 2009


Customer: *holds up two bottles* “What’s the difference between these two medicines?”

Me: “The one on the left is a capsule; the one on the right is a tablet.”

Customer: “I mean, which one would be better?”

Me: “They’re exactly the same medicine, just in different forms. Most people buy whichever one is easier for them to swallow.”

Customer: “That’s just stupid! How can you swallow a bottle?”

[florida80]

Where There’s A Pill, There’s A Way

Pharmacy | | Right | May 21, 2009


(A customer comes in with a prescription for a narcotic pain reliever. He says that he was at the hospital with his wife and the hospital stole his pills, which is why he needs to get this prescription filled, even though his last prescription was just filled a few days ago.)

Me: “OK, sir, I talked to your doctor and he says I can fill your prescription.”

Customer: “Great, can I wait? I have no pills left and I really need it.”

Me: “It’ll be about 10 minutes.”

(10 minutes later.)

Me: “OK sir, your prescription is ready.”

Customer: “Hey, are those pills the same as this?” *holds up pill*

Me: “I thought you didn’t have any pills left, sir.”

Customer: “Well…I bought this off the street, to be honest with you.”

Me: “Oh…good.”

[florida80]

Super Absorbent For Those Mentally Heavy Days

Pharmacy | | Right | April 23, 2009


(An elderly man calls up to the store.)

Me: “Thank you for calling ****, this is ****, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, my granddaughter came to visit me, and she bought me a birthday gift. It’s on the kitchen table, but I’m not sure what it is.”

Me: “OK, well, what can you tell me about the product?”

Customer: “Well, the box says ‘K-O-T-E-X’ – can you tell me what that is, honey? What it’s used for? I just can’t figure it out.”

Me: Well, sir…that’s a feminine hygiene product.”

Customer: “Feminine hygiene? What’s the product for? I just can’t figure it out.”

Me: “Sir…it’s for women on their period.”

Customer: “Why would my granddaughter buy me Kotex?”

Me: “I don’t know sir, maybe you should ask her that.”

Customer: “So can I still use them to stir my Kool-Aid with? Because that’s what I’ve been using them for.”